#lord give me patience with this ding dong of a man

[hippolotamus]

OK usually I’m not here for immediate post episode analysis but @bidisasterevankinard asked and I’m powerless against that I said yes.

In 7x05 You Don’t Know Me we have a fraught Buck, who has made some absolutely terrible word vomity decisions on his date with Tommy. His secondary concern? Lying to his Best Friend. Maybe they discussed this part off screen (as many things are implied to be in this show) but Eddie presumably doesn’t know that that’s what was eating Buck alive. That he lied.

NOW in 7x07 Ghost of a Second Chance we have Eddie. Eddie who uses Buck as part of his own (very premeditated) lie. Because he obviously can’t ask Marisol to watch Chris. (Meaning he also doesn’t have to add anyone else to the lie by telling her he’s hanging with a friend or has a shift. So we’ll give him that one small, microscopic fragment of recognition.)

Eddie doesn’t ask Buck to lie outright, but Buck thinks Eddie’s going on a date with Marisol. Y’know, his girlfriend. What else is Eddie supposed to say?

This will be one of the few (only?) times we’ll see Eddie needing Buck’s forgiveness. Because how could Buck not be furious to be used like that? That’s his partner. His bestie. His ride or die. The person who said there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you. The person Eddie has been the most vulnerable with.

Can’t imagine that’s gonna go well for anyone.

[saymypiece]

This nobody’s journal of hot, boring afternoons…

Day 21 (7.4.2020 - Tuesday)

I did not sleep through the night, again! What on Earth! On the other hand, I worked out, a little, but still a workout. As in I played with my dog. She got a hold my bro/sis old silambam belt and goes around playing with it. So grabbed on to the other end and had a tug of war with her, which was fun, until she realised I wasn’t much of a competition and got bored. :S It’s alright, I will prove to her that I am worthy of her time. I shall try again. Practice makes perfect Koko, you adorable snob! 

Day 20 (6.4.2020 - Monday)

Omgoodness its day 20! I cannot believe we have been stuck at home without a choice for so long. I keep hearing of doctors and nurses falling ill, scientists working so hard to create a vaccine. I can’t help but wonder what this virus is all about. This thing we can’t see is causing so much chaos, panic and fear in everyone. And the way I see it, it’s not going away anytime soon. But our God is God over the impossible! He is the only way this virus will be washed out. This time at home, especially during this time leading up to Easter, has allowed me to spend some time in devotion and the Bible. And what I have learnt is we are not alone. Our time on Earth, though temporary, is designed to be fulfilling and beautiful. So I’m embracing that. No matter what comes against me, it shall not prosper. For my God is for me. On the other hand, I have not been able to sleep. It’s been challenging to 

Day 19 (5.4.2020 - Sunday)

As usual, Sunday was enriching and chill. Not that every other day is not chill, but Sundays, they are quite a little more chill than other days. At 3pm, I joined a group chat with some friends from church. Fun.

Day 18 (4.4.2020 - Saturday)

After last week’s shopping debacle, I was terrified about going out there with mum again. Nevertheless, we had needs and they needed to be bought, so I got ready with my gear, the usual suspects of masks, gloves and a hand sanitiser. This time, the mall staff were even more strict. They checked body temperatures before anyone could even enter the building. And only one person per family was allowed in. So, yes, we kinda put on our inner Meryl Streeps and acted the strangers we never knew we could play so well. They believed it. Heck, at one point, even I believed it. My mom, I think, may BE, Meryl Streep, I don’t know. Anyway, no drama during shopping, everything was perfect. I even got to keep my shorts intact the whole time. No, it was a different shorts, I wash them everyday. Yes, I’ve got a whole lot of loose shorts okay? They’re comfy! What some more you want?

Day 17 (3.4.2020 - Friday)

Another Friday has come and gone. There is really nothing new happening, but today, I got to catch up with the darling! You don’t feel time passing you by until you actually do something you used to do very, very often, years ago. We used to Skype and video call all the time until work and life happened. Then suddenly, it had all come to an abrupt end. This conversation felt like such a treat. I felt like I was catching up with her entire lifetime. Well, a lot can happen in over six years. Feeling so blessed for technology and this time we get to reconnect and spend quality time with each other. 

Day 16 (2.4.2020)

Ok so, sleep lost it’s way and didn’t really get back to me, blardee heartbreaker! Didn’t do much other than write and hang around all day. So I decided, to pick up my guitar and do somethin with it. :) You Say by Lauren Daigle

Day 15 (1.4.2020 - Wednesday)

I know it’s meant to be April’s Fool today, but like the rest of the world, it didn’t mean a thing. I mean, our situation right now seems like a giant prank anyway. There is no need to scare anyone else about, anything else. The greatest prank in the world right now would be to just go up to someone who’s NOT your family, and sneeze or cough right at their faces. Once they know you’re pranking em, they’d either laugh or slap you so hard, you begin to foretell your f-f-future. Even watching old YouTube videos of interviews or clips from shows where there is some amount of coughing or sneezing involved makes me cringe so hard! And I’m not the only one. Read the comments. Once thing I am certain of, whether a vaccine is found or not, is that once this MCO is over, everybody is gonna be a germaphobe/hygiene-junkies - always washing hands and sneezing into handkerchiefs and such. Anyway, goodnight, hope sleep finds me tonight.

Day 14 (31.3.2020 - Tuesday)

Oh praise the Lord I’m alright. At least, I think I’m alright. I don’t feel fuzzy, I have no fever, no headache. I was awake super early and I decided to feed my three dogs, for the first time! Let my bro and sis sleep in a little this morning. I had no idea how to do it. I just winged it based on what I thought is normally done, and it worked. The three ding dongs listened, sat patiently, ate sweetly and gave me some kisses. And then, I put on a fan for them, coz there was no air movement out. It was so weird, it was early morning and it was so hot with zero movement in the air. Man, we really need the rain!

Day 13 (30.3.2020 - Monday)

I am so not feeling good today! My mind is racing. Was it the shopping at Tesco on Saturday? Was it the Lontong flavoured Chef noodles I had for dinner last night? What is it? I have a bad headache, body ache and my brain is a little fuzzy, like when I have a fever. When I asked my sister to check my temperature, she confirmed there is a slight fever. Paracetamol. I need it. And a good shower. Had both. Going to sleep again. Maybe I’m tired, exhausted. I’ve told everyone in the house to stay away. Lord, protect papa. And heal me. Let this not be…it.

Day 12 (29.3.2020 - Sunday)

Time for church online. Mummy made friend mee hoon and some Portuguese tarts. It was one of those quiet days. Didn’t do much today.

Day 11 (28.3.2020 - Saturday)

Nope. Zoom didn’t let me down. I let Zoom down! My frickin alarm didn’t go off, or maybe it did and I didn’t hear it, I don’t know. All I know is I wasn’t up until 11.20am! The meeting was supposed to start at 11am! #muchembarassed Thankfully they were all in conversation while waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth. Just washed my face, tamed my hair and appeared online. Connect was awesome though. The two newcomers were great. Kinda weird we didn’t shake hands or hug, kinda weird we literally met face-to-face, online, but it was great! Cheers to new experiences, I say. Speaking of new experiences, I have never liked shopping. Like, ever. I don’t enjoy walking around, I don’t enjoy going to shops after shops after shops. Basically, I’m most men when it comes to shopping. Today, my mom and I had to run to Tesco to stock up on some of our essentials that are running low. I wore a shorts and t-shirt but with two masks, gloves, and in my pockets, Clorox anti-bacterial wipes and hand-sanitiser. We strategised how and what to touch before entering the store. I was going to be the one doing the touching, cos I wore the gloves, and my mom, wearing one glove, was to be the one pointing out what I was supposed to pick out from the shelves. Carefully, but swiftly, we began picking out everything on our list. My heart, for some reason, was drumming like a Taiko drum in my chest. And to make matters worse, sometime during our walking through the aisles, my mom completely ditched our strategy and started touching the things on the shelves! Like, ALL things! Okay, granted, I wasn’t fast enough for her but PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, okay? Just… keep your hands to yourself and straighten ONLY the index finger. How difficult is that strategy? Now, she’d gone and made my mind spin round and round tryna think of how the virus would travel, or get stuck on her phone (which I sanitised the moment we got out), or what her gloved hand touched and what she could and could not touch anymore not that is has been exposed. Arghh! Finally at the cashier, we more or less got in sync. Everything went according to plan, like which hand she would get her debit card out of my shorts pocket with and which hand she received it from the cashier with after the payment was made. It went pretty perfectly, with the slight risk of me losing my shorts because mummy decided to shove her hands so far down my pockets. The shorts was loose to begin with. Thankfully, with my firm grip, nothing untoward happened. We got out, got home, showered and washed all the clothes we were in. All good. Phew…

Day 10 (27.3.2020 - Friday)

Thankful for technology. It’s made life very easy. Even my mom, who is completely resistant of anything “technology” (because she thinks she would destroy the internet or something) has had to organise Zoom meets, coordinate her kindergarten teachers’ online lessons and activities - it’s been quite a trip seeing my mom grow into this technological wiz, so to speak. I joined her connect group today, had a good discussion. A little nervous about mine tomorrow morning. We will have two newcomers on board. Hopefully Zoom doesn’t let me down.

Day 9 (26.3.2020 - Thursday)

It’s the end of the day, and lo and behold, I have completed the pages I was meant to complete. Turns out, I didn’t have to do some of the last pages, so that saved me some work. I was right. I DO feel blind and like a bat after completing the job, but the satisfaction of a job completed is unmatched. The number of cases keep increasing by around 130 every day! It’s not even funny how people are still choosing to ignore this situation. We are already in day nine of the MCO and they still feel it’s alright to meet their friends and family in such a time as this. If only we all, collaboratively, stayed home for two weeks, we could actually curb this virus from spreading out. STOP GIVING IT TRANSPORT! Ugh! On the bright side, I am organising our Connect meet online.

Day 8 (25.3.2020 - Wednesday)

Quick update: Still on the project. I have managed to complete around 10 pages, mostly profiles. I am so surprised at how weirdly written everything is. On COVID-19, we are 300 cases short of 2000. It’s not looking good at all. And what’s worse, the government has extended the MCO to April 14. So instead of going back to work on 1 April, I would be jobless until 15 April. Lord, I surrender this to you. Let all that happens, happen according to your plan. I place my trust and hope in You, Lord. Amen.

Day 7 (24.3.2020 - Tuesday)

…aaaaaaadddd!!!! There are sooo many words in this, it doesn’t seem to have an end! 105 pages of THIS is more than I can bear!!! I’m gonna go nuts by the end of it, or blind! Anyway, I started on this the day before yesterday, but it has been a lot of, what my dad would call, broken focus. I just can’t seem to stay on the editing bit. I keep getting beckoned by either YouTube or Facebook or Instagram, and end the day without completing even one full page… so here we are. I have exactly two days to complete editing 103 pages of words. *takes a deep breath* RM530 is riding on this, man! Get it together and do it! I know RM530 seems little, but to me, after 5 months of RM0, it’s an upgrade I never thought I’d get. #suckitup

Day 6 (23.3.2020 - Monday)

Monday has arrived. I am refreshed, I have my mind set on the epilepsy article I am gonna write and the copy-editing project from the marketing department. I’m all set. I sent my interview questions to both the people I am meant to talk to. Under the current situation, I am not able to talk to them so email is the next best thing. Except an interview over Zoom would have been better, but they can’t seem to make it. Being researchers and lecturers and all, they don’t have much time on their hands…. unlike me. Anyway, that’s done. Now, continuing the project. Ohhhhmaaaiiiigaaa…

Day 5 (22.3.2020 - Sunday)

Oh Sunday. It was a really awesome Sunday service. It was truly something I think we all needed. The praise and worship was amazing, and allowed me to just soak in worship. Despite all the chaos and fear that I have in my heart and mind, I felt a peace wash over me. Suddenly I realised that the only reason for the fear in my heart is the unknown. But every “next step” we take is an unknown anyway, so why fear this one? I will keep praying, staying home, except during essential buys, washing my hands, working and doing pretty much everything I always do WITHOUT having fear in my heart.

Day 4 (21.3.2020 - Saturday)

What a total frickin crap-show! The numbers are increasing and I’ll tell you the truth, I’m afraid. Every time I wash my hands, I can’t stop wondering if I’ve washed them enough. There is just too much stake. My dad, his lungs are really not good and I am worried about what would happen should one of us get careless and carry this virus home from some essential grocery shopping. The only comfort I have right now is that my God is bigger. I know my God is bigger than all of this. I know my God is bigger than all of this!

Day 3 (20.3.2020 - Friday)

I know I wished for an eventful 2020, but my goodness, enough already! 

OMGIF already?? So, suddenly, the number of the infected in Malaysia hit 1000+. That is really too much! Who’s to blame? Why are there still cow dungs out and about on the roads, meeting friends and speaking their essentials words and letting their spits flow freely in the world and into each others’ ears? Don’t they know of a phone? There’s WhatsApp, Zoom, Hangout, Telegram, frickin Signal, Line, FB Messenger…heck, everything has a caller these days! *checks if Tinder has a caller* Not Tinder, thank goodness. Just…ugh…stop going out. *breathes* Meanwhile, my lovely brother gave us all his homemade Ais Malaysia and it was lovely! Like, it hasn’t properly rained in quite a few weeks now, and it is sooo hot. That Ais Malaysia was truly somewhat of a saving grace. And to top it off, my darling little sister made o-maki sushi, with the tuna and everything. Superb! Anyways, all things considered, the numbers locally are not too bad, is it? Is it? I’ll just have to keep washing my hands… “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…”

Day 2 (19.3.2020 - Thursday)

#tbt like #tbeverydayforthelast5months ! 

This MCO doesn’t really make much of a difference for me since I was not working the last five months. This time around though, I wash my hands more, go out lesser, and can’t go out even if I wanted to. You know what? The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Home Edition is super awesome! I love it. It’s a breath of fresh air so I’ll have that to enjoy over this period. When we get out of this, I don’t think my hands will make it out “alive”. The number of times I wash my hands to the first verse of “Lose Yourself” is nuts!

Day 1 (18.3.2020 - Wednesday)

So, I started this to keep track of what is happening in this lovely, wonderful, fantastic nation during the Movement Control Order and also to me, as a… non-essential employee. Coz as long as I’m not working, I am not paid. Ok, let me rephrase that. As long as I am not present AT the office, then I’m not paid. Never been in this position, kinda worrying, but thankfully, I do have projects to complete to get me some kinda cash. Don’t know how its all gonna pan out. I am leaving all these worries to the Lord Almighty coz I know there is nothing I can do to change anything happening around me other than pray and stay home. These daily entries will be filled with dramatics and descriptive nothings, coz seriously, I can’t imagine another two weeks at home. So I AM gonna add some spice to this. Alright, so, first day was…err…normal. How’s that for spice? Whaaaat? I don’t know what to say in this okay? I am just…I just wanna remember what I went thru so…