#love being asked how the fuck I survived being in the hospital with baby veins

[apnourry]

it's important to me that yall know I went to get labs drawn and it took 2 phlebotomists, 7 sticks, and 7 baby butterfly needles to get MAYBE enough blood and then one of the ladies told me I have baby veins and she never wants to see me again because it stressed her out✌️

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.

Wordcount: 2.9k

Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm

Masterlist link here 

AO3 link here 

Author’s Note: And we’re at the final chapter! Thank you so much for going on this wild ride with me, and I’m rly excited to hear what you guys think - so please, drop me an ask, a note, a comment, anything!!! 

It takes time and effort to rebuild a home wrecked by a storm, and reconstruction efforts aren’t necessarily smooth sailing, especially at the start - after all, he’s still the same Miya Atsumu, arrogant and brash and foulmouthed and hyper focused on volleyball, and they both have baggage from years of regret and pain to work through. But he has determination to spare, and she loves him too much for her own good, so they start from the very foundation and work their way up, step by step, one day at a time. 

‘I’ll kill ya if ya ever hurt her again’, Osamu threatens darkly when she and Atsumu break the news to him. 

‘Go find yer own girl and stop being sweet on my wife damn it! ’ Atsumu growls, but the kiss he presses to her forehead when she smacks the back of his head for being mean to his twin is achingly sweet. 

‘Ugh, soppy. Get yer shit outta my house!’ Osamu scrunches his face in mock disgust. 

Both brothers are surprised when she beats Atsumu at flipping Osamu off. 

Atsumu moves back home (he’s not even going to hide how happy the sound of that makes him), and they mark the occasion by slipping his wedding ring back on his finger and eating take-out pizza on the living room floor. 

Her burly brothers turn up on their doorstep with a glint in their eyes and too much teeth in their smiles, determined to drag Atsumu off for a couple of drinks and what she assumes will be a very unpleasant chat. She’d insisted on patting them down to make sure they’re not packing any knives - ‘what do you take us for, little sis’, they’d protested - but she’s not taking any chances, and begs Osamu to join them, ‘please ‘Samu, I don’t want to be a widow right after I decide not to divorce his ass’, and he agrees despite grumbling that he might as well be Atsumu’s glorified babysitter at this rate. 

She’d woken up in bed the next morning to find the space beside her empty, but the living room crammed full of those four silly men. Atsumu and Osamu share a single futon between them, snoring back to back. There are faint bruises on Atsumu’s cheekbone and telltale scrapes on her own brothers’ knuckles, but otherwise they all seem relatively unscathed. 

She bends over, tracing her thumb along the contour of Atsumu’s jaw, and he stirs, eyes half lidded with sleep. 

‘Hey darlin', I’ve come home’, he tells her, warmth flickering in his smile. 

‘Welcome home, 'Tsumu’, she says, tucking the blanket under his chin and he hums in contentment, falling back asleep. 

His nightmares of brown envelopes and harsh neon lights distorting her face slowly fade, and he dreams instead of weeknight dinners and weekend picnics at the park, relishing the quiet domesticity of grocery trips and laundry loads, and delighting in home games with her and Shino cheering him on.

Some piss poor excuse of a gossip hound corners him after a match to ask him about whether he regrets leaving for Milan since his season ended in injury - and he freezes when the reporter slyly adds ‘especially since we all knew it’s a move that required you to leave your wife and daughter behind ‘. His manager is about to intervene when she sneaks up on him to slide an arm around his waist, apologising to the reporter that ‘she’s just so excited to give her husband a congratulatory kiss!’ . 

Sakusa and Meian have to join forces to pull Atsumu back from punching the reporter when he grins shark-like, thinking he’s spotted easy prey and asks her whether she felt abandoned in Japan due to his move - ‘pardon me Miya-san for my unwieldy choice of words’. 

‘Not at all’, she says without missing a beat, and Atsumu wonders if he imagines the flash of a knife in her smile. ‘I’ve always supported my husband in all his endeavours. It was a joint decision that I should stay in Japan to ensure our daughter has some stability in her life.'

‘She’s good’, his manager tells him when the reporter slinks away with his tail between his legs. 

‘Yeah - I don’t deserve her’, he answers with a rueful smile. 

When he tries to thank her that night, she levels him with a look that could knock a grown man (i.e. him) off his feet, but her voice is gentle and her words are soft. 

‘Don’t thank me’, she says. ‘Just be a better husband and father, ok?’ 

He’s not ashamed to admit that he actually cries. 

He learns to tell her he loves her at least once a day. She starts to smile back cheekily and reply ‘of course’. 

The game is in between sets when the skin at the back of his neck crackles with nerves. From the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of Osamu sprinting right into the stands. Then his ears pick up on his little girl’s scream - ‘mama’  she cries, her shrill voice ringing above the confusion rippling through the crowd and his legs move of their own accord, leaping over the barrier into the audience, as he snarls and shoves his way to her usual spot. 

He thought he’s had his fill of nightmares to last him a lifetime. He’s evidently wrong. 

She lies crumpled on the ground, head resting on Osamu’s lap. Her lips are pale and her eyes are closed but thank god - thank whichever deity’s listening - her chest still moves with her breath. He’s not quite sure what happens next - he knows he dives to his knees and pulls her towards him but everything else is a blur until her eyes flutter open and she groans. 

‘Darlin’, can ya hear me? Can ya tell me where you are?’ he asks, forcing his voice to remain calm. 

‘Tsumu? Why are you here? Aren’t you in the middle of a game?’ she murmurs, confused. 

‘Fuck the game’, he snaps. ‘Are ya feelin' ok?’ 

‘Something hurts, Tsumu’, she rasps, eyes glazing over. He can feel the chill of ice seep into his spine. 

'Yer fine, yer fine, yer going to be fine' he mutters, over and over and over again, willing her to sit up and tell him she's fine, she's ok, she'll just shake it off - but light starts to shutter out of her eyes and frost creeps up his throat. 

‘I need a medic!’ he shouts, voice cracking on every word. ‘I need a medic, now!’

‘Tsumu’, he hears his brother interrupt urgently. ‘Tsumu, she’s bleedin’. 

He’s never been more grateful for Osamu when his twin turns to yell for an ambulance and yanks Shino away with him. The little girl is kicking and screaming for her mama but he knows she would kill him if he lets their little girl be traumatised from seeing her mama lying in a pool of blood on the floor. 

He can’t breathe - not even when the medics finally come and whisk her off to the hospital, his mind hardly able to process anything, terror still coursing through his veins when the doctors press brown envelopes full of forms into his bloodstained hands for him to sign so the relevant procedures can be carried out. 

‘Don’t!’ Osamu says sharply, when he drops his head into his hands and starts to whimper about how he’ll die if he loses her again and what the fuck is he gonna do, ‘Samu, if she doesn’t make it out alive – ‘she’s stronger than ya think, don’t ya dare give up on her like that’, and he promptly shuts up after that. Time in the waiting room passes agonizingly slow, seconds feeling like minutes, minutes stretching into hours, and he would have drowned from the weight of his despair if he weren’t anchored in place by his twin’s hand on his back.

His breath rushes back into his lungs when the doctors later tell him she’s fine,  they carried out the standard operation - but she doesn’t look fine, doesn’t seem fine, is very clearly not fine when they wheel her out, huddled into a ball with her head between her knees, like her world has just collapsed into itself. She doesn’t even look up when he sits beside her, the bed dipping under his weight. 

‘I’m sorry’, she eventually says, voice barely a whisper, and he fights the urge to break down into tears – because ‘Samu’s right, she’s so much stronger than he thinks. They'd been talking about trying for a sibling for Shino for some time now, since they've both grown up with brothers of their own and can't imagine life without them. But the doctors tell him that it’s just bad luck - the baby was never going to survive, and her collapse was probably exacerbated by stress, overwork, perhaps even fatigue from her skipping lunch for work and dinner to rush to his match.

‘Don’t be. It’s not yer fault at all’, he manages to pull himself together to reassure her, but she just stares blankly at the wall. 

His grandmother calls when they find out the baby they lost would have been a boy, and he fails her again when he’s too late to snatch the phone away before the old lady’s poison drips into her ears and traps her in a deadly fog. He’d cursed the old bitch out relentlessly, but the toxic words fester beneath her skin and she fades into a ghost before his eyes. He desperately tries to stop her spiral into frozen silence, but he’s away for games more than half the time, hands tied behind his back by the stranglehold of contracts and commitments he has no choice but to fulfil. 

He’s never been so thankful before when the season finally ends - but he is, at least this time, so he can talk her into taking two weeks off from work. They drop Shino off with her indulgent grandparents, and drift down the coast on the back of her bike. She doesn’t try breaking any speed limits - and he knows he should be happy about that, but there’s no spark in her eyes, no smile to answer the wind - there hasn’t been, not since she collapsed. 

(not since they lost their child)

He buys her mochi at every town, but she picks at it listlessly, just like she does these days when Osamu tries to tempt her with his latest creations. He insists they stay at  ryokans, traditional inns with onsens attached, hoping the heat from the water might chase the chill from her bones, but colour does not return to her cheeks. There are shadows beneath her eyes, and she seems to wilt under the vibrant red and gold of autumn leaves. 

They go for a walk after dinner one night, tracing a path along the shore. He’d been talking non-stop the entire trip to mask the gaps left by her silence, but tonight he falls quiet, allowing the hum of the waves to wash over them. Her hand is cold in his, so he wraps his jacket around her shoulders and hopes the warmth from his body bleeds into hers. 

She comes to a standstill, feet sinking in the sand, and tilts her head to face him. 

‘Tsumu?’, she breathes, a question in her eyes. 

‘I’m here’, he says, a prayer in his heart. 

There is a lighthouse on the cliff just a few miles ahead, illuminating the shadows of the waves. The faintest reflection of light pools in her eyes, and he stills as she lifts her gaze to meet his. 

‘I know’, she says, offering him the smallest of smiles. 

He interlaces their fingers together firmly, and tugs her towards shelter, as a storm brews over the horizon. 

That night she tucks her head under his chin, and he holds her until she falls asleep, cradled in his arms. He keeps slumber at bay by counting her breaths, and only falls asleep himself when the storm breaks. 

'Why did I wake up to a blonde octopus wrapped around me', she mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. 

'Nah. More like a seahorse, cos I'm not letting ya go, sweetheart', he replies, tightening his grip on her waist. 'Ya got a problem with that?' 

Her only response is to burrow herself deeper into his chest.

'Guess not', he chuckles fondly, nuzzling his nose into her hair, hope blossoming anew in his heart. 

Time turns their wounds into scars and they heal together, one breath at a time. 

She stays away from their first few matches when the season begins again. The press is coerced into passing over reports of her collapse by the dual forces of the MSBY press machine and their legal team, but they are forced to ride out the gossip generated in internet forums by a fringe group of deranged fans. His teammates treat her like she’s made of glass - even Bokuto dials himself down a notch, all save for Shoyo, who slips her his mother’s number, telling her gently that the six year gap between him and Natsu wasn’t deliberate, and that she would find a sympathetic ear in the older woman. 

He knew he was right to anoint Shoyo as his favourite wing spiker - not only does he fly high enough to answer the demand of every single one of his sets, but his sunniness drags her out of the fog into yoga classes and meditation practices, and slowly but surely he watches her bloom again. It’s a powerful combination - Shoyo-kun’s friendship and his mother’s gentle conversations, Osamu’s cooking and her love for Shino, capped with his determination to show her he loves her and prove that he’s here to stay.

‘It’s like Kintsugi’, she tells him, with a wide smile. ‘All of you poured gold into the cracks of my heart and made me whole again’. 

The years pass. 

Shino turns seven – a very respectable age for his very best girl, he tells her (I'm your only girl, Papa, Shino informs him archly), and obliges her demands of a bicycle in MSBY colours and volleyball lessons, forcing all his teammates to turn up for her birthday party, volleyball themed of course. The look of unadulterated joy on his princess’ face is worth every ounce of effort to put up with Sakusa’s complaints at having to turn up for a kiddie party full of loud noises and far too much candy, and the sweaty afternoons spent hand painting the bicycle black and gold. 

The day Atsumu discovers his first white hair makes her thank her lucky stars that she’s immune to his nonsense by now, because the wailing and gnashing of teeth she has to put up with makes ‘Samu offer her his couch as refuge. She slaps tape and salonpas on his aches and pains, and points to the deepening lines on her face when he complains about his age. 

‘Those lines aren’t wrinkles. If they’re caused by laughter, it doesn’t count’, he reasons laughingly. She’s left befuddled by his logic and shakes her head.

Meian Shugo retires, and Hinata throws a party to celebrate in his honour, cramming the entire MSBY team and assorted friends into his penthouse apartment on a rainy Saturday night. Osamu’s hired to cater the food but remains as a guest, shooting a smirk at him when Shoyo drags her off to dance during his favourite song, twin flames burning bright in the night. 

‘A hundred yen for your thoughts?’ she asks, when Shoyo returns with her breathless but wreathed with smiles. 

‘Was just wondering when you were gonna save a dance for this old man’, he teases. 

‘Oh?’ she says with a laugh. ‘Thought you said your back hurt, and you didn’t want to move?’

‘Meh - I was hoping you’d forget that’, he says airily, then frowns when he notices there’s no drink in her hand. 

‘Not drinking tonight, sweetheart?’, he asks, curling his fingers around her empty hand. 

‘The doctor warned me not too’, she answers, her smile growing impossibly wider. He blinks in confusion when she leans on to her toes to whisper into his ear - then oh. 

‘You’re pregnant?’ he repeats, unable to trust his ears, eyes filling with tears when she bites her lips and nods. 

‘Are you happy, ‘Tsumu?’, she asks, her face alight with hope. 

There is so much he wants to say to her, starting with thank you loving me enough to give me another chance all those years ago and ending with I love you, so ridiculously much – because he can never say it enough, she’s given him more than he deserves – her heart, Shino, a happy home and now the promise of another child. 

But there's salt and water welling up in his throat, and it’s all he can do to choke out a shaky ‘of course’, before gathering her in his arms, warmth pooling in his eyes, love overflowing in his heart. 

They stay that way for most of the night, entwined in each other’s arms, so drunk on happiness and love and warmth that they don’t even notice the storm clearing and the moon rising in the clear night sky. 

[shuttershocky]

"Deathless Black Snake...Are you afraid?" - In which we see why Terra's greatest champion wanted to crush a fourteen year old's skull. Unholy fuck.

What I've always loved about Amiya is that Arknights never leaned too hard on either babby or Kid-in-bio-only hypercompetent adult typing. While I'm very soft on small and cute baby characters (and conversely not a fan of characters being aged 14 but looking and acting like they're 28), Amiya being an actual leader with a startling amount of emotional intelligence while also still being a literal child is what makes the her narrative so effective.

Of course she's professional, of course she's actually able to manage a company and even lead a squad through a warzone, her superpower is literally empathy. Communication and understanding is her forte. She's able to think beyond just herself in a way no normal teenager can because her mind is constantly receiving information about people's feelings, and sometimes even their memories. She can negotiate with politicians, manage a company with hundreds of employees, and even lead squads of soldiers against an enemy—all because she is able to discern what the other party wants, how they would react to various emotional stimuli, and how much they are willing to compromise. With ceaseless social and leadership training from Kal'tsit, it was practically impossible for Amiya NOT to be the best of the best at her job.

At the same time though, every other scene is a reminder that she's too young to have even hit her growth spurt. She's shorter than most of the cast, small enough that Blaze sometimes picks her up and throws her into the air like a parent with a baby. She hates being treated like a child instead of an adult, yet she drops her sophisticated airs and diction and talks like a little kid when it's just her with the Doctor and Kal'tsit. She even has trouble dropping formal honorifics when asked to simply because everyone's older than her and she does it on instinct.

That's why when the story contrasts her idealism with the shocking reveals of who she is, who she represents, it never feels jarring. We always see her juggling both her professional self with her child self, so when we see her childlike optimism—her belief in a better world where everyone can understand each other as well as she can understand them—be pit against her identity as the Lord of Fiends—king of an oppressed and bitter people, prophesied to finally unleash their vengeance upon the world—it works narratively. I'm not left feeling like there's a wild tonal shift or that they don't know what they want to do with Amiya. I know exactly what they want to do: create some good ol' tragedy by heaping the world on to a little girl that you know can handle it, but really, really shouldn't have to.

I love this scene because as much of a big hero moment it is to confront a godlike evil and create a sword made from magic, this isn't right. Neither Kal'tsit nor Doctor are there, and while Amiya synchronizes with Ch'en in order to copy her sword and techniques, she still has to channel a specific emotion in order to complete the process. What she decides to use in the end is grief.

Her mind flashes through several memories, before retrieving the memories of a Sarkaz warrior from long ago, raging at the injustice and oppression his people suffered for no reason other than being born Sarkaz. The warrior howls and curses at the world, but it isn't hatred coursing through his veins; grief is. Agonizing, maddening grief. The Sarkaz warrior then takes up their sword, (which is the part of the memory that likely allows Amiya to form Ch'en's Chi Xiao in her mind), then strikes down all the oathbreakers who had destroyed the peace. Then, the Sarkaz Warrior kills himself, and Amiya creates the sword from rage, finally showing what Kal'tsit meant when she said "Amiya experiences an unbelievable amount of trauma, far too much for a single person to bear."

That's fucking horrifying.

At the very start of Chapter 8, Amiya is offended by an operator calling Rosmontis "Rhodes Island's greatest weapon", because weapons are just tools made for the sole purpose of hurting others. They cannot think for themselves, they cannot be made to understand others, they cannot feel the pain that comes with hurting someone else. Amiya tells Kal'tsit "I am not a weapon", because no matter how dangerous her powers may be, she is not a tool to hurt someone. She will never act with the intention of hurting anyone. She is the leader of a mobile hospital, and that person should never have the mentality that their being is a weapon.

Some distance away however, Kal'tsit has this conversation with the Doctor. "No matter the motive, what we are doing is doing harm." You can't avoid hurting someone during conflict. You can't be a neutral party in a time of war.

Amiya knows this. She's fought before. She's killed before. But nothing really makes it hit home quite like seeing how she uses her powers.

Yes, it's an Emiya moment. Confronting an undying being that caused so much suffering and survives through the hatred of all peoples, Amiya reaches into her own rage and pulls out a sword. No one is there to help her but the woman she's synchronizing with. You cannot ask for a better time to become a hero of justice.

It's also a great tragedy.

She is a child. She is an idealist. She is a negotiator. She believes that people can be made to understand each other, that violence can become a thing of the past.

She is not a weapon.

But a sword only does one thing.

[everlarkficexchange]

the song of my heart (plays in you)

Written by: @thelettersfromnoone

Prompt 108: Everlark fall for one another over a blood transfusion. It happens not once, but twice. His blood runs through her veins, and now hers runs through his. What are the odds they would save each other’s lives? [submitted by @mandelion82]

Rated: Teen and up; mentions of: car wrecks, physical and mental trauma, amputation.

Tags: One-shot, Soulmates, Time Jump(s), Blood-Oaths.

Word count: 2342.

Notes: Unbetaed. All mistakes are my own. Thanks to @javistg and @xerxia31 for being amazing hosts for this exchange ❤️

“The blood [of the covenant] is thicker than [the] water [of the womb].”

“Mama, tell the story again?” Grey eyes peek up shyly through dark eyelashes, fingers curling the folds of her mother’s nightgown. “ ‘bout the dream-people?”

“It’s late, darlin’,” Mama murmurs with a soft smile. She presses a kiss to her daughter’s brow. “Papa will tell the long version tomorrow, hm?”

The girl’s lower lip pops out in a pout- papa is the better storyteller, but she wants to hear the story tonight. She snuggles against her mama’s belly, whispering a ‘night-night’ to the baby they say is growing in there.

“There once was a boy who was called to war, to fight for a king in a land far from home. Though he survived many times in battle, one day, an enemy struck him, and he was hurt, something terrible. At death’s door, his friends brought him to a healer’s house, who saved his life. As he recovered, he grew to love the healer’s daughter, and she grew to love him. In time, when he was recovered, his king came calling on him again. Before he left, the boy and the healer’s daughter made a blood-oath. They drew their own blood, and held their wounds against one another. They vowed that, from that moment until they met again, the song of their blood would call out for one another, no matter how far.”

Her little hand reaches over to mama’s, pressing their palms flush. “Like this?”

“Mhm,” Mama interlaces their fingers, kissing her daughter’s knuckles. “Just like this. Every night, while he was away, all they needed to do was close their eyes, and they could feel one another’s feelings, and see through one another’s eyes.”

“Till forever?” The little girl’s eyes are growing heavy, a yawn coming in spite of her best efforts. “Mama, it’s til’ forever, right?”

Mama doesn’t answer straight away. When she does, it’s soft as a butterfly’s flight; “Till forever, until they found each other again.”

The little girl’s breathing evens out, eyes slipping shut. 

(She’s always wanting a happy ending.)

She’s twelve and using the computer unsupervised the first time she looks it up on a whim. She is meant to be researching poetry, but that quickly becomes dull. 

Instead, the rabbit hole of the web sucks her in.

According to the internet page that comes up, a Blood-Oath Soulmate is defined as a myth, steeped in legend: a couple who, when faced with separation, make a blood-oath that allows them to see, hear, and feel one another across the thousands of miles. 

The origin, exactly, is unclear. It’s a myth with several cultural variants- in her own region, Twelve, and in the northern regions of Åtta, Tio, and Tretton, the war is won, and the boy returns to the healer’s daughter. By contrast, in the southwest, they say the boy earned a glorious warrior’s death, and the girl grieves but honors his memory. In almost all the other regions, the myth is drawn out, many side-adventures and evils hinder the boy’s path home, and by the time the boy finds his way back to his love, amidst a continent of misery, they both are old and grey. It’s not clear where the myth started, some say it’s a retelling of an old Sumerian tale; others, that it comes from Viking oral lore. Some, still, argue that they all are true, that the same fate spreads itself throughout time, throughout the world, in different ways. 

All modern experts, essentially, concur on the matter of the story’s implausibility. The human body replenishes its blood count within weeks, one discussion board points out.

It was just a myth to make humans feel their love could be impermeable, or withstand the tests of distance and challenges, claims another. Or, one user with a profane avatar states, the modern meaning is just guess-work and the cultural context and any kernels of truth will forever be lost.

And everyone knows there’s no such thing as a soulmate.

Kat feels her stomach clench as she quickly exits the browser, lonely in the wake of her father’s death, and her mother’s subsequent depressive episode, and still clinging to her mother’s hushed telling of a love that is palpable down to the bone.

(She can’t decide if knowing it’s ‘just a story’ hurts or helps more. The veneer of childhood is always treasured for a reason.)

She is seventeen when it happens. 

A flash of a medical room. Harsh fluorescent lights. Thick, strong hands trying to block the light out. Starched sheets, scratching skin. A pinch of a needle and stifled shout- 

She wakes covered in sweat. 

Something is wrong, niggles at the back of her mind. Her pounding heart beats out wrong, wrong, wrong. She pushes it away, presses the thought down. She manages to lull herself back to sleep, a deep, imageless thing, but the wrongness sticks with her. 

The next night is nearly identical, except the stranger’s hands are tearing off the bedsheets. A stump of a knee rests where a leg should extend. A panicking voice, a nurse, shouts for help as the struggling and screaming begins-

“Where’s my fucking leg?!”

Kat wakes with a jolt, strangled gasps as she pushes her own blankets off, hands grasping at her limbs, the phantom terror and horror bringing bile up her throat. 

What was that?

A dreamless sleep doesn’t find her again, her eyes bruising with nights of nightmares and days of exhaustion. The hospital, the scratchy sheets, the nurses and medications and injections. 

One week, then another.

She’s in Civics class when it occurs to her. 

The blood drive, at the beginning of May. She’d turned seventeen, and finally weighed enough to donate blood.

Could it be…?

She sleeps in, one Saturday morning, when they are fitting a prosthetic on her stranger; crutches and halting steps as those beefy hands grip support bars.

“Just a step further,” a voice encourages. 

Shame and frustration, and a deep, croaking voice lashes out of the throat-

“I can’t!”

You can, you can, you can, she tries to will the stranger her confidence.

The figure stills, and for a moment, she thinks they can hear her. 

“I’m done,” they say, and in spite of the disappointment on the nurse’s face, a man in a white lab coat agrees, and helps them back into a wheelchair.

Kat feels the sinking failure, the desperate yearning to help this person, this stranger. There are only nurses and doctors, in her dreams. She knows what it means to be lonely, even when there are people around; what it means when you wake up in emotional pain, but have no one to share it with.

She wants to tell her stranger it will all be all right, but the weeks pass and she can only confide her secret to herself. They wouldn’t believe her, even if she could say it in person.

Where is your family? she tries to ask.

They never seem to hear her.

(Waking becomes harder, but she can’t confide in anyone that she wakes wishing she could live in her dreams without them thinking she’s gone mad.)

They are kneading dough, seated at a wood table in a cluttered kitchen. The prosthetic is fitting to the leg, tender today but not sore, exactly. She can smell the flour and feel the silky-smooth texture between her fingers. Smoothe jazz music is playing, from a radio over on the counter. She feels a hand squeezing her stranger’s shoulder.

“Looks good, Pete.” It’s a gruff voice, but not unkind.

“Needs to rise,” her stranger- ‘Pete’!- retorts. They don’t look up, but she can feel a flush on her ‘Pete’s’ cheeks.

“We got some coursework from the school, then.”

(She doesn’t realize this is the last she will dream of her stranger.)

The dreams evaporate, after eight weeks, as abruptly as they had begun.

In the aftermath of her first dreamless night in over a month, she wakes to the dawn breaking with no images from her stranger. 

‘Pete’. 

She tries to will herself back to sleep, compel visions back from the brink. It’s the first night she thinks to try and remember the names of the doctors and nurses, or the location of the hospital. The nametags are foggy in her memories, a nurse Jackie or Jenny and a last name they had abbreviated to, ‘A.’ 

The internet doesn’t help her any more than her own mind can. ‘An amputee named ‘Pete’ who likes to knead dough and is doing high school coursework at home’ doesn’t do much in a White Pages search. 

She writes it all down, then, each snippet and sound she can recall. She keeps the journal under her mattress, knowing her mother won’t bother, and her baby sister wouldn’t dare to look. 

Like a madwoman, she rereads her own accounts, adds notes to it every morning, hoping the dreams will start again. But every morning, the dreams seem more as if they were fantasies, and her journal reads like fiction.

A year passes. 

Her dreams now are either blank, or memories of ‘Pete’.

She could blame it on her family friend, and his stupid insistance that she attend Prom; or maybe the girlfriends she eats lunch with, who guilt her by saying that everyone needs a life outside of school, and after-school jobs.

Kat had only driven into town because she needed a damn dress. Two weeks later, and she would have been exhausted from Prom as she crossed the school stage, collecting her high school diploma.

Nothing pans out the way she imagines it will, though.

She’s alone in the car when a truck in the oncoming lane overturns at a curve in the road.

Pain bursts on her head. Flames against her skin. Crushed metal, and broken glass. In the distant fog of wailing sirens, she can hear first responders attempting to call out to her. 

The only thing she remembers seeing clearly, between the accident and the hospital, is smoke rising into a blue, cloudless sky, through a shattered windshield.

“You lost a lot of blood, Kat,” the doctor says, tone not unsympathetic. “We had to do a transfusion.”

“Oh.”

She blinks, a haze of morphling in her preventing her from fully comprehending. Some broken bones. A neck brace. Burns on her face and arms, but not as bad as they first had thought- she won’t need skin grafts.

All small mercies.

Her sister and mama are there, balloons and flowers and hugs a-plenty. Get-well-soon cards from several classmates and family friends.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” her mama murmurs, as the doctor leaves.

“Okay.”

Mama runs her fingers through Kat’s knotted hair, while her sister clings and tells her how much she loves her.

She’s not numb, not beneath the morphling. But she’s so damn tired and her skin itches under the bandages. 

(She can’t comfort her family while they try their hand at comforting her.)

She is washing her hands in the hospital room sink, when she feels a jolt, a compulsion; a chill down her spine and gooseflesh down her arms. She looks in the mirror, and feels in awe, feels a foreign elation. A burst of affection, a warmth. 

She can’t reckon with it, can’t justify it. 

It’s just… her own face. Sloppily braided dark hair. Healing stitches on her cheek, and forehead. Silver eyes, surrounded by a bruise, set in a narrow face. She gulps, leaning in closer, and trying to grasp the sensation. Out-of-body, might be the right term- dissociative, she’d read about once, for Health and Wellness. 

There’s a knock on her door, the nurse doing a check, and as Kat turns, the warmth dissipates.

The nurse comes in not long after, checks her vitals and asks a series of questions.

“My name is Katniss Everdeen.”

That warmth in her chest is back, the hair at the base of her neck stands straight.

She scrubs her hands over her face, focusing on the simple questions the nurse is asking.

“I’m eighteen years old. I’m graduating from PPH12 in Sommen in one week. I’m at Merchant Memorial Hospital.”

In the bathroom that night, she stares at her own reflection, and wonders if maybe that feeling of someone looking over her shoulder- more like looking through her eyes- if maybe….

She fogs up the mirror, and writes her room number. She stares at it, for a time, before scoffing at own ridiculousness, and wiping it away with her towel.

She only has one day left before being discharged, though she’ll miss graduation and the parties that would entail. She can’t say she is particularly disappointed; she’s never been a party person.

She’s awake when the door to her shared hospital room opens. She pays it little mind. The curtain around her bed is pulled taught, her roommate jabbering away on their phone about the food service as if this were fine dining, rather than a hospital. Kat is reading a get well card, this one signed by the whole senior class and class advisors.

There’s a thrumming in her veins, but that might be them weaning her off of the morphling.

Curtain rings scrape against metal, and she barely glances up, the nurse rounds due any minute now. Normally, though, the bubbly nurse who does the day-shift is already bustling with an overwhelming enthusiasm that makes Kat question how exhausted the nurse is at the end of the day.

Maybe it’s a different nurse or a doctor or mama, or- 

The blue eyes that are boring into hers are ones she has only seen in her dreams; she can finally see blonde curls framing them, familiar thick, strong hands brushing through the curls. 

“Pete?” she croaks, certain she’s finally lost her damn mind.

His eyes widen at the sound of his name, lips parting. 

“I found you.” 

A tone of surprise, as if he’d driven all this way, but in expectation of disappointment.

“Peeta,” he introduces himself, edging closer. His hand carefully takes hold of her own. “And… I’ve waited a long time to meet you, Katniss.”

(Her name has never been spoken as sweetly, and her heart has never felt so full.)

[ahgaseda]

enough | six

even if everyone else leaves me, you’re enough for me, you’re my only one, stand by me forever, only you, just you...

summary : to survive as a single woman in the big city, you resort to letting rich men pay for your company, but never anticipated that your first client would be the boy you once loved, Jinyoung.

warnings : strong profanity, explicit dialogue, references to prostitution, mentions of gang activity, graphic sexual content, potentially triggering elements involving mental health, panic attacks, etc.

miniseries chapters : one / two / three / four / five / six / seven

It wasn’t until you stepped inside your condo that your heart began to calm. Arguing with Jinyoung still excited you like hell, made something reckless rush through your veins. The two of you were just as hot-headed and stubborn as ever.

Sometimes, you were desperate to get a reaction out of him. No matter how big or small. Especially when he was guarded, which was almost always. It was then you realized that regardless of how many years had passed, you and Jinyoung were still the same two kids wildly and hopelessly in love with each other.

It didn’t matter what was said and done, there would always be the push and pull. You would always find your way back to each other. Your fates were intertwined, destined to tangle despite the distance between you. In a way, you and Jinyoung were doomed to be stuck with each other forever.

With a shake of your head, you chuckled quietly to yourself. Less than an hour had passed and you already missed him. It was pathetic and deeply wounded your pride.

Striding toward the bedroom, you stopped in your tracks when Jackson proceeded to make himself comfortable on the living room sofa.

Brows stitching, you asked confusedly, “Um, what are you doing?”

Jackson glanced at you and flashed that grin of his, replying coolly, “Oh, Jinyoung asked me to spend the night.”

You rolled your eyes and retorted, “Why? To make sure I don’t fuck anyone?”

“Of course not,” Jackson scoffed. “Don’t be a brat.”

You snorted. Under the circumstances, only Jackson could get away with calling you that. Then, a dark thought crossed your mind and you asked, “Am I in some kind of danger?”

“Absolutely not,” Jackson said, like a seasoned politician. It technically wasn’t a lie, he reasoned. You were perfectly safe with him in the next room.

“Okay,” you sighed, knowing neither Jackson or Jinyoung would ever readily admit anything of that nature to you.

In the penthouse, Jinyoung sat pensively by the fireplace, a glass of hard liquor in his hand. He rattled the ice cubes before taking another swig.

Relentless and systematic, he had been undermining Jiwon. Turning his allies against him. Alerting his enemies to his moves. Jinyoung knew how to deal with potential threats, but that did nothing for the fact you were now in the line of fire.

Jiwon’s tactics had reminded Jinyoung why he stayed away for as long as he did, why he made sure to never link the two of you together. Until you forced his hand. It was a dangerous business, his line of work. And there was a reason why men in his position never kept lovers more than one night.

Jinyoung rubbed his forehead where a throb and ache were festering; a side-effect of thinking too damn long and hard.

He couldn’t protect you every minute of every day. You had a life to lead, a dream you had been working toward for as long as he had known and loved you. It wasn’t fair for him to control your every move, to make you live in a constant state of fear that at any moment someone could try to take you away just to punish him.

“I have to get out,” Jinyoung whispered to himself, running a hand down his face. For a long time, Jinyoung had been drunk on the power his status gave him. For once in his life, he had control in the hellfires that surrounded him.

But he wasn’t fireproof.

He could let it all go for you, couldn’t he? He wouldn’t think twice when it came to starting over for your sake. At this point, Jinyoung was ready to give up everything just for the chance to wake up next to you each and every morning.

The wheels were turning in his head. He mapped all the ties in his mind - the ones he would have to sever. Nothing could keep him tethered to this life. He would have to start from nothing.

When the phone rang and jolted him from his reverie, Jinyoung glared at the thing in annoyance, softening only when he saw your name and photo on the screen.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked gruffly.

You frowned and wished you could stare daggers into his face. “Well, hello to you, too,” you smarted back.

Jinyoung felt his lip twitch with amusement at your tone and said, “I can’t talk long.”

You were agitated by his dismissal of you, which could only mean he was in deep thought and not to be disturbed, but you would be damned if you let Park Jinyoung tell you what to do.

Getting comfortable in bed, you pulled the blanket up to your chest and huffed, “Fine. I’ll keep this short. Do you think we will ever be able to move past any of this?”

Jinyoung chortled. “I’m an insufferable grudge holder.”

It went without saying you knew that better than anyone. “And I run from my problems.”

Jinyoung’s wrath flickered and he snapped, “I was a problem?”

You flinched, playful smile vanishing from your face as emotion bubbled in your chest, and quickly stammered, “That’s not what I meant…”

“I know,” he interjected, heaving a sigh. Jinyong realized one of these days he would have to let that go, but for now, it continued to burn a massive, gaping hole inside of him.

You felt small, like a child begging for forgiveness after running away from home with her head hung low. “You weren’t what I was running from,” you countered softly.

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” said Jinyoung. But I wish you would.

“Jinyoung, you saw me,” you replied, as if reading his mind. “Everyday I had to look you in the eyes and see how fucking terrified you were when you looked at me.”

Jinyoung remembered that, though he tried desperately not to. There were countless nights he tried to drown the image of you out of his mind, withering away before his very eyes. “We were in it together,” he whispered, hurt.

He wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t right either. Yes, Jinyoung was always by your side, but he didn’t know the battles raging inside of you. He would never know the agony you felt. “I was the only one in that car,” you spoke firmly.

Jinyoung moved the phone from his mouth, stifling his rage. He would never forget the day he almost lost you forever, but even though you were back safe in his arms, he saw the light had faded from your eyes. The girl he knew and loved had left him.

At his silence, you were finally given the chance to say your peace. “I became defined by my trauma. I was dying inside little by little every day. I was losing who I was. The girl you fell in love with was fading away until I was just this shell of a person I used to be.”

Jinyoung swallowed the lump in his throat. “You had to get out.”

You nodded, though he couldn’t see. “I did.”

“I respect you for saving yourself, but I resented you for not saving me, too,” Jinyoung confessed, his voice nearly breaking.

Tears welled in his eyes. The hurt was festering inside him again. He relived the day you left him over and over until it was branded permanently across his memory. He waited for the pain to dull, to fade, but time never healed that wound.

“I wanted to,” you murmured, a tear escaping down your cheek. “When I came here I had a plan. I would work my ass off by night and go to school by day. I wanted to make a life for us and I wanted to be the girl I always dreamed of being.”

Jinyoung straightened his shoulders and buried his emotions as he always did. He couldn’t dwell on them. The more he did, the more the hole in his chest deepened. It threatened to rip him at the seams. “So, we went different ways toward the same goal.”

Your first instinct was to argue, but you mulled. “I guess we did.”

“You weren’t the only one who changed,” Jinyoung spoke in a low tone, rising from his chair to top off his glass. “If you were defined by your trauma, then I was defined by my anger. I let it put me on paths I would have never gone otherwise.”

You often thought of Jinyoung after you left. Did he tear the house to pieces? Did he scream and cry until his lungs gave out? You imagined he burned every picture that ever existed of you and him together.

“Jinyoung, I wanted to take you with me,” you started, biting your lip.

He swallowed down the liquor, gritting his teeth at the familiar burn down his throat, and continued, “I know, but I joined the gangs. That’s not your fault.”

“You did it because of me,” you insisted. “Because of what happened to me.”

Jinyoung paused. The image of you in the hospital - bloodied and bruised - had broken the last of the goodness in him. Jinyoung had danced with the darkness, flirted with the danger, but you leaving him on that driveway was the breaking point; the moment the dance ended and he let the darkness consume him.

“I had always known I would die for you if I had to,” Jinyoung finally said. “When I realized I was willing to kill for you, it changed me.”

“I regret it,” you whispered, face tensing with more tears. “I regret leaving you.”

“Don’t,” Jinyoung replied levelly, though he wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms. “We are who we are because of the choices we made. Like it or not, we are all defined by the bad shit that happened in our lives.”

You sighed loudly, rubbing at your tears with a fist. “You’re right.”

He laughed in surprise and joked, “Someone get that on tape.”

You chuckled, relieved to feel the humor cutting through the tension. After a short pause, you told him, “Goodnight, Jinyoung. I love you.”

“Sleep well, baby,” he said, taking another gulp. “I love you, too.”

You hung up the phone and curled back into bed. The weight of his words kept you awake, haunted by the depths of their meaning and their consequences.

When I realized I was willing to kill for you, it changed me...

You swallowed, imagining Jinyoung’s hands dripping with blood as they came to settle around your throat. But you didn’t cry out in fear, you moaned in pleasure.

Shaking the imagery from your mind, you eventually drifted to restless sleep.

The next morning, you woke to your phone ringing. Heart thudding at the prospect of talking to Jinyoung again, all things considered, you roused yourself and grabbed your phone from the nightstand. Excitement quickly dissipated when you saw the caller.

“Hey, Hoseok,” you answered sleepily. “How are you?”

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he replied, apologetic. “I was calling to ask you that.”

You rose from the bed, stepping toward the window to see what weather to expect for the day ahead. “I’m okay. What can I do for you?”

Hoseok shuffled on the other line and he couldn’t find his voice for a moment, but finally said, “This is really inappropriate of me, but would you like to meet for lunch?”

“Sure,” you responded, brow furrowing. “Why would that be inappropriate?”

“Since we don’t work together anymore.”

You rolled your eyes at his concern and replied, “I still consider you a friend, Hoseok.”

Hoseok was relieved to hear that, but it only worsened his guilt. “I want to apologize and make things right with you. Is that okay?”

The awkwardness from the night before was still clearly present, but it did nothing to undermine the past four years of having Hoseok as a faithful friend and protector. You tried to put him at ease as best you could. “You don’t need to do either. We’re fine. But I’m not opposed to grabbing a bite to eat with you, for old times’ sake.”

“Alright,” Hoseok said, and you could practically hear his smile. “See you at the usual.”

“See you there.”

You hung up and looked at your phone for a moment. Jinyoung had accused Hoseok of having some kind of feelings toward you. Hoseok didn’t deny it, but he didn’t really say anything either. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hoseok had done nothing but be good to you since the day you met him.

Stepping out of the bedroom whilst fastening your earring, Jackson glanced up and asked, “Well, where are you going all dolled up?”

The pleated skirt stopped just above your knees and the sheer white blouse was loose-fitting over your black tank top. It was supposed to be a beautiful day and you dressed accordingly.

“I’m going to lunch with Hoseok,” you told him nonchalantly.

Jackson’s countenance changed on a dime. It was the first time he used a heavy tone with you. “Is that wise?”

Preempting an argument, you countered patiently, “Jacks, listen. He was there for me when I had nothing and no one. Besides, he’s a bodyguard. He won’t let anything happen to me.”

Jackson’s gaze was stern, you almost faltered, but with a sigh, he relented, “I will be right outside the entire time. Non-negotiable.”

“Fine,” you said with a short nod, thanking him for his understanding.

Meanwhile, Yugyeom was thrilled to have something to do. He opened the back door to the Range Rover for you, whistling at your dressed up self. You waved him away with a grin and hopped inside.

Given it was still quite early in the day, the small restaurant was almost empty. You stepped inside, spotting Hoseok at one of the tables. He stood and greeted you warmly, waiting for you to sit before he returned to his seat.

“I hope I didn’t get you into any trouble with the boss,” you spoke quietly.

“Not at all,” Hoseok replied, waving away your worry. “Business as usual today. Some of the girls have been asking about you.”

Your heart clenched a little at that. You were grateful for the friends you made at the agency, but by the nature of the business, no one bonded too closely. “I miss them already.”

Hoseok shifted in his seat and began, “I, uh, asked you here for a reason.”

You assumed to clear the air, but something about his visible discomfort put you on edge. “Let’s hear it,” you said as the waiter set a glass of water before you.

Hoseok paused until the server was out of earshot to say, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

His eyes were heavy as they bore into yours and he spoke under his breath, “For what I’m about to do.”

Your brows stitched.

Hoseok withdrew a folder from behind him and placed it on the table before you. “You know nothing about Jinyoung.”

Your heart sank, but a wave of rage surmounted your disappointment. After a pause, you murmured softly, “I’m the only one that knows him.”

“You know the old him,” Hoseok told you with a shake of his head and proceeded to pull a photo from the file.

At the tiniest glimpse of blood, you slammed your hands down over his, eyes fixated to his face. You didn’t know you were capable of the level of anger surging through your body and your voice came out a low growl, “Hoseok, I’m warning you.”

Hoseok hesitated. You were seething before him, gripping his hands and keeping them on the counter, blocking the image from view. Slipping from your grasp and placing a hand over yours tenderly, he warned, “I don’t want you to get into bed with a man like that.”

You bristled and snapped, “Hoseok, I’m not naive. I know everyone likes to think I’m the little girl that’s just a plaything for a powerful man. Every girl in the agency gets into bed with bad men, worse men. The only difference is your feelings for me.”

Hoseok blinked.

Fear crept up your spine. Emotion gripped your throat tight. Lips trembling, you thought, Please don’t show me the monster I created.

Hoseok lowered his head, sighing loudly. Without another word, he pulled the photo from beneath your hands and tucked it back inside the folder.

Seeing him back down, you asked, “You know who told Seokjin about me and Jinyoung?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“An interested party,” came a voice behind you.

As you turned, the man sitting blithely at the table behind yours had moved to your side. He spoke your name in greeting, a sinister smile plastered to his face, and said, “I’m Jiwon, a former employee of Jinyoung’s.”

“Disgruntled, it would seem,” you deadpanned.

“Why don’t you hand me that phone?” he sneered, glancing down at your lap and holding out his hand.

Your phone had been in your right hand, concealed beneath the table, and you were attempting to text without looking, hoping to get a message off to Yugyeom or Jackson or even Jinyoung, for all you cared.

Shifting your gaze to Hoseok, you noticed the shame on his face before he hung his head.

“No, I think I’ll hang onto it,” you replied, hiding your phone behind your back.

Jiwon exhaled loudly for dramatic effect as he sidled into the seat next to you, pulling a switchblade from his pocket. The bite of metal was suddenly cold against your waist, even through the fabric of your shirt.

You looked down at the blade and swallowed the lump in your throat. It all made sense now. Jackson staying over. Being hesitant to let you go to lunch. You were in danger. And now Jackson was right outside, but had no idea you were at a stranger’s mercy.

Bringing your gaze back to his face, you asked, “Are you going to stab me in the middle of a restaurant, Jiwon?”

Jiwon leaned in and whispered in your ear, “Believe me when I say I’ve done much, much worse.”

You believed him. Trapped between him and the wall, there was nowhere for you to run, no way to escape. With a frown, you handed him the phone without further resistance.

“What do you want?”

Jiwon slipped your phone into his back pocket and sang, “I want to open your pretty little eyes. Help you see the light where Jinyoung is concerned.”

You tried to stay calm, appearing unaffected. Instead, you feigned annoyance. “If you have a problem, take it up with him. I’m just his toy.”

“Nah, sweetheart,” he crooned, stroking a finger over your cheek. “You’re his baby.”

Everything about this man repulsed you and you tried to lean away, but the switchblade followed, staying pressed to your side. “Then, you know you should leave me alone,” you warned.

Jiwon took your threat in stride and said, “He started off small after you left him. Guns, drugs, women. Easy to imagine Jinyoung as a pimp, isn’t it?”

Your eyes burned.

“With patience and dedication, he ascended the ranks. Made a name for himself. He’s ruthless and rightly feared in the underground.”

You knew you were on the verge of tears, but above everything else, you couldn’t risk crying in front of this man. “Stop,” you choked out.

“Don’t you wanna know where all the money comes from? How he’s able to spoil his baby girl like he does,” Jiwon taunted, spinning a lock of your hair around his finger as he toyed with you. “Rich and powerful people have problems that can’t be seen or they will lose everything. Jinyoung is the one they call to fix those problems.”

“You’re lying.” You were adamant, but anyone could tell you believed him. You knew he was telling the truth.

“Am I?” Jiwon questioned, motioning to the table. “Look at the file. I got it for you. That’s a government official file. Everything they have on him.”

You looked at the manila folder before you and the next words out of your mouth surprised even you, “I don’t care. Whatever’s he done… I still love him.”

Jiwon cocked a brow. “Anything?”

“I can’t stop loving him,” you muttered in defeat. “I tried.”

Jiwon sighed yet again. “Oh, baby girl. If I can’t turn you against him, then I have no choice but to take you away from him.”

“Jiwon,” Hoseok warned. That clearly wasn’t part of the deal when he gave his cooperation.

“You’re done,” Jiwon shot back with a pointed finger.

Your eyes widened as Jiwon tugged harshly on your arm and you exclaimed, “Hoseok, you would rather I be dead than with Jinyoung?”

Jiwon pressed the blade to your side, glancing around. “Get up and walk. Don’t make a scene.”

A phone rang in the background. The owner of the restaurant answered and not a moment later, he began yelling to close down the shop.

“Shit, he’s on to me,” Jiwon cursed, leaping to his feet and hoisting you up violently. “Let’s go, baby bird.”

You struggled - it was your body’s natural instinct - and yelled, “If you’re just gonna kill me anyway, I won’t make it easier for you.”

Jiwon weighed his options. He needed you; you were the only card left to play, but you had no intention of going quietly. The situation was devolving. The restaurant cleared out. And Hoseok was starting to move toward you.

“Jiwon,” shouted a familiar voice.

You caught a glimpse of Jackson barreling inside before Jiwon released you, turning tail and running as his life depended on it. You staggered with adrenaline into Hoseok’s arms, pushing him away angrily.

“Hoseok, get out of here,” you snapped, trembling with nerves. “For the years you took care of me, I can give you this one chance. I may not be able to save you when he gets here.”

Hoseok gave you a parting glance filled with regret before reaching for the folder on the table.

“No, that’s mine. Remember?” you spoke under your breath.

Hoseok looked between you and the file, then he left without a goodbye or an apology.

Though you expected neither.

You grabbed the folder and hurriedly stuffed it into your purse, plopping down onto your seat and grabbing your untouched glass of water with a shaky hand.

The door opened and by the slow, drawn-out footsteps, you knew exactly who was coming.

Jinyoung slipped into the seat across from you, trying desperately to conceal the turmoil on his face.

“Are you…,” he began unsurely.

“Don’t,” you interrupted, refusing to look at him. Your blood was boiling.

Jinyoung exhaled loudly through his nose and respected your wishes. For a moment or two, you sat there in silence until you finished your glass of water.

“Are you happy?” you finally forced the words out. “Is this what you wanted?”

He frowned.

Gazing down at your trembling hands, you murmured, “You know, that day they kidnapped me, I swore I would never go through that again. If anyone ever tried to take me, I would fight like hell. I would rather die than be taken to whatever horror they had waiting for me.”

“Baby…,” Jinyoung started, wanting to silence you. This was dangerous territory for him. He couldn’t bear to hear anymore.

You set your jaw. “We both know what was gonna happen to me, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung rubbed his hands over his face. He couldn’t stomach it; he never could. Even at the hospital, he refused to listen when the police tried to tell him about the men who had taken you and what their intentions were. The town had been descending deeper and deeper into depravity.

And even though salvation had come, you still lost a part of yourself. Your peace. Your joy. From that moment on, you stopped seeing people. You only saw danger.

Jackson rounded the corner, approaching swiftly. “Jinyoung, we got him. What do you want to do?”

Jinyoung looked at you for a moment. You still refused to meet his eyes. In fact, your attention remained fixated on your shaking hands. And he was overcome with hatred.

“I’ll be right back.”

You stood sharply in dissension and called after him, “Jinyoung.”

Your lover rounded on you, speaking darkly and slowly, “Sit.”

Everything in you resisted for the sake of your stubbornness and pride, but your body obeyed him without a second thought. The Jinyoung standing before you was an entirely different animal.

Your eyes lingered on his back as he stepped out of your sight.

Jinyoung ambled into the alleyway, devoid of expression as he approached the dead end. Jiwon was there on his knees, Jaebeom standing over him with a fist in his hair.

“Jiwon, I knew you were crazy, but I never thought you to be stupid,” Jinyoung chastised, taking your phone from Jaebeom’s outstretched hand.

Jiwon spat blood from his mouth. Jackson had not hesitated to inflict punishment on him when caught, resulting in the busted lip and broken nose. “I’m flattered,” he grumbled, obstinate.

Jinyoung slipped his hands in his pockets and drifted closer, appearing almost indifferent. The bloodied sight was pleasing to his eyes, fanning the fires of his rage.

“I admit, you had me for a moment, but all you did was wake the bear.”

“I already screwed you, Jinyoung-ie,” Jiwon taunted, flashing a grin of crimson-stained teeth. “I gave them every shred of condemnable shit I have on you.”

Jaebeom clocked a glance at Jinyoung. He knew what that meant. Jackson clenched his jaw, enraged.

Jinyoung didn’t flinch, didn’t bat an eye. “Then, I’m doing you a favor. There is no life on these streets for a snitch.”

Jiwon laughed. “No point in killing me. You’re going to lose her. I won.”

“I win,” Jinyoung replied. “I’m the one keeping my life.”

The blood drained from Jiwon’s face. The rebellion left him and he exclaimed, “Really, Jinyoung? You’re gonna kill me in broad daylight over this shit?"

Jinyoung glared and retorted, “I would gladly kill you in the middle of Time fucking Square.”

Jiwon whimpered. It finally sank in what a mistake he had made.

Jinyoung crouched down, his eyes scalding. He never made decisions out of vengeance, only strategy, only necessity. Which was what Jiwon had been banking on. But there was a first for everything. Staring his enemy in the face, he whispered, “You put your hands on my girl.”

Jiwon swallowed.

Jinyoung lifted back to full height and gave a single nod to Jaebeom. “Do it.”

Jaebeom pulled the gun from his belt and cocked back the chamber.

“Yugyeom, I swear,” you said sharply, yanking your hand from his grasp. Poor Yugyeom had been trying to usher you into the waiting car and failing spectacularly.

Jinyoung emerged from the alleyway and onto the sidewalk. You overlapped your arms, ignoring Yugyeom’s pleas. Jinyoung took one look at you and knew that you had far surpassed furious.

“What the hell is going on?” you asked loudly. “Why haven’t you called the police?”

Jinyoung dragged his feet to you, outstretching his arm with your phone in hand.

You took your phone, staring down at the screen and seeing your own reflection. It hit you. Jiwon was dead. Threatening you had cost him his life.

“Baby…,” Jinyoung began, ready to face your wrath.

You took a step back at his approach and cried, “What did you get me into?”

Jinyoung lowered his head.

You hissed, gritting your teeth, “This is exactly the life I didn’t want for us!”

“I know.”

That infuriated you. He never sounded so indifferent, so unaffected by something that shredded the fabric of who you were, but you knew he was only hiding. Jinyoung devoted all of his energy to appearing strong on the surface.

“I can’t do this,” you whimpered. “I can’t live in that kind of fear every day. You of all people know that.”

“Come here,” Jinyoung crooned, sliding his hand to the nape of your neck and tucking you into his arms, your face buried against his chest where you belonged.

“No,” you snapped, pushing him back and storming away, wiping your tears roughly with the back of your hand. You had no idea where you were going, just that you needed to get away from him.

Jinyoung knew that, too, and he trudged behind you, always a few steps in your wake. “Where are you going?” he asked, annoyed.

You continued down the sidewalk, aimless and in denial, and shouted, “I’m not doing this. I’m not going through this again.”

“Through what?”

You said nothing.

Jinyoung felt his heart sink somewhere into his stomach. He quickened his pace, grabbing your arm and spinning you round to face him. “Stop and talk to me,” he yelled, afraid.

“You’re going to make me do this all over again,” you spat, shoving his hands away.

Jinyoung was at his breaking point and though he never dared raise his voice at you, this time he screamed, “What the hell am I making you do? Spit it out!”

“Leave you!”

Jinyoung paused, stunned into silence.

You staggered, covering your face with both hands as the tears began to flow. “It killed me last time. It really killed me. I won’t survive a second time.”

Jinyoung frowned and his voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “Then, don’t.”

You shrugged, running out of energy. “What choice do I have?”

“You have me,” Jinyoung snapped, clasping your arms like he was about to shake some sense into you. “We have each other. That’s enough!”

You lowered your gaze to the road beneath your shoes. “I’m sorry.”

Jinyoung refused to listen, refused to believe for a second you would do this. “No.”

“Let go of me,” you whimpered, trying to pry yourself from his grasp.

Jinyoung was too strong and he held you with every fiber of his being. “I’m not letting you leave again,” he hissed bitterly. “I was young and stupid last time, but not anymore.”

What a fool you must have looked; standing on the sidewalk yelling at your lover like something out of a second rate drama. “Jinyoung…”

Jinyoung’s voice was filled with conviction, it seeped into the air around you to the point you could feel his fire inside yourself. “You said it killed you before. Well, it killed me, too! When are you going to realize we can’t live without each other?”

It was a poignant question. You knew the answer the moment you left him four years ago. Without Jinyoung, a piece of you was missing.

Jinyoung softened, only a little. His hands slipped from your arms, moving to cradle your face as he stared into your eyes with longing and devotion. “I don’t care if this way of life gets us killed in the end. At least, we will have been together. You would rather be away from me and safe than with me and in danger? That doesn’t make any sense. Your place in this life is with me!”

“I know,” you sighed.

“Then, stop all this bullshit about running away,” he growled. “I know you’re scared. I’m scared shitless, too. But I know what I’m doing now. I take care of you and you take care of me. That’s it. That’s the bottom line. Nothing else matters.”

You had no argument and even if you did, you wouldn’t use it. All you knew was that you wanted to be with him. You never wanted to be parted from him again for an instant. He was where you belonged and you finally came to accept it.

But you couldn’t justify his way of life and you snarled under your breath, “You know why I hate the gangs. Why I hate everything about what you do.”

Jinyoung nodded and spoke diplomatically, “I know every reason why. I hate them for all the same reasons. But I learned a long time ago, if you can’t beat them, own them.”

You sighed and peered up at him with bloodshot eyes. The file in your purse felt suddenly heavier. “How many people have you killed?”

Jinyoung blinked, surprised by your question. But he answered without hesitation, “None.”

You tilted your head. “You have other people do it for you, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied, and not very well. In fact, Jinyoung didn’t even try to change his tone. He knew you would see right through him this time.

“Don’t lie to me,” you pressed; unsure what answer you wanted out of him and knowing damn well nothing he gave you would suffice.

Jinyoung leaned in, slipping his fingers into your hair, and whispered, “I have never taken someone’s life with my own hands.”

That was enough for now. You just wanted to be in his arms. “Take me back to your place,” you ordered stubbornly. “I’m not sleeping alone tonight.”

Jinyoung studied your face and ultimately nodded. His heart was racing. He recognized your fight or flight response - you were ready to bolt. The memory of him chasing that truck down the drive flooded into his mind. You never looked back as he screamed your name, begging you not to leave him.

The car was eerily quiet as Yugyeom drove. You and Jinyoung sat together in the backseat, but there may as well have been a wall erected between your bodies. Jinyoung turned to you only once, seeing your eyes fixated on the window as buildings blurred by.

Jinyoung knew in that moment he had lost. He would wake in the morning and find you gone.

You felt a storm raging inside you; a constant conflict and collision of emotions. The hardest thing you had ever done in your life was leave Jinyoung and for what? He still became what you feared, if not worse. You looked back in regret, wishing you had stayed with him.

Jinyoung called your name.

You turned reluctantly toward him, but he was looking pensively at his hands.

“It was never your job to save me,” Jinyoung said gently.

“Of course it was,” you replied, a little too sharp.

Jinyoung shook his head. “You made the right choice, baby. Now it’s my turn.”

You rolled your eyes and angled back to the window before tears could stream down your face.

If the car was quiet and tense, the penthouse was much worse. Jinyoung had your study materials brought from your house and then ordered food, not that you had much appetite. Then, he locked himself in his bedroom and didn’t come out again.

You studied as best you could, occasionally stealing glances of his door. Yugyeom did his best to alleviate some of the stress, but his humor could only go so far. You spent the afternoon on the verge of tears as you poured over textbooks. In the evening, you indulged yourself with reruns on the television.

By the time night fell, the bedroom door opened and Jinyoung stepped out, looking quite disheveled. He had clearly slept most of the day away.

“Go home,” he told Yugyeom.

Yugyeom leapt from your side without argument. He had a penchant for rebellion and teasing, but even he knew neither of you were in a lighthearted mood at the moment.

You said your goodbyes and watched Jinyoung for an explanation.

Jinyoung cocked his head toward the bedroom and said, “Let’s go to bed.”

You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him. You wanted to be angry, perpetually reminded of the day’s events and the folder in your purse that could very well hold the fate of your relationship inside. Standing up sharply, you stomped into his bedroom and Jinyoung closed the door behind you.

Jinyoung rifled for a white tee while you unbuttoned your blouse. Your eyes were on his back as you tossed the shirt away, tugging your tank over your head and unclasping your bra impatiently. Jinyoung faced you, failing to hide the way his attention fell to your naked breasts.

You pulled your skirt down until it dropped in a pile around your feet and there you stood in only your panties. Jinyoung bit his lip, pupils widening at the sight before him. You grumbled under your breath and held out your hand.

Jinyoung tossed the tee to you, which you pulled on quickly, and watched you clamber into his bed. You settled on the mattress and made yourself comfortable beneath his messy array of blankets. On your side, you closed your eyes and buried your face against the pillow.

It smelled deeply of him.

“Should I crash on the couch?” Jinyoung asked bluntly a moment later. He was trying to gauge just how angry you were at him.

Your fuse was short and you barked, “Get in here, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung didn’t hesitate to crawl into bed behind you, tucking to your back and curling an arm around your waist. It didn’t matter how furious you felt, being in his arms provided a feeling of safety and security you could never find anywhere else. When you were with Jinyoung, you were untouchable, invulnerable.

“I will never love anyone but you,” Jinyoung whispered into your skin, his breath hot on your neck. “I need you to know that.”

“I know,” you sighed, eyes fluttering closed.

Jinyoung flexed his grip, holding you tightly. He wanted to lose himself inside you, until only the good parts of him remained. If there were any left. Jinyoung knew he was far beyond redemption.

Not long after midnight, the emptiness of the bed woke you. Adrenaline snapped you to attention, threatening to keep you awake for as long as it took to find Jinyoung and bring him back to bed.

“Jinyoung?” you called out, striding to the bedroom door and expecting to see him sulking on the couch.

But then you heard a noise in the bathroom and stopped, approaching the ensuite and opening the door.

There, you found Jinyoung on the tiled floor, sitting across from the toilet as he proceeded to cry his eyes out. You took one look at him and collapsed, falling to your knees and reaching for him.

“What happened?” you exclaimed, flinching when he batted your hands away.

“Nothing,” Jinyoung snapped, covering his red face as the tears streamed down his cheeks.

He looked on the outside the way you felt on the inside - like a total, hopeless wreck.

“What is it, Jinyoung?” you asked frantically, attempting to take his cheeks between your palms. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“Yeah, I did,” Jinyoung shouted, his voice reverberating off the tiled walls. “I dreamt the love of my life threatened to leave me again and I had no one to blame but myself!”

You fell back as if you had been slapped across the face. Blinking through your own tears, you studied Jinyoung and how devastated he looked. The facade he paraded himself behind had shattered into pieces and you were determined to sift through the ruins.

“I won’t leave you, Jinyoung,” you whispered tenderly, cradling his face though he looked away. “You were right earlier. We can’t survive without each other. We never could.”

Jinyoung tilted his head back, resting against the wall, and merely shook from side to side as if his entire body was saying no. He blinked slowly, finally meeting your eyes, and hissed, “I don’t believe you.”

Bristling, you snapped, “Well, kiss my ass then.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened momentarily in surprise before the slightest smile took over his lips.

Rising to your feet, you stepped over him and into the shower, turning on the water before returning to him. “Get up.”

He peered up at you and said nothing.

“I said get up,” you huffed, reaching down and grabbing him by the shirt with both hands.

Jinyoung allowed you to pull him up and drag him into the shower, but he growled your name in surprise when the cold water hit his skin. You held him tightly to you beneath the running water, both of you quickly drenched while clothed, and assumed he would try to escape.

You had no idea what you were doing. Naturally you had assumed the water would be hot, given how damned expensive his penthouse was. Perhaps you just wanted a diversion, something to alleviate the heavy emotions threatening to suffocate you both.

Jinyoung fixed his gaze to your face, looking positively annoyed, and both of you fell into laughter at the same time at how ridiculous this was. You were relieved to see him smiling, heart fluttering when he leaned his forehead against yours and let his hands rest on your waist.

Overcome with your feelings for him, you fell forward, colliding into his chest and smashing your lips on his.

Time came to a screeching halt. Jinyoung cupped your face and smiled against your mouth, pleased by the urgency of your kisses.

He indulged your tongue slipping past his teeth for a moment and then he was on you, tangling his fingers in your hair while capturing you in a kiss full of hunger. His body pushed against yours, backing you into the wall roughly. You cried out at the contact, but he silenced you with his tongue.

“Fuck, why am I still so in love with you?” Jinyoung groaned.

“I love you,” was all you could say, tears stinging your eyes.

Jinyoung leveraged you against the tiled wall, slipping his hips between your legs. His next kiss was gentle, his eyes open to see the heat on your face.

Water mingled from the shower into your mouths, but all you could taste was him. Every slow, calculated tease of his tongue had you reeling. Your heart was beating at a steady but accelerated thrum, anticipating what would follow these passionate kisses.

“Jinyoung,” you finally whimpered, running out of patience.

“Shh,” he quieted you softly, kissing the corner of your mouth. “Just you and me, baby. Always.”

You hummed when his lips drifted to your neck, sucking at the base of your shoulder. You gasped in a breath, slipping your arms beneath his to sink your fingers into his shoulders. He was going to unravel you, you could feel it.

“Don’t stop,” you told him breathlessly, letting your head fall back against the tile and hooking a leg over his hip.

Jinyoung marred your beautiful neck, sucking and biting. Without a word, he slipped his hands beneath your thighs and hoisted you up, carrying you into the bedroom. You panted softly against his ear, heart racing with desire and expectation. You thought at any moment your chest would explode.

Jinyoung set you down on the bed beneath him, hovering over you and returning his kisses to your neck. Every smack of his lips was wet on your damp skin, droplets of water still streaming down your bodies from the impromptu shower. Jinyoung pried your hands from around him and stood upright, dragging your hips forward to the edge of the bed.

You exhaled nervously, slipping a hand into your hair. Your face was hot. Your pulse raced. With his simplest touches you were ready to shatter into a million pieces in his hands.

Jinyoung grasped the hem of your shirt and pushed it upward until you sat up and made it easier for the garment to slip over your head. He pressed another kiss to your lips, trying to calm your racing heart.

You watched with bated breath as he slipped his fingers in the band of your panties and brought them slowly down your legs. You couldn’t help but squirm beneath his heated gaze.

Jinyoung roamed his palms down your soft thighs, kissing and tonguing his way down the inside of your thigh before giving a swift bite. You squeaked slightly at the sharp pinch of his teeth, but your core clenched with delight, betraying you entirely.

He traveled up your body again, cupping your face and kissing you hard. You held him desperately and moaned into his mouth, grabbing his shirt and yanking it off of him. Jinyoung parted from your lips with a chuckle and stood again, gazing down at you naked and bare for him.

You watched him begin pushing down his pants, meeting your eyes and whispering, “I’ll go slow, baby.”

All you could do was nod and swallow the lump in your throat. You dared not say anything. Part of you was convinced that at any moment he would leave you wanting as he had done so many times before. Your mouth watered when he discarded his pants and his hard cock came into view.

Jinyoung finally kneeled on the bed, grasping the insides of your knees and lifting your legs how he saw fit, spreading you apart. You lay there like you forgot how to function. You were entirely at the mercy of the overwhelming need for him inside you.

You gripped handfuls of the sheets in your fists, losing your mind with restraint. Jinyoung guided himself to your entrance, pushing the head inside and watching you tense beneath him.

Jinyoung smirked at your sensitivity and grasped his cock, slipping his shaft between your folds and coating himself with your wetness. He watched your reaction as he teased your bundle of nerves with the tip of his length.

“Jinyoung, inside,” you keened, your body taut with desire. If he only knew how badly you throbbed and ached for him.

Jinyoung propped over you, chest-to-chest, and kissed your nerves - and impatience - away. He teased his tongue in your mouth and palmed over your breast, rubbing his cock between your slit.

Then, you felt his hips shift and he penetrated you slowly, filling you at an agonizing pace. You had no choice but to feel every inch of him bottoming out. You pressed your eyes closed and moaned for all to hear, legs bending beside his hips.

Jinyoung let out a groan, sheathing himself inside your warm cunt. His lips parted with a shaky breath.

He was so big. You couldn’t fathom how he fit so perfectly, so tight without ripping you open. That first thrust was always the best, making your body shudder with pleasure as you stretched to accept him.

Jinyoung was not faring any better than you. His lips were back on yours, but he breathed heavily. You were a vice on his cock, kneading and pulsing around him with need.

You gave him a nod that you were ready and Jinyoung lifted, propping himself on his fists and drawing back his pelvis to thrust into you. You bit your lip and let your hands lay at opposite sides of your head. You stared up at him in reverence, whimpering after another hard smack of his hips.

Jinyoung glanced down, growling at the sight of your pussy stuffed full of his thick cock. He fucked you at a steady pace, pushing himself in and dragging back out.

It felt so good, even better than you knew it would. Your soft whimpers and moans filled the room, music to Jinyoung’s ears.

He only touched where your bodies connected and the sight was erotic. You bent your knees and angled your hips to accept him deeper, sighing loudly in ecstasy. Jinyoung watched your breasts bounce each time his cock drove inside your tight pussy.

You wanted to smile. Jinyoung was making love to you.

He had a penchant for being rough, dominant, but there were times he could be gentle. Jinyoung loved taking pleasure from your body and fucking you to orgasm, but for now he took his time, wanting to savor the feeling of finally being one with you again.

“Deeper,” you coaxed, voice raspy. “Harder.”

Jinyoung finally tore his gaze away from his cock disappearing inside your cunt to look at the hooded lust on your face. He brought a hand to your throat and gripped snugly, not enough to put pressure, but certainly enough to snare your attention.

“Take what I give you,” he growled, stealing a kiss none too gently.

You held his wrist, walls tightening at his total dominance over your body, and nodded your obedience.

Jinyoung was about to lose his mind. He could hear the wet suck of your pussy each time he pushed his cock inside. He knew he couldn’t last much longer. The harder he went, the faster he would finish.

The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin. Given the weeks of tension and the years of distance, you knew this would be fast. You knew he would make short work of you.

Tears slipped from your eyes. From pleasure. From emotion. You cried for the years wasted without him and for how complete you finally felt now that he was buried inside you.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Jinyoung crooned, reaching up to wipe a tear with his thumb.

You clenched your fists in the sheets beside your head. “I missed you,” was all you could choke out.

“I know, baby,” he said, running his fingers over your nipple before giving your bouncing breast a hard squeeze. “You feel so good. So warm and so tight.”

You moaned. He never slowed his pace, never fell out of rhythm for even a moment. Every inch of his thick cock kept pumping deeper and deeper inside you. You didn’t want it to end. He truly owned you mind, body and soul.

Jinyoung lilted his head. “You gonna be a good girl and come for me?”

“Mm,” you hummed. By his tone, it was not a request.

Jinyoung braced a hand on your hip, pinning you to endure his quickening pace. You shuddered beneath him, throwing your head back as the mattress began to creak from his roughness. He pounded into you, hitting that sweet spot and driving you insane.

“Jinyou…,” was all you could manage.

Jinyoung leveraged both hands on your thighs, throttling into you harder and harder, fucking you good until stars burst behind your eyes. He glanced down to see where your bodies met, where his cock disappeared inside your swollen pussy.

“Come for me,” he said darkly.

You cried out for mercy, body jolting from the intensity of his thrusts. Another hard smack of his hips and you were over the edge, back arching on the bed as your mouth opened in a silent scream.

Jinyoung pinned your arms, wary of your fingernails, and watched your satisfaction with a smirk. Your cunt clamped down on him with a vengeance, making his movements stutter.

The moment you regained some of your senses, you pushed his chest, wrestling him off of you and shoving him to his back. Jinyoung watched you in confusion before grinning with pride, grunting when you straddled him and took his painfully hard cock back inside you.

You watched his mouth gape open, the smallest of moans lingering in his throat. You anchored your hands on his firm chest and bounced your hips up and down.

“F-fuck,” Jinyoung stammered, surprised at how eagerly you rode him, how tightly your innermost walls gripped every inch of his length.

You flipped your hair behind your shoulders and ground yourself down on his cock, wanting him to climax harder than he ever had before. The lines of Jinyoung’s face were tense and furrowed. He was holding back with every shred of strength he had. His chest heaved for breath and his body bobbed on the mattress with how rough you fucked him.

Suddenly, Jinyoung sat up with you in his lap, grasping your waist. “Stay still,” Jinyoung choked against your neck.

“But…,” you started confusedly.

“I don’t want to come yet.”

You giggled and sighed, “I won’t hold it against you.”

Jinyoung released a nervous chuckle and the sound made you shiver. By the weakness in his voice, you knew he really was on the brink of blowing his load.

Grinning, you kept riding him, grappling with his hands as he tried to get ahold of you. You arched your hips, pumping your velvet walls on his cock.

“Say you love it,” you whispered darkly, yanking at his hair until his attention was on your face.

He didn’t hesitate to pant against your lips, “I fucking love it.”

“Come deep, baby,” you spoke even softer.

The familiar swell and throb of him almost made you climax again. With a twitch of his cock, Jinyoung lost himself to pleasure and began to fill you.

“Fuck,” Jinyoung cried out, moaning with every burst of cum that painted your insides.

You held him tighter, shivering at the rapid hot and cold of his breaths on your neck. He overlapped his arms around you, squeezing with all of his might while gritting his teeth.

Jinyoung gave a final groan, utterly spent, laying you on your back and pressing you into the mattress with the weight of his body.

You roamed your hands across his sweaty skin; anywhere and everywhere you could touch. He was scalding against the pads of your fingers, like a raging fire burned inside of him.

Jinyoung stayed sheathed inside and pinned you between his muscly arms, gracing tired, wet kisses to your lips. “Are you okay?” he asked tenderly.

You offered him a nod, staring into the glistening black of his eyes. He looked so fucked out, you wanted to grin with a mix of arrogance and satisfaction.

“Say something,” he rasped, searching your face for an answer.

You raked your nails down his back, stopping only when your hands landed on his ass. “Catch your breath,” you warned playfully.

Jinyoung’s eyes flickered with surprise and arousal. Then, he smirked.

You took his lip between your teeth and tugged, and your voice was husky when you purred, “The night’s just getting started...”

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a/n : this story was previously Lacuna on my old blog, minheoney. I’m really excited to finally finish it! This fic was my baby for so long and I’m ridiculously happy to give it a new home :)

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // all rights reserved }

[skinnyziamlove]

i've always wanted to make a fic rec but i never got the chance, but yesterday some friends (@introvertedbitch2302 and @liamislife​) asked if i could recommend them some of my favorite fics and i got all excited and here i'm !!!!

these fics are my precious babies and i love them all so they are not in a specific order (and please be aware of the trigger warnings in the tags before you read them):

Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide

Or an I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.

The Underdogs

Zayn Malik hates everything about winter. He hates the snow, he hates scraping the ice from his car, he hates freezing every time he steps outside, he hates wearing hats and heavy jackets. In fact, the only thing he doesn't hate about it are his hockey player buddies and his childhood best friend, Liam Payne, the teenage star hockey player and captain of their small town team.

Good Thing At a Bad Time

Zayn prefers to be on his own. It's easier to survive when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Liam leads a large group of people that have taken residence in an abandoned prison. When Zayn wakes up in a prison cell, all he can think about is finding a way out. Liam makes him want to stay.

I See You Babe, But We Are Both Blind

Zayn's fairly certain the world actually hates him. He's got the shittiest luck, and fate seems to want to fuck with him. But maybe that's exactly what he needs.

One Direction returns to London for a break from their Take Me Home Tour in August 2013, and after an unfortunate run-in at a coffee shop, Liam and Zayn find themselves in a fake relationship. Except, it ends up not feeling fake at all.

through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall

They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.

Angel of Mine

"I'm Zayn, a third year english student, it's my first time here and," he swallows, throat thick with nervousness, "I guess I'm here ‘cause I'm an alcoholic."

Zayn is a recovering alcoholic and Liam is his sponsor.

Die Young, Stay Pretty

Zayn is happy being a hairdresser who minds his own business; that is, until someone called "Liam" has to come in, dragging his friend on the back of a bet. And, really, Zayn didn't stand a chance.

It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.

Mad About the Boys

Or: Five times Zayn and Liam cheat Death and then one more time for good measure.

But You Held the Ice

Every time Zayn gets hurt, Liam is there.

Everything On You Intoxicates

Where Zayn maybe stalks that fit guy from his Intro to Lit class on Instagram.

Tangled Up in You

It turns out Zayn’s flatmate is essentially a disney prince. Zayn wonders how this became his life.

kill monsters in the rain

A story where Liam can't get over how great Zayn is at singing and drawing and pretty much everything, how just being near Zayn is enough to make Liam's life a hundred times better, how lucky Liam is to have a best friend just as dedicated to pretending to be a superhero as he is.

it keeps my veins hot (the fire's found a home in me)

or the one where zayn survives a fire and falls in love with the firefighter that saved him.

This Swirling Storm Inside

Or Frozen AU in which Zayn is the heir to the kingdom of Arendelle. He's also trans, and his lifelong dysphoria is finally reaching a breaking point.

I'll Be Strong For You

When Zayn breaks his leg attempting to skateboard over Harry's car, he ends up stuck in the hospital for two weeks. The only thing he doesn't hate about the hospital is the gorgeous volunteer, Liam, who is almost annoyingly sunny and happy. But Liam's got a secret a secret hidden behind his impossibly bright smile.

And You Know For Me, It's Always You

The Gilmore Girls AU I thought would be a good idea and it turns out, it was.

Beautiful Monster

Or, Zayn is a homeless vampire who, unbeknownst to Liam, has been routinely breaking into Liam's van for a warm place to sleep. When Liam catches him in the act things end up going in a direction no one expected. And then shit gets weirder. Because Liam might also be hiding some secrets of his own...

Z.A.Y.N

For six years, international R&B star Liam Payne has topped the charts with his unique, upbeat songs. Even though he’s proud of where he’s gotten himself, he knows he can’t take all the credit; there’s one particular songwriter that goes by the name ‘Icarus Kalim’ that’s played a huge part in his success. Because of the writer’s ability to craft thought provoking tracks that touch Liam in a way he didn’t even know was possible from afar, the celebrity makes a musical exception for ‘Icarus’, buying the man’s songs for himself, even though he swore he would never put his name on something he had no help in creating. But what happens when Liam finally tricks the soulful poet into meeting him after years of not even knowing what the man looks like? Is ‘Icarus’ really all Liam’s made him out to be in his head or will he be unlike anything the singer could’ve ever dreamt up…

I'm Almost Me Again, He's Almost You

(Or, where Liam searches across time and space for the answer to the question: Who the fuck is Zayn?)

A Full Course Meal

Liam had been dreaming about having his own restaurant for a few years. Money was always an issue, though, so when he heard the Food Network was recording a few episodes of Chopped in his city, he let his best friend talk him into participating.

Many things could go wrong along the way; from ruthless rivals to impossible ingredients, from unforgiving judges to his own mind getting in the way.

He spent long nights fretting about the possibilities and still, he never could have guessed what Chopped really had in store for him.

My Lungs and Your Lilac Eyes

This is a love story. It’s an accident, mostly. Nearly all of them are.

You're My Favorite Story

A zombie outbreak leaves Liam teamed up with Zayn, a stranger with a motorcycle who saves Liam's life. Their world has been turned upside down, and all they really have is each other.

Let's Be Alone Together

After getting his heart broken, Liam escapes his life in London by boarding a plane to Amsterdam. Along the way, he finds someone just as lost as him. Together they might just be able to find themselves.

Money Moves

~Fake Engagement AU with Boss!Liam and Secretary!Zayn ~

in the sun

"This man might wander into my dreams, too, some night. Wouldn’t it be nice, if I could pretend we’d met before? I’ve waited a long time, for such a lord.”

Be cruel to me ('cause I'm a fool for you)

Or the one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.

powerless (and i don't care it's obvious)

"Or the one where Zayn and Liam are in love, Liam has another bro female pal that might have been his beard in high school, Zayn has heartbroken sorta past, Liam is a superhero, Louis and Harry are disgustingly in love as Liam and Zayn are and Liam's friends just want him to not-be-a-virgin anymore.)

[mr-dwight-dwicky]

When Dwight wakes up, it’s dark. He can hear beeping and small bits of rustling. Hospital. His in the med bay. Of his space station. He’s alive.

He turns his head over to the left. Leera is curled up next to Johnny. They both seem to be asleep. He sighs. They’re safe. They’re both safe and sound. Jimmy. What the fuck happened to that bastard?

Still not quite coherent, he makes to push himself off the bed, only the let out a pained grunt that send him back to his pillow. His injuries…he expected them to be worse even after treatment. How did he even survive?

“If you pop a stitch I’m just going to let you bleed out,” says a voice in the dark. He recognizes it immediately.

“Why are you here, Adalet?” He asks. Another round of pain killers make their way into his veins, calming him down.

“I’m here for my uncle,” she says. She conjures a flame to dimly light up the room. It’s navy. She is so fucking tired of seeing that color. “And unfortunately if anything happens to you he’ll be a wreck. So do me a favor and don’t try to get up again. Dumbass.”

Dwight scoffs wordlessly. The light of the fire makes Adalet look tired. Or maybe she is. He can also see a familiar brooch pinned to her collar. Right next to the pin a certain Tallest gave her.

“That is a nice brooch.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He’s not sure if the chuckle that escapes him is amused or nervous. Perhaps both. Either way it makes him wince. He needs to start wearing some armor at all times. Maybe he can get Johnny to wear some.

“What happened?” He asks.

Addie rolls her eyes. “Jimmy got his ass kicked and I owe The Devil a new ship. You want the long version?”

Dwight’s brow furrows. “I’m sorry did you say the Devil?”

“Yeah. I know Uncle Johnny has told you about him.”

“…I think I would like the long version.”

“What’s in it for me?”

Dwight sighs. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Addie is silent for a moment before she relays the details to Dwight. Her tone is distant, as if that’s the only way she can explain what happened, detached. When she’s finished she’s tense and shaking. Her flame is rapidly changing colors.

“I hate you,” she says, her voice cracking. “I hate you so much.” The fire is navy again.

Dwight stares at the flame for a moment before looking back up at the ceiling. The pain killers make him drowsy.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

Addie snorts. “I’m sure you are. But for what, exactly?”

“…I can’t protect them.” Dwight says. “I thought I could but…I was blindsided. I thought I had learned my lesson but…”

He stops talking. It’s pathetic. Adalet is the last person on earth he should be pouring his heart out to. She’s owes him absolutely nothing.

Addie, however, sighs roughly and gets up from her seat. She leaves the flame hovering in the air, something Dwight was unaware she could do. She walks over to him leans over him, flicking him hard in the forehead.

“Fuck, what was that for, Adalet?!” He hisses, holding his forehead.

“Don’t be a baby. You’ve had much worse. Especially from me,” Addie tells him. “Stop being so…squishy.”

“I am not squishy.”

“Shut up, yes you are.”

Addie gives a huff as another silence follows. She plops down on the edge of his bed, her back to him. She makes a noise of frustration.

“That’s the hard part about having people you love,” she says, her arms wrapped around herself. “It’s been a while, so you probably don’t remember. But that’s the truth of it.” She sniffles. “All you can do is your best, get better every time. That’s all.”

There’s a heavy pause, Dwight staring at Addie’s back and Addie staring at the wall. He feels a maelstrom of things. This girl has grown up so much so fast. It’s his fault she’s had to. He spent so long trying to snuff out her light, only to find that same light saving him time and time again.

“I’m going to send you some resumes over,” Addie says after a while. “There’s some students that have been applying for some jobs and internships with Chance and I but we can’t hire them all. I’m sure they’ll appreciate the opportunity it work in PR.”

Dwight is skeptical. “What makes you think they’ll work for me?”

Addie pulls out her phone and taps it a couple times, holding it out for Dwight to see the screen. It’s brighter than Addie’s flame so he has to squint. Even so… “I don’t have my reading glasses .”

“By Togal, how did you ever convince me you were scary!” Addie complains. “The press got a hold of the story and asked for my input. I told them the truth. Well…most of the truth. Anyway, they’re now starting to believe you’ve turned over a new leaf and that you’re a loving partner and blah blah blah.”

Dwight frowns. He doesn’t like that. He doesn’t deserve that. “How…is the High Chancellor taking that?”

“The High Chancellor is none of your concern,” Addie tells him coldly. Righteously so. “But…he sees no reason to completely sabotage you. For Uncle Johnny’s sake, of course.”

There’s another brief and tense silence. This is weird. He doesn’t mind Adalet’s presence, and despite her demeanor she’s made no move to leave. He can’t fathom a reason why.

“You should go home, Adalet,” Dwight tells her. “If not home, then at least use one of the guest rooms to get some sleep. Johnny will be here in the morning.”

Addie continues to sit there, staring at the wall again. She’s shaking, but not with fear or anger. She can’t name the emotion. She doesn’t want to. She wants to scream at Dwight and let him have it. Stop acting like you care about me. Stop worrying about me. Stop looking at me like you wish you could take everything back. Like you would erase it all if you could.

Eventually she does get to her feet, walking over to the door. The floating flame follows her. It’s still navy. “I hate you,” she hisses on more time before opening the door.

“I know,” Dwight replies. He waits for her to leave before he adds. “Thank you, Adalet.”

[lukneetoonz]

Ghost of You Part III

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Summary: You were the greatest thing in Katsuki’s life…. now you’re gone.

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Warnings: Angst, graphic descriptions, mentions of death, cursing, hospital stuff mentioned(?), also kirishima crying 🥺

Word Count: 1,881

A/N: I am not a clown, I’m the whole circus. I really thought about making a long long chapter but it just didn’t feel right? Anyways, I’m so sorry for the long wait and thank you for sticking around, it means a lot. Here’s to 200 followers!!

NO ARTWORK POSTED IS MY OWN AND IS FOUND ON PINTEREST

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The world around you was black, but you could hear everything- feel everything. Muffled sounds of sirens, people crying, the echoes of commanding bellows, all of it surrounded you… suffocated you. Even if you wanted to open your eyes, you couldn’t. It was like your whole body was a thousand pounds, and you had no strength to even lift a finger. Was this how you die? Alone and scared?

Katsuki couldn’t breathe. If he hadn’t- only if he could of- fuck. Snapping out of his thoughts, he ran to you and picked your limp body up like it was nothing, making sure you were pressed against his chest. “Please… please please please don’t give up. You deserved better, you still deserve better. Please don’t die Y/N…. please baby I love you- I would rather have you alive and hating me then dead…” The ash blonde hero’s voice was weak and shaky, tears welling in his eyes.

Why was it when you were dying, that you could hear Katsuki’s words, but you couldn’t say your own? Not even your final ones. Even after everything, you hated that you loved him so much. Hearing his voice was so soothing to you, when he picked you up it was like the pain numbed slightly… Bakugou Katsuki always did say he would come to your rescue for the rest of his life, and he was a man that kept his word. You wished you could tell him- tell him that you loved him too, but you couldn’t.

The feeling of your body growing heavier made you panic as you began thinking of how Katsuki will think you died hating him, but that’s not the truth. You just hated that you loved him- especially after what he did. You hated yourself for letting him make you feel this way. You hated a lot of things, but you didn’t hate him. Honestly, you don’t think you had it in you to ever hate him. Trying to divert your bad thoughts, you started thinking of the last time Katsuki held you- the last time he kissed you. Would that be the last time either of those things happened, and you didn’t cherish it more…

As red eyes stared at you, running towards an ambulance he started rambling, placing you on the stretcher. Looking on, He saw the paramedics run to your side, putting a mask on your face and an IV in your hand, how could he not have saved you…. Bakugou looked around to find kirishima talking to the police, a grim look on the red haired man's face as he explained in detail what had happened. Suddenly anger started rising in Katsuki, crackles heard as he looked like he could kill the next person to get into his way, unfortunately the anger was directed at his friend.

*•*

As Kirishima saw the chaos, he knew he needed to tell Bakugou what he knew, no matter the consequences. Running up, Kirishima blocked a hit from a villain and looked at Bakugou with a guilt ridden face, “Ground Zero! She works here- 5th floor… she wasn’t off today. Go!” The explosive hero felt his heart stop beating when he heard his friends' words. You were here. Not only that, but you were still inside the half destroyed building with villains.

He couldn’t even tell his feet were moving, the ground soon not under his feet as he used his quirk to fly up to the fifth floor. What Katsuki saw- he will always remember; a scream ripped through him when his eyes followed your falling body. Breaking the glass, he tackled the villain who hurt you and dealt way more damage than necessary, half her face unrecognisable. A hand came and pulled Bakugou off the villain, Kaminari had came to help and he knew he needed to stop his friend before doing something he truly regretted.

“Bakugou! Stop-! I’ll handle the clean up, just go make sure Y/N is okay.” Red eyes burned into the electric hero before huffing, and jogging towards your body. As he saw your limp body, black veins spreading under your skin, he felt as if his heart was ripped straight out of his chest. Bakugou didn’t hesitate to first make sure you still had a pulse, and then when he was reassured that you’re alive, he picked you up and started running, a determined yet worried look on his face.

This was his fault. If he hadn’t been a complete douche, you wouldn’t have even been working there in the first place. Katsuki knew he wouldn’t be able to silence his thoughts, because as soon as they started, he couldn’t hear anything else. If you died, it would be on him. Your death would have been because of him. There was nothing in this world that he regretted more than allowing cami into your bed, but now that regret had a whole new meaning.

*•*

Arriving at the hospital, you were carried out and rushed inside, yelling and orders being tossed around. Still, you were paralyzed, the venom first attacked your motor skills, but now- it was attacking your organs. You could feel your heart slowing down, lungs taking shorter breaths, and your brain tuning everything out. Oh how badly did you want to scream out and tell them what you were feeling, tell them the way the venom was affecting you, but you couldn’t.

A giant poke was delivered to your arm, a warm, but stinging sensation traveling up your arm. Slowly you started falling asleep, one voice very distinct called out right before everything went blank. “Don’t you fucking die Y/N! I need you!!” Bakugou…. he came. A small smile graced your lips, a sign of you having control of the small feature, but before you could test out your other body functions, your whole mind went numb and the world around you went mute.

Tears rolled down Bakugou's face as he watched the medical team wheel you off, he felt helpless. For the first time in his life, Mr Pro Hero didn’t know what to do or how to help. How could he not know how to help you, the love of his life? If he couldn’t help you, how was he going to help anyone else? If you left him, Bakugou Katsuki didn’t know if he’d be able to survive. Rubbing his wet face, vermillion eyes looked around, before settling on chairs he can sit in, so he did. Even if the chairs were uncomfortable, the hero planned on staying there until he got news about you.

Uraraka came running in, a panicked face as she looked around, wanting to know where her friend was. As soon as she saw bakugou’s exhausted and miserable looking figure, she couldn’t help her own tears break through and stream down her rosy cheeks. “What happened?” The shakey female voice pulled Katsuki out of his thoughts as his eyes met uraraka’s. Motioning for her to sit down, he looked away with a sniffle, “Villain attack… a-and she was attacked by one with a spider mutation quirk.”

Uraraka knew that there was always going to be civilians that got hurt during a villain attack, but never did she think you would be one of them. Sure, there were casualties during the bigger attacks, but- that’s normally because they are in the danger zone of the fight, not deliberately attacked. “H-wh- she's gonna be fine… right?” As innocent as the question was, it made Katsuki angry. It made him angry because he didn’t know the answer to that, and he always knows the answer to everything. “Bakugou…” the soft whisper accompanied by eyes filled with sadness and pity, made the ash blonde want to explode, So he did.

“I don’t fucking know!! Okay?! Stop asking me things that I don’t know the answer to! I don’t know how she’s gonna survive this, It was like looking at a corpse already. You’re her emergency contact- so why don’t you go and ask the nurses and stop asking me!” Even if he was yelling, he wasn’t angry, he was worried. The strain in his voice gave him away, and if you looked closely you could see he was tearing up.

“She’s gonna be okay Bakugou…. you know how strong she is, there's no way she would just leave us without saying goodbye.” Uraraka’s voice was shy but full of determination. Before the conversation could continue, a doctor came out, his words muted to Bakugou, vision going blurry while he heard uraraka’s cries, as she hugged the doctor.

*•*

5 days. 120 hours. Yet, Bakugou didn’t care, nor did he care how uncomfortable the hospital chair was. He stayed by your bedside, even if you were unresponsive. Your friends came by, not only to check on you but to also check on Bakugou, they were worried for both their friends. One was in a coma, and the other started to look like a living corpse. Katsuki didn’t eat, didn't sleep, and barely drank anything, it was like he’d given up.

“Bakugou… she wouldn’t like that you’re doing this to yourself.” A hand was placed on the ash blondes shoulder, Kirishima frowning behind him. “Fuck off… you don’t know what she wants. None of us do. She’s basically fucking dead!” Standing up suddenly, Bakugou panted, lips twitching into a frown. Forcing himself to look away from you, he walked towards the door. “I-I need to get some air. Stay or leave, I don’t care.”

Walking out the door, he slammed it behind him, leaving the red haired man in your room, eyes filled with sadness. Kirishima took a seat next to you, patting your arm he sighed, “He didn’t mean it…. he’s just a mess because he loves you- and because he blames himself. I thought he was bad when you broke up, but this- Y/N you would scream at him for not taking care of himself. Please wake up, if not for yourself, please do it for Bakugou. I don’t think he would live if you die.”

As the red haired hero rested his head on your bed, your heart rate spiked, making an alarm go off on your floor, nurses and doctors rushing in suddenly. Kirishima was pushed out of the room, a panicked look on his face as he tried calling Bakugou, only to be sent to voicemail. Kiri didn’t even realize he was crying until the tears fell onto his lips, making him taste the salty liquid. You were his friend, and he knew that losing you meant losing Bakugou too, and he couldn’t bare losing two friends at once.

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Taglist; @katsukiswhore @leeeah-loooser @do-not-talk-to-me-i-am-awkward @desia2 @katsukiwonu @xxlushika @lov4kbg @aj-1154 @six-piece-chicken-mcnobody @nekee-lilac02

[chaoticgremlinwholikescheese]

Cars Suck

TW: Blood, near-death

JACK’S POV:

I love date nights. Just me and Alex spending time together. We rarely get any privacy with all the newsies around, so it’s nice to finally get some alone time. The restaurant we went to tonight was really good. It just opened up, a new pasta place. Affordable and delicious. 

“I’m telling you, Race and Spot are a couple. I caught them holding hands!” Alex insists. “No way. Spot’s the big tough guy and Race is a hyper golden retriever with a kazoo.” Spot and Race are two very different people. But, I guess opposites can attract. 

“I guess I could see it. Race does have a sort of charm-” I never get to finish my sentence. A car comes barreling down the street and runs the red light. Alex pushes me out of the way. I hit the ground with a thud. There’s a terrible screeching sound. Silence. Then people start yelling. I sit up and rub my head. What the fuck just happened?

“Alex?” I don’t get a response. Then I see her. She’s laying on the ground, eyes closed. Blood is seeping from a wound on her head. It’s already starting to pool beneath her. I scramble over, panic racing through my veins. “Hold on. It’s going to be alright. Someone is probably already calling for help.”

I put pressure on the wound. The blood is warm against my hand. It runs down my fingers, illuminated by the glowing street lights. “Jack.” Alex chokes out. “Yeah, honey. I’m right here.” She reaches a hand up to my cheek. “Why are you crying?” I didn’t even realize I was. I wipe away the tears with my free hand. “It doesn’t matter. Can you keep your eyes open for me?” 

She nods. “I’m fine, baby. Don’t cry. It’s going to be alright. I’ll see you soon.” Her eyes flutter closed. “Alex? Hey- hey, talk to me, please- Alex, I need you to stay awake. You can’t leave me. Open your eyes. Open your eyes, Alex!” She doesn’t stir. “No! No, Alex, please wake up. I need you. I love you!” My shouting doesn’t do any good. Why isn’t she waking up? She should be awake. 

Someone pulls me away from her. I fight back with all the strength I have. “I need to stay with her!” She needs me. I can’t leave her. I see paramedics loading her onto a stretcher. They start chest compressions. I’m ushered onto the ambulance with her. I can’t move, can’t speak. Everything is frozen.

The paramedics yell around me. They shock her. She jerks but doesn’t move. They attach an IV to her arm, hanging blood above it. I see her heart beat on a monitor. It’s flat. A constant beep. “Hand me the defib! Charge to 200!” They place the paddles on her chest. “Clear!” Her body jerks, but she doesn’t wake up. They begin chest compressions again. “Charging to 300! Clear!” 

Her body jerks again. And this time the heart monitor beeps. Her heart is beating again. “We’ve got a pulse.” The paramedics begin bustling around her, bandaging and stitching. They give her a shot. I can only watch as my love is being pulled back from the brink of death.

When we reach the hospital, they take her away again. They lead me to a seperate room. I try to go with her, but two nurses pull me away. They lead me to a cubicle. “We need to get a look at the wound on your head.” One says. She dabs it with some alcohol and I hiss. “It’s not going to need stitches, but I’m going to bandage it.” She places some gauze on the cut and raps a bandage around my head. She tapes it in place. 

“Let’s get you to the waiting room. You can wait there.” She gently leads me to a chair. It’s plastic and uncomfortable, but I barely feel it. All I can feel is shock. Fear. I saw my girlfriend die. Then come back. And she might be dying again, and I’m not there. I should be holding her hand. I should have told her I loved her one more time. 

I place my head in my hands and sob. I notice that my hands are still covered in blood. Her blood. I shakily stand up and walk to the nearest bathroom. I rinse my hands off. The water turns red. I look at myself in the mirror. I look like a haunted soul, wandering the earth. That might be what I might become if Alex doesn’t survive.

I wait in that chair for two hours. I watched the clock. Counted every tick. 7,200 ticks. People mill around me. Some laugh. Some cry. Everyone here is hurting in some way or another. 

“Jack Kelly?” I stand up and run over to the doctor. “Is she okay?” The doctor gives a faint nod of his head. “She’s not conscious yet. She has a very serious concussion and several fractures. She lost a lot of blood. She’s lucky to be alive.” The world starts to move again. She’s alive. She’s hurt, but she’s alive. 

The doctor leads me to her room. She’s still asleep, pale as the sheets that cover her. I sit by her bead and hold her hand. I watch her heart monitor and count the beats. She wakes up just a little bit after she hits 6,000 beats. Her eyes blink open. She turns her head to face me. She smiles. 

“Hi, Jack.” I almost cry in relief. “Hi, sweetheart.” She asks what happened. I recount it, leaving out a few details. “You saved my life. Never do that again.” She weakly laughs. “You know I can’t promise that. You have the survival instincts of a squirrel.” Even after she almost died, she’s still got her humor. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay. You had me scared there.” I admit. “Going to take more than a car to kill me. I’m basically superman.” I nod in agreement. “Why don’t you get some rest, superman. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.” She squeezes my hand. “I love you.” She says. “I love you too.” I mean it. So much. I love her more than anything.

You never really realize just how much you love someone until you almost lose them. I’m never letting Alex go again.

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 12

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count:  3,557 words

Warnings: Language, Smut, Soft!Javi

Masterlist

(Gifs by @pascvl)

Summary: Life after Pablo finds you and Javi in bliss. Javi adjusts to his new title of fatherhood. You and Javi talk about the future of your family.

A/N: So, this is the last official chapter! (cries for days). Thank you again for all the love and support! Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my tag list for any future fics! I have a few lined up. I will be writing an epilogue to this so you know what lies in store for them in their future. As always, the translations are at the bottom.

Your POV

“What do you mean you have to leave?” you asked, sitting up.

He smiled at you as the sheet you wrapped around your front barely left anything to his imagination. “They want to review my case, which means talk about my involvement with Los Pepes.”

“Which means they could send you to jail, Javi,” you said.

Javi shook his head. “They would have come after me sooner if that was the case. As soon as I get there, I’ll get ahold of my lawyer.” He smiled and tried to pull the sheet off you.

“Seriously, Javier?”

He laughed at you and nodded. “If I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be. Now, I’m not going to leave for the airport for a few hours. So, let’s finish what we started.”

You smiled at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. “I knew you’d be trouble when I first met you.”

“Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa.”

He deepened his kiss, gently pulling the sheet down. His hands danced across your skin, sending chills throughout your body. You smiled and laughed into his kiss as you ran your hands through his hair, giving him a slight tug. He growled and moved his lips down your neck and jaw, stopping at your already tender breasts. You let out a sigh, as his warm mouth was a welcomed surprise. He nibbled at one before moving to the other, his fingers already finding their way to where you ached most. He followed them soon after, kissing the inner parts of your thighs. He gently placed your legs over his shoulders as he laid down in front of you, his palms resting on your lower abdomen enough that his thumbs massaged you - running in slow methodical circles as Javi enjoyed the rest of you with his mouth.

As soon as his tongue came into contact with your body, you let out a loud moan. God, his tongue could do magical things to you. No, that man could do wonders. Your hand traveled down to grab his hair while the other had a death grip on the sheets. You felt him growl against you, sending a wave of pleasure through your veins. “You taste so fucking good, hermosa.” 

He felt your legs start to shake and close around him. You were close. Your breathing became more labored as you moaned his name, begging him for more. He moved his hand so he could use his fingers while his mouth moved to your clit. He rubbed the inside of you in those same, slow circles while he curled his fingers, running them down your walls. You lifted your hips and cried out as you arched your back. You cried his name, each syllable falling off your tongue like a sweet plea.

He finally came up for air, your orgasm glistening on his face; the sexiest and most arousing thing you’d ever seen. Javi wiped his face and cleaned his fingers off before returning to your mouth. He stopped moving for a moment and looked down at you. “What’s wrong?” you said, placing hands on either side of his face. 

He let out a long breath and smiled at you. “Nothing. I just can’t believe that this is real. That you chose me.”

You felt your heart ache for Javi. He knew exactly how to tug at your heartstrings, and he wasn’t even aware of it. “And knowing everything we’d gone through to get here,” you kissed him, “I’d choose you a thousand times over again, mi amor.”

He smiled at you and kissed you deeply as you felt him slide into you as far as he could go. He was the only man who could ever take your breath away and make you feel so alive at the same time. You gasped into his kiss as you felt him fill you completely and you both held onto each other for a moment. “Never leave me again,” he said.

You laughed. “You’re the one who sent me back here.”

He kissed you again. “I was a fool.”

“Javi,” you said, running your hands down his face. “I believe you said it best: ‘They’ll have to kill me before I leave you’. And you should realize, I’m too stubborn to die.”

He grinned at you. Since you woke up in the hospital, you’d never seen him smile so much. And you wanted to keep him smiling forever. “Never stop this,” he said.

“What?”

“Loving me this way,” Javi whispered. 

 You wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you. He groaned, but never broke his eye contact with you. “I will love you this way for the rest of my life.” 

He slowly pulled back before thrusting back in at the same, excruciatingly slow pace. You let out another moan and whimper. He’d never felt so good before, and you never wanted this to end. When you moved to Colombia, you weren’t looking for love. You were looking for a way to find yourself. Find who you were without Michael. Little did you know you’d find yourself Javi. Javi, the man who brought out the real you. The “you” that loved taking risks. That woman, you discovered, loved jumping in feet first, knowing fully well that she could catch herself, but was hoping someone else would be there to catch her. And you couldn’t imagine that someone being anyone other than Javier Peña. He showed you a life of love and happiness that was beyond anything you’d ever experienced or believed to exist outside of stories. “Te quiero, mi Javi.”

He kissed you even deeper as he moved. Your hands moved to his back as your hips moved into him, your body beseeching him for more. “Te quiero, mi hermosa,” he said, “Eres más de lo que podría soñar y todo lo que siempre quiero.”

You felt a few tears stream down your cheeks, and you saw one glisten his. You grabbed his hair as he craned his face into your neck. His velvety skin moving against yours was almost enough to send you over the edge again, thanks to your heightened nerves. “Javi,” you breathed. You felt his muscles tense as you said his name, running your hands all over his body. “More.” You said. His slow pace was torture.

He looked into your eyes and moved just a little faster. You felt yourself getting lost in his eyes, his touch, his scent, his movements. You could feel your body start to quiver and clench around him, drawing our low moans and growls from him. His noises always aroused you even more. But what you loved the most was his attention to detail. When you were close, he knew exactly how to send you over the edge by adding his thumb to add just the right amount of pressure and friction, and then he’d always say to you, “Come for me, hermosa.”

You cried out his name, loud enough that it echoed off the walls. You felt his hips start to move faster, helping you ride out your euphoria. Your body felt hot and cold as he continued thrusting and moving his hips in just the right pattern that left you feeling weak when he was done. You came again, just as he finally had his own release, breathing your name into your neck before kissing you and giving you your breath back.

You held him in place just for a little bit, because you loved nothing more than the feeling of having him inside of you. When he finally rolled over to pull you into his arms, you sighed and rested your head on his chest. He lightly ran his fingers up and down your side and kissed the top of your head. “I was thinking,” he said, “I really like the name Marcela.”

Your heart swelled. Since you’d been back in the States, you hadn’t really talked about what life would look like with the babies. And the fact that he was thinking of names made you love him even more. “That’s a beautiful name, Javi.”

He smiled at you and shrugged. “I just read it in a baby book the other day.”

You rolled over and leaned against his chest so you could look down at him. “You read a baby book?”

Javi laughed and started to blush. “I bought a few, actually. Look, I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Some of these books go into…” he cleared his throat and looked horrified, “detail. I had no idea a woman’s body could do so much.”

You laughed even harder and kissed him. “And think, I’ll be pushing out two of them that day.”

His eyes grew wide, almost as if he was reliving a horrific memory. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

You curled up against his side and ran your nails over his body. “I’m not. I already love them so much.”

Javi held you tighter and kissed your head. “You’re stronger than I’ll ever be,” he sighed, “there’s no way I’d survive childbirth.”

“You’re going to have to, because if you pass out in that room, I will kick your ass after I push them out,” you said, looking into his eyes with all seriousness.

He grabbed your hand and brought it to his mouth, gently kissing it. “I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

You settled back against him. “So Marcela for a girl. Any boy names?”

He shook his head. “You’re having a girl.”

“Javi,” you laughed, “I’m having two. We can’t call them both Marcela.”

“Well, I did half the job. You think of another name.”

You glared at him. “I get to spend the next seven months making them.”

“To be fair,” he smiled at you with his adorable, boyish grin, “I contributed to that as well.”

You hated that his grin could get you to agree to almost anything. “I like the names Santiago and Francisco, but I had another idea.”

He cringed at both of those names. “Please tell me your idea is better than those names.”

You lightly slapped his chest. “They aren’t that bad! I also like the name Jaime.” You watched him smile at you again. “Anyway, my other idea was we call him Javier.”

He laughed. “You want to name our son after me?”

“Why not?” You asked, rolling over to look at him again. “It’s a good strong name for a son to grow up and be a perfect example of a man, just like his father.”

You saw tears form in his eyes as he leaned down to kiss you. He let his head lean back against the pillow as he let out a deep breath. “Holy shit,” he laughed, “we’re going to be parents.”

You laughed with him. “Everything is going to change so fast,” you said.

You felt his body tense around you. “We don’t have anything ready. No crib, no nursery. Oh god, the nursery. What colors do we want to paint it? We need car seats. Fuck. We have to buy two of everything.”

You leaned against him and kissed him to calm him down. “Tranquilo, mi amor. Todo va a estar bien.” He looked up at you, and all of the worry in his eyes was gone. “Connie is throwing us a baby shower where we will get a lot of that stuff. You and I will need to go register at places to pick out things we want, but they will take care of it all. And, while we do that, we are also doing our wedding registry.”

He let out a deep breath. “Oh.”

“Besides, we are painting the nursery gray with teal-blue accents.”

You felt him relax under your touch and lean up. He rested his hand on your stomach and smiled. “I want to go with you to your next appointment.”

“I have one next week,” you smiled, resting your hand on his.

He kissed your stomach lightly. “Marcela and Javier.”

“Mi amor,” you said, “we need another girl name, just in case there are two girls in there.”

“Julieta or Mariana,” he said.

“You’re oddly good at this.”

He smiled. “I just know you’re having girls.”

“Are you ready to be a father to two girls? Two mini-me’s running around.”

He looked at you for a minute, almost like he hadn’t considered that. “I’ll be so outnumbered.”

You giggled at him. “They’ll give you these same eyes,” you said, making your trademarked doe-eyed expression he loved to hate, “and you’ll be wrapped around their fingers.”

“Dios ayudame. If we have two girls, you know we aren’t stopping there until I at least get a son.”

You pulled his face to yours again, kissing him deeply. “We’re going to need a bigger house, then.”

“Lo que quieras, mi hermosa.”

His POV

They were sitting at the dinner table over a meal Javi attempted to cook. The further she got into the pregnancy, the more he picked up around the house. It was getting harder for her to carry things, bend over, or even move. For the last several weeks, she waddled everywhere. She hated everything about her appearance, but he loved it. She’d never looked more beautiful to him than when she did her tired waddle up the stairs for bed. Every night, he’d taken the liberty of massaging her swollen feet to help her go to sleep. Sadly, the twins would keep her up for most of the night kicking and moving. “I’m ready to get these kickboxers out of me,” she said.

He set a plate of spaghetti down in front of her and some poor excuses for meatballs. “They’re not as good as yours, but…”

She stopped him and reached for his face for a kiss. “They’re perfect.” She rested the plate on her belly and leaned back in her chair to eat. “So,” she started, “are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

He stared at her for a moment, unsure what to say. On multiple occasions, she had referred to herself as said elephant, and on each of those times Javi had the wrong response. This time, he decided to wait for her to continue. “Cali?” she added.

Javi dropped his head. “I can’t leave the three of you here. God knows how long I’d be gone. I told them no.”

She sighed. “Then take us with you.”

He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. Did you hit your head so hard you forgot what happened?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Javi, ever since they offered you that job, you’ve been restless. If you want to go, I won’t stop you.”

His heart stopped. “Hermosa,” he paused, trying to find the right words, “I’m restless because I’m about to be a father of two. I would never leave you to go running back to Colombia.”

“Do you want to do this? Answer me honestly.”

He thought about it for a minute. He hated those motherfuckers and everything they stood for. So, the answer was easy. “I want to see the Cali Godfathers rot in a cell.”

“Then take the job.”

“Without you there, I’d be miserable.”

“Then take us with you. You’re running the office. You won’t be doing field work like last time. I saw the pamphlets on the apartments near the Embassy. They’re much nicer than the one we lived in before. Besides, we will be closer to the Embassy. No one is going to touch us. The girls will be young enough that we won’t have to enroll them in school, so I’ll be with them all the time. Besides, we could really use the money.”

“What about our wedding? Most of it is already paid for, and we can’t get those deposits back.”

She took a deep breath. “We will fly back for the wedding. Connie and Steve can step up in their duties for us, but for the most part everything is planned. We haven’t booked a honeymoon yet, so there’s no need to worry about that. We can take a honeymoon after you bring down Cali. Besides, that is eighteen months away. For all you know, we might be back home by then.”

He shook his head at her. “I just don’t want to relive what happened.”

“I know you’re scared, mi vida, but I also know that you want to bring those fuckers down. You and Steve both.”

He sighed. “I don’t know why they didn’t ask him,” he said.

“Javi,” she said, “if things get so bad that you’re afraid for our safety, I will fly back here and stay this time. I promise.”

“No, I will resign. End of story.”

She smiled, but that quickly turned into a look of pain. “Oof,” she said, setting her plate on the table and resting her hand on her back.

“What?” he asked, half panicked, because he already knew.

“Is the overnight bag packed?” she asked.

“It’s sitting by the door.”

She nodded and took several deep breaths. “Good. We need to go.”

“Oh shit,” he said, “okay. Um, do you need me to help you walk?”

She shook her head and stood up. She started rapidly moving to the door, faster than he had seen her move in a long time. He followed behind her, grabbing the overnight bag. 

***

Her parents rode with Chucho to the hospital. They’d been staying in town the last few weeks, waiting for their grandchildren to be born, and Chucho offered his guest room for them. Connie and Steve moved to Laredo when Steve was stationed there after Colombia, and Kate had been staying with them, doing what work she could from here. They were all waiting for them at the hospital by the time Javi and the nurse wheeled her in that direction. Javi stopped when Steve approached him to give him a reassuring hug. “I hope you slept good last night, because that was your last peaceful night,” he said.

Javi laughed. “I’m just glad you moved so close. Connie already offered free babysitting whenever we need it.”

Steve's face instantly changed and he looked off at Y/N being pushed down the hallway. “Free. B-babysitting?”

“It comes with best man duties,” Javi added, slapping his back.

“Javi!” she barked.

“That’s my cue,” he said, running after his hermosa. He caught up to her and grabbed her hand. “You ready?”

She smiled at him and kissed his hand in hers. “With you at my side, of course.”

Ten hours of intense labor, birth, and what he was sure was a broken hand later, he was holding one of his daughters in his arms. He couldn’t stop looking between the little bundle in his arms, the bundle in hers, and her. “They’re perfect,” she whispered.

“You’re perfect,” he said, kissing her softly. “I didn’t think I could be more in love than I am right now.” A few tears ran down her face. “And, you were right.”

She smiled. “I always am, but what about now?”

“They’ve already got me wrapped around their little fingers.” He kissed Marcela on her forehead. “And you’re not dating until you’re in your thirties,” he said to both of his daughters.

Y/N let out a soft laugh and cradled Mariana closer to her. “So,” she said, looking up at Javi. “Cali?”

He gazed down at the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen, wanting to remember this moment for the rest of his life. “Are you sure you want to go all the way back down there for more bullshiiiiii-of what we went through with Escobar?”

“Nice save, mi amor,” she laughed, “and te seguiría hasta los confines de la tierra.”

He sighed. “I’ll let them know in the morning.”

Marcela whimpered and Javi held her closer to him. “Hey, mi hermosita, it’s alright. Daddy’s got you.” He lightly rocked her back and forth until she calmed again.

He then leaned down to kiss Y/N. “You are magnificent,” he said. His heart swelled so much, he thought it would burst. “Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden describir y amo a nuestras hijas más que a nada.”

“Te amo, el amor de mi vida. Te amo mucho más que a nada.”

“Todo mi mundo está en esta habitación, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost it.”

She smiled at him. “Lucky for you, you’re stuck with us.”

Javi smiled wider than he ever had. He was filled with so much love and happiness, and the fact that she chose him over any man she could have meant everything. He really did love the three of them more than anything, so much that it hurt. This pain, though, was a good pain. He felt like his heart would bust open, overflowing with love. He looked over and saw her asleep with Mariana on her chest. He was so proud of her for being the strong, amazing, beautiful, and perfect woman she was. If he could take a picture of this scene, he would. He wanted to remember this beauty, this perfect image of unconditional love forever. “Mis hermosas,” he whispered as he kissed her head before sitting down in the chair next to her, cradling Marcela against his chest.

Translations

Por siempre y para siempre, hermosa. - Forever and for always, beautiful.

Eres más de lo que podría soñar y todo lo que siempre quiero. - You are more than I could ever dream of and all that I could ever want.

Tranquilo, mi amor. Todo va a estar bien. - Relax, my love. Everything is going to be fine.

Lo que quieras, mi hermosa. - Whatever you want, mi hermosa.

Te seguiría hasta los confines de la tierra. - I would follow you to the ends of the earth.

Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden describir y amo a nuestras hijas más que a nada. - I love you more than words can describe and I love our daughters more than anything.

Todo mi mundo está en esta habitación. - My whole world is in this room.

Tag List

@magneticbucky​ @larakasser​ @pedropascalownsmyheart​ @wander-lustbabe​ @frietiemeloen​ @wickedfrsgrl​

[ladyninjaa]

Simmer Part 1

Imagine: Being Kai Chisaki’s pregnant experiment and being taken in by the League Of Villains. (Reader’s powers are similar to Scarlet Witch)

Also, this imagine was inspired by a nice song called Simmer sang by Hayley Williams

Kai called you his girlfriend and perhaps in the beginning, maybe that had been true...perhaps it was just to pacify your thoughts from getting out of control. At first, you weren’t sure why Kai had taken a liking to you but you were flattered by his advances and his charisma; it would eventually cost you. 

It didn’t take long for his curiosity about your quirk to show; it didn’t take long for you to fall in love with a man who only wanted you for your quirk. You were young, stupid, and desperate for a home and Kai gave that to you in order to abuse you, to torture you, and to experiment on you. Before Eri, there had been you. You let it happen because you thought it was love; you let him tear your body apart and put it back together because you loved him.   

How fucking stupid you were; you were a slow learner, yes, but you learned that eventually, he had never loved you. By that time, it was too late to even dare to escape Kai. You pretended to be this lovesick fool in order to survive if Kai had any inkling of your true thoughts...he’d surely kill you. 

It wouldn’t have been a problem...if you hadn’t become pregnant with his child. He was usually careful with sexual intercourse but then Eri came and something sparked in him that scared you. He would stare at you as if you were some rat in his lab; it would unnerve you. Then the night came where he didn’t even bother with a condom and you figured it out. 

He wanted a child; a child to experiment on just like he did on you and Eri. 

Your protective instincts kicked in; no, you wouldn’t bring a child into a world where Kai was alive and when you show resistance, Kai was quick to subdue you and control you by using Eri as bait. Kai knew you cared for the girl; he let you two socialize, he let you get close to that little girl to control you, and vice versa for Eri. 

You were defeated; escape plans were useless. The underground tunnels constantly were changed to ensure escape was futile. 

So, imagine your shock when the raid happened and Kai left you for basically dead. He didn’t give a shit about you; never did and apparently that extended to his child swollen in your belly. He took Eri and that scared you. 

They found you in the deepest parts of the underground tunnel system; almost as if Kai wanted you to disappear from existence, but they found you. You saw there horrified expressions as they entered the room armed to the teeth and came to witness a heavily pregnant young woman in a windowless, almost bare room. It didn’t take a genius to find out what they were thinking, what they were speculating in their minds of what Kai did to you and the baby.

You were free. 

Until they slapped handcuffs on you. 

They reassured it was for their safety--nothing in the system told them about you. Kai had made sure to erase any information about your name, your birth, your parents, and your quirk from the world. There was never a mention of you. You were something unknown and that scared them. 

You didn’t speak; you couldn’t form the words or any words to form to defend yourself. So many years in captivity with Kai left you battered, scared, and almost mute. You only ever spoke to Eri and rarely to Kai. 

So, here you were sitting in the back of a police cruiser being taken to some villain hospital. You weren’t a villain...right? You had never done bad things...You were positive so, why were you being treated like a villain? You guessed it was your fault, you chose to be with Kai, though it was a very manipulated choice enforced by Kai. 

Your eyes focused on the ambulance speeding up ahead on the highway where they were keeping Kai shackled, strapped down, and perhaps medicated. Your hands rubbed your swollen belly as the future for your little one was unknown but it was better than the future Kai had planned for the both of you. You shuddered to think how that cruel man would tear his own child apart and put him back together for his experiments. 

Kai hadn’t done that often while you were pregnant but he liked the challenge because it was easy pulling someone apart and putting them back together when it was just them but it was a challenge to do so when the subject had another human inside of her. He found it riveting and you found it horrifying. Kai did it only a handful of times and when you finally begged him to stop in case it affected the baby’s mental state, he begrudgingly stopped. 

Your arms tightened around your belly as your maternal instincts began to kick in. You wouldn’t let that man live; as long as Kai was alive, your baby wouldn’t be safe, you wouldn’t be safe. 

Then the explosions happened; the police officer jerked the car to avoid hitting the ambulance and swerved into the highway concrete divider. Your eyes widen in horror and activated your quirk for the first time in a very long time; red mist spread instantly as the car made an impact with the concrete divider and you and your baby were cushioned by the violent impact. 

You were momentarily disorientated; so much had already happened that day, too much, that it was overwhelming your brain. You took deep breaths because you didn’t want to stress the baby; you were due in a few weeks. The police officer was knocked out but you could see he was still alive; you heard voices and your tired eyes wandered over to the ambulance that was rolled over on its side.

There was fighting between a man in a trench coat and the pro hero assigned to guard Kai. You watched quietly; eyeing the man in the trench coat. Was this the League of Villains? Hadn’t there been an alliance? Well, it wouldn’t surprise you that they betrayed Kai. Kai wasn’t exactly very likable nowadays. 

The man in the trench coat, his skin was...wrinkled, discolored skin stitched crudely. You gasped at the sight; that poor man! Were those done to him by someone else or self-inflicted? The fight with the pro-hero ended quickly by another man stepping in and trapping the pro-hero in a round capsule. 

Eventually, they were joined by a third man and you knew who he was because Kai talked about him, Tomura Shigaraki, the leader of the League of Villains. You swallowed uneasily and in slight fear seeing this man in the flesh. He was horrifying to look at. 

They ripped Kai out of the ambulance and rolled him out on the stretcher, surrounding him like lions circling a wounded gazelle. Were they going to kill him? You watched eagerly as Tomura spoke to Kai in an almost mocking manner. The second man with the compressing quirk took Kai’s arm. 

Your eyes widen with excitement.

Yes, make him suffer! You inwardly cried out. 

Tomura leaned over to grasp Kai’s other arm and you watched as Kai’s arm began to decay and Tomura sliced the lower part of his arm clean off. Blood splattered on the road and for a moment, you felt sick despite your excitement to see Kai suffering although nowhere near what he put you, your baby, and Eri through. 

Tomura was mocking him and laughing. 

Weren’t they going to kill him!? Your mind screamed, No! He needs to be killed! You screamed before realizing you were still in handcuffs. You stared at them and felt the red mist crawling over the handcuffs before the handcuffs were disintegrated. Your roll your wrists and found red, angry ligation marks. You rubbed at them gently before opening the back door but found it locked. 

Irritation spiked in you and without thinking, slammed your hand encased in red mist against the door and it went flying through the air. That caught the attention of the three men; they whirled around to see you, a heavily pregnant woman climbing out of the police cruiser. 

Tomura’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, “Who is that?” He asked eyeing your swollen belly. 

“I’m not sure,” The one with the blue eyes and discolored patchy skin answered equally as surprised and confused, “She doesn’t look happy though.” 

“I don’t fight women,” The last one with the compressing quirk quipped in, “Especially pregnant women.” 

“Why haven’t you killed him?” You snarled at them. 

Tomura looked over at Kai momentarily, “Do you want us to?” Tomura asked smoothly without hesitation. You had a powerful quirk otherwise why would Kai keep you? It didn’t take a genius to figure out who you were and why you were there. Your eyes had been to glow red as the red mist began to expand angrily and Tomura felt the pressure hit his body hard. 

Yes, she’s very powerful, Tomura thought quietly, she would fit in with us. 

“I won’t repeat my question,” You replied with a bit more restraint, “Please.” You added hastily feeling tears in your eyes. 

“A swift death would be merciful,” Tomura spoke to you with strange kindness, “And this man certainly doesn’t deserve that, does he?” He asked you with his head tilt to the side. The red mist was descending back to the woman slowly. “I can only imagine what he did to you,” He paused and added in a bit more carefully, “What he did to your baby.”

You flinched and your hands flew to your swollen belly. 

Tomura felt a spike of rage roll through him, “So, instead we make him suffer.” Tomura told you, “He’s a useless man, now. Would you like to see our handy work?” He asked moving to the side and gesturing towards Kai who hadn’t even spoken a word. 

You hesitated and asked quietly, “He won’t hurt us anymore?”

Tomura shook his head, “No, he’ll never hurt anyone anymore.” He answered while his two henchmen stood back; watching the woman with pity in their eyes. You swallowed uneasily and shuffled over to Kai and met his yellow eyes. You flinched but Kai didn’t say anything, he merely stared at you. 

You stared back and you felt the rage in you swirl inside of you frantically. Kai’s eyes widen as your hand slammed on his chest, red mist exploding from your hand and a silent scream came from Kai. His veins protruding against his flesh and then his veins became red and then Kai screamed in agony. 

Your eyes were glowing red; a blood lust red as you stared at the man who made your life hell; who hurt your baby, who hurt Eri. He was beginning to arch his back in agony; you were killing him. 

A gentle hand on your shoulder scared you out of your rage-induced haze, you flinched and suddenly Kai was silent. The red mist was gone and your eyes were no longer red. You saw Tomura standing beside you, “He isn’t worth the blood on your hands.” Tomura spoke quietly, “Let him suffer now.” 

You took a step away from the stretcher and looked hopelessly around unsure what to say or do. “Come with us,” Tomura suggested with a shrug, “We aren’t too bad, at least not as bad as him,” Tomura kicked Kai’s stretcher with a look of disdain, “We’ll take care of you.”

“How?” You asked without thinking. 

Tomura pointed at your stomach, “Once they learn that child is his, you won’t be treated with much kindness. Even if you are his victim, they won’t care. We’ll protect you, we won’t treat you unkindly.” 

“Why?” You dared to ask with a wobbly voice. 

“I don’t particularly like pregnant women being treated wrongly,” Tomura shrugged, “Besides, you kept the baby even knowing who the father was; that makes you strong.” Tomura had wished his own stupid mother had wanted him. Tomura wasn’t completely heartless, he knew that. Besides, her quirk, whatever it was, was incredibly powerful so, that was an added bonus. 

“You don’t have anywhere else to go right now, do you?” Tomura questioned knowingly, “Stay with us for now and if you want to leave then we’ll let you leave without resistance.” 

You glanced at his two companions and they were watching you curiously, “I’m due in a few weeks,” You mumbled going to rub your belly, “I doubt you’ll have much use for me.” 

“I’m not offering you to join our cause,” Tomura replied with annoyance, “I’m offering you a place for you and your baby something you don’t have at the moment,” He sighs and adds, “Besides, if you want to be useful, we can arrange that.” He shrugs. 

“You better decided quickly,” The man with the discolored skin patches drawls, “Our time is running out.” 

You look down at your belly and pray to God these men were better than Kai--though anything or anyone was better than Kai. You gave a faint nod and Tomura offered his hand out to you to take. You eyed it warily and he rolled his eyes, “If I wanted to do that, I would have already done so.” He said snappishly. 

You couldn’t help it but you laugh. 

The three men couldn’t help but stare at the soft smile on your face. 

You took Tomura’s hand, “Thank you.”

Tomura gently began leading you away from the chaos they created with his companions positioning behind the both of you, “What’s your name?” Tomura asked.

“Y/N, nice to meet you.” You responded feeling a little bit about today’s events. 

Also, so, this isn’t a Tomura pairing, lol. It’s gonna be a Dabi pairing, hehe, so yes, another part!

[katebacks]

Ride Or Die - Chapter 13 (m)

— pairing |Jeon Jungkook /Reader — word c |7,469 — genre |Mafia au!, angst , Smut, mature — summary |  Things seem to get even more dangerous now that a person from Jungkook's recent past is willing to destroy your life. — warnings/tags |Adult content, Violence, drugs, alcoholic beverages, explicit sex, low slang words.

— Ride Or Die - Character Biography.

O1  | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | ‘13′ | 14 | 15 |

"Are you a cop?" You asked loudly, indignantly. Jimin just stared at you, his eyes filled with guilt, not knowing what to answer.

"Passion, I ..." He started to speak, but was interrupted when shots hit the rear glass of the car and you shouted throwing yourself over Jimin, covering your head with your hands as he hugged you, trying to protect you. Hoseok cursed and began to zig-zag in the street, trying to escape the bullets.

"(Y/N), come to the front seat and put your seat belt on." He ordered and you obeyed, jumping into the front seat, fastening on your seat-belt and cowering on the seat.

"What are we going to do? We have to get (Y/N) out of here." Jimin said and Hoseok glared at him in the rear-view mirror.

"First I'll leave her in a safe place, then I'll find out what you know about us and then, I'll kill you." He snarled. "You have no idea where you got yourself, jackass." Keeping his foot on the accelerator, he turned the steering wheel and pulled the parking brake, making the rear wheels slip and the car spinning ninety degrees, turning right into a narrow street.

"They are still behind us." You whimpered. "What are we going to do, Hobi?"

"Stay calm, little one, we'll be fine …"

And as the car entered a new street, you were hit by a truck coming in the opposite direction. The front of the truck slammed into the driver's side, causing the car to roll on the runway and stop hitting a post on the street.

You felt the impact when your body was thrown violently forward and the belt pulled you back, making you hit your head hard on the seat. The three of you were thrown all over the car, banging your head on the door and the seat where you were sitting. Jimin was thrown against the front seats while Hoseok banged his head on the steering wheel. The pain was unbearable. You had closed your eyes and now that you opened them again, you could barely see because your vision was blurry. With difficulty, you looked to the side and saw that Hoseok was lying on the wheel, his forehead dripped blood and he was motionless.  You wanted to move your hand toward him, but your body was not obeying you.

“Ji-jimin” You whispered when you heard nothing coming from the backseat, not even a groan of pain.

You could vaguely hear someone screaming in the street, and slowly moving your head, looking over Hoseok's body through the glass of the door, you saw a man coming down from the truck and running toward you. But a shot in his head prevented him from reaching you, and as soon as his body hit the ground, you saw three men coming out from behind the truck. Both masked, very well armed. You did not know if they were the same men who were chasing you, but by the way they approached, wielding weapons, they were not there to help you. It was already night, and you were on a shopping street, which meant there was no residence nearby, no one who could help. You did not have the strength to scream let alone to move and defend you and your friends. You were hopeless that you could survive.

They say that when you are on the verge of death, your life passes like a movie before your eyes. And that's exactly what happened. You remembered everything. From childhood until that last second. You remembered your Christmas as a family with your parents and sister. Remembered the first time you went to school, remembered your first love, remembered your first fight with your parents. You remembered how you met your friends, remembered every time you laughed and cried with them.

You remembered Jungkook. You remembered how you fell in love with him, remembered how he intimidated you and made you feel alive at the same time. You remembered the intensity of his love for you. And you realized you were not ready to leave him. You began to cry in pain and despair. You did not want to get away from him, did not want to die and stay away from him. You loved him more than anything that had ever existed.

Those men were even closer. You knew what was going to happen. Succeeding to finally move your arm, you put your hand on Hoseok's hand and held it tight. You closed your eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

You heard shots. But felt nothing.

“(Y/N)!” You heard a voice calling your name very softly. And then you heard the car door being forced open. Opening your eyes, you saw Jungkook totally desperate pulling hard on the door and finally opening it. Your chest filled with feelings and you cried with even more strength, feeling your whole body ache even more. "Baby! Can you hear me? Say something.” He said putting his cold hands on your face.

“Help them.”

Jungkook looked into the car, seeing his friend and the other boy fainted.

"Seokjin" He shouted and seconds later, you saw Jin approaching.

"Hey honey, it's going to be okay" He said and you whispered an okay. As he examined you, Jungkook opened the back door, checking if Jimin was still breathing, and Namjoon did the same to Hoseok, and both were still alive. "She does not seem to have anything broken, but we need to get her to a hospital as soon as possible. She may have internal bleeding or some head trauma.” He said and so he set out to examine the other two boys, and in the meantime Jungkook wore the pocketknife he carried to cut off your seat-belt.

“C’mon baby, let’s get you out of here.” He said, wrapping his arms under your legs and behind your back. You moaned with the pain that was infecting your whole body.

"The blond boy here has a gunshot wound to the shoulder, but he doesn’t seem to have hurt himself more severely than that, and Hoseok needs an urgent tomography. He had a head trauma. He's losing a lot of blood.” Seokjin's voice said and you moved your head, looking back, seeing Seokjin carrying Hoseok in his arms, while Yoongi threw Jimin over his shoulders. You also noticed that Namjoon and Taehyung were armed, walking backwards, keeping the perimeter safe, preventing in case a new shooter appeared they would already kill him at once.

Your body was limp, you let your arms, legs, and head hang, unable to lift them. You wanted to say something, do something, but your body still did not respond. As you watch Hoseok in the same state as you, but unconscious, you were beginning to feel drowsy, your eyelids were heavy, and you were slowly closing them, and Jin realized that.

"Don’t let her sleep, Jungkook." He yelled behind them and Jeon's attention was in the car in front of him, turned to you.

"Love." He said and sat you on the hood of the Dodge. He used one of his hands to hold your waist to keep you seated, and with the other hand he cupped your chin to make you look at him. "Look at me. Princess. Focus. Focus on me." And you tried. You tried to focus on his eyes, the black eyes that had made you fall in love with him, but you couldn’t. “Stay awake, baby. Don’t sleep yet.”

“I can’t...” You whispered weakly, your vision darkening. "I'm sorry."

And everything went black.

When you woke up, you were lying on a bed. You heard the noises of hospital equipment, but you were not in a hospital. You didn’t recognize that place. You were still in pain, but it were not as strong as in the accident. You were relieved that everything was fine now. You took a deep breath and moved your head, intent on looking around the room, and you saw that Hoseok was lying on a bed next to yours, not far away. And he was awake, with a bandage on his forehead, and he was looking at you. You instantly smiled at the realization that he was fine, your eyes filled with water. Hoseok smiled too, delighted with your smile, your beauty.

“Hey”

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked and you shook your head.

"And you?"

"I'm better now that you woke up. I was worried… about you." He said in a calm voice. "I'm sorry, (Y/N), I should have protected you."

"You did what you could, none of this is your fault, Hobi" You answered in still weak voice and smiled, to comfort him. Hoseok paused for a few more seconds before sitting on the bed. He stared at you, as if he wanted you to say something, but in fact, it was he who wanted to say something.

He stood and walked over to you, sitting on the edge of your bed and running his hand through your hair. You innocently accepted that affection, after all he was your friend and you almost died. But to Hoseok, none of this was innocent. Since he had known you, since he had begun to feel different feelings for you, because of you, that was the first time the urge to hold you in his arms and kiss you until he couldn’t feel his lips was stronger than normal and he was barely holding up. And the only thing he needed was your permission. And he was willing to do anything to earn it.

"Are you sure you’re all right, Hobi?" You asked when you realized he was staring at you for a long time. The inside of him fluttered as he heard you say that nickname so fondly, he needed to hear your voice moaning that name, his name. Fuck permission, he would do that right there.

“Fuck this. (Y/N), I…”

“You’re awake.” His plan was interrupted when Taehyung's lively voice invaded the room. You looked excited at the door, while Hoseok took a deep breath, ducking his head, his anger bubbling through his veins to had been interrupted. “I thought you two were going to sleep for one more day and miss all the fun."

Namjoon, Seokjin and Yoongi entered the room, followed by Jungkook with his arms crossed. As soon as he saw Hoseok by your side, with his hand in your hair, he frowned, wondering at the closeness of the two of you. Hoseok lifted his head and looked directly at Jungkook who had dark eyes coming toward him. Hoseok looked once more at you, who was now staring at Jungkook with a smile on your face, your eyes glittering, with passion evaporating through your pores. He cursed beneath his breath and stood up, pulling away from you and returning to sit on his bed, next to Taehyung.

"I hope you're feeling better already because we have a lot to do." Namjoon smiled.

"How are you feeling?" Jungkook asked taking your eyes off Jung, sitting down next to you on the bed, and clinging to you and giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“My chest hurts. I can not breathe right, but I feel much better.”

“The impact was very strong, your lungs were pressed, but you had no broken bones.” Jin said, standing next to Jungkook. "You'll be fine, but you need to rest for the next few days, no more stress."

"So she should have chosen another boyfriend," Yoongi said, standing by the door, making the others laugh and Jungkook told him to fuck off.

“Where are we?”

“It's a private hospital, it belongs to Mafia Jeon.” Jungkook began to explain. "We couldn’t take you to a normal hospital, we needed you to be taken care of quickly, and the police couldn’t even suspect what had happened.”

The police. Jimin. You remembered what you'd discovered before you hit the car.

"Where is that son of a bitch?" Hoseok snarled and rose from the bed furious, but Namjoon held him, not letting him advance any further. "I'm going to tear his head off."

"Not before me." Jungkook said.

"I want to talk to him" You said make everyone look at you. "Where is he?"

"In a separate room, he is in isolation until we decide what to do with him." Yoongi replied.

"Decide?” Hoseok exclaimed. “He's a fucking cop, who was probably using (Y/N) to have information about us, he has to die."

“I want to talk to him.” You said it louder, drawing their attention one more time. "Now."

When you walked into the room where Jimin was, accompanied by the boys from Century, he was pacing back and forth. He was without his shirt, with a bandage on his shoulder and some scratches on his face. His hair was messy and he looked extremely worried. As soon as he saw you, he felt he could finally breathe again.

"How are you, passion? They didn’t want to give me news about your health. Are you okay?” He asked walking towards you, but you raised your hand, making him stop.

“Why, Jimin?” You said with your eyes filling with tears, your heart aching with disappointment. “You lied to me all this time just to get closer to the Century?”

"I had to do this …"

"Why?" You screamed, angry. And the boys settled into different corners of the room, watching your discussion closely. "Why did you have to pretend to be my friend? Why did you have to lie all this time? I trusted you, Jimin."

"Because it was my job, (Y/N)." He said moving closer and holding your shoulders as your tears streamed down your cheeks. "I need to get close to them to know their plans, they are criminals, they are thieves, murderers and dealers, they are bad people, they need to be arrested." He frowned and spoke in a harsh, hateful voice. "You have no idea how many innocent people they ruined lives, how many crimes they committed, and yes, I approached you because I saw a chance to approach them, but I swear on my life, shit, I swear by life of my parents that nothing that I feel for you is a lie. " He said with pain in his eyes. You sniffed and looked the other way, to Hoseok who was red, controlling himself not to move forward, but Jimin caught your face, making your look at him again. "I love you, and I swear that since I fell in love with you, I'm doing everything I can to protect you, (Y/N)."

"I don’t want your fucking protection." You hissed, hurt that he lied to you. Jimin seemed taken aback by your words, but he didn’t back away. “Jungkook and the boys protect me very well.”

"Oh yeah? Then why are we here? Because from what I remember, you almost died in the middle of a gunfight and a fucking car crash. They are not doing their job right.”

“I don’t want you involved in this story, I don’t want you to use anything you have against my friends, all they did was for a reason. And you have nothing to do with it, being a police officer or not. I just wanted a friend, Jimin, not a spy. If you really love me, you will forget this story, you will forget me, because I told you, Jimin, if you try to make me choose between you and Jungkook, I will choose Jungkook. ”

“I will not walk away.” Jimin said almost instantly, as if he'd lost his temper. "I will not let them destroy you and I will not let them anyone hurt you, you wanted to or not, (Y/N), I'm going to stay on your side, I don’t care if you think you have enough protection, I’ll just leave you when I have sure that you are really safe, and when these pigs are in jail”

Jungkook walked in slow steps toward them, with a menacing look on his face.

"Get your hands off her now, or I'll kill you right here."

Jimin looked at Jeon, but didn't walked away from you.

"This is all your fault." He said looking at the members. "She almost died because of you. If I was not there …"

"First of all, she was there because of you, you lobworm." Hoseok growled. "She almost died because of you. You called her out. And secondly, Century saved her, you didn’t do anything."

“They want to kill her because of the connection she has with you.” Jimin growled back, pointing his angry finger at everyone. “I'm trying to save her. She would be protected with me and you know that.”

“You don’t know shit.” Jungkook said angrily. Taehyung approached and took your hand, gently pulling you away from them, knowing that any minute Jeon would explode and move on Jimin. “You have no idea what I'm capable of doing for her, you bitch, so you better tell all you know, because I swear if you or some shit cop at least think about touching a strand of hair of my girl, I'll wipe you all out.”

“You know you're not the best for her.”

“And what is best for her? Hm? You? You shit. She was with you and almost died because of it.” He screamed.

“All the disgrace that has happened in her life is your fault.” Jimin shouted, taking a step toward Jungkook, while everyone else just watched the situation. "I'm not afraid to fight with you, not if it's because of her.”

“You know we're six and you're just one, right?” Yoongi asked, drawing everyone's attention to the room. Jimin frowned at him, while Min's expression was unshakable. “In fact, you're in a building full of gang members.” The black eyes, taken by the darkness. In all the time they knew Yoongi, he only stayed this way once: when he was finally able to kill the murderers of his wife. “The account here is very easy, do not you think? And as much as I would love to see Jungkook roll you up, break your bones, make you bleed like a cow in the slaughterhouse, (Y/N) wouldn’t want that to happen, so make it easy and tell everything you know.”

“I'll tell you.” Jimin said. "If you let me participate in whatever 'life-saving' mission you're planning to do to end Shadow and save (Y/N). Let me join the gang.”

“What?” You almost screamed. "You want to join Century? And who the hell is Shadow?"

"You didn’t tell her?" Jimin asked looking back at Jungkook.

"Keep your fucking mouth shut, trash, this doesn’t concern you. You will not join Century, no matter what kind of information you have about Shadow."

"And why not? Do I have to go through some kind of ritual first? Some test?"

“Why?” Namjoon asked. "If you know what we do, if you know who we are, why do you want to be part of it? You don’t look like the kind that would trade your kind security for something like that.”

“I love her as much as he do …” Before the boy could finish his sentence, Jungkook inched forward against him, grabbing his neck and pushing him hard against the wall, making you scream and Taehyung hold you by the waist, preventing you from doing something like trying to stop what was about to happen. He pressed his fingers to his throat, and he used all his strength to make the boy stand almost still, struggling to break free.

“Don’t you fucking dare say that shit again, or i swear for the devil that I'm gonna break your neck.” he said skittish, releasing him soon after, knowing that you were in the next room and could enter there any moment. The man coughed and took a deep breath, trying to catch his breath back, his throat aching with the force that Jungkook had choked him.“No one will ever love her as i do.”

“Yeah, maybe i could love her better. Or maybe your friend there can, as he is already in love with her.” He said looking at Hoseok, making everyone look, even you, shocked. “Do you think I didn’t notice the way you looked at her that day at the punk bar? Or the way you held her today, as if she were the most precious thing you've ever had ...”

"Fuck off, you cuckold," Jung said threatening to move forward, but Yoongi held him. “Accusing me will not save your fat ass from the death, moron. Because if he don’t kill you, i will.” He hissed.

“Stop, all of you.” Jin intervened “This fight will lead to nowhere. As I said, no stress, Hoseok and (Y/N) need rest. We sort this out later.”

“Jin, take (Y/N) into the bedroom.” Hoseok said. Seokjin just sighed and approached you, reaching for you and smiling gently. Knowing that staying there wouldn’t do any good, you took his hand and headed out of the room, praying in silence so they would not kill Jimin. "We have nothing to 'solve. He's a cop, a natural enemy, you can’t be thinking about letting him join our gang."

"We can’t kill him, Hoseok," Namjoon said. "He may have information that is valuable to us."

"So? Let's torture him, make him bleed, take whatever information he has, and kill him. This garbage does not deserve to tread on the same floor as us.”

“I'm the one who wants the death of this son of a bitch, but he's on (Y/N)'s behalf, if I kill him, hurt him, she'll hate me forever and I can not lose her.” Snarling, Jungkook looked at his friend.

"Good, I'll do it."

"Of course, as if you were to bear the guilt of making (Y/N) cry." Taehyung said and Jung turned angrily toward him. Everyone was simply ignoring Jimin's presence there, even though he was the main topic of that discussion.

“I'm a sociopath, Taehyung, I don’t care about people, let alone about (Y/N)'s feelings. If we let this jerk alive, after all that's happened, after all he knows, he'll walk out that door and join a police task force to arrest us and fuck our plans. (Y/N) is Jungkook's trigger, not mine. So I'm fucking freaking out if she's going to cry or not.” And for some reason, Hoseok couldn’t believe his own words.

"Yeah, but if you make her cry, I'll have to make you bleed." Jungkook said, staring at the boy with dark eyes. It was rare for Jungkook and Hoseok to argue, and when this happened, the tension between them rose and it was too short for them to get bogged down and start beating each other to death. "No one will do anything to make her suffer."

“Said the guy who's responsible for the death of her parents and broke up with her on the same day. You should make yourself bleed, douchebag.” Hoseok said sarcastically.

"Can I say something?" Jimin held his hand up.

"No." All the boys said at the same time, making him roll his eyes.

"While you are there arguing, like idiots, about what should or shouldn’t do with me, my team must be invading one of Shadow's henchmen. If you want to know what they found, just accept my offer." He said, ignoring the 'no' of the others, and propping up the wall, crossing his arms looking at all with a smug look that angered them all. Everyone looked at each other, thinking the same thing, or almost the same thing. Hoseok opened his mouth in indignation as he realized what his partners were about to do.

“Come on, I hit my head on the wheel of my car and am the only one thinking right here? He's a fucking cop! The moment he gets out of here, he's going to turn us over to the police!” He shouted, throwing his hands up.

"I will not do it." Jimin said and Hoseok stared at him again as if to kill him at any second.

"And how can we know that?"

"Because (Y/N) is with you. That's your guarantee that I will not do anything against you because it will hurt her. We may have a truce, a deal, until we can get Shadow down and keep (Y/N) safe." He explained. "I know you have informants in the police, but they are all low-level police officers. I am part of the Intelligence Unit, I am a commander, and I am being promoted to Chief after closing this case. Any information you get from your low-level cops is not even close to what I can give you. And like I said, I'm doing it for (Y/N), to protect her. I will not promise that after ending Shadow, I will not do everything I can to arrest each of you, because I will, but at the moment, (Y/N)'s life and safety is what matters."

"You took an oath as a police officer, vowed to respect and enforce the law for justice, to defend society," Namjoon said, calm as ever. "Are you going to break this oath, because of our (Y/N)?"

"Yes I will." He answered without hesitation.

Hoseok just snorted and left the room, slamming the door behind him as the others stared at Jungkook, waiting for the leader's final word.

"Your oath is now another, you asshole. You protect (Y/N) with your life and obey my orders, or I'll kill you."

Hoseok burst into the room and slammed the door behind him. He was furious. His face was red and the veins in his neck were bouncing. He couldn’t believe what was happening. Jungkook could only be losing his mind, that's what he thought. And he couldn’t believe that that boy had said he was in love with you. You seemed so shocked, as if that were impossible, as if it were not possible for Hoseok to like you, but that was the truth and he couldn’t deny it anymore. He couldn’t deny that controlling himself close to you was getting more and more difficult, he wanted to be able to do with you what Jungkook was doing. He wanted to touch you, to kiss you, to love you. He wanted to show you that he would be a better man for you.

"Why didn’t I meet her first?" He whispered to himself before kicking the bed. "I could make her much happier than he does. Damn, I'd give up on this gang, I'd become a Gentleman, I'd be whatever she wanted, but why the fuck did she have to pick him? Fuck!" He screamed and punched the plaster wall, his hand crossing it.

“What the hell are you doing?” Yoongi entered the room and closed the door behind him, watching his friend with a gasping breath, his hand crossed on the wall. Hoseok didn’t respond, just pulled his arm and took a deep breath walking toward the armchair where his clothes were. "It is true?" Jung didn’t answer. "That you're in love with her, is it true?"

"What if I am?" Hoseok looked at Yoongi with dark eyes. "What in this goddamn world you will do, Yoongi?"

"Me? Nothing, but Jungkook will kill you if he suspects that this is true."

"He might try." The boy said as he finished dressing his pants, taking his boots and starting to put them on. "We both know that I am the one who is not afraid to Jungkook and manages to overcome him in close combat."

"I thought sociopaths didn’t feel anything."

"We don’t, unless we have a trigger."

"So (Y/N) is Jungkook's trigger and now yours too." Yoongi noted. He put his hand on his chin, perplexed and self-satisfied at the same time. "That pussy must have honey, she has three that are fallen for her."

"Be careful with the words." Hoseok warned him. Yoongi laughed and raised his hands in self-defense, watching his friend get up from the bed after shodding his shoes and walking toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

"I have things to solve, I will not stay here while Jungkook turns into a little girl and gives in to the blackmail of that stupid blond. I'll find Shadow by myself." And the moment he opened the door, he faced you standing in front of him, your hand raised. You were ready to knock on the door when he opened it. You noticed he was dressed in his clothes and not the hospital ones, and was surprised.

"You should be resting," you said. As much as Hoseok felt that he liked you, not even you being adorable and caring, could stop him or delay him at that moment.

"I have things to do, I do not have time to rest, I'll see you later." He said past you, moving on down the hall. You watched him walk away and began to wonder if you should go after him and force him to stay or simply let him go. And while you were in conflict, Yoongi leaned against the door frame and watched you. He knew from the beginning that including you in Century's plans wouldn’t work. Not because you're a woman, but because you're adorable, caring, funny and beautiful, the perfect match to make any man fall in love with you, and you've made the two worst men in town fall in love with you. You were getting into trouble., and you didn’t even know it, because you was too innocent to suspect that Hoseok was really in love with you.

As Jimin and Jungkook chatted inside a room, Taehyung was accompanying you for a walk on the building, ending up in the same room you had waked up, you talked about random things until you got to the point you wanted: Who is Shadow? Taehyung wasn’t surprised by your question, he already expected you to ask him that.

"Some time ago, we were all at a party of one of Jungkook's father's partners. There were a lot of rich people and lots of beautiful young women too. And one of them became interested in Jungkook. She said everyone called her Shadow. The two of them talked not for long and left the party together. For the next few weeks we saw them together more often than Jungkook had ever dated a girl. For him it was nothing but sex, but she was in love with him, obsessed with him. She was as cold as he, often killed people in front of us as if it were nothing, as if they were just rats and she the mousetrap. One day he said he had dumped her, but she wasn’t satisfied, she was angry. We thought she would try to do something against us, or only against him, but then she left town. But now she's back." He said, trying to be as soon as possible. You took a deep breath and absorbed the information. Your boyfriend's ex wanted to kill you. "Shadow is not a sociopath, she's a psychopath. She gets in touch with people, she conquers their trust, their kindness, and then she kills them. She uses it a lot in her 'missions'. She used it a lot when she participated in missions with us. She is dangerous as Jungkook. But her difference to him, is that she likes to play with the victims before going to them and kill them."

"So she wants to kill me because Jungkook is with me and not with her."

“Basically, yeah.”

"That's ridiculous. I'm not to blame if he dumped her."

"She's jealous because he introduced you to his parents, he asked her to marry him, he does everything for you and he never did anything for her."

"But do not worry, she will not get to you, ever again." Jungkook's voice behind you made you turn around and see him with Jimin. Taehyung frowned immediately. He was not at all happy that Jeon had let Jimin into the gang."Jimin will do your protection while you are in your classes. I've already talked to my father, and he has made available some of his men to be able to watch over you and protect the places you go to, while me and the guys are going to look for Shadow and kill her. "

"I don’t want a bodyguard." You frowned.

"You don’t want, but you need one." Jimin said and you scoff and looked at him.

"Don’t talk to me, I don’t want to hear your voice, Jimin." He opened his mouth to speak, but his phone rang and as soon as he saw the message, he turned to Jungkook.

"It's my boss, he needs to talk to me, I'll keep you posted."

"It's better not to make me regret it, Park. The last thing you want, its me angry and with a gun."

As soon as Jimin left, Jungkook looked at you and approached. Taehyung got the message and left the room, closing the door behind him. Jeon held your face and stroked your cheek with his thumb. You remembered the feeling of being on the verge of death, and your heart clenched at the thought that you could never feel that touch again, which made you throw yourself into his arms, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“I thought I was going to die.” You whimpered in his arms. “I thought I'd never see you again. I was so scared.”

"I would never let you die, baby. I will always protect you. You're my girl, and we're going to be together for the rest of our lives, until we're old and gray. "

"How did you find us?" You asked raising your head, looking at him now stroking your hair.

"The bartender heard the shooting outside the bar, he called me and said there was someone attacking Hoseok's car and that you were with him. We have escape routes through the city, specific streets that we go through to make it easier for other members to find us if we are in a chase. Hoseok was on the route, and I found you.”

"Thank you."

"You don’t have to thank me, love, I would do anything for you, you know that." He smiled. "What do you think about going home? You must be starving. I can ask Seokjin to make your dinner."

"Dinner? What time is it?" You asked by sticking his hand into his pocket and picking up his cell phone, seeing the date and time. You had slept for a whole day. "Oh My God, Becca's going to kill me."

"Why?"

"Because I said I'd help her with the preparations for her birthday party. We had scheduled for yesterday. She must have called me a million times. I need to go talk to her.”

"You need to rest…"

"I slept for a whole day, Jungkook. I really need to go talk to her."

"Alright, I'll take you to her and then we'll head straight home, where you're going to lie down and rest, okay?"

"Okay."

As soon as you changed clothes, taking off those hospital gowns, you picked up your cell phone and called your friend, and as soon as she answered, you pulled the phone away from her ear when she started screaming.

"Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting for you for hours at home."

"Becca, I'm sorry …"

"No, (Y/N), I want you to come here now, we have to talk."

"Alright, I'm coming to you."

"Fine, I'm waiting." And so she hung up. You sighed and got into Jungkook's car, who was looking at you curiously.

"She was really annoyed, I'd never heard her scream so angry like that, not since she told the ex-boyfriend to fuck off."

"You heard what Seokjin said, no stress."

“After what I found out about Jimin, hear Becca yell at me will be nothing.”

By the time you got to Becca's parents' house, where she used to spend the weekends, she was pacing the balcony, and she was not happy at all. When Jungkook parked the car, Becca hurried toward you and bent down on the passenger door.

"Jungkook, I need to speak to (Y/N) alone, please wait here." She asked, and Jungkook arched a brow, looking in your direction, waiting for your answer. You sighed and nodded, pulling the latch on the door as soon as your friend walked away from the car, but before leaving, Jungkook gripped his leg, making you look at him.

"If anything happens, whatever the situation, come to me."

"It's Becca's we're talking about, Jungkook, she's my best friend, she's not going to hurt me, what's got into you?"

"Promise me." He ordered without taking his eyes from his. He was serious, really worried.

"Fine, I promise."And then he let you go, letting you get out of the car. Becca was sitting on the living room sofa, waiting for you. "Look Becca, I know I was wrong to have left you waiting for hours without warning you that I would not come, but …"

"(Y/N), please, just listen." She asked, her voice calmer and you nodded, sitting down beside her. She turned to you, looking deep in your eyes. "Look, we've been friends for years, I'm closer to you than Suhee, and I'm going to be very honest with you. Since you started dating Jungkook, you've changed too much. You've moved away from us, you do not talk to us anymore, we hardly go out together. And I accepted that in a good way, because I know you love him and that after you got together, you wanted to change some things because of him. But, this is going too far. You're just disappearing from the map, making me worried. You cancel our meetings, or simply go missing for days without telling us anything and out of nowhere appears as if nothing is happening. And Jungkook. I was so shocked when Jimin told us that you had come back with him, especially after he had broke up with you on the day of your parents' death."

“Becca...”

“No, (Y/N). Just listen. That’s not fucking right. Can’t you see it? I know that you love him, but Jungkook is being toxic to you. Look, if he's doing something to you, if he's hurting you, if he's threatening you, you can talk. You can say it to me, and I promise you that we can do something.”

“What? No, Becca, he would never hurt me.” You said it in a soft voice, trying to sound calm. You moved your fringe behind your ear, revealing a small bandage on your forehead, which made the girl widen her eyes and almost jump over you.

“What the fuck is that? How the hell did you hurt your head?”

“It's nothing, I had a car accident ...”

"A car accident? And why the hell didn’t you tell me? How did this happen? When?" She asked hysterically.

“A day ago. A car passed the red light and hit my car. That’s why I couldn’t come yesterday, I was unconscious at the hospital.”

"Oh my god, (Y/N), what's happening to you? Why are you getting hurt so badly?" You just shrugged, unable to answer that question. "What about Jimin? I thought the two of you were making progress, why did you go back to Jungkook? They're totally the opposite of each other, you did not even give Jimin a chance to make you happy."

"I couldn’t deceive him that way, Becca. I'll never love anyone like I love Jungkook."

"I don’t agree with that.” She said getting up from the couch and starting to pace back and forth, nervous again. “You're young, you can fall in love over and over again, you don’t have to be stuck with this guy like he's the last man on earth."

"Why are you being like this? You've never been against my relationship with Jungkook before." You frowned, watching her.

"A friend of Suhee knows Jungkook, and told her a few things. Some things like him being violent and an ogre, I already knew, but she said that his family is involved in drugs, that his father is corrupt, that Hoseok and Yoongi are part of it, said Jungkook is a violent drug dealer and even said that she heard rumors of him killing people. And honestly, by the way he acts, through his aura, to being so cold that way, I don’t doubt that he has already hurted someone really bad and even killed someone.” Your body froze at those words. "That's why I'm worried (Y/N), because if that's true, he's very dangerous and you need to stay away from him and those guys.”

"None of this is true, Becca." You lied, getting up and standing in front of her, holding her hands. You didn’t want to lie to her, but you didn’t want to endanger her. "Jungkook and the boys never did and would never hurt me. That's just lies from someone who wants to get attention. I know you're worried, but I'm just trying to get my life back on track, I swear. And he's the one who's helping me."

"I don’t know ..." she said disbelievingly. You had to act fast, make her to get that story out of her head. You knew how she was, she was curious, if she went out asking questions, she would get in trouble.

"What do you think, then, of taking a break? Me, you and Suhee, we can travel somewhere just the three of us, and we'll catch up. We can go on Monday and we'll be back next week. No one in college will notice our absence.”

"Only if we go to the beach." She said smiling, making your heart feel relieved and the weight coming out of your back. You smiled back and hugged her. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

When you got in the car, Jungkook was leaning against the seat, staring at the ceiling. When you closed the door, he looked at you and realized that you were worried.

"Someone went to tell Suhee that you are a drug dealer and that your family is involved with drugs as well." You said it without hesitation and he frowned. "It looks like it's a girl, Suhee's friend."

"This may be Shadow's thing."

‘When were you going to tell me that your psychopathic ex girlfriend wants to kill me?"

“I wouldn't." He said honestly, making you shake your head indignantly at the lack of shame he had. "I was hoping to kill her before she did something very serious to you, but the slut always seems to be one step ahead."

You snorted and looked out of the car at the window of Becca's room where you saw her chatting excitedly on the phone. She realized that you looked at her and nodded in your direction. You forced a smile and waved it back. Only now did you realize that Shadow could do something against her as well, and you would never forgive yourself if something bad happened to your friends because of you.

"Well, you're going to have plenty of time to kill her this week, Becca, me and Suhee are going to travel for a week."

“No Fucking Way" He said by turning the ignition key of the car. "You will not get out of my sight."

"I need this, Jungkook, I need some time with my friends, and I will not let this Shadow end my life."

"Then I'll go with you." He said without taking his eyes off the street.

"No, you wont. It's a girls' week. I promised Becca. She’s suspicious of you. I need some time to get it out of her head.”

“Do you really want me to let you go around unprotected? You have no idea what this madwoman is capable of.”

“No, but you know. So you know I can not let my friends get involved in this. If they're out of town with me, they'll be safer than being here, Jungkook.” He just sighed and shook his head.

"We talk about it later."

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2018/2019 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[emilkertesz]

anything for a brother | solo

who: emil & august

what: a look back on his life!

where: good ol’ metropolis

when: 2001 - 20012

2001;

The first year into the millennium had brought about much excitement for the Kertesz family. After being an only child for nearly eleven years, Emil was finally given the gift of a younger brother; August, Faith and Samuel's second son and their second pride and joy. Just like his older brother, the baby was born healthy, little streaks of dark hair and with those same hazel eyes passed down from generation to generation. To put it simply, he was a beautiful child.

Emil remembered the way the baby felt in his arms the first time he visited his mother in the hospital, how it felt to hold something so delicate so close to his heart. Even at such a tender age himself, Emil spoke confidently to his parents of how he would always protect his younger brother. Even at a mere 11 years old, he would die if it meant August lived.

But the joyous time was shortlived. When August was six months old, the Kerteszs found themselves in a situation they had always feared; Samuel had lost his job, the factory laying him off alongside dozens of other men. The short recession in their country had hit them worst and the Kerteszs, already poor and living in one of the worst parts of town, were left with little money to pay their bills and put food on the table. Unable to provide for his family, the event took a dark turn on Samuel.

To cope with depression and stress, the man turned to the sinful bottle. But what began as a simple glass of whiskey each night turned into something much worse over the years. Something once relaxing turned into an addiction, a lifeline, almost. He couldn't survive without the copious amounts of beer, liquor and spirits in his system each night. Samuel became a drunken mess, angered and frustrated at the world for how they had treated his children, his wife and himself. Though over time it became less about his family and more about his own pride; that anger had to escape somehow.

August mostly escaped the violence of his father, Samuel looked at him as though he were invisible, and the child suffered abandonment from the man he was supposed to look up to. For Emil? He was a troublemaker at school, despite his kind heart, and he became a nuisance in his father's eyes who deserved the beatings he got. Faith? Well, she supposidly didn't work hard enough, she didn't bring in enough income, she liked seeing Samuel suffer as she supported the family by herself... that was everything he liked to scream in her face each night when he had her pressed harshly against the wall.

"You think I don't see how you look at me? You think I don't see you laughing at me? 'cause I ain't some stupid fucking lawyer or doctor? 'cause I'm just another fucking failure?!"

Emil remembered the first night he saw his father raise a hand against his mother. He had been sat in the kitchen, slurring his way through the night as he glared at his wife who simply did her best to ignore his harsh words. But that only seemed to agitate him further.

"Fucking look at me, Faith. Are you that ashamed of me? Look at me!" The man threw an empty bottle above her head so it smashed against the wall, making her let out a scream and stumble backwards, hand over her face to shield herself from the shattered glass. But the man wasn't finished; stumbling to his feet, he grabbed the woman by her wrist and slammed her against the wall.

"Samuel, stop! I'm not ashamed so just -"

Hidden behind the doorframe, Emil let out a gasp as he watched his mother tumble to the floor with a yell, hand moving to her cheek. There was blood on her face. Samuel had hit her and he didn't even care about her injury, all he cared about was feeling better than her. Taking a step forward, the tiny child moved forward with intentions of seeing if Faith was okay.

"What are you fucking looking at, huh?"

The next day, Emil went to school with a black eye.

2004;

For three years, the wife and two sons had to endure the tyranny of Samuel as their house became less of a home and more of a prison. Violence and screaming was simply a part of their daily routines, weird stares from their neighbours who offered no support was customary, and Faith had grown ever so lonely.

Despite his insistence that she was nothing but a problem, Samuel had done nothing himself to support his family. All he did was waste their little money on alcohol and sit in that stupid armchair of his all day long, lifelessly staring at the TV that didn't even sit right anymore.

School was an escape for Emil and August. They arrived as early as possible and left as late as they could. Emil would often land himself in detention simply so he could spend less time at home. But doing that often worried him. He feared for August and feared for his mother. Now fourteen, the teenager had grown to be nearly as tall as his father, and so often became the protective stance between Faith and his brother against Samuel. It didn't always work.

Faith often took as many shifts as she could to avoid her husband and keep income flowing, but it still wasn't enough. On one cold morning in September Emil and August left for school together but something didn't feel... normal. There was something slightly off in the air as they walked out of the house; Emil had noticed the look on his mother's face but hadn't thought much of it.

Returning home that evening just as it was getting dark, the teenage boy closed the door behind him and ushered his brother upstairs into his room before his father could choose something to pick on him about. August was only three and went to pre-school but he had begun to suffer his father's wrath as well. This constantly sent Emil into a state of fear.

As he pulled his coat away, the boy noticed his mother wasn't in the kitchen like she usually was at this time. She was always home before her children, making the teenager frown and slowly turn to look at his dad who was sat in that same, brown armchair, watching the football on T.V.

"... Where's mom?" The boy asked slowly, hanging his coat on the wall hooks.

"Where? The stupid bitch left."

Emil felt his heart fall into his stomach, dread trickling into his veins. "What... left for where?"

"Dunno. Just packed her shit and left. What'd I tell you, kid? She never even cared about you either."

Feeling tears well in his eyes, the teen attempted to keep himself composed, too scared to share weakness around his father but it was scary. Did she... really leave her children just like that? No goodbye, no explanation? She didn't take them with her, she left them with that monster.

"No... No, she wouldn't do that -"

"Well, she did." The old man let out a sneer, almost, dropping an empty bottle beside him. "Who you gonna go crying to now, Emil? You're just as pathetic as she was."

Messing with his hands, the teen shook his head, "I'm not pathetic. Neither is she!" He wanted his mother so bad.

"Was pathetic!" Samuel yelled, rising to his feet and instantly making his son cower back slightly. The action brought the man some sort of amusement. "Was... pathetic. Now where is she? Act like a man, you're nearly fifteen, aren't you? Grow up, stupid kid."

Emil felt his childhood slowly evaporating before his own eyes.

2008;

It had been four years since Faith had left without a single goodbye. Four whole years of pain and loneliness for the Kertesz brothers. Without their mother, Emil and August only had one another and the two had developed a bond unlike any other. Now seven, the younger brother went to school and relied on Emil for everything. Getting to school and back, his food, making sure he was bathed and clean. He adored Emil and saw him as a hero, like one of those superheroes you saw on TV saving the world from mass destruction. The child had fallen in love with those champions and saw them as the escape from his home life. He only wished he could be one too.

It was 24th December, Christmas Eve. hardly a joyous occasion in their household. There was no family, no gifts, no food, nothing. Just another day where they suffered at the hands of Samuel. But he was nowhere in sight, probably stumbling around some bar in town. The family car was never used by the father anymore, just Emil so he could get to school and work easily, and so he could drop August off at his baseball club after school. Anything to keep him happy.

Once a timid child in his home, Emil had grown taller than his father and stronger too. He'd built up tough skin over the years and joining the high school football team meant the once skinny teen now had plenty of muscle on his side and was able to fight back when his father grew angered. It meant he was always the target and August didn't suffer. And that made Emil happy. He couldn't wait to graduate, he'd leave this stupid town with his brother and never look back, gain full custody and begin working so they could have better lives. He looked forward to it wholeheartedly.

But Christmas Eve would have to be his small scape for now. Noticing how glum his younger brother was, the high school senior remembered the Christmas Eve parade they always had in central Metropolis each year. It was the largest parade in the world and those silly superheroes always seemed to visit the event. Whilst Emil thought superheroes were arrogant men pumped full of radiation, his brother adored them. So he had an idea. Their rundown town was only an hour out of the city, he could take the car and drive there now, make it in time so August could see parade he always watched on TV in person.

Wrapping his brother tightly in his coat, scarf and woolly hat, Emil for once was smiling as he carried his brother outside into their old car. They could be there and back before Samuel realised.

"Where are we going, Milly?" The child asked. Such a silly nickname but he didn't complain.

"It's a surprise, bud. It's Christmas Eve, we can't stay at home, can we? Let's go have some fun together. You're gonna love it." Watching his brother beam as him with rosy, red cheeks, he placed August in his car seat in the front and clicked his seatbelt tight. Soon, they were on the road.

The first thirty minutes of the drive were peaceful. They drove down the winding, dark roads as Emil blasted music to sing along to loudly and August played with his favourite toy - a figurine of the famed Electro Man. Something his brother had stolen for him from the store but he didn't need to know that part. It had been snowing the past couple of days so the landscape was coated with a thick layer of sparkling white. It looked perfect.

"Are we going to play in the snow?" August asked, turning to face his brother.

"No... we did that yesterday, remember?"

"It was fun!... Are we going to get a Slurpee? Can I have a blue one?" That was at times all Emil could offer his brother.

"A Slurpee? Boring! We're going somewhere really cool and we're nearly there now."

Despite caring for his brother, the teenager could still be a little reckless at times. Noticing how it was nearly eight o'clock, the guy hissed a curse word under his breath. It was starting soon and they weren't there.

"What's wrong?" August asked with a frown.

"Nothing bud, just running a little late." Without considering the icy roads, Emil pressed the gas pedal so they were soon speeding down the roads.

"Emil... Emil, you should slow down." The child frowned, the speed unsettling him a little. "It's dangerous."

Shaking his head, Emil kept going and turned to face his brother. "Come on, ain't this fun? No dad, no stupid house, we'll be there soon and I swear, buddy, you're gonna love it so mu --"

"EMIL!"

Large headlights and a loud horn. Startling the teenager, he realised he was diving headfirst into a large truck and with a cry, he turned the wheel sharply so they swerved out of the way. But what happened next felt slowed down, almost. Slow, but they could go nothing to stop it. Screeching brakes, a loud crash and smoke.

Then nothing.

...

The two boys had been thrown out of the car onto the middle of the road, bodies torn and battered from the impact of the crash. For a moment, Emil felt nothing, saw nothing, heard nothing but a ringing noise in his ears as he stared up at the sky, vision blurred. Coughing loudly, he felt the taste of iron in his mouth and he tried to regain his bearings, arm broken at his side. Then it hit him.

His brother.

"August?" He cried, struggling for air as his eyes stinging from the smoke as he tried to see where his brother was. "August, where are you? August!"

Hearing the sound of coughing, Emil turned his head to his side and found his brother not too far from him, also on the ground. But his coughing grew louder as he noticed blood seeping from the child's mouth, his bones bruised and many broken, and a large shard of glass sticking out of his torso. He was losing too much blood. He was dying.

"Emil." The boy cried loudly, sobbing from the pain, "Emil, make it stop!"

Not caring about the pain in his arm, the teenager moved himself to sit upright, and scrambled forwards, grabbing his brother so he was leaning against Emil's body. He was weak, lifeless, like a ghost, but he gripped onto his brother's coat as tight as he could, letting out cries of pain. Emil's worst fears were coming to life, remembering the day he first held his brother in his arms when he was born. Now he was in his arms again... dying? No, no this wasn't happening.

"Stay with me, buddy, alright?" The older brother stammered, choking slightly as he watching the life begin to slip from his eyes, "Don't leave me yet, Augie, I need you, okay? I need you so just stay right here." Feeling the grip loosen a little, Emil shook his head violently and began to scream for help.

"Somebody, help!" He yelled, his voice hoarse and breaking, hands trembling as he tried to stop the wounds from bleeding. No one heard.

It was then that he looked up to the sky. "I'm begging you, I'll do anything you want, please, anything at all, I'll do it." Who was he talking to? Higher powers? In the last attempt, Emil used prayer in an attempt to keep his brother alive, knowing they wouldn't be rescued in time. "Just take me instead, not him, take me! He can't die! Not him!"

Sobbing loudly as he felt his brother slip away, Emil refused to let go of August. He refused to give up hope but survival felt so unlikely. No one was coming to save them.

“This is all my fault...” The teenager rocked back and forth, his entire body shaking as his brother’s lifeless body laid limp against him. He was gone. “It’s my fault, it’s my fault, IT’S MY FAULT!”

It's not your fault, Emil.

The teenager froze, glancing around for the voice he couldn't see. Had help arrived? His brother would be saved, yes?

"Who... who's that?"

Your brother isn't lost just yet, Emil. I can keep him safe. He can live.

The voice echoed in his ears. It was cold, empty, lifeless, but offered words of comfort. "H... How? Where are you?"

Do something for me, and I can give him life.

"... Anything, anything, I'll do anything! Please!"

The voice grew louder. It was pleased. Had Emil gone insane?

Give up your soul for his and I will let him live. Work alongside me and he will get a second chance in life.

Eyes widening, Amir looked ahead to find a shadowy figure floating in the air, created by smoke and staring right at him. It was terrifying... and it wasn't real, was it? It was the loss of blood driving him insane.

"... How do I know you're real? That this isn't some sick joke?!"

Are you really going to give up the chance of saving your brother's life?

Glancing down at the child, Emil felt his throat grow tight and the air grew thick. He didn't want August dead. Eyes cautiously moved back to the figure and he let out a trembling sigh of pain.

"... I accept."

Excellent.

Before Emil could say anything else, the shadowy figure lunged towards the boy who let out a large scream, the darkness of the voice seeping its way inside his body. At that moment, a trade was made, and Emil felt the life from his body escape and his body shut down, eyes closing as he fell to the floor. August opened his eyes with a gasp for air, and his own life returned.

Emil had sold his soul to the devil.

2009;

One year on and things had changed in many ways for the Kertesz brothers. After recovering from their injuries, both August and Emil had moved on in their lives and gotten as far away from their father as possible. Having fought for custody, the teenage boys had moved out of their deadbeat town and into the city. Emil worked three jobs and August attended a better school in Metropolis. They both lived in a van the eldest son had stolen from a car sales company one evening. It wasn't much, but they were safe and happy. Well... August was happy.

The child had little memories of that night and believed his brother had saved him in the crash. Whilst he was right, the eight-year-old knew nothing of what events had occurred. Emil's life had changed forever, and it would never be the same again. The teenage boy, once full of life, had become empty and heartless, only caring for himself and his brother. Why did he feel so... lost? Cold? It was like he didn't feel a thing anymore. No pain, no sadness, anything. That's what happens when you sell your soul away. What else is left?

Though he didn't know it yet, Emil had sold his life away to be a servant to the cruel and wicked Satan himself. He was now a puppet of the Devil, who had shown mercy and had allowed the boy time to recover and start a new life with his brother. But a year had passed and it was time for Emil to uncover what his new life really meant. The new potential he had... the power he possessed.

His brother, after much begging, had been allowed to stay at a school friends for the night. Protective, especially after the crash, Emil was reluctant to accept but wanted August to have as much as a normal childhood as he possibly could. This a fresh beginning. Walking home that night through the seedy streets to find his van, the man had his hands in his hoodie pockets when a certain voice made its presence known again.

Emil, it's good to see you healthy again.

Nearly falling over from shock, the man glanced around to find no one around but him. Not again. That voice... it had returned after the night of the crash. It was... real? It wasn't a hallucination? This entire time, Emil had believed August's survival to be a miracle and the loss of blood had caused him to hear voices in his head. He was very much alive... the voice was very real.

"I thought you weren't real."

You sold your soul to me and you thought I wasn't real? You have much to learn, child. This is just the beginning of our friendship.

"... Friendship?"

Don't you remember that night? You made a deal with me. You promised to do my bidding and I would let your brother live. I can take him away again if you'd like.

"NO!" Emil cried angrily, coming to a halt. "Don't... don't touch him. I'm listening, I ready to... to help."

Good. I like this attitude of yours. As the world's current aide to Satan, I can assure you, you will lead a very interesting life.

"... S-satan?" He stammered with wide eyes. "You're... you're real?"

Of course, I am. I oversee everything that goes on in this world, but I need someone on the ground helping me with my work.

"Work?"

To make humans repent for their sins. This world is full of them, especially this pathetic city of yours. Someone needs to help me find these people, and that someone is you. In return, your brother lives, and you are gifted with powers people can only dream of. These powers will allow you to find those who need punishment, but... I will also allow you to use them to your advantage. Use them to give you and your brother the best life you can have, and I will turn a blind eye to your... methods.

"... Powers? Like those superheroes?"

Superheroes?! Don't insult m--... Fine, I suppose you could put it like that, but you, Emil, are more powerful than all of them. The strength of fifty men. The ability to conjure and control hellfire. You can see into the pasts of every human, see each and every sin they committed, and let them suffer at the hands of the reaping glare. No one survives that glare, I can assure you. That power sounds nice, doesn't it?

Staring at the ground, Emil nodded slowly. He had felt so weak and tormented by the world for so long, now it was his turn to feel powerful. That sounded fantastic.

"I... I'll do it. I'll make them all pay for what they did. And I know... just where to start."

2012;

In three years since earning his powers, Emil had done exactly as his ruler had told him to do. He had followed the rules, tracked down sinner after sinner, and made sure his brother had the best life he possibly could. Through these people he found, Emil had gotten himself wrapped up in the criminal world too... and he liked it. Having unlimited power in a world where he could do as he wished, the man had slowly risen the ranks over the years, made a name in the underground world and established a growing empire for himself that ruled the illicit world of Metropolis.

August was oblivious to it all, of course. He had been told that during one of Emil's jobs as a waiter, a businessman had taken a liking to his work ethic and offered him an internship at his business. Through that, he had created a business of his own. A delivery and chauffeur business that ran successfully in the city and brought in much income. From the outside world, that's what he made his growing empire to be, it could even be used. From the inside? The only things they delivered were drugs, weapon goods, and members of opposing factions in the area.

Life was great. He was full of riches and full of power, it was something the man revelled in so confidently. The once kind boy had become a heartless, cruel dictator who ran the criminal world with an iron fist. He felt no shame in his power, who he and who he worked for, not that anyone knew. When you found about Emil's darker side? You didn't live to tell that story.

But something didn't feel right. For years, he had made others repent for their actions, but... for once, Emil wanted personal revenge. Personal revenge against his father, Samuel, who still lived in that awful home in that awful town. Still sat in that awful chair.

He had been stood outside for some time, eyes wandering to the bedroom windows. He needed some things from the house, photos, belongings of his mother. With little hesitation, he walked over to the door and knocked. And waited. And waited. He could hear the tumbling from inside, a gruff voice of a man who stumbled over to the door and opened it slowly.

"What do you want?" Still as awful as ever. Time had treated him unwell. Time had treated Emil... perfectly. This made the son smirk softly.

"Hello, father. It's been too long."

Samuel's eyes grew with confusion as he stared up the unrecognisable man. This man... covered head to toe in tattoos, expensive clothing, a scar running down his face and an extremely muscular body... was his son?

"... Emil? What are you d-doing --" The younger male shoved the father aside so he could step through the door, heading straight for the stairs.

"This isn't a visit. I'm collecting what's mine and then I'll be on my way." Walking up quickly, he made his way into his old bedroom. Untouched, as expected. Going to the drawer by his bed, the man opened up the storage and grabbed the precious photos he kept inside. Smiling for a moment, he placed them in his pocket before heading to his parents bedroom.

"The fuck do you think you're doin --"

"Shut up! Stupid man." He hissed angrily, heading inside and finding the remains of his mother's items still scattered around. Without thinking, he grabbed her old ruby necklace, her bottle of perfume, and the cardigan she always wore and liked to wrap Emil in when he was a child. All warm memories. Placing everything into a duffle bag, he headed back downstairs and placed the bag outside the door.

Then he looked back at his father. "You look awful."

"Is this really all you wanted, Emil? Some stupid photos and a necklace? Or have you come back to laugh at your old man."

Placing his hands behind his back, Emil tilted his head slowly and smirked, "Honestly? Both. I came to see what you were doing these days. Nice to know you're still a deadbeat fool like you always were."

The man stumbled towards him, raising his fist like he always did when his son was young. This time, things were different. Grabbing his father's hand, he forcibly moved back to the side with ease, hearing a cracking noise as the old man let out a cry of pain.

"Does that hurt? Awh." Emil was quite a sadist at times, watching his father suffer brought him immense joy. "Don't worry, this pain will be over in no time, I can assure you that." Stepping forward, the son stared the man dead in his eyes as his own turned a fiery golden, deep with a glare. The repenting stare, something everyone would fear. It caused the sinner to feel every ounce of pain they had ever caused on another person, cause them to relive every horror they had committed in the past.

Emil watched with glee as his father cowered in fear but couldn't escape his grip, being forced to feel the pain of all the times he'd heard his sons, his wife, relive each moment. But then... Emil saw something he didn't recognise. A memory he never knew existed;

...

"What are you doing, Faith?"

It was Samuel, younger, stood in his bedroom. Faith was there too, three small suitcases in front of her. One belonging to her, the others belonging to her sons. She had been packing her things away in them, as well as August and Emil's, all of their belongings. Where was she going?

She looked up at Samuel in horror, growing tense and stepping back.

"Nothing. I... I'm just reorganising our clothes. It really needed it so I--"

"You were going to leave me, were you? Take the kids and go, right?"

"What? No... I--"

"Don't lie to me, Faith. Don't. Fucking. Lie." He had been watching her for some time. He held something in his hand... a belt. He began to move closer to her.

"Sammy... Samuel, what are you doing?" She stammered, eyes fearful and voice timid. "Put... put that down, I swear, put it down or --"

The boys were at school so they never heard their mothers screams. Never heard their father choke the life out of her so heartlessly, like he hadn't fallen in love with her all those years ago. If I can't have you, no one can! Was all he had said. Faith had never abandoned her children. She never would. Samuel had killed her in anger and rage, buried her lifeless body in the forests in town. And Emil had never known.

...

Breaking apart from the stare, Emil said nothing. He simply looked ahead as he processed what he had witnessed. His mother was dead... this entire time. She wasn't halfway across the country with a new husband, new kids. She was dead, six feet under in some random forest no one cared about. No one had ever cared about her except for him.

"You killed her."

"Emil..."

"You... you took her away from and you DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT! YOU TORE THE LIFE OUT OF HER LIKE SOME ANIMAL AND YOU STILL DON'T CARE!" He roared at the top of his voice, pacing back and forth as his temper was on the brink of exploding, his eyes still full of fire.

Teeth gritted, hands clenched, the man let out loud breaths and as smoke rose from his shoulders. "You're fucking dead, you understand?... YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD!"

Never had the man felt so angry in his life. But at this point, it wasn't anger anymore. It was pure instinct. Nothing humane was left in him anymore. Before Samuel could act, he watched as his son almost... burned away, his body replaced by some sort of fire demon that towered over him, covered in flames with horns and talons. It was terrifying. Emil had never accessed this kind of power in his life, yet, and he didn't understand what it was, but he didn't care. He relished in it and allowed the demon to take over.

Samuel's death was marked as an accidental fire started by the pit in his home. No one knew that in reality? A fiery demon full of rage had burned the man until nothing about a man remained, and in a roar had allowed the house to become engulfed by deep flames and smoke, burning it to the ground. No one would miss Samuel but no one understood. Why was this fire so powerful? Had someone started it?

Not someone, but a thing. For nothing human remained inside Emil anymore.

[nochuobsessed]

Bite Me || Pt 14

Bite Me Masterlist

Word Count: 3.5

Groups: BTS, Got7, NCT, Twice, Red Velvet

Au: Supernatural

Pairing: Werewolf!Yoongi x Vampire!Reader

Genre: Angst | Fluff | Smut | Au

Warnings: Gore, Smut, Supernatural Creatures, Hospital

“Lay her down!”

“Where?”

“The table, I need a flat surface.”

“The babies are distressed, we need to act fast.”

Yoongi was panicking. Wendy had arrived moments after he did, sending that something was wrong with you and the twins. Viviliana had arrived quickly, Mark trying to help her out to the best of his abilities. Yoongi felt helpless, watching as everyone did what they could to help. He sat on the floor, holding his knees to his chest, shaking whilst never taking his eyes off your unconscious form.

Bambam and Jungkook helped carry you onto the table, Yugyeom quickly clearing it, discarding the items onto the floor without a second thought. Viviliana set down her bag, getting out her equipment. Viviliana did basic checks on your body, going to check for pulse before realizing you don’t have one. She carefully placed her hands on your bump, wincing at the strong pair of kicks the twins had unleashed. She carefully lifted up your dress, gasping in shock at the state of your stomach.

The skin was basically translucent, each and every vein visible to the naked eye. Bruises scattered the bump, some red and purple, others a deep brown.

“Yoongi, how long has she been like this?”

Yoongi calmed his breathing so he could speak, “She, she had been tired all day, and dizzy. We got out of the car, and she vomited blood everywhere and passed out.”

“But the bruises?”

Yoongi nodded, “The start of this week. I think the full moon was effecting them, I-I’m not sure.”

Viv nodded, taking your hand and squeezing it, “Y/N, if you can hear me, I need you to squeeze my hand. Can you do that for me?”

There was no response. Viviliana looked around at everyone, “We need to take her to a hospital. I’m not sure what we can do from here. She needs more blood, nasogastric tubing to get the blood in her. The babies could be harmed. They’re only half vampire, the werewolf side is rather prominent. They’re weak, and Y/N is suffering.”

Everyone looked to Yoongi. He had zoned out, his heart beating dangerously high as he heard of what could happen. His heart ached for you, for you to wake up and be okay.

Irene went to approach him, but Bambam beat her to it, his blue hair, which had outgrown by now, still standing out prominently.

He knelt down, placing his hands on his Alpha’s shoulders, shaking him abruptly, “Hyung! Now is not the time! Noona needs you, the babies need you! Stop staring into space and help!”

Bambam pulled him to his feet, and Yoongi took a deep breath in, before nodding, offering a small thank you as he raced to your side, “What hospital?”

Viv thought for a moment, “The same one you went to to see me. I can get her a private room.”

Yoongi scooped you into his arms, his heart breaking as your head rolled back, your lifeless body freezing cold against his, “Let’s go.”

Yoongi got into to the back of the packs Land Rover, Irene driving with Jungkook in the passengers seat. Yoongi brushed your hair out of your face, holding you close, “You’ll be okay baby, I promise.”

-

The pack arrived at the hospital, the humans in the waiting room astonished at the large group being escorted straight into a room. Mark and Viviliana had arrived faster, going straight to organize the room.

Yoongi placed you down on the hospital bed, before being pulled aside by Wendy, “I have to tell you something.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, “What is it?”

“I let Namjoon wake up,” Wendy confessed, “He passed my test, he’s making amends and he’s planning to fix things with Y/N. But he wants to meet up with you first.”

“Me?”

Wendy nodded, “Y/N is in your care. He wants to apologize and ask for forgiveness, and for permission to see her.

“She’s not my property, she’s her own person. Jesus is he from another century or some shit?”

“Technically, yes,” Wendy said, before getting back on track, “He thinks, and I agree, that he should try to talk to you before talking to Y/N.”

Yoongi sighed, “I’ll do it.” He stopped for a moment, scratching the back of his head before looking around awkwardly, “Can you- tell him about what’s happening? He’s still her brother, he deserves to know.”

Wendy smiled, “Of course. Thank you, Yoongi, really.”

Yoongi nodded, before returning back to you. Viviliana was currently trying to insert the nasogastric tube, finding it difficult as you weren’t awake and able to swallow to make sure it went down the right tube.

“You can use magic, Jagiya,” Mark reassured her, gently rubbing her arm. She shook her head, before giving in.

She guided the tube with a simple spell, finally able to secure the smaller tube, “Done.”

A nurse entered the room with a case filled with blood bags, dropping them off and then leaving straight away. She passed Bambam and Yugyeom, who had only just arrived.

Yoongi stood to the side, finding it hard to see you in such a condition. If worse came to worse, and he had to choose between you or the twins, he would choose you. But he knew that you would choose the twins. He also knew it would never come to that, but the thought lingered in his mind.

Bambam placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a bittersweet smile, “It’s going to be fine Hyung. Viviliana-Noona has it handled. We have magic on our side, not to mention that Y/N-noona is a vampire that cannot die, and the twins are-“

“Half vampire, I know,” Yoongi interrupted, crossing his arms, “They’re weak. They’re only three months along. What if she has to give birth now? Sure they’re about 6 months in human development, but that’s still very premature. They’re only small, so small-“

“Yoongi,” Viviliana cut him off, offering him a small smile, “It’ll be okay. She’s safe now. We can help her.”

The alpha nodded, sitting down on the couch next to Jungkook, as Bambam and Yugyeom followed. Jungkook looked sympathetically to his alpha, bowing his head in respect.

“Hyung, does it hurt?”

“Seeing her in pain, not knowing what’s wrong and if I could have prevented it? Yeah, it fucking hurts,” Yoongi answered, scoffing as he pulled out his phone, checking the time, “You’ll understand when you find your mate. All of a sudden, he or she is your whole world. I would die for her, though she’d never let me. I can’t- live without her.”

“I want to find my mate,” Jungkook confessed, “I just wish it was easier. Feeling their pain, your heart breaking for them, it doesn’t sound very fun.”

Yoongi shrugged, looking to the younger wolf, “It’s hard at times like these. But when you wake up in the morning, and she’s asleep in your arms, protected and safe with a peaceful look on her sleeping face, it’s all worth it.”

-

The water was cold where Taehyung was. He knew he was still out there. He knew he needed to find him. How he had survived? He would never know. Taehyung wanted to end him, to make him feel the pain he had felt for over 200 years. Only then would he return to his beloved Jimin.

Word had been circulating through the siren infested waters, that an old pirate had returned to his siren hunting ways. Taehyung knew it had to be Youngjae. From what he could remember, his ex-lover was very much human. However, he himself was a human too back then, and many things had changed. He went from being a captive on the ship, to charming the Captain, to falling in love, and being killed. Perhaps it was his destiny to become a siren.

“Taehyung?”

He turned around, his eyes meeting a young siren, “You’re Jeongyeon, right?”

The young girl smiled, “I got your message. About Youngjae. I have the information you need.”

Taehyung sighed, bubbles forming in the water. He could tell she was quite younger, definitely not being over the age of 50. Sirens didn’t age, so she could really be anything, but her child-like innocence with a hint of maturity made him think otherwise.

“Shall we?”

They began to swim together, Jeongyeon taking a moment before speaking, “You were with him, in the Victorian age.”

“I was,” Taehyung said, digging his nails into his palm, “I thought he- you know.”

“Don’t feel disheartened, you weren’t the only victim,” Jeongyeon comforted the older siren, “I’m sure you’re aware by now that the ship you were on had many victims like that. However when you overtook the ship and killed everyone, he survived. We think he was turned.”

“Turned? Into what?”

“A vampire, of some kind. Something immortal,” She confesses, “He, doesn’t drink blood. The council’s assured that. He aged, slightly, but not since forever ago.” She stops the motions in her tail, turning to Taehyung with a scared look, “He’s hunting sirens. He’s kill at least 500 in the past two years. If that doesn’t scare you away from whatever mission you’re on, nothing will.”

Taehyung shook his head, “Youngjae is supposed to be dead at my hands. That’s the only way I can get rid of the attachment to him. Then I can be with Jimin. He’s a werewolf, I’m his mate. I could kill him by being away from him for so long, but I need Youngjae to be dead.”

Jeongyeon nodded in understanding, “I get it. But Youngjae isn’t human anymore. He was vile, and an evil creature before he stepped foot into our world. Taehyung, I urge you to be careful.”

Taehyungs mind drifted to Jimin. The few times they had been intimate together were amazing. A full moon, Jimin had taken a potion that stopped him from turning, so that Taehyung could turn human for the night. Taehyung loved Jimin, in one way or another. But he couldn’t be with him fully knowing that the siren attachment to the man that caused his death was still there.

“All this time I thought I couldn’t love,” Taehyung said, smiling sadly, “But it was just a siren thing. I was cruel to him, I said I couldn’t love. But I can, and I do.”

“And once you kill Youngjae it’ll all be over?”

“Yes, I can go back to Jimin, and we can be happy.”

-

The next day had passed, and you were still unconscious. Yoongi had fallen asleep on the couch next to your bed, never letting go of your fragile hand. Blood was constantly being pumped into you, hoping to sustain you and the twins.

The others had gone home, Yoongi insisting that they didn’t need to wait with him. Mark and Viv stayed nonetheless, helping out with anything they could.

“Yoongi?”

The werewolf shifted in his seat, opening his eyes slowly, before jumping up and realizing they were still in hospital. Irene stood in front of him, a picnic basket in hand, “I bought food.”

They sat at the small table in the room, eating the sandwiches the maknae’s had made. Yoongi was grateful, he didn’t care about himself at that moment. His focus was on you and the babies.

“Staring at her isn’t going to wake her up, you know?” Irene said, smiling sadly to her alpha, “She’ll wake up, you know that. You still need to look after yourself. She would kill you if she woke up to see you sick.”

“I know,” Yoongi said, finishing off a sandwich, and starting to eat another, “It’s just hard.”

Irene bent down, getting out a folder from the basket, “Momo and Yeri came around, we decided it would be a good idea to plan more of the baby shower. Would you like to have a look?”

Yoongi nodded, taking the purple folder from Irene, a flipping to the first few pages, “Our house is almost done, I payed double so that it would be the top priority.”

“Only you would do that,” Irene teased, before pointing something out on Yoongi’s current page, “A blood punch bowl, except we have blood donors constantly… donating.”

“If it keeps her side of the family happy, then sure,” Yoongi said, a shiver going up his spine, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the fact that my mate drinks blood.”

“Just like how she’s probably not going to get used to you turning into to a fluffy wolf once a month,” Irene fired back, winking at the Alpha.

“-Yoongi?”

Both heads turned to your direction, your eyes slightly parted as you tried to make sense of everything. Yoongi ran to your side, taking your hands in his as he kissed your forehead, his lips lingering.

“I’ll go find Viv,” Irene said, bowing and giving the two of you some privacy.

Your head was pounding, and you felt full. You had no thirst for blood, but as you raised your hand to your face you felt the tube, nodding in understanding. Your hand had IV’s inserted into it too, and you laid your head back down on the pillow, “I’m in hospital?” You asked quietly, snuggling your head into Yoongi’s hand. He nodded, moving your hair out of the way of your eyes. “The babies?”

“They’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” Yoongi said, resting his head on your chest, “Baby, I was so scared.”

You played with his hair until Viviliana came, smiling at you as she came over, “Good to see you’re awake. You’re safe, you’re going to be fine. What do you remember?”

“I remember vomiting when I got out of the car,” You said, thinking hard, “Yoongi caught me, and that’s it.”

“Good, no memory problems,” Viv said, ticking something off her clipboard, “We tubed you, so that both you and the babies can get the needed amount of blood.”

You nodded, your hand subconsciously moving to your bump, only to find Yoongi’s hand had beaten you. You placed your hand over his, lacing your fingers together.

“We did an ultrasound last night. They’re both underdeveloped for a werewolf pregnancy, with the girl quite smaller than the boy. They’re going to be fine, but we need to do a few things to ensure that.”

“I’ll do anything,” You said quickly, looking to Yoongi, “We’ll do anything, to make sure they’re okay.”

“And to make sure that you’re okay,” Yoongi added, “Just because you’re immortal doesn’t mean you can overlook your own problems. You’re just as important as they are.”

“I don’t care about myself, I will happily risk my health for them,” You cut in, before Viv cleared her throat.

“So,” She trailed off, smiling awkwardly, “You’re going to be tubed for a while. I’ll teach you everything, it’ll be fine. You can’t get enough blood from blood bags, you need to be constantly fed until the three of you are sustainable.”

“Anything else we need to do?” Yoongi asked, looking to Viv expectantly.

Viv took in a sharp, breath, biting her lip before speaking, “I spoke to one of our consultant psychologists. I explained everything, without the supernatural bits, and we both think that you guys should leave Seoul for a while.”

“What?” You and Yoongi both said, furrowing your eyebrows as he scoffed, “Leave?”

“The babies are distressed, Y/N’s body is too. With all of the drama with your brother, and many other things, we think now would be a good time to get away for a few weeks. You still have to go through another two months of your pregnancy, you should take this chance.”

“Where would we go?” You asked, looking to Yoongi. He thought for a moment, before nodding.

“Daegu.”

“Daegu?”

“I was thinking of organizing a trip for us anyway,” Yoongi confessed, “I can show you where I grew up, maybe meet my mother.”

“I thought your family banished you?” You asked, “I mean, I want to go, I just don’t want it to be stressful for you.”

Yoongi looked up at the ceiling, sighing deeply, “My mother has been begging for me to visit,” The alpha said, “She said my brother wants to fix things.”

You agreed straight away, “Yoongi, if I had the opportunity to fix things with my brother, I would. You should take this chance.”

Yoongi froze, not sure whether or not to mention the fact that Namjoon was better, “Alright,” Yoongi said, “We’ll go to Daegu. When should we leave?”

“Soon,” Viv said, “I suggest 2 weeks. Relax, spend time together, don’t think about us. Everyone will be fine.”

Yoongi got out his phone, a minute later holding it up, “I can get tickets for us to leave tonight. Private plane, just us.”

“Perfect,” Viv said, “I’ll explain to you how to use the feeding tube, Yoongi. For now, keep her rested. I’ll ask Irene and Mark to pack bags for you.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi said, smiling softly at you, “A holiday, how… exciting?”

“I haven’t been to Daegu before,” You said, “But so quickly? Shouldn’t we have planned for a later date or-“

“Sweetheart, this will be good for you,” Yoongi said, caressing your cheek, “For us. We can be normal for a bit.”

You held on tightly to his hand, keeping it pressed against your cheek, “I’m a vampire carrying hybrid twins that has to be tube fed blood. I think this is as normal as it gets honey.”

Yoongi laughed, attempting to move his hand, but stopping when he realized how cold you were, “Want me to warm you up?”

You nodded, moving over and letting him lie in the bed next to you, gently pulling you closer, letting his warmth overtake you, “I’m sorry.”

You snuggled into him, sighing, “You’ve done nothing wrong baby.”

“I got you pregnant, this is happening because you’re pregnant with little half werewolf demons,” He said, laughing at the last part, “You’re suffering.”

“It’s worth it,” You said, looking up at him, “Knowing that in two months, we’ll get to hold our little creations in our arms, and tell them we love them. We’ll be able to raise them not be prejudiced against different species, and to be good people.”

“And how to hunt, and turn into a wolf during a full moon,” Yoongi added, and you nodded, “that too.”

“I love you, Yoongi, and I wouldn’t be doing this unless I wanted to. I want this more than anything, I know you do too.”

He raised his eyebrows, “There’s something I want more.”

“And that is?”

He chuckled, “I’ll tell you another day. I promise.”

You nodded, closing your eyes again. Yoongi’s mind went back to the rings you had tried on two days ago, how beautiful it looked on your delicate hand. He quickly grabbed his phone, sending a text to Mark, before joining you in sleeping.

-

Everything had been packed, Yoongi had been taught how to use the feeding device, and you were boarding the private plane to Daegu. Yoongi had you wrapped up in his hoodie and his sweatpants, a blanket also placed around your shoulders.

You still had the tube in, you probably would for a while. Yoongi had packed enough blood, and it was unlikely that you would run out.

You walked up the stairs to the plane, letting Yoongi guide you to your seat, taking off your sunglasses and sitting down across from you.

The last few checks were made and you took off,

“Ever been in a private jet before?”

“Nope,” You said, moving your blanket so it lay on top of you, “Never really travelled once I turned, you know?”

“Really? You’re immortal, you could go and see the world,” Yoongi chuckled, checking his phone briefly.

“You could be immortal too,” You said quietly, loud enough for his werewolf hearing to pick up.

Yoongi looked at you, “I know. And I will, for you and the babies, for as long as you’d like.”

“I live forever, Yoongs. I’m hoping you would too,” You said, trying to get comfortable in your chair, and failing to do so.

Yoongi moved his chair so that it reclined, and held his arms open for you. You carefully got up, bringing your blanket and carefully sitting in his lap, letting him push you gently so you were cuddled up to him.

He kissed your temple, breathing in your scent, “Your hair smells nice.” You hummed in response, wrapping your arms around his waist as your head laid on his chest.

“You’re warm,” You whispered back, “My warm alpha.”

Your breathing steadied, indicating you were falling asleep. Yoongi’s phone went off, surprising him as he had forgotten to turn it off.

Yoongi put his phone down, turning it off and bringing his attention back to you. You were asleep in his arms, the peaceful look on your face that he had mentioned to Jungkook clearly evident.

“This, this is what makes everything worth it.”

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Ohana: Part 4

Pairings: Negan x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff

Word Count: 3,483

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After fourteen hours, two slight meltdowns, and learning how to do an amputation on the fly through a text book, you managed to get Chris stable and patched up and get a salve on Mark’s burns. You limped down to your bed room just before dawn, fighting your tears with every step. Your whole body ached as you pushed open your bedroom door as quietly as possible but you hesitated just in the door way.

“Have you been here all night?” You asked Negan as you stepped the rest of the way into your room and closed the door behind you. He looked up from the book he was reading on your bed and nodded as he took off his black rimmed glasses.

“Well I had to learn about Ohana.” He said as he gestured to your TV with his glasses with a chuckle. “And magic carpet rides.” You huffed a laugh as you hobbled over to your dresser and grabbed a clean shirt on your way to the far side of the bed.

“She loves Lilo and Stitch.” You told him as you flopped down on the bed with a giant yawn. “I think she can quote that movie by now. Can you hand me that jar and the tube of lotion from my table?”

“How has she seen it so many times? Here, I got it.” You looked up at him and didn’t even try to fight as he peeled the sleeve off your leg and tossed it on the bed by his knees. You weakly pointed to the areas that needed the Icy Hot and leaned back against your headboard.

“Millions. I was one of those wack job, dooms-day preppers after I came home from Iraq. Built an underground bunker in my back yard, had enough food and water for me and my sister’s family, had solar panels in the back and a rain collection system… would’a lasted the four of us at least a year and a half.” You shook your head as you sat up a bit and pulled off your old shirt. “That’s the reason I got Brenna. I was babysitting when the final announcement went out; that Atlanta was shutting down and the military was stepping in. I knew that meant nothing good. So I packed up everything I could grab from my house, called and left messages with Sarah, and headed to the bunker with Brenna.” Tears welled in your eyes as Negan’s strong fingers worked magic on your sore stump.

“Brenna and I were down there for four years, five months, and 11 days before we ran out of food. And since I was unable to get any sort of radio station to come through and the news still wasn’t back up, I slipped into survival mode. I packed up some clothes and anything else I could carry, grabbed my motorcycle from my garage and stole my neighbors side car and hit the road with a four year old. I had no fucking idea what I was expecting but it damn sure wasn’t what I saw. Figured it would be like an apocalypse where everyone was just gone.” You rolled your head toward him on the headboard and shook your head.

“If I had known how bad it was I would have never left that bunker. I would have left Brenna in there and figured out a way to grow crops or searched my neighbors houses for food or figured out something down there to survive. I was fucking blindsided when we left my neighborhood but I just kept going. I showed no fear so my child would be strong and I just kept moving. I planned on trying to get back to my house but shit just kept happening. 

I was finally in a place that heading back seemed like it was finally a possibility. I had found those seeds you got in a gardening store and I knew I had planters in my garage but then my leg broke. My back up was always shitty so I figured I’d get to the prosthetics office to get the one I was supposed to get before the fall but then I found you. And this is the safest I’ve felt since I was in my bunker. And words could never be enough to thank you for that.” Negan smiled as he leaned back beside you with a small smile.

“It was my fucking pleasure, baby girl.” You both looked over at Brenna, who had herself curled into Negan’s other side on your pillow, when she stirred in her sleep. When she didn’t wake up, you yawned and stood up awkwardly to take off your dry blood covered jean shorts. “Does she know?” You looked up at him through your lashes, noticing that he was purposely being respectful and looking away from you at Brenna.

“No. She doesn’t.” You hopped once to get yourself closer to the bed and climbed onto the queen sized bed under your blankets with a big yawn. “She was only a couple months old when we went into the bunker and when Sarah never showed up… well I just took the easy way out on that one. She knows I had a sister but not that she was her birth mom.” He nodded as he pulled up his knees and got under the blankets beside you so you had more blanket as you laid down on Brenna’s pillow. “And now… I don’t know what I’d tell her.”

“If you want help figuring it out, I can help you.” A smile spread across your face as you subconsciously scooted closer to Negan’s warmth.

“Look at you. You said an entire sentence without saying fuck.” He chuckled as he grabbed his glasses.

“Shut the fuck up.” You let out a hummed laugh as you made yourself comfortable.

“Wake me up in an hour so I can check on the dumbass.”

“Sure thing, doc. Sweet dreams.” With a hum in response, you shifted so your forehead was just brushing Negan’s hip and passed out.

——

“Alright Mark. You’re all set for right now.” You said as you taped the last piece of gauze into place. You sat back and looked at him with tired eyes and a weak smile. “Now, consider this your breakfast change. I need you to come down to see me after every meal until I say other wise. Don’t touch your face and do your best to keep the bandage clean so you don’t get an infection. It could go straight to your brain and that’s just… not what we want.” Mark chuckled and nodded at you as you handed him a small cup with one Tylenol with Codeine and a regular Tylenol. “Try not to sleep on it, too. You could pull off the new skin trying to form and we don’t want that either. And if you have questions or need anything, come find me, OK?” He nodded his head as he got up off the exam table.

“Thanks a lot, doc.” You nodded at him once as you grabbed your tablet to update his chart and document the medications you gave him and treatment you used so he could pay for them with his points. You made a side note on a piece of paper to give to Negan before setting both aside to finally check on Chris. He was still asleep when you came back from your nap and you hoped for his sake, he stayed like that as you changed his bandages.

“Jesus, kid. You had one fucking job, man.” You mumbled as you carefully pulled off the tape and gauze. You set them both aside and turned your back for only a moment before all hell broke loose.

“My arm. What happened to my arm!” Chris screamed as you spun on your chair back toward him. Panic filled your soul as the kid started thrashing in pain.

“Hey whoa! Chris, calm down for me!” You screamed as you jumped to your feet… well, your left foot at least. “Hey stop!”

“My arm!” He screamed as he bashed the stump against the bedrail, easily ripping the stitches out like a knife through warm butter. Blood started gushing from his ripped open arteries, spraying you and the room with every beat of his heart. You scrambled to grab something, anything to use as a tourniquet but you couldn’t do that and stop Chris from thrashing at the same time.

“I need help in here!” You screamed as the heart rate monitor you had taken from the cancer hospital went wild above your head. You screamed, wondering why the hell his arteries and veins hadn’t curled into themselves for self preservation when the heart rate monitor flat lined.

“No! Kid, stay with me!” You screamed as you hopped one step over to start CPR but your foot slipped in the pool of blood on the floor. You hit the floor with a loud grunt and you instantly scrambled to try to get back up again. “Chris! Chris! Stay with me!” You screamed as you watched the pale limb sputter to just a drip. You swore loudly and punched the metal side of the hospital bed as all the fight to save the kid left you. You knew that even with a blood bank that you didn’t have, there was no chance for this kid to come back.

“Damn you kid!” You burst into tears and leaned your back against the exam table. You ran your hands through your blood soaked hair and sighed as you looked back up at the kid on your bed. Your eyes started to slip out of focus as you tried to figure out just how you could have gone about this differently and that was exactly how Negan and Brenna found you when they came to get you for breakfast forty-five minutes later.

“Mommy! We have apples…” You slowly glanced up just in time to see Negan yank your daughter backwards and pick her up.

“Hey, I need you to sit out here and wait for me, princess. I gotta talk to mommy.” You couldn’t hear Brenna’s response as you looked back at Chris’ pale body. “What the fuck happened?” You looked back at Negan and shook your head as he closed and locked the door behind him.

“He panicked. Negan, I tried but he wouldn’t stop thrashing and I slipped…” You burst into tears and Negan walked across the room to the bed as he pulled out his knife.

“You gotta get the damn brain.” He said as he plunged the blade into the boy’s skull. “They’ll fucking turn otherwise.” You nodded at him as he came over and pulled you into his arms. 

“I’m sorry!” You sobbed as he held your face into his shoulder and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Hey, no. You did exactly what you were fucking supposed to. That’s his mother fucking fault.” You nodded weakly and exhaustion finally started to kick in as the adrenalin wore off. You looked over at the sound of his crackling walkie. “Simon, I need you in the clinic immediately. Bring Frankie or Sherry with you.”

“I must of cut it at an angle.” You said to yourself as you looked at Chris’ lifeless body. “They should have rolled…” You shook your head as you pulled yourself out of Negan’s arms and went to wipe your tears away only to smear blood across your cheek. Negan huffed as he pulled off his ever present red scarf and used it to wipe off your face.

“Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself, baby girl. That kid knew the fucking risks and he fucking knew you were helping him. You did everything you fucking should have.” You nodded as someone knocked on the door. “Let me get Brenna settled then we’ll get you in the fucking shower so Simon’s boys can get this place cleaned the fuck up. You look like you were in a damn horror movie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy? Why’s it still raining?” Brenna asked as she stood on your desk chair so she could look out the small window in your room a little over two months after you had gotten to the Sanctuary. You glanced up from the general surgery book you were currently studying and shrugged your shoulders.

“Because the clouds have a lot of rain in them, sweetheart. That rain has to go somewhere, doesn’t it?” You smiled at her little huff as she rested her chin on her folded arms on the window sill.

“Why can’t it go somewhere else?” She grumbled as she watched the rain beat against the windows in the grey afternoon sky. You laughed and looked back at your book to do your best to memorize how to do an appendectomy just in case. You were only able to see for a few more seconds before a large flash of lightening illuminated the room and caused the lights in your room to shut off.

“Brenna stay still! Don’t move! Don’t wiggle, I’m coming!” You shouted as you threw your book on the bed next to you. You grabbed your prosthetic and threw it on with no sleeve as Brenna started to cry because of the fear in your voice. You could barely see in the darkened room as you stood up from the bed and took a step toward the door only to get plowed over as someone rushed into the room.

“Fuck! Sorry…” Negan said as you landed hard on your hip on the thankfully carpeted floor.

“Get Brenna. She’s on a chair by the window.” Your daughter whined for him through her tears as he carefully meandered around the obstacles of books and clothes on the floor that Brenna always threw all over the place no matter how many times you picked them up.

“Come here, princess. I gotcha.” You pulled off your prosthetic so you could put the sleeve on first when your room was illuminated by the light of a flashlight.

“What the hell happened?” You asked as Simon came in to help Negan get you up off the floor.

“Lightning hit the fucking solar panels. We were heading to check out the fucking damage and we heard you yell.” You sighed and nodded as the two men helped you jump over to the bed.

“Bad- word- ‘egan.” Brenna sniffled as she climbed out of Negan’s arms and into yours.

“Yea, sorry princess. That’s a bad word.” You saw Simon give Negan a sideways glance as the latter stood up straight. “Stay on the bed. I’ll grab the lantern from the clinic. So far its just this part of the building and there aren’t much of us over here.” You nodded at him and cradled Brenna close as he snatched the flashlight from Simon and the clinic keys from the bedside table. As you ran your fingers through your baby girl’s hair, you could hear Negan’s rushed footsteps mingled in with the storm raging outside. You carefully scooted back on the bed to lean against the headboard as Negan came back in with the bright, battery powered back up lantern from the clinic.

“Let me know what happens with the panels?” You asked as he set the lantern down on the bedside table. He nodded as he leaned down and gently kissed Brenna’s forehead.

“You got it. Just stay still for me.” You nodded at him as he turned on his heel and gestured for Simon to follow him. 

——

You were sitting by the window, watching the rain pound against the glass since you couldn’t see much of anything else in the dark, night sky including the stars. You had forgotten how peaceful storms could be and as you sat there, you had to actually think about the last time you had seen a storm like this. It had to have been at least five years. A gentle knocking on your door caused you to turn in your chair.

“It’s open.” You said loud enough for whoever was seeking entrance to hear but not loud enough to wake up Brenna. You smiled as Negan stuck his head in the door and looked for you on the bed with a flashlight. “Window.” He smirked as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Thought I told your ass to stay on the fucking bed.” You nodded at him as you leaned your arm on the window frame.

“I wanted to watch the rain.” He nodded as he turned on the lantern on the table and shut off the flashlight. “It’s so peaceful, don’t you… hey, what are you going?” He smirked again as he pulled out a small pile of sleep clothes from under your bed. 

“Brenna and I have fucking slumber parties when you’re at fucking work. Shut up.” You giggled as you turned around to look out the window so he had some privacy to change out of his soaking wet clothes.

“So what happened with the solar panels?” You inquired as you watched a small bolt of lightening light up the sky. You heard your guest sigh as he tossed his wet clothes toward your bathroom.

“We lost fucking two of them. Fried to shit. But two out of fucking thirty ain’t that fucking bad.” You startled a bit as he came over and gently touched your right thigh to get your attention. “Get up.” You nodded as you got up and he took the chair. “We spent the rest of the fucking day covering that shit up with fucking tarps.” You whistled as he put his hands on your hips and pulled you back down onto his thighs. “It’s just another fucking pain in the ass for me to have to move people around to give them power…”

“You know we can get more solar panels, right?” You asked as you situated yourself comfortably on his lap so you were looking out the window. “I have eight of them at my old house in the garage. I doubt they were something that got raided in the past year.”

“Well fuck me, sweetheart. You continue to became the most valuable person in this fucking place.” You smiled and leaned into his chest as he put his hand on your hip. The two of you sat and watched the rain for a few minutes before you huffed a laugh.

“Do you know this is the first time you’re having a real sleep over with me, too.” You felt Negan’s chuckle against your shoulder as he wrapped his other arm around your middle and laced his fingers together on your hip.

“I like your fucking company. So much more enlightening than the time I spend with my fucking wives. Plus, Brenna calls me the fucking King. And my fucking ego loves that shit.” You couldn’t help put giggle as you poked his stomach and laid your head on his shoulder.

“Let the record show I am absolutely not joining you and your sister wives, thank you.” You could almost hear his eyes roll as he tightened his arms around you.

“I honestly wouldn’t fucking want you too. Those bitches are with me because of what I can fucking give them. You spend time with me because you actually fucking want to. Big fucking difference.” You nodded against his shoulder as you both watched a flash of lightening streak across the sky. You both jumped a bit as a loud clap of thunder rattled the windows violently.

“Mommy!” You pulled yourself from Negan’s arms and he instantly lifted you up and carried you over to the bed.

“Hey, it’s OK, sweetheart.” You soothed as you got into bed and pulled Brenna into your arms. “Did the thunder scare you?” She nodded against your chest as Negan got into bed behind her.

“You know what my mom used to tell me?” He asked as he pulled up the blankets over the three of you. Brenna shook her head as she rolled onto her back and looked over at him. He smiled down at her as he propped his head up on his hand. “She told me that the reason we had thunder was because the angels in heaven were bowling. So, when you get really, really scared, just remember that your Aunt Sarah and Uncle Mike are up in heaven bowling, OK?” She nodded as she gripped the blanket tight and held it up to her chin. Negan smirked and reached out to boop her nose as you tucked her Stitch stuffed animal beside her. 

“How ‘bout Negan and I stay here all night to protect you?” You asked as you laid down on the pillow next to her. 

“Like Ohana?” You glanced up at Negan, who didn’t hesitate with his nod.

“Yea, princess. Like Ohana.”

Part 5

[nikky-the-writer]

More than friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Hvitserk x Reader, Ivar x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you all for comments and messages, you are too nice to me!!!

Summary: AU

Reader and Hvitserk are friends with benefits and they are both alright with that, but things will start to change when Ivar moves in with them.

Warning: nsfw, cursing, talking about sexual assault and more sad stuff....

It’s been three days since your fight with Ivar. You haven’t seen him since then. The reason for that is that you didn’t really leave your room, taking a few days off. Hvitserk tried to talk to you, but it ended up with you kicking him out of the room. He slept on the couch, he didn’t complain about it, but he did complain about you and Ivar to the only person that he thought could help. That is why you had to force yourself out of your room to see Floki. He and you were the only people to whom Ivar could confide.

Floki was leaning on the counter watching as you slowly drag your body to him. Your feet wouldn't listen to you to go faster. He was amused by your behavior. ˝You know...˝, Floki moved closer to you. ˝If you wanted to see me you could've called and not piss of Ivar.˝ ˝Yeah I could, but it's funnier this way.˝ Floki pulled you in his arms and you quickly moved your arms around his waist holding him close. He was like an uncle to you, you could even say that he was more of a father to you than your actual father. He always took care of you kids, teaching you stuff and playing with you. Although he didn't show it now, you knew that he was hurt that you almost never call him. ˝Why are you torturing that bastard?˝, Floki asked. He was smiling while pulling away. His eyes wander all around your face to see how you changed. ˝He started it!˝ ˝Seriously, what happened?˝, Floki took your hand in his guiding you to the couch. ˝You didn't talk to him?˝, you moved your legs on the glass table in front of you. You were avoiding Flokis' eyes just staring at your fuzzy socks. ˝I thought that it would be better if I talk to you first. You know his temper, it's easier to talk to you.˝ ˝Yeah˝, you placed your hands in your lap. ˝Well, about what do you want to talk? I have nothing to say. He was the one who got mad, not me.˝ ˝Really? Why were you avoiding him since then?˝, Floki asked placing his legs beside yours. ˝Can we talk about something else? ˝, you asked finally looking at him. ˝Mhm.˝ ˝Did you help him with his legs?˝ Floki shifted uncomfortably in his seat. ˝Yeah, but it wasn't my idea.˝ ˝Than whose? I know that he wouldn't do it without the reason.˝, you pressed your lips in a thin line waiting for his answer. ˝He had a reason.˝, Floki said staring at you. You just looked at him with your eyebrows raised hoping that he will continue. ˝You, Y/N.˝ ˝But I was already gone.˝, your voice was a pitch higher and your hands shake a little.

˝He convinced himself that if he was normal you would come back.˝ ˝He is normal.˝ Floki shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say on that. He loved Ivar like he was his own son, but sometimes it angered him that he couldn’t accept his legs. ˝Floki..˝, you began silently. ˝ Is he aware that I didn’t leave from all of you because of him?˝ ˝I’m not sure, but I know that he blames himself for it. Why didn’t you tell him?˝ You looked back down ashamed. ˝Don’t do that Y/N, what happened wasn’t your fault, but all after it, was. You pushed everyone away except Hvisterk. Ivar loves you even more than him.˝ ˝If you would know how I feel every day because of what happened you wouldn’t be here. You don’t have any right on telling me what to do. You did help me and I’m grateful for it, but don’t preach me!˝, by now you were already standing screaming in his face. Taking deep breaths you tried to calm down. Floki took your hands in his. ˝I ….They left me. You know it. My parents couldn’t look at me like it was my fault. Was it?˝ ˝No, no, of course, it wasn’t.˝ Floki pulled you in his arms holding you tighter than ever. After all this time you still blamed yourself. ˝Look at me! It wasn’t your fault. It’s the fault of those who raped you, alright. Not yours.˝ Your face was red from crying and your eyes were sore. If Floki didn’t hold you, you would probably collapse on the floor. ˝It has to be me.˝ ˝No! We went through this when you came from the hospital. It wasn’t you, alright?˝ ˝Yeah..˝, you nodded, but he didn't believe you. One night destroyed your life. You carried so many scars on your heart and some on your skin. They were reminders from which you couldn’t escape. The only thing that helped you to get through it was your friendship with Hvitserk. ˝He can’t find out.˝, you whispered not letting go of Floki. ˝Would it be that bad if he does?˝ ˝I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eyes.˝ Pulling away you took a box of tissues from the shelf sniffling. ˝But now you don’t even talk to him.˝ ˝I know, but he can’t know.˝, you were persistent. ˝But Hvitserk does.˝, Floki was having troubles to understand you. ˝Hvitserk was one who found me. He helped me survive it. He was my rock and Ivar he...˝, you stopped throwing another tissue into the trash can. ˝He would see me as used. Like I’m damaged.˝ ˝You are underestimating him.˝, Floki moved fallen strands of your hair behind your ear so that he could see your face. ˝I’m not. Can’t you see what I see? Just look at his legs, he thinks that he is useless and damaged because of them. What would he think about me then? I maybe lost him as a friend, but he still sees me as a person, not a used toy.˝ ˝Is that what you are to Hvitserk, a toy?˝ Floki caught you off gourd by his question. It did surprise you at first, but the answer came straight from your heart. ˝He makes me feel loved. Only with him, I feel cherished, like I'm a human being. I can’t even go to the bar alone, afraid of being in the room with so many guys. I’m only safe with him. I can deal with Ivars’ temper, but not with his pity or anybody else.˝ ˝Y/N, as I’ve seen through all these years you were dealing with what happened better than anybody else would and for that, I know that your heart is paying price. You should understand that you don’t have to be tough from outside in front of your family, you should let them help you.˝ ˝My family...˝, you murmured. ˝I’m not talking about your parents, but about Ivar and his brothers. I would really want you to talk with him, but I will support you with any decision that you make. But before that I want you to think about this six years, about your sacrifices.˝ In the middle of his speech, you leaned against the wall lowering your body to the ground with tears in your eyes. Telling someone what happened to you was reliving it all over again and you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to go through it again.

˝Why did you do it?˝, Ivar asked Hvitserk as they both sat on Ivars bed leaned on the headboard. ˝What exactly, brother? You’ve been accusing me of a lot of things lately.˝, Hvitserk took the photo from the night stand that he didn’t move to your bedroom. He thought that Ivar wouldn’t mind it. It was a picture taken a month before you left. Ragnar took you all to the Disneyland.  Hvitserk smiled when he remembered how you made his youngest brother laugh. He didn’t feel comfortable there with his wheelchair so you sat on his lap refusing to walk or to go to any ride that he couldn’t. All day you spent talking to Ivar and teasing him with plush toys you bought and placed in your lap. It was simpler times then for all of you, especially for you, Hvitserk and Floki who kept secrets away from everyone. He was grateful at the moment that you weren't home because he knew that at the end he and Ivar will start fighting. ˝That night when Y/N went to pick you up after prom. Why did you sleep with her?˝ Ivar kept his head low ashamed for asking that, but he had to know no matter if it breaks his heart more. ˝That’s what you think?˝, Hvitserk laughed dryly. ˝Do you want to know when was the first time I made love to her?˝ ˝Love?˝, Ivar scoffed, while anger was boiling inside him. ˝I love her Ivar. Since we were kids. I never fucked her, like you said. I loved her, with every touch I let her know that I care for her.˝ ˝I don’t really need details!˝ ˝If this will help your twisted mind, I’ll tell you. The first time we were together was four years ago and we’ve been only with each other since then. If you think that you could love her like I do, better ask yourself why she didn’t tell you why she left!˝, Hvitserk moved from the bed. ˝I know why she left!˝, Ivar said and that made Hvitserk stop suddenly. ˝She was pregnant.˝ At his words, Hvitserk turned to look Ivar. ˝Really? Is that what you tell yourself?!˝ Hvitserk yelled at him. The vein on his forehead was more visible than before. He wanted to punch him, to make him bleed. ˝You think that she left you that night to go fuck someone. If you are that sure tell me where is her baby? Tell me Ivar where you there holding her hand in the hospital?!˝, Hvitserk couldn’t stop himself from screaming at first he just wanted to talk to Ivar, but mentioning her baby, he lost it. You were pregnant, not by your fault and not for a long time. Your parents stop talking to you after you said that you are not pregnant anymore. They wanted you to give birth to that child, they even wanted you to marry one of your rapists, they said that’s what a good woman would do. Your rapists, you didn’t even know if it were three guys or two, but you know that they were never going to be behind the bars because of their parents and yours. They were in the same circles, you even think that they blamed you for what happened. ˝She was in the hospital? Why are you lying to me all the time? I’m sick of being left in the dark. I can handle the truth! I’m a cripple, but I’m not weak!˝ Ivar was breathing heavily, waiting for Hvitserk responded, but nothing could’ve prepared him for what Hvitserk said. ˝She was raped, Ivar. Basterds got her pregnant. A week after it happened she started bleeding. She was so scared and I couldn’t help her.˝, Hvitserk said through teeth. There was silence only thing that could be heard were Ivars crutches as he approached Hvitsark and sat next t him on the floor. ˝It was my fault that they were never put in prison. I found out who did that to her.˝, Hvitserk was talking quietly staring blankly. ˝Before they even arrested them, Bjorn, Ubbe and I beat the life out of them. I never told our brothers what they did to Y/N, but they helped me. When she decided to leave I had to go with her. She was my best friend and if I haven’t got drunk and called her she wouldn’t go through that horror.˝ ˝Hvitserk, I..˝ ˝I destroyed her life.˝Hvitserk closed his eyes letting his head fall on his knees.

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