#love how he accidentally became a juvenile delinquent too

[ocdhuacheng]

Well. Read up to vol 16 which is all I have rn. That did not go where I thought it was gonna go

[redbeanboi]

Page Duties

originally uploaded to ao3 on 19/01/10. 

Rating: Teen/Gen.

Pairing: Josuke Higashikata/F!Reader

Summary: Working at the library is pretty straightforward: reshelving materials and media, helping library patrons find books, reuniting lost children with their parents, and last but certainly not least—dealing with the local delinquents.

Beware: Tooth-rotting fluff galore (gross!!), also spoiler: Josuke’s a total dork

Wordcount: 5.2k

You’d been working at the Morioh Public Library for months and memorized the face of every regular patron. New library patrons would enter everyday, and, much to your frustration, you would constantly have to learn new names and new faces. One of them, however, seemed to stand out to you the most.

Josuke Higashikata.

You both went to Budogaoka High School but he probably didn’t know you even existed. He was handsome. Girls swarmed him, boys picked fights with him, and despite every teacher’s disdain towards his getup, they all generally agreed that he was a decent student. You rarely ever saw him in school, and even if you did you’d usually be greeted with the back of his marvelous head of hair. In fact, you can’t remember ever seeing his face before. Had you not been familiar with his embellished uniform or signature hairdo, you probably wouldn’t have recognized him.

He’d only started coming into the library recently; in fact, you were the one who’d given him a library card. At first you were surprised to learn that he didn’t already own one (don’t they give these out to kids when they’re in elementary school?), but considering his reputation for being a delinquent, you couldn’t say you were surprised. Maybe he lost his? Who knows.

Either way, you only remembered the experience because he’d avoided making eye contact with you the entire time, and mumbled a barely audible “thanks” once you handed it to him. When your fingers accidentally brushed the back of his hand he flinched and ducked out of the library, his friend Koichi not far behind. At first his behavior irritated you—he didn’t have to act that disgusted for having to talk to you—but you couldn’t find yourself able to blame him for very long. I mean, how would you feel if some stranger accidentally touched you?

He started coming in regularly after that—two or three times a week—for the past two and a half weeks now. Josuke never went by himself; he was usually accompanied by Koichi, or his other friend Okuyasu. What puzzled you most is the fact that he never bothered to check out materials. What’s the point of getting a library card if you’re just going to sit at a table for a few hours and read manga? Anyone can come in without a library card and sit at the tables—you only need a card if you’re planning on taking materials outside.

***

Okuyasu sat at the far corner of the table, deeply immersed in the new Shounen Jump. They’d been at the library for hours now, and his patience was running thin. When his eyes wandered towards his friend, a vein pulsed at his temple. That does it.

“Josuke, why are we here? The new Shounen Jump is at the Owson in town. I usually buy it from them anyway.”

Josuke didn’t answer. His head rested in his palm and his eyes were starry. A sigh escaped his lips. Okuyasu could barely contain his restlessness. “Are you even listening—”

“Sh.” Josuke held his finger to his lips, his gaze still directed elsewhere. Okuyasu looked on at his friend in disbelief. Did Josuke just hush him? “Just a little longer, alright Okuyasu?”

“It’s friday afternoon,” Okuyasu hissed underneath his breath. He’d lowered his voice now, maybe that would satisfy Josuke. “We’ve been here three times this week already. And we stay here for hours just sitting here doing nothing. Maybe we should actually do our homework here from now on, so at least we have nothing else to do when we get home.”

Realization washed over Josuke’s face. Of course. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

On their way out, they accidentally walked into you—well, Josuke did. Okuyasu, relieved to have finally gotten Josuke to leave, apologized rather brusquely on behalf of his friend. “Sorry about my friend! He’s a little starry eyed right now.”

You waved it off wordlessly, watching with interest as they made their exit. “So...Josuke Higashikata’s got a crush on someone who goes here.”

***

You immediately drop this theory once the next week rolls around, because he’s suddenly decided to actually study at his usual spot. Okuyasu has joined him in his study sessions too. Eventually Koichi comes, his girlfriend Yukako in tow and helps them review. You’re surprised. Mostly because you didn’t think delinquents would really care about their school work but perhaps you were just being judgemental. Maybe he just developed a newfound love for books.

This could explain why he looked longingly at the shelves every so often. One time, you caught him staring in your direction, his mind clearly wandering off. You wondered what he could possibly be thinking about. Eventually he’d take breaks from studying and would circle around the library to stretch his legs. He’d even pass by you two or three times, and would sheepishly return your polite nods. Studying can get uncomfortable, so it only makes sense to want to walk it off, though he seemed to take breaks pretty often. Sometimes every fifteen minutes. How peculiar!

They all began to sit near the children’s section, meaning they could technically talk a little louder than usual, since the children were fairly loud themselves. It also meant that you’d be seeing them pretty often.

Secretly, you dreaded shelving away items in the juvenile section—mostly because there were so many of them. Kids went through books rather quickly, and much to your annoyance, every one of your coworkers left you to shelve all these materials. After all, the kids seemed to listen to you. You were calm, and very difficult to irritate. You also were successful in getting them to calm down. Kids running around? Your calm and quiet voice often got them to settle back into their seats. A quick “be careful there, you’ll get hurt” and the little ones would quickly quiet down and go back to reading. You’d caught Josuke and his gang watching with interest as you dealt with the kids a few times, and the attention made you uncomfortable. You hoped they would quit staring soon.

After another week, Josuke found it hard to hide his crush from his friends. While they noticed Josuke’s strange behavior, it never occurred to them that it was because of his crush on one of the library pages. But it became all too obvious when they’d caught him spacing out, shamelessly peering at you over the edge of his chemistry textbook.

Their cackles were loud enough for you to notice, and you too ended up catching him in the act. Maybe they were making fun of you? You did trip on some building blocks a few seconds ago. You immediately scurried off to the nearby cart and hid behind the shelves, desperate to avoid any more attention or embarrassment.

“Oh, I see Josuke,” Okuyasu cooed, nudging the pompadoured teen.

Josuke playfully nudged Okuyasu back. “What? She’s cute. Think she goes to our school?”

“I think,” Koichi murmured, glancing back and forth from Josuke to you. “I think she might be in my class.”

After some digging and snooping around, they’d found out that you were, in fact, one of Koichi’s classmates. You were extremely polite, had some of the best grades in your class, and even had a close and affectionate relationship with your parents. Okuyasu and Koichi find it amusing that Josuke’s developed such an intense crush on a goody-two-shoes but welcome this unexpected discovery nonetheless. Perhaps you would be a good influence on him.

They all went back to their work, and eventually Koichi and Yukako left. When you finished your shift, you noticed Okuyasu and Josuke were still hunched over their notes, stuck on the same chemistry problem that they were tackling earlier. Although they were strangers, you felt some sense of familiarity with them. After all, they had been coming to the library for five weeks now, and they were often bumping into you. At some point, Josuke had even asked you where some of the Geometry books were.

Maybe you were well acquainted enough to approach them? Although you were definitely lacking in social graces when it came to people over the age of ten, you figured now would be a good time to push yourself. So what if they’re delinquents? You inhaled sharply, and before you knew it you were already making your way towards your classmates. They hadn’t even noticed you peering over their shoulders. A quick “ahem” brought their attention however.  

Josuke jumped when he realized that you snuck up on them. He stared after you in confusion. Okuyasu, on the other hand could barely hide the grin on his face.

“I noticed you’re having trouble with this one problem,” you tapped on the molarity question. “I could help you two if you like. Chemistry is one of my best subjects.”

“Oh? I guess she should help you then, huh Josuke?” Josuke shot a threatening glare towards Okuyasu, but upon remembering that you were still waiting for an answer, he veered his neck the other way to face you.

He flashed a dazzling smile and immediately accepted your help. “We’d appreciate it actually.”

You’d gone through several problems and it seemed they finally understood what you meant. You even worked through an entire chapter with them. Okuyasu immediately caught notice of the time and excused himself, leaving you with Josuke. You awkwardly shuffled your feet.

Ah. So... what exactly happens now? Should you ask about schoolwork again?

“So.” You jumped at the sudden interruption. “Do you have a name?”

You snorted at the question. What a strange way to ask for someone’s name! He’s certainly sillier than he looks. “I-I mean, of course you have a name, I just.. I’d like to actually know it. That way I can thank you properly.”

“It’s y/n.”

“Y/n huh? Thanks for helping out with Chemistry. And, for the library card.”

You nodded and murmured a quick acknowledgement of his thanks. And then silence ensued.

Josuke broke the silence with an awkward cough. “Do you go to Budogaoka High School? I think I would’ve remembered a face like yours.” The quirk in your brow sent him into a panic as he realized what he’d implied. “I-I mean you’re very cute, so—um.” You gave him a few seconds to recover, trying hard not to smile as he shrugged. “Yeah...”

The small smile you gave him in reply was enough to calm him down. “To answer your question, I go to Budogaoka... Class 1-A.”

“Oh that explains it. I’m in 1-B, so it makes sense that I haven’t really seen you around. We’ve never bumped into each other before have we?”

“Actually… we were in the same classes all throughout junior high,” you admittedsheepishly.

“Really?!” Josuke slouched forward and buried his face into his hands.

“It’s really not a big deal! I kind of stick to the walls,” you laughed, patting an awkwardly reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Josuke looked down at you and greeted you with that same infectious smile. “Sorry I kept you here after work…” His voice trailed off, but he continues when his eyes meet yours. “But you really helped us out with reviewing. Do you think you can study with us too? I mean, when you’re not working, obviously.”

His chuckle sent your heart into overdrive. A flash of heat was beginning to burn through your cheeks. Josuke took notice and his lips broke into a goofy smile. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

You nodded your head furiously and turned away, hoping you wouldn’t embarrass yourself any further.

Josuke walked you home afterwards. As it turned out, he was actually a very friendly and kind person. And while he certainly looked the part, Josuke Higashikata was no delinquent. Your conversation was cut short when a tall and handsome man pulled his car over, rolling the window down to tell Josuke that they needed to talk. Josuke asked his new companion to wait for just a few minutes, before walking you to your doorstep.

“Sorry,” he explained. “My nephew’s in town right now so he’ll want to catch up with me.”

“Nephew? He looks older than you.” you peered over his shoulder at the offstandish stranger.

“It’s a long story…” he laughed and waited until you were inside before going back to Jotaro, whose signature stoic expression faded away, revealing the all-knowing smirk on his lips.

“What’re you looking at Jotaro?”

“Gimme a break Josuke.” He tipped his hat to cover his eyes, sighing loud enough for all of Morioh to hear. “And go flirt with girls some other time, I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

A violent red blush spread over his neck and spilled onto his cheeks. “L-let’s... Let’s go home then.”

***

Josuke started coming to the library every day during the week, and you’d even held conversations with him a few times. At first conversation was hard to sustain, given how you didn’t have anything in common, but as it turns out you were wrong about that—you both liked playing video games. In fact, you both exchanged cheats every now and then.

“No way!” you exclaimed. “I had no idea that you could do that on the final boss...”

The smug expression on Josuke’s face coaxed a few giggles from you. He’s so unbelievably silly. The Josuke fanclub at school would never believe that Josuke Higashikata was not the suave delinquent they believed him to be. “Yeah, I couldn’t believe it when I found out either!”

Eventually you had grown comfortable enough to tease him and act silly. Work was dreadful, but seeing Josuke everyday made it exciting. He was a wonderful friend and even better company, especially during your shifts. You were thankful that this awful job made it possible for you to befriend Josuke. He was so kind and thoughtful. Every shift felt excruciatingly long, and you were often running around the library doing tedious work.

Sometimes, other libraries would request certain books and you’d be tasked with finding them. Before you befriended Josuke, this task would take you around an hour to complete; there were just so many books in the library and people often reshelved them incorrectly. Recently, however, all of these books would—oddly enough—suddenly appear in the cart. You could’ve sworn you’d seen them all magically hover around the library mid-air, but that would just be silly.

After a particularly exhausting day at school, you dragged your feet at work and simply felt too taxed to do anything, much less trudge through a 4 hour shift. Josuke certainly noticed the change in your demeanor, and when you were too busy to even greet them and chat for a few minutes, he’d gotten up from his seat, telling his friends he would be taking a break from studying.

It took him several minutes to find you but once he did, he understood why you hadn’t stopped by.

You were standing on the tips of your toes straining to reach the top shelf, large Geography reference book in hand. To be honest, Josuke thinks it’s adorable; you’ve puffed your cheeks in frustration, hair is haphazardly falling into your eyes, and best of all you hadn’t even thought of using the footstool that lay on the ground three feet away from you. He thinks that bringing it over to you would probably be the nicer thing to do, but nice wasn’t exactly what he was going for at the moment.

Hard at work, you’d been trying your hardest to get this heavy book onto the shelf when a calloused hand comes into your view, and when it hovered overhead, you yelped and fell backwards. 

Into Josuke, of course.

“J-Josuke?!”

“Sorry about that,” he hummed softly. “It just looked like you were having trouble… May I…?”

He gestures towards the book in your hands, and your lips part, mouth forming an “o” shape. Josuke came over to help you. You sheepishly relinquish the book, hands accidentally brushing against Josuke’s fingers. It’s just like the time you’d accidentally touched his hand when you’d given him his library card, only this time, he doesn’t flinch or back away. You look up and immediately find yourself lost in those blue eyes. You’ve always thought he was handsome, but now that you’ve gotten a closer look at him you can’t help but smile.

You snap out of these thoughts as soon as he’s finished putting the book away, and mutter a quick word of thanks before walking over to your cart. But you realize he’d placed the book in the wrong spot, and shyly ask him to move it a couple of spots down. Apparently he’d never heard of the Dewey Decimal System, so you give him a quick run through, just to give him an idea of how everything was organized. You realize he may not need your help finding textbooks anymore, but you’re happy to teach him either way.

“And you have to learn all of that?” He asked in astonishment.

“Most people do— I’ve been going here since I was five years old, so I’d like to think I know it pretty well.” You say, eyes gleaming bright.

Josuke can’t help but notice that your movements are a little sluggish today, and when he sees the cart completely covered top to bottom in books, CD’s and cassette tapes, he immediately decides to assist you.

“Josuke,” you started. “I really don’t want to keep you from studying. I know it’s a heavy cart, but I can handle it.”

Josuke shakes his head, pushing the cart at a steady pace. “I needed to take a break from studying anyway.”

He’d never quite understand why you were working here, but he can’t say he can complain; the only reason he was able to befriend you was because of your job.

Of course, you’d never hung out with Josuke and his friends outside of the library. Sometimes you worried whether they truly wanted to hang out with you. Perhaps they just needed help with homework and were nice enough to provide you some company while you worked. But these thoughts immediately flew to the back of your mind whenever you saw them at the library. They were all so kind and friendly. Work really didn’t seem as bad as it used to be.

And that was when when they got you fired.

It was an accident really. And Josuke apologized profusely afterwards.

In reality, it was just like any other day; you were helping the four of them with practice questions in the middle of your shift, and went back to reshelving books as per usual. One of your classmates recently noticed your expanding social circle, and immediately took it upon himself to keep you from associating with hooligans like Josuke Higashikata. He scoured the entire library in search of you and was relieved to find you alone, working.

“Didn’t know you started doing charity work, Y/n.”

You jump at your classmate’s intrusion. “Oh, it’s just you Tooru. Though, I ought to correct you; I’m not volunteering.. I mean I work here, but I get paid next to nothing and my boss is pretty scary, so I suppose you could call it charity work...” Your voice trails off once you realize how awful your job is.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” He huffed, pointing an accusatory finger towards your friends. “Why would you hang out with people like them ?”

“Them..?” You realize he’s pointing at your new friends, and suddenly get defensive. “You know, Josuke, Okuyasu, Koichi and Yukako are actually really really friendly and kind!” you whispered frantically, hoping your friends couldn’t hear what your classmate was saying.

With that, you turn the other way and push your book cart elsewhere, hoping he would get the message and either apologize or leave you and your friends alone. He does neither of these things, and continues to follow you as you walk away.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” he rasped, trying his best to keep up with you. “Did you forget what happened last year? A man was run over by an ambulance last year and they all just “happened to be there.” Don’t you think that’s suspicious?”

You stare at him incredulously, hissing under your breath. “That man was a murderer and their presence that day was probably just a coincidence. They couldn’t have murdered that psycho.”

Tooru brushed it off and insisted you cease any further interaction with them. “Regardless, they attract way too much trouble. You could get into a messy situation if you keep— “

A familiar presence crept behind you. “Is everything alright Y/n?”

“Josuke,” you chirped. When Josuke interrupted, you loosened up almost immediately, realizing then that he’d stopped studying to come to your aid. “Y-You… You need to study for your exam! Let’s go back to the others.”

Tooru doesn’t let Josuke go very easily, however, sidestepping his way into your intended escape route. “Actually, there is a problem. Leave Y/n alone. You’re going to get her into trouble.”

Josuke’s surprised to hear this. In all honesty, he’d been watching you ever since you left their table to go back to work. Your classmate’s sudden appearance caught his attention, and he certainly didn’t like what he was seeing. From his perspective, Tooru was tailing you around the library and getting you flustered. If he hadn’t known any better, he would have guessed that someone was asking you on a date, and harassing you for an answer at that.

Koichi begged him to ignore it, knowing it could cause trouble, but Okuyasu egged him on, warning him that he ought to take his chance right there before someone else asks you out. So here he was.

The boys were at a standoff for quite a few minutes. On the outside both seemed rather calm. Tooru was trying his best to tell Josuke to leave you alone, that he should think of your wellbeing. The lack of cooperation on Josuke’s part pisses him off more than anything though, so he starts to insult you and question your decision making. You never would’ve guessed your classmate would say such things but you’re more worried that Josuke might believe the unbelievable bullshit that’s coming right out of his—

“I think Y/n can make these decisions for herself, so you should scram.” He waves the air in between them, eyes blank and uninterested.

You wonder how he’s remained so calm towards the other boy, because if you were to assess your feelings, “pissed” would be a pretty good word to use. Tooru on the other hand seems pretty pissed at Josuke’s dismissiveness.

Of course, as a last ditch effort, Tooru implores you to simply listen to him. Delinquents are delinquents, he reasoned. Apparently you were above hanging out with “losers like that.” Regardless of whether they were dangerous, you could hang out with much better people than Josuke. You had good grades and people liked you. Why would you need to hang out with losers who sat on the ground outside Owson? It seemed as though he could go on forever, and you wanted him to stop.

Slapping him in the face wouldn’t nearly be enough to tell him off or stand up for your friends but being around Josuke encourages you to exercise self control. Josuke’s probably the most hot headed person you know, and if he can stay calm right now, then how hard could it be for you?

“Tooru sure is an idiot isn’t he, Josuke? All talk and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—let’s go somewhere else!” you chittered nervously, taking hold of his hand and trying your best to guide him elsewhere. Josuke’s face is beet red at the sudden contact, but you’re too absorbed in your task to even notice.

“Josuke’s got the dumbest haircut the town’s ever seen, and I’m the idiot? What the hell, Y/n!”

You stiffen at the jabs. Josuke could turn into a beast when it came to his hair— you’d never seen it in person, but the stories were almost legendary. All it took to piss him off were a couple of offhand comments. But of all places for this to happen, it just had to be at your job. You quickly let go of his hand and accepted your fate. You were definitely as good as fired now.

One punch. That was all it took to shut him up. He staggered backwards into a nearby shelf and covered his broken, bloody nose with his hands before ducking out of the library. Much to your surprise, Josuke didn’t take it any further. Although the insults certainly rubbed him the wrong way, he held back. Having a big fight at your workplace could get you into trouble, so one punch would have to do. It’s not like anyone saw anyway.

Or so he thought. To your absolute horror, your boss had seen everything. He immediately called you into his office, berating you for flirting with boys on the job and starting a fight in the middle of the library.

You realize that making excuses would only make you look bad, that remaining silent and taking the abuse is better than wasting your breath on your grumpy boss. Besides— if you were going to look at it objectively, you indirectly caused the fight (if you could even call it that) to begin with. While it wasn’t your fault, you still felt guilty. Not towards the library of course; you should have stood up for your friends more. Josuke and his friends didn’t deserve to be spoken of in such a way.

Josuke, Okuyasu, Yukako and Koichi watched as you received the harsh scolding. The walls barely muffled your boss’ yelling, and it wouldn’t surprise you if everyone in the library could hear what was being said. Under any other circumstance you might have felt guilty or ashamed, but you were so fed up with work lately that you were just waiting to be permanently dismissed.

It took nearly every ounce of strength in Josuke’s body to remain where he stood, to leave you be. He nearly barged into the office when the yelling escalated, but Yukako intervened— something about girls not liking boys who stick their noses into other people’s business, and that you weren’t a baby that needed to be shielded from her boss. Josuke agreed but still felt guilty for not being able to apologize on your behalf.

The door swung open and they immediately ceased further discussion. The four of them watched as you subsequently pulled your coat on and exited the building. It takes an additional few seconds for them to realize that one of the librarians has been speaking to them, informing them that just like you, they would be banned from coming to the library again. Koichi is rather distressed about this, and Josuke makes sure to soothe him before running after you.

Unfortunately for him, by the time he’s parted with his friends and exited the library, you are long gone.

***

He searched every square inch of Morioh to look for you. You weren’t at the library (for obvious reasons), he could never quite catch you before you left your house for school, and his swarm of admirers made it nearly impossible to find you at school.

You felt guilty about it, but if he hadn’t spoken to you before you worked at the library, who’s to say that he’d want to keep talking to you after you were fired? And while you hadn’t gone out of your way to avoid him, you still weren’t actively seeking him out.

But Josuke isn’t the kind to give up, so after several long days of looking for you, he is finally met with success.

He’d gone to the rooftop to eat lunch that day. The past few days were discouraging to say the least. You had been fired, thanks in no small part to him. It’s only right that you would be angry with Josuke. The only way he could make it up to you at this point was to apologize.

Although his friends insisted that they eat lunch together, Josuke felt too downtrodden to spend time with anyone at the moment, so he snuck off to the rooftops to eat in solitude. Not the best punishment for the terrible crime he committed against you, but it would have to do for now.

You’re the last person he expects to see there. Part of him wants to sneak up on you the way he used to in the library, but it just doesn’t seem right. So he simply announces his arrival.

“Hey, Y/n... It’s me, Josuke—the idiot who got you fired?”

“Oh, Josuke.” You shuffle your feet a little. “How are you?”

You felt so incredibly guilty for not sticking up for any of your friends. And while it was true that no one hated you at school, people weren’t nearly as kind or welcoming as Koichi, Yukako, Okuyasu or Josuke were. You felt completely happy spending time with them.

But the truth of it was that you’d never hung out with them outside of the library, and they’d never mentioned wanting to hang out with you anywhere else, so now that you were fired, they’d probably lose interest in you.

You’re surprised then, when Josuke apologizes to you.

“I’m really sorry…” He’s sitting next to you now, hunched over his lunchbox. He looked much smaller in this position. “I should have let it go, really... and I shouldn’t care about what people think of my hair, but I do, and now I got you fired and I know you’re mad at me—”

“Are you kidding me?”

He flinched.

You playfully nudge him in the shoulder. “Josuke,” you start with a giggle. “I’ve been dying to leave that awful job.”

He sat there dumbly, staring at you in disbelief. “Really?”

“Yeah!” You paused for a few seconds. Now it was your turn to apologize. “I’m sorry about my classmate… These past few weeks made my job so much easier, so it felt like I just spat on your friendship. I should’ve done a better job of telling him off or something.”

Josuke took your hand and gently gave it a squeeze. “I don’t think any amount of talking will change that guy’s mind. We were more worried about you. But if we're going to be honest, he’s kind of got a point.”

“No," You argue. "He couldn’t be any more wrong about you. You’re all nice people.”

“But, Y/n—" he began in a mockingly authoritative tone. “‘Delinquents are delinquents,’ remember?”

You held your sides and shook violently. It was nice to be able to joke and laugh around Josuke again. “Does this make me a delinquent now, too?” 

“Oh yeah,” Josuke nods, matter-of-factly. “You’re one of us now.”

The smirk on his face brings a goofy grin to your face. As a delinquent, you are naturally not afraid of anything, so with this newly found confidence and self assurance, you ask him:

“So… are you doing anything after school?”

[mysticalibra1994]

My BNHA Fanfic / OC's story (part 2)

Okay, so in this part, we're gonna learn more about Chou and why she treated the Purple Yokai with respect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The year was 20XX. Akaguro Chizome has become Stendhal. All Might is what everyone's talking about.

"Wow, that Stendhal guy is so mysterious..."

Well, almost everyone... The person that said that was none other than Kubo Chou. A 2nd year and a class rep from her school. Due to the school's strict code, no student is allowed to use their Quirk. Thanks to that, almost nobody knows that Chou is Quirkless. Unfortunately, the only people that know this is her mother and her regular doctor. In this day and age, you'd think that being "secretly Quirkless" would make her anti-social due to the fear of her secret being outed.

Luckily for Chou, she didn't let that stop her from being social. In fact, it's one of the reasons why and how she became the class rep. Everyone in her school loves the way she lights up a room when she walks in. Unfortunately, the only thing that prevents her from being a part of the student council is her status.

Her mother is practically a single mother despite being married. This causes her mother to gain a backbone and say what's on her mind, no matter what the phrase "shoganai" states. This even causes Chou to be a strong and independent woman. This was unheard of since women in this day and age strive for a career and a husband to bear children with.

Another best thing about her? She's open-minded. In fact, she's the first in her class to make friends with the juvenile delinquents from her school. I know what you're thinking: "What kind of class rep. would ever make friends with juvenile delinquents?" I'll tell ya "what kind", the social kind that's open-minded. Behind the school, were the delinquents, including Kurutta Isha. He's been mistreated by society for two reasons; being Quirkless, and "accidentally" getting even with a bully with a mont blanc that can "knock you out". He's been baking small pastries with OTC medicine ever since he got a hold of medical textbooks during his middle school years. According to legend, when he's fully concentrating on his work, only his right eyebrow raises up and he mutters like a mad doctor (hence his nickname).

"Hey, there." "So,ifIheatupthetryptophanandincreasetheglucose,thenthosepeskyProHeroeswon'tbeaproblemanymore..." "Um, hello?" "IfStendhalnoticesmyhardwork,thenmaybehe'llmakemehisapprentice..." "Hello?" "Ifnot,thenmaybethatShigarakigu- Huh? Oh, what do you want? Come to look at the lonely freak?" "What? Why would I think of you as a freak?" "Oh, I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with my mannerisms. Or maybe the fact that I'm Quirkless and I've been kicked out of five schools and this is my last ticket!" "To where?" "T-to anywhere! To a place where... Where I can be myself without being labeled as a villain." "Oh... Does that happen often?" "Yeah..." He sighs, deeply. "In more ways than one. I understand that there are things that can't be helped, but..." "But, it's not fair?" "Let's just say that both my mother and my doctor knows my... disadvantage." "You mean you're..." "Yeah... But, that doesn't mean that I have to stop myself from being myself."

And just like that, Isha remembers his first encounter with Papa... It was about three years ago. His recent scars show that he'd just got into a fight that wasn't his fault; he looked too similar to a fallen UA student due to his hair. Now, he stands on the rooftop of a familiar-looking building, thinking about how he got here and more...

"Tch. How ironic, I'm on top of the building owned by the No. 1 Hero who claims to be here. Yet, he's not here... I know that behind that fancy Quirk of his, he's human like the rest of us, but he should've picked a better slogan than 'I am here!'!"

Unbeknownst to him, a tall bouncer-like guy in a cashmere tyrian suit and a silk gold tie stands behind him at a reasonable distance. That guy was the one, the only... Papa. Papa gently clears his throat, not wanting to spook the poor kid.

"Whatever you have to say, save it. If you're here, then I'm sure that you've heard what happened and want me to be locked up, and face the consequences of my actions or some BS." "I could, but then I would be a hypocrite. Son, you may not believe me, but I know what you're going through. I know it's difficult, but what you're thinking isn't the answer. It's going to make them respect you. What you're thinking right now will only make things worse by erasing your side of the story." "So, y-you believe me? Even after hearing what happened?" "Of course. Like that TV doctor from the States once said, 'no matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has both sides'. Trust me, one side of this pancake is more burned than the other side." "Unless if it's for crepes, our pancakes aren't thin. But, I get what you're saying." "Speaking of pancakes, I hear there's a place that serves pancakes with a side salad. How about you follow me, we'll safely get off of this building, I'll pay for All Might's drinks, we'll get some pancakes with salad, and then we'll get some new threads for you. How does that sound?" "...can I have a new place to stay? My old man kicked me out for being too invested in science and mom... became a doormat, but it's not Quirk-related." "Of course, son. My parents kicked me out after my pediatrician told them that I was Quirkless via phone. Now, I don't know where they are and they don't care where I am."

Papa saved his life by being there for him. Now, it's time for Isha to be with Chou; seeing each other in secrecy (it was Isha's plan, so her reputation wouldn't be tarnished. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, so the next part may hit close to home for some readers, but some things must and has to be said. No more will the truth forever hide amongst the shadows. The best way to describe it is two simple words: "Buckle up".

[captain-fofa-stuff]

Everything Wrong with FE Fates’ Narrative: Peri

This one...took a while to write. Mostly in trying to figure out how I wanted to address it, as well as doing some research for my point. But enough delay--time for the worst character in the game.

Oh Peri, there are so many things wrong with you. Outside of just being a gender-flipped Henry from Awakening, you are one of the most disliked characters in the game, and it largely comes from your creators forgetting how to do your character properly like they did with Henry.

One problem with Peri is that the narrative rarely implies what she did was wrong. With Henry in Awakening, it was implied through several reactions from several other characters in support conversations that what he did was not okay (I remember Ricken’s certainly doing so). You could probably count the number of times that Peri’s support conversations has someone call her out on this on one hand, and even then it rarely leads to anything. With Keaton (who she wanted to tag along with on hunting), she turned her attention to attacking people to get him to comply; Laslow/Inigo is the only one who tells her that her killing people would affect their families, which actually seems to get some guilt into her, but because it’s a support conversation (and also an optional thing to unlock, meaning it can never happen if the player doesn’t pursue it), it doesn’t exactly last into the main scenario or in her battle quotes. Character development doesn’t exactly have an effect if you don’t let it get to sink in or have changes in the character’s dialogue after it, no matter how minor--then again, that probably would’ve wasted time and money when the developers had a deadline to follow.

Another problem with her is that the audience is supposed to find her backstory sympathetic, as if that absolves all of the deaths she caused. It’s revealed in her supports, namely Laslow/Inigo’s, that she walked in on the violent death of her mother, which made her think that all servants were the ones who killed her mother, locked her into a childish mindset, and started her love of killing when she did so to the servants thanks to the former. However, she’s been killing for years, so her kill count must be in the dozens (if not hundreds) by the time the game’s started, and she shows no remorse for it at all, or realize the people she killed were innocents who had nothing to do with her mother’s death. Her childish behaviours are not endearing, like referring to herself in the third person being annoying (particularly to international audiences), her single-minded focus on killing, and her immature and overblown reactions to things not going her way. All of those traits combined generally hurt her case of trying to be likeable to the audience.

And she’s also supposed to be a good guy, despite her track record, which means we’re supposed to like her. We boo and hiss at characters like Iago or Hans for killing people for shits and giggles, yet we’re supposed to like Peri who kills innocents on a whim? If it’s bad when a villain intentionally murders someone with glee (particularly without it being done in self-defense), it’s a bad thing when your protagonist does it, and Peri should be no exception.

It doesn’t help that she fits several criteria on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. Sure, she doesn’t get a 20/20, and I’m not a psychiatrist, but the ones she does get are disturbing:

Glib and superficial charm: She fits in this category in the way she’s rarely conscious of what she says or the impression it could make on others.

Need for stimulation or proneness to boredom: Her backstory said she went into battle so she could forget her pain, and it ended up being one of the few things that actually stimulates her.

Conning and Manipulativeness: As I mentioned before, in the support with Keaton, he only lets her come along when she starts threatening to kill innocent people when she doesn’t get her way. And that’s not including some of the threats she throws in a few of the S supports when love is confessed.

Lack of remorse or guilt: It takes her supports with Laslow/Inigo to actually start learning that it would be wrong to kill people on a whim. That should be telling enough.

Shallow Affect: Her range of emotions is rather limited in how childish they are portrayed. It’s only happiness, frustration/anger, or sadness.

Callousness and lack of empathy: Again, Laslow/Inigo had to teach her how her actions impacted others and why that’s a bad thing.

Poor behavioural controls: Tries to kill Felicia in their supports because Felicia accidentally spilled tea on her; throws tantrums without a second thought if she isn’t allowed to kill or attack someone; takes and drinks Kagero’s tea without waiting to get a cup of her own in their supports, and this just a few of the examples that we see for ourselves.

Early behaviour problems: She was doing her thing since childhood. Enough said.

Lack of realistic, long term goals: She didn’t aim to be Xander’s retainer as a goal--he hired her after she placed high enough into a tournament, and she largely left her home because there were no more servants to kill, not giving thought of what she might do afterwards. That’s not a realistic, long term goal.

Impusivity: In her support with Leo, he actually stops her from just going on to killing people for no reason whatsoever. This is on top of killing people for perceived slights.

Juvenile Delinquency: Much like with the Early Behaviour Problems, she’s been doing this since she was a teenager too, and this is assuming that during the game’s events she’s an adult.

Revocation of Condition Release: She mentions that she had been punished by her father. Obviously, that didn’t stick. And again, when others try to punish her, she simply tries to kill anyway, or go around it.

12/20 based off of what was seen in the game. That’s at least half the damn list. The line between a psychopath and a sociopath is a blurry one, but the former largely does not have a conscience, while the latter has an extremely weak one. Given that she only gets something resembling a conscience with Laslow/Inigo, it’s safe to say she fits more towards the former than the latter.

I suspect that an in-universe explanation for why Peri hasn’t been arrested or charged with crimes is that she is the only child of a noble. After all, someone would have to carry on the line for her family and provide an heir to the title, lands, and fortune that her family would have. Never mind that nobles had often been punished for crimes that they’ve done--Elizabeth Bathory comes to mind. And in the Victorian era, even nobles had been sent into insane asylums, which is what certainly would’ve happened to Peri when it became clear that she’s suffering from an inability to not kill people (and being sent into an insane asylum was pretty much a death sentence back in the day, considering the kinds of “treatments” that went on in there). Either that or the eye that’s hidden behind bangs has magic powers that alter other people’s behaviour so that she doesn’t have to suffer consequences--it would certainly explain how Xander pretty much lets her off scot-free when he’s a crown prince with an image to maintain that her actions would certainly damage.

The final nail in the coffin with her is that her trait of killing innocent people? It makes up about 80% of her characterization, the last 20% of it going towards how good of a cook she is (given how impulsive she can be, I question that one greatly since cooking takes a lot of patience and focus). Is there anything she likes besides those, like horse-riding (which would explain her being a cavalier)? Card games? Playing instruments? Reading? Henry at least liked making bad jokes, animals, and a knowledge of dark spells. Peri has very little to go on, which kind of makes her boring too.

The only way to rescue Peri is to rewrite every single one of her supports from scratch. Make it so that people are horrified at what she does and call her out for her actions. Make her realize what she did was wrong--have her develop in the right direction. Make her face the consequences of her impulses. Unlike Oboro, who is also never called out on her ugly trait, Peri has virtually no other personality traits besides enjoying inflicting death on people, and she has no redeeming qualities, and that makes it difficult, if not outright impossible, for the audience to sympathize with her and care about her--or want her to succeed.

[tavarillasgalen]

Moments from 2016

the good from this year. 

that time you decided to finally go do that Wind Caves hike. all on your own, with your ice trekkers, amazed at the views and loving the gentle snowfall. leaving with the sensation of satisfaction at finally having done something you wanted too, which would end up a reoccurring theme throughout the year. 

that time you went to a vegan cafe, the Vertical Diner, with your best friend and talked for five hours about everything and nothing. you both knew you were dating, but didn’t know if the other person knew.

that time said best friend and you went to Badass Coffee and he straight-up asked if you liked him. of course you lied, and he lied too, and you both laughed knowing that the other person would lie regardless and so not knowing, even though you both did. talking for hours. going on a drive, him showing you his childhood and his favorite music. going to your house and continuing to show each other favorite songs, and then ordering that Domino’s 6 cheese pizza, which your roommates ended up eating most of, but you didn’t mind. it was the first time you’d hung out for 10 hours, but it felt like nothing.

all those times you hung out with your roommates, drinking wine, playing Apples to Apples, studying, talking, petting Shanks (the best cat in the whole wide world). All the teasing insistence that Gano liked you, you insisting he didn’t. All the heart-to-hearts. All the excited plans. The laughing talking about how there should be a tv show about you five, they’d call it ‘The Roommates’. 

that time you went to a Gatsby dance with your roommates at the Gateway, had your first taste of hard liquor and rode a comfortable buzz all night. Dancing and taking pictures and grinding with strangers. Afterwards, vaping and drinking and chilling until the group you had gone with left, then going across the street to party a bit more, then continuing down to where you used to live in Century and chilling and drinking with those guys. You met Justis there. Going on a drive with your roommate and him and another guy, stopping by McDonalds, then heading to a viewpoint and looking at the snowy city sparkle in the night. You had your first kiss in that car, unexpectedly.

all of those times when you went to parties with your roommates or had parties at your house. you vaped, you smoked weed, you drank beers and hard liquor, you kissed strangers, you got to know so many new people. that time when you left the party in January with no shoes or socks to go to a guy’s house and smoked and drank some beers, and then ventured back. naturally after that, you got sick. you tried strawberry cigars, got forehead kisses from that guy you had Ethics with and had kissed. you played beer pong and rage cage and passed the bong around and laughed and laughed and laughed. good nights with good people. feeling like this is what college is about. 

your first few weeks at the U, so excited, knowing that you’ve found your niche, loving the overall vibe, the campus, the classes, the professors, figuring out you wanted to major in Sociology. amazed by how big everything was compared to Westminster. accidentally making friends with the girl next to you in Juvenile Delinquency when you took a snap of the lecture hall, and she thought you were taking a picture of her. It was quickly cleared up, and you became class friends. 

that time you rushed, originally planning on joining Alpha Phi, but ended up going Alpha Chi, but it was hard, because you loved both sororities and the girls in all of them, but Alpha Chi’s philanthropy resonated with you most, Domestic Violence Awareness. So excited to meet so many girls, so excited to get your bid. So excited to belong. 

that time, the first day of Peace and Conflict Studies, when you met your big. You thought she was cool, she urged you to rush, your professor had you “fall in love in five minutes” by asking each other all these questions. Leaving with such a sense of home and contentment with your choices and excited to get to know people better and to go Greek. 

that time you auditioned for the Vagina Monologues, and got in. It would end up being such an empowering experience, surrounded by empowering women, that would fill you with such pride. pride to be on the stage again, finally. proud of the talent around you, the sense of community. proud to be a part of such a good cause. so goddamn proud, such a good experience, that you cannot wait to do again this year. loving the vagina cupcakes and the random run to Rubio’s with a couple that would ask for your whole life story, loving that feeling that this, this is what you are meant for. 

that time you agreed to be friends with benefits with your best friend, had all of your first sexual experiences with him, and he was so good and kind and gentle. 

that time your roommates brought you along to a guy’s birthday party at his family’s cabin up in the mountains. you played rage cage, went drunk sledding in the back down this huge hill in waist-deep snow, laughing, having the time of your life. you and another guy had drinks together and talked and you danced in the basement, he taught you how to salsa. waking up to that stunning view out the huge windows behind the massive christmas tree of snow-covered trees and the other mountains around.

that time you felt left out while partying, so you went to a movie night at Mariah’s after Gano invited you. You were tipsy and didn’t pay much attention, but you got to catch up with some of your Westminster friends and cuddle and fall asleep on Gano. 

that time you had sex with another guy, but it felt like cheating on your friend with benefits, so you told him how awful you felt about it, crying all the while. He had no voice, you were a teary mess, but you decided to be exclusive and date each other. You cuddled your new boyfriend, went out to get burgers and fries and shakes, saw Deadpool, and he cuddled with you until you feel asleep. 

that time the day after you got your new boyfriend it was Valentine’s day, he brought you chocolates and flowers and a stuffed unicorn, and you had sex, then went out to dinner, on you. 

that time you went to your boyfriend’s birthday party and met his parents. You tried Smirnoff ice for the first time and were able to chill with him, his best friend, and one of the neighborhood girls, playing beer pong, cards against humanity, and just talking and listening to music. Cuddling in his bed after. 

that time you went on a drunk adventure with two Kappa Sigs in Hurricane, swung on swings, jumped on trampolines in people’s yards, stole a traffic cone, and talked and laughed. they told you you were so cool and that you had to hang out with them some more. 

that time in Zion when you smoked weed in a port-a-potty with Grady and Tim and Mica, the first time you really had a solid conversation and became friends. They told you were were a fucking badass and admired your loyalty to your bf and not sleeping with the guy who’d been hitting on you the whole trip. 

that time you and your boyfriend went to your parent’s condo in St. George, and felt like real adults, going grocery shopping and cooking together (more like, he cooked and you drank wine). Sex on the king-sized bed, and multiple other areas in the place. Hiking up a volcano past mountain lions and having to “ski” back down, it was so shale-y. Cliff-jumping in Sand Hollow and getting a nosebleed from the impact, chilling out in a little cove after. Listening to Broadway musicals on the drive.

that time you took a self-defense class with the National Guard and learned how to block and attack and get away should someone try to rape you. You flipped a 200 lb guy over your shoulder, how cool is that? You left early to go to work, but felt like such a badass, knowing all that you learned about how to defend yourself. 

that time when your sorority teamed up with Beta and Kappa Sig for Greek Week, a week full of bonding and drinking and smoking and competing. you won, much to the disdain of the other groups. 

that time you got your nose pierced and felt like such a badass for a month until it got ripped out. 

that time when you found out who your big was, following the yarn all around the sorority house until you found your bag with its peanut butter m&m’s and shirt and socks. you weren’t surprised it was Megan. you went to the Pie after, and then you and your big sat and talked in her room until you decided to go to Sigma Nu and did jello shots and had Mike’s and judged the people taking shots with live goldfish in them. Later going to Pike with Maria and Hannah, part of your sorority family, and smoking hookah for the first time. 

that time you went to a pole-dancing sisterhood. you learned that pole-dancing takes a lot more upper body strength than you thought, and how fun it is to spin around on the poles, and how accomplished you felt when you actually got one of the moves right. then you went to the silks and learned that that’s a lot harder than it looks too, but so cool and fun to swing around in and to get a move right. 

initiation week, sleeping over at Alpha Chi and bonding with your pledge class over crafting for your bigs and midnight runs to go buy flasks and talking late into the night. the beautiful ceremonies, the gifts from your big. Initiation day, worried you’d get hazed while eating noodles & co with your pledge class, but it ended up being a beautiful ceremony that you thought was so cool. getting Baskin Robins after and going to a cool little spot in a park where you were freezing. getting woken up at 4 am to go get breakfast with the other newly initiated members and their families at Ihop. Going to the liquor store with Kenzie and buying your first bottle (Smirnoff Blueberry). 

formal that same day, getting drunk at Sigma Nu, demanding pictures, none of which turned out well you were so smashed. Laughing and dancing and playing casino games all night. So fun and you felt so beautiful in your dress. going home after while your roommates were doing molly and cuddling with your boyfriend all night long. 

that time you and Grady went to Big Ed’s and you felt like you’d found a genuine friend over chicken tenders and fries.

all the times your boyfriend was there for you when no one else was and was willing to hang out with you or distract you with movies or trying new food places or adventures to get your mind off things. or if you didn’t feel like any of that, just being with you until you felt like the world was a bit more livable. 

that time before your boyfriend left to go do the Camino de Santiago and you hung out and had dinner at Porcupine and hung out some more. and then cried and cried and cried when it came time for him to go, because you wouldn’t see him for a month. 

that time when you went to Mead for your 20th birthday, and your bf sent you the sweetest messages from Spain. the girls you went with sang to you when they picked you up at 5 am. in Mead when you were drunk on the house boat, going down the slide, laughing, climbing back up the perilously steep ladder to go again, and dancing. happy. when Kirby took you and some other speed boating. you tried to find a place to go cliff jumping, but everything was rocks under water, so you jumped off the boat instead. he pulled out the tube, and you hung on for dear life, laughing with glee, baring your teeth at the waves. you lasted the longest out of everyone. where you camped on the beach, woke up with the sun, and drank all day long, sunbathing, playing flipcup, doing body-shots. getting a guy to take you jetskiing and he took you for a wild ride that you went flying and took him with you. all the times you went on a booze-cruise and had to be rescued because everyone was too drunk and you’d floated so far out in the lake. finding that dollar store on the way back. 

that time your boyfriend was there for you after you were sexually assaulted and was such a supportive presence even from thousands of miles away who helped with your ptsd. 

that time you went hiking with Mariah up Little Cottonwood and ended up going up the side of a little waterfall and then going on a chill trail after, just talking and catching up. turning around abruptly after Mariah went off the trail and nearly stepped on a snake. feeling like you have a friend here in Utah other than your boyfriend after you had a fall out with your roommates. 

that time you drove to the airport to welcome your boyfriend home from Spain, running into his parents there. almost crying when you saw him and hugged him again. hanging out with him and his parents at his house and hearing all about the Camino and seeing all the things he brought back with him. Cuddling in his bed, and feeling so grateful to have him back with you again. 

that time you moved into Alpha Chinda and felt like you and Lauren were basically the same person. It would turn into such a good friendship, the first girl best friend that you would have in years, who you felt like you could talk to about anything. 

that time when you got triggered while you and your boyfriend were having sex and he immediately stopped and comforted you and was so careful and considerate, figuring out your triggers, and making sure to avoid them from then on.

that time you and your boyfriend went to Lagoon, going on so many rollarcoasters, repeating some. Flying through the sky on the lift and on the twirly ride. Discovering the magic of Swig. Laughing and screaming and holding on tight. Seeing everything we could see. Driving up the canyon after to watch the stars. A successful day, but then, most days at amusement parks are. 

that time you and the bf went to Mellow Mushroom for the first time and decided it was the best pizza in Utah. Going up Big Cottonwood and starting one hike, then deciding to do a more lowkey one, loving the clear mountain air. going to get donuts another day and wandering around an art museum. All of the times you netflixed and chilled, all of the runs to Smith’s, all of the cuddles.

that time you and your bf went down to Sandy, watched a movie, had Mexican food, and went on a tour of your past, including going to Granite Park and doing the little hike you used to do all the time back in the day. you spent the night watching Anastasia and crying because the next day would be the last you’d see of him before he left for Bosnia and Croatia for two months. Going to the Original Pancake House the morning after to try and get more time together before the inevitable goodbye. 

that time you went hiking with Grady and the conversation never felt forced but flowed naturally. You went to Dog Lake and then ended up taking the wrong trail so that although you’d started in Millcreek Canyon, you ended up in Big Cottonwood. You went up the road searching for his car until you reached a lodge and gave up and called his cousin to come pick you both up, then found out what had happened and laughed. 

that night you went out to party for the first time since Mead at the Chateau. It was lowkey, but it was fun, and you rode a comfortable buzz while connecting with sisters you hadn’t seen since Spring semester ended.

that time you had French 2 with Ricardo and Brayden, and felt like you had friends in this class that met everyday for three hours for a month. You fumbled your way along, but it was made bearable by the people there. You felt like you and Brayden could be out of class friends, she was so nice and kind and smart. 

that time you found Acai with a Blend and reconnected with Vicky there, seeing her for the first time in half a year and talking for well over an hour, deciding you had to go on a double date together. going there with Christine later, and loving that you have been able to connect with such genuine lovely people in your sorority.

that time you and Lauren went to an arts festival and got caricatures done of the both of you. 

that time you and Lauren had gin and tonics and went to a concert at Westminster, and all of the roommate bonding nights you had. 

that time your boyfriend and you talked for hours on the phone while he was drunk in Bosnia, laughing at all of his antics.

all of your late night walks to Sugarhouse Park and back, having the house to yourself during the summer, getting a taste of living by yourself and liking it.

that time your boyfriend came back and you met him at the airport again. so grateful to have him back after those long two months. 

that time you went to Taggart Grill with your boyfriend and his parents and discovered the wonder that is the Garden burger. 

that time you and your boyfriend celebrated six months with going to get acai bowls and salads and then going to comedy - something that would become a frequent occurrence (nothing helps feeling down like going to comedy). 

Polish week, a week full of prepping for recruitment, strengthening your bond with Alpha Chi, getting to know all of your sisters better. Some complained about it, but you liked learning all of the songs and the mock conversations and house tours, and especially spending so much time with your sisters. Going to the Greek barbecue and leaving the prep behind feeling excited and ready and so happy to be Greek. 

All of the times you and the boyfriend went to Best Friends and the Humane Society, petting and falling in love with so many different cats, such a good destressor. 

all of the love and support you got in the hospital and at UNI. from family and Gano and Lauren. the people you got to know, like the nurse on the day you got transferred to UNI, how you could talk to her about politics and movies and everything. the people at UNI, the old vet who nicknamed you princess, the mom who was a kind presence, the girls you befriended, the addicts. they were all so nice. the walks around the courtyard every meal and fresh air break. the blueberry donuts and applejacks. the group therapy sessions. so helpful and healing. the daily visits from the boyfriend. the support after, from everyone you talked to who knew. 

the first tailgate you went to. beers and pong in the yard and shots by the stairs, everyone dressed in red for the Utes, the excitement for the game in the air, but everything so laidback at the same time. game day, game day, game day. 

that time you found out Rebekka your friend from high school joined your sorority, and feeling so loved by everyone there, and so incredibly grateful and proud to be a part of it. 

all of the philanthropy events, talking to new people, telling them about Domestic Violence Awareness, feeling like you were doing something good and seeing how other people wanted to help make a change too.

that time you went to Oktoberfest with the boyfriend, even though you were throwing up the whole time. You saw the beautiful mountain views and got to do a competition where you had to try and keep an egg from dropping between you and your bf’s foreheads. you didn’t last long. but it was so pretty, and so nice to finally be able to do something you’d wanted to for years. 

that time you went hiking with Sadie and Rachel and Chloe and Alyssa to Blood Lake. It started raining, but it was pretty and new, and what was meant for bonding time was indeed that, and it was so nice to feel like you had gained four new friends.

that time you went to Fifth Water Hot Springs with Gano and Mariah, another thing you’d wanted to do for ages. It was so pretty, and so intimidating but inspiring to be with such incredibly smart people. It was as relaxing as you had hoped it would be. 

that time you and Lauren babysat Anna’s kitten for a week. He was so energetic, but fun to play with and cuddle with.  

that time you and Dad went down to St. George for a few days. You made a bomb ass salad, went hiking and saw wild rabbits, and watched Indiana Jones movies. 

that time you went on the sisterhood retreat and you and Megan and Ashley wound up in Idaho before realizing you’d driven two hours past Bear Lake. When you got there, there were races, and then a thing where you had to cross to the line in the middle if something applied to you (like having a mental illness), and then another where half of the girls sat in a circle with their eyes closed and the other half went around tapping them whenever something applied, like “tap someone who inspires you”, “tap a sister who you could see as your bridesmaid”. then going off to the different cabins and doing more bonding activities, like confessions where people had to guess who said it, and dirty confessions. eating pizza and watching Sex and the City, and then stopping by the USU AXO house on the way back home the next day.

that time you and the bf went to Grady’s Halloween party and you had that insanely good apple whiskey. You were actually decent at rage cage and got to connect and reconnect with some lovely people, and it was nice to be able to go out with your boyfriend for once.

that time you went on a sisterhood to a farm, and went through the cornmaze, and petted the animals, and went on a tractor ride through the fields. after, getting vamped up, and going to a Halloween party at the infinity center that was so loud and flashy and fun.

that time you got a job writing for an online magazine.

that time you went to a wedding with your boyfriend and cried at how beautiful it was. you had dinner and danced and made s’mores and saw them off. It was so lovely.

fall formal, when you had a pregame at your house and the perfect amount of people came and it was lovely, and then you all walked over to Alpha Chi and rode the buses up to Snowbasin Resort. They had the best damn salad for dinner, and you took a million pictures and cuddles and danced and talked. After, you went to McDonald’s, and then back home to cuddle the night away.

that time you saw an advanced screening of Fantastic Beasts for free with your boyfriend and it was so good.

that time you and your boyfriend went to La Caille to see the lights and get hot chocolate and listened to Eminem all the way there and back.

the first time you used a bath bomb (the Starry Night one) and read Fire while listening to classical music and it was so calm and relaxing, and after you were so soft and sparkly.

that time you modeled for Maddy and her guy friend with Megha and Emily and Maddie at a park, and you realized how much you love being in front of the camera, and how fun photoshoots are. 

that time after you and your roommate had a fight and your boyfriend let you take refuge at his house for days. Letting you come to class with him, order pizza, go to a Bosnian restaurant, watch movies, and was such a comfort. 

that time you and your boyfriend went to the Yule Ball at a castle and learned how to waltz. You got pictures with the snake, gave the raven money, he played a virtual reality game, and you got to try butterbeer.

that time you and your boyfriend went to see the temple lights. 

all of the times with Bella, when she was so sweet and so good, even when you didn’t think she would be. Falling in love with her and this sport all over again, and appreciating how lucky you are to have her in your life. such a good horse. I love her so much.

that time your boyfriend took you to a luncheon at the Grand America, and came to pick you up from your parents’ house. After we cuddled, and then changed and went back up to your parents’ so that he could meet your dad and have a bbq. You took him to see Bella again, and she still liked him. Your parents liked him too.

that time on Christmas when you went hiking in knee-deep snow with your dad and brother. 

that time when you went to your first New Years party and had your first New Years kiss. you played Munchkin and drank at his house with his best friend, then went to the party and played pong and chilled, and then went home to go cuddle