#lotrxhp

[rhosinthorn]

sold my soul to the calling

Author’s Note: This is a piece that will probably be formalized and posted on AO3 before I start posting the sequels. It’s a bit of an experiment for me as I played with different ways to discuss the many names that fem!Harry takes on in the Steady is the Hand universe and some of the reasons behind them. Let me know if the experiment is successful!

She was born over and over again.

Harry Potter was born screaming into the world from Lily Potter’s efforts, and she died in spite of them as Voldemort levelled his wand at her. The Girl Who Lived was carried away from Godric’s Hollow and died again on the doorstep of Number Four Privet Drive. Freak was born in a cupboard and died on a stormy night on a hut on a rock in the middle of the sea, only for the Girl Who Lived to rise again.

Seeker. Champion. Victor.

Slytherin’s Heir. Cheater. Liar.

Goddaughter.

Chosen One.

Undesirable Number One.

Just Harry, daughter of James and Lily, goddaughter of Sirius, died in the Forbidden Forest.

The Girl Who Conquered rose up and killed Tom Marvolo Riddle.

The Master of Death walked away from Dumbledore’s grave, the Elder Wand returned to its rightful place for the time being, stone tucked reluctantly in her pocket, unable to give it up quite yet.

Auror Potter. Aunt Harry. Lady Potter. Lady Black. 

She smiled for cameras and drank herself down to the bottom of every bottle she could find. She rose high through the ranks of the Aurors. She fell down in the darkness of the alleyways outside clubs, seeking out something, anything, that would make the pain go away.

She was born again, gasping and heaving over the toilet bowl as she detoxed herself. As she learned how to be a functional human being again. As she remembered how to be Teddy’s aunt, and not look at him and remember that she was going to have to watch him die someday.

And some part of her died once more as the Ministry started turning against her, afraid of the parts of herself that she hated, afraid that their chosen one had lived long enough to become the villain. It started in the gossip pages and trickled into the halls of the Ministry, until there was nothing to do but make escape plans and strategies.

Harry Potter died on the street in front of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, wand whipping around to shield just a half second too late for three different spells to hit the portkey that she was in the process of activating. In the moment before everything went supernova, two more spells hit her wand.

Harry Potter was born gasping in the jagged canyons of the Ram Duath, holly wand a burnt stub in her hand, beyond all repair this time. Furious and frightened, she picked herself up and plunged forward, emerging battered and bruised, with several new scars and a wyrm tooth in each hand.

Harry Potter died in the Ram Duath, staggering out of the menacing black canyons with a wyrm tooth in each hand, covered in blood and dirt.

Bronach of the Trev Gallorg was born anew in the eyes of her people, around the fires of Aughaire amidst much merriment.

Bronach of the Trev Gallorg died, dumped outside of Donnvail, back in tatters from a whip’s cruel kiss.

The Ranger Thuri was born as she swore her oaths to the lady Gilrain in the hidden refuge of Esteldin, oaths tailored to her unique circumstances and the war that they feared would break upon them in the coming years, and Thuri died on the Fields of Fornost, shot down by orcish arrows as she bore messages from Tinnudir to Esteldin.

Holly Blake was widowed as she was born, with her wagon of belongings and a herd of sheep trailing behind her she settled into her small farm outside of Bree and quickly became a fixture of life around the village. She faded slowly as Thuri was reborn, until the Ranger remained and the widow disappeared.

Thuri Runil lived only in the histories, only in the stories of the mighty battle on the Pelannor, the flame of her grief the only thing noteworthy about her, utterly missing the woman underneath.

Baurion, Cennanial, Elain, Lilias...the cycle continued, birth and death in a neverending sphere. Yet she kept coming back to Aughaire, always returning, finding home as Bronach, until eventually Bronach she stayed, the others just masks to don or discard at need.

The cycle stilled, but not quite over. 

[rhosinthorn]

Steady is the Hand Ch 8

They reached the doors as darkness fell.

The Fellowship enters the Mines of Moria.

Read here (FFN) or here (Ao3)!

[rhosinthorn]

Steady is the Hand Ch 3

Now live here (FFN) and here (AO3). Thanks for reading!

[rhosinthorn]

Because I have exactly 0 impulse control, I am 10k into the sequel to the 124k monster LotRxHP fic and have barely edged into the second day.

This does not bode well for this not becoming another monster fic.

[rhosinthorn]

You honestly get stuck on the weirdest things when writing.

Tonight it’s palace layout in Annuminas.