#lots of skags

[wren-likethe-bird]

wren rambles about the borderlands movie in tags

[sf-bl]

Art-a-Day Day 27 Made the second part of the pic for this and nearly forgot to post, oops. Silly AU concept: AI Jack got hitched to Atlas Rhys in secret, leading to some interesting rumours and a lot of bullet-riddled well-wishers on Helios. It's mostly an advantage in dealing with the original, except that the worse he is the more Rhys starts looking at him like an episode of Sad Skag Videos.

[rlyc00l]

BL2 AU: Rhys travels to Pandora for a simple job: take a train to Lynchwood, pick up an artifact, return to Helios. Only, he finds himself unwittingly caught in a trap that wasn't meant for him. Now stranded on Pandora alongside six Vault hunters, he has the choice between fighting Hyperion alongside them or dying horribly. Lucky for him, Handsome Jack is always looking for opportunities. All Rhys needs to do is a little bit of spying, maybe a teensy bit of sabotage, and then he's home free with a huge promotion and maybe like ten turbo-mansions. The Crimson Raider cause is doomed anyway, and Rhys is a pro at ignoring his conscience. Not that there's much conscience to ignore when you're betraying a group of murdering Vault hunters. At least, he's confident he won't have any internal conflict about screwing over that selfish jackass of an assassin.

Hey guys I went ahead and uploaded the first chapter of a fic I've also been writing alongside P0is0ned. This is one where I try to be CONFIDENT and not be a perfectionist. So I might update it a little more frequently? I mentioned this idea before but I think it would be interesting to have these two meet when they are both at their worst. Zer0 before discovering the magic of friendship and a Rhys who totally buys into Hyperion bullshit. (Also, I like writing the BL2 Vault hunters in general and IDK I just wanted to write about BL2 I have a lot of thoughts and headcanons.)

EDIT: As ff.net is perpetually broken, the chapter's also under the break!

———— The train was mostly empty when Rhys boarded, aside from the Hyperion soldiers that boarded at the same time as him. Rhys had offered them a cheery greeting, and been mostly ignored as the soldiers filed back into another car, somewhere behind them. One had stopped, asked him “You sure you’re in the right place?”

“This is the train headed to Lynchwood, right? Jack sent me on a job down there.”

“Yeah, well, keep your head down. Stay out of the other cars,” the soldier said, before following the others.

Technically, Jack hadn’t sent him, Vasquez had. But it was always better to invoke Jack’s name, and Jack had given Vasquez the job. Vasquez had simply passed it down to Rhys, and no one outside of Security Propaganda knew who the hell Vasquez was. If you said a job came from Jack, no one questioned it. No one except Vaughn and Yvette. 

“Are you sure Vasquez isn’t just sending you down to die on Pandora?” Yvette had asked as the three took their lunch break the day before. 

“It’s a peace offering! He knows I’m a threat, so he gives me the prestigious-yet-inconvenient job so I feel like I owe him. If he wanted me dead, he’d throw me out an airlock.” 

“I dunno, Rhys,” Vaughn said, mouth still half-full of hamburger. He swallowed. “He’s thrown a LOT of people out of airlocks, they say at a certain level you reach your allotted murder-limit. Now, send a guy down to the death-planet…” 

“Yeah, seriously, Rhys, you know there’s a war going on down there? And the entire planet is populated by bandits? And man-eating monsters?” Yvette gestured with her fork as she spoke. “Is he even giving you a gun or something?” 

“No, Yvette, because I won’t need a gun. I looked up the route, it’s extremely safe. I’ll mostly be on a Hyperion train, there will be soldiers guarding it, it’s fine.” 

Now, watching Pandora pass out the train window, he was feeling pretty confident that his reasoning had been accurate. He’d boarded at a Hyperion military post in the Highlands, its lush green landscapes a far call from the wastelands heaped with trash featured in propaganda videos. By now that green had given way to barren desert, but still not a single bandit in sight. At one point the train passed a pack of oversized skags, and later he was pretty sure he saw a body, but maybe it had been a weird rock. Ocassionally there were remnants of Atlas and Dahl’s failed attempts to colonize the planet. Broken-down buildings, being retaken by the elements. Obviously those two hadn’t thrown enough resources at the place. Jack was going all the way. Yvette would probably note that he’d be safer if he shuttered the window, but hey, it wasn’t often he got to see an undeveloped alien planet, and the glass was probably bulletproof. Rhys was starting to get the sense that Handsome Jack had ensured that Hyperion’s propaganda greatly exaggerated Pandora’s general awfulness–not that he blamed him. How else was he supposed to convince the investors? Not to mention it was a fantastic motivator for the workforce. Still, Rhys was almost disappointed. He’d wanted to see something impressive, have some good stories for when he got back to Helios. This place was just a lot of empty desert, ripe for development. At some point, the monotony lulled him to sleep, head propped against the window. The glass was cold when he woke suddenly. Outside, the desert was gone, replaced by ice and snow. It took Rhys a moment to realize that the sound he was hearing wasn’t the train, but nearby gunshots. Gunshots that didn’t fade out at the train moved. Well, shit. 

He shuttered the window, hunkering down between the seats. It had to be a bandit attack, bandits were no match for Hyperion soldiers. Just had to wait it out. 

Yvette had given him a stun rod before he’d gotten on the shuttle. “It’s better than nothing,” she’d said. He clutched it now, wishing she’d hooked him up with something more powerful. 

Minutes passed, and the shooting went on, accompanied by indistinct yelling. Still, no one boarded his car. He wondered what bandits would do to him if they found him. They didn’t have a reputation for letting people live, except to torture them. Maybe, if Rhys stayed here, waited to unleash the stun rod until the last second, he could catch them by surprise. Then it was a matter of getting a gun from one of them, diving back behind the seats (Were those bulletproof, too?), and taking down the rest of them. They’d be lined up, it had to be easy, right? He hadn’t ever touched a gun, but they didn’t seem that complicated. Right?

His planning was interrupted by a deafening boom, and the next he knew he was flying through the air. He hit the ceiling, hard, and he knew nothing more. 

It was dark when he woke, cold, hurting all over, and tasting blood. Part of him was afraid to flick on his palm flashlight, so he first tried to take stock mentally. He could only hear his own breathing, now. The gunshots had stopped. He wasn’t sure what that meant for him, but he was starting to realize that the train had crashed, or been derailed, or something. Which, maybe meant he didn’t have to worry about bandits anymore? Or, they’d be in at least as bad a shape as he was. Hopefully.

That led to the question of how bad a shape he was actually in. Okay, first, the blood taste. He ran his tongue around his mouth, finding the place he’d bitten the fleshy side, hard. Well, at least that wasn’t gonna kill him. His face stung, but in the carpet burn way, not the “there’s shrapnel imbedded in your cheeks” way. He had an agonizing headache, but maybe this was one of those times where you’d worry more if it didn’t hurt. His ECHOeye seemed alright, at least. 

Fingers checked out, both flesh and cybernetic, though when he tried to make a fist on the flesh side he found himself letting out a string of profanity. Fine, okay, he hurt his wrist. No big deal. His cybernetic arm was fine aside from an ache at the connection point, he wouldn’t be helpless. His legs were good, at least. And his torso…Well, it sort of hurt to breathe, which wasn’t ideal. 

Better get it over with, then. He turned on the flashlight and sat up with a groan to get a better look at himself. Sure enough, his wrist was swelling, and bruises were starting to form all over, but there wasn’t even close to as much blood as he’d expected. So, yeah, he probably wasn’t in immediate mortal peril. 

He turned his attention to his surroundings. In front of him were the rows of seating, the entire car had fallen sideways and he was sitting on what had been the wall. Snow drifted in from some broken windows above him. He realized how cold he was, now. He hadn’t packed much of anything, it was supposed to be one night, he’d counted on there being a Quick-Change machine.

Okay, fine, Rhys had seen all those border planet survival shows, you had to be proactive in these kinds of situations. First, figure out where he was, maybe find one of those soldiers, if they’d survived. He rose, broken glass crunching under his feet as he walked unsteadily across the car until he found the roof hatch. It only opened part way when he turned the handle, getting caught on the snow bank the car was half-buried in. It was a little brighter outside the car, a combination of Elpis’s light and a number of small fires revealed silhouettes of the train wreckage.  

He had to wriggle and clamber his way out, managing to get snow up his sleeves and down his shirt before tumbling down the bank into a foot of snow. 

As he pushed himself up, he found himself facing a…glowing blue line? His eyes followed it up to the hand that held it, and the strangely featureless owner of that hand. He blinked, taking a moment to put it together. 

Oh. A sword. A bandit holding him at swordpoint. 

He barely managed a “D-don’t.”, knowing he should probably beg for his life. He was finding he didn’t have the energy for begging, though. Snow was already melting through his pants.

The bandit leaned in closer, not taking the sword from his neck. The light of the blade reflected on the dark surface that should have been their face. A helmet with a dark visor, Rhys realized—or maybe they were a robot, but they seemed to be shivering too, just a little. 

“You are no soldier.” Their voice was deep, nearly monotone. “But you are Hyperion. / You have ten seconds.” “Ten…? F-for what?” He started to rise without thinking, only to be prodded by the point of the sword. 

“To explain yourself. / Jack had someone set this up. / You’re the last one here.” “Look, I…I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s freezing, my head’s killing me, can we just…Not do this?”

They prodded him again. 

“I-I mean, I was here for a business deal. I didn’t…” 

The figure lowered their sword. A red, glowing “:\” appeared in front of where their face should have been, and Rhys found himself wondering if he was hallucinating this entire thing. “You got on the train / Meant as a place of slaughter, / Just by accident?” 

Slowly, things were coming together. God, if he survived this, he was gonna never live it down. “I swear, I-I had nothing to do with this, I was told to get on this train, take it to Lynchwood. I was supposed to buy an artifact.” 

The emoticon was replaced by a question mark, but they lowered the sword. Rhys didn’t move, lest he provoke them. “Get up, or you’ll freeze,” they said, turning away. They limped as they walked. 

By the time he was on his feet, they were gone, only leaving footprints and an occasional spot of blood. He hesitated. Helios hung indifferently above him, framed with curtains of green auroras. He could just find one of these little fires and sit down next to it for however long it lasted, and hope for rescue. Except, a middle manager didn’t warrant a rescue, once the fire was out he’d just freeze to death. That, or Pandoran wildlife would get to him first. 

Following that stranger might mean being stabbed, but maybe they knew where to find shelter. He got up, and followed their prints with his palm flashlight, hoping the snow wouldn’t bury the trail before he caught up. 

He passed smoking wreckage and the corpses of soldiers. Wind bit at him as he walked, and he held his vest close, for whatever difference it made. Snow clumped up on his socks and the bottom of his pants, even as he tried to step in their prints. He tripped and stumbled a few times, there was trash everywhere, much of it hidden beneath the snow. 

Just when he was starting to resign himself to a cold death in a frozen trash heap, he saw distant lights. As he neared the word “Welcome” lit up one letter at a time, over and over. Again he wondered if he was hallucinating. Was that a symptom of hypothermia? But the footprints continued in that direction, joined by more tracks. Other survivors. 

As he got closer, he found that the sign was outside a structure built of snow and defunct Claptrap units. He opened the door. There was a short hallway, built of ice and more dead claptraps, and ending in a warm glow. Fire. 

He came out into a low-ceilinged room with six people and a broken–but still functioning–Claptrap. Before he could process exactly what he was looking at, five of them were pointing guns at him. 

He held his hands up, trying to inch towards the blazing furnace. “Please—Please don’t kill me. I-I-I–just, I’m trying not to free-freeze to death.” 

His eyes found the one who’d threatened him earlier, they were the only one who wasn’t pointing a gun at him now. But they didn’t come to his defense, either. They only watched him, arms crossed. Or, he assumed they were watching him, they could have just as easily been intently ignoring him. 

When nothing happened for a moment, he took the last few steps to put himself near the fire. It was hard to care about getting shot when you were so goddamn cold. There were at least six dead bodies already beside the fire, but he couldn’t make himself care about that either.

“That’s a Hyperion uniform.” The speaker was a Dahl soldier–marked by metal implants in his brow. He cocked his gun.  

“I uh, I’ve got nothing against Dahl,” Rhys tried.

That earned him a snort. 

Right, yeah, they’d all arrived at the same conclusion as the first one. “I had nothing to do with that, with the train, I-I was being set up to die back there, just like you.”  

“What’s happening?” The eyeless claptrap demanded. “I can’t see–!” A high-pitched bleep censored out the last word.  

“The mortar meat is too stringy! Where’s your pain stick?!” The masked man who looked straight out of Jack’s anti-bandit propaganda waved his gun as he spoke, then lowered it suddenly and gave a shrug. 

“Big guy’s right, he’s obviously not a soldier,” the blue-haired woman said, following his lead. Her tattoos matched her hair, and his first thought was “siren”, which almost seemed too absurd, out of six in the universe, why would one be here, in this weird corpse-shack? 

“Neither is Jack, and I mean, look at him,” said the pigtailed redhead, making a wide gesture at Rhys with her robotic arm– a much more primitive model than his. She looked too young to be here, he was pretty sure that was a high school uniform. 

“I uh, I don’t have the kind of power Jack does, even if I wanted to kill you? Could-could you at least put down the guns, for a second?” His head hurt too much to be dealing with this, he just wanted to sit down and relax for a minute or two. “That Claptrap is a Hyperion robot, right? Arguably more Hyperion than I am. And considerably more annoying.” 

“FORMER Hyperion robot!” the Claptrap addressed the wall. “Jack discontinued and destroyed my product line! I am a free robot now!” 

“I saw we kill ‘im already. The guy, not the robot.” The short, weirdly muscular man spoke up. “Then get this bullymong.” 

“You’re actually going to kill an unarmed man just for a label on his shirt?” the maybe-siren asked. 

“Yeah, really? I-I have… several broken bones, too, I think. If that makes any difference. And, if I uh, if I had anything to do with this, I definitely would have avoided hurting myself this bad.” He looked to the one with the helmet, pleading. They’d seen him in the snow, they’d judged him innocent.

“Hurry and decide,” they said, not even turning their head to look at him. “I am eager to move out. / And kill Handsome Jack.” There was something strange about how they talked, Rhys was realizing. Measured, concise, short… 

“What, you wanna freeze to death out there?” the soldier asked. “I’m not heading out until morning.”

They crossed their arms, a  red “:\” passing over their visor. “Fine.” 

“Oh come on, you already decided not to kill me, earlier! Could you at least back me up?” 

This time they did look at him. “I have no stake, here. / And you are clearly dead weight. / You’re doomed regardless.” 

“Your bones are made of toothpicks and my molars are SPOTLESS!” 

“Yeah, alright, good point, I think?” the soldier said.  We can always shoot him later, right? Once he’s earned it.”

The short man shrugged. “Yeah, whatever.” 

“Fine,” the redhead said with a yawn. “If he kills any of you in our sleep, that’s not on me.” 

At that, the group dispersed throughout the shack, finding comfortable spots, as if Rhys were suddenly of no more importance than one of the corpses by the fire. The maybe-siren hung back for a moment. 

 “Here,” she said, handing him an insta-health. “If you try to screw us over, I will liquidate your brain with my powers.” Okay, definitely-siren, then. “But for now, I’m not big on killing unarmed men.” 

“Thanks.” He took the syringe, feeling strange about using a random needle on Pandora, insta-health or not. Still, he was in enough pain to jam it into his arm, gritting his teeth as bones realigned. “So, uh, hi. I’m Rhys.” He offered his freshly healed hand and his most charming smile–he’d better ingratiate himself with these people, fast. “I guess we kind of got off on the wrong foot, thanks for uh, sticking up for me.”

She looked at him, then at the hand, but didn’t take it. “Maya,” she said. “And I can’t say the others were entirely out of line, considering who you work for.” “Worked for. I think trying to blow me up was Jack’s way of firing me.” Always better to invoke Jack’s name. “Might have been a little too vocal in criticizing his policies on Pandora.” He’d heard of people who criticized Jack’s policies, Jack dealt with those hands-on, but bandits didn’t know that. 

She raised her eyebrows. “Well, good to hear. Perhaps you can do something worthwhile, now.” 

“Worthwhile, like?” 

“Tomorrow, we hunt down the bullymong that tore Claptrap’s eye out. Supposedly, he can get us into Sanctuary. We’re going to kill Handsome Jack.” 

[magnuficent76]

All of M3ph1st0's prosthetics - A comprehensive summary.

Mephisto is disabled in multiple ways. It is also a huge nerd and a big transhumanism fan who happens to know about a lot of robotics. That all being said, they have augmented themselves in many ways. Here's all of them, going from the top [Content warning for discussion of organs, surgery and like. Slight body horror that doesn't make sense. Don't worry about it !]

Main functionality ones:

Arm and Legs – Self explanatory. They help him get to places and work on things, also the oldest ones out of all his works given they've just been consistently upgraded to better suit all his needs. Each limb has a name (Leonard, Leslie (legs), and Hal (Arm/hand)), and they all care dearly for their creator because even though it might be programmed into them, Mephisto doesn't just treat them as disposable tools. They also have tiny android forms for when they're not assisting 310 and are free to walk around/opinionate on anything they want to. Mephisto treats them better than it does an Average Person.

Spinal support — Another one that helps quite a bit. Standing up for too long or sitting down the wrong ways causes Mephisto a lot of pain, so they made a device to help them with remembering to take care of themselves in that regard. Enter, Simon: The spinal support bot that connects directly to their back through a simple mechanism around the back. Simon is divided in two parts– A small battery-bot that charges up everything, that can detach itself from the main component any time it runs low on juice and slither around if it wants, and the inbuilt structure, which is what forces Mrphisto's back to stay put together and pulls it back in case it slouches too much (happens Often).

Non-organic Organs — After getting literally brought back to life by A Curse, the shitty old magic from a thousand years ago didn't account for how organ failure would happen in case a body that was cold and lifeless came back swinging from the dead, and as such a lot of Mephisto's organs function weirdly/stop at random times. These were a necessity it didn't expect at first, but had to quickly figure out. They're mostly made of flexible synthetic material the body wouldn't reject, and took several dozens of attempts on other people to perfect before they could be inserted into its own body. Essentially just keep everything in function while also giving him some benefits he built into them, such as:

Being able to digest non-edible things through brand new stomach upgrade that now lines his insides with Bigger and Better acid that is only found in skags. And Mephisto now. No more tummy aches due to tummy now being made out of Actual Steel.

Heart now has extra pumps to help with weakness and fatigue without overpowering any functions. Also sounds a little weird whenever you press your head to its chest due to there being a Small Sized Engine in there

Awesome brain implant that doesn't allow for biological death to happen anymore through constant manipulation of grey mass and stimulation of neurons. and that has no ethical concerns attached to it. Don't worry about it too hard !

Full intestinal system update where most of it is replaced by a series of tubes that can continue functioning as normal with filtering and breaking down masses. And that body only complains Sometimes about.

Lung inserts that can distribute miniscule electricity pulses throughout the whole chest in order to keep them breathing and healthy. It was a doozy to install this one but hey, now breathing is finally automatic as it should be.

...And some others that aren't nearly as interesting, but that help nonetheless. How was Mephisto able to perform surgery on itself? The short answer is it didn't, its limbs did with help from a supercomputer on the feiling. Are its limbs qualified to do surgery? Who was the supercomputer? How many surgeries did it take to insert everything? Is there a lot of visible scarring for it? All great questions that you will never know the answer to because Mephisto will throw things at you if you ask them.

Lesser functionality ones.

Metallic throat insert — This one was mainly from paranoia of being choked or being bitten directly on the throat, but it doubles as many things. Not only does it protect Mephisto from attacks to the larynx and windpipe specifically, it's also got an in-built AAC device for communication even when the old vocal chords can't seem to muster anything up. Great for pissing off ventriloquists also.

Better Teeth that Don't Rot and Break due to Being Made Out Of Metal (Or just Upgraded Dentures / Jaw) — Self explanatory, I feel. Forgot to brush their teeth a lot during depressive periods and ran into many issues regarding that, and so decided the only way to get that fix was to get Better, Cooler teeth over those (once they got fixed up) that are retractable and can be made Sharper at a given brain command. Used to bite its tongue a lot due to this and it bled like a motherfucker, which Led to:

Tongue That Doesn't Hurt anymore — Again, self explanatory. Again, took a while to get used to, but ended up solving so many problems it didn't matter anymore. This one is more just a cover than a full-on replacement because that would hurt way too much and there was no guarantee it'd work for good without the original muscles. It did, but it was one of the scarier things Mephisto did to itself.

Now you might be thinking, "Magnus, that's an awful lot of things. How'd Mephisto get funding to do all that stuff? Or find material? Or even just do them in general, given they seem so far out of the realm of possibility?", and these are all pretty good questions, how did you know to ask them etc. But Let me try and answer them as much as possible without too many spoilers:

Mephisto works for anyone who gives it money. Sometimes its corporations (Whom they immediately steal info and material from also), sometimes it's individual people looking to buy things off their shop, sometimes its evil villains who need all sorts of machinery for their plans. He's not particularly picky with the source, so long as its consistent and upfront.

Refer to bullet point one. It is Stealing most of the time, but when it isn't, material is coming from either their own scavenging trips or from teams they specifically pay to find material and bring it to them.

Borderlands isn't real and the absurdity is part of what makes it one of my favorite things, but also, again. Supercomputer did it for them. It's probably fine !

[missoneminute]

Do you know if there's like a list of which songs Peter and Carl wrote bout eachother anywhere?

Hello! I did some write ups a while back which are here and here but it's incomplete and it doesn't go up to the Jackals or the new album and not everything in it I still agree with. Perhaps someone else would like to do an updated version. There's a LOT of songs that have small references to one another rather than being entirely about each other, but a short list of songs that feel like they are largely for one another would be (and there is some I am forgetting no doubt): Waterloo, Fuck Forever, Bang Bang You're Dead, Can't Stand Me Now, Sedative, Let It Rain, The Delaney, Unbilotitled, 8 Dead Boys, Bound Together, Skag & Bone Man, Plan A, Pay The Lady, Songs They Never Play on the Radio, Blood on My Shoes. And also the Shiver demo version obviously. x

[silverantagain]

Nighttime ramble! I'm rambling about Borderlands!

I finally got the time to download borderlands (and to trouble shoot it, it didn't want to play audio through my headphones which was annoying :P ), and normally I'm not a fan of first person shooters but it's actually a lot of fun! In fact, I've played so little fps games that I looked up who to play as 😭

Ummmmmm Claptrap is so silly. I wish there was a quick save function so I could shoot him :3 (I don't know if shooting him actually does anything and I'm scared to tryyyyy. What if he hates me :( )

I also really like the style of the textures, it looks nice, I like the sounds, I got jumpscared by a skag, AND I've only died 4 times :3 (once by falling off a cliff).

Idk if I'll draw fanart or write a fic, but if I do write a fic, let's be honest it'll probably be Claptrap. :P

[luxysspaceadventure]

pinballing off of me making claptrap into a human/crab-worm hybrid in an au, i think borderlands should have more spliced human hybrids actually. it could be a dude with skag armor growing on his skin or even something akin to tyreen fusing with the destroyer. lots of things to explore there!

[aardvark-123]

~Excessively Twee Borderlands Headcanons: Cuisine Edition~

Gaige has a big appetite, yet can easily forget to eat when she's busy vault hunting or tinkering with robots. It usually fell to Axton to remind her to eat; while he may not be the maturest of men, he understands that the body needs fuel. Gaige has made some attempts at cooking, but her marshmallow and crisp spaghetti carbonara proved to be an acquired taste.

Amara loves Partali's spicy, aromatic cuisine. She laments that few of the Six Galaxies' take-away dishes come close to the authentic taste of dhal makhani and a keema paratha. Her appetite is enormous, however, and she could eat a kilogramme of lamb biryani while complaining it isn't as good as her personal chef's.

Claptrap can bake. He hands out a lot of side-quests to fetch him ingredients, which he turns into delicious, albeit messily constructed pies, cakes, biscuits and loaves of bread. If you're nice to Claptrap, a surprisingly tall order for some people, you'll seldom find yourself without something in the cupboard.

Moze likes soup.

Ava is a veritable gourmet. As a homeless child, her favourite foods were "not rotten" and "provided willingly", treats which she didn't always manage to scavenge. When Maya adopted Ava, she made sure to feed her up, and Ava's palate broadened to the full extent of Athenian cuisine. Now she is an adventurous eater who loves trying new dishes, but will pretty much eat anything within two basic criteria: "not rotten" and "not too many olives".

The basics of cookery are also known to Ava. Although it's hardly her favourite activity- hardly, perhaps, the sort of activity she'd admit to enjoying- she can make pasta, okonomiyaki, salad, scrambled eggs and other simple dishes with aplomb. She used to send Maya anonymous Mothers' Day breakfasts, for which she'd refuse to admit any responsibility, because no way was she ever going to be cute. Food love stories, brought to you by the Crimson Raiders.

Lilith enjoys spicy food and is quite good at cooking. She isn't a fancy chef, but can be relied upon to make a lovely fried breakfast, tossed salad, or burger and chips.

FL4K doesn't eat, but they take great pains to secure good food for their pets. Meat-Thief loves fish and chips, Broodless likes a fruit salad, Mr Chew has a taste for Lancer tyres, and Ms Loader Bot partakes in only the finest Lithium Ion Batteries.

Salvador is quite the chef, a barbecue expert and master of Mexican-influenced-part-of-Pandora cuisine. He can be very particular about his ingredients; no, you can't use skag liver instead of bullymong chops, it'll ruin the flavour profile of the whole meal. And what do you MEAN ketchup's another kind of mole?!

Tannis has seven perennial favourite foods: boiled eggs, carrot cake, toast with peanut butter, bananas, rice balls, Salvador's famous bullymong pancita, and sausages. She used to love bacon, but gave it up for personal reasons.

Roland was always an accomplished sandwich artisan, with the ability to house delicious combinations of ingredients between two slices of bread. Sometimes he took it to strange excesses such as the pie sandwich (or Wigan kebab), the spaghetti carbonara sandwich (or Sloppy Giuseppe), and the full English breakfast sandwich (or Sandwich That Annoys Lilith Because It's Just Missing the Point).

[hyperionshipping]

🥰😡💞 for mr borderlands tricks :)

HIIII sorry for being late to answering this

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you?

THE TRUE Handsome Tricks shippers understand the complexities of these two. They're getting the dynamic down. Tricks isn't a helpless little uwu sub underneath Jack. He's a fully fledged adult man with underlying trauma and baggage.

They'd portray the day-to-day between these two perfectly while also having fun with it.

The true fans get the level of control Jack has while also knowing that Tricks has quite literally pulled a gun on Jack deathly calm. He WOULD have killed him then without hesitation. Yeah, he LOVES Jack but that relationship is not (and never was) "good" or "healthy.

😡: How would someone who hated you portray you?

GOD. Okay.

Handsome Tricks haters would fucking want this ship to SINK. They're blowing the boat up. People who hate it constantly mischaracterize both Tricks AND Jack.

They'd make Tricks too subby and compliant around Jack or absolutely turn up Tricks hatred towards Jack WAY too much. There's a balance and complexity to this that fans who hate the ship wouldn't bother to see. (Too much reading between the lines and knowing how rocky/dodgy relationships work)

Additionally people who hated us would consistently say the ship is glorifying abuse and bad relationships because Tricks is totally a changed man (he is not. In game scenes, dialogue, echo logs + more prove that he HAS mellowed down but he has not changed. It's integral to his story that he ISN'T changed. Because it's directly what allows Jack to gain such control)

💞: Aside from with your f/o, who else would you commonly be shipped with? Why?

Honestly? I'm not too sure.

I could see people shipping him with Tim as a rebound thing. Tricks (canonically) can tell the doppelgangers apart but I've toyed with them (Tim and him) having slightly more interactions.

I think people would like the idea of Tricks and him hooking up because it'd be a fun way to play with Tricks' insecurities and the fact that Tim truly can't escape Jack's shadows.

I think what would be popular with this ship is them running Hyperion. Like nothing happened. Neither feels GOOD about it and there's constant bickering.

Lots of fics written out where Tim is loudly yelling about Jack being DEAD. "He's GONE Tricks. Dead as roadkill. Skag food. Why can't you accept that? You weren't ever this dumb before."

"You sound just like him. How's the DNA injections going hmm? You're more and more like him everyday. Hey, when you die, I bet it'll be just. Like. Him. No one remembers Timothy Lawrence. You're just Jack's pet. Your leash is gonna hook on something and you'll choke to death. How ironic for Handsome Jack. Death by choking."

A relationship between these two is even WORSE than Tricks and Jack. I think some people would write it as Tim and Tricks overcoming their own traumas but like... again.. Tricks doesn't change and he doesn't get better with time.

I could also see one or two people shipping him with Rhys for obvious reasons. He's never done right within any ship with Rhys.

And I could see something with Vasquez. But it'd be a relationship purely out of blackmail. He's showing Tricks off like some prize to be like Jack. Tricks would think constantly about cutting his dick off. But he knows too much about The Demon and it's only a matter of time...

[pinkdinkydoon]

Bo.rderl.ands INSERT DUMP BELOW 🤠🌾🌇

I do a lot of talking about her on discord so here!!! WARNING. it's a lot.

1. Give a basic run-down of your s/i. What should we know about them right away? 💛🔆

Born and raised only NEAR opportunity, Law (Lici) Waller Marsh (she/he) is looking to aquire at job at Hyperion. She basically ""passes with flying colors"" as Jack puts it. (She was the only person who applied and he desperately needed an assistant) and so she instantly becomes a Head Hyperion Employee. ID card and all. 3 years passes, she quits and becomes a Crimson Raider.

2. What role does your s/i play in canon? Do they have a large role or do they just sort of exist within canon? 🧡📙

She has a decent role in canon. She's ""basically"" second in command in Hyperion and ECHO calls the main group a good handful of times to talk about missions and talk on Jack's behalf. Maya and Zer0 could immediately tell she mostly meant good. Every time she called she'd be like "Hiii Bandits! Law here! Jack's in a meeting right now but! My schedule here says... *pause to read* ... hm. *ahem* lici taunt those stupid vault hunters or your fired I will check your echolog... PFF. He never means that. Alright you guys ready?.... you guys suck balls. Insane skag balls. You're parents are dead and hate you and youre... all ugly and... uhm. I bet your guns are maliwan! Haha! Ok I did it. Check that off the list... good killing vault hunters."

When she joins the team I think she plays a big role in the morality of who they let join, and her previous affiliations. Etc etc.

3. In canon, was your f/o the first person your s/i met? Or did your s/i encounter someone else first? 💫🪐

Yes Jack is the first major character she meets. Regretfully. The two are very quick to get close since jack is very needy CEO. She's hired the day of her interview and he immediately gets her a house in Opportunity so that she's close by. She's adapts to his habits quick. Such as sleeping in his office. What he orders on specfic days, specific moods, specific times. Jack noticed compared to all his other assistants who attempted to go with his flow... she immediately started categorizing and writing and filing her personal mannerisms and memorizing them so she wouldn't get fucking killed. And with that also he adapts with her and she adapts with him. He does small things like slower his pace in walking, starts leaving notes instead of relying on her 100%, gifts in her office. She definitely becomes more violent and normal with killing along with her behavior to other people.

4. Excluding your f/o, does your s/i get along well with anyone else in canon? Is there anyone they don’t like? Is there someone that doesn’t like them? 🐥🏵

Yes. Claptrap for one. A big thing is when they meet they get along instantly and he's part of why she'd able to join the raiders a lot quicker than other people. They bone ONCE, and it automatically gets to his head and every time he talks to anyone abt her. He'll bring it up, and then be normal and be like "yeah we're close friends! She's my FAVORITE MINION!"

Please imagine him talking to lilith about her and she's like "I don't really trust her wi-" "Yeah we boned what about it. But yeah lilith I THINK you should learn to be more accepting"

Another person she gets along well with is Mordecai. When she explains why she quit he's like "I like you" and she's like "I'm a peice of shit." "Idc" the two of them bond a lot of drinks... like apple juice n whiskey, whatevea. They also both like walking! Just normal walking around and it's just. Simply normal.

5. What’s that one thing that your s/i is always associated with? Even if some people aren’t very familiar with them, what’s that one thing your s/i is known for? 🌅🌟

The color yellow. Forever. She is forever the hyperion lady. Think of the statue of liberty for America. She's like that. With how much she did and how much jack advertised himself and her as like the future of pandora.

(I like to think Rhys owns hyperion and atlas. My version says so) And even then she's made such an impact of like. Office work style. Like even entering the office again for the first time since Jack's death they're like "HOLY SHIT THATS LAW." and Rhys is like "damn they barely remember MY name"

Even when she takes rhe yellow out of her outfit after jacks death she's just. Forever stuck with it. Personally Designed gifts are always in yellow. New gun from Marcus for a birthday gift? It's yellow. Plate at dinner with the gang? Yellow plastic. Contact in people's echos? Law 🟨

6. How would your f/o describe your s/i? 🎭🔔

"Law? Shit forgot that was her legal name. Lici, lici, lici. Hm. She's my girl! Shes aaaaa... hardworker. Sometimes she does too much, sometimes she doesn't DO ENOUGH. She needs to find a damn middle ground it's been 3 years- oh! She makes the BEST macadamia nut cookies on pandora, you will have an orgasm. She's ruthless! She funny- not as much as me but she makes me laugh. Hm? .... no we are NOT dating. She's like uhh. My work wife! She does the cooking, the cleaning, the organizing. I make the money. You get it. Hm. She's. She's something. I keep her around cause of it all."

7. Is there anything your s/i is afraid of? Is your s/i usually brave or a coward?✨️🎖

Normally a very straightforward and "brave" mindset. She's very. GET IT DONE NOW RATHER THAN LATER. But a thing she's scared of is absolutely the Warrior, Sirens in general. Not like terrified, but seeing what they do. And knowing lilith doesn't like her and how jack described Angel always keeps her on an edge around them. If Maya were to move wrong she'd take so many steps back. To avoid any of the tales she had be told. Lilith not liking her and her not liking lilith is something that always keeps her on edge too. Any conversation she's basically on the verge of bolting and Roland can absolutely tell.

8. If someone wanted to get closer to your s/i, what would they have to do to attract them? ⚠️🟡

Be named handsome jack....? I don't know. Part of what makes her even think about getting it on with claptrap is his goofiness and his ability to make her laugh. Jack does make her laugh a lot too, but he's also an insane douchebag. It's just a draw of luck. Claptrap got what Jack didn't.

9. What’s your s/i’s ideal date?📔🪙

"Please God I don't want to kill something I just wanna seem like a good person for at least an hour."

"Sweetheart this is pandora."

10. What’s something about your s/i that someone wouldn’t expect from them? 🔅🔱

"You know what handsome Jack's house looks like?"

"It's not a big deal. And we never did anything I just. Slept there."

"No you don't get it. He has a house where he takes ladies and an ACTUAL place."

"Yeah *I know that.* I'm talking about his actual place."

"We don't know where that is."

"................"

"Law te-"

"OH WHATS THAT IS- IS ZER0 CALLING ME?? I HAVE TO GO."

"Zer0 doesn't ta-"

Jack jokes aside. Uhm. Baking is one. For sure. Master baker baby, when she's not killing or organizing shit to lords end. Ask jack he will ramble about her sweets for hours.

11. Would your s/i consider themselves a bad person/evil? Would other characters in canon consider them a bad person/evil? 🪸🌻

Vast majority would call her bad/evil. Jack has the whole good guys mindset he integrated into her and when she realized what she was doing was bad she was like. Ohhhh goddd. And she stayed in that lane for a very long time. I think BL3 is where she's like. Finally accepted as some kinda good guy of sorts although other people would say other wise, which goes back to her impact on pandora w jack. What let's her become good is the Crimson Raiders watching her- allow jack to die. She never made the effort to revive him, but she did weep. But all that mattered is that she let him die. So after that lilith was like "ok she's good. Im leavin" while Maya was like "??? AuGh- shes?? Sobbing can we??" "Nah leave her. She needs to work out her emotions."

12. Is your s/i honest? Is there anything they’ve lied about to other characters in canon? ☀️🫙

She would never lie to jack. She'd withhold information but he'd fine out eventually. One time she lied to him was his AI version of himself. And that was when he asked. "Did you EVER at least touch the vault key. Did you ever consider coming back." And yes she did consider many many times and she just goes. "No. I knew what was right."

Ans to the vault key. A lie to both jack and lilith, she held it once. Despite just abt everyone saying she should never be able to be near it or hold it or anything. She did. And she never told anyone and just thought about the consequences.

13. In a scenario where your s/i never meant your f/o, what would they be doing now? Would much change about them? 🪔☢️

She'd be dead. In a world where she doesn't get the job she attempted to become some kinda vault hunter and would fucking DIE cause she has 0 experience and is NOT that skilled with weapons or pandora as a whole. She is fucked over. Immediately.

Extra Stuff

Law dies inside the handsome jackpot.

I think. Other than the vault hunters there and Tim, I'm dragging Rhys and mordecai into it. She goes FOR Tim n Mox, and then is like "you bozos are coming with me." And mordecai is like "nooooo pleaseee I've been trying to relax this whole time you can't make me do something now." And Rhys is like "anything for ex-hyperion /sarcastic"

So by extension AI jack goes and like yesss time with my gal <- can't even talk to her unless she has the eye contact in. She did not.

And I think she gets 3/4th through it. Before dying to something absolutely stupid. And dying she's like. "Wow. I'm dying in the Handsome Jackpot. A thing I helped fund, build, went too. And now I'm dying in it."

And mordecai is like "NOOO GOD DAMN IT!!! First mission I go on in a long time and law is dying " and Rhys is like "awe. I've heard. A lot of bad things abt her BUT ALSO GOOD THINGS. So this is a lil sad (didn't know her well)"

Ans then ai jack is like "RHYSIE DO SOMETHING????" "erhm I cant." "YES, YOU CAN REVIVE HER, you can HEAL her." "We are way too late for that she's got less than a thirty seconds of life left"

When the mission is over they don't. Take her body at all. It just stays there.

Forever stuck in this "shadow", stuck in this shade of yellow, stuck with a legacy. Stuck as Handsome Jack's Assistant, even as a Crimson Raider. She'll die on that hill, and that hill was hyperion.

Relationships with Characters 🦗🌞

Claptrap: Besties first and foremost. Close in a sense that it started off as a way to piss off jack to, this GUY IS HILARIOUS. I love him so much. fucked ONCE, never again.

Mordecai: Quick to bond over blood wing, realize they have a lot in common. They like just talking in general too. Their rooms are near each other.

Brick: "mordecai likes you, you're good in my book" "👍 thank fuckin god"

Lilith: mutual dislike, but a mutual goal. Although the goal for Law was NOT to kill Jack and just put him out a power. Lilith always has to make it clear that HE NEEDS TO DIE. they clash a lot.

Roland: "you seem terrified of me" "I am." "You don't need to be" they get along fairly well. She's just as devastated his death as she is with angels. Similar closeness.

Tina: helped design her raidefs outfit. Shocker. "YOURE A SERIOUS, and I mean SERIOUS lady-man you gotta luh-luh-let LOOOSE! Show SOME SKIN!!!! CHOP UP! THE HYPERION BUTTON UP!!" "not my button up-" "AGHHHH THE BUTTON UP!!!

Jack: codependent in a kind of way. Jack adores how she works and also didn't realize he was so used to her as a person. That they litteraly still stay in contact even when she switches sides. It's jarring for them both to comprehend. Clearly in love, nothing ever comes of it in their canon. Only a final kiss for Jack's death and then a final kiss from his ai version for her death.

Rhys: "I thought you were a myth hyperion made up to motivate workers to possibly work alongside jack" "No I. I'm very much real. And NOT hyperion anymore." After TFBL and Rhys detachment from the old hyperion. he has this. Odd distaste for. He sees a lot of Jack in her and they both have that witty banter him and Jack had when the AI was more active.

Torgue: "I'm here for buisness reasons" "OK BUT ITD BE COOL IF YOU TESTED SOME OF MY NEW PRODUCTS OUT!!!!!!!!!" ".....ok" and then Jack or lilith are like "why were you there for so long."

Maya: previously mentioned fear of Sirens still there for law but Maya is definitely what makes her more comfortable with them. They get along decently well and Maya just has like. A lot of hope for Law and Law has this admiration for Maya. Mutual appreciation

Zer0: they like building things together. Guns, crafts, etc. But Law also likes finding new emolji faces that they can upload to their face somehow. It's a challenge in a way.

Axton: law sees a little bit of jack in him. And it intimidates her a lil bit seeing that in anyone BUT jack. But axton reluctantly helps her secretly get hyperion/jack posters for her room in sanctuary so she can feel more comfortable. And she's like "thankkkk youuuu" "when you betray us I get the first shot"

Krieg: "MAYAS SO COOL!" "YEAH SHE IS" that's it.

Salvador: steals her guns cause she's hyperion. Has to put them in a locked up thing and like. Do many extra precautions.

Hammerlock: I hate British people /J. Hammerlocke cannot get a single word in without like "shut up you're british" "YOU ARE EX-HYPERION!!!!!!"

Gaige: they have a secret handshake, let it be known

More stuff on Law and Jacks death

Ok that's it. There MIGHT be more. 🪐💫😭

[fluffehpenguin]

STUDY IN ORANGE - CHAPTER 1

A Study in Orange - Chapter 1 - fluffehpenguin - Borderlands (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

“I’m the one you set as the emergency safeguard?” The figure scowls, arms crossed. “Are... Are you just sadistic enough to put me in that thing,” its finger points to the hexagon on his tattered jacket, “So I can rot out here with your corpse, Jack?”

Silence and sand stand between them, unhurried. And it takes a moment to click, but it hits him like a bumper to a skag.

“That’s- my name’s John, pumpkin, but you’re acting real high and mighty for an AI.”

it's here! after 4+ years of working on it, picking it up and putting down writing, the re-do is here!!

also I'm looking for a beta/proofreader - feel free to dm me if you wanna volunteer!! it won't be fast paced, since I'm a slow writer, but I tend to make a lot of grammatical errors & I'd love someone to bounce ideas off of!!

[lord-radish]

I've almost finished Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel, and I've gotta say, the Claptastic Voyage DLC is the Borderlands 1 throwback I was waiting for. It still has that overexaggerated Borderlands 2 comic relief in the main level, but there was a really nice throwback with Dr. Zed and Patricia Tannis, and I think they reused BL1 assets in the BL2 engine which was a cute touch.

I played a lot of Borderlands 1 as a teenager, and I only played the second game as an adult years later. That first game is really empty and dry and a little generic and flaky for the most part, but I really enjoy that spread-out, lonely feeling mixed with the PvE with the skags and rakk and stuff.

It isn't particularly light on dialogue, but it pales in comparison to the second game, where every mission has at least eight entirely voiced lines and random citizens make dubstep noises as you walk around the main hub area - I prefer the sparseness.

Borderlands: the Pre-Sequel is cut entirely from the cloth of Borderlands 2, and it's not a bad thing because BL2 is a technological upgrade from the first game and has way more functionality and flexibility on a gameplay scale. But it also takes after the second game way, way more than the first game, in that the dialogue is fairly dense and they're going for an actual story with key players, not a morally dubious treasure hunt sign-posted with story missions. The humor also has that thing where it's always undercutting itself and it feels like it's trying too hard - more of a BL2 thing than a BL1 thing.

Jack is a very talky character in the Pre-Sequel, given his prominent role and being set up for Borderlands 2, and you have the game's framing device as well which provides running commentary the whole time. You have a motif of heroes and villains not being who you thought they were, which I wasn't super into. It's very much Borderlands 2.5 in function rather than Borderlands 1.5, and while it's understandable on a gameplay level, I just didn't vibe with how hard the story and dialogue tries.

That being said? Claptastic Voyage is another page out of that book, but through the framing device of you going through Claptrap's memories, it acts as more of a bridge between the first two games than the main game does imo. I'm not done yet, but going back to this virtual Fyrestone to get this MacGuffin was a cute segment.

I also like Claptrap for the most part, even if he has a reputation for being a flat comic relief character in the first game. His hateablity was ramped up for the second game and he was turned into a caricature for the sake of humor, but I found it much more obnoxious when the second game continued to shit on him and outright call him unloved than even his small repertoire of canned lines in the first game.

He wasn't perfect in BL1, nor was he a sacred cow - one of my favorite parts of the first game was the Claptrap that gets ganked in the Island of Dr. Ned DLC. But he wasn't the outright punching bag and serial annoyance he was in the second game. Basically, I'm more in line with Angel's "funny little robot" comment than BL2 starting off by ripping out his eye and giving him an inferiority complex.

The Pre-Sequel proper and the DLC still has Claptrap being the point of much mockery and derision, but through seeing his memories and having his inner world be the setting of the DLC - having the character of Claptrap as a focus, in both the BL2 school of beating the shit out of him and giving him more of a straightforward way of addressing the past of BL1 - I think this DLC has bridged the gap between the games a whole lot more than the base Pre-Sequel game did.

To sum up my feelings, it's like the Pre-Sequel existed first and foremost to flesh things out for the second game - the next chronological entry in the series, released two years before - and the Claptastic Voyage DLC is acting more as a bridge between Borderlands 1 and 2. Borderlands 2.5 vs Borderlands 1.5, at least as far as tone and vibes go, even if the DLC still focuses a ton on that BL2 quality of writing.

[forensicated]

04x25 - Chasing The Dragon

CID are on an OBBO on the Rochester Estate. They're bored and aren't even sure where their suspects are supposed to be. Jim insists that his snout has too much to lose to lie to him. Though how they can keep saying they've not seen anything given Jim's chair is wound back and his eyes are closed and Mike's slumped mostly below the level of the windows that he's side on facing on the back seat I don't know....! The only one sat up is Ted.

Malcolm and Pete spot some pretty spectacularly poor parking outside a bookies. Pete wants to pull him but Malcolm reckons he'll be out as soon as he's put a bet on and it's not worth the paperwork. Pete thinks the car looks hooky and he wants a look at it. "It's practically brand new...?" "That's what I mean!"

The CID boys have gotten out of the car and are looking around to stretch their legs. This time from a car that has caught Ted's eye. Luckily, he's watching because it's the drug deal they'd been waiting for! Unfortunately, however, the personal radios are playing up so Ted makes his way down by himself. The car speeds off before he can get to the bottom of the stairs so he runs to the CID car with the car radio and circulates the description of the men, car, and the registration.

Malcolm spots the car and has to press his horn for Pete. Pete has to choose between arresting the man who has just come out of the bookies or joining Malcolm. He chooses Malcolm. They chase the black capri and Pete thinks he made the right choice with Malcolm as he thinks nicking these dealers might just get him back into CID. The dealers drive erratically and crash so Malcolm and Pete get out to make chase. Pete manages to catch his but three punks stop Malcolm from catching his.

Ted, Jim and Mike catch them up and check the boot of the car and find a lot of drugs. The suspect is silent and refuses to even acknowledge them. In his search, Ted spots a skipping rope underneath the car and kneels to check it out further. There's a pool of blood slowly spreading... "Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance now!" A young woman looks over the balcony searching for her daughter. She spots the police around a crashed car and Ted holding the skipping rope and screams her daughter's name.

Viv accompanies the girl's mother to the hospital. The daughter has serious head injuries and has been rushed into surgery. Derek urges Tom to ensure that everyone involved files a report as soon as they're back and he wants to see Jim, Mike and Ted in his office. Derek asks how Tom is coping with being back. He thinks he's absolutely fine but Derek doesn't agree, he thinks he's looking and sounding much better than he has for a long time.

Ken and Claire are at a Laundrette to deal with reports of a fracas. Ken isn't happy as they get called often to deal with petty squabbles and it ties up a lot of police time. Two women are arguing over a machine, one claims that the other put her washing in 'her' machine and so she pulled it out. This has coated the floor with water and soap. Ken ends up falling flat on his arse. Claire shouts at the arguing women to shut up and orders the one who damaged the machine by forcing the door open to tidy it up.

As they bring their suspect in, Pete repeatedly tells Malcolm that they got to the car first so he is their collar. He doesn't want CID to get the glory when it's the job that can get him where he wants to be.

Derek is not in the mood to be messed with when CID arrives in his office. He shouts at Ted not to call him Guv but to call him Sir. He asks why he hasn't had a written report from them and Ted starts to say he thought it best that they came and spoke to him. Derek doesn't agree. Reg listens with his ear at the door as Derek tears them a new one.

Pete pushes the suspect into an interview room and tells him they have him hook line and sinker for driving a car full of skag and likely nicking the car in the first place. He's screaming in the man's face until Malcolm shouts at him to stop. He only stops for a few seconds though before adding manslaughter to his potential charges and asks who he's been dealing for.

Still, he stays quiet. Pete loses his temper, calls him a stupid little skag-end and storms out. Malcolm takes exactly the opposite approach - a typical good cop/bad cop measure. He sits on the table in front of the boy, asking in a soft and measured tone what his name is. This time he answers. He's called Michael Squire and he lives on the Rochester Estate. He didn't even see the girl, he was driving to get away from the police. He tells him not to listen to Pete. "You're dealing with me now."

It still remains touch and go for the girl, Reg tells him not to go through to tell Conway just yet as he's still bollocking CID. "What a voice!" he laughs before quickly covering. "... I could hear them through the door!"

Malcolm tells Alec that Michael doesn't know who the man who got away is, but he has given him a list of places that the man is supposed to go to tonight to get the money for the drugs. Alec praises him and goes through to charge Michael.

With Frank on leave, Derek agrees to let Pete and Malcolm see the case through. Malcolm is going undercover on the Rochester to try and nail him. He commends them for how they've handled the case so far.

The young lad asks Alec what will happen to him. Alec sighs, shakes his head and tells him to sleep on it.

The doctor comes through to talk to Viv and Debbie's mum. She tells them that Debbie is awake and asking for a drink. Viv comforts her mum as she breaks down in relief.

Pete is still full of the joys of what Conway said, telling Malcolm that he too would do good in CID. "I'm following this case through because I want that bloodsucker off the street!" Malcom reminds Pete. He's not interested in using it as progression. "I just don't like your methods." "Yeah well, they get results!"

Malcolm is welcomed into a party on the Rochester Estate and introduces Pete as his brother-in-law. They agree to catch up later. The man lets Malcolm in but won't let Pete in. Inside Malcolm hears a man threatening a lad - the one who got away from them that afternoon. The man wants his money and drugs but the police have ended up with them. The man won't listen to excuses and gives the boy until the end of the night to get them to him. Malcolm leaves the party and updates Pete who grabs the lad at the bottom of the stairs. He is terrified and stuck between a rock and a hard place. He gives the address of the big boss and the boys pass it on to Derek who takes it to Ted and the CID boys. (... Derek's calmed down as he doesn't react when Ted calls him guv.)

Pete and Malcolm wait for CID to arrive. Ted joins them in the car as Jim removes the prisoner to his. "Don't try anything silly, he's not as well brought up as we are."

Pete points out the big boss man's expensive flat and the flash Merc - the one that was parked outside the bookies that morning - just outside. Malcolm and Pete are sent by Ted to go and make him jumpy. Ted, Jim and Mike stay outside as backup to be 'ready when he lands.' A woman answers the bell and so Malcolm covers that they're simply looking for the owner of the car outside. She lets them up and answers the door with most of her top buttons open which definitely distracts Pete! She leads them inside the flat where her boyfriend welcomes them to make themselves at home. He makes the girlfriend get drinks but they refuse so she makes just him one. Malcolm asks him to get dressed so they can take him down to the station. The suspect laughs and says he's clean and the place is clean so it's a massive waste of time. He suggests they have a few drinks and relax. Pete says the same thing and then that they'll return with a warrant and take the place apart if he doesn't. He just scoffs and tries to buy them off. Malcolm shouts at him to get dressed and confiscates his car keys. "I need the car for the girl man." "We want to see what's locked in your garages.... sir."

They open the garage doors and find it full of obviously stolen property as well as at least 2 metal suitcases full of drugs. "Bingo!"

[tvguidancecounselor]

TV Guidance Counselor Episode 615: Mike Doughty

February 16-22, 1980

This week Ken welcomes musician, author and man behind the new lp "Ghosts of Vroom III", Mike Doughty.

Ken and Mike discuss how 1980 was a good poignant television year in Mike's life, being a military kid, how a year of no Mork & Mindy leads to a year of no TV at all, The American Forces Network, the outro credit song on WKRP in Cincinnati, finding out what music you like from Sitcoms, Angel Witch, the consistency of television, moving a lot, how we'd all be better off as accountants, the exciting and elusive world of commercials, Zapping your Zinger, living in Germany, specific PSAs made for AFN by the original cast of SNL, how TV reporters made the world worse by trying to sign off impressively, The Superbowl, learning about American culture via Commercials, Norman Fell, six ways to cry, dramas spun off from comedies, Lou Grant, Cop Rock, Quincy M.E., Skag with Karl Malden, Last Resort, CHiPs, dripping in Orchestral disco, how analog synth lasers make everything better, theme songs that chart, Starsky and Hutch, Mr. Smith, the prevalence of Orangutans and apes in television and movies, CB Radios, BJ and the Bear, Citizen's Band, pretending to be a doctor, how comedy never works on live music shows, how music often DOES work on comedy shows, avoiding OJ Simpson's acting work, Alice, Linda Lavin, the 70s shows that went well into the 80s, the horror of the word "booger", being Dr. Johnny Fever, Barney Miller, seeing TV sitcom actors on Broadway, coded gay characters, The White Shadow, Goldie and Liza Together, Bob Newhart's sketch comedy special, Real People, how the death of disco lead to mud wrestling and wet t-shirt contents, being confused for a real people person when you're a Real People person, when political debates became roast battles, Dragnet, The Rockford Files, young Powers Booth, old fashioned typewriters, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk, The Hulk Out List, doing Bill Moyers, dueling Merv Griffins, the made for-TV movie Detour to Terror, buses, photos of Lorenzo Lamas, and recommending Blacke's Magic.

[love-birds-stuff]

HALF PAST MIDNIGHT. (A little drabble of stargazing and wishful thinking.)

↳ Ceolacanth/Sasha

Ceolacanth finds Sasha perched on the roof of the caravan, looking out at the stars, the metal creaks under his weight and she turns back to look at him like a hawk sizing up it's prey, her hand instinctively reaching for her gun, the Atlas Silver she'd taken quite a liking to.

"You're still up," He whispers, to no one but the night sky, plunks himself down next to her, earning a quiet hum in response as her shoulders slump, visibly relaxing. Good enough.

It was a lot nicer up there than being crammed with four other people and two robots, the cool night air a welcome reprieve from how stuffy the caravan got these days. They actually had some room to breathe, Ceolacanth mused. The stretch of silence was comfortable, peaceful, and if he tried hard enough he could just about ignore the sound of skags in the distance. Just barely.

And so they stood in silence, just watching the stars and the clouds drifting through a dark sky. It'd been a few years since he'd gone stargazing, it was nice.

"Huh." Ceolacanth mused outloud, "We didn't have those back home." He points to a bundle of stars, grouped together in what vaguely resembles a cross. Sasha's eyes follow, she'd never really paid attention to it before.

"Really?" She asks, shifts so her weight is leaning on her hip, somewhere between sitting and lying down.

Ceolacanth wasn't from here, that was clear as day. The way he spoke gave it away, stressing the 'r's a little too hard, slurring some words into one big jumble on the occasion. It still carried that same tinge from the border planets, just not quite. Whatever the case, he'd blended in well enough, Sasha could respect that much.

"Yeah." He replies, finger tracing a shape of the constellation as if he were trying to draw lines between each star. Sasha watches him, in his own little world. Age had worn at his features the same way it had her sister's, even in the darkness the light crease under his eyes as he furrowed his brows was unmistakable. "Dunno, I think you'd like it there."

"Uh huh?" She snorted, somehow she doubted it. Though a part of her, childish and hopeful entertained the though, maybe somewhere closer to the inner planets, far from Pandora. It quickly gets snuffed once reality settles in again, they're both stuck here and she doubts he'd even be here in the first place if he had a way out. She's heard it before, empty promises tossed to the wind. Thing is, he wasn't making any promises. Just spitballing hypotheticals.

"Eh, maybe it's just wishful thinking," He concedes, turning to look at her. And he smiles, nose crinkling with the motion. Maybe she'll indulge, just for one night.

[bardkin]

hearthome posting about Skag Domestication & Imported Pets.

Pandora houses (a lot of) predator-class creatures, super-sized insectoid-arachnids, and various megafauna. pretty much all of which are extremely territorial to the point of people openly describing the wildlife as “more than happy to attack you.” (hell, even the plants can be hostile.)

skags are one such creature; kind of a fucked up reptile-dog with a vertical, bisected mouth. they’ll eat genuinely anything, but whatever they cannot digest is regurgitated. (they also eat and defecate out of the same hole. i.e. their mouth. something something, circular/looping digestive tract.) they’re pack animals, similar in hierarchy structure to wolves or hyenas. They communally raise their young, and sometimes split off from their family pack when they’re old enough to mate.

aren't they cute? 💖

within the games, they serve as early, non-human enemy fodder, with stronger variants as you progress. throughout the series, there’s been several instances of clearly domesticated skags. Scrappy, in BL1. Dukino, Willy, and Ol' Pukey, in BL2, and Benjamin Blue in BL:TPS. (there was one or two in BL3, owned by Tiny Tina, but the wiki has yet to list them by name, and I don’t feel like traipsing through the game itself to find out.) this also counts for skags that are used as mounts, in place of a horse-like animal.

so you might be wondering: “Steven! Why in the everliving Hell would anyone want to even get close to these animals, let alone domesticate them?” or maybe not, idk-

to which i answer, uhhHhh, humans will packbond with anything lol

a lot of skags are used for protection, since they're tougher than dogs, armored, and some even have elemental affinities! there's not really any dedicated "domestic skag" breeding programs, as most pet skags are taken from the wild & hand-raised at a very young age.

which got me thinking: Pandora (as well as the border planets in general) visually lacks any kind of common domesticated pets. cats and dogs alike are referenced enough, but are never shown in any of the games. one of Brick’s dogs is shown via a flashback, but only illustrated. there’s no in-game models of cats, dogs, or hell, even birds (aside from Bloodwing, but she’s an alien bird so it doesn’t count).

and you’d think, for a planet teaming with humans that came from other settled planets... that we’d see at least some pets they brought over. right?

in-game, nah. but they clearly Exist on Pandora & her moon, Elpis, and arguably on any other planet in the border worlds, thanks to characters referencing them: Handsome Jack had a cat (or two), several characters mention their love or distaste for cats, Brick as a whole owned two/three separate dogs (that were unfortunately killed, and who’s paws he wears in remembrance), and that’s just stuff off the top of my head!

so like. where are the cats? where are the dogs?

they’re part of the world, but not important enough to the story to be shown in-game. but they are There, and there's a pretty sizeable stray population on Pandora alone; mostly centralized in settlements and cities. in the wild it's generally kept down by all the local fauna. you'll see plenty of "proper" pet cats, dogs, and other pets in corporate-funded settlements and big cities.

metatextuality, they were most likely out of the budget. or it’s possible the writers were like “this would be a good running joke, where we mention earth pets/animals but never have any show up (except in One inspirational poster that, in-universe, might just be a drawn illustration).”

but that's honestly just a guess on my part lol