#lori grimes did nothing wrong she was a good mother!

[eileennatural]

i hate lori grimes haters. especially carl fans who hate lori grimes like. did you forget he's literally a mama's boy? did you forget her cradling his chubby little cheeks and holding his hand and cutting his hair?? he literally DIED respecting her memory and you hate her?

[rrickgrrimes8]

The Purpose ~ Jacey Grimes

Chapter One - Repercussions

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"What did you want to do?" Jacey asked. 

"What do you mean?" Addie answered the girl. 

"Like when you grow up? Before all this happened?" 

"I can't tell you," She blushed, "You'll laugh."

Jacey looked down at the beauty who had her head resting in her lap, "Why would I laugh, you dork?" 

Addie smiled slightly, "You just would... it's embarrassing." 

"Would it make you feel better if I tell you what I wanted to be?" Addie nodded her head at Jacey's compromise, "A cop." 

"Like your dad?" Jacey grimaced at his mention, although she saw it coming. 

"Yeah... he was so brave. Even if it led to him getting shot, that's still what I wanted to be." 

"What? Brave?" Addie tilted her head, still blessing Jacey's eyes with her wide smile. 

"Yeah, that and I guess I wanted to make him proud, I wanted to protect people like he did," She paused, frowning softly, "But I guess that's impossible with everything that's happened." 

Addie beamed at the girl wanting more than anything to take her pain away, "You protect me... you'll always protect me." Jacey stayed silent, so completely happy with this moment. "And for what it's worth, I'm proud of you, and I'm sure he was too. I mean how could he not be," the dark-skinned girl admitted, "Look at you, you're a badass." 

"Thank you, Addie. And I will protect you, I promise," the younger girl let herself fall back onto the grass, Addie remaining on her lap, "But I can't help but realise you've yet to say yours." 

Addie groaned, lifting slightly to look her into her blue eyes, "I uh... I wanted to be in the navy." 

"No shit, I did not expect that, but I can see it. You're quite the badass yourself," She paused, "Any reason why?" 

"Uh yeah, my older brother was," Jacey felt the girls' mood suddenly change, "I always thought he was so cool... 'Fighting bad guys and living the dream,' he always used to say." 

"Where is he now?" She inquired. 

"God knows he was overseas when it happened so your guess is as good as mine. He's alive though I bet he is." 

"What was his name?" 

"Jaeden," She replied, "You would've liked him. He was so awesome. I remember once back before he joined my dad was out for the weekend some business trip or something. Jaeden decided to invite the entire block for a party at ours. I for one was extremely against it but he insisted. He said to me, 'Addie you gotta get your shit together and live or it's all gonna pass you by. I'm doing this for you, so you can have fun, so you can make a memory,'" she reminisced smiling softly, "It was actually a going away party but he just didn't have the heart to tell me." 

"Your dad ever find out?" Jacey simpered. 

Addie nodded, "Oh god you should've seen his face... he was so mad but Jaeden took the blame like he always did. I miss him." 

"You're right," Jacey acknowledged after a few minutes, "I would've liked him."

Jacey was yet to move from her seat in the RV. In fact, she was yet to do anything at all. She hadn't eaten, hadn't slept and she certainly hadn't spoken. The funny thing to her was that she didn't feel angry at her father for stealing that opportunity away from her, she didn't feel the pain of Addie and Mitch's deaths or even most recently Jacqui's at least not to the extent she did days prior and despite what her group thought she was staying silent because everything was too much for her. She was staying silent because she simply felt nothing at all. Jacey was in a state of nothingness, oblivion hell even numbness whatever you'd like to call it. For days her feelings were everywhere, she screamed, cried, laughed. Christ, she even tried suicide and now she was completely and utterly exhausted. So exhausted in fact that she almost felt free without the weighing pressure of her feelings. Jacey wanted to say it scared her but she knew it would just be a lie, nothing scared her anymore. Not even the walkers that roamed past them every so often could scare her. She truly felt nothing at all. 

"Baby you gotta get up okay?" Jacey heard someone tell her, "Or at least eat something please." The voice was pleading with her now and she pointed out to herself that they sounded so close to tears. She knew the voice belonged to her mother without even looking as she'd tried this same thing 5 times already, the sadness in her voice vaulting every time she did so. 

"C'mon, Jace, talk to me. You can't ignore everyone forever," Lori huffed knowing well enough that her daughter did have it in her to ignore everyone forever, "Please, baby." 

This time, however, Jacey did move. The young girl lifted her small fist at her mother bringing her middle finger up towards her. She apprehended that Lori had stomped away angrily and fed up, which almost brought a smile to her face - almost. 

"Jesus, kid, you hell-bent on everyone hating ya?" This time she recognised the accented voice as no other than Shane Walsh. Jacey lifted her finger once more this time in his direction, "Oh you're doing it to me now, great." She imagined he would've rolled his eyes at this probably distracting himself with something with his shotgun. "You know she's only trying to help ya. You don't got to be such an ass about it," She could tell that Shane was tired with whatever she was doing but it didn't matter to her and she wouldn't stop because her bitch of a mother asked so politely. 

Shane looked out of the RV window, spotting Carl, who was half-ass playing with Sophia and frowned. "You know you're breaking their hearts right, Jace? Carl hasn't smiled in days, your dad hardly saying a word. Do you even know what you were going to do?" He pressed, waiting but still knowing he wasn't going to get an answer, "Suicide, Jacey! Death... you would be gone. You would've left them all behind. Does that not bother you at all?" 

Jacey waited a second before shifting her vision towards him, "No." Her words were sharp, not an ounce of regret coming from them. "No, it doesn't. Not at all," This time she laughed, a small one but it was clear what it was. 

"Are you fucking kidding me, Jacey? What the hell is wrong with you?" Jacey was certain that the man was angry even though he wouldn't allow himself to show it. 

"Too much," She smiled, "Too fucking much. A-and I knew that. I got that and I told dad. I told him and yet he still forced me to live... he took my choice away. I'm a sick person, Shane, I know and you can hate me, all of them can for all I care but that's not going to change the fact I don't give a fucking shit." The former police officer didn't say a word, too stunned at her upheaval. 

"Rick should've left me there," Jacey added bitterly. 

"It would've been wrong. You're just a kid. Leaving you there would never be the right thing to do no matter how much you begged," Shane brought his hand to his chin, "It would've been wrong." 

Jacey chuckled fakely, "So's fucking a married woman but that never stopped you." 

The RV fell silent and Shane was so glad that it was only them who occupied it right then, "You don't know what you're talking about." 

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, Walsh." 

Now the man grew nervous, which wasn't necessarily a familiar feeling - had they been that obvious? Shane sat back into his chair, sighing as he did, "How did you know?" 

"I didn't, not until just now," Shane deadpanned, "I just witnessed a little too many longing stares." Jacey laughed at his tough demeanour shattering as he once again looked out the window at her mother. 

"You can't tell no one, alright?" 

"Why? Thought you'd love to break my parent's marriage up," The strange girl brought her legs to her chest and observed how the man struggled to answer. 

"You just can't, Jacey. Promise me you won't?" he said fearful, knowing the father and daughter were close. 

"Yeah, yeah whatever Walsh wouldn't dream of it," Jacey swore, "But just know I have a habit of breaking promises." 

"This isn't a joke, kid, don't say nothin'." 

"Alright, jeez Walsh get off my back," She joked but Shane remained unimpressed, "As much as I'd like to hurt Rick, you don't deserve to get hurt in the process, neither does Carl." 

"Thank you, kid," Shane smirked, "Now will you please go outside and catch some sun you're looking paler by the minute." 

Jacey looked out of the window to the place they'd had stopped for a break and sighed, "Only if you join me." The officer nodded at her request and followed her out of the vehicle. 

Lori was first to notice the pair. She was surprised and almost angry that he had done the thing she'd attempted to do the last few days. Rick was next but he could barely meet her eyes. A familiar feeling arose at the sight of his partner with his daughter, a feeling he first felt way back in camp when he held her back from fighting him. A feeling of jealousy. He didn't like it, god no he didn't. He hated feeling so envious of the man for having some sort of relationship with his daughter compared to the broken one they shared. Carl was last to see as he looked up from playing Sophia's checkerboard on the floor of the small clearing. He was furious with the girl, which wasn't something he could hide, not like he wanted to anyway. Carl hated how she abused the power she held over him. He hated how she would go from being his sister to being a stranger, someone hellbent on getting herself killed. 

"Do I look tanner yet?" Jacey joked as they sat against some tires. 

"Like a shining star," Shane chuckled adjusting his hat before taking it off completely preferring the feeling of the sun shining straight on his head. "Here take this," He handed over his cap to the girl, "Don't want you getting sunstroke after being holed up in there for days." 

Jacey smiled at his almost fatherly actions and planted the black hat, that held the word 'police', on her head. "What are we doing now, by the way?" She inquired. 

"Making our way to Fort Benning," Jacey scoffed, "What? It's our safest option." 

"I don't know why yall keep lying to yourselves. Fort Benning is gone, so's the government. We saw that with our own eyes at the C.D.C." 

"Where do you suggest then, princess?" Jacey said nothing, "See... anyways that's the plan we're going with so suck it up, alright?" She merely nodded before leaning further against the stray tire. 

"You alright?" Jacey didn't respond though, not having it in her to find the words - was she okay? Was this what okay felt like? 

"Are any of us?" That shut Shane up as he peered off, overlooking the group. "I should uh... I should probably go talk to Carl," the girl mumbled standing up and dusting off the dirt from her pants. She walked off before Shane could answer which he didn't care much about. 

Jacey felt relatively nervous as she proceeded towards her family. She saw Rick look at her with hopeful eyes, which she avoided and grew closer to Carl. "Can I talk to you?" Jacey appealed. 

Carl gazed up to his older sister, "No." 

"No?" 

"You heard me right," the boy muttered looking back to the game they were playing. 

"C'mon Carl, don't make this harder than it needs to be," She challenged. 

"I said no," Carl insisted not bothering to cast his eyes back to her as he spoke. 

"Please," Jacey pleaded with the young boy and bit her lip as she saw his hands clench into a fist. 

"What don't you understand about no?!" Carl snapped, "Why can't you leave me alone? Like we all know you want to," Jacey didn't reply confused, "Don't look at me like you don't know." 

"I don't know what you mean, Carl. I want to be around y-" 

"No, you don't! You made that clear enough," Carl halted, breathing heavily, "All you do is leave me, Jacey, and I don't want to talk to you, to let you try to explain yourself b-because I know I'll believe you." The girl looked to his brother motionless, "I'll believe you and you'll leave again! You'll break every promise you make to me so I'll save you the bother of even making them. Just leave me alone." 

"I'm sorry," she undertook now looking into the boy's bloodshot eyes. 

"No, you're not... If you were you wouldn't have left me when all of this started, you wouldn't have left me to go back to that girl and you wouldn't have tried to stay with Jacqui and that doctor," He cried standing up, ignoring the stares he got, "I wish you stayed at the C.D.C."

 Carl marched off into the direction of one of the cars while Jacey wouldn't move an inch. 

"Well, I wished I stayed there too!" She screamed back at him after getting over her initial shock. The teenager roughly pushed past her father, who had now moved in her way and entered one of the cars. 

"Jacey come back here!" She heard a male voice shout to her. Jacey ignored him, of course, and took her seat in the same car Carl had just entered. 

"Leave her, Rick, she needs time," Rick looked to his wife disapprovingly. 

"She just tried to kill herself, Lori, and you want me to let her run off feeling God knows what," He choked, the reality of the statement settled in with the pair shortly after. Their daughter had tried to end her own life. "Hell if I'll leave her alone again," Rick tried to leave his wife but she held him back. 

"Give her time, alright? Carl and her need to talk they can't do that with you around," Lori told him. 

Carl refused to look at his sister as he continued to stare out of the front window. "Talk to me please," The older girl begged. 

They stayed quiet for a long time until Carl spoke up, "I don't want to wake up tomorrow and you to be gone." 

Jacey sighed, "You won't-" 

"Don't. Please don't lie to me," He shuddered, "You're my best friend, Jacey. How do you expect me to be okay without you? How could you even dare to try and do what you did at the C.D.C.? Did you even think about me? About what would happen to me?" 

"I thought I was doing you all a favour," she watched as her brother cried, unable to comfort him in any way. 

"You're selfish Jace. That's all you are and I will never forgive you for that." Memories flashed to Addie's words, words that pained her to hear but it hurt more hearing them for her brother. 

"I'm sorry."

[soniaxdixon]

The New World; Series, Pt 3

okay, two parts in one day but I really just felt like writing. enjoy this part!! 

Okay so this is my first time writing a fic and obviously will be my first series but I’ve just rewatched TWD for like the 17th time and my obsession with Daryl has reached new levels. I hope that it isn’t too shit and that you guys actually read/like it. Thank you in advance for baring with my average writing but I mean, how else will I learn? Anyway, enjoy!

Sonia x

Season 1

Part 3 of ??

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger hot headed sister. When Rick gets shot and falls into a coma, Y/N’s world ends. Y/N Finds herself at a quarry near Atlanta with her nephew carl, sister in law Lori and her best friend Glenn where she meets her new family including the equally hot headed redneck Daryl Dixon. Over time Y/N and Daryl begin to form a friendship, finally allowing one another to open up to someone and maybe finding someone they can actually love.

Words: 1790

Okay, I couldn’t hold out much longer with the whole slow burn thing, something happens in this fic...

Warnings: swearing, a little angst, slight mention of gore.

With your brother, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dogg gone you found yourself struggling to think about anything else other then something happening to them. What if they got surrounded by walkers, what if merle flips and does something to them. Constant ‘what if’ questions rolled through your head as you paced in your tent.

“Y/N!” You heard dale holler

“Hey Dale, what’s up?”

“You’ve been in your tent since they left, wanted to get you out here with the rest of the group, make sure you’re okay.” He said with sincerity.

“Thanks, Dale, I’m all good, don’t you worry. Got any jobs for me to do? I’d like to keep my mind busy.”

“Not really any jobs to do but you’re more than welcome to relax in the RV, I’ve got a couple of old books in there, maybe that’ll put your mind at ease.”

You nodded gratefully and made your way inside the RV, shuffling through Dale’s book collection until you settled on one, reading in the bed until the words began to sling together and you fell into a deep sleep.

You were woken up a while later by Carl gently shaking you. You jolted awake and grabbed your knife when you realised you had fallen asleep for god knows how long.

“Woah! I’m just here to let you know dinners ready.”

You scooted off the bed, stepped out of the RV and walked over to the group sitting around a fire, fresh grilled fish already on a plate for you. You sat next to Lori and nudged her. “I missed dinner prep? How long was I asleep, I should have helped.”

“You must have needed the rest, it was best to let you sleep.”

You nodded as you shoved a giant fork full of fish into your mouth while your stomach growled.

This night was like any other, sitting around with your family, chatting like nothing was wrong in the world, though you found yourself subconsciously searching for the archer who would usually sit across from you, constantly sneaking glances at each other. Your heart rate sped up at the thought of him and then the reality that he wasn’t there set in again, as did the worry. You were pulled from your thoughts by Andrea’s voice.

“Where are you going?”

“I gotta pee, geez, try to be discrete around here” Amy responded earning a laugh from the group.

You went to take another bite of your fish when Amy’s scream filled the air. You threw the plate and reached for your gun as you watched Amy being ripped into, Andrea already running towards her with Jim. Walkers started hastily shuffling out of the trees towards your family as you and the others sprung into action.

“Lori, Carl, you get behind me now!” You yelled over the gunfire shoving your nephew out of dangers way and putting yourself in the middle of it. You aimed at the nearest walker and BANG, it fell, a bullet between its eyes.

You noticed another hobbling towards carol, BANG, another down.

You continued to pace backwards until it was safe to send Lori and Carl into the RV. A walker lunged at you, BANG, now it was at your feet. You turned for a second when you heard Lori scream as Shane shot a biter that was close to her.

As you turned around another one lunged at you as you brought your gun up,

Click.

Your stomach knotted at the sound, you were out of bullets. You pushed against the walker with all your force as its teeth gnashed at your face. You could feel your arms weakening as its teeth got closer to your face, your feet began sliding in the dirt. You couldn’t bring yourself to pull one hand away to get your knife, this one was too big, the slightest move now and you would be gone.

BANG

The walker collapsed on top of you, knocking the air out of you as you went down. Suddenly the body was tossed away and a hand was outstretched. You realised who it was, grabbed his hand and he hoisted you up off the ground.

“Thanks, Daryl.”

He nodded and then proceeded to take out the walkers that just kept coming. You noticed how he shielded your body with his own as the dead got closer until finally, there were none left.

When everything was clear, he stormed off towards his tent without saying a word to you.

You found rick and threw your arms around him

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He mumbled into your hair

“For what?”

“For protecting Carl and Lori.”

“It’s what I do.” You chuckled slightly as you let go of him, your eyes flicking over to Daryl’s tent.

You built up some courage and started trekking towards his tent, stopping suddenly at the entrance and struggling to think of what to say. Before you had the chance to say anything he broke the silence.“Leave me alone.”

You stood there for a second before you shook your head and began unzipping the door to the tent and stepping inside. He stood up from his bed and loomed over you.  “Stupid girl, didn’t you hear what I said? Leave me the fuck alone!”

At this point he was yelling in your face but you stood your ground, getting angrier until you looked up into his eyes, you could see how red they were, he’d been crying, your anger slowly faded.  “I don’t need your fucking pity, get lost.”

He turned, expecting you to leave but instead, without even thinking, you wrapped your arms around his middle and he stiffened at the sudden contact, staring at his bed in front of him, then looking down at your arms that linked around his waist, holding him tight, grounding him. You felt his breath become shaky as he let himself cry which only made you hold him tighter.

When his breathing began to slow, you gently unlinked your arms and he turned to face you, tears staining his cheeks.

“I’m not here to offer you pity, I came to say thank you for saving me. I came to see if you were okay.”

He just stared at you for a second before you carefully reached up and wiped a single tear that was rolling down his cheek, then slowly, you snaked your hands around his neck and brought him into another hug. This time he didn’t flinch, he melted into you, placing his head in the crook of your neck while he let himself calm down.

“M’ sorry I snapped.” He whispered into your neck.

You pulled back and looked into his eyes, the blue being highlighted by his unshed tears.

“You don’t have to apologise, I get it.”

He nodded as his hands found your waist and he pulled you into another hug. This man had never been shown proper affection, he had never shown it to anyone but he so desperately craved it and you understood that, you finally gave him the affection he needed, that he deserved. You stayed like that for a minute before you pulled away, grabbing his hand and leading him over to his makeshift bed, a cot in the corner of his tent with his sleeping bag on top. You sat with him on the end of the bed and finally built up the bravery to ask.

“Daryl, what happened out there?”

He looked at you and struggled to form the words, tears threatened to fall from his eyes again until you reached for his hand and took it in yours.

“He wasn’t there, he ain’t dead but he was gone. Cut off his own damn hand, cauterised it. Tough son of a bitch. We went to look for ‘im but then this kid showed up and started yellin’, some guys took Glenn and we got into this whole thing, thought they might’ve had Merle too y’know. They didn’t. By the time we sorted everything out our damn truck was missin’ so we had to walk back. Thats when we heard the gun shots. Y/N I ran, I ran so fast and ya wanna know why? Because I thought I was gonna lose ya. I couldn’t lose ya too. I don’t know what it is but something inside me goes crazy whenever you’re around. I ain’t good at this type a thing, I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like I need to protect ya and I don’t know why. We’ve hardly talked but when we do it’s like my chest is on fire.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him, you hung onto every word for dear life, like he was reading your mind, like he was reading your emotions. Before you knew it you were pulling his face towards yours, pressing your lips against his, fitting together like a puzzle, like he was the one piece you have been missing your whole life. You slowly pulled away and looked at him, his eyes still closed from the kiss, a small smile gracing his lips, causing you to break out in a smile too.

“Daryl.” His name had never sounded so sweet, he opened his eyes looking deeply into yours as his cheeks flushed red. “That’s exactly how I feel.”

You spoke for a while, exchanging stories of the past. For a man who was so reserved, he seemed to open up to you like you were the only one who held the key to his stories. He told you about Merle, about his mother. He told you about his father, the things he used to do to merle, to him. You didn’t push him, you didn’t ask to see the scars, you simply listened and that was all he needed. The noise of everyone outside had finally quietened and that was your cue that it was time to retreat back to your tent.

“I’m gonna head back to my tent, I’ll see you in the morning.”

He wanted to ask you to stay, he needed you to stay. He felt like that was the only way he could sleep but he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

You wanted to stay, fall asleep on his chest like the many nights you had dreamt of, but you didn’t want to push what had happened. You slipped out of his tent, zipping it closed and walking over to your own. You couldn’t help fight the smile that crept on your face.

Neither you nor Daryl got much sleep that night, replaying the moments that happened, longing for each other in a way like never before.

[bruhimaunicorn]

From a Grimes to a Dixon

Paring : DarylxReader

Summary : Daryl falls for Ricks daughter and this follows their story all the way to Alexandria.

Warnings : Fluff. Death ( It’s TWD so).Cursing.implied smut. Violence.

A/N : I do give the reader a certain look since she is supposed to be Ricks daughter. Such as eye color and hair type, but besides that this is still a reader insert!

He doesn’t know how you did it. How you managed to break down every piece of him so easy. Because as far as Daryl knows, he’s the complete opposite of easy and he tried to push you away,but you didn’t let him. Every time he tried, you gave him that look. That deep world altering look. The one that told him you aren’t leaving. You were the first person to make him believe it. Hell, he can’t believe that Lori’s daughter would be the very one to hold him close at night, but you were completely different from her. He knew it from the moment he met you. It’s still so clear in his mind.

It was the first night at camp. Everyone was so tired and scared, but not you. You we’re standing guard on top of Dale’s RV with your dad’s pistol with that same look. It was like you were daring one of those things to come for you or your family. You’d end them. Just like you’re dad taught you. And Daryl didn’t understand why you weren’t cowering with your mother, or hell cowering with Shane. But you didn’t need a man. You were just fine without one. And you had this black cap on, like someone who didn’t want to be seen. Another thing he didn’t understand. You were breath taking. Something Merle did not forget to let you know as soon as he met you. You had your fathers long brown curls, his clear blue eyes, and a body that should have a warning label on it. But you aren’t broadcasting it. 

“ Y/N Grimes, Nice to meet Ya’ “ You responded with a grin when Merle had hit on you, holding your hand out for his. Merle shared a look with his brother as if he was going to get lucky with you and eagerly shook your hand, but what neither of the two expected is that you would almost break his hand. You twist his arm out to the side and force him to his knees, coming close to his face “ Talk that way to me again and you’re goin’ to find out real quick what it’s like to sip soup through a straw”. Daryl wanted to stop you, to demand you to take your hands off of his only family, but he didn’t because Merle deserved what you gave him. “ Do we have an understanding? “ You turn your head to the side, something Daryl would find that you learned from your father. That turn of the head? It meant you really, really screwed up.

Merle nodded slowly, the only time Daryl has ever seen him give up a fight, and you release him quickly after you are satisfied. “ I hope you’re not as delightful as this one? “ You ask, Daryl now with a wipe of your hands. Seeing as how you just made a little girl out of his brother, Daryl decides to answer you correctly “ Nah’ “. He watches you search his person as if you aren’t sure about him, but you say nothing about it. “ Y/N ! Come on! “ Shane then calls for you — his watch over you concerning Daryl. Don’t get him wrong, he didn’t know who you are or who Shane is to you or your family, but he didn’t trust it. “ Damn … What a broad “ Merle laughs in his brothers ear as you walk back to your family. Shane meets you with a smile—like you’re his whole world—and Daryl waits for you to return it, but you don’t. 

And that made him curious.

—

A few weeks passed by after the altercation with Merle, but Daryl never stopped watching you. You are like drugs to him at this point. Everything you do is just .. strange. You’re a good sister—a great one even with the age gap between you and Carl. He learned Lori had you at 19 and Carl at 28, making you twenty yourself, but you still played with him. He wasn’t the annoying nine year old that Merle saw Daryl as. He’s your best friend. You make him your equal. And you pull your own weight. You hunt, fish, do laundry, and take most of the night shifts without complaint. Most women around camp gripe about everything, but no not you. He wants to know why. 

You’re currently talking to, Shane about something he can tell Shane doesn’t like, but you don’t bat a eye at his argument with you. Daryl continue to skin at his squirrel from his recent hunt, but listens carefully to your conversation. “ I don’t remember asking for you to watch after me like I’m some fuckin’ kid! “ You growl at a man twice your size, but Shane doesn’t budge at your anger. “ Yeah—you didn’t ask me! But guess who did? Your dad! “ He points out and Daryl watches your face fall at the mention of your dad. Your lips twitch downward like you want to cry just at the mention of the former deputy, but instead you collect yourself and throw a glare up “ One day that line won’t work for you “. Shane falters slightly from your intensity, but stands his ground “ Yeah—well todays not that day huh? The rules stay the same. No one goes out by themselves “.

If looks could kill, he’d be ten feet under. You don’t continue the argument and Daryl figures you’ll go back to watch, but instead you stalk over towards him. He raises a eyebrow at the sight, but you’re the first to speak “ Will you come hunting with me? Apparently, I can’t go by myself anymore “. Daryl can’t hide his shock, are you actually asking him to come with you? You take his hesitation as a no, but you aren’t accepting it “ Look—I know you like to go alone and I do too,but officer do good over there won’t let me leave the premises without a man “. Tucking the squirrel away, Daryl nods “ Alrigh’. We can go now. Gettin’ real low on meat anyways”. He watches the anger fall off of your face and a small smile appear in its place. You aren’t stupid. Daryl has a whole bag of different rodents that could easily last a week. But he knows you need to get away from Shane. Or maybe everyone.

“ Thanks. I’ll owe you one “ You promise, turning on your heels to retrieve your weapons.

—

The hunting trip was quiet, but you didn’t seem to mind. You didn’t push him to make small talk like every other girl would. The quiet was nice to you. And you didn’t need him to kill for you, if you saw a squirrel you shot it. If there was a rabbit, you trapped it. It was getting close to dark when you both decide it’s probably best to head back, but you don’t seem to want to. You’re walking slower than before as if this was your death march, causing Daryl to turn back and give you a look “ You comin’ ? “. You purse your lips as if it’s a actual question “ Yeah,yeah “. You catch back up to his side , but he can still sense your reluctance. Somethings bothering you. He isn’t going to ask though—that would be weird. But you don’t need him to ask, you just come out with it “ Can I ask you something ?”.

Daryl avoids eye contact, but nods in response. “ Do you ever think about leavin? “. This stalls Daryl in his steps. He never thought you were the type to ditch your whole family. And you aren’t . He knows that. But the question still concerns him “ Why?”. You sigh through your nose as if this subject is tiresome for you “ Don’t get me wrong, I’d never leave my family behind. I’d die first. But—I— I don’t know . Forget I asked ok? “ . You begin to walk again and Daryl doesn’t push you on the subject. He just follows beside you. But he has a feeling it has to do with Shane. The whole situation rubs him wrong. Your dads best friend saves his family from geeks and says it’s what your dad would want, but then looks at you and your family the way he does… And you wanted out.

Just as you both approach the quarry and the group can be seen through the branches of the trees, Daryl stops you “ If Ya’ ever need to hunt again, come find me “.

And you smile at him again with that look, and it draws him in even deeper.

——

He got to know you a lot better with each hunt. He learned about your dad, your first dog who’s name was robber because he use to take your food, how you were going through the academy when everything fell apart to follow in your dads footsteps, and how you are one hundred percent sure big foot is real. “ Big foot? Really? “ Daryl had smirked at you, but you just rolled your eyes at him “ Alright , chupacabra don’t start something you can’t finish “. That was the first time you truly heard him laugh. He wasn’t offended and you weren’t scared to joke with him like everyone else was. He was a person when he’s with you. And it took everything in him to keep that in mind when you’re father came back.

He missed your joyful reunion—off hunting since Shane ironically put you on day shift, and he was happy for you at first. He knew how much you missed him and you were stuck to his hip at every waking moment once he was back in your life. Which caused you to start missing your hunts with Daryl, but he understood. But when he found out about Merle and that your dad had a part in it—he had to dig down deep to not hit your father in his throat. And he managed, but it was agreed that you all would help him find his brother.

And oh what a trip that was.

——

Then the CDC came, and so did the alcohol. You were all smiles at the dinner table as Daryl challenged Glenn to keep drinking, but not partaking yourself as well—your dad use to be a cop. But you knew how to have fun without it. And once you were out of the shower, Daryl found you with the kids and you proved it to him. You’re currently counting to ten as the kids squeal and try to hide whilst Daryl smiles and leans against the door frame. Once at ten, you peel your hands off your face to find him pointing to the closet where undoubtedly Sophia is hiding. You roll your eyes at him and mouth ‘ cheater’ before slowly approaching the closet “ I wonder where Sophia is? She’s so good at all this… I wonder if I should go tell everyone she’s missing! “. Giggles flood from the closet and you rip the door open, causing her to squeal.

You scoop her up and tickle her sides “ I found you! “. The girl in your arms is laughing so hard she’s crying and maybe it was the alcohol talking—but this suited you. You had a way with them. “ Now we’ve got to find Carl! “ You smile down at the girl, allowing her to climb on your shoulders. “ Be my look out Sophia! He’s a sneaky one , my brother! “. She giggles once more and you begin to search the room for your sibling. Daryl once again points out the hiding spot and sure enough Carl’s foot is sticking out from beneath the couch. This time you just wink at him , causing Daryls heart to skip for just a moment and you drop down to grab his little ankle “ Aha! There you are! “.

Your brother screams and tries to kick you out of his grip, but he’s not match for you as you gently drag him out from underneath the couch. “ And now you have to face my rath! “ You scream dramatically, and then tickle his sides as well. He laughs so loud that it attracts the attention of their mothers, who mirror Daryls actions. Your mother smiles at this brief moment of happiness between her children before he kicks at you again and you try to bite his arm “ Y/N Grimes you are a adult! Do not bite your brother! “. Daryl watches your mother go to break up your play fight as Carol follows to collect her child for bed. He wonders what you looked like as a kid. Same doe eyes most likely, but you seemed like the type that caused a whole lot of trouble.

He watches you mess up your brothers hair before giving him a goodnight hug and you then let your mom still kiss your cheek—not ashamed of the affection. Lori now marches a tired Carl out of the room, but makes sure to give Daryl a look of her own. It was the ‘ don’t hurt her’ look and he’s truly never gotten it before. It was strange. He just nods , not comfortable with the fact that they are catching on to how much he’s beginning to care for their daughter, but let’s your smile wipe away all of the doubt “ Did you come to sneak me some? “. He smirks at the second wink you give him and offers you the bottle of whiskey. You take a swig, letting it burn down your throat, before handing it back to him “ My hero “.

You’re joking, but Daryl liked the sound of it. He wouldn’t ever let you know that though. You then sit down on the couch with a content hum before motioning for him to join you. He sits as far as he can from you, but you ignore his awkwardness by putting your bare feet in his lap. He scoffs at you with a buzzed smile, but doesn’t push you away. You were comfortable with him. And he knows that’s not true for everyone around you, so he’d let you do whatever you wanted. He just wanted you near.

Rick would be the one to find you both asleep on the couch, separate, but his hand around your leg protectively. It catches him off guard at first—and he wants to rip you from his grip, but then it hits him. How he always finds you next to him, how you seem to be the only one to calm the hot head down, and how Daryl always watches over you. This wasn’t someone preying on his only daughter, it was love. Even if it was unspoken.

—-

After the cdc, there was Sophia getting lost in the woods. And that was a bad time for you. You cared for the little girl as if she were your own. You were the first one to fling yourself, unarmed, into the woods after her as the two walkers chased after her and when you couldn’t find her—you blamed yourself. This put a weight on you that wouldn’t be resolved until you found her. So, Daryl took on the task with you. But then, Carl got shot and he watched you go pale. The woman on the horse claimed she was just trying to help, but Daryl didn’t want to let you go. He didn’t know it was safe. He couldn’t protect you if he wasn’t there. “ It’s my brother,Daryl! “ You had yelled at him when he tried to stop you, yanking your arm away from him as you climb up on the horse.

You could see he was scared for you, but your brother needed you. Even with Daryl looking at you with sad eyes. This is what’s right. You rode off with the stranger, causing Daryl to curse and kick the dead walker that attacked Andrea “ So fuckin’ stubborn! “. And that’s when everyone started to realize there was something going on with you two.

Even if he didn’t want to admit it.

——

The next morning, after Carl survived the surgery, you waited for Daryl to arrive at the farm. You hope he understands why you had to go—just like he did when it came to Merle. That you can’t live with loosing your brother. “ Boy troubles? “ Maggie asks you, bringing you out of your anxiety filled thoughts. You want to deny the woman and tell her to mind her business, but she did let you all in her house so you decided to just shrug your shoulders. She smiles softly and watches you watch the dirt path anxiously “ I know that look, Y/N”. You still won’t give her the satisfaction of telling her your love life or whatever this is with Daryl, but don’t drop your eyes from the road. Kindly, she sits and waits with you since you’re not up for talking right now. That’s what made you realize that she’s good people.

Once you hear the familiar loud motor, you just about jump out of your skin. He was here. He’s followed by the rest of the group that was still at the highway and you don’t hesitate to go to him. You probably look like a stupid school girl, but you don’t care. “ Hey “ You smile at him as he gets off his bike, but he doesn’t smile back. He just gives you a stare “ Now Ya’ wanna talk? “. Your stomach twists uncomfortably, Daryls never been mad at you before. “ He made it through, he’s going to be ok “ You offer him news, but he turns that down as well. “ That’s great, Y/N . Real great . How ‘bout you go tell Shane all about it “ He spits at you. Your eyebrows knit together at the mention of Shane “ Wha- what are you talking about ? “.

He rolls his eyes like it’s obvious and turns to stalk off in another direction, but you grab his elbow as he tries “ Daryl wait- “. He then yanks his elbow from you and the look in his eyes intimidates you. He doesn’t have to say anything as him harshly removing himself from your touch says it all. He wanted to hurt you. Like watching you leave hurt him. He then continues to storm off and you blink away the tears in your eyes. Thankfully, no one was paying attention to you as everyone was just concerned about Carl. Except for Shane, he was watching the whole situation and took the chance to swoop in. He figures if he can suck up to you, you won’t mind when he figures out a way to win your mom over.

“ You alright? “ He asks, hat in hand like he could make everything better. You just shake your head and give out a cough “ I’m fine- just worried about Carl is all”. Shane knows you’re lying, but let’s you. “ He’s going to be fine. I made sure of that “ He then tells you, playing on your feelings for your brother . You want someone who understands your situation and he was going to be just that. You offer him a smile even though you’re crumbling on the inside “ Thank you”. He points to his cheek like he use to when you were a little girl and you roll your eyes “ I’m not a little girl anymore, Shane “. He just continues to smile “ I don’t care how old you get girl, I still get my kiss on the cheek”. You give him the harmless kiss as you always have and walk off to get some space , but Shane took it as progress and let you wonder off.

Leaving him to plots concerning your father.

—-

The following week, Daryl doesn’t talk to you. He ignores your existence entirely. And you begin to wonder if you imagined all of this. You thought this was going somewhere. That he understood you, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were wrong about all of this. And Shane was trying to hang around you more and more, only adding to your agitation. Sure, he was a family friend, but the way he looked at you and your whole family was beginning to creep you out. So, you began to look for Sophia by yourself. Even if you’re dad didn’t like it. You want to be alone. At least when you’re alone, you can hear yourself think. Even if it’s about Daryl…

You hadn’t found much on her whereabouts yet, but you aren’t giving up. Even if it kills you. And that’s what you set out to do, from sun up to sun down that’s where you are and it causes concern within the group. You hear their whispers as you pass by them at dinner, but you don’t care. You can take care of yourself and it’s better than just sitting on your ass like their doing or playing tough guy like Andrea is. The thought of the woman makes you roll your eyes, but she hadn’t hurt anyone so far. So you let it go.

And then the next day the sun rises and begins to set before she does, and it all happens so fast. First, she spots the so called walker and you demand she doesn’t fire as does your dad, but she keeps her aim set. You ignore her though, writing her off as she’s not the biggest concern right now, and you run towards the supposed walker. You’re closest, so you reach the figure before anyone else and you raise your gun on it. “ You gonna shoot me now? “ Daryl rasps at you, causing you to lower your weapon as the guys catch up to you. “ Daryl?!” You now rush to his side as he’s barely standing in front of you, and hold him up. “ How bad are you hurt ?! “ You ask him, your dad coming to help you hold him. “ Why do you c- “ He’s about to be snappy with you before a gunshot rings out, and Daryl suddenly goes limp in your arms.

Your eyes go wide “ DARYL?! “. Your dad is already yelling for help as you have no choice ,but to start moving him as fast as you can. “ Did she get him?! “ You panic at your dad, but he shakes his head no to your relief. “ Just grazed him “. Your shaking as you help drag him to Hershel, who takes it over from there. You have his blood on your hands and just from the look of it, it sends a shiver down your spine. Yes, you know he’s going to be ok, but this scared the absolute shit out of you. He could’ve easily.. This could’ve been a whole different situation if she was two inches to the left in her aim. Andrea now runs in as if she can hear your thoughts, causing a ugly side of you to boil over.

She’s pulling at her hair and holding her chest as if she’s scared. As if this could’ve hurt her. And never in your life have you felt this anger for another person. Dale walks her out of the room as Hershel needs less bodies in the room and you watch as Dale comforts her. As if she’s the one who needs comforting. Andrea finally feels your eyes on her, but it’s too late. You’re already half way to her , arm cocked back ready to punch that scared expression of her face . And you do, you get one really good punch into her mouth before your dad grabs you by your arms and she’s screaming bloody murder. “ What the fuck, Y/N?! “ She’s holding her mouth as blood begins to drip from it.

You thrash against your dads arms as he moves you all outside as inside hershels home was not the place for this to happen. “ Oh— I’M FUCKING SORRY DID YOU FORGET THAT YOU DERSERVED THAT?! THAT HE COULDVE DIED?! “ You scream, the thickness in your voice let’s her know that if you get out of your dads arms she better run. “ SOME FUCKING TOUGH GUY YOU ARE! CANT EVEN TAKE A PUCH! “ You’re yelling at her like a lunatic and your dad has to shove his hand over your mouth to keep everyone from hearing. You want everyone to see her for what she is right now.

But in reality they see you for what you are, a girl in love.

——-

The next days are spent at Daryls bedside, even if he’s still mad at you, and you even sleep at his side in the most uncomfortable chair. Which is what you’re currently doing as ,Carol brings in his dinner. His eyes dart over to the woman and he motions for her to keep quiet. Even if he was upset with you, he didn’t want anyone to wake you. You looked so tired. Carol smiles at your sleeping figure. You deserved it. Besides Daryl, you are the only one that hasn’t truly lost hope in finding her daughter. “ She’s a good one “ Carol whispers to Daryl, setting his food on the table beside him. Daryl just nods, but carol decides to push the subject further “ You know, she punched Andrea that day you got shot“. Daryl gives the older woman a confused look. When did you do this? And why hadn’t you mentioned it to him?

“ Yeah, she was so mad that Andrea shot you. She went ballistic on the poor girl “ Carol confirms, shrugging as if it’s not big deal. No one blames you for punching her. She broke the rules Hershel set and almost killed a valued member of your group. It was justified. “ Can’t imagine her doin’ that “ Daryl mumbles, looking over at you as if he’s trying to. Carol laughs slightly “ You’ve seen the way she takes down walkers, this isn’t too far fetched “. Daryl doesn’t argue with the woman and she realizes she should probably give the two of you some time to rest. But she stops just before closing the door “ You know, the two of you have done more for my little girl, than her father has her whole life “.

And with that she shuts the door, leaving Daryl alone to be with his thoughts of you. He watches you stir slightly in your sleep , moving uncomfortably in the chair, and he realizes how you deserve this bed more than he does.

You did punch someone for him.

——

The next day, you help Daryl move back into his tent. He’s currently poking holes in the net while you tidy everything up for him, but you can feel him staring at you. “ Well I’m going to get out of your hair now. Yell if you need me “ You sigh, getting back on your feet. “ Aye “ He stops you just as your about to leave and you turn to see him still staring at the holes he’s made. “ You’re talking to me now? “ You ask, hand planted on your hip. You watch him nervously toy with the holes before he takes a deep breath “ M’sorry”. You can tell this makes him uncomfortable so you let your anger slip away. He wasn’t good at this and you don’t want to push him into anything.

“ I-it’s fine, Daryl. I get it “ You tell him, your voice showing him just how tired you are. He looks up from the tent to examine your face. There’s bags under your eyes, undoubtedly from sleeping in that chair, and your cheeks are sunken in like you haven’t eaten in a couple of days. “ C’mere “ He pats the spot next to him. You shake your head “ I can’t I’ve got- “. He stops you from rambling your list of duties “ They’ll be fine for an hour. Now c’mon “. You give him a half sigh, knowing how much your needed right now, but give in and lay beside him. He moves his pillow so that you can be comfortable and you smile up at him. He narrows his eyes down at you “ Why are you smilin’”. You just shrug and let your eyes close, his scent filling your nose as you snuggle into the pillow “ Nothing “. You can hear him mumble to himself that that’s bullshit, causing your smile to stretch.

But once he believes you’re asleep, you can feel him pull his blanket over you and brush your hair out of your eyes.

——

From that point on, Daryl made it a point to be near you again. He felt bad how he treated you. You didn’t deserve that. Not for wanting to be with your brother. He was just scared to loose you. But he didn’t have to say anything, you understood him without words. When he would bring food to you at night, or when he would check you for scratches after a search for Sophia it meant I’m here. That he’s not going to let anyone hurt you. And when his hand would graze the small of your back when you looked stressed or when his hand grazed yours when you were close to him, it meant he was checking on you. And you never question him about it, you let him do as he pleases. This is how he shows his love.

But the day did come where it was known that there’s walkers in the barn. And then the day that that Sophia walked out of said barn as one of them, came as well. And you couldn’t believe your eyes. There was the little girl that you had been chasing now for weeks. The little girl who you put on your shoulders just a month ago at the CDC. Your breath caught in your throat as her dead eyes glance your way and it kills you to see her like this. She was just a kid.

The only thing that tears your attention away from the little girl, is her moms cries as Daryl holds her back. You couldn’t even imagine. Your heart breaks for the woman who had already lost so much. This wasn’t what the world was supposed to be like. That little girl was supposed to out live you all. Not this—whatever cruel joke this was.And once Sophia’s second life is sent to an end, Carol runs off in the other direction. And in that moment, you expect Daryl to walk away. That this would surely send him over the edge, but he doesn’t. Instead, he walks over to you and places his hand on your back. Instead he checks on you.

But he would push everyone else away, just not you. He’d bite everyone else’s head off, just not yours. He just made room for you. He let you sleep next to him , even if he wasn’t ready to hold you.

——-

And then the farm fell, and he couldn’t find you. And he’s never been so scared in his life. Not even when his dad use to beat him. This was you. All he could do was yell for you, kill walkers, and repeat. But you were gone. Everyone was gone. His heart is beating a thousand miles an hour, but he can’t accept it. You had to be ok. You’re a fighter. You wouldn’t give up—you wouldn’t leave him. And as fate would have it, he would find Carol who convinced him to go back to the highway. Sure enough, they you were. You were on your knees, holding Carl’s hands as if you were trying to tell him something he wouldn’t like,but as soon as you heard his bike you got off of your knees and ran straight to him.

He barely has time to get off the bike before you’re throwing your arms around him “ Oh god—I thought..I didn’t see you! “. And even though you both hadn’t said anything yet, hadn’t made anything official, he grabbed you as tight as he could. “ I know” he whispers into your hair as he can still feel your body shake against him. “ If anything would’ve happened to you- “. “ Shh”. You press your face into his chest and he smoothes your hair back from your face, catching your fathers gaze. Rick looks over the two of you, but says nothing. He only gives Daryl a nod and let’s the man comfort you.

He’s glad you have someone who will take care of you if he’s not around.

——-

The next seven months aren’t the easiest. Your mom is due any day now and you can’t find a place for longer than an hour before the dead are running you off to the highway again. Food is low, water is low, and game is scarce as it seems the walkers found out that deers taste good. You scoff to yourself as you think back to that time back at the quarry, but do nothing as your stomach rumbles. Your standing guard over your mother as everyone is trying to plot where to go next and she grabs your arm “ You ok? “. She offers you a small smile and return it. Your father and brother haven’t been the nicest to her lately after Shane. Turns out she was having a whole fling with him before your dad got back. And it just put them at odds.

And while you couldn’t understand how she could even touch another man with your dad so recently gone, you didn’t judge. She needed someone in her corner and you’d give her that. “ I’m fine mom don’t worry about me”. She rubs your arm softly “ I’ll always worry about you. That’s what moms do you know? “. You place your hand on hers and try to comfort her the best you can before Daryl waves you over. “ I’ll be back “ You promise her , giving her a small squeeze before joining him. “ Gonna go hunting with your dad. Wanna come? “ He asks, collecting his stuff. Giving him a nod, you look around to keep track of everyone. “ C‘mon” He tugs on your wrist, ripping you from your worry.

You follow him off into the woods , where your dad has already gotten a head start. Both of you are quiet, the world around you the same, and you wonder if there’s any actual game out here. Usually you’d at least hear a frog, but right now ? Nothing. It was odd. Daryl seems to notice the same thing and protectively walks before you, but finds nothing wrong as you catch up to your dad. He’s got a hard expression on his face, as always, and you let him talk with Daryl as it’s obvious that’s what he wants. You don’t mind though.You just walk infront of the two and try to pin point any game whilst they talk about the true next steps.

You can only hear a little of what their saying, but it doesn’t matter as you look to your right and spot a prison. And you knew that this is why it was so quiet. Your dads in mid speech about something when you turn and point to the building. Daryl follows your gaze, but is quick to dismiss it “ Ain’t that a shame “. Yes, you can see the walkers—and there is a lot of them—but you can also see the potential. There’s gates, guard towers, undoubtedly a commissary which meant food, and hopefully a safe place to welcome your little sibling into the world. Rick is already thinking the same as you and the look on his face gives you hope. He hasn’t looked so relieved in such a long time.

——

And it would be a home. Four an entire two days before a ex inmate let the walkers into your walls. And ended up not only killing, T-dog, Possibly Carol, but your mom. As soon as you heard the baby’s cries… There was no doubt. She was gone. Daryl watches your face go pale and his stomach twists as you fall to your knees, mouth gaped open as if you’re trying to find the words. Carl runs to you instinctively and all you can do now is hold your brother tight. You have to be his rock now more than ever. Especially as your dad looses all of his will right before the both of you. Tears poor down your face, but you don’t let Carl see them. He needs you to be strong. Something your dad can’t be right now.

You watch as he runs into the prison, undoubtedly to find your mother’s body for himself and it’s like your life is on auto pilot. That everyone’s moving around you and talking, but you’re not controlling any of it. There’s a gaping hole in your chest the size of Texas- and everyone can see it - but it didn’t matter. “ Hey - hey “ You pull your brothers face up from your chest, his tears pooling from his blue eyes. “ We’re ok. We’re going to be ok “ You promise him. His lip quivers, but you just shake your head at him “ We need to take care of our little sibling now, ok? It needs us to be strong for it ok? “. He’s shaking like he’s ready to stuff his face back into your neck, but you force him to look at you “ We have to do this for mom “.

He nods slightly, but it’s clear he’d be crying himself to sleep tonight. “ We’re going to need formula—fuck do we even have clothes for it ? “ You’re brainstorming your list out loud, looking over your shoulder at Daryl. “ We’ll get sum’. There’s a daycare up the road. Bout’ twenty miles out “ He confirms, his eyes glued on you. You nod and turn back to your brother “ I’m going to have to go- “. “- No! Don’t leave! “ Carl interrupts you, his eyes as wide as the sea. You place both of your hands on his cheeks, wondering just how to get him through this, but you find the words “ I will never leave you, Carl. But this baby won’t make it without food . It won’t even survive the night “. He’s shaking like a leaf , but let’s you go. He trusts you.

You feel like you’re going to vomit, but push past it and force yourself over to Maggie. She’s holding your little brother or sister with a terrified gaze, but you just scoop her from Maggie to let her grieve. Someone should get to. You adjust the squirming baby into the proper position “ H-hi there “. It calms at your voice as if it was waiting for you and you grab it’s little hand, tears forcing their way out of your eyes. “ She’s a girl “ Maggie informs you, as it’s obvious you’re trying to find out by picking at a thin cloth someone gave her. A girl. “ I see “ you force a smile down at your sister “ So you’re here to steal my spot, huh?”. Carl’s now at your side and your comment cheers him slightly “ Y-yeah, she is “. You’re both smiling now, but Daryl can tell it’s all an act. That you’re falling apart on the inside.

And the moment you two reach the daycare, he finds out just how right he is. You’re the first to get off his bike, but as soon as you do you’re chest is heaving like you’re going to be sick. “ Y/N - “ Daryl tries to calm you, but you just rush over to the nearest bush and empty you’re stomach. Daryl runs after you and holds your hair back for you, the only thing he can truly do for you at the moment. He can feel you shake,but it’s short lived as you didn’t have enough on your stomach for it to last long. “ Fuck me “ You groan and give a wipe to your mouth, before turning back to Daryl. Your eyes are now strained,but he doesn’t expect any different. “ I can do this “ He offers, his hands coming to your hips in support. “ N-no. I can do this. She needs me “.

There’s fresh tears covering your red cheeks that say other wise and Daryl has no idea how to make you ok again. You’ve been the one putting him back together again all this time and he’s never even seen you cry. Not once. You’re grabbing at the roots of your hair now, looking to the sky for answers “ How- What do I do now, Daryl ? “. Again, he doesn’t know. His minds screaming for him to help you, but he doesn’t move. What could he possibly do? A sob finally escapes your lips “ Oh God- she’s really gone isn’t she ? What the fuck do I do?! “. And without any idea, Daryl just grabs your face so you’ll look at him. You’re eyes meet his quickly as you have no other choice. He’s inches from your face and you feel his heart beat against your chest. He wants to tell you that’s it’s going to be ok, but that’s not going to be enough. You were smarter than that.

So, he just kisses you instead. Even though you just threw up and your lips are covered with tears, he doesn’t care. He just wants to hold you together. Just like you always do. And he’s never kissed you before—not even with sleeping next to each other every night,but you take it. You let his lips move with yours for as long as he’s willing. And he knows Nothing has ever felt so right. He only pulls away to catch his breath,but let’s his forehead rest on yours. Oh, how you take his breath away so easily. “ I-I don’t know, Y/N. But we’ll figure it out “ Daryl finally gives you an answer.

You trust his words and hope to God this will all work out.

——

Months go by as obstical after obstacle presents its self, but Daryl was right. Together, you both figured out how to make it ok. Through the governor, through the fear, through Andrea and Merles deaths, and even through welcoming all of the governors people into the prison. You made a way. And now the prison is thriving. There’s running water now and plenty of food. A place for baby Judith to grow and for Carl to remember how to be a kid again. He even has a friend. Your days are full as you have plenty of people to care for now, which put you as a prime member on the council. But all of the responsibility does keep you and Daryl separate for most of the day.

You aren’t a big fan of that, but it made the nights something to look forward to. You’d always get back to your cell last, since you try to squeeze in a kiss for Judith at night, but Daryl always waits up for you. Tonight’s no different as you quietly open the curtain to your shared cell, giving him a small smile “ Hey stranger”. He looks up from a book with a smirk of his own “ S’that what I am now? “. He moves to the edge of the bed, motioning for you to come his way. “ Let me check Ya’ “. You let him do as he pleases and smile as he checks you for scratches. He knows you haven’t been outside the gates in over a week. Once you’re in the clear, you turn to face him and he raises an eyebrow at your shirt. Completely forgetting that Judith spit up on you, you laugh down at your shirt “ I’m so tired I completely forgot”.

He smiles— How precious you are sitting there with puke on you. You smile back and move to change your shirt, revealing your back to his gaze. He traces your back , his hands gripping the bottom of the bed, and you pay him no mind. This is one of the ways you show him how comfortable you are with him. And no, he’s not good at all of this. But he does notice all the little signs you give him to reassure him. Like how you’re fine undressing infront of him. And he’s never touched you in that way, but you let him know with these little actions that when he’s ready he can. “ Oh- shoot” You gasp, when you’re dragging your jeans off of your legs. Daryl automatically locks his eyes on your leg where a large bruise is forming and he’s quick to help you.

“ It’s ok , I’ve got it Dare “ You insist, hopping slightly as you try to pull the clothing off of you. He ignores you, moving forward with his instinct to take care of you and helps you tug them off “ Stop bein’ so stubborn”. You grab his shoulder for support “ You’re the one to talk “. He grumbles something at you, causing you to smirk, before he tosses your jeans to the side. His eyes drop back down to yours once he does, and you wait for him to come back at you with your usual playful banter, but it doesn’t come. And then it hits you, that even though there’s only light by candle, you can see how un-easy he is. And not because he doesn’t enjoy his view— He loves it actually. But having you this close? Without clothes?

You offer him a smile, this didn’t have to turn into that. “ Hey, lets go to bed “ You offer, completely content with having him next to you tonight. You pull a shirt over your frame and lead him to your bed, but you can tell he’s upset with himself. You can always tell when he’s upset because he won’t hold you. Sighing, you sit up on the mattress “ Daryl, it’s fine.Really “. You can practically feel him roll his eyes at you. “ Not fuckin’ fine “ He groans, turning on his side and leaving you alone for the rest of the night.

———

The next morning, you wake up alone. Which isn’t surprising since this is how it always happens, but it feels different after the small argument— or whatever that was last night. Mentally, you groan at the situation, but get up and begin your day anyways. Just cause you had a fight with your boyfriend doesn’t mean the walkers will stop for you. Tossing clothes on, you shove your M9 into your waist band and exit the cell to find Carol holding Judith. You smile at the sight of your sister and it’s clear she sees you as she squeals for you. “ Every time “ Carol laughs, offering you the girl. You accept her into your arms and Judith places her hand on your mouth. She does this every time now knowing you’ll make pig noises and bite her hand, just like your mom did with you. You grant her wishes and she giggles at you.

These little moments you cherish more than anything, but you have to give her back as you have to get to your list of many things to do. “ You ok? “ She asks once you are free of the baby. Nodding, you move towards the perch to leave, but stop as you wonder why she’s asking. She tilts her head slightly, like she was a caring mom “ Daryl was in one rare mood this morning is all. Wanted to make sure you two are good “. You just shrug at the woman you consider family “ We’re all good, Carol. Thanks for asking though “. You can feel her gaze on your back as you exit the cell block. He must be in some mood for Carol to warn you like that. You brace yourself for it as you walk towards Beth who is currently cooking something Daryl killed yesterday. Her boyfriend is there with her and you offer them both a smile as you approach “ Morning “.

Beth smiles in return, but obviously has the same thoughts as carol did. You choose to ignore it and pick at the deer meat that’s already cooked “ You coming on the run today? “. Zach nods eagerly, trying to sneak his own piece like you just did “ Yes mam “. You smirk at his choice of words and leave the couple to begin picking off the walkers at the wall. They’re starting to look overwhelmed so this would be task number one of the day. Maggie is already picking some off as you join her, but it doesn’t take long for you to notice she’s wearing a frown.You know she’s scared that she might be pregnant. She hasn’t told you, afraid of your reaction because of what happened to your mom, but you could tell. There’s just a certain look. “ Anything you want me to pick up for you on the run? “ You ask hoping she will confide in you, shoving your knife into a walkers head. You pull your arm back and continue the same action two more times before , Maggie looks at you.

You can feel her looking you up and down, before she groans “ How do you know?”. Smirking, you continue to assault the walkers “ You know I grew up with cops right? For god sakes, my dad was the sheriffs deputy. I got pretty good at reading people “. She’s glad you aren’t mad at her, but grabs your arm to stop you so she can have your full attention “ After your mom- “. You stop her by holding her hand that she grabbed you with “ Maggie it’s fine. I’m fine “. She’s searching your eyes for any sign you’re not fine, but you squeeze her hand for effect “ You and Glenn are married. I expect you to have my nieces and nephews “. She laughs as you clearly want cute little Glenn’s running around and that she’s definitely your family. It seems to relive her of her stress and you go back to picking the line. She follows your lead and shrugs to herself “ Maybe you and Daryl can give them someone to play with? “.The idea makes your heart feel warm, but you don’t respond to her.

After last night, you don’t know if that’s something he’d want for the two of you.

——-

When it came time for the run, you gave your dad and Carl a hug before finally coming face to face with Daryl. He’s currently filling up the bike with gas, but you know he can sense that your near. He just doesn’t want to face you. You believe he’s mad at you, but truly he’s just embarrassed about the whole situation. He doesn’t understand how he could have you infront of him like that, but not act the way he wants to. You fold your arms over your chest and you debate asking Zach for a ride, but it would just make this all too obvious. Daryl then drops the cap to the gas and you reach to help him, but he’s quick to make sure you can’t. You furrow your eyebrows at him. Is he really being childish ? Your lips purse and leave him to his assholeness.

Your half way to Bob and Tyreese before he’s finished with his task and calling for you “ Aye “. You turn to find him giving you a questionable look. You never rode without him. “ What? You obviously don’t want me around “. This catches Bob’s attention, but he thankfully gives y’all privacy. He narrows his eyes at Bob before you, and then rolls his eyes for you to see “ Fine! “. He swings his legs over the bike and starts it up, obviously telling you to ride with them instead and you can feel your stomach twist uncomfortably. You can feel your face drop as well, but Bob comes to your side to try and defuse the situation “ Hey, you can sit with me! We’re playing the alphabet game “. As much as you appreciate Bob’s easy going ness , right now you can’t imagine spending the next thirty minutes listening to the stupid game.

But you would. And the run wouldn’t put you in a better mood either. Usually, you love getting out of the prison even if it was just for a little bit. But that was mostly because of getting alone with Daryl. Yet, you do your job and search the stocked store. You’re in the hygiene aisle tossing soap and other necessities in your bag, but stop when your eyes land on the pregnancy tests. You debate on grabbing one for Maggie, but as you grasp one in your hands you can feel eyes on you. You know exactly who they belong to and roll your eyes mentally, deciding to just shove it in your bag and move on.

You move onto dry goods and grab a couple of jars of baby food before you hear Bob yelling for help. Your eyes widen at the sound and you rush towards it to find him pinned under a shelve.There’s a walker under it as well and you quickly try to pull the shelf off of him, groaning as you need help “ Anybody!! “. There’s loud foot steps heading your way, but they aren’t fast enough as Bob screams in fear. Daryl finally reaches you and the two of you attempt to free the man, but then you start to hear the groans. And light is starting to appear from holes in the roof. “ Daryl! “ You point out, causing him to try and lift even harder. Finally, you feel as it’s moving, but then a walker falls through the roof and the whole store descends into chaos. Daryl has to rip you away from your task as a walker gets too close to you and you slam into a near by shelf. Daryl quickly sends a bolt into its head and you have no time to catch your breath before another one staggers towards you. You push off of the shelf and shove your blade as hard as you can into the top of its head, kicking it back as soon as it’s life less.

Daryls quick to grab you again and push you towards the middle of the store, but there’s too many and you’d both have to kill at least six of them before being able to go any further. Thankfully, you can see Zach and Tyreese helping bob so this is your prime objective. You stand back to back with Daryl and begin your assault, coating yourself and the floor in various fluids. And as is if this wasn’t bad enough, you can now see a helicopter trying to fall through the roof. Daryl obviously notices too, but the two of you are getting backed up into the exact spot it’s going to fall. “ Daryl! Y/N! “ Glenn yells, clearing a path for you . You rush to take it and Daryl is right behind you.

And then you see it, Zach gets bit and there’s nothing any of you can do but run.

——

That night you waited on Daryl to come to bed. He wanted to be the one to tell Beth about Zach, so you granted his wish and gave him the space to do so, but what you didn’t count on was him getting stopped by your brother on his way back to you. Daryl was just leaving Beths cell, a distant expression on his face, and Carl knew it all to well. Daryl begins to head back to you, not realizing your brother is watching him, but stops as Carl stands infront of the perch “ I need to talk to you “. Daryl nods up to your cell “ In the mornin’. Need to talk to Y/N “. Carl puts his hand on Daryls shoulder “ It’s about her “. Daryl raises a eyebrow at the kid, but follows his lead to just outside the cell block. Carl paces slightly before announcing his reasons for stopping the hunter.

“ I wanted to say thank you for bringing Y/N back safely.. I heard it was really bad “. Daryl gives your brother a nod, but waits as there’s obviously another reason he pulled him aside. “ And- I saw what was in Y/N’s bag and I need you to know that if she is.. if she’s pregnant that it’s going to be ok. I think she’ll be a great mom “. Daryl looks your brother up and down as if he has two heads, but remembers you stashing a test in your bag. Obviously you aren’t pregnant, but looking at the hope in his eyes made Daryl wish it was true. “ She’s not. T’s for someone else “ He explains, the kid infront of him slumping slightly at the news. At this moment he looks just like you. “ Well, that’s cool too I guess “ Carl accepts. His lips are pursed slightly, but he lets the idea go. Carl begins to leave Daryl to go back to his task, but stops just to tell him something Daryl needs to hear “ You make her happy you know? And I think you’d make a cool brother in law. Even if she’s not pregnant “.

The kid smirks at the taller man and leaves the hall way to probably go hug you goodnight. You two have a nightly ritual after all. Even with Carl getting older, he never misses it. Most nights, Daryl would listen from the hallway as you let him lay on your shoulder. You’d tell him that you’re proud off him and that it’s ok to miss mom too. And that you’ll never leave him. But Daryl wonders would he make a great brother to Carl? The whole conversation leaves Daryl second guessing everything. He eventually climbs the stairs to over hear your nightly ritual. “ I told Daryl that he’d make a cool brother in law “ Carl confesses as you rub his back, just like mom use to do. You smirk down at him “ Oh yeah? You want him to be your brother now? “. He can hear Carl laugh softly, but not at any harm to Daryl.

“ Dad said you’re happy with him. That Daryl is a good man. I just wanted him to know that it’d be kinda cool to have him be one of us “ Carl explains to you and you can feel your heart swell at his words. Never before has Carl liked any of your boyfriends. Ever. “ He is one of us “ You agree, but Carl seems to have a different opinion. “ He has to propose first, stupid “. You send a fist into his shoulder “ First off, I will and can beat your ass Carl. And second, it doesn’t really work that way anymore. Family isn’t defined by a ring or a piece of paper. Especially since I’m pretty sure the aliens dropped you off on our door step and we were just too kind to leave you there “ . Carl laughs at your threat and punches you back, but doesn’t miss the fact that you consider Daryl family already.

“ So you don’t want a ring? Just dating is fine with you? “ He asks after the two of you call a cease fire. You shrug slightly, not ever really giving the idea any thought “ I don’t know. I feel like Daryl and I are good. He can give me a ring if he wants and if he doesn’t I’ll be ok. I know where we stand and that’s enough for me “. Carl seems to be confused on all of this, but is glad you know what you’re doing. “ Relationships are really weird “. Hugging him goodnight, you give a kiss to his head“ You’re not wrong,Grimes. You’re not wrong “. He leaves you to find his bed and you begin to lay down, only to sit right back up when Daryl enters the cell. He looks so tired, eyes straining to stay awake, but you resist the urge to hug him. There’s still a weird feeling in the air.

He looks your frame over before setting his things down , not really giving you a idea of what is going through his mind. “ How’d it go with, Beth? “ You ask quietly, not really knowing what else to say. His shoulders roll “ Went fine “. Mentally you want to skip to the part where everything’s good and that all this in between won’t matter. He looks over his shoulder at you, noticing that you let your hair down and that you’re scrubbed clean, and remembers the girl he met that day at the quarry. The girl who never treated him like anything other than good. It makes him sigh. God, he hated disappointing you. Those doe eyes of yours search his for any sign of a white flag, he notices. You didn’t want to fight. You just wanted him. But it’s hard for him to accept. His doubts are miles long, but you seem to always make it through them.

Shyly, you creep off of the bed and hug his back tightly to prove this point. No matter the argument he tried to put up earlier, you know his heart. Your hands smooth over his chest and he can feel you place a kiss to his back , ever so careful in your movements. His eyes close tightly in response. Always so careful with him like he’s something special. All the demons in his mind scream otherwise, but feeling your head rest on his back seems to melt them down somehow. “ I know this is all new for you, but I want you to remember that all I’ll ever need is you. You can be mad at me for the rest of my life— god willing it’s a long one— but you’re going to have to accept that. You’re my family”. Your kisses continue “ I’m never going to let you go, even when you push me away “. Your words promise a future to him. And for the first time he can feel how bad you want him to be apart of it. That you’re going to be with him and only him.

“ Just tell me that’s all you want. That you’re in this forever with me “ You ask of him. And this is the first time you’ve ever asked him to confirm his feelings for you. And fuck, he never realized how this must be for you.That he’s never asked you to be with him. That you’re just supposed to love him without any confirmation given. He slowly grabs your hands and holds them close, hoping his touch feels just as right as yours does “ Yeah, I want that “. You smile against his back, content in this alone, showing him that you have no ulterior motives. That you’ll have him in every way and never leave. “ Can we go to bed ? “ You ask , but don’t leave his grasp. He can hear a small yawn escape, but he doesn’t give you what you want.

Instead, he turns around and smoothes your hair out of your face resulting in you grinning at him like you’re just eating up any affection he’s willing to give you. And it feels good to have someone look at him like that and mean it. He places his hand on your side, slightly grabbing it so you’ll come closer, and you gladly take his hint. You take the opportunity to kiss him and he can smell the vanilla wafting off your skin, drawing him into your lips even more than before. This smell always makes him feel like he’s at home. But, you pull away all too soon reminding him of your wish to sleep. And he can’t explain what you did to him by pulling away from him, but he quickly pulls you back to him. You raise your eyebrow at him, but don’t have a chance to question his actions as his hands find your hips and he’s quick to grasp at the skin that lays beneath your shirt.

Your eyes fall to his hands as the trace their way up your ribs and you notice his eyes asking for permission to remove the shirt that stops him from continuing. You remove the item without hesitation— as far as your concerned you’re his. And no, you didn’t have a ring or some piece of paper, but you would only be his for the rest of your life.You let the item fall without care and in the candle light, he counts all the little freckles he’s never noticed before. He traces them with his finger and this night would end with him finding every one of them.

—-

Every night after would be similar, until the prison fell and once again he’d loose you. You’d be know where to be seen, but he’d have to abandon the prison without you. Luckily, you got out with Michonne, but neither of you knew about each others where about. And it scared you. Days would pass by before you even caught up with your dad and brother, and while that was a joyous reunion, they could see the sadness in your eyes. You didn’t bother to talk a lot, only when needed, and it felt like you were dying inside. It was the unknown that killed you. Daryl wasn’t any better as he tried to provide , Beth with safety, but it wasn’t a life she wanted.

She hated sitting in the middle of the Forrest, eating snakes and she was quick to let Daryl know that, but he wasn’t much of a chatter box either. She wants to push him to admit he misses you and that he’s upset about the way things happened, because he’s just acting like none of it happened. And she eventually does, hitting him like a curse word with your name “ Y/N would hate to see you like this! She would be right in your face telling you to suck it up! But you don’t care right?! You don’t care that she’s gone! That Maggie’s gone! “. “ Don’t say her name! “ He would yell at her, but Beth wouldn’t let up. He needed to believe that you’re alive again. That this wasn’t all truly over. “ Why not, Daryl?! Huh? She’s out there and we’re sitting in the Forrest like bait! “.

Luckily, your family wasn’t pushing you the same way. They gave you your space and you still gave Carl the attention he needed, but you are just going along with whatever they choose. And eventually it would be terminus that they set their sights on, after your dad had to kill that man in the house you were holding up in. You don’t know what to feel about terminus, but they seemed to think it’s where everyone else would’ve headed.

Daryl would see the sign too, but it would be without Beth as she had been taken already. He was with a new group now, but it wouldn’t last. He was just surviving at this point and hoping Beth was right. That you were out there and waiting for him. And as fate would have it, he’d find you that very night. Just not in the best of situations. You were sitting around the small fire with your dad and michonne, listening to their small talk when a man would come behind you all and aim weapons at your heads. You thought this was it. That this was how you were going to die. And all you could do was look to Carl as he was pinned to the ground beneath an older man. Rick would look to you and his son in fear, but it’s Daryl that stops the scene playing out to escalate.

“ Wait— wait! “ He pleads, revealing himself from the woods causing your eyes to go wide. He briefly makes eye contact with you as the man behind you grins and grips your neck tightly. The leader of this little group would hear him out for a moment before proceeding to call him a liar and sick his men on him, causing you to scream for them to stop. You jerk in the man’s grip, but it was of no use. He grazes the knife across your skin like it pleased him and your dad was sickened at the sight, but you don’t let out any signs of fear. You needed to be strong. If you were all going to die, Carl’s last picture of you shouldn’t be crying and begging for your life. His knife would trail down your shirt as he makes it obvious he would do more than just kill you and it’s then that, Rick bites a huge chunk out of the leaders neck.

You take the opportunity to send your head back into the mans face and it sends him stumbling behind you , before picking up a large rock that was next to your foot. He looks from the rock to you “ And what do you think you’re going to do with that? “. He doesn’t think much of you, but his night would be sent to an end as you bashed his brains in with it. You let the rock drop as you finish your task, his blood covering your hands, but you don’t let it faze you as you turn to find Carl still in the grips of one of them. You’re ready to attack him, but your dad holds out a hand. He wasn’t able to kill your captive, but he would make sure to kill Carl’s. Michonne comes to your side as she holds you protectively, but you quickly rush to Carl when he’s free.

He runs to you on instinct and you accept him gladly as he’s trembling “ I’ve got you. You’re ok “. You can only rub his back and shield his face as your dad finishes off the man , the terror of the night truly at its peak. Michonne is quick to join you as you notice Daryls slumped form against your vehicle and Carl gives you the ok to go to him. You run to him and once you get to him, you’re searching him all over. Your hands come to his face, finding a forming black eye and a busted lip, but he doesn’t let you fret over it “ M’ ok”. Instead, he worries for you “ Did he hurt you ? “. He attempts to check you, but you just push his hands away and hug him to your frame.

He thinks briefly back to the time at the highway, but this was different. Men had tried to kill you. To take you away from him. You’re holding him like he’s a security blanket this time. He tries to hold you in return and give you the affection you need, but he couldn’t give you his all at the moment. “ I thought you were gone “ You whisper for only him to hear. You’re shaking against him and he realizes you must be crying, truly showing your love for him. And it’s in that moment he realizes he’s never told you he loves you. That you could’ve died without hearing those three words. “ Hey “ He whispers, bringing your teary eyes out from his shoulder. “ M’here now. S’ok “ He promises, but your lip is still trembling.

“ Don’t leave me again. Promise me. Promise me I’ll never have to live without you again “ You demand even if you sound like a child. He nods at you as he’s never seen you so panicked. “ Say it “ You demand again. He can’t believe how bad your shaking and he’d tell you anything to make you feel ok again. The fact that you were held by that man and were faced with a fear bigger than death, but you only cared to hear him promise you he’d never leave is all he needs to finally tell you. “ I’ll never leave you again” he promises grabbing your cheek so you’ll calm down “ I love you “. He expects you to be surprised as you always are when he shows you this type of love, but you just nod your head at him and lean your forehead against his “ I love you too “. There was no hesitation in you and it made this all worth it.

You don’t leave his side that night and eventually fall asleep on his chest, causing your dad to smile from Daryl’s side. Daryl looks him up and down for an answer, but Rick just shrugs “ Haven’t seen her sleep in days “. Daryl doesn’t respond to his friend, only rubs your back instead. “ She’s good with you, you know? I trust you with her life “ Rick continues making sure to acknowledge his approval. “ I almost got her killed “ Daryl objects, referring to the group of men he had been traveling with. Rick scoffs as if it’s complete lunacy “ Would you have been with them if you knew this was the outcome? Would you willingly put her or us in danger if you knew ?”. Daryl shakes his head no “ I didn’t know they were looking for you. They talked about some guy who killed one of theirs and I was just with them until.. “.

Rick throws his hand up as if this proves his point “ Exactly. Daryl I know you. She knows you. You’re not them “. Daryl has a hard time believing his words, but Rick grabs his shoulder to emphasize it “ You’re my brother, Daryl. I know you”. Daryl nods in return, agreeing with him. He then tosses his water bottle to Rick for him to clean the blood off of his face. “ We should save it “ He begins to disagree, but Daryl nods back to the car where Carl sleeps. “ They don’t need to see you like this “. Rick then splashes his face and tries to rid of the substance before you wake up and see him. After, he looks back to Daryl and bluntly asks “ You going to marry her ? “.

Daryl isn’t caught off guard by this question as he already felt that way with you, but it’s obvious Rick wanted him to make it official. “ If that’s what she wants “ He responds. Rick grabs his shoulder again “ I want to walk her down an aisle. She deserves that “.

—-

Terminus would then come and once again, you’d have to face being ripped from Daryl , but this time you fought. You fought hard. Now being reunited with your family and even some new faces, you slaughtered your way through the madness of the place. It would be a hard day, but you’d all make it through. And once outside the fences, you held Daryls hand proudly. Sure, now you had no plan and no where to go, but you had him. And that was enough. Carol eventually revealed herself to be your savior and everyone took her in a happy hug, but she would have a even bigger surprise for you.

She led you all to a small shed where Tyreese would reveal himself, holding little Judith. You couldn’t even believe your eyes. Carl and your dad told you she was gone— that walkers had gotten to her, but there she was. You rushed after her as did your dad and brother, but you were the first to hold her. She grins at you and automatically puts her hand on your mouth, but you don’t grant her wish as you have tears pouring down your face. Carl is right at your side as he grabs her foot, but you pass the baby to your dad as he truly needs to hold her at the moment. You couldn’t even imagine the pain of thinking you lost a child. You and Carl both happily cry over the baby as your dad extends his arm for the both of you. And this made the following days bearable.

You’d then find a priest in need of help , who’d invite you to his church and give you a safe place to rest your heads for the night. Everyone found their own places to rest as the sun began to set, but you sat outside where you could take a moment to catch your breath. Carl soon joined you, but he just leans on your shoulder instead of trying to make small talk. He seemed to always know when to talk and when to just sit in silence with you. Just like when you were younger. And whilst you thought he just wanted your company, really he was just keeping you busy whilst Daryl and Rick took advantage of the fact that there is a real live priest in their finger tips. And no, Daryl isn’t planning on some big event in the middle of a apocalypse, but he wanted to give you the chance to have your father walk you down the aisle.

It doesn’t take much persuading to get Gabriel to officiate the wedding, seeing as he was just about itching to redeem himself for reasons unknown to you all yet. Now all you had to do was say yes. Daryl began to walk to ask you the very question, but Rick stopped him by sliding something in his hand. Daryl looks to his hand where a small silver band is and he questions it. “ It was her moms, should fit her “ Rick explains, his eyes far away at the moment. Daryl just nods and continues to exit the church, but stops as your still sitting on the steps. You’re sitting with your brother, a tired expression on your face, but you seemed to have a small smile even with the fact that there’s barely any food or water.

Carl looks up as he notices, Daryl and gives him a nod before leaving your side. You watch your brother leave and don’t think too much of it as , Daryl takes his place. “ I was thinking we should go on a run “ You tell him. His eyes graze your neck where there’s small bruises from where that man had held you and you can tell he doesn’t like the idea. “ I’m not asking you for permission “ You smirk, pushing his shoulder slightly. He catches your hand and holds it in his own, smirking slightly his self “ Later “. You let him make that decision, but question it “ Got a hot date or something? We can go now before we loose the light “. Your choice of words is ironic. “ Mhmm “ Is all he replies with, making you narrow your eyes at him. He’s being vague and he knows your about to give him that look, but he just nods to the left “ C’mon “.

You follow him out to the empty field beside the church, holding his hand as he leads you to a non specific spot. You shiver as the wind blows for a moment, but look to Daryl as he’s obviously brought you out here for a reason. And his eyes are far away at the moment as if he’s thinking back to a different time , but he snaps back to reality “ I’ve got sum’ to give you “. He digs into his pocket , bringing the item out before placing it in your hand. Your eyebrows raise as you open your palm to find the silver band, noticing it’s your— was your mom’s. You can tell by the date initialed inside. And you can’t help, but think of all the times she’d play wedding with you and let you wear it as your dad would be your groom. He watches you blink away the tears and you look away from him “ Why are you giving me this? How did you find it? “.

You’re trying to fight the urge to cry as this band means more to you than your own life. “ I want you ta’ wear it “ He answers, so calm and steady in his words. You snap your head back to him , wanting to make sure you heard him right “ Wear it ? “. He nods, wiping the tears from your face “ Marry me “. You examine his face, your hair blowing in the breeze and those blue eyes questioning his actions “ You don’t have to do this. I told you , you’re all I need “. And that’s why he wanted to do this. You never asked him to be more than who he is or demand he change for you. His hands grab your shoulders “ I want this “. You close your palm on the ring and look up to his eyes “ Are you sure? “. He makes a humming noise to assure you before placing the ring on your finger his self.

Finally, a smile cracks on your face as you examine it on your ring finger. He doesn’t know how much having this ring means to you and for him to give it to you? It heals your heart a little more. It made you feel close to her. “ Then— yes, I’ll marry you “ you agree. And while you believe this all he has up his sleeve, you happily kiss him until your lungs demand air. You don’t miss the happy smile on his face, but you don’t have time to appreciate it as your dad and Carl make they’re presence known, little Judith already squealing for you. You turn , Daryl’s hands never leaving you, and you wonder how they seem to know what just happened. They have big smiles on their faces and you think they were watching, but when your dad hugs you and asks you “ You ready? “ you realize there’s been a whole lot of plotting behind this proposal.

“ Ready for what? “ You ask him, before turning back to Daryl who doesn’t give you the slightest hint.

——-

And that day, would be the best day you’ve had in years. Rick would walk you down the aisle and tell you how happy your mother would be right now, Carl would grin at you from Daryls side and mouth to you ‘ Loser ‘ , Judith would throw fake flowers that Gabriel had found, And Daryl would gladly say ‘ I do ‘ even though you can tell he gave Gabriel a weird look when he asked him to. The guy just rubs him the wrong way. But it was perfect. That night you’d both go out, finally taking the time to go on that run, but as soon as you two were out there and alone, you’d gladly push him against a car you found. “ I believe you owe your wife a wedding night, right? “ you’d whisper to him, already yanking his vest down his arms.

“ I believe I do “ he’d agree and kiss you hungrily. And you’d both laugh— finding the back seat of the car as good of a place as any . You felt like a teenager sneaking around again, but this time you were with the one you loved. He’d kiss you and leave marks down your chest with an “ I love you “. And you both spend the next hour showing each other how much. You’d tell him the same once it was over, smiling as you lay on his chest. His lips find your head and you’re enjoying him playing with your hair when you hear it. Daryl sits up automatically , looking out the window as a car drives by without a single thought of the two of you. And you’re relieved, but Daryl seems to recognize it. “ That’s the people who took, Beth ! “ He explains, shoving on his clothes. You do the same and climb to the passenger seat.

And if he knew how this would end, he wouldn’t have chased the car…

—-

The two of you ended back up in the streets of Atlanta, fighting not only walkers, but some guy who steals from you and then later needs you to save him. Daryl doesn’t want to save the kid after all he’s done, but you ignore his attitude and attempt to help the guy out from underneath the shelf. Though you’re not strong enough, and the walker gets through the door to end the poor guy, but Daryl finally steps in and sends a bolt into its decaying head. Once he’s safe, he reveals his name and at the sound of a car outside it’s found out that he knows where Beth is.

It turns out they were both being held in some hospital, and that would be your next destination, but first you’d all have to escape the building without them seeing you first. Your first to exit the building, seeing as Daryl needs to keep watch on Noah, and all too suddenly your hit with said car that you all were trying to escape. Daryl’s eyes go wide as you bounce off of the car and hit the pavement, your eyes shutting as soon as your head lands on the concrete. Instinctively, Daryl tries to run out to you, but Noah stops him. He’d explain that the hospital has a doctor and that this would be your only chance to survive something like that, but he couldn’t wrap his mind around watching you being taken.

Noah realizes who you must be to him and tries to walk Daryl through the next steps to save your life.

And this would include getting your father involved.

——

“ Tell me something, Y/N “ Your mom smiles at you as you help her peel the potatoes in hershels kitchen. You don’t look up from your task, but hum in response so she knows your listening. “ Do you remember, Jake ? “ She asks, causing your peeling to stop. “ Jake? The kid from around the corner “ You question, vaguely remembering the kid that use to pick on, Carl. She nods, popping a slice of cucumber in her mouth “ I’m surprised that’s all you remember about him. Seeing as you beat the poor guy so bad he had to get ten stitches in his head “. You grin to yourself as you think back to that day. You were walking down the street to retrieve the boy from his friends house, but it’s when you heard his cry that you began to run.

You’d find him surrounded by some of the neighborhood kids as they watched your brother getting kicked in the side repeatedly. Your eyes went wide and you pushed by the kids his age, only to push the teenager off of him. “ Y/N ! “ Carl yelled as you would proceed to climb on top of the guy, and lay punches into his smug face. Luckily, your dad would be pulling down the street in his patrol car and stop you before you could break his nose, but he’d end up with ten stitches anyways. Shane would grab Carl as your dad tried to make sense of the whole situation. Why would his sixteen year old daughter beat a guy only two years younger than her ? “ Next time I catch you around my brother, I will make you wish for sunlight you little shit! “ You’d scream from your fathers arms, the guy holding his head with a scowl on his face.

“ Watch your mouth! “ He’d hiss down at you, but you’d just glare up at him. “ Where were you ?! Both of you ?! “ You’d yell at both of the officers, as your brother has blood dripping from his nose.

You grab a slice of cucumber yourself and wonder why she’s bringing it up “ I felt like I had to be his protector , you know? That morning he’d heard the two of you arguing. Just like you had the past weeks and I felt like seeing him getting hurt more— I wanted to stop it “. Lori nods at you, the statement causing guilt to cover her face, but she goes back to the reason she’s bringing it all up “ Daryl looks at you the same way. Like he’s your protector “. Your lips purse and you find yourself thinking back to the hunter, but your mom continues “ You’re different around him “. You’re about to slam her with an argument as you believe she’s criticizing you, but she holds her finger up at you “ Don’t you look at me like that. You look just like your dad “.

You let the urge drop as told, but would defend Daryl if she dared to say anything bad. “ I didn’t mean anything bad by it— I think you’re happy with him. And I like that he takes care of you. One day, I won’t be able to and it gives me peace that you’ll be ok”. What was she talking about? “ Don’t say things like that “ You mumble, not liking the turn this conversation has taken, but she suddenly grabs your hand so you grasp the reality of her words.

“ Fact is, Y/N. One day, I’ll be gone. Your dad will be gone. And in this world that can happen so quickly. I know you’ll take care of your brother, but I need to know someone will take care of you. So, be good to him. Don’t ever doubt him— not even when all the odds are stacked against it “ She advises you, her face full of regret like she had failed her own advice.

Beth watches you stir in your sleep and holds your hand, hoping you can feel her near you. You looked so different from the last time she saw you , hair longer and bruises littering your skin now, but it makes her smile to see the wedding band on your finger. Daryl must’ve found you. She had been right. “ I don’t know if you can hear me, Y/N, but I just want you to know I’m not going to let them hurt you. And that I’m here “ She tells you, just in time for Dawn’s footsteps to echo in the hallway. Beth would then scurry to the floor and pretend to have no interest in you, but Dawn always seemed to see right through her.

“ You knew her, didn’t you? “ She asked, sitting next to you on your bed. Beth kept a straight face, not to let anything slip, but it seemed to answer her question. “ She looks strong, we can use her. What was she good at ? “. The question reminds her of the fact that you had once told her that you were going through the academy before all of this, but there was no way she’d give that information to Dawn. Your fate would be sealed. Luckily, for both of you the next day would bring your salvation. And you’d never forget that moment. Beth would push you in the wheelchair towards your family, causing relief to show on their faces, and you’d grip her hand to warn her to be careful. You couldn’t protect her in your state and you could feel the anger radiating off of the girl.

She squeezes back, but your attention then falls on Daryl. He’s watching your movements like a hawk as , Rick and Dawn discuss how this will go down. This could end very badly and he knows you can’t even get up to defend yourself, but you try and smile for him. “ One of mine, for one of yours “ Is declared, and it’s decided you’d go first. Beth rolls you as far as she can before it’s taken over by someone you don’t know the name of, but it’s short lived before your lifted from the chair by your dad. He gives you a relived look before passing you to, Daryl and you have to lean on him to keep from falling.

And just as it’s Beth turn, Dawn announces she wants Noah too, causing Beth to shove a pair of surgical scissors into her chest.

And on reflex, Dawn sends a bullet into the girls brain.

——

After Beth’s death, it seemed like all you could do was loose. Starting with Bob, then Beth, and then Tyreese. It was killing the group slowly and it didn’t help that there was no food or water in sight. But you’d all push through, you had no other choice. You’d been through too much to die now. And when you all stash away in the first barn you see, the message couldn’t be more clear. You take the time to sit in the hay and shut your eyes for just a moment only to have your small moment interrupted by Maggie. She plops beside you and you offer her a squeeze to her shoulder, telling her in no certain words that you’re here for her. She tries to give you a smile, but you know it’s hard for her right now. “ You look awful “ You joke, eyeing the dirt on her face. You seem to always know what to say to her and she retorts “ Oh yeah? Have you looked in the mirror lately ? “.

You don’t have to look to know you look weeks past a shower “ I know, it’s hard to be this hot “. This earns a genuine laugh from Maggie and you catch Glenn’s thankful nod from the corner of your eyes. You return the gesture as Glenn talks to your husband. “ So hows married life treating you? “ Maggie tried to keep the conversation going seeing as it’s better than thinking about how empty her stomach is. You eye your wedding ring and let a tired smile stretch across your lips “ Well, I spent my ‘ honeymoon’ getting hit by a car and I’m pretty sure I have a permanent bruise on my ass, but between you and me ? I wouldn’t change a thing “. As if Daryl knows you’re talking about him, he looks over his shoulder to check on you. He watches you chat with Maggie and attempt to keep her in a good mood even though you’re fighting to keep your eyes open. He admires your strength, especially in the coming days.

You’d limp your ass from that point on with a smile and still find the strength to tote Judith, but even you have your limits. And thankfully, just as your about to pass out from borderline exhaustion, Aaron reveals himself to the group with promises of salvation. And god help Daryl when he saw the way you held Judith when you felt the urge to protect her from the strange man. To a strangers eye, you looked like a mom protecting her small child. And in a sense you are Judiths mom. But, Alexandria proved to be true and little by little he saw you begin to relax. Daryl didn’t really feel the same way, but didn’t turn you down when you suggested he shower with you. You took his hand and lead him through the house everyone was hold up in still, earning a grin from michonne. “ I think everyone is asleep by now “ You tell him, locking the bathroom door behind you. You can tell he’s still on edge about this whole place and you don’t blame him, but you just wanted time to be with him without any of the outside world on his mind.

“ Hey “ You smile and place your hands on his waist. He offers a small smile back “ Hey”. There’s a small moment where you two just enjoy looking at each other while the water heats up and in the silence you could see a life for the two of you here. One where Judith could grow up, where Carl could sleep with both eyes closed, and where death wasn’t something you all had to be afraid of. And of course that was a life Daryl wanted to give you, but he couldn’t be sure this was where it was going to happen. “ Come on, join your wife in the shower and lets pretend my dads not in the other room “ You let out a smirk, ridding yourself of your clothes. He follows in suit before he watches you bask in the hot water with a peaceful smile. He wonders how you’re just so sure about this place, but joins you instead of asking. You hum in content as he wraps a arm around your frame and his eyes trace down the wet curls that cling to your back “ This place is going to be good for us “. Daryls eyes narrow at the back of your head “ Whys tha’ ? “.

“ It Just has to be “ You simply put. His free hand moves your hair to the side of your neck and he softly rubs your shoulder “ If it’s not? “. And like the grimes you are you reply “ I’ll make it “. You’re dead set on this being a home for those kids, but he doesn’t realize that it’s for you too. You lean your head back onto his chest and reveal those blue eyes of yours “ I know you’re skeptical and I don’t blame you, but I want this to work. I need this to work “. Just by the look on your face, Daryl knew he had to make sure this worked. Your face then twists the way it does when you’re thinking about something too hard and Daryls beginning to question the real reason you need this to place to work. “ I have to tell you something “ You sigh, turning in his arms so that you’re facing him. Whatever you have to tell him doesn’t seem to upset you much which gives Daryl a sense of relief, but when you cup his face in your hand he knows you’re trying to soften the blow.

He knows you well enough to know your tactics. “ Spit it out “ He urges you, causing you to smile softly. “ Ok.. ok, but just promise me you won’t freak out “. He gives you no such promise, but you expect as much “ You remember about six weeks ago when we got stuck in that wine cellar ? “. His eyebrows knit in confusion, of course he remembers. He can’t exactly forget the sight of you on top of him with a wine bottle in your hands. “ Yeah ? “ He questions you, trying to figure out what you’re trying to spell out for him. There’s flashes in his memory of your laughter and moans, but what did that have to do with anything? “ Well— uhm “ You didn’t know exactly how to tell him. You’ve never had to do this before, but this is what you get for thinking just one time without protection wouldn’t catch up with you. “ Y/N “ He gives you a impatient look. “ You’re going to be a dad “.

Everything clicks together in the hunters mind and he realizes why you’ve been trying so hard to stay positive. His eyes search your face before dropping to your stomach and then back to your face again “ Are you sure? “. He watches you nod “ Took three tests. I’m sure “. He tries to think when you disappeared to take a test, but it’s not what he needs to be concerned about at the moment. He watches you drawl your bottom lip between your teeth and it’s a rare sight to see you nervous. He vaguely thinks back to the prison when Carl thought you were pregnant and could only imagine how happy the kid would be now to be a uncle. “ Daryl? “ You bring from his thoughts, obviously wanting some type of reaction.

But he can’t find the words just yet. All he can see is that girl you were on top of the RV. The one who drew him in and could have any guy she wanted, but choose to love him. He doesn’t know how he got lucky enough to marry you let alone be the father of your children. “ You want this right? “ He finally asks. You’re now the confused one “ Of course I do. Loving you is the best thing I’ve ever done and this baby is a result of that. How could I not? “. There’s no mistaking the small smile that appears on his lips after hearing those words and you let a relieved smile of your own come through as he leans his head down on yours “ I love you “.

“ I love you “ You repeat before your lips reach his and the next moments are spent blissfully in the same fashion that created your child.

—-

You waited some time before announcing the news to your family, but after everyone adjusted to this new life you decided it was time. It’s not like people weren’t guessing it by now since Daryl pulled out a whole other level of protection on you. If you moved, he moved. And when Spencer had the nerve to hit on you, it took all of two seconds before Daryl put him on his ass. Alerting everyone that something had to be up. So, you gathered your loved ones around after dinner one night and held Judith happily on one hip “ I’ve actually got some news for you all “. This catches everyone’s attention and you smile back at Daryl who has a hand on your hip “ We actually have some news “. Your dad looks you up and down before setting his glass down, a curious smile on his face.

You have the feeling he already knows just from that look, but you say it aloud anyways “ We’re having a baby “. Smiles spread through the room, but it’s Carl who speaks first “ Really?!”. You nod at your little brother who wasn’t that little anymore and he excitedly rushes to hug you. He’s almost eye level with you, but you can still sit your head on his own “ It’s about time! “. This earns a laugh from your husband and your loved ones line up to congratulate you both. Your dad is next to hug you and you can see the tears in his eyes “ Oh dad “. He gives you a sappy smile before pulling you into his larger frame “ I wish your mom could see this “. You cling to his shirt as it brings tears to your own eyes, but you hold them in. This was supposed to be a happy moment.

“ You’re going to be a grand pa “ You laugh lightly into his shirt at the sound. Grandpaw Rick sounds so silly. Especially since you saw him bite some guys neck out. He reluctantly pulls away to laugh at the name, his eyes flickering to Daryl’s “ You two are making me feel old “. He then proceeds to hug Daryl as well and you couldn’t deny how right this all felt. Michonne is the next one to hold you and place a hand on your stomach even though there’s no bump there yet “ I was wondering when you were going to say something “. Maggie joins at your side and the three of you begin to talk about baby names as the guys seem to congratulate the father. But all Daryl could do is nod as they did, his actual attention on you as he watched you bounce Judith on your hip whilst you seem to glow at the idea of baby names. He never thought this would be his life. A girl like you was never supposed to fall for him and give him a family.

No one ever stayed long enough to show him he deserved a night like this. Only you did. You pushed past all of his walls and all of his defenses to bring him to this very moment. And Daryl was never one to believe in fate or soulmates, but as you stood there and managed to feel his eyes on you and give him a smile, he knew that he was wrong. It was typical of you to prove him wrong though so he shouldn’t be surprised. It was the Grimes in you.

But if he thought you were special and the most hard headed grimes he ever met, he had another thing coming when you’re daughter was born…

[collecting-stories]

Kid - Carl Grimes

This isn’t based on any request. Just based on the idea that Carl has a crush on a girl in the group who is a little older than him and he desperately wants her to take him seriously. 

Kid - Carl Grimes x reader

It was increasingly harder to tell time these days. Weeks, months, years passed and all you could really do was guess. Was it Wednesday, had the New Year started, was Ryan Seacrest still alive? Not all important questions but they served enough to keep you occupied. Things in your hometown had gone mad when the epidemic first started. Whenever that was. You had to be at least eighteen now right? Maybe nineteen? Who was to say. The last birthday you remembered was spent with a very special trip to Nashville, to see a Taylor Swift concert. Was she still alive?

Your mom had surprised you with tickets two days before your actual birthday and you’d been so excited you had cried and then you cried again watching Taylor on stage. To be fair you were turning 14 and it was a very emotional time for you. A week later and the dead were walking and your mom was evacuating the house.  

And then somehow, through means that you glossed over whenever asked about, you ended up in Georgia, in a prison with a group of survivors that quickly became your family. Taylor Swift and birthdays and your mom and time were all part of some old world, one you couldn’t return to. And while all the other parts of life that you didn’t like were also gone you still missed sleepovers with best friends and ‘girl’s nights’ with your mom. Being at the prison was okay, and while it wasn’t teeming with kids your age there were a few. Beth was nice enough and Patrick was funny albeit a little more naive than anyone else living in the post-apocalypse.  

And then there was Carl.  

Despite what others had lost you and Carl gravitated towards each other, kindred spirits as Michonne had said, comforted by the knowledge that neither of you were alone in losing a mother. And that both of you had experienced the trauma of having to be responsible for your mother’s death. Carl had shot Lori in the head before she could turn, overshadowing the joy of his sister’s birth with the death of his mom. You had killed your mother right after you crossed the state line. You knew because looming above you was a sign that said ‘Welcome to Georgia’. A small herd of walkers had come out of the woods and when you tried to get away one of them grabbed your mother. Unlike Carl, you didn’t shoot your mother in the head. You shot her arm to loosen her grip when she wouldn’t let you go and then you ran, listening to the sounds of her screaming while she was being eaten alive.  

“This life is all about hard choices.” Rick had offered when he and Daryl had found you on the road. They asked their three questions and you told them what had happened.  

“She was bitten, I would’ve died if she didn’t let go. I didn’t want to die.” You didn’t cry as you relayed the story. The girl who cried at stupid teen movies and pop songs had stopped existing while you were still in Tennessee. This girl didn’t cry at anything.  

After the prison you found your way to Glenn and Tara and eventually back with the whole group. The only kids who survived, made even more blatant by Beth dying in Atlanta, you and Carl seemed to draw closer to each other. The three years between the two of you had never really mattered, even at the prison and especially now as you travelled toward D.C. Eugene made a lot of claims, most of them untrue, but all of you were hoping that this would be the last time you had to pick up and leave.  

Though things hadn’t been smooth in Alexandria when you first arrived, and trouble seemed to follow your group the way it did all those old school tv detectives, you still managed to settle into a life here. There were more kids but you had somehow graduated from that moniker. You started hanging around Rosita and Tara more, helping Carol with Judith, watching the wall with Sasha or Daryl. And Carl, who was still more skilled than you by your own admission, was expected to fit in with the kids there. Ron and Enid and the others.  

“They don’t do anything, it’s like...they’re living in a bubble.” Carl had complained after the first couple nights there.  

“That’s cause they are.” You laughed.  

The two of you were sitting up in his room, trying to manage a game of war while Judith napped in her pack’n’play. It was the only card game either of you could remember and Carl mentioned that his mom had taught him how to play.

“Yeah but, I’m not. I don’t wanna sit around and play video games and pretend that doesn’t exist. They’ve never even been outside the walls, except Enid. I don’t get why she wastes her time with them.” Carl grumbled. For thinking he was above being a teenager he sounded an awful lot like one.

“Sounds like xbox isn’t the problem.” You laughed, glancing up from your cards to look at him.  

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you’re jealous.”

“I am not.”

“Come on kid, you totally are so. Remember when Beth dated...whatshisname? You were so moody. This is literally the same thing.” You replied, “Is Enid cute?”

“I’m not jealous and don’t call me kid.” He pulled away when you leaned over to ruffle his hair. “Would you stop it!”

“Okay, okay.”  

“I’m not jealous.” He huffed, catching the look on your face.  

While Carl’s attention was seemingly focused on Enid you were trying to prove yourself to his father, doing whatever you could to help both inside the walls and out. You weren’t sixteen like the other kids in Alexandria, you were old enough to help, to be given responsibilities. You had been out there and survived and that gave you a sort of authority in a place with most people, even the adults, had never ventured outside the walls. With you helping and Carl off running around the woods with Enid it was only natural that the two of you drifted apart. Gone were the days of confiding in each other. There were no more late-night stops into the other’s room to talk or just sit together. No doing chores with each other like you used to at the prison.  

You didn’t really spend time together again until the aftermath of the herd and the wolves. While Alexandria tried to repair it’s broken parts you offered to help Rick look after Judith, take responsibility away from Carl so that he could heal.  

“Come on, there are literal dead people walking the earth Carl, I think we’re passed high school bullshit. No one is gonna treat you different just cause you’re missing an eye.” You pointed out as you sat in the infirmary with him, changing the bandage on his eye.  

Carl was holding his fringe out of the way so you could see his face clearly as you applied ointment around the wound. Your face was close to his and he was studying you as you worked. Noting any small imperfections in your skin. It might be the apocalypse but that didn’t mean you weren’t victim to acne and there was a small rash of a breakout on your jaw that Carl thought was kind of adorable. Even though you were probably annoyed with it. “You don’t know that.”  

“If anything they probably think you’re like super cool.” You replied.  

“No one thinks that.”

“Wrong again, I definitely think that. I’m sure Enid does too kid.”

“Whatever.” Carl rolled his eyes. Enid was alright and he liked hanging out with her, if only because she had been outside the walls too. But she wasn’t you. All Carl wanted was to get your attention and it seemed like every time he did it backfired on him. You were oblivious to him, no matter how hard he tried to get you to notice. Instead you thought he was interested in Enid and egged him on about her constantly.  

He tried in the weeks that passed to get your attention. Rick started to trust him more and more with things around the safe zone. But still he felt like he couldn’t get your attention. And when he could it never changed. That annoying moniker of ‘kid’ that you adopted at the prison stuck every time you said anything to him. The tag at the end of a sentence that he wished he could cut off. It didn’t seem like there was a way to change your perspective until he stowed away on one of Negan’s trucks.  

You were at the house with Judith when he was delivered back to the compound. The moment you saw him in the front yard you ran outside, leaving the youngest Grimes in her pack’n’play. The force of you throwing your arms around him as you collided with him sent him stumbling back a step, holding your waist in shock. He had finally surpassed you in height over the summer and had a good two inches on you so he leaned his head down to press his forehead against your shoulder while you held the back of his head with one hand.

“Carl.” Rick called his son’s name and the two of you broke away from each other.  

You didn’t see him again until later that night when you went up to his room, a deck of cards in your hands though you had no intention of playing.  

“Hey, can I come in?” You asked, leaning against the open door frame.

Carl nodded.  

“You scared the shit outta me today Carl...I thought you for sure...” Your voice cracked and you paused to stop yourself from crying, “just cause you haven’t died yet doesn’t mean you can’t. You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Hey, I don’t need you to lecture me too.” Carl replied, taking your admission of fear as scolding. “I’m sick of sitting here doing nothing. They killed Glenn and Abraham, they have Daryl! And we’re just giving them whatever they want.”

“Your dad knows what he’s doing.” You said, coming into the room and closing the door behind you so no one would hear you.  

“Oh yeah, Rick Grimes is so amazing. He knows exactly what to do all the time.” He replied sarcastically, glaring at you.

“I mean, Carl Grimes is pretty amazing too.” You joked, taking a seat on the bed.  

“I just wanted to do something.”

“I know. I was just...I was so scared Carl. We’ve lost so many people.”

“What’s another name on the wall?”  

“Hey! I made it this far because of you. Yeah, Rick and Daryl found me on the road but that would never have mattered if you hadn’t been at the prison. I survived because I had you.” You replied honestly, “you’re not just a name on a wall Carl...to anyone, Michonne, Carol, your dad, me especially.”

Carl leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours suddenly. Your eyes widened and just soon as he had kissed you he was pulling away, his own eyes wide as he stared at you in shock. “I should,” he stood up and rubbed his hands against his jeans anxiously before going to the door and opening it. “I should get some rest. Goodnight.”  

You nodded, your mind foggy as you stood up and walked to the door. You stopped in the doorway and Carl looked away, trying not to meet your eyes as you stood across from him. “Goodnight Carl.” You lean forward and kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

When he closes his door he realizes that for the first time in a long time you didn’t call him ‘kid’. And he can’t keep the smile off his face as he shuts his door and flops back down on the bed.  

_

I adore Carl and am still bitter over his death. He’s a gem and I’ll fight anyone who says he’s a bratty kid. (that's my bratty kid thank you very much). 

taglist: @thinkingsofamadwoman @mixedwiththemoon @titty-teetee  @queenmissfit @marvelismylifffe @iluvmesomemarvelndc @absentmindeduniverse @his-paradox @gigilame @sabertooth-potato @enrapturedbythemoon 

[whateverisbeautiful]

Reveling in Richonne

#108: The Best Friend (8x09)

Y’all...

I have to collect myself lol, because this moment right here was my absolute favorite.

Before the relationship between Rick and Michonne captured my heart, there was another bond that I adored right from the jump. And that’s the precious friendship between Carl and Michonne.

And for Carl and Michonne to have this whole personal moment for themselves in his final episode is every last thing. And it sounds like we owe a lot of that to Danai after seeing this...

She is a wise woman, y’all.👏🏽👏🏽👏

So when we cut back it’s officially just Rick, Michonne, and Carl in the tunnel. And I’m glad they gave the three of them the rest of this episode to have just with each other, as Rick and Michonne are the two who were closest to and who invested the most in Carl.

Plus focusing on these three over the years have given us some of the best episodes and scenes of the entire series, so they deserved to have these final moments together.

We see R&M taking care of Carl and being the loving parents they’ve always been to him. It’s clear they want this whole experience to be as comfortable for Carl as possible.

It’s cool cuz in season 3, Carl told Rick that Michonne could be one of them and here in this tunnel it’s just crystal clear how true that is cuz there’s no doubt that the three of them (+ Judith) are the Grimes family. 😊

Michonne notices Carl looking up at her, which I notice he does a lot in this episode. I appreciate that cuz you can tell he finds comfort in having Michonne right there with him.

She asks him if he’s okay and he tells her, “I don’t want you to be sad after this.” It’s heartbreaking to see how aware Carl is of his passing and the impact it’ll have on his family. And it’s hard hearing him address the fact that there’s going to be an “after this” without him.

Michonne responds saying Carl’s name in a way that implies she doesn’t want Carl to have to worry about her right now, and yet Michonne and Rick and how they move forward are the main things on Carl’s mind, which I love cuz his sole concern is for others at the end of his life.

He goes on to say, “Or angry. You’re gonna have to be strong for my dad. For Judith.”

First of all; 😭😭  Michonne is the matriarch and Carl knows it, y’all. 😌

(Side note: I notice how there oddly tends to be an erasure of Michonne in most audience discussions of this show. Like some really just completely overlook her character or only see and admire her as the marketable sword-wielding warrior which is so strange to me because she has a much larger role than that. (Although I low key have a feeling I know exactly why the dismissal of this character happens)

But, again not even from a Michonne fan perspective, but just in a general and contextual sense, Michonne is literally the character who’s closest to both the protagonist and his son, (even before Richonne became a thing). And yet she’s not always seen or talked about that way.

But what I love is that even if others don’t see her immense importance beyond “cool warrior woman”, Rick and Carl sure do.

And they express the closeness in which they see and value her often. It’s lines like this one from Carl, that really showcase how much he sees Michonne’s significance and influence on his whole family and how, to them, she is absolutely an instrumental part of their family unit.)

Carl has seen firsthand how his dad can get when a super personal loss occurs and I’m sure he knows if there’s one person who can get him through it’s Michonne. 😊

Of course it’s important that the show not forget that Michonne could need someone to be strong for her too and acknowledge that she’s going to be in the type of pain where she also will need a shoulder to lean on, but that being said, I really do appreciate Carl’s awareness of how much Rick is going to need her.

Again, this is Carl emphasizing both the mother/daughter relationship Michonne has developed with Judith as well as how much he understands it’s crucial for Rick and Michonne to go through this together and stick together after this.

To sum it up, I really appreciate that Carl’s aware of what an important role Michonne has in their lives and will continue to have in his dad and sister’s life.

He also says, “And for yourself.” I love that he includes that last part because it’s Carl acknowledging that he understands it’s not just Rick and Judith who will be affected after this, Michonne will be too.

And since season three Carl has had countless times to see the strength and resilience Michonne has, and so I think that’s why he really wants to stress this with her cuz he knows that she’s the one most capable of rising above the pain to keep fighting for this family and holding them together. It’s deep to see Carl entrust this to Michonne.

And another reason this moment is super deep is because when Lori died she expressed a similar wish for Carl to look after Rick and Judith.

And now Carl is passing that same wish on to Michonne because he sees her as family and as key to their family making it through. 👌🏽

Michonne looks over at Rick and seeing Rick look directly at Michonne you can see how much Rick co-signs Carl’s words. Like again, you just see how human Rick is and how much he too is aware of his need for her.

I love that Rick’s already looking at her when she looks over to him. This has to be pretty moving for Rick to watch on as his son expresses how important Michonne is to him and his family, and it just reiterates why Rick’s got the best one, y’all.

And in this whole exchange it’s like Rick is the third wheel almost, but that’s nothing new. 😋 I think it’s a happy norm for him at this point.

So then she looks back at Carl and says with conviction “I will.”

I love that she gives him that promise that she will continue to be a rock for their family. And I also am glad that Michonne receives this verbal confirmation of her influence and value in this family.

Carl then tells her, “Don’t carry this. Not this part.”

And y’all this feels so significant cuz just like he’s seen Michonne’s strength and resilience, he was also one of the first to really get to see her humanity and vulnerability.

And I appreciate this line cuz I feel like it’s him acknowledging one of the more personal moments Carl and Michonne shared which is in the season 4 finale when she told him about the way she became after losing Andre.

She carried that guilt over losing her first son and allowed it to make her shut down. So Carl is thinking of her and her well-being and letting her know he doesn’t want her to feel guilty about this.

It illustrates how well he’s come to know her but even more so it shows that he knows that their relationship has become so close that she could have a similar reaction to the way she became over Andre. They’re a mom and son, y’all.

But they’re also something else, which gets preciously confirmed in this next part. 🙌🏾

Cuz next, Carl smiles as he looks at Michonne, and I feel like in that moment you can just see every happy memory he’s had with her flash through his mind.

I feel like that’s why he had said “not this part” cuz there’s so many good memories between them to hold on to. But as he smiles you also see him be emotional cuz he’s aware that he’s about to be separated from the person he became closest to in this apocalypse.

So he warms my heart and breaks it too when he tells her with such sincerity “You’re my best friend, Michonne.” 😭🙌🏾😭🙌🏾😭

Y’all can I break down all the reasons I adore this? There’s a lot of reasons lol.

One; Like many of you, I had been saying for the longest that Carl and Michonne have the best friendship on this show. So to see them verbally acknowledge that they became best friends is awesome. 👏🏽👏🏽

It is such a fitting thing for him to say because, when you think about all the precious moments Carl and Michonne have had, we really did get to watch their journey of becoming best friends.

Two; I love that Carl got to tell her this in person, because I’d bet money that he told her in his letter to her but knowing he got to look at her and let her know with so much sincerity that she’s so special to him and his closest friend is wonderful. 😊

Three; Again, like many of you, I had hopes before this episode that Carl would address the way in which Michonne became a mom to him. And, don’t get me wrong, I def would’ve loved that and just been over the moon about it...But I honestly feel like Carl telling Michonne she’s his best friend is even better because a best friend is like the family that you choose. 👌🏽

And Carl is a teen and, at that age especially, the best friend role is pretty coveted. Like for most, that role isn’t taken lightly. So for him to feel as though his relationship with Michonne wasn’t just that of a maternal figure or older authority figure, but one of his best friend is deep. Carl and Michonne absolutely developed a mom and son dynamic, but what made their bond so special is that they were best friends too.

Four; It could have been easy for Michonne and Carl’s relationship to change when Michonne’s romantic relationship with Rick became official. And yet, clearly Carl still felt like he never lost his best friend in all this, if anything Carl was all for R&M’s union lol, which I appreciate.

Five; Another huge reason why I love this is because it took me right back to that moment between Rick and Michonne in season 4. It’s the moment where Rick and Michonne are in the kitchen after Rick hears how happy Carl is since Michonne reunited with them.

And Rick tells Michonne “I can’t be his father and his best friend. He needs you.”

And y’all, four seasons later here Carl is acknowledging how Michonne truly stepped up to the plate and became Carl’s best friend. 😭

Six; Them having this exchange, and just how sincere and heartfelt it was, really made me reflect on how much Carl and Michonne brought out the best in each other and how they gave each other joy in a world where that was supposed to be impossible.

Michonne didn’t treat Carl like he was just some kid, and Carl began to treat Michonne like she was more than just a lone wolf fighter. They saw each other for more than the surface and like Michonne said in season 4 they brought each other back. It doesn’t get more best friends than that.

And then Michonne’s initial reaction to hearing Carl say this, is so heartbreakingly beautiful.

After Carl lets Michonne know she’s his best friend, you can tell that means the world to Michonne. It’s emotional as she smiles and tells him “You’re mine too.” Perfection. 😊

And then what I really love is she says, “You’re mine” a second time and that second reiteration feels even deeper than just repeating he’s her best friend.

That second “You’re mine” completely felt like her telling him she’s embraced him as her own child. He’s her son. He’s hers. It’s everything. 😭

And then she kisses his hand and I adore the closeness as well as the lightheartedness of this. It totally encapsulates their relationship.

This whole best friends scene was the moment that got me, y’all. Like everything prior was making me internally emotional but when they said those lines, that just opened the floodgates and I was legit like...

They completely hit my heart with this scene and I’m not even mad at it tho, because Carl and Michonne deserved a beautiful and heartfelt moment like this even if it broke me to know it would all be coming to an end.

So then the remaining light in the sewer goes off and Rick reaches for Michonne and I love that, even in a wordless gesture like that, they’re still able to display the loving relationship they have.

He tells her, “I need your help.” Which will always and forever be the gospel truth. Here for it lol.

Michonne asks with what and Rick says “Getting him out of here” which I’m glad they were going to move him so Carl wouldn’t have to spend his last moments in a sewer.

It’s fitting for Rick to ask Michonne for help in regards to wanting something better for Carl, cuz that’s how it’s been for the longest. And she nods, agreeing that it’s important Carl spend his last moments somewhere else. 👌🏽😌

This show has always been at it’s best when it focuses on the relationships, and as much as we see the characters grow as survivors and fighters, it’s great when we see them also grow as people and friends.

Carl and Michonne went from being two strangers who met at a really low point in both their lives. Carl just lost his mom and his dad was losing it, and Michonne lost her family and then was let down by Andrea, her one friend, in Woodbury.

But in finding each other, Carl and Michonne really did find themselves and it was great to watch their friendship start as this little seed and then really grow and blossom into such an authentic friendship.

I’m glad that the bond they formed was really emphasized in this epiosde because, in my eyes, Carl and Michonne truly did have the best friendship in the series. ☺️👌🏽

[shimmershaewrites]

Waltzing's for Dreamers, Chapter 19 (a Walking Dead story, Caryl AU).

Title:  Waltzing's for Dreamers

Rating:  G. 

Warnings:  a little angst, I guess. 

Characters/Pairings:  Carol Peletier, Michonne, mentions of Sophia Peletier, Andre, Lori Grimes, Rick Grimes, Andrea Harrison, Mike, past Carol/Daryl, past Carol/Ed. 

  Waltzing’s for Dreamers

     Four years or so after Vegas. 

      “Sweet dreams, Peanut.  Mama loves you.” 

  Michonne’s voice crackles over the baby monitor on the coffee table and Carol smiles to herself.  Thinks of her own precious babies snuggled up and sleeping just down the hall in the guest bedroom.  Sophia no doubt dreaming about the playful sea otters she’d fallen in love with during their trip to the Georgia Aquarium earlier that day.  And her little man?  Well, he’d seemed to be particularly enamored with the dapper little penguins and their waddling walk across the Atrium, by turns giggling uproariously and watching intently.   So quietly focused in those moments, so very much like his daddy, it took her breath away.  Still did, several hours removed.  Nothing else had quite measured up.  Not even the dolphins.    

  “No need to get emotional about it.” 

  Carol arches a brow in response to her friend’s efforts to tease the wistfulness from her smile.   

  Moving across the room to join her on the sofa, Michonne tucks her kimono robe around her knees and plucks the unopened pint of Chunky Monkey from Carol’s proffered hand.  Digs in without preamble and mumbles around her spoon, “Seriously.  There’s more where that came from.  Fridge is fully stocked with enough Phish Food for the entire weekend.” 

  “Careful,” Carol warns.  “You keep feeding my chocolate addiction so generously and I might just stay forever.” 

  “Maybe that’s the whole point,” Michonne tells her with a sly wink.

  Mostly, she’s joking.  But Carol knows her friend.  She knows she’d extend the offer in all seriousness if she felt it’d help.  Lori and Andrea would, too.  If she let them.  “I don’t know,” she hedges.  “I think we would definitely cramp King Leo’s style.”  Hearing his name fall from her lips, the regal cat in question twitches his ears but otherwise makes no move to abandon his lofty window ledge perch fluttering his fluffy ginger tail lazily and chirping occasionally at the late evening traffic and making them both laugh. 

  Several minutes later, when they’ve settled into a companionable silence and the promised rain has started to patter against the windows, the mood turns serious again with a seemingly innocuous statement from Michonne.  “It makes sense now.” 

  When she leans forward and sets the empty pint of ice cream on one of the coasters that litter the coffee table, Carol follows her example.  Twisting in place and tugging a blanket over both of their laps, biting her lip uncertainly.  “What’s that?” 

  “The part of you that just can’t write off Daryl completely.  Or even Ed,” Michonne is quick to add. 

  Carol falters.  “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

  “Mike and I?  We were all wrong for each other from the word go.  A mistake.  But without him?  I wouldn’t have Andre.  So I guess you could say that makes him my favorite mistake.”

  She’s struck dumb for a moment, having Daryl come up in conversation so casually tonight.  After more than a year of people seeming to tiptoe around his name.  The mention of Ed doesn’t bother her, although he’s certainly re-upped the nuisance factor recently.  Trying to slither back in her good graces with sweet talk that doesn’t suit him in the least.  No.  But the mention of Daryl?  God.  It aches something awful.  Not that she dares let on to Michonne.  Not when she’s spent so much time and effort trying to convince her and Andrea, Lori and Rick and the rest of her friends that she’s okay.  Gently, she tries to shift the focus of both of their thoughts.  “I’ve missed this.” 

  “Being single and miserable?”  Michonne deadpans.  “Me, too.” 

  Rolling her eyes, Carol gives the overly introspective new mother’s shoulder a half-hearted little shove.  “Stop.  We’re not miserable.  We’re…” 

  “Trying, right?  Faking it until we make it?” 

  “We are making it,” she murmurs.  Maybe not the way either of them had envisioned but it’s true.  Independent of any significant others and it’s brought them closer than they’ve ever been.  In a way, she’s grateful.  Because she and Lori?  They’ve been friends as far back as she can remember.  She and Andrea almost as long and a part of her needed that distance, that relatively impartial perspective, but there’s a bigger part of her that welcomes having another close confidante that understands, in even the smallest of ways.  At least Michonne had been smart enough not to lose her heart to the deadbeat that left her before the ink was even dry on Andre’s birth certificate, her affections already spoken for whether she will ever openly admit to it or not.  Carol herself wasn’t so lucky.  Isn’t so lucky.  Still.  “Minute by minute.  Hour by hour.” 

  “Day by day?”

  “Day by day,” Carol confirms.   

  “Day by day,” Michonne echoes.

  After a beat, she sighs.  Half-laughs.  “A whole weekend’s worth?  Really?”  Her friend gives her that beautiful, beaming smile of hers.  Warm and bright with understanding.  Patting her on the knee, she stands. 

  “Share?”

  She nods.  Welcomes King Leo when he leaps from his window sill throne and claims her lap as his new domain.  Sinks the fingers of one hand into his soft, thick fur when he starts to purr and reaches for the television remote with the other.  “Movie?”

   “Netflix.” 

[carolina-bleus]

Tuesday

Rick pulled the covers over his head to block out the blinding light. “Could you please turn that light off? It’s too bright. And who is playing Garth Brooks so loud this early in the morning?”

“Let me take that one issue at a time. First, that ‘light’ is the sun’s rays streaming through the window. There is no way to really cut it off. Two, there is no music currently playing in the house. I suspect that you are having some moonshine induced flashbacks to Shane’s singing from last night. And three, it’s almost 12:30 in the afternoon.”

“What? Why didn’t you wake me?” Rick mumbled from under the covers.

Michonne sighed. She walked over and shut the curtains and then moved back to the bed where she gently eased the covers away from Rick’s face before sitting down. He squinted back at her. His curls were in wild disarray all over his head.

“You looked miserable even in your sleep this morning. Your face was all scrunched up. I decided to just let you sleep it off. But I did come in here to wake you up so you could take these.” Michonne held out aspirin and a bottle of water to Rick.

“Thank you.” Rick sat up and took the aspirin and drank most of the bottle of water in one draw.

“Slow down, Rick. Those long nips are what got you here in the first place.”

Rick set the bottle on the nightstand and looked at Michonne. “I’m never drinking anything Shane offers me again.”

Michonne smoothed Rick’s curls out of his face. “Why did you drink in the first place?”

Rick closed his eyes briefly at Michonne’s actions. He remembered exactly why he drank last night, but he couldn’t share it with his friend. “Who knows? I got caught up in the moment I guess.”

There was something Michonne had to know. “Exactly how much of last night do you remember.”

This question Rick could answer honestly. “Everything after my first drink is a blur.”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“No. Did something happen?”

Michonne thought about last night’s events and Rick’s words to her and his words to Lori about her. He doesn’t remember any of it. Even if he did, would he admit to it? Was any of it even true or was it all just for Lori’s benefit?

“Just the usual drunk shenanigans.”

“Oh, okay.” Rick felt there was more Michonne wasn’t telling him, but his head hurt too much to really press her on it right now. “What have you been up to this morning?”

“I checked in back home and did some work.”

“I thought you did your work yesterday.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really get as much done as I expected yesterday so I finished up today.”

“Okay. So, what did you want to do today once my hangover subsides?”

Michonne smiled and stood from the bed. “Your day is already booked. Harold said for you to shower and meet him in the front yard. He said he has the perfect hangover cure.”

“Dammit. Who told him I have a hangover?”

“Jeffy,” the pair uttered at the same time.

Rick pushed the covers back. “Alright. Tell Daddy I’ll be down in about a half hour. Hopefully the shower will help and the pills will kick in by then.”

Forty-five minutes later, Rick was outside pulling on a pair of yard gloves and grabbing a rake. Harold Grimes’ “perfect hangover cure” was to rake up all the leaves that had fallen in the front yard.

“We’re killing two birds with one drunk stone, Ricky boy. You get some fresh air to help that hangover and your mama gets a clean yard for Thanksgiving Day company.”

“Glad I could help, Daddy,” Rick said dryly. “Doesn’t Uncle Lawrence have like four older kids that could be doing this?”

“Yep. But I wanted to spend some quality time with my oldest.”

“And make me regret drinking Shane’s moonshine?”

“Well, I guess we are killing three birds with one stone.”

Rick was about to say something when he saw his mother drive out of the garage with Michonne in the front seat. Suzanne Grimes gave a little toot of her horn and she and Michonne waved before they headed down the long driveway out to the main road.

“Where is Michonne going?”

“She’s headed into town with your mama to get some last-minute things for dinner on Thursday.”

“She didn’t tell me.”

“Son, she doesn’t have to tell you every move she makes.”

“I know, but she could have at least said bye.”

“Well, you and I both got the same sendoff from the ladies...a toot, a wave, and a smile.”

“Yeah, but you and Mama have been together for ages.”

Harold laughed. “And what? I should be happy with whatever I can get?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant, son. I’m just teasin’.” Harold went back to raking. “But since we’re on the subject, Michonne is certainly a lovely young woman.”

“She is.”

“You two have been friends for a while now.”

“We have,” Rick answered slowly. He wasn’t sure where his father was going with all of this.

“How long have you been in love with her?”

“I...what?!”

“Son, I know you like the back of my hand.” Harold looked around to make sure they were alone. “I know you aren’t really with Michonne, but I know that you want to be.”

Rick felt almost relieved that his father had figured it out. “Have you told Mama?”

“About your little game? No, it would break her heart. She really wants you two to be together. Truth be told, so do I.”

“Honestly, Daddy, that’s what I want, too. I’ve wanted it for a while now.”

“Then what’s the hold up?”

Rick sighed. “We work at the same place, we live in the same place, we have the same friends, and we spend most of our time together. Right now, everything is pretty much perfect as it is.”

“Except you aren’t with the woman you love...at least in the way you want to be.”

“Yeah, but what if we get together and it doesn’t work out? Our lives are so entwined, that we both have a lot to lose if things go wrong. And, besides that, I don’t think Michonne even sees me in a romantic way. I think she just sees me as her best friend.”

Harold burst out laughing. “Oh, son, to be so book smart, you have a lot to learn about women. Michonne loves you. I don’t know if she’s just now realizing it, but she loves you. I can tell by how she looks at you.”

“How does she look at me?”

“The same way you’ve been looking at her for a while now...with her heart in her eyes.”

Rick shook his head, wanting to believe his father but afraid to get his hopes up. “I think you’re just seeing things, Daddy.”

“I’m not, son. But I can’t force either of you to see it. You have to get to that place on your own. And I believe you will.” Harold was quiet as he continued raking. Now that things were halfway out in the open, he figured Rick needed the silence to work some things out for himself. Four birds, one stone, Harold thought with a smile.

“Is that everything on our list, Michonne?”

Michonne quickly scanned the handwritten list. “Yes. We got everything. That went faster than I expected.”

“Oh, that’s why I wanted to come today. Tomorrow this place is going to be a madhouse. There won’t be a sweet potato to be found,” Suzanne laughed.  “Come on, dear. Let’s check out.”

After they were checked out and the groceries packed, Suzanne locked the car. “You know, I’m not quite ready to go back just yet. You want to grab some hot chocolate?”

“That would be nice.”

“Great!”

Hot chocolate in hand, Suzanne and Michonne were now seated on a bench in the town square watching folks go about their day.

“How have you enjoyed King County so far, Michonne?”

“I really like it. There’s just a peacefulness here and especially out at the farm. It’s so different from my life back in DC.”

“Different in a good way?”

“Just different. I can’t really compare the two. I like them each for different reasons.”

Suzanne took a sip of hot chocolate. “I know something they both have in common.”

“What’s that?”

“Ricky.”

“Oh...I...” Michonne faltered, unsure of what to say or what to reveal.

“Dear, I know y’all are playing the part of a couple to spare Selby’s feelings and mine.”

Michonne started to panic. “Did Rick—”

“No, he didn’t let it slip. I figured it out. I actually figured it out before his daddy did.”

“Harold knows, too?”

“Yep. He thinks he’s keeping it from me. Bless his heart. He’s always putting me and my feelings first. That’s something I notice you and Rick do for each other, too.”

“Do you think anyone else has figured it out? I’d hate for this to turn into an embarrassment for Rick. This is his home. He has to see these folks after I leave.”

Suzanne smiled at Michonne’s concern for her son. “No one else knows. Harold and I figured it out because we know our son. But to everyone else, y’all look and act the part of a loving couple.”

Michonne breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”

“I suspect y’all are so good at it because you don’t have to do much actin’.”

Michonne started to speak but was cut off by Suzanne.

“Let me go on ahead and stop you before you try to deny it. My son’s in love with you and you’re in love with him. Rick got there faster than you did but you are catching up at lightning speed this week, aren’t you?”

Michonne simply nodded.

“I knew it!” Suzanne giggled in delight. “I’d clap my hands together if I wasn’t holding this cup of chocolate. I’m so happy for you two.”

“Don’t be. I know how I feel about Rick and I know Rick loves me as a friend, but I’m not sure if he loves me more than that.”

“Sweetie, I’ve known Rick since the moment he took his first breath...and nine and a half months before that. He’s a part of me and I know his emotions and his heart. Michonne, Rick is in love with you.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, honey. He doesn’t have to. I see it in his eyes and I hear it in how he talks about you.”

But that wasn’t enough for Michonne. “Suzanne, before I put myself out there, I have to hear it from Rick first.” Last night doesn’t count, especially since he was drunk and doesn’t even remember what he said.

“And what if he’s waiting on you to say it first?”

“Then I guess...,” Michonne swallowed painfully. “I guess best friends is all we’ll ever be. I’d rather have that than risk it and have nothing at all.”

When Suzanne and Michonne pulled back up to the house, Rick and Harold were almost finished with the yard. Harold left Rick to finish up while he went to help the ladies with the groceries.

“Michonne, Harold and I have this. Why don’t you go keep Rick company while he’s raking?”

Michonne knew what Rick’s mother was trying, but she knew it was simpler to just agree.

“Sure.”

Rick watched Michonne walk over and take a seat on the wide porch steps.

“You coming to watch or to help?”

“I was instructed to keep you company. There was never any mention of manual labor.”

“I think that was implied.”

“I think you don’t understand the definition of the word ‘houseguest.’”

The two shared a laugh before Michonne got up and grabbed Harold’s abandoned rake.

“Michonne, I was just kidding. I don’t really expect you to rake.”

“No, it’s fine. I need a little physical activity to distract me.”

“Distract you from what?”

“Things I’m not ready to face at the moment.”

“I completely understand.” Rick pulled off his gloves and walked over to Michonne. “Hey, if you are going to rake, put these on. Daddy insists on using these old wooden rakes. I don’t want you getting any splinters.”

“What about your hands?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Rick, you have to think about yourself sometimes. You can’t always put other people first.”

“I don’t always put other people first. Just you.”

Michonne flashed back to her earlier conversation with Suzanne. “Rick, I—"

“You know what’s even better than raking leaves into a pile?” Jeffy suddenly stepped out onto the porch. “Jumping into those piles and destroying them. Hey, California Five!” Jeffy yelled back into the house. “Get out here! We’re having us a good old-fashioned leaf fight!”

Almost instantly, two teenagers, two tweens, and a three-year-old shot out of the house and into the first pile of leaves they could get to. Rick and Michonne jumped back and watched in fascinated horror as the kids and Jeffrey attacked the leaves like zombies attacking fresh meat.

Jeffy emerged from the middle of a pile, breathless and with leaves all over his clothing and in his hair. “Are you two going to stand there gaping or are you going to join us?”

Knowing their earlier moment was broken, Rick and Michonne decided to give into the moment and have a little fun. They moved the rakes and gloves out of the way, grabs hands, ran and jumped into a pile. They came up laughing and covered in just as many leaves as everyone else.

“Oh, wait, Rick. You have a piece of leaf right by your eye. Hold still so I can get it before it gets in your eye.” Michonne leaned closer until she was a hair’s breath away from Rick’s face. She didn’t realize how close she was until she looked into his eyes. She pulled back in surprise at what she glimpsed in them.

Rick stared into Michonne’s eyes before moving down to stare at her mouth. She unconsciously licked her lips causing Rick to inhale sharply and find Michonne’s eyes again. Once they were locked in on each other, they naturally started moving closer to each other once again. Their lips were less than an inch from touching when...

“LEAF STORM! MAKE IT RAIN!!!” Jeffy and the California Five unleashed torrent after torrent of dried leaves over Rick and Michonne’s heads in a sneak attack.

Harold and Suzanne, watching from inside the house, sighed in frustration.

“They were so close. Jeffy really has the worst timing.” Susie eyed Harold accusingly. “He gets that from your side of the family.”

“Susie Q, I love you, but that’s an untruth. Your mama was the original blocker and you know it.”

“Harold Grimes!”

“You know it’s true.”

The kitchen phone started ringing.

“See, I bet that’s her calling right now.”

“If it is, you’re talking to her,” Suzanne said as she walked off.

Prologue/Sat-Sun Monday

[wclfwiife]

Good die young || drabble

There was no way to describe the feeling that came over her as he lifted his shirt, exposing the bite mark embedded in the skin of his abdomen. Her heart stopped, sank, and practically eroded as she looked at the circular wound. She stared down at the small, clean perimeter and, for a moment, it almost didn’t look quite as fatal as she knew it was. The fake hope that her own brain was giving her seemed cruel as the aching wolf brought her eyes to meet the boy’s that matched his father’s; both in hue and at that moment, a shared pain of knowing these would be their last moments together. 

Ash couldn’t even pretend to imagine what was going through Rick’s head as they all stared in silence after Carl revealed one of their gravest fears. They’ve lost their own before...it hurt every time, but this? How could they possibly come back from this? How would Rick come back from this? This hit them harder than anything they could’ve seen coming. 

“That’s how it happened,” 

She broke eye contact with Carl only to throw a glance over at the stranger sitting a few feet away. She knew in her rational mind that this wasn’t his fault, but right now, nothing was rational and the only thing she saw looking at that kid was rage. Her blood boiled and the fact that this person was here, well and fine, and her step-son was suffering on the floor of a sewer... the only thing she wanted to do right then was smash his head into the wall he sat so nonchalantly against. Forcing herself to turn back around, she took a deep breath and listened as Carl began to speak again. 

   “I’m sorry..I had to do it. I had to go back out there... it has to be worth something. This fight, it.. it’s got to mean something more than just killing people. We aren’t them, that’s what you said, right?” Carl looked back and forth between Ash and Rick, reminding them of their own words that have come from their mouths in the past. And he was right. They weren’t like them...they weren’t the Saviors. They had to be better than that. They were better than that... Carl knew it, which is why he had gone after the stranger. He wanted there to be more than just spilled blood and distrust after. Ash agreed with him on some level...but having known war most of her life, even before the world fell to the dead. There would always be another Negan around the corner. Another Governor...Another Terminus.... Battles didn’t end because one war did. The world was chaos before it was thrown into complete entropy. Having to accept this boy’s death now, sooner than any of them were ready to, it was leaving her with an entirely too acidic taste. All of this for a stranger. They’d all gone out of their way for someone they didn’t know at one point...but this was too much. 

Rick took hold of Carl’s hand, he was crying, which made it that much harder for Ash to keep herself together. Unshed tears stung her eyes as she rested a hand on Carl’s leg, watching the interaction between father and son. She stayed silent, not only because she didn’t know what to say in that moment, but to let the two Grimes men have their moment of peace. She sat back, letting them talk, the words exchanged only faintly penetrating her ears. It was like a shield had set itself up to prevent hearing anything else from anyone that she wouldn’t want to hear. She was light headed and her stomach was lurching. How could this be happening? The kids... the kids were supposed to outlive them all. Carl was supposed to lead when she and Rick were gone. To keep going after tonight... without one of the most crucial members of their family, it seemed inconceivable. She listened as best as she could to Carl’s words, the boy getting more and more tired by the minute. The sickness was spreading in him...it was taking hold of his cells and killing him before their eyes. But he stayed awake, speaking to them like an adult, telling them what he believes this world can be...if they do the right thing. Like he tried to...like Mom wanted him to. When Carl mentioned Lori, Ash knew it would break Rick down further. She placed her free hand on the small of Rick’s back, feeling his heaving immediately. She kept the two men close, unsure whether or not she should give them space ... she touched the back of her knuckles lightly to Carl’s sweating cheek, pushing his hair behind his ear. She tried so hard to smile for him, but it just turned into a fallen tear. “It’s okay,” he breathed, taking hold of her hand with his own. She shook her head, no...it wasn’t. None of this was okay. Rick shouldn’t have to be saying goodbye to his only son right now. And she didn’t want to say goodbye to her step-son she’d grown to respect and love like her own. Judith shouldn’t have to say goodbye to her big brother when she already lost her birth mother...and Lydia shouldn’t have to grow up without ever knowing her heroic older half brother. None of it was okay...none of it was fair. It was all too much for the wolf to take in. They all had so much to experience together still.. 

Carl looked between them again, then over to Judith who sat somberly with Daryl as if she knew something was wrong and back. “I want her to have something better. I want her to be better. She can. We all can... you can.” His eyes moved to meet Rick’s. “Mom told me to take care of you when she died...now I’m gonna go take care of her. You once said that you’d always be with us. Well, now we’ll always be with you. I love you, Dad.” 

“I love you too, Carl.” Rick breathed, bringing Carl’s pale hand to his lips, eyes falling closed as more tears fell down his face. He didn’t want to believe that his son was dying...again. He didn’t want to leave this place knowing that Carl wouldn’t be with them tomorrow---that he wouldn’t see Carl’s goofy smile when he cracked a stupid joke, or even hear him reprimand his dad in the way that teenagers often did. He couldn’t accept that his boy was here in front of him, in pain, and there was nothing he could do for him..he couldn’t save him this time. And the painful realization that both his son and his first wife had both fallen victim to the dead in his absence felt like all of his ribs cracking at once. How many times could he fail the people who mattered most to him? And how long would it be before he did it again? His worst nightmare was coming true...he almost lost Carl twice already but this time..it wasn’t anything a surgery or blood transfusion could fix. He was already dead. “I’m so sorry, I.. I should’ve--” “Dad..no. Don’t do that. Don’t put this on yourself. I did it. I made the decision to go out there. You couldn’t have done anything. This is on me, and me alone. If this is how I go..then it’s how I go. I just wanted to do something good...have something good come of it. I tried..with Negan. I thought...maybe he could kill me and then you could all just be done. I’m dying anyway. I don’t have much time left ... but I want you to know that this isn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault but mine. I let my guard down...I’m sorry. But I want you to keep going, Dad, you have to. You have to finish this..so you can create something better after. For Judith..and for Lydia. And all the other kids out there. They deserve it.” 

--------------

Almost an hour had passed and Carl was getting worse. He wouldn’t survive the night at this rate, especially with his wound being a few days old already. Rick and Carl kept talking to each other, people came over to say their goodbyes and tell him how much they would miss him, etc... Daryl came over to talk to him for a bit, told him what a good kid he was...how he was proud of him. Michonne came to sit by his side for awhile, too. Judith came to sit with her older brother and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a clumsy hug before Michonne took her away from the exhausted boy.  Rick and Ash stood close by while everyone came and went. “I can’t,” Rick started, running a hand over his beard before putting his hands on his hips, looking up to the ceiling. “Hey,” she brought his attention to her. “..you don’t have to. You’re not alone here.” He took a shaky breath, shaking his head. “It should be me.” Ash shook her head in response. “No, it shouldn’t be. You can’t carry that around with you.” From the floor they heard Carl’s faint voice say, “I’ll do it.” Both heads shot down to look at him in disbelief. “What? Carl..no, you---” “I’m not gonna have you guys try to figure out who has to put a bullet in my brain after I die. I’ll do it..before.” “You’re not killin’ yourself, Carl.” “Dad..look at me. I’m already dead. Ash is right, it shouldn’t be you. You shouldn’t have to kill me.” He looked over to her, “and neither should you. Or anyone else. I got myself into this so I’ll do what I have to do. But..I don’t want to do it here. Not in front of everyone...” Rick and Ash exchanged a worried, disturbed look as Carl tried to push himself up using the floor and the wall. They both rushed forward to help him steady himself and give him some leverage to support his weight. “I’ll do it..just....help me to the surface.” He looked at them again with pleading eyes. “Please.” They shared another look of concern, but nodded and proceeded to take Carl to the surface, being extremely careful not to jostle him too much.  Once they were back on ground level, they brought Carl over to a tree and sat him down gently against it. It was a secluded area that wouldn’t be found by the Saviors if they were still straggling around Alexandria. Even if they heard the gunshot, Rick and Ash would be long gone by the time they got there. Carl took a few staggered breaths, holding his side loosely and wincing a bit as he pulled the gun from its holster at his leg. “Carl,” Ash squeaked, stepping closer to him, kneeling and lightly grasping the barrel of the gun in his hand. “You can’t...are you absolutely sure about this?” Carl nodded. “I don’t want to turn into one of them.. I don’t want you guys to see me like that. I want you to remember me like this, y’know, alive.” She was crying now, unable to hold back her tears any longer. She nodded back, sadly and let go of the gun. She pressed a kiss to his head. “Buckaroo... I’m so glad I got to know you...you’re the best and closest thing to a son I could’ve asked for. Thank you for teaching me more than any adult ever has.” She forced a shaky smile. “I’m so proud of you.” He smiled the same pained smile back at her. “Thanks, Ash..I’m glad my dad found you. You’re good for him. You’re good for all of us. You taught me a lot too. I should’ve paid more attention to those fighting lessons huh?” He joked before his face got serious again. “Take care of my dad and Judy, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t have a chance to get to know Lydia like I did Judith.. I’m sure she’ll be as cool as you one day.” “I love you, Carl.” “Love you too, Ash.” When she stood up, he looked over at Rick. “I love you Dad. Thanks for not giving up on me..on any of us. I believe in you. I know you’ll do good. I’ll tell Mom you say hi. And not to worry about you or Judy.” His eyes met Ash’s once more as he continued speaking to Rick, “--you’re both in good hands.” Rick moved closer and fell to the ground, embracing his son for some time. He wasn’t ready to let go, physically or metaphorically. How did one say goodbye to their own child? “I love you so much, Carl. You made me proud. I’ll do right by you..I promise.” Carl nodded and whispered, “I know.” He waited until his dad moved back before he put the barrel to his head. He closed his eyes and took one more breath. Ash held Rick close to her, both unable to watch their son kill himself. They both flinched hard when they heard the gunshot ring out into the night. 

                                                                                       Goodnight, love. 

[multiplefandomfics]

Grimes sisters chapter 2

Hey guys sorry it took me so long to upload chapter two but to apologize properly chapter 3 is following suit.

Warnings: character death, angst, fighting

Fabienne POV

After I made myself at home in my cell to relax a little, stood suddenly Shane in my door. He had taught me a lot over the past few weeks. Everyone thought he was a hothead maybe that even was true but he only tried to save the group from being killed. “You wanna go have a little look around?” he asked. I nodded, sat up and put my shoes back on. On my way out I grabbed my knife, which I had put aside when I went to lay down. Outside we venture around the perimeter and ended up at a high watchtower. This was perfect to post guards on. The only problem were the biters inside the fence that surrounded the tower. But of course Shane already had a plan. Somehow he was able to pick the lock of the gate. “Stay behind me.” he whispered. Even if I was able to handle my knife I wasn´t as good as my sister or the others in the group. We killed them all and even I killed my fair share. Always aim for the brain, right? Even if that sometimes proofs to be very difficult especially in panic situations. As we stepped from the staircase onto the platform, we noticed the perfect view over the whole prison yard. I felt relieved about our new discovery because I still didn´t trust the peace. We decided to tell the others the good news and began our journey back down stairs. We ambled back to the prison when my brother stormed over to us with a facial expression that said “I wanna kill you badly”.

“Shane goddamnit what were you thinking? You went in there alone?? Why on earth would you do that and to all other things endanger my little sister at the same time??!!” Ricks voice was shaking in anger and you could tell it took everything he had not to pounce at Shane.

“Rick chill out, man. We just had a look at it. Nothing we couldn´t handle on our own. And we made it out alive. Didn´t we? I would never purposefully endanger Fabi. You of all people should know that.” Shane made calming gestures with his hands. I was happy and smiled a little to myself that he had said “nothing WE couldn´t handle” maybe he finally took me as a woman not the child my brother always makes me out to be. But then I get pulled back to the situation at hand and snap at my bother: “I am a grown ass woman, Rick. I can handle myself!” Of course I got why he was angry. He just wanted to keep me safe but if that wasn´t annoying as fuck sometimes. I mean the possibility that I was alone at some point was omnipresent so I should be able to defend myself if necessary. Ricks eyes turned to slits and he growled lowly “You stay close to me, understood?” We had had a lot of fights in the past before and it had us on edge all the time but enough was enough. I stormed past him up through the gate and inside to my cell. Why did he always have to play Mother Theresa?? Sometimes it was hard for me to understand why he made such a fuss about everything.

Ricks POV

When Daryl came to me and told me that he´d seen Fabienne and Shane enter the Watchtower that we still hadn´t cleared of walkers yet I was alittle taken aback cause I never thought they would go behind my back like that. Turned out I had been mistaken. I felt the anger cook up inside me and stormed down there to get to them. What did Shane think sometimes? He could be such an idiot! Sometimes he brought people in jeopardy without any kind of reason behind it. But that time he went to far. It was my sister we were talking about here! No way was I going to let him get through with this. He´d have to answer for that one.

When I saw them heading my way looking happy I snapped. I went directly to them. My hands balled into fists. I wanted to punch Shane badly but in the end I decided against it. I was the leader of this group I couldn´t look irrational. As I started reasoning with Shane I noticed there was no real point in doing so. He didn´t see what he had done wrong and my sister was fully backing him up. It was a lost cause. As my sister storms angrily away I repeat myself: “You put her in danger damn it!” “Rick I don´t want any trouble.” Shane looked tired from fighting and just walked past me without a second glance. I made my way back inside to talk the others through my plan for the day tomorrow. “Tomorrow we are going to start our expedition through the rest of the prison. I am going to take Daryl and Shane with me” I stated.

“Fabi and I cleared the Watchtower outside. You have a great view from up there. Can keep everything under control. We can position guards in shifts on the tower” Shane threw in.

I could see Fabienne watch us from upstairs. She still seemed upset about earlier.  

Glenn and Maggie claimed the first shift after a little dinner. We didn´t have much left hence the venturing deeper inside. That night we had canned carrots and peas with ravioli in tomato sauce.

I looked over at Lori, she looked more than exhausted. I was sure the baby wouldn´t be too long. Softly I stroked her cheek and smiled at her. She needed all the reassurance that everything would  be fine that she could get. Alex stepped in behind be “Did you fight?” of course I knew that she meant Fabi and me. “Not really. But Shane put her in danger today. I was just so angry at him and a little at her as well. She must have sensed that. I know she´s an adult but I just can´t not worry about her.” I replied. “Maybe I should have a talk with her later.” Alex agreed with me. “Have a good night you two. See ya tomorrow.” She hugged me good night and smiled at Lori who had watched our conversation with sleepy eyes and then she went back to her own cell.

Alex POV

Of course I had also noticed the differences my brother and Fabienne had had over the past months. But Rick was kinda right. She had to be careful especially when it came to Shane. He was a nice guy. Protective of our group. Sometimes maybe a little too much. I entered our cell. “Hey can we talk?” I asked her. She was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling. I didn´t get a response from her. “Listen, don´t you think Rick is a little bit right with how he behaved? Maybe he was a bit much today but Shane is a complicated guy and Rick just wants the best for us.”  I said understandingly but still with a bit of an edge to my voice. “Honestly Alex, I don´t really wanna talk about this. It´s my life, my decision to make. As much as you want to, you have no real say in this matter. Shane can be hotheaded but he is a good guy. He always puts everyone before himself. Can you still count how often he helped this group in a really bad situation to stay alive? Why is Rick always hanging on my ass and not on yours? It´s annoying.” She claimed.

Of course she had a point as well but it was our brothers best friend and colleague. “Don´t blame him for wanting to keep you safe okay?” I almost begged her.

“I´m goin´out again.” said Daryl who had just poked his head in. “Jus´so ya know if Rick should be searchin´for me” he added. Yeah maybe Daryl was sometimes a little strange but he was a good guy. He always seemed so tough and hard but inside he was a big softy. At the beginning he came off as a loner but honestly he was equally as good a team player if he had to be. I had liked him from the beginning all the way back at the camp outside of Atlanta when we still thought Rick to be dead. Even then he always seemed to be the most stable one when his racist and misogynist of a brother wasn´t around. Since Merle was gone he was so much more calm and started to show the good personality treats he really possessed. I only nodded and smiled at him in acknowledgment and he pulled his head out of the door. He was probably off to find some more squirrels to eat. `Maybe he´ll bring some deer` I thought to myself. We probably wouldn´t have survived that long without him I thought as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning came and I felt just amazing. I hadn´t slept that good in ages. Nothing ached and I felt relaxed the first time in a long time. A bed was so much better than the floor or the backseat of a car. Outside on the hallway the sounds of the others getting ready to launch.

At first I really wanted to go with them but in the end I decided against it to keep an eye on my sister she looked really done with everything and maybe she wanted to talk at some point.

I took a look from the gallery down and saw them already packed up. “Be careful.” Lori said to Rick lovingly and gave him a kiss. Rick nodded and got down on one knee to talk to Carl. “And you take care of your mom alright?” Carl agreed eager to please his dad and make him proud. If he knew how proud Rick already was at his soon to be eldest. After that I could see them walking through a door and disappearing behind the next corner. I hoped they´d find something edible my stomach grumbled constantly.

“G´ mornin´” came it from behind me. Fabienne pushed herself past me and then outside. Maybe she already wanted to plan where to plant the veggies when we finally got the seeds.

Shane POV

At first we had a lucky streak we hadn’t encountered a lot of walkers. The hallways were almost endless. We walked around without much of a plan. Sometimes we saw a sign to another cellblock or a bureau. “Almost like ol’ days right Rick?” I tried to loosen the mood a little and Rick smiled at me. We broke through a door that looked promising. Unfortunately we only found some old guard uniforms. As we ventured further we came into a bigger room and even found a first aid kit. Daryl immediately took it down and raided the contents. While we were looking through some boxes I started to hear some biters heading our way. I looked around the corner and saw about a dozen undead coming toward us. “Shit. We have a slight problem.” I shouted towards the others. “we´re trapped.” I cursed. The hall was the only way out. “I got an idea. let´s turn the shelf sideways to block their way then we can stab one after the other.” said, done. It was a good idea until the shelf slipped under the pressure of the pushing biters and fell directly on my foot. “hmpf” I bit my lip to keep from screaming. Daryl and Rick killed the last of the bastards while I tried to break my foot free. After the rubble was over Rick asked me if I could walk. I nodded because we would definitely not end the tour before we even found something, I was tough. I could take it. Hershel could have a look after we got back. We grabbed our bags and kept going. “Hey guys, that sign says cafeteria. Let´s head that way.” Daryl noticed. Maybe we would find some food and more meds. “Hey look at that!” Daryl exclaimed. He had already walked ahead of us Rick stayed behind with me because of my foot. We found canned food, dried fruits and vegetables, water bottles, gas stoves and some more. “I am sure we can live on that for a few month.” I said. Looked like our little trip really was worth it in the end. “We take what we can carry and come back later for the rest.” Rick marks on. My foot got worse on our way. “Stop I need a break.” I said with a pained expression on my face. “No way we have to keep goin´” Daryl snapped. “Let me stay here. I come after you when I’m rested.”  to me that sounded like the only alternative we had. After a minute of convincing on my side they agreed and I sat down inside a room and closed the door while they went back to our cellblock.

Fabienne POV

I had another careful look around outside. If the others really found some food with seeds it was good if I already had a plan where to plant them. Looked like there was finally a silver lining.

I sat down in the grass to enjoy the sun a little. The sun was already strong despite the wind blowing. Suddenly I heard Alex calling out to me from the distance. She sounded distressed so I got up and ran towards her. “Whats wrong?” I asked her out of breath from running. “Did you see Hershel?” she asked in full panic mode. “No I haven’t” I respond “Why?” “Lori is having the baby right the fuck now. We have no time to find him. Come on let’s go!” As we arrived inside Lori was laying on some blankets on the floor while Carl was standing a few feet away. Maggie was already by her side and together we took of Lori’s pants. “Calm breaths” we tried to help her relax. Maggie did everything she had gathered from her fathers lessons but soon we noticed that something wasn’t right. She was bleeding profusely. “This can’t be normal” “where the hell is my dad?” We had to keep calm. We could do it. But somehow the baby seemed to be stuck. Because of the blood loss Lori was turning white as a sheet. “You have to do a C-section.” Lori musters with her last powers. No one of us had ever done something like this before. I mean, cut in a walker to keep them from killing you, alright but cutting into a living human being that you love and care for without anesthesia? No thank you. But we knew we had to. “You see the scar on my belly? You have to just cut there and get the baby out. Save him or her at least.” she stuttered under tears. Carl jumped over to his mom and cried and we were also tearing up. “It’s fine” she mumbled. “I love you Carl. Take care of your dad and your new sibling alright? I am so proud of you! Always listen to your heart. You’re stronger than you think.” Slowly her eyes fell close. “I love you too mama.” Carl replied sobbing. Maggie takes the knife with shaking hands and cuts the old scar open to take the baby out. At first we were all worried cause it was not breathing, but suddenly a cry echoed loudly from the cell walls. Relive flooded us. Maggie cut the cord “It’s a girl” she adds. We wrapped her in a blanket. We couldn’t have let Lori lay like that she would have turned. “I’ll do it. She’s my mom.” Carl said sure. “You don’t have to do that.” Alex looked pitiful at him as did we all. But Carl hat already drawn his gun. We turned around and left the cell. Not a second later we heard the shot ringing. It was over.

[chrkrose]

But if the show is using romance to get people talking/debating, it's not working, like at all. The ratings for the last ep, which was heavy on a ship, received the lowest ratings since 2012. There is huge backlash to this ep on TWD Facebook page. Whatever their reasons, a lot GA fans don't like r!ch0nne and ultimately it's The GA TPTB have to think about. Putting Daryl in a ship could turn a lot of fans away and they can't afford to lose any more viewers.

Read more because this is huge. Also, if you are a R!chonne fan, it would be better to just skip it. I’m leaving out of the tags cause I don’t want to bring negativity to the ship or the fandom. But I don’t ship R!chonne, so it won’t be a positive post about them, so ignore it if you like the pairing :)

I think what are you failing to see is that, first of all, Caryl is not R!chonne. It’s not a surprise here that I’m not a R!chonne fan and I don’t like what the relationship is doing with one of my favorites female character, but I’ll try my best to answer this without my bias getting in the way.

There are a few problems with R!chonne that I think could be the cause of why the episode wasn’t well received (besides racism, because we know this is one of the reasons why some people don’t like them together), and also a few problems with the structure of the show that didn’t help the episode.

1. Their canon:

Gimple dropped the ball big time with how he made R!chonne happen imo. Before season 5, I used to ship them a lot. Their interactions during season 4 and part of season 5 were perfect and totally created the perfect setup for them to be one of the most iconic couples in the show. But then J3ssick happened. And you see, the problem is not having a midship in the middle of it. The problem is having R!ck lusting after Jessie and completely forgetting about M!chonne and what they had together. Sure, they traded some looks here and there, and it was clear he had no chemistry at all with Jessie, and let’s be honest, that couple was ughh, but the fact remains that R!ck couldn’t stop going after jessie and that could be a huge turn off to people when it comes to R!chonne. It’s hard for you to believe that these two people love each other when M!chonne didn’t seem to bother with R!ck and his new gf (don’t get me wrong, I thank God that she didn’t, cause I’m honestly not here for Ricardo Grimes having two women fighting for him) and when we have R!ck, just one episode prior to their canon, having flashbacks of Jessie and all the (five) moments they spent together flashing to the whole public and him suffering while having to kill her. Many of the complains about R!chonne was that it seemed out of nowhere, and honestly, it did. If Gimple had taken at least 2 or 3 episodes to build something back and then having them going canon, it would be way better.

2. The lack of development:

After dropping the ball completely when it comes to their canon, Gimple made another huge mistake: didn’t give R!chonne time to develop their relationship on season 6. So we ended the season they went canon without any other significant moment that could stick with GA and solidified them as a couple. They shared a few scenes here and there, but there wasn’t nothing substantial as them trying to navigate through this relationship. It seemed like they simply fell into this thing and that’s it, no need to explore what all of this could mean for them, for Carl and Judith.

3. Screentime doesn’t equal to quality time

Then we have a huge shift when it comes to season 7a. R!chonne is in every episode together and sharing  lot of screentime. But, this doesn’t mean that what they shared was something that helped GA connect with them as a couple. Their scenes were mainly about what was happening with N3gan and his monologues, and the little interesting storylines we could have that could make them be interesting to the public, they dropped… again. Like M!chonne not agreeing with R!ck’s attitude when it came to how he was handling N3gan. That last only one episode and then it was over. I feel that this is more a problem related to how everything needed to be about N3gan and it certainly hurt what could have been good moments for them, but the audience was finding it hard to connect with anything on 7a, R!chonne unfortunately wasn’t an exception.

4. M!chonne disappearing in the relationship.

Maybe this point is the one that my bias will be super clear. M!chonne was one of my favorite characters of twd. Any episode that had her as a focus, I was already down for it, simply because it was her. But since her and R!ck started this relationship, her whole storyline is centered on the Grimes family, and specially, on R!ck’s character, and this sucks big time. Where are their conversations about how SHE feels when it comes to Glenn being dead? Where are the conversations about M!chonne having to kill a teenager, when she was a mother herself? Where are their conversations about Andre? Her struggles after she lost her son? What she went through while she was alone out there? Where is she talking about Andrea to Rick? How their friendship changed her? If R!ck has the time to talk about judith and the whole shane/lori storyline, why M!chonne doesn’t get the same?

And since when M!chonne would be the kind of character who would simply give up at the prospect of R!ck dying? M!chonne, who loves Carl and Judith more than anything?

M!chonne’s storyline revolves around R!ck now, and this can be another reason why people feel hard to connect with this relationship, since M!chonne is a fan favorite and people are expecting more of her story than just being R!ck’s partner and the person who supports him.

Do I think it’s an important relationship in terms of representation? Yep, I do. It’s the powerful black female character with the white leading man, we don’t see this in television very often, it’s a huge slap in the face of racists assholes. But I still think this relationship could be better, could be done better, and if they are not careful with how they are treating M!chonne in all of this, this might be more harmful than helpful.

The thing though, that you need to understand, is that the problem doesn’t rely on R!chonne happening, but in how it’s been conducted. The whole TWD problems is about how they are making things happening. R!chonne is just one more reflection on how TPTB is not handling well their own show, how they are not being careful with how things happen and how to make it happen in the best way to draw GA viewers to their arcs. It could happen with Caryl as well? Yep, absolutely. They could fuck it up and turn the relationship in something not satisfying to anyone (shippers and GA). But putting them together is not an issue, and never was. Carol and Daryl are two of the most popular characters in the entire show, and GA as a whole already considers them “a thing” even without canon. Their story revolves around how powerful their relationship always were, and if they do it right, it will be even more interesting to see them navigating their relationship. Daryl Dixon being paired with Carol is not something that will drive fans away. It might drive some of his ageist fans away, which let’s be honest, it’s great for him, since they are the worst part of his fan base. The character maybe will be able to finally be discussed for his interesting arcs or development, instead of “when Daryl will finally hook up with someone?”. The worst thing that happened to Daryl was to become the cash cow. And that happened on season 4, when he became this huge product rather than a good character with interesting arcs. His highest moments were season 1/2/3, and it was what made him popular. And it’s not coincidence that it was when he has this storyline with Carol going on and interesting arcs that were focused not on his man pain and him crying to make fan girls go nuts, but arcs that focused on his struggles and his past, and the abuse he suffered, and him finding himself having feelings for someone and wanting to take care of his family.

People tend to forget I think that Daryl is only what he is today because of his storyline with Carol. If it wasn’t for that, he would be just one more “one note character”.

[whiskeyxcola]

Ain’t It Enough; Part 14

Part 14: Don’t Ride That Horse Pairing: Daryl Dixon x OFC Word Count: 2806 Warnings: All the usual TWD things, physical abuse, language. 

A/N: Blanket warning for possible OOC Daryl at different points in the story. Story and chapter titles from Old Crow Medicine Show songs/lyrics. 

One of my goals this year is to be more active on my side blogs, meaning this one and my original fiction blog. Here’s to hoping I can make that happen!

@daaryl-dixxon @bucky2-0 (Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!)

Masterlist

Seein' bears, ascendin' clown Shut our whole damn circus down Crappin' up in Joliet We haven't wrecked the trailer yet But we will We're gonna get killed

Macyn let out a deep breath as she shut the door behind her. Carl looked at her expectantly, and Rick's countenance was grim. The news she had was somewhere in between their two sets of expectations.

"We've stopped her contractions, for now. I'm pumping her full of everything I can, until Daryl and Merle get back – then, honestly, I'll be pumping her full of more medicines. Thing is, I can't stop the contractions forever. She's got to relax more. That means no one speaks a word of what's going wrong or even looks anything but like they had fucking rainbows for breakfast anytime they go in that room. Everything is about Lori and the baby, or they'll both die."

Rick let out a shaky breath. "Oh my God …"

"You can save her, right?"

This came from Carl. Macyn's heart broke for the millionth time since everything had started going to a new level of hell. As she had thought all those hours before, it tore her apart that they had to ask someone so young to defend their homestead. But, here he was now, concerned for his mother and his new sibling, and all at once, he looked innocent and childlike again. Where killing people and walkers had hardened him over, this possible loss changed all of that in an instant.

She swallowed hard and lowered herself to his level. "I'm going to do everything I can, Carl. I promise."

"I believe you," he told her quietly.

Macyn resisted the urge to hug him, not wanting to tip him off to her own emotions. Rick asked if they could see Lori; Macyn reminded them to be quiet and optimistic. Lori and the baby both needed rest, so they shouldn't keep Lori talking long.

Outside, it was nearing dark. That fact didn't escape her notice, right along with the fact that the Dixon brothers had yet to return.

She told herself that it was anything else other than what was painfully obvious and, in these days, legitimate. She told herself that Merle had finally made sense of himself to Daryl and they had decided to part ways from the group. Maybe they were holed up in their own room or even house in Woodbury right then, filling their bellies with food and no longer concerned with a winter stockpile.

But Macyn knew that wasn't it. She was confident in Daryl's love for her, and because of that, he would never leave her. If Merle had been able to convince Daryl to leave, it would have happened before Willy Slater tried to kill Daryl. Still, she tried to concentrate on the more optimistic scenario. Although it contradicted anything that made sense, it seemed easier to believe that Daryl would leave her willingly than by force of death.

She mulled over both these thoughts and a glass of whiskey for almost an hour before decided to go to bed. She hadn't gone to bed by herself since she had killed Willy Slater and she found she really didn't like it much. The bed seemed much bigger and every little noise made her jump.

A couple of hours later, she had just dozed off when the bedroom door slowly opened and then clicked shut. Macyn startled up in bed, but Daryl turned on a light to reveal himself.

"I'm sorry darlin'," he whispered. "Merle and I were trying to get back in without wakin' everybody. I did knock on the Grimes' door and tell them we're back so they don't lose sleep over not having Lori's medicine."

"That was a good idea. I'm trying to keep her as calm as possible."

He shed his clothes and crawled under the covers with her. He knew he should shower, but more than that, he needed the skin-to-skin contact with her, and it had nothing to do with physical intimacy.

"How's your shoulder?"

Macyn must had sensed his need because she pulled the oversized t-shirt over her head before pushing her panties down her legs and onto the floor.

"It's a little sore, but I'll survive."

He pulled her against him and nuzzled into her neck. "Good. Because I don't think I could live without you, Macyn Ballard."

She frowned and turned to her back. "What happened out there, Daryl?"

"It's over. No sense in recountin' it."

"You don't get to do that," Macyn argued, getting out of the bed and pacing the room. "You don't get to volunteer to go on a really dangerous run, not come back until well after dark, then tell me there's no sense in talkin' 'bout what happened. You can't do that to me."

Daryl sighed and sat up, the sheet over his lap. He turned on the bedside lamp and shrugged. "We got surrounded. I really didn't know if we were going to make it out. Kept waiting for you to come around and start snipin' 'em all."

Macyn smirked at his reference to when they had first met. "I wish I could have been there."

"No," Daryl said adamantly, shaking his head and pulling her back to the pillows with him. "It's better that you weren't. We waited 'em out. They got bored, or distracted by some animal, and we got through. If you were there, Macyn, I wouldn't have been able to wait. I would have needed to get you out of there, at all costs."

She nuzzled against his neck. "You can't do that, Daryl. You're all I got left. Without you, then I have nothin' to live for."

"You've got these people," Daryl reminded her. "They need you, and if, God forbid, something happened to me – I want you to stay with Rick, Macyn. He's got he's head on straight, straight as it can be in times like this. Watch out for Merle, do whatever you can to keep him with you guys. But Rick's the only one I trust to take care of you when I'm gone."

Her frown returned. "You act like you're leavin' soon. Did something else happen out there? Did you get bit?"

Frantically, she threw back the covers and started searching his skin for bites or scratches or cuts – anything that would provoke such a somber speech. Daryl stopped her by taking her hands and kissing her knuckles.

"It just makes me think about what could happen. This is the life we live now, darlin'. Gotta be prepared."

"I know you're right," she ceded. "I just hate to think abou it."

He tipped her chin up so she was looking him in the eye. "Understand, even when I say I'd save you at all costs, I'd do everything in my power to make sure those costs don't include anything that separates us. Just as much as you don't want to be without me, I don't want to be without you."

Macyn couldn't help herself; she rolled them so she was on top of him and kissed him eagerly. Daryl returned the kiss, anxious to have that connection with her. Inevitably, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. He gently let her go to the side of him, then pulled on his pants.

"Rick, everything okay?"

"It's Lori. She's bleedin', real bad. Macyn awake?"

"She's gettin' dressed." He closed the door behind him. "You think this is it?"

Rick stared the other man down. Daryl was never one to beat around the bush, but this he knew he had to be tactful about. Rick could see that.

"I don't know. If it is, I'll take care of it."

Macyn swung the door open. "Ain't gonna be anything to take care of. Wake Carol."

"Beth, too?" Daryl asked.

"No. Let her sleep."

With that, she disappeared into the Grimes' room.

.&.

"Are you in pain?" she asked Lori while they waited for Daryl to bring the new supplies he and Merle had gathered and stored in the medical pantry.

Lori shook her head. "Not in pain. It just felt wet. I woke Rick, and we saw the blood. Please tell me this isn't what I think it is."

Macyn didn't say anything while she examined Lori. Carol walked in with the supplies; arranging everything on the bedside. After a few minutes, they all breathed a sigh of relief. Carol call Rick back in the room.

"Her placenta is laying low; it's called previa. It's going to be even more uncomfortable, but I'm putting you on absolute bedrest, Lori. For your sake and the baby's sake, I can't have you moving around too much until this resolves."

"What if it doesn't resolve before the baby is born?" Rick asked.

Macyn looked at Lori. "Then you'll be on absolute bedrest since then. We'll get you some exercises to keep your muscles from atrophying, and make sure that the contractions stop. I'm going to start easing you off the magnesium – see if we can't get this baby to just relax."

She threw her gloves into a nearby trash can and told Carol to go back to bed. Rick followed her back out to the hallway.

"How do we keep the baby relaxed?"

Macyn smiled. "Talk to your baby, Rick. Rub her belly, love Lori. When she's relaxed, the baby will relax."

He swallowed hard. "I can't lie to you. I'm having a hard time with this baby. With Carl, it was so much easier. There were no … complications."

Macyn's smile faded. "I suppose you're not talking about medical complications."

"You know I'm not."

"Shane's gone. I never knew him but from what I heard, he wasn't the type to last in a situation like this. Lori is your wife and she needs you. This baby is Carl's sibling, all things told. It's your baby, Rick." She wasn't getting through, so she tried a different path. "Merle and Daryl were nearly overrun at the hospital. Made Daryl think, he said. Told me tonight that if anythin' were to happen to him, I'm supposed to stick with you. Said you'd never steer me wrong. So, if you can't think of this baby as yours, then go on ahead and think of it as Shane's – but if you're going to do that, then I want you to take care of this baby for Shane. Even in his craziest moments, I think he knew you were the one who would take care of his, if he had left anything behind."

Rick, tight-lipped and silent, gave her a simple nod and slipped back to the room with his wife. Macyn didn't know if she had gotten through, but she had done what she could for the night.

.&.

Macyn was, once again, on watch. Nothing had happened in days – none of Woodbury's men had come around, and even walkers had been scarce.

Winter was well on its way. Macyn knew that Lori's baby would be here before the winter was over, but, thankfully, there had been no other mishaps since they had discovered the previa. Even that condition had corrected itself, and Lori's contractions had not returned. Macyn had walked in the other day to find Rick softly rubbing his hand over Lori's growing belly, telling the baby about chasing after some robber or another. Undetected, she had backed out of the room with a smile.

It didn't stop her from checking on Lori every few hours. She knew the new mother would soon enough be losing sleep with a newborn, but they couldn't chance letting any new obstacles go without treatment for any length of time. If she had better technology at her hands, Lori would have been better off. As it was, a physical check and vitals record every few hours was necessary with the resources available to them.

An unexplained tension had formed between Daryl and herself, which also kept her up at night. Since the night of walker attack when he had Merle had gone to get the medicine, when Daryl had told Macyn what to do if anything happened to him, their relationship had cooled. They had barely touched each other since then, never having completed what they started when Rick knocked on their bedroom door. They only kissed each other when one of them had to go on a run or hunt. In truth, the distance was being brought on from the both of them.

Daryl hated the thought of leaving her behind. He knew what it felt like – what it had been like when they found that box van missing and Merle gone with it. To break Macyn's heart like that … he hadn't been teasing in the slightest when he said that he would come back to her at all costs, but there were some things in this world that couldn't be avoided. There wouldn't always be someone to snipe an oncoming herd, or an animal to distract them. There wouldn't always be a way out.

Coming to terms with that meant coming to terms with the fact that Daryl could possibly shatter Macyn's world one day. He thought back to when their feelings first began, when he told her it was better not to be attached. Before Merle came back, before Willy Slater had come around, before Dale and T-Dawg and … so many things.

He hated this. Just when things started to seem so permanent, the world started to tip over on him again.

.&.

Lori was still looking healthy, and so was the baby. Macyn rejoiced for that, but her relief didn't show on her face. She kept a blank countenance and wrote down the details of the examination in the notebook on Lori's nightstand.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong or are you gonna make me guess?" Lori asked.

Macyn shook her head. "Nothin' you and I need to be talkin' about. You're healthy, baby's healthy. That'll be the end of it."

"Why? The whole place in danger?"

"No, Lori, it's because it ain't got anythin' to do with the rest of y'all. Woodbury's been staying out of our way, and we're out of theirs. Don't guess that'll be the end of our visits with them but for now everything is calm."

Lori sighed and sat back against the pillows, rubbing her belly. "Daryl, then."

Defeated, Macyn sat on the edge of the bed. "I hope this baby is a little girl. She'll have a really great mom, and I'll be around to make sure she appreciates that you're always in her business."

Lori chuckled softly. "Come on, Macyn. Spill it."

"I don't even know," she replied. She pulled the elastic from her hair and it fell down past her waist in those sun-bleached waves. "He came home a few weeks ago, from the medicine run, and started talking about what he wanted me to do if – if anything happened to him."

Lori's eager expression sobered. "Scares the hell out of ya, doesn't it?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Macyn confirmed. "Everyone I've ever known and trusted has left me, Lori. My mother first. Then Robbie. Then my father, Willy Slater. If I have to add Daryl to that list, I don't wonder if it isn't better for it to happen by my own choice. Then I can blame myself and not him."

"You'll still blame him," Lori told her. "You'll blame him because he's not in your life, doesn't matter who the fault belongs to. When I thought Rick was dead, I hated him. Hated him for getting shot, for leavin' us. I never wanted anything more in my life than for him to come back to life. Just the same, I was so angry with him for leaving us. It wasn't even his fault, but I was still so angry with him."

Macyn stood up from the bed and quietly left the room. She didn't need Lori to explain her point; Macyn understood exactly what the older woman was saying. It didn't make her feel any better.

.&.

Daryl was on watch. He always took over for her. She knew that. So, she knew exactly where she would find him. Right on the porch, rocking back and forth, keeping an eye out. Occasionally, like today, smoking a stale cigarette, pilfered from the small stock in the pantry.

Daryl looked up at her. "Hey."

"Hey." Her greeting was just as short and cold as his. Rather than drag things out with small talk and thick silence, she got straight to the point. "We need to talk, Daryl."

He stood from his chair, his boots clunking against the wooden planks that made up the porch. He threw down the cigarette and put it out with the toe of his boot.

"Yeah," he agreed. "We do."