#look typing some words and doing some math to make pretty pictures occupies a different space in The Sensorium

[tangibletechnomancy]

The thing about AI art is, it is easier than conventional art, but it's also not. Like any other art form, it has an infinitely high skill ceiling. It is entirely possible to spend just as much time and effort on an AI-created piece as it would take to produce a visually identical conventional one; it just involves a different skill set. However, the skill floor - the minimum amount of skill required to create something a layperson will find visually appealing - is lower.

And I want to make something crystal clear: as much as I bitch about reckless and malicious use of AI art, I do not believe that taking advantage of that lowered skill floor to make something pretty inherently counts as malicious. It's the factor that enables a lot of that malice, but on its own, I wholeheartedly believe that it's not even just neutral, but a good thing - which makes it all the MORE offensive how it's abused by some really loud and obnoxious voices.

Art is possibly the #1 reason I could never be a capitalist - because art is a "phantom need"; while not as urgent of one, it IS a human need as real as food, water, and shelter. It's about communication, expression, being able to look at something and go "oh, I was here", and all kinds of other things that...sound simultaneously as fundamentally necessary as they are, but also kind of pretentious when written out, because they've been devalued for so long in most English-speaking cultures (that good ol' Catholic guilt + Protestant work ethic and frugality gospel). Most people's mental health suffers drastically without it, even if they don't realize they're seeking it out or suffering without it. Art is even good for physical health - patients have better outcomes in hospitals that don't skimp on art and aesthetics. Art therapy is a very real thing that can save or extend lives; in fact Van Gogh's body of work can be seen as the prototype for art therapy - what makes his work so impactful to so many people isn't just the visual itself, but understanding that this brought a person the tiny scraps of joy and relief he needed to stay alive just a little longer. Lack of enrichment shortens people's lifespans. Art is one of the most universally human ways of getting that enrichment.

Something that lowers the skill floor to make nice art, or makes it attainable with a different skill set, makes that accessible to more people. When we step back a moment and theoretically remove it from capitalist bullshit, that is a wholly good thing with zero caveats and if you somehow disagree on any grounds other than "but we can only do that in theory", then, to be brutally honest: I don't trust you.

Unfortunately, yes, we CAN only do that in theory, so yes, that fact...gets abused. We're seeing it. It's not theoretical. Recall that the two reasons I'm here are 1) watching people's objections cross the line from complaining about those abuses to just plain dangerous reactionary neophobic gatekeeping reminiscent of when digital illustration's "danger" to physical art media was a hot-button issue (and look back now - turns out, just like I predicted then, physical media didn't die out; physical and digital painting and illustration can coexist peacefully!), and 2) wanting to do my part to embarrass the people who maliciously use the lowered skill floor to materially harm conventional artists and see that harm as a feature, not a bug, because so many non-artists, especially those with commercial products that need art, see art as a pretentious frivolity that doesn't deserve recognition or payment. (Trust me, I'm well aware, I've been dealing with them since I was 9 or so--)

But what I'm saying is...it's disgusting that those types even have the POWER to potentially be more than an annoyance in the first place, all because art - a "phantom need", one of the earliest things that defines us as humans, something we've used to communicate since before written language, something we handed down from parent to child in the Stone Age, is wrapped up in this exploitative system of people literally living and dying by what a bunch of rich clowns think. There's always going to be a conversation about the value of art as a form of expression attached to an artist, and the value of art as a part of collective culture detached from the artist; the fact that we have to complicate it with the additional aspect of monetary value in a system that declares that if you don't produce enough monetary value you deserve to die - it's bad enough that such a system exists in the first place, and it just gets messier and uglier when you ensnare art in it.

Thing is, it's natural to want recognition for your art - it is, after all, about expression, and a lot of the time that's about seeking connection. It's not natural to be put in a position where you might not be able to feed yourself, let alone your family, if you don't either get that recognition or give up on art completely for some other abusive undervalued job, and it is certainly not natural to be surrounded by people who think this is fair and just and you don't DESERVE to be able to keep yourself alive no matter how hard you work because either you're pretentious and lazy, or you're a sellout, depending on which side of the survivability line you land on.

Making it easier for people to Make Art is not, and will never be bad. Making it profitable for the people who think that art is for either lazy do-nothings or greedy sellouts to take over artists' work, however...to put it in less-than-academic terms...ew.

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Three | sans. (Part 2 of 3 | His POV)

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Still disoriented by the hug, the skeleton finds it difficult not to spare a glance at the human every so often. Though the train's near empty and it allows for some space between him and (Y/N), he still feels too close to them. It was rare for people to find a way to pay back at him for his constant joking around, and he's quite frankly bummed over learning Frisk had told on him. Though he wasn't one to use the same joke on two different people, he wanted to go a similar route with at least one of Frisk's parents, just to see how much they were alike to their child. As results of his defeat, he can only try to strike up another conversation with them while the train makes it to his stop.

"Frisk told me they lived with you only," he says, breaking the ice. "How's it like being a single parent? If you're, well... single, I mean."

He almost wants the ground to eat him up and spit him back to the Underground with how blunt he'd been just now. And while it wasn't intentional, his question along with the text messages from earlier made him feel as if he was involuntarily flirting with the human. Thankfully, they don't show an immediate reaction, and when they do react, it's followed with a smile.

"It's a bit tough sometimes, but… I'd say as long as you raise your child well and that you enjoy what you're doing, then it can be pretty rewarding." Warmth softens (Y/N)'s eyes and they appear vulnerable for just a moment. "I've raised Frisk on my own since they were a newborn, and it's been nice to see how far they've gone." The human stops talking to stare at him for a second; it's a second that takes far too long for his liking, and one where he feels as if he's being judged just as stern and ruthless as he once was during his time at the Underground. "Are you a father yourself? Your... question kind of makes me think that."

First the hug, and now this.

The kid's parent really knew how to give him frequent, near-death experiences, it seems.

"Uh…" Words stay stuck in his metaphorical throat, until he finally replies with, "No, but I hadda take responsibility over my bro when we were younger." He rubs the back of his neck and looks away from them, their eyes being far too attentive for his taste. "But I'd say it's nothin' compared to being a real parent, though."

"Don't sell yourself short," they say, nudging his shoulder. "I'd like to meet your brother someday. What's his name?"

"Papyrus -- the one you mentioned earlier."

"Do you have pictures?" 

It's almost impossible for him not to be amused at how excited they seem all of a sudden, yet he fights back a chuckle, not wanting for it to be taken the wrong way. He proceeds to search through his phone for a picture of his brother, stopping when he finds one with Frisk in it, too. "Here he is," he says, holding the phone out for them.

He scoots back as subtly as he can manage when they move a bit closer, ending the space of one seat once left between each other. Now, he sits right beside them, and he begins to wonder over how normal it is for a human to be this way; open and chatty. Surely, and just like how every other monster type was different in their own way, then humans had to have similar differences, too. As a result, Sans tries not to let (Y/N)'s sudden proximity get to him and ignores the weird feeling in his non-existent gut when he meets a bit closer with their face, greeted with intrigued eyes and an equally curious smile. "He's so grown up already. I honestly thought he'd be younger based on what you and Frisk told me!"

They move back a little, finally allowing him space to let out a breath and contemplate just what was that weird feeling from earlier ago; the monster couldn't possibly have developed a crush already, and it was far too silly and farfetched to even think about. Simply fooling around a little through text and having them hug him to backfire his prank wasn't near enough for any sort of attraction to build up yet. He tries to tell himself that time after time again, though he can't forget the gentleness of their touch when pulling him in for that hug, nor can he ignore how blatant and bold he'd been with them through texts. Still, if anything had to be fueling those feelings of his, it had to be the sheer lack of contentment he'd been experiencing as of recent, deeming him more vulnerable when it came to making and maintaining new relationships with others.

Sans was down, and while he didn't want to admit it, he needed to go back to some sort of routine and professional counseling to get him back on track. Even Frisk had seen him at his worst at one point, going as far as to admit he'd given up, yet now he's here again, and with the company of their primary caregiver, to boot. The human's eyes stay on him even as he stores the phone away, incrementing the same strange feeling from before. 

"How do you feel being out here now?" they ask. "If you lived underground, I'm guessing up here's much warmer, right? …Or at least most of it, I expect!" They seem to recall something and take a quick moment to gather their thoughts. "Your contact information said you worked in Snowdin, Waterfall, and Hotland. Is… Is the name Hotland true to its name?"

"Very," he says, chuckling. "And Snowdin and Waterfall, too." He knows he's not making eye contact anymore, so he tries to look at them again, but can't bring himself to no matter how many times he tries. "That's actually part of what I wanted to talk to you about."

The human nods with a smile, signaling for him to carry on speaking. The monster finally manages to look at them directly, aware this was most likely the last time they would smile at him after he told the truth about all the stuff that took place back at the Underground. Surely, and just as he suspected was something (Y/N) wanted to talk with him about, a parent wouldn't feel too fond knowing most of his kind had tried to hurt and chase after their child at one point. He's already anticipating an inevitable downfall in the barely-relationship he has with them, but that doesn't stop him from trying to make himself acquainted with them before any of that ever came to be a reality.

"I was wonderin' if you wanted to see what it's like down there," he says, setting those thoughts out to rest. "It could help you understand your kid's journey better, and you could also learn more about my kind, too."

When their smile grows, he almost feels a pang of guilt reach the very center of his ribcage. Knowing he'd hit it off well with them and knowing it wouldn't last long made him feel worse at every second he kept secret all the mistakes his kind made on their own. "I'd love to," they reply, eyes almost lighting up in joy. "So I assume you would be the one showing me there, then?" Sans nods and watches as they rummage something from their pocket, retrieving a notepad and pen; both are patterned with bunnies all over, a sight that makes the monster wonder if that stationary was a gift from Frisk. "That reminds me," they add, offering both items out to him. "Could you tell me if I'm missing anyone on this list?" He takes the items and ignores when their fingers brush with his, just as gentle as the hug felt. "It's supposed to be all the monsters Frisk made friends with there." 

"Sure," he says, flipping the notepad open. A grin returns to his face when he remembers just how many friends Frisk made back there, and how many more they would've likely made had they met the monsters on different terms, and had they stayed at the Underground for longer than they had. "It's gonna be one helluva list, though -- Kid made more friends than I can count."

They cover up a laugh, saying, "Didn't you used to be a scientist? I'm sure you know way more math than me."

"Maybe that's why it says past scientist 'stead of former?"

Though Sans had been joking around himself, he sees a frown fall on the human's face, a sudden change of expression followed by them shifting on their seat. "I'm sorry," they say, meeting his irises. "That was a rude question, wasn't it? It's… It's not exactly polite to bring up a stranger's past like that, isn't it?"

"I mean, yeah, but…" He pauses to observe their change in expression, far too concerned over something so trivial. "I'm okay with being honest, and that's exactly why I'm here, anyway." Their distressed expression stays intact, showing they barely took his words as true. "There's a lotta stuff I could've done and approached differently during my time at the Underground, and now I wanna change that." He doesn't know why he's running his mouth now, but one thing's for certain, and it's that he wants to keep on talking. If he was the judgment card out of all the major arcana, the human sitting next to him had to be either the tower or the hermit. "Maybe I can't tell you all about it right now, but there's a lotta stuff I need to clear up and come clean about before we can get to know each other better."

The train halts and the doors open, his stop finally marking itself on the screen. Only two of the few other people present stand up, and him and (Y/N) are the last two to exit. He walks with them side by side, continuing with the conversation until he finds the place he'd be inviting them over to.

------------------------------

Finally there, Sans goes with the human to a diner both Grillby and Muffet were jealous of, and just by stepping into the building, he can already tell why. It smells heavenly, its interiors look straight out of a home renovation magazine, and it's bustling with people, but it's still spacious enough not to make the surroundings feel stuffy or cramped. Most occupied tables have a room with a view sort of attraction, large glass panes allowing customers to observe the inner workings of the mall from the comfort of their seat and a cheap and warm meal. As a consequence, there's a couple of empty tables left farther away, these having the privacy of low lighting and no windows nearby, a spot more than adequate for the conversation he would soon have with Frisk's parent. He points at it with his irises and tells them to sit there while he goes to make both orders at the counter.

"Aren't we splitting the bill?" they ask, a hand already searching around for their wallet.

"I made the invite, so it's only fair I pay," he replies, winking at them. "Besides, after what we're gonna talk about here, you'll probably be mad enough to never talk to me again."

"How does that correlate with us not splitting the bill?" They quirk a brow, smile, and take a seat at the empty table nonetheless. "And who says that? We haven't even gotten to talk about anything too serious yet."

He laughs. "Believe me when I say the situation down there was a big ol', complicated mess." His gaze wanders to the counter, seeing only a line of two people waiting for their turn. "So here's to hopin' a lunch with you and treating you to it makes things a lil' bit less tense between us."

"You're trying to bribe me with food, is what you're saying?" Their smile grows and they relax on their seat.

He snickers. "Depends on how ya look at it, pal."

With that, he leaves the human at the table and goes off to the ordering line, setting the topic aside from his mind to focus on making the orders and taking the correct amount of currency used at the Surface. It takes no longer than five minutes for it to be his turn, though when it's time to finally say both orders, he freezes and so does the cashier when he looks at the table Sans had just walked out from. The name tag on the man's uniform shows to be a familiar last name; it's the only other last name besides (Y/N)'s found in Frisk's full name. 'Jerry', his first name reads, the owner of the name being a six foot tall hunk with tanned skin, plenty of muscle, blond hair, a sharp jawline, and every other feature one could expect out of the typical jock character seen in some American movies he often found thrown at the Underground's dumpster, source from where Alphys got her anime, Mettaton his glamour, and Napstablook their music.

The man's customer service smile falls to a near death stare when he meets with Sans's gaze, his glare and height enough to make the monster feel cornered.

"Is that (Y/N) over there?" Jerry asks, pointing with his eyes over to where they sit at. "What's a guy like you doing with my ex?"

Sans grins, resists the urge to roll his irises, and lifts his gaze up higher, not wanting to be towered over by the man behind the counter. "What about you, pal? That ex you're talkin' about, Frisk, and even CPS have been lookin' everywhere for ya. And now you jus' suddenly appear outta nowhere?"

"Oh, that's real damn rich coming from a guy who threatened my kid with death."

Oh.

Oh no.

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[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Rafael Caleb Isserlis Nicknames: His family all call him Ray, but most people just call him Rafael. Age: 30 Birthday: June 6th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Sunnyvale, California Current Location: Barcelona, Spain Speaks: English, Spanish, some Castilian, a bit of Hebrew but not much. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He graduated from UC Berkeley with a Bachelor of Arts degree. His original focus was Computer Software Engineering, but he switched his focus to Drawing and Painting in his sophomore year. Occupation: Bouncer at a strip club, and he has been working on a comic book with a friend (Rafael is working on the art, and his friend is the writer/story creator) for about a year. They hope to publish and sell it at some point soon. Vehicle: 2003 Opel Zafira in silver. Not the most attractive car, but he got it for cheap and it has been very reliable for him. Worldly Possessions: Lots of art supplies, a bunch of comic books, tons of dog toys, a photo album full of family pictures (put together for him by his mother before he moved to Spain), and tons of blankets and pillows because he loves to be comfy~ Pet(s): A black and white Mucuchi named Oreo. Rafael loves taking Oreo pretty much anywhere that dogs are allowed, and Oreo is always very happy to go on adventures.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: Just under 6’ Hair: He generally keeps it trimmed short just because it is easier to take care of, though he occasionally grows it out a little longer so the curls really show. He’s never dyed it before, so it is his natural dark brown color. Facial Hair: He always has at least a little bit of facial hair, even if it’s just some light scruffiness. He does like to let it grow out more sometimes. Eye Colour: Brown with some flecks of hazel Skin Tone: Dark, though the tone varies depending on the time of year. He is quite a bit darker in the warmer months thanks to his love of the outdoors. Clothing: He dresses casually for the most part, lots of jeans and t-shirts (especially band tees). If he’s working, he might wear a nice jacket as well. He almost always wears combat boots, unless he’s going running or hiking, then he’ll wear comfy sneakers. He loves wearing beanies, especially in colder weather, and he has them in a bunch of different colors. Although he doesn’t have much reason to dress up, he does look great in a suit and has some nice clothes on hand just in case. Distinguishing Marks: He has a couple of large tattoos on his chest, and a half sleeve on his left arm. He plans on getting more tattoos at some point, but he hasn’t decided what he wants or where. Face Claim: Jordan Calloway

H E A L T H Physical Health: Rafael is in excellent health– he loves doing any sort of physical activity, especially if it involves being outdoors, so he's very fit. He works out on a regular basis and eats quite healthy (though he's not opposed to a little junk food now and then). He gets sick now and then, just minor things like a cold or a mild case of the flu, but he's never been seriously sick or anything. Basically, Rafael takes great care of himself. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He can lift very heavy things thanks to his weight training at the gym. He's got good endurance/stamina– he can hike or run for quite a long time before needing a break. He's a good artist with a very distinctive style; he is constantly drawing, doodling on napkins, just keeping his hands busy whenever he can. Addictions: No addictions to speak of. Allergies: Citrus in general makes his mouth hurt, but sometimes he eats it anyway because he just can't resist. Mental Health: Generally good. He had a very stable upbringing with lots of supportive friends and family around. He is lucky enough to never have experienced any sort of mental illness or any really traumatic events in his life.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Rafael was born in Sunnyvale, California to wealthy parents (his mother is an OB/GYN, and his father is a very successful software engineer). He was the fourth of five children. He grew up surrounded by a very loving family, including much of his extended family, and had a near idyllic childhood. Growing up, Rafael always showed an aptitude for art– he was quite a skilled artist from a young age, but he also had a deep interest in his father’s work and loved all things to do with technology. He taught himself to code when he was about twelve years old and even made a couple of very basic games just to practice. Rafael was always a great student, not exactly straight A’s since he had a bit of a hard time in his literature classes and some of the more complicated math classes, but he never got any grades lower than a B, and he always tried his hardest and studied a lot, did extra credit whenever he could, etc. He also always had a lot of friends and was a bit girl crazy in high school, so he was always dating a new girl. He was on his high school’s soccer team as well– the PE coach always wanted him to go out for the football team, but Rafael hated football and still does, so he never bothered, preferring to use the time to do various volunteer projects or just hang out with his friends. Thanks to his excellent GPA and a wealth of extracurriculars and volunteer experience, Rafael had an easy time getting accepted into UC Berkeley. He initially majored in Computer Software Engineering, as he’d always planned– but after a trip across Europe with some of his friends just before his Sophomore year of college, he had a shift in perspective and realized that he really wanted to focus on his art after all. He changed his major to focus on Drawing and Painting, which was a bit of a surprise to his family, but they were, as always, very supportive of his decision, especially since it turned out he wouldn’t lose any progress toward his degree. After graduating, Rafael decided to do what he’d always wanted to do and live abroad. He decided on living in Spain, since he had taken nearly eight years of Spanish between high school and college and was almost fluent at that point. He spent a few years just travelling around Spain, exploring, working odd jobs, meeting people, just having a good time. Eventually he ended up settling in Barcelona after meeting a particularly good group of people, finding himself a quaint little house in the heart of the city, and getting a job as a bouncer in a local strip club. He has been there ever since. Job History: He didn't have his first job until college– he worked as a barista at a Starbucks on campus for his entire college career, which he actually really enjoyed. Once he moved to Spain and started traveling around, he did tons of odd jobs helping out with manual labor, working in restaurants, helping out around people's houses, doing yard work, just anything he could find that didn't require a lot of commitment. Once he settled in Barcelona, he took a job as a bouncer in a strip club because it paid decently well and fit into his schedule very nicely– that is where he's been ever since. Fondest Memories: Lots of happy childhood memories, too many to list actually. One of his fondest memories is his trip across Europe with his college friends. Plus all his adventures across Spain and the various times his sister Eliana has come to visit him. Worst Experiences: His paternal grandparents both died in a car accident when Rafael was fourteen, and that was probably the single worst experience of his life. A couple of his breakups were particularly rough on him as well.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Definitely not a smooth talker, but not super awkward either (unless he’s trying to flirt). He’s laid back when he speaks, not overly formal, always seems pretty relaxed (again, unless he is attempting to flirt). He doesn’t talk excessively, but he’s not quiet or shy either, always loves to jump into a conversation, especially if it’s about a subject he’s interested in. If someone gets him started on a subject he’s passionate about, he gets very animated and excited about it. Accent: American accent, which sometimes comes through in his Spanish– though his Spanish accent, for the most part, is pretty good. Favorite Phrases or Words: He says “oh snap!” a lot when speaking English, something that rubbed off on him thanks to his younger sister. Usual Curse Words: He doesn’t curse a whole lot– it’s not that he’s offended by cursing or anything, he just kind of doesn’t think to curse unless he’s angry or really passionate about something.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-A Sense of Humor: Rafael loves to laugh and has a pretty open sense of humor. The only type of humor he doesn’t vibe with is super offensive or raunchy/sexual humor, that’s just not his thing. But anything silly, clever, wordplay or puns, non-sequitur/weird humor, all of that is totally his cup of tea. Habits: Rafael is a bit fidgety and always has to be doing something with his hands. He can be still if he actively focuses on not fidgeting, but it's a little difficult for him. He's constantly drawing on napkins or little pieces of paper, on himself, and on others if they'll let him. If he doesn't have a pen handy then he'll crack his knuckles or he'll kinda rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. He just really cannot hold still unless his mind is fully occupied with something. Fears/Phobias: The whole idea of ghosts or demons really freaks him out. He also sometimes has a touch of existential dread and wonders if he’s going to be alone forever, but that usually doesn’t last long, just a sleepless night or two and then he gets past it. Strengths: Rafael is a very caring, sweet person who is genuinely interested in other people and loves to help whenever he can. He is attentive to people’s needs and tends to anticipate those needs in advance, so he is quite a thoughtful person. In general, he’s an optimist who likes to look on the bright side of things no matter how bad the situation may get and tries not to let the little things get him down. He is also very protective of those he loves, and though he is friendly to people almost all of the time, if anyone is rude to or tries to hurt someone he cares about, he won’t hesitate to speak up on behalf of or physically protect his loved one. Flaws: While his optimism is often a positive trait, Rafael sometimes takes it too far and doesn’t allow himself to just be sad or angry now and then, even when it would be good for him. He tends to suppress any emotion he perceives as negative instead of actually processing his feelings. In relationships, he can be a bit possessive and jealous at times, but he knows that’s his own problem and he really tries not to take it out on his partners. Hopes/Desires: He really hopes to get his comics published at some point– he just really wants to get them out there, even if they don’t get super popular or anything, he’s just really proud of their work and wants people to see it. He also really wants to find someone he can settle down with (or go on adventures with), someone he can spoil with tons of love and affection. He would love to get married and maybe have kids someday, but if his partner didn’t want children he would be okay with that also. Self-Esteem: Super good, honestly. He has his moments of insecurity just like anyone else, but overall he is comfortable with himself and believes himself to be a good person. Religion: Kinda Jewish, kinda atheist. It’s complicated.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up on his right side, usually. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: Night for sure, he is naturally a night owl. Top or Bottom?: Probably top more than anything, but if he was with a partner that wanted to switch it up, he would happily give it a try~ Partying or Relaxing?: This would be a really hard choice for him, but he would probably have to go with partying. He loves the atmosphere of a good party.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Besides his younger sister, Rafael's best friend is Isabel Maduro, a woman he met when he moved to Barcelona. They have been working together on a comic book series for a while now; she is a very talented writer who comes up with stories that blow Rafael's mind. They see each other fairly often not just to work on the comics, but to go on walks or out to lunch, or on the occasional hike. Relationship History: Rafael had a ton of relationships in high school, many of which lasted two weeks or less and obviously those relationships didn't get serious at all– Rafael was just kind of playing the field at that point. He didn't actually have sex, or a serious relationship, until his first year of college. He then dated his first serious girlfriend, and they lasted about six months before she broke things off because she felt he was more attached than she was and she didn't want to waste his time. That is actually how all of Rafael's relationships have gone since then– he always gets broken up with before a year has passed (often much sooner than that) because they're not as into him as he is into them, or he's just too much, being too intense, etc. As a result, he's now reluctant to express his feelings at all because he doesn't want to put pressure on anyone. Sexual Partners: Rafael doesn't exactly get around or anything, but he has had about a dozen sexual partners in his life, all of them women. Thoughts About Sex: Rafael loves sex within the confines of a relationship but doesn't have much interest in it other than that. One night stands, flings, anything like that is not for him. So far, Rafael has only been with women. He's been attracted to men before and he knows he's definitely not straight, but he's always been way too nervous to try and flirt with men. He has never come out to anyone but if he were to end up in a relationship with a man, he wouldn't hesitate to come out– his sister Eliana is a lesbian and currently engaged to another woman, and was readily accepted by their family, so he knows they would all support him if he ever told them.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Shira and Booker Isserlis Age(s): Both 64 years old. Social Standing: White collar for sure, and they are in very good social standing. Occupation(s): She is an OB/GYN who is set to retire in a couple of years, and he is a computer software engineer who doesn’t plan to retire anytime soon. Religion: She is Jewish and he is agnostic, but does observe/celebrate Jewish holidays and events. Quality of Relationship With Their Children: They love and support all of their children unconditionally. They do worry about Rafael sometimes just because he’s more of a wanderer than their other children, he’s a bit more aimless, but they know he can take care of himself. Living/Deceased: Both alive and in excellent health.

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): Daniel Isserlis, Itai Isserlis, Tamar Huang, and Eliana Isserlis (soon to be Eliana Florakis). Age(s): 34, 32, 31, 29. Yes, their parents basically had all of their children back to back. Social Standing: They have all done very well for themselves, and are all in good social standing. Occupation(s): Daniel is a software engineer and works with their father. Itai is a forensic accountant and he has helped to arrest many white collar criminals. Tamar runs a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged children by providing housing, food, education/tutors, and after school activities. And Eliana is an event planner who specializes in weddings. Religion: Daniel and Tamar are still devoutly Jewish. Itai and Eliana are more like Rafael– they appreciate and enjoy aspects of Judaism but they don’t really believe in it. Quality of Relationship with Character: Rafael loves all of his siblings and would do just about anything for them, but he is definitely the closest with Eliana out of all of them. He really only sees/talks to his other siblings a few times a year, but he talks to Eliana all the time. Living/Deceased: All alive.

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: He lives in a cute little one bedroom house right in the heart of the city, on a very busy street. He loves being right in the middle of everything, so it’s ideal for him. The place was a bit rundown when he first bought it, but he has fixed it up quite a bit and although no one would say it’s luxurious or anything, it’s definitely nice and comfortable. He loves having guests over and has lots of seating and a large TV, plus a pull-out couch in the living room just in case anyone stays the night, not to mention a spacious king sized bed in his room.

[frywen-bumbles]

The Way to a Man’s Heart Goes Through His... Cat? Ch3

AO3

As much as Jaskier adores the fact Roach seems to warm up to him, there's one thing he can't stand.

<I think the cat is planning to kill me>

   <why>

Jaskier snaps a picture where all that's visible are glowing eyes in the dark, staring down at him and sends it.

<She keeps staring at me> <And tries to sleep on my face> <And licks my hair!> <She won't let me drive her away> <help>

   <Maybe she secretly likes you>

<Then why won't she let me touch her?> <I have to hide under my blanket so she won't eat my hair>

   <yeah, i'm with Essi, you're on your own>

   <think of it as a free haircut>

<Firstly eww> <Secondly how can you be so cruel> <Have you no mercy for my luscious locks???>

   <absolutely none>

<screaming emoji> <you are horrible friends>

   <good night Jaskier try not to die>

   <good dying>

<when you don't hear about me in the morning you will regret those were your last words to me>

   <your thesis supervisor will drag you back from the grave to finish your thesis>

<don't remind me I'm trying to sleep!!!>

   <sleep tight don't let the type errors bite>

<I hate both of you>

   <kissy face emojis>

   <zzz>

The morning routine is something Jaskier has learned to both love and hate. His alarm rings at 8 like every morning and like possessed Roach jumps on top of him and screams.

"Mmmm yeah, I'm awake, Roach..." Jaskier mumbles and tries to sleep just one more minute. Roach is having none of it. She runs over him, to the door and screams bloody murder and jumps on top of him again.

"Please... Roach... just two... minutes..." Jaskier tries to bury his head under the blankets but Roach walks on top of him and screams again.

"Ugh... you're heavy... Okay, okay, I'm getting up. See Roach, I'm getting up..."

He walks downstairs to feed Roach who keeps screaming and thrilling until her bowl is full and walks back up to brush his teeth.

Roach doesn't take long until she demands to be let in the bathroom, scratching and meowing making her demands known.

"One of these mornings I will get to brush my teeth in peace," Jaskier sighs as Roach curls herself into the sink. This is not one of those mornings.

He checks his phone over morning coffee and is surprised to find a message from Fiona so early.

   <Help me out>

<Sure, swallow. What do you need?>

Fiona sends him a picture of her math assignment.

<What is it you're having trouble with?>

   <I don't understand anything.>   ��<I asked uncle L but he was no help.>    <I usually ask uncle E but he's not here>    <What do i do?>

Jaskier looks at the math over and starts to explain it in detail. It's somehow endearing how much trust Fiona puts in him and he does not want to ruin it for her. Not that third-grade mathematics is hard, he suspects 'uncle L' just isn't that good at explaining things.

He can't help but venture to reread a different conversation entirely while he waits for Fiona to finish.

A picture of Cat Dad and Fiona. And actual texts after it.

   <how is roach>

<She's very fine! Quite vocal about what she wants but still lovely!>

   <good>    <let her outside>    <she enjoys it>

And on another day:

   <thank you for the pictures>

Then another selfie with Cat Dad and Fiona, this time taken by Cat Dad. He is very bad at taking selfies, but somehow even that is endearing, despite the man looking like he's a member of a biker gang with the beard and all of the black leather. When he got the first picture, he hadn't even noticed. He had been too distracted by... other things. Jaskier really shouldn't feel this giddy just looking at a picture. Just rereading the texts. But he can't help himself.

   <i like seeing roach happy>

The man is clearly crazy about his cat. And what's hotter than a person who loves their pets to the moon and back. Nothing, if you ask Jaskier.

<I'm glad you like the pictures! Like I told you, I'll send one or two every day!>

   <tell me before you run out of cat food>    <i know a person at a pet store>    <dont feed her too many treats>

<I won't, I promise>

What Jaskier doesn't tell is feeding the cat cheese every single day to get her brushed. Little treats never hurt anyone.

Fiona sends him a picture of finished assignments.

<Very good! You did it on your own, I'm very proud of you!>

   <Thank you, MrJ!!>

Jaskier thinks he will melt. While being a tutor wasn't in his job description he doesn't really mind. To him, it's evident what Fiona wants most of all is company and support and he's happy to provide. The family she's staying with is trying their best, Jaskier is sure of it. But from what Jaskier gathers through Fiona's texts, they don't seem to have enough time to look through her school work as much as she wishes they would.

How can two people he's never even met manage to occupy most of he's thoughts?

***

Jaskier has barely put the first forkful of instant ramen in his mouth when he hears the door open.

"Geralt, it's me!"

Jaskier scrambles to meet whoever just walked through the locked door using their own key, what the fuck.

"H-hello...?" he manages to greet through a mouth full of food before he even sees who it is.

Jaskier is not one to be intimidated nor is he one to be at loss for words.

Somehow, the woman in front of him manages to do both. She's gorgeous, her raven hair falling in curls over her shoulders, violet eyes staring straight at him like he's a piece of cheap meat and suddenly Jaskier is keenly aware of wearing nothing but pants and an undershirt, his hair a ruffled mess, hands covered in ink, pencil and pen marks.

"You're one of those... trainees. Melitele forbid, what sort of trash does Geralt drag in here, why aren't you with the old wolf?"

Jaskier opens his mouth to answer but is immediately interrupted.

"No, don't answer that. Where is Geralt, I need to talk to him."

"I... um..." Jaskier gets the feeling this is a person who gets what she wants. She quirks an eyebrow at him expecting an answer and when none come she sighs, a dramatic gesture Jaskier is not sure he could perform better even if he tried.

"Where. Is. Geralt?" she asks like he's an idiot and Jaskier things at this moment he really is.

"He, um... is not here?" Jaskier tries his best. He does. But something about the woman, no matter how beautiful she is, radiates power, like she could crush him without even blinking an eye.

The woman eyes him, up and down and glances behind him to the kitchen. And smiles. It's a small amused quirk of her lips, one that makes Jaskier spin around immediately only to spot Roach sitting on top of his papers, meticulously dropping every single pen to the floor.

"Roach, no!"

Roach meows and jumps down from the table with a mrrrp. She trots to the woman and rubs herself against her legs before she jumps up to her scratching post to stare at them.

Jaskier kneels to collect his pens, muttering curses under his breath.

"You know Roach."

"Um, yeah?" Jaskier mutters as he crawls deeper under the table to reach the pens.

"Soooo, witchers, huh? Interesting topic of research."

Jaskier hits his head on the table.

"Yeah... yeah I. I know it's not the most conventional one but I do find it quite fascinating especially when you look at all of the historical songs..." Jaskier crawls from underneath the table and is met with the woman standing next to him and suddenly he's keenly aware of being in his underwear on his knees on the floor in front of one of the most beautiful women he's ever seen.

He blushes.

He's sure he's never blushed as much as he is right at this moment and he honestly wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

"You're not one of the trainees," the woman says eyeing him, amusement still lingering on her lips.

"No, I'm not," Jaskier admits and tries to get to his feet in a somewhat dignified way. He fails and all of his pens scatter to the floor again. "Fuck..."

"And who are you then?"

"I'm the cat-sitter. Julian." Jaskier gives himself a mental slap. He is an adult person why does he introduce himself like a toddler? "Can I please go put my trousers on?" he pleads. Maybe clothed he'll have a chance to be on equal grounds with the woman.

"Sure."

A few minutes later he comes back down, fully clothed this time, to find the woman sitting by the table and reading his scribbles.

"Um, hello?" Jaskier greets the woman again. She looks up but does nothing to stand up to greet him in return. "Julian Pancratz, the cat-sitter." Jaskier extends his hand to her and she takes it.

"I'm Yen. Geralt is my-... we're... friends. Now, where has that grumpy bastard gone?" The woman - Yen answers and looks at him expecting an answer immediately.

"I honestly don't know, he only told me it's work-related. I've never even met him. I was recommended by a friend of his who is also a client of mine. He occasionally answers the texts I send him, maybe you could try to reach him by phone?"

"He answers your texts? What did you do, enchant him?" Yen sounds honestly baffled and it makes Jaskier feel bad. She obviously has some sort of history with the Cat Dad so the least he could do is answer her.

"He only answers every now and then. I don't think it was even his idea to reply."

Yen smiles, a true smile this time, not just an amused quirk of lips, "You're probably right." She picks up one of the papers again and taps it, "Ever met a real witcher?"

"No, I haven't. I've just always found the stories interesting... I have plans for real research for my doctoral thesis as soon as I manage to finish my master's degree, I just need to get around to figuring out... well pretty much everything outside of the basic structure. I already know all of the material by heart, it's just... just look at this, how can someone write something so vile about people who work to keep us safe from monsters? And this here..." Jaskier rummages through the piles of papers and pushes the ones he meant on Yen's hands, not waiting for her to answer. "And look, I even came up with this account of someone killing a witcher after he had finished a job for them, just the audacity of it all!" He glances up at Yen, suddenly keenly aware he is probably either boring her or making her uncomfortable with all of this talk about monsters and monster hunters. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't bore you with this..." He reaches to take the papers from Yen's hands but she holds them out of his reach.

"No, you're not boring me at all. Please, tell me more about your current paper?"

Yen proves to be a far better company than Jaskier first thought. At the end of their discussion and a few cups of tea later, Yen turns the conversation back to him.

"Why do you live here? Wouldn't it be easier to write in your own place?"

"Oh, you know, roommates..." Jaskier mumbles, avoiding Yen's eyes. No way in hell is he going to tell a complete stranger he sleeps in his friends' sofas and in the musicology society's guild room at the uni when he can't find anyone to room him between jobs. His parents already think him a failure, no need to add a complete stranger to the mix.

"Hmm," Yen agrees and stands up. "I feel I have held you long enough. Good luck with your thesis. Here is my number, call me if you get into any trouble while you're staying here." Yen scribbles a phone number on the edge of one paper with a bright red pen she picks up from the floor.

"Um... what trouble?" Jaskier asks, suddenly wary. "I have only told one person the address like was the deal? I haven't told them anything else, I'm not in danger, right? This isn't some mob bosses hideout or something? I'm in trouble, aren't I? Melitele's tits, Essi will kill me..."

"Calm down, no trouble. Just... if anything comes up, like bills or something and you can't reach Geralt. He can be unreachable for days." Yen smiles at him, an uneasy smile, not quite reaching her eyes.

"Oh, okay, yeah, that's. That's good..." Jaskier feels so stupid. Not only has he managed to be half-naked while Yen walked in, but now he has also made a complete ass out of himself.

"Take care of Roach," Yen says as a goodbye and walks out of the door. Jaskier rushes to say goodbye but when he reaches the door, she's already gone.

Come night Jaskier is surprised how much he has managed to work on his thesis. Talking about it with someone made writing so much easier, even when most of the talk was him ranting about the unfair treatment of witchers which will never end up in the final paper.

He grabs something to eat before bed and spots Roach. She sits facing the front door, waiting for someone to walk through it.

It breaks Jaskier's heart.

Roach has done it every night, giving up only after Jaskier has gone to bed to crawl on the other side of the bed to stare at him.

Jaskier snaps a picture of Roach and sends it despite the late hour.

<Roach misses you>

Jaskier doesn't expect an answer.

   <tell her im sorry and i love her>

That. That is too cute. Jaskier can't handle it, he just can't.

"Roach, your owner is a big old sap and he wanted me to tell you he's sorry and he loves you, okay?" Jaskier tells her from a respectable distance away. Roach looks at him and meows pitifully.

"I know, girl. I'm sure he misses you as much as you miss him. Come on now, I'm going to bed, you can come and stare at me until I fall asleep."

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #379

“sometimes i fear the worst in me, is the best you’ll ever know”

Have you ever been in weather below 0 Fahrenheit (-17 Celsius)? No. Have you ever been caught outdoors away from shelter during a thunderstorm? Yeah. Most notably, the only concert I've ever been to was outside during a thunderstorm, haha. Made it more badass. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never had one. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Not that I really ever had a job long enough to notice. How many times have you stayed at a hotel in the past year, and where? We never stayed overnight anywhere, we just visited one once to see my dying grandmother for the last time. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? I used to do front flips, but I was too scared to do a back flip in case I landed on my neck and broke it. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? They all sucked. Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? Dad did the "wrong" way, which I understood first, so Mom was insistent on teaching me the "proper" way, I think because she thought the knot was tighter and therefore safer. Currently how many pictures are on your cellphone? Not a lot, but I don't feel like counting. Do you think dimples are cute? Yep. Would you rather chew fruity or minty gum? It really depends on what I'm feeling. The last time you went to the mall, who did you go with? My mom and older sister. What’s something you used to collect when you were younger? Stickers. Have you watched a movie today? No. Aside from your own, whose house did you last set foot into? My sister's. Do you love soft pretzels? Oh hell yes. Cinnamon and sugar are THE best. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because the dog is stressing her the fuck out. I saw it coming eventually. Are you more likely to like someone before you really know them, or do you feel you like them more after you know a lot about them? When it comes to really liking someone, I like to know them well. That way, I'm more confident in knowing me liking them is justified. Do you buy people cards on special occasions, or do you prefer to make your own? I admittedly don't do either currently, but I'd buy cards if I had an income. When was the last time you were being hypocritical? I don't know, but I know I can be without realizing just like everyone else. Where on your body was the last cramp you had? Why did you have this cramp? I almost exclusively cramp up in my lower left abdomen when I have my period. What is the weirdest name you’ve ever heard? One of my classmates in college was named Apple. Do you get embarrassed when people hear you sing/compliment you on your singing ability? If so, why is that? I get more shy than anything. I don't know why, I just do. Are you good at comforting people when they’re upset? I hope so. I sure try to be. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. .-. Do you own one of those singing fish? Do you think they are silly or funny? I don't, but I think they're pretty funny, mostly though because I just remember that video of one glitching horribly where it would get stuck and "sing" all slow and demonic, then it would snap back to normal. I love that video too much lmao. Has anyone ever accused you of being bipolar or any other mental disorder? Do you really have any mental disorders? "Accused" is the wrong word, I've just been professionally diagnosed. I have a lot of disorders. Did you buy the last thing you bought with your own money? If not, whose money did you buy it with? I paid for my tattoo. Do you like to put your feet up on the dashboards of cars? Do you parents yell at you if you do that in cars? I never do, never have, and never would. That shit would FUCK you up in a wreck. Don't take car safety lightly. Which Beatle is your favorite, or do you love them all equally? I don’t have a favorite, given I know none of them personally at all. Do you enjoy classic rock? If so, who are some of your favorite classic rock artists? Well duh. I love a hell of a lot, don't make me dig through my head to ensure I leave no one out, lol. Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? Yes. Are you more of a dog or cat person? Cat person. I see that more and more and more as time goes on. Dogs tend to just have too much energy for me. Not all, of course, but still. Have you ever failed math? I did in college. Skittles! What's your favorite color? Red. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I don't think so. But who the fuck knows with how fucked up my nightmares are. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them? Just that I love my family. Can you sleep with the light on? It's possible for me to, but it's difficult. What’s the most bizarre horror movie you’ve ever seen? Hm, I dunno. What band can’t you stand listening to? I absolutely hate The Talking Heads. Would you ever take a lie detector test for your significant other? No, for two reasons: I don't believe they're accurate, and two, I'd be having an anxiety attack over whether or not my nerves would "show" something. What is your favorite Mystery/Crime/FBI related show? Uhhhh does Sherlock count? Jason and I used to watch that and I loved it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? I think parrots specifically are super fascinating, but I wouldn't. I don't want any potentially noisy pets. How's your relationship between you and your grandparents? They're all dead. The only grandparent I really knew well was my maternal grandmother, and we had... a lot of differences. I don't think she liked me much, and she was WAY too old-fashioned, uptight, and mean to my mom for me to get along well with her. Ever had a forbidden love or lover? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Maybe? What is your current problem? I had a fucking dream that was stupid detailed that Jason and I got married and so today has been shit. I love motherfucking PTSD. Do you like canopy beds? Yeah, I wish I had one. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Would you rather live in a small town or a big city? Neither, really... I want to live in the woods/some area relatively isolated, but with just a few neighbors spotted around so I'm not TOTALLY alone. But to entertain the question, I guess I'd pick a small town. If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? A lion for its strength and speed. Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? I LOVE that show. That shit's got no right to be as funny as it is lmao. Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? Nah, I never watched it. Last alcoholic drink you had? A REALLY strong margarita that I could barely drink because of the alcohol concentration. What are you known for? Probably liking meerkats way too much. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever gone frog hunting? No, not exactly. However, whenever my dad and I went catfishing, I would always do a scan of the area for toads. You'd always find 'em. Do you ever suffer from dry skin? My skin, particularly my scalp, is STUPID dry. Gross to picture, but imagine having both a clinically dry scalp as well as dandruff. That's me. Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal? No, Roman would never allow me to cuddle something other than him, haha. What’s the weather like right this moment? It's cloudy out and 59*F. Do you bite on straws, lollipop handles, or ice cream sticks? No, that's always grossed me out. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? Honestly, I don't remember, though I'm sure you'd assume I would, lol. Probably his bed because we were at his place more than mine, but idr. Where is your mother’s side of the family descended from? My maternal grandmother had German ancestry, while I think her husband's was mostly Irish. What do you occupy your time with on flights? I just listen to my iPod and look out the window. Do you dog-ear pages in books? Yes. What’s a made up word of yours? I don't have any. It's weird, I don't know why, but it's a pet peeve of mine when people just make up words like they actually mean something. Even though isn't that exactly how language came about? I dunno, it's weird. Do you use Q-Tips? Only on the exterior of my ears unless something is really bothering me interiorly. Frequent use of Q-Tips is how I got ear wax literally adhered to my eardrum that required medical attention. It just pushed the stuff further and further back. Ever gone out with somebody you didn’t like? Well, I can't honestly say I was very romantically interested in Tyler, but we still dated for like a week or two. I DID sort of like him in high school my freshman year, but this was SO many years later that it's not fair to say I "knew" him anymore. I kinda just agreed to go out because I felt bad saying no and also just figured that we'd re-familiarize with each other through dates, anyway. What hero or heroine do you most relate to in history, fiction, or song? I have no idea. What makes you dizzy? Just about everything, it seems. I have insanely low blood pressure due to some prescriptions that I HAVE to move slowly, especially when standing up, if I don't want to fall on my face. Are your parents liberal or conservative? I think my dad is more conservative, but Mom is maybe more liberal? I actually don't know. Do you like your teeth? Did you have braces? No, because I went through a span of taking horrible care of them during my worst depression that they now have a conspicuously yellow tint. I had braces before. Are you happy with your height? Sure?