#looks at this forlornly

[geoledgy]

Old thing I drew for Freak Fest RP

[gresit]

MONKEY MAN (2024) dir. Dev Patel

[izzystizzys]

Half the jobs Fox is sent on are not within his jurisdiction. This certainly isn’t.

Planetary protection unit, they said. Military police. Orbital security force.

And now Fox is being pointed at Count Dooku on some backwater planet and told to fetch. How the mighty have fallen.

He’s pretty sure Kenobi, Skywalker and their units could’ve karked this all up perfectly fine on their lonesome; they don’t need three Guardsmen there to watch them do it. But the Chancellor says jump and Fox surpressed the urge to bash his head in with a durasteel chair. So it goes.

Which is when things start going terribly, terribly wrong, of course.

“Is that Spinder?!”, Skywalker exclaims, arms wheeling out in the air wildly to try and catch his balance. “The Count fucks?!”

Across the room, Cody rips his helmet off, several shades redder than a baseline human should be. “The Count fucks my brother?!”

Two lightsticks hover uselessly in the air, Skywalker’s zig-zagging in a relentless hum with his gesturing. Fox stands stock-still, in the hope that maybe he’ll spontaneously turn invisible if he does. Around them, 501st and 212th troopers gape through helmets. Behind him, Nuisance gasps for air amidst screaming laughter.

Ping, went Fox’s comm unit, in that unmistakeable lascivious jingle sound. Ping, answered Count Dooku’s within a split second. Match found close by.

For a moment, Fox considers what it would be like to run at the Count’s lightsaber at full speed.

…not like that.

“Count”, Kenobi says, with a face like he’s bitten into a rotten fruit. Not that Fox knows what fruit tastes like. “This is a highly… unexpected development.” He fwoosh-es his lightsaber shut, obviously having given up on fighting. “I’d call it a conflict of interest, but I’m not sure that applies?”

“Oh, it’s gonna be a conflict of something, for sure”, Cody hisses, fists clenched at his sides. He looks about ready to boil over, with Crys and Waxer inching closer in preparation. “What have you done to my brother, you monster?!”

“I don’t think you want to know that, Commander”, Nuisance gasps out between barks of laughter, proving why he’s eternally Fox’s least favourite. Cody’s splotchy red complexion slowly fades into ghostly white as a sheen of horror settles over the room. “Thanks for the fancy chocolate bouquet last week, Count!”

Dooku, who has been thus far staring at the floor with an empty thousand-klick stare, looks up at that. Fox has seldom seen a man that defeated outside of the mirror, he has to admit - but shudders when he remembers exactly what the chocolates were for.

Oh Force, he’s sexted Count Dooku into buying him gifts. Does that make him a Seppie spy? Traitor by proxy?

“I feel”, says the Count, gravely, still holding his long red laserknife in a white-knuckled death-grip, “that I have been taken for a fool.”

“Uh”, says Fox, nervously. All eyes snap to him. Oh Force, oh Force, oh Force. They’re going to invent a whole new kind of decommissioning for this and name it after Fox.

“Is it really scamming if you actually get what you pay for?”, asks Grids, considering. Fox slowly pulls off his helmet just for the comforting feeling of burying his head in his gloved palms. The sounds of a struggle ensue, and Kenobi makes a choked-off noise. Maybe if he’s embarrassed enough he’ll give himself an aneurysm.

“Grandmaster, why are you paying people for naked pictures of themselves on the holonet?!” Kenobi asks, despairingly. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Oi, no one said I was naked!”, Fox exclaims, head whipping up.

“So naked”, Nuisance laughs, palm thumping against the floor. He might be crying.

“I’m not decrepit”, the Count blusters, and Skywalker makes a gagging noise. “I have - there are needs, and they are perfectly natural!” It takes three troopers to restrain Cody from launching himself at the Count.

[noeybodys]

man

[flame-cat]

obsessed with Kim kitsuragi and how good he is at hiding his wetpatheticsadness. he's so so good at it he even fooled Harry can opener du bois. he even fooled himself. he's a tin soldier. nothing but thin walls and hollow insides. he has hobbies but only indulges them so privately that no one else knows about them. he doesn't even make time to eat unless you bat your eyelashes at him. he wants to punch the little cardboard pieces out of the new board game but won't let you know until after you've already done it. he asks you if doing speed helped you be a better detective not to reprimand you but because he's considering doing it himself. he has a little blue notebook containing all of his thoughts that you can never look inside (blue is for mystery. / the blue heart. don't look into it). he falls so madly in love with a complete disaster of a messy bear within 4 days of meeting him he can take a bullet for him and defend him against his own institution and nurse him back to health while sitting vigil for 2 days with no sleep. all because the guy is fun and likes to get to know him and thinks he's cool. he thinks about Harry's girthy biceps for what is assumedly at least a day or two. he only lets himself have one cigarette a day unless harry doesn't suggest he transfer to the 41st, a rule he never breaks otherwise even when he was concussed and alone. he even has autism

[achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily]

solidarity lament with my fellow latino ashkenazim. they want us to drop chametz AND corn AND rice AND beans???? what am i supposed to put all my salsa on

[obstinaterixatrix]

Hi everyone. I’m at a work party where I’m the newer(ish) person and don’t know anybody here at all. The food’s great tho.

[greelin]

was going to ask what the diagnosis was for wanting men who look like this. but then i realized i already know

[ink-blot-thoughts]

FONTAINE SPOILERS

OK so on one hand whyyyy did Childe have to be unconscious I wanted to see him react to Skirk but on the other

Skirk treating Childe like he's the exact same dumbass 14 year old he was when she last saw him, yeeting him one handed through the portal, referring to him exclusively as "My disciple" and having to stop herself and rephrase when she realised she claimed Childe wouldn't try to fight the whale 😭. She knows him so well and i will fight you if you claim she doesn't care cause of the weak comment, he's just her dumb weak murder gremlin babey.

Also HE FOUGHT THE WHALE FOR A MONTH NON STOP WITHOUT HIS VISION SIR ARE YOU OKAY?!?!

Please Skirk is cracking me up. Also i still wish we couldve had battle hardned Skirk but I do like the transparent galaxy glass look on her limbs. Also hoyo why did Childe just get shipped off at the end, come on let me have one conversation with him please :')

[kuriipi]

Blitz and Stolas are so down bad for each other and yet at the same time are simultaneously convinced the other could under no circumstance care for them in a way that isn't primal carnal attraction...

Get me out of the simulation i hate (affectionate) these idiots!😭😭

[beanmaster-pika]

I bet when Silver was very small he just called Malleus by name but eventually someone told him that they’re supposed to address him with a title and he stopped and Malleus, whose whole thing is that his status and strength have prevented him from forming meaningful attachments with most people and he feels isolated because of it, went home and didn’t come out of his room for three days.

[themostdearofspaghettis]

Anyway back to podcasting nonsense

Just listened to the crossover between Amelia Project and Midnight Burger and it was sheer audacity for Arthur to laugh when Caspar was talking about how long he’s lived (he is a baby in comparison but still) like he’s not also an old man with more severe memory issues and also not an insignificant cocoa addiction (who’s to say really if those things are related I certainly couldn’t)

[kittykatninja321]

I think Jason should get to smash the memorial glass case at least once it’s unfair that everyone else gets to do it except him

[lotus-pear]

am i the only one who couldn't take dazai's farewell to chuuya seriously bc chuuya was too busy gurgling the water in the bg💀💀

[goldenwaves]

before / after

[phy-be]

over 100k words on this draft, only two chapters left, I CAN'T WAIT to be done and celebrate 😭