#losing my mind waiting for the 28th

[embodiment-of-stress]

Happy one year Riptide hiatus! How we all feelin'?

[rochenn]

in a time before time ...

[jensthwa]

show & tell pt. 2 (SMG x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

After the… masterclass you gave Mingi the night before, you’re left anxious on what the future holds for you both. But there’s a pool party you promised you would attend and there’s not really time for you to figure your feelings out before your best friend shows up at your door to drive you to it. So maybe today is not the day to figure your feelings out, right? It’s just a pool party anyways, so nothing out of the ordinary is going to happen… right?

PAIRING: best friend!mingi x afab reader.

GENRE: childhood best friends (idiots) to lovers.

WORD COUNT: 11k.

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) anxiety attack, attempt !!! at comedy, wooyoung being a little shit part two ft jongho, a new oc being the voice of reason, reader is clueless and in denial i fear, jealousy, miscommunication, fighting so this part is just a tiny bit angsty :(, confessions, teasing, face sitting, hand job, car sex (don't do it in public people, it can get you arrested), pet names (love and baby), a plot line at the end none of you guys are going to get until my new wip drops but it's worth the wait!

NOTES: hey everyone! thank you so much for patiently waiting for this second and last part to drop. i think that, after this one, if you guys want to request any drabbles or if i come up with some scenarios for this couple i will post them but for now nothing is on the works. what is on the works is a wip that's part of the same universe as this one, so pay attention to the new characters i mention if you want any clues! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: july 28th 2024.

TAGLIST (sorry if i forgot anyone, pls let me know!): @vannerriin / @mingtinysworld / @purple-bell / @bakepotatoman / @nxy3h / @taehyungmami / @nxcxllxsevens / @breadpuddingboys / @hotteokkay

masterlist.

When you wake the next morning, the consequences of restless sleep show up in your face as a reminder of what happened the night before. 

It's not that you regret it, it's more the fact that you feel so unapologetic about messing with the perfect dynamic you have with Mingi that caused you to toss and turn so much. 

Last night, after putting your duvet back on and then crashing into the mattress feeling all tingly and giddy, you asked yourself a thousand questions. 

The main one being: What the fuck did you do? 

The words kept repeating over and over in your head, your voice of reason (or your anxiety) screaming at you to get your phone and make it right before everything becomes a complicated, unresolvable mess. 

You had a brief moment of panic and heavy breathing, your chest tight with unspoken emotion and your eyes filled with tears. 

It was too much, so you forced yourself up and paced around for what felt like hours trying to get your feet back on the ground. Nothing was working, so you sat down at your desk and rested your forehead against it. 

When you didn't feel the usual coolness of the wood, a comfort sensation for when your studies got the best out of you for the day, and instead felt a pen almost stab you in the eye, you -very confused- leaned back. 

Mingi’s notebook and the pen he didn't put back on the pencil case seemed to stare back at you lovingly instead of mocking you for losing control over your own emotions. 

A sense of peace washed over you when you flipped the pages and landed on the instructions he wrote down. Memories of the amazing years you have had by his side started crossing your mind, like recomforting flashes that allowed your heartbeat to go back to normal: 

The first day you saw Mingi, chasing behind a worn out soccer ball and then kicking it so hard it landed on your lawn. 

The first time you two hugged, when your dad scolded you for having bad grades until you cried in front of him. 

The way he held your hand before heading inside to take the college admission exam, last year of highschool. 

His kind eyes. His reassuring smile. The way he made you feel just a few hours back. 

There's no getting rid of me either, love.

We'll figure it out. 

Letting a few contained tears run down your cheeks, you nodded to yourself as if he was there in the room with you. 

Yeah, you'll figure it out.  

And then proceeded to, very much, not figure shit out for the rest of the night. You could still feel his hands everywhere and hear his voice against your ear whispering how much he knows you and pays attention to you. 

You are fucked. 

It's all you can think about when you get ready for the day. It's all you can think about when you help your dad with lunch and when you let your parents know at the table that you are going out that same afternoon. 

“Mingi is driving you, right?” 

“Yeah…” you whisper in response, eyes focused on one specific spot at the table and mind a million years away from the conversation. 

“Good. He's such a good kid, Y/N, I'm glad he knows how to take care of you.” 

Choking on air when your brain finally catches up to her words, you look back up at your mother in shock “W-what?” 

“Yeah honey, what? Y/N can take care of herself,” your father chips in, unaware of your red cheeks or the honest expression of panic you're giving both of them “She's a big girl that carries around that, uh… What was it?— Ah, that pepper spray I gave her, right?” 

“R-right.” 

He lets out a satisfied see? at your answer, gives you a tiny smile and gets up from the table to take his finished plate over to the sink. 

Your mom stays behind, giving you a look you can't quite read before her usual calm expression washes it away. Only then, you can take a proper, very needed, calming breath. 

“I need to get ready. Thank you for the food.” 

“You made it, dear.” 

“I mean! For taking care of the, uh, plates,” you clumsily correct yourself right away, getting up from the table as well “Love you. Bye!” 

You don't miss the confused giggle on your way to your room and when you're behind closed doors, you finally take into consideration that you might be, in fact, overreacting.

Not much, you think, but just enough to give your feelings away. And it's truly a shame, because you were planning on concealing and bottle everything up until it, inevitably, blows up in your face. 

Maybe not the smartest option. 

If you bang your head against the wall with enough force maybe, just maybe it’ll help—

Someone's texting you. 

> gi: heeeeey > gi: just woke up lol > gi: had the best sleep ever tho > gi: how are you, love? 

Okay. So normal texting it is. Maybe your initial plan of just pretending nothing happened is, coincidentally, Mingi’s plan as well. 

So you type in it's literally almost one, ya lazy and let your thumb hover over the send button, eyebrows creased at a sudden realization. 

The casual texting annoys you. 

Sure, Mingi is used to keeping everything casual between him and the people he sleeps with, but you're not just anyone! You didn't sleep together, either! 

Oh, maybe that's why. 

But it ticks you off either way. 

Is he not feeling the same way you do? Did it mean something different for him than it did to you? What did it even mean to you in the first place?

Why, after all the panic you felt the night before, did you have any sort of expectation for today? 

It doesn't make any sense. 

You hit send. 

> gi: aaaaand?  > gi: god forbid a man gets a good night's rest after being thrown off a bed. 

Scoffing, your eyes roll before you can even control it and, to your demise, the giddiness returns. You respond with did you get hurt? awww and raise a hand to your blushed cheek before sending the message.

> gi: yeah wtf  > gi: my butt is all bruised.  > gi: kiss it better? 

Oh. 

Not casual texting. At. All. 

Or maybe it is? 

Ugh.

Blanking on everything Mingi has ever texted you before, you decide it's best to entertain yourself by getting all pretty to sit around the house party tonight and do nothing else instead of torturing your confused brain any longer. 

Using the help of an emoji to flip him off and, hopefully, gather yourself together enough to get ready, you shoot him another text rushing him to do the same because you don't want to be late. 

And he usually takes forever to get ready anyways.

Showering with very cold water, taking a good thirty minutes to decide whether to wear something comfy and fitting or sexy and fitting for the party do the job when it comes to taking your mind off him for, at least, the time being. 

Yunho was insistent the day before in that you didn't need to bring a bathing suit if you didn't want to, but you pack one anyways because you can sense Wooyoung's and Jongho’s intentions even if the youngest couldn't make it to your impromptu gathering yesterday. 

They know you hate when they get away with annoying you and throwing you into the nearest body of water -in this case, Yunho’s pool- in front of many people you don't know (therefore, you are not going to able to go insane mode on them) seems like the perfect opportunity to get away with it.

The last time they did it you weren't really able to scold them properly either, so they laughed and pointed at you until you threatened to kick their asses in a very dishonest but playful way. 

Mingi, of course, did nothing but laugh along with everyone else and then kiss your forehead as an apology later that day. 

That was last summer and since then both perpetrators have treated you to meals and buttered you up enough for you to forgive (as if you didn't do that the morning that followed the incident) but you never forget. 

Maybe you should. It would make the sight of Mingi parking outside your house easier, you think.

You're sure he's parking outside just to give your dad, who comes out to greet him with a hug, some peace of mind. He's very protective of you and he trusts Mingi even if he gives him a hard time everytime he sleeps over or takes you somewhere.  

Like now, you have a very clear view through your window of the sermon he's giving your best friend. You don't hear it but he's moving his hands in the air way too much for it not to be a clear step by step on what to do if you run into any trouble on the way to Yunho's. 

Mingi likes step by step and he's good at following instructions, so you don't think it's going to be an issue. 

God damnit, Y/N, get it together. 

Sighing, you pick up your bag, check your outfit once in front of the mirror, and rush downstairs and out of the door. 

“You do know how to change a tire, son?” 

Mingi is standing in front of your dad with his hands behind his back and a tight smile. 

“Yes sir, my dad taught me and then at the school they made sure I didn't forget about it.” 

“And make sure to—” 

“Could you let the guy breathe, dad?” 

They both turn to, your dad wears a mocking smile and you see Mingi’s tight one breaks into a genuine one a second later. A grateful one, even. 

He looks really good. Which is insane, considering that to you he looked like Chewbacca just yesterday morning. 

Crazy what a good orgasm can do to a person. Or maybe it's the first time you ever let yourself see him in this light. Either way, he's wearing light wash jeans and a fitted t-shirt that clings to him just right and it's going to drive you insane, you can just feel it. 

“I was just making sure that he—” 

“Knows what to do,” you nod “He knows what he's doing, dad. Stop giving him a hard time,” you give your dad a quick kiss on the cheek and then rush to the passenger seat, giving Mingi a glance so he can get in the car as well. 

“Alright. Love you, take care!” 

“Love you too, Mr. L/N!” Mingi says, getting into his seat and giving your dad the opportunity to see when he fastens his seatbelt. He doesn't say anything else, even though he didn't tell Mingi specifically that he loved him and instead gives you both a nod of approval. 

When Mingi finally drives off your street and into the main one, you sigh in relief. 

“He's neeever going to trust me, huh?” 

“He trusts you,” you say right away, cheek resting against the seat so you can take a proper look at him “I'm his only daughter and you're a man after all. Cut him some slack.” 

“He never cuts me some slack!” he fights back but you just laugh and he can't help but join you “You look really good, by the way. A dress? Are you trying to impress someone?” The tone he uses sparks the remaining tension from the night before, like zero time has passed since he kissed you goodnight by your front door. 

When you got into the car with Mingi, you didn't consider that you two would be alone for, at least, forty minutes before getting to your destination. Your mind skipped the fact that he has this new ability to fluster you by just existing near you and you curse it for not letting you prepare well enough for the way he's looking at you right now. 

“Obviously,” you answer in a whisper, clearing your throat a second later “Wooyoung needs to be distracted so he doesn't tackle me into the pool the second we get there. Don't know if it's gonna work on Jongho, though.” 

Mingi clicks his tongue, baring his teeth and pretending to really think about it “I don't think so, love. You'll have to bribe him into considering dropping their whole summer schtick for you.” 

“You can help me with that.” 

“Can I now?” 

“Yeah. You can just… lock him up in a room and my dress can do the rest of the work.” 

Your best friend laughs and then takes a hand off the steering wheel to roll the hem of your dress in between his thumb and index. His knuckles brush against your thigh and you almost -almost- make a noise at the sensation. 

“It's not the dress, love… It's who's wearing it.” 

A bit of silence passes within the both of you. 

“Shut the fuck up, Song Mingi.” 

Laughter fills the car and drowns out the honking on the other side of the street and you wonder why you were worried in the first place. 

Nothing has changed. 

Aside from the intention laced with the flirting, it feels the same way it ever did and you couldn't be more glad because now that you know Mingi doesn't hate you (like you thought for a brief moment last night) or wants to hard launch a relationship that doesn't exist to your friends the second he gets them all together in the same room, you can enjoy the car ride and the evening that's about to follow it.

So you flirt with him freely, listen and sing along to songs that just feel like summer summarized in three minutes of exquisite writing and roll your window down once Mingi takes a turn into a hill, trees replacing the buildings you're so used to seeing. 

Your friend is rich rich. His family makes good money and his parents go on lots of business trips. That being said, it's the first time you actually attend one of his parties, and so when you get to Yunho’s house and ring the doorbell, you’re caught by surprise because you can already hear the loud music playing in the backyard and the blend of new and familiar voices through the thick door. 

You expect him to open the door for you but Seonghwa’s smile is the first thing you see before you and Mingi both have the opportunity to step in. 

“You made it!” 

“It's pretty hard to miss this house, Hwa.” 

Your older friend side-hugs you and stays by your side while Mingi takes it upon himself to put your bags for the day in the pile of other bags next to the door “How are you doing today?” 

You're about to answer but when you look at him, you see him staring at Mingi, so you do too. He's staring at Hwa with a little smile “I'm doing good. I blocked her and everything and I can confidently say that…” he turns to you “My ego’s not bruised anymore.” 

If Seonghwa catches the spark between you and you best friend, he decides to ignore it “That's goo—” 

“Mingi!” 

What the hell is she doing here? 

Not, not that bitch from yesterday but this girl who Mingi meets with sometimes. You don't really know her, you just know she's gorgeous and that her name starts with an h, maybe? 

She's a fashion major and it shows in the way she's dressed up today. Truly, an enjoyable company whenever she's around at frat parties, a saving grace when you're tired of surrounding yourself with only men. 

Right now? She's your worst nightmare. 

Wrapping her arms around Mingi’s neck and getting on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek, she smiles like she knows she's getting laid tonight and your best friend does nothing to pull her away. 

She doesn't even say hi to you before dragging him to the backyard! You and Seonghwa follow them and when she takes Mingi’s arm and pulls him over to -you assume- introduce him to her friends, you almost stomp your feet like a little kid. 

Trying to get rid of the annoyed frown on your face, you turn to Hwa with a teasing smile and your eyebrows raised. 

“Well fuck me, am I right?” 

“I might!” Arms wrap around your waist and you feel Woo’s chin resting on your shoulder immediately after “That's a very nice dress, Y/N.” 

If Mingi was next to you, like you want him to be, you would give him a I told you so glance. Instead, you just look at Seonghwa with absolute horror before he snickers and goes away. 

“Right? And it looks horrible when it's drenched in nasty chlorine water.” 

“You can't possibly know that.” 

“I know a lot of things and— No! Woo, please don't,” you beg when he lifts you off the ground for a second. Behind you, you hear laughs and, even though you can't see them, you know it's San and Jongho “I just got here and I haven't even changed yet, please.” 

He turns you around and hugs you properly this time before letting you go. You take the opportunity to punch him in the arm and then go over to San and Jongho to do the same. 

“We'll let you get your swimsuit on this time.” 

“You're so considerate, Jong. Seriously, they're going to give you the Nobel prize if you don't stop.” He mocks you, repeating what you just said in a higher pitched voice and you laugh as you sit next to Wooyoung’s ex-girlfriend, Gyuri. 

San also has a girl sitting beside him with his arm around her, but you don't really know her so you just wave at her. They're all in their bathing suits already “See how he tried to flirt with me to try to get me with my guard down? He's a monster.” 

“And in front of me, too? The nerve on this guy.” Gyuri, of course, backs you up immediately and you want to return her smile, but you can see Mingi from the corner of your eye and it's distracting. 

“Oh, they're ganging up on me already,” Wooyoung whines, sitting down in front of you both and handing you a drink “It's like my worst nightmare.” 

“He's enjoying it, don't let him convince you otherwise,” San says, getting up from his seat and taking his girl with him “Especially coming from you.” He points at Gyuri and you laugh. 

“We're just friends now!” 

“That's what you told me like three years ago before—” 

Wooyoung gets up to chase after him and San lets go of the girl's hand to try to get away from him. 

Turns out, you're not the one Woo tackles into the pool. This time, him and San crash down on the water hard and a few droplets of water wet your feet. Gyuri laughs and everyone else does too when they realize what's happening. 

Jongho gets up and joins them in the water soon after to try and help (kinda, not really) San escape the wrath of his best friend. 

You almost miss it, because you take the opportunity to look at your best friend and, when you do, he's already looking at you. 

Breath catches on your throat and the lump that forms afterwards has a name and a reason: Mingi is looking at you with so much longing it physically hurts. 

He looks like wants to drop everything and come and confuse your fragile mind even more, just like he did the night before. 

Then why the fuck is he there with whatever her name is and her friends and not sitting right next to you? 

You look away, grasping your drink for emotional support and convincing yourself you're starting to see things that are not actually there. 

“Why the fuck are y'all fighting this time?!” Yunho comes from inside the house and it's the first time you see him today “No choking! No running! It's literally in the rules!” 

“Wooyoung please let go of my boyfriend!” 

Ah. So she is San’s girlfriend. Still, you turn to Gyuri to ask. 

“Who is sh—” 

“San’s new girlfriend, Kyungmi. We don't give a fuck about her or San right now, we're mad at them,” you want to ask who we is, because Wooyoung seems like he's just playing, but she interrupts you again “What the fuck is going on with you and Mingi?” 

Huh?! 

You make a quick mental review of your plan. Conceal? Clearly it didn't work. Bury your emotions deep so no one notices? You probably can't recover from the way you smile just dropped. 

The only thing left on the list is pretend that you're insane, but you're not sure it'll work either. So you turn it on her: “Nothing much. He played Espresso like three times on a row on the way here and I almost kill him, but—” 

“You can't bullshit me, Y/N.” 

Great, that didn't work either. 

“I saw that. Seonghwa did too but he got up before I could convince him to ambush you,” she dramatically sighs, chugging the rest of her drink down “So, what is going on?” 

“Nothing,” that much is true “he's literally with a girl right now.” 

“And she will never mean as much to him as you do. Next.” 

“Gyuri… I really don't know what you want me to say.” 

Squinting her eyes at you suspiciously, Gyuri takes her time before answering and you fidget in your seat a little. Wooyoung liked her for a reason, she's feisty and goes straight to the point and it's something you usually admire but right now it's not the time for her to do this. 

“I just thought maybe it finally happened…” She whispers and shrugs the entire conversation off before getting up “Let's head inside. They're going to start grilling meat at any second and I also don't want to be near Wooyoung when he gets out of there.” She points at him and you laugh. 

Jongho has him in a chokehold and Yunho is trying to separate them while San desperately swims towards his girl that's still waiting for him near the edge of the pool. 

“Sure thing.” 

You pretend you don't feel Mingi's eyes on you as you move. 

This is not unusual. Whenever you all go to parties, hosted by someone inside of the friend group or not, you end up separating from Mingi. 

He does his thing. He's outgoing and he likes dancing while you enjoy conversation and drinking away at the rest of the party, occasionally making out with someone and calling it a night when your social battery runs out. 

So you hang out with Gyuri in the kitchen until the sun starts going down and when the last ray of it disappears you decide it's time to swim a bit before you're too tipsy for it to be safe. 

Grabbing your bag and greeting some new people you don't know at the door, you head up to the bathroom you are told by the host himself it's upstairs. 

When you're tying up the strands of your swimsuit, the door slams open and you jump and cover yourself up with your hands because you're not able to finish the job, so the strands fall down and the only thing holding the top part of the fabric it's you. 

“What the fuck, Mingi?” 

Turning around, you're only able to look at him through the mirror. 

“Lock the door next time! What if it was somebody else?” 

“People usually knock!” 

“I didn't mean to scare you, it's the door’s fault,” he makes a fool of himself trying to prove it “See? I— let me help you with that,” he closes the door again and, this time, he locks it before taking a short step and grabbing the strands of your top “It's the second time this week I scare you like that, huh? I’m sorry, love.” He ties the strands together with a secure knot and his apology finally allows your tense muscles to relax. 

You remind yourself that there's no valid reason for you to be mad at him. You'll figure it out, he said it himself, and maybe today is not the day to do so. 

But he's not stepping away once he's finished, he's not even saying anything else before his hands grab your waist and his chest collides to your back. 

Looking at him through the mirror again, you silently ask him with your eyes what he thinks he's doing. He ignores you, bending down so the tip of his nose can trace the skin on the side of your neck. 

“I missed you,” his voice sounds like honey when he says it and you, once again, curse the ability he has to make you crumble “and you disappeared like an hour ago.” 

You let out a sigh. 

“I was in the kitchen, Mingi, not missing and we were in the same space for at least twenty minutes before that and like… forty minutes in a car, together.” You remind him and he frowns “Besides, you were with Ha… Haneul?” 

“Hanni,” he corrects and you huff out a whatever “and she was introducing me to some of her friends that are in the same major as me, just a year over.” 

“Cool.” 

He pecks your shoulder. You do your best to not melt completely into him and fix your hair in the mirror. 

“Y/N…” he starts and you hum in acknowledgement “I missed you.” 

It pisses you off for some reason. The mature thing to do is to let him know but the words that leave you are petty and laced with annoyance. 

“I’m sure you did, buddy.” 

He grins against your skin and you turn around to face him, eyebrow raising. 

“What's so amusing?” 

At your tone, he seems taken aback but his smile stays curving his lips upwards.

“I'm just really happy to have this moment with you,” he says, matter of factly, and you press your hands against his chest to regain some personal space. He doesn't budge an inch “What's going on?” 

He's such a guy sometimes. 

“You're here, kissing my neck, while a gorgeous girl who I'm sure is waiting for you downstairs is probably bragging to her friends about how she's going home with you tonight and—” 

“Y/N, I'm literally taking you home.” 

“I can easily take a car back— Mingi, seriously,” taking a deep breath, you stare at him with all the honesty you can gather “I don't want to do whatever this is if afterwards you're going downstairs to dance and flirt with Haneul or whatever her name is.” 

He looks like he wants to correct you on it again, so you level him with a daring glance. 

He keeps his mouth shut. 

“And I also don't want you to hurt her feelings if you tell her you can't leave with her tonight, so—” 

“I don't give a shit about her feelings, love.” 

“Mingi, don't say that!” 

“I don't! I wasn't flirting with her at all, either! Listen, it's…” he stops to chuckle for a few seconds “I mean, it's adorable that you're jealous but there's no reason for you to—” 

“Shut the fuck up, Song Mingi.” 

It's the second time today you have said those exact words to him. The first time, you also felt your heart bang with such force against your rib cage but for a completely different reason. 

“I'm not one of the girls you fuck on the side when you're horny or bored out of your mind. Don't fucking treat me like one.” You warn and suddenly the image of you telling him that teaching him yesterday could mess you both up crosses your mind.  

“I'm not, Y/N! I'm just saying that you look adorable when you're—” 

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous when we are not together, Mingi? I'm literally looking out for the girl!” 

“You don't even know her name, love.” 

“That's not the fucking point!” 

He finally takes a step away from you, closing his eyes and taking a calming breath, surely.

Now you're pissed off because he saw right through you and your words. 

That disgusting weight on your chest you felt back by the pool while you kept staring at him from the corner of your eye? Jealousy. 

Now that he brought it up, it makes sense. 

You hate it. 

You always hated being put in a position where you felt the need to compare yourself to others. Always hated how easy it is for anger to run through your blood and infiltrate every waking thought until it clouds your judgment. 

Because you shouldn't be angry. He just said he didn't care about her feelings. 

And yet, all you can think about is that he spent an hour with her instead of you. 

When he turns to you, there's a storm in his eyes and you just don't want to hear it tonight. 

“Save it, keep it, sleep on it and we'll talk tomorrow,” picking your dress from the spot on the floor it's been sitting all this time, you put the fabric on, take your bag and then unlock the door “I’m going home.” 

You don't give him the opportunity to say anything else before getting out of the bathroom but you do hear a groan when you're rushing downstairs. 

Yeosang and Yunho are just leaving the kitchen when you trip on the last step and the host jogs the few steps to you after laughing. 

“There you are, Y/N. Listen, there's some meat already grilled back there but we're—” 

“I'm actually going home, Yun,” you cut him short “I'm not feeling that well. My plan was to swim a little before leaving but I don't think I can do it.” 

“Did something happen or…?” 

What happened is coming downstairs as he asks. 

“Nope. Nothing, I just think I'm catching a cold or something. Thank you so much for inviting me though!” You hug your friend quickly, kissing his cheek before pulling away. 

“Always…” Yunho is very observant but, as you always do, he doesn't press you with questions about what's going on “He's taking you home?” Pointing behind you, you don't have to turn around to get what he means. 

“Ye—” 

“No. He's having a great time here, I don't want to get in the way,” you shrug “I'll just get an uber or something. Don't worry.” 

Yunho frowns slightly, eyes moving from your face to over your shoulder. 

Immature. Petty. Rude. 

You're sure that's the way you’re coming off right now. But feeling anger bubbling behind the smile you give Yunho, you think it's better they make their assumptions instead of actually seeing you upset. 

You move to hug Yeosang as well and he murmurs his farewell. When you turn around, Mingi is no longer there and you don’t spare a look towards the floor to ceiling glass windows that separate the living area from the backyard because you're sure he's sitting right beside that girl again. 

As he should be. 

You bolt for the door, giving your friends a tiny smile before going down the few steps and into the hill. It's already dark and you're sure no uber driver it's going up this hill for the tip you're able to offer them, so you figure your best shot is to go down and try to find a cab on the main street. 

The light from your phone illuminates your scowl as you walk. Past the bushes and the trees and the lines of parallel parked cars where Mingi’s Lexus is. 

You don't notice him there until he opens the backdoor to block your step. 

“Get in the car, I'm taking you home.” 

Closing the door he just opened to stop you, you shake your head. 

“I told you I'm getting a ride and—”

“I don't give a fuck. Get in the car.” And then he's opening his door and closing it so fast it gives you no room for debating. 

He's angry. Shit. 

You can't even see him through the tinted window to assess how much damage you have done, so you look down the hill one more time and wonder if making the run for it is worth it. 

When your phone lights up with a notification from Gyuri asking you if everything's okay and to make it home safe, you take it as a sign to round the car and get into the passenger side with an annoyed huff. 

The engine comes to life. You're not looking at him but at the trees until the leaves start showing the building lights in-between them and soon you're on the main road. 

You can't even ask him to turn the radio on. Stubborn, you refuse to let the anger inside of you dissipate in fear of shame taking over. It's better being angry than being ashamed, at least in this exact moment because you can practically feel Mingi's anger through the silent treatment. 

But you need to say something. The silence is suffocating and the street is surprisingly empty so you can't distract yourself with anything. 

“You shouldn't have bothered.” 

“I am bothered. You bothered me.” 

Clenching your jaw, you turn to him in disbelief “I told you to stay at the goddamn party so we can fix this tomorrow but I bothered you?”

“Did I stutter or something?” 

“No, you're just not making any fucking sense!” 

“Yeah, fuck this,” you see him look around, biting the inside of his cheek like he's holding his words in “We're fixing this right now.” 

The car makes a harsh turn and you have to grab the door for support. 

“Mingi!” He's not listening to you anymore. His hard gaze stays on the road, it feels like forever before he pulls into a somewhat empty parking lot and when the vehicle stops you go to open the door and get the fuck away from him before you two kill eachother inside this car. 

That's an exaggeration but with the way he turns off the car and unbuckles his seatbelt, you know your pride doesn't stand a chance. 

The summer breeze briefly hits your face before his hand is on yours, closing the door and preventing you from, once again, escaping the situation. 

Frustrated, you let out a loud groan “What the fuck is your problem?!” 

“I don't know, Y/N! But I'll tell you what your problem is, alright?” he chuckles. It's a humorless sound, his face painted in something you've never seen before “Your problem is that you assume you know what everyone else is feeling and you assume you're right. But intuition can only get you so far, love, so I need you to take your head out of your ass and think logically for a second.” 

Flabbergasted, you think you murmur something in your defense but he cuts you short. 

“No! You didn't let me get a word out back there so now you're going to shut up and listen,” he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes “You assume you're smarter than everyone else but you're actually so dumb. Dumb, you're acting very dumb and reckless, Y/N! That back there?” he points out of the window to nothing but you know what he means “Leaving— Scratch that. Leaving me and not giving me a chance to say anything back? Trying to go down that hill alone and in the dark? Stupid.” 

Staring back at him with watery eyes, you don't even know what to say back except a whispered excuse me?

“And usually I would beat up anyone who even dares to call you that but I guess all these years I've been wrong about you. Because if you were smart, you would've realized that Hanni means nothing to me and I mean nothing to her. There's nothing, she loves appearances and that's it.” 

You knew that already, but you're not giving your stance up. 

What even is your stance? Ah, right, he treated you like an envious no one back there and not like his best friend.  

“Yeah, I can tell you mean nothing to her from the whiny tone and the hug and the dragging you to meet her friends, Mingi.” Scoffing at the memory, your lips press into a thin line. 

“Well, she's a friendly girl!” 

“She didn't even say hi to me!” 

“So she doesn't like you, Y/N! Who cares!” you sure don't but, again, you just stare at him in disbelief and his open arms, palms to the sky “Do you care? Because I don't! And guess what? I doesn't fucking matter if she likes you or not or if she wants me or not because I like you!” 

What? 

“W-what?” 

“I like you! And I'll choose you over her and everyone else again and again and again until you notice but fuck it's so tiring. You're so fixated on why I let her drag me to her friends that you completely ignored me the rest of the time we were there and maybe if you looked at me more than once you would've realized that I was staring back at you the whole afternoon!” 

You let out an annoyed chuckle “So you were, Mingi.” 

“I was! I was trying to get you to look at me and notice how bad I wanted you to come over, rescue me from that boring ass conversation, grab my hand and claim your place right beside me because—” he pauses, resting a hand on the steering wheel and looking at you like he can't believe he has to spell this out for you “Because I want nothing more than for her and everyone to know I’m yours! I'm sure everyone already fucking knows too, except you. So yeah, sometimes, you're pretty fucking dumb for such a smart woman, Y/N.” 

Words escape you. They escape your mind, your reason and your pride shrinks until it disappears behind all the love you feel for Mingi. 

So that's what you are feeling. That's what you felt yesterday night when the tiredness couldn't drown out your thoughts of him and all he meant to you. 

Love, love, love. In all its forms, in all its possible scenarios. Your heart burns for it and you used to think that your hopeless romantic desires began and died with the movies you tend to see and the books you tend to read, that it was impossible to feel this way for anyone but there he is, chest heaving in the yellow interior light, waiting for you to say something back. 

“And I realize that before yesterday I showed no interest in you but believe me when I say that I—” 

Shakily, you interrupt him with whispered words, heart soaring and hands reaching out to cup his beautiful face “Shut the fuck up, Song Mingi.” 

When you kiss him, you make sure to pour out everything you couldn't say a minute ago into it. 

When he kisses you back with the same feeling, it crosses your mind that he already forgave you. 

And when he grabs your waist and drags you over the break handle and the transmission to collide his chest against yours and drag his tongue along the seam of your bottom lip, you think that, for the first time ever, you have to tell him he's right. 

You are stupid. Stupid for not realizing it sooner, stupid for confusing his longing stares for something platonic, stupid for thinking you could wait until tomorrow to tell him he has the right to see and be with anyone he wants to because this is it. 

This. The way your entire body comes alive when he sighs into your mouth and groans at the way your knee opens up his legs to make room for you on his side of the car and partially on his lap. The way his thumbs run through your cheeks and dry the tears you didn't even feel falling down. The way your heart jumps frantically and the way its beats could get confused by his because you're so close. 

Suddenly and unexpectedly, you can't recall a time Mingi didn't make you feel this exact same way. It's overwhelming, it expands through you like a fire and it knocks the remaining air out of your lungs enough for you to pull away and rest your forehead against his, shaky breaths tangling together and fingers grasping the neck of his shirt in an attempt to ground yourself. 

You sniffle, incapable of not feeling emotional over his confession and your realization “I'm sorry, Mingi. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for treating you that way I was… I behaved like…” 

“An ass.” He nods and you look at him with the ghost of a smile tugging at your lips. 

“Yeah,” you nod as well “I was an ass. A jealous ass.” 

“I know, love.” He whispers, eyes moving on your face before his lips are on yours again, briefly, sweetly, even if you don't feel like you deserve it “You tend to forget that I know you, hm? That I've seen you jealous before? You were an ass back then, too.” 

“Okay! Okay, stop calling me an ass, I get it.” 

“I'm sorry for waiting for you to do something when you didn't even… I guess you didn't know, right? The way I feel about you?” 

“I know now,” you whisper back, nudging your nose against his and then putting some distance so you can see him better “I feel the same way, by the way. We're shit at communicating, apparently, so I'll just tell you now that—” 

His lips are on yours again and he's giggling against them and shaking his head when he pulls away. Brown eyes search for yours and you're not sure what he's looking in them but he seems to find it, his muscles relaxing against the leather of his seat seconds later. 

So you kiss him again. And again and again until your back starts hurting and the steering wheel is pressed uncomfortably against it, forcing you to shift on his hold. 

“Let me… Wait.” He lets you go to pull his seat back and then closes his legs, forcing your knee to fall on his other side so you can fully straddle his lap “That's better. Now come here.” And then he’s grabbing the back of your neck and stealing your breath away again with another kiss.

The tension shifts right then. When he can fully feel you pressing up against him and when a noise escapes you once his hands drop and give your bare legs the attention you didn't even know you were craving. 

You thought a second ago that the sweet kisses would stop once you were both sated with the sweet aftermath of all the yelling and confessing but now you don't want it to stop. 

There's a lot to catch up on, a lot of missed time you need to make up for. 

You still want to make him feel good. The sparks from yesterday come alive again and soon you're yanking the strands of dark hair with your fingers and letting your mouth explore the skin of his neck. When you sink your teeth into his skin, he lets out the same noise he did the night before and you smile against the mark you just made. 

His lips find your shoulder and he breathes hard into it once your hips start moving at their own accord, slowly yet firmly, the pad of his fingers digging hard on your thighs until you break away from his neck to focus on his face again. 

“This goddamn dress, love.” 

Humming, you caress his red cheek with your lips “What about it?” 

“Been thinking about it all day…” 

“It worked, by the way.” 

“Woo?” 

“Mhm. Distracted him so he didn't throw me in the pool right away.” 

“And Jongho?” 

“Probably plotting against me right now.” 

He laughs softly into your skin “Probably.” 

Chuckling as well, you stop your movements and take in how he looks. Gone, a little too fucked up from just making out, lips swollen and eyes clouded with something you're getting too familiar with, too quick. 

“Worked on you, too.” 

He smiles and shrugs, letting his head drop into the headrest “You look good in everything, love. It doesn't really matter what you wear.” 

“Oh?” 

A firm hand trails up your body, slowly, from you leg to your hip, your waist to the side of your breasts and your until it cops your face with affection you never imagined you would experience. 

“I have always thought you are the most beautiful girl to ever exist.” 

This is it. 

Leaning into his touch, your lips connect to the palm of the hand holding you before you lean forward again. 

“I love you, Mingi.” 

He doesn't seem surprised by your confession and you're glad he knows. It doesn't really matter if it's too soon, if you even mean it in a romantic way or not, the love you have for him transcends all labels. 

“I love you too, Y/N.”

And his does too. 

You kiss him until it hurts. 

He kisses you until you're gasping and your body is pleading for more. 

The both of you kiss each other until you're sure nothing else will replace the taste of one another, that it will linger forever even if your paths stop crossing at any point in time. 

It feels like you're trapped somewhere where the clock doesn't tick at all, where you can take your time exploring him with your mouth and your hands. 

And then it doesn't. 

The fabric of the dress starts bothering you, his tight shirt is suddenly not tight enough and the hardness steadily growing and pressing into your core is screaming for attention you can't give him with all these clothes on the way. 

He feels it too, fingers tracing the hem of your dress for the second time today and then they're under it, pulling at the fabric up until it bunches on your waist. 

You're still wearing the swimsuit he helped you put on earlier but it does little to conceal how affected you are. Looking down, you're not even ashamed of it when he follows your eyes and lets his linger on the patch of wetness darkening the color of the bottoms. 

Still, he moves his hands upwards again and soon you're struggling to get the dress off, considering you're almost bumping the roof of the car when you straighten your spine to do so. 

“Wanna know what crossed my mind when I saw you in the bathroom?” 

When it's finally off, he immediately goes for it: His index tracing your collarbone and slowly descending, his short nail dragging against your skin before the rest of his fingers join, right in between your breasts, where there's fabric holding together the top of the swimsuit. 

He could easily tug on it if he wanted to. Instead, he ignores it and presses the heel of his hand against it, forcing you to lean back and almost bump into the steering wheel again. 

Unable to speak and panting, you only nod as a reply to his question. 

“How easy it would be to get on my knees and eat you out. I thought: What if I just…” Using his other hand to mess with the knots that keep the left bottom part of the swimsuit together, he demonstrates what he means without actually doing it, his eyes following the motions “Undo these, get on my knees and make her come all over my face?” 

“Fuck, Mingi…” 

“You would like that, wouldn't you?” He smirks without actually looking at you, the hand on your sternum traveling down against your skin before joining the other one, teasing the knots on the right. 

“Y-yes.” 

Maybe he can see it on your face, the sudden nervousness at the scene he painted before you, because he grabs one of your hands and brings them to his lips before drawing you close again “Please tell me your idiot ex-boyfriend ate you out when you were together.” 

Blush darkening, you make a face that gives the answer away. 

He groans “He's worse than I thought, fuck. Come here.” And without any warning, the back of his seat goes down until it touches the backseat with it.

Bracing yourself against his chest, because you went down with him as well, you huff out a surprised laugh “Go where?” 

“Up here. Let me teach you something tonight.” 

“Mingi…” 

“First, you need to make sure your hands are clean—” 

“Stop,” laughing, you interrupt his bad attempt at teasing you with the same words you used on him yesterday “There's no real support for me if we do this, where do I even—” 

“Knees here,” he motions the backseat and you could actually do it, but you would have to sit on his face instead of hovering like you imagine it would be more comfortable for him “hands here” he points to the grab handle and the headrest of the passenger seat and then straightens his spine a little, bringing his face closer to you so he can whisper right into your worn out lips “Turn the light off, I'll do the rest.” 

He looks like he's going to kiss you but then he falls back onto the seat with an excited smile curving his lips. 

What a tease. 

So of course you turn off the light and prop yourself up into the position he wants to. It's challenging, the car is not that small but it feels like it is and you very much would rather do this on a bed, spare his back and yours in the process, but excitement also runs through your body and your brain stops making up excuses for why should deny yourself of the pleasure of Mingi using his mouth to make you see stars the second his fingers undo the knots and peel the bottom half of your swimsuit off your body with ease. 

Lips trailing up your inner thighs and hands on each side of them, holding you in a secure position, Mingi doesn't tease you much before attaching his mouth to your heat and your subconsciousness flies out the window when his tongue flicks your clit. 

You look down at him and the sight of him enjoying himself has you beaming, the warmth spreads through you and the zeroes on your pussy. You don't even try to quiet down your moans, completely forgetting that you're in a public parking lot that can fill up at any second. 

But paying no mind to it either, Mingi also moans encouragingly into your wet folds when your hips move a little, chasing that high. 

He shifts his focus to your entrance, his tongue working itself into you and when you move your hips again at the feeling, his nose bumps into your clit in a way that has you grasping the headrest for support, right hand slipping down and resting on the window while your mouth hangs open and your eyes shut close. 

“Mingi… Baby, fuck, I'll—” he adds his thumb into his ministrations, pressing it against your clit the way he did yesterday and it only takes a few side to side movements for you to come undone on his mouth. 

And again, the intensity of your orgasm takes you by surprise. It's obviously not as intense as yesterday's but it still got you trembling so you want to curse him out for being that good at what he does. 

He eases you into it, slowing his mouth and you only register that it leaves you completely when your thighs are being kissed tenderly. 

Breathless, you look down at him and catch his smile before his teeth are sinking into your skin and forcing you to hiss out a laugh “Good?” 

“Yeah,” you smile, climbing down from your position and hovering over his lap in an attempt to not ruin his jeans. It's very obvious he enjoyed it too, his crotch holding the evidence tight and probably painfully against the fabric there “Really, really good.” 

You want to get on your knees and return the favor, make him squirm in pleasure, but the space is not working in your favor. So even though your thighs are hurting and sweat is dripping down your neck, you start working on the button and zipper of his jeans before he sits up.

He wants to say something, but your tongue is touching his and tasting yourself on it before he gets the chance. Clumsily, a little too far gone for your liking as well, you are able to get through the layers of clothes and let your hand hang over his dick “Are you gonna make me beg for it today?” 

“You don't have to, love.” 

“Beg?” you ask with a smile that he reciprocates “Or touch you?” your free hand brushes the hair out of his face, sliding down until you're propping his chin up with it, thumb tracing his bottom lip softly “Because I want to touch you. I want to make you feel so, so good, baby. Please.” 

He kisses the pad of your thumb and then takes it into his mouth, tongue caressing the tip of it until you're panting again and then nods. 

That's all the permission you need before taking him with your hand and pulling him out of his boxers. Taking your hand out briefly, you gather up saliva and spit right into it. 

Mingi lets out a noise at that. Interesting. 

Starting slow, you focus on his expression. Testing the waters, taking note of what he likes because, unlike him, you probably pushed to the corner of your mind every sexual conversation you two had before yesterday. You take a second to look down at it, the size is no surprise but your mouth waters at the image of you taking him into the heat of it. 

Maybe another time. For now, you focus on making him feel good with the little you can offer him in the enclosed space of his car. 

He mouths at your neck, choked up sobs vibrate through the skin on your collarbone and your top gets moved to the side so he can mark the side of your boobs as he pleases. It sets the fire inside of you alive again, your folds getting wetter when he rolls his tongue around your nipple and then throws his head back when you twist your hand in a motion he seems to really enjoy.

“Just like that, love.” 

To your delight, he's not quiet. He's loud, he's grabby, taking the opportunity to hold onto your ass and press down on the skin when you tease his slit and gather his precum on your fingers so you can spread it around his cock and your hand can slide easier. 

Movements get sloppy once he's close, he's no longer paying attention to you and you welcome it as a great sign, his hips bucking into your hand and he moves you forward until you're sitting on his lap again. 

The only thing preventing your pussy and his dick from touching is your hand. 

You glance at him and he looks back, probably the same idea popping up into his mind so you nod once.

The car moves as you two move around, to the back seat, the spine of his seat up and the entire thing moving forward to make space for him next to you, over you, on top of you once he kicks his jeans and boxers off to the floor. 

You reach out to him in a silent plea and he bends down to kiss you soft and moist and hot and breathy, sensually, with sweet sounds escaping both of you when you reach under his shirt and lift it up until he gets what you want. Discarding it with the rest of his clothes, your top follows it and the contentment you feel when his naked chest touches yours is unmeasurable. 

There's no real room to move around and there's not really any patience left within both of you, so when he apologizes when he moves his hips where he shouldn't and his tip brushes your entrance, you pull back from his bruising mouth. 

“Condom. Now.” 

He obliges right away, searching on his jeans for a minute or so and when he comes back he's smirking like he can't believe you “When I told you we needed to raincheck I didn't mean it to be like this. Bossy.” 

Even if you're punching him on his chest and giggling at his breathy words, you take the teasing with pride “You started it, Mingi!” 

Putting the condom on skilled and fast, he's soon resting his forehead against yours and kissing you softly again “I wanted you on my bed…” his lips trail down and the giggles die on your throat as he's kissing it, a moan escaping you “On your back or knees or riding me…” he continues in a whisper going down and down and down, giving your nipples attention before going back up and taking your mouth in his again “Making a mess on my cock…” 

He takes the opportunity to enter you slowly and you gasp at the stretch, wet enough so it doesn't hurt you but you're unfamiliar with him, with his size splitting you open deliciously. 

“F-fuck, Y/N.” Mingi leans back to watch you take him in and you whine again. Tilting your head back, you let him work himself in and you moan loudly when he almost bottoms out “Look at you…” 

You don't. You can't. He's pressing his thumb on your clit again to ease you through the stretch and it makes the heat pool in your belly like you didn't come in his mouth a few minutes ago. 

Slowly but surely it gets easier for him to rock his hips into you, mouth parting in pleasure when you remind yourself to look at him. His abdomen tenses when you run your nails against the skin there, softly, until you're detouring them into his back and sinking them in just enough to have him whining at the feeling. 

“Baby… Harder.” 

“Yeah?” 

Hips bucking up to meet his at a particularly hard trust, you reach up to him so he can rest his body weight on yours. Close like this, with the pace picking up, the knot on your lower half tightens and threatens to break. 

“You take me so well, love. Fuck, always knew you would,” you know he can feel your walls tightening around him at the praise, because he smiles and kisses you once before continuing “My pretty, pretty girl… Taking my cock so well…” he punctuates his words with the roll of his hips and you cry out, holding his face in between your hands, his eyes never leaving yours. 

In this position, his lower abdomen bumps into your clit and it's soon tipping you over the edge. 

“So good, so good, oh— Oh, God.” You're mumbling incoherently while Mingi keeps whispering sweet nothings and then the tension on your belly breaks. It takes three seconds of your walls pulsating around him for him to groan loudly into your mouth and come undone as well. 

The only thing you can hear is breathing, all you can feel is breathing. His against your chin, yours blowing on his hair when you rest your cheek on his temple. 

It takes a second to gather yourself again and when you do, you tilt your head back to give him a chaste kiss that he returns. 

“That was so good, baby.” You tell him and he smiles, nodding in agreement “I am sticking to the fucking seat though.” 

Mingi snorts and just like that the energy shifts back to the usual you. Only this time, you come back to it knowing that no one’s ever going to have you the way he does. 

He slips out of you, doing his thing with the condom and you sit up, looking through the windows and becoming aware of your surroundings for the first time since you got there. 

There's a car parked far away from you that's empty and the rest of the cars that were near it have left. You wonder how long this all took, because you lost track of time the second he told you he likes you. 

Chest still heaving and boxers now on, Mingi rests his back on the door and takes your hand in his “Is it dumb of me to assume you're my girlfriend now, love?” 

“Is it dumb that I assumed that's what I was when you said you like me?” 

“No,” he answers right away “not dumb at all.” 

Smiling, you nod “Then I'm your girlfriend, Mingi.” 

He beams at that and then he's crowding you again “Say it again.” 

“I'm your girlfriend.” you repeat, enunciating each word and giggling when he nuzzles his nose into the crimson on your cheek “I’m yours, baby.” 

Resting his forehead against yours, he hums in contempt “Good, because I've always been yours too.” 

“There's no way! You two... together? Guys… See, that would be me if I didn't see it coming but I'm smarter and cooler than everyone here so I did.” 

Wooyoung's over the top reaction has Mingi throwing his head back in a silent laugh and you staring at the black haired guy, unamused and a little offended. 

It's two days later and, as usual, you're at Wooyoung's and San’s apartment hanging out. 

After putting your clothes back on and going for some well deserved food, Mingi took you home, kissed you goodnight and showed up the next day after class to break the news to your parents. 

Your mom almost cried. Your dad too, but for a completely different reason. 

In the end, they both agreed they saw it coming and when you told Mingi’s parents, they said the same thing and invited yours to have celebratory dinner without you. 

What happened in Mingi’s room after was worth missing dinner anyways. 

Mingi and you decided to break the news when most of the group showed up for movie night and you were nervous to see their reactions. 

But everyone seems unaffected by it. 

“I knew you guys liked each other the second I met you. Ask Gyuri, she agrees with me.” 

“Sadly, I do.” Wooyoung's ex looks at you from her spot by the door, where she's getting her shoes on. 

She winks at you and you fake a gasp, falling into your boyfriend's lap with an annoyed huff. 

“And no one told us?!” 

“Sorry, Y/N. We didn't want to get in the way.” Hwa is apologetic and Yeosang nods alongside Hongjoong but you gape at them like they betrayed your trust. 

“To be fair we didn't know till’ last week, love.” 

“She didn't know.” Gyuri corrects him and now you turn to her to give her the betrayed look “You were pining over it for six months already.” 

“I say it was more like nine but…” Hwa shrugs and sips his cup, giving the man holding you close a knowing smile. 

Oh, they definitely talked about it, huh? 

“Nine months and no one cared to fill me in, huh?” 

“I’m sure Mingi did—” 

“Wooyoung!” 

“Well I didn't notice.” Yunho interferes with a shrug and gives you a recomforting smile that doesn't work at all. 

San laughs “That's because you're a puppy that can't even tell when someone likes you.” 

“Am not!” 

Everyone, including you and Mingi, make a noise in agreement with San.  

“You're one to talk, though, leave the puppy alone.” Gyuri tells her ex's best friend and Wooyoung laughs at him when his smile drops. 

There's some story there you don't know. 

“Guys… Does someone like me right now? Be honest.” 

Yeosang is about to tell him something but Jongho interrupts. 

“Enough with the love talk! Can we start the movie?” But he's pressing play already, so the answer doesn't really matter. 

Gyuri laughs once and Wooyoung makes his way over to her to give her a hug that she enjoys for one second tops before pushing him away. 

“Enjoy everyone! I'm so happy for you two, by the way, not that these neanderthals would tell you to your face but I'm sure they're too.” 

“Thank you, Gyuri.” Mingi murmurs from behind you and you mouth a thank you as well before she leaves for the night. 

Something about her best friend having a boy crisis. 

You don't miss the way San’s eyes follow her until she leaves or the way he looks at Woo, something clearly worrying him. 

His best friend ignores him, though, so you confirm that might just be a little pissed off at him after all. 

“Tell her to text you what happens.” San asks Woo once she leaves and he rolls his eyes. 

“Mhm. I’ll tell her to stop calling us neanderthals too.” 

You smile “Well, she's right.” 

“Nuh-uh!” 

Jongho has to stop the movie and you see him sulk while everyone else is arguing. Some of them, like Hwa and Yeo, are siding with you and Gyuri. And the rest of them, like your boyfriend, are telling them off. 

When you turn to face him, his argument dies mid-sentence because he stops to smile at you. He takes your face in his hand and kisses you for the first time ever in front of everyone else. The group stops the argument to tease you both and you laugh into his mouth. 

A cushion is thrown at you and Jongho gets up to separate your faces before sitting beside you with a pout on his lips. 

“Can we watch the goddamn movie?!” 

You're the happiest you've ever been.

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

© jensthwa, 2024.

[cf56]

I kind of hate binge culture. In 7 days, all 10 episodes of season 3 of the Animaniacs reboot will be released all at once. Some people will watch them all on the first day. I, on the other hand, will go at my own pace, watching about one a day. I want to savor each one and make the season last, since there’s a good chance this will be the last new Animaniacs content ever. By doing this, I will completely miss out on participating in the early theorizing, screenshot posting, art, and writing that people do in response to season 3. By the time I’m done watching it, over a week after the release date, and I come out with my own thoughts and enthusiasm, it will already be old news to many people. If I had my way, I’d make it last even longer, restricting myself to watching an episode a week. I’m just not willing to separate myself from the fandom for that long.

I think this is why many streaming-exclusive shows fail to have a noticeable cultural impact. Everything is dropped all at once, and what follows is a brief frenzy of confused discussion as people pick out their favorite moments and talking points from all over the season, essentially trying to scream over each other the entire time. Then, within a week or two, most people who watched it lose interest and move on. Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if we could have one episode at a time, watch it at our own pace, and then come online to see all the reactions to that particular episode and only that episode? It would be so much easier to digest, so much easier to let sink into our minds. The series in question would stay relevant for much longer. Plus, the wait between seasons wouldn’t seem nearly as long. Imagine if you watched the Animaniacs season 2 finale on January 28th, 2022 instead of November 5th, 2021. Now the wait between seasons is a basically just a year, instead of 15 long months.

So yeah, it annoys me. It annoys me to be stuck between the two options of either having to rush through the last new Animaniacs content I’ll ever experience, or quarantine myself from the fandom for three months to avoid spoilers as I watch it slower. Either way, I’m missing out, and it sucks. There is something to be said for allowing consumers to chose what pace they watch their new shows, but for people actually invested in the fandom of these shows, it’s inconvenient. And let me also say I have absolutely no problem with binging old shows. My only issue is with the practice of dumping entire seasons of new shows onto streaming platforms all at once.

[ilyasorokinn]

3 month update on my life! (plus what’s coming soon)

hello my besties! i have been gone for three months, i know but this break was very slay for me and i have come back with so many fresh ideas! this post is just to update everything you've missed on my life (if you're interested if not that's all slay too). i popped on here a few times (speak now tv) and posted a little something, but for the most part, i have not been on very much.

if you follow me on instagram, you probably know most of these updates.

tw: mental health talk

june!

i graduated, so school was out and summer started

not much else happened in june. i was a little depressed honestly

july!

my birthday! as you all know, i queued a post and saw all your sweet messages and they made my day! i turned 18, so i am officially an adult and have been for about a two months

i saw barbie. didn't cry in theaters, but i then went home and had an existential crisis and bawled my eyes out.

SPEAK NOW TV CAME OUT!!! LITERALLY SO AMAZING, I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT!!! I AM A SPEAK NOW STAN, SO THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!

august!

I SAW TAYLOR SWIFT!!!! it was the most magical concert I've been to (i've been to 4, 5 later this month)

1989 TV IS COMING OUT!!!! MY OTHER FAV ALBUM (my top three are: speak now, red, 1989, but i love them all sm. moving on)

god covid for the first time. not a fun time, but it did last all of like 4 days, so that was pretty slay.

i started college. it's cray man. i'm borderline homicidal every moment of the day because my math teacher hates me (he posts too many assignments lol)

my cod acc @saint-johnny is slay so go check it out. i'm gonna be a little more active on there because mw3 is coming out.

coming up!

I'M SEEING THE 1975 ON THE 28TH AND I'M SO EXCITED!!!

obvs hockey starts this month and i literally cannot wait. i say that now, but just you wait, i'm going to be cursing at these men and losing my mind.

i can't wait to go back to the arena and watch live games because it truly is such a fun environment even if i'm going to an arena and rooting for the opposing team every time.

what’s coming soon? (writing wise)

the patreon will be published within the next month or so, so please stay tuned for that!

the midnights series is coming as planned. don’t know when, but it’s coming.

i have some more blurbs coming out and some other fics i’m working on. they’ll be done whenever they’re done.

thanks for coming to my ted talk. I've missed talking to you all honestly, and i can't wait to be back!

tagging some friends: @2manytabsopen @typical-simplelove @iwantahockeyhimbo @fallinallincurls @kolsmikaelson @norrisjosh @harlowhockeystick @bitchinbarzal @lam-ila @alextturcotte @sydnikov @nylwnder @ghostyjosty @comphyjost @smileysvech (sorry if i missed you. i know i missed a lot of you<3)

[genderqueerdykes]

Our Hunt for a Home Continues: February 19th - 24th, 2023.

View On WordPress.

We received a call on February 16th about an opportunity that had opened up with a low-income housing program designed for disabled people. We had been waiting on this opportunity for 4 or 5 months and were ecstatic when the call finally came through. The other units we were looking into renting were in the worst part of town, and charging $700 or more per month for a 1 bedroom or studio unit.

We were instructed to head over to this apartment complex on Feb 20th to fill out paperwork. We hopped in an Uber and went on over. We were shown the unit, then handed an application, told to get a $16 money order to cover the application fee, and come back and hand it all in. Well, it sounded a lot easier than it ended up being.

We don’t own a car and can’t drive due to disabilities (hallucinations, dissociation, anxiety, you get the picture). So in order to get this money order, we asked what places nearby could get us one. We were told to head to a local Circle K. We looked on Google Maps, saw it was 3 minutes away, and started walking. Well, it thought we were in a car, so it meant 3 minutes driving time.

After walking for about 15 minutes before realizing something was up, our legs felt like jello. Our left leg had a pinched nerve in it that day and was sending shooting pain up our hip and down our thigh with every step. Our hypermobile & arthritic joints were already screaming in pain and our feet needed a rest after just one city block of walking. We had to call another Uber. The problem was, for whatever reason, our cellphone service provider has abysmal service in the downtown Albuquerque area.

We lost service about 5 times trying to hail Ubers over the course of the day, causing us to have several public meltdowns. It’s hard to stay calm when your phone is on 20% battery, you keep losing your only way to hail a ride, and you’re in too much pain to walk anywhere where someone can help you. After a long fight we got connected with a driver who was very understanding of our situation, despite our language barrier.

They took us to several locations for free, as we first went to a Circle K gas station that didn’t do money orders, then attempted another gas station across the street, then a bank, and so on. It took a lot of stops but the driver didn’t mind, as I was paying for the longer stops across town. I didn’t care either because it became apparent that it was President’s Day after I tried to go to a bank and it was closed. I almost gave up, but decided to call the Circle K near my home, who turned out, did do money orders. I redirected my driver from dropping me off at home, got the money order, ran back to the apartment complex with just half an hour to spare before they closed.

Filling out the application filled me with dread. The desk staff person was very nice, but she was very blunt about the entire approval process. Because they can only take a percentage of your earned income, they are a very strict program that requires each tenant to pass a credit score check AND an extensive background check that monitors ALL of the renter’s history. She told me that this part of the approval process is where a lot of people get turned away. A lot of people don’t make it, she said.

After handing in my application, I knew it was fucked. I had been holding my breath and waiting for this unit. It seemed like it would come right in time- just right before the 28th, when I’m set to be homeless. But I got the call 2 days later where she said I was denied, due to an instance of unpaid rent in my past. I sighed heavily, asked her if I would be able to apply again after I got that sorted, and she said yes.

I freaked the fuck out, texted every local friend that I could, and let them know of my predicament. I was very lucky in finding a local friend whose roommate is leaving in 2 weeks. They are willing to charge me $495/month, which is way lower than anything I’ve been able to find on the market. We agreed to help each other out until I can figure something more permanent out. It’s not a solution I’d like to take, as I barely know this person, but if it helps both of us, so be it.

The instance of unpaid rent in another state was due to us having lived in Missouri at the time, far away from friends, family, and medical care. We were living with some folks at the time who ended up ghosting us after we helped them move in together. It left us stranded in a very cold state with unsurvivable winters and no programs for homelessness. There was no medicaid or other insurance that would cover me. I couldn’t even get my proper medical care while there, and after a while, my partner and I at the time decided we needed to leave for some place cheaper and safer. The heavy winters were too scary for us, as two people who have been homeless.

The landlord here would not allow us to terminate our lease early despite us expressing that it was an emergency and we literally could not stay any longer due to my health failing severely while in the harsh winters. I was developing arthritis symptoms that I had never seen before, and I was getting so sick that I couldn’t function. Still, my landlord wouldn’t budge and said we had to pay for the rest of the lease. We refused and left anyways, but the landlord didn’t care, I suppose.

I found out today that there is potentially help to get this debt paid for and consolidated, which will make me eligible for the low-income housing program for disabled people once more. I am not going to hold my breath that this is a fast process by any means, but, I am hoping that they will be able to clear that up so I can ever hope to rent an apartment of my own again. My credit score is 9 points under the threshold they wanted, so that will be my next goal…

The only other units in the city I could find that can drum up a lease for me with my circumstances were trying to charge $685/month and $725/month, one of which being in one of the worst parts of town. I would have to pay a massive $650 deposit at both of these places, plus have to get utilities set up in my name, as well as get internet set up for my job, and a lot of other costs that will not be apparent at first, but will stack on very quickly.

I am very scared moving in with roommates in general- I am not afraid of my current roommate, but I have lived with many, many different roommates, in many different places, for many different reasons. Roommate situations fall apart very easily. Money is almost always the thing that tears roommates and friends apart- whether it’s someone not paying their portion of the rent, not buying enough groceries, not paying for a bill, gambling, shopping when they can’t afford it, and so forth…

My case worker helped me contact a local Christian charity who does housing programs and we were able to contact someone who actually seems like they can help me with permanent, long term housing- they said all of their programs are permanent, but are best suited for people in low income situations and poor health. When they asked where I was headed my case worker said a friend’s couch, and this was the first person on the phone who said, after learning about my income being a fluctuating thing, “well now that makes me even more nervous- because if she* can’t pay that $500 one time, she’s very well gonna be right back out on the street. Roommate situations almost always fall apart. I don’t feel like that’s safe for her.” [*��She”s in this context referring to me/my system.]

This charity requires that the individual stays for at least one day at a homeless shelter in order to get an official letter of homelessness. I have been to and spent time in several shelters in my city, I don’t mind one day if it means a potential future of secure housing. They told me a lot of other things that sound quite promising. I just have to hope that I can hold out until they can get something prepared for me. They said they have furnished units that are basically ready and waiting…

Staying with a friend for now isn’t the end of the world. In fact, I’m going to save some money by not having to pay for a deposit, movers, and potentially storage, now. But I’m nervous, as any kind of roadblock can cause this situation to fall apart. Disagreements, not getting a lot of money from Etsy one month, physical and mental illness, personal issues, and other life stressors can cause a lot of problems. Plus, this person may eventually decide they want someone else to move in instead, as it is their place, not mine, and that is their decision to make.

With any hope, I can get my past rental dues cleared, and have a better chance with these programs. I am hoping and praying, but that will take time, more time than I have. It is February 24th, 2023 as of writing this, and I have to be out of my apartment on February 28th. I have to have all of my possessions and myself and my pet rat out on this date, or else police will be called, and my things will be thrown on to the sidewalk, and into dumpsters. My case worker confirmed that this is the case, and I have known people who have gone through this personally.

I am very frightened. It has been hard to stay calm. I’m not exactly excited to be working with a Christian charity as someone who is visibly trans- “”female”” birth marker and deadname, but High T body, deep voice, and short hair. It’s caused problems with domestic violence shelters in the past, and can cause problems with religious organizations. I just have to hope and pray that these people love Jesus more than they hate queers.

My case worker was pretty convinced we’d be able to get our hotel stay covered by some local programs, but after 2 hours of phone calls this morning, we discovered that all of the hotel voucher programs in town have used up their funds, and the majority of them require the individual to have a child, which I do not. I have littles, but they’re system kids, not bodily ones, but they’re not so kind as to consider any of that.

I honestly didn’t anticipate any of those programs coming through. I’m just hoping that I’m able to be able to afford the two weeks in an extended stay hotel and that not too many more things come up. I didn’t really want it to have to come to this, but it’s either this, or sign a 1 year lease for 1 bedroom apartment in the least safe part of town, for $685+/month. I can’t afford that, it’s unrealistic. As much as I’d like to totally have a place all to myself right now, I can’t do it unless one of these programs actually works with me.

Anyway, I just wanted to explain why it’s been so hard for us to post regularly lately. This has all been over the course of one week. One of the worst days of our collective life was on Tuesday, having to run around town to get a money order just to be told we won’t have a place to live come the 28th… heart breaking. It felt very uncomfortable to beg friends yet again for a place to stay, but this is the life of queer, poor and disabled people. We have to do what we have to to survive and it’s not pretty. Sometimes it involves putting strain on people you love and none of us want to do it.

With any hope our disability benefits get approved sometime soon and we won’t have to wait much longer to afford to live. But until now things are very tight, and any help that we get goes directly toward our survival and staying off the street.

This is why we take the time to thank everyone we can for their help and support- it makes all the difference, especially when programs that are designed to help people like me fail miserably, or have unexpected roadblocks. Every bit of help, even the smallest donations or purchases from our store enable us to stay safe, and we appreciate each and every one greatly.

We will try to post more updates as things progress. We are finding it a bit easier to endure this when we share updates, as it helps give people an idea of what life is like for people who aren’t quite so privileged. Things that take others a few minutes can take hours for us, given our lack of reliable transportation and inconsistent health.

Thank you for reading, take care, stay safe, and I hope you find an easier time staying sheltered if you are a similarly disabled, poor queer person. It’s not easy out there. We have to take care of one another, it is the only way.

Rook

[dk-wren]

A Letter to the Me I Was Four Years Ago Today

Hey Dakota,

Or, perhaps, I should address you as *****. I don't think we were Dakota quite yet.

In a few weeks, your whole life is gonna change. Okay, maybe a bit hyperbolic compared to the situations other people are also about to experience. But, take your time and enjoy today.

Its leap day, an extra day to do something, so take advantage of this supposedly "extra day of magic." I know you worked hard to get your homework under control so we could see the new Magic Happens parade on its opening weekend.

I remember the joy of getting to text our good friend "Happy birthday" on their actual birthday and not figure out if I should text them on the 28th or the 1st. The anticipation of waiting in a crowd of people to see this new parade, which could possibly run for the next decade like its predecessor. And sharing the specialty sundae at Gibson Girl and some of the dishes at this year's Food and Wine Festival with Dad. That chicken in a waffle taco was so good.

Smile and take your mind off of the pile of work you know you still have waiting at home, the APs you should be studying for, not to mention your upcoming SAT. That Coco float is more beautiful than anything you could have imagined and the Moana float is just beautiful.

You don't know it, but this will be your last trip to Disneyland as an annual passholder, or really your last normal day off for a while. In two weeks the world's gonna shut down, and no amount of optimism we try to muster will keep that initial two weeks as two weeks. But before that, take my advice, you should definitely apply to that Life is Strange fanzine you saw on Twitter. Then, you'll finally know who Dakota is. And who knows what else you may discover on this path.

Also, what took you so long to start writing for you? I know junior year of high school is not known for students having a lot any free time, but if this is what you wanna do for the rest of your life, you gotta start sooner than later. And hey, call me a hypocrite, I know I'm still trying to find a good work/life balance. But we're getting to use our free time in a way that makes us happy and productive. Just keep writing.

Over the next four, really two, years, you're gonna lose contact with a lot of friends. But the two who you do stay in contact with, let's just say you wouldn't wanna be (occasionally) texting with anyone else. They are gonna make you feel safe to be yourself and introduce you to some future obsessions. One of them will be the inspiration for the first piece you write truly for you and for fun. And they're gonna be so supportive when you tell them about what you've been up to/asking their help for.

There's gonna be a lot of rough nights and disappointments before you graduate. And the decision of what to do about college, let those tears fall. There's no need to keep holding those emotions in. It's a tough choice and while I'm still in the middle of it, who's to say I made the right decision. But, I can tell you this, you are gonna be so much happier when you start college. Maybe it's not the experience your sibling had or you dreamed of, but you are gonna fall in love with a whole new city with so much to do (and so little time!). And not to be narcissistic, but I know how proud you would be to see all the things I've done so far in my coursework.

Keep listening to that voice telling you to go for it. You're gonna start writing for some of your favorite fandoms (including ones that you'll meet down the line - I'm so excited for you to watch BD and TS for the first time). Then you're gonna join Tumblr, then AO3, and who knows what's next. Some incredibly sweet people will interact with the things you made (yes, you!) and you'll be introduced to so many talented writers and artists on here! Literally, every day I come across multiple fanarts and fics that I can't help but stare at cause they are sooo good!

I know I skipped over a lot of exciting (and not so exciting) things, but that's for you to discover and enjoy in the moment. Enjoy this moment of happiness, and don't let yourself get too consumed with all the things out of your control. I think the parade is just about to start over at It's a Small World. Take care. We'll meet again soon.

Love,

Dakota Wren 💜

[2dkapsddr]

December 28th, 2024 - Arcaea, vivid/stasis

-- WARNING: SONG SPOILERS AHEAD FOR VIVID/STASIS FINAL CHAPTER PART 1 . FOR YOUR SAFETY, ARCAEA SCORES FROM TODAY ARE FIRST AND FOREMOST . PROCEED READING WITH CAUTION, BUT BE SURE TO COMPLETE THE UPDATE FOR THE BEST EXPERIENCE!!!! --

alright, let's start this post off strong!!! today is the last saturday of the year, but incidentally... it's the date of the vivid/stasis v4.0 update -- Final Chapter Part 1 !!! but once again, i was too lazy and too sleepy to finish watching the second Sonic movie last night... so once again, that'd have to wait as i had better things to preoccupy myself with, like the super cool new awesome story update that i woke up precisely in time for, and also what i'd spend all day on playing!!! but before that... since it was morning anyways, i still needed to get through a few daily mobile game shenanigans, namely the Chunithm Part 1 map reruns that were ending soon... but fortunately, i managed to clear them all!!!! and as a reward/little treat for using MIR-203 as my partner through most of the maps (besides whenever i had to switch to Fatalis Hikari), i only had to use one ether drop on her for her AWAKENING!!!! which includes BOOBS!!!! BIG ONES!!!!! very questionable!!!! no idea why they didn't use any other artwork for her, but i'm not complaining!!! alas, however, leveling her up to 30 is gonna be a pain, so i'm gonna need to use another partner for world mode maps so that i don't die of boredom from lack of progression...

HOWEVER!!! before i make the switch and abandon my beautiful beloved CHUNITHM partner, there's one last song i must play and defeat once and for all... one i never thought i'd ever completely defeat in the first place. ever since it released, the song and chart have haunted me with how ridiculously impossible it was to maintain any consistency throughout. even if i managed to stay consistent, i'd lose to something stupid, and once i ran through every stupid thing that defeated me, i'd run out of physical stamina and have to come back to it some other day... but not today. today, i was determined to seal away this trash trash salary erasing garbage chart once and for all. and after what felt like a half-hour of attempts (honestly probably less), an insane amount for me personally (but probably not even that much for others), and a tragic 1-miss play in world mode that motivated me to grind it away in the first place...

...it happened. at long last, the nightmare and hell was over. at long last, i could put this chart to rest and move on from it forever... finally... Distortion Human (FTR-9+, MAX-29), knocked out as FTR PM #241!!!! IT WAS OVER AT LAST!!!! NO MORE PLAYIJNG TYHIS STUPID CHART AGAIN ALKSDLKSDLJKFSDL

right, and now for the last of the scores!!! all four of these remaining scores were for challenges in another server, but there's some impressive stuff here still!!! like, for example, my first clear on the Phase 10 course being a shocking EX+ on the whole thing!!! ...and on the more unfortunate side of the spectrum, a slight -2 downscore re-PM on next to you [BYD-9] and -30 on Heavensdoor [BYD-10+], it's no biggie...

-- VIVID/STASIS SPOILER SECTION BEGINS NOW, BE WARNED --

ALRIGHT!!! now for the moment you've all been waiting for... the grand spoiler section of the post that i'm keeping tucked away beneath all these arcaea scores, so as to hopefully not spoil any unsuspecting readers or searchers of vivid/stasis content... it's time for the grand scoredump of the new chapter!!! i obviously didn't play through every single song of the update, so there's gonna be a lot of songs missing whilst i recover from this hell of a wild ride... but by GOD was it a wild ride!!! insane how much lore, content, and effort can be packed into a single update that, mind you, isn't even the full package of the chapter!!! it's so beautiful to see, and even more beautiful to experience, i can't imagine how hard they must've been cooking behind the scenes...

but let's get the scores out of the way . there's quite a lot of good stuff amidst the spoilers after all!!! keep in mind my initial rating of 17717 prior to starting on the update contents... now then! the first o the sweet scores is a sightread FC on even at the end of the world, you left it [FIN 12] as part of a story mission (lie), but then followed up by a more impressive sightread FC on a slightly older yet harder song, Surtr's Wish [FIN 15]!!! triumphing above them both, however, is my sightread AC on one of the hidden songs deeper within the chapter... Concrete Jungle [FIN 14]!!!

...aaaand that was about all the songs i played for the main chapter update. there's the boss song of course, but that one wasn't a true play on account of not being the full chart . wanna know where the real scores lie? why, in the postgame betweenspace content, of course!!! ...well, not really "of course" on account of it being completely hidden and mentioned nowhere as of this post, but it exists!!! go look for it!!! it's extremely fun!!! aaand here's the sightreads!!! a tragic sightread black flag on See You Move [FIN 12+], a slight recovery sightread AC (MAX-6) on Voltage Strike [FIN 12], Yet Another Sightread MAX-6 AC on Attractor Force [FIN 10+], and somehow an FC on reFract::dense [FIN 14+] (by FAR the hardest 14+ i've played... okay maybe not really), and then the grand epic secret song of the postgame... my sightread plays on B3611V [FIN 15+ and ENC 16+]!!! ...i sincerely apologize if this spoiled you on the fact there was a postgame in the first place, but it's not too late!!! tried omitting as much as i could about the songs for this very reason, so go play them yourself!!! they're awesome!!!

...and now, to wrap things up before my fingers cramp any harder than they have today... my first attempt on the final insanity boss that is Class 12 added with this update!!! the whole reason everyone's class was reset with the update, after all (mine included)... the menus are a bit bugged, but the only two scores i took screenshots of were my scores on SUPERNOVA [ENC 16+] and APOCALYPSE CALL [FIN 16+], and then the final song grade total to show that i actually passed the whole thing!!! 4M next ? maybe even an SS+ on the course down the line... meh, seems a bit too hard . but that's all i could find for the update, see y'all around for when i get back to the rest of the content!!!

[nsfwmiamiart]

Incoming Text for @galgadot : We can't be lovers. It's your community's fault, not my fault.

Hey Gal! It's me, Angelo.

Why are you doing this to me? I can't be your husband. Don't do this, alright? Don't leave your husband. I can't be responsible for your safety. You should stay with Yaron; he is the best guardian for you.

Here is how it happened:

"I was just chilling, minding my business, when one of my friends sent me a text message. He told me that Gal Gadot is losing her mind because you have been ghosting her since April 28th. You stopped writing to her, and she lost it. She couldn't wait for your return, so she is now talking about splitting from her husband to chase you. Here is the IG pic she posted six hours ago: see the link below: https://www.instagram.com/p/C84mkaRJ89u/"

The end of the text.

My dear Gal, as you can imagine, I was shocked and surprised because when I looked at the picture, I saw your hands missing Yaron's ring, and you used the keyword "Split" in the IG caption.

I was speechless. I thought we agreed to move on with our lives, but Gal, you refuse to move on.

I don't know what to say, my dear Gal Gadot. You should understand that I can't be your lover. You're a married woman, and I'm a black man. It's a doomed relationship from the very beginning. I don't even want to have sex with you because it's a waste of our time and energy.

I think it's best that you stay loyal to your husband, Yaron, and we move on with our lives.

The thing you have to understand about me is that I never chase married women. I always respect their boundaries.

I never engage with a married woman because I don't want to get addicted to forbidden fruit. Do you understand?

So, please don't be mad at me. Remember that I'm a black man, and even if you're not racist, your community might not be so welcoming. Do you see the problem?

Gal Gadot is not a racist woman, but her community is full of racists. They will never let us be happy. That is why I've chosen to move on with my life and wish you happiness with your loving husband, Yaron.

Don't forget that I also had a crush on another Jewish woman, Gwyneth Paltrow, but I never told her because it would make us both unhappy. It's always the racist community that destroys the relationship.

Gwyneth Paltrow is not racist; she is a wonderful human being. But she is part of a community that bullies any black man who pursues her. We are not allowed to be lovers, thanks to the evil regime's bullying tactics.

And then you wonder why I decided to ghost you. It's your racist community's fault. Don't blame me; blame your community.

If your community wasn't so racist, we would have five babies by now. That's what we call the genocide of mixed-race babies.

So, my dear Gal Gadot, excuse me if I have the audacity to ghost you. I'm trying to stay alive. I don't want to be a black Romeo chasing a Jewish Juliet. You do you, and I do me. Problem solved.

I find dope-coochie and companionship in black and South American communities now. They're less racist, and they don't kill our mixed-race babies.

Just FYI, our mixed-race babies would have been so beautiful. It's like they are killing a future Barack Obama in the womb.

You know that I will always have your back.

Also, if you want to meet me in the future, your friend @drake can help you get access to me. When you want to meet me, make sure the rapper @drake is your guardian. He will be allowed to have access to me because you will be with him.

I have a lot of respect for you, Gal Gadot. You're a female warrior, and I will always be your ally. You can think of me as your African brother. I will refuse to have sex with you because I don't want to become addicted to your coochie, but you can always count on my support. I'm your brother for life.

Okay, this chat is over.

Love you, Gal! Peace to you and yours. Big hugs.

P.S.:

Synopsis of the letter:

The letter from Angelo to Gal Gadot expresses Angelo's shock and dismay upon learning that Gal is considering leaving her husband to pursue a relationship with him. Angelo makes it clear that he cannot be romantically involved with Gal because of their different racial backgrounds and the potential societal backlash they would face. He emphasizes his respect for Gal's marriage and boundaries, stating that he never pursues married women. Angelo encourages Gal to remain loyal to her husband and expresses his belief that they should both move forward with their lives separately. Despite this decision, Angelo assures Gal of his unwavering support and admiration, likening himself to a supportive brother figure in her life.

[aquiescentraconteur]

My darling angel,

I'm in between meetings at the moment and I thought of you, of how I wish you have the strength required to bare this world, to push against negative things that only bring you down.

I hope I can, somehow, shape you into a strong-minded, beautiful, powerful woman. This life is hard enough when it's smooth sailing, however, when the ties turn, oh boy do they turn!

There's something else on my mind today. I'm waiting for an answer, an important one. But that's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about, I want to talk about waiting. I'm waiting differently. The 'me' of a year ago would impatiently wait for the reply, it would zone out staggeringly and with a heavy heart. Good news is: Iam no longer that girl, I am no longer anxious about something being taken away from me, cause I've learned that I can deal with whatever it is the outcome I am given. it's about trusting in yourself, in your own company and your own value. It's about remembering that 'good things come in threes', and how that's okay. How, at the end of the day, the only thing you can't lose sight of, is yourself.

We're only here once, it's our personal responsibility to make the best out of it.

All the love in the world,

Mom, February 28th 2024

[abbyandhanako]

I had to deal with a woman who wanted to adopt an Eevee during the Eevee Day ban

Hello Sage Ghetsis and Doctor Colress, Me and Abby had an encounter with someone that would be described as a “Karen”

It was a scary occurrence but she did get arrested after she stormed out, so I’ll get to it.

November 21st had been designated National Eevee Day, I don’t mind celebrating Eevee Day but I get an increase of unhappy returns and abandoned Eevee and Eeveelutions after the celebrations have ended, so I had to ban adoptions from the 10th to the 28th of November to crack down on this and even to remind anyone attending one of my seminars that:

“An Eevee is for life, not just for National Eevee Day”

Abby even swears they adopt an Eevee for the novelty and when it wears off, they either abandon or return it.

I even found an Eevee given to a little girl thrown out like it was a Christmas decoration weeks after Eevee Day and she was badly emaciated and covered in worms, She almost died, and had to be treated at a Pokémon Center, she’s still on anti worming medication to this day.

So I was not taking any chances of me finding an abandoned Eevee I adopted out to trainers and having to take them back.

When I was cleaning my seminar room, A woman asked to come in, she had her son with her, The son was at least 12.

“Hello, Me and my son are looking to adopt an Eevee, He’ll start a journey soon.”

It was November 18th so the adoption center I run was shut today.

I looked at the two apologetically and explained: “Oh, I’m so sorry, I do not allow Eevee to be adopted at on days leading up to and a week after National Eevee Day, I’ll put your and your son’s name on a waiting list so you can come back on the 29th November, Can I have your name and phone number?”

The son pouted while the mother began to yell at me.

“What?! Why! The adoption center is open all year round!” The mother yelled at me.

I got a bit startled by her yelling but I stood my ground.

“Like I said, I keep finding an influx of abandoned Eevee I adopted out and even having them returned to the adoption center after the celebrations and I won’t stand for that, so I had to ban adoptions from mid to late November to crack down on this.”

The woman started to get more impatient and the son began to pout.

“It’s my son’s Pokémon journey next week and he wants an Eevee!” She yelled.

Then Abby went into the room, she had her mask down.

“Mark, what’s going on?” Abby asked me.

“I said NO and I mean it!” I yelled, finally losing my patience with the woman, “I tried to be nice to you, explained why I couldn’t let you adopt an Eevee during this time for your son, I even asked for your phone number so I can make a reservation!”

The kid began to cry, I didn’t yell that loud because of my throat injuries.

She then stormed out, not before conducting vandalism on the seminar room with her son, I later called the authorities and she was arrested on Route 6, It was a long day for me after that.

Me and Abby cleaned up the seminar room and the boy’s older brother came to me with his brother and mother.

He came to apologize for his mother’s behavior and reassured he would not press charges against us and if he wanted to ban his brother and mother from adopting an Eevee, I was free to do so.

I agreed on the ban but I decided since the boy wanted an Eevee, I gave the boy an address to another shelter in Unova because I know it was upsetting for him that I wouldn’t let him adopt but the rules are rules.

- Mark, Grunt 196.

[bonzo193]

(Russell Auty) Radiomk  Bands In and Around Milton Keynes    Aug.16th.,2023 01Blue Cabs     HEY PRESTO_       EP Hey Presto     02 Wesson      My Self                                         03 King's Division     This Thick Skin             04 The Standard Lamps     Cats and Dogs         05 The Get Gone    I wait for death 06  Couch conspiracy     “Waste my time” 07 Martial Dare     Dirt Track   08 Faiblesse Parfaite   Crocodile   Release  July 28th.,2023 09 MODESTY BLUE     Time of Your Life 10 Grand Union Canal     How Come I’ve Learned to Love Heartbreak’ 11 Independent music club    Last train 12 Redwood Ridge  -Low Lifes_And High Hopes 13 Calico Palace     Golden Days. 14  Catalyst    Desert Storm 15  If Not Us Then Who  - Heads We Win, Tails You Lose -  key2artistpromotions.com 16 Carrot Bowen & The Collective - Growing Up In My Hometown   IMC  Promotion 17 Malcolm Dunn      Melanie's Song      Album Reflective 18 Tu-kay & Ryan - All That I Am    Realeasted  FRIDAY 4TH AUGUST 2023 19 Neil  Beardmore     Going to the City                    Milton Keynes.    Blues 20 Chris Mainfield and the Intouchables    In the shadow 21 Jack Blake   Headed Nowhere 22 Carbon Daydreams    Uptown 23 Chris Romero - King of Nothing     Obsidian Music PR & Media. 24  Maini Sorri - Let me do your time   new album Shiny Eyes Vol. 2. 25 Noasis      Walk On       26 Rebuilt Electric -  Its Easy   TOEKONEF - 27 Rickey Joyce - Get You Dance On Tonight      DistroKid 28 Furah Dread     People Must Stop 29 Mandy Storm -i wont tell    geert@showbizzinfo 30 Lexi x Ft. Honey B Sweet.   Do Me In Your Mind 31  Les Paul's'  Tommy, Tommy     album 'I'm Not There Brittania' 32 The Standard Lamps     Cats and Dogs 33 Coupdekat    Love Online

[hope-hui]

Unit: Situated Studio Practices 2: The Independent Projects

Exercises

People's Experiences

Kayla (16) 

My Dad passed away 5 months ago in April just 9 days before my 16 birthday. [...] A man finally entered the room holding a clipboard of documents. I prayed in my mind that everything would be fine and my dad would be awake in the room waiting for us. But, when the doctor told us he hated to be the bearer of bad news, I just sat there as he told us that my dad had passed away. I don’t remember much except the moments where I was brought to the room he was kept in. I hated how there were wires connected to him and a tube going down his throat. I couldn’t bare to look and he felt cold, unlike the warm feeling my dad usually had. Maybe a week after his death we finally found out my dad had a heart disease and died because of a blockage in his main artery causing him to have a heart attack. After my dads death, I found it hard to go to school yet I still managed. But I feel that a lot of people don’t understand what I’m going through and expect that now I shouldn’t be upset anymore which isn’t true. I know it’s hard and I still struggle today, but no one is alone and you shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk about how you feel or the loved one you have lost.

Michaela (24)

My family which consisted at the time of my parents, me, and my two younger brothers, were driving back home after church. My oldest brother needed to go to the library to work on some of his homework, and the rest of us went home. My mom had been sick with a virus for a few months at that point but she seemed to only be getting worse as time went on. [...] Then the death sentence came: Time of Death: 22:13." Coping for the next year or so was next to impossible and I hit rock bottom about 7 months afterwards, and took me another year to fully get out of that hole I was in. The pain of losing Mom is still there 5 years later and it is still just as intense as it was then, but I've gotten used to constantly bearing that pain 24/7/365.

Madison (13)

On July 28th, 2018 I lost my mom. The sherriff of my county came and knocked on my door while I was playing with my friend in the playroom. I thought my grandma had hit another telephone pole so I shrugged it off. When my grandma came to pick up all of my older and younger siblings except me and my older sister, I realized something was off. Me, dad, and my big sister headed to the hospital and he explained what had happened. I didn't shed a tear. My dad had said: “Hey Maddy I know you really love your mom so you have to come with us so she can see somebody. The Deputy hit her car.” I said “Okay Dad. I hope she's okay.” We drove an hour and a half to get to the hospital. We had gotten into the hospital at noon. I ran in and said my mommy was there. The nurse waited for my big sister and dad. My dad said the name and we were sent to a quiet room. The head doctor came in and said " I'm so sorry, she didn't make it." I was bawling but asked if I could see her. I got to give her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. After that I haven't been quite the same. She was the biggest influence in my life. She was gorgeous and I'll admit, she wasn't perfect, but she was my mommy. In December My Uncle died, and My papaw died in March. I really wasn't ready for that. I don’t think I will ever be the same. In early July, my friend Danielle died in a car accident too. I will never think of anything like I did before. I will also never stop thinking about them. Grief is something you never fully go through, and that's okay. I loved them all, and the closure of knowing they loved me too, is what keeps me sane.

14 April 2023

[motherof-chaos]

Thank you for the tag @thoseeyeslikefire 🖤 Your list was fun to read, so much nostalgia and also YES MCR CREW 🙌🏻

First

blink-182 in 2004! December 3rd. I still remember the date. I was 13 years old at the time 🥲 I went with three other pals. One who was my childhood best friend who I have recently got back in touch with after not seeing each other for 16 years! 🖤

Last

Slipknot in January 2020. Two months later, the world fell apart due to Covid. It's crazy thinking back! They were FANTASTIC. A band I loved in my youth and FINALLY seeing them live after so many years. It was totally surreal seeing them live but in the best possible way. Behemoth supported them but we missed their entire set cause we were in the pub 🍻

Next

Radar Festival July 28th. I'm going purely for SLEEP TOKEN AHHHHHH and dragging my incredible best friend with me. It's going to be such an amazing day full of music, fun and laughter. I cannot wait to lose my mind with my bestie by my side. I hope Manchester is ready for us ✨💃🏻

Favourite

Gallows in 2008! Fucking mental. The gig that gave me tinnitus 🥲 17 year old me had the time of her life. They tore the place apart. Frank Carter's stage presence is just 🔥 They'd relased a song earlier that week so it wasn't very well known which they played called Gold Dust. I will never forget being at the barrier, singing it with everything I had, arms in the air and Frank Carter noticing and acknowledging it. The line "I guess with friends like these, who the fuck need enemies?". He was singing it at me and I was singing it right back at him, eye contact and everything. Special moment that stands out all these years later! ✨

The song isn't on Spotify, can't even find a none live version of it but what a memory. Here's a live version, super short 1 minute song but the energy is just 🙏🏻

THEY WERE SUCH A GOOD BAND 😭

Set Your Goals supported them! Up until that point I don't think I'd ever genuinely enjoyed a support act before. Love them to this day.

Tagging

-

@blessedlyunburdened IF YOU EVER SEE THIS that is 🤣 We need to get Josie on board. @maddsmallow I know you love a tag game. The lovley @leelany-world and my homie @katopian, @advictoriams too. @cerberusdreams babe I'm tagging you too cause I am ✨INTRIGUED✨

As always, no pressure 🖤 have fun!

Shout out to blink-182 who I've seen four times. THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE BAND OKAY 🤣 AND I'm going watching them for a fifth time later this year 🤡 and I cannot fucking wait to see them reunited. They're both mine and my partners favourite band. We saw them together for the first time in 2012 and we'll be seeing them later this year together as parents. It's crazy. They have a special place in my heart 🖤

shoutout to @thelittlest-lynx for the tag! :D 👋🏻

First, Last, Next and Favourite Concerts! (below the cut as I got a bit carried away lmao)

Tagging (as always don't feel obliged!): @motherof-chaos @kyloreno-911 @absentviolet @redradley @hreog-like-frog @tookatrain2nyc @foxgloveinspace @taroris @maidenwychelm @onni-izza @abackwaterprincess and all of my other mutuals <3

First Concert

I have a terrible memory for this long ago but as far as I can remember my first gig was MCR at the O2 Brixton Academy in either 2005 or 2006 with my best friend at the time and a mutual friend (I really can't remember, I just know that both mine and my bestie's mums had to come with us because we were young 🥲). Deep into our emo phases by this point and I remember my bestie having a panic attack and having to sit on some steps by the fire exit for a while). I wish I could remember more of the actual performance but I think more recent trauma has erased a lot of my memories from back then :(

Last Concert

My most recent one was seeing Bad Omens back in March, supported by GHØSTKID and Oxymorrons at The Dome, Tufnell Park. I feel blessed to have been able to see them in such a small venue and for so cheap, considering how big they are now (500 capacity venue, I paid £18 per ticket!) and they were so good!! I think I got the tickets just before they blew up on Tiktok which was lucky. I didn't enjoy GHØSTKID really - I don't know if the sound setup was just awful or what but it just felt like my ears were bleeding. Oxymorrons were actually pretty good, though not what I usually listen to, and I really enjoyed their set. Noah was an absolute beast live although the talking he did between songs sounded super rehearsed like he was reading a script. Dethrone was SO insane live. The crowd were a bit shit - I was about half way back from the front and surrounded by loads of guys just standing and nodding... I kept getting weird looks because I was jumping and singing along... But yeah overall really good.

Next Concert

SLEEP TOKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At Wembley Arena in December. I am so fucking excited I can't even put it into words. This will be my first time EVER seeing them live - still can't actually believe I got tickets. The only thing I wish is that I could have seen them at a smaller venue for my first time but I have a feeling the atmosphere in Wembley Arena is going to be incredible. Fully expecting to cry my eyes out tbh. I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also have tickets to see BMTH & Bad Omens supported by Static Dress and Cassyette at The O2 in January. I've been a fan of BringMe since Count Your Blessings came out in 2006 (I still have the cd somewhere), though I distanced myself from them a bit during their TIAHBMISITIAHLKIAS era. I can't believe it's taken me this long to see them live but it's going to be a hell of a show, plus I get to see Bad Omens and Cassyette (who I saw support MCR in 2022, she was really good!) again at the same time!

Lastly I also have tickets to see the Foo Fighters at London Stadium in 2024 though that's mainly for my partner as they're his favourite band. I like a few of their singles but I'm not a huge fan.

Favourite Concert

I think I have two favourites.

One of my favourites so far is actually when I saw Bullet For My Valentine at Wembley Arena in 2013. They were supported by Asking Alexandria and Young Guns. I actually mainly went to see AA who were my favourite band at the time but I think Danny was already mentally checked out by this point and they were a massive let down live. Young Guns were really good, I was probably slightly more than a causal fan of theirs back then. But Bullet absolutely blew me away. I'd liked a good number of their songs, I wasn't a big fan, but they were absolutely incredible live and I ended up enjoying them way more than AA.

My second favourite was seeing MCR for the first time again after they split at Stadium MK in May 2022. My Chemical Romance will always have a special place in my heart. Other than Sleep Token, MCR have been the only other band that I've had a special connection with. They were my favourite band since I was 14 (until I discovered Sleep Token who have overtaken them for the top spot, sorry MCR) and I never thought I'd be able to see them again. I was a little concerned about whether they would still be good live but oh my GOD they were incredible. I had the best time and that feeling of everyone in the stadium singing along with every song was indescribable (kind of expecting this same feeling when I see sleep token). But yeah so good. Supports were Placebo (who were fucking awful, sorry lol), Barns Courtney (who we missed as we were queueing for merch) and Cassyette who was really good too.

Oh, and a different genre entirely but, I also say Lady Gaga live and she was amazing too haha

[terryboot]

we ran out of the plastic i use to cover hardback books last week so i asked my boss to order some more and i must have sent her the wrong link because the ones that arrived were not the A3 length that i wanted. They’re 1.2m long. There are 3 of them.

I mean they work fine. I mostly need it to cover picture books for the jr school and i can usually get fit 2 books across the length (accounting for the spine and the excess you need to fold the edges and all that). but I do feel kind of like I’m working at the fabric section of spotlight and also the roll doesn’t fit on my desk so i have to take it out to a spare table in the main part of the library

[the-lighwood-who-lived]

Please Don't Leave - Jace x Reader

Jace messes up, big time. Will he manage to make amends in time or is it not meant to be? ( why the hell am i being so cryptic)

‘JONATHON CHRISTOPHER HERONDALE!’ the name echoed throughout the institute, making a shiver run down Jace’s back. Everyone knew this scream. It was Izzy, had to be. Jace desperately tried to think of how he could have possible upset his devil for a sister as Izzy’s boots clicked down the hall, as she walked up to him.

She pulled him down by his collar before flipping him, ‘You never learn, do you?’ she said. Jace wasn’t hurt, only his dignity. He got up with as much self-respect as he had left and asked her sassily, ‘ Mind telling me whats wrong though?’

‘Whats the date?’ she asked, her voice dangerously low. It was the 28th …. what was on the 28th of September? NO! how could he have ever forgotten! Realisation dawned on him as Izzy just shook her head, ‘ This isn’t the first time your forgetting Jace, she doesn’t even hope anymore.’

This was terrible… Jace remembered 28th of September, this very day, a few years ago, when he met her. She knocked the breathe out of him, literally. They first met in the training room, she had him pinned in under a minute. That was they day he met Y/N, Izzy’s parabatai. That was four years ago, and for the third time, Jace had forgotten their anniversary.

He loved her, they had been through hell and back, this year, of all the years, he shouldn’t have forgotten. The battle scars from the Dark War were hardly healed. He sat down on the closest chair, not knowing how he could have messed up to this extent. ‘Where is she?’ he asked Izzy. She sat down next to him, he was her brother after all, she knew the regret weighing on him. ‘She’s with Alec and Simon, practicing archery… She’s upset Jace, we’re parabatai, I can feel it.’ Izzy says.

Jace nodded at Izzy before walking to the training room. He found her there, just as Izzy said, working herself to the max. He tried lightening the mood, hugged her from behind. ‘Hello’ he whispered. She elbowed him hard in the ribs as she walked to the bench for some water.

He went behind her, ‘Y/N, hun, I’m sorry’ he said kneeling in front of her. She refused to look at him, scared that she won’t be able to hold up her stoic façade. It may not have been a big deal to others, but to her it meant a great deal and he knows it. Running into the fray anytime, anywhere, changes you. Little things matter.

‘Look at me..’ he said, turning her face with one finger, but trailed off as he saw hurt and betrayal in her eyes. He would kill anyone who hurt her, he’s never had to of course, cause she is more than capable of doing that herself. The only people who could actually hurt her, were the ones who she opened up so vulnerably to. ‘Forgive me Y/N, one last time… please…’ he whispered.

‘Do you care anymore Jace?’ she spoke to him for the first time that day. Jace was taken aback by that, he cared, he cared more than anyone could imagine. ‘Its been a few months since the Dark War Jace.. the war that made me lose everything, you are supposed to be my rock…I can’t love you if you don’t meet me halfway…’ She said stoically. A terrible fear grew in Jace, worse than the fear of death… the fear of losing her.

‘I love you, your are my sun and my moon. Do you think I could ever stop caring?’ Jace stood up determined. ‘Meet me in the Missions Hall in 5’ he said. ‘Jace-‘ Y/N began.

He cut her off though. ‘Please… come’ he said as her ran off. She did, of course she did. One last time before letting go. Alec, Simon , Izzy and Clary were there too, but they were… smiling?

Music played out of nowhere. Wait… she knew this song…A voice, beautiful in her memory as ever started singing to her. Jace.

When you feel your love's been taken When you know there's something missing In the dark, we're barely hanging on Then you rest your head upon my chest And you feel like there ain't nothing left I'm afraid that what we had is gone

Then I think of the start And it echoes a spark And I remember the magic electricity Then I look in my heart There's a light in the dark Still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me That I wanna keep Please don't leave Please don't leave

He stopped there, knelt down in front of her.

‘Never again should those eyes fill up because of me… Every time I wake up next to you, I feel stronger. Every time you smile, I feel alive. Every time you make me watch those Disney movies, my dignity dies, but to hear you laugh is worth it. The sun and all the stars in this universe will die before I give up on our love. Will you, Y/N Y/L/N, do me the honour- or royally break my heart – and marry me?’ He said, the great Jace Herondale was in tears, with a rose gold ring in his hand.

She hesitated, his heart shattered. Then she broke into the most beautiful smile ever, the warrior, the soldier, Y/N. ‘You and me Herondale, to the end of days. I will marry you Jonathan’ She says. That’s all she had to say, he jumped up and picked her up into a hug.

He kissed her, not with aggressive Herondale passion, but with all the joy of this second chance. That’s her Jace.