#lothering au

[secretsimpleness]

Brought to you by @butter-and-too-much-bread, who shared to me this idea in... 2020... Warden Cousland, Allison, Sten, Darkspawn 1 and 2 / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware

[spainkitty]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Part 1 Chapter 3: hold thy hand, hold it back awhile

More DAO cameos! Including my Cousland, whom I refuse to admit died despite her not becoming the HoF in this 'verse. Nope. I do not see it. Also, Lanil's aggressive affection for her family shows up lol I loved the reunion between her and Jowan. Mostly though, this chapter is just sad and a Major Character death off-screen is mentioned. But it's an apocalyptic future and gets retconned, so I didn't tag it.

[thornfield13713]

KIRKWALL REUNION 🥺

The people have spoken! Let's see if I can do the idea justice.

...I'm not sure I did, to be honest, and the ending is definitely rough and will need improvements before this series is ready to post on AO3, but...here we are.

Lirene’s Fereldan Imports was a small, shabby sort of place, not much more than a hole in the wall - though still leagues above the conditions in which most of Marian’s countrymen had found themselves. There but for the Maker’s grace went they, Father would have said, but Marian had never been much of a believer in the Maker’s grace to begin with, even before the Blight. Anders had always been the believer, between the two of them, and now he was gone. There but for one slip, one chance, one lucky brawl in the Gallows when they were fresh off the boat. It was easy to forget, in all the grief that had attended their flight from Ferelden, just how soft a landing they’d had by comparison.

Marian rapped her knuckles surreptitiously on a wooden table, and counted out five sovereigns for the donation box sitting out conspicuously near the door. Carver caught her doing it, and scowled a little and, yes, all right, Marian knew why. But Marian was superstitious enough to want to leave a tithe for fortune, and this seemed a better place for it than the Chantry poorbox, which was always overflowing and yet never seemed to get used.

They had to elbow their way through a crowd of other refugees to get to the front of the queue - attracting no small number of dirty looks on the way, only to stop directly behind a skinny woman whose brown hair was already streaked with early grey, though she couldn’t have been very much older than the twins.

“My mother’s in labour,” she was saying, the words tumbling over each other in their haste to get out. “The baby’s come early- Can anyone help her?”

The woman behind the counter nodded. “I’ll send word to the healer, but-”

“My son’s hurt bad,” another man cut in, “Cart overturned on him in the blasted Bone Pit-”

“Everyone in your turn. I promise, we have donations coming in. There will be food and medicine for all of you-”

Somehow, in the heaving of the crowd, the three of them had ended up at the front of the line. The shopkeeper turned to them, looking frazzled.

“If you’re seeking aid, leave your name with my girl. We serve everyone here - no-one came from Ferelden without trouble.” She folded her arms, and fixed them with a very stern look. “But I can’t give priority to anyone who’s already found work and lodging.”

“That’s fair,” Marian said quickly. “But that…isn’t what we’re here for. I hear you know where I can find a Fereldan Grey Warden?”

The woman - presumably Lirene - snorted. “Only Fereldan Grey Warden I’ve heard of is sitting on the throne. We’re out of the Blight’s path now. Why would you need a Warden?”

“The healer was one of ‘em once, wasn’t he?” the girl with the mother in childbirth cut in excitedly. “A Warden?”

Lirene turned on her like a- well, like a hawk. “Well, he’s not now, and busy enough without answering fool questions about it.”

“Who are you protecting?” Marian asked, as gently as she could manage.

Lirene’s mouth firmed into a hard line. “You see what our people face in Kirkwall. They have no jobs, no homes. Most can barely buy bread. This healer, he serves them without thought for coin. He’s closed their wounds, delivered their children…he’s a good man. I won’t lose him to the blighted Templars.”

Something ached in Marian’s chest at that. Back in Ferelden, she wondered, would Lirene have even looked twice at a mage being dragged away, healer or no? Somehow, she doubted it. Certainly, no-one in Lothering would. They’d had their share of near misses, before the Blight.

“I understand,” she said, a little hollowly. “But he’ll come to no harm from us.”

“R-right,” Carver agreed. “Perfectly safe if he cooperates- Ow! What was that for?”

“What my brother means is, we would never give someone up to the Templars. Never,” Bethany said, the steel coming into her voice now. “Isn’t that right, Carver?”

“Ow- Yeah. That. That is what we mean. I guess.”

Lirene looked between them, then sighed.

“I suppose it isn’t my secret to keep. Anders has certainly been free enough with his services-”

For a moment, Marian could not believe she’d heard right. But then-

A wild, irrepressible, agonising flood of hope welled up in her, in a place she’d thought had long run dry.

“I- I’m sorry, did you-” she swallowed, her mouth dry. “Did you say his name was Anders? You’re certain that was it? Definitely ‘Anders’?”

Lirene’s brow furrowed. “Yes. Unusual, I know, but-”

“I- Is he-” She couldn’t- It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t- More than a year now, he’d been gone. He couldn’t have been returned to her like this. The Maker was not so kind. And yet-

How many could there be? A Fereldan, a mage, a healer by that name-?

“Maker,” Carver muttered. “Marian, you can’t keep torturing yourself like this-”

“I’m not sure I follow…” Lirene said, in a dangerous sort of tone, and Marian forced herself to calm, her fingers white-knuckled where they still gripped the fox-head amulet about her neck.

“I- Is this healer of yours a- a tall man - taller than me - with light hair and amber eyes and-” The image of his face flashed into her mind again, just as it had been that day in the woods. “...and the most ridiculous smile you’ve ever seen? Who loves cats, and…and laughs at his own jokes, even when they aren’t particularly funny?”

It had driven her mad sometimes, those jokes. Now, she would have given almost anything to hear them again.

Lirene’s eyes narrowed.

“...he is a tall, fair man,” she allowed. “But I’ve never seen him smile. Let alone laugh.”

It could be him. It could still be him. It was almost worse than an outright denial.

“Here, is this him?” Bethany asked, reaching up to unclasp her locket, and flicking it open under Lirene’s unimpressed eyes.

The little portrait inside was maybe a bit too small to get the fine detail, but- there he was. There they all were. Mother and Father, in the days when Father had still been alive and Mother’s hair had still had some black in it, Marian and Anders, wrapped up in each other the way they had been all of that first year they’d been married, and the twins, gawky adolescents still growing into their coltish limbs.

Lirene peered down at it, and then looked up sharply.

“...that…does look like him. Who are you, exactly, that you were looking for a Warden in general, and not him by name? His sister?”

“His wife,” Marian corrected, without really thinking about it. It cost real effort to keep her voice steady. “I- I thought he died at Ostagar - we were both there, he- we were separated during the retreat…please, if you can tell me where to find him-”

“Of course.” Lirene looked relieved. “I…suppose this explains it. He always seemed like he must have lost even more than the rest of us, but he never spoke of- Well. I hope I have this right. Refugees in Darktown say to look for the lit lantern. If your need is great enough, Anders will be within.”

Marian didn’t hear her own reply. She wasn’t altogether sure she’d said anything at all. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears.

Alive, he was alive. She wanted to laugh and cry and dance and also, incidentally, strangle him for making her grieve so long.

She felt Carver’s hand settle on her shoulder.

“It might not be him,” he said, a bit gruffly.

Bethany, on her other side, snorted. “What, another Fereldan apostate healer named Anders? Who just happens to look exactly like his portrait?”

“That thing’s tiny, anyone tall and blonde would look about the same in it-” Carver gave Marian’s shoulder another squeeze. “Let’s just…let me keep my hopes up that it isn’t that unbearable prick come back from the dead?”

His voice was a little strained from the effort of pretending to be jovial about it, but Marian appreciated the effort.

“Well,” she said, a little unsteadily, glancing around the shop. Far too many eyes on them, too many eyes on Bethany, it wasn’t safe- “Whether- Whoever he is, we need to speak with him. We should…probably pick up our new business partner, too. He’ll want to- That is, if this healer is- isn’t who we- who I hope it is…”

“I’ll get him,” Carver promised, “We’ll meet you down in Darktown, then?”

Marian managed a jerky nod.

Alive, he was alive. He was alive and…a Grey Warden, somehow, which was- that was new. Did Wardens even marry? Or was the symbolic death of joining up enough to cancel that out as well?

“It’s him,” Bethany said, as soon as Carver was out the door. “I’m sure it is - who else could it be?”

“...I don’t know.”

But she couldn’t- Hoping had been a torment, all the weeks and months they had spent in Gwaren, waiting for a ship or for word from beyond the Brecilian Passage. Even now, she found herself reaching cautiously out for it, as if afraid she’d get her fingers burnt if she seemed too eager for it. It would be so much worse to let herself hope and then-

She forced a smile for Bethany, and straightened her spine, squaring her shoulders.

“Come on, then. Let’s see if you’re right.”

*

Of course, they were intercepted almost as soon as they were out of the store, and only a hasty reassurance that they meant Anders- meant this healer no harm let them get away without bloodshed, their would-be assailants apparently not having heard the tail end of the conversation.

And now they were here. Darktown. The first time Marian had set foot down here since she’d left Athenril’s employ. She couldn’t say she’d missed it.

It could hardly be said that the place didn’t live up to its name, either. The place was even more of a maze than Lowtown, a warren of cramped tunnels, almost pitch-dark, so that nothing could be seen of anyone or anything but deeper shadows against darkness. Marian could almost smell the chokedamp in the air, but…only faintly, here, not the killing mist that had left Mother confined to her bed for more than a month, and from which she was only just now starting to recover. And if it got any worse- Well, that was what the handkerchief trick was for.

Varric and Carver were waiting for them by one of the tunnel entrances, and neither of them looked happy.

“Well, I brought him,” Carver said gruffly. “And I really hope that’s actually you this time.”

“Little Hawke’s said that to four or five different people already,” the dwarf put in. “Had a bit of a misunderstanding there for a minute with a couple of old friends from the Carta.”

Marian didn’t need to be able to see his face to know that Carver was scowling.

“How was I supposed to know people around here’d be willing to fight me to save your neck?”

“I’m likeable, little Hawke. You ought to try it sometime. Nice to see you again, Foxy,” he added, nodding at Marian. “But…uh…any particular reason it had to be down here?”

Marian paused, trying not to breathe in too deeply, or through her nose.

“Carver didn’t tell you? A- Your Grey Warden is down here.”

“We’re to look for a lit lantern, whatever that means,” Carver put in.

“Easy, then,” Bethany said quickly. “Just follow the light. If there was any light, I mean.”

“We should stick together,” Marian cut in. “Everyone, get a hold of the person next to you on either side. Let’s really ruin the day of anyone trying to get past us.”

“Do I have to?” Carver protested.

Marian shrugged. “I mean, if you would rather get lost down here in the dark, I suppose it is your decision, but-”

“Maker! Fine, fine, I’m doing it. Not one blighted word about this, dwarf!”

“Now, would I do a thing like that? We’re all following your lead, Foxy!”

No pressure at all, then.

It was times like this that Marian missed her father most of all. If he’d still been here-

If he’d still been here, they’d never have fled to Kirkwall at all, she reminded herself sharply. Their first plan had been to make for Amaranthine or Denerim, still in Ferelden but not as directly in the path of the Blight. It wasn’t until after- after he was gone that Mother had set her heart on Kirkwall.

Father wasn’t here now. It was just Marian. So she would just have to try and be enough.

She put a hand to the nearest wall, grimacing in the dark at the awful, slimy, slippery feeling of it under her fingers. “...all right. Let’s see if I remember the way around. If I’m right, we should be going…this way.”

Directly into a dead end, as it turned out, and the less said about the moment she’d put her hand on something warm and furry and shrieked, the better, but eventually they got turned around in the right direction, enough to find a set of crudely-carved stone stairs, and start making their way up into more-travelled areas, where the lichen glow was enough to see your hand in front of your face by. 

There was a faint glow coming from somewhere up ahead that promised they were heading in the right direction, not the gold of lantern-light, but something stranger, an odd blue-green light almost, but not quite, like lyrium glow. And, as they stumbled up onto a higher platform, Marian could see it. The walls here were alive with something blue-green and glowing, casting an eerie, sickly light over the tunnels, and over tents and bedrolls, low smoky cookfires, and people. Far more people than Marian had ever expected, some sitting hunched around the fires, some just standing, waiting, some lying apparently where they fell, curled up in nests of rags if they were lucky, or just lying prone on the hard stone, sleeping or dead.

There were others, too - well-armed shadows in armour, human or elven or dwarven, marked out by the way they moved as much as by their armour as they pressed purposely through the crowd, and everywhere they went, the rest of the people scattered before them, shrinking into the shadows as if afraid to draw notice. The stench was well-nigh unbearable - raw sewage, too many bodies too close together, fear and desperation, piss and vomit.

And this was where Anders had hidden? Fastidious Anders, who had fussed over his hair and clothes and whined about all the mess involved in farming? Anders, who had hated the dark, and enclosed spaces, so much that some nights even their room at home had seemed too tight for him, and they’d slipped out into the fields to lie under the stars and talk until he could breathe easily again. Marian couldn’t picture it, couldn’t- It might not be him, she reminded herself. She would not let herself believe it was him. Not until she saw his face with her own eyes.

At the back of the line, Varric was complaining again.

“You know what I love about the Undercity? Absolutely nothing!”

“I can’t imagine the people who have to live here like it very much either,” Bethany retorted.

“Oh- You know what I mean, sunshine! Just because other people are miserable down here doesn’t mean I have to come down and be miserable as well.”

“You were the one who wanted a way into the Deep Roads, we’re getting you a way into the Deep Roads,” Carver said flatly. “Stop whining about it.”

“I am not whining, Junior, I’m just pointing out that if I were a Grey Warden, I’d find somewhere a lot cooler than this to hide.”

The people were scattering in front of them, too, Marian saw. No doubt taking them for more Carta or Coterie here to cause trouble. They weren’t even that far wrong. Back in the day when she was with Athenril, they’d have been right to scatter. She’d always thought it was Athenril and her men’s reputation doing the work. She hadn’t quite realised that she herself must be almost as frightening.

The entire Undercity left to hunt for, and only the sign of a lit lantern to guide them. It wasn’t much.

“...asking around might lead to more trouble,” she said, more to herself than the others. They couldn’t rely on any other refugees being as willing to take her at her word as those they had met outside Lirene’s place. “Okay. Everyone keep an eye out for lantern-light…”

She had been prepared for it to take days. In the end, though, it was only hours. Hours of wandering dark tunnels, a piss-stinking handkerchief tied over her mouth and nose to filter out the worst of the chokedamp. Hours of arguing herself out of hope - Carver was right, any tall, fair man would look much the same in a portrait the size of the one in Bethany’s locket, even without five other people, a dog and two kittens to share the frame - but not quite being able to stop the hammering of her heart, the thrum of her nerves as tunnel after tunnel came up short.

And then-

They had come into a new section of the tunnels, and the far wall was gone, just a few haphazard boards and pillars between them and the sea.

“We must be right up against the cliff-face,” Bethany said, wondering, the smell of salt rising to mingle with all the rest of the smells of Darktown, as Marian screwed up her eyes to squint against the sun.

“And there’s the lantern!” Carver’s hand thumped down against Marian’s shoulder. “We found him! If it is him,” he added hastily. “It might not-”

“I know.”

“Well, we have to try, don’t we?” Varric put in cheerfully. “Unless you weren’t serious about wanting in on this expedition after all, which…I mean, I’d understand why two weeks down in the dark with Bartrand wasn’t exactly your idea of a fun time, but…”

Marian wasn’t listening. Another flight of stairs, across a low half-flooded platform, water soaking through her boots, up again, and then-

The lantern burned overhead, hanging on a low post in front of a pair of makeshift driftwood doors. Marian swallowed, tasting sea air, her heart in her throat.

“...well, are we going to go in, or…” Varric prodded.

“She’ll do it when she’s ready, dwarf,” Carver snapped. “Do you need a moment?” That was Bethany, stepping up to put a hand on Marian’s shoulder. Somehow, Marian had never quite stopped being surprised they were almost of a height now.

“No. Let’s have this done.”

The door swung open easily when she pushed it, and then-

A large, airy, open room, apparently carved straight out of the stone, full of makeshift cots and the smell of elfroot and- and a little cluster of people, over by one of the beds, a man in a heavy feathered coat stooping over a small body, blue-white light shining from his hands. Anders, Anders, Anders.

As they watched, the child on the cot arched up, and then sat, breathing heavily but easily, breathing, and Anders stumbled away, half-collapsed, leaning heavily on a pillar as one of the men who had been gathered around the child - now being embraced by two grey-haired women who might have been his parents - reached out to steady him.

Marian couldn’t help it, she moved forward, wanting to do the same, just as she always had back in Lothering, when a healing took a lot out of him. And then-

He must have heard them coming, a moment later, the staff was in his hands and he was rounding on them, one hand raised as if to cast - or ward them off.

“I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation! Why do you- Marian?”

“Anders.”

It was all she could say, the word punched out of her along with all the breath in her lungs. A moment later, she was across the room and in his arms. She felt the weight of that new staff against her shoulder, his face pressing into her hair.

“You cut your hair,” she said, muffled against a mouthful of feathers, and heard his shaky startled laugh in answer.

“I did, I- Maker, I can’t believe- How are you here? How-? I thought everyone died at Ostagar. I thought-” His voice cracked.

“So did I.” She felt the tears well up in her eyes again, when she had thought that well had run dry long ago, in the long weeks at Gwaren, or on the ship to Kirkwall, or in all of this last year of trying to step into her father’s shoes alone. “I’ve never been so pleased to be wrong.”

He squeezed her a little tighter, her fingers digging in deep at the leather of his new coat as his buried themselves in her red hair, pulling her closer still. He felt just the same as he always had, warm as a furnace. Thinner, perhaps, but so was Marian now, and the smell of him was still the same beneath the universal Darktown stench - elfroot and feathers and the cool scent of a coming snowfall. Marian buried her face against his shoulder and just breathed it in.

“Uh- Not to break up the moment,” Varric said behind her. “But could someone please tell me what’s going on?”

Anders startled, a full-body thing, and looked around. Marian did too, twisting as best she could to look over her shoulder without pulling away.

Varric looked absolutely poleaxed, Carver somewhere between pleased and resigned, and Bethany was beaming.

“I…ah.” Marian coughed. “Anders, this is Varric. He’s…we’re business partners. Varric, this is Anders. My husband.”

Varric’s eyes very nearly jumped out of his skull.

“Your- Wait, you’ve been married to a Warden this whole time and didn’t say anything? You’ve been married this whole time and never said anything?”

“Was it any of your blighted business?” Carver snapped, crossing his arms.

“Everything is my business, Junior! Foxy, I’m wounded - aren’t we friends?”

“...we are,” Marian said cautiously, though that was, perhaps, overstating the case a little. She’d known Varric less than a week at this point - that wasn’t really long enough to call anyone a friend, in her experience. Well- hardly anyone, anyway, she amended, glancing back at Anders just to check he was still there.

“If it helps,” Anders said, shifting a little against her to adjust his grip on his staff. “I wasn’t a Warden when I- when we were separated. They didn’t get me until later. I- I got swept up with Teyrn Loghain’s retreat,” he explained, returning his attention to Marian, a little crease forming between his brows. “It was all…very chaotic. I thought you’d be there with the rest of Bann Bryland’s men, but I couldn’t find you, and when I tried to sneak away once we got to Lothering I got caught at it. Nearly got hanged as a deserter.”

Carver snorted. “Five times escaping the Circle and you couldn’t manage getting away from the army?”

“They were watching the medics and herbalists like hawks. I couldn’t get clear until Denerim - and even then, only by…er…borrowing some armour and ‘going out on patrol’.” He swallowed. “I thought…maybe when the refugees started flooding in I’d find you, but- Why Kirkwall? I mean…I know you have family here, but Malcolm always said he’d never come back to this place-”

“He did.” Marian swallowed. “And…he didn’t. He- There was an ogre, on the road…Father…Father didn’t…”

She didn’t want to picture it. The broken body lying in the dust, the way they had been forced to abandon it with no pyre, no grave. Just bones on the roadside at the very edge of the Korcari Wilds, and nothing to say whose they had been or all he had done. 

“I’m sorry,” Anders’ voice was thick and raw. He had loved Father too, Marian knew - had found in him the mentor he never had in the Circle tower. “I’m so sorry- How- How is Leandra taking it?”

Marian’s eyes dropped. She didn’t- She’d always sort of known that once Father died, it would be up to her to lead. No-one had ever said it, but…somehow it had always been known. Still, she hadn’t been prepared for the way Mother had collapsed under the weight of that grief, so that Marian had had to take all that weight alone, without a guide or a word of advice. She’d always expected to be older, too, but-

Well. Things were what they were.

“I’m sorry. I should- I should have been there, I should-”

“You’re here now,” Marian interrupted. “I’m glad enough of that.”

A shadow passed behind Anders’ eyes.

“You…may not be, once you know everything,” he said, very softly. “But- If you weren’t…if you didn’t know I was here, why were you…”

“Oh, are we done with the family drama now?” Varric asked. He sounded almost disappointed. Marian half-expected him to have whipped out a quill and started taking notes. “Don’t feel like you have to stop on my account…” he paused, and then, when it became clear nobody was going to get back to providing him amusement: “We’re interested in getting into the Deep Roads. Rumour has it you were a Warden, which…you kind of just confirmed, so…do you know a way?”

“The Deep Roads,” Anders repeated hollowly. “I- I will die a happy man if I never think of the blighted Deep Roads again. You can’t- Marian, please, tell me you’re not thinking of going down there.”

“Mother’s had two bouts with the chokedamp this year already,” Marian said quietly. “A third might carry her off, and so long as we’re in Lowtown, that’s as good as inevitable. This is our only shot at getting out.”

Anders still looked faintly sick. “I…have some maps of the depths in this area. And if you’re going, I- Well, it’d be a shame to follow you all the way to Ostagar and then turn back now, if- if you want me to come with you, that is. You might not, once you- once you know everything that’s happened this last year. And there’s…” he paused. “I- I have something I need to do in the city. Tonight.”

“We’re not threatening to leave at once,” Marian reassured him. “What- What is it you need to do? Do you need any help with it?”

She didn’t want to leave him alone. She didn’t want to be parted from him just in general terms. It felt like the moment she looked away he’d be gone, and the miracle would be over, and the grief all the worse for being renewed.

Anders looked hunted for a moment, but then:

“I came to Kirkwall to help a friend. A mage. A prisoner in the wretched Gallows.”

“Karl,” Marian said softly, realisation dawning. “...well. That seems like the sort of job that would go easier with two than one. Are we breaking him out of the Gallows proper, or-” “Marian,” Carver hissed. “You can’t do that! What about Bethany? D’you want to bring the Templars down on her-”

“It’s not in the Gallows,” Anders said hastily. “I- I’ve been exchanging notes with Karl through a maidservant in the Gallows. She’s agreed to help him get out, at least as far as the Chantry. Probably a trap, but it’s the best chance we’re ever likely to have.”

[angelicsentinel]

i haven't played this game in at least seven years and I never finished all the dlc but here I am again, like a fool.

[tossawary]

I mentioned before that I think DA2 is perhaps the most appealing to me for a Time Travel AU. This is in part because Hawke as a protagonist doesn't have to worry about an impending apocalypse in the same way that the Warden and the Inquisitor do, so there's arguably more space for slow-moving character work, and I think it would be fun to explore Hawke's relationship to Kirkwall.

You can take Inquisition-era Hawke, sacrifice them in the Fade, and then handwavy magic happens there that sends Hawke back for a Time Travel Redo. (If it's irrelevant to the rest of the story, let's skip going into depth on the time travel method! It does not matter!) If you want to avoid time paradox concerns, given that time magic actually exists in this series, this can actually be a Dimension Travel AU as well, sending a Garrett Hawke back in time to another dimension where there's a Marian Hawke instead or something. Two Hawkes!

I prefer sending a mage Garrett Hawke "back" into this alternate dimension because he is absolutely going to look like his own father, Malcolm, to the young Hawke family trying to escape Lothering. And that's some delicious angst.

Another reason that I think Hawke in particular would be interesting is that I think it would be interesting to have a time-traveler (dimension-traveler) be upfront about what had happened to them. A tired Garrett Hawke reveals at least the basics of the "future" to his friends and family (all of whom are strangers to him and it hurts) because he wants to keep them safe, and then the butterfly effects of canon divergence ripple out from there.

There are so many time travel fics where the protagonist confides in no one or only does so very late in the story. There are often reasons for this. 1) They will not be believed. 2) They are surrounded by enemies. 3) They are focused on changing a very specific event and do not want things to change before that. 3.5) They are unwilling to share their knowledge and give up some measure of control over the future. (These control issues are often in-character!)

Sometimes, I am persuaded by these reasons and find them compelling and sympathetic. Sometimes, I find the protagonist's insistence on doing everything alone frustrating and even cruel.

I think that if Hawke had the chance to do a Time Travel Redo, it would be incredibly cruel if they did not at least TRY to share some of their knowledge with their companions. I don't think Hawke's companions would believe them immediately, of course, but they live in a world with strange magic. If Hawke was willing to be calm and vulnerable, they could at least give their future friends some potential leads in their individual quests (being open about the fact that this world may be different to their own).

Like, let's look at Fenris. Fenris would not trust some strange mage talking about fucking time magic, of course. But after knowing each other for a month or so, Hawke might be able to approach Fenris and say, "Hey, I have a really weird story to tell you." And then Hawke could share what they know about Fenris' past according to their own world, so that Fenris can maybe look into that and prepare himself. Because keeping that information away from Fenris is a dick move! Fenris deserves to be able to decide what to believe, what to investigate, and what to do for himself.

I also don't think I could suspend my disbelief if Hawke let Anders and Justice just... play out again over the course of years. I think most Hawkes wouldn't be able to resist confronting Anders in some way! Even Hawkes who end up saying, "I'm going to personally murder Meredith this time." Is a mage-friendly Hawke just going to let characters like Karl Thekla be made Tranquil and be killed again?

Do Merrill and Isabella and Varric and Aveline not deserve to try and avert some of the tragedies in their own lives?

Like, it is totally reasonable for Hawke to be focused purely on their own family or the companions they like, rather than try to save every person in the city. I think it's more than fine if there are tragedies a protagonist just doesn't care about averting. Hawke is not even going to remember everything.

And it is VERY normal for people not to want to give up some measure of control over their lives, especially someone as traumatized as Hawke. I do often find it realistic that a lot of time traveling characters in fanfiction are kind of "control freaks" who don't want to be vulnerable, even if it's "safe" to be. I'm imagining that this future-sharing from Hawke would stem in large part from 1) exhaustion, 2) loneliness, and 3) Hawke being used to celebrity, due to the "Tale of the Champion", and somewhat blasé by this point about all the fucking shit they've been through.

And I think that spilling everything (or even just the basics) would not necessarily go well for a Hawke. I think Varric would take even limited information about Bartrand's future very badly. As strangers to Hawke, I think all of the companions would be upset and disbelieving. (I'm currently imagining a mage Garrett Hawke who previously romanced Merrill, so that he and Past!Fenris were barely friends, because Fenris didn't like this mage Hawke hanging out with a blood mage and Hawke kind of thought Fenris might turn him in to the Templars someday. Past!Fenris was more Isabella's and Varric's friend.) I think these new companions might go on to make some BIG mistakes trying to avoid the future that Hawke has described, as much as they might avert tragedy.

I also imagine that Hawke's relationship with this new Hawke family might be very strange and awkward, even if both Carver and Bethany live. Garrett looks like Malcolm and everyone thinks it's weird; Leandra is probably the happiest and most practical about it, but Garrett can't forget how his own mother died horribly and also blamed him for his own Bethany's death. Neither Garrett nor Marian know what to do about each other; Marian doesn't like some new person waltzing in and taking control of situations. Garrett unconsciously treats this Carver as older and Carver loves it, but Marian doesn't like it. Bethany likes having a mage sibling, but Garrett is awkward because he's used to Bethany being the Hawke family's perfect dead sister. And Leandra's shitty brother is not fucking helping any of this!!! And what's that about Leandra maybe getting murdered by a serial killer in the future???

By saying all of this, I mean to make clear that I really don't think "communicating" would immediately fix every problem for a perfect "Time Travel Fix-It". I do think it would fix SOME problems. Emotional conversations and immediate canon divergence also appeals to me because I like reading those things.

What I mean to make clear is that I think it would be fun to write something that explores autonomy, authority, agency, and control. There are many issues in the world that stem from people unwilling to give up control of a situation for a variety of reasons, and other issues that stem from people believing they have the authority to dictate other people's lives.

What right would a new Garrett Hawke have to withhold information and try to manipulate all of their strangers' lives? Especially from people like Anders and Fenris, whose stories are so deeply concerned with freedom of choice? To conceal backstory information from someone with amnesia, like Fenris, is a choice, and I think it's a cruel one, even if Fenris might not like what he hears and might react badly. Can Garrett Hawke really claim that he "knows best"? What if he doesn't know what's going on with this version of the world? What do you do when freedom means standing back and allowing some of the people you like and love to make "bad" choices?

Some time travel fics seem to me to be incredibly lonely. The protagonist trusts in no one. The other characters can be written as predictably following a timeline to the point of being shallow caricatures of people. It's just not to my taste.

It could be nice to explore Hawke finding new sides of companions that they missed in their previous "run" (which was very much not perfect and full of strife). It could be nice to explore an exhausted Champion learning to trust in other people and have them step up to help solve these shifting problems. DA games are so much about making choices for everyone around you: on behalf of your companions, on behalf of entire kingdoms, on behalf of the entire world. It might be fun to explore an exhausted older Hawke giving up some control and being pleasantly surprised on some fronts as paths diverge.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

I'm back on my bullshit thinking about the Hawke siblings again and how much I love a "both twins live" AU... but y'know what I love just a little bit more? An AU where all three Hawke siblings are alive, but one of the twins still get attacked by the ogre in Lothering and is presumed dead when they actually survived.

I like to think that since the narrative in DA2 is framed as a story Varric's telling Cassandra, we can play around with the fact that he's an unreliable narrator. Varric wasn't there in Lothering. He only knows what Hawke told him. It makes for a better story if Leandra, Hawke, and the surviving twin get to huddle around the dead twin and say their goodbyes... especially if they didn't actually get to do that. I mean, a lot of us already have that train of thought when it comes to Leandra's death and Hawke getting some closure through her final words telling them how proud she is. Whose to say Varric didn't do that for the lost twin, as well?

All that to ask what if the ogre attack happened, but the group was so overwhelmed by darkspawn they had to flee further and couldn't check the twin who "died?" Flemeth still showed up, but it was too late to go back and say goodbye.... so Hawke made a deal with the Witch of the Wilds and they all pushed forward to Kirkwall.

Imagine Bethany, left behind with broken bones and bleeding in the sand, fading in and out of consciousness as the remaining darkspawn surround her. She knows how to heal, how to fight back, but she's weakened. Her staff lays out of reach. Air shakes in her lungs. She tries to call for help, but only wheezes come out. Where's her mother? Her siblings? Did the ogre get them, too?

At this point, we all know what happens to the women darkspawn take, and Bethany could've met that fate; she doesn't have the strength to fight back as they drag her away. But before they can bring her underground, she's saved by another group of survivors. Perhaps they're more soldiers fleeing Ostagar, or townsfolk who recognize her from Lothering. They do what they can to treat her wounds but she needs a healer, so they bring her with them to seek refuge in Redcliffe... except they eventually realize she's an apostate. Well, she doesn't seem dangerous, but they still contact the templars.

Bethany wakes in a warm but unfamiliar bed with skilled healers tending to her. Templars hover by the doorway. First Enchanter Irving greets her, gentle in explaining she's safe inside of Kinloch Hold and that she's going to survive. When Bethany asks about her family, he gives her a sympathetic smile and says they only found her.

Bethany, who never took to embracing her magic the way her older sibling did and always felt like it burdened her family... has lost that very family. Could they survive the ogre and darkspawn? Or did the ogre tear them apart, too? How did she survive... but not them? Did the Maker really have such a sense of humor? How else would she end up in the Circle, a place her family went to great lengths to keep her safe from?

She doesn't want to think about it. She hopes they made it to Kirkwall, but the prickle of dread that crawls up her spine knows how unlikely it is. Bethany finds comfort in speaking with the mages who rotate in to heal and bring her food. Some feel trapped by their magic just as she does, but others remind her of her older sibling in the way they embrace their magic, a gift from the Maker. The younger apprentices who aid the mages ask her questions about what lies beyond the walls. The templars mostly keep their distance, but one is friendlier than others. A man with curly blonde hair and a sympathetic view of the mages bothers to speak to her more than his fellows do.

She's still in recovery when Uldred and his blood mages attack the tower, but she survives. Bethany heals, even as she's haunted by nightmares of the ogre wrapping its tainted hand around her body to crush her, flinging her aside to lay among the limp bodies of her family... haunted by the horrors the blood mages unleashed on the tower. She aids in restoring the tower the best she can, and accepts her new home, her new life. When she's well enough, she lights a candle for each of them; her father, mother, her eldest sibling, her twin... she even lights a candle for the family mabari, and prays to the Maker to give them her love as they stand at His side.

The Blight ends. Years pass. Bethany settles into her new life, becoming a fine example for the younger apprentices she mentors. She witnesses wrong doings against her fellow mages, loses friends to their harrowings or tranquility. She accepts what she is, even if bitterly. The Chantry's teachings about magic scar more than enlighten; she sees it in some of her fellow mages, feels it in herself. Secret meetings. Whispers of escape, of freedom. More escape attempts. Harsher restrictions.

Around this time, back in Kirkwall, Knight-Captain Cullen stands where he always does in the Gallows courtyard. He notices Hawke appear with some of their companions. It hurts to think back to Kinloch Hold, but something occurs to him: he knew of another Hawke who was brought to the Circle while he served there. They only spoke once before... well, before. He wonders if there's any relation. When Hawke wanders over to speak to him, as they always do, Cullen brings it up.

Hawke pales. A beat of silence. Cullen recognizes heartbreak; he sees it unfold in their eyes and swell in their throat as they realize that all this time, their baby sister was alive.

Then the day comes where new whispers float among the mages in the Circle. A visit by a Grey Warden. Most, including Bethany, assume he's here to recruit... until Irving comes to her. He says this warden's requested, though more like insisted, he see her now. But then Irving smiles; the warden in question said his name is Warden Carver. He received an urgent letter that his sister is here, alive, and he demands to know if that's true.

Bethany nearly collapses when she sees him.

While the reunion can't last; she can't leave the Circle and he has his calling; the twins embrace, sobbing out apologies and exclamations that they thought the other was gone. Carver tells her of Kirkwall, the expedition that led him to the Grey Wardens, and their older sibling's status as Champion. With a gentleness she never knew her brother to have, he tells her what happened to their mother, and more tears flow freely. Their sibling learned about her from a templar, though Carver grumbles that the bastard could've said something sooner.

There's the Maker's humor again.

...Now flip the script: imagine Carver being left behind instead.

For as strong and passionate as he is, that ogre still picks him up and slams him to the ground. Bones crack. Black splotches flood his vision, agony exploding across his skin. His sword flies from his hand. The soulless bastard tosses Carver aside like he's nothing, and he's left to lay there. His mother's cries muffle in his ear as though he's stuck underwater, sinking slowly into the dark.

It figured, honestly... that he'd survive Ostagar while his fellow soldiers were cut down all around him, that he and his eldest sibling would flee the field when all hope was lost... that he'd make it home to get his family out of Lothering... only to die protecting his mother. And why not? He is a protector. A warrior. It's a honor to die saving those he loved... so why didn't it give him peace?

Carver eventually wakes in the night among the bodies of fallen darkspawn. Everything aches painfully hot and his thoughts reject coherency. He knows his family is gone; they're dead, or they've fled... either way, he's alone; left behind. Something's broken inside of him, but he has just enough will to pull himself up at the sound of approaching footsteps. A group of survivors find him- funny enough, the same group who aided Bethany in an alternate timeline. Imagine that.

That's how Carver ended up in Redcliffe's Chantry with an overworked healer tending to him. He doesn't even flinch when the mage works their magic on him, knowing all too well the sensation of healing magic seeping into his skin, mending the flesh. He tries not to think of Bethany, or what might've happened to her.

The Chantry's overwhelmed with townspeople hiding from a danger outside that he can only assume is darkspawn... except it's not. He wonders how hard he hit his head when he hears the undead have come from the castle to slaughter what they can of the town every night. But then he sees it with his own eyes when one breaks in, taken down by a templar, and never before has he ever felt so useless.

Then the last two remaining Grey Wardens arrive. They're crucial in the final fight against the undead, swearing to enter the castle to stop the attacks at the source. While Carver couldn't participate in the final fight, something he complained loudly about, he did what he could in his condition to help like sharpening swords and handing out supplies. Mostly to keep his sanity and quite his thoughts throughout his recovery.

When the time came, he took up his sword again in the name of all those he lost.

An archdemon was said to be on the horizon, and the Grey Wardens needed everyone they could get to fight. Carver fights in the battle of Denerim where the Hero of Fereldan defeated the archdemon. He cuts his way through every darkspawn he sees. Ostagar flashes red behind his eyes. Lothering clutches at his heart. So much anger and sorrow built up inside him, flooding out in his tears and screams. Blood everywhere. Fire and smoke.

Then it's over.

In the aftermath of the Blight, like so many others, Carver has no home to return to. No family. He thinks to go back to Lothering to help rebuild, only to hear the lands were too tainted. These tainted creatures took everything from him... That's what eventually brings him to Vigil's Keep, standing before the Hero of Fereldan themself, asking to be made a Grey Warden. He already dedicated nearly two years of his life to killing darkspawn, and he had nothing else. Even when faced with the Joining, holding the chalice of darkspawn blood and being told to drink, he didn't flinch.

Life as a Grey Warden isn't as simple as he assumed it would be, but Carver finds purpose in his calling. Over the years, he grows to view his fellow wardens as family. He travels all over Thedas, venturing down into the Deep Roads to help clear out hoards of the darkspawn. But then comes the day he finds himself in Kirkwall, and it doesn't take long before he hears the name Hawke on the lips of the townspeople. His eldest sibling was not only alive, but they're quite popular among the people. But what about Mother? Bethany? He doesn't have to snoop too far to learn templars took Bethany away to the Gallows, and that Leandra Hawke was the final victim in a string of murders committed by a blood mage.

Carver finds himself standing outside the estate, glaring at the door. Furious. Heartbroken. Bitter. He wants to scream. This entire time, they lived. He's torn between wanting to reunite with his older sibling again, to get the truth from them, and wanting to barge into the estate, demanding answers to how they could let the Circle take Bethany... after what Carver sacrificed, how could they let Mother die like that? Was it all pointless in the end?

He leaves without knocking. He can't bring himself to see them. Not that it mattered. Before he could leave Kirkwall, the tensions with the qunari finally overflowed, and chaos fell upon the city. He's forced face to face with his older sibling again, but he wasn't prepared to watch the recognition slowly bloom on their face, or for all his anger to turn to mush. Carver's the first to speak.

"Somehow, I knew it would be you."

.............So, yeah. I really like this idea.

[sweetmage]

Gaze From The Pavement (AO3 Link)

Relationships: Hawke siblings, Hawke & All Companions, eventual M!Hawke/Anders, eventual F!Hawke/Fenris Word Count: 6901 Tags: Magitechnology, dystopia, found family, hurt comfort, organized crime, banter and humor, twin!Hawke AU ⚠️The following tags are TWs for later chapters but are not central themes of the fic: Mentions of abuse (all kinds), mentions of suicidal ideation, canonical major characters death (Leandra, Karl, etc.), unnamed character death, mentions of drugs and addiction. (Please see the AO3 link for the full list of tags and future TWs!) Summary: After Lothering is overrun by 'darkspawn'—mysterious self-replicating organic and mechanical beings from a bygone age—the Hawke family is forced to flee to the towering, smog-filled City of Chains. There, they find themselves embroiled in hard mercenary work, family dysfunction, and the Chantry's high-tech and overbearing systems of surveillance and oppression built upon the backs of generations of Circle slave labor. At least the drinks at the Hanged Man are still cheap... ~~~ The same Thedas we know but set in an AU where the Chantry has forced rapid technological advancements over a few generations by using their Circles to research, develop, and manufacture magitechnology, including those used to further mage oppression and aid them in their grasp for economic and political power. This is a highly canon divergent rewrite of Dragon Age 2, though expect similar themes and a similar tone. The world is bleak but the Kirlwall Crew is making it through together!

[herearedragons]

Fan Work Friday

I was tagged for this by @greypetrel a While ago, so! Time to do another rec post.

Rules: If you’re tagged, MAKE A NEW POST and showcase one fanartist or fanfic you recommend (with links), and tag someone to give their recs next! Don’t forget to reblog the rec you were tagged in!

(I'm bending the rules again and doing A Bunch of fic recs instead of one)

Tagging: everyone tagged in this post, and also @solas-backpack-mug @layalu @ndostairlyrium @apeirotilio if any of you feel like making a rec post!

Fanartist: @bragganhyl (Pillars of Eternity fanart)

I found this piece again yesterday and I still think it's really cool. I haven't seen a lot of fanart of Maerwald, so it's cool to see him represented, and it's really cool to see all three Watchers lined up like that, with all of their respective Themes and Symbols. Just. Idk, Watchers are cool, and this art made me appreciate that a little more.

Fanfic #1: The Way The Story Goes by @dragonologist-phd (Pillars Of Eternity)

The prince was born with a dragon. Dragons and the reasoning behind them were something of a mystery in the kingdom. Nobody knew where they came from, or why the hatchlings only appeared in the company of newborn royalty. Nobody knew how they picked their companions. None of these questions were all that important, in the end. What mattered was that there were certain types of stories that started with a dragon, and there was a way these stories were supposed to go. The king and queen turned their backs for one minute, and suddenly there was a tiny, iridescent dragon curled up next to their son in his crib. That was the beginning of the story.

A Pillars of Eternity fairytale AU where Iselmyr is a dragon and Aloth is her prince. It's a cute take on these two and I had fun reading it, so now I'm inflicting this fic on you all! If you're in a mood for a fun one-shot, I definitely recommend it.

Fanfic #2: In Lothering by @heniareth (Dragon Age: Origins)

“Now, now, is that a way to answer a friendly greeting?” The bandit captain clicked his tongue as his men tightened their ranks behind him. “A simple ten silver and you’re free to move. Not so bad, eh?” Astala smiled. There was no way in the Void these shem would squeeze several months’ worth of rent out of them.

I'm slowly making my way through this fic!! I really like how it slows down and lingers on all the small problems the DA:O party faces in the early stages of their travel, and the different perspectives they all have on these problems. If you like stories that combine great characterization with attention to Logistics and the practical side of adventuring, you're going to have fun reading this one.

Fanfic #3: the cracked and the cared for by @curiouslavellan (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

Risk was mitigated through planning. He picked this room just for the fact that it had so many possible exits. He kept so many different weapons close to hand to give himself options. He had been trained to wake at the slightest indication of danger, and to respond in the same moment. No one would be sneaking up on him here and living through the attempt.  Bull knew all of this. None of it made him feel any better at the moment. None of it helped him sleep. He didn’t think he could bring himself to take up any of the weapons. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get his head around fighting hand-to-hand in time. Retreating would be easier to handle, mentally, but every time he moved more than an inch, Halveri made this pitiful little whimper that he couldn't stand. So he just went still again and tried not to think about the fact that the most magical person he had ever seen in his life was currently asleep on his chest.

I read this fic A While ago, but I reread it recently and, yup. It's still good. I don't know what is it, but the Bull POV in this fic is just really fun to read: it's the perfect balance of doubt and strategizing and picking his own brain apart and the vulnerability of being attached to the Inquisitor and. AAAAA. anyway, it's a good fic, I recommend it if you're in the mood for a character study that makes you Feel Things.

Fanfic #4: THE FURY OF A SHATTERED MIRROR by ASpooky (Disco Elysium x Slay The Princess)

YOU - How did I get here? THE NARRATOR - You walked, I presume. You've probably come a very long way and endured quite a number of trials to get here, but given the magnitude of the task still left before you, it won't do to get cold feet now. You can take a well-deserved rest after you slay her. ENDURANCE [Easy: Success] - You *aren't* tired. Not even a little. You could run a couple miles right now without breaking a sweat. PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Success] - Even at a jog, the worst you should feel through the thin haze of painkillers is a dull ache. It's probably not a good idea to start running on a bum leg, but when has that ever stopped you before? PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - There's still time. The sun hasn't risen yet, which means you can get in back-to-back morning jogs if you start *NOW*.

I actually don't know if this fanfic needs a recommendation because apparently it's so popular that at least one (1) youtube video was made about it, but I've been reading it and I want to talk about it, so in the rec list it goes.

If you have even a surface level familiarity with Disco Elysium and Slay The Princess, I recommend checking this out. The amount of attention of detail and effort that has gone into this fic is amazing and it's really clear why it's so beloved. The fic uses a CSS theme that looks like the Disco Elysium UI, and the author has gone the extra mile to play with the layout in pretty fun ways when it comes to the Disco Elysium voices-in-your-head and the StP voices-in-your-head interacting. And I haven't even said anything about the writing yet, but the writing is also really good. The character voices are great, the jokes land, and the story is really interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.

[vigilskeep]

AU where maybe Morri comes to Vigil Keep to help her HoF Bestie/Baby Daddy every now and again but doesn't SAY anything, there's just a kid with her. Who needs to know that kid is a OGB. Who needs to know that the new Kings bastard or Their Commanders kid or even Loghains? Maybe someone (Anders) sees Kieran.

*cut to the future*

Anders: "Wait, you're from Lothering? Ever meet a Morrigan by chance?"

Keir: "You know Morrigan?"

Anders: ".... are you Kierans' father? Morrigans' son?"

Keir: *brain bluescreens a whole decade early over this*

keir is in love with the most jealous man he knows and you people want him to have to answer “i mean, maybe????” to a question like that

[gardensystemtv]

Warden Saadia Brosca

Similarly to how I made a masterpost for Ellaine, I recently started a run with Saadia, because I want to play each of the other origins, and was the most curious about the Dwarf Commoner.

I will update this post as I play her playthrough, and include my choices for her! as always, asks and comments are always welcome! Basic Bio: Name: Saadia Brosca Gender: Woman Pronouns: She/Her Sexuality: Lesbian Origin: Dwarf Commoner Class: Rogue Weapon prefference: Dual wield (daggers) Specializations: none yet

Worldstate: Dwarven Resilience AUs?: None yet

Origin: [Companions] Leske [Choices] * Killed the Lyrium Smuggler * had Leske poison her proving opponent * Fought in the provings, and revealed her identity when confronted * Escaped the carta base, killing only the guard (used stealth for everyone else) * Talked to Duncan at the proving * Eagerly joined Duncan to become a warden [Headcanons] * Highly respects Duncan, he is one of the only people in the proving to not show her disrespect for being a casteless. * Sees becoming a warden as her chance to show what she truly can do, and prove her worth.

Ostagar [Choices] * Killed the Prisoner to steal his key * Helped muzzle the Mabari for treatment * Looted the contents of the lockbox

Lothering [Companions] Leliana & Alistair & Sten [choices] * Reluctant for Morrigan and Flemeth's help. but did not kick Morrigan out of party * Recruited the dog, named Barkagon. * Convinced the bandits a caravan is coming, to avoid paying the toll * Stole their money and killed them anyway * Drove off the chantry sister for the Merchant * Lockpicked Sten's cage to recruit him * Killed Loghain's men in the tavern * Begrudgingly recruited Leliana [Headcanons] * Saadia did not trust Flemeth or Morrigan at all, and wanted to leave the hut as quickly as possible * as I am going through conversation options, Alistair kinda hates Saadia already, mostly because she tends to dig through his attempts at deflection, and tries to force him to answer her questions. * Morrigan also has a low approval, since Saadia does not trust magic in any form * Leliana and Sten are doing well aproval wise, she appreciates Sten's directness. And Leliana seems to be trying to claw at her heart regardless of her cold exterior.

Redcliffe: Saadia's first destination was to swing south of Lake Calenhad to Orzammar, but Redcliffe was along the way, and Alistair insisted on stopping there. [Companions] Sten & Alistair & Leliana [Choices] * Saadia stayed to protect the town. While tempted to leave, she wanted to try and find the Arl. * Threatened Dwyn into staying to fight. * Threatened the kid into giving her his father's blade * Killed Berwick * Lots of people died during the defense, rip * KIlled Jowan in his cell (distrustful of mages, blood mages especially) * With Jowan being dead, Saadia did not know about the ritual to save Connor * Saadia decided to kill Connor to end the demonic possession. [Headcanons] * Going for this route is ROUGH but I wanted Saadia to have a strong "i don't trust magic" stance, so I got backed into a corner. I do not recommend going this route for any other character.

(this post will be expanded as I progress further in the playthrough)

[storybookhawke]

Canon-ish AU where Hawke is a vampire (sexy handers edition)

Hawke, a vampire but not a mage, doesn’t approach Anders for maps before Anders sets off to the chantry to rescue Karl. Instead, Hawke tracks the elusive warden down just as he starts fighting the waves of templars. He intervenes just in time, but Anders is gravely injured so he bites him to start the turning process to save his life (since lbr even with justice he wasn’t winning that fight against all those templars).

Anders wakes up in the early morning back at the clinic, with a strange man staring him down from across the room. The man introduces himself simply as Hawke, and explains that he rescued him from the templars who almost certainly would have killed him. Anders asks about the other man there, the tranquil man, and Hawke says it was too late to save him. He was only able to save Anders. It's devastating news to Anders, though in the back of his mind he knew he wasn't going to win, but at least he would have died beside Karl.

Now intertwined by fate, Anders learns exactly how Hawke saved him. He could have sworn he was on death's door! Hawke explains more of what it's like to be a vampire. Sunlight directly touching him will severely burn him, even killing them with prolonged exposure. But the clinic is in Darktown, and most of his life can still be conducted at night. Not to mention, Hawke has invited him on a trip to the Deep Roads, where sunlight never touches so their entire trip would be safe. He owes it to Hawke for saving his life, and he'll hopefully get some funds out of it too.

As vampires, they must drink blood. Hawke finds willing people easily in Kirkwall, but sometimes it's from unwilling victims too. He explains that some people will sell or trade their blood to him, but drinking too much too often will kill his sources. Vampire venom has a aphrodisiac effect on others, so they're so consumed by lust that they don't even notice they're being drained. The unwilling are at least consenting to the rest of it and have a good time. Hawke finds his meals where he can--though the older the vampire, the less they need to drink.

Anders doesn't love the idea of hurting innocents as a healer, so Hawke offers to look around for more people who would willingly sell him their blood. But in the meantime, Hawke says Anders can drink from him directly. Vampires drinking from other vampires doesn't taste as good nor satisfy as long, but it works. As previously warned, Hawke gets the aphrodisiac effect from Anders--flushed red, chest heaving, hard beneath the belt. Their eyes connect, and Anders feels it too, like it's contagious. He offers to help Hawke finish with his mouth, it's only polite, not that it's any chore since Anders finds him super attractive.

Now being available during the same hours, Anders accompanies Hawke about on his business. He learns that Hawke is over a hundred years old, lived all across Ferelden but most recently in Lothering, and escaped the Blight just as many others have. Anders learns about vampire culture, which of course varies depending on the region that the vampire is from, and how vampires don't tend to turn many because of territorial issues. Too many vampires gallivanting around Thedas would eventually spiral out of control, especially with the blood ecosystem, so the remaining vampires tend to only turn their lovers if necessary.

[flashhwing]

in my warden cousland-hawke au, i think Leandra and Bethany and Carver, believing that all grey wardens died at ostagar (carver's eyewitness account is pretty harrowing), would leave Lothering before Hawke and Alistair and Morrigan come through, which is before Hawke starts calling himself Cousland

the result of this is you've got the three Hawkes in Kirkwall getting letter from survivors of Lothering like "hey just thought you should know your other son is alive! we saw him after the battle but before the village was destroyed!"

but then they're also hearing about how the Only Two Surviving Ferelden Grey Wardens Ended The Blight! Warden (now King) Alistair Theirin and Warden (now Arl/Warden-Commander) Whatsisname Cousland! Hawke who the fuck is he never heard that name idk are you sure he's a warden?

and they are simply not sure what to believe

[catofadifferentcolor]

An Incomplete List of Dragon Age AU Fic Ideas

A Curious Thing Happened on the Way to the Conclave: In which the Inquisitor is a Spirit of Curiosity who enjoys being trapped in the mortal world just a little too much

Forget-Me-Not: In which an amnesiac Inquisitor Trevelyan learns he was once Corypheus' second-in-command, and gradually comes to terms with his villainous past

From Lothering with Love: In which a case of mistaken identity makes Edmund Hawke the Champion of Kirkwall and the Hero of Fereldan and the Herald of Andraste

The Magister Who Loved Me: In which Dorian Pavus bends the laws of time to save his lover, Inquisitor Lavellan, but winds the clock back just a little too far

The Name of the Dragon: In which Razikale has been hiding out in the mountains since the Warden killed her dragon cult, but could get used to this Inquisitor thing

Time Loops Are Forever: In which this is not the first time Inquisitor Lavellan has saved the world, though he'd very much like this to be the last

[hollyand-writes]

In this chapter, Merrill, Tamlen and Mahariel go on tour... and decide to stop by Lothering after all. Huge thanks to @storybookhawke for this lovely art – original artwork post (without text) is here.

Title: A Chance Engagement Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Chapters: 57/? Pairings: Eventual Carver/Merrill, background F!Mahariel/Tamlen and F!Hawke/Isabela; other pairings not revealed yet Other characters: Marian Hawke, Bethany Hawke, Leandra Hawke, Isabela, Tamlen, Fenarel, Female Mahariel, Keeper Marethari, Sabrae Clan, Arishok, Pol, Dragon Age: Redemption Characters (Chapters 51 to 53)   Other tags: Alternative Universe – Regency, Pride & Prejudice References, Bethany and Carver Hawke Live, Pride & Prejudice AU, Fluff and Humour, Ballroom Dancing, Secret Relationships, Comedy of Errors, Jane Austen References, Pining, Rejected Marriage Proposals     Summary: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, Lady Leandra Amell tried to impress upon her three children, that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife. However she hoped this wisdom would be received by her offspring, Lady Amell was dismayed to find that it had not had the effect she intended.” Regency AU. When Miss Merrill attends the Kirkwall public assembly ball, the last man she expects to engage in a dance is Carver Hawke – a single man who has just come into possession of a large fortune. This chance meeting, however, sets them both on a path they never expected. READ FROM THE BEGINNING ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

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The weeks passed away quickly; and the period of Merrill’s much-anticipated travels arrived. The night before, Merrill had been so excited she thought she would not sleep; and on the morning itself she flitted about so happily and exuberantly, that Keeper Marethari could not temper her high spirits if she tried. Merrill believed that even Tamlen and Mahariel were not as happy as she was, even though they themselves were clearly excited and cheerful that morning, given they were setting off in pursuit of novelty and amusement with her. 

Tamlen himself was in such good humour that he even agreed to accompany Merrill and Mahariel in calling on the Hawke sisters before they went – although he insisted that their visit was as brief as possible, for he wanted to cross the Waking Sea and reach Ferelden well before nightfall – and this they did, although Miss Bethany was out again with her mother, and they found Miss Hawke all alone and writing a letter.  

‘Bethany will be so disappointed to have missed you,’ Miss Hawke told them, as she folded up her letter to seal it, ‘but I am thankful you decided to take leave of us before you depart for the countryside. And it is an honour, Mr Sabrae,’ she continued politely to Tamlen, ‘that you decided to accompany your wife and cousin. I bid you all safe travels and adieu, and look forward to hearing all about them when you eventually return to Kirkwall.’ 

‘I will miss you!’ Merrill cried as she hugged her friend, taking Miss Hawke so much by surprise that the latter dropped the folded letter she had been holding. ‘Oh! I am so sorry, Miss Hawke – let me get that for you—’ and here Merrill bent down to pick up the parchment that had floated to the floor; Miss Hawke had bent down for it too; but, in her nervousness at having done something wrong again, Merrill was quicker. 

As she picked up the sheet of paper, which was full with Miss Hawke’s handwriting, Merrill caught sight of the words:  

I will submit to any thing you may command me—but cease to respect, to love and adore you, I never can or will. 

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[lavenderstobins]

who's who in the dragon age au?????

Bear with, this might get long, so I’ll try and break it down by game.

Dragon Age: Origins

Chrissy is the Warden / the Hero of Ferelden, recruited by senior Grey Warden Ser Robert Buckley. I haven’t yet decided her class. Jason had been one of the recruits too but he either didn’t survive the Joining or was killed when trying to back out of it.

Jeff is the other Grey Warden, essentially filling Alistair’s role. Haven’t yet decided whether to incorporate more of Alistair’s plot for him yet! He’s a warrior.

Eddie and Wayne live in the Wilds. Eddie fills Morrigan’s role initially, with Wayne able to save Chrissy and Jeff at Ostagar—not as Flemeth, but as a passerby. Eddie’s a mage!

Nancy fills Leliana’s role. She’s a former chantry sister and a bard. She and Mike are fleeing from Lothering when they meet the trio. Nancy’s a rogue, Mike is a warrior.

Freak joins them at Redcliffe, where Jeff was raised. I’m thinking Freak is a warrior.

Gareth is a Crow (assassin) sent by Brenner to take out Chrissy. Nancy takes him out with ease and he offers to join them on their journey. He’s a rogue.

Barb also lived in Lothering, but she died in the darkspawn attack. She’d been a chantry sister same as Nancy.

Chrissy makes the ultimate sacrifice in order to end the Blight, leaving Jeff as the only Ferelden Grey Warden. He’s the one who goes to find the cure. The group separate after Chrissy’s death, which brings us to:

Dragon Age 2

Steve and Robin are both simultaneously Varric and Hawke. Steve finds his passion in storytelling and writes about their adventures and Robin ends up with the title Champion of Kirkwall. Steve’s the one with the family estate, Robin’s the one with the blood connection to seal away Henry Creel.

Vickie fills the role of the surviving twin, having escaped Lothering with Robin back when the Blight broke out. She contracts the Taint during the Deep Roads expedition and is saved by Jeff and recruited to be a Grey Warden.

Tommy and Carol fill Bartrand’s role, being behind the Deep Roads expedition. Tommy finds the lyrium idol and it eventually drives him mad, which prompts Carol to seek Steve and Robin out years later (after she and Tommy had abandoned them in the Deep Roads prior).

The Byers run the Darktown clinic. Will’s the apostate healer, with Jonathan and Joyce running the clinic with him and keeping him secret.

Max stole a Qunari relic and is trapped in Kirkwall, just like Isabela.

Lucas and Erica are two rogues who live in Kirkwall, friends with the Byers. Dustin’s also friends with them and has far too much of an interest in runes and magic despite not being a mage.

El’s a former circle mage, now apostate, who escaped the circle with the help of a Templar named Benny. Lucas, Erica, Dustin and El imprint on Steve and Robin like ducklings; I think they’d be getting into trouble in the city and Steve & Robin would intervene once and they’d immediately latch on.

Billy would be Meredith I think, I haven’t thought too much about it. I also don’t have anyone specifically behind the chantry incident at the end of the game yet.

Dragon Age: Inquisition

Nancy’s a nightingale now, still filling Leliana’s role.

Eddie’s the Inquisitor rather than Morrigan, having been at the wrong place at the wrong time. He has the rift anchor in his hand.

Steve, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, Max, El, Jonathan and Joyce come to Skyhold once Skyhold is established. Steve claims to have no clue of Robin’s whereabouts, intending to keep her safe.

Hopper I think would have Cullen’s role, being a templar and an advisor. The other advisors are Mr Clarke, Nancy and Murray.

Briefly mentioned prior, I’ve got Henry Creel/Vecna as Corypheus. Robin’s father (Ser Robert Buckley) sealed him away years ago and Steve & Robin accidentally unleashed him while ironically trying to prevent his release.

Argyle is the potions master. I think Jonathan would become the stable master.

Vickie reappears as the Grey Warden contact for Here Lies the Abyss.

They don’t all fit the characters 1:1, more their roles in the plot, and as you can tell there’s a lot of overall changes! It’s SO fun though I’m having a blast

[sundogsandrainbows]

STORY SUMMARY: Trust is a delicate flower that needs to get nurtured and time to grow. Even more so love. A tale of two disparate Wardens forced together, of finding a way to overcome the distrust, and their own painful past in the time of the Blight. Very in-depth, character-focused exploration of the Dalish origin/warden, of all DA:O companions, and their relationship dynamics during the Fifth Blight. Follows and expands on canon events; AU in some ways. Multiple POV's, origins, and pairings. Slow burn af.

CHAPTER 52 SUMMARY -- SOUNDS OF YESTERDAY, PART I: In order to find the key for the chest left behind by Cailan in Ostagar, the Wardens and companions make a very reluctant detour to Lothering. Or rather what little is left of it, with it being now a destroyed, corrupted husk of a village.

CHAPTER EXCERPT:

[...] Smoke billows cloyed the firmament, obscuring what little daylight was left. Alistair had the infinite wisdom to take a torch with him, lest he’d stumble blindly through the torn down ruins of this village. What made it hard to breathe and watered his eyes wasn’t just the plumes of smoke from the fires still burning. It was the corruption here, like a leaden cobweb it wrapped itself all around them, stealing all life and oxygen. No wonder the man they’d met had contracted the taint sickness for entering here, for it was absolutely and entirely darkspawn territory now. Dead land, rotten and destroyed to what seemed its core. Unthinkable that it could ever recover from it, not with how thick the stench of death permeated the air.

“Ugh, lovely.” Lenya kicked at a stone in frustration. He illuminated the ground for a closer look at it, which was a baaaad idea in hindsight. Since it wasn’t a stone after all… but a small skull, long since picked clean. Maker, if that wasn’t belonging to an animal then… no. Nope. Nope . Refusal to complete this thought was the best course of action here, and the only valid one. “It is even worse than I expected it to be here.”

“Yeah.” Hard to imagine now that they were walking through this then-intact village almost half a year ago. Fresh-faced and thrown together after the tragedy that was Ostagar and their near death experience, in the search for information and equipment for their larger than life quest. It always had held the air of despair, filled to the brim with refugees as it were, but this here… was a completely disparate world. Theirs , to be exact. And every place would look like this, whole cities turned graveyards, should they fail. So many more people would die, futures and hopes crushed underfoot by incessant floods of darkspawn hordes. It was all the pressure, all the burden now visualized in this forsaken place; of what was at stake and expected of them both –just the two of them– that robbed him of all oxygen. How could he ever— The ground began to spin around him and with the torch still in hand, Alistair stumbled to a house's ruin at the side, to empty out his stomach into the snow-covered, decayed soil in front of it. The torch cluttered to the ground as he doubled over to heave. [...]

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