#looking back now i do appreciate the carrie reference and the honest portrayal of how rough and unglamorous teenagehood can be

[grapeszn]

just remembered being 18 and having an embarrassing crush on this actress. it was feb 2020. pandemic had just begun. lockdown was imminent. and for some reason in the midst of all this my brain decides to hyperfixate on this girl that looks like she jumped straight out of the 80s

[mystiika]

peter pettigrew’s animagus form is a rat but what often goes unnoticed is that rats have more positive traits than they do negative & although he did turn on his best friend and ‘rat’ on him as the saying goes, there is so much more to him that comes from having a rat as his spirit animal/animal totem. sorry to burst your bubble jk but a rat animagus is actually pretty dope so smd.

any who, below the cut is a rather in depth explanation including quotes from a variety of sources & a few words to tie each quote with my personal portrayal of peter. it is long but it’s also more interesting that you might give it credit for.

when someone has a rat as their animal totem, the idea is that they are very happy & easy going. & although honest & frank, they are highly co-operative in group activities & are easy to get along with. it’s usually pretty obvious from the looks of them how they are feeling but even so, retain self-control. foresight is also popularly mentioned along with knowing how to use it successfully & beneficially. being cunning, shrewd & unafraid to defend themselves in any situation are characteristics as well as enjoying a challenge, being wise in the advice they give & often teach those around them to appreciate what is there. ( source )

to fit in with the other marauders he’d have to have been a social person. easy going people find other easy going people just as peter found james, sirius & remus. constructing & carrying out elaborate pranks is proof of how well he can work with others. each time he was mentioned in the series, he was also accompanied by adjectives that described his emotions. foresight I’ll get into later but as for cunning & shewd, it would only make sense. no one wants to be best friends with an idiot & someone who wasn’t clever to at least some degree wouldn’t have been able to make the quick retorted puns he had. being unafraid to defend themselves is where my opinion of peter differs. at least in my mind, his bravery depends entirely on the situation. if he were being attacked, it would be only natural to fight back as a natural survival instinct. however, if he were to be bullied to his academic intelligence, he would most definitely falter but in the end he would try to look unaffected. this in of itself shows bravery, but in no way shows his readiness to defend himself. make sense? enjoyment of challenges is also dependent on the challenges as well as whether or not he is able to succeed in them. in the end, peter just wants to prove himself as capable & would enjoy overcoming a challenge of intelligence to show that he is in fact, somewhat clever. when it comes to advice giving, it is also depended on the situation but considering how watchful he is and how easily he notices things, he tends to have a better understanding of the situation than others might. this in no way relates to his ability to talk to women, for that, he is most definitely not the one to talk to. finally, there is being appreciative of what is around them. peter is most definitely resourceful & I have already said & i quote ❝ as a child, his mother always told him to appreciate the little things in life because those are often the most fragile & the quickest to disappear. ❞ this is of course my personal headcanon but like I said at the top of this post, this is all about my portrayal.

some more associations for rat ( and from the same source as the information above ) &  i’ve bolded the ones i associate most with peter:

abundant reproduction

strength

adaptability

ability to live unseen

success drive

resourcefulness

stealth

letting go

defense

intelligence

symbol of fertility & wealth

foresight

❝ the rat has a bad image in most western countries.  We see it as something to be feared or reviled and if you see a rat in your back garden you immediately start thinking of how to get rid of it.  Yet many other countries see the rat as something completely different and in the orient it is seen as part of their astrological parade and something to be respected .❞

( quote source was spiritualliving360.com talking about rat as an animal totem but the website has since gone down )

generally speaking, there’s a good side to everything & i cannot stress enough that bad decisions do not make a bad person. yes peter did awful things but he also had reasons for doing them & at the time of making said bad decisions, & saw no other way ( though whether or not that was true is up for debate ).

❝ the rat will also show you lessons about foresight. ever heard of the phrase ❛ rats leaving a sinking ship❜?  they leave because they can see what is coming & will always choose the path that leads to survival.  mix this with the rat’s natural cunning & you will have the perfect blend for survival in all realms .❞ ( source: spiritualliving360 )

now is when I’ll get into foresight. Peter is a survivor. This is proven time and time again. He, like the rat, can adapt to an abundance of situations where others might not be able to. Staying alive and well is a basic instinct and is why the human race has done as well as it has. He can tell when there is a bad situation approaching and comes up with his best chance at surviving it.

❝ on the negative side the rat totem can bring restless & nervousness of completely new situations. they also bring the urge to horde material wealth because they fear to have to little. ❞ ( source: spiritualliving360 )

don’t restless & nervous sound like fitting adjectives for peter? he doesn’t like new situations because he doesn’t know how to deal with them. sure, he’s resourceful & can come up with the best way out of a given situation but that doesn’t mean he won’t be agitated during it. additionally, Peter fears that he isn’t enough and so, he sometimes tries to compensate with material gain.

❝ holding onto everything & being the pack rat is their way of feeling secure in an insecure world. fortunately rats adapt well to environmental changes & can survive on just about anything. they hold the teachings of resourcefulness. their fear of not being provided for can be healed by participating in supportive group activities, meditation & prayer. ❞ ( source )

now, the first bit doesn’t need any explanation but I’d really like to zero in on that second part. ❝ their fear of not being provided for can be healed by participating in supportive group activities, meditation & prayer. ❞ peter is afraid of so many things & being a part of such a tight knit group as the marauders, has helped him so much. had he been taken away from his only support at hogwarts ( seeing as most every one thought he was a foolish dimwit — teachers included ), who knows how much worse off he’d have been. i hate to say it & I apologise if this is upsetting or triggering to anyone but i personally feel that he would have only been able to take so much cruelty & attacks to his mental health before he would have gone into a state of depression & possibly become suicidal. he already doesn’t think he’s good enough & that’s within the confines of a supporting friendship.

❝ they do hoard, but they are generous with their stash to other rats in need, often bringing bits of food to sick or weakened rats in their clan. they also are pack animals & very affectionate, taking care to groom each other’s fur & teeth. they are amazing problem solvers, also. in fact, i would say that this is their dominant trait. ❞ ( source )

now, this is my personal opinion but i’d like to think he always did anything & everything within his power to help james, sirius & remus with anything he could. he wanted to be helpful, he wanted to feel needed & like he had a purpose. he cared very much for them & the same held true for them. being amazing problem solvers i also stand by one hundred percent. i think this goes hand in hand with being resourceful & most definitely came in handy when planning pranks. when a problem arose with their plans, peter would come up with a solution in no time flat.

❝ rats are very social creatures. ❞ ( no source because this is written everywhere )

again, i don’t think this needs much of an explanation. peter depends on his three best friends more than anyone else in the entire world. he is desperate for their approval & affections & if he were denied this, i’m not sure how badly it would effect him but i can say with conviction that the end result would be disastrous.

❝ there are many common misconceptions when it comes to the rat. generally they are thought of as dirty creatures that carry disease. this is an unfair characterisation. rats are extremely cleanly, & while they do occasionally carry disease, it is very rare. ❞ ( source was spiracanada.com which has since gone down )

this is less about peter and more about how I feel jkr took him & made him 2 dimensional. through out the series, peter is mainly referred to as wormtail while everyone else is referred to by their names, either first or last. & i don’t mean in dialogue, i mean in narration. there is no, peter pettigrew: the marauder, the friend, the trusted member of the order. there is only wormtail, the betrayer, the murderer, & the fool. subconsciously, when we see ❛ wormtail ❜, we think of his animagus form, the rat. we think of the negative connotation: the disgusting creature associated with disease, uncleanliness, & the expression ❛ to rat on someone ❜. it’s what voldemort called him & surely a name as vile as that belongs to a man deserving of one.

WRONG! it started off as a simple nickname between friends, remember? a joke about how his animagus tail looks like a worm. that’s it. it was just the result of a group of fifteen year old boys goofing around & doing illegal things. in their minds it was never meant to be cruel or disgusting, it was teasing, friendly, & a name for a good friend that would break the law just to help put another friend at ease. so often we think of a rat with a negative connotation & the entire point of this post is to remind you that the negative connotation isn’t the only one out there & is certainly far less truthful.

❝ a rat totem will surround himself with a group of loyal & devoted friends. with them he shares the finer things in life & will often go to great ends to keep them happy & comfortable. any that he ( or she ) perceives to be outside his social circle, he could care less about. further to this, he will destroy fine things rather than see them go to the enjoyment of those outside his circle. he would rather throw out a plate of fine food than give it to someone he doesn't know. it paints a selfish picture of the rat totem, but this is not quite accurate. it’s not selfishness per se, but purposeful wastefulness & destruction. it is a show of wealth & importance that you can afford to waste & destroy so many fine things. one might think that a rat totem could only be this way if he or she were wealthy. This is not true, though, as the rat totem is truly adaptable. he or she will always find something that can be considered exquisite even in the grimmest of circumstances. in love, the rat totem will likely pick his mates from within his circle of friends. this can be good & bad. it is good as he or she is generally friends first, & this makes for a stable base for a relationship. it is bad, as … when he tires of one relationship, he will move on to the next… & the next will most likely be from the same circle of friends. this behaviour tends to destroy groups of friends in much the same way a rat totem destroys fine things. its no big deal for the rat totem as he can always gain a newer circle of friends, but those left in the wake often feel in tatters when the rat totem uses them this way …. careers that are social & involve the rats’s inate sense of finding valuable things are good…. also careers that involved their gifts for jumping, climbing, swimming, & stealth are good. they would make excellent reconnaissance soldiers in wartime, they would make fine spies, & superb thieves as well. ❞ ( source: spiracanada )

tbh i don’t think this bit needs any explaining except the bit about picking mates from within their circle. now, peter’s circle didn’t end at the other marauders. being their best friend, he was constantly grouped with their other friends; all of these people were part of his circle of friends. popular fanon choices seem to be lily evans, marlene mckinnon, mary macdonald, the prewetts, a couple of other’s that i won’t bother naming. i’ve also been developing the idea that peter is actually demisexual. what this means is physical attraction is only present when a strong emotional bond has been formed. the concept fits in rather perfectly with canon, fanon, & my personal perceptions in this case. his lack of enthusiasm for pursuing girls at the school can be partially explained, leaving all of the girl chasing & charming to james & sirius & remus to some small extent. the idea also supports peter & any of the other marauders in a romantic relationship if that floats your boat.

❝ rats are social animals that are highly adaptable & expert survivalists. they drive for success maybe too hard or not hard enough, if restless with others it helps to become more adaptable to them & the situations. rat medicine will teach how to be resourceful in the midst of environmental & emotional changes. he will give strength & trust in the process of current changes & lend security in overcoming worldly ideals. have you accumulated too much mental & emotional baggage? rat will aid in examining what is not needed any longer and allow truth to come forth in the midst of worldly illusions. is it time to let go of thoughts, ideals, perceptions or people & places? rat medicine will instil self assurance & transform fear into abundance. there is much wisdom in how rat moves, watches & listens. ❞ ( source )

social & survivalists. considering how many times those two things have been mentioned in one way or another, i won’t relate it to peter again. now, the drive for success is very much so relevant & unspoken of. peter ( & this is getting back to my personal portrayal again ) suffers from undiagnosed dysgraphia. for what that means, i wrote up a headcanon over here. he’s constantly underestimated mentally and told he's unintelligent in one way or another but this doesn’t diminish his drive for success. oppositely so, it pushes him to work harder & harder academically in the hopes of proving everyone wrong.the same can be said of him wanting to become an animagus.

❝ it takes skill, practice, & patience for wizards & witches to become animagi. the process of becoming an animagus is long & arduous, & has the potential to backfire & cause the transformation to go horribly wrong. ❞ ( source )

say what you will about peter pettigrew but he is nothing short of ambitious. he used skills that most did not know he possessed & became an animagus which apparently only very powerful witches & wizards can do. forgive me on the lack of source but i can’t remember where i heard that particular line from. regardless, it seems fitting, no?

❝ …and there have only been seven animagi this century… ❞ ~ hermione in PoA p. 257

it is not easy to complete this task for fully grown witches & wizards let alone 3 thirteen year olds boys. this is sort of sidetracking but it’s my personal headcanon that sirius & james both completed their transformations in their fourth year & it was peter alone that finished in his fifth year.

❝ ‘it took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. your father & sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, & lucky they were, because the ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. peter needed all the help he could get from james & sirius. finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. they could each turn into a different animal at will.’ ❞ ~remus in PoA p. 259

although he struggled & required enormous amounts of help from the other two, he did manage it successfully. as a fifteen year old boy, he was able to become an animagus & did so solely for the purpose of helping one of his best friends. i think that says a lot about the type of person peter pettigrew really was.

anyway, i’ve finished now so if you actually read all that, good on you. keep on keeping on, friend, & i hope you become a proud member of the peter pettigrew defense brigade because he is so much more than what most people believe him to be. he’s more than just a hated plot device. he’s a person, not just a rat.

[gws201-blog]

Graduating High School.. Nine Months Pregnant?

20 Pop Culture Stereotypes We Must Debunk (Because    They’re Fucking Stupid)

1.   Race determines class

“White people were equated with richness and land” (Williams, pg. 431). Who’s to say you can’t be a person of color and also be loaded?! Sure, the Real Housewives have women of color who are ~loaded~, but the majority of shows depict non-white individuals and families as poor. Have you ever seen the TV show Everybody Hates Chris? The whole show is about a poor, African American family living in Brooklyn, NY—constantly worrying about money. Their father, Julius, is even so tight on money that he kept a picture of himself in his own wallet to keep as a reminder to not spend money. Shows like this may be hilarious, but continual negative portrayal of race and class hurts those who are included in the stereotype.

2.   Race determines education level

“Members of society are judged, and succeed or fail, measured against the characteristics that are held by those privileged (Wildman & Davis, pg. 111).” Why do we put less pressure on some people to go to college, and others are just assumed they’ll go, or maybe it’s assumed they’ll never even finish high school? How can we look at a 16-year-old black high school student and compare them to a white 16-year-old student, and think that we have enough information to label one of them as academically frivolous, and one as a failure?

3.   Race determines actions

Being white will never make you an angel, being a person of color will never make you dangerous. The media constantly portrays black people to carry guns, Middle Eastern people to be terrorists, and white people to be trashy, yet, more responsible with guns…? However, according to Chris Wilson with Time, mass shootings from the past 35 years were overwhelmingly white, male shooters. So why do we allow the media to make it look as if the white man is innocent in shows and movies, when in reality they’re the ones who are dangerous?  

4.   Race determines where you live

Similar to race determining your class, race also doesn’t dictate where someone lives. For example, in the show Shameless, a white family is actually living in the poor, “ghetto” area of town that they refer to as the South Side. However, back to Everybody Hates Chris as I mentioned prior, TV loves to show people of color living in shitty places as if it’s normal. We can’t let the world tell us you must live within constraint or restriction because of your skin; it’s 2018—love thy [literal] neighbor, dammit.

5.   Class determines your future, or lack-there-of

“Everyone knows that money brings privilege” (Wildman and Davis, pg. 111). Sure, it can. I won’t pretend that money doesn’t make it easier to afford things such as college. People act like student loans don’t exist, that grants don’t exist, FAFSA (even though they suck, but it’s whatever), loans, etc. do.not.exist.But these are excuses. Millions of students who are set up for failure because they can’t afford college or because their parent’s don’t have the money, but that doesn’t stop them.

6.   Class determines your likelihood to end up an addict

Face it—TV either depicts drug/alcohol addicts as either extremely poor, or extremely rich. No one ever seems to care about a middle-class addict. What’s worse though, assuming that being rich or poor increases your likelihood to be an addict, or by not paying as much attention to addicts who are neither of these classes. The rich have money to blow on, well, blow…. and the poor just somehow are expected to be more likely to hang out with the wrong crowd, try a drug once, and then do everything and anything they can in order to get money to keep on getting the drug—none of this is something that we should stereotype.

7.   Class determines the likelihood you’ll get pregnant at a young age

Your class and status don’t determine when you have sex and if you’re using protection, your decision to have sex without protection or situations of birth control failure are how you get pregnant at a young age (I’m leaving out situations of rape from this so I don’t write a novel). According to studies done by the US National Library of Medicine, socioeconomic status doesn’t determine the age you get pregnant at, but may determine to different pregnancy and birth complications due to lack of money to afford things such as healthcare, diapers, medicine, etc.

8.   Being feminine means you’re gay

“The new man is non-sexist, believes in gender equality and relates to women as human beings” (Milestone and Meyer, pg. 116). Apparently, the ‘new man’ is seen as a gay man to many. What even is femininity? A guy isn’t gay for wearing pink, giving a shit about how he looks, having female friends, or for his hobbies—I personally appreciate a man who takes care of his appearance, shows his feelings, ya know, showers and stuff. Kidding—I promise I have higher standards than a guy just showering. But anyways, what I’m trying to say is that none of these surface-level features give anyindication that a man is gay. And if he is, who even cares?!

9.   Being masculine means you’re a lesbian

*See #8*

Kidding, but really. Stop judging people based on how they look, dress, act, whatever. 

10.Gay people are promiscuous

First off, not your business. Second, you can just as easily say something dumb like that girls in sororities are sluts (trust me, I was in one and I got this comment a handful of times). I don’t even know how this stereotype came about, but I know that my gay friends joke about it al the time. If your gay friends make a joke about it, cool, it’s funny to talk about his “dick appointment”, but it’s different between a good friend making a statement, and you being an assumptive asshole.

11.Gay people have HIV aids

Every commercial I’ve ever seen on TV about medical treatment for HIV only show gay couples. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, gay and bisexual males are more susceptible to getting HIV because they tend to have anal sex, sometimes unprotected, which then puts them at serious risk. Sorry not sorry, but these commercials can’t just pretend straight couples don’t have unprotected anal sex. HIV doesn’t discriminate, so neither should we.

12.Gay people can’t have children

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. How do women who can’t conceive have children? Adoption, IVF, surrogate—there’s tons of options, and these are options for gay couples as well.

13.Gay people can’t be religious

There’s this notion that gay people must not believe in God because some people believe that homosexuality is a sin—even though God definitely says to love thy neighbor and that he loves all of his children, aka all of us. Shows such as Modern Familyare great examples of this. A gay couple, Cam and his husband Mitchell, attend church and even take their adopted daughter, Lily, with them. Sure they live in California where there’s more acceptance, but the fact that the show even displays this is great for ending this stereotype by showing it as normalized.  

14.Teen moms won’t graduate

I talk about Shamelessand Teen Moma lot, but hey, they’re perfect examples for a lot of these stereotypes. Shamelesssupports this stereotype by showing a 15 year old named Debbie who gets pregnant and drops out of high school. !!!BUT!!! Debbie eventually gets her GED and becomes a certified welder. Hell yeah. Teen Mom, which is a reality show, rarely shows teens graduating or getting any type of certification to better their education. Girls who are in similar situations may see this and be like “well shit, if they didn’t finish school and they’re fine, I’m not finishing either!”— then the girl and her baby daddy end up relying on their parents for everything. I graduated with a girl who was nine months pregnant, literally about to pop, and now she’s a young mom, yes, but she got to go on and attend college and is almost finished with her degree. By supporting pregnant teens and giving them the push they need, they can attempt to better their future and give their baby a great life (not that it won’t be great without education, but you know what I mean).

15.Teen pregnancy is easy & fun

If you’ve seen Teen Mom, you know that teen pregnancy isn’t easy. Yes, the show does glorify it sometimes by being like “oh, get pregnant at 16, you’ll get on TV!!!!” but they also show the raw, uncut scenes of the girls and couples hardcore struggling. Imagine missing class, missing prom, missing fun experiences you could be having with your friends when you’re not even twenty years old. Imagine the judgment by friends, family, and strangers because they assume you weren’t being careful. There’s a lot more to being a teen mom than being on TV and picking out cute baby clothes—don’t let TV and the media make you think you should get pregnant for fun.

16.Teen parents = unfit parents

I’ll be honest, this is a stereotype that I’ve believed for a long time. Teens are young, haven’t experienced life yet, aren’t fully educated, and aren’t always very mature—so why would they make good parents? Good question. Answer: no one is ever ~ready~ for their first kid. If you’ve never had children before, you’re in the same position as everybody else who has also never had kids. It doesn’t matter if you’ve babysat for years or if you have a college degree, having your first child isn’t something anyone can fully prepare for. You can have money, buy the best diapers, whatever, but you’ll still be learning how to care for the baby day by day no matter what age you are.

17.Trans people are confused

“you’re confused”

“it’s a phase”

“you’re just gay.”

-all quoted from a dumb ass, probably

For this, let’s go back to Linda Alcoff’s “The Problem Of Speaking For Others”. You don’t know how someone realized they weren’t the gender assigned to them at birth. You don’t know how they feel in their own skin every day. You don’t know the hardships and troubles and braveryit took for them to come to terms with being trans and be open about it to others. If you speak for them and try to say “oh, she’s confused” or “he’ll grow out of it”, all you’re doing is demeaning them, belittling them, and you’re lying to yourself and to them. Being trans isn’t easy. Support your trans friends or coworkers or whoever, and let them know that they’re always welcome in your life as they are.

18.Trans people are drag kings/queens

Similar to the last stereotype, being trans isn’t something you dress up in for fun and then change out of later. Anyone can dress in drag, not just transgender people. As Janet Mock discussed in Redefining Realness, drag can empower people and make them feel pretty and good about themselves. However, it doesn’t make you trans just because you partake in drag.

19.Trans people are predators

“Can you be guaranteed to find a public bathroom that is safe and equipped for you to use? (Taylor, pg. 296). Think about it—there’s a higher chance of a trans person being assaulted by someone because of who they are than a cisgender person being attacked in a bathroom by someone who’s trans. As much as I hate to get into this—I’ll be brief. No, trans people aren’t creeps. No, they’re not lying about their identity. No, they do not want to use the female restroom for ANY other reason aside from beingfemale.

20.Being who you are is easy

“We tend to forget the thousands of minute decisions that consciously construct the artificial world that has been created” (Smith, pg. 128). Though this quote is about movies, it’s true for real life. We make decisions every day that can drastically alter our lives. The thing is, we make these decisions in order to please others; we make choices that define us once we think about how it impacts others, what they’ll think, and what the worst-case scenario of these decisions may be. This is where it becomes difficult to be who you are. It’s hard to be yourself when you’re worried about what other people think more than you worry about yourself and your happiness. Put yourself first, worry about yourself, and make yourself proud—fuck everything else.

                                                Citations

Alcoff, Linda. “The Problem of Speaking for Others.” Cultural Critique, no. 20, 1991, p. 10.,       doi:10.2307/1354221.    

Bornstein, Kate, and Evin Taylor. Gender Outlaw: on Men, Women, and the Rest of Us. Vintage   Books, 2016.

“HIV and Gay and Bisexual Men Understanding HIV/AIDS.” National Institutes of Health, U.S.   Department of Health and Human Services, 5 Apr. 2018, aidsinfo.nih.gov/understanding-          hiv-aids/fact-sheets/25/81/hiv-and-gay-and-bisexual-men.

“Making Systems of Privilege Visible.” Making Systems of Privilege Visible, by Stephanie M Wildman and Adrienne D Davis, p. 111.  

Milestone, Katie, and Anneke Meyer. Gender and Popular Culture. Polity, 2012.

Min, Kim. Socioeconomic Status Can Affect Pregnancy Outcomes and Complications, Even With              A Universal Healthcare System. U.S. National Library of Medicine, National Institute of                 Health, 5 Jan. 2018, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5756361/.

Mock, Janet. Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & so Much More.       Simon & Schuster, 2015.

Smith, Greg M. “It's Just a Movie: A Teaching Essay for Introductory Media Classes.” Cinema Journal, vol. 41, no. 1, 2001, p. 128., doi:10.1353/cj.2001.0025.  

Williams, Claudette. Gal... You Come From Foreign. McGraw Hill, 2002.

Wilson, Chris. “Mass Shootings in the US: See 35 Years in One Chart.” Time, Time, 2 Oct.         2017, time.com/4965022/deadliest-mass-shooting-us-history/.

[nerdywriterlady]

Love In A Hopeless Place (A Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Preface

I'll be perfectly honest, I'm a traditional novelist, and do have works completed, including a full novel as myself and a novella that's been published under a pen name. I've never written fan fiction, and never thought I would. So you might wonder, how I found myself here, penning this? I had an idea for a character, for a traditional story arc involving a British male, so I began consuming as many interviews with current British actors, ie David Tennent, Benedict Cumberbatch, Eddie Redmayne, Tom Hiddleston... to listen to speech, mannerisms, differences in terminology, etc. During what I'm affectionately referring to as a "Hiddle-binge" I came upon Tom's diary or blog of his trip with UNICEF to Guinea last January. Charities that involve children have always resonated deeply with me, from St. Jude's Children's Hospital who cared for my cousin who was diagnosed with cancer at 13 and again at 16, to Operation Smile who provide underpriviliged children with much needed cleft lip and palate surgeries as my nephew was born with both so their works are very near and dear to me. I've always known of UNICEF, I've never looked into what they do though. I had quickly developed an appreciation for Tom's works. I feel much of my own writing style and subjects have been greatly influenced by the classics that I began reading as far back as an eleven year old. So, it came as no great surprise that Tom's blog was extremely well written, and filled with enumerable passages that carried such weight to what they conveyed.

For example:

"One small ward - about the size of a single room in a two-star or three-star hotel in the UK - housed at least twenty children, some of whom I was told had slim chances of survival. Their arms and legs were indescribably thin, their cheeks tear-stained, their skin a harrowing, slate-grey. Most shocking to me was the speed and urgency of their breathing, asleep or awake, but it was uniformly unsettled and uneven. When you see a child struggling so hard simply to breathe, it makes your heart hurt..."

As I read along, and looked at the images taken along his trip, I started to see the scenes of a story playing out in my mind. It's just how I write. I've always been able to "see" the scenes and then manage to put them into words. I tried to continue focus on my original work in progress, but kept being haunted by my characters in Guinea floating in my mind as an accoustic version of Rhianna's "We Found Love (In A Hopeless Place)" echoed behind them. I've concluded that they're not going to leave me alone until I tell their story. I fought over whether to write it traditionally  or not. Tom's words are so profound at points that I feel the story would suffer without them. So I decided to fanfiction them. Putting Tom as one of the main characters. Which I suppose should lead me to a disclaimer of sorts...

DISCLAIMER: While the majority of what you're about to read is completely fiction, parts of it will be the direct quotes from Tom Hiddleston's field diary. I will strive to ensure they are marked someway as quotes and maintain their diary format. I do not know Tom, I don't own his words, none of the conversations that take place between Tom the character and the other characters in this work have ever taken place. What I hope is to entertain you with a love story on a few levels, and hopefully also spread some of the awareness that UNICEF needs and deserves.

I know that was a really long intro, but I felt there needed to be some explanation other than a tiny synopsis which will try to entice you to read the story. I don't know how long it will take to write, I'm not 100% sure where these characters are about to take me, but I thank you for reading and following along with the journey until the final stroke of the pen, as it were.

Use the following link to the story...

Love In A Hopeless Place on Wattpad

Synopsis:

Single mom, Nessa Keefe, has never left the States. Never even crossed the borders into Canada or Mexico. She shocks her family and friends when she volunteers her skills as a photographer to International relief charity, UNICEF, after watching commercials at Halloween on "Trick or Treat for UNICEF". In December, she received her first assignment. In January, she was going to Guinea. And not just Guinea, but she was going along to photo-document a celebrity's first field visit.

Actor Tom Hiddleston is world known now and world travelled thanks in part to the huge success he's had from his portrayal as fan beloved Loki in the Marvel movie series. He's about to embark on his first visit into the field with UNICEF as a Junior Ambassador. It's a trip that's going to carry with him forever, and he'll return home from Guinea, with a deeper love and appreciation for many things and people.