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arysafics · 6 years ago

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Now I’m Addicted

Chapter Eight

Normally, Clarke really looks forward to getting away to the beach for a weekend, just her and Wells. This year, the thought makes her queasy.

Clarke had been partly relieved to move make home with Wells. Living in a hotel had kind of sucked, and living alone was even worse. She still doesn’t know if she made the right decision. But she promised him she’d try, so she’s going to try.

And yes, it’s Bellamy she really wants, and not Wells. But she can’t have Bellamy. Bellamy doesn’t want her, and Wells does. So maybe she’s settling for second best, but it’s better than being alone for the rest of her life.

Despite her best intentions, and the fact that she really is trying, she’s not ready to go away with Wells alone. She’s worried the trip will just magnify all the holes in their relationship, before they’ve had a chance to really fix them. She doesn’t want to cancel the trip completely, so she suggests inviting a few other people to join them. Wells agrees surprisingly easily. Actually, he’s been very accommodating the past couple of weeks, almost like he’s walking on eggshells around her, afraid she’ll up and run again. But the truth is he doesn’t really have anything to worry about. Now that Clarke knows she has no shot with Bellamy, she has no reason to leave him. She wishes there was some way to prove that to him, so they can get start getting back to normal.

The beach house is huge, and Clarke thinks it’s probably worth a hell of a lot of money if Wells ever decides to sell it. Thelonius Jaha had left most of his money to charity when he died, but he left Wells the beach house. Not to sound selfish, but if Clarke’s mom does that, she’s going to be super pissed.

Clarke invites Octavia and Raven, and they both decide they’re bringing their partners. Monty and Harper can’t make it, and Jasper and Miller don’t want to hang around a bunch of couples for the whole weekend. So Clarke figures it’s going to be six people in the five bedroom house, with each couple getting their own bathroom. She’s actually looking forward to it.

But then she gets a call from Bellamy. She’s on the train home from work, and she almost drops her phone when she sees his name pop up. She dithers for a moment, her heart pounding, before she finally decides to answer.

“Hi,” she says, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Clarke,” he says, and the sound of her name on his tongue makes her knees go weak.

“What’s up?” she asks him. He’s obviously calling for a reason. And that reason is probably not to tell her how madly in love with her he is, however many times she’s envisioned that scenario in her mind’s eye.

“Uh, well…” he starts. “Octavia asked me if I wanted to come to the beach with you guys this weekend.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, I figured I should check if it was okay with you first.”

“You really want to come?” Clarke asks. She kind of figured he was avoiding her.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Bellamy says. “I could really do with a vacation,” he laughs. Clarke squeezes her eyes shut, her stomach twisting at the familiar sound of his laugh. How had she not figured out sooner that she was in love with him?

“Of course it’s fine,” Clarke says, because why wouldn’t it be? They aren’t sleeping together anymore, so they don’t have to worry about Wells. As far as either of them are concerned, they’re just distant friends. Or acquaintances maybe.

“Great,” Bellamy says. “Is it okay if I bring someone?”

Clarke hesitates, probably too long. “Sure,” she says quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed her hesitation. No, she doesn’t want him to bring his girlfriend, and no, she doesn’t want to think about what it means that he’s only been dating Echo barely a month and yet he’s bringing her on a weekend away with all their friends.

“Okay. I guess I’ll see you Friday.”

“Okay,” Clarke swallows. “See you then.”

The prospect of seeing Bellamy scares Clarke to death. She hasn’t seen him since A: she realised she was in love with him, and B: he broke her fucking heart. So yeah, she’s a little nervous to say the least.

Wells doesn’t seem to notice, though she’s mostly silent on the drive to the beach house. Or perhaps he’s just letting her have her space. Either way, she’s glad he’s not questioning her about it. There’s only so many times a person can use the excuse I’m just tired before it starts to seem like a lie.

Clarke and Wells get there first and claim the master bedroom. Clarke unpacks her suitcase into the wardrobe, to keep herself busy. The task doesn’t really keep her mind off Bellamy though, and she keeps listening for a car in the driveway, her heart pounding rapidly.

Octavia, Niylah, Raven, and Shaw arrive together, and Clarke finally has a suitable distraction from her thoughts, as she’d introduced properly to Niylah for the first time, and Raven and Octavia start telling a story about The Worst Driver in the World they encountered on their way here.

She’s so caught up in Octavia’s theatrics, she doesn’t even notice at first when Bellamy and Echo walk in the front door. That is until Octavia cuts herself off midsentence to greet her brother.

“Hey, you made it!” she says, walking over and giving him a hug. Clarke freezes, her heart suddenly lodged in her throat. Bellamy’s eyes seem to scan over the group until they land on Clarke. She smiles weakly, feeling like a nervous wreck. Fucking hell, he looks so good. And if in the back of her mind she’d harboured some doubt about whether or not she’s actually in love with him, that vanishes when he smiles back at her, and her heart squeezes itself so tight she can’t breathe. Not only that, but he pussy starts to throb, as if it can sense he’s close. Yeah, letting him come here was a huge mistake.

“Bellamy,” Wells says, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

Oops. She may have forgotten to tell Wells. Or rather, purposefully not told him because it was too hard to even say Bellamy’s name out loud.

“I did ask Clarke if it was okay,” he mentions.

“He did,” Clarke manages, finding her voice. “I guess I forgot to tell you.”

“All good, I guess. You’re here now. And who is this?” Wells nods to the tall brunette standing next to Bellamy. Clarke hates her on sight. With one glance at Octavia, Clarke can tell she isn’t impressed with the arrival of Echo either.

“Ah, this is my girlfriend, Echo,” Bellamy introduces. “Echo, this is… everyone.”

Hearing Bellamy call Echo his girlfriend sends a dagger through Clarke’s heart. And it’s not like she hadn’t known she was his girlfriend. But hearing him actually say it out loud is something else entirely.

“Girlfriend, huh, Blake?” Raven teases. “Seems like someone is finally settling down.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes. “Give it a rest, Raven. We’ve only been dating a month.”

“Only a month and she’s already your girlfriend though,” Raven continues. She turns to Echo. “I guess you’re the one to finally tame the wild beast,” she winks.

Echo smirks. “We’ll see,” she says, glancing at Bellamy flirtatiously. Bellamy looks a little uncomfortable by the whole exchange. Clarke wants to throw up.

“Who wants alcohol?” she announces, heading for the kitchen where Wells had stocked the fridge with beer and cider earlier.

They all end up in the outdoor area out the back of the house, drinks in hand and an array of finger foods on the table in front of them. Echo is sitting in Bellamy’s lap, playing with his hair, laughing too hard at his jokes. Clarke tries to keep her eyes averted, but she burns with jealousy. She wants to be the one sitting in his lap and playing with his hair, feeling his hard cock pressing into her, teasing him until he can’t think straight. She also wants to kick Echo in the face. Instead, she tightens her grip on her bottle of cider and snuggles into Wells’ side. It’s not because she’s trying to make Bellamy jealous. She’s not dumb enough to think he would even care. But she doesn’t want him to know how much she’s affected by his new relationship. So she’s a little more affectionate with Wells than she normally is. The alcohol probably helps.

“Who wants to play a drinking game?” Octavia asks.

“I’m in,” Raven says. “What are we playing?”

“You know, I think I’m a little old for drinking games,” Bellamy grimaces. He looks to Echo. “You want to go to bed?”

“You know I do,” Echo says, leaning in to kiss him.

“Gross,” Octavia says, voicing Clarke’s thoughts for her. “We won’t miss you.”

“Hey, you invited me,” Bellamy reminds her as he and Echo stand up. Clarke watches them head inside, hand in hand. To her surprise, Bellamy glances back for a moment and meets her eyes. She quickly looks away, pressing a kiss to Wells’ cheek. Overcompensating maybe. When she looks back to Bellamy, he’s gone.

“Clarke? Wells? You want to play?” Octavia asks.

“I actually think maybe we should go to bed too,” Clarke says. Somehow the thought of Bellamy and Echo alone in their room is worse than actually being able to see them together, and Clarke feels totally sober all of a sudden.

“Sounds good to me,” Wells grins. “See you guys in the morning.”

“Party poopers!” Raven calls after them as they go back inside.

Despite what Wells might think, Clarke’s intentions are just to go straight to sleep. Only, once she’s in her pyjamas, and under the covers, she begins to hear… noises through the wall. More specifically, the sound of Echo moaning like a mad woman.

Clarke groans, putting her pillow over her face as Wells gets into bed beside her.

“God, I hope we don’t have to listen to that all night,” he says. “Surely he can’t be that good in bed?”

Clarke knows for a fact that he is that good. Although Echo does sound completely ridiculous moaning like that. Clarke likes to think her own moans are much sexier. She does realise that even though she can hear Echo quite clearly, she can’t really hear Bellamy at all. She takes some satisfaction in the notion that maybe he’s not having as much fun with Echo as he did with Clarke.

Clarke turns over on her side to face Wells. “Fuck me,” she commands him.

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“Are you actually turned on by that?” Wells snorts.

“I just think we can outdo them.”

“Clarke, you’re not that loud in bed. I don’t think you can outdo Echo,” Wells rolls his eyes. “You know, that name actually suits her come to think of it.”

Clarke snorts. As much as she’d like to hang shit on Echo and her ridiculous name for the rest of the night, what she really wants is to get fucked. “I can be loud,” Clarke tells him. “Watch me.”

Wells doesn’t need to be told twice. And okay, pretty much all of Clarke’s noises are fake. But she’s pretty sure a lot of Echo’s are too. Sure, Bellamy is great in bed, but Echo sounds like she’s literally being murdered in the next room.

Clarke pretends to come when Wells comes, but even then, they can still hear Echo through the walls.

“How are they still going?” Wells asks incredulously. Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Let’s just go to sleep now, okay?” she huffs. She squeezes her eyes shut tight and tries to drown out the sounds of Echo.

Clarke is awake early the next morning, long before anyone else will be up. Wells is still snoring softly next to her. It’s already warming up outside, and Clarke decides to take advantage of the solitude and go for a walk along the beach. She dresses in a pair of short shorts and a tank top and heads downstairs, stopping in the kitchen to grab a glass of water before she goes.

As she fills her glass at the sink, she looks out the kitchen window to see Bellamy lounging in the hammock on the front porch, reading, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts that Clarke swears are almost as tiny as her own. God, he’s so fucking sexy.

She lets herself watch him, his brow furrowed in concentration as he reads. She smiles to herself, her heart soft for him. So he has a girlfriend. She can still be in love with him and be his friend, right? It’s totally possible.

She puts down her glass and walks out onto the front porch. Bellamy looks up as the door slams behind her. He sits up, closing his book. His eyes rake over her body, lingering on her tits. She feels her clit twinge. So it’s not that he’s not attracted to her then.

“Hey,” she says. “I’m just going for a walk along the beach. Do you want to come?”

Bellamy considers. “Yeah, okay,” he agrees. He swings himself off the hammock, more gracefully than what Clarke would ever be able to manage, and follows her down the front steps.

They walk in silence towards the beach, Clarke with her hands in her back pockets for lack of something better to do with them. Because what she really wants to do is slip her hand into his. Or maybe just grab his face and kiss him.

It’s a five-minute walk until they reach the ocean, and it’s cooler out in the open air, and a little windy. The breeze blows through Bellamy’s already tousled locks, making him look like he’s in a beach themed photoshoot.

“So, uh, you and Echo, huh?” Clarke says. Why, she has no idea. She does not want to hear Bellamy gush about his girlfriend. “Seems like things are going well. If what I heard last night is anything to go by.”

Bellamy snorts. “You heard that, huh?”

“How could I not?”

“I will admit she’s a little over the top. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she was faking it sometimes,” Bellamy admits.

“And how do you know better?”

Bellamy smirks. “Come on, Clarke. Don’t pretend like I didn’t make you come over and over and over.”

Clarke shivers. Fucking hell, does he have to make her want him so bad? “So we’re talking about that are we?”

Bellamy shrugs. “We don’t have to. How are things going with Wells, now that you’re…?”

“Back together?” Clarke finishes for him. Bellamy stops, staring at her. His jaw ticks.

“Back together?” he repeats. Clarke’s eyes widen as she realises what she’s said. “I was going to say monogamous.” Bellamy swallows. “You and Wells broke up? When? I mean… Octavia never said—”

“She doesn’t know,” Clarke says quickly. Her face burns. “I didn’t tell anyone. So please don’t mention it. No one knows.”

“Okay,” Bellamy nods. He seems unable to look at her now. They continue walking.

“It was right after… you ended things with me. And it was only for like a week. I guess I just wanted to see if being with Wells was what I really wanted,” Clarke shrugs.

Bellamy turns his head towards her sharply, his eyes piercing into her. “And it is, then?”

Clarke swallows. “Yes.”

An uncomfortable silence follows. Clarke isn’t sure why. All she knows is she’s completely on edge, half of her desperate to confess everything to him, the other half desperate to hold onto her pride. The prideful side of her wins out.

“You want to go swimming?” she says. Anything to break the silence.

“What?”

“The water looks so nice,” Clarke continues. She tilts her head at him, waiting to see if he’s coming.

“I think I’ll pass,” he says. Clarke shrugs, as if to say suit yourself, and then she pulls her tank top over her head and her shorts over her ass. She can feel him watching her strip down to her underwear, and she’s totally not doing this to get a reaction from him, but if it turns him on too then she’s not complaining.

She looks back over her shoulder as she heads towards the water. He’s still watching her. She can’t help a smirk from spreading across her face.

The water is freezing, but Clarke forces herself to wade in anyway. She reaches her waist then dives under the water. She breaks the surface again, gasping from the cold, flicking her hair out of her eyes. She stands up, the water just reaching her breasts.

“Come on!” she yells to Bellamy. “It’s not cold, I swear!”

“You’re lying!” he yells back, but he’s very clearly smiling.

“Don’t be such a chicken!”

Bellamy shakes his head, laughing. But then he’s walking towards her and into the water.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bellamy swears as he gets deeper. “It’s fucking freezing, Clarke!”

“It’s not that bad!”

He dives under the water and surfaces half a metre from her. “You’re insane,” he tells her.

“Yet you followed me anyway.”

“You’re too persuasive.”

Clarke pokes her tongue out, and then splashes him. Bellamy raises an eyebrow, smirking.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Griffin,” he challenges, stepping towards her.

“Oh, what are you going to do?” she teases. He lunges for her and she turns away, trying to escape his grasp half-heartedly, but he grabs her around the waist, pulling her back flush against his chest.

“No, don’t!” she squeals, laughing.

“Do you surrender?” he asks, lips against her ear. Clarke squirms, trying not to think about his wet skin against hers. But it feels like he’s touching her everywhere, and her head swims and her cunt pulses with need. She wonders if he’s hard right now, but she doesn’t dare make a move to find out.

“I surrender,” she tells him, and he lets her go. She turns around, but she doesn’t put any distance between them. His eyes flick to her lips and she wills him to kiss her.

“Clarke,” he says hoarsely. “I really want to kiss you.”

“So kiss me,” she murmurs.

Bellamy shakes his head. “I have a girlfriend, Clarke. I’m not going to cheat on her.” Right, Echo. “We should head back,” Bellamy sighs, stepping away from her. Disappointed, but knowing it’s better this way, Clarke follows him back up to the sand. She grabs her clothes from the ground but doesn’t put them back on yet.

“We should wash the salt and sand off before we go,” Clarke says, nodding her head towards the public bathroom by the carpark. There’s an outdoor shower around the side of the brick building. Clarke gets under first, and the water is cold but not as cold as the ocean. She closes her eyes to let the water fall over her face, and opens them to find Bellamy looking at her strangely.

“What?” she asks.

“You know your underwear is totally see-through right now, right?”

Clarke had not known, but when she looks down now, she can see that he’s right. The white material of her bra and panties clings to her, the water having turned them so transparent it’s like she isn’t wearing anything at all.

“Oh,” she says. “You’re right.” She looks back up at him. “You waited a long time to tell me that,” she points out. He must have noticed as soon as they got out of the water. And he definitely hasn’t been not looking at her.

Bellamy flushes. “Clarke—”

“I guess there’s no point in wearing them at all then,” Clarke shrugs. She reaches behind her to unclasp her bra and lets it fall from her chest. Then she peels off her panties and throws them to the side where her shorts and tank top sit.

“Fucking hell, Clarke,” Bellamy groans, shaking his head.

“We’re wasting water,” Clarke says, she reaches out and grabs his arm, tugging him into the shower with her. He’s stronger than her, he could resist easily, if he wanted to. He doesn’t.

He doesn’t move to touch her, but he’s so close that her nipples brush his chest, and he’s looking down at her with dark eyes, filled with want.

“Why are you like this?” he asks. Is that an insult or a compliment?

“Like what?”

“Irresistible,” he murmurs. His hands come to rest of her waist, and then he leans down, capturing her lips between his. Clarke whimpers as she closes her eyes, her arms circling around his neck. The water shuts off automatically, but Clarke barely notices. Bellamy presses her against the brick wall behind her, crushing her tits against his chest. He’s kissing her like his life depends on it, desperate and messy, like he’s trying to remind her she’s alive. She’d almost forgotten what it’s like to be kissed by him, and now that she remembers she doesn’t ever want him to stop again. She needs him to remind her how it feels to be fucked, really fucked. She wants him to fill her throbbing cunt with his cock, and come with him deep inside her.

“Bell, fuck me,” she moans. “I need you, I need you.”

“You need me, huh?” he says. “You need your pussy filled? You need my cock inside you?”

“Yes. Please. Please.”

“Of course you do, baby,” he murmurs, slipping a hand between her legs. “Bet you missed being fucked properly, didn’t you?”

“Uh huh,” Clarke nods as Bellamy plays with her clit. “I missed you so much.”

“Missed me? Or missed my cock?” He pushes two fingers inside her and she gasps.

“Both,” she moans. She tugs at his shorts, and he helps her pull them down to free his cock. “Oh god,” she groans. “I forgot how big it is. I need it inside me.”

“I know, baby, I know,” Bellamy coos. He kisses her again, gripping her ass, hoisting her up so she can wrap her legs around him. He presses the bulging head of his cock against her entrance, and then he’s pushing inside her, stretching her pussy good and wide. Clarke almost comes right then.

Her back is against the bricks, and she clutches his back as he thrusts into her.

“Yes,” she gasps. “Fuck me, baby. Fuck me, fuck me.”

Bellamy moans and the sound sends shockwaves through her. He drives into her over and over, the pressure building inside her. She needs to come so bad, and she’s right there on the edge. I love you, she thinks. I love you, I love you. And it would be so easy to let it slip off her tongue right now, in this moment of bliss. But instead she just cries his name as she comes, her walls clenching around him as she comes all over his cock.

“Come inside me,” Clarke moans as he continues fucking her against the wall. “I need your come in me.”

“Anything you want,” Bellamy groans, letting his seed spill inside her, filling her up with his come. It leaks out of her as he pulls his cock out of her and lets her back onto the ground. Bellamy steps back, pulling his shorts back up, not bothering to clean himself up. She wonders if he’s feeling guilty. He grabs her clothes and hands them to her, and Clarke quickly puts her wet underwear back on and then her shorts and top. Bellamy looks away, as if he hadn’t just had his hands all over her naked body.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Bellamy nods.

“What about Echo?”

Bellamy considers. “She doesn’t have to know.”

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #mine

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haeroniel-doliet · 7 years ago

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gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now) and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it.

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now.

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it. i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess.

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have a ballet company idk.

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim.

#ballet an hobbies and thoughts and lots of things.#honestly noneed to read

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paralysedbyts · 7 years ago

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Bridges burn... ... at least I did one thing right

Taylor was right her bridges do burn, let us take a look at all of Taylor's burning bridges:

If you and I are a story that never gets told, if you and I are a daydream I'll never get to hold at least you'll know

You say that the past is the past, you need one chance, it was a moment of weakness and you said yes

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet, ill catch you, ill catch you, when people say things that bring you to your knees ill catch you, the times is going to come when you are so mad you cry, but ill hold you through the night until you smile

you played in bars, you play guitar, I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are, and youll never sing, sing me to sleep, every night from the radio

And ill scream out the window, I cant even look at you, I don't need you, but I do I do I do, ill say theres nothing you can say to make this right again, I mean it, I mean it, what I mean is

back then I swore I was going to marry him someday, but I realised some bigger dreams of mine, and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind and we both cried.

hey Stephan, I could give you 50 reasons why I should be the girl you chose, all those other girls, well they are beautiful, but would they write a song for you

And there you are on your knees begging for forgiveness begging for me, just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night, I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know youre about to cry, I know your favourites songs and you tell me about your dreams, I think I know where you belong, I think i know its with me

its 2am feeling like I just lost a friend, hope you know its not easy easy for me

why do you have to make me feel small, so you can feel whole inside, and why do you have to put down my dreams so you are the only thing in my mind

you had me crawling for you honey and it never would've gone away np, you used to shine so bright but I watched our loving fade

he cant see the smile I'm faking and my hearts not breaking cause I'm not feeling anything at all, and you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating intoxicating, complicated, got away by some mistake and now

tonight we'll stand, get off our knees, fight for what we've worked for all these years, and the battle was long, its the fight of our lives and we'll stand up champions tonight

lets be real, every speak now bridge

this is the state of grace, this is the worthwhile fight, love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right, these are the hands of fate, youre my Achilles heel, this is the golden age of something good and right and real

remembering him comes in flash backs and echoes ell myself its time now got to let go, but moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red

two headlines shine through the sleepless night and I would get you and get you alone, you name echoes through my mind and I just think you should think you should know, that nothing safe is worth the drive, and I would follow you, follow you home, ill follow you, follow you home

and the saddest fears comes creeping in, that you never loved me or her or anyone or anything

maybe we got lost in translation maybe I asked for too much, but maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you torn it all up, running scared I was there I remember it all too well, hwy you call me up again just to break me like a promise so casually cruel in the name of being honest, I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying her cause I remember it all all all too well, time wont fly its like I'm paralysed by it, id like to be my old self again but I'm still trying to find it after plaid shirt days and those nights where you made me your own, now I mail back your things and I walk home alone, but you keep my own scarf from the very first week, cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me, you cant get rid of it cause you remember it all too well

we made quiet a mess babe, its probably better off this way and I confess babe in my dreams I am touching your face and asking me if I want to trying again with you and I almost do

distance, timing breakdown, fighting silence train runs off its tracks kiss me try to fix it, could you just try to listen, hang up, give up for the life of us we cant get back

it was a few years later I showed up here and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared, how you took your money and you dignity and got the hell out, they say you bought a bunch of land somewhere, chose the rose garden over madison square, it took sometime but I understand it know, cause now my names in up in lights, but I think you got it right

like any great love it keeps you guessing, like any real love its ever changing, like any truth love it drives you crazy, but you know you wouldnt change anything anything anything

boys only want love if its torture, don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you

remember when you hit the breaks too soon, 2o stitches in a hospital room, you started crying, I did too, when the sun came up I was looking at you, remember when we couldn't take the heat I walked out and said i'm setting you free but the monster turned out to be just trees, when the sun came up you were looking a me

band aids don't fix bullet holes, you say sorry just for show, if you life like that you live with ghosts, band aids don't fix bullet holes you say sorry just for show, if you live like that you live with ghosts, if you love like that blood runs cold

youll see me in hindsight tangled uo with you all night burning it down, someday when you leave me, I bet these memories with follow you around

your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave, you smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees, when youre young you just run, but you come back to what you need.

they take their shots but we are bullet proof, and you know for me its always you, in the dead of night your eyes so green, I know for you its always me

10 months sober I must admit just because youre clean don't mean you don't miss it, 10 older I wont give in, now that I'm clean I'm never going to risk it

I reached for you but you were gone, I knew I had to go back home, you searched the world for omethign else to make you feel like what we had, but in the end in wonderland we both went mad

so it goes you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round, he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown, you understand now why they lost your minds and fought the wars, and I spent my whole life trying to put it into words

I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me, ill be the actress staring in your bad dreams

you make me so happy it turns back to sad, there is nothing I hate more than what I cant have, you are so goregus it makes me so mad, you make me so happy it turns back to sad there is nothing I hate more than what I cant have, guess ill just stumble on home to my cats, alone, unless you want to come along

I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck, chain round my neck not because he owns me, because he really knows me, which is more than they can say, I recall late November, holding my breath, slowly I said, you don't k=have to save me, but would you run away with me yes

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belt-on · 7 years ago

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A Guide To Chinchillas

This is mostly for me, but if anyone wants a little guide for chinnies than here you go! **I am not a vet, (at least not yet ouo) but I have been ab owner of three different chinchillas for almost four years now and maybe the information I have is useful to someone out there*** Lifespan -Chinchillas can live OVER 20 years! Mind you this is in close to perfect conditions and you would be more likely to find one living around 10 years, give or take. Caging -I HIGHLY suggest a Ferret Nation cage (or something strong enough to hold them). I would only suggest a one story cage if you're only getting ONE chinchilla, it gets super overcrowded really fast if you get two and put them together in a one story. Even my two story for my two chins feels too small Frienddssss -Chinchillas are social animals. They may be alright all alone but be sure to spend a lot of time with them. When Fluffy was alone he mainly slept and stayed quiet, with Thero around he's gotten a lot more active, friendly and vocal!! -Chinchillas might get anxious if they are alone, this is of course a given when they are moved from a store/breeder location to a new one, but if months pass and they are still stressed out you may want to consider getting a second chinchilla... Water -ALWAYS supply water, also don't make the mistake I made and just buy the god damn expensive glass water bottle. Trust me they WILL destory those plastic one -glares at Fluffy, three chewed water bottles laying at his feet- Hay -Timothy!!! Always have Timothy on hand. If you want to be 100% serious about this you might have to buy hay bales from a farm supplier or a bulk store that can be trusted. Some pet stores are known to sell old hay. If theres a date on the hay package, check it and get the lastest harvested bag. -They CAN have Alfalfa, not too much though! Its more of a treat. Feed them a light handful twice a week if you want especially while regulating their Calcium levels. Pellets -Always a timothy based pellet!! No mixes either that include "super beneficial veg and fruits!!" Its far from beneficial. Straight up pellets work best. Trust me they can and will get diarrhoea, once I spent an hour picking pellets from their food because I didn't want them eating the other stuff. Here's the prime values you should look for too: 16-20% of Protein 2-5% Fats/Lipids 15-35% Fibre Always more Ca than P, they can get a calcium deficiency from a higher Phosphorus percentage, and that can be life or death. Treats -No raisins, of fruits (dried or fresh). Or any of the other obvious stuff like chocolate and chips. They typically can have rosehips, unsweetened cheerios (1-2 at a time), or just about anything but what I listed they can't have. Theres quite a bit make sure to look up a proper list Dust -Blue cloud for sure, I've been using it for the first time after using some gritty low-end store stuff and its the bomb. Ugh perfect. Cage items -Things for them to chew, always. I currentlt have a wooden bridge and a coconut husk in there for them that works just fine for my guys. -Hammocks, both of my boys love their hammock and its absolutely adorable watching them awkwardly fit in it and sleep -Pottys, two is best especially if you have one younger chinchilla. They can pee EVERYWHERE and it smells gross. That thinf about chinchilla pee being odourless is a complete lie, shun anyone who tells you otherwise. Tuck them in corners thats where they like to pee. Watch to see where your chinchilla likes to go the most and put the potty there with some bedding or rodent litter to ensure they won't be sitting in their puddle of pee next time they go. Huts -My guys don't really use this unless they are hiding from me, but some anxious chinchillas might like it. Thero did for his first month and now he uses it occasionally. Foodbowl -Obviously, I have this hay/pellet feed rack that I adore. You can put the hay in a slow feeder and the pellets in the littlw bowl in the front. All my bowls and hay feeders are going to waste. Mineral/salt blocks -stay away from salt blocks YOU DO NOT NEED THEM they get plenty of salts from their food -Mineral blocks are for pregnant and ill chinchillas. Get it in an emergency kit and use it 1-2 times a week for a few hours. I'm currently using it on Thero to regulate his Ca levels Ideal "look" of chinchilla -thick fur, if it looks thin it may be a Vitamin C or Calcium deficiency, get them on some oxbow Vitamin C tablets or better yet bring them to the vet. They might also not be getting enough sand baths -clear eyes. No gunk. I had Fluffy get a gunky eye once and it scared the hell out of me. I got some saline drops and used them for a week until it cleared up (and a little after tocmake sure it was gone). No clue what happened but it worked. Another item to add to an emergency kit. -Missing toes? No worries! Thats actually pretty normal with chinchillas that have been housed together. Fluffy is missing a bunch of toes thanks to (likely) years of harassment from other chinchillas before I got him. They'll be fine. -Clear fur. If you got a white mosaic chinchilla like me you'll know the terror of pee stained fur. To fix this you can add a tablespoon of corn starch to a cup of your dust and mix it. It works!! -Long whiskers, if you have two chinchillas together one might have them bitten down, this is a sign of dominance and usuallt happens between mating pairs. Fluffy had his chewed down by the girls before I got him 😂 - Not fat, but skinny. If you can feel bones your chinchilla is definitely too skinny, your chinchilla is probably obease when they can't jump without falling, Fluffy is oretty thick but he's always been thick, no matter what I do, and he's still pretty active Anything I missed?? Make sure to comment it so other people can see it! I'll do my best to keep on top of adding them to this guide as well

#chinchilla #chinchillas #guide #rodents #rodent #pet #pets #small animals #animals #animal #pet rodents

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araeph · 8 years ago

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I think Sokka's quest for identity is one of the most interesting things about him. What it means to be a man, to be useful and to be acknowledged is an interesting central conflict for a supporting character. What do you think S3 Sokka believes it takes to be a man. I think he's learnt to intercede and mediate issues in his family and to make tough choices. What else can you think of?

Sokka: Now men,it’s important that you show no fear when you face a firebender. In the WaterTribe, we fight to the last man standing. For without courage, how can we callourselves men?

Anotherexcellent question! Sokka’s quest for identity is intrinsically linked to hisquest for manliness, because if you’ll recall, Sokka was not able to become aman by Water Tribe custom before he was nominally put in charge of the tribe:

Bato: How aboutyou, Sokka? You must have some good stories from your first time ice-dodging?Katara: He never got to go. Dad left before he was old enough.Bato: Oh, I forgot, you were too young.Aang: What’s ice-dodging?Bato: It’s a rite of passage for young water tribe members.

But while Katara was helping with the chores, keeping her familytogether and helping to deliver babies, Sokka was left adrift, without apaternal example to emulate for two of his teenage years. War never came to hisdoorstep, so he resorts to “training” the kindergarten crowd. And notice thatKatara (and likely the other members of his tribe) don’t take this seriously:

Katara: Ugh, I’membarrassed to be related to you! Ever since Mom died I’ve been doing all thework around camp while you’ve been off playing soldier!

Playing soldier.Katara’s right: that’s exactly what Sokka has been doing, because therigid gender expectations of being a man don’t allow him to do anything else.Once Aang arrives and upends Sokka’s world, his identity as a would-be mancollides with the reality of the war and the people around him.

The Four Partsof Being a Man (by Sokka)

1. Leader

Sokka : Iknow you all want to fly, but my instincts tell me we should play it safe thistime and walk.Katara: Who made you the boss?Sokka: I’m not the boss—I’m the leader.Katara : You’re the leader? But your voice still cracks!Sokka: I’m the oldest and I’m a warrior. So…I’m the leader!

Katara: You’rehurt. Badly. You can’t fight anymore. Hakoda: Everyone’s counting on me to lead this mission, Katara. Iwon’t let them down. Sokka: Can’t you heal him any faster? Katara: I’m doing everything I can. Sokka: I’ll do it.Katara: No offense Sokka but you’re not exactly Mr. Healing Hands.Sokka: No. I’ll lead the invasion force. Katara: Don’t be crazy, Sokka.Sokka: Maybe I am a little crazy but the eclipse is about to start andwe need to be up that volcano by the time it does.Hakoda: You can do this. I’m proud of you, son. Katara: I still think you’re crazy but I’m proud of you too.

Sokka’s father is the chief, so it makes sense that being a man impliesbeing a leader. But before his adventure, Sokka has only a nebulous idea ofwhat that really means. Worse, he seems to think that being a man makes him aleader, instead of being a leader making him a man. When he first tries toassert his authority in “Jet”, he is met with ridicule:

Aang: Walking stinks!How do people go anywhere without a flying bison?Katara: I don’t know Aang. Why don’t you ask Sokka’s instincts—theyseem to know everything.Sokka: Ha ha. Very funny.Aang: I’m tired of carrying this pack.Katara: You know who you should ask to carry it for a while?Sokka’s Instincts!Aang: That’s a great idea! Hey, Sokka’s Instincts, would you mind—Sokka: Okay, okay—I get it.

As so often happens, Sokka has to adapt to the situation. “Jet” is abouta boy who, although a good leader in most senses, leads his team astray intomurder and mayhem. Sokka, even though he is a novice, realizes innocent livesare on the line and warns the townspeople before the dam explodes. He didn’texpect to be a leader at the moment, but he didn’t fail when it really mattered.Throughout the series, his tactical and strategic successes accumulate untilthe entire GAang relies on him to plan their missions. And on “The Day of BlackSun”, despite his fumbling speech beforehand, Sokka takes the reins of themission and performs admirably.

Aang: It’s over.The Fire Lord is probably long gone. Far away on some remote island where he’llbe safe during the eclipse.Sokka: No. My instincts tell me he wouldn’t go too far. He would have asecret bunker. Somewhere he could go so it’ll be safe during a siege but stillbe close enough to lead his nation.Toph: If it’s an underground secret bunker we’re looking for, I’m justthe girl to find it.

No one’s laughing at Sokka’s instinctsnow.

2. Protector

Katara :Sokka, you’re making a mistake. Sokka: No! I’m keeping my promise to Dad. I’m protecting you fromthreats like him!

Illusion Yue: You didn’t protect me.

Sokka’smother was murdered when he was very young, and there was nothing he could doabout it. He knows from how devastated his father was and how driven he becameto help the war effort that being a man must mean protecting people—especially the women in your life. Sokkaprotects Katara on multiple occasions from threats real (Jet, Mai) and imagined(Aang, Appa). Protecting Katara is his way of protecting the mother he couldn’tsave as a boy. And his inability to protect Yue from sacrificing herself cutshim deeply. He overcompensates by trying to shield Suki from everything:

Suki: Look,I know you’re just trying to help, but I can take care of myself. Sokka: I know you can. Suki: Then why are you acting so over protective?Sokka: It’s so hard to lose someone you care about. Somethinghappened at the North Pole, and I couldn’t protect someone. I don’t wantanything like that to ever happen again.

In the end,Sokka learns how to be protect the people he cares about without stifling them.His shielding of Toph in the finale is very similar to his protecting Katara inthe pilot:

But there’sone key difference: in the pilot, Sokka thought of Katara as someone who ismore in need of protection as a girl. In the finale, Sokka recognizes that Tophcan’t see the falling shards of metal, but respects her fighting ability overand over:

Sokka: Did Imention how sweet it was that you invented metalbending?

Sokka: I am soglad we added you to the group!

3. Warrior

Even morethan being a leader, being a warrior defines being a man in the Water Tribe.And no wonder; with decades of being raided by the ruthless Fire Nation, andwaterbenders being increasingly scarce, the South would have had to rely moreand more on brute strength to drive off the invaders. A warrior is also the onething Sokka is most insecure about because it implies a certain skillset thathe was too young to receive full training in. Not to mention, his sister is awaterbender and he is not. Witness this exchange from “The Warriors of Kyoshi”:

Sokka: Whoare you? Where are the men who ambushed us? Suki: There were no men. We ambushed you. Nowtell us, who are you and what are you doing here? Sokka: Wait a second, there’s no way that a bunch of girls took usdown.

Althoughgender roles are fairly rigid in the Southern Water Tribe, the Sokka from thevery beginning of the series feels an especially constant need to reinforce being awarrior as a “manly” pursuit and puts Katara down for being a girl. I am remindedof Iroh’s speech to Zuko:

Iroh: Prince Zuko,pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source.

Iroh: Truehumility is the only antidote to shame.

Sokka’s status as a nonbender is oftena source of shame for him. He is treated differently by bending masters:

Master Pakku: Sokka. Take care, son.

And even his own teammates:

Toph: We can take‘em. Three on three.Sokka: Actually, Toph, there’s four of us.Toph: Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t count you. You know, no bending and all.Sokka: I can still fight!Toph: Okay. Three on three plus Sokka.

This leads him to act proud of hismanliness, an attribute that he needs no training or bending to have. He eventries to get Aang to act “manlier” and not answer to “Twinkletoes”. In the end,though, he confesses the truth about how he feels:

Sokka: Look, Iappreciate the effort, but the fact is each of you is so amazingand so special, and I’m not. I’m just the guy in the groupwho’s regular.

But Sokka isspecial, and as the series goes on, he proves his mettle with a balance ofoutlandish inventiveness and logical practicality:

Sokka: See, theproblem with the old war balloon was you could get it airborne, but once youdid, it just kept going. You could put a hole in the top, but then allthe hot air would escape. So the question became, how do you keep a lid on hotair? Katara: Ugh, if only we knew. Sokka: A lid is actually the answer. If you control the hot air, youcontrol the war balloon. Katara: Hmm. That’s actually pretty smart.

Sokka: I need a plan of this machine. Some schematics that showwhat the inside looks like. Then we can find it’s weak points. Aang: Where are we gonna get something like that What are youdoing! Someone’s gonna hear us! Sokka: That’s the point. I figure a machine this big needsengineers to run it, and when something breaks…Katara: They come to fix it.

He overcomes his insecurities as a warrior by being true to himself.

Piandao: Sokka,when you first arrived, you were so unsure. You even seemed down on yourself.But I saw something in you right away. I saw a heart as strong as a lionturtle, and twice as big. And as we trained, it wasn’t your skills thatimpressed me. No, it certainly wasn’t your skills. You showedsomething beyond that. Creativity, versatility, intelligence… these arethe traits that define a great swordsman. And these are the traits that defineyou. You told me you didn’t know if you were worthy, but I believe thatyou are more worthy than any man I have ever trained.

4. Father

Sokka can show how brave he is, how creativehe is, and how much of a leader he’s become. But in the end, he measures hisidentity as a man by his father’s example:

Aang:Sokka, that speech wasn’t your moment of truth. That was just publicspeaking and nobody’s really good at that.Sokka: My Dad is. He explained the plan perfectly and inspired everyone.Like a real leader should. Aang: Look, your moment of truth isn’t going to be in front of some map.It’s going to be out there, on the battlefield.

Unlike with Zuko, Sokka’s confidence in hisfather is fully justified. As he grows and matures, he becomes, not a copy ofhis father, but his own person. He learns that he can be a warrior withoutputting others down, and he can assert authority without being pigheaded. Hecan trust in his own abilities, regardless of how skilled everyone else isaround him. And Hakoda validates Sokka’s identity in every respect.

As a protector:

Hakoda: Sokka…Sokka: I’m coming with you.Hakoda: You’re not old enough to go to war, Sokka, you know that.Sokka: I’m strong! I’m brave! I can fight! Please, Dad!Hakoda: Being a man is knowingwhere you’re needed the most, and for you right now that’s here protecting yoursister.Sokka: I don’t understand.Hakoda: Someday you will. I’m going to miss you so much.

As a warrior:

Hakoda: Ready togo knock some Fire Nation heads?Sokka: You don’t know how much this means to me dad. I’ll make youproud, and I’ll finally prove to you what a great warrior I am.Hakoda: Sokka, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I’m already proud of you, and I’ve alwaysknown you were a great warrior.Sokka: Really?Hakoda: Why do you think I trusted you to look after our tribe when Ileft?

As a leader:

Sokka:No. I’ll lead the invasion force. Katara: Don’t be crazy, Sokka.Sokka: Maybe I am a little crazy but the eclipse is about to start andwe need to be up that volcano by the time it does.Hakoda: You can do this.I’m proud of you, son.

And as a man.

Hakoda: Bato, getthese mines loaded up. The rest of you men, prepare for battle! Sokka: Uh, what should I do, Dad?Hakoda: Aren’t you listening? I said the rest of you men get ready for battle.

Sokka willbe a fantastic father to his own children someday, no matter what LOK might imply.

#a:tla #sokka #katara #water tribe #long post

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yarnings · 6 years ago

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Mellow the moonlight to shine is beginning

There was renewed discussion about the lack of Bree/Roger fics. I may have tripped and fallen, hitting the keyboard on the way down and this popped out.

As my frivolity suggests, this has not been beta’d, edited or even checked against the timeline. Any and all mistakes and places where things don’t make sense should be assumed to be errors that I would appreciate having my attention drawn to so I can fix them.

Roger groaned, tired from trying to keep up with his father-in-law all day, and walked through the cabin door. To his disappointment, the table had no food on it, being covered instead with Bree’s workbook and a bunch of loose sheets full of sketches and notes in Bree’s distinctive hand. As he stood, blinking to help his eyes adjust to the relative dimness inside, he noticed a pile of charcoal- smeared boards discarded beside Bree’s chair, presumably her even-rougher work that she did before consigning designs and calculations to expensive paper. It wasn’t the first time that Bree had managed to carve out some free time from the toil of trying to take care of the house entirely by hand, and spent the afternoon designing. However, and Roger frowned as he noticed that the hearth was cold, normally when she did this there was a pot of stew ready for the evening meal.

Just then Roger heard a noise outside, and turned back, squinting his newly-adjusted eyes against the bright sunlight. Bree was coming back from the big house carrying Jemmy, with a basket over her other arm. He stepped out to meet her and relieve her of her burdens. She handed him the basket with a kiss as Jemmy snuggled himself more securely against her side.

“He’s being a little clingy since I neglectfully abandoned him to be spoiled by Mrs. Bug all afternoon. Apparently he’s worried I’ll leave him to get stuffed full of sweets again.”

Roger wisely didn’t say anything, and peeked instead into the basket, finding a loaf of fresh bread inside.

“They were firing the big oven, and I was offered a loaf of bread so that I wouldn’t have to bother with the dutch oven today. I figured we could have sandwiches for dinner tonight. We have some pickle and I mixed up a bit of mustard to go with the sausage.”

Roger’s mouth watered at the thought. He resolutely pushed memories of sandwiches he’d had in the twentieth century from his mind as he followed Bree inside. He wasn’t about to suggest that mayonnaise would be a nice addition, as he had no desire to find himself assigned to the job of whisking it up himself.

Once inside, Roger washed up and set to slicing the bread while Bree picked up her notes and stuck them on the bed in a haphazard pile for organizing later. Jemmy was bribed with a chunk of hard sausage to sit in his chair. He gnawed on the sausage and banged his horn cup on the table as he watched his parents prepare the meal. In addition to the pickle and mustard, Bree brought out some butter and a small basket of greens that her mother had thinned from the garden that morning. Despite his enthusiasm for the meal, Jem had clearly had a full day of running around with his mother in the morning and exploring the big house in the afternoon, because part way through his eyes closed and he narrowly missed falling asleep in his dinner. Bree coaxed him into enough wakefulness to get ready for bed. When she tucked him into his cot he didn’t even make a token protest, just closed his eyes and went to sleep. Roger watched her from the table, not feeling energetic enough to take advantage of Jem’s early bedtime, but still appreciative of how she moved and the occasional tantalizing glimpses of skin that he got.

Bree looked up and caught Roger’s gaze, giving him a smile that celebrated everything they were to each other. She came back to the table, and they sat together for a while, finishing their meal in silence, enjoying simply being in each other’s presence with no urgent tasks to draw their attention away. Roger broke the silence first.

“What were you working on this afternoon? You seem to have made some progress.”

“I want to make a treadle spinning wheel. You know the kind where you can sit down, and work a foot pedal to spin the machine, rather than needing to walk back and forth like Marsali is always doing?”

Roger was vaguely aware of the fact that spinning was done on the ridge, and had a fuzzy memory of seeing what he persisted in thinking of as “modern” spinning wheels on a school trip to the museum as a child. He nodded anyhow, secure in the knowledge that Bree would give enough detail in her explanation to fill in any gaps in his understanding.

“The thing is that there’s a reason you have to walk back and forth with the wheels now. I could put a treadle on it easily, but it wouldn’t work. The hard part is spinning the yarn. You have to walk back and forth, because it’s done in two stages, so unless I can get it down to a single continuous process there’s no point.”

“Well, can ye?”

“I know it’s possible, that’s the hardest part. I’ve seen one at a historic site before, and while they didn’t go into details, I don’t think it was a very complex thing to make, so we should be able to do it here.”

Roger smiled at Bree’s confidence. She never accepted the idea that there might be something too difficult for her. Of course, that was why there were here.

He gathered what dishes there were, and gave them a wash in cold water while Bree cleared the leftovers into their pantry. By the time he was done, she had retrieved her work and spread it back over the now-clean table. But rather than trying to keep working, she just organized her notes to put away until she had another chance to work on the design.

By unspoken agreement, when she and Roger had both finished and put everything away, they lay together in the growing darkness. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as they drifted off to sleep.

#outlander #fanfic #outlander fanfic #outlander fan fiction #my work #note that this story does not make the spinning wheel thing any more plausible #and Dr. Gabaldon is into fibre arts she should know better #I know her engineering knowledge is a zero #so I guess this is just a symptom of that

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mceproductions · 6 years ago

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October 2018 Blurbs

10/1/18 31 Nights of Halloween, Freeforms inheritence from its previous incarnations, other than the mandated 700 Club. The month between seasons, otherwise known as candy city. Stockholm Syndrome from Willies departure may be setting in as we had a large truck and only 4 of us to do it. I shouldnt be missing his prescence but somehow i am. Remedy is needed soon. 10/2/18 Im A Christmas Guy, love giving gifts out and decorating. Have done so annually for 16 years and it always starts within the first few days of October as i unblock my Holiday themed movie and TV Shows on digital. Looking forward to the next few weeks especially. Brewers NLDS starts Thursday! 10/3/18 The old tutalige of when it rains it pours, reared its ugly head. Flat by Old El Rancho. That really screws things up for me. Hoping for Miracle. 10/4/18 Well, day minus the Brewers coming back, was a bust. Tire was flat. Hoping I can get it either possibly fixed or a cheap replacement. Wondering how ill get to the store tomorrow. 10/5/18 Apparently massive flu spreading around as Mom picked up whatever Dad was sick with. Ended up replacing tire, but with brand new one. Hopeful not mistake. Also affected things at WallyWorld as Linda and Tyler were feeling cruddy. Hopeful I dont get it. Brewers win and truck got fixed. Still undecided on Venom or Gaga for movie on Saturday. 10/6/18 Ended up going with Gaga and was pleasently stunned by both her and Bradley Cooper. Movie was wonderful and that ending was rough, picked up soundtrack to boot. Sort of took longer than I anticipated coming back from EC thanks to BlueGolds Homecoming. Boy colleges take that far more seriously than High School. Panera for dinner was a great alternative as well. 13th Doctor tomorrow before work! FLCL on the other hand...I'll never say the C word to anyone, but Pets was definetly the C Word to Kana. 10/7/18 Man that was emberassing to watch. Green Bay actually played so lousy I watched Doctor Who, and loved the female 13th looking forward to more of her. Final Season of Walking dead also premired. Wonder how Ricks going out. Gunner and his partner are really intolerable. Reporting that asap, the store is not a place for thier private spats. 10/8/18 Columbus getting squeezed out of his own day is the most PC thing that I can get on board with. Nobody gives a crap about the whole Sailed the ocean blue in 1492 thing anymore. Stuff to do including assignments that I have to go to the library to finish. Hoping internet will be back sooner rather than later. 10/9/18 Woke up to flashing lights by house and realized power line got taken down by tree that Dad had pointed out. A bit more broke than I anticipated. Stuff here i have to do anyway and thankfully work will limit my having to go anywhere. Really could use $300 to pay Patti. Brewers will take on Dodgers in NLCS starting Friday. Mad that Conan for all intent and purpose has been cancelled, adpating is one thing but this is a glorified cancellation. 10/10/18 Rain city continues...Puddles in Bravada. On top of it its getting colder. Winter isnt here yet, but the white ravens are taking flight. 10/11/18 Now comes the cold, and first snow of the year. We had it all today cold, wind, sun and snow. 10/12/18 Store gave me a first look at my future. Gaurantee work on Sunday Monday and Friday every week unless i say so. Which other than one day may be saying much. Could use more variety than that. Also stinks NLCS is on when im working. Pulling for Dodgers in at least 1 game so I can see game 5 on wednesday at least. 10/13/18 They have been hyping the crap out of inventory for the past 3 weeks. Now i see why, Clint made a rare Saturday appearance at the store. Hopeful for the next few days. Got my prediction right about game 5 on Wednesday so thats good. Kanye is nuts as usual, and Kana gave me the best reason yet to finally move forward on the FLCL finale. Cold week ahead. 10/14/18 Andrew and his little notes are getting out of hand. Got called in to do truck early as Inventory closes in on Tuesday. Clint on the other hand, i know ive got to not walk off for a few seconds but he really needs to chill for a bit especially cause we both used to be pushing carts in the first months of the store he should know my rhtyms by now. Stinks about Pete Davidson though, really hope he can recover cause i liked him and Ariana as a couple. Rather unfortunate that they split cause she couldnt deal with her ex commiting suicide. 10/15/18 A missing person is a big deal, when you happen to know someone who is related to said missing person, then you know its huge. Jayme Closs, the cousin of Brody being abducted after her parents were gunned down, sad for all. My only issue is brody reatcing to everyones sympathies, overkill a bit. The other issue i have is the amber alert system that can be sent out to phones. With Trumps ability to text everyone in the country I witnessed a bunch of people who got the alert yesterday complain about it, the others who thought she killed them and fled are the bigger morons. Hopefully shes found safe. Other than that, good night for Wisconsin Sports, Brewers are 2 Out from pennant and Rodgers did his thing once again. 10/16/18 Boring first part of shift as we did basically nothing due to the inventory. But at least the night managed to salvage itself. Dodgers really play dirty. 10/17/18 Nose began to stuff itself again. Bunch of classwork for 2 weeks as i get the inservice day. Milwaukee gave another one away. Hoping Game 6 on Friday will be a turnaround. 10/18/18 Rare thursday day, nose still stuffed. 10/19/18 Library day as i caught up on work, and finally watched A Chrsitmas Story to its ending. A classic, yes just don't feel that strongly about it. Big game from the Crew forcing Game 7. 10/20/18 This day was nuts, a quick 25 minute snowcase that gave way to sunny conditions by noon. Saw Venom, didn't get why it was hated. Quite enjoyable dyanmic and She-Venom was the highlight of it all. Dodgers unfortuantley took the pennant. Great season overall for Milwaukee just bummed my streak of picking the world series winner at the All Star game ended at 4. Also tide pods finally used them, no wonder people ate them they're great for clothes. 10/21/18 First day ever that i skipped NFL Games. Neat concept. 10/22/18 Very long strech of store coming up, especially given that Today we only had 3 total. 10/23/18 Held off on grabbing Mamma Mia 2 Blu Ray. Mainly due to gas situation that had Bravada dying near tracks. I got to figure cash situation out to pay off people. 10/24/18 Lone day off before Halloween. No class today so that made things better. Master Mode on Zelda getting easier to figure out. Did reset on iPhone and Kindle, should fix lone bugs. Really want to play RDR2 and Spiderman PS4. World Series from what I can tell is shaping up as a sweep. Also, whole reason I began watching Sunny aired tonight. First of 2 Part Super Bowl Episode. Charlie in a Bear Trap drinking pee, eww! 10/25/18 First of 6 in a row backwise. The Halloween episodes on TV Usually do wonders for me, not this time. I know this is the final season of Big Bang Theory but Sheldon not realizing how irritating he sounds to others after 12 years and so much maturing seems not the right way to do it. Especially seeing his wife irrate Bernadette. 10/26/18 2nd night, the wheels i dont think feel off, but the were more loose than usual. Hour to set up, hour work, break, 30 minutes to unload hvdc and then didn't finish til after 6. When your down numbers wise you can certainly feel it. FYI The crap with the MAGA Bomber made me mad enough to likely stay off social media until after the election, that made it my breaking point. RWBY Season Premire Tomorrow! 10/27/18 Rooster Teeth First free trial, worth it for watching a great primire that perfectly sets up what comes. My point who is that woman with the Maz Kanata eyewear? Wisconsin stinks. 10/28/18 My issue with the whole core hours thing involves me working on days i know theres something i should be doing. Such as watching the packers. Almost beating LA, hopeful they can actually do that against Brady. 10/29/18 That blue wave better close in next week cause, another shooting and another predictable Trump response occurred. Hate crimes abound in his america. 10/30/18 Last in the back, October really came and went this year. Only thing bad about not working Halloween is the dressup im missing out on. Adam in drag would have been a hoot. 10/31/18 Darkness Falls Across the Land...You Know the rest. Halloween. This day is one back 20 Years ago i would openly love. At least the Candy is still around, albiet smaller and more sugary. Nowadays this day has me DVR'ing all the major shows to see what costumes get put on. Spoiler Alert only episodes of ATH And PTI that I happily record all year. When it comes to applying for scholarships however thats where it blurrs. WITC is really biased against those in the outreach sites hoping i can get help tomorrow when i visit. November came too quickly but, I get to see my nephew in 2 Weeks!

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rosebramblewolf · 6 years ago

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the piña coladas are from asric & jadaars bar that they opened in the fanfic i wrote for nanowrimo when cataclysm dropped that i never finished or posted anywhere.

thats another thing i lost when my hard drive took a shit. ah well.

as i remember it heres how the story went:

asric & jadaar are starting to get sick of hanging out in the snow at the argent ren faire when asrics long lost older sister, my first dk ortaine, shows up with a couple of people from her 25 man raid to capitalize on their fame from killing the lich king. she gives asric shit about his big blue bf (which asric categorically denies) and proceeds to hit on jadaar, greatly alarming him, but its okay shes kidding ortaine only likes girls. specifically the legions of beautiful butch orc women lining up to warm her bed since she (and 24 of her closest friends) recently saved the world.

a&j realize theres no reason to stay where they are since the opportunity to prove themselves heroes is now gone. ortaine covers their flight path back to dalaran and goes off to get laid. their disreputable appearance gets them kicked out of the legerdemain lounge & they go drink in the sewers until they run out of money and, shitfaced, decide to leave northrend for somewhere warm. theres discussion of where they can both go that wont get one of them locked up or killed on sight, including asrics ill advised suggestion of painting jadaar red & trying to pass himself off as a super powerful warlock. in the end they go to the violet citadel and take the caverns of time portal, slog their way through the desert (harried by scorpions, wastewanders, and overzealous great lift guards) from goblin town to goblin town looking for work, and finally split up in ratchet when asric wants to swab decks for passage to booty bay and jadaar is ready to build a shitty beach hut and subsistence fish rather than take one more step on the hope there’ll be jobs in the next town.

there may have been a shouting match. i think asric declared his intention to open a cocktail bar on the beach and make a killing because goblins cant mix drinks? and something about dont come crawling to me for a job because i wouldnt even make you a busboy.

asric makes his way to booty bay & opens a bar which he creatively names asric’s. to do this he takes out a predatory loan from the goblins at the bank, but since he mixes a good cocktail & doesnt massively overcharge his customers the place quickly becomes super popular and he’s not only able to pay it off early but soon hes hiring extra workers.

meanwhile jadaars fishing hut has been seized by the ratchet municipal government because he made the mistake of catching more fish than he could eat and trying to sell it within the city limits without the necessary licensing and permits, and they take basically everything he owns to cover fines taxes and fees. jadaar finally gives up and decides to work for passage to booty bay and see if its worth groveling to asric.

it turns out jadaar makes an excellent bouncer and the goblin waitresses love him. the place is thriving, asric gets a permit to put some tables outside & serve drinks on the boardwalk, and thats when the tsunami hits.

everyone evacuates to the other side of the peninsula, back around the mountains where the pirates hang out. thankfully the city has a good warning system for these kinds of things and no one is hurt but the place is wrecked, and asric sends one of the goblin employees down to file the insurance claim immediately because the company probably wont be able to cover them all.

a bunch of adventurers come through to help fix up the town, and asric happily gets them all drunk and rakes in the cash, and then he hears about a place called uldum where theres supposedly a bunch of ancient treasure.

these idiots decide to go slog through the desert again. it doesnt go well.

thats as far as i had written and so i wasnt entirely sure how exactly uldum was going to go tits up but the tol’vir werent going to take to them and there was going to be a sandstorm and at some point there would be attempted making out in an oasis leading to serious misunderstandings about who did or didnt have feelings for whom and they would eventually grumpily pack it in and go back to booty bay.

eventually their friendship recovers from the oasis misunderstanding and then they decide to take a vacation in nagrand, at which point i feel like they were going to solve the apple seller murder? and get offered their old jobs back. and decide not to take them, because it turns out that running this cocktail bar together makes them happy.

two dudes sitting dangling their feet over the edge of a sky island watching the sunset, holding hands & necking cuz theyre super gay. the end.

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mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog · 6 years ago

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