#love how you broke it down too soph. gave me a lot to think about tbh

[diyasgarden]

heyyyy. so, i don't know if that's too late for an analysis, but i rewatched challengers yesterday and decided to join the discussion 🫧

okay, so; i kinda tried to analyze myself according to what character i liked the most at first, but then i went with the flow and this is what i got:

first and foremost— tashi. she caught my attention with how ambitious, structured but also broken she is. i even told my partner, "if i were in her place, i would've left those two after the injury and lived my life how i wanted it to". tashi's words didn't sting. i never thought she was "the" villain, if that makes sense; she's just another human being with her complexities and goals that were interrupted by certain individuals— rather by choice or out of desperation, i'm not sure.

the second time i rewatched it, i went to art (unsurprisingly). something something a blonde boy who's so loyal and is willing to move mountains for tashi's approval and that shimmering pride in her eyes... i don't know, i felt it, too. i also wanted tashi to see me at my best and hold me to fall asleep.

i think the character that i connected the most in the sense of how i would've felt in such a situation, would be patrick. i didn't think i'd relate to him so much (from what i gathered yesterday), but seeing him so hurt— understanding that each one of them is a sort of a homewrecker for each other— and also hiding it with a veneer of nonchalance and smugness,,, y'know, relatable lol.

so, yeah; tashi — art — patrick. in this order 🫀

I feel like the common thread here is this focus on the loss the character's experience. Drawn to the tragedy of each of them. Even the order backs this up. Moving from the character who we visibly see lose the most to the one who radiates a sense of loss to the one who has been trying to seem strong in the face of loss.

Being drawn to this aspect feels indicative of being able to understand loss itself, both in others but in yourself. Someone who is very self aware of how they're feeling, regardless if they're expressing it. It's a jumping point for nuance, understanding loss and how it prompts people to act. It's a heavy feeling you carry, but one that makes you a more empathetic and understanding person as a whole.

[mysticalrambling]

Missing You (T.H)

Tom Holland Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Tom is away for shooting and he is missing his daughter’s first easter. You and Sophia miss him terribly and he feels terrible for missing it. Sophia gets hurt during the egg hunt and Tom flies back to be with his family.

Warnings: Angst and some fluff.

._._._._.

“Daddy?” You had been folding your laundry because it was a therapeutic chore. The maid always left it for you by the end of the day because she knew that you enjoyed doing it. Your moment was interrupted by your one year old daughter barging into your room with only one question on her mind.

She had recently started walking and you were silently thankful because your over protective husband wouldn’t let her touch the ground in the fear that she would hurt herself. It even came to the point that Sophia started becoming agitated whenever he interrupted her progress. She would scream Bloody Mary when she saw him approaching with his arms outstretched. You sat him down one day and gently explained to him that we have to let her explore the world. If she falls and gets hurt, then it was our job to take care of her but we could not protect her from everything in advance.

The moment she took her first steps, they were towards Tom. You were there to record the moment and you guys were so glad that Tom had backed off a little bit. He would be there for his little princess every step of the way. If she wanted to leap, she could and he will be there to catch her if she started to fall. Sophia was the most important person in his life after you.

“Daddy is going to be here before your first Easter, bunny. Hopefully.” The last word was more of a mumble for yourself because you really hoped that he would be here. Sophia was born a few weeks after Easter so this was her first one.

“Daddy?”

Sighing, you said, “Let’s just get ready and see how cute you look in your new costume.”

“Bunny!” She ran off to her room to put her name on the and you opened your phone. Your husband told you that he would drop a text at approximately this time if he was going to make it back before the party. Disappointed, you just put the phone back on the side table.

“Okay, you need to sit tightly so that I can make your braids.” She was a hyper ball after she found the candies on the coffee table that you were going to give it to her at the party. Allergies to nuts was one of the many things that she had inherited from Tom and you never liked to take chances regarding their health. “No more sweets for you today, miss.”

“Nooooooo. Daddy!” Sophia’s voice trembled in the end because she knew that her dad would defend her. He was her knight in shining armor.

“Daddy is not here so let’s stop screaming now.” You were already in a sour mood as your husband was not with you on an important milestone. And Sophia was not making things easy for you either.

“No!”

“You are ready. I am going to give you your coloring books while I go get ready.” You did not listen to her small sniffles and went to take a shower while keeping the door open so you could keep an eye on her. When you got out, your phone was ringing and it was Tom.

“Hi. I am so sorry I can’t make it today. I tried my very best to get done with filming but it was not possible. So sorry, darling.” There was a crack in his voice that let you know that he was devastated about it.

“It’s okay, baby. There will be other Easters and you will be there for all of them. Don’t be sad, please.” You  tried cheering him up but it was not working.

Tom was always big on firsts; your first date, your first I love you’s, Sophia’s first kick, Sophia’s first tooth. He kept a record of all the moments and he was incredibly sad that he did not get to witness his child’s first Easter. Acting was something that he really enjoyed but he hated it right now. It was keeping him away from his family. He had planned everything out from where to hide all the eggs to where to buy the small bunny cupcakes that he would give to his little girl at the end of the day. This was not right but he was helpless. He could not do anything because he had an obligation to his fans as well.

“Is she wearing the costume that I ordered her?” When you mumbled out a yes, he asked, “Can you please send me a picture?”

“Soph, come and stand here. Pose for daddy.” When you sent him the picture, there was no response from his side. Seeing the picture, Tom choked back a sob. His little bunny looked incredibly cute with a white dress and a bunny ear headband. A pink tint graced her cheeks which meant that she had some candies and she had a toothy smile. Before he could say anything, the director called him back to shooting. “We will talk to daddy later. He might be busy right now.”

Tom’s mom had planned a party at her house and the whole garden was prepared for the egg hunt. You both wanted to host the party this year but Tom had to go to Cardiff last minute because of his shooting. Your siblings and nieces and nephews were all going to be there. You were happy that you got to spend this occasion with your family but you were miserable right now. Tom was not here.

“Hi. Who is this little rabbit here?” Nikki leaned in front of the toddler and squished Sophia in one of her famous bear hugs.

“Sophia Anne Holland!” There was a proud undertone to her voice because she could speak her whole name now.

“You are the cutest bunny ever.”

“I know.” You all chuckled at her haughty admission and watched as she skipped towards her cousins.

“Tom isn’t going to make it today?”

“Um no. He could not get away from work and he said to apologise on his behalf.” It was like something was missing and you didn’t want to indulge in that feeling.

“I am sorry, darling but he will make it up to you and Sophie.” You wanted to divert the topic so you started to talk about the guests and the decorations.

Pretty soon, you started mingling with the people and they always asked about Tom. You either replied to them or politely redirected the conversation. It felt weird being at a gathering without Tom. You haven’t done that from the past five years and you realised you didn’t much enjoy it now. Keeping an eye on Sophia was hard because it was usually Tom who performed that duty. You were given a free pass at parties from all the responsibilities and were allowed to enjoy every moment. He was always considerate towards you and that is why you loved him to death.

“Sophia, you can not go near the pool.” You caught her in your arms before she could fall in.

“Dada swimm- swimming.” Tommy was the one who was teaching her to swim because it was a hobby that he wanted his daughter to adopt from him. When she saw the water, she thought that her dad will be there to teach her.

“When dad comes back, you can go swimming.” Sophia still kept looking around for her father because this is the longest she has been away from him. Her toddler mind thinks that if she goes to do things that they do together, he will come to her. You couldn’t even get angry at her for wandering around the house without anyone. Hugging her, you tried to distract her, “Now, granny is having an egg hunt and we need to win it, okay bubs?”

“Win!!” You took her in your arms and went towards the garden where all the people were.

“Look, Tom. (Y/N) is here.” A phone was shoved in to your face by Sam and you saw Tom’s face on the screen.

“Hi. I was calling you and you didn’t pick up. I wanted to see Sophie on the egg hunt.” There was a look of longing on his face.

“I was busy with your daughter. She was running near the swimming pool and wanted to get in because she thought that you would be there to teach her.”

“Is she alright? Let me see her.” You angled the phone towards your shoulder where she was leaning on him. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi. Back?” Tom wanted nothing more than to hold his daughter in his arms and his heart broke when his daughter asked him that question. It meant that he was away too long because she never asked that question before. She didn’t need to.

“I’ll be back in no time and then we will go swimming. Promise.”

“Yes.” She hopped down from your arms and went to the start line of the race.

“How have you been?”

“Just missing you a lot and handling Soph is getting harder by the day.” You moved to a more secluded place on the ground so you could talk to your husband.

“I am sorry, darling. When I come back, you can have the whole weekend off.”

“Just come back. I want to spend sometime with my husband.”

“That is a tempting offer but I have to stay here a little longer. But when I come back, we will do more than spend sometime together.”

“I will look forward to it. The game is starting so I have to go.” You were about to end the call but he stopped you.

“I want to see her and I have a break for another twenty minutes.”

“Okay.”

The race soon started and among all her cousins, Sophia was the youngest and the most hyper. You cheered her on with her grandparents and Tom. She was about to win the race and you were more excited than her. Tommy wanted to be there to witness her first victory but he settled down for seeing it on the phone. However, she stumbled on some rocks that were on the trail and she fell hard.

“Oh my god! Go to her, (Y/N).” Tom’s voice broke you out of your horrified trance and you went in to autopilot. When you reached near her, you gave the phone to someone behind you and kneeled in front of your daughter. She was crying really loudly and her arms was bent to an odd angle. Cuddling her in your arms, you picked her up and went towards your car. “What is happening? Mum, tell me!”

“I think Sophie’s arm is broken. (Y/N) is taking her to the hospital right now. I will keep you updated.” Nikki was moving quickly towards her car while she gripped the phone in her hands.

“Mum, I want to talk to my daughter right now.” He didn’t even realise that he was pacing and his hair was all messed up because he ran his hands through it several times.

“Tommy, I will keep you updated. Right now, she is a lot of pain and she is scared.”

“Please keep me informed.” This was one of the worst moment in his life because he wasn’t there for his girls. You both needed him right now and he wasn’t there. He decided then and there that he was going back to London.

Meanwhile, you reached the hospital with Sophia wailing in your arms and Sam driving like a cray man. You were sure that he would have multiple speeding tickets waiting for him when he gets home. The E.R was busy at this time of the day and you just laid your daughter on one of the beds while Nikki went to go get a doctor.

“Honey, it’s going to be okay. Please be strong, baby girl.” There were tears in your eyes as your daughter’s face turned red with all the crying and screaming. The little girl was in too much pain.

“Daddy, plea- please. Hurts a lot.” Hiccuping in the middle of the sentence, you looked at your brother in law helplessly. She wanted Tom and he wasn’t here right now.

“We will talk to daddy after the nice doctor here checks you out, baby.” She wouldn’t let anyone near her or her arm and kept asking for her father, She was inconsolable.

Sitting in front of the bed, the doctor asked, “Hi, I am Dr Ana. What happened to this little bunny here?”

“She, uh, she fell during the race and I think she broke her arm.” You stood on the foot of the bed as you shakily explained the whole situation. “Soph, let her check your boo boo please.”

“Daddy, please.”

“Okay, let me call your dad and you can talk to him.” Nikki interjected when she saw that the conversation was not reaching any end point.

“Okay.” You wiped her snot with your sleeves as she clutched her broken arm in pain.

“Tom, talk to Sophia. She is not letting the doctors treat her.” Putting the phone on speaker, Tom’s voice filtered through the phone.

“Hey bubs. You need to let the doctor check you and make the boo boo alright.” His soothing voice brought tears to your eyes as you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand right now.

“It hurts. Back please?”

“I am coming back right now so you need to let the doctor check your arm. I will be there in no time.”

“Okay.” The moment the doctor started examining her arm, you took the phone from your mother in law.

“It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to come back.” You sniffled a little as the doctor got a portable x-ray to check up on Sophia’s arm. She held on to your hand tightly as even the little movement hurt her.

“I am. In fact, my flight is already confirmed. I will be there in four hours, tops.”

Tom declined the call as his manager called him downstairs. Getting in to the car, he just prayed to God that his little girl would be okay. He swore mentally that he would never let Sophia run. He should have been there and he was going to never leave his family’s side ever again.

“I have given her some pain meds for her pain so she should be settling down now.” Sophia was moved to a pediatric room and now she was calming down a little bit. “What color cast do you want, Miss Holland?”

“Pink.” She stated as a matter of fact and you lightly laughed. Nikki and Sam were in the room as well and they were staying till Tom got here. The pain medication slowly started working and Soph drifted off to sleep with Mr Fluffs in her arms.

“We are going to get coffee and then we can get you a change of clothes. Do you want something else?” Whispering, Nikki placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I am fine. I just need the clothes and can you please bring some for Tom as well. I know he would come straight here from the airport.”

“Okay, darling. Take care and call us if something happens.”

“Okay, thank you.” You put your head on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

Tom entered the hospital and the receptionist guided him towards Sophia’s room. Quietly steeping in there, he saw his two girls sleeping. Sophia looked so tiny in that patient bed and he never wanted to see her there. When he got close, he saw dried tears on his little girl’s cheek and his heart broke when he thought about the pain that she was in. The pink cast was set on her right arm and he want to her side and gently kissed it.

“I am so sorry baby, I wasn’t here. I won’t ever leave you again, I promise.”

“You are back.” The commotion in the room woke you up and you saw your husband right in front of you.

“Just got in.” Tom’s eyes never left the tiny human being laying underneath the sheets. “(Y/N), she is never running again.”

“Honey, children get hurt all the time. She will recover in no time.”

“But-”

“Dadda!” Your baby jumped in to his arms before any of you realised what was happening. Her cast bumped on to the iron rod of the bed and she let out a blood curling scream.

“Call the doctor. It’s okay, bubs. You are going to be okay.” Kissing her cast, he tried to calm down the crying toddler. Meantime, you went to call Dr Anna so that she could check Sophia’s arm.

“It is all fine. You just need to be really careful with that arm. We are going to keep her here for one day and then you both can take your little girl home.”

You took Sophia from your husband and told him to go change in to comfortable clothes. When he came back, you both settled on the small bed and your daughter told him all about the injury and the pain. You both signed her pink cast and Tom also drew some rainbows and birds on it. Soon, it was time for her to take her medicines and you had to bribe her with chocolates, She always got her way.

“I love you, baby. Go to sleep now.” He wrapped the blanket around her and switched off all the lights.

“Love you. Be here?”

“Yes, I will be here darling. Now, sleep.” Sophia soon drifted off to sleep and Tom sat beside you on the couch.

“I missed you, Tommy.”

“I missed you too and I am never leaving you both for this long. Now, let’s go to sleep. It has been a tiring day.” Pecking him on the lips, you both laid down and just basked in each other’s warmth. Contented, you drifted off to sleep with your husband and child in the same room. Everything was going to be okay.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I loved to write about Tom Holland as a family man. Tell me how you guys feel about it and I am open to requests regarding dad Tom. If you want to be added to my tag list, comment down below.

Like, comment and reblog.

._._._._.

[morizoras-cave]

Don’t Apologize (Request)

Sebastian Stan x gn!teen!co-star!reader, Anthony Mackie x gn!teen!co-star!reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: Hi🖐 Can I please request a cast x teen reader and there in an interview and she's quite shy and doesnt talk much and the interviewer knows that so they ask her all the questions but she cant and she starts to cry so the cast get angry or something. I love your writing♥️

Warnings: language, anxiety

(A/N): so sorry i didnt do this like i usually do my cast x readers, i only chose seb and anthony for this. i hope its still alright. and im back to requests again, although it’s been fun doing some of my own work (and also work with loz, that beautiful bastard) for a while :)

“See you later, Bryan.. If you know what I mean!” Anthony yelled after the last interviewer, as he shuffled out the room with his list of unanswered. You and Sebastian were cackling, wiping your tears. You’d lost track of how many interviews you’d had to sit through of Anthony talking about his ‘round brown’. 

“Oh my god, how many of these do we have left?” Sebastian asked, calming down finally, and running a hand through his hair. 

“Why? You have something you want to tell me?” Anthony joked accusingly, looking from Sebastian to you. You shook your head silently, hoping to not be dragged into one of their never ending discussions. 

“Don’t- Don’t drag me into your shit, Mackie,” you mumbled. A wheeze escaped Anthony at your shy mumble. “Why couldn’t they just have paired me with Elizabeth again?”

Before Anthony could begin joking and making you and Sebastian laugh again, another interviewer walked in. She looked uptight and collected, wearing professional clothing and holding rather official looking papers. 

“Hello, I’m Yolanda,” she greeted Sebastian with a toothpaste-smile, and shook his hand firmly, before doing the same to you and Anthony. She was intimidating, not casual or approachable, but someone who had their shit together. 

She seemed interested in you right from the start. In her first few questions, she’d always look directly at you while asking. Her sharp gaze was anxiety inducing, even more so than all the other interviewers. Sebastian and Anthony ended up answering for you though, knowing that you were shy and uncomfortable with people. Yolanda didn’t seem satisfied with this though.

“Y/n,” now she was addressing you directly, spitting your name from her mouth like poison, “would you say that this movie is in line with you and your coworkers’ character arcs?” 

You were sure you could answer it. Well, if you were at home, talking to your pillow. Right there you could feel your heart beating painfully against your ribcage. Both of the men on either side of you definitely heard the way your breathing picked up.

“Uh. Well. Yeah, to a- to a degree. Some of them,” you choked out. Pathetically, you realized you were blinking away tears. No one had noticed yet, thank goodness. What a stupid thing to cry about, you thought. 

“Do you think it aligns with the comics’ character arcs? Do you think it’s good to diverge from the original story?” She asked intensely, eyes still boring into yours. You kept your gaze at the floor sheepishly, picking at your nails. 

Sebastian looked down at your hands in your lap, and quickly grabbed one in his hold, preventing you from picking your fingers. 

“Um.. Well, I think- I think that there are a lot of, you know, um, storylines and arcs in the, uh, the comics, so staying canon could mean a- a lot of things,” when you finished your sentence, you breathed out in relief. Your entire torso seemed inhabited by a wild, unresting anxiety, tingling and aching. 

A single tear slid down your face, and you quickly rushed the hand that was not in Sebastian’s to wipe it away. This definitely did not go unnoticed. You immediately felt Sebastian squeeze your hand and Anthony putting his arm around you protectively. 

“What the damn hell, lady? You’re stressing them out!” Anthony boomed, gesturing wildly with his free hand. You looked up and saw Sebastian’s jaw clenched and brows furrowed. Anthony had a similar expression, you discovered when you turned to him, a frown prominent on his features, and intense eyes. 

“What’s your problem?” Sebastian yelled. The woman seemed taken aback, mouth agape and on her chest like she couldn’t believe that they thought this was her fault. 

“It’s not my fault they started crying!” she said. Her voice shook quietly, clenching her hands around the bottom of the chair she sat on. 

“Yeah, it is your fault!” Anthony said. Meanwhile, you sat there uncomfortably, shaking. She was right, you thought, it was your fault for being such a baby, she was just doing her job. 

“I’m- I’m sorry, it’s not your fault-” you begun, finally raising your head to meet the woman’s eyes. Her gaze made you tremble. She was bristling. 

“No, Y/n, don’t apologize. It is her fault.” Sebastian cut you off, squeezing your hand once more, encasing it in his two. Anthony nodded angrily. 

“Alright, I think it’s best if you leave.” Another woman, whom you recognized as Anthony’s publicist, came racing into the interview. She put her hands on her hips, and nodded towards the door sassily. 

The interviewer huffed, and gave you another furious look. “You’ll hear of this on my blog. The world will know!” Then she got up and away, stomping all the way out. You breathed a sigh of relief, the moment the door closed behind her. 

“Are you okay?” Sebastian immediately turned to you, searching your eyes again. His heart broke at the way you trembled. You nodded. 

“Man, that woman was an asshole!” Anthony, too, could feel the way you shook under his arm on your shoulders. “That was not your fault, she was just a dick!” 

“Agreed!” Sebastian scoffed, hands still holding yours. 

Anthony’s publicist studied you three for a moment, furrowing her brows and chewing her lips. Then she looked at the filming crew, and the back at you three. “How about we say we’re done for today?” 

You all looked up, “Really?”

“I’ll handle the marvel dudes. You guys just take the rest of the day off,” she smiled warmly at you, a caring look in her eyes. A grin stretched on your face. Anthony and Sebastian exchanged glances when they saw your face, smiling.

“Back to the hotel then!” Sebastian grunted as you all stood up. You left and drove back to the hotel, and when you got there you ate sandwiches and chips. After that the three of you played Mario Kart together (something you’d taught them, and they’d absolutely fallen in love with it). 

“Fuck you, Stan!” Anthony spat, doing a flip over Sebastian’s kart and getting into 3rd place. You giggled from your place on 1st. 

“Oh fuck, don’t do this, Mackie, don’t do this!”

“Adios, Amigo!” Anthony cackled, disappearing far in front of Sebastian. The latter threw his head back in defeat. The round ended, you crossing the finish line on first, Anthony on second and Sebastian on fourth. 

“That was a shitty round, I demand a rematch,” he said, sipping his water. Anthony scoffed and shook his head. You did too. 

“Hey, by the way, N/n?” Anthony was looking at you from his place beside you on the couch. You nodded questioningly. “You know that wasn’t your fault, right? What happened back there with that lady?” 

You grew quiet, heat rising to your cheeks. Sebastian had a look on his face. You guessed they had talked together, that they would bring it up with you again. 

“Because it wasn’t. It’s not your fault you feel this way. It was that lady who should have been more mindful of you and how you feel. She was clearly trying to take advantage of your timidness to make you spoil something,” Sebastian continued. He still seemed angry, actually, clenching his hand. 

“So don’t apologize for that stuff, alright? That ain’t on you,” Anthony patted your back. You looked at him and then Sebastian with a smile, and then nodded sheepishly. 

“Alright, yeah. I guess you’re right,” you said softly.

“Of course we’re right!” Anthony was (unsurprisingly) immediately back to normal, “now back to the game, kiddos. Sebastian wants a rematch, he’ll get one.”

And then you played Mario Kart together for an unspecified number of hours, the thought of that asshole interviewer long gone. You felt right at home, at number one in Mario Kart and number one in their hearts. 

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer @marvel-madness @40srogcrs @whatthefuckimbisexual @snarky–starky @garbage-potato @lozzypoz321 @allthecreativeonesaretaken @missamericana713 @rororo06 @shady80smusicsingercolor @ireadfanficforfun @deephideoutmilkshake @rae-is-typing @sophs-library @herecomesthewriterwitch @alicedanganh @eviemarvel @idk123906

[marvelousell]

The Agreement (Part 1.)

Pairing(s): frat boy!fwb!Tom x reader, frat boy!Harrison x reader

Summary: Tom is a typical frat boy, his love for partying, drinks and girls are bigger than his ego. Y/N is a whole different dimension, she keeps her circle small, and even though she knows her best friend Tom is a total douche, she can’t say no to the little deal that was sealed between the two of them.

Word count: 2k

A/N: ahhhh so this is my first series that I’m posting here! I’ve went for the fwb!au but I will do a mob one soon too. It will be full of angst, smut, friendship, love, heartbreak, absolutely everything. I hope that you all will like it, and I would appreciate it if you comment, reblog or send a feedback!🥰

Also my tag list is open for the series!

Warnings: mentions of smut, swearing

It was a Friday night and that meant party all night.

Well not for you.

You weren’t a party girl. Sure you went here and there on some frat parties with your friends, but every Friday? Hell no.

The Friday nights were reserved for a book and a cup of tea.

You were a shy one, you kept your circle small. Tom, Harry, Anna and Amelia.

You were a big bookworm, and hopeless romantic. A great duo for sure.

Sometimes you felt like an ugly duckling. Amelia and Anna were gorgeous and appealing brunettes, just like other college girls, but with a great personality. They were a whole package if you asked me.

You would say that you were an average looking girl. Nothing to special.

You just wanted a guy that would love you for who you are on the inside, not outside.

Too much books, I know.

“Maybe it’s time to head to bed.” You said to yourself, after you caught yourself overthinking, again.

-

“Jesus Christ.” You sighed, the doorbell waking you up.

It was 20 minutes past midnight, and you were now worried who is at the door at this time.

“Again?” You groaned, rubbing your eyes.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but I really needed a break.” Tom spoke, running his palm through his messy hair and massaging his scalp.

You motioned him to the living room, styling your hair that was sticking out everywhere, as much as possible.

“Great, I look like a zombie.” You murmured to yourself as you went to the couch where Tom was seated.

“Want anything to drink or something else?”

“Yeah…something strong?” He said, pushing his back flat on the couch.

“You know that I only have wine here.”

“It will do the job.”

-

“So..will you tell me what is tonight’s reason for your visit?” Your figure sat next to Tom’s, enjoying a late glass of wine as well.

“She saw me with Stassie today, so she went bonkers.”

Ah. Typical Tom.

Well let’s go back to the start shall we?

If you were honest, there was a lot, but still nothing to tell that wasn’t familiar to everyone.

Tom. Your typical frat boy.

Hot guy, astonishing body, soft curly brown hair followed with the dark brown eyes that had every girl drooling. His charming smile that he flashed to every single girl, covered up his conceited behaviour. Although he was a very charismatic person, he was a bit big-headed.

Did I say a bit? I meant a lot.

Parties were his scene. Tom loved the attention he got from the people almost immediately when he would enter the party place. Girls were basically throwing themselves on him, waiting for him to acknowledge them.

Tom was aware of the effect he had on the ladies, and he sure took advantage of that.

Every weekend there was a new one in his sheets.

He didn’t do feelings, some girls knew, some didn’t. So the morning after he would throw them out of his room half naked, all shattered and with the disgusting feeling that they were used.

He had a reputation, after all he was the most wanted boy out here, everyone’s dream was to become something to him.

Unfortunately no one had succeeded.

Did Tom say she a minute ago? Oh yes.

She was Sophie. And no, she wasn’t his girlfriend, but she sure didn’t think that way.

Sophie was your classic example of a girl that doesn’t understand the word no.

She was one of Tom’s flings, a beautiful, but fake girl. They got together at her 20th birthday party, it was just a one time drunk sex. Tom waited for her to feel asleep after a long session, so he could just go home and get at least a little amount of sleep.

However the next day at college, Sophie was like a limpet.

She didn’t let him breathe, even though Tom explained how he worked.

To be rejected or not interested in her was a unknown term for Sophie.

“Look, we shared a night, had sex and that’s all. It’s how I roll sweetie okay?” He desperately tried to get her off of his back.

“Tommy, I know how you do things, but you can’t lie about the chemistry. We just need to be together. And the sex is amazing.”

And that’s how it started.

Tom was loud and clear, not just with her, but with his friends and other ladies that she isn’t his girl, and never will be.

He really hoped that Sophie would let him be after a while, and she really did, but Tom just couldn’t keep it in his pants.

The Spring party.

Everyone got shit-faced, Tom was super turned on by a sweet brunette that clearly wasn’t interested in his lame flirting.

Sophie came in for a refill in the kitchen, but she was a godsend for Tom at that moment.

“Soph, sweetie mind if I get you a drink?”

“Thought you were clear about your feelings for me Tommy?” She answered, playing with the end of her dress.

“Yeah, yeah..How about I get you that drink, and we could catch up on things, ya know like old times?” He crossed his arms on purpose, flexing his biceps.

“I knew you would come back.” Sophie laughed, wrapping her slim arms around him.

It happened again. And Tom left like the last time, but once again Sophie didn’t get the message.

It became much more harder for him to avoid her, she was all over the place. She ruined his possible hookups, tried to meet his friends, brothers. It was getting on his last nerve, and even though he said that he doesn’t do relationships, she didn’t give up.

Sophie just wanted to be in the spotlight, and Tom was a great opportunity.

-

“Dear God. I told you that this lifestyle of yours would cost you. You should’ve refrain yourself for one night. Now you have a fake and crazy girl on your back, and no freedom as well.” You said, secretly eyeing him, he was hot you couldn’t lie.

“Thanks for not helping Y/N. Fucking hell I just want her to disappear, she is hundred percent crazy!”

“Why don’t you for once think rationally. Call her, take her for a coffee, tea whatever, sit down. Talk. Like normal people, tell her how things are, use your magic. But be nice and direct, she needs to get it in her head.” You tried your best to help him, after all he was your best friend and crush since preschool.

Stupid choice I know.

“I think so, but I wouldn’t be surprised that she spreads the news that I took her on a ‘date’, not a ‘can you please fuck off’ coffee.” Tom spoke clearly annoyed, filling up his empty glass.

He was tipsy already, and so were you. The wine absolutely did the job.

You were now nervous, your heart thumping against your ribs, the silence wasn’t an issue between the two of you, but tonight something was different.

“Why are you laughing?” You questioned, looking at Tom.

“Nothing darling, just remembered the day at elementary school.”

“Oh God. Which one?”

“You know, when you almost punched Elizabeth when she said I gave her a flower, and that I’m her best friend now.” He looked at you smiling like a child.

“Hey! You couldn’t blame me I loved you, you were my bestie I thought you betrayed me!” You stated, turning your body to his.

“Oh loved?” He grabbed his chest, trying to look hurt, but failing after a loud laugh escaped from his lips.

Your hand slapped his chest playfully, as an answer.

“This wine is crazy, I’m definitely going to consume it more.” He spoke.

“Well you for sure will if Sophie freaks out again.”

“New bottle?” You asked, standing up, your legs wobbly from the alcohol that was running in your system.

“Sure, it’s a long night after all.”

You tried to be as relaxed as you could be, but Tom’s presence tonight didn’t let you be.

Tom was also tense, the wine messed with his mind, he didn’t got laid for days, and the silky white shorts of yours didn’t help him at all.

You were in front of him, opening a bottle, but he just couldn’t control himself. His eyes were glued on your slim legs and tits.

He knew that under those hoodies that you wear on a daily basis was an incredible body.

Tom finded you attractive, absolutely stunning. He thought about you on his bed, whining for him, he really did wanted to have sex with you, but he couldn’t. You were his best friend and Tom didn’t want to hurt you.

But fucking hell. Tonight you were making him go nuts.

“I’m worn out.” You said exhaling the air.

“Live a little Y/N. Your nose is 24/7 in those books, give yourself a break, don’t be so boring.”

“Me boring? Oh excuse me that I don’t have such a dynamic life as yours.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hell yes you are, when was the last time you had sex?”

“What?!” Your cheeks were burning, and you couldn’t believe he asked you that. Sure you two had conversations about sex, but only about his sex life, and by that I mean who he slept with not how and where.

“You heard me, c’mon we’re friends you can tell me everything.”

Stupid Tom.

“Yes we are, but I would love to keep the informations about my sex life to myself.”

“So you’re a virgin?”

“TOM!” You almost chocked on the wine.

“Well?” He smirked, feeling how you got more and more shy from the conversation. God he wanted to fuck you so bad.

“No I’m not a virgin!”

“Then you can tell me when was the last time hm?”

“I don’t remember ok?! Jesus, the last time was probably the week before me and Noah broke up.” Your voice almost a whisper, realising that you were presumably too boring.

Tom just whistled the ‘wow that’s tooo long’ whistle, earning an annoying look from you.

“If it helps you I didn’t bang a girl for like a week, maybe more?” His answer turning into a question.

“Yeah, that helped me a lot, thanks Thomas.”

“Always here to help you.”

You once again slapped him playfully, but with the arm where your glass of wine was, spilling the beverage on his shirt and sweatpants.

Shit.

“Fuck, sorry! I’m drunk, I-shit.” Yes, you were absolutely drunk, because the sober Y/N wouldn’t try to dry Tom’s crotch with her hands.

Tom’s eyes opened widely. The feeling of your palm rubbing his now hard dick, speeded up his breathing.

Your knees were on the couch, and your body extremely close to his. You still didn’t have a clue what you were doing.

“If you’re gonna clean me up like this, I might spill some of this by myself darling.” He groaned, raising the glass in the air.

That was enough to send your mind to reality.

“OH GOD. I’m so sorry, oh my God this is so embarrassing right now.” You tried to sit back down, but Tom’s hands stopped you.

Before you could fall on the purple carpet in your living room, his grip brought you into his chest.

Your hands were on his thorax, his arms on your lower back.

“Shit, am I on his lap right now?! What the fuck is happening?” You thought inside your head. What a great situation to be in.

“You’re making me so hard now Y/N.”

You were speechless. This wasn’t happening.

“I think it’s a big shame that you don’t have any kind of relief after a long day.” He whispered in your ear, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo.

“Tom.” Your mind was hazy, you tried your best to resist this, but holy shit you wanted this since forever.

“How about I suggest something to you darling?”

[moldisgoodforyou]

telling the parents

from this ask: I wanna see Sophie’s mom FREAK when she realizes she’s bringing Rafe home because it seems like she basically always thought they’d work together/ already love him. Same with her dad!

also sorry for ignoring the prompts in my inbox but this is somewhat chronological and it was just too good to pass up goodbye back to my drafts I go

wordcount: 1.4k

_

“You’re sure it’s fine?” Rafe asked on the phone for probably the fifth time since Sophie invited him over for Thanksgiving. She sat in her bedroom at home in the Outer Banks, watching out the window for him to arrive. “Yes, Rafe, it’s fine. My mom’s been talking about my boyfriend for three straight days.” 

Rafe groaned. “Sophie, please tell me you told her it’s me.” 

“Ah.” 

“Sophie!” 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I just wanted to see their reaction, have a little fun with it. It’ll be fine, promise. Are you almost here?” She peeked through the blinds, seeing one of his dad’s cars - an expensive one, surely - roll down the street. “Yeah, I’ll be in your drive in thirty seconds. Come get me.” 

Sophie ran down the stairs, ignoring her mom’s call of Sophie! Quit stomping! and came out to the driveway to greet Rafe. She beamed, seeing his blue gingham collared shirt - her favorite color on him - and reached up on her toes to give him a kiss. “You wore the shirt.” He nodded and gave her a grin. “Yeah, your favorite right?” 

“Exactly. You remembered.” Sophie looked pleased, then tugged him down to her level by his collar. “Hey! What are you -” He scowled, ducking away when she messed up his hair. “No gel, Rafe, it looks better without.” He knocked her hand away, gently. “I want to impress your parents. For real.” 

“I told you, you don’t have to do that. The tailgate already proved they like you.” She took both his hands in hers, squeezing gently. “This is different, you know that.” He took a deep breath. “Ready?” 

“Ready.” She dropped his hands then led him inside. Her mom spotted them first. “Oh! Hi, Rafe. Sophie, you didn’t tell me you were bringing him, that would have been nice to know we had an extra guest coming.” She told her pointedly. Rafe furrowed his brow slightly, but offered a smile. “Hi Mrs. Flint. Thank you for having me.” 

“Always, dear. Sophie, tell your boyfriend he can’t be late, your dad has everything on a schedule.” 

“No, Mom -” Sophie started, but her words fell on deaf ears as her mother already made her way back to the kitchen. Rafe turned to her with a look and Sophie winced, then patted his cheek. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I should have said something.” He nodded. “Uh huh. When’s your boyfriend showing up?” She rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell them, I promise. She’s just distracted.” 

She took him into the living room where her brother, Carter, was watching football and made a point to sit needlessly close to Rafe on the couch. Carter glanced over, expression unreadable. “Who invited you, Cameron?” 

“I did. Don’t be an asshole.” Sophie told him pointedly, resting a hand on Rafe’s knee. Rafe sat up straight, doing his best to not touch Sophie. “Didn’t I talk to you about that?” Carter asked, eyes tracking their every move. She exhaled slowly, fixing him with a glare. “Can we not right now?” 

Her mom called her for help from the kitchen and Sophie stood, grabbing Rafe’s hand to tug him up. “No, hey, stay.” Carter interjected, directing his words to Rafe. “You’re being dumb, Carter -” Sophie started, frowning. 

Rafe, with two sisters himself, somewhat understood where Carter was coming from and he offered Sophie an easy smile. “I’ll come in soon. Go.” She paused, giving him a second chance, when her mom yelled out again. Rafe squeezed her hand. “It’s fine.” She was still hesitant, but left with a be nice aimed at Carter - and a little at Rafe. 

The two boys sat for a moment, eyes trained on the television, until Carter broke the silence. “You two are a thing for real now?” 

“Yeah, we - wait, now?” 

“You were seeing each other when she brought you to the tailgate. Right?” Carter questioned. 

Rafe paused, unsure of how exactly to answer the question. “Um, yeah. Kind of.” 

“Kind of?” 

“I don’t know what she told you, but yeah, we started hanging out when we got assigned as debate partners for a class.” 

“Hm.” Carter looked back to the TV, thinking. “You’re not going to make her cry like high school?” 

Rafe’s jaw dropped. “When did I make her cry?!” 

“A couple times, after you guys fought. But I’m pretty sure she was drunk.” Carter paused and with the way his brow knit together, Rafe could see the resemblance with Sophie in their expressions. “I don’t want to see her get hurt.” 

“I would never. I swear.” Rafe frowned. “Look, Carter, I think I’ve changed a lot since high school.” 

“Yeah, I should hope so.” Carter laughed a little and it broke the tension, Rafe’s shoulders relaxing just a bit. “Just know, if you do anything -” 

“I won’t.” Rafe promised, then hesitated, voice sincere. “I really care about her.” 

Carter nodded. “Okay. Good talk.” As he turned the volume up on the TV, Rafe took that as a signal and made his way to the kitchen. He stood next to Sophie where she sat at the kitchen island, fingers ghosting over the small of her back. “You survived.” Sophie teased quietly. “Yeah, I want to talk to you later.” Rafe murmured, then put on a smile as her dad came into the kitchen from outside. “Wait, what do you -” She started, but Rafe cut her off. “Mr. Flint, good to see you!” 

“Hey, kiddo. It’s Jeff, Mr. Flint is my dad.” Her dad grinned, leaning over the island to shake Rafe’s hand. “Didn’t know you were coming. Soph, when’s your boyfriend coming over?” 

“I already asked her, Jeff, she’s clueless.” Her mom interrupted, back to the couple as she chopped vegetables at the counter. 

“You wouldn’t let me answer, Mom.” Sophie corrected, amused. 

Rafe made a point to loop his arm around Sophie’s shoulders and place a subtle kiss on her temple. Her dad caught the gesture right away and looked wildly confused, pointing between the two of them. “Oh. Oh! Really? You two?” 

Sophie nodded, grinning. “There you go.” 

“I’ll be damned. When did that happen?” Her dad questioned. 

“Language.” Her mom reprimanded, turning around. “When did what happen?” 

“I tried to tell you earlier.” Sophie took Rafe’s hand and held their hands up, giving her a pointed glance. Her mom looked clueless for a moment, wheels turning. “Remember, Mom? Told you my boyfriend was coming over?” 

Rafe gave her an apologetic smile. “For what it’s worth, Mrs. Flint, I told her to be straightforward.” 

Her mom looked smug and turned to her dad. “Twenty dollars.” 

“What?!” Sophie exclaimed, shocked. Rafe laughed, squeezing Sophie’s hand. “You bet on us?” 

Mr. Flint was already grumbling, fishing the bill out of his pocket. “After the tailgate on parent’s weekend. Your mom swore something was going on between you two.” Her mom snatched the bill from her dad with a triumphant grin. “You’re not subtle, honey, you’d talk about him for a solid half hour after every fight you’ve ever had.” 

“Mom -” Sophie warned, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. 

“Remember that one time he made you cry? Oh, you swore you’d never talk to him again and then you were making plans for the next time you’d see him two minutes later -” 

“Mother!” 

Her mom laughed, shaking her head. Rafe pressed another kiss to her temple, murmuring I’m sorry quietly in her ear. 

“I shouldn’t be that surprised, I guess.” Her dad shrugged, accepting his defeat.

“What do you mean?” Rafe asked. 

Mr. Flint raised his eyebrows. “We ended up talking about Sophie half the time during your private golf lessons in high school, kid.” 

Sophie brightened, loving the way the tips of Rafe’s ears turned red when he was embarrassed. “Wait, tell me more.” 

“I don’t know if that’s really necessary -” He started, leaning into Sophie. She wrapped her arm around his waist, tugging him a little closer. “Oh no, I want all the stories. Apparently you’ve had a crush on me for ages.” 

“Two way street, Sophie.” Her mom chided. “I remember you were so upset when he asked your friend Ashley to that dance senior year, it was like the world was ending or something.” 

“Okay, okay! We get it. No more.” 

Her mom grinned at Rafe. “I have more. We can share later.” He laughed. “Deal.”

Sophie groaned. “I am never leaving you two alone together.” 

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 105

I’ve managed to get slightly ahead on these, so: A belated thank you to @littleshydragon, @dark-chocolat-cupcake, @overusedblur, and @allegrochicken for all the love I have seen blowing up my notes recently (I’m queuing this on Aug 25, even if it won’t post until Sept 8). 

Also, to the 30 new followers who I have somehow acquired: Welcome!  Ask box is always open, and I don’t get nearly enough of them.  I love to interact with y’all, so don’t be afraid to ask me every little question you think of as you read.  Anon is on if you feel you need that.

Other than that, thanks for this chapter goes out to @baelpenrose for beta reading.  Also @quantumizedinsanity, @charlylimph-blog, @wildforestferret, @creakingcryptid, for the characters you gave me to play with in chapters like this.

Later that same ‘day’, I was forcefully reminded of Noah’s observation regarding human communication.  Things were generally calm, and an impromptu family meal-snack-thing was happening in my quarters. Antoine had been over to visit, as he seemed to be making up for lost time caused by infiltrating Jokul’s accidental cult.  Zach and Hannah were over, as well, so when dinner time rolled around, I just threw together some small po-boy sandwiches and banh mi for us to snack on while we kept visiting, rather than making a full meal.

Hey, I was allowed lazy days, too.

As it happened sometimes, conversation turned to things we either did or didn’t miss from Before.  Tonight was very firmly in the ‘do not miss’ category.

“Plagues started by dumb experiments,” Maverick pointed out, smirking.

Catching on, Conor swatted him playfully. “I said I was sorry about that! And Else is an alright person, turns out.”

Snorting, Hannah covered her face with one hand. “Tell that to Nixe.”

“Her new tail is gorgeous,” I gushed. “If I got reparations like that, I’d at least consider forgiving someone.”

“For almost killing you?”

“It was an accident,” I brushed the comment off, reminded of explaining that gesture to Noah. “Besides, there are a lot of other things I genuinely don’t miss.”

“Aunt Flo,” Hannah intoned seriously.

“Tyche and I already did that one, so it’s not admissible,” I admonished. “But spoiled food? Do not miss.”

Zach shuddered. “Hell, that’s not even from Before. I don’t miss that at all.”

Antoine lifted his coffee in a mock-toast. “To all the people we lost to antibiotics.” After a few confused looks banded around the room, I laughed and waved at him to clarify. Rolling his eyes dramatically, he sighed. “Bread mold. This is why people died in the After of antibiotic allergies: they didn’t know it was derived from bread mold.”

“Dude, that’s dark,” Zach whispered.

Clearing his throat, Conor soldiered on. “I never lived through one, but wildfires were pretty bad, yeah?”

Nodding seriously, Maverick - who had lived on the western coast of NorthAm - added “Yeah, fuck THOSE things. Australia had it worse, but still.”

Raising her hand and waving it, Hannah started making eager noises to ask for her turn.  “Absolutely idiotic job requirements, am I right?” Nods abounded, and she took the opportunity to vent the spleen I hadn’t even guessed her to possess. “The number of jobs I didn’t get because I didn’t have a degree were absurd. I don’t even know why they even required them, for some!  I’m sure most of you had that happen.”

I kept my silence, but Conor was right behind her. “A Master’s in Engineering, to be a foreman.  You’re babysitting a bunch of knuckleheads pounding rebar and pouring concrete!  And they’ve had a decade of learning to do it right, I would’ve just been there to make sure it was compliant. And they wanted a Master’s for that!”

Hannah took a sip of her drink and nodded eagerly. “That’s what I’m talking about! There was a job I qualified for that was basically a glorified secretary… They wanted a four-year degree and paid peanuts. Absurd.  But I was unemployed for way more of my life than I should have been, because I didn’t have that piece of paper.”

Idly, Zach stared at his drink.  Like me, he had one of said-degrees, so this was something of a conversation we couldn’t really take part in. “I wonder how many Councillors we would have if those kind of requirements were put in place here.” Arching an eyebrow, he glanced up at me and inclined his head knowingly.

“Well,” I exhaled. “It depends. If they asked for a Master’s degree of any kind, I wouldn’t be a Councillor.” A thought struck me. “Hey - “

“No, Sophia, you cannot recommend that as a way to retire from the Council,” Antoine scolded with a laugh. “You would be grandfathered in with everyone else.”

The laughter broke the serious tone that had descended, and led to everyone speculating jovially, starting with Conor. “Well, we know Grey would still be a Councillor in that case - they admitted they had a PhD when Else was still getting sorted, rather than an MD.”

“Pretty sure Eino has a Master’s, at least,” Zach pointed.

Maverick shook his head, firmly disagreeing. “Doctorate in Education. I saw it on his wall. Don’t sell that one short.”

“So that’s two.” Hannah leaned forward eagerly. “Conor, what about Huynh?”

“Masters in Engineering,” he confirmed ruefully. “But he’s no PhD.”

“Pranav,” Zach interjected. “Post grad in robotics. Even worked on some of the Padrugoi mission stuff, early on.”

A respectful murmur filled the room, accompanied by appropriately impressed nods. Maverick had to actually shake the starstruck look out of his eyes before he could speak. “So that’s three PhDs, one Master’s, and a Bachelor’s on the Council. Not bad, honestly.”

Antoine cleared his throat politely. “Grey actually has two doctorates, if I am recalling correctly.”

I shook my head firmly. “Three. Biochemistry, genetics, and molecular chemistry.”

With a low whistle, Conor shook his head. “So, we have a clear leader as far as ‘most degrees on the Council’. Would Eino or Pranav be second, though?”

An argument erupted, and when it looked like Zach was about to say something, I shook my head. I knew the same thing he was about to point out, as a by-blow of fixing some of Derek’s more… enthusiastic shenanigans,  but I wanted to see if anyone would figure it out or even question it.  A solid half-hour later, Tyche arrived and scooped up a mini-sandwich before she even registered the conversation/argument taking place.

Whirling to face me, she pointed at the rest of the room and glared at me disdainfully. “Seriously? How long has this been going on?”

“Forty five minutes?” I admitted sheepishly. “Maybe an hour if you include the ‘what we don’t miss’ portion of the conversation.  But ‘degrees on the Council’ has been at least forty five minutes.”

“And you said fuck all?”

I shrugged. “I know it’s not me who has the most or even second most.  I have the least formal education of any Councillor.”

Tyche pinched the bridge of her nose and blew out a long breath. “Okay, everyone. What do you know so far?”

Without hesitation, Maverick rattled it off. “Grey has three doctorates, Eino has one and  a Master’s, it turns out. Pranav has one doctorate and a Bachelor’s. Huynh has a Master’s, and Sophia has a Bachelor’s.”

“And the Councillor you have left out?” she interrogated wearily, while Zach and I tried to restrain our laughter.

“Xiomara?” he asked, face scrunched in confusion. “She was career military, but I don’t know if she has any degrees. Maybe a Bachelor’s?”

Tyche shook her head, glaring again when I started gasping for breath. “Wrong. And you know what? Soph knew this, so I’m going to make her tell all of you. Like she should have. From the beginning.”

“Hey!” I cried, still giggling. “I was giving them a whole other 5 minutes before I broke the news. I just wanted to see if they would even question their reasoning.”  Antoine’s eyes got wide, sending me into another giggling fit. “None of you even mentioned the idea of Xiomara having any degree,” I gasped, almost in hysterics. “Mav was in the military, so I get that he just assumed she was busy as fuck, but… et tu, everyone?”

Hannah’s head turned slowly to stare down Zach. In self defense, he held up both hands with one pointing at me. “She told me not to say anything.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I did!”

Carefully, Conor slowly asked the question that was on everyone else’s minds. “Sophie? What’s so funny?”

Tears were pouring down my face at this point - not because I thought the situation was funny, because it wasn’t. Not really.  I was hysterical because I was so caught off guard that we still brought something like this with us. “I don’t know the real reason why nobody considered Xiomara, and I’m scared to ask at this point. I’m hoping it’s because she looks tough as hell and like the kind of person who would beat up highly educated people rather than be one.” Wiping a tear from my face, I glanced at Tyche. Her jaw was tight, clearly thinking the same things I was. “But the fact that she is the only other woman on the Council, that hurts, honestly.”

I took a few deep breaths to compose myself. “The fact is, Xiomara has five degrees. Five. Along with her military career. Tyche and I have to know this, since we handle staffing.” Counting on my fingers, I started ticking them off. “Two doctorates, one in international law and one in experimental economics - as in, yes, the calorie economy was her idea. A Master’s in military history, along with two Bachelor’s degrees: one in experimental chemistry and one in nuclear physics.” Shaking my head, I glanced at the shocked and guilty expressions in the room. “It isn’t three PhDs, but damn, y’all. The woman has five degrees!”

“How did she do that, and a military career, so young?” Maverick asked, his tone nothing but awed.

Antoine looked confused at the question. “My friend, how old do you think Xiomara is?”

He shrugged. “Sophie’s age? So, thirtyish?”

Conor poked him. “Mav. You know how old Sophie is.”

Maverick rolled his eyes. “Fine. So maybe forty? The whole healing stuff messes with me, I’ll be honest.”

Smiling, I cut him some slack. “Xiomara is just over ten years older than me,” I clarified.

Hannah’s eyes widened, and Zach looked like he had been punched in the gut. “So hot-scary-lady is fifty?” After Tyche and I nodded, he shook his head. “That’s still super-impressive for fifty. For seventy, even!” Zach shook his head. “Grey, I could understand. They seem like the type to just live for education, you know? But, Xio? I’ve known for a year and I still get dizzy thinking about it.”

“It does explain why she’s so intimidating,” Conor pointed out. When I opened my mouth to scold him, he held up one hand. “No! No. Doctorates have to be argued and defended, right? Plus one of those is in law. And she balanced a military career on top of all that. If I accomplished all that, people would look at me with respect and expect me to be a direct, take-no-prisoners kind of person.” He glanced at Antoine, who winced and nodded in confirmation. 

“She isn’t though,” I complained. “She’s a leader.”

“Definitely not ruthless, but she is intimidating to the general population,” Hannah pointed out gently. “That’s part of what Jokul was talking about, right? The Ark, as a whole, doesn’t get to see her get excited over her favorite foods, or pictures of baby pandas, or…. Cherries? Is it cherries she’s crazy for?”

“Pomegranate,” I corrected, begrudgingly.

“Pomegranate,” Hannah asserted. “They don’t get to see that. They get to see ‘hot-scary-lady who lays down the law’. Not ‘Xiomara who gets googly eyed when Parvati Fletcher wears that one violet shirt’.”

“Or hates plantains,” Tyche pointed out. “Which never made sense to me, because fried plantains are basically dessert with dinner.”

I started to giggle a bit. “It makes even less sense when you’ve seen her order coffee.” Tyche groaned, but more confused looks bounded about the room. Full out laughing, I explained. “She… she puts… maybe three ounces of coffee? Not espresso, just regular coffee… with what looks like a gallon - “ I snorted so hard it hurt my nose, but couldn’t stop. “Of milk! And sugar! Oh gods, she must put a cup of sugar in her coffee, I swear!”

Hannah and Zach exchanged glances, as did Conor and Maverick. Within seconds, the entire room erupted in laughter. “That?” Conor gasped. “That is hilarious….”

“I...I always thought… she took her coffee blacker than sin….” Zach wheezed. “And baby pandas?”

Sobering suddenly, I straightened and glared at the entire room. “OI!” I shouted. “Baby pandas are fucking cute, and if you don’t think so, you aren’t human, and I will ask Noah to do genetic testing to prove that.”

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[mywrittingwonderland]

She Comes First P.3 (Sophia x Shawn)

Part 1 Part 2  Masterlist Hello pretty people, I AM BACK! I can't believe I am finishing this! It has been a while, but hope you like it :) PS. Sorry for the mistakes, is 3am (I clearly can't write during the day as you may have already noticed...) Word count: 3,026 Warnings: Mentions of PR and anxiety.

- - - - - -

“Yeah, I know. Come here,” He said, referring to how bad her anxiety was at that moment, and how she was trying her best to not lose control completely. “I got you, It will be okay.” He hugged her tight one more time and made sure to keep his breathing steady.

“What-what if it doesn’t?” She stammered, trying to not start crying again.

“Well, then we figure out a plan B, together,” Shawn reassured her, knowing that she needed it.

“Okay.” She agreed and took some deep breaths with his help.

“What do you need now?” He asked after a while of breathing, and after he could no longer feel her heart racing against him.

“Can you just hold me a little bit more.” She asked, and he sited down on the floor, putting her on his lap.

“Of course.” He said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and taking a deep breath. They stayed in silence for some minutes, taking in the presence of one another.

“I am sorry.” She said after a while.

“Well, don’t be. You did nothing wrong”. He said, sincerely, she had a habit of over apologising after she had a mental breakdown, even though he didn’t mind taking care of her at all.

“I didn’t tell you the truth”. She said, looking down and playing with his fingers.

“Yeah, I am not very happy about that, but I get it”.

“You do?” She scrunched her face, and he nodded.

“Mhm, I do. But I want you to know that you can tell me anything.” He said, and she looked down. “Look at me, Boo. You know that, right?” He asked one more time. “Even if I have a lot going on, you are as much important as I am.” She nodded and let a tear go down her face, one that he quickly caught.

“I am so sorry,” She said, again taking a deep breath.

“It’s okay Love, do you want to get out of here and go back to the house?” He proposed, feeling the chilly wind coming from the outside.

“Let me just lock her up,” She said, getting up and going to lock Pinky back, she then turned to him and smiled, making him smile back instantly. He really missed her, especially when she was smiling.

“I can’t believe you are actually here.” She stated, and he giggled, grabbing her hand, pulling her closer. He caressed her face for a bit, taking in all the little details he loved, in her mouth, nose, cheeks, all his favourite parts.

“I thought you’re going to be very mad at me for being here, I was freaking out the entire way.” He said, stopping to touch her and letting her open her eyes again.

“I asked to be alone, but I don’t really want to be, I just didn’t want to bother you. And I wasn’t planning on breaking apart on a phone call, I was just going to call you in the morning and tell you that I missed my Grandma and I was staying here for a week.” She said, sincerely

“You, Miss Rose, do never bother me, never ever.” He said, middle naming her. “And I would never just let you alone after you asked to be alone crying because I know you.” He said, making her smile again.

“Thank you.”

“Always, Baby.”

They walked back to the house in silence but glued to each other. They did that a lot actually, not taking for a while, and letting their senses take over. Some days it was enough to simply feel each other’s presence.

“Oh, you are back, Shawn you should eat something.” Sophia’s Grandma said as soon as they entered the door.

“I…” He looked at Sophia as if asking if she was okay enough for him to go.

“It’s okay, Grandma is right. I will take a shower, go eat.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, turning to grab her hand and turning her to look at him, she nodded and gave him a peck on the lips. “Okay, I will be up in a bit,” He said, kissing her a little bit longer this time. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She said backwards and went up the stairs. She probably stayed in the shower longer than she should have, because when she came out Shawn was already there, in comfy clothes, and with her favourite snack waiting.

“Hi.” He smiled as soon as he saw her.

“Hi.”

“Brought you cookies and tea.” He stated happily. “Strawberry with vanilla seeds.”

“Thank you.” She said sincerely. Remembering something her mother told her once about the fact that you should marry someone that remembers your favourite tea flavour.

“Can I brush your hair?” She nodded and handled him her brush. His hands were soft while brushing her hair, way more delicate than he would play the guitar with, and it made her relax and close her eyes feeling loved. “So, I asked Andrew to finish up the PR.” He blurted after a while.

“What?” She opened her eyes and looked back at him, making him stop brushing her hair.

“Yeah, it is not really settled yet and probably I will still need to have some meetings about some stuff, but no more weird videos that I can promise.”

“Shawn, I am sorry,” She said, looking down.

“About what exactly?” He asked, gently pushing her chin up so she would look at him again.

“I didn’t want to cause…” He put his finger in her mouth, stopping her.

“You didn’t do anything, so don’t be sorry,” He said and give her a quick kiss on the lips. “I love you, so, so, so much,” He said before properly kissing her.

“I love you too.”

“I am so sorry I made you feel like you were alone in all this.” He said, brushing his nose in hers.

“It’s okay. You had a lot going on I didn’t want to just add more to that, and be the annoying girlfriend.” Sophia said, closing her eyes, something she did when she was saying something that she didn’t want to get too real.

“Stop, no. Look at me.” He asked and waited until she was looking inside his eyes before he continued. “It’s not okay, this is a 2-person relationship. And your life was going crazy, and you didn’t tell me anything.” He said gently, he was not mad at her, but he wishes she would have told him sooner what was going on.

“I am sorry.”

“I am not mad at you, I am mad at myself. Because something inside me was screaming that you were not okay, but then every time we talked, you had that beautiful smile on your face and something fun about your week to tell me. So I just thought I was going crazy because I was missing you too much.” He said sighting in the end.

“I know I should have said something, but I didn’t want to make things more complicated than they already were.” She said, trying to explain. He loved her for putting him first always, but he really needed her to understand that she also comes first to him.

“Soph… You come first, always. I know I have been doing a pretty shitty job on showing that lately, and I am sorry. But you will always come first. I love you so much, so much. And I don’t want you to be alone while your entire world is crumbling down at once.” He said brushing away a tear that fell down her face.

“And I love you back, but I also know that you are facing a lot already.” She said one more time, making him smile at her kindness, he was sure it was impossible to find a bigger heart than hers on this universe.

“Yeah, I am. And you are facing the exact same lot with me because I pulled you into my mess. But then you also have more than that lot. And you were doing it all by yourself.” He said, caressing her face and making her close her eyes again, to feel his touch better. “I don’t want you to feel alone, I need you to tell me things. The bad stuff too, don’t try to protect me from your problems, especially when they are so much bigger than a PR playing or being alone from my family on tour. It’s not like you are hiding a cold Baby girl.” He said, leaving in and kissing her temple.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s okay, I am here now. And we are getting you better. But please promise you will tell me even the smallest shitty thing in your day from now on like I broke my favourite pen or something.” He said, making her smile.

“I broke my favourite pen?”

“Yeah, I want to know that.” He said, making her giggle a bit, and he smiled as an automatic response. “Seriously Baby,” He said, still smiling.

“I promise.”

“Pinky promise?” He asked, showing her his pinky and waiting for her to intertwine hers in his.

“Pinky promise.”

“Now, do you want to talk about it? My sister told me the headlines, but I want you to tell me. If you feel like doing it now. If not that’s okay too, we could go downstairs and get some of your Grandma’s hot chocolate and more cookies.” He proposed.

“We can talk about it,” She said. She got the brush from his hand and put it on her nightstand before she sits in front of him with her legs crossed.

“Okay, first let me say... you declining universities broke my heart. And honestly, I am feeling very guilty about this one.” He started grabbing her hands and intertwining with his just to keep them closer.

“Don’t. I declined all the Toronto ones because I wouldn’t be there for the starting of it, but also because I applied to one in London and I got in, and I have been thinking about going there since I am a child, so I thought it would be good. How do you feel about living in London for 4 years?” She asked, biting her lips nervously, they had talked before, and he told her to choose, so of course he was not mad at her.

“I have always wanted to live in England to know more about your world, so let’s do this.” He said, smiling truthfully at her. “And congratulations, I am so proud of you! And I am so happy you did apply somewhere else too. And please never do that again, because I would have ended that PR ages ago if you had told me.” Shawn said, embracing Sophia on a tight hug and making them both fall on the bed, him on top of her.

“I know you would, but then Andrew would have hated me forever. Like he probably is now.” She said and noticed how he laid down by her side and looked at her before answering.

“No, he wouldn’t have, and he doesn’t. If he does, he is stupid.” He said, making her smile.

“Shawn!” She reprehended him, even though she was still smiling, and that was all he needed to know that he said the right thing.

“What? It’s true!” He said, brushing his nose on hers. “Look, he created this entire mess in the first place.”

“True.”

“Yep.” He gave her a peck on the nose before continuing. “Now he will deal with the fact that I am moving to London.”

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I know you love being close to your family and…” She said, going back to putting him first as always.

“And you are my family, so yeah.” He said, interrupting her.

“Seriously, though.”

“Oh, I am dead serious. I mean, of course, I love being close because most of the time I am very far. Still, we can go to Canada when you don’t have classes, and honestly, my entire family would kill me if I didn’t come. And I don’t want to be more away from you than I am already. Of course, there will be times that I will need to go to LA and stuff, but that’s just one flight away, it will just be a little bigger of a flight.”

“So do you really want to come?” She asked emphasising on the “really”.

“I really do. Did you think I was kidding when I told you to pick up wherever you wanted, and we would work it out?”

“No, but I was choosing Canada then.”

“And you changed your mind, and that’s okay.” He reassured her.

“You know moving countries is harder than it sounds like.”

“Yeah? Good thing we are in this together then!” He said, giving her a soft kiss before letting her continue.

“Flake died.”

“Liyah told me, how are you feeling about this?”

“I was sad, but then my brother was with me, and we both talked a lot about it. It helped.” She said, and he nodded, he could see that she was still not 100% fine, but that she was telling the truth. “It’s been almost a month now, it still feels weird, but I am okay, I think.”

“I am sorry he had to go, but I am sure he is jumping around up there as much as he used to jump with us.”

“Yeah, I am sure he is.” She said, giving him a smile, even though her eyes got a bit glossy again, and she let a tear run down her face.

“Maybe we can have a dog, I am not allergic anymore.” He proposed. “I mean I don’t want you to feel like I want to replace him, because I don’t…” He quickly tried to explain, even though that never really crossed her mind.

“Yeah, we could have one. But can we wait a little bit more?”

“Of course!” He said, kissing her forehead. “I missed you a lot, you know! Like so much, I thought I would go crazy.” He said, caressing her face gently.

“I missed you too, and I missed talking with you.” She said, making him smile.

“Good, because you Miss, are telling everything from now on.” He said, and she smiled for a second before she got serious again

“Grampa is sick.” She said, and took a deep breath before continuing. “He needs heart surgery.”

“When is he gonna have it?”

“He won’t, he doesn’t want to have it.” She said pouting at the end and letting more tears go down her face.

“Oh, I am so sorry baby,” He said, hugging her tight and letting some of his own tears go down his face this time.

“I don’t blame him, but I wish he would try.” She said, and he nodded still hugging her. “It’s up to him, though.”

“I wish none of this was happening.” He whispered.

“Me too, but we don’t really choose those things.” She said, trying to make him feel better, even though it was his job to do that for her at that time.

“Yeah, I will be here as long as you need me to be. And if you want to come to tour with me while you don’t start university, you can.” He said, loosing up on the hug and looking her in the eyes again just so he would know he is serious.

“Shawn, I don’t want to mess up things more than they are already.”

“You won’t because I told Andrew to end the PR.”

“Shawn...”

“No, Phi. I don’t want to do it anymore.” He said before she could tell him he should just finish it and that she didn’t want to bother his work “And you know how I figured I loved you?” He asked, and she shook her head no “It was when I started to feel love to you more than what I felt for music.”

“What are you talking about?”

“All I am saying is that. Music is my dream, the one I have always wanted, and then when you got into my life you messed me up, in a good way of course, but things shifted. It’s just you are the dream I have never dreamed of before. I would give up anything for you, and that is scary, because I really love music, but if I ever had to choose I wouldn’t even think about it for one second.” He said, closing his eyes and brushing his nose on her neck to smell her perfume. “I could definitely fall in love for another profession, but I wouldn’t find another you ever.” He said, looking inside her eyes. “So, yes I am ending this PR, it doesn’t really matter to me if I will have to pay someone, or if it would be some steps back. It doesn’t matter.”

“I love you so much, Mendes.”

“And I love you so much… Every inch of you” He said, kissing her all over her face making her giggle. They stayed quiet for some minutes, just breathing and taking the presence of each other before he talked again.

“Phi?”

“Mm?”

“Did you talked with your therapist about the anxiety?” He asked, he didn’t want to push her too much, but he needed to know that she did that because it was necessary.

“Yes”

“What did she say?”

“That I may need to go back with my meds for a while,” She said, opening her eyes and looking at his.

“How do you feel about that?” He asked, grabbing her right hand and plating a kiss on it.

“Like I have somewhat failed, it has been 4 years, you know.”

“You didn’t fail though, It’s okay to need help, we need different things in different moments of our lives. It doesn’t mean you failed Sweetheart.” He explained, trying to reason with her mind.

“I think you are right.”

“I know I am, and I will be here in every step of the way, just like you were there for me”.

- - - - - - - - - Send me a message to be added in the taglist ;) General Taglist: @arypesanchez @turtoix @ivegotparticulartaste @lanallaa   Shawn x Sophia Taglist: @shawn-youth 

[userarchive]

Unexpected Circumstances Ch 6

*not my gif* Warnings: Language, brief mention of death, brief mention of smut.

You stirred in your sleep, curling against Sonny tighter, wrapping around his body, humming in satisfaction. You felt his lips press against your head as you slowly opened your eyes, a smile braced your face as you reached up, stroking your fingers through his mussed up hair.

“Mornin’ sweetheart.” He looked down at you, that usual goofy grin on his face, you smiled back up at him, ever so happy to be wrapped in his arms.

“Morning.” You murmured, “How’d you sleep?” He leaned down, kissing your lips gently, 

“One helluva lot better with you here,” His nose took the time to snuggle against yours, causing you to quietly giggle, “I’ve missed this Soph…” Sonny started to pepper kisses across your face, causing you to laugh into his neck, trying to push against his tickles as he pulled you tighter against him.

“Sonny!” You managed to exclaim, pushing against him as he rolled you onto your back, that adorable face looking down on you.

“What doll?”  You stared up at him, a goofy smile on your face, god you had missed him so much, you pulled him against you into another kiss, your lips fitting perfectly against each other. Sonny hummed softly against you, his hands tracing the sides of your body, he pulled away from your mouth, trailing his down the side of your neck, biting into your pulse point, sucking at your sensitive skin. You swatted at his chest, pulling his face back to yours, kissing him softly. Carisi pulled up, stroking your face with his hand, thumb smoothly moving across your cheek, eyes full of adoration, “I love you.” He whispered quietly, a smile burst across your face, pulling him back to you for a chaste kiss.

“I love you too.” You murmured against his lips, a smile evident on his. Your lips found each other again, moving more passionately this time. Sonny’s tongue curled its way into your mouth as his hand cupped your core, your hips thrusting against him, begging for more friction. A loud blaring broke you out of the heat of the moment, your phone….fuck…you nipped Sonny’s neck as you pushed him off you, reaching over him to grab the offending device, 

“Montgomery.” You paused for a moment, “Which hospital?” You sighed heavily, “Okay, I’ll be there in 20.” You kissed Sonny deeply, puling him against you as you sat up, his lips smiled against yours. As you pulled away you groaned in realization. “Fuck…”

“What?”  Carisi quirked a brow at you,

“I worked yesterday..,.I can’t go in today in the same clothes, you and I both know how nosy Amanda is.” Sonny chuckled at that, shifting off the bed to dig through the back of his closet.

“Here” He tossed you a dark blue dress shirt, dotted with tiny white polka dots “It’s the smallest I’ve got.”

“Bless you.” You stood on your tip toes to kiss his cheek as you rummaged around finding and pulling on the rest of your clothes quickly. You rushed out of the bedroom, tucking the shirt into your dress pants as you grabbed the files you’d left amongst Sonny’s work stuff, shoving them in your bag. Saying a quick thank you to Sonny as he handed you your shield and gun, you kissed him quickly in the doorway, “I’ll see you later.” As you glanced back for another look you weren’t surprised to find him leant against the doorframe, ever so adorable dopey grin on his face.

***

You’d met Olivia at Mercy to try to talk to the vic while Amanda processed the crime scene with Fin, after various stops around Manhattan the squad had all returned back to the precinct to start going over various cases. You and Amanda were sitting at your desks finishing paper work from a few earlier cases, she’d taken in your appearance when you’d first walked into the squad room alongside Olivia. She noticed that your shirt seemed to be a bit too big…and she could have sworn it looked rather familiar, she also noticed the forming hickey on your neck that you had no idea was even there. You’d noticed her giving you a weird look earlier, she wasn’t dumb, she was a detective after all, you started to piece together a lie in your head as you worked. She smirked, figuring she’d ask you about your Sunday night over lunch.

“Hey, you have the Jackson files?” Amanda asked, as she couldn’t find them amongst her things.

“Yeah.” Your head ducked as you dug through your bag, pulling them out to pass to your partner. She muttered a thanks as she leafed through them.

“These are for the Thompson case…I could’ve sworn I dropped these off to Carisi yesterday.” You felt your body tense as you slowly raised your head from your paper work. 

“Weird… I—“ You were cut off by none other than Carisi himself as he appeared at the side of your desk, dropping the Jackson case files onto it.

“Found these in my stuff Soph, must’a grabbed the wrong ones.” You were 100% sure that your heart literally stopped beating in that moment. You and Sonny had only called each other by your last names around the rest of the squad, keeping your secret, well, exactly that, a secret. You also knew Amanda was quick to flare up, and you knew that there was some weird history between her and Carisi. Amanda’s brows furrowed, looking between the two of you,

“What’s goin’ on here?” She questioned, you could hear the irritability creeping up in her voice.

“Nothing.” You replied almost too quickly, “I was going over the case with Carisi at his office after work, must’ve grabbed the wrong stuff.”

“Really?!” Amanda’s voice started to alert Olivia in her office, “Cause you said you had a dinner to get to last night.” You heard Carisi huff beside you, “And that hickey is certainly telling a different story!” She definitely didn’t miss the lightning fast glare you shot Sonny, confirming that he was in fact the one leaving marks on your skin.

“Amanda…” You tried to trace together the words, your brain stumbling over itself, “It’s not what you’re thinking…”

“You sure?! Cause I’m thinkin’ maybe all that UC work may have rubbed off on you and you jumped into bed with our A.D.A. the first chance you could take advantage!”

“Rollins!” Finally Sonny found his voice, “It’s not like that!” He made a move to get closer to the blonde, causing you to stand from your chair, grabbing his arm to pull him back.

“Really?! Then what’s it like Carisi?!” The three of you were all on your feet and had gained the attention of the entire squad, Olivia moving out of her office to assess the situation.

“Hey!” Her shout pulled your attention out of the escalation, “Anyone want to explain why my detectives are fighting like children?” Amanda was the first to turn to her, gesturing between you and Sonny.

“Did you know these two were sleeping together?” Benson glanced between you, an eyebrow cocked, you dropped your head, running your hands over your face while Carisi fidgeted awkwardly

“Something you need to disclose?” Her Captain mode fully activated, a relationship between a detective and an A.D.A. was tricky, and had potential to even get cases thrown out. 

“No.” Sonny stated simply,

“You sure about that?” Olivia replied, she knew how this worked, and the last thing she wanted was a perp getting away with something because Buchanan was able to use a fling between coworkers to clear a trial. You sighed heavily, gaining eye contact with your Captain.

“We disclosed nine years ago….” That certainly gained the attention of the room, everyone frozen in surprise. You watched as the expression on Benson’s face change as the wheels turned, slowly putting things together from what you’d told her your first day at SVU.

“What?” Amanda couldn’t wrap her brain around what was happening right now, how in the hell did this happen? How had neither of you, both of whom were her partner at one point, and Sonny who she’d known for 7 years had never mentioned anything. 

“Sophie’s my wife….” Carisi quietly mentioned, bringing another round of shock through the room, but it was Fin who called across the room to you.

“You’re no 34B.” You turned to Sonny, brow quirked,

“34B?” His hands shot up in defence,

“I thought you were dead!”

“WHAT?!” It came from Amanda again, the anger that had cut through the air in the room dissipated to confusion and surprise from everyone. Before you could start to explain your history, you could feel Olivia’s gaze on you, so you turned to her first,

“The disclosure should’ve been in my jacket, it’s all there.”

“I never got your jacket…I got the transfer form from Campbell that was it.”

“I bet you did get a jacket labelled Carisi, S  about a year ago that you figured was a double of Sonny’s?” Liv let out a huff, realizing her mistake, nodding to you.

“Okay, wait….” Kat began, “Can we please rewind back to the whole you being dead thing?” You let out a exasperated sigh, leaning against the side of your desk, gearing yourself up.

“I was at Staten Island Vice, they’d caught wind about the sex/drug ring with Alejandro Martinez and wanted to send someone in. I’d been doing UC work with them since I was in the academy, so it was an obvious choice. Problem being that they claimed it needed to be completely legit, not a single hole in my story, not a feather of evidence that would link to me being a cop and absolutely no contact with the outside world.” You took a breath, “They had me delete practically all of my social media, had TARU wipe everything from the internet that they could, and then they said they needed to fake my death.” You spared a glance to Carisi, a world of apologies written in your eyes, he gave you a small smile, you’d already had this conversation with him of course, “The shock was when they told me the date….They said the ring was looking for a new recruit and my only level of entry was that upcoming Saturday…”

“Which happened to be our wedding day…” Sonny cut in at that point, filling in the blank you hated having to admit.

“Oh my god.” Liv knew there was history between you, but had never imagined something as insane as this.

“They were at least kind enough to wait until after the ceremony…” You said that part bitterly, Vice claimed that the more witnesses to your ‘death’ the better, you’d been pissed about it ever since, and were honestly more than happy to be transferred out of the unit.

“That’s cold.” Fin commented,

“Yeah…can’t say the reception was very lively…” Sonny reacted, you reached out, squeezing his elbow in reassurance, 

“I’m sorry…” It was barely above a whisper, meant only for Dominick, you turned to Amanda, “So…yeah…I am sleeping with the A.D.A.” She let out a light laugh at your comment, 

“Hey, I’m…sorry for the way I reacted…that wasn’t cool. Even if it was just a hook up I was outta line.” She apologized softly, you smiled across at her.

“So…we’re good?” Olivia hesitantly asked from her position outside her office, everyone nodded, agreeing that things were okay, “Good. Because our vic’s ready to talk, Rollins, Montgomery, go.” You both nodded, grabbing your coats before you headed out into the streets.

You were happy the air was cleared, and VERY thankful it at least came out after you & Sonny had had a chance to figure things out yourselves. There was still a long road ahead to get back to where you were and you both knew that, but at least this way you weren’t holding any secrets back from your squad. You imagined Amanda was going to grill you for practically every last detail on your drive to Mercy, so you braced yourself. 

[ericsonclan]

When All is Muddled, Follow Your Heart

Summary: Sophie continues to have inner turmoil over her decision whether to stay with the Ericson pirates or live with Minnie. Until one day when she finally makes her choice...

Word Count: 4756

Read on AO3:

Sophie stared at the sky. It felt as though it was one of the only places to escape around here. She could feel the tension around her as she sat above decks. That fight that broke out a few days ago had left a bad taste in her mouth and the aura of feuding was still in the air. No one who was opposed to her staying with Minnie had said much of anything over the last few days. But it wasn’t like those for it were much better, always trying to be reassuring and give good reasons behind their thinking. It only made it worse for Sophie. She felt as though her mind could explode from the conflict inside it.

Her blue eyes glanced over at Mitch and Willy who were in the middle of carrying some boxes when Tenn and Violet walked by. Not much was said between the two sides but their looks made it clear that this decision had split the street rats. Sophie let her head fall and land on her knees. She hated this. She really truly did. Tilting her head to the side, Sophie began to focus on her thumb braces, her fingers fidgeting with them as her mind trailed onwards, stuck on this path. She felt trapped in between the two sides and there was no good place to think. Sitting above decks was awkward but below decks was just as tense as here. Going into Halverport wasn’t an option either since she’d feel pressure from Minnie.

The redheaded pirate’s mind traveled back to a memory from a few days ago, to the time she met with Minnie for a second time. Meeting with Minnie again went about as well as it could’ve. Sophie told her she needed a bit more time and luckily Minnie was understanding, telling Sophie to take all the time she needed, but Sophie could tell that her sister was sad. It was obvious that Minnie wanted Sophie to have chosen the option to stay with her right away. How could she though when she would be leaving a crew that saved her life, that had become like family to her? Sophie glanced over to where the street rat kids continued to work. She would be leaving them behind too. They had always had her back, risking their own multiple times to save hers. She would be an ungrateful person if she left them, right?

Can’t focus on that. Just take a breath and focus on the sketch. Sophie lifted her head up and grabbed her sketchbook and pencil. Her fingers struggled for a minute before gripping it firmly. Sophie remained silent, her eyes deeply focused on the page when suddenly her hand shook slightly, causing a line to veer off. She’d ruined the whole sketch in a single mistake.

“Shit.” She whispered under her breath, crumpling the paper before tossing it aside. “Shit… Stupid.. Why can’t I…” Sophie curled her fist for a moment then let the tension slip free. The redhead’s face fell as she looked down at the deck. Why can’t I decide? It should be easy. You chose family. That was always the right answer. The pirate’s frown deepened in annoyance at the fact that it could be argued that both sides were that to her.

With a quick flick of her wrist she moved to the next blank page. Looking around the deck, she tried to find a good subject for the sketch. Not a crewmember, not a feature of the ship… maybe…

Sophie began to draw, the world around her disappearing as she sketched her subject. Her pencil scratched and ran across the paper as she continued to get lost in her art.

“Hey, Soph. How’s it going?” A warm, familiar voice called out to her, breaking her escape and pulling her back into reality. Sophie glanced up and saw Marlon who gave a quick wave as he made his way over to her, Rosie in tow. The pitbull’s tail wagged faster at the sight of Sophie and she began to run over towards the redhead. The pirate gave a soft chuckle as the dog licked her fingers, making her put down her notebook for a minute to give Rosie some attention. “Mind if I join you?” The blond pirate asked with a calming smile.

“Yeah, sure. I’m just sketching or at least trying to.” An annoyed sigh left Sophie’s lips as she looked at her art. It looked awful. Marlon silently took his spot beside her while Rosie lay down between them. Sophie gave a few head scratches to her before resuming her drawing. She felt the tension around her decrease even if it was just a little bit. Marlon had such a calming presence to him that in this moment it felt like a small life raft for Sophie.

“So that fight a couple days ago was crazy, huh?” Marlon looked over at her sympathetically. “I didn’t think the argument would bleed over to dinnertime that night and the next night and wel..l.” Marlon paused for a second, clearly choosing his words carefully, “I thought you could use a friend right now.”

Rosie raised her head and looked over at Marlon who gave a small laugh before patting her head. “Sorry, two friends,” His words seem to please the pitbull who placed her head back down onto the deck and resumed taking in the warm sun rays.

“Yeah.” Sophie’s voice drew Marlon’s attention back to the redhead. “Everyone’s made it pretty clear where they stand.” Her voice became tight and shallow. “Those who spoke up later on said the same things that were brought up in the fight earlier. Some new words were added into their argument but it was all the same. AJ thinks that we can’t trust anyone who would hurt our friends. I get it. He’s just a kid and with how much Minnie has hurt this crew and his family...” Sophie shook her head and continued. “Omar just wants us to do what’s best for us. ‘Whatever decision you make I’ll respect.’” Sophie’s fingers wandered over to her sketchbook and she began to tear out the page. “Aasim says there’s a third option. To go with you guys, sail the seven seas, be a pirate and visit Minnie every so often.” Sophie let out a long sigh as she stared down at her torn sketch.

“And what do you think?” Marlon glanced over at his best friend, his eyes searching hers.

“I’m not sure.” Sophie shook her head. “Both sides have valid points, but those two sides are clashing inside me. I don’t know if I would be going out of obligation for my family or it’s what I really want.” Her voice was a bit shaky as she looked down again. “I love this crew - we’ve been through a lot together. Through thick and thin. But I also love my family and it’s not fair to not give her another chance.” Sophie groaned, crumpling the page before placing it beside her.

“Minnie hurt us but she also helped us. She fought off Lilly and nearly gave up her life doing so. Prisha, Brody, Tenn, Mitch, Willy, me - we owe her our lives. But on the other hand she's tainted and hurt us in ways that are unforgivable. I don’t expect anyone on this crew to fully forgive her, but I also can’t turn a blind eye to the good she did. Or the good I know that's still inside her, that I saw that day on the Delta ship and when I met with her again. I know she is good. Maybe if Tenn and I were to stay we could help Minnie heal in ways she can’t alone. Or maybe that's too hopeful and being there would just bring up all the worst memories of her trauma.” The last part of the sentence seemed to sadden the redheaded pirate deeply. Sophie took a breath then glanced up and gave a smile for a split second before it faded. “But does the good that could come of this outweigh everything else?” She returned to her next attempt at a decent sketch. Silence settled in between the pair as Rosie gave soft snores, basking in the sunlight. “What do you think? You must have an opinion on this.” Sophie looked over at her friend. He had been mostly silent for days now; each time he was brought into the argument he would avoid answering. Marlon froze at her question, unsure of what to answer. The silence overtook the pair with only the sound of a pencil sketching on a page as Sophie tried to patiently wait for him to answer.

“As selfish as it might sound, I want you to stay. I really enjoy having you on Ol’ Kickass and sailing the seven seas together.” His words caused Sophie to look up. His face was sad as his eyes connected with hers. “But,” the blond took a moment to take a deep breath before continuing, “I also think that you should take this chance. You’ve been through so much Sophie, more than anyone should have to go through, and you’ve survived. But you have a lot weighing down your heart. I think if you go with your sister and Tenn, you could heal in ways that you just can’t on this ship.” He looked down, taking a shaky breath before looking back at her. “I don’t want you to hold onto a pain that could eat away at you when you had a chance to heal it. Plus,” he let out a tiny sniffle before smiling. “We can come to visit. This won’t be the last time you see the Ericson pirates.”

Sophie’s eyes grew in surprise, dancing with the emotions that were clashing within her heart. The redhead studied his face for a few seconds then closed her sketchbook. “Thanks, Marlon.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a warm smile before standing up. Walking away, she made her way down to the sleeping quarters. She had a lot to think about. What was right or wrong from a moral standpoint wasn’t the right approach. She had to pick her choice with her heart: whether it would be best for her and Tenn and Minnie.  

-----

Almost a week passed before Sophie had made up her mind. Knowing her decision, she asked Louis to call together the crew. They all gathered around; the anticipation and tension covered the air in a way that was only broken once Sophie spoke up. Summoning all her courage, the redhead looked at the deck for a few more seconds then up at her pirate family.

“Tenn and I are staying. We’re going to live with Minnie.” Sophie’s voice was calm and confident.

Whispers broke out amongst the crew as their different opinions started to clash once more before their voices got louder. Louis strode forward, placing one hand on Tenn’s shoulder and the other on Sophie’s. “Good for you guys! If this is what you really want, we’ll support you! Right?” He looked over at his crew, sharing a silent conversation. It would be better to be supportive and hold onto the connection than let their differing opinions and bitterness taint precious friendships. The crew nodded and Louis quickly ran forward and spun around. “I think you should let Minerva know the good news! In fact, why don’t you leave your chores to us and enjoy a day with her?”

Sophie stared at him. Something felt fishy but she couldn’t place it. What was Louis up to? She was drawn away from her thoughts, however, when Tenn grabbed her hand. “Come on, Sophie. Let’s go.”

“Okay.” Sophie smiled over at him. “We’ll be back by the evening.” With that the pair of siblings were off. Tenn talked excitedly with his sister, a genuine, calm smile was on his face as he swayed their joined hands back and forth. Sophie looked over at him, smiling and talking softly as they walked along.

Louis waved goodbye until they were far away before he spun around. “Are we ready?” His brown eyes searched those of his crew who were showing a variety of emotions. Willy and Mitch looked bitterly sad while others looked more worried than anything else. “Everyone agreed if they chose to stay here with Minerva we would buy them a place.” Louis stated. “It’s the least we can do for family. But we’re a little short on coin right now, so...”  A smile appeared on the captain’s lips as he reached a hand into his coat before producing a paper. It was a wrinkly quest page that held a picture of what looked to be a fearsome beast. “Who’s ready to hunt a giant sea monster!”

His excitement was met with mixed responses. The crew silently dispersed to prepare for the quest. They set off to a nearby island that held two palm trees that gave just enough shade for the wandering crabs on the miniscule beach. Prisha and Aasim went over the plan one last time with the crew before Mitch and Willy double-checked their bomb stash. Once they had arrived there they were set to attack but the waves were calm and silent, no monster in sight.

“Do you agree with the choice?” Prisha asked Clementine who was busy readjusting the sheath on her hip. Clem glanced over at her friend whose feelings on the matter were clear on her face.

“It’s not my place to judge,” Clementine leaned her hands on the side of the ship. She didn’t have to look to know that Prisha was upset that she didn’t delve into the subject or chose her side. “Tenn and Sophie have made their choice.” A moment passed between the pair of friends when Clementine opened her mouth again. “I am going to miss them though,” Her voice grew tighter on those words.

Prisha joined her friend and looked out at the clear blue water. “As will I,” She glanced back at Violet who was arguing with Mitch over something. Prisha’s expression grew more serious at the sight.

“They’ll be fine,” Clementine’s words made Prisha look over her way. “They’re just processing it.”

“They shouldn’t have to,” Prisha didn’t wait and went off to talk to Aasim one last time to double-check the plan.

“Prisha’s in a mood,” Louis’ voice drew Clem’s attention over to her love who had taken his place beside her. “I get it. I do. I think it will just take some time for the crew to accept their decision.” Louis looked around.

Brody seemed a bit out of it while Ruby walked beside her, trying to brighten up her friend’s mood. Marlon strolled by with Rosie, his eyes unfocused while his mind spun with conflicting thoughts. Clem was about to speak up and ask Louis what his thoughts were on the matter when the water started to churn and swirl before them. Slowly the waves rocked Ol’ Kickass back and forth as a sea monster emerged from the watery depths. Its red eyes burned into the souls of the pirates as its deep blue tongue slithered and aquamarine oozes seeped from its shiny scales. A high pitched, unnerving cry left its fanged mouth that made the crew cover their ears.

“Everyone, man your stations!” Louis called out and the Ericson pirates ran to their spots to prepare for battle. Clem, Prisha and Brody were in the front to act as distractions as they sent meaningless attacks to draw the attention of the monster. Brody threw small noisemakers Mitch had given her while Clementine slashed out her sword, scraping uselessly against the scales. Anytime either of them got their timing wrong, Prisha moved in to block a harsh attack from the beast’s tail. All this was to buy time for the others. Violet and Aasim worked together to set up the spot for Mitch and Willy as they placed their bombs in their pockets.

“Let’s do this for Sophie and Tenn,” Mitch looked over at Willy who gave a short, determined nod. Giving the signal, Louis began to shoot off cannonballs alongside Marlon and Omar. The impact of the shots did a fair amount of damage to the sea creature who hissed in pain and annoyance. Its shiny scales cracked and fell into the ocean as it swam closer to the cannons.

“Now!” Violet snapped and Mitch nodded, wrapping his arm around Willy and grabbing a rope in his free hand before he kicked a lever that sent them flying in the air. The pair landed on the ship’s bow and they began to sprint forward. Both grabbed onto ropes and swung down upon the monster. Mitch landed with an angry cry, digging his dagger deep into one of the sea monster’s eyes. His face and shirt became coated with eye juices while the creature hissed and squirmed in pain. Willy landed hard, embedding his knife into the other eye and completely blinding the sea monster. The two smiled at each other when they saw that the creature’s mouth was now open. Both of them took out a bomb and lit it before clinking them together and tossing them down the sea monster’s mouth.

“Hey, dumbasses! Haul ass!” Violet called out to them. Willy and Mitch nodded then proceeded to dive into the water. They had barely made it a few feet away when the bombs exploded, causing a pillar of smoke to leave the sea creature’s mouth and nostrils. It gave a hollow sound and collapsed, its body falling back and landing partially on the tiny island. The explosion and collapse of the creature made the ship tilt this way and that but soon the seas calmed.

The crew made their way over to the slimy corpse and stared at it. No one gave the usual victory cheers and congratulations that usually followed completing a quest. Only Louis seemed to try but grew silent when Willy let out an annoyed grunt and kicked the dead monster. Mitch walked forward and harshly jammed his knife into the neck of the creature.

“Stupid fucking… damn piece of…” Mitch grumbled with frustration.

“Let me help,” Prisha didn’t bother to wait for confirmation and began to work at cutting off the monster’s head as proof of their success. The crew stared at the massive head then began to work together to carry it onboard then silently began to prepare to sail back to Halverport.

“The bounty on this piece of shit should be enough to buy a pretty nice place.” Mitch mumbled as he worked to carry the head off the ship with Violet and Marlon.

“With the rest of our money it should.” Aasim added as he held open the door for them.

“Come on, guys! We don’t have much time!” Brody called out as she waved them over towards the person who had posted the quest. After a long talk with the quest giver who seemed shocked that they had returned alive and a very persuasive argument that Prisha and Clementine had with him to actually pay what he had promised, they got the reward money.

“Let’s buy them the most beautiful cottage.” Ruby smiled brightly at her crew who all gave short nods, small smiles on some of their faces.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see their faces when they see it.” Omar replied, smiling softly as he walked alongside Aasim and Clementine.

“Alright, but let’s keep it a secret! We’ll buy the place today,” Louis exclaimed. “Then when tomorrow rolls around we can show Sophie and Tenn their new cottage home!”

The crew nodded in agreement and went back to Ol’ Kickass. They had all promised to push aside their feelings for the final night with Sophie and Tenn.

Instead they kept the conversation at dinner focused on the greatest adventures of Sophie and Tenn, celebrating the two pirates that had grown to mean so much to them. Each crew member went around telling their own favorite tale of the two siblings. The deck was filled with laughter and applause as the stories were told. Tenn laughed and smiled softly as WIlly and AJ got into a heated competition over who could tell the best story of Tenn while the others seemed focused on outmatching the last crew member with a tale of Sophie. Sophie smiled at the sight, her heart filled with warmth at the kindness of the crew she loved. Her hand gently petted Garbage who slept on her lap before Sophie gave Rosie a few head scratches. Tears began to prick her eyes as she glanced away at the open seas so the others wouldn’t see. She really would miss them dearly.

Sophie had no idea what the crew was planning as they led her and Tenn through the town. Willy and Aj jumped excitedly, pulling the pair of siblings along. Both of them were clearly caught up in whatever surprise awaited them at the end of this walk.The others smiled, obviously bursting with anticipation for whatever lay in store. They continued upwards towards a secluded spot by the sea. Right before they reached the top of the hill Louis called for everybody to pause.

“Alright, now close your eyes.” Louis instructed the siblings. Sophie and Tenn obeyed, letting the other pirates guide them the rest of the way up the hill. “On the count of three, open them. Ready?”

Sophie and Tenn nodded, their joined hands squeezing tighter together as they nervously awaited the surprise.

“1… 2…. 3!!!” The crew yelled.

Sophie felt her jaw drop at the sight in front of her. There standing before her was a small rustic cottage with a blue rooftop. Its simple brown door held a sign with the three siblings' names on it. It was obvious that the inscription had been rushed and done with a rather dirty knife. But still the sentiment behind it made Sophie let out a gasp as tears fell down her face. Tenn looked up at her with a smile, his own face wet with tears.

“You guys did all this for us?” Sophie’s voice cracked with emotion.

“Of course we did! You’re family!” Louis gave a bright smile toward his friends.

“Do you like it?” Willy looked up nervously. Sophie looked at the teen with a big smile. To think that all of them would do this for her and Tenn even after the decision they made and the fact that they were leaving. The depth of the love the Ericson pirates had was clear.

“I love it!” Sophie swept Willy up in a hug before Tenn joined in. Soon the rest of the street rat kids hopped in as well. Sophie’s body shook with emotion as tears ran freely down her face “I’ll miss you guys so much.”

“We’ll be back to visit.” Violet looked at her childhood friend with a small smile.

“No shit, Vi. Of course we’re visiting!” Mitch glanced over with a smirk. “Only way we’re letting them leave is with the promise of visits!” Violet let out a sigh, rolling her eyes good naturedly at him. Sophie let out a small laugh. After a few minutes Sophie and Tenn let go of the group hug and went around to say goodbye to the members of the crew. Ruby was the first to run up and hug Sophie.

“You be safe now. Just know that you can always count on us.” Ruby grabbed Sophie’s hands as she smiled at her. Sophie felt tears prick at her eyes.

“Thanks, Ruby. You were always so kind to me from the very first day we met. I can never thank you enough for that.”

“Aww, Sug, you don’t have to thank me for anything.” The two smiled at each other before they heard footsteps running up towards them.

“Sophie!” Brody called out as she walked through the group, apologizing as she bumped passed some of the crew members. “We’ll be back to visit soon, okay? Those swords… make sure you keep them on hand.” Brody’s voice took on a more serious note before a happy smile overtook her face. “I’m really gonna miss you on the ship. You and Tenn.”

The two girls glanced over to see Tenn saying goodbye to Omar, handing over a sketch to the cook who looked truly touched by the gift. Tenn was about to speak up when Willy and AJ appeared again to say what was surely the first of many final goodbyes. Brody and Sophie laughed before looking back at each other. “Point is you’ve always got a family on the seven seas.” Brody’s voice shook a bit with emotion as she tried to hold back tears.

“We’ll see each other again. When we do we can sit outside and talk about the adventures we had. Although I’m sure mine will be a little different now.” Sophie paused as she noticed  Violet and Mitch making their way towards her.

“Brodes,” Mitch looked over at the auburn pirate who gave a short nod before hugging Sophie and going off to say goodbye to Tenn. Sophie stood there with Mitch and Violet, none of them talking for a few moments. They all seemed unsure exactly how to start this.

“We’ll be back,” Violet’s pale green eyes looked over at her friend. “I know it will be tough and shit but this isn’t goodbye, at least not forever, because our hearts are connected… shit, that sounded dumb,” Violet shook her head in annoynace.

“Of fucking course we’ll visit. The street rat kids are never truly separated. Fate tried to fuck with us once and we’re still alive and kicking. No matter what, we're family!” Mitch grinned at Sophie who gave a bright smile and whacked her heart with her fist.

“Family till the day we land in Davy Jones’ Locker!” Sophie looked at her two friends before spitting in her hand. “We’ll meet again, make it a street rat promise.” Violet and Mitch stared at Sophie’s hand before spitting in their own. They each shook each other's hands then wrapped each other in a group hug. The three remained in that moment for a long time before Sophie noticed Marlon walking forward. He shifted his weight a bit.

“Vi, Mitch. Can I have a turn?” His voice sounded nervous.

“Sure,” Violet and Mitch gave Sophie a final wave and made their way over to Tenn for their final goodbye.

“I… umm…. I’m really going to miss you.” Marlon’s eyes were watery as he looked away. Sophie was shocked; she had rarely seen Marlon cry before. The sight of seeing her best friend crying made her own eyes start to tear up. She had been trying to hold it together for the most part and not cry at every goodbye, but one by one they added up until now when she couldn’t hold tears back anymore.

“I’m going to miss you too.” She gave a sad smile as the tears ran down her face.

Marlon looked over the redheaded pirate and returned the smile. “I’ll be back before you know it!” he exclaimed. “Counting down the days until then!”

“I can’t wait.” The two looked at each other for a moment then moved forward, wrapping each other in a tight hug.

“Stay safe,” Marlon whispered in Sophie’s ear.

“You too,” Sophie murmured, giving a small nod.

“I will. All the Ericson pirates will be safe. Nothing in all the seven seas can truly knock us down!” Marlon took a step back and gave a confident smile. Sophie chuckled. The pair continued to talk for a few minutes until everyone started to gather around and talk. After a while Louis made the announcement that the crew had to leave and that Minerva would be dropping by in a half hour or so. So the crew said their last goodbyes and they all joined in for a group hug. Sophie and Tenn held onto the hug for as long as they could but before they knew it it was over and their pirate family was making their way back to the docks. Sophie looked at her new home; an optimistic smile covered her face.. She looked over to her brother who gave her a reassuring nod. The redhead returned it before glancing at the sign with the three sibling’s names. She was hopeful. Hopeful of the path she had taken and the future it would bring.

[siqqet]

So here’s the... thing... The writing.... With Soph and Thassie....

“Um, sir?” Ensign Soraimo questioned, staring ahead, a bemused expression on his face. He had been called into the Commander’s office to address the recent disaster he had caused, and had been expecting the worst. The Commander, an ex-Sith, was known for dishing out harsh punishments, though Soraimo had heard whispers from older Imperials who had served under her while she still sat on the Dark Council that she had toned it down since the arrival of Republic citizens in order to maintain their support. They asserted that back in the day she had been entirely without mercy, torturing and killing soldiers for the slightest of misdeeds, so when Soraimo had entered the chamber, trembling in anticipatory terror, soot from the explosion still staining his shoulders, he thought he would be met with anger, and probably Force-lightning. Instead, the Commander sat at her desk, a serene, if not slightly entertained expression crossing her pale face and a young child balancing on her knee.

Soraimo recognized the child as Thassande, the adopted daughter of the Commander and her lovers, Beniko and Shan, though most people assumed a relation between her and the child, as they were of the same species and shared many traits. What Soraimo didn’t understand was what she was doing here. Surely a disciplinary meeting was no place for a kid, especially as Soraimo knew his punishment would have to be severe.

If the Commander agreed with him, though, she didn’t show it, keeping a steady eye locked on him, ignoring the child squirming on her lap, unable to keep still for even a second, and Soraimo was hardly in a place to challenge her lack of professionalism. When the Commander spoke, Soraimo startled, having been too lost in the confounding details of the situation that he had momentarily forgotten why he was there.

“Am I to understand that it is you, Ensign Firne Soraimo, who lost us thousands of credits worth of experimental technology?” Despite her calm expression, her voice was cold, scathing. Soraimo winced. His eyes lowered as he stared at the floor in shame and fear, his fingers nervously playing with the hem of his uniform.

“Yes, sir.” he mumbled.

The Commander made a small noise that Soraimo tagged as disapproval, and out of the edge of his vision, he saw her shift in her chair, the leather of her skirt creaking as it moved against the leather of her chair. When he looked up, she was leaning forward now, body curled so that her elbows could rest on the desk while still providing room for Thassande, who giggled quietly to herself, to poke through. The Commander’s expression held more gravity.

“It is difficult to find parts for a stealth ship, you understand,” she said and Soraimo couldn’t meet her eyes. He had always thought Sith had creepy eyes, but the anger behind them had never been directed at him. He didn’t want to see if it was now.

The Commander continued. “I shouldn’t have to tell you how costly the war with Zakuul was, or how hard it is to find usable parts for such sophisticated technology. You fought beside me. You should be well aware of the scarcity.”

Soraimo nodded. He remembered well, but it wasn’t as if he had destroyed the fighter on purpose. He felt suddenly defensive.

“It was hardly my fault, sir. If we could just standardize the measuring systems, I wouldn’t have run out of fuel!” he blurted out.

“Silence!” The Commander snapped in return, glaring at him over her daughter’s head. He noticed the wrinkle of anger in her furrowed brow aligned perfectly with the white markings on her face. “You dare tell me what to do, Ensign? After the catastrophe you have caused?” She did not yell at him; her voice remained at regular speaking volume, and rather level, but beneath it there was an edge, a venom that told Soraimo that he had overstepped. Of course he had. He had no right telling the Commander how to run her alliance. Besides, his suggestion hadn’t even been useful. Officially, the units of measurement were standardized, despite the shortcuts some Imperial soldiers took. They followed Republic units, which Soraimo could never follow, hence his disastrous mistake. He had no place exclaiming like that.

A giggle sounded, contrasting the Commander’s frosty tone and Soraimo’s silent guilt. Thassande grinned at him, her eyes glinting with a mischief Soraimo expected from the daughter of two Sith and a SIS agent, though that wasn’t the only unsettling thing about her expression, he realized. Although the smile on her tiny face should have been cute, a chill went down Soraimo’s spine when he saw that every one of her teeth were pointed. She laughed again, a knowing smirk replacing the dangerous-looking smile.

“Careful, mister. Isla’s mad at you.” she said. Her tone was so sincere that Soraimo would have believed it to be a genuine warning had he not seen her expression.  He also took note of what the young girl called her mother, pondering it for a second before realizing that since she had two mothers, it was logical to call the Commander by what Soraimo assumed was either her given name or a nickname. As he considered this, Thassande shifted, trying to straighten up, but only succeeding in driving her miniature montrals into her mother’s chin, causing the Commander to hiss in pain and surprise. In reaction, the Commander leaned back again, giving Thassande more room to move around, though she put her hands on the child’s hips to keep her from wiggling so much. Soraimo thought he heard her murmur “Mind yourself, love,” but thought it best to stay still and silent until the Commander had shifted her focus back to him. She stared at him for a long time before speaking again.

“Ensign Soraimo, your carelessness has caused us quite a setback. We will have to find new parts and--”

“You couldn’t scavenge anything?” he cut in, then winced at his mistake. He had spoken on impulse alone, his nervousness making him hasty.

The look the Commander gave him made him want to sink into the floor and the silence before she spoke was longer than the last.

“It was... Completely... Destroyed.” She said slowly, clearly, enunciating the words. Soraimo felt awful. He hadn’t meant to cause that much carnage. Well, he hadn’t meant to cause any, but this was a level of destruction he hadn’t thought he could have been capable of. It was disheartening, and terrifying.

Thassande decided to take the pause during which Soraimo’s soul was withering away in disgrace to pipe in. “It- It was a huge Ka-Boom!” she announced, excitement filling her voice. “I saw it- I saw it from my room! There was so much fire!” Thassande said, spreading her arms wide to demonstrate her understanding of the scale to the best of her ability.

Soraimo found her enthusiasm a bit offputting, but he supposed a four year old didn’t really have the emotional intelligence to understand the gravity of the situation. If he hadn’t had his life on the line, he might have thought it was cute.

“There was so much fire.” The Commander added, the faintest hint of amusement in her voice.

“You are fortunate no one was hurt, or else deciding what to do with you would be a lot easier for me, but a lot less pleasant for you, I suspect.” she said and Soraimo groaned internally. He wouldn’t exactly call the situation he was in ‘lucky’.

“My punishment, then, sir?” He asked, trying to keep his voice as professional and to-the-point as possible, though there was a slight tremor to it. The smirk on the Commander’s face seemed to drink up his fear, but this time he did not look away, even as his legs shook beneath him. The beat between his question and her reply seemed to stretch an eternity.

“Hmm...” The Commander stared past him, drawing the intermission out even further. Soraimo thought he might vomit from the anxiety.

She looked down, eyes fixed on the small child sat across her thighs who in turn looked up to meet her mother’s glance. “Advisor Thassande, what punishment do you recommend for Ensign Soraimo?”

The Commander’s voice was completely serious as she posed the question. Thassande’s eyes lit up and she gave a happy wiggle, seeming to like being asked her opinion. Once again, Soraimo wasn’t entirely sure how to react.

Thassande deliberated for a moment, humming and hawing over her decision, leaving Soraimo in limbo, unsure if he should be scared or not. Occasionally she’d stretch up to whisper something against her mother’s montrals, at which point the Commander would nod briskly and Thassande would go back to thinking. Finally, finally, she broke the silence, though with a laugh that sounded impressively evil for such an adorable child. Soraimo registered with a start that this was a Sith child, and that there was a very real possibility that her verdict may have been just as nasty as the Commander’s.

“Um, you’re... Um, you’ve gotta go to time out for the... the, um rest of the day and you’re not allowed to play-- to play with your toys... Your ships.” Thassande stammered out her best impression of a grown-up, though her high-pitched voice and speech impediment along with the characteristic hesitation of a child made the delivery kind of endearing. The punishment itself was monumentally less cruel than Soraimo would have predicted, given the situation, and he almost didn’t want to glance at the Commander for her confirmation.

When their eyes met, a soft smile crossed the Commander’s face, amused and loving, though it hardened after a second when she started to speak. “You heard her, Ensign. You are to remain in your bunk until dinner and you are to be reassigned from duty in the hangar. Check in with your Captain tomorrow, I will give her the details of your new assignment. You are dismissed.” She instructed and Soraimo nearly collapsed in relief. Not only was that a lenient punishment from the Commander, it was a lenient punishment in general. Thank the stars for Thassande’s input.

“Yes, sir!” He saluted the Commander as he stumbled towards the door, his body feeling like jelly now that the panic was wearing off. After a split second of consideration, he also offered a salute to Thassande, who giggled and waved at him. Unexpectedly, the Commander also laughed, though hers was a deep rumble.

“You’re lucky your mess caused too much of a stir-up for me to find a babysitter.” Her eyes bored into him as he wobbled out the door. “Any further mistakes will bear a much less... merciful result.”

[alwayschoosechocolate]

Are we even speaking the same language? (Part 12)

Sophie moves to Seoul to become a language assistant at one of Seouls biggest music companies. Even though her Korean is far from perfect, she quickly seems to get along with some of the biggest stars in the company. But the language might not be the only barrier, she has to overcome.

Characters: All seven members of BTS, paring between Namjoon x main character

Word count: 3672

Genre: romance, angst, fluff

Warnings: struggles with mental health

Comments: When the dialog is written in cursive, it’s in Korean. When it’s bold, it’s in Danish.

Masterpost with the other parts of the story, can be found here (x)

Stirred awake by the sun coming in through the curtains and the empty space next to him, Namjoon sleepily raised his head to look around in confusion. He could hear her soft voice coming from the living room, and the hum of the coffee machine. Checking his phone, he discovered that it was only half past 7 in the morning. He groaned as he forced his body up to a seated position, rubbing his eyes and running a hand through his hair, before he pushed himself off the bed and padded towards the kitchen.

He found Sophie sitting on the couch, coffee mug in hand and talking to someone on the phone. Not quite understanding the language, he guessed that it was Danish and that she was probably talking to her sister. She gave him a small smile as he placed a kiss on her cheek walking past her to get some coffee. He filled a new cup for her as well and went to sit down next to her on the couch, draping an arm over her shoulder, only to have her shrug it off. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, as she mouthed a sorry to him and moved to sit on the floor instead. Namjoon observed her with worried eyes, as she kept talking on the phone. Judging from the tone, it sounded like she was comforting someone, but he had no idea, what it was about. He could feel her shuffle under his stare, so he pulled out his phone to keep him entertained while she finished the conversation.

“Morning, babe,” her soft voice called, drawing Namjoons eyes away from his phone.

“Morning. Who were you talking to?”, he smiled at her.

“Just my sister. Sorry, it took so long.”

He just shook his head at her and kept smiling at her, observing how she reached for the fresh coffee he had poured her.

“When do you have practice today, Joon?”, she asked, taking a sip of the cup.

“At 9, so I have about an hour until I have to go, and then I’ll come straight back here, when we’re done.”

Sophie felt herself tense up at his words. He had been staying at her place every night since they came back from the last concerts. That was 2 weeks ago. As nice as it was to sleep next to him, as annoyed was she with him constantly checking up on her. Asking if she had eaten, if she had slept well, if she had showered. Constantly asking if she was okay, and not accepting any other answer than ‘great’. It was exhausting.

“Joon, you don’t have to keep staying here. I can take care of myself. You know that.” She tried keeping her tone sweet, but she could hear the bite behind the words.

“I want to stay here. I like being close to you,” he answered, elegantly dodging her claim that she could take care of herself.

“Namjoon, I need some time to myself as well. I like having you around, but don’t you think it’s a bit too much? We’ve only been dating for 2 months?”

He scrunched his face at her words, irritation clear on his features.

“Too much? I’m your boyfriend. I like spending time with you. I like taking care of you. Is that a bad thing?” He seemed genuinely baffled by her questions.

“No, but that’s just it. You don’t have to take care of me, just because you are my boyfriend. Just like you don’t have to keep other men away from me,” she stressed, sending him a stern look.

There had been several incidents of Namjoon acting like a caveman, when guys at the office would approach her with questions about work, and quite frankly she was fed up with it.

“Sophie, they were hitting on you. I don’t like other men touching you.”

His voice was deep, and he spoke slowly, as if to stress every word. Sophie rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.

“I don’t get it, Namjoon. Do you really want a fucking child as a girlfriend?”, she groaned. “Because it seems you are only satisfied, if you can babysit me and keep an eye on me every fucking hour of the day?”

“I’m just trying to help you, Sophie!”

“With what exactly? Keeping my alive?” She pushed herself off the floor and started pacing it instead. “I told you, I don’t harm myself. I eat and sleep normally, I go to work every day, I keep in contact with my friends. Except not since you forced your ass in here! I haven’t seen anyone outside of work in forever!”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like I keep you a prisoner, Soph! You’re free to go as you want.” He was still sitting on the couch with an annoyed look on his face.

“Oh, really? Is that why, you insist on checking up on me every hour? Even when I’m at work? I don’t know, how a relationship normally works here in Korea, but in Denmark, this would have been bordering on stalking!”

“Oh really? You’re really using the culture-card? Well, you don’t live in Denmark anymore, love. Maybe you should just adapt to life here,” his voice dropped an octave at his last words, and he all but growled them.

Sophie stared at him in pure anger, her jaw set in rage.

“Maybe you should just leave. I don’t need or want you here. If you insist on treating my like this, I don’t want anything to do with you,” her voice icy, when she spoke the last sentence in Danish.

She smirked, when she saw his eyes light up in anger.

“Really? You’re changing languages? Are you just gonna say screw it to all the rules you made?”

“Rules are made to be broken, Joon. Who the fuck cares?”

Her eyes were glinting in anger, and she felt it pump through her body, finally flushing out all of the pent-up feelings she had against him. He all but looked at her, before shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head in disappointment.

“You’re lucky, I have to go to work –“

“Or what, Joon? You would have forced me to succumb to your rule? Have made me accept your forced help? You don’t get to act disappointed here. You’re just as much part of this problem, as I am!”

“Sophie,” he sighed, seeming completely spent. “I’m only trying to help you take care of yourself. You don’t want to talk about, what’s going on, so I’m helping the only way I know how to – by protecting you.” His eyes had softened as he looked up at her with pleading eyes.

“I don’t need your help or protection, Joon. I need you to stop. This power struggle we have going on – I hate it!”

Her voice broke at the last words. Not from anger or tears, but from lack of both. She had no energy left, and she could feel the fight inside her die down. She needed to get him out soon.

“I know that, Sophie,” he told her softly. “You tell me that you don’t need me almost every day. And I’ll keep answering the same thing. You don’t need me, but it’s okay to want me here. I just wish you would stop pushing me away and picking fights with me all the time,” he sighed, as he stood up from the couch and made his way to the bedroom to get ready.  

Sophie felt the guilt contort through her body, as she let herself fall to the floor, sitting herself against the bookcase. Resting her elbows on her knees, she buried her face in her arms, hoping that Namjoon would leave without more talking. She had no excuse for what she did. For what she had said.

She heard his footsteps emerge from the bedroom and walk across the living room, coming to a halt somewhere in the middle. She could clearly picture how he would furrow his eyebrows slightly and push his jaw out, while debating what to do. If he should ask her again. Or maybe he would just send her an annoyed look and shake his head in disappointment. He had been doing that a lot lately.

Every time he had tried starting a conversation about how she was doing, what was troubling her so much, what made her sad, Sophie had tried avoiding the questions. She had fed him some meaningless stories about her siblings, her mom being immature. Nothing, really. And in the beginning, he had been pleased that she was sharing, but as the days went by and she didn’t open up more, he started getting more insistent, asking her more direct questions, opening up about his own life and struggles, hoping that it would make her open up as well. But it didn’t. He had asked her to explain some of the poems, but she had refused. He had asked her to write some more poetry, explaining what she was feeling, but she couldn’t. And through all this, he had been over her constantly. Asking if she had eaten, if she had slept, if she had been outside, if she was happy. Lying to him was getting harder. Since he found her on the floor, he had started analyzing every move she made. If she sat down on the floor to eat her meal, he thought she was having a brake-down. If she didn’t respond to his text immediately, he called to check up on her. He was slowly suffocating her with help and understanding.

She had started skipping meals again just to feel that spark of rebellion. It had been a long time, since she had skipped meals and she was a little shocked with how easy it was to get back into the rhythm. Every time she succeeded in making him think, that she had eaten even though she hadn’t or that she was okay, even though she had just gotten off the phone with her sister, she felt a sick feeling of pride. She was proud, that she could keep it hidden from him. She couldn’t stop him worrying, but she could at least still keep some things hidden from him.

Sophie heard his footsteps moving across the floor and out the door. When the door slammed shut, she let out a breath of relief, and laid herself down on the floor. She stayed there for a moment, eyes shut, breathing heavy and guilt in her heart. Why was it so hard to keep him from worrying about her?

When she finally found the strength to get up, she slowly made her way to the kitchen, noticing two notes on the counter. One was the usual reminder from Namjoon for her to eat breakfast. Rolling her eyes, she balled it up and threw it in the sink. But the other one was longer, and she had to reread it a few times.

 I know some of your deepest feelings, Soph. You let me read your deepest thoughts. Why won’t you let me know the shell surrounding them?

Scoffing, she grabbed the pen off the counter and scribbled an answer on the note before smacking the pen back on the counter with a satisfying nod. Grapping another coffee, she made her way to the couch. She had some translations to get out of the way.

   Hours later, she was finally done for the day and stretched in her seat to reach her phone on the other side of the table. Both Tae and Jimin had texted her, asking if she was coming by the dance studio today. Checking the time, she figured it wasn’t a bad idea. Namjoon had probably cooled off, and she missed the other boys.

She grabbed a quick shower and pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. It was pretty warm out, so she decided to walk there.

 She could hear the music long before she got to their dance studio. She recognized the music as one of the new numbers, and as she opened the door, she was meet with their sweaty forms, watching their movements in the mirror as they moved around the room. She caught Jimins eye as they ran to change positions mid-song, and he sent a wink before focusing on the dancing again. She sat down against the wall, placing her bag beside her.

She watched in awe as they moved elegantly and effortless through the steps, and she suddenly realized that they were only 6. Namjoon wasn’t here. Half sighing in relief, she felt her body relax. She wouldn’t have to apologize just yet. When the song ended, Jimin all but squealed her name, as he ran to her and threw his body against her.

“Sophie, I haven’t seen you in so long. I missed you!”, he spoke against her hair, and she couldn’t help but laugh at his words.

“I missed you too, Jiminie,” she giggled.

“Namjoon-ah isn’t here, Soph. He is in his studio,” Hoseok told her with a smile.

“That’s okay. I came to see you guys,” she answered, ruffling Jimins hair a bit.

He cooed  at her words and she was so busy getting hugged by Jimin, that she didn’t catch the worried glances the others sent each other.

“Are you guys alright?”, Yoongi asked, trying to sound indifferent.

Sophie head shot up at his words, and she sent him an annoyed gaze.

“Sure. Why do you ask?”

“He’s been a bit weird lately, and he won’t tell us why. And he hasn’t been at the dorm in forever,” Jin cut in, carefully stepping towards her.

Jimin felt her tightening her hold on him and pulling him slightly in front of her.

“We’re fine. Don’t worry.”

Her voice was quieter than normal, and they all picked up on her burrowing herself behind Jimin.  

“It’s probably just Hyung having a bad day,” Jimin interjected, sending Hoseok a telling look, to get the others away for a bit. He quickly caught on and called the others towards the mirror again and started the music.

Hidden by the music, Jimin turned around so he was facing Sophie instead of lying against her. His soft eyes found hers, and she felt herself tense up. She knew, what was coming.

“Are y-“

“Please don’t ask me, if I’m okay, Jimin,” she interrupted him with a heavy sigh.

His eyes widened at her response and he placed a hand on her knee, tracing circles with his thumb as he held her gaze.

“What’s going on?”

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

“Nothing new.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She visibly relaxed at his words and sent him a small thankful smile.

“No. I really don’t.”

He mirrored her smile and ruffled her hair a bit.

“I don’t know, what’s going in there,” he said as he tapped her lightly on the forehead. “But if and when you need someone to talk to or anything, just let me know, okay?”

She nodded and thanked him, even though she knew, that she would probably never make use of the offer.

Jimin gave a satisfied nod at her response and turned his body around, so he could lean his back against her front. It was their go-to cuddle position.

“So, what’s going on with Namjoon?”, he asked, as he let his head rest on her shoulder.

“Hmm. Stubborn,” she giggled dryly, as she snaked her arms around Jimins frame and rested her head on his hair. She felt the vibrations in his chest as he laughed at her.

“Yeah, because he���s the only stubborn one in your relationship.”

Sophie smacked his chest with a laugh and looked up to see the others watching them. She quickly looked down again and let out a sigh.

“He’s just… He wants to protect me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”, Jimin asked, as he stroked her arms.

“I don’t need protecting, Jimin.” Her voice had hardened, and she stopped caressing him.

“He knows that, Soph. He probably just likes to feel needed,” Jimin said in a soft voice, trying to calm her again.

“Well, he isn’t. I can do this on my own,” she groaned.

“Do what, Soph?”

He felt her sigh heavily and burrow her head against his neck. She had never been good at keeping secrets from Jimin.

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to,” he whispered, and he felt her shake her head against his neck.

“I can’t, Jimin. I don’t know how to say it in Korean. I don’t want you to misunderstand.”

He just nodded and pulled her arms closer around him and placed his own arms on top of hers.

“Then I’ll wait.”

She whispered a thank you against his hair, and he couldn’t help the soft smile spread on his face at how tightly she was hugging him. How small she was making herself behind him. How her breathing calmed at his words.

“Jimin, are you done hogging Sophie? I want a hug as well,” Tae insisted, breaking the bubbled around Sophie and Jimin.

Sophie giggled at his words and untangled herself from Jimin to stand up and hug Tae.

“Do you want to go get ice cream, when we’re done practicing?”, he asked her with a pouty smile and puppy eyes. She laughed at his expression, before agreeing. She didn’t have anything else, she had to do that day, and she hadn’t been hanging out with the guys in such a long time.

As they went back to practicing, she made her way to Namjoons studio. She knew, they had to talk about what happened at some point. It might as well be now.

 When she reached his studio, she knocked softly, and when the door opened, she was surprised to see Pdogg on the other side. She had talked to him before, but she wasn’t close with him in the same way as she was with the other members.

“Sophie! Come on in. We’re almost done,” he exclaimed, stepping aside to let her in. She thanked him and took a seat on the couch. Namjoon was seated with his back towards her, and he didn’t turn around to greet her. She felt the annoyance stir in her stomach, but she pushed it down.

She exchanged a few sentences with Pdogg, just small talk, while he finished up with Namjoon. When they were done, he high-fived Namjoon and gave Sophie a small wave, before leaving the studio.

 "You know, that he is older than you, right?", Namjoon asked, addressing her for the first time. Sophie looked at him with confused eyes.

"Yeah?", she wasn't sure, where he was going with the question.

"Then why didn't you use honorifics?", Namjoon asked, an annoyed tone to his voice. Her eyes widened.

"Oh, shit! I didn't?", her cheeks flared up in embarrassment and she covered her face in her hands. "Dammit! I'll have to get better at that. I still struggle a lot with that."

Namjoon could feel his annoyance flare up.

"You've been living here for more than 2 months now, speaking Korean every day. Don't you think you should have gotten a better grip of it by now?" He had his back turned towards her, typing away on his keyboard. Sophie winched at his words.

"Maybe," she said in a small voice. "It's just so different from the languages, I'm used to. So, I have to actively think about it every time I speak."

She was trying to stay calm, still licking her wounds from their fight this morning, but he was really testing her patience.

"Maybe you should just try harder." Namjoons voice was harsh. "I mean, it's a little embarrassing, isn't?"

He knew he was way out of line. But fighting was basically all they were doing these days, if he wasn’t trying to get her to talk, and he was fed up with her attitude.

Sophie could feel the annoyance and anger start to build up in the pit of her stomach.

"Embarrassing to whom, Namjoon?"

Her voice was clear and calm. He turned around and looked at her.

"What do you mean?", he said in an impatient tone, looking beyond annoyed.

"Who is it embarrassing to, Namjoon?" Her voice had gotten icy and her eyes were glinting in anger. So much for not picking a fight. "To you?"

He rolled his eyes at her.

"That's not what I said", he said.

Sophie scoffed, nodded her head with a close-lipped smile.

"Ah, of course not," she spat out in a laugh. "So, I'm embarrassing myself, when I speak? Is that what you mean?"

He gave her an exasperated look.

"Sophie, you're being disrespectful, when you don't talk in honorifics to the people above you," he explained in an impatient tone.

"I know that. It's not something I do on purpose." Sophie gritted her teeth. She could feel her cheeks flare up in anger. Why was he being such an asshole about it?

"I do my best, you know."

She was struggling to keep her voice calm. She didn't want him to know how much this affected her.

"Then maybe try to do it better, because it's not good enough."

Namjoon was getting increasingly irritated with her. Why couldn't she understand, how disrespectful she was being? She was living in Korea now. That meant following the customs here.

"You know, technically, you should use honorifics when talking to me as well. I'm practically your boss," he stated in a matter of fact tone.

Sophies eyes were stormy and her hands were shaking. She gave him with the iciest look she could muster, before grabbing her phone of the table.

"Well, I'm terribly sorry for that, sir." Her voice was shaking in anger. "I'll remember that next time, sir. So sorry to bother you."

She gave him a deep bow, before standing up straight, sending him a glare and exiting the studio.

@lidda

[highfivecalum]

Wouldn’t Miss A Chance {CH} 5

Previous Chapters: One Two Three Four

❋ ❋ ❋

SOPHIE HATED CAMPING and hiking and really anything to do with being and sleeping outdoors. She didn’t have to go camping with the guys, but what else was she going to do? Stay home alone all weekend and be bored? Being home alone sounded tempting, it really did, but spending time with Ashton and his friends sounded more fun. Even if it did involve sleeping in the wilderness with no phone service.

“You okay with Calum riding with you?” Sophie halted her actions at the sound of Ashton’s voice behind her. She turned around, seeing Ashton leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Why can’t you ride with me?” Sophie went back to packing her small overnight bag with a sigh.

Her and Calum got along, but they were only acquaintances as best, not friends and Sophie wasn’t sure if she wanted to sit in a car for two and a half hours with Calum in her passengers seat. Sophie already felt a small amount of nervousness when Calum was around and she knew it would be magnified if she had to sit, alone, in a car with him.

“I told Luke and Mike I would ride with them.” Ashton sighed and stalked over to his sister. “And plus, it’ll be a good bonding opportunity for you and Cal.”

Sophie let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, okay.” She zipped her bag and handed it to Ashton so he could load up her car for her. Sophie insisted she would do it herself, but Ashton wouldn’t take no as an answer, always wanting to do everything for his younger sister. “Pretty sure he hates me, Ash.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Ashton rolled his eyes. “He’s just, kinda hard to get along with once you first meet him, but once you guys are friends you’ll realize he’s actually a pretty nice guy. And funny, too.”

“You makin’ me sound soft, Irwin?” Both Sophie and Ashton looked up at the sound of Calum’s voice coming from the bathroom. Calum was shoving his deodorant and a razor, which he knew he wouldn’t use since he would be in the wilderness, in his small bathroom bag that he took on trips with him.

“You’re as soft as they come, Hood.” Ashton piped back earning a laugh that sounded more like a scoff from Calum. Calum wasn’t soft, he and Ashton both knew that, but there were times where he was soft. Only certain things like his family, friends, and dogs made him seem soft, but other than that? Calum was the complete opposite of soft.

“Me ridin’ with you gonna be a problem?” Calum asked Sophie and she swallowed the small lump in her throat. The way Calum looked at Sophie, the way he sounded when he talked to her, made her nervous and intimidated.

“No,” Sophie shook her head. “No problem at all.”

❋ ❋ ❋

Sophie’s music played throughout the car and she wanted to sing along, but she knew that Calum would have a snarky remark about her singing voice, so she stayed silent. Stevie Nicks’ voice helped Sophie to forget that she was stuck in a car with Calum, just the two of them, for almost three hours.

“Can I smoke in here?” Calum spoke for the first time after getting into Sophie’s car over an hour ago.

Sophie glanced at Calum seeing the cigarette and lighter already in his hand and she sighed. “Yeah, sure. Just roll the window down.”

Calum did as Sophie said, rolling the window down and blowing the smoke out outside, even though the wind blew it right back in. Sophie didn’t mind when people smoked cigarettes around her, she just didn’t like to smoke them herself, so Calum doing so didn’t bother her. What bothered Sophie, though, was how fucking attractive Calum looked while smoking.

The way he sucked in his cheeks, showing off his amazing jawline and cheekbones, and his lump lips wrapped around the end of the cigarette made Sophie’s insides twist in the best way possible and she hated thinking that way. He was her brother’s best friend, she couldn’t be having those kind of thoughts about him.

“Can we stop somewhere to get food? I’m hungry,” Calum complained. “And I also have to pee.”

“You’re a joy to go on car rides with,” Sophie mused, but she also was hungry and had to pee, she just liked to give Calum shit. Calum scoffed, mumbling something under his breath that Sophie didn’t hear and didn’t care to ask about. “But yeah. We can stop. Where do you want to eat?”

“There’s a rest stop just up the street. Has a Subway in it.”

Sophie pulled into the parking lot, finding a parking spot rather quickly and turned off her car. She followed Calum inside, both of them going their separate ways to relieve themselves in the bathroom, and the meeting at the Subway that was attached to it. After ordering their food, Calum handed the lady at the register his card, and ignored Sophie’s protests to pay for herself.

“Thanks for lunch,” Sophie offered Calum a shy smile as the pair made their way out of Subway after finishing their food and back to Sophie’s car.

Calum shrugged. “No biggie.” They slid into a comfortable silence, Sophie’s phone still playing music, when Calum picked it up off of her leggings clad thigh and clicked the home button, her phone lighting up. Sophie looked at him as he looked at her background that she still hadn’t changed of her and her ex-boyfriend. “Thought you and your dude broke up?”

“We did,” Sophie confirmed. “Just haven’t changed my background yet. I probably should though.”

“Would be smart,” Calum mumbled. “Unlock your phone for me. ‘M gonna be the DJ from now on.”

Sophie leaned over, eyes still on the road, and placed her thumb on the home button to unlock her phone for Calum. Her music app was already up, so Calum simply looked through her music and created a playlist of his own for the car ride, naming it ‘Calum’ and then locked Sophie’s phone and handed it back to her.

Calum and Sophie had similar taste in music, which they bonded over during the duration of the car ride, and Sophie could feel Calum relaxing and talking to her like she was one of his friends, not just his best friend’s sister that moved in with them unexpectedly.

“About time you guys made it,” Ashton scolded them as Sophie and Calum got out of her parked car. Michael, Luke, and Ashton hadn’t stopped once and since Michael is a way too fast driver, they made it there an hour before Sophie and Calum did. “We got a bit of a problem.”

“What kind of problem?”

“We only brought four tents, not five, so you’re going to have to sleep in your car, Soph.”

“What?” Sophie exclaimed. “I’m not sleeping in my car! Why can’t I sleep in yours with you?”

“It’s too small,” Ashton pouted. “I don’t want to share.”

“Seriously? You’re really going to make me sleep in my car?”

“You can sleep in mine with me,” Luke offered with a smirk on his face and Calum wanted to wipe the shit off. He loved Luke like a brother and considered him one of his closest friends, but he hated the idea of Sophie sharing a tent with him.

“Yours is too small, Luke,” Calum looked down at Sophie. “Mine’s bigger. You can share with me.” Calum offered, surprising both Sophie and himself.

“Really?” Sophie’s eyes lit up.

“If it gets you to stop complaining, then yes.” Calum gave her a pointed look before unpacking her car that consisted of his bag, her bag, a few blankets and pillows, and a cooler full of booze. If he was going to share a tent with Sophie, Calum definitely needed some alcohol in his system.

❋ ❋ ❋

The night went on with lots of laughter and lots of alcohol being consumed. The group sat in a circle, all in their own respective camping chairs, around the fire that Michael had expertly built and started, as they passed joints back and forth.

Sophie’s head was light from the weed and heavy from the countless bottles of beer she had consumed. She leaned back in her chair, wrapped in a blanket, and rested her head and let her eyes flutter shut. She was tired, but not enough to go to sleep, so she sat there with her eyes closed, her half full beer in hand, and listened to the guys talk about whatever it was they were talking about.

“You good, Soph?” Michael asked with a laugh following.

Sophie opened one eye and offered a sleepy smile to the guys. “I’m great.” Sophie brought her bottle up to her lips and took a swig. Calum reached over, holding out the joint for her to take, but she was already too stoned to smoke anymore. “‘M good.”

Instead, Sophie finished her beer and opened another one, as did Ashton. “Let’s play a game!” He suggested.

“What kinda game?” Luke spoke up for the first time in a while.

“Never have I ever?”

Sophie exhaled a laugh. “What are we? In high school?”

“Fuck off!” Ashton exclaimed. “Okay, I’ll go first,” Ashton cleared his throat. “Never have I ever kissed a dude.”

Sophie took a drink, and reluctantly, so did Michael and Calum. “What?” Luke laughed. “Since when?”

“We were drunk and playing truth or dare, and someone dared us to kiss.” Calum shrugged, as if it was no big deal, which he didn’t think it was. None of them did, really, they were just surprised. “Never have I ever... “ Calum tapped his chin in thought. “Had sex in a car.”

Sophie bit her lip, not sure if she should drink because her brother was right there and he definitely did not want to hear about her sex life, but she wasn’t a liar, so she quickly sipped her drink, hoping Ashton didn’t see. But, of course, he did. “When did that happen?” Ashton scrunched his nose up at the thought of his younger sister doing somebody in a car.

“A few months ago,” Sophie shrugged.

“Why a car?” Michael asked curiously, even though Ashton really wished there was a change in subject. 

“Jack, my ex, and I were super… ya know, horny, and we just couldn’t wait until we got home.” Sophie laughed at the memory of her and her ex-boyfriend being so needy and turned on by each other that they had to pull their car over and have a quickie on the side of the road.

“Gross,” Ashton fake gagged. “Really don’t wanna hear about my baby sister having sex.”

Calum stifled his laughter, because honestly all he could think about was Sophie and her sex life. Weird, yeah, but once he heard the word horny come out of her mouth he felt his pants tighten and pictured her pressed up against him, his hand wrapped around her throat, and Sophie moaning his name.

“New topic of discussion, please.” Ashton all but begged and the guys jumped right into a conversation about their own sex lives, safe for Calum, who stayed quiet and listened, too preoccupied with his thoughts about what Sophie would look like naked.

“Okay,” Sophie stood up after checking the time on her phone to see it was nearing three in the morning, stumbling slightly from sitting down for so long, and stretched her body, a few bones cracking in the process. “I’m going to sleep. Goodnight all.”

The boys bid their goodnights and after Sophie changed into more comfortable clothes and laid down, the boys also went to sleep, which meant Calum was unzipping the tent and quietly stepping inside the small space. He stripped himself of his shirt, already wearing sweatpants, and laid down on he and Sophie’s makeshift bed.

He could hear Sophie’s teeth chattering and her body shaking slightly from the cold and he frowned. “You cold?” He whispered.

“A little bit.”

“Come here,” Calum patted his chest and Sophie raised an eyebrow at him. Did he want to cuddle with her? “What?” Calum exhaled a laugh.

“You seriously want to cuddle?” Sophie asked, but she was already shifting her body so she was facing Calum and her head was on his chest. She wasn’t complaining, she couldn’t complain, really, for Calum was so fucking warm and smelled so good.

“What? You don’t cuddle with your friends?”

Sophie’s lips lifted up into a tired smirk as she teased tiredly, “Since when are we friends?”

Calum exhaled a breathy laugh and rolled his eyes at the girl. “Shut up.” He mumbled, although his words were muffled since his lips were resting against the top of Sophie’s head.

Calum didn’t cuddle much, not with girls that he knew or had sex with and it was a foreign thing to him, so he wasn’t sure why in God’s name he suggested cuddling with Sophie, but he didn’t mind it. With her body pressed against his- in the most nonsexual way possible, he slept better than he had in months.

❋ ❋ ❋

Taglist: @wrappedaroundcal @allltimehemmo @catchinqcalum @plaidpantsluke @plainwhiteluke @irwinkitten @irwinvalentines @monsteramongmikey @talkfastfletcher @astroashtonio @irrevocablylukes @holidayhood @youmaycallmemrshemmings @complete-trash-101 @jupitergranger @sensationalmikey @mysteriouslycali @lex-micole @sincerelycalum @calistheloml @kaxseychill @mermaid-merrick @verybelowaverage @honeycombcal @calumismyprince @trashforlili @forggetablle @ihatemyself21 @rexorangecouny @alotof1dlove @aybbblondie @dionnealberts @turtlenecktgc @nipplyportman @lauwenrodriguez @uncrowned-cal @ghstofcalum @cliffordcntrl @xx-cuddlemecalum-xx @checkeredcalum @thatonefangirlposts @it-was-a-lie @therainydays4 @booklove-2 @pattys-got-cakes @mpadge33 @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @that1girlmary @sensationalmikey @buddhas-princess @nostalgia-luke @tothemoonwithclifford @calistajs @hopelessxcynic @dannisos @calpalbby @thebodaciouscth @parkerswebs @hood-af @blue-skies-are-alright @rosesfromcth

[crazedlunatic]

Break Up Talk

“Daddy, I just don’t know if Logan is the one. We argue a lot. I want a relationship like yours and Daddy’s. You two are perfect. High school sweethearts, survived long distance, both have great careers and totally awesome children. You love each other so much.” Sophie sighed. “And you never argue.”

Blaine, who was grabbing something from the fridge, turned to look at Sophie and Kurt.

Kurt gave him a threatening look as a grin spread across Blaine’s face.

Were the kids finally old enough to know the truth?

“What do you count as surviving long distance?” Blaine asked sweetly.

“Blaine.” Kurt hissed.

“Well obviously you all worked through it and didn’t break up. You’re here today.” Sophie looked at him like he was stupid. “It’s, like, the perfect love story. Especially since most of my friend’s parents are divorced so I have nothing else to compare you to.”

“Don’t make me puke.” Zach, who was sitting on their kitchen island across from Sophie and eating Fruity Pebbles (yes, at 7:00 at night—he was Blaine’s offspring, after all), cringed.

“We did work through it.” Kurt said, giving Blaine a pointed look.

“Except for the nine months we were apart since you had ripped out my heart and put it through a Shred It truck.” Blaine scoffed.

Nick, who was sitting next to Zach, had been texting Ryan, looked up in shock.

Zach dropped his spoon, getting fruity pebbles down the front of his soccer jersey. “Shit…aki mushrooms.”

“Sure.” Sophie rolled her eyes.

“Nope. He did. Then I threw an engagement ring at his head. That’s why I didn’t propose.” Blaine said cheerfully.

“You broke up with Daddy?” Sophie stared at Kurt.

“Okay. Let’s not take this one sided, alright? I didn’t apply a school several hours away and not tell him until, like, three months before I moved out.”

“Well… I can see why he would.” Nick said under his breath.

“What was that?” Zach asked sweetly---looking and sounding exactly how Blaine had minutes before.

“Okay. Let’s be real. Soph, they don’t argue around you because when you were little you told the headmaster that they beat each other and threatened to kill each other.” Nick said.

“I did not!”

“Yeah, you did. I had to miss the day when the insect man came. They thought I was crying because it was true but I really wanted to see the hissing roaches…. And the scorpion…. “ Zach frowned.

“Why did you have to miss… Oh God. They called you all down to the office?” Kurt looked horrified.

“Yes.” Nick and Zach groaned together.

“Excuse me. My life was just shattered. Let’s get back to this ripping out of hearts and throwing rings—which was rude, Daddy… and Daddy.” Sophie said.

“You really broke up with Dad?” Zach looked heartbroken.

Kurt took a deep breath and glared at Blaine.

“Okay.” Blaine sat on the island as well, making Sophie in the middle of he and Kurt. “He pulled it off life support but really it was both of our faults.”

“Thank you.” Kurt gave him a look. “We did separate for nine months but, honestly, we were pretty much back together without the title after three or four.”

“That’s true.” Blaine nodded. “We had really bad communication and I had a hard time expressing my feelings when something was bothering me…and I would overreact to things that upset me… and there were a lot of times I would go to David and Wes about stuff when I should have just talked it out with Kurt.”

“But what was the final push?” Nick asked.

“A wedding invitation.” Kurt said. “When he told me he was going to Harvard, I thought he was planning to propose… obviously I was upset… even more upset months later when he acted like a proposal wasn’t even in the near future when before he acted like it was a pretty big possibility… I brought it up after Finn’s wedding invitation came and…”

“Boom. Yelling, tears, more yelling, throwing of a ring I stupidly bought to save the relationship even though I wasn’t near ready to get married.” Blaine said. “I went to the airport but honestly ended up going home with David until the end of spring break.”

“We didn’t speak for weeks.” Kurt said. “I called and emailed.”

“I deleted the voicemails and the emails.” Blaine said.

“Did you listen to them? And read them?” Nick asked.

“Not at first… but after a month I went back and did.” Blaine admitted.

“You did?” Kurt looked surprised.

“Yes.” Blaine nodded.

“You never told me that.” Kurt gave Blaine a sad look.

“I can’t believe this.” Sophie sighed. “Did you two date other people? No. You have to be each other's only ones. Obviously you lost your virginity to each other.”

“Actually he tried to date a guy five years older than him for a discount at the Gap.” Kurt said. “That was before we were together. Then when we were separated, he brought a girl to a Dalton Warbler event. As a date.”

“I still think it’s funny Dad sang in an acapella choir.” Zach snickered.

“Baha. I know.” Nick agreed. “And Daddy in one that sang poppy songs. I don’t know why we were even surprised. Look at them.”

“I know!” Zach exclaimed. “Why didn’t we just assume?”

“I mean honestly I don’t know why anyone would want to be with the lead singer of an acapella glee club. Oh my God. I can’t believe Oprah mentioned that on the special.” Nick let his head fall against the island.

“Does he keep singing—”

“Yes. I have tried to get him to—”

“Me too. Ugh.”

Nick opened his mouth to speak.

“Yes. I definitely did too.”

“Good. As long as I’m not alone in being crazy.”

“Why do I feel like we’re missing a part of this conversation?” Kurt asked, looking annoyed. “I hate when they do this.”

“Alex’s twins do it too apparently.” Blaine shrugged.

“Okay. It’s time to shut up so our fathers can shatter what I believed their perfect relationship was.” Sophie slapped her hand on the island. “Not twin time. Family time. Remember how annoying it is to everyone else when you two do that?”

Zach made a face as Nick silently repeated her words.

“Bob was right. We should have given one of them up for adoption.” Blaine joked.

“Yeah. I mean, it would have had to be Nick since Zach is your carbon copy.”

“I already have a—”

“Identity crisis. We know.” Sophie groaned. “Get over it already.”

“Hey, wait.” Nick said. “There are pictures of you two together at Aunt Rachel and Uncle Finn’s wedding.”

“Oh my God.” Kurt’s eyes widened

“They were totally hooking up.” Nick told Zach.

“Uh, yeah. Obviously.” Zach nodded. “Since they got back together a couple of months later.”

“How would you know that?” Blaine asked.

“Because there’s a cute picture of you two kissing in front of the Christmas tree with Melody in it.” Nick shrugged.

“So can we hear about, you know, the happy ending?”

“Blaine surprised me on December 23rd by showing up. I had gotten an offer for paid sponsorship in California and—”

“You two got back together because you knew you couldn’t be apart. That’s why you stayed in New York.” Sophie let out a happy sigh.

“There was probably a lot of hanky panky after.” Nick said.

“Oh my God.”

“And then Bob moved Dad to New York forever sealing their fate and therefore our fates. Rest in peace, Bob.” Zach said.

“What?” Blaine’s eyes widened in horror. “I just saw him two hours ago.”

“Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t joke about that.” Zach cringed. “He’s not old enough to keel over yet.”

“Bob actually helped me propose.” Kurt said. “He sent Blaine to the library where I proposed at.”

“Bob’s my favorite.” Sophie said. “That’s such a pretty spot too.”

“Yes. The consensus is that Blaine and his offspring all love Bob.” Kurt laughed.

“Can we go back to the dad dating a girl?” Zach asked.

“No, let’s not. Thanks.” Nick said.

“I didn’t date her. I took her… on a date. But it was a dance date. That’s not a real date.” Blaine sputtered.

“She kissed you.”

“Well Derek tried to feel you up, so…”

“Quit running my happily ever after fairy tale!” Sophie exclaimed.

“Sweetie… look at him. Do you think that is a fairy tale? I mean he is my happily ever after but he’s not prince charming.”

“Oh, I knocked you off your feet on the Dalton steps. Get over yourself.” Blaine scoffed. “You looked like you’d just seen Prince Charming.”

“Well at that point you were Prince Charming. Then you got drunk and made out with Rachel and then went on several dates after, Blaine.”

“WHAT?!” Nick, Zach, and Sophie exclaimed together.

“Whoops. We weren’t telling them that, right?” Kurt smiled sweetly at Blaine. “I’m so sorry.”

“Did Finn know about this?” Zach asked.

“Does it matter? Uncle Finn was obviously the better pick since he won.” Nick snorted.

“Okay. I’m going to go and meet my fairy tale Sarah. I’ll be back by eleven.” Zach hopped up.

“No, wait!” Nick said. “Can we drop the bombshell? Can we Zach?”

“What bombshell?” Kurt looked between them.

“We know Quinn’s our mom.” Nick and Zach said together.

“WHAT?!” Kurt, Blaine, and Sophie asked at the same time.

“Ahhh, see you all later.” Zach waved and rushed out the back door.

“ZACHARY!”

“How did you—”

“Uh, because I look exactly like her?” Nick asked. “Her dad is super tall and I’m taller than you. Same color hair and same color eyes?”

“You don’t know who your birth mother is.” Blaine said confidently. “Quinn and my eyes are almost the same.”

“No. I do. Because I went up to her last summer at yours and Sophie’s birthday party and told her I knew she was my mom.” Nick nodded.

“She’s so pretty. Daddy, why didn’t you want to date her instead of Rachel?” Sophie asked. “Wait, does that mean she’s my mom too?”

“She’s not your mom!” Kurt exclaimed.  “You have two dads and you had a surrogate! Just like you are all three both of ours regardless of who the biological father is!”

“So technically you’ve both had sex with Quinn.” Nick said. “I mean sex makes baby and here we are. Well, two of the three.

Blaine had his face covered with his hands and Kurt was staring at the ceiling.

“We’ll just leave you two alone to ponder what wrong choices you made to end up with us three as children.” Nick chirped.

“Why would you bring up Rachel?!”

“Why would you bring up our break?!”

Kurt glared at Blaine.

“At least they didn’t find out about the time I got drunk and made out with Adrian.” Blaine cringed.

“You what?”

“I totally told you that.”

“Uh, you ‘totally’ didn’t.” Kurt gave him a look.

“Oh. Sorry… yeah, we got really drunk and made out once. Then we passed out and never mentioned it again.” Blaine said.

“Well… how was it?” Kurt asked curiously, not seeming upset. “I mean, he’s really hot. He was a professional model.”

“It was actually less exciting than kissing Rachel was. It just… isn’t there. Even drunk there was nothing there.” Blaine shrugged.

“It wasn’t even good?”

“Nope.” Blaine said, very honestly. “Literally like kissing the back of your hand or something. I’m pretty sure Adrian was hoping to get laid, though. After like two minutes he just sat up, said ‘I hate my life,’ took his tennis shoes off, and fell asleep on the edge of his bed still in his jeans. Kissing me was so traumatic he went to sleep.”

Kurt burst out into loud laughter.

“Hey, that’s not very nice.”

“Oh, there are a lot of worse things I could say.”

[btslols]

Ingenious | BTS PrivateSchool!au

Genre: romance, angst.

Warnings: Bad language, violence, mental health issues, sex, alcohol

Snowflakes all around, like glistening gems falling from the sky, it would be a cosy Christmas for the students at Silver Creek; or at least the very few who had not been able to go home for the holidays.

Christmas had rolled around quicker than ever, exams being the main black hole of focus for the students. It felt, for those still left at school that the festive bug had not yet caught them.

Y/N, unfortunately, was one of the teenagers having to brave the cold weather in the dorm rooms accompanied by her close friend Sophie, a girl with money rooted in her blood. Like most of the pupils at Silver Creek Academy Sophie had brought her way in and often soured when teachers mentioned Y/N’s scholarship for outstanding intelligence and understanding in the art of languages.

24th December, Christmas Eve

“Y/N! Y/N! ONE DAY UNTIL CHRISTMAS! WAKE UP YOU BUTT”

“Ugh Sophie! Give me a break girl“

Ever since you arrived at Silver Creek a few years ago Sophie had made a point to wake the dormitory at the crack of dawn, regardless of the disapproving reactions she usually got.

“DID YOU KNOW THE BOYS FROM KNENNINGTON HOUSE ARE STILL HERE!?!? We’re not the only fifth years left!”

"Oh what Hobi’s friends?” You sat up straight to face the plump blonde girl sat on the end of my bed.

“yes those guys, but don’t touch they’re mine”

“So what’s the plan?” You asked, curious as to what ideas she had conjured up in true Sophie Sparks fashion and amused by her evident crushes on the boys.

She then explained how she had decided you would make your famous gingerbread cookies that you would then eat at dinner. Of course the lack of other students would make you visible to the Kennington boys who should come over for a delicious cookie. Ingenious really.

6pm,

“and then she wanted to ...”

“and there they are” Sophie interrupted whilst pointing at the boys walking in, laughing and smiling. 

The Christmas spirit had clearly overtaken them in the form of ugly sweaters and cracker hats that fell as they moved. Sophie continued to stare at them as they sat down behind me. 

“damn. Start munching bitch” she handed me a cookie and we continued to gossip about a certain girl in our dorm. 

“HEY Y/N? Can I have one pretty please?” 

You refocused from Sophie to Jung Hoseok; a bold and energetic boy that You had many classes with a few years ago, the class clown if you will. Thankfully you had remained close friends with him and his group throughout the past few years, much to Sophie’s dismay.

“Oh sure” You grinned at him and held out the biscuit tin. 

“Hey! what about me?” Jimin, a dance major, appeared behind him.

“Be my guest” You say as they sat down.

It wasn’t long before the rest of their friends had sat down with us, chatting with us joyfully.

“Aren’t you the girl with the scholarship for languages and stuff?” Namjoon asked. Namjoon however, was the one not that I had never really spoken to before.

“Haha yes that’s me”

“oh wow, that’s really impressive. You’re in my English and Japanese class I think?”

“Thankyou, and mm yeah I think so, I’m usually too tired to take notice of the lesson let alone the people in there hahaha.” 

“Well...you always impress me with your skills” 

“awh thank..”

Sophie stood up sharply and stomped out of the dining room with a heavy sigh, mumbling rapidly under her breath.

“What’s going on with her?” Min Yoongi questioned.

“She always gets like that when someone mentions my scholarship.”

“oh what, because she’s rich and not intelligent like you?” 

“Yeah”

“Y/N, are you the only fifth year girl left?” Kim Seokjin raised his eyebrow and motioned towards you with half a cookie.

“yeah, just me, Soph and a few hyper first years downstairs, who I’m refusing to babysit by the way, they can stay up all night for as much as I’m bothered, But I guess Sophie won’t be staying tonight if this situation goes down how it usually does” 

“oh right, well if you want some company I’m very happy to come and I’m sure the other boys will too. All the teachers have gone home now anyway, we won’t get caught”

“But what about the younger girls?”

“We’ll make sure they don’t say anything don’t worry ”

“Are you sure? You really don’t have to do this Jin”

“Oh shut up, I’m not letting any girl be alone on christmas eve”

“Oh ok then, thank you” You smiled and offered him another cookie which he gladly took.

8pm,

“I’m going home” Sophie announced whilst picking up her designer suitcase and handbag.

“Ah so I gathered” You replied and sat on my bed.

“Y/N! Love Actually or Elf?” Hoseok burst through the wooden door with DVD cases in either hand.

“Bringing boys into the dormitory now are we?” Sophie tutted and push past Hoseok with her head held high. 

“Damn” he remarked with raised brows.

“haha Love Actually, OF COURSE” replied and ran to the common room to join the rest of them.

By 10pm Y/N had fallen into a deep slumber against the arm of the well-loved sofa in the common room. The fires heat blazing against her skin and the unconscious caress of Kim Taehyung around her ankle in his still lap.

Only the sixth year boys were still awake, having a meaningful heart-to-heart about the past year. It had been one with lows, but also unbelievable highs that made each other and their families proud. 

Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon have decided they would be going to university next year whilst Jung Hoseok had decided to go travelling and explore his roots in South Korea amongst other places.

They laughed and drank their eggnog in high spirits as their eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier and heavier.

25th December, Christmas Day

You woke up to the unpleasant yet somehow adorable squealing and screaming from the first years downstairs. 

“Merry Christmas Y/N” Taehyung whispered as he watched you wake up.

“Merry Christmas” You smiled and gave him a friendly hug. Although he returned a soft squeeze he did so with a mournful expression.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“The kids just remind me of how the parents stop caring when you get to our age. They just send you away and pretend you don’t exist for five years” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. None of us have been sent a Christmas gift from our families since we left Korea 5 or 6 years ago”

“Awh, nevermind, I haven’t got anything either haha”

He chuckled and sat up straight, moving my legs off his lap, walking over the other maroon sofa and waking up his friends.

“What do you call a man who claps at christmas?” Jin holds the small peice paper up.

“I don’t know?” 

“Santaapplause” he broke into hysterics making everyone else laugh with him.

Ring. Ring. Your phone sounded and everyone’s fun  to stare at you.

“Answer it then. None of us get Christmas calls” Namjoon said with an undertone if jealousy.

You flip over your mobile and see who’s calling. Sophie Sparks.

“Merry Christmas!” She says overly seeetly and obviously insencire.

“Merry Christmas?” You question.

“Yeah, so my parents are, of course, disgusted by your behaviour yesterday and have contacted Mrs Hail to request you expelled. So honey, enjoy your Christmas but don’t forget that with grades like yours you’re bound to be gone in the next month”

”ugh! You bitch”

She hung up.

She wasn’t wrong though; you had been falling behind in a couple of your classes due to your want of a better social life. It was worth it but now it was probably going to bite back. The only choice you had now was to succeed far beyond academic expectations so that the school had no choice but to keep you.

“Who was that?“ Jimin asked.

“No one don’t worry”

“Ah ok. I think the grinch is on TV, you guys wanna watch?”

The room echoed with sarcastic “woo”s and “hell yeah”s from the other boys, you watched as Jimin’s expression dropped and he turned to pout at you.

“I’ll watch it with you” you giggle and pat the seat next to you, preparing for his descent.

“Thankyou” he mumbled and put his arm around your shoulders.

“Ummm Y/N has boys in the common room!“ you heard a young voice say.

The first years had appeared by the stairwell sporting their new attire, including mainly onesies and deelyboppers.

“Oh my gosh, my mummy says boys only want one thing and that’s what’s in your pants” another fresh faced girl joins in.

“Girls either shut up or go back to your dorms” You say.

“Nuh-uh we’re going to tell Mrs Hail about this” The girl replies.

“Too bad she’s not here, now do as Y/N says and go back to your dorms before I inform someone more important than Mrs Hail about your non-compliance. You’d get in a lot of trouble believe me.“ Jin warned the group of girls. They scurried off without questioning the older boy.

“WoW they’ve really got it in for me today haven’t they, thanks Jin.“

He nodded politely and continued to make his coffee in the remarkably petite kitchen.

11pm,

The rest of the day was full of merry banter for the teenagers at silver creek. Y/N had not once thought about Sophie’s threat as she had been much too occupied by the practical jokes and amusing conversations with the Kennington boys.

She had not even realised that snow had fallen and blessed her with a white Christmas until Jung Hoseok had taken her onto the balcony late that night after everyone had fallen asleep. It was no secret that Hoseok had a soft spot for Y/N; always chatting to her when she was sat alone and always succeeding in making her laugh or at least smile. She however never saw the other side to Jung Hoseok, always taking him as a cheerful and happy kind of man.

They sat there enclosed in the white fluffy blanket they found in the dormitory sipping their hot cocoas and discussing things like the future and the past, their friends and their wishes. She thinks that perhaps the last time they had spoken like this was years ago when they were barely 11 and 12. Of course, much had changed, he now wanted to be a professional dancer or performer, in the west end he said, and she wanted to be a writer or a teacher, she hadn’t decided yet. He reassured her that it’s only natural not to know at that age what you wanted to do for the rest of your life, always making sly jokes about the age gap of a year, painting himself as a much wiser man than he was.

“I must say it’s been a marvellous Christmas Y/N. I usually don’t enjoy it because it feels like I’m away from home, but this year I think I felt at home more with you and the guys than I used to with my own family”

No reply. Hoseok had been talking to himself for the past five minutes whilst Y/N had fallen asleep against him and the door behind them. Once again his half confession had been subsided by Y/N without her even realising. Christmas had drawn to a solemn close for Jung Hoseok.

 It felt for him as though he was on top of a skyscraper only to be pushed off by the force of loneliness.

[jacmu]

TAGGING: Sophie Rose & Reagan Hudson TIMEFRAME: 8/20, afternoon LOCATION: Reagan’s apartment NOTES: Reagan kisses Sophie (again) and Sophie rejects her with the most words she’s ever said. 

Reagan Hudson

Reagan had been feeling a lot better lately (okay, maybe that was because she was definitely not clean anymore, but who the fuck cares?), and she was pretty happy about it. She could actually hang out with Sophie again without feeling like she was going to puke or getting the shakes, but she was also still dealing with her very real feelings for her best friend and the fact that she wanted to kiss her every second of the day. And, sure, technically she had already done that a few days ago, when Sophie just looked so pretty and Reagan wasn't thinking and she just kissed her. They had both pretended it hadn't happened and had gone on as usual, and Reagan started to use more as she dealt with whatever feelings she was having. She was a very confident person when it came to love and positive emotions, but she wanted Sophie to be comfortable, and she had no idea what Sophie felt since they hadn't talked about it. Regardless, Sophie was talking to Reagan, saying something with a small furrow in between her eyebrows and she just looked so fucking cute and... the shorter girl leaned over and pressed a soft, meaningful kiss to Sophie's lips without even thinking about it. It lingered for a couple of seconds before she pulled back. "Sorry, couldn't help it. Continue. What were you saying?"

Sophie Rose

Sophie felt Reagan's lips on hers and cut off..... whatever it even was that she was just saying, the words already gone from her mind, and Sophie just froze. As Reagan pulled back, Sophie's eyes remained shut for a few more seconds and she swallowed, trying to figure out what was going on in her head right now. This had happened before, the kiss, and last time, Sophie had no problem brushing it off as nothing because, who knows, maybe it was? But as much as she wanted to, she couldn't brush this one off the same way. Sophie knows Reagan doesn't kiss people without it meaning something, and as her eyes finally met Reagan's, she could see the way she was looking at her. It wasn't really different than it usually is, but it was soft and sweet and maybe even adoring, and it wasn't the look you give someone when a kiss doesn't mean anything. As much as Sophie cared about her best friend - like, really cared, which she doesn't do with anyone else - this wasn't something she could do. Sophie's feelings didn't work like that. Sophie would argue that her feelings just didn't work, but she knew she could never do... this, whatever this was. She doesn't do relationships and she doesn't do more than friends. Hell, she doesn't even really do friends. Except Reagan she thought, as she's been thinking for literally every step of their relationship since the day they met. But this, she really couldn't do, and she tried to put it into words for Reagan. "We can't... do this." She paused, trying to collect her thoughts. It wasn't that she wouldn't like being with the literal sunshine that is her best friend, but Sophie wouldn't even let herself think that far. She couldn't do relationships because that part of her was broken or something; maybe it broke when her dad left and maybe that's why she doesn't let anyone close. Maybe it's just way easier to not let anyone in before they can decide they want out and she has to spend the rest of her life hating them for leaving.And even abandonment issues aside, Reagan was literal sunshine and Sophie was grumpy and rude and bitchy and didn't even care, so in what world would Sophie even be good for her, let alone good enough for her? "Sweets," she started again, giving her a sort of broken smile. "I just-... We can't do this. Or I can't do this, because I'm me and I'll-..." she trailed off, sighing and running her hand through her hair, trying to explain something she's never vocalized before. "I just know I’ll either end up hurting you or hating you and I don’t want that. Because I hate people. I do. And I don’t want to hate you like…" She paused again, but only briefly because she knew she was going to talk about her dad who she never talks about more than passing comments here and there, but of course, the girl in front of her would be the only one who she'd feel comfortable enough talking about him with. "My dad left. And I know people do that and whatever, it's whatever, but I hate him. I hate him for breaking my mom and I hate him for leaving my sisters and I hate him for making me feel like he was gonna be there. I hate that I trusted him and he left. And if... if something happens here, I think I’ll hate you and I don’t want to. And I don’t want to get scared and hurt you first either because I fuck things up like that. So I just... can't." Sophie took a breath, finally, and dropped her gaze to her own hands. She had never in her life said so much about anything, let alone about her own insecurities, which she strictly never talked about it. She didn't regret sharing any of it with Reagan, she was more comfortable than she would have thought sharing it with her, it was just a lot all at once.

Reagan Hudson

Reagan listened silently as Sophie talked... and it was a lot. She didn’t really expect anything from the other girl—the kiss really was just. She couldn’t help it, just like the other one. And she figured this one would go by not talked about, which was fine with her, and they’d move on. That clearly wasn’t the case. Sophie was telling her more and more that they couldn’t do this; whatever this even was, and Reagan forced herself to give her friend a small smile—not disappointed or sad, just a typical Reagan smile. “It’s okay,” she said once she was finished, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged on her couch. “I wasn’t expecting anything, so I want to do whatever you’re comfortable with, Soph,” her voice was genuine as she tried to convey that she isn’t mad. Reagan has never been the type of person to be stung by rejection, despite this one hurting the worse, and she tried to distract her thoughts from going into the dark place. The place that told her Sophie didn’t like her and all the reasons why. The place that made her want to reach her hand into her pocket and toss back an oxy. “But just—forgetting about that, I’m always going to be here for you. I’m not leaving. It’s okay that you don’t want to do anything or be anything with me, it’s whatever you want.” Reagan sighed and shot a smile at the other girl. “But I need you to know I’m gonna be here.” It was true, and Reagan had realized — after a couple weeks of knowing about her feelings for Sophie and being relatively comfortable and fine with them — that she needed to move on. Sophie didn’t want her like that, and that was okay, but she needed to move on. She needed to get her feelings for Sophie far, far out of the way so their friendship would be okay. And as much as she wanted to ignore the fact that it hurt her inside knowing Sophie didn’t want her, she couldn’t. So, she pushed it away into the place she only deals with by getting high on pills and being drunk out of her mind.Reagan tried to get her bearings enough to give her friend another smile, this one more strained, because she was hurting and her hand slipped to feel the comfort of the pills in her pocket, knowing they were right there. “It’s okay, Soph. I’m okay with whatever you’re comfy with. We can do whatever you want.”

Sophie Rose

Sophie felt like she didn't have any words left in her, which is something she was far, far more familiar with than whatever the fuck just spilled out of her. She didn't know she had the ability to talk that much to begin with, nor did she ever plan to let her feelings out like that, especially those feelings. She sat there listening to Reagan talk, her eyes averted most of the time, focused instead on her own hands and the way her fingers moved against each other. She believed Reagan, sure, she knew she meant what she was saying, but Sophie didn't know what to do with that. If Reagan left even now, it would hurt, but taking another step, a step she had never in her life considered taking, that would make it all the worse.  She nodded along to what Reagan was saying, not really sure what to say now that's she said so much. She finally looked up at her friend, seeing her strained smile, and her gaze dropped again immediately. She knew she was hurting Reagan, which was the last thing she wanted, but she knew she didn't know how to do this and she couldn't do this and that would just hurt Reagan all the more. It was never a lack of caring enough about the other girl. In fact, Reagan kissing her hadn't made her uncomfortable, it wasn't a bad kiss, but Sophie was way too deep into her own head to even realize what that meant.She fiddled with her fingers for a few seconds, nodding again at Reagan's reassuring words. "I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you," was all she get herself to respond with, and it came out more mumbled and quiet than the usual confidence Sophie spoke with. Sophie's head was overwhelming right now and it had her not knowing what to do. She wanted to leave and go for a long walk and maybe a small part of her also wanted to pull Reagan's hand into her lap like she's done before in times where her thoughts were swimming and the words weren't coming to her, but she knew she just gave up any possibility of anything physical. So she sat with her own hands in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers, not really sure what to do next.

Reagan Hudson

Reagan smiled again at her best friend, almost brokenly, because she was hurting and she didn't really know what to do with it. Any negative emotion or negative feeling, Reagan shoved down and piled deflection and jokes on top of it. She was going to have to do the same with this, but this one stung. It hurt and she needed to move on. That's what she was telling herself, over and over again. She wasn't upset or angry with Sophie for not wanting her. Who would want you, anyway? Reagan shook her head slightly, more so at herself and her own dark thoughts creeping in than anything else. She shoved them away. Far, far away, and kept her smile up. "You won't." It was true - there wasn't a world in which Reagan could see Sophie not in her life, and she was confident they would make it through this, because as much as her heart was clenching in her chest, as much as her mind was telling her that she ruined things with Sophie and lost her best friend and that her best friend wanted anyone but her (like Bellamy), they were Reagan and Sophie. Eventually, this will be better.She wanted to leave, but she didn't want Sophie to think that she was angry with her or upset or that their friendship wasn't okay, because it was, Reagan just couldn't handle being as sober as she was right now. But, she sat there, fiddling with the loose string on her jeans and waiting for Sophie to leave first. A little because she didn't want Sophie to think she was upset with her, but mostly because she didn't want Sophie to think she was walking out on her like the girl's dad did years ago. She wasn't going to give Sophie the image of her walking out the door and let her best friend think she won't be coming back, even for a second. So she clenched her jaw, gaze stuck on the space of couch in between them. She knew it was only a matter of time before Sophie is the one who bolts, which is fine, because that means Reagan can go out and get fucked out of her mind and not think about the aching in her chest. "You can go, y'know," Reagan told her softly, knowing how uncomfortable her best friend was right now - being able to see it and just knowing Sophie. "I know you're uncomfortable. It's okay, you can go on one of your infamous Sophie walks." Reagan let out a laugh, glancing up at the other girl. "It's okay."

Sophie Rose

Sophie let out a breath of a laugh, or tried at least. "Infamous," she repeated and tried for a smile. "I'm not... uncomfortable with you," she tried to reassure Reagan. "I'm never uncomfortable with you." And she wasn't. She was uncomfortable sitting in everything she just aired out and she was uncomfortable with the fact that she couldn't just feel things like a normal fucking person. She was uncomfortable with the fact that she didn't know how to do this, but Reagan herself never made Sophie uncomfortable. Like, ever, which was kind of unnerving in itself. Sophie was torn because she did want to leave for a walk, but she didn't want to leave if that was going to mess anything up. She knew she was being awkward by not knowing what to do, but she'd always been awkward with feelings. She didn't want her and Reagan's relationship to suffer - that was the whole point of what she had spewed out - but she also didn't want to stay if Reagan wanted her to go, because that would just make things even worse. She needed to be with her thoughts right now, but even still, she almost asked the girl in front of her if she wanted to come along - maybe out of habit at this point since they spend so much time together. Instead, she just settled on "okay" and a nod. She stood up from the couch they were sitting on, forcing her hands in her pockets to avoid fidgeting anymore. She wanted to say something reassuring, maybe even use those two words she'd let slip out before, but she didn't know if this was the right time or if it'd just hurt even more. "I'll text you later." Sophie gave her half of a smile, a more genuine one, less forced than they had been for the last few minutes, before she finally made her way to the door. She turned and gave Reagan one more smile before heading out with no idea as to where she was going, but that never mattered.

[writing-to-stay-awake]

Well, if you still can’t sleep... all the other numbers that haven’t been answered yet! 👀

WOW Soph. That’s a lot of numbers. 

But I am bored in class so. 

3.three songs that you connectwith right now.

Oliver Riot- AlcatrazFARR – IndecisionFlorence + The Machine - Moderation

4.would you have sex with thelast person you text messaged?

Not even a little chance.

5.have you taken someonesvirginity?

Yes.

6.how many people of theopposite sex do you fully trust?

Like, 2. Maybe.

7.if you could, would you takeback your last kiss?

Nah.

8.who would you like to see inconcert?

I’m only going to pick oneinstead of prattling on forever.King Princess.

11.do you think you’ll changein the next 3 months?

I sure as hell hope so.Stagnation is death.

13.a song you’d listen toduring soft/slow/passionate sex?

Totally dependent on who itswith.

14.have any pets?

Not anymore. ☹

15.do you want to have kids?How many?

I don’t wanna personally popout kids. I’d consider adoption or kids from a partner if they wanted them.

16.do you have piercings? Howmany?

Five. All in the ears.

17.do you miss anyone from yourpast?

Absolutely. It’s hard. But youjust choose to keep moving.

18.what are you craving rightnow?

A Chick-Fil-A biscuit and somecoffee.

19.have you ever brokensomeone’s heart?

Yeah. I’m not proud of it.

20.have you ever been cheatedon?

More than once.

21.have you made aboyfriend/girlfriend cry?

See above number 19. Yes.

22.do you believe in true love?

True love? A single soulmateout there for everyone? No. Growing love and changing love. And expanding love.And supportive love. Yeah. I think that’s out there.

23.favourite weather?

Warm and drizzling rain probably.Or warm and sunny with like…..30% humidity. A nice comfortable atmospheric blanketwithout smothering you.

24.do you like the snow?

I love the snow as long as I’mnot stuck in it.

25.do you wanna get married?

I don’t know about marriage. Committedrelationship, yes.

26.is it cute when a boy/girlcalls you baby?

Nope. Please no. I’ve got otherpreferred terms.

29.what’s your favorite pastadish?

Cavatelli.

30.what color do you reallywant to dye your hair?

31.what’s your favorite eyecolor?

Hazel. But all the others areall wonderful as well. (Say yes to brown eyes too!)

32.talk about your favoritebag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

It is beat to hell. But hasbeen the most faithful. Has survived over 10+ years. It was the biggest bag Icould find in Elementary school. When all the other bags I’d gotten ripped orbroke, this one survived. Through flood and interstate travel. It’s been therethrough it all.

33.are you a morning person?

I’m not a real grouch in themorning. I won’t die if I don’t have a coffee. But I have trouble with alarmsand I prefer to be a night person.

34. what’s the weirdest placeyou’ve ever broken into?

I wouldn’t call it “broke into”so much as trespassed into an old mental asylum. That place was haunted I’mconvinced.

35.what are the shoes you’vehad for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Vanssss. The pair I woreforever I literally wore till I blew the sole out. Ooof. So I bought new vans 😊

37.tell us a story of somethingthat happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

I lived next to a grocery storeone year. My friends and I had a lot to drink and I ended up running one aroundin a shopping cart in their parking lot once.

38.do you have a favoritecoffee shop? describe it!

I don’t! I make most of my own coffee at homecause I’m cost-effective in my caffeine addiction!

39.who was the last person yougazed at the stars with?

Um. Kate? I think? It was a longtime ago.

40.what was your biggest fearas a kid? is it the same today?

This sounds weird. I was prettyscared of my dreams? They used to really creep me out and be pretty scary stuffand I had a really hard time cause I had a hard time figuring out if I wasawake or sleeping sometimes. It’s gotten way better now cause I figured out I’mgenerally a lucid dreamer and if something starts to make me nervous I canchange the dream or give myself a solution.

41.do you like buying CDs andrecords? what was the last one you bought?

I used to like it. Back when Iwas an early teen and had no actual money. Now I’m a plebe who just pays forstreaming privileges.

43.what are your favorite memesof the year so far

Um. I dunno? What even are thememes this year?

45.what’s the stupidest giftyou’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Stupidest gift I’ve ever given?Uhhhhhhhh. I gave my old boss a mug that had the Morton’s salt girl saying “Don’tbe salty Bitch.” But Personally I found that was AMAZING. And She loved it.Stupidest gift I ever received was a walking talking crazy baby doll thing frommy grandma once. Even though she knew that was NOT my cup of tea. I took itback and got the money for it. Also, I’ve received a back scratcher. And someother useless things.

46.what are some of your worst habits?

Staying up way too late.Picking at the skin around my thumbnails. Forgetting one item in my car andhaving to walk all the way back down the street to get it.

48.tell us about your pets!

☹

50.are you in the minionhateclub or fanclub?

I’m in the “I don’t think aboutminions” club.

51.what’s one of the cutestthings someone has ever done for you?

I would give this person abunch of music I listen to. She burned a CD of all her favorite ones so we hadsomething to listen to in the car when we took a trip.

53.what’s some of your favoritealbum art?

Mayday Parade.

54.are you planning on gettingtattoos? which ones?

Yes. Not settled yet which iswhy I haven’t gotten more.

59.what do you do when you’resad?

Listen to music and drivearound the city mostly.

60.what are some things you dowhen you can’t sleep?

Read. Write. Draw. Music.Podcasts. If all of that fails, I usually lay down, eyes closed, and try toimagine in as vivid and exact detail what I’d like to be dreaming of. SometimesI feel like I fall into that dream.

62.who is the last person youtold a secret to?

Uhhhhhhh. I honestly don’t remember.If it’s a secret I don’t usually say anything?

64.what’s your favorite food?

Tacos. Hands down.

65.what’s your secret dream?

I have not yet discovered it.But I’m still searching.

66.three songs you wererecently obsessed with.

Filious, Louis III – All myfriends are richKhalid – My badUnlike Pluto – New Life, Who Dis?

67.three songs that remind youof the person who sends this one

I can’t say three songs. It’smostly soundtracks. I.E. The Last of Us.

68. three favourite old songs

Matchbox Twenty – 3AMParamore – The Whole Misery Business AlbumThriving Ivory – Hey Lady

69.three last songs youlistened to

KSHMR, Yves V, Krewella – No RegretsDaya – InsomniaAudien, Echosmith – Favorite Sound

70.worst possible time to gethorny:

Um. Um. The grocery store. Idk.

71.have you ever had a friendswith benefits?

Yep.

72.do you believe in soulmates?

Nope.

73.Is there anyone you woulddie for?

Yes.

74.whowas the last person youcried in front of?

I don’t really do the crying infront of thing often. I literally do not know. I’m like….thinking back to thelast five years. And just. Blank. I don’t cry often period. And when I do itsusually like….in the shower. No evidence.

75.do you give out secondchances too easily?

Yes and no. I think I give outchances to anyone who genuinely asks for them. Sometimes it bites. Sometimes itdoesn’t. That’s fine.

76.is it easier to forgive orforget?

Forgive. And it feels bettertoo.

77.is this year the best yearof your life?

NO.

78.do you have trust issues?

Another yes and no. I trustpeople. I just have an abundance of self-doubt that makes it hard to believesome things.

79.who/what was your last dreamabout?

Would you believe me if I toldyou I was monster hunting? Man IDK. They’re weird. My favorite lately has beengetting stuck in a Walmart inhabited by a cult of some kind and spending the wholedream trying to get out. Nuts.

80.wouldyou go back in time if you were given the chance?

Yeahsure. Everyone always talks about younger times like “WOW that whole time was amistake everyone was awful.” But I don’t really think that. I have some thingsI’d wanna do better.

There’s your answers!