#lots of tws today everypony

[is-it-tavros-tuesday]

6/27/23: yes

[smallbrooke1998]

Duck's First Meltdown As A Pony

TW: Self injurious behavior.

Duck experiences complete overwhelm in everything for the first time and because of it, has a very intense meltdown. It was to the point that he had to hide away in the privacy of the bathroom so that he could do it safely. He is not a danger to himself or anyone, the self injurious behavior was due to the nature of the meltdown and he gives himself a minor bruise. This is all very confusing for him btw. But thankfully, he has friends to provide him comfort.

And yes, he has had similar outbursts before as an engine, but he was limited what he could do, so it was mostly verbal. Tantrums and meltdowns are pretty normal for engines from time to time.

Story:

Ever since waking up this morning, Duck has felt more agitated and he didn’t know why. Every small thing that happened today either increased his anxiety or made him irritated. At one point while waiting in line for a smoothie at the Smoothie Cart, he almost got snappy when someone cut him in line. “Can’t you wait like everypony else?! It’s impolite to cut somepony in line!” He shouted at the pony that cut him, of course, they didn’t listen and stayed in front of Duck. The small stallion sighs out his nose and takes deep breaths to calm down. Everypony did notice this strange behavior from him but everytime he got asked along the lines of, “What’s wrong?”, “Are you doing alright?”, and so on, Duck would bluntly tell them that he was fine, even though he didn’t actually feel fine. 

After spending his usual time with his friends in Maretime Bay and at the beach, he walks back to the Crystal Brighthouse, being accompanied by Izzy, Percy, James, Toby, and Comet (who just like Duck and his friends from Sodor, Comet is from another dimension as well, but from Starlight Ridge). Everyone else stayed behind in Maretime Bay doing activities, including a volleyball match hosted by a beach goer. Everypony was pretty much talking as they walked back to the house, the chatter keeping Duck briefly distracted from the stress and agitation he’s felt all day. 

“I can’t wait for the old boardwalk to reopen again! According to Sunny, the boardwalk has been closed for almost 20 moons!” Izzy chatters, being her usual whimsical self. 

“That’s one other new thing I’ve learned about Equestria. You Equestria folks have so many fun-filled activities!” Comet replies, almost tripping on a crack on the trail but catches himself. Duck has noticed that Comet is more clumsy than Rebecca and has witnessed him fall a lot. The near fall makes Duck slightly anxious at first but felt relieved when Comet caught the fall. 

“So that means, when the boardwalk opens, can we come back?” Percy pipes in, sounding excited for the boardwalk, like everyone else in the group, he’s never been to a boardwalk before, nor even stepped foot on one due to being restricted only to the rails as an engine. 

“Of course, you guys could come back anytime” Izzy replies, walking over the crack. 

Duck frowns. “That sounds fun and all, but we would have to speak with the fat controller first. We can’t just leave our jobs.” Duck says, sounding serious. 

“We know!!” James, Percy, and Toby reply rather dryly to Duck. Although Percy has a great friendship with Duck, James does not. Toby enjoys his presence but does get cross sometimes with him. 

Duck looks away and goes quiet. Everyone continues their trek back to the house, continuing their various discussions. Duck meanwhile felt quite agitated and left out, it seemed like everyone hated him today, even though that wasn’t the case. Although he looked calm to everypony else, he was suffering from the buildup on the inside. Soon, they make it to the Crystal Brighthouse, Izzy opening the door. Comet of course trips on the floor upon entry. Instead of waiting for him to get up, everyone else simply walked around him, although James gave Duck a rude nudge. 

“Go faster!” James says annoyingly, almost making Duck fall.  

“Oh pardon me, but I would rather be careful!” Duck replies back, sounding cross. His ears pinning back. 

Izzy took notice and started to get worried for Duck. Having lived with Sunny for almost three years now, she could tell when Sunny wasn’t doing well when she started getting agitated, and Duck’s behavior resembled the warning signs that Sunny displayed before losing her temper. 

Duck simply heads to the couch and sits down, trying to calm down after James tried to nudge him forward. The rest follow him to the couch as well, getting situated. While everyone else was getting relaxed, Duck just couldn’t relax, he felt like he was about to have a heart attack, even though that was false. But that thought kind of freaked him out and he tapped his back hoof. He grabs a strand of his mane and twirls it around. 

“Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?” Izzy asks Duck, checking in on him, noticing that he was restless. 

“I’m fine, of course I don’t need anything.” Duck tells Izzy, trying to sound calm, even though he had agitation in his voice. Although he lied, he was feeling weird and anxious. 

“Okay then, but you can separate yourself from the group if you need to.” Izzy tells Duck, reminding him that he doesn’t need to be with others all the time. 

Duck nods his head and resumes the fidgeting that he was doing earlier. Toby turns on the T.V., using the remote to browse for channels, the volume being surprisingly loud upon turning on the screen. With the noise, Duck grabs his ears and folds them down, trying to muffle the sudden noise briefly. He swishes his tail. 

“Apologies, that volume is very high” Toby states, noticing everyone being startled by the sudden noise. He turns it down to a comfortable decibel. 

But Duck doesn’t calm down when Toby apologizes or turns down the volume. It was clear that he was experiencing overwhelm and just couldn’t stand anything anymore. He was shaking. 

Meanwhile, Comet who has gotten up after the fall did follow them to the living room, sensing tension in the room, he decides to get back up. “I’m going to make my signature hot chocolate, perhaps a surprise one.” 

Everypony but Duck perks up at Comet speaking about making Hot Chocolate. Everypony always looked forward to his hot chocolate. Comet gets up and heads to the kitchen. Izzy stays to keep watch. 

“Stop being so dramatic, it’s just the telly.” James says to Duck, not showing any sympathy. 

Duck uncovers his ears and gets up from the couch, feeling like he is breaking apart, but instead, he holds it together and looks at James. Even though he was about to snap, he hid it. “If you excuse me, I need to go to the washroom real quick.” James rolls his eyes in annoyance, but Duck ignores his behavior and walks to the washroom. 

Despite the statement, Duck didn’t actually need to use the washroom, but due to what he was feeling, he felt like he needed to get away from everyone to allow himself to decompress and take a break. Once entering the washroom, he locks himself in, meaning the washroom is locked from the outside. 

After getting situated, he starts to hyperventilate and lays down on his side, allowing his emotions to take over. He was very confused by all the feelings but all he knew was that it was too much and holding it just wouldn’t help. His heart pounds against his chest and hyperventilates, but also he feels adrenaline rush through his veins, he was in a fight-or-flight response state. He lays there, his muscles stiffen briefly before he kicks his hooves. “What is wrong with me?!” He asks himself as the hyperventilation goes on, his muscles tense up and he gets this desire to hit something, but not hit an object but hit himself. 

He flails and places both hooves to his head and face, hitting his forehead, but not too hard. As he did so, he wanted to yell. “Ugh!!! Why can’t I do anything right!!” He yells very loudly, using one hoof to squeeze his head and the other to hit. He does very loud vocal stims as he does so. “I’m worthless!!” He yells out as he did so. With the confusion of the behavior, he gets more upset and continues to hit more. After a few moments, he starts breaking out in sobs, tears pooling from his tear ducts. Snot forms too. Once reaching this point, he stops caring and continues melting down. 

As he continues having the meltdown, he hits his forehead a few more times before using his other hoof to hold his head as well. He kicks his hooves a few more times. Despite being gentle, he does have a small bruise on his forehead. Once the initial rage phase gets over, he lays on his side, sobbing, setting his hooves down and lays there on his side, curled in a fetal position. At this point, he wasn’t coherent enough to even talk and just sobs. He was sobbing to the point that he gasped between sobs and hyperventilated. In his mind, he was feeling shame for his immature actions and began to cry more out of shame. He does this for a few minutes before his sobs reduce to hiccups. 

Meanwhile, outside, Izzy was waiting beside the washroom door, feeling quite worried. Everypony else, including James, were concerned for Duck. Izzy, knowing how Sunny sometimes gets, stays there silently, letting Duck work it out. She has learned that trying to console or attempt at anything wasn’t going to be effective and it generally doesn’t work. So as a result, she has learned to wait until the other is ready to have comfort. After a bit, Izzy knocks at the door, feeling like Duck was ready to have interaction. 

Duck hears someone knock and lifts his head, sniffling and swallowing. The side of his face was wet from tears and a puddle was on the floor due to it. “Who is it?” He answers, barely able to speak and feeling intense shame. He was feeling slightly scared that the three former engines would view him as a bratty toddler and because of it, he would get roasted for it. They’ve never been sympathetic for him in the past, so why now? 

“It’s Izzy. If you want, I can come in, but you would need to unlock the door.” Izzy tells Duck, in a motherly tone. 

“Alright, you may.” Duck says, very willing to let Izzy inside, he was relieved that it wasn’t one of the former engines. He stands up and walks to the door, unlocking it. Once unlocked, he walks back, allowing Izzy to enter and close the door behind her. 

“Are you feeling better?” Izzy asks Duck first thing, observing his face and the bruise. She grabs a piece of toilet tissue and wipes the tears and snot off his face. 

“Perhaps…But feeling tired. I’m sorry for my temper today, I don’t know why I-” Duck tries to explain when Izzy cuts him off. 

“It’s alright Duck, it’s alright. We all have our days. You’ve been doing quite a lot since arriving here and your body just wore out.” Izzy explains, using her hoof to cover Duck’s mouth. “Friends are always there for each other.” 

Duck turns his head away from her hoof and frees himself, Izzy lets him do so. “Yes, I do know about bad days, but someone like myself shouldn’t meltdown like a child. I’m supposed to be mature and be no nonsense. Acting up is not the great western way.” 

“You don’t have to be perfect all the time, sometimes you just need to let off steam. It’s okay. Can I hug?” Izzy says, being reassuring to the smaller green stallion. 

“Right…” Duck replies to Izzy, feeling ashamed. He nods his head to give Izzy permission to hug. Izzy takes it as an invitation and hugs him, doing it rather tightly. 

“Ow!” Duck yelps, his back feeling pain. 

“Oopsies, my bad. I forget that you have a bad back. I’m used to squeezing Sunny during her meltdowns” Izzy tells Duck, being reminded that he’s not durable as Sunny and is sensitive. She lightens up her grip and Duck relaxes. 

Duck sniffles, crying silently. Izzy allows him to stay there as he nuzzles his muzzle in Izzy’s fur. He got a little too tight with the hug but the unicorn mare didn’t mind. Izzy rubs his back as a form of comfort. 

“I’m sorry for showing vulnerability, I can’t control it..” Duck mumbles apologetically, sniffling at the same time. 

“No need to be sorry, you just needed to get all your emotions out.” Izzy reassures, rubbing his back. 

They sit there silently for almost five minutes, Duck entering his cooldown phase. By the end, he stops crying completely and wipes the tears off his eyes. 

“All better?” Izzy asks Duck, noticing that he was very calm and was ready to break from the hug. 

“I think so.” Duck replies, loosening his grip. Izzy stops hugging him and lets him go. She notices that Duck’s nose is runny and gets a tissue to wipe the remaining snot off, but also the remaining tears. 

Duck walks back, feeling embarrassed. “I hope my friends don’t make fun of me for my behavior, I don’t want to be seen as different.” He says, looking away. 

“You won’t, I will make sure that nopony else makes fun of you for the behavior.” Izzy tells Duck, walking to the door. 

“I hope so.” Duck replies, following Izzy out. 

“Comet made hot chocolate by the way, he made you a special cup, it has calming herbs.” Izzy tells Duck. 

They leave the washroom and are greeted with sympathetic ponies instead of laughing faces. It makes Duck feel better. Comet gives him his cup and chills out, watching T.V. with the others for the time being. Duck enjoys the hot chocolate as usual.

~End~

A very wholesome moment between Izzy and Duck. Izzy hugging him as he goes through the last stage of his meltdown, recovery. As you can tell, this is not Izzy's first rodeo with a meltdown and has experience.

Just so you know, meltdowns are not temper tantrums. They're the result of someone experiencing some form of overwhelm in the form of emotions, sensory, or environmental. It's uncontrollable and involuntary. Meltdowns are common in people with cognitive (developmental) and mental disorders. The meltdowns being well known in people with Autism.