#lottielee is very dear to me

[weremerricat]

lottie who cares. lottie who cares too much. lottie who has nothing but the best intentions. lottie who wants to help. lottie who tries her best. lottie who is alone. lottie who has no one she can rely on. lottie who suffers. lottie who lost laura lee. lottie who lost a girl that cared for her. lottie who lost the one person that treated her like a genuine friend and person. lottie who is on the verge of death, and would rather choose death than lose laura lee again. lottie who misses the girl she lost 25 years later. lottie who has no one that treats her like a person. lottie who has no one who asks how she’s feeling or how her day is. lottie who everyone expects so much from. lottie who, no matter how much time passes, is still a scared teenage girl. lottie who helps everyone, but has no one to help her.

[orangejinxy]

Lottieshauna and lottielee parallels in season 3 you are going to be very dear to me

[lottielee-altar]

10/10 spectacular no notes lottievan you are so dear to me (also van palmer you are so so dear to me).

(Just to add a quick ramble, which probably might not make much sense, to the lottielee dynamic as a resident lottielee truther: I think it’s very much evident that the relationship was heavier on lottie’s end, as opposed to van and lottie’s relationship where it was heavier on van’s end. It’s really accurate that laura lee believed in lottie as a vessel, but more importantly, lottie believed in laura lee as a light that gave her a sense of stability and brought her clarity. I’ve talked about it before, but while lottie was a prophet to laura lee, laura lee was a representation of solace and clarity to lottie, even though that clarity is tainted, which is why she had a vision of being with her when she was about to die. Imo that shows how intense this relationship was to lottie, especially because she started to believe in the wilderness after laura lee taught her how to believe in something. Lottielee believed in each other as something sacred and that’s what sets them apart. This is why I do believe van IS lottie’s first believer; she had faith in lottie herself. Laura lee may have had faith in lottie as a prophet, but I believe that their relationship is ultimately centered on the fact that lottie had faith because she had faith in laura lee.)

must know your thoughts on van’s whole devotion thing with lottie!! saw your other post and needed to hear more

PARKINGLOT!!!!

van and lottie’s relationship means the absolute world to me, i love writing about them.

and van’s acolyteship in general

firstly, van is the first true acolyte we see on this show. she sees something in lottie, before anybody else does. even in the first few episodes, we see her looking up to lottie, listening to what she says. van has always had a sort of emotional connection to lottie that their being stranded in the wilderness allowed to grow and become something absolutely devotional. an acolyte by definition is a server, companion, or follower to a specific person or religious figure. although some people might say laura lee, mari, or even misty were that acolyte to lottie, it’s always been van in my head. she was the first real BELIEVER of the surviving group. as far as we know, none of the surviving girls truly believed in the wilderness religion the way that van did. she’s able to sense something in lottie and connect to that, and that is what ultimately starts her descent into whatever madness she falls into in the wilderness.

to me, this relationship isn’t technically one-sided, although i think that van is on the heavier end of it. i mean, it’s the classic devotion and their devotee. we see this theme in van a lot, whether it’s in her relationship with tai, or her commitment to the good of the group. if you’ll allow me to go off on a bit of a tangent about van for a second- her birthday is july 11th (from some light googling i did), making her a cancer (LIKE ME). bottom line of the cancer zodiac is home, family, community, protection of their loved ones, which is very van and i always think of that when thinking of her relationships with other people. it’s easy for a cancer to slip into that type of devotional, one-sided dependency on other people, and i think that’s something we’re seeing with van and lottie. 

my focus when thinking or writing about this particular pairing is usually van, because there is more for me to dive into there, but let’s talk about lottie’s end for a second. first thing that comes to mind is lottie just being purely grateful for van. not grateful for the fact that van puts her on some kind of pedestal, but grateful for the fact that van believes in her. in lottie, as a person. that she cares about her, and actually hears her out instead of brushing her off like some of the others. when i say that, i mean earlier episodes of season one, like that scene where lottie gives van the deer bone and instead of calling her crazy, she takes it and she uses it. she takes lottie’s dreams into account, she believes in lottie. lottie has lived her whole life with a mental illness nobody wanted to deal with, especially her parents. not wanting to deal with her schizophrenia became just plainly not wanting to deal with her. but out here in the wilderness, van sees her, and she listens. unlike shauna, or tai, or nat, when lottie talks about the spirits of the woods and her belief in nature, van absorbs it. she takes it completely to heart. lottie can see that, and she likes the feeling of being not only seen, but understood. don’t take this to mean that i think lottie likes becoming a sort of religious figurehead to the girls- that isn’t what i’m getting at. i just mean that she is happy to have somebody understand, and for somebody to actually be interested in her ideas and not shove them aside like a problem to be solved.

quick laura lee sidebar on this note, because i can already smell the “laura lee was lottie’s first believer!” replies- not that it isn’t true in some aspects, of course, just wanted to clear up why i said it was van and not her. the way i see it, laura lee is like thee agent of god. she looks up to him, she exudes him, she looks for him everywhere and in everything. i think laura lee falls back on her faith a little with lottie in a bit of a refusal to think that lottie really just might be crazy. or maybe that thought never even crosses her mind. either way, what laura lee truly believes in is god. lottie is a vessel for him, and although she believes that lottie has having visions, those visions are sent by god. her beliefs never changed, just the outlet for them. she didn’t believe the visions were purely lottie, she believed they were a gift from higher power. i don’t really know if any of what i just said made sense, but thats my two cents on the laura lee acolyte situation. i’m also a huge lottielee truther so please nobody come at me, i love them both and i love laura lee in general. 

another quick thing before i wrap up- something i love about the lottievan relationship is that van doesn’t pressure lottie like the other girls do. she doesn’t pit lottie against nat during the lottie vs nat hunting scenes, she doesn’t twist lottie’s words or make up straight lies about her like misty does, she doesn’t use her as anything other than a person she believes in. granted, van does put her up on a pedestal like the other girls who follow her do, and she does things in her name, but she does this because of lottie’s direct influence, not gossip among the girls or propaganda, for lack of a better term. lotties influence on van in general is the cause of so many little subplots and undertones in this show. she chooses to pick cards because she can’t let lottie die. she would rather anyone else, including herself, die before her, and i think that really goes to show you the effect lottie had on van. 

anyways, here’s this for anyone who wanted to read it, and thank you so much for the ask anon!! so obsessed with these two and will definitely post more about them soon 💋

@cassioo i know you were asking about this too so i thought i’d tag!!