#lots of very traumatized people are still very kinky

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

"I am so tired of characters being written OOC during smut, it is so frustrating-"

🥰🤩😚😏

"-this man has a lot of trauma in his past so obviously he wouldn't be into anything kinky, he would only be into vanilla sex."

😑🙄😤🤢

[cherry-cola-on-ice]

Slashers with a sleepwalking s/o

AN: totally based off my personal experiences sleepwalking lol asked my friends and family what their favorite sleepwalking episode was.

Jason Voorhees 🏕

Jason is already paranoid AF about you unknowingly wandering into a trap during the day.

But the first time he comes across you in the woods at night? When you should be asleep?

He is not a happy man. Many thoughts run through his mind. Are you trying to leave him? Trying to get yourself hurt? Would you rather die then be with him?

It takes him a good while and a lot of explaining for him to understand what's happening. That your not intentionally doing this. Science shit™️

He sets up a system. Maybe a bell or two. Something loud to let him know where you are. Maybe some trip wires.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: He watched you eat a entire sleeve of saltines while standing in the shower.

Michael Myers 🎃

Michael's seen some shit. So this is nothing. All those years in Smiths Grove have prepared him for this. So you sleepwalk? Cool, his neighbor at Smiths Grove used to eat cockroachs.

That being said, the closer you're relationship grows, the more worried he becomes. What if you fall down the stairs? What if you wander into the road? What if, what if, what if??

He doesn't have the foresight to set up traps, like Jason does.

Uses his fucked up sleep schedule to his advantage and often stands over your sleeping body. Jumpscare.

Will definitely tie a bell on you while you sleep. Totally not a collar what are you saying? Don't make it kinky.

The strangest thing he's seen you do: Put all of the remotes in the refrigerator because they needed batteries.

Thomas Hewitt 🥩

Poor sweet man. You're going to give him a heart attack one of these days.

However, he's probably one of the more better prepared of the lot. His house is set up to keep people in and out. So there isn't much danger you can get into.

Unless he forgets to lock up the basement. Which has happened once. And only once. You were fairly unharmed if not a little traumatized.

Has taken to locking your bedroom door. Also installs like 10 latches. AND puts a bell on the doorknob. And maybe sometimes you.

Look, he's already scared of losing you to somebody else, he doesn't want to have to worry him losing you to you.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: Him, Monty and Hoyt sat and watched you stand in front of the sink for a hour and a half. Just standing there. Menacingly

Brahms Heelshire 🐀

Oh, poor baby is confused. Especially at the start of your situation-ship. You don't know he's there, you just think you're babysitting a doll for a sad old couple. Not their grown ass son who lives in the walls.

The first time Brahms finds you sleepwalking, he's pissed. You trying to leave him, he knows you are. But... did you just snore?? Wait, you're asleep. He feels a little better about the situation.

Until you start walking towards the stairs. Boy's never moved so fast in his life. He knows if he wakes you up it's game over. So he gives you a gentle nudge back to your room.

Now after you find about the rat man in the walls, things are different. Brahms, even in the deepest REM cycle, will never let you go. Man is a koala and you are the tree he's clinging to for dear life. It's almost impossible to escape his arms at night.

Almost makes you sleep in the walls instead of the bedroom so you're safer. Like ain't no way you're getting out of those without him waking up.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: Sat up in bed, complaining about the maracas in your mouth??? He cried.

Billy Lenz 🎄

World's worst caretaker 👑

Especially before yall start dating because, at that point in time, he's still trying to decide if he wants to kill you. He won't lie, he very briefly thought about pushing you down the stairs.

But? After you win him over? Yeah still kinda sucks ass at keeping you from hurting yourself. He'll keep you alive, mind you, just a little worse for wear.

He asked you once if he could tie you down in bed. You didn't like the look in his eyes so you declined. Billy pouted for the next three days.

TBH he might do it anyways. Look he's just trying to keep your silly little self safe, S/O. Get your mind out of the gutter. Haha, jk...unless 😏?

The strangest thing he's seen you do is eat a entire bag of gummy bears while standing outside. He joined you.

Vincent Sinclair 🖌

Another prepared king 👑

His workshop is dangerous. Upstairs is dangerous. The whole town is health code violation. And bby cannot stand the idea of you hurting yourself.

But other then the constant anxiety that you'll some how end up falling off the stairs or falling into the wax or the any other number of things his brain comes up with, he's very level-headed.

Child safety locks. He buys that shit in bulk.

But hey, gives him a excuse to hold you at night. (Vincent, they're literally your s/o)

The strangest thing he's seen you do is stand over Bo's bed, chanting tomato. Bo almost cried.

Bo Sinclair 🔧

Definition of "Look at that idiot...oh wait that's my idiot!"

Honestly, probably the worst. Not like 'let's you just walk around' worst, but more like 'Imma gonna chain you to the bed' worst.

Dude's so scared of losing you, pretty much the best thing that ever happened to him, that his willing to go to drastic matters to keep you safe.

Don't try to explain the science behind it, you'll only give him a migraine. Just let him keep you safe. K, bby?

Bo's gonna lose sleep some nights, he's that scared. No doubt you will wake up to the feeling of someone watching you. Just comfort him, ok?

Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit up in bed and start singing 'Livin La Vida Loca'

Asa Emory 🪲

Number one prepared king™️

I'm not saying he may or may not, kinda sorta perhaps placed cameras around your living situation before you two even began dating. But yeah he did.

So he knows all about the crazy shenanigans you are up to at night.

He reads the books, watching online lectures 👏all👏the👏research. You can bet your sweet ass he knows exactly how to wake you up in case of emergency.

In the same breath, despite how much he does love you, science. Prepare to be studied like a bug under a microscope.

Strangest thing he's seen you do is standing with the refrigerator doors open, telling him how much you love this show.

Norman Bates 🚿

My poor sweet innocent murder bby. He doesn't know what to do.

Yeah, keep you safe, he's got that much down. But at what cost?

The hotel looks like a a daycare center now. Baby proofing everywhere (ask him about getting locked out of the bathroom, it's funny)

Suggested a collar once as a joke, wasn't expecting you to agree. Got flustered. Dropped his cup, maybe got a bone.

Another koala sleeper, so good luck escaping his embrace. Will go as far as following you to the bathroom to make sure you're actually awake.

Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit down in a fake potted plant in the living room and talk about dinosaurs.

[ambrosia-vinca]

There's a kind of defensive attitude towards criticism re:Lucanis' romance in many corners of the fandom that I partially understand because Veilguard gets a lot of shit thrown at it, and if you enjoy something you naturally want to defend it. But this type of attitude also rubs me the wrong way when people who loved the way his romance played out say that anyone criticizing it must just not understand slow burns/not like slow burn as a genre/not understand Lucanis' character and his trauma properly/must have been expecting explicit sex scenes and a Zevran 2.0.

Maybe some people criticizing his romance don't like slow burns, or were wrongly expecting him to be a sex god, or ignore his trauma. I've seen a few. But that's not all the criticism there is.

Personally, I love slow burns, it's my favorite genre both to read and write (I'm the type of fic writer to think up 200k words enemies to lovers longfics where they've barely kissed after 100k words). I'm also the type of ace person who's not into extremely explicit sex scenes or super kinky romances (especially with male dom stuff, which I personally dislike). And lastly, I'm the type who picks the angstiest possible romance choice.

All this to say that Lucanis and his romance were theoretically made in a lab for me. Slow burn because the character doesn't trust easily and is traumatized by his past experiences and has many things he must resolve, excruciatingly slow to open up? Unexpectedly very sweet, wet, sad man with puppy eyes? Romance scenes that are caring and romantic instead of outright steamy? Perfect, right up my alley! I keep romancing Fenris in DA2 exactly for that reason because I love him dearly, and he breaks up with Hawke for 3 whole years! Still my favorite!

But the whole point of a slow burn are the steps. It's a slow burn, which means little step by little step, the relationship slowly builds to a conclusion, from tentative acquaintances who don't trust each other, to slooowly evolve into something more, and it's precisely these crumbs that make the trope enjoyable.

To me, Lucanis' romance doesn't feel like it does little steps, it feels like it skips steps. I can see the main story beats of a good slow burn, but not the crumbs that make a slow burn. I don't want him and Rook to jump each other after 2 scenes, I want to see more of the fumbling, the hesitation, the dancing around each other. No, dragon age isn't a romance game, I'm aware, but if romance is an option, and it is written to fit a specific trope, I would like it done properly. They've done slowburns and angsty before, and they were good (even Solas', and his romance is super short). I want the evolution of the relationship shown to me, not told in broad strokes and big steps, and I don't want to have to write half the romance in my head or rely on ao3.

We get nothing between the coffee date and the almost kiss, absolutely no reaction of any kind to the flirting, not even a blink. If Lucanis and Rook were capable of having an entire conversation about coffee and kisses metaphors when they barely knew each other, then I think they can flirt a bit more in the following conversations when you pick the romantic option, dance around each other, have Lucanis fumble a little more like he does with Neve when he actually registers Rook is sincerely into him. Even just a sign that he heard Rook when they pick the romantic option in the following conversations, because as it is he immediately resumes whatever he was saying. And if his lack of reaction is because he's suddenly afraid and thinks it's a bad idea, I would like it shown on his face, or as an actual noticeable pause/hesitation. It didn't look like he thought it was a bad idea at Café Pietra, unless he just thought Rook was flirting just to flirt and wasn't serious, but again, none of that is hinted at in any way.

Then there's the almost kiss that follows and is the first actually romantic moment we get after the coffee date, and suddenly Lucanis is all smooth and confident about flirting again. With nothing in between ever since *Illario voice* he got all romantic about roasts. Was he reluctant before and that's why he didn't react to Rook's flirting/caring concern? We have no idea, because while he warns Rook it's a bad idea to be attracted to him, he doesn't seem scared, more amused at their daredevil tendencies. The first time in his entire romance we get a clear indication he's afraid and won't open up for a long time is at the end of this specific scene, when he pulls away, and the way it happens is like Lucanis himself wasn't expecting his fear to overcome him. He wants, he lets himself be pulled forward, and then he suddenly gets drowned by overwhelming terror, and he pulls away.

The beginning of the romance (the date + almost kiss) reads to me as if Lucanis was trying to forget the Ossuary, letting himself flirt and feel attraction and just simply live again as if nothing happened, believing if he didn't think about his trauma and forcefully moved forward then it would stay buried, and then the Ossuary unexpectedly caught up to him, because you don't just bury things like that, it always comes back up at some point if you make no effort to actually process what happened.

And then there's nothing again for a long while. I can imagine Rook leaving space for Lucanis because they're considerate of his feelings and they can see something is deeply wrong, but still, something big and awkward happened between them! Not even one conversation where they try to gently broach the subject and Lucanis immediately clams up? What about some mentions of how awkward things suddenly are between the two? Even through party banter? We got plenty about Hawke and Fenris' situationship in DA2 after Fenris pulls away. The other companions comment on their breakup and how it's painfully obvious they're in love still, no matter what happened, and there are a few banters between Hawke and Fenris themselves. Surely things are a little tense and awkward between Rook and Lucanis as well at that point, and their friends would notice? They don't spend as much time together as they used to, Lucanis doesn't talk directly to Rook much anymore unless he has to, can't quite look them in the eye, doesn't want to stay alone in a room with them. He is still protective of them because he obviously cares very much, but can't bring himself to have an honest talk about his feelings and fears because he's still completely locked in his mind prison and would rather deal with his problems by stabbing his enemies.

Rook being lost because they haven't been inside his head yet and they're not sure if it's because of what Lucanis has been through, or if they did something wrong to get them rejected, and they're stuck because Lucanis completely refuses to open up. There are so many little things that could have been implemented to actually serve as the little steps for the slow burn. You're telling me even Emmrich or Neve, perceptive as they are, wouldn't have noticed their two friends suddenly being awkward and sad and not try to talk to Rook about it at the very least?

And then there's the mind prison where Rook gets all Lucanis' fears and insecurities explicitly told to them. Immediately followed by the scene where you lock in the relationship as he makes them dessert.

Were they in a relationship?? When did they get together? Do they get together right there in the kitchen by the sheer power of cake (ok, relatable)? You don't know! They almost kiss, things are theoretically painfully awkward between them for a while, Rook discovers the substance of his trauma, and poof. They're a couple. Yes, I know that Lucanis' love language is acts of service, but did they communicate at all at any point about what's going on between them? Surely even if Rook helping him out of his head puts him on the road to eventual recovery, it didn't suddenly erase all of Lucanis' trauma and fears and doubts.

I liked Rook calling out the subtext of what Lucanis says in that scene (“it's nothing, or not enough”/”it is, and you are”), I did think it was sweet and perceptive of them. But still, we go from attraction to pulling away to suddenly committing to a relationship with never actually discussing exactly what goes on between them. Never outright deciding they want to try something serious. There wouldn't have been much actual flirting or sincere conversations between them after the almost-kiss, for obvious reasons, so how does Lucanis know Rook hasn't moved on/isn't angry at him after all this time, considering how they didn't communicate at all afterwards and he's not exactly the best at feelings and self-confidence? He just talks as if it's a given they're attracted to him still, and only worries about not being good enough for them. I wanted crumbs of reassurance from Rook, more than what we got, because Lucanis' probable guilt is never actually tackled in any way – he had perfectly valid reasons to pull away, of course, but considering how much he blames himself for anything and everything, I'm pretty sure he would also blame himself for hurting Rook's feelings, even if they're understanding and not actually angry with him at all.

Idk. I have a lot of thoughts, especially about the middle of his romance. The last big scene we get is one of my favorites through all dragon age games, it was so sweet, but I still felt like the entire middle part of the romance lacked a lot of slow burn crumbs, and I was still hungry when I got to the end.

[drdemonprince]

Can u talk about the process of replacing your desire for unhealthy relationship dynamics that were sexually exciting with desire for explicitly negotiated kinky sex? or do I just need to wait for the essay lol

It's not actually in the piece but now that you mention it, it could make for a really strong narrative turning point.

It started by me cheating on my abusive partner with kinky people! I realized at some point during a two-year relationship in graduate school that was extremely toxic that I was so addicted to my partner because I was getting off on the control he exerted over my body and life. I wanted to get away from him, but I felt utterly dependent on how he made me feel, and he was already cheating on me...so I hopped onto OK Cupid and started flirting with some people.

It made me feel good, it made me feel like I could live on without him and build a new life for myself. I had a few fairly vanilla hookups with people at first, and it didn't do much for me, but one of those casual partners became a lifelong friend. Then a sexy, bombastic stand-up comedian who was just coming up in the local scene slid into my inbox, allured by the fact I described myself as shy. He was pushy and hyperconfident, which I liked. And when he asked me what kinks turned me on in bed, the truth came spilling out: Dom-sub.

(I wish I'd had the gall to tell him hypnosis, which had been a lifelong fetish of mine. This guy would prove to be fascinated by rare and niche kinks, but I was too ashamed of my hypnosis thing to tell anyone at that point).

The stand up comedian started domming me after that. He'd make me pay for his cab, throw me over a chair, finger me, and fuck me in the ass hard while biting my back and leaving massive welts. The sex was incredible. But he was also an egotistical 21-year-old with an active heroin addiction (he swore up and down to me that the drug 'wasn't a big deal'), and he started fucking me without a condom without my consent, which was traumatic and to this day is the reason I rarely receive anal sex. Ultimately he became controlling and jealous of my other (abusive) primary partner, and he left me, and then died of a heroin overdose after sending me a few more stray messages recounting good old times.

It was a mess. But I learned a lot about myself through this encounter, and practiced articulating what I wanted for the very first time. I was mistreated, but I also had incredibly hot sex that I still revisit in my mind's eye. I know for a fact that this stand-up comedian reviewed our own chat messages shortly before he died, and that he remembered those times fondly too. I feel bad that he died so young, and was so lost and confused, and I wish that he could have survived long enough to get better and make amends.

After that experience (and after escaping my primary abusive relationship), I got into a very safe, vanilla relationship for many years. I was too traumatized for anything else, and the gentle, passive boyfriend that I found was very healing to be with. But eventually I did get bored with the sex, and his lack of emotional availability, and became profoundly depressed. It was around this time that I started taking Sam-E , an over-the-counter anti-depressant supplement whose side effects include increased libido and a kind of dreamy headspace. On impulse, I started searching for erotic hypnosis play websites one day.

I met several hypo-kinky partners on the site I found, a now-defunct chat site called Sleepychat that would pair hypnotists with hypno-bottoms. One of them was a truly skillful, communicative, and caring partner who built a whole complex hypnotic architecture and series of safeties and triggers in my mind. We are still friends. I had lots of play with lots of people, and started attending a hypno kink convention that just so happens to occur in the Chicago suburbs. I became gradually more comfortable acknowledging my kinks to people, and made lots of hypno-kinky audio files and stories. I had other Doms and owners, and had lots of wild sex here and there. Still, my serious, long-term vanilla relationship limited me.

I only really started searching out formally kinky relationships in earnest in 2021, after ending that vanilla relationship. I've been pretty firmly embedded within a variety of kink scenes since. My taste for hypnosis led me to regular D/s, and to leather and bondage, and to pup play and furry stuff. I've really come alive in the last handful of years. I've learned so much about myself and the many scenes, met so many people, had so much great sex and so much mid sex and been in all kinds of wonderful and toxic and off putting and funny dynamics. This aspect of my life only keeps getting better, and I'm excited for lots of new experiences this year!

damn i just about gave you a full essay right here

[alter-ego-xxx]

What do you think rosestarkillerchasers (rosekillerstarchaser?) dynamics in bed would be like with eachother

I'm so sorry mom and dad

nsfw

Okay, I waited for this moment; let´s start with them individually:

Evan: Very kinky but calm. I hc him to be on the ace spectrum, so sometimes he doesn't always participate in the "real" act. He often fulfills kinks for the others. And he's a MASTER with rope!!!

Regulus: The switchiest switch of all switches. He loves to get fucked by James, but with him, he's always in control. With Barty it's a constant fighting for dominance. Also v kinky, big on verbal kinks.

Barty: THE freak. Tied up? yes. Humiliated? yes. Slapped, cut, getting hurt over all? YEAH. It's the most intense for him (in these aspects) with James tho. Barty still thinks he can dominate him, but Bambi always wins and punishes him for being a brat.

James: The most "versatile" one. Loves to take it calm and "make love" to one of them, that's usually just when it's only one of the others involved (usually not Barty). But also loves to manhandle and treat his bfs like dolls.

Overall, I think that Barty and Reg are the brats of their dynamic. James is the surprise box and Evan loves 'working' on others.

The ships in one sentence:

Jegulus: They "make love" a lot, but they're also a healthy amout of kinky.

Rosekiller: The absolute freaks, they'd traumatize many people, even those who call themselves kinky (iykyk)

Bartylus: Sometimes it's soft and lovely but most of the time it's nasty and overwhelming.

Jarty: Very much power-play, competition and humiliation.

Jevan: Gym-bros literally just manhandeling each other.

Evanreg: Either very slow and overstimulating or very rushed and needy.

I really hope this kinda makes sense, I realized that it's quite hard to put into words... and greet your parents from me :)

also, I like to call them ´rosestarkillerchaser´, in my opinion, it sounds the smoothest.

[alpaca-clouds]

Astarion's Plotline and the Thing About Consent

Let me talk about one thing I find weirdly underdiscussed in the BG3 fandom. Technically this does not only concern Astarion, but also a lot of the other romanceable options. but I see it most discussed with Astarion especially in regard of one thing.

I am not the only person who feels icky about the graveyard sex. Not becasue of the graveyard, but because of the context in which it happens. Aka: Astarion has had the hell of one day. He has confronted his trauma in so many ways, he has almost died, he managed to overcome Cazador, and he actually managed to remain himself rather than becoming Cazador. I absolutely do understand that our dear fanged friend kinda wants to celebrate his freedom by finally having sex just because he wants to have it - but I also understand that for a good chunk... Him wanting to fuck in that scene is mostly him somehow trying to cope and not having learned good coping strategies, right?

However, whenever someone in fandom brings this up, quite often someone will reply: "People who are traumatized are still able to consent, you know?"

To which I - someone with tons of trauma - will just say: "Yeah, they can, but consent is something that happens from both sides."

Now, we will leave out the meta discussion that obviously Astarion, on the basis of being a fictional character in a game, obviously has no agency in either direction, while the player does. But ignoring that and just reading the in-game situation...

Tav, Durge, or whoever of the origin characters might be on that graveyard with Astarion in that scene still also have a right to not consent to it. And yes, say: "Hey, you had a hell of a day, and I am honestly not sure whether this is good for you, and if it turned out not to be I would feel really shitty about that" is actually a valid reason to not consent to have sex with someone.

Even if Astarion does want sex in that scene. Even if it turned out to be actually the thing he needed. The other person in the scene very much still has the right to say: "I am not feeling good about this, I don't want this, at least not now."

I am not saying that your own Tav/Durge needs to not be okay with it. They can be perfectly fine with it and have their kinky graveyard sex. What I am saying is, that not everyone is feeling like that - and that their feelings are valid, too.

And it is weird how some Astarion fans react to this, too. First there is the "but he can consent", to which I will just say: "Yeah, and his partner can also say that they don't consent". And then the people will go: "But he looks so sad if you say you don't wanna have sex with him." Which... I... Folks, for once: He is fiction. But also... Even if he wasn't fictional, he would have to live with it. It is not the job of his partner to fuck him whenever he wants sex. Again: Consent matters. And consent involves at least two people.

Like, folks. I am begging you. Just consider this fact. Consent has to come from everyone.

And I can tell you that at least my Tav in that situation did not feel very comfortable with the whole situation. I mean, this is how I wrote out the scene on the graveyard in my fic version of the evening.

“I think, I’ve been dead for along enough,” Astarion finally muttered. “It’s time to try living again.” He took a deep breath, trying to sort his thoughts, his feelings. Then he took the bard’s hands, smiling at him. “With everything life has to offer.” He did not even think about it much, as he gave his voice a sultry tone, and most certainly he had not expected Tav’s reaction. But the bard twitched just a bit. “Astarion…” He seemed awkward, uncertain. “I…” Astarion was not certain if the bard understood. “I want you. I think I might…” “Stop, please,” Tav whispered. There was a tremble going through his body, and an expression in his eyes, that felt like a dagger in Astarion’s heart. He didn’t understand. What was going on. “Don’t you…” It was hard to speak those words. “Don’t you want me?” He had not intended for his voice to sound as hurt as it did in the end. A sigh. Tav pulled his hands out of Astarion’s, before cupping Astarion’s face with them. “I want you. I do. And you know it. Just not… Not now.” “What is wrong with now?” There was hurt still. And anger. Just a bit of anger over the rejection. “What is wrong with now? I am finally free. I can finally…” “Astarion…” Tav was hesitating once more, before moving in closer, pressing his forehead against Astarion’s. “You have been through a lot today. A lot.” “Yes, I know. I was there, remember?” The sarcasm was back in Astarion’s voice. He tried to pull away, but though gently, the bard held onto him. “Please, look at me,” Tav said. “Let me…” He stopped, before letting go of Astarion. “Can I show you?” Now it was Astarion’s turn to pause. He understood, of course. He understood well. “Alright.” He opened himself up to Tav’s feelings – and they were strong. Warm, consuming almost. A want. A need. Fantasies. All there. And it made Astarion understand even less. “Then why?” “Because if I sleep with you again, I want to be sure that we both are going to feel good about it the next day,” Tav said gently. “And today, I cannot be sure of that.” Those words made nothing any clearer. “I don’t understand.” “Look. Today was so much for you. And I do not even need you to show me your feelings. I can tell like this. The sadness. The pain. You feel guilty, too. About those spawn that are more or less your responsibility. About killing Cazador, too.” “Why would I feel guilty about that?” “Because no matter how much you hated and feared him, you were also dependent on him for two hundred years,” Tav said. He took Astarion’s hands again, pressing them. “And there are probably a lot of other feelings, too.” His thumbs were caressing the backs of Astarion’s hands. He gave a tiny sigh. “Look at me.” Astarion had not even quite noticed that he no longer looked the man in the eyes. But he did now. The same, familiar green eyes. “I do not even trust myself right now,” Tav said. “I know I care about you, deeply. I want you. You have no idea how much I want you. But with all the chaos right now… I do not trust myself enough to say whether this is love or just…” Once more his thumbs so gently went over Astarion’s skin. “Right now, I am mostly worried about you. Because today was a lot. And I know those days. And I know what follows.”

And... It is just something that has to be considered. I mean, I know there are people who romance Karlach but still do not sleep with her, because their character is not ready for that. And that is just the thing. Consent has to come from both sides.

In that it does also not matter whether the player is uncomfortable or whether they have just an idea how their character would feel. For the scene playing out... The romancing partner can say "I don't consent." too.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, sex witch. so, i'm an older virgin (turning 30 soon) and am going to be having sex with someone next week, but after so long it's become a very big scary thing that i've decided to deal with by having (very negotiated, very consensual) intentionally big scary kinky (cnc) sex with someone who knows what they're doing. i was chatting to my best friend about it and she thinks i'm going to really mess up what i think sex should be like and that i should re-evaluate why i want to not have to make my own choices during it (but surely i'm already making my choices here...?). i'm really concerned now that wanting it like this is just internalised misogyny and rape culture?

hi anon,

I do actually think this is a really unsafe and ill-advised idea, not because it's misogynistic or because there's anything wrong with flavor of sexual fantasy but because it's kind of like deciding to get into mountain climbing by starting out with Everest. going in elaborate, hardcore scene without having no idea how you interact with other people in the context of sex seems foolhardy at best and comes with a high potential for pretty significant physical and/or emotional damage that, yes, could be rather traumatizing.

like in the most ✨ sex positive✨ way possible it would be irresponsible not to acknowledge that sex can really freak people out. it's a lot of stimuli all at once and that can cause people to flip out or freeze up. sometimes it hurts way, way more than you thought it would. sometimes you're going to be triggered in ways that you didn't even know were a trigger for you. and that's all possible during the world's most vanilla sex! and it can still be harrowing and horrible and exhausting, and adding the stress of, in your own words, a "big scary" scene is not going to make that any more pleasant.

I'm also just broadly worried about how well you're able to knowledgeably negotiate a scene when you don't even have a working frame of reference for how you do and don't like to be intimate with other people in non-kinky sex. much like mountain climbing, probably, sex is something you get better at when you spend a lot of time refining the basics and warming up, getting to know your body and its limitations before you do the challenging stuff.

I want to be so, SO clear here that the problem is absolutely not this particular fantasy, which I think could be a lot of fun to pursue if you're still interested after gaining more sexual experience. as a starting point it makes me uuuuuh nervous. respectfully, I wouldn't recommend it, but your body is yours and you must chase your bliss as you see fit.

[gwiyeounsonyeon]

out of all the people you write for in cod watchdogs and strangerthings who is most to least kinky

COD i dont think a lot of these men would be diabolically kinky, like they see enough shit on a daily basis, i think they just want to be loved.

BUT-

Konig and Ghost are at the top of the list, they're into some weird shit konig moreso they're both into size difference stuff, like,

ghost cant get over how small you feel in his hands, it turns him on so fast. he covers up for it by teasing you or playfully being mean, bullying your cock if its smaller than his, poking fun at how wet your cunt is when he hasn't even touched you yet, stuff like that...

i also think he might be into bullying or degradation, not to him of course, if you try to bully him he gets all fussy but as soon as the tables are turned hes relentless.

konig LOVES your size difference, i wholeheartedly believe this man is a sub-leaning, he can still dom he just needs to be in the mood for it first but thats pretty rare. so if you're tiny and you can still dom someone the size of him hes head over heals swooning for you. if you top him AND dom him hes actually in love.

hes got some other nasty kinks as well, i can feel it

third place is a close tie between soap and price,

price is super into taboo stuff, it just takes a minute to unlock that side of him. he likes being called daddy and sir and LOVES roleplay

soap is an exhibitionist, you can't argue with me on this one. he pulling you to every little nook and cranny he knows of and having at it. there was one point in his life where he couldn't have sex in normal places like he just couldn't get hard at all unless there was a chance you could get caught.

Stranger Things

first place is Johnathan, youu know that saying i think its like the quiet people are always the freakiest.

hes nasty, i can feel it in my bones.

he LOVES taking photos of you and himself, he gets off on knowing you're probably jerking off to one of his pictures.

slight exhibitionist, he likes going to develop his photos in public dark rooms, the thought of someone seeing one gets him all hot and bothered.

hes kind of into cnc, as far as his photos, nothing more than taking pictures of you without you knowing you've already consented before

next in line HAS got to be eddie, theres someone i cant remember the name of who hc's him as a virgin and i whole heartedly believe it, hes had so much time to just sit and think, hes got so many filthy little fantasies and hes so pent up

he likes being edged, hes only thought about it, every time hes tried he ends up getting too desperate and making himself cum anyway, if its by accident or not.

he gets off on being called a pervert, maybe a freak but only if its in an explicitly playful way, theres a fine line and honestly its better to steer clear of degradation unless he states he wants it outright.

he likes being made to say what he wants, he likes to act confident and stuff but as soon as it comes to actually having sex hes so nervous.

i also think he really latches onto nonsexual domination, not like anything aggressive just if you nonchalantly do something that strikes as dominant in your every day life he starts getting hot and bothered like, telling him to do something "answer the phone, I'm busy" or "move i need to get over there" he likes a man who can assert himself without being overly aggressive.

steve and controversially billy have to be the most vanilla,

as much as i want to say steve is a kinky degenerate, hes not. hes a rich white boy with no parents, he probably just wants to be comforted during sex.

but that doesnt mean he wont try things you want to try, hes open to suggestions you have. the kinkiest thing hes ever initiated would probably be heavy making out along with some frottage in a public bathroom.

billy is heavily traumatized and very like self-repressive and oppressive, he hates himself for being gay and he probably won't let you touch him like that for the longest time.

WATCH DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so excited to get this one, i never get watch dogs asks but i love my babies sm

first on the list is wrench, duh. the guys a fucking degenerate, he wants to try any and everything, no matter what it is.

i think his personal favorites are choking, cameras/filming, wearing women's underwear, and exhibitionism less so in legion

he doesnt like being called or calling you daddy unironically, it gives him the ick if its done seriously.

second is probably jordi. the more i think about it the more i think he might be kinkier than wrench but jori knows what he likes whereas wrench will do anything.

jordis into objectifying, hes not really the kind of guy to turn to a sex worker, i see him as a fuck buddies guy purely because he thinks hes too old/his job is too much to have a real relationship with you but he still acts like your boyfriend and he gets possessive in the way where he stalks you and your socials for more info about that new guy you're hanging out with. he wants to be the only guy you fuck and what he wants he gets.

jordi also favorites rough sex and choking and he likes cumming inside you whether you like it or not.

hes also super into spending money on you but only when it benefits him, he'll whine and complain if you ask him to buy you a charger or something but hes all over buying you like expensive ass lingerie or something

in last place is marcus, im sorry but he doesn't give me kinky vibes, the kiniest hes ever gotten was playing the weekend and turned the leds red while you fucked

[mermaidsirennikita]

Historical fiction where one of the MC is a widow/widower?

Thanks

Oh, so many!

Elizabeth Hoyt:

The Raven Prince—Widow heroine and widower hero, she had a shitty husband and he had a wife who was disgusted by his hideous scars~ (from smallpox). One thing I like about this book is that she really isn't like... ashamed of her desires. She wants him, so she goes after him. In this case by wearing a mask and dressing up as a sex worker at his favorite brothel.

Scandalous Desires—Silence is a widow of the "my husband sucked and I'm very innocent because of Morality" persuasion... She's a Quaker, the hero is a river pirate, she's been raising his baby who he dumped at an orphanage and now he's demanding the baby back because his enemies may use her against him... So naturally, Silence goes WITH the baby. And gets seduced. And has her brains fucked out.

Thief of Shadows—Isabel is a jaded society widow who actually took lovers after her husband's death, gasp. She falls in love with virginal vigilante Winter Makepeace, who's also six years younger than her. This book has a refreshingly real approach to infertility, but beware, it is quite emotional, so if that's triggering for you maybe skip it.

Lord of Darkness—This one actually isn't one of my FAVORITE Hoyts, but a good Hoyt is still better than a lot of other people's "very good" books. The hero is a widower, the heroine is his second wife who he married due to a blackmail situation. She was pregnant by another man when they wed, and quickly miscarried, which results in them living apart for several years... Until she arrives, demanding a baby. Too bad Godric is a vigilante

Duke of Pleasure—The hero is a widower, but I'd be lying if I told you I remembered a ton about his marriage lol

Jennifer Ashley:

The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie—Beth is a widow who loved her husband, which is one reason why she actually wants to start getting FUCKED again

The Many Sins of Lord Cameron—Cameron is a widower with a teenage son. His heroine is also a widow, though she didn't particularly love her husband. Cameron's wife was abusive and the book DOES get into that. It was intense. So keep an eye out.

The Duke's Perfect Wife—Hart Mackenzie is a widower who lost his wife and infant son when she was giving birth. He didn't super love his wife (the heroine is his fiancee who dumped him, which led to him getting married to another woman—he never got over Eleanor) but he's clearly very much traumatized by the loss of her and the baby.

Rules for a Proper Governess—The hero is a widower with two children, the heroine is his new governess. He very much loved his wife and the unresolved shit surrounding her death is a plot point.

S.M. LaViolette:

Selina—The hero is a widower. He and his wife had a shitty relationship, but her death and his guilt surrounding it (they were in a HORRIBLE carriage accident, which also left him blind) is a big deal.

Aurelia—The hero was twice-widowed. Neither marriage was super great, but the second is particularly wild because the heroine DIED getting attacked by a PANTHER while FUCKING HER LOVER LMAO. I mean. I gotta give points for that.

Joss and The Countess—Alicia is twice-widowed. Her first husband was kind, but her second was SUPER abusive, physically and sexually. Nothing on the page, but it's a big part of the plot, so be aware.

The Footman—Heroine is a widow, husband was very abusive, this is on the page in her memories.

Hyacinth—I believe the hero is a widower in this one, and the marriage was Tough Times.

The Music of Love—The heroine is a widow whose husband died MYSTERIOUSLY before she goes to take a position as a much teacher that he picked up just before he died

Grace Callaway:

The Duke Who Knew Too Much—Hero is a widower, the marriage wasn't great (a lot of Callaway widower heroes have shitty dead wives, which isn't my FAVORITE trope, but I'll put up with it for her)

M is for Marquess—The hero is a widower, and his wife was of the "your mild kinkiness is ungodly and I'm gonna make it everyone's problem" variety.

Olivia and the Masked Duke—Hero is a widower, heroine got him into some bad shit, it was a bad marriage all around

Fiona and the Enigmatic Earl—Hero is a widower who's sworn off love because of his rocky first marriage, then oops he gets married lol

Pippa and the Prince of Secrets—Heroine is a widow, shitty first husband, reunites with her childhood sweetheart

Her Protector's Pleasure—The heroine is a widow whose abusive husband separated her from her daughter; she enlists the hero to help her find the kid

Lorraine Heath:

When the Duke Was Wicked—Lovingdon is a great widower hero. He actually loved his wife, he lost her and their daughter at the same time, and he's so traumatized about it that he runs around fucking anything that moves... because he'll never love again. BUT WHAT IF HE DOES???

The Earl Takes All—Julia is a widow, but she doesn't know it, because this is GORILLA TWINS! and her husband's twin brother is pretending to be him to prevent her from losing her baby

The Duchess in His Bed—The heroine is a recent widow who enlists the hero to get her pregnant after her husband dies so that she can have his heir

Between the Devil and Desire—Olivia is a recent widow, and Jack is her son's new guardian who she HATES because he's a SCOUNDREL. One of my favorite books!

Julie Anne Long:

The Perils of Pleasure—The heroine lost her husband and child, who she loved, and is traumatized by it

Lady Derring Takes a Lover—Heroine is a widow with a cheating husband who starts running a boarding house with said dead husband's mistress

After Dark with the Duke—Frosty widower hero with a grown son who falls for a scandalous opera singer

What I Did for a Duke—Hero is a bitter widower who lost both his wife and their child

Lisa Kleypas:

Lady Sophia's Lover—Ross Cannon is a widower. It's been a while, but I believe he's of the "I loved my wife and shall never love again" variety

Cold-Hearted Rake—The heroine is a recent widow whose husband did not in fact have sex with her before she died, lol

Monica McCarty:

The Viper—The hero is of the "my evil wife" variety, and the heroine is of the "my shitty husband" variety

The Chief—The hero is a widower with two sons you NEVER SEEN ON THE PAGE LOL, he's pretty frosty

The Recruit—The heroine had a shitty husband who's turned her off of marriage, which is why (among other things) she's not particularly psyched to marry the hero after he gets her pregnant lol

A Rake's Guide to Seduction by Caroline Linden—The heroine is a widow whose marriage wasn't great. She's depressed, and the hero is her brother's best friend who realized he was interested in her just before she got engaged.

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian—Kit is a widower who loved his wife and child. He falls in love with Percy, a dandy who asks him to teach him how to rob his dad lmao... The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes also has a widow heroine... but in a rather unique way

An Island Princess Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera—The is an f/f romance, one of the heroines is a widow who had a unique relationship with her husband.

The Widow's Kiss by Jane Feather—The hero is a widower and the heroine is a widow who he begins to investigate after her FOURTH husband dies lol

The Duke I Tempted by Scarlett Peckham—The hero is a widower who also, I believe, lost his son.

The Earl's Mistress by Liz Carlyle—The hero is a widower who had a difficult relationship with his wife; he has a six year old daughter. The heroine is a widow whose husband was a dick. She's very innocent because he didn't give a fuck about her pleasure, but she's not a virgin.

In Which Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti—Widower hero who's a bit kinky and a heroine who is vERY much interested in kink.

Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy—The heroine is a widow who hooks up with a guy in a random one night stand.... then it turns out that he's about to get engaged to her stepdaughter

A Lady Awakened by Cecilia Grant—The heroine is a widow who had a frigid relationship with her husband. She decides to save her financial situation by getting pregnant with his heir... even if that means enlisting a local loser. FAST.

Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid—Has a widowed heroine who enlists the fixer hero to help her find her son's missing governess

For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale—The heroine had a good, if not romantic relationship with her husband. Now she's frosty and withholding.

A Shore Thing by Joanna Lowell—The heroine is a widow whose uptight, withholding husband left her feeling like she was less than. She falls for the hero, a trans man, on a WILD BICYCLE RACE!!!! And he sure does blow her mind...

What Happens in Scotland by Jennifer McQuiston—The heroine is a widow who wakes up married to a lawyer in Scotland lol

The Harlot Countess by Joanna Shupe—The heroine is a widow who married out of necessity; now she's back in the orbit of the man she tangled with BEFORE that marriage

[ryuichirou]

Thoughts on Rollo Flamm if you havent gotten this ask yet? SFW and NSFW headcanons? Also thoughts on MallRollo?

I’ve talked about MallRollo in this reply!

We love Rollo a lot. I think his design is one of the best twst designs, I’ve spent hours staring at him. His sprites are also great, he is so delightfully cranky and evil and over-the-top, like a feisty kitten lol And at the same time, he is deeply traumatized and a huge hypocrite, but all of this only makes him better. He is a very entertaining character; I miss him a lot :(

I also really appreciate the similarities he shares with Idia, and how differently they approach their fairly similar traumas; it was great to hear Idia speak about it and try to address Rollo’s feelings, but still call him out and acknowledge that none of the horrible things Rollo’s experienced could be used as an excuse for what he’s doing right now. And what I love even more is that Idia’s speech didn’t really help and only pissed Rollo off even more, because Rollo wasn’t ready to accept that what he’s experiencing is grief, and that he is just trying to retroactively fix something that could never be fixed by blaming people who had nothing to do with his tragedy. Since the event clearly happened post-chapter 6, Idia had already found some closure about what happened to Ortho; but Rollo clearly isn’t there yet. But it’s great, because I enjoy it when he yells and curses everyone and blames everyone and especially Malleus who just wants to have a good time lol

Oh, and the fact that he is voiced by Kamiya Hiroshi is also great, although he has like 3 lines. I wish the events were voiced.

Alright, sooo a couple of headcanons. Not a lot this time, since I can’t really say much.

There are people in Rollo’s school who have a crush on him. Rollo tries to ignore that, because the prospect of someone confessing their love to him sounds overwhelming and troublesome. He would probably reject this person anyway, so no one even tries to confess to him.

One of the gargoyles was Rollo’s first kiss. They were just teasing him and playing around, but Rollo took it very seriously. Although if you asked him, he would probably say that he hasn’t kissed anyone yet. And that this is a foolish question to ask someone.

His body is obviously mature enough to experience sexual urges, his mind also wanders into this territory sometimes, but he is still bothered by it. He doesn’t want to wake up with dirty underwear and worry about getting an erection at the worst moment possible. It does happen with him though.

Not only he experiences sexual desire, he is also very kinky, despite being such a prude. It’s like a Pandora’s box for him, deep inside and subconsciously he is afraid that once he opens it, there isn’t going to be a way to close it anymore. He isn’t wrong…

He is masochistic and also someone who would actually enjoy getting overwhelmed by both pain and pleasure, because it’ll make his thoughts and feelings too numb for some time. That’s why once he opens that door, he might take things very far and be quite brutal to himself.

[adamsuniverse1144]

I’m a theorist, I have so so so many headcanons it’s ridiculous. This could also be called ‘I explain questionable theories and you get upset because I managed to keep it in universe’.

One of my headcanons I’m exploring right now is kink/*wink wink* with my book Darkest Desires 🩷💙 (Genuinely writing it has been so hard and I’m losing resolve but it’s coming along!)

Now, when you think of our cinnamon roll couple you probably don’t go to the same place I do mentally so lemme break it down:

⭐️ As a person who is throughly traumatized and hangs out around a generation almost exclusively traumatized, I can say without a doubt most of us have multiple kinks (and shady ones at that).

Resulting headcanon: Bruh come on. These two are so traumatized, especially Steven. Sure he grew up pretty innocent, but trust me, innocence is sadly (and thankfully) not forever. Of course Steven still cries at everything and loves to sing and gets excited over nothing and he’s ADORABLE but well… once he is introduced there’s no telling what the hell is going to happen but it’s bound to be interesting.

⭐️ Connie is a sci-fy nerd. It’s in her blood, she loves to read, she’s savvy and smart. They literally acted out The Familiar Unfamiliar. Connie is nothing short of a dork and we love her for that.

Resulting headcanon: Connie totally writes and/or reads fanfiction. In Dark Desires, that’s the segue into kink because on one of Connie’s tabs is a bunch of saved kinky stories.

⭐️ Steven is a giant puppy boy. He’s playful and tries to be cheerful and his puppy dog eyes are a direct attack on you specifically. He’s so so cute 🥺 Someone who possess all that strength and is yet so gentle is just super powerful to me. Like he could destroy a whole lot before anyone got close to taking him down, and yet he chooses kindness almost all of the time.

Resulting headcanon: Steven is a power switch. He’s kind of a selfish lover, and I totally 98% believe Connie accidentally becomes a pillow princess most of the time. He likes to do the work to make her feel nice, it rarely ever crosses his mind to help himself along. Her pleasure is his, so it would make sense to me that regardless of the position, Stevens the gusto. The ones you’d expect to be gentle lovers are the ones with the most bang to their buck often, and Steven is a very passionate and expressive man. That would totally translate into “snuggle time” with Connie. *exhales* Wow keeping that PG-Debatable was hard.

⭐️ Connie is finally in control of her life after picking up that sword and swearing allegiance to the Crystal Gems. She doesn’t need to wield one anymore (not really) but she’s one of the bravest and fiercest knights in Gem Culture (and how can she not be with not dying in her weak human skin suit). Stevens hyperaffectionate, sweet and genuinely starving for her at all times. She’s independent so sometimes it can be too much, but she most often humors him with those cheeks still soft with baby fat and his cute face.

⭐️ Resulting headcanon: Submissive leaning switch. Period. COME ON, the people who fight the hardest in their everyday life could never be a full submissive, just like Steven probably isn’t a full dominant. Puzzle pieces. Of course she likes teasing and bossing him around (with consent) and of course Steven would do anything she asked him to do if he can find a way to do it. But sometimes your giant half alien boyfriend/fiance/husband is stressed and needs to release some stress in a healthy way that ends with cuddles and nap time.

I guess this is where my headcanon maybe diverges from things based on factual personality traits but I think Steven grows up to be a little jaded. It often happens when a lot of people your age just don’t relate to the things you’ve been through. You chameleon (mask) to match people’s energies if you can find the tolerance for it, but you never really truly feel like you fit in unless you’re with other traumatized people. Plus, hanging out with humans is gonna round him out a little, and he’ll pick up on human things especially geared towards men (though I personally think our Stevens closer to Gender-Fluid just leaning on masculine pronouns as preference).

⭐️ Resulting headcanon: Stevens a terminal flirt once he hits his middle to late 20’s. He likes when Connie blushes, he thinks it’s adorable so I’m sure Steven would spend a lot of his time flirting with her (now whether or not it’s working is the question) using his Universe Charm~ 😂 I’m positive Connie would find it hilarious with him shooting finger guns and being a goofball with curly hair and baby cheeks.

Anyways, no one asked for this and I’m screaming into the void but I had to get this out or I would die.

[jenn-the-butterfly]

Azil Art & Shipping Permissions

This is partly for myself but also in the event of actually getting questions about this, I'm making a lil note about what I'm comfortable with being shown regarding my Azil boys specifically. (I can't tell you what to make in private, just know if it's against any of these preferences I can't guarantee I'll like it).

General:

YES you can draw my OCs with you/your OCs! I don't really care as long as you know it won't affect canon.

That includes ship art as well, go nuts, I think it's cute <3 I'm playing by "Schroedinger's bachelors" rules where everyone is both single AND in a relationship at the same time; canon material is established with the polycule but for funsies, it's "open"/they're considered pre-cule

YES you can draw angst, mild gore, horror, etc, though I enjoy thematic and symbolic varieties of these more than "just because"; my only concern is please don't show me gore of my OCs for the sake of being gross or rude

YES you can interpret their sexualities, genders, preferences and backstories however you want since it won't all be revealed at once, just be mindful that I have them already planned out and noted so if your idea doesn't become canon DON'T CRY TO ME ABOUT IT. Just have fun; it's not a big deal. I don't plan to be super specific with their identities because of the drama that usually brings, but I do have footnotes and lists of their preferences for myself.

YES you can draw smut, they're all classified as adults with the adult ability to consent (Harkness Test let's gooooo) but see below for individual canon-complicit preferences.

Don't worry about body types! Chubby and muscular OCs are equally valid to them as thin ones and yes, they can all lift you like princes/princex/princesses X3

Yes, I'm that bitch who let's the OCs have say (based on their personas) on what they're comfortable with:

Jenn:

Please treat her with respect, she's very dear to me. Unwarranted violence, "haha i killed her" and weirdly traumatic behaviors toward Jenn in particular may result in a block. Also, generally don't do that shit.

YES you can draw smut, etc; she far more fond of robots than of humans, especially ones that are taller than her and fall into either "protector" or "mentally stimulating" categories. (Also "assholes", dunno why.)

Don't make her unnecessarily weak or helpless because she's not; she's also not a teenager or young adult by default and not a damsel. If it's for a meme or has some plausible reason though, go for it.

Nova:

Nova is a lot more sensitive to sexual content than the others. He'd rather not know about explicit images of himself with anyone at this time. Same with gore/violence.

Cute, comfy, sweet art is completely welcome!

Tydal:

Ty doesn't care that much as long as his dignity is preserved.

(Do whatever, silly shit happens to him all the time, don't let his grouchy exterior fool you.)

NO ROMANTIC/SEXUAL SHIPPING BETWEEN TYDAL AND NOVA.

They're brothers. Please.

Event:

Absolutely doesn't care about whether the art is gore or smut or anything else as long as it's badass.

His main caveat is "I'm not gay" and doesn't really want to see art of himself with other male-identifying people. Platonic/filial art is fine though, as are masculine/muscular women (he actually loves muscle mommies a lot).

"Kinky shit is great!" He trends dom/top and is very fighty; god help you if you try to make him a sub. Bottom is negotiable (he likes girl-on-top).

Safewords are a must and he'd never violate consent terms.

Echo:

Food is more interesting than smut to him but he doesn't really care as long as it's noted his model doesn't have genitals so "get creative".

Also very big on boundaries and consent so communication is key; if it's happening, it's because it was explicitly asked for and discussed.

Absolutely more likely to commit homicide than anything else.

But! He still loves physical affection, so kissing, snuggling, etc. Also he bites.

NO ROMANTIC/SEXUAL SHIPPING BETWEEN EVENT AND ECHO.

They're brothers, too.

Xeros & Narii:

As a pair, their relationship is poorly defined (possible OTP but it's a massive slow burn). Right now they don't really like each other.

Xeros is extremely flirtatious in his mannerisms and while he prefers female-presenting/feminine others, he occasionally aims at the male demographic on a whim (he primarily presents top energy). Humans are met with a more business-like approach with emotional detachment ("it's only physical") and robots/synthetics with a bit more investment on a personal level.

Narii is all business and seriousness, keeping work for work time and personal for personal time; she is very private, making it hard to tell if she's interested or not and in what way.

At this time, neither of them have permanent genitals. Xeros has a modular feature that isn't public knowledge, but has limit sensory feedback thus his pleasure is limited with it. Narii has no genital option at all.

Ships of XerosxNarii are heavily "I can't stand you"/soft enemies-to-lovers but pirmarily are "business only" and not romantically or sexually inclined.

[bl-danmei-planet]

Can I ask, why do you love BL romance better than het romance? What makes them better? I did not mean anything negative, and I know everyone have their own like and dislike but I want to know your thoughts....

Also what do you think that made Asian MLM (BL manga/manhwa/manhua/books/tv series) romances better than western MLM romances?

Hi! Thank you for your message.

I actually got into BL genre in 2019 as an adult so I'm a still quite new to the genre. When I was a teenager I mostly read MLM fanfiction from western tv shows and bands (there weren't really many gay books then.) Recently I've also been getting into GL but I'm not an expert on the genre as I like more darker mature stories and GL features a lot of slice-of-life and teenage romance that are just not my thing.

To answer your first question I like BL romance better than hetero romance because I am myself queer and I love all kinds of art so I've always been looking for representation. I've been figuring out my gender and sexual identity for a while and BL gives a world where queer relationships are normal. I'm not a man but I'm interested in masculinity and especially queer masculinity. There is obviously lot of different types of BL from toxic to wholesome from kinky to slowburns. Some fans like all types of BL and some people have strict preferences and that's okay. I'm personally more into historical,fantasy,crime and mafia stories both in western art and in BL. I'm also a huge film nerd and I've always liked those genres but they are filled with straight men and oversexualized women(as is the whole western canon), so it was great to found stories set in those genres that feature queer men.

Another thing that might also make me drawn to BL is the female gaze, (although I think you could also talk about the queer gaze as we don't know the identities of the authors.) It's a relatively safe way to explore sex and kinks if you compare it to real life, porn or films. Many people are shocked by some darker or kinkier BL works but nothing has ever shocked or disgusted me as how women are sexualized in western media. So for me it's both exploration of my sexuality, the female gaze, queerness and masculinity.

To your second question: I think I've become more interested in Asian BL than western MLM is that it's much more... lawless? imaginative, taboo, fun etc. I think Western MLM focuses lot on recent issues within the lgbt+ community including identity, labels, rights, acceptance, representation etc (but there are also some Asian BL that focus on these themes as well!) I mostly read autobiographical works by all kinds of queer people and a lot of it can be very realistic and sometimes I read BL because I need escapism since the reality of queer life is still very sad, traumatic, and lonely....

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts

Tsukihime:

kohaku and shiki feeding/stuffing, can be as fluffy or dark as op would like

Fate/Stay Night

Rin and Luvia are brainwashed into thinking they are identical Twin sisters.

FGO:

The Boys are having a bbq and kintoki is making the extra effort to make mandricardo feel included and comfortable. What kintoki doesn't realise is that he's getting a little too touchy-feely with mandy, who now has to juggle his social anxiety with his growing desire to fuck this gorgeous hunk of a himbo

After some time, Kriemhild has accepted that her adopted son Schmidt has started dating and invites them over for family dinner. What she didn't expect is for him to show up with two people, both of whom seem to be bad influences on her son (Sieg×AstolfoxJeanne trouphle but honestly it can be anyone)

Smut, Oh no! Asclepius is sick! And the only cure is....nurse Nightingale pegging him into the nearest hospital mattress? Who wrote this prescription!

I hear a lot of "Barghest and Gawain" and more than some "Lancelot and Melusine", but I rarely ever hear about Tristan and Baoban Sith interacting. Show us Tristan and Baoban Sith hanging out! (I imagine Tristan would be like a big brother to Baoban Sith but I leave it to the prompt filler to elaborate on their relationship)

Post-canon. Mash finds phh Morgan still hidden within Britain. How does it go?

Au where Tonelico's plan did succeed and Uther became a righteous king who guided humans and fairies into a better future. Specifically, au where Mash has to deal with the fact that this happy ending means that her own world will never come to be, all the people she's ever loved will never be born, her own world is gone, and it's all by her own hand.

Two characters of your choice gets bodyswapped. Guda, who is completely face blind, takes an embarassing amount of time to realize it.

The Mori siblings should be allowed to eat a guy

Qin Shi Huang being both disgusted by and pining after Trimnau, due to her being made of mercury.

Melusine and the other dragon servant fight for who get to put guda in their treasure horde with the outcome be them all moving in with guda.

Ritsuka gets to live a normal human life after saving humanity and totally rocks it, they get some therapy, get to be happy with someone they love, all that good jazz

Saver/Ruler!Fujimaru Ritsuka see Berserker!Fujimaru Ritsuka and envy their berserker self

Fujimaru couple deal with their own kid that they can't longer recognized. Post ending. (or Ritsuka do their best to prove that they could back to their normal life and their damn repress trauma)

Smut, Tonelico the savior, girl who's fucked around quite a lot in her life, is perfectly prepared to have sex with Mash. What she is not prepared for is that Mash genuinely cares for Tonelico's pleasure & comfort and love is dripping out of her every words even to her muddled fairy eyes. Cue Tonelico benig taken aback and overwhelmed by something she hasn't felt directed at her in centuries. Ideally this would be super kinky bdsm sex because I think the contrast of "this girl is tying me up and whipping me while also being super in love with me" would be interesting but if vanilla's your game go the fuck for it man.

Izou, rebuffed yet again by Ryouma and mostly Oryou, goes out drinking. In the morning he finds himself snuggled up with Hijikata and Tatsuki. Very confused.

I know the Anastasia we have in Chaldea is different than the one in LB1. But I still think it'd be nice for her to visit Kadoc pre-awakening and talk to him for a lil

Crossovers

Sakura Matou, a girl who, let's say "had a bad experience with bugs", meets Oberon Vortigern, a man who 1. uses bugs a lot, and 2. seems rather protective of heavily traumatized girls. How does that pan out? (I'm leaving this as open-ended as possible so the prompt filler can go wild)

[aewrie]

i started rambling in tags there but actually i'll just make a separate post bc i have a lot of thoughts. readmore bc long, cw mentioned csa, harassment, etc

there's a world of difference between minors exploring sexual topics at their own pace in neutral/educational contexts etc, and being unwillingly exposed to sexual topics in ways meant to shock/disturb/harass/groom

i have been a minor in both of these situations. amazingly enough only the instances where my consent/boundaries were ignored ever bothered me, who would have thought!

the first book i read that had a sexually explicit scene was the clan of the cave bear (heavy cw for csa if you plan to read/look it up). i was 13 iirc. i did not know it contained such a scene, but going forward with the series, i quickly realized there would be a lot of sex. i read the whole thing before turning 18.

in general, i was given pretty free reign with the media i engaged with. zero adult supervision with my library habits. i learned what my limits were, i learned to pace myself as needed, i learned to curate my media intake. this was far more useful than someone filtering all my books for 'bad' content with no input from me would have been.

i started drawing/writing sexual things of my own in my preteens or soon after. it got fairly explicit fairly fast. i didn't share any of it with anyone, it was just for me, but i did draw and write these things as a outlet for the thoughts and feelings i was having.

i find this much preferable to what several of my peers were doing, which was having unsafe sex with each other and/or unsafe people. there were a few who were drinking around at 15ish, which means there was/were sketchy adult(s) providing alcohol, and who knows what else. at least one of the girl got pregnant. (worth noting that teen pregnancies are very rare here)

me reading spicy books or secretly drawing sex did not traumatize me. wouldn't be so sure about those former classmates.

also, in the context of that post showing a sign/disclaimer that is at an art gallery, i must mention that this not a one off situation. once i went to an exhibit (on an art school trip) dedicated to selfies. there was a section for nudes/sexual selfies. it was a somewhat separate corner of the exhibit, walled off but with open doorways so you could easily see inside. there was only a simple sign noting that there was sexual content in there, but no one stood there to check who went in. no ids were asked when we arrived to the gallery. all of us minus the teacher were in our late teens; some might have been minors, idk. just. your own call if you went in or skipped that section, that's it.

minors still should steer clear of specifically 18+ spaces/communities and such. it's not safe or educational or anything. a teen secretly & privately looking at something illicit vs engaging in sexual and/or kinky interactions/communities are extremely different. something like a strip club or a kink dungeon is strictly adults only for a reason. online, minors posting heavily suggestive material is extremely not good even if technically not adult content. there's some wiggle room in things appropriate for teens but not younger kids, i know i started sharing occasional mild nsfw art at around 15, but it was specifically in general art communities, not sexual/kink communities. social media makes that distinction tricky if it is there at all.

(tho i must admit, seeing what i intended as a sweet tender moment between my ocs to end up in someone's pregnancy fetish collection on deviantart was certainly a lesson to be learned about how people engage with things online. i was weirded out but shrugged it off since the person wasn't otherwise interacting with me or anything & it was ultimately harmless, and i've kept on doing that ever since. highly recommend!)

but. "nsfw spaces for minors"? (yikes) "sfw kink" communities open for minors? (for the love of fuck no)- you mean places designed for grooming. creeps will lie about their ages and motivations.

when and how and why and with whom matters so much when it comes to minors and sexual topics.

also i saw one person in the notes there going on about how you shouldn't tell kids what porn is until they're teens bc porn is traumatizing. fuck off with that

one thing mom did 100% right was explaining that porn is unrealistic make belief for adults that i shouldn't take seriously or try to mimic before i even knew what porn was & only had a rough understanding of sex.

that's how you prevent porn from messing with kid's perception of sex & reduce related trauma. you EDUCATE, and do it BEFORE the exposure happens. if you only teach about sex related things when they become "topical" there's a good change you're already too late. signed, more than one lesson came too late for me. fun things to learn in your-20s, yay

parents/teachers should go forward with the assumption that one way or another, minors will be exposed to sexual things, through their own curiosity, trough harassment/abuse, through peers wanting to shock them/gross them out, by pure chance/on accident, whatever it might be, and give them the tools and spaces to process what weird feelings or upset might come. pretending porn doesn't exist and demonizing sex all but guarantees issues and trauma.

[anonofseasons]

I feel more comfortable talking about this issue here than on main, bc it has a lot of talk about being a spanko and writing spanking stories. (I'm still working on being more comfortable with this and my journey of self-discovery, bc being a spanko is both a delight and heavily traumatic.) But this has to do with why it's important to write what you want to write.

I've said on here long ago (new followers so many might not know this) that I don't feel comfortable writing spanking in stories unless it's between adults or shown in an abusive way. Sometimes it's a background thing - like a character says, "Oh I got spanked for doing this" in passing - but otherwise I tend to mostly write adult spanking, and it's often consensual (but not always). Either way, I recognize that this is about my journey. My comfort. While that limits some of what I read, too, I can read some things that I don't feel comfortable writing myself. I don't mind reading spankings that I wouldn't approve of IRL, bc it's fiction! (Though I'll start running if I get the impression the author condones it IRL.) I know that what I write might be something upsetting to some spankos, bc they like the hurt/comfort aspects. I can't... write Vivian punishing his kids and cuddling them and it all being fine. Maybe that would be healing and appealing for others, but for me, it's like... nope. My experiences growing up were traumatic. I've had a fascination with spanking since I was four. And to this day, I enjoy being spanked (sexually and as therapy and domestic discipline). Fascination turned to funny feelings I didn't realize were arousal. But obviously, it was sexually gratifying, and having people do it to me against my consent as punishment was... well, again. Traumatic. Which led to a long journey of dealing with that. Trying to understand this common childhood fascination and all that while surviving in a world that constantly uses it as punishment. It's so crushing for me some days, and I avoid public places and get anxious if children are crying bc what if they're being abused and... Well. I don't do well in crowds. So I have to write the stories that work for me. And that's not everyone else's experiences. Some people really enjoy writing punishments with love and aftercare despite disapproving of it IRL. Fantasies of being loved afterward or wanting to explore something you haven't been through before... it's interesting, I do it with lots of topics. That's why taboo subjects are still important! I really enjoyed writing Rascal bc Hazel discovered his kink in childhood, and it was nice for him to have a consensual relationship in adulthood with his boyfriend that was loving and healthy! But for him to also feel disgust when his father criticizes him and says that he should have had a firmer hand when raising Hazel. Like... hello, Hazel got off on spanking, he'd like to not hear his father say, "I should have spanked you more." Especially when William's problems are all on him for being a shit person, not on Hazel.... Anyway, uh. Yeah. What I'm saying, ultimately, is that everyone's experiences and requirements for fiction differ. That's why it's important to write to please yourself. Some people will connect with that work. Others will not. It's also equally important as readers not to say, "I wish you'd write this ship" or "I wish you'd have written a hug after that spanking" or w/e - like, it's fine to be disappointed when you're reading, but it's also important to respect that the author isn't there to cater to anyone but themselves. So write what you fucking please. Some people like my kinky consensual adult stuff, others like my dark traumatic childhood fics with clear disapproval. Either way, these have made me happy to write. They help me navigate my trauma and make me happy to write. I also write stories over just writing spanking, so there is that. I love a plot. I have stories without spanking or with very little of it! I tried to write some spanking erotica, bc I do sometimes like writing smutty fics, and I just... found out that it wasn't for me. That's okay! Just do what makes you happy. :)