#love how the finale episode still manages to punch in this extra punch of horror about eotw

[wykwryt]

god imagine being the Titan watching the events of edge of the world.

[cheelduh]

How to Not Kill a Ginger (High School Au!)

Part 5 to the series hehehe

Parts: 1 2 3 4

Pairing: Childe x fem!reader

Synopsis: Childe’s stomach stirs when you take care of him, and he’s not sure if it’s because of his major crush on you or just plain old diarrhea.

Warnings: Swearing. Graphic descriptions involving the true idiocy of teenage boys.

Words: Abt 2.6k

Note: Sorry I sort of half assed this. I have big ideas for the next part tho ✨😮‍💨

If there's one thing you're sure of, it's that Teucer knows how to throw one hell of a tantrum.

Him and his brother, Anthon, under your watch, manage to get into a petty squabble that's been airing for the last fifteen minutes. You've done everything, from offering candy to promising an extra hour on the switch, but your efforts do not bear fruit.

What did you tell Childe again? Oh yeah, that babysitting kids was a breeze. Apparently it's not a breeze. Maybe something more like a shart. A chunky, messy one at that.

"Listen dude," You reason to Anthon, the oldest of the bunch gently. "Where did you hide his toy?"

Anthon sticks a tongue out at you, and you nearly cry at the intensity of the insult. "Not telling."

Your patience runs thin.

"C'mon Anthon," Tonia lectures from her chair on the table like the godsend she is. "Just give him his toy back. You're being so annoying." She's taking the words right out of your mouth.

"Not until he apologizes!" Anthon crosses his arms, huffing. "He ate my cheese string!"

"There are more cheese strings!" You exclaim, opening the fridge to prove your point. "I'm sure Teucer's sorry for taking yours. Just pick another one."

"But it's not the same! He took the last cheddar and mozzarella one, now there are only mozzarella ones left." He speaks in between Teucer's wails. You wonder if this is a daily occurrence.

Tonia sighs, gets up from her chair, and hands the eldest her cheese string. "Just take this and give him his toy back."

Almost immediately, Anthon reaches a hand behind the tv table and pulls out the miniature Mr. Cyclops, then throws it point blank at Teucer's feet.

Teucer wails louder.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, shoulders sagging under the stress of being a temporary teenage mother.

Then you take a deep breathe, voice booming over Teucer's cries, Anthon's grumbling, and the clicking of Tonia's tongue. "Let's make a cake!"

Everything in the room stills. Even Teucer's loud cries comes to a halt, and he inhales so sharply that the streak of snot over his lip goes right back into its origin.

You wince inadvertently.

"Poggers!" Anthon cheers, and his siblings join in, laughing and clapping in excitement.

Tonia's eyes widen in confusion when she briefly pauses from her rally. "Wait a minute. What are we celebrating? We can't bake a cake for no reason! It won't taste nearly as good."

Everyone stops to ponder.

Then you snap your fingers in realization, and the kids huddle around you. "How about a 'get well better' cake for your big brother?"

They erupt in cheers again, but you shush them gently, wink an eye for extra measure. "We have to be quiet! He won't get better if we wake him."

The three nod in understanding and begin shushing each other, failing to conceal their giggles.

As you watch them making their way into the kitchen, bounce in their steps, you can't stop the warm smile that reaches your eyes.

That smile soon becomes a frown of horror when Anthon cracks an egg over Tonia's head.

-

The cake is not half as bad as you thought it would be initially. Between mixing the ingredients and ceasing the kids minus Tonia from being menaces to society, you were able to find middle ground.

Eventually Anthon found interest in finding ways to lick the batter whenever you turned around, and Teucer found comfort in your left leg, latching onto it as if it were a life line.

Just like how Venti latches onto his stupid little bottle of wine disguised as a water bottle. Seriously, you’ve never talked to him sober, and at this point are afraid of what’s he’s like lucid.

Tonia had been the only one taking things seriously for the most part, except for the sprinkles-to-icing ratio. She drowned the entire cake in sprinkles, the mere sight adding on the ghost of an ache in your teeth.

It looks like twilight sparkles took a fat dump on it.

"Okay besties," You inwardly curse yourself for giving into Gen-Z vocabulary as you brush your hands on the apron. "I think we've done a pretty decent job."

"It looks so pretty!" Tonia grins widely, eyeing the edible pearls she strategically placed. She quickly strikes down a finger Anthon tried to poke into the icing, with the accuracy of a true warrior.

You shudder at the thought of Childe teaching her how to stab someone with safety scissors.

"Can we add candles?" Teucer asks, but Tonia clicks her tongue in distaste.

"It's not a birthday cake." She crosses her arms judgementally. The power in her glare reminds you of La Signora, strangely enough.

You ruffle his copper coloured locks anyways, and his grip on your thigh tightens. "We can add candles if you want Teucer."

He nods his head and snuggles deeper into the side of your leg. Your heart warms up considerably.

After the candles are poked in, you try to shrug him off. "C'mon dude, just for five minutes. You don't want me to drop the cake before your brother can get a bite do you?"

Reluctantly, he obliges, and runs off to help Tonia collect utensils to take up to Childe's room.

Anthon's on door duty, kicking away any toys that serve as obstacles in your way like a professional soccer player.

Once you four make it up the stairs in front of the designated room, Anthon doesn't bother knocking. He barges in like he owns the place, chin up high and a signature smirk on his face that he probably learnt from his older brother.

Childe fumbles awake, kicking the air whilst in shock by the chaotic sound of the door hitting the wall and Teucer screaming "Happy Birthday!" at the top of his miniature sized lungs as he runs in to plop right on top of his older brother.

His bewildered expression soon turns into something of a loving smile as he begins to process what is happening, eyes lighting up despite the deep bags that frame them.

Tonia places the plates on his side table, right next to the empty soup bowl you placed there earlier. She climbs up onto the bed as well to join in on the hug.

Anthon approaches at last, hands in his pockets as he coolly acknowledges his older brother. Instead of a bone-crushing hug like the other two are indulging in, his opts for a fist bump that Childe happily reciprocates.

Then finally, between the shield that are his siblings, his cerulean eyes land on your near the doorway, then trail down to the cake in your oven-mittened hands. He averts his gaze back to your own, and grins so wide his cheeks start to throb.

"Big brother! We made you cake." Teucer moves his head from his chest to face him. "So you can get better."

Childe's laughs ring in your ears, but you don't shy away from the sound. It's a pleasant, something that you wish to hear more of in the near future. Sure enough he laughs a lot at school, but the genuineness of it at home, surrounded by his siblings, stirs something deep within you.

"How thoughtful of you." He ruffles his hair, then his eyes widen as he ushers the two off of him. "You guys can't be near me! I don't want you to fall ill as well."

"But-but how will we feed you the cake without getting close to you?" Tonia frowns, and her two brothers nod in unison.

You chuckle lightly, approaching the bed with the cake in your hands. "I'm sure he has enough strength to feed himself. The hugs and kisses surely must've energized him."

To be honest, Childe's all green in the face and the last thing on his mind would be to indulge in the cake. You understand the feeling all to well. With his nose clogged up, throat all sore, there's no way he'll stomach it. It took a lot of nagging on your part to get him to finish the soup earlier as well.

He blows the candles anyways, clapping along his siblings and letting Tonia drop a fat chunk of the golden cake onto his plate. You find it endearing, regrettably so. His dedication to keeping their dreams is admirable in more ways than you can count.

This is the same guy that wears meme shirts to school, topped off with douchey sunglasses to give him a pristine vibe. The same guy that punches holes in walls like a Kyle. The very boy that flexes his toned biceps in-front of you during lunch time, successfully ruining your appetite.

"Wait a minute..." Childe inspects the cake closely, narrowing in on the candles. "Why is there an eleven?"

Teucer scratches his neck sheepishly. "Those were the only candles we had left."

After another short-lived laugh, Childe manages a bite as everyone stares in expectation, the sound of a tight crunch enveloping the room, making you grimace in secret. If Childe feels like puking out his guts right now, he's doing a hell of a job hiding it from his darling siblings.

You're glad nobody forces you to take a bite, or it would've been a double homicide right then and there.

Soon enough, one by one the children file out of the room, satisfied with their visit. The reality is that they don't want to miss an episode of backyardigans.

Once they leave, you approach him with a napkin. He gets the gist, spitting out the remnants of the cake you slaved over for about two hours.

"Colour me impressed." You snort, moving the cake aside so you can take a seat on the open space next to him. "How're you feeling?"

"Amazing." He exclaims, eyes red like a crackhead's, nose runny, with goosebumps kissing his pale skin. He sure does look...amazing.

"Cool." You say, abruptly getting up. "I'm gonna vibe with the kid—"

His hand shoots out from underneath the blanket, clammy palms wrapping around your wrist to keep you locked in place. You gulp in anticipation.

"You kissed me." Childe reminds you, eyes twinkling in mischief, a vicious grin plastered over his stupidly handsome face.

You try not to choke on your words. "You have circumstantial evidence at most." No attempts are utilized to pull away from him.

He raises a teasing brow, and you give in because the tension is thick. Thicker than the tension between Albedo and Kaeya when the latter shamelessly unzips his front to show more of his biddies. You have no idea why he hasn’t been dress coded yet.

"Fine." You snap out of your impure thoughts, and huff out, frustrated all over. "I kissed you on the cheek."

"Still a kiss though."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes. Also, cute nails." He points out, hand moving down to grasp your fingers. The act is intimate, his caress gentle and caring. Despite his brash, violent personality, he shows you a completely different side to him that hatches butterflies in your stomach.

"Thanks." You show off the bright jewels on your index. "You have a real nail technician in the house."

Tonia has some serious talent.

When he taps one of the jewels, you slap his hand away. "Careful there dude. These cost me a fortune."

His chuckles die down and he smiles again, but this time apologetically. "They didn't trouble you too much did they? I know they can be loud."

"I like loud." You answer him truthfully. "They're fun to be around. Not nearly as chaotic as you."

He blinks in mock offence, eyes narrowing shrewdly. "You come into my house, talk to my siblings, and have the nerve to insult me? Right after taking advantage of me?"

"If you don't shut up, I'll also have the nerve to rip you a new one." You reply dryly with the innocent curl of your lips.

"Bet."

You're about to lunge at him and scream a string of obscenities that no one has ever heard of before, but the Archons are listening and you don't want his siblings to grow up without someone to look up to. Wait a minute—scratch that. You'd be doing them a favour if you wiped his existence right here and now.

You have a fragile heart though. So you sigh, and grab a fistful of sheets in both hands instead.

Childe's grin turns into a petrified scowl.

"Oh no," He pleads, weakly fighting you back. "Have mercy! Please!"

You have loads of mercy. Just not enough for him.

When you have him wrapped in a successful bundle, Childe can’t help but beam, laying limp in his confines.

“What are you smiling about?” You inquire, pulling out the medicine from his box, pausing momentarily in shock. “Wait a minute, don’t tell me you’re into these things you freak.” Head snaps up so fast you nearly suffer from whiplash.

He’s about to answer you but his words turn into a fit of shallow coughs.

“I’m into whatever you’re into.” Childe’s shrug is nonchalant. “Even if that means I have to be tied up. Kinky by the way.” He winks, and you roll your eyes, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as you hold the spoon up. The dark reddish medicine swirls in deep hues.

“Shut up and open your mouth.”

“Girlie, I don’t think you understand how contradicting that statement is.”

You momentarily wonder if it’s too late to abort yourself.

—

Childe awakens at the crack ass of night, sweat slick, sticky all over, tousled hair sticking to his forehead. He’s a panting mess, eyes darting around the dark room, inhaling, exhaling, mind in a haze from the fever. Gaining somewhat of a grip on reality, he fumbles around to turn on his lamp, throat parched and in need of water.

When he manages to find the switch, he recoils at the brightness, adjusting to the sudden change in his vision. On his side table, there’s a bologna sandwich tucked safely in plastic wrap, a glass of room temperature water, and a bottle of painkillers.

His eyes disregard most of the things, finding interest in the bright pink sticky note next to the painkillers. Unable to ignore the dryness of his throat and the pounding of his head, he quickly gulps a pill down with most of the water, instantly feeling the relief of hydration.

Then, he pounces on the note, giddiness overtaking him despite the pang in his muscles, and the general feeling of absolute shit.

I had to leave. Don’t worry about your siblings, they’re all tucked in and fine. Except for Anthon maybe. Apparently he’s mildly lactose intolerant and thought it was a good idea to overdose on chocolate milk when I was busy with Teucer. Anyways, get better soon stupid.

— Y/N

He safely tucks the note under his pillow, edges of his lips turned upwards, warmth flooding his veins when he takes another look around his surroundings.

The room itself is cleaned, floor cleared from the initial clutter and the cool shiny collector’s knives he buys off of Amazon safely hung over the wall, not littered on his desk like they usually are.

The homework he was supposed do, but most likely wouldn’t, is already completed, stacked neatly atop each other.

Childe swears his heart bursts in his chest, exploding into tiny particles that overheat his entire body.

There’s no way in hell a few days worth of homework is gonna bring his failing mark up, but then again it’s the thought that counts.

While the sandwich is catered to his nausea, bland and plain for easy digestion, an easy fill, it’s the best meal he’s ever had in his life.

[diaco1968]

Of Proud Fragile Hearts

Bakugou x reader

Angst, Blood is mentioned, Hanahaki disease

Under the cut cause it got too long :')

"What is your problem, Katsuki?"

You whisper yelled at Bakugou after everyone else had already left the conference room, closing the door and locking it as you turned to face the boy, leaning back in his chair, arms tightly crossed over his broad chest, scowling.

In the past few months that you two have been secretly hooking up, he had gone through not caring about your daily life, to trying to make you listen to his healthy tips, to fleeting episodes of jealousy and then some. Yet when you pointed it out to him he would deny it. Usually either by changing the subject and leading it to your usual ordeal of a hook up or if he was still feeling possesive by moving straight to pinning you down and shutting you up by some steamy make out session. Either way, the hook up is what would happen and then you'd both go away on your separate daily lives.

You had grown fund of him enough not to mind getting together with him if he was the one who'd step up first. Hell you would love to. He was hot, he knew how to spoil you, he remembered little things and despite his fiery temper he knew how to treat you properly like a woman. To sum it up, he was boyfriend material. Except he was emotionally unavailable. And you were fine with that. But recently as you started making friends with Kaminari, Bakugou also started acting up. You two acted like mere acquaintances in public and in the agency it was lonely. Then there was Kaminari, the Pikachu. He was easy to be around, easy to talk to and easy to listen to. So you befriended him. It was really nothing at all. You'd hang out with him when you couldn't hang out with Bakugou. Much to Bakugou's dismay, those times would be right in front of his eyes, earning you dirty looks and some sulking episodes every time.

And now only minutes ago during the briefing, he had been sitting across from you and Kaminari, and when Kaminari said anything he would mock and humiliate him. It was hard to even watch so you stood up for him and Bakugou shot you a nasty look before he stopped participating all together. Honestly you were glad he didn't start mocking you instead. But this behaviour towards the poor guy was unacceptable. He didn't even know why he was being targeted by Bakugou's wrath.

His eyes shot up to yours not believing what he was hearing. "What is my problem?! What the fuck is your problem!" He shot back, earning a 'Shhh!'  from you. "You had no business picking on Denki like that." You scolded and he sneered "Denki?" You rolled your eyes glaring at him as he went on "you had no business sitting with Denki the whole day long. You had no business snickering and chatting and flirting with him during the conference like that. You had no fucking business standing up to me for him!" He leaned forward in his chair, placing his arms on his knees.

"We were not flirting! Everyone knows about his crush on that recruit from the IT for fuck's sake. And Denki is my friend, Bakugou! Who are you? Should I have been sitting by you? Chatting you up?" You said harshly, sarcasm dripping off of your last few words. To his sheer surprise, he felt his chest tighten from the way you addressed him with his last name right after you called Kaminari by his first name. He knew you had a point. He knew he was the one setting things up the way they were, for his work always came first and in his path to success there was no place for a full time partner or dealing with the rumours of one even existing. He knew he had no right to complain about this now. Yet, he couldn't help the pang of jealousy that rose deep in his heart whenever he saw you hanging out with that dunceface so freely.

Your keen eyes seemed to have caught him slightly off guard and your own pent up hurt and rejection clawed at your logic before you could stop yourself and you went in for another low blow "even if I am flirting with anyone, it is none of your business unless it gets physical. That was the deal. Take it or leave it."

His jaw visibly clenched, nostrils flaring as he inhaled sharply before snorting "so that's the problem. You already have some one else for back up to warm your bed just in case, huh?" there was no way to take it back now, and he was too angry to try. You watched him in silence, disbelief and hurt written all over your face. At first he felt triumphant for rendering you speechless with his snarky remark but seeing the hurt in your eyes and your pursed lips he regretted opening his mouth at all. He wished you would just yell at him, punch him even. But you did nothing as a few minutes of torturous silence passed on between the two of you, your eyes searching his face for a sign that the man you loved and cared for didn't actually come to know you as such a person he just described. You had thought you were at least friends. He opened his mouth when he saw your eyes started to glisten but before he could say anything, you exploded.

"You know what Bakugou! Fuck you! You and your whole bullshit!" You threw the first thing you could grab at him which happened to be an empty glass, that missed his head when he docked shattering on the wall behind him. "You're so emotionally unstable, you don't even know what the fuck you want yourself! Let alone get to know anyone else you arrogant piece of shit!"

His brief sadness from making you upset faded from his mind as rage took it's place filling him up to the brim and spilling out as he shot up in his place, his chair scraping on the floor and falling back. He slammed his hands on the table in front of him, saying words he had come to feel anxious even thinking about hearing "oh fuck it all to hell. You wanna know what I want, fuckwipe? You're a waste of time, I want this over and done with. We're through!" He headed for the door walking right past you.

His insult really dealt some heavy damage on your pride as angry tears filled up your eyes and you gathered all you had not to let them spill "fine with me Fuckboy! Go be a nuisance to someone else!"

He had his hand on the doorknob, knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping it with anger, he pulled it once and found it locked. Not bothering to unlock it, he exploded the whole thing open loudly, the door turning on it's hinges and slamming on the opposite wall, him stepping out and leaving amidst the dust barking at the peering colleagues who scattered away immediately "what?! Get back to work extras!"

You left the room after you made sure he was gone, hoping you could hold your emotional breakdown in the whole way home, having to raise your hand up to your mouth to suppress the multiple coughs as you inhaled the dust from the explosion.

He kicked his boots off, threw his jacket to the side and plopped down on the couch covering his face with his hands and releasing a heavy groan "ugh what the actual fuck did I say... stupid fucking dumbass..." his hands were cold and fingers shaky from the after effects of the rage leaving his body but he was too stubborn to let remorse invade his mind yet. Not fully at least. You were at fault too! "She shouldn't have provoked me like that! Annoying brat!" He spat as he lay down on the couch, but In the back of his mind, your hurt glistening eyes and shocked expresseion was creeping in the darker abyss of his brain, haunting him slowly. Then his mind wandered to the argument, your words resonating in his now mostly dark and empty mind.

'Who are you Bakugou?'

'Take it or leave it'

The way you said that so nonchalantly... did you not care at all if he left you?... after all you've been through? He wouldn't ever say it, but he had opened up to you more than anyone, you knew that. He knew you did.

'Fuckboy'

'Nuisance'

His throat constricted violently and he had to sit up and cough harshly to clear it. "Tsk fuck it. I don't give a shit." Rising from his seat he went to the fridge to get something to eat and grabbed his phone to call Eijiro to see what he was up to tonight.

~

"You've been sick for a while now, maybe you should see a doctor? It doesn't look like a simple cold..."

Bakugou waved his hand nonchalantly, dismissing Kirishima's concerns as he coughed into the palm of his other hand, shutting his eyes and trying to concentrate on controlling his breathing through his nose. Even though he feigned indifference he was worried himself too. It's been 2 weeks since the coughing started and it wasn't just coughing either. He would occasionally find himself out of breath and unable to get enough oxygen in his lungs without opening his mouth and taking in a sharp gulp of air. As if he was losing his lung capacity. '(Y/n) would know how to get rid of this...' he groaned in annoyance as he caught himself thinking about you again. You had made your choice. It was obvious. He even texted you to meet up, but you've been ignoring him ever since the argument half a month ago... felt like years...

His heart clenched, along with his jaw as he felt another epiode of coughs coming. He rose to his feet and headed for the bathroom "be back in a sec." He replied to Kirishima's questioning look with a hoarse voice. The noise cancelling bar bathroom was starting to become too familiar for his liking, as he had frequented it quite often in the past 2 weeks. Not alcoholic often, but the free time he usually spent with you was now spent working over time or with Eijiro at his favorite place...

He burst out into another coughing fit, gripping the sink as he bent over it. He could feel a hard lump move in his throat as he heaved his lungs out, finally managing to spit out what was stuck in his airways. And to his utmost horror he was not relieved at all by the sight and the sound.

What spilled out of his mouth and scattered inside the sink with soft 'thud' sound, was a fist full worth of what looked to be... seeds?!

His hand shot out and grabbed a few bringing them close to his eyes and squeeshing them between his fingers to make sure. "What the fuck...?!" He whispered mind wandering to each and everyone of his recent quarells with the villains trying to recall anyone at all with a floral quirk. Was this what caused the coughing?

It took him quite a while to get over the initial shock but when he was sure he wasn't coughing anymore he headed back to his table with Kirishima, plopping down tiredly in his seat. "You look pale bro, what's up? You weren't a light weight last time I checked." Eijiro teased, making him smirk tauntingly in reply "I can drink 5 times as much as it takes to knock you off your feet and still be barely tipsy, dumbass. Don't test me." They both laughed and Bakugou forgot about his problems for a little while, hoping spitting out those seeds was the end of it.

And it seemed to be. He hadn't coughed for a while now. At least not until the breaking news popped up over the screen right across from where he was sitting.

"The notorious spider villain escaped the law once again but hero (your hero name) managed to save all the victims, with the help of none other than hero Deku, who just landed a few hours ago for his vacation-..."

The words flashed in his mind and the voice of the reporter faded as he watched the screen showing the scene after the rescue, where you were talking to that bastard Deku, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck with a grin, like you used to do when Bakugou made you shy and you never had any idea how cute it made you look, and he was smiling down at you.

Violent coughs errupted out of his chest and he covered his mouth just in time to stop the content from spilling out as he shot up from his seat and made his way outside for some fresh air. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gasped for air lightly, leaning on his shoulder on the wall outside, opening his palm to see the same few seeds and a bunch of delicate red and white petals. He stared at his palm with wide eyes for a few more seconds before crumbling them in his fist as he felt someone's presence behind him. "I really really think you should see a doctor." Kirishima put a hand on his shoulder.

"I will. Right fucking now actually. This shit is so annoying."

~

"I said when I cough flowers come out- ugh! Hey! I know I sound crazy! Don't stare at me like that!" He let out a frustrated groan as he sat there on the bed for his check up, answering the confused doctor. "We have not encountered this before mr Bakugou, you don't sound crazy. I would have to check the database again for quirks with this kind of side effect. Meanwhile if you could... provide a sample would be really useful."

"Sure, I'll just cough my lungs out for buried seeds till you get back..." Bakugou clicked his tongue and gestured for the doctor to show it was okay to go do whatever he needed to do.

And again he sat there alone and annoyed, watching the rest of the hospital, from the little space he was provided by the door that the doctor forgot to close properly.

You always refused to close the door too...

He had forgotten how lonely a hospital felt before he had you to fuss over him as he sat there grumbling that he was fine.

He heaved a careful sigh zoning out so when he saw your face, he thought he had imagined it at first.

"Ms. (Y/h/n)! You did amazing today! The room you're looking for is just at the end of this corridor to the left. You actually did a good job finding it." The excited nurse chuckled and Bakugou snapped out of his daze hearing your muffled voice thanking her.

'Always so bad with directions...' he thought bitterly swallowing the lump that was raising in his throat in favour of getting up and following you quietly. He just wanted to know why you were in the hospital, is all. Just making sure your clumsy ass didn't hurt yourself.

He stopped outside the door you disappeared into on the other side of the corridor, blended in by the moving patients and busy staff, scoffing sarcastically as you didn't bother closing the door.

His little smile was soon gone however when he saw who you were visiting.

Sat there on the hospital bed was none other than Deku, who had his forearm wrapped in some light bandage. Probably from the rescue they showed on TV earlier. Where you were too. It was normal. You checking up on him after. Totally normal. He reminded himself. 'I could do that at home shitty nerd, no need for a hospital.'

Normal was not where it ended though and what happened next as you got up to leave had Bakugou wishing he had ripped his eyes off you and walked away the moment he had figured you were alright.

"Guess I'll be seeing you around then. Oh and Midoriya," you chuckled mischievously leaning close to whisper in the boy's ear. "I wish you luck with Ochako." Just as you expected, heat rose to his face and he flushed red to the tips of his ears as he started stuttering embarassed and his hand moved up to rub his bandaged arm "ouch!.. I mean!... thank you!"

You both jumped as you heard something metal clattering to the ground in the hallway and you peeked out to see what was going on. Much to your surprise and concern you saw a familiar spiky blonde hair a little further down the corridor. 'Katsuki?' You leaned out of the room more to see better. He looked like he had a terrible time trying to breathe, his shoulders shaking as he heaved cough after cough, bent down with his arms keeping himself up on his slightly bent knees. Your heart clenched at the sight. He looked in pain. The nurse Bakugou had supposedly crashed into, causing him to drop his metal platter to the ground put a hand on his back to try and calm him down. But Bakugou just swatted his hand away "...don't... touch..." he managed to rasp out with an unusually hoarse voice as he gained enough composure to push past the nurse and walk away, still coughing but much less violently.

"What was it?" Deku asked from inside the room.

"Nothing, just a nurse dropping a bunch of stuff..." you said quietly concealing the worry in your voice as you stared after Bakugou down the corridor even after he was already gone.

Blood. Blood and petals. And the occasional flower bloom falling out of his mouth as he coughed. He had been wiping blood off his mouth since he had gotten home from the hospital. The feeling of constantly having one of those petals sticking to the back of his trachea. It was disgusting. The sickening sweet scent filling his nose and mouth made him want to gag. They had suggested hospitalization when they couldn't find anything on his condition and he had refused. But now as the pain in his throat grew ever more intolerable, he was trying his last hope for an answer as he looked for the contact in his phone, playing with the little flower in between his fingers with his free hand absentmindedly.

'Amaryllis...'

He had looked up the shape of the flower as soon as he had seen it, washing the blood off the petals. None of this made any sense to him. How does one cough out flowers? How was this even real?

He dialed the number immediately when he saw the contact name.

"Aizawa sensei"

~

Despite your efforts to completely ignore Bakugou's existence after your 'break up', you've had Baugou back on your mind ever since a few days ago in the hospital and it wasn't in the best of ways either. His tense shaky shoulders, his harsh hoarse voice, his pained dry heaves. It all sounded and looked so serious but you had no idea what he was down with and it was killing you. You were constantly distracted and it was proving to be such a hassle. Oh how you wished you were not alone in this very moment. Alone in the middle of a crowded square full of civilians.

"What's wrong girly? Can't beat me now without that green lettuce, huh?"

Alone against this dude known as the spider villain. Who was back to take his revenge on the humiliation you and Deku gave him last encounter.

"Oh fuck off bug. Those are your last words before being sprayed back to the sewers?"

You growled getting in your fighting stance and ushering him to come at you.

Bakugou was walking down the street towards the hospital, crumbling the piece of paper with the surgeon's address and name in his fist, deep in his pocket thinking on his meeting with his former teacher a few days ago.

'Amaryllis?' Aizawa had said the moment he saw the bloom in Bakugou's hand, much to his surprise. He never took the old man as a flower person. 'I've only ever seen this once with my own eyes when I was a student myself... wouldn't believe it if I hadn't.' He had pulled out a bunch of old books handing half the stack to Bakugou, probably deliberately chosen ones as there was one on the meaning behind flowers in Bakugou's stack. As he sat down in front of the boy turning pages rapidly scanning the words, Bakugou reluctantly read the book.

'Amaryllis is the only genus in the subtribe Amaryllidinae. It is a small genus of flowering bulbs, with two species. It symbolizes pride.'

He stared at the lines, reading them over and over again with a blank face. Until Aizawa's voice broke him out of his trance.

'Hanahaki Disease is a disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated...'

He paused making Bakugou wonder if it was for adding more dramatic effects as his eyes moved up to lock with Bakugou's

'...until the victim dies unless the feelings of genuine love are returned or the plants are surgically removed but this excision also has the effect of removing the patient's capacity for romantic love. It may also erase the patient’s feelings for and memories of the enamoured.'

It was obvious what Bakugou chose. There was no place in his life for such a hassle as love. It would just get in his way anyway. What a nuisance...

'Nuisance'

'Fuckboy'

His heart clenched making a surge of pain go throught his whole body remembering your words and your tone.

"Reciprocating feelings of genuine love my ass..."

He scoffed pushing his fists deeper in his pockets to keep his shoulders from shaking as a series of coughs ripped out of his throat, staining the black mask in front of his face, with blood.

He bumped shoulders with a guy in front of a TV store who looked distraught enough not to recognize Ground Zero as he apologised and turned back to the TVs on the display in the windows.

Feeling insulted, Bakugou turned to look at what this man was watching that got him so stupid to stand in his way. The moment his eyes met the screen he felt as if his heart stopped. Hands freezing cold and eyes going wide with terror as he watched the live report of none other than you being picked up and thrown a distance away aginst a wall by some villain.

Lying there in the rubble of the building you gasped to catch your breath that flew out of you when your back hit the wall. Before you could wholly come to your senses he was above you again, grabbing you by the neck and picking you back up. Your hands shot up to grab his arm to try and relieve the pressure around your neck, your feet dangling in the air as you tried to kick him off of you but he was smart, keeping you away from himself.

"Just as I thought. I should've found the broccoli. You are a waste of time."

Bakugou's face and a bunch of memories flooded your mind and your eyes stung with unshed tears, feeling it ironic to have to hear this again in what appeared to be the final moments of your life.

The corners of your vision were blurring out as you couldn't breathe in anymore air and you were sure you imagined his voice in your head.

"Get off you fucking bastard!"

The loud growl accompanied by the sound of a loud explosion and the hand around your neck disappearing, the pressure gone. You dropped to the floor on your hands and knees gasping in and looking up to see Bakugou launching himself at the guy who was framed in the opposite wall due to the initial explosion. His bare fist met the bug man's face with a sickening 'crack' and only then did you realise he wasn't even in his hero costume.

"Bakugou... I'm fine..."

You tried calling him but your voice was too strangled. He was delivering punch after curse after punch and the guy seemed to be knocked out long ago.

"Bakugou! Stop..."

You said louder as you got to your feet making your way towards him, hesitating momentarily before grabbing his shoulder and ripping him off of the bloodied beat up guy.

"KATSUKI!"

His whole heavy sweating panting body whirled around and crashed into your arms, making you trip backwards on your feet and fall on your butt still holding him.

Very unlikely for him to be so ungraceful and fall with you like that, he would usually catch you and scold you for being clumsy. Out of habit you braced yourself for his scolding but it never came.

He started wheezing and gasping in your arms, unable to breathe, whatever air he had left in his lungs being forced out by the violent coughs that wracked through his whole body, his hands moving up to grasp at his throat squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"F-fuck... h-hurts..." he wheezed out twisting in your lap as you watched him in terror.

"W-what's wrong? Holy shit! Katsu you're turning blue!"

You didn't know what took over you as your hands moved on their own accord, grabbing his jaw, forcing his mouth open and plunging your fingers down his throat. What you pulled out would haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life.

Bakugou started gasping in big gulps of air when you removed your hands from his face, but you couldn't see him anymore. You were staring at the thing that was previously clogging his airways. A whole, leaf, stem and flower petals between your fingers, dripping with fresh blood and saliva; mouth falling open and paling even more, if possible, at the sight.

Bakugou looked up once he could breathe again and couldn't help but whimper quietly at the thing you just pulled out of his own throat. The sound making your eyes snap back on him even more concerned than when he was choking. "What the fuck is this?!" You asked showing him the flower, as if either of you could ever forget about it, instinctively cupping his cheek and stroking it with your thumb. He looked surprised and you immediately realised your mistake pulling your hand away "sorry force of habit... but... answer me!"

Your touch was soothing to the ache in his damaged throat and he was so in pain already that he didn't care if he was going to sound pathetic or needy or clingy... or... sorry. He opened his mouth to tell you to put your hand back on him but instead of words he had to cough, fresh blood mixed with the sickly sweet scent of the flower spraying over both your clothes, making you panic again.

"I'll tell you later... just... give me a sec...please..." He whispered embarassed and grabbed your hand placing it back on his cheek, lowering himself down on his shaky arms and laying over your legs exhausted. His voice sounded so tired and broken that despite yourself, you chose to just let him have a moment for now without making him talk.

~

You stroked the back of his hand absent mindedly careful not to touch the busted knuckles, watching his sleeping face as he lay in the hospital bed. He looked terrible. Pale skin, bags under his eyes. You could swear he had also lost some weight. How long has he been coughing for? How much blood?His face twisted in pain and you jumped as he stirred with a cough, opening his eyes and staring at you blankly.

His eyes moved over your features in silence with a soft expression on his own face, watching your glistening bright eyes, wide with concern. The way your hair framed your face, your eye lashes making your eyes look even more beautiful, your lips pursed with worry. Then moving as you talked...? He was so concentrated he barely heard your voice.

"...- yeah?"

"Yeah..." he replied softly.

"Yeah?!"

His mind started to clear up more as he raised an eyebrow uncertainly "uh... no?"

You laughed at his weird behaviour and he smiled. He had missed it. Missed seeing it. Hearing you laugh.

"You weren't listening to me, were you?"

He offered an apologetic look "yeah...sorry."

You shook your head softly "nah it's fine, wasn't important."

He suddenly looked very serious "No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said those things. I didn't mean any of them."

You stared at him blinking in confusion before realising what he meant. Bakugou was apologizing! You opened your mouth and closed it again, speechles. Clearing your throat you tried again.

"Yeah those really hurt..."

He could feel his heart drop as he looked at you wondering if it was actually over.

"I forgive you, stupid. Stop looking so pathetic." You rolled your eyes and grinned pinching his cheek.

"God I fucking love you so much... be mine again?"

You couldn't help blushing as you nod your head "you're such an asshole... but I can't help loving you either."

His eyes lit up, relief washing over him as he raised his hand cupping your cheek and bringing your head close, leaning in to kiss you.

"Wait! What was the deal with that flower-!"

"Shhh I'll tell you later...just..."

He looked down at your lips as he trailed off, licking his lips and pressing them against yours firmly.

And to this day, you still think he wanted to give you the flower and he chose the creepiest weirdest way to do it.

Nah just kidding.

He said he fell down and swallowed it by accident...

[that-fandom-pan]

Obey Me OC Profile!

Finally decided to post something myself here! Here’s the profile of my Obey Me OC, Rulgrodath.

Name: Rulgrodath

AKA: Ru

Birthday: Jan 13th

Zodiac: Capricorn

Favourite colour/colour scheme: Black, green, blue and silver

Scent: Ocean – seaweed, sea salt.

Height: 5’3’’

Voice: Strong but pretty quiet most of the time, very sarcastic when she’s angry, ranges between alto and soprano tones because of her music career, if she’s talking and she wants someone to hear, they know about it. Her voice is loudest when she’s angry, but she tends to go very quiet beforehand, and speaks through gritted teeth before she blows up.

Eyes: Yellow with a slit, catlike pupil

Hair: Dark brown, reaches about ¾ down her back, has a slightly lopsided fringe parting 

Body: 

Demon form: One pair of large black feathered wings with an iridescent sheen of green and blue, two sets of horns, one curling down either side of her head and two sets of horns, one curling down the sides of her head, one sticking up, green and blue scales on her temples, jaw and neck, long black green and blue feathered tail, black feathers around her shoulders and neck, usually wears a set of black gloves with two sets of finger armour on the index and middle finger of her right hand, black leggings and tank top (occasionally a black dress).

Human(ish) form: very skinny, no horns or wings, still has the scales, wears the same finger armour as in her demon form but without the gloves, hoodies or fluffy jumpers and leggings or sweatpants depending on how she feels, and a necklace Levi bought for her at a Comic Con as a sign of friendship.

Obsessions/habits: Can have severe body issues at times as it reminds her of how she died, this is what most of her breakdowns are based on, very protective of people she cares about, can overthink a lot, if nervous she’ll either bite her lip or mess with her hands (e.g. tapping, wringing her hands, cracking her knuckles), if she’s wearing a necklace or jewellery she’ll mess with that or her hair, will absorb herself in music or games when she’s upset, can verbally and emotionally blow up if she’s pushed too far, is also pretty self conscious about her height as compared to most demons she is very small due to her originally being a human.

Sweet spot/Sensitive place: Top of her head and behind her ears - she will start purring like a cat, very ticklish, will punch or try to freeze whoever is tickling her unless they are very close (e.g. Mammon, Astro*, Hiris**). 

Talents: Musician, very talented vocalist, good at comforting people when they're having bad days and cheering them up, not afraid to stand up for herself and other, can be quite terrifying at times, notices small details pretty often, can read body language and pick up on details of a person's attitude, personality and actions

Faults/sins: Envy and Pride, as those are what killed her, severe body issues, has a tendency of putting others above her own wellbeing, inner conflict of wanting to be perfect and knowing that is self destructive, a bit of a people pleaser,

Special skills/powers: Water magic, calming voice.

Music taste: Very wide, varies from jazz/swing to modern pop, film and game soundtracks to classical music, rock to musicals. The only kind of music she doesn't particularly like is reggae.

Personality: Kind, a little overprotective, a 'mum' friend to anyone she cares about, not afraid to speak her mind, will stand up for others, tough outside, soft inside.

Nicknames: RuRu (Mammon), Treasure (Mammon), Player 3 (Levi), Water Witch, Ice Queen/Ice Witch/Snow Witch, White Witch 

Backstory key points: Grew up in a family of musicians, was heavily praised throughout her life, grew envious of other musicians she thought were better than her, which led to her practicing almost constantly with no breaks. Died of starvation, dehydration and exhaustion. Was reborn in the Devildom as a demon of Envy and Pride. Met Levi at a Comic Con - they literally ran into each other, Levi in Lord of Shadows cosplay, Ru in Female Henry cosplay on her way to perform on stage, they bonded after the performance. Stayed in contact online for a while before meeting up in cosplay a few times, then to hang out as friends. Levi eventually brought her back to HOL to play games, where she was introduced to his brothers.

Animal theme: Feathered dragon/bald eagle

Relations to other characters:

Lucifer: Heavy dislike because of how harsh he can be to his brothers, especially Mammon. Will tolerate him though. Will quote musicals and sometimes Shakespeare to casually insult him. Will only lash out if he says something that might hurt someone, as a reminder that maybe he shouldn’t be so tough on those around him. 

Mammon: Love interest (ignore this if you don’t like OCs shipped with canon characters). Bonded after she first came home with Levi, she saw how, despite being talked down to by his brothers, he kept supporting them no matter what insults they threw at him. Very supportive of him and comforts him whenever she can.

Levi: Best friend (one of), was the first of the brothers she met, thinks he's funny and likes it when he starts rambling about things he likes, joins in at times, wants to help him with his insecurities.

Satan: Mutual respect for how much they both annoy Lucifer. Happy to talk about books and musicals with him. Tries to reassure him that he is not Lucifer 2.0

Asmo: Best friend (one of). Gossip, music and shopping buddies. Likes spending spa days together. Very supportive of her whenever she has a body image breakdown. Tries to calm her down when she's angry at Lucifer, but won't physically get in the way. 

Beel: Friends, he makes sure she has food if she's going through one of her body image episodes (was told by Mammon and Asmo), tries to comfort him when he's worried about what's happening between his brothers. Will frequently bake things for him and his brothers.

Belphie: Like Satan, mutual respect for how much they annoy Lucifer. Happy to lie about and just chill with him.

MC: Mother figure. Very protective of them and will defend them from anyone who wishes them harm, including the brothers. Makes sure they're alright as much as she can. Has a pact with them so they can call her whenever they need her.

Diavolo: Respects him. Understands he has a lot going on so will give help when asked, but most of the time will leave him be. Very grateful towards him due to him helping her get settled in the Devildom when she arrived after her death.

Barbatos: A little afraid of him because of his time related abilities. Tries to keep on his good side as much as she can.

Simeon: A bit of a fan, since he's the author of TSL, one of her favourite series. Holds him in very high regards, very happy to talk with him. Has offered to collaborate with him if he needs music for future films/episodes.

Luke: Considers herself a bit of a mother figure to him. Looks after him when he's upset, happy to bake with him as much as he wants.

Solomon: A little skeptical of him, considering the 72 pacts he has with demons and his magical ability. One of the few people she struggles to read.

Astro*: Best friend (one of). Will team up with her to stand up to Lucifer. Protective of one another, will gladly cause chaos together.

Hiris**: Best friend (one of). A little jealous at times because she still has some family, but overall similar relationship as between Ru and Astro. Will gladly try to satisfy her curiosity and listens to her stories a lot.

Role: Student, vocalist and musician at multiple clubs

Family: None, doesn’t know what happened to her human parents or siblings after she died, barely remembers them at all.

Extra facts:

Will use her water magic both to help herself and others to calm down after a bad day and also to trap anyone she wants to 'talk' to - will freeze their legs and shoes to the ground so they can't move (usually Lucifer or people who decide to verbally or physically attack one of her friends)

Will buy Mammon or Levi something from Akuzon without them knowing whenever they've had a bad day to cheer them up

Will cause water based inconveniences targeted at Lucifer if she wants a more subtle way of annoying him after he's given someone (usually Mammon) a too severe punishment - e.g. burst pipe in his bathroom, frozen drink when he's starting to overstep his boundaries (even when she's not in the room, has a codeword with Mammon for him to send to her if he ever feels like Lucifer is talking down to him too much), bucket of water is accidentally knocked over and it spills on him, water goes cold when he's having a shower and will not reheat (Lucifer knows its her but has no way to prove it as she's never actually seen doing it unless she wants to be seen, only MC, Hiris and Astro know that Ru has the HOL pipe system memorized so she knows which pipe goes to which room)

Most presents she gives that haven't been bought on Akuzon are either made with her water magic or tickets to concerts she has managed to get through a few connections (the latter is usually for Levi)

Can and will come up with the most creative insults she can

Is an ace at rhythm games

Has sung duets with Asmo/accompanied Asmo on several instruments 

Hates horror movies 

Always carries two flasks: one of water so she always has access to something to use for her powers, and one of pineapple juice to help soothe her throat. 

Has let Asmo style her several times for concerts - including the time with the suit and corset.

Loves swimming

Is bisexual

Ship facts (please disregard this if you don’t like OCs shipped with canon characters):

Often persuades Mammon to do shows/concerts with her as a way to make him feel better and to get back at his brothers

Mammon has persuaded her to do multiple modelling sessions with him.

Also uses the concerts she knows Mammon will be watching as a way to flirt with him - has worn a suit and corset with heeled boots to do this before.

Has kissed Mammon on stage multiple times.

Has Mammon saved as MonMon on her DDD 

*Astro belongs to one of my friends (will update if I find them on Tumblr)

**Hiris belongs to @storypanda88

[jade4813]

Resolution

Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist

Title: Resolution

Rating: G

Pairing: Zoey/Max

Synopsis: Sequel to Fallout and Repercussions (and episode 7 of the series). Zoey has finally figured out how she feels about Max, but when she tries to get up the never to tell him, Everything. Goes. Wrong. Will the two of them ever manage to get on the same page?

The clock on the wall read 6:22 a.m., and Zoey was already on her third cup of coffee for the day. She remembered with some regret the way she’d once expressed surprise at Joan’s suggestion that they share a drink in the middle of the afternoon. Her day hadn’t even officially started, and she was already wishing she had something to steel her nerves.

All the caffeine she’d consumed was making her jittery, the coffee roiling around in her otherwise empty stomach until she felt sick. She briefly considered grabbing some cereal or perhaps a piece of bread to settle her stomach, but the thought of consuming food just made her feel slightly ill.

She pressed her hand to her chest and sucked in a deep breath. She could do this! She had a plan! When Max showed up to work, she’d take him aside and tell him that she’d realized that she loved him and wanted to give their relationship a shot! How hard could it be? After all, she already knew how he felt about her, right?

Except…he’d been even weirder than usual with her over the last couple of days, ever since their last conversation, when he’d suggested she should go talk to her mom.

“Zoey? Uh…what the hell was that?” he’d asked.

“What was what?”

His eyes narrowed, he looked at her in confusion and concern. “You…you didn’t just…you didn’t hear that? Are you messing with me right now?”

Completely at a loss as to what he meant, she shook her head slowly, “Max, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Hear what? Did something happen?” she leaned to the side to look around him, scanning the office for something out of place.

He stepped back, running one hand across his face. “I’m losing it. Lack of sleep or…I-I thought you…I must have imagined it. It’s fine. Never mind.” She threw him a reassuring smile, but he hurried back to his desk and avoided her for the rest of the day. And for the two days since, although she occasionally caught him watching her closely, like he was trying to figure her out. Or as though she might bite.

“I don’t bite,” she reassured herself in an undertone. But what if his strange behavior was because he’d realized his feelings were all a mistake? What if he’d realized he wasn’t in love with her anymore – at least, not like that? She hadn’t heard any of his heartsongs since the night he coopted a scooter for her, after her dad fell. Was it possible he just wasn’t romantically interested in her anymore?

Zoey pushed away the thought with a grimace and a stern self-reproach. “Not. Helping.” Desperate for a distraction, she grabbed for her tablet and tried to focus on her work, instead. Her love life might be a disaster at present, but this was a language she understood. This came naturally to her, in a way that navigating her love life did not.

In her very first computer course in college, Zoey had been tasked with programming a robot to wind its way through a maze. She had managed to complete the assignment faster than any of her other classmates, going on to earn an A+ in the course at the end of the semester. When she took a step back and considered her current situation, it wasn’t that different. She just had to get herself and Max through the maze of confusion brought on by intense emotion and miscommunication. And then everything would work itself out.

Reassured by the thought, she shot a quick glance around to make sure she was still alone. Her day hadn’t technically started yet, so she took her tablet to an isolation pod and curled up inside to craft some code. By the time she started to hear her coworkers filter in, her simple program was up and running – a digital Zoey and Max, her programmable “robots,” were winding their way through a complex maze. She smiled when she programmed the code directing the two to lean in for a kiss (hearts showing above their heads and all) when they finally made their way to each other.

It was a silly little program, but it made her feel better. Maybe she was overthinking things. She’d tell Max she wanted to be with him, and the two would kiss. How hard could it be?

Lifting the sliding door to the pod, Zoey stepped out and stretched, working out some kinks that had settled in her shoulders. With one last reassuring glance at her ZoeyBot’s progress through the maze, she closed the program and pulled up her notepad.

Any project was possible, as long as one went in with a plan. Almost every task could be broken down into straightforward, manageable steps. Like programming code. Just take each step in turn, one after the other, until the task was finished. With that in mind, she jotted herself a quick note.

Get Max somewhere private.

Show him MaxBot?? (He’ll get it, right?)

Tell him you want to be with him.

Kiss.

Four steps. Possibly three, if she decided she was too embarrassed to show him her computer program. Three or four completely simple, totally manageable steps. Completely doable plan. Now all Max had to do was to show up, and she could put her plan into action.

Unable to sit still, she dropped her tablet onto her desk and headed towards the restroom. All that coffee was taking its toll, but she also hoped that pouring some cold water over her wrists could help her stay focused and calm. She lingered a few extra minutes to give herself a silent pep-talk and practice an eloquent speech about her feelings before steeling her shoulders and heading back outside.

She returned to the office just in time to see Max grab his tablet from his desk and head towards the wicker seats – the pattern of avoidance he’d established over the last couple of days. Hoping to catch him before he got too wrapped up in code and she lost her nerve, she darted to her desk and grabbed for her tablet.

“Max!” she barked abruptly, a shade louder than necessary. He jumped, startled, and spun around to look at her. Softening her tone, she offered him a sheepish smile as she asked, “Do you have a second? There’s something I wanted to show you.” Her program was perhaps a little silly, but maybe he’d find it endearing? She could only hope.

Before he could come up with an excuse to turn her down, she jogged up to him and pulled him aside. “Okay, promise you won’t laugh. I know this is a little silly, but I wanted to show you – uh –”

Her voice trailed off as she held up what she thought would be her tablet and realized that, in her anxiety and rush to catch him, she’d accidentally grabbed her stapler instead. She actually had a stapler? Why? She couldn’t even remember the last time she needed to staple something!

Max seemed equally as confused. “Your…stapler?” he offered. “It’s…nice.”

Completely mortified, her courage fled. “Ah…yes. My stapler. I was…um…wondering. If you had any staples. I think I’m out.” That was unlikely. It was probably holding the same staples that had come with it when it was shipped from the factory, for all she knew. These things came preloaded, right? She had no idea.

“Ah,” he replied, drawing out the word for several seconds. “I don’t think so. Have you tried the supply closet? There might be some in there.”

Zoey forced a laugh. “The supply closet! Right! Makes total sense! Duh,” she waved the stapler wildly, almost clocking herself in the head. “Thanks a lot, Max…i...million.” She heard the ill-advised nickname as though it was coming from outside of herself, from someone else’s mouth, and looked at him in horror.

His smile was uncertain. “No problem. That’s not really a nickname we’re planning to run with, is it?”

“Nope! No, we’re not!” she promised. Trying to cover for her gaff, she aimed a playful shrug at his shoulder to break the tension, somehow completely missing and punching the tablet out of his hands, instead. “That’s…oh, sorry! I’ll…I’ll replace that if it’s broken.” Maybe discretion really was the better part of valor, she decided, not even wanting to see the look on his face as she backed away as quickly as she possibly could before she accidentally broke something else.

It turned out programming code was much easier than telling her best friend she had realized he might be the love of her life.

Later that evening, once she was safely back at home and unlikely to humiliate herself any further, Zoey scowled to herself and she pulled up her ZoeyBot/MaxBot computer program. It didn’t take her long to add a giant, menacing stapler that chased ZoeyBot down the first section of the maze.

Then, heaving a heavy sigh, she pulled up her To Do list. It hadn’t served her very well so far, but she still had confidence in the basic premise. Make a plan. Stick to the plan. Don’t break anything. Check. With that in mind, she reviewed her list.

Okay, so maybe she was too nervous around him to make a smooth job of it. Was there any way she could take the actual confession part out of her hands? She mulled over the question as she stared off into the distance. Finally, it hit her. Balloons! Everyone liked balloons, right?

Grinning at the brilliance of her new plan, she pulled up a web browser and search for a balloon delivery service in the area. Once she found what she wanted, she placed the order for the next day. In the morning, a courier would bring her balloons, reading “I Love U Max.” The last was a specialty balloon – they’d write in his name, and the sample online looked decent enough. Before pressing the button to finalize the order, she gave it one last critical look. Love? No, she should go with the heart instead. Less awkward, she decided, hitting “submit.” The plan was in place! He’d see the balloons and…that would be it! Not risk of ambiguity or bodily injury!

Well, maybe not it, exactly. If they were going to be in a relationship, she was going to have to talk to Joan. She would hardly be able to hide it, since she was planning on confessing in the middle of the office. Once the cat was out of the bag, she wouldn’t be able to continue to be his supervisor. It wouldn’t be right. But she was confident they could find a solution. Feeling much better than she had an hour or so before, Zoey made a few revisions to her list:

Get Max somewhere private.

Show him Maxbot?? (He’ll get it, right?)

Don’t break anything.

Balloons arrive

Tell him you want to be with him.

Kiss.

She didn’t know the exact time the balloons would arrive; more like a narrow window. So she might have to take things a little by ear. But with a plan this solid, surely nothing could go wrong, right?

Right.

The next day, Zoey realized she’d been humming happily to herself off and on all morning, but she couldn’t help it. She was in such a good mood! This plan of hers was going to come off perfectly. When she walked up to the elevator bay and saw Max waiting for the doors to open, she threw him her brightest smile. “Good morning!”

He looked a little taken aback. “Morning, Zoey. You seem to be in a good mood today.”

She nodded. “Yup! I think it’s going to be a fantastic day. It’s just a feeling.”

“Well, then, I hope you’re right,” he replied pleasantly.

She considered taking the moment of privacy to go ahead and confess her feelings, but then others joined them on the elevator and the window of opportunity was lost. No matter. She had balloons! The balloons would not fail her!

“I don’t understand,” she told the balloon courier with an askance look at the two balloons he held out for her to take. “Where are the rest of them?”

Not appearing to be terribly concerned, he shrugged and offered in insufficient explanation and complete lack of apology, “We were out. My boss said we can complete the order next week.”

“Next week! That doesn’t help! I had a whole plan and now all I have to show for it is ‘U Max’. What am I supposed to do with ‘U Max’?”

He shrugged again. Clearly, it wasn’t his problem. She took the balloons from him with numb fingers and briefly considered letting them loose in the stairway to hide evidence of her failed plan when she heard Max speak behind her. “’U Max’? What’s this about?”

Come up with an excuse! Fast! She ordered her poor, beleaguered brain as she spun around. “Maaaaax-i-mus!” Again? Seriously? What the hell was wrong with her? “I got you these!”

“I can see that,” he replied, staring up at the balloons in question. “I’m just trying to figure out what they mean. U Max? Max U? Is this a secret code?”

Her laugh was forced, high-pitched, and veering on hysterical. “No! Of course not! It’s just a new…management plan I’m trying. I’ll be randomly bringing balloons in to people on the team. To let you know that, uh, well, you know. We…see you. And we…appreciate…you know, you. That is, you. Max. I read it in a book somewhere, I think.”

“Really? That’s a little weird. What book?” She would have thought he was on to her, but he sounded more curious than suspicious.

“Oh…I don’t even remember now. Would you just take your balloons?”

He reached for them. “Sure thing. Well, thank you for reaffirmation of my name, anyway,” he teased.

Her answering chuckle was almost genuine. “We spend so much time in this building some days, I thought there was a chance you might have forgotten.”

“Is that the reason for the new nicknames? Because, for the record, I don’t think I like Maximus any better than Maximillion.”

“No, but duly noted,” she replied with a forced smile, hoping her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt as she returned to her desk. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Joan look over at her, Max, and the balloons and shake her head in bafflement before returning to her own work. Zoey was almost pathetically grateful her boss didn’t call her in to demand an explanation. She wasn’t entirely sure she could explain what was going on with her right now, even to herself.

When she saw him walk away and thought he might not see her, she rested her forehead on her desk with a groan, tempted to bang it repeatedly against the hard surface if she wasn’t sure that would bring her too much attention.

Why did her efforts to sweep Max off his feel keep going so haywire? What was she doing wrong?

“Mo, this is getting out of hand. You have to help me!” she cried, pacing back and forth in her neighbor’s living room. Saying it was “getting out of hand” was probably generous. Things were getting downright dire. Her plan was on Day 4, and it had just been one disaster after another.

“I’m not sure there’s any help for you,” Mo offered, shaking her head. “Have you tried just talking to him?”

“Yes! I tried today!”

Mo sat back on the couch. “And?”

“Aaaaand…I decided I would casually drop it in over coffee. But I didn’t realize my ZoeyBot program was up on my screen, and he saw it and asked what it was. One thing led to another, I freaked out and tried to cover it up, and I accidentally…kinda…tripped and…threw an entire cup of coffee at him.”

He blinked. “Wow. I knew you were a mess, but I think you may be even more of a mess than I realized.”

Zoey moaned and sank to the couch beside him. “Really? It’s not even remotely a surprise to me.” Closing her eyes, she leaned back and mulled over her predicament. Then she bolted upright. “I know! What if I do a some kind of flash mob for him?”

“No.”

“What? Hear me out! I get a bunch of people together…”

“No.”

“…and we do some kind of song…”

Mo put a hand on her arm. “Let me stop you right there. So far this week, you’ve brought him a stapler. You got him exactly half of your love confession in balloons, but not even the half that would actually convey what you wanted him to know. And you tried to give him third degree burns. You really think you can get through a whole choreographed dance number without breaking something? Like yourself? Or him?”

Zoey had to reluctantly concede the point, but she wasn’t quite ready to let this idea go. Remembering how she’d imagined him singing outside her window, she suggested, “So what if it’s just me? I could bring a boombox with me and sing outside his window. I saw it in a movie I watched with him once.”

Mo threw her a skeptical look. “Do you even have a boombox?”

She shrugged. “No. Do you?” His answering stare spoke volumes. “Okay, no background music. Just me.”

“Uh huh. And what would you sing?”

“I don’t know; I’m sure I could come up with something. Like, ‘Oh, my lo-‘”

“Nope.”

“Okay. What about, ‘It’s a little bit fu-‘”

“Absolutely not. You should not sing for him. Trust me.”

“But I –” she began.

“No.”

She broke off with a groan. “Okay, what do you suggest?”

Mo sighed. “The same thing I’ve been suggesting all along. No props. No gimmicks. Just walk up to him and find a way to casually drop into conversation that you want to have lots of sex and babies.”

“Are you actually dropping a Love Actually quote on me right now?” Zoey asked in disbelief.

“I’m trying to speak your language,” he replied flippantly, breaking into a grin.

She rolled her eyes as she rose to her feet and headed for the door. “All right. Fine. I’ll just…tell him how I feel. There’s no chance that can end in disaster!”

The table was set. Dinner was in the oven. Zoey was wearing her best dress. She paused long enough to make sure she had matches to light the candles in the candelabra she’d borrowed from her parents’ house earlier in the day, then checked to make sure his jacket was hanging by the door.

She’d gotten Max’s jacket from her mom when she stopped by to visit earlier that day. He’d apparently left it at her parents’ house by accident a few evenings prior, when he’d stopped by to bring her dad some soup from his favorite restaurant across town. It was as good a pretext as any to get him to Zoey’s place, where she would serve him a romantic dinner and confess. Everything.

Wanting to make sure everything was ready, she grabbed her tablet to review her plan one last time. Her (many-times) revised list read:

Get Max somewhere private.

Show him Maxbot?? (He’ll get it, right?)

Don’t break or burn anything. or anyone!!!!!!

Balloons arrive

Bring him coffee

Dinner at home??? “Ham is easy but shows effort”

Make it romantic (candles, yes! Flowers, no. Don’t take your chances)

Music! (Mo says no singing Sing if necessary)

Touch nothing hot until it’s over

No liquids either

Pretext of having his coat?

When he shows up, tell him you want to be with love him.

Kiss.

She took a quick glance around to make sure everything was set up according to her list. Perfect. Things seemed to be going according to plan, for once.

With a satisfied smile, she grabbed her phone. Of course, she probably should have made sure he was free before going through the trouble of cooking an entire ham. But it was too late for such regrets. She tapped her phone with her hand as she paced back and forth, practicing what she was going to say.

“Hey, Max! It’s me! Zoey. It’s Zoey. Do I even need to say that? He has caller ID. Okay, just go with hey, Max! Oh, but he knows who he is. Maybe just hey! Now I sound like a chipmunk. Heeey? No, that sounds creepy. Hi! Howdy! Ugh. Hey…”

As she paced back and forth, she lost track of what was going on around her and so didn’t notice the smoke billowing out of her oven until the fire detector went off, beeping shrilly in her ear. “No! No, no, no, no no…” she muttered desperately as she raced to the oven and pulled it open. On second thought, she should have kept it closed as a ball of fire followed another billow of smoke. “What the-”

She was catapulted out of the way when Mo came in from out of nowhere, shoving her aside to spray an entire fire extinguisher’s worth of suppressant into her oven. As he worked, she jabbed the fire detector with a broom until it fell silence. Then she returned to the stove to throw her meal a morose look. If her ham hadn’t been ruined already, it was now.

“What. Did. You. Do?” Mo demanded in aggrieved affrontery, pulling out her obliterated meal once he’d assured himself that the fire had been extinguished. Wiping off some of the chemicals coating the top, he poked around at the charred meal and exclaimed, “You left the plastic on?”

“What? No, of course not! I removed the plastic!” Zoey peered around Mo’s shoulder to look at the ham, poking it with one dubious finger. “There was a second layer of plastic on the back half of it?” There was, now both firmly baked into the outer skin of the ham and crispy from where it had gone aflame.

Mo sighed and looked around, taking in the scene. Zoey in her dress and heels, way beyond “stay-at-home casual.” The dining table, set for two. The romantic music playing softly over her radio.

“I-I-I-” Zoey stammered, trying to come up with some sort of self-defense, but Mo wasn’t hearing it.

“What did I tell you about props and gimmicks? Would you please go tell Max how you feel about him before you burn down this entire building?”

“I just thought…a romantic meal…”

Grabbing her gently but firmly by the shoulders, he steered her towards the door. “Go. Tell. Him. How. You. Feel.”

“But my meal!” she protested weakly.

He shook his head. “It’s already had a Viking funeral. There’s nothing more we can do for it now. Go take care of this while I dispose of the body. Go.”

Dejected that her plans had once again followed through, Zoey dug in her heels. “Wait! I need my jacket. That black one. And – and my purse.”

She gestured and Mo leaned over to grab both items, passing them over with a dubious look. “That’s yours?” he asked when she slipped the jacket on. It smelled like Max, and Zoey breathed in deeply, pretending it was his arms wrapped around her.

It was huge on her, but she nodded. “Yup! Okay, well…I should go, I guess.”

“Uh huh. Just try not to do anything weird between here and there. I don’t want to get any calls that you’ve been sent to the hospital. Or jail.”

“You won’t. Scout’s honor. You have nothing to worry about!”

Mo shot a pointed look over his shoulder at her demolished kitchen. “Uh huh.”

Zoey rocked back and forth on her toes as she stared at the door in front of her. Too scared to knock, she pulled her phone out of her purse and texted him instead. Hey, are you home? My mom said you left a coat at her place. I’m in the neighborhood, so I can drop it by if you’re there.

She could actually hear his phone chirp through the door. A few seconds later, she got the response. You don’t need to do that! I can swing by and pick it up later if you don’t want to go out of your way. Or you can bring it to work. Thanks for the offer!

He ended his text with a smiley emoji, and she spent much longer than necessary trying to decipher what that meant. Was he genuinely just worried about her taking a special trip? Or was this part of his efforts to avoid her?

She considered making a run for it, but she suspected Mo wouldn’t let her back into her apartment unless he was certain she’d told Max the truth and would theoretically no longer be a danger to herself or others. Before she could lose whatever shred of nerve she still retained, she shrugged out of his coat (admittedly reluctantly), lifted her hand, and rapped briskly on his door.

He opened it a few seconds later, his face a mask of surprise. “Zoey? Wow, that was…really fast.”

What she meant to say was, “Hey! Like I said, I was in the neighborhood.” What she actually said sounded like, “Hey, Ma-nipples.”

He was shirtless again. Didn’t he know what that did to her self-composure? To her ability to string a coherent thought together? Granted, it wasn’t exactly fair of her to blame him. He’d had no real reason to know she was lurking outside his door when she’d sent him that text. But still.

He looked adorably awkward as he lifted one hand to run his fingers through his wet hair, trying to get it in some semblance of order. She’d apparently caught him coming out of the shower. So he was standing in front of her both half-naked and damp? Good. Lord.

Oblivious to her sudden struggle for air, he explained, “Yeah, sorry. I just got back from the gym. I didn’t realize you were coming by.” He hesitated for a moment and then asked, “Do you want to come in?” As she stepped through the door, he looked over his shoulder like he wasn’t sure if he should go grab a shirt. Or like he wasn’t alone.

She stumbled to a halt, her heart seizing in her chest. “Oh, god. You’re not busy, are you? I mean, if you have someone here -”

He cocked his head to the side, throwing her a confused smile. “No, of course not!” Glancing down, he leaned in, his hand reaching towards her. “Oh, I should –”

His face was moving closer to hers, and Zoey’s brain backfired. This was it! The moment she’d been waiting for! Her little MaxBot and ZoeyBots had traversed the maze, avoiding homicidal staplers, menacing balloons, and boiling vats of coffee (and, after tonight, actual bursts of fire that she might as well program in when she got home), and it was finally time to do the thing she’d fantasized about all week! Success!

Completely forgetting that she was holding his coat – and that she hadn’t actually gotten around to confessing her feelings yet – she lurched forward, convinced he was about to initiate a kiss. A kiss she fully intended to reciprocate. The most perfect first kiss one could ever possibly imagine, she was sure.

Instead, in her haste and panic, she missed the mark. Instead of a romantic first kiss, she accidentally semi-headbutted him, her lips landing somewhere in vicinity of the air below his chin. He jerked back in surprise, causing her to lose her balance and stumble forward, stomping on his toe.

“Zoey! What was that?” he yelped, hand cupped over his nose, as he hopped on one foot. Is it broken? Am I bleeding?” She was too horrified at herself to respond, so he pulled his hand away to check for blood before throwing her a bewildered look. “Did you come over here to headbutt me for not being able to hang out lately? Because I really have been busy.”

“What?” she protested. “Of course not!”

He must have seen the misery on her face, because his grimace melted into a soft, reassuring smile. Clearly struggling to hold back a wince, he asked gently, “Okay, then, do you want to tell me what this is all about? Trust me. You have my undivided attention.”

She clutched her hands in front of her, trying to stop them from trembling, and tried to find the words to explain. She found she couldn’t look him in the eye and form a coherent thought. His lips also seemed a little too daunting. His chest was…nope. Still bare. She wasn’t even going to attempt it. Fixing her attention to a spot roughly around his Adam’s apple – that seemed more or less safe enough – she tried to remember part of the elegant speech she’d prepared earlier in the week to tell him how she felt. The only thing that came to mind was “You Max” and she’d already discovered first-hand how insufficient that was to get the job done.

Taking a deep breath, she plunged forward. “I’m…not very good with people. I think we both know that. The only thing I’m really good at is programming! And so I just thought…if I could get the Zoey-Bot and the Max-Bot through the maze…”

Even she could tell she wasn’t making any sense. His Adam’s apple moved as he asked, “The…Max-Bot? I-I don’t…You want me to build some-”

“No. That’s not what I’m trying to say.” Staring at his neck wasn’t helping, so she squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to pull herself together. “I’m trying to say that I took your advice and I talked to my mom.”

Silence fell between them for a few seconds before he replied gently, “Oh. Well, that’s good! Isn’t it? What did she say?”

She opened her eyes, meeting his unflinchingly. “She said…after she met my dad, she could spend the rest of her life running from the way she felt about him, trying to protect her heart. Or she could take a chance that she might lose him one day, and cherish every moment they were lucky to have each other along the way. The good days and the bad, as long as they were together. She said that you can never know the future, but the happiness she found when she chose to take a chance on my dad, when she chose love, outweighed all the pain. Even the pain of losing him.” She had said that, no matter how much it would hurt to lose Zoey’s father, she would never, ever regret loving him.

Max didn’t move. Didn’t speak. As far as she could tell, barely breathed. So she took a tiny step towards him and confessed, “And Max…I promised I would be honest with you, so I will. I’m still scared. And I don’t want to ever lose you. I don’t know how I could bear it. But I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you…a long time ago. Even though I was too scared to admit it to myself. And, who knows? Maybe I never would have if it weren’t for my superpower. Maybe? What I do know is that being with you…it makes me happy. So I’m – I’m choosing love over fear. I’m choosing you. I mean, to be with you.” Her courage depleted, she finished lamely, “I, I mean…if that’s…if that’s still what you want?”

He reached out, trailing fingertips down her arm until she released the death grip she hand on her hands and took his in hers. Her skin felt cold and, she was afraid, probably clammy. But she could swear he was trembling, too, and it wasn’t just her. “What I want? Of course it is! Zoey, I’m not trying to push you into anything. We don’t have to go fast with this! I know you’re scared about what might happen. I’m scared, too. I don’t want to lose you, either! It’s why I didn’t tell you how I felt for so long. But I also know that when I think about the future – my future – I want you to be in it. And that’s worth taking a chance on. I don’t mind taking this slow, as long as we’re doing it together.”

Her breath escaped her with a whoosh, as she felt the tension drain from her shoulders. “Really?”

“Really,” he responded reassuringly, giving her hand a quick squeeze. “As long as you promise Manipples also isn’t going to be my new nickname.” That elicited a laugh, so he suggested, “I have an idea. Why don’t I…put on a shirt,” his mouth curved into that boyish grin that she loved so much as he gestured vaguely at his chest, “and then we can watch a movie together.”

“I’d like that,” she replied, rocking up onto her toes as she returned his smile.

“But first, if you don’t mind…could we try that kiss again?” At his surprised look, she smiled sheepishly and explained, “I’d like to be able to say that I managed it without nearly sending you to the hospital. I made a promise to Mo, after all.” Plus, it was pretty mortifying that he hadn’t even been aware that’s what she’d been attempting when she nearly knocked him out.

“Yeah, of course,” Max breathed, tugging gently on her hand to pull her forward. Stepping into his embrace was like coming home, she realized, as she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down towards her. With one hand resting between her shoulder blades and the other at the small of her back, he pulled her tight against him. Zoey closed her eyes as she savored the feeling of his lips as they brushed softly against hers once, then twice. She parted her lips and heard him groan deep in his throat as he deepened the kiss.

She thought she could stand there in Max’s entranceway, kissing him forever, but he finally gave her one last, tender kiss and pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers. “I love you, Zoey,” he whispered.

“I love you, Max,” she breathed in return.

[takerfoxx]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 4, Episode 8, First Impressions!

Can’t they just have a good time for once?

So Boy’s Night Out is an episode that attracted my attention ever since it was announced. At first I was looking forward to the boys of the group going out to paint the town red in their solo episode (yes, even Swift Wind, because I do want to like him), but then I kept hearing rumblings that this episode might be a major game changer for the plot, so I figured that it would do the same as Princess Prom and drop a big twist that will kickstart the plot.

The truth turned out to be somewhere in between.

When we start out, things are just a mess. The Horde, having overrun the Salineas capital, is now trampling Bikini Bott-I MEAN the smaller settlements, and the princess squad is trying to at least evacuate everyone that they can. Unfortunately, though DT has been caught (and unfortunately is only referenced in this episode), the damage left in their wake has not been undone. Or maybe they aren’t really to blame for this. DT stirred the pot, sure, but the issues between Glimmer and Adora are of their own making, and are only getting worse. Plus, you know, Mermista’s kind of a self-pitying wreck due to her whole kingdom being conquered and her people slaughtered, captured, or at the very least driven from their homes, so that’s still a thing. 

So can you really blame the boys for wanting to just take a break for one night? Go out, get some space between them and the drama (and bloodshed and horror), have some fun, mentally decompress and all that? And hey, Sea Hawk and Bow always make for a great comedic duo (even if Bow isn’t feeling it at first). And also Swift Wind’s there, because he is now designated as my official punching bag. So yeah.

Still, we actually only get on actual scene of the boys out on the town (accompanied by a catchy number) before we find out what this episode is really about: dissolving friendships, and how hard they are to repair.

The big one is Adora and Glimmer of course. I mean, Sea Hawk hatched his whole crazy “Let’s kidnap ourselves!” scheme to make them reconcile. But at the end of the day, it still didn’t address the underlying problems, and they remain estranged. You know, I’d say I’m not worried because it’s a kid show so of course they’ll reconcile, but this show has thrown curveballs at me before, so...

Another broken friendship that is addressed is Catra and Scorpia. And as it turns out, Catra still hasn’t noticed that Scorpia left! And she still expected Scorpia to just show up to hang out when Catra did feel like spending time with her. It just goes to show just how much Catra took her for granted. She never actually expected for Scorpia to be driven away by her mistreatment. No, the ever-loyal Scorpia was just going to take her punches and always be for her in the end!

Well, as it turns out, her toxic behavior has consequences, and Catra has finally realized that she managed to drive away the only person that has ever accepted her unconditionally. That look on her face as she reads Scorpia’s note says it all. Will Catra finally, finally, finally have an epiphany on how bad she’s gotten, or will she continue to live in denial and double down on her self-destructive course?

All signs point to the latter.

At the very least, Sea Hawk got Mermista to snap out of her funk. I mean, don’t get me wrong, her sobbing to herself in the bathtub while eating tub after tub of ice cream was totally justified, but she still had a duty to her people. You know, this show has never really made their relationship clear. Are they like actually dating? I mean, Sea Hawk swoons over her pretty constantly, and there was that, ahem, Tunnel of Love incident, but other times it seems that he just think that she’s really cool and wants to be her friend? Well, whatever, they’re together again, complete with a rock remix of Sea Hawk’s shanty, so at least someone had a happy ending.

All that being said, the part that really got to me was Bow’s little breakdown. He’s had to be the glue holding everything for so long, the Superego to Glimmer’s Id and Adora’s Ego. He’s had to be the peacemaker, the one working extra hard to help other people work out their problems, and that’s just so exhausting! So it was kind of wonderful that the show acknowledged this and showed how much being that kind of person really wears you down. So I don’t blame Bow for cracking, and I’m glad that they showed that. 

Anyway, things feel like they’re going to really heat up soon, so here’s a few misc. moments that got a giggle out of me:

The songs in general.

All all sailors hate Sea Hawk because he burned their ships down too!

“Why do I hear the ocean?”

SEAGULLS!

As soon as I heard Admiral Scurvy’s name, I knew that he had to be a repurposed character from the original show. And I was right. And his old design...is kind of a lot.

Wow.

[killian-whump]

How would you arrange Collin's movies' whumpiness from highest to lowest?

Oh, this has been sitting in my inbox for awhile now, Nonny! Sorry about that! But this is a great question, so hopefully the answer is worth waiting for? Maybe? No? Probably not, but I’ll try XD

Now please keep in mind, this is only MY personal opinion on where these roles would fall, ranking-wise. A lot of Colin’s work has some borderline whumpy elements to it (angst, fear, drunkenness, suicidal behavior, etc) that may tip each film upwards or downwards on others’ lists. These are just where they land for me, personally. Your mileage may vary ;)

OKAY! Colin’s roles, Whumpiest to Least Whumpiest!

Captain Hook, Once Upon a TimeThis one takes the top billing, for containing both the most extreme (and highest quality) whump in 5x13 and 5x14, as well as boasting the most plentiful whump throughout the rest of the six seasons Colin’s in the show. There’s a reason why Captain Floor is a thing, and that reason is because Hook gets laid out on the ground like it’s going out of fashion. Bless him, the writers, the directors, and the show itself for so many gifts

Conor Elliott, The ClinicMost of Colin’s work on The Clinic is better known for its sheer adorableness and the bean-sprouty goodness and cancer-curing qualities of Conor Elliott’s precious smile. However, in the first season that Colin was on the show, Conor set himself on fire in his therapist’s office - which led to some rather extensive pain faces and hysterics on the floor of said office as he was tended to by paramedics. He’s then carried out in a wheelchair, obviously sedated, and is later seen multiple times in a hospital bed - even sporting an oxygen mask in one shot. He continues to be seen with bandages on his arm for multiple episodes, and a scar from the event can even be spotted on Conor’s arm two whole seasons later. Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

Mark, Storage 24This is one of Colin’s films that is damn hard to quantify the whump in. For starters, we have a solid punch to the kisser, complete with some blood. There’s also a scene in the beginning where his friend knocks him over and lands on his nuts (cue pain face). Both scenes are solid, whump-wise - but for me, it’s the extreme fear and panic Mark exhibits throughout the entire film that brings it as high on this list as it is. It is SO much fun to watch him scramble through air vents, terrified that a giant alien monster is going to burst through and eat him alive at any moment. And Colin does such a brilliant job of relaying that fear. Even when he’s not being hurt, you feel like he’s in dire peril… and that makes this entire film feel extremely whumpy to me. At any rate, we also have the fact that the end of the film sees Mark [SPOILER ALERT] get his face chewed on rather graphically, and we’re right back to not knowing what to do with this film. How dare that thing touch such a beautiful face.

Peter, What Still RemainsThis post-apocalyptic film brings us a grievous bear trap injury in the first half that leaves Peter limping and wincing throughout the whole rest of the film. There’s really no cinematic reason for the injury, either, which leaves a lot of us wondering if the director cottoned on to the fact that Colin has a lot of whump-loving fans and was like, “How do you feel about bear traps?” What The Rite gave us all in angsty rain shots, this film gives us in winces and limping. He also gets [SPOILER ALERT!] stabbed and dies at the end.

Ben, The EuthanizerThis short film opens with a lengthy sequence of Ben trying to hang himself and lacking the go-ahead to take that final leap (if you will). Very angsty, with some noose action and wincing and frustration. Ben then hires the eponymous “Euthanizer” to help him finish the job - resulting in more noose hijinks, some crying, a hand-gagging, some desperation, a bit of a wrassle on the floor, and some great moments where Ben’s got the muzzle of a gun pressed into his face. Jazz… nice.

Michael Kovak, The RiteDespite this being a “horror” film, there’s not as much whump in it as you might expect. And while there is an impressive-looking list of maladies in the film, they all suffer from being a bit too brief and a bit too dark to truly enjoy. That said, Michael does get choked twice, wakes up in a cold sweat from a nightmare, cries and angsts when his father dies, and gets attacked in the ending climax. That scene sees Anthony Hopkins getting in his face, mocking him, throwing him across a room, getting in his face again, and even briefly possessing him - but it all feels even darker and briefer than the earlier whump.

Brennan, The Dust StormSo much of the whump in Colin’s roles is subjective, that it’s hard to even quantify it for this list. For example, if one considers the vulnerability of extreme inebriation to be whumpy, they’re likely to feel this movie deserves a much higher place on this list - whereas those who don’t find that kind of thing whumpy at all might object to this film being as high on this list as it is. C’est la vie. Drunkenness aside, however, this film does feature a solid punch to the face, a voluntary cigarette burn, loads of romantic angst, some vomiting… and did I mention the extreme inebriation? He even passes out in a church.

Brendan, Call GirlAnother short film, and also one of the earliest film roles our Col ever did :) This one’s got some very brief fisticuffs that result in Brendan [SPOILER ALERT] accidentally killing a young woman. Obviously, some angst ensues… and he ends up slicing into his forearm with a kitchen knife to cover the crime.

Professor Harrison, Carrie PilbyOn top of housing one of Colin’s least-liked characters (by design ;)), this film also only has one very solid punch right to the nose (with blood!) for us whumpers to enjoy.

Duke Phillip of Bavaria, The TudorsIt’s not real whump… but Phillip does pretend that Princess Mary has stepped on his foot during their dance and quite melodramatically winces and stomp-limps off the dancefloor, before revealing it was all a ruse to get her alone for a smooch. Nice one, Duke Phillip. We’d follow those pain faces off into a dark corner any day.

Peter, Love Is the DrugHe gets punched in this one (when does he not?), but it’s off-screen. He’s also drunk (again) and ends up passed out on the street, having puked all over himself. Oops? Well, it’s whump. Sort of. Oh, I think his buzzcut might also count as whump, depending on who you ask XD

Jamie, Proof 2Colin’s appearance in this is very brief, but he still manages to get grabbed by the collar and manhandled a tiny bit, regardless :)

Nameless Florist, The WordsThere’s no whump at all in this one, although Colin does appear adorably embarrassed when he knocks dirt all over the counter in the florist’s shop. Aww. There’s also some angst in bed and he takes a bath - and I don’t want to live in a world where that doesn’t count for something.

Security Guard, Wild DecembersThere’s no whump in this at all, unless you count giving him the lines, “It’s tough, it’s tough” to a woman whose lover has just been gunned down in front of her a form of whump. Some of us do. I mean, that’s awful dialogue.

Rowe, Rebel HeartThere’s no whump in this at all, but he does look extra cute. It’s also the very first time Colin appeared on film (that we know of). Bless.

Douxie, TrollhuntersWe only hear Colin’s voice here, and there’s no whump whatsoever. His character might return later in the series, though! Maybe someone will punch him then XD

Honorable Mention: JJ SneedThis isn’t even out yet, but I feel the need to mention it, since it’s likely to land VERY high on this list. JJ is the recipient of not one but TWO separate gunshot wounds in the song this Heartstrings episode is based on - one that lays him up badly enough to be nursed back to health by the protagonist, and the other that results in his death by that same woman’s hand. If that doesn’t sound like a role destined for the Top Three of this list, I don’t know what would!

[daresplaining]

Iron Fist Countdown: 10 Days

Ten Favorite Season 1 Scenes (In No Particular Order)

    It seems like only yesterday we were freaking out about Season 1, and now we are a mere ten days away from Iron Fist Season 2! Over on the Iron Fist blog one of us has been spending the month re-watching and breaking down, in-depth, the entirety of the first season. We’re not going to be nearly as thorough here, but we have managed to narrow down ten scenes we particularly love from one of our favorite superhero adaptations ever. 

Danny Receives a Diagnosis (“Shadow Hawk Takes Flight”)

    We wrote a whole post about this scene here, and another one on the Iron Fist blog, which just goes to show how much we love it. This scene exists at a pivot point in Danny’s identity quest, which is a central part of his narrative arc in this season. In the first few episodes his identity, and thus very personhood, are attacked by those around him. He finds himself on Earth with nothing, not even a name. Then, by the end of episode 2, Dr. Edmonds becomes convinced that Danny is who he says he is. In relief, Danny eagerly fills Edmonds in on the other half of his identity-- being the Iron Fist-- and inadvertently sabotages himself by convincing Edmonds that he’s delusional. It’s a wonderful scene for its character exploration elements, its dramatic irony, and its role as an oh-so-satifying set-up for Danny chi punching his way out of the hospital at the end of the episode. 

Danny Heals Colleen  (“The Mistress of All Agonies”)

    This was high on our wishlist for the show, and so we were thrilled, after nine episodes of Danny being injured/being around injured people, that he finally discovered his healing powers. The chi of Shou-Lao is really cool because it’s a power set with a huge range of applications. Even comics Danny is far from having learned everything he’s capable of. And like in the comics, Netflix Danny is missing key elements of his Iron Fist training, and thus has to learn through experience. And one thing he learns is that these powers are not merely destructive. By discovering his healing abilities he unlocks a new understanding of what it means to be the Iron Fist, and the fact that it’s Colleen he’s healing, plus the fact that it happens so late in the show, adds even more power to an already memorable moment. Plus, we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: the chi of Shou-Lao special effects in this show are amazing. We could watch Danny do Iron Fist stuff all day. 

Danny Recharges His Chi (”Black Tiger Steals Heart”)

    In amid all of the action and trauma and general unpleasantness that takes place throughout the season, there are a few key moments of silence. The rapid-fire plot pauses, the world calms, and the characters and viewer are given a moment to take a breath. These peaceful, happy scenes add a pervasive positive energy to the season as a whole that feels unique and also perfect for this story. Danny learning how to recharge his chi in episode 10 is one such moment, and no matter how many times we watch this scene it never loses its impact. For a moment the world is bright and hopeful, and our heroes are at peace. It’s beautiful on its own, and it provides a powerful contrast with how horrible the situation becomes later in the episode.       

ORSON @#$%IN’ RANDALL! (”Black Tiger Steals Heart”)

    Any scene that makes us yell and leap out of our seats gets an automatic spot on lists like this. We were delighted when Danny referenced the Iron Fist legacy early in the season. We were excited by the idea of other Iron Fists possibly being mentioned, because that is a great element of the mythos. But we hadn’t dared to hope that we might actually see another Iron Fist-- especially Orson Randall, who is one of our favorites. Orson was Danny’s predecessor, and in the comics he was a bit of a mess. We don’t know much about him in this universe, but what’s amazing about this scene is that they somehow managed to perfectly characterize Orson without having him say a word. The blurry glimpses we have of the costume are perfect enough to make it obvious he’s him. And somehow, even the fighting style looks like him. We probably could have seen this clip out-of-context and still known it was Orson, which is awesome. And of course, this is a powerful moment for Danny as well. He gets to see another Iron Fist-- and the sight nearly brings him to tears. Heck, it nearly brought us to tears too.  

Colleen’s Second Cage Match (“Eight Diagram Dragon Palm”)

    We could have gone with her first cage match too, but this one has the benefit of an extra fighter and a snazzy hoodie. Colleen’s arc this season is one of self-discovery. She has trained for a long time and teaches martial arts, but she has also maintained a level of comfortable self-control. But then she discovers that being a little out-of-control holds its own appeal. The first time Colleen tries cage fighting she just goes for the money. But then she goes again, in spite of the shame she feels, not only for the money but because she enjoyed it. This second fight is a Colleen who is reveling in this newfound freedom and thrill, and it’s great fun to watch her just let loose and kick some butt.

Danny and Davos’s Big Escape (”Black Tiger Steals Heart”)

    A good fight should establish character, tell a story, and/or move the plot forward, in addition to being fun to watch. Danny and Davos beating the snot out of the entirety of Bakuto’s student body already makes this one of the most epic fights in any of the shows, but it has the added element of introducing Davos into the narrative. While we hear about Danny and Davos’s friendship in earlier episodes, their flawless teamwork and chemistry in this fight succinctly expresses just how close they are and how long they’ve been fighting together. This season did a phenomenal job of forging this friendship, which doesn’t exist in this form in the comics (616 Davos was best friends with Danny’s father instead) and this fight is the perfect embodiment of that dynamic. 

Ward Disposes of Some Bodies (“Felling Tree with Roots”)

    This season did a great job of taking Ward Meachum, a character with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and making him at least somewhat sympathetic. This was done by blasting him with incessant trauma for thirteen episodes straight, sending him into a downward spiral of horrific proportions as he tries, and mostly fails, to deal with all of the horror in his life. This scene is particularly skin-crawling. Harold tasks Ward with disposing of some dead bodies. Ward obeys. We are then treated to a drawn-out scene of Ward alone in a parking garage in the middle of the night, trying not to freak out as he stuffs the bodies into his car. It is masterful psychological horror-- not the kind of thing you’d expect from an Iron Fist story, but excellently done.     

Zombie Harold (“The Mistress of All Agonies”)

    And speaking of psychological horror... Harold Meachum is another character who was brilliantly reinvented in this show. His inherently threatening nature, pure creepiness, domineering personality, and clever balance of humor and horror (he’s both the funniest and the creepiest character in the show) caused him to steal nearly every scene he was in. He could ratchet up the narrative tension just by entering a room. And he was just full of surprises. In contrast with his comics counterpart, who is creepily unhinged for a second and then dies after a single on-panel scene, MCU Harold is nearly impossible to kill. His second revival, after Ward stabs him and dumps him in a pond, is one of the most memorable scenes in the show, and it’s 100% Harold. It’s shocking. It’s horrifying. It’s kind of gross. It’s somehow also very funny. The creative minds for this season were not afraid to pull out all the stops and deliver some truly wild plot points, and that’s part of what makes this show so great.   

Danny Vs. Davos (“Bar the Big Boss”)

    We included Danny and Davos’s badass team-up, so we had to include the counterpoint, the bookend, which is just as powerful and hurts all the more because of the awesomeness of the team-up. This fight packs a punch in every possible way-- the combat is brutal, the cinematography is gorgeous, and the dialogue is absolutely heartwrenching. It is the perfect conclusion to the fracturing of Danny and Davos’s relationship that takes place over the course of the preceding episodes, and sets up all of the pain we’re in for with these two next season.    

"Come Down” (“Bar the Big Boss”)

    This is another of those characteristic feel-good scenes that make this season magical, in which our heroes are just allowed to exist together and enjoy each other’s company. Danny and Colleen have both been through combat and heartache and survived. The world is looking not quite as dark as it did the day before. And so they do forms to music together, and you can cut the chemistry with a knife. It’s fun and joyous, the kind of scene that gets stuck in your head, and a welcome respite before the final frantic build to the season’s climax.   

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Magical Girl Ore - Episode 08

Okay, I guess I need to get this done. It’s Magical Girl Ore, episode 08. Here we GO!

-We begin with Saki preparing to head out…And her mother is in bad shape, not just back troubles, but getting ill…She’s so bad off that all she can provide her daughter for running-late breakfast is a bento box of sandwiches and the like, a downright mundane meal…And then she can barely force herself to move once Saki is gone. But, Sayori has somewhere else she has to be…

-Opening!

-Magical Girl - Meet-and-Greet

-So it’s time for the meet-and-greet of Saki-kun and Sakuyo-kun, who sold 100 million CDs of their first single. Saki-kun is legit kind of terrified of this kind of crowd for her music. Of course, it was helped by the manager’s cunning and dastardly tactics. Every CD comes with one random photo card. The super rare ones, in only 3% of CD packages, include an invitation to this event. Which you still have to pay entry into.

-That’s…Pretty underhanded. But it still worked…They’re holding a solid amount of ground even with Mohiro’s duo, and PRISMA, both here! And then the manager leaves the pair all on their own to go make nice-nice with the other managers. Of course, as panicked as they are, Saki-kun and Sakuyo-kun can’t let their guards down…There’s no way that whoever’s targeting Mohiro isn’t here. An attack is almost inevitable. But when, and from where…???

-Meanwhile, Ko-san comes to see Sayori, lets himself in, and finds her…Missing! And her bed still warm. She just left, but where could she…No…Damn that woman! Indeed, Sayori is on a train, and not doing well by the looks of it…

-Back at the event, where Saki-kun gets a good-luck message from her mom! Also she’s being glared at by Anime Yang, who is very petty. No Funny Name has to try and soothe her, because she is clearly the more mature one of the pair. Also, Mohiro keeps stealing glances at the devilishly handsome Ore-san.

-So of course, the meet-and-greet is going about as well as these things usually go. Lots of incredibly enthusiastic fans, lots of giddy fanning-out moments, and a few people who are a little too enthusiastic. Including a hyper fanboy who has to be dragged away after having admitted to personally buying 10,000 copies of the print run alone. …And he left something white and sticky on Saki-kun’s hand. …Do not question it, do not acknowledge it, wipe hands, wash hands, pretend it never happened. Deny it hard enough and maybe she can forget it entirely.

-Oh and there’s a cute little girl who folded an origami poo for Saki-kun, since she always steps in poo. It’s the honesty of children and their genuine heartfelt emotions…Yeah, even with it being a little shameful, Saki-kun can work with this. This feeling of really mattering to someone, of really making their lives better, it’s…It’s pretty good.

-So who’s next in line? Which sort of important fan is up next—

-IT’S HER MOM

-FUCK EVERYTHING

-WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING UNDER THE WEATHER

-IS THIS A GOD DAMNED PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE WHY ARE YOU HERE

-She brought a gift! Which has to go in the box with other gifts, for security reasons. Also Sayori wants to see Mohiro and Saki-kun freaks the fuck out…But Sayori also wants to remind her child that she needs to be ready. Mohiro’s definitely going to be targeted on a day like today. And this crowd is going to make things difficult. Be careful, be prepared, and do your duty. The staff try to make her leave, and she just ignores them with her sheer magical power…But as she leaves through the crowd, she collapses, her body utterly drained…

-And a figure finds her…Is it Ko-san? No, it’s Hyoe-san, calling for someone to help her to the infirmary!

-While Mohiro shakes hands with another fan…And it’s a jacked teddy bear demon. Nyon.

-So that’s how the screaming starts as the demons appear to take Mohiro away. This went from bad to worse, as they go to dump him into the portal, and it turns into a war! While Hyoe-san drops Sayori off at the infirmary…

-And her numbers are terrifying. Heart rate of 360, blood pressure at 400, did she say a temperature of 90 C?! That’s not actually physically possible. But still, somehow Sayori manages to stir when things go awry…She has to get the package to Saki….!

-Saki-kun, who’s stuck fighting with her bare hands, and it’s making things a lot more complicated…Without the capacity to definitively kill demons, the best she can do is a terrifying nut shot to the one that tries to grab her away from saving Mohiro…Oh, and they’re stealing other people, too. So that’s extra bad.

-Sayori forces herself to her feet, carrying that package, when Ko-san finally finds her…You damn fool woman! Satori is too lost in the magical girl stories of her own youth. And also she kicks Ko-san into near unconsciousness. Jesus, how much power is in that matronly body.

-While Saki-kun is being surrounded and mobbed…When Sakuyo-kun clears a path to the exit! Everyone MOVE! Saki, worry about Mohiro and finishing the fight!

-Where Mohiro is getting his butt touched as they try to squeeze him into the portal…And Saki-kun is infuriated enough to try and push through this mob! The people cheer her fighting spirit on, throwing things at the demons as they try to get at Saki-kun…And her heart stirs with the love of her fans!

-She is not fighting alone. She is not fighting for only herself. The world’s love is in her and of her, and with that power of a magical girl, she, STRIKES!

-It is a fucking horror show. Don’t let the children see.

-And when it’s over, Saki-kun personally thanks the young girl for being so kind and rooting for her…While the members of PRISMA, and by that I mostly mean Anime Yang, are freaking out. As Saki-kun is left to fiercely yank Mohiro out of this portal, and ends up with him spilled out on top of her and YES THIS IS OKAY. And she accidentally lets slip her emotions and Mohiro…

-Suddenly pulls Saki-kun out of the way of a punch! A punch that gets blocked cold by a figure in pink, holding a gleaming war staff…You, will not, hurt her child.

-Sayori-kun…No, that is too small! Sayori-San? Too unfamiliar.

-…SAYORI-SAMA steps forth, introducing herself as a passing-through magical woman and Saki-kun quietly has a panic and what the fuck are you doing. You are much too old to be doing this! But you were in danger, and she just…It’s what any parent would do. Now, have you figured out who started all of this?

-Saki-kun thought it could be a fan, but nobody was in the right position, and they were just too…Pure. No, it’s got to be someone else…So Sayori-sama asks who’s been here all day. It’s a short list; the other acts, his own manager, and of course…

-Sayori-sama’s body buckles, too worn out from so much battle…And is this the end? She feels as though this could be her last…She’s so, so very proud of you, Saki…! Take this! Her weapon…It will do right by you, and honor you…

-And as Saki-kun takes the staff, Sayori-sama drops…Kokoro takes her up in his arms, spreading his wings…

-While Saki-kun, full of tears and grief, finally realizes. Her enemy, has been in front of her this whole fucking time. He just emerged from the bathroom. Hyoe-san…!

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Sayori is on the train with Saki and Ko-san, because it turns out she just had a really bad back spasm there. She wasn’t ascending to heaven or anything.

You fought well, Sayori. Rest, and know your legacy will live on. Oh, also, we finally got names for PRISMA in the preview! Anime Yang is Michiru, and No Funny Name is Ruka. They actually get a turn in the spotlight? My god. I guess we’ll see it next time, in episode NINE of Magical Girl Ore! Wait for it!