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f1united · 3 years ago

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Secret - DR3 Imagine

Part 4 to Zoo!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Daniel Ricciardo Imagine

Summary: You share your pregnancy with his family

This contains mentions of pregnancy so please do not read if this is something you may find triggering!

Ever since you and Daniel had taken the digital test, he hadn’t left your side. The confirmation that you were growing a mini Ricciardo inside of you made him smile more than he ever had before, something that you thought was borderline impossible. He had booked a trip for the two of you to spend some time together before he was thrown back into the busy f1 season. It was as though you had just met for the first time, staying up late talking and not being able to keeps your hands off each other wherever you went. When you’d flown back to Australia nothing changed and you felt yourself falling in love with him all over again.

Daniel laid beside you in bed, one arm around your shoulders and the other holding up the precious scan photo of your little baby that had been taken yesterday. Ever since you’d been given it neither one of you could seem to stop looking at it in complete awe. Truth be told there wasn’t too much to see, you weren’t too far along but that didn’t seem to matter.

“Have you thought about how to tell your family today?” you asked, diverting you eyes from the picture to his. Today was the last day Daniel would see his family before you both headed back to Europe to finish preparing for the first race in just two weeks’ time. The annual barbeque had become a tradition and was always a lovely way to say goodbye.

You hadn’t told anyone about your pregnancy yet. You were somewhat scared that if people knew your little secret it would burst this bubble that the two of you had found yourself in. However, you knew that he probably wanted to tell his parents in person, and it was uncertain the next time that would be.

“Not really I just think I’ll know when the times right, they’re going to be so excited” you knew he was right. They would be so excited, and you didn’t have to even doubt for a second that they wouldn’t support the both of you.

“We should probably get up, they’ll be here soon” you didn’t want to move, you could’ve laid like this forever, but you did need to get ready and start the food prep. You slowly lifted yourself up, placing a kiss on Daniel’s forehead as he unwrapped himself from you. It wasn’t until you were on your feet that you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and let out a small gasp.

“Daniel look” his eyes snapped towards you and watched intently as you carefully touched the small bump. You hadn’t started showing much and you were sure that this was just being you hadn’t been to the toilet yet this morning but none the less it all started to feel a bit more real.

“Oh my god” Daniel climbed out of bed and stood behind you, placing his arms and hands over yours to hold the little baby too.

“I suppose I should go and pick out a floaty dress for the day” you smiled. It didn’t take long for everyone to arrive. You had let them all in while Daniel stayed in the garden with his barbeque and his beer. They never came empty handed and you gave them a hand carrying the food through to the dining table outside. His nephew was the first one to greet Daniel, shortly followed by everyone else.

“What does everyone want to drink?” you asked as everyone began to sit down. You figured this way you could pour yourself a soft drink without anyone noticing you weren’t on the alcohol too.

“Another one of these please” Daniel waved his beer can towards you and you nodded in acknowledgement.

“I’ll have a glass of white wine if you’ve got one please” His mum asked, shortly followed with an agreement of his sister while her husband followed suit.

You turned your attention towards his dad.

“I’ll come in and give you a hand” he replied to which you gratefully accepted.

“Isaac what about you?”

“What have you got” he asked as he ran around the garden.

“Oooooo where do I start, fizzy drinks, fruit shoots”

“Why don’t you go with Auntie Y/N and have a look” His mum suggested to which he nodded his head and ran towards the kitchen while you and Joe followed behind.

You opened the fridge stacked with drinks as Isaac held his hands up for up to lift him up. You placed him on your hip as you went through the different options with him until he decided on some lemonade.

“Now can I trust you to give Uncle Daniel his beer without drinking it before you get there?” you asked. “And then I’ll bring out your drink with mine?” The little boy nodded furiously as you handed him the can and put him down on the floor before watching him run off. You grabbed the lemonade and wine from the fridge and placed it next to the glasses Joe had just got out the cupboard. You felt your chest get warm at the site of Isaac passing Daniel the beer and giving him a hug in response.

“How have you been” Joe asked, snapping you out of your little daydream.

“Good actually” you replied, “Really good”.

“I can tell” he laughed slightly at how smiley you were. “I take it you won’t be having one of these” he nodded towards the wine he has cracked open and started distributing between the glasses. Your evident shock made him laugh once more. “Don’t worry, I got you a wine glass for your lemonade, no one needs to know” he gave you a small wink.

“Is it really that obvious?” You asked him as you finished pouring yours and Isaacs drinks.

“Not at all you just have this unmistakable pregnancy glow, Grace had the same thing when she was pregnant with Daniel. I don’t think anyone else has picked up on it” you breathed a sigh of relief at his honesty.

“We were planning on telling you all today” you admitted

“I knew as soon as he sent us those pictures of you away on holiday, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy. Grace insisted you’d secretly got engaged or eloped” you couldn’t help but laugh at his comment. You were so grateful for the relationship you had with Joe, and so was Daniel.

“I hadn’t even thought about that if I’m honest. We had the first scan yesterday” You pulled open the drawer to the left of you and placed it on the side. You knew you would have needed it close by to show the others at some point this afternoon, you just didn’t realise it would be so soon. His eyes filled up with tears slightly as he brought you in for a hug.

“Oh Y/N, I’m so happy for the both of you”

“I can’t wait to see him become a dad” you admitted as you buried your head in his shoulder in an attempt to reduce the tears.

“What am I missing out on here?” Daniel voice shocked the both of you as you let go of Joe and looked at the Australian walking through the kitchen towards you.

“We were just talking about how great of a dad you’re going to be” Joe smiled at his son as Daniel looked between the two of you slightly confused. “Oh come on she didn’t tell me I can just tell, I don’t know how your mother can’t. It just takes one look at the two of you to know there’s something going on. Plus, the last few times we’ve seen you, you haven’t been able to keep your hands off her belly. Usually they’re on her arse”. You let out a laugh at his comment as he gave Daniel a hug.

“Now lets go and eat, Dan can you carry some of these out?” Joe asked as you watched Dan slide the scan photo into his back pocket.

It wasn’t long before you all tucked into the food and spent the afternoon chatting about old memories and making new ones. A badminton tournament had broken out at one point, then Isaac had decided he wanted to go swimming so hopped into he pool with Daniel for a while.

It wasn’t until the sun started to set that you remembered you had dessert in the fridge.

“Ill come and grab them with you” Daniel stated as he got up from the table and held your hand as you both walked into the kitchen. The second you were out of sight from the others he pulled you in for a kiss. You giggled slightly at the taste of beer on his lips.

“What was the for Ricciardo?” you asked him as he hugged you tightly.

“What I’m not allowed to kiss my girlfriend anymore? The mother of my child?”

“Keep your voice down” you reminded him as he trailed a few kisses down your neck and collar bone. “Seriously what had gotten into you?” You giggled as he looked up to meet your eye, you could see the tipsiness dancing around them. “Your mum brought over some champagne for a toast to you leaving, I was thinking we could open it with dessert and tell them then?” Daniel nodded in front of you, almost immediately appearing to have sobered up as he planted his hands on your belly.

“I love you so much” he told you as he rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you more” you told him as you shared a kiss once more.

Joe began to fill up the champagne glasses once you’d both returned to the table as you began to cut everyone a slice of the cake you’d brought and it wasn’t long until Grace stood up with her glass in hand.

“I just wanted to raise a toast, to appreciating the time we’ve had with Daniel and to wish him all the best in the new season” Before everyone could cheers, Daniel stood up to and you felt your body become nervous with excitement as he held onto your hand tightly.

“Before we leave we just wanted to say how much we’re going to miss you so we have a picture that we want you to keep while we’re away” Daniel dug into his pocket and handed the image to Isaac first who was sat next to you.

“What is it?” he asked. You point at the small shape in the middle of the image.

“That right there is a picture of Baby Ricciardo” you moved your hands to your stomach and rubbed it slightly. “Who right now is sat in here” Gasps were heard all around the table as Isaac passed the picture to his mum.

“So it’s your baby?” He asked

“Mine and Daniel’s yes, it’s your little cousin” you told him.

“Oh my!” you looked over to Grace who was making her way towards you both with her arms wide open as you got up from your chair to embrace her.

“I’m going to be a nanny again” she cried as the rest of the table got up to congratulate you. “Joe get up your sons going to be a dad”

“Oh I know, she’s been on the lemonade all day” He chuckled. After the evening had come to an end and everyone had said their goodbyes you climbed into bed with Daniel and you both just smiled at one another as you realised that nothing was going to stop the love you both shared and that your baby might just be the most loved person in the entire world.

#daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo one shot #f1 imagine #f1 masterlist #lando norris #charles leclerc #george russell #max verstappen #lewis hamilton #valteri bottas #pierre gasly

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crash-hawk · 3 years ago

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another fic title -promises cast aside

Promises, Promises -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello, stranger, and welcome. Tell me who you are, and why you've come, and what I can do to make you happy.

Truth be told, there isn't much that rattles Punz, something he rather prides himself on. He's stared down death a hundred times and laughed, reflecting it back at its sender like a badminton player executing a killer serve. Even the sight of the blasted valley and the red web that had grown over it hadn't been worth much more than a raised eyebrow. But hearing those words, plain and perfectly sincere, from the thing that pulses at the center of the cavern like a beating heart, leaves him feeling lost and uncertain, struck nearly speechless.

"I'm..."

Punz, yes. And you don't have to speak. It's better if we converse this way, anyway...we wouldn't want your nosy companion up above to overhear, would we? Not yet, at least.

Right. Is it right? It feels right enough. Sam's been nothing but...

A liar and a hypocrite of the highest degree. And a thief besides. But he's made a mistake, hasn't he? He's brought you to me. Would you like me to tell you why you're here, Punz?

How would you know?

Because you've told me. You've already told me everything about you.

What the fuck are you talking about? We just fucking got here, how could I--

You're here because you broke a promise, to the only one in the world who means anything to you. You promised your brother that no matter what, it would be you and him against the world. But he couldn't keep up with you, could he? Your ambitions were too big to achieve with a child dragging behind you like an anchor. So you left him behind.

Fuck you, Punz snarls. You don't understand anything! It was for him, for both of us. I came back for him--

And when you did, you found him gone, didn't you? Found him in the home of a man who betrayed you, who dedicated his life to the service of the bastards who think that they own the world. How much do you want to bet that he'll have your brother working for them before long? Before he looks to them as family before he so much as glances at you? Images flash through Punz's mind, bitter as alkali: his brother at eight and himself at sixteen, scrabbling for scraps on the streets of another nameless city; his brother at twelve, fighting by his side with the knives he'd made for him, a natural even at that early age; at fifteen, lying fevered in a guest bed in Sam's clockwork eyesore of a house, hovered over by the laughing idiot of a Royal doctor his former friend had taken for a lover, snarling at Sam in his gleaming traitor's armor that he's taking his brother home, he needs me, and Sam shouting back Is this what he needs? He was shot looking for you!

I can give your brother back to you, the thing says. And I can give you both so much more. You'll never go another day wondering where your next meal is to come from, or who means to stab you in the back. The world that once cast you both aside will know your names, from the mightiest king to the meanest peasant...and they will fear you both.

The picture it paints for him is so vivid, so darkly compelling, that for a moment Punz forgets to breathe.

And what do you want from me in return? he thinks, with an effort. I'm not an idiot. Nothing comes without a price, right?

I think you'll find my price eminently reasonable, the thing says. And another thing: I don't lie, and I don't go back on my word. I will give you what you want: you and your brother, together, wanting for nothing, known by many and feared by all.

The thing speaks on, and Punz listens.

#Dream SMP #Fanfiction #Kaleidoscope AU #Thank you for giving me the excuse to finally finish this Jamie #Perfect prompt

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bbangsoonie · 4 years ago

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tangerine guesthouse

member: haknyeon genre: fluff word count: 2,238 synopsis: on a healing trip to jeju island, you meet a guesthouse owner who goes the extra step to make sure you enjoy your stay.

a/n: happy birthday to our jeju boy, juhaknyeon ! 🍊

After impulsively quitting your job, you packed a suitcase and booked a last minute flight to Jeju Island. You wanted to escape but unfortunately didn’t have enough money for an international flight. So you found yourself flying over on a domestic plane.

Everything about this journey was spontaneous. The money you saved up on the side from your tedious 9-5 job was all spent on this healing trip. With nothing but a camera in your hands, you were determined to finally rest and have fun for once. You hadn’t had the luxury to do so in years.

Before you left Incheon Airport, you reserved a room at a random bed and breakfast you found online. “Tangerine Guesthouse”. It had a cute name.

The taxi dropped you off in front of the place and you cautiously walked in with your bag rolling behind you. You peaked inside the building, unsure if you were supposed to just enter.

“Hello!” a chirpy voice greeted you. Startled, you jumped as you turned around to face the person who nearly gave you a heart attack. Seeing him only made your heart beat faster. He was cute. Extremely cute.

“Are you here to rent a room?” he asked.

“Y-Yes, I made a reservation a couple of hours ago,” you pulled out your phone to show him the details.

“Ah, Y/n! Yes, welcome,” he beamed. “My name is Juhaknyeon but please call me Haknyeon.”

You reached out to shake his hand and were surprised to feel how soft they were.

“Allow me to show you to your room,” he said before guiding you upstairs.

The room was fairly small but cozy. It had everything you needed and made a cute space for photos. After Haknyeon left, you began to unpack.

You heard a knock on the door and mindlessly told your guest to come in. You looked up when they entered, surprised to see another male.

“Hello! I’m Sunwoo and I’m staying in the room next to yours,” he introduced himself. “I just wanted to stop by to say hi and get friendly.”

“Nice to meet you, Sunwoo. I’m Y/n,” you smiled.

“The other guests and I are gathering this evening to just chat over beer. Would you like to join us as well? We’d love to have you,” he said.

On a normal occasion, the introvert in you would have declined. However, you were on a healing trip and resolute about trying new things. So you happily accepted the invitation and promised to meet them in the yard at 7.

You had about four hours until then and decided to kill time by exploring the neighborhood. You enjoyed the change in scenery and the fresh air that Seoul could not offer.

You found yourself alone at a nearby beach and embraced the solitude. There were no managers yelling at you about deadlines or coworkers passive aggressively criticizing your work here. It was just you and the roaring waves. Grabbing your camera, you took a few shots of the salty sea. Perhaps you would return to your hobby and pursue photography.

You allowed yourself to consider it as an option as you headed back to the streets to look for a restaurant. You settled for the closest one and were satisfied with your choice when you took a bite of their seafood ramen.

You roamed around a bit more after the meal. You came across a souvenir shop and ended up spending a lot of time—and money—there. You certainly had a thing for cliche souvenirs. Keychains, magnets, mugs. You loved them all.

You came back to the lodging with a bag full of trinkets you knew you would keep instead of gifting. The retail therapy added a bounce in your walk as you climbed up the stairs. You organized them accordingly as you happily hummed.

You looked at the clock and saw that it was time to convene with the rest of the boarders. You threw on a cardigan before going back outside.

Haknyeon was by the grill flipping meat and Sunwoo was busy taking out the drinks from the fridge. You awkwardly stood around, not knowing where to go.

“Take a seat wherever you want,” Sunwoo called out.

Finding an empty spot, you sat down and looked around. The yard was decorated nicely to bring a nice ambiance.

“Hi, I’m Eric and this is Hyunjoon,” the guy next to you grinned.

You exchanged greetings with the two and introduced yourself. You had to admit it was nice to meet such amiable people.

The night went by with the five of you conversing over black pig samgyupsal and alcohol. Haknyeon was a big foodie, Sunwoo was a big tease, Eric was a big dork, and Hyunjoon was a big sports enthusiast. Hyunjoon came to Jeju to enjoy horseback riding and planned on dragging Sunwoo and Eric along.

“If you guys are down for some physical activity, I can destroy you in badminton,” Haknyeon suggested.

“Loser has to down a bottle of soju. Each,” Eric laughed evilly.

To make the teams fair, you were paired up with Haknyeon to play against the other three. He definitely proved his worth as the ace, easily winning 21-12. Sunwoo let out a scream, blaming Eric for his punishment suggestion. The latter tried to run away but was caught by Hyunjoon who handed him a bottle.

They all retreated to their rooms after fulfilling their penalty, leaving you and Haknyeon to clean up. The work was done relatively quickly and you made it back to your bed before midnight.

The next morning, you came out of your room clutching your Ryan doll that doubled as a pillow. You mumbled a “good morning” to Haknyeon who was preparing breakfast and chuckled at your appearance.

“Cute,” he commented on your tastes. You replied with a yawn, still not fully awake.

“The guys are probably gonna be hungover so I’m making some soup. I hope that’s okay with you,” he said.

He rolled up his sleeves before washing his hands. He then grabbed a knife and began cutting the vegetables. Your nose wrinkled at the sight of onions. You had forgotten to mention how picky you were. It was an embarrassing conversation to have as an adult. You had to explain how your childish tastebuds never matured while people let out an incredulous gasp. It was something you had to disclose every time you ate with someone new and it was honestly pretty tiring. People didn’t understand that you didn’t choose to be picky. Your tongue just refused the tastes of a lot of foods. It was more inconvenient for you than anyone else.

Nevertheless, you were excited to try the food made by the self proclaimed food connoisseur. You would just have to pick out the vegetables later.

The two of you decided to just eat together after the guys refused to wake up before noon. Haknyeon took a seat in front of you after he set the table and you thanked him.

To your relief, he didn’t seem so shocked by your childlike palate. He let the conversation end by saying something about respecting other people’s preferences.

Noticing your hair falling in front of your face, he got up to go look for something. He returned with a hair tie which he offered to you. It was just a courteous gesture but it still made you giddy regardless. The hair tie was probably just a spare left by previous guests but to you, it was a token. Something to remember him by.

“So, Y/n, what brings you to Jeju?” he questioned.

You’ve heard your name before many times in your life. Obviously. But hearing it from his voice felt different. The way your name rolled off his tongue made your heart skip a beat.

“Oh you know, just the typical “I wanted to get away from the city” trope,” you hummed.

“Classic,” he nodded.

After breakfast, Haknyeon volunteered to be your tour guide for the day. He showed you his favorite places in town and even drove further out to take you to the photo exhibition you wanted to see. You had a blast, taking a bunch of pictures to commemorate your trip.

When he asked why you used such a fancy camera and why you took photos of everything, you simply shrugged in response. Truthfully, you didn’t know why either.

For lunch, he brought you to a sashimi place where you bonded over a large platter of raw fish. Both the view and quality of the restaurant were amazing. And your company too, of course.

“Do your guests always get such personalized treatment?” you asked, raising a brow.

“Honestly? No,” he laughed. “I’m not that great of a host. Nor do I have the time and money to.”

“Then what’s all this? Today?”

“Hmm… I’m not quite sure.”

You left it at that and let him take you to an aquarium. Haknyeon had more fun watching you than looking at the animals. You were like a little kid in a candy store. Everything was fascinating to you.

The last time you visited an aquarium was for a field trip when you were in elementary school. It felt like you were going back to your childhood roots.

You made it back to the guesthouse in time for dinner. This time, you insisted on cooking. With the ingredients left in the fridge, you made kimchi fried rice. The smell lured the others down to join you two in the kitchen.

The rest of the night was rather uneventful, which you appreciated. You got to relish time just passing by. It was exactly what you came to Jeju for.

Back in your room, you connected your camera to your laptop to browse through the photos. Looking at them, you noticed that Haknyeon was in half of them.

“Maybe it was him I wanted to save in my memory,” you whispered under your breath.

Another week went by and you wished time would flow slower. Hyunjoon was the first to leave the guesthouse and it already felt a lot emptier without him. You hated goodbyes. You hated how all good things had to eventually come to an end.

The feeling made you cherish the remaining time you had left on the island. You spent your evenings with the guys and frequently chatted in the group chat with all five of you in it. You never expected to grow so fond of strangers you barely got to know. Haknyeon, in particular, had a special place in your heart.

He often took you out on what you liked to believe were dates. Under the guise of being your tour guide, he showed you the hidden parts of his hometown. Though he was slightly disappointed that your favorite thing from all the menus you’ve tried was the black sesame frappuccino from Starbucks.

“Really? Of all the things you’ve eaten and drank, you choose something from a chain store?” he had whined.

“Hey, they only have it here. I can’t get it anywhere else,” you defended.

He made it his mission to find you something local that would triumph over your love for the Starbucks drink. A close second was the makgeolli made and sold only in Jeju.

By the time Sunwoo and Eric left, you and Haknyeon had gotten extremely close. With him, it was so easy to open up and just be you. You practically lived in his room. You slept over after late night movies and cuddles.

Neither of you ever verbally defined your relationship. You were both somewhat afraid to ask what exactly you two were. Instead, you focused on each other.

“So you’re picking up photography again?” he asked with your head resting on his chest. The two of you were lazing around on the couch with a random show on for background noise.

“Possibly. It was always an interest of mine. I thought I’d get to have it as a side-job once I started working full time but I never got around to it. Trying to make a living was a lot harder than I thought it’d be,” you revealed.

“You definitely have the talent. I think you should take the opportunity and go for it,” he encouraged.

The idea lingered on your mind as the second week flew by. Your passion for photography had been pushed to the side as you struggled as a paycheck worker. You missed taking up odd gigs for extra cash in college.

On your last night at the guesthouse, you paused in the middle of dinner to stare at Haknyeon. The more time you spent with him, the more you didn’t want to leave. Changing your career path because of a guy was crazy. Moving to an island because of said guy that you only met two weeks ago was even crazier. But he inspired you to do what your heart desires. And that included being with him.

“What if I moved here to start freelancing? Publish that photography book I always dreamed of. Maybe set up my own studio one day,” you pondered aloud.

That proposition had many implications about the relationship between you two. He took a moment to carefully contemplate over it. Your heart pounded waiting for his response.

“If that’s what you truly want to do, I think that’d be nice,” he smiled, making your own face light up.

a/n: wow i was reminiscing my own time at jeju while writing this 🥺 and now, with this fic, i have officially written for all tbz members! :)

#the boyz #haknyeon #the boyz haknyeon #tbz #the boyz fluff #haknyeon fluff #the boyz haknyeon fluff #tbz haknyeon fluff #the boyz fic #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbz fic #tbz scenarios #tbz imagines #haknyeon fic #haknyeon scenarios #haknyeon imagines

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nevervalentines · 5 years ago

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(From the fluff/general list)

“Any RWBY ship! 12 or 13 :)”

#12 “how did you get in here?”

#13 “for starters, that’s impossible.”

hi!!! thank u!!! I wrote u a lil baby bumbleby high school au, I hope that’s ok!! they’re girlfriends and they are SO annoying

*******

Taiyang has never been very good at dolling out punishments, but when Yang comes home from school dragging her feet for the second week in a row, he really doesn’t have a choice.

She looks miserable, flannel tied loosely around her waist, ponytail messy, sporting a shiner that’s reddened the skin around her right eye, along her cheekbone. Already inflamed, it promises to bruise, and he thinks that should be punishment enough. But.

“They already called, huh?” Yang slumps up the front porch steps. “Would it help if I told you he started it?”

Taiyang rubs at the back of his neck. “Your principal said otherwise.” He cringes, trying to soften the delivery. “Apparently there were witnesses. Something like – your entire gym class?”

“Mercury had it coming.” Yang stops on the top step. Her backpack dangles from one arm, dragging the ground. “Can’t the fact that he clocked me back be enough?” She waves a hand. “I learned my lesson, and all that.”

“Afraid not, baby girl. This is the second time in as many weeks.” He corrals her gently into the house and roots through the freezer, tossing her an icepack while he deliberates. “A grounding is fair, right?” More to himself than anybody. “A week, maybe?”

“Can I still see –”

“No visitors. That means no Blake, too.”

“An entire week!” Yang slams the icepack onto the kitchen counter. The blue liquid sloshes, the plastic pouch threatening to pop. “That’s bullshit.”

“Okay,” he says, exasperated, now. “Room. Now. Don’t let Ruby hear you talking like that.”

The muscles in Yang’s jaw tick, heat rolling off her in waves, but she pinches her mouth tight. If her eyes flash, he doesn’t mention it, just watches her stomp toward the staircase. Hears fading footsteps, the slam of her bedroom door.

When music starts blaring, he allows it, riot grrrl punk pop spitting from around the door frame. He can picture her pouting, touting loud music and bruised knuckles like armor. Figures he’ll let it slide, just until after dinner. A week without Blake might be consequence enough.

Yang reclines on rumpled sheets, too pissed to change out of her day clothes, shoes kicked up on her bed, arms behind her head.

A five-day suspension, a week without seeing Blake. It’s a promise of purgatory and, worse, boredom. Her eye throbs, the skin around the socket already softening into a bone deep hum of pain.

Time passes in blurry pigments; she swims in and out of a doze while the day fades into a sticky-blue dusk. She ignores her dad’s calls for dinner, ignores Ruby’s hesitant knock on the door, lets the room darken around her – watches the sky outside ripen and split.

It’s almost summer now, and the box fan churns uselessly at her bedside, the skin of her back is sticky with sweat, the sheets below her cloying and damp. Outside, the streetlights wink on, one by one, and the blurry white noise of the fan is almost enough to mask the scrabbling outside her window. Almost.

When Blake’s head pops over the windowsill, Yang about pisses her pants. Blake grins, her teeth a flash of white in the darkness, ears on a swivel, pressing her face close to the wire mesh of the window screen.

Bleary and half-asleep, with Blake only a silhouette against a rapidly darkening sky, it’s like Yang has conjured her directly out of a dream.

Blake’s voice is strained, leveraging herself up on her forearms. “Why are you sitting in the dark?” Then. “Let me in, edgelord.”

Yang scrambles out of bed, heart in her throat, fumbles the screen’s latch open, helps Blake haul herself over the sill. Two hands under her arms, she pulls, Blake’s sneakers scraping against the paneled siding of the house.

Blake tumbles inside the bedroom, landing on top of Yang with an oof. She ushers in the sharp smell of fresh cut grass, cool nighttime air, summer-sweet.

“How did you get in here?” Yang sounds a little breathless, even to her own ears, and Blake settles more comfortably on top of her, so pleased with herself that Yang has to actively stop herself from kissing her smug smile away.

“Your window is right above the garage,” Blake says. She shifts her weight, forcing Yang to bow into the close weave of her room’s carpet. “I just had to get up there and,” a vertical shrug, a grin, “it was easy.”

“I’m grounded for a week,” Yang says, a little despairing, mouth tilting into a pout. “My dad says I can’t see you.”

“It’s dark, you can, like, hardly see me anyway,” Blake says. She wriggles on top of her, curls her fingers into the fabric of Yang’s tank top. “You’re kind of sweaty.”

“Did you climb up the side of my house just to insult me?” Yang asks. She feels a surge of affection so strong, she wonders if it might break something inside her, like there’s no more room left in her chest for anything but this: Blake smiling, nuzzling close. Blake’s slight frame settled in the sling of her hips, the too-warm press of the bare skin of her legs against Yang’s, one ankle hooked around her own.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Blake says. She ducks her head, rests her chin on Yang’s chest, looking up at her through her lashes. “And seeing as I found you crying in the dark, I made the right call.”

Yang struggles up onto her arms, dislodging Blake who sits back on her calves, amused.

“I wasn’t crying.” This, almost a yell, before she remembers herself and lowers her voice to a harsh whisper. “I was just upset.”

Sobering, Blake rocks to her feet, reaching down to tangle her hand with Yang’s and pull her to a stand. She pushes her onto the edge of her mattress, touches her cheek, gentle, careful to avoid the bruise.

Yang’s eyes are adjusting now, and she can just make out the soft-round of Blake’s face, the flat glint of her eyes in the dark.

“I know, baby.” Blake’s voice is throaty, a little sweet.

She kneels, unlacing Yang’s converse one by one, tugging them off before kissing her knees, her ankles. Yang says nothing, just watches Blake in a daze, breath hitched high in her throat, a rosy blush mottling the long line of her throat.

“I’m sorry you’re grounded,” Blake says. She pushes Yang to her back and follows, climbing back on top of her. This time, Yang has enough sense to wrap her arms around Blake’s back, tugging her securely against her until they press close, chest to chest.

“I don’t even get why,” Yang says. A pout. “He was talking shit about you, everybody heard it.”

She tilts her face up, hoping for a kiss. Blake retreats, just barely, nudging her nose with her own, instead. When she talks, Yang can feel her breath against her mouth.

“You did punch Mercury in the face, Yang.”

“It was gym class, it was an accident.”

“You guys were – you guys were playing badminton.”

“Mistakes happen.”

“You were opposite sides of the net.”

Yang looks at her sideways, sly. “Like I said.”

“For starters, that’s impossible.” Blake tucks her lips into her mouth, suddenly shy. “But also – thank you.” She leans in, brushes a kiss against Yang’s jaw. “You know I don’t need you to fight my battles –”

She quiets Yang’s immediate noise of agreement with another kiss, this time at the corner of her mouth.

“— but it was really sweet.”

“I missed you,” Yang says, a hint of a whine. She traces a hand down Blake’s back, slips it under the edge of her shirt, strokes a finger along her hip.

“It’s only been five hours, Yang.” Blake’s voice is soft with laughter, almost adoring, and she leans down, offers another kiss, this time to the apple of her cheek. “But maybe the week apart can start tomorrow.”

“Or maybe the day after that,” Yang says. She tilts her head up, splays the flat of her hand against Blake’s back, urging her closer. “He didn’t really specify when.”

“You’re so smart,” Blake whispers.

She eases against her, t-shirts rucking up, pressed breasts-to-belly-to-hip, the oscillation of the fan drowning Blake’s whimper as Yang slips a thigh between her legs and grins, all teeth and flush.

Blake kisses her, full, nudges carefully, lip to lip, until Yang opens her mouth, hands tightening at her back.

“Stay a while,” she says, rolls her tongue into Blake’s mouth, feels Blake’s hand come up to pet, soft, at the skin underneath her eye.

“Just for a minute,” Blake says, then presses back in, a breeze stirring warm air through the open window.

It’s mid-morning when Ruby shoves open the bedroom door, Yang and Blake curled close under the sheets, asleep. They jar awake at the noise, Yang’s arm tightening around Blake’s back.

Ruby sticks her face inside, hair tousled with sleep, rubbing her eyes with a fist. Her words crack with a yawn, and she blinks at them slowly.

“Hi, Blake. By the way, Yang, dad says you’re double grounded, but also to let you both know breakfast is ready.”

She closes the door behind her and Blake’s laugh follows her all the way down the stairs.

#my writing #rwby #bumbleby #i tried to speed write so i didnt overthink it!#blake WOULD and WILL terrorize all of her gf's parental figures thx 4 ur time #hearticho

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vventure · 5 years ago

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Played - Atsumu Miya Must Die, Ch. 3

Series Mini Mlist: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Atsumu Miya x fem!reader

Genre: Angst, Drama

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: cheating

Summary: Atsumu Miya is a player; dating three girls from three different friend groups so they don’t find out. What happens when they do, though? And how does [Y/N] play into their plan for ultimate revenge?

A/N: Alright, this chapter really finally gets into the drama. I know it’s longer than the other chapters but it had to be this length in order to fit everything I wanted into it! I hope you guys enjoy it, and I can’t wait to share all the scheming to come with you all. <3

Taglist: @for-ests @miyuswriting @babyboytsutomu @captain-shittykawa @writeiolite @lunarknox @heccingdead @yams046 @infamouswhitepawsies @hideewrites @lilolpotato @burnthoneymint @bb-noya - let me know if you’d like to be added (or taken off)!!

Last Time:

Chika laid down the facts: Atsumu was dating three different girls from three different friend groups. It was a secret to everyone but he and Chika, and now you, that he was doing this. Atsumu would only come to Onigiri Miya when Osamu wasn’t working. He was somewhat of an idiot in that respect, and Osamu had caught him with different girls at the establishment before, but the bleached twin had played it off as him seeing different girls every week; something that wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility for the player.

Chika went on to explain that while Atsumu used to work at the onigiri shop for his brother, he had taken time off in order to focus on university and his club volleyball team at the school. He was arrogant and self-centered, and often lied to his brother even about small things. The picture Chika painted was far from flattering.

You sat looking at her during her spiel, your jaw basically on the floor.

“So, yeah,” she finished. “He’s kind of a mess and a jackass.”

“Thanks for the warning, I’ll try to avoid him.”

“About that,” her smile strained as she spoke her next words: “He’s moving into the same dorm as you tomorrow.”

The day rose in a blaze of sun, the perfect weather for a barbecue on the quad at your new university. It was too hot for wearing anything other than a tank top and shorts since there was no way you were going to make it through the two-hour long event with no shade if you wore anything else.

A cacophony of laughter and raucous excitement reached your ears as you stepped onto the lush green of the expansive quad, taking in the plethora of grills and the several volleyball and badminton nets set-up to enjoy with fellow students. Clusters of students from every year were scattered about the lawn, drinking from plastic cups and munching on snacks while trying to find the courage to jump into an activity and break free of their timidity.

It should have come as no surprise, but Atsumu Miya had no issues with running head first into a new adventure. He was playing 2-on-2 volleyball at one of the nets, showing off just how high he could jump to slam the ball down on the grass on the opposite side of the net. His athleticism shined here, clearly leaps and bounds beyond the others he was volleying with who looked like they were about to pass-out from heat stroke while desperately trying to match his pace.

It would have been almost comical, the difference in skill between someone who was obviously well-versed in volleyball and someone who had never touched a ball in their life, except that Atsumu looked so smug every time he scored a point for his team. It was hardly a competition and even from this distance you could tell he was letting it get to his head.

Turning your attention away, you nearly collided with another person as you moved to grab a drink from one of the coolers. The person you were now face-to-face with wore a black t-shirt with “RA” in white lettering across the place a breast pocket would be.

“I’m so sorry!” You blurted out, backing up slightly and raising your hands. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Don’t worry about it!” They replied, a genial smile splitting their face in response to your sudden panic. “You look familiar. I think you moved onto my floor yesterday! Yeah, [Y/n], right?”

“Guilty,” you quipped, looking at them closely. It clicked into place once you noticed their black bangs pinned back with their high pigtails. “You’re the resident assistant on my floor...Nanami, right?”

“Yep,” she replied, giving you a thumbs up. Her cheerfulness seemed a bit forced, but you smiled back at her regardless. “It’s actually good ya bumped into me ‘cause I was looking to round up the girls to play some volleyball. You in?”

“Um, sure, I don’t really have anything else to do.”

That’s how you found yourself entangled in a lot more than you’d bargained for: an icebreaker activity with Atsumu’s three girlfriends.

“Let’s say our names and then a fun fact about us,” Nanami said once the small group of girls she could find was rounded into a seated circle. “I’ll go first. My name’s Nanami and I love going to concerts!”

Dead silence befell the group as they all looked at her, expressionless. It was hot and she was making you all sit in the sun and tell a fun fact about yourselves? Weren’t you supposed to be playing volleyball?

“Cool,” said the girl clad in sports attire, repping the school’s colors. “I’m Sara, I play for the soccer team here and love kick-boxing.”

Sara used her thumb to point to the girl on her right, taking charge of the situation so they could all get it over with.

“I’m Izumi,” came the soft voice of a girl with her eyes turned shyly downward. “I work in the library in my spare time.”

Could this be any more dull? So much for a fun barbecue.

The next girl down the line stated her name and a fact about herself that slipped through your mind like water until it was Atsumu’s final girlfriend’s turn.

“My name’s Aiko, and I play the violin,” she said, flicking her long hair over her shoulder and fiddling with the hem of her pure white blouse.

Once again, this elicited no response and all eyes now rested on you as they waited for your name and riveting factoid.

“I’m [Y/n] and I work at an onigiri shop off-campus and just moved here from Miyagi.”

A pregnant pause followed your statement as the small group merely blinked in acknowledgement of each other’s existence before Nanami’s voice cut through the heavy air: “Let’s play volleyball!”

The group stood, returning shredded grass particles to the ground and moved like cattle to the volleyball nets.

“I’m gonna ditch, my boyfriend wants to get boba,” the girl whose name you couldn’t remember whispered into your ear before skipping away from the group now composed of only you, Sara, Aiko, Izumi, and Nanami.

Just perfect, you were going to be playing volleyball with three girls dating the same guy and the person who would be watching every move you made in the dorms for the year, what could be more ideal? You almost wished Osamu had put you on the schedule today, but he’d given you the first week of classes off to acclimate to the new university.

It was done now, so you’d make the most of the situation and maybe get a new friend out of it. Izumi seemed really sweet and down-to-earth, so you’d give chatting with her a shot. Walking up beside her, you opened your mouth to say something before the realization that you knew a dirty secret she didn’t about the guy she was seeing hit you. You snapped your mouth closed and walked the remainder of the expanse of green to the free volleyball net.

A collective gasp sounded from the group as you approached the net, causing you to look up from the ground you’d been examining in order to avoid tripping. When you saw where their heads were turned, you sighed internally.

Of course, every single one of them had their eyes locked on Atsumu finishing up his game on the make-shift volleyball court next to the one you’d soon be playing on. He had sweat pouring down his face from what you could imagine was the heat and exertion, and you couldn’t tear your eyes away as he lifted his shirt to wipe at his face exposing the glistening muscles of his abdomen.

What was this, a teen movie? No one looked that hot after playing a taxing sport and it was highly unfair that someone so vile could look so good.

“Okay, girls,” Nanami said, clapping her hands together yet again. “I’m gonna ref, so choose your teams.”

Aiko immediately flocked to Sara, likely taking in the fact that the latter was a college athlete and would be better poised to win the game. Izumi didn’t look particularly thrilled to be stuck with you as her teammate, but she’d have to deal for the short amount of time you’d be playing.

Sara served first, landing a solid ace across the net that punted against the grass that neither you nor Izumi received, giving your opponents the first point. Aiko and Izumi looked at each other through the net, their eyes suddenly serious. You furrowed your brow, watching how Sara was now in a fighting stance, until the sound of Atsumu’s voice reached your ears.

“So, yer the RA for the boys’ and girls’ floor, eh?” He said, leaning toward Nanami who looked less than pleased to be conversing with him at the current moment.

“That I am,” she replied stiffly, trying to keep her eye on the ball. “I’m kind of busy right now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“I’m sure ya don’t mind if I stay and watch a little bit?”

Nanami shrugged, turning her attention completely away from him. He didn’t appear to care, and didn’t press her any further.

Atsumu was watching the game, that’s why these three were acting like their lives depended on winning a casual volleyball game on the quad. This asshole knew exactly what his presence would do to these girls and was eating it up like a Korean drama.

Whatever, he wasn’t your focus and would never be your focus, so you returned your attention to the game. Your heart clenched in your chest as you watched Aiko look over at Atsumu, sending him a salacious wink just to receive a smirk in return. In the time that your eyes left Sara’s serving form, hoping that no one had noticed the exchange, the volleyball was colliding with your head and sending you reeling.

“[Y/n]!” You could hear Nanami call before her knees were thudding onto the earth next to you, her black pigtails dangling over your face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you responded, sitting up to notice that Atsumu had departed with his hand on the upper back of another tall male walking away. A feeling of impending doom flowed over you as you looked at the girls standing near the net, their faces directed at each other expressing confusion and mounting anger. “What’s going on?”

“We’re at the quad for the barbecue, do you have a concussion? What year is it?” The RA asked, clearly not anticipating this at the event.

“I’m fine! What about them?”

“Why were you winking at my boyfriend?” Izumi seethed, her kind and calm demeanor slipping away easily to reveal a nasty underside.

“I was winking at my boyfriend,” Aiko replied, stepping closer to Izumi but remaining on her side of the net. “Atsumu Miya.”

“What the hell did you just say?” Sara bellowed while stomping towards the two already in the throws of their disagreement. “Who’d you say your boyfriend was?”

Izumi and Aiko replied in unison: “Atsumu Miya.”

The trio of Atsumu’s lovers sat a safe 6-feet from each other in the grass, ice packs pressed against the bruises they’d given each other during the scuffle that eventually had to be broken up by the University Police. You’d also tried to pry them apart, which only earned you a split lip and a disciplinary mark on your record for the trouble.

“So, I get the pleasure of explaining what your punishment is,” Nanami said, sitting down on the grass with exaggerated annoyance, producing a map and setting it in the space between everyone. “The resident director thinks it would be a good idea for you guys to clean up around town. So you’ll be tackling the areas I’ve marked every other day and clearing them of all the litter you can see.”

“How long?” You asked, pressing the ice pack to your lip in an attempt to get it to stop stinging so horribly.

“Ten hours, which is pretty lenient,” she explained. “Since you guys don’t have any other infractions she didn’t think it was worth more than that. And she wants you to do it together to learn some cooperation and teamwork.”

The tension in the air was suffocating at this news and not a single girl could look the other in the eye, opting to stare at their feet while nursing their wounds.

“This is all your fault, Aiko,” Sara spat.

“How is it--” Aiko began before you cut her off.

“I don’t know,” you spoke up, raising your hand in defense as Aiko shot you a glare, her white blouse sullied with dirt. “Seems like you all got played, right? He told you all that he had to keep his relationship with you secret, right?”

A grumble rose around the small area between the 5 of you.

“Okay, so he was lying to you so he could mess around with other people, so who’s fault is it really?”

You had no idea the trouble your logical mind had gotten you into.

#Atsumu Miya #Miya Atsumu #Atsumu Miya x reader #Miya Atsumu x reader #haikyuuwritersnet #tw: cheating #tw cheating #Haikyuu!!#Haikyu!!#hq!!#Haikyuu!! angst #Haikyu!! angst

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aprils-arcadia · 4 years ago

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By the River

Member: Shownu Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1,9k Summary: You watch the sunrise from your favorite place in your hometown, when you are suddenly interrupted by a handsome stranger.

She was sitting on the little concrete slope near the river. Once it was probably used to let boats into the water, but that had stopped even before she was born. Now it was just one of the nicest places to sit and think. With the river to her right and the embankment to her left she was surrounded by trees in this little nook.

She used to come here quite often when she still lived nearby with her parents but by now she had moved into the city and the visits to her parents were less frequent than she was comfortable with. Work had taken up way too much of her life and driving home with public transport had always been a hassle. So over time the visits got rarer and rarer, making her miss this place and her parents even more. No matter where she went she always treasured this little fleck of earth in the town she grew up in and spent so many happy years of her childhood. Whenever she came back a smile always adorned her face no matter if it was snowing, bright sunshine, or raining like it just had a second ago.

It had been a nice summer shower, washing away the dust and the dry heat. Unfortunately it was over before it even really began. Her clothes had already dried within the last few minutes but the remaining raindrops on the embankment still glistened in the now returned sun.

This wasn’t a famous tourist spot or a hotspot of the local youth, no this was her secret spot. The spot she spent so many hours as a kid, talking to her friends or just being alone with her thoughts. In this little niche beside the river she had her privacy. If she wanted to cry nobody would notice and if she laughed nobody would care.

It had been the right choice to take the week off, to get away from work and to spend her little vacation here, right where she would always belong. The week housesitting for her parents brought back so many memories, memories that were still ever present in the house itself, be it the old photobooks in her dad’s office or the big framed picture depicting all her family members, her uncles, her cousins and she herself: A young girl forced to wear a dress to look pretty but her hair the usual unkempt mess. She was sitting next to her mom and desperately tried to hide a patched-up finger behind her back but the white bandages still shone brightly next to her dark blue dress.

She stretched her arms into the air and a yawn escaped her mouth. It had been worth getting up at 5 a.m., seeing the sun rise over the horizon, colouring the sky in a bright orange was a sight that was worth every minute of lost sleep. She probably should go back to get ready for the day but not yet, instead she rolled her jacket into a little pillow and layed down on the hard concrete, the tiny stones hurting her back a little but not enough to make her want to leave. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. The earthy smell of petrichor and the fresh scent of the river filled her lungs and she smiled to herself.

She truly loved this place.

The sound of the steady waves lapping on to the shore whenever a boat went past, the screeching of the lone seagull that had made its way down south and the rustling of the wind in the leaves around her lulled her into a comfortable nothingness.

Her reverie was interrupted by an unfamiliar smell and the sound of the dry grass being crunched under someone’s feet. Lazily she opened her eyes only to look up at a young man around her age.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you.” He took a step back. “I'd better leave".

"No worries." She sat up and turned around to look at him properly. He was wearing a pair of black running shorts and a black sleeveless top. His hair was disheveled and still wet either from the rain or from the sweat that was also running down his arms making them shimmer in the morning sun. “I wasn't really sleeping and I should probably leave soon anyway."

"I didn't mean to drive you away. It's not like I own the place." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled shyly.

"True" she giggled. He looked kind and trusting. His eyes radiated a calm and warm aura that made her feel instantly comfortable around him. "Do you wanna sit down?"

"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind." He ran his fingers through his dark brown hair, so that it no longer stuck to his forehead but now lay in strands.

She scooted over and gestured at him to sit down. "Not at all. There’s plenty of room for the both of us."

He sat down next to her, adjusting a bit so that their shoulders would be far enough apart.

"I'm sorry that this is gonna sound like one of those cheesy pick up lines but do you come here often?" A sweet laugh left her mouth, as warm as the summer sun. "Cheesy doesn't necessarily mean bad, I mean that one's a classic.”

"No,” He corrected quickly “I just meant that I've never seen you around here."

"I used to live here when I was younger,” She brushed off the sand from her calves and unfolded her little jacket pillow. “Now I'm just housesitting. What about you?" She looked into his eyes as if it was the most natural thing, somehow awkwardness never crossed her mind.

"I've discovered this place on one of my morning runs.” He leaned forward to tighten the knot on his bright blue sneakers. "And now I always stop by here each morning when I'm done."

"Commendable"

"If you say so.” He smiled at her, his face losing all its rough features instantly. “I just really like this place.” His gaze wandered over to the water that was slowly receding only to be pushed back onto the shore. "It's nice to just sit, watch the waves and just be for a second."

"I agree.” she said. “Nobody really bothers you, well normally at least." She scrunched up her nose and they both laughed.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” he apologized, still smiling brightly.

“Soo…” she leaned back examining his broad back and shoulders trying to read the letters that were printed on his shirt. “Sho-”

“-Shownu.” he finished.

“So, what brings you to this neck of the woods, Shownu? I mean there isn't really anything here.” Her hometown had always been a place for old people, sure they had an elementary school but that was about it. The local businesses were slowly moving to the city and apart from one big company, a few bakers and supermarkets it was pretty much just a residential area. No nightlife, on the contrary even, this neck of the woods still clung to their night and sunday rest rules so tightly that loud music after 10 p.m. could easily be answered by the old lady two houses over calling the police on you. The cinema in the nearest town had gone bankrupt and you had to drive half an hour by bus to even get to a decent clothing store. It was no wonder that everyone moved to the city when they finally got the chance.

"Well, I got seconded here a few months back. I work over there.” He pointed to the big building visible on the horizon on the other side of the river. “I found a nice flat on this side so I just took it. The ferry isn’t that bad of a commute”

“I loved to ride the ferry as a kid.” She said enthusiastically, remembering all the times she went over to the other side to go to the beach or to walk around with her friends and their dogs.

“Well it gets old rather quickly I can tell you. But the water and the fresh air is a nice wake up on an early morning.” He leaned back steading himself on his hands.

“And how do you like it here so far?” she asked, playing around with the little blade of grass she had plucked to her right.

“To be honest, in the beginning it was quite the change. I grew up in a big city and was always so used to the bustle on the streets and the huge amount of people. This is the complete opposite. I mean I once went a day without seeing another human soul on the streets. It had quite the apocalyptic vibe.” He laughed.

“It probably just meant that the local football team was playing.” She shrugged. Those had been the best days, when almost everyone was out and no one roamed the streets anymore. As a child she used those days to play badminton in the streets with her brother or go for a walk without ever meeting anyone. It was a nice change of pace each time.

“That makes sense. Anyway it’s actually really nice to live here.”

“Why is that? I mean I know my reason but I’d like to hear yours.” The blade of grass in her hand was now a tiny ball of knots. She put it down beside her and gave it a little flick, watching it roll down the concrete and into the water.

“I think it’s quite idyllic. When I lived in the city everything seemed so cold, distant and impersonal. In comparison this place feels unbelievably warm. This is probably gonna sound stupid but it feels loved”

She didn’t answer. Instead she just looked at his profile, at the kindness in his eyes and let his words slowly sink in. This place feels loved. To hear someone else say this made her incredibly happy.

“Sorry that was a bit weird.” he said sitting back up, looking at her.

“No, not at all.” She let her head sink between her knees looking out onto the shoreline and the line of grasses which gently swayed in the wind.

“I’m really telling you everything here, huh” he chuckled a little shyly and rubbed the back of his head.

“Sure seemed that way.” she smiled.

“Must be this place, makes it way too easy to open up to a complete stranger. Well now you owe me one. What brought you back here?”

“Since we are already on the sappy side of things I can just hop onto the train.” She took a deep breath and sighed “I miss this place. It makes life seem so simple and easy. I can forget about work and the stress of the city when I come here.” She smiled, more to herself that to anybody and her eyes were clouded with nostalgia. “In the end it’s home, simple as that.”

Without warning a loud ringing tone interrupted their conversation. “Oh sh*t.” Shownu got up, quickly turning off the alarm on his phone. “I’m sorry to just leave like this.”

“Nah it’s fine. Wouldn’t want you to be late for work. I better get going as well.” She got up and wrapped her jacket around her hips.

“Hope to see you again soon” he said and sprinted off.

Me too, she thought. Maybe just now she found another reason to come back here more often.

#mx #monstax #fanfiction #monstax fanfiction #shownu #son hyun-woo #shownu fluff #shownu x reader #aprils fanfiction #aprils arcadia

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petegoestotown · 4 years ago

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i was tagged by the little ray of sunshine, love and rock’n roll @sastrugie! rules: answer 10 questions, tag 10 people and make another 10 questions.

⭐️My Questions⭐️

1. Favourite album? I really don’t know, this is so difficult, i’ll go with sentimental value and that’s Gorillaz - Humanz

2. Who were you in a past life? i’ll let you know once i found out!

3. Airdrumming or airguitar? despite playing guitar i always find myself airdrumming!!

4. Where would you travel in time if you could? back to 2003 and to meet my dog again. also America in the 1940′s, i’d pretend to be a european heiress and try to mingle with the Hollywood stars and run after Gregory Peck. My wishes are quite egoistic tho so i probably should throw “assassinate Hitler” in with everything else.

5. Do you play a sport? Which? i still want to take up archery but i’m too skint and lazy. and badminton.

6. What weird food combinations do you enjoy? I generally like the mix of sweet and savoury but i don’t think i enjoy any really weird combos... sorry i’m boring xD i like (orange) marmalade tho and get lots of stick for that.

7. Do you think aliens exist? probably, maybe not currently..maybe before our time..or...

8. Who’s your favourite stand up comedian? it’s been a while but i liked James Acaster

9. What movie or book do you know the most quotes from? my memory is so bad and it’s getting worse since i take migraine medication but let’s see movie: Tank Girl and Before Sunrise book - definitely The Picture of Dorian Gray for me as well!

10. How old were you when you had your first celebrity crush and who was it? I really liked McGyver, isn’t that embarrassing, but i just thought he was cool and i was really young like 7ish. I think the first real crush was Jake Gyllenhall when i was around 20. aaaw, Jake........*le sigh*

my questions ~

1. what would you put into your own created salad? ooh i love that question soo much! okay i came up with a salad i love but people will probably not be fond of: field salad, peanuts, chickpeas, avocado, cocktail tomatoes, hot salsa sauce and feta (optional). it’s good, trust me!

2. what would your call your garage band? The Bat Decisions

3. which planet has the prettiest name in your opinion (in our solar system)? Earth. Neptune second. edit: now i am saying näääptuuune for the past half hour, thanks. xD

4. night mode or day mode on your phone? night mode!! I am so prone to headaches the orange light it soothing

5. what was your fav childhood series? it was called “als die tiere den wald verließen” in german. looking back, i blame it for my depression... it’s such a sad and depressing story! i think it’s similar to watership down but dont quote me on it....!! 6. what was the worst book you ever read voluntary? Irvine Welsh’s Glue. I like the movies but as a book his material really isnt working for me. i felt uncomfortable and returned it to the store.... bought an NME magazine and ice cream instead.

7. if you could only ever eat fish or meat, what would you choose? (if youre a vegetarian:high five) i’m a vegetarian who is vegan most of the days

8. if someone gave you a DVD with all the times people talked about you behind your back, would you watch it? of course! i’d love to hear that.

9. pen or pencil? pen

10. whos your fav tumblr blogs? send them a nice message! @sastrugie @rememberedkisses @flasknarsfostervatten @ars-historia-est @calebwidogastcore @mermaidenmystic @crimsonkismet @thecostumevaultblog my world would have less colour without all of you! love your blogs! <3 my questions: 1. did a book or movie change your life or majorly shifted your views on a topic? 2. you’re allowed to dress in the style of one youth culture only for the rest of your life, which one do you choose? 3. what type of gifts do you love to receive? 4. do you know your MBTI type? 5. would you like to have dinner with a time Traveller from the future or with your favourite author? 6. would you run your country for a year? 7. which piece of art would you like to own? 8. do you have pet peeves? 9. which fictional character is a lot like you? 10. a quote you’d like to share: @sastrugie sorry i took me so long to do this, i enjoyed it a lot - finally had enough caffeine and free time! you’re the best don’t stop tagging me! i tag the usual people @rememberedkisses @flasknarsfostervatten @ars-historia-est @calebwidogastcore aaaaaaaaaand everyone else who wants to participate! GO!

#tag games

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limitless-rose · 5 years ago

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The Signs as things I wanted to be when I grow up

[This has literally been in my drafts since December because I wasn't sure if each option matched with the sign I chose but whatever (it's also a long post again, oof)

Also I didn't really post anything related to 2020 so... Happy New Year, let's hope something good will happen this decade!! 💖]

♈ Aries: Be part of the army. I was quite fascinated by the idea of guns and protecting the nation and actually getting my life together. I was actually thinking about it for quite a while until I realized that in order to get accepted (at least according to the Greek system) you need to have excellent grades (especially maths/physics), to be taller that 165cm and to be excellent in sports. Guess what, I don't understand physics/science/chemistry, I've been about 158cm for the past 3 years and the only two sports I'm good at are badminton and tennis (while you need to be good at running, swimming and things like that I guess 😕)

✧

♉ Taurus: A chef/baker. Cooking and baking always seemed pretty fun. I would always sit by my grandma whenever she cooked/baked goodies and observe the whole process. I also got inspired by the movies "The Princess and the Frog" and "Ratatouille" and thought that one day I could possibly come up with my own recipes and open my own restaurant. But while growing up I realized that I can't cook properly when I'm stressed/multi-tasking (I'm capable of burning the food AND the kitchen if I get slightly distracted, ooof)

✧

♊ Gemini: A TV presenter or a weather woman. My mom told me that from the age of three I would always pretend to talk to an audience and answer questions from the callers or announce news/talk about the weather. Maybe that explains why I talk to thin air (as if I was a YouTuber) about anything and everything when I'm alone. Though it sounds cool, I don't really think I could do it now because I have social anxiety.

✧

♋ Cancer: A writer. I really like writing, I don't know why. Authors have been inspiring me since my childhood, I remember I used to read so many books and try to write something of my own based on it. 😅 I like taking notes and then re-writing them more neatly. I like re-doing old homework in a different style and see if I have improved. I really like writing in a diary/a bullet journal too, I feel like it's much better than bothering others with my problems anyway. I also love coming up with random scenarios/stories/characters and writing about it but I don't know if I should share it. Idk, sometimes I feel like my writing is a bit boring or that it's nothing that impressive. So, honestly, if more people took writers seriously instead of thinking it's a hobby as it doesn't always pay well (when did the world even start revolving around money that much, oml) and if I was more confident about my work I'd definitely chose to become a writer/author (I'm still keeping it as a hobby no matter what I end up doing, lol).

✧

♌ Leo: A model. Omg, I honestly don't know why I even thought of it. Probably because I really liked watching ANTM when I was younger (and I specifically chose the American version because the one we have in my country makes me cringe a lot, just hearing girls from my school talking about it is painful). My friends also liked the outfits that I put together or how I would always pose for pictures (a few years ago, I'm too awkward now asdfghjkl). Looking at it now it's just so funny. There's literally so much competition in the name of beauty, the community can get kinda toxic sometimes and the standards are pretty high. Also I'm way too short and I still can't walk like a normal person when wearing high heels lol.

✧

♍ Virgo: A teacher. Specifically, a teacher for elementary or even kindergarten. Back then, the concept of teaching seemed pretty fun to me and I had lots of ideas about how to make class more interesting. The thing is that I have good chemistry with most kids and I actually kinda dislike teenagers because of how rebellious we can get when it comes to school (idk but like teens in my country are like pretty rude to everyone 😐). I'm not so sure about it now, though it's still an option.

✧

♎ Libra: A psychologist. I always liked helping others out and offering advice when they're having a tough time and I was also curious to see what makes each person feel angry, sad or stressed and the way they respond. It's also interesting because you can learn a lot about someone's personality, preferences and way of thinking or understand what caused someone to commit a crime. I still really like psychology and it's one of my main options for uni. The only problem is that psychology is pretty much overrated in my country so people say it's best to choose something else. 😒

✧

♏ Scorpio: A criminologist. And, surprisingly, I still want it. I was always intrigued by things that required research, was interesting in learning what caused a murder/crime to be committed and I would always watch crime thrillers with my dad. I also like it because it's a field of Sociology which is one of my favorite subjects. I'm just hoping finals aren't super difficult so I can get accepted in the college that I want on the first try lol.

✧

♐ Sagittarius: A flight attendant. Back then I found it kinda fun, as I was always curious about what going on a plane is like. It could also be because of their outfits (like the ones you see in movies or in Britney's MV for Toxic, idk why 😅). Plus I would get to travel around the world without paying as much as the passengers. But then, at the age of 14-15 I got on an airplane 4 times and I saw that it wasn't really like the movies and that literally everyone ignored the flight attendant so yeah, it's not an option anymore. ✈️

✧

♑ Capricorn: A fashion designer. So because I would always draw and constantly ask for new crayons/markers and other art supplies, my mom bought me a few coloring books that focused on fashion. It came along with stickers, stencils, ideas for Victorian dressses, advice for how to design lace or mermaid tail dresses and I was so impressed. A few years later, my grandma showed me a few dresses that she had made for my mom when she was younger (which were so gorgeous like I'm definitely going to wear one of them on my graduation day) and taught me sewing. I also got to see these small floral designs that you usually see on lingerie and it was so pretty, I wish I could do it as perfectly as her. I decided to follow my grandma's advice and keep it as a hobby instead (because she ended up doing nothing but designing clothes and repairing them which she regrets 🧵🧶).

✧

♒ Aquarius: An astronaut. This was pretty random, I have to admit. I guess I really liked space and looking at at the stars in the night sky. I read a few books about space and learned a few things about NASA back in elementary too, though I realized that it's something I could never really do, as you have to sacrifice a lot. I'm still fascinated by this profession but there's no way I could ever do it, since I can't even understand basic physics or mathematics. 🤷‍♀️

✧

♓ Pisces: An artist. Honestly I didn't really care if most artists didn't get recognition/fame or if they didn't earn enough money, I just wanted to make art because I liked it. It's also fun because while you are expressing your thoughts through an art piece, another person might interpret it differently, based on their likings and thoughts. Art also plays an active role in my life: I've been drawing and painting since I was 5 and I would always watch the show with Bob Ross on TV with my grandma. Instead of completely giving up on this idea, I thought that I could choose another profession (also my family didn't really like the thought of me doing art for a living 😐) and keep art as a hobby.

#astrology #zodiac #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #me and my thoughts #yeah idk #for fun ig #at least for me #random

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missmyloko · 5 years ago

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What’s In a Pocchiri? Part 10

Double digits for another feature! I’ve really enjoyed looking into the materials and motifs that make up the karyukai’s most expensive accessories, and I hope you have too! With that said, let’s look into another piece!

Image courtesy of Exclusive Kyoto. Materials: Gold, Silver, Jade, and Ceramic Motifs: Battledore, Rocking Horse, Sea Bream, Pinwheel, and Soul Stone (Children’s Toys) Owned By: Tama (多麻) in Gion Kobu I chose this one for the sheer amount of symbolism as it’s so incredibly complex and full of wonderful items that it would be a shame to put it off any longer. Just by looking at it you may notice this giant jumble of odd motifs, but in actually they’ve all got one thing in common: they’re children’s toys! Most of these motifs can even be found on junior maiko kanzashi in December as lucky charms too! Looking at this layer by layer, we can see the following: Hagoita (羽子板)/Battledore: A popular game played during New Year’s celebrations. It’s very closely related to badminton as the purpose is to hit a shuttlecock into the air, bounce it back and forth, and whoever misses it and lets it touch the ground loses. It’s quite common to buy luxurious battledore to hang in one’s house during New Year’s as well, often times depicting anything from kabuki to Disney characters! Mokuba (木馬)/Rocking Horse: A staple around the world, this wooden rocking horse is a popular toy that allows children to experience the thrill of riding a pretend horse. It is often times linked with masculinity. Tai (鯛)/Sea Bream: Another masculine symbol, they are often eaten during momentous occasions for good luck. It’s a very popular dish for misedashi and erikae too! This one appears to be on a small platform with wheels, making it a pull toy known as Taiguruma (sea bream car). Kazeguruma (風車)/Pinwheel: Another popular toy found around the world, pinwheels can often be found planted in gardens where children watch them spin in the wind. Mitsu Tomoe (三つ巴)/Three Souls: Often used as a symbol of protection, these three commas in a circle are believed to ward off bad luck and help with growth. As for the materials, they’re a bit easier to identify due to its simplicity. The entire piece is done in silver with gold plating covering most parts. Around the mitsu tomoe rests a jade circle and the sea bream is made from porcelain. In the past the sea bream was likely made from coral as older pictures have shown that it’s definitely been replaced over the years and the previous decoration looked like a coral carving. I admit that I like the new ceramic look as it makes it feel more like a real toy! Other parts were also silver colored in the past, hence why I can conclude that it’s gold plate that was reapplied and not solid gold. Here we can see it being worn by the lovely Mameryū (まめ柳):

Image courtesy of Exclusive Kyoto.

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szopenhauer · 4 years ago

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People do you live with - are they related to you? they are indeed

Have you ever had to have surgery before? What was this for? not yet

Are you listening to any music right now? What song is it? just finished, got tired/bored of it

Who did you last hug? When did this hug take place? Where? my mom, today, home

Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? my gf, yes

Do you enjoy shopping? Who do you usually go shopping with anyways? yes, mostly looking at stuff, dad

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? What exactly makes you afraid of them? nah

What color are the shutters on your house by the windows, if there are any? we don’t have shutters

Do you enjoy talking smack to those annoying telemarketers? Is it funny? I disconnect immediately

Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? usually not Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? yeah but it’s smth that keeps my mind occupied in those stressful times and I enjoy it for fun - you don’t have to read them if you don’t want to, let me do what I want to survive, I don’t need to explain myself actually as it’s my life Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? I regret that Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I gave up on almost everyone including myself Is there ink in your printer? not black, only color Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? taking care of trash and dog What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? many

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? with my sister, it disappeared Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? never happened Where did you get your favorite hoodie? it’s my sister’s old hoodie Are shoes under your bed? I don’t keep anything under my bed Have you ever been in handcuffs? *wink* not yet :P Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? I might for my gastroscopy someday because I have a strong gag reflex and there’s no other way :( When are you planning on moving out of your parents’ house? plan pfft... Are you a fan of dogs? small dogs Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? immediate family? it was me

What genre was the last song you listened to? dance/electronic I see… Did it have a male or female vocalist? female Have you watched any of your favourite TV shows today? Which? I haven’t watched any TV show today What colour is your make-up bag? I don’t use one Have you ever dyed your hair green? yep

What color was the first pet you had? green

Have you ever had fake nails? nope

What was your favorite year of high school? definitely not the last, probably first

Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? both include choking but drowning gives you a bigger chance of survival

Does your family own more than two houses? we’re too poor for that and owning more than one house is unfair in my opinion

Would you marry someone who could never have sex for medical reasons? I’m asexual, I don’t like/want/need sex so that’s cool

What about someone who was guaranteed to die in five years? anyone can die any moment so yes

Do you have any step parents? no

Do you know what year your mother was born in? I always forget

The person you would never want to meet? someone dangerous If you were a type of tree, what would you be? weeping willow or hollow/dead tree of some sort

Favorite age you’ve been so far? childhood in general I think You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? maybe even myself?... If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? I don’t want a slave wtf You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? save it Are you a good kisser? am not Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?  several times Have you ever built a snowman? of course Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunrises, even tho I’m not a morning person If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? dog + elephant Can you do any accents other than your own? not well What is the last thing you drew a picture of? not sure what was last

If the opportunity arose, would you ever go to a nude beach? Do you think you’d be comfortable enough, being naked among others like that? hell no, I wouldn’t be comfy enough to look at penises, gross! Have you ever considered keeping a dream journal? If you have one, have you ever looked back on it at all of the odd/interesting dreams you used to have? gonna burn it soon Do you think regifting is cheap, or is it okay? Have you ever regifted before? it’s ok, yeah

Do you like tablets or laptops more? laptops Have you ever had to “come out” to your parents about anything (sexual orientation, change in religion, etc.)? How did it go? yep, it didn’t went well but it could be way worse What’s the most unusual kind of pizza you’ve ever tried? nothing unusual Has there ever been a time where you thought you were going to be great friends with someone, but it just never happened? yep :( What’s one of your favorite things to touch/feel? hmm... How often do you wear tights? very rarely Why is your favorite TV show your favorite? I like many but my favs I chose basing on the impact on my life Describe your favorite picture of yourself, or post it. those funniest and with my dad too I guess Assuming you have a Facebook, if one of your friends posted things that annoyed you, would you be more likely to delete them as a friend, hide their statuses, or just put up with it? hide statuses but if they’re not close to me I might even kick them out of my friends list forever, definitely won’t just put up with it When was the last time you wore a sports bra? yesterday On a scale of 1-10, how anxious are you currently? 11 How is the weather? windy

If you were a pirate, what would your name be? Sam Bell or Robin Hood unless you ask me for a nickname then I’d have to think about it more

Would you rather go the short way slow, or take the long way fast if you got there in the same amount of time? doesn’t matter

Would you rather always be in a crowd, or be the only person on earth? only person

Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom? middle?

If you had to move out of this country, what country would you move to? Why? England or some scandinavian ones I believe

How many children do you want? Girls or boys? 0 but if any then 1 girl

If you had to lose one of your five senses, which one of them would you prefer to lose and why? smell because it’s hyper and I hate that

If you could live anywhere for one year, all expenses paid, where would you live? just my own apartment

What’s your favorite song to karaoke to? *shrug*

What takes you out of your comfort zone? life

If you were on the cover of a magazine, which one would it be and why? I want my apartment to be on a cover of an interior design magazine

If you could be laid to rest anywhere, where would it be? Why? next to my brother and/or my dad after his death

Pool side or beach? beach

What is your favorite primary color? yellow

What is your favorite brand of bottled water? I don’t care anymore If you were to write a story, what would it be about? already written some When was the last time you got out of your home? not counting going to my garden/yard - yesterday Do you like color pencils or crayons better? colored pencils Have you ever played Badminton? I liked to Would you ever consider running for president? nah What color is the sky right now? light blue Is March one of your favorite seasons? why not Do you write little reminders to yourself? shitload Would you want a pet iguana? I heard they commit suicide :x Exactly how many days have you been alive? 10,399 Do you know how to knit/crochet? a bit Do you enjoy windy days? I like the sound of wind and zephyr during the hottest days but that’s all

Do you believe that big goals are just as attainable as small ones? some to some

Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? deleted and made new account

How many times a day do you change your clothes? depends

When was the last time you used spray paint? long time ago

What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? white

Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? harder to me

Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? noooo

Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? on top of one another

If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? not applicable

do you sing to songs in the car when you are alone? I don’t drive so I’m never alone in the car

do you laugh at other people when they are alone in their car singing? it’s cute

the world will end in an hour. what do you do? send a cab for my dad if possible to bring him home

does the weirdest dream you have ever had involve your history teacher? that’s weirdly specific - no

how many christmas trees are in your home during the season? depends

ever told your date you were going to the bathroom and actually left? nope but if I was scared of them I could do that :o

what never fails to put you in a bad mood? ugh...

what is the first thing that comes to mind when i say green? plants

did you know that you hear/see something that relates to a monkey everyday? really? I don’t believe you

do you share a bed with anyone, or is it allll yours? it’s allll mine

are you from the north/south/west/east? personal

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quagmireisadora · 6 years ago

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[Jinki / Jonghyun] The Writing on His Face

Rating: R Warning: none Genre: face blindness au Length: ~9300 A/N: this is for @jjongyyu who was looking for an old and popular fic that disappeared. While I never read the story myself, I got a rough summary and have tried to recreate it to the best of my abilities. I don’t mean any copyright infringement to the original author, and hope they are doing well, wherever they are now.

Title based on the poem 얼굴에 쓴 글씨 by Kim Hyesoon

—–-

Long arms rose above the patrons and waved in wide arcs. Only Minho would, Jonghyun smirked to himself.

He walked among the tables and when he reached the other, he mumbled a low greeting. Usually they would come in here at lunch, after a few matches of badminton at the university sports ground. It was a Saturday afternoon tradition between them. But this morning, he woke up to a message telling him to come straight to breakfast.

He sat down with a sigh and picked up a menu. Almost immediately, fingers rapped on the other side of the laminated page.

“I already ordered for us. The usual, right?”

“What’s the usual?”

Minho sighed. “Yah… is your memory failing you now, too?”

“What if I wanted to try something new for once? Eh?”

“Ah, then show up early next week!”

Jonghyun would’ve continued their farcical argument had he not given into the other’s ridiculous expression – eyes wide, brows raised, lips pouting angrily. It always managed to make him laugh. “This joker…” he chuckled.

Minho’s own countenance melted into a sheepish smile. “Anyway, what do you want to do today? The courts are closed for a month.”

“Maintenance again?”

The other shrugged. “Could be. News is, they had a burst pipe from the storm last week. Flooded the street downstream. All the old people in the big houses near the campus were complaining about it.”

“See?” Jonghyun pointed. “This wouldn’t have happened if they’d taken our advice earlier this year. I told them they should take advantage of the annual upgrade and change the clay pipes in for PVCs. I told them!” he insisted, then waved his arms. “But no~ it’s too excessive~”

Minho giggled, flicking some complimentary peanuts into his mouth. “Still doesn’t change my question—what are we going to do? It’s even nice outside for a change…”

“You could go see the flowers at Everland this year,” a voice suggested to them from a distance. “I hear they’ve come in really pretty.”

“Hyung!” Minho looked excited enough to clap. “You’re back!”

“I’m back,” a man with a pot of coffee and a striped apron casually walked up to their table, smiling at Minho with affection. “And man, is it good to see you two after all the weird people who’ve come in here this week. College students, ah…” He poured the steaming drink into their cups and placed a couple of paper napkins next to each one. “But? I see you two boys are stuck indoors again—look at the weather! What are you doing here?”

“Uh, hyung, you’re not supposed to drive business away?” Minho joked and they both chuckled with each other.

The man turned. “Jong ah,” he nodded amicably. It was the expression most people used with him, no matter how close they may be. Unsure, faltering, tentative. It was natural for them to be that way – after all, they were never sure if he’d recognize them. Several times, they would have to explain their identity and show him photos of themselves with him. It tended to get embarrassing for all parties involved. “How have you been? Everything good at home?” the man tried to smooth over some of his hesitance.

Jonghyun concentrated on the pronunciations. He concentrated on the texture of the speech. Silk, his brain conjured the word. Every time he identified someone correctly, he flooded with a deep warmth; a self-confidence rivaling nothing else. This time too, a radiance grew in the center of his chest, piercing its way out of his rib-cage like it was trying to give away all his secrets. “Jinki hyung,” he greeted, much to the man’s surprise. “It’s nice to see you again, this one was starting to miss you,” he jerked his chin in his friend’s direction.

“Hul…” the server gasped.

“I told you he was getting better at the voice thing!” Minho said in an oddly boastful tone, then realized he’d just admitted to talking about his best friend behind his back.

“You were right,” Jinki grinned.

“How was your trip?” Jonghyun inquired.

“It was good. I got to talk to a lot of universities. They offer a lot of options these days, unlike when I got out of school so… I’m hopeful about it. Yeah,” he ended the statement with some indecision.

“That’s good. I’m glad you got to go.”

They exchanged a friendly smile, and then Jinki jumped like he’d just remembered something. “Oh right! Are we still going to that exhibition this weekend?” he asked.

“The built history one?” Jonghyun felt excited just discussing the meeting. He’d seen the post on his SNS and immediately thought of Jinki, the aspiring architect who sketched in a dog-eared little notebook in his free time. Jinki, who was trying with all his might to get a degree so he could register as a professional and find better work. When Jonghyun forwarded the post to his friends in the industry, he knew it would make its way to its target. “Yeah, of course!”

“I’m… not invited?” Minho inquired with a frown, then his expression lightened before turning impish. “Are you two going on a daaaate?” he teased, then waved his arms and made silly wooo~ sounds.

Jonghyun threw a napkin at the guy’s face. “Be quiet. It’s an educational visit.”

“I can be educational!” the other garbled. “I do… I do education!”

“Shh!”

“Haha, well that’s great,” Jinki chuckled. “So, I’ll see you here tomorrow, after my shift? We can take the subway there. Cool?”

“Cool,” Jonghyun agreed.

Minho rested his face in his hands and leaned his elbows on the table, looking dreamy. “Ahh… a date. How cute~”

“Yah, what’re you saying?!” he was given a not-so-serious scolding.

——

Jonghyun woke up with a start.

He staggered out of the blankets to look for his wallet. “Where is it…. where is it…” he mumbled under frustrated breaths. His heart pounded with fright as he combed through a pile of laundry. When he finally found it, he flicked the wallet open to look for the photo he had put in it many years ago. It was a picture of him in his high school graduation robes, two well-dressed women standing on either side of him, looking on with adoration. Hands shaking, he took the photo out of its clear pocket and held it up in front of his bleary eyes. He blinked hard, once twice thrice. He meant to blink away the sleep. Instead, tears flooded off his lashes and rolled onto his face, fell on his arms, dripped to his shirt. He squeezed his eyes shut while his lungs sobbed, but he tried again. It was expected, it was what happened every time he looked at the picture—at any picture. It was expected and he knew what would happen when he did it. But it still hurt. A twist of pain spread from his heart to his torso to the rest of his body.

He dropped everything and went to his phone. With trembling fingers, he dialed the number and waited for the ringing to stop.

“Jong ah,” the elderly woman greeted in a groggy voice. “What’s wrong? It’s so early in the morning.”

“Ma…” he rasped in the silence of his room. “Ma.”

“Jong ah, what’s happened? Are you hurt?”

“Eomma, I don’t remember your face.”

——

“You look… unwell,” Jinki stated as politely as it seemed he could.

“I’m fine,” Jonghyun tried to brush the attention away. “Just had a rough morning.”

“Is that what the sunglasses are for?” a hint of playfulness sprayed from the other. “Or are they your way of blocking out the unnecessary overload of faces?”

“Both,” Jonghyun joked in return.

They strolled through the park for a few meters until the other spoke up again. “Listen, we… really don’t have to do this today.” He looked concerned. “We can come back another time. I mean, I’d rather you go home and get some rest.”

“It’s the last day of the exhibition, hyung.”

Jinki scoffed. “An exhibition isn’t as important as your health, man,” he muttered.

Worry like this was common, regardless of who he met. It secretly irritated him, but he’d honed the skills to avoid a confrontation whenever it happened. “I tell you what,” he started to lighten the mood. “Why don’t you buy me an ice-cream when we’re done. That way you can pay me back for being here and being miserable.”

The other looked on, uncertain at first, then picked up his usual joviality. “OK!”

They walked some more until they arrived at the artificial hanok village. Houses on low wooden plinths circled a paved courtyard. The organizers had placed a row of old-fashioned shoes outside each house. Colourful paper art hung from lines overhead. Clay tiles gleamed and slate shimmered. Red square-spirals adorned the walls at mid-height. The smell of seaweed soup and pork dumplings was in the air. Tables had been set out for anyone interested in a game or two of baduk. In the distance, two women in traditional clothes played the zither and the flute, while a bunch of young boys in hanboks competed in hacky sack.

It was as if they had been transported to another time. “Just like a sageuk drama,” Jinki sounded a little breathless, running his hands over pillars and walls. The tips of his fingers were stubby, and sometimes came away with plaster or paint. But he still touched everything he could, still tried to feel every surface within his reach. “It’s like a… a dream!” he turned around, eyes sparkling with excitement. Jonghyun grinned at him.

They explored their way through the fair, picked a few things to eat and a few others to drink. At one point, they stopped to watch a dance and drumming performance. They clapped in time with the beat and shared a look before laughing at the MC’s jokes.

When it came time to leave, Jonghyun requested they take a selca. Jinki consented and proceeded to make silly faces at the camera. Later on, out of the other’s sight, Jonghyun chose one of the photos as his lock screen, happily running a thumb over it.

“How about that ice cream?” one called as he walked ahead. The other nodded.

They ambled as they left the exhibition grounds, taking in the sights of the riverside. Streamers and lanterns hung between light poles, announcing the event. Some more girls walked past in full traditional clothes, giggling about something.

“… and I thought they were very clever in the way they negotiated with the locals, tried to get their input to feed back to the planners, cause it’s so important to understand the user grou—you’re not listening,” Jonghyun stopped talking when he saw the other simply watching him.

“No I am!” Jinki assured cheerily as he veered to one side of the walkway. He propped himself against the railing. “I like listening to you talk. You’re very passionate about your job.”

He pursed his lips. “I guess… it pays really well, and I get to work by myself, away from people. So that’s nice.”

“Hmm… you get your own space to think.”

“Exactly.”

The other’s smile was a hint rueful. “How nice.”

“Hey. Hyung,” Jonghyun closed the distance between them. “You’ll get there too, soon,” he encouraged. “I mean… you’re saving up for the education you want, you’re talking to universities so you can make the best choice. You’re clearly driven.”

“I’m also really old,” Jinki sighed. “My mother says I’m being too unrealistic with all this and sometimes… sometimes I think she might be right. You know?“ he shook his head. "A degree in architecture is difficult. And after I’ve done all that, I don’t even know if I’ll ever get a job. In this economy?” He scoffed, scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Ah… I’m thirty and I still haven’t done anything with my life… I’ve wasted so much time.”

“You were in the army, it’s not a waste of time.”

The other offered a grateful smile, but his eyes were suddenly tired. Jonghyun leaned against the railing next to Jinki and said no more. They shared that little island of silence, watching the fair and the mountains in the distance. The sun grazed against their necks and shoulders, hugged their arms as they stood motionless, listening to the sounds of chirping birds. Because of the way Jonghyun’s visual memory worked, he needed constant speech to prompt his brain with information—I’m with this person, we know each other though such and such place, we’re here today on such and such errand. He liked when he could use people’s voices to give them a name because it made him feel safe, feel like he belonged where he was just then. But Jinki’s soft exhales allowed him to be alone for a short while, and he used that time on his own breath.

The spell was broken by a, “Oh, right, I heard you moved to a new apartment?”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Some weeks ago, now.”

“And you haven’t had a housewarming party yet, have you?”

Jonghyun tilted his head at the other, stating the obvious. “Minho?”

Jinki laughed. “Who else but the one and only?”

He shook his head. “That boy and his big mouth… No, I haven’t had a party yet,” he admitted. “I… honestly, I don’t like parties. They’re really. Disorienting.”

“Hmm,” the other hummed sympathetically.

“Plus, I have way too many people I’ll need to invite, and it’s going to be stupidly difficult to call them all up, confirm with each one, then order all their favorite stuff. Clean up the mess when they’re gone. It’s… ah, it’ll be a hassle.”

“You…” Jinki nodded with admiration. “Sound like you have a lot of friends. I’m actually jealous.”

“Yeah well,” Jonghyun started with some bitterness. “Still doesn’t stop me being lonely.”

The other chuckled. “How can you be lonely? This world is so insanely full of people, it’d be impossible.”

“See, that’s what I hate?” he pointed out, frowning and gesturing with his hands. “That in my life, lonely and alone have never met. They’re miles apart.”

Jinki studied him at that, eyes narrowed, lip worried. His hair fluttered in a zephyr and one of his cheeks shone gold against the setting sun. There was a sadness in that stare. It reached out with its arms as if waiting for someone to come pick it up, to come take it away because it didn’t belong there. The sadness seemed to weigh enough that its owner’s vision sagged to the ground, tired of holding itself up to face the rest of the world. If Jonghyun could, he’d have reached out and wiped it clean off the man’s face. But he couldn’t.

“Yeah,” Jinki said lowly, nearly whispering. His gaze moved to the ground, to his own shoes. “I know what you mean.”

——

“What’s up?” Minho answered the phone immediately.

“OK, let’s do it.”

“You mean let’s start a band? Yesssss!”

“Ye—what?” Jonghyun barked into his phone. “No! I’m talking about the thing you’ve been bugging me to do for weeks.”

“Yeah! Start a band!” Minho reiterated.

“Idiot, I mean a house-warming party.”

There was silence for a few seconds. “Ohhhhh… so I take it the date went well huh?”

“It wasn’t a date, we aren’t dating, I was only accompanying him to the fair,” he patiently listed, but bit his lip because he couldn’t really lie. Not to Minho. “And yeah, he did bring up my move and all that but—”

“A-ha!”

“What’s a-ha?” Jonghyun panicked.

“A-ha is you finally deciding to throw a party so you can get Jinki hyung to visit your hooome~ oooh~”

“Yah, yah, yah…!” he warned over Minho’s stupid noises. “It’s nothing like that, don’t go around spreading rumors OK?”

“You’re in loooove~”

“Hang up, right now!” he yelled.

——

He nearly didn’t hear the doorbell over the din. As he balanced a bowl of chips and dip in one hand, used his hip to push a trolley of glasses, and tried to twist the door knob with the other, someone walked past him giving instructions to bring out the drinks. He frowned after them but couldn’t pinpoint with any certainty who it was. When he gave up, the newcomer at his threshold waved.

Jonghyun frowned. The guest had short hair, a hooked nose, wore a loose sleeveless shirt and jeans, and carried a small bouquet of red roses. Nothing in their appearance could give away what or who they were. “He-hello…” he tried.

The other person tried to ease off the awkwardness. “Uh, thanks for inviting me,” he said with an appreciative nod. “Sorry I’m late, I wanted to pick these up for you–”

“Oh! It’s you, hyung,” Jonghyun sighed with relief. “Come, come on in!” he waved.

“Wow!” Jinki immediately let out. “This place is…”

“Big?” Jonghyun raised his eyebrows in suggestion. “Huge!” the other’s eyes were wide. “So… so Miesian too, like all the glass is really. Fresh and modern and—”

“Tell me what you think later, here take this off me and feed yourself,” he offered the bowl and started walking back to the kitchen. “I’ll be right back, just try to find Minho, he’ll show you around.”

When Jonghyun wheeled the trolley to the kitchen, a woman was standing there, leaning against the island. He offered her a bottle of beer. “Can I help you?” he asked her.

“Yah, you know I only drink beer when there’s fried chicken,” the woman responded, then suddenly perked up at an idea. "Did you order any fried chicken?”

“Noona,” Jonghyun whined with a sudden rush of tiredness, walking over for a hug. “This is so difficult,” he muttered into her shoulder.

Sodam patted the back of his head. “You’re doing fine. And I’m right here. Just call out, if you need me, OK?”

He hummed reluctantly before he was sent back into the crowd. Jonghyun trudged to the living room, a case of beers in one hand. A circle of guests waved to him with congratulatory words, and although he recognized no one, he did his best to behave amicably. As soon as he could excuse himself, he set the bottles safely onto a table. On cue, someone climbed onto his back with a loud proclamation of “Jonggie hyung!”

With the affectionate term, and the bounce in the other’s voice, the connection to face and name was instant. “Oh! Taeminnie!”

The boy got off and hugged him tightly. “Ahhhh, have I missed you,“ Jonghyun was swayed to and fro. "We don’t even meet like we used to every morning, now that you’ve moved. You’re so far away… I had to take two trains to get here.” Taemin pouted cutely.

“You’re here now,” Jonghyun said with love, grasping the other’s shoulders. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“This party’s great! Everyone’s here!” Taemin skipped a little in place. “I even ran into Jongin and Hyoyeon noona in the balcony. I haven’t seen any of you in so long, ah~! Remember when we used to go on a drive in the hills?”

Jonghyun nodded happily. “And how is Naeun doing?” he inquired.

“What, she hasn’t filed for divorce yet?” Minho’s warm voice slid into the conversation. “I’m shocked, considering what a headache you can be on your best da—ack!” Taemin tackled him playfully and Jonghyun decided to leave the two of them alone to their stupid wrestling.

“Just don’t break anything!” he called out after them with a grin. More unknown faces and more good wishes ambushed him. And they would’ve continued to do so for the good part of the evening, had he not bowed out of conversations before they turned unpleasant for him.

At a moment of leisure, Jonghyun’s eyes looked through the crowd for any sign of red roses. When he found it, he started to swim through the throng to get to it. All along the way there, people commended him on the new apartment and gave him all sorts of compliments. He thanked them as best as he could without seeming too rude. With Jinki’s familiar back within earshot, he called out.

“Hyung, I—”

“Oh, there you are,” the other turned around with a wide smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.” Jonghyun wondered if he’d ever been privy to it before, because there was nothing but sunshine in that smile. It glowed like gold and warmed his cheeks as if summer had landed on his face, resting against his skin after a long flight. He wondered if Jinki had ever shown him an expression like that before, and wondered if it would’ve made Jonghyun’s cold nights more bearable–had he been able to remember such a smile. He almost blushed, almost shied a little at the thought but the other pulled him over by his arm.

“We were just talking about you,” Jinki held the roses out for his host to take, and motioned a third man standing next to him; a scar on his eyebrow and a piercing in his lip. The newcomer looked from one to the other and gave a soft smile.

“Hi.”

Jonghyun squinted. “Hello, I’m so glad you could come,” he attempted, in a manoeuvre to identify who the other person was.

“It’s me,” the man said, as if it should’ve been obvious who he was by now. “Kim Kibum?”

“Oh,” Jonghyun’s nervousness cooled down. He shot the other a sheepish purse of the lips. “Hey. I meant it, Bummie. I’m glad you’re here.”

Kibum’s momentary coldness disappeared. “How have you been, Jjong?”

“Good,” he nodded. “Very good. So…” he took a deep breath. “I see you two have already met.”

“He’s been singing your praises for a while now,” Jinki assured. “And giving me some very interesting dirt on you in the process,” he teased.

“Dirt?” Jonghyun shot a worried look at Kibum. “Wh-what dirt?”

Jinki stared at him in disbelief for a moment. “I’m joking!” he laughed.

“Don’t mind him,” Kibum said. “He’s always like this. Always makes a mountain out of a molehill.”

“No, I don’t,” Jonghyun challenged, willing to argue over the fact.

“See?” and the other two giggled. “Anyway. This is a great house, Jjong. And a great party too,” Kibum placated. “I only wish there were some music, you know?”

“Yah, he’s already confused as it is, you want to add to the confusion?!” Minho appeared behind them on cue, carrying a tray heavy with refreshments for other guests. “Use your brain!”

“At least I have a brain to use!” Kibum retorted and Minho squealed with laughter, nearly spilling all his food. They all chuckled along.

“OK, you two have fun, I need to say hello to some more people,” Jonghyun bid them farewell, not wanting to to leave but also not wanting to stay. On his way, Minho took him aside and described a few visitors to him: told him their names and what they were wearing, just so he could avoid the discomfiture of meeting the same group of guests more than once. He nodded and tried to remember everything, tried to smile at everyone he passed, tried to give everyone his hellos and offer a drink to whoever asked about his health. He tried to enjoy himself, take pride in his new home and his old friends all gathering to celebrate it with him. He honestly tried.

Through it all, he made sure not to turn around and look back at the other two again. But when he was at the sliding door to the balcony, and the setting sun caught in his eyes, his gaze naturally strayed back to the place he’d last seen Kibum and Jinki. Kibum with Jinki. The sight made him feel bitter. One leaned on the other’s shoulder, guffawing. The other blushed and grinned, looked somewhat pleased with himself. Both seemed like they were in a world of their own, neither appeared to remember what brought them together.

And that’s when Jonghyun knew this party was long over.

——

But he didn’t give up.

The next chance he could find, he went out to their usual café on his lunch hour. He’d had to take a train and walk in the sun for fifteen minutes. By the time he’d arrived, his shirt was soaked in all the uncomfortable places. He loosened his tie and fanned himself with the menu. A few minutes later, a familiar frame walked over to him with a pot of coffee.

“Oh, hyung, how have you been? Sorry I meant to call after the party but there was so much to do an—”

“Ah… excuse me?” the server said in an odd, unfamiliar voice. A gravelly, discordant voice. “Do… we know each other?”

Jonghyun watched the man in growing shock. He blinked gawkily. “I—I’m sorry,” he bowed in his seat. “I thought you were someone else.”

“Ah, really?” the man said with clear skepticism. “Do they work here?”

“Y-yeah, I’m actually here to meet Jinki hyung?”

“Oh, no,” the server shook his head. “He doesn’t work the afternoon shift on Tuesdays. He’ll only be here after five. If you like, I could take a message to pass on to him,” the man offered, but not with any sincerity. The look on his face seemed to accuse Jonghyun of something. Something like insanity.

“No…” he declined, mortified and crestfallen. “That’s OK. Thank you.”

He didn’t return to work after the ordeal. He called in sick and went straight home, answering none of his co-worker’s perturbed questions. He didn’t bother picking up his bag from the office, didn’t even bother picking up his dinner from the usual dumpling house near the apartment block. On the subway, his phone buzzed but he ignored it. In the lift, someone greeted him pleasantly, but he paid them no heed. As soon as he was indoors, he locked himself up, drew all the curtains, took a hot shower, put on his softest pyjamas, lit a candle on his bed side table, and went to sleep.

——

“I’m sorry, I should’ve given you my number so you could contact me before you came over,” Jinki spoke in hushed tones. Between them sat a basket of fruits and a card that read get well soon! in English. Obviously, Minho had put him up to this.

“No, it’s my fault,” Jonghyun shook his head. “I wasn’t sure what I was thinking, dropping in like that.”

The other tilted his head but said nothing, as if waiting for him to elaborate. But there was nothing much to add. Jonghyun had tried to reach for something that was far out of his grasp. When his fingertips had made contact with it, he’d tried to swing his arm like the motion would help him find some purchase. But just like the time he tried to show off at the pull-up bars in high school, his grip grew sweaty and he slipped. The fall was hard, and the humiliation amplified the pain.

Jonghyun had made a fool of himself.

“I… just came to ask how the party was,” he shook his head. “Yeah,” he let out a chagrin-filled laugh when he saw the confusion on the other’s face. “It was stupid. Coming all the way to the other side of town for something stupid like that.” But he still looked at Jinki expectantly.

The man shook his head. “It… it was good. I—we all had fun, yeah—” he assured in a jumble. “I could tell you were meeting a lot of those people after a very long time, so they were happy to be here.”

“Yeah… that’s true.”

“Jong ah, what is…” the other slid off his stool. “What is this actually about?”

“Nothing,” Jonghyun chuckled it away, clapping his hands, rubbing them together in a habit from his disgraceful high school days. “But I’m happy you enjoyed yourself. And I could tell you liked meeting my friends, too,“ he nodded. "You’ve always been close to Minho, but you and Kibum seemed to really hit it off with each other that day,” he said in a tone that insinuated things he wasn’t willing to say.

“Jong,” Jinki nudged again, his tone constantly and unbearably calm. “What’s going on?”

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling like he’d find courage hidden there. His visitor walked around the kitchen island to close the distance between them, but Jonghyun stood and took a step back, motioning for Jinki to stay where he was. “Don’t,” he requested. “Please.”

Jinki’s expression took on a hint of helplessness. “Jong ah—”

“I want something,” he was cut off. “From you,” Jonghyun emphasized to put his point forward, gulping. “I want you to give me something that is unreasonable to ask for, and that’s why I act like an idiot.” He let out an exhale that came with the reprieve of confession. “I want you to give me this thing, and I want you to give it to me unconditionally—no, hyung! Hyung,” he cautioned. “Don’t come any closer, let me finish.”

The other sighed heavily. Jonghyun’s own breath had sped up by a large measure.

“I can’t say, that… that I can give you anything in return for that something,” he shook his head. “I can’t say I can make you happy, because,” his eyes burned at the sound of his words. “Because I have never made anyone happy. Least of all, myself,” he let out a mirthless laugh. “I can’t say that I can give you everything I have, because I have nothing.”

Jinki carefully walked forward at that, regardless of all warnings. “What do you want?” he whispered when they were an arm’s length away. It was getting late in the day, and the kitchen was slowly being flooded by darkness. Deep shadows played on the man’s face. “Tell me what you want.”

“You couldn’t give it to me, even if you wanted to,” Jonghyun looked away. “I mean, Kibum tried and look what happened—”

“Why do you keep bringing him up?” the other scolded.

Jonghyun turned back to him with incredulity. “Do you really not get it?” he looked from one amber eye to the other and found no trace of cruelty in them. Jinki wasn’t playing games with him, he was genuinely clueless.

“Hyung, Kibum and I were together for a long time.”

“I gathered.”

“Then do you know why we went our separate ways?” Jonghyun straightened up to his full height. “Do you know what fucked us up?”

“No, and I don’t really care—”

“It was me,” Jonghyun told him anyway, anger finding its way to the edges of his words. “I constantly mistook other men for Kibum and it ruined our relationship and… and once I kissed someone else. And I couldn’t take it anymore.”

Jinki said nothing.

“Do you understand what that means?”

“… Jong ah,”

“It means that no matter how faithful I want to be to someone, no matter how much I love someone, no matter what I do to try and not fuck it up?” his voice broke against his tears. “I fail. I fail all the time. And everyone knows that,” he defined angrily. “Every single person who has ever met me, knows that. And I have to look at their faces when they realize it, over and over. I have to see them think it when they find out what I am, and that—” he sobbed. “And that is why I can’t ask you.”

Jinki pulled him into a hug then but was immediately rejected. “Hey,” he tried again, slower, softer. But when Jonghyun violently fought him off a second and third time, he gripped the man’s arms hard and trapped him against the kitchen counter. “Sto—stop it!” he yelled.

Jonghyun sagged against him then, quaking like a child.

——

“I’ll give you whatever you want,” Jinki agreed.

They’d ended up lying on the carpet of the living room, feet pointing in opposite directions and temples nearly touching each other. Jonghyun was calmer now, arms crossed over his chest as it moved with his breathing. But his nose still sniffled and a stray tear or two still dripped to his ears. He’d wipe each of them away, just so Jinki wouldn’t have to worry about it.

“I’ll be with you, Jong ah, but you need to make some changes in your life,” the man said.

He nodded wordlessly. He approved of that sentiment. “Yeah.”

“First, I want you to see a therapist—no, hear me out,” Jinki tamped out the protest Jonghyun started to make. “I want to help you, I really do. But I can’t help you with everything. Some of this stuff… Jong, some of the things you feel are really powerful, and they’re eating you up from the inside. There is a way to deal with them, but I don’t know it. You need professional advice to face those feelings. Do you think that’s reasonable?”

He didn’t want to admit defeat, because that’s what it felt like he was doing. Therapy was always seen as a last resort, a shameful alternative to being fine. Being whole and perfect and happy. He wanted to stop thinking of it with the narrow-mindedness of society. It was difficult. It was tough to accept. But he would certainly try, on Jinki’s insistence. “OK.”

“Good,” the other turned his head, their faces close enough to lean in for a kiss. But Jinki didn’t attempt, and Jonghyun didn’t seek. “Second, I want you to remember that you are not alone,” he felt around for Jonghyun’s phone and saved himself as a contact. “Now you can reach me whenever you like. Even if you’re bored and want someone to talk to. Call me anytime, alright?”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I want you to just remember that I’m here for you.”

Jonghyun turned too, this time. Their eyes met and stayed met for a long series of moments. “Thank you,” he whispered again, between them.

——

With several months behind them, their lives—and schedules—plateaued into each other.

Saturday morning was still dedicated to badminton and lunch at the café. Jinki still served them but lingered to chat with Jonghyun, sometimes playing with his hand, other times giving him a complimentary slice of cheesecake. Minho would whine things like unfair and I want to date someone too, and they’d giggle about it later.

After a lot of scheduling, cancelling, and rescheduling, Jonghyun settled for therapy sessions every Monday straight after work. He stuck to the routine no matter how shameful it felt to admit the fact to his family and close friends.

Wednesday nights, they would meet at the apartment where one watched TV and another worked on his portfolio for university applications. Sometimes, when the weather was pleasant, they went for walks along Cheonggyecheon. Sometimes, they invited Taemin and Naeun out on double dates. Sometimes, they just sat on the floor and played board games.

Most of the time, Jinki was close and listening attentively.

Jonghyun was happier. He could honestly say that, with no embellishment and no stretching of the truth. He felt lighter than he had in months. His mind was clearer, and he was able to make more of an effort at recognizing faces – putting names against voices, hair, mannerisms. His self-confidence would rocket every time he guessed correctly, and the few mistakes he made never weighed him down. He’d actively made an attempt to forgive himself, to move on from his slip-ups and not carry them around with himself. He was happier.

But he didn’t want to stop here. He wanted to keep moving forward. He wanted to keep climbing. And he decided to bring it up at dinner one Wednesday.

“So, the voice thing,” Jinki said as he polished all the food off his plate. “Tell me how it works. I’m curious,” he questioned while munching through a mouthful of side-dishes.

“It’s easy,” Jonghyun shrugged, hissing at something spicy. “I just connect peoples voices with images that remind me of them. For example, Taemin,” he explained. “We lived in the same neighborhood as children, and he used to own this… huge colorful beach ball,” he motioned with his hands. “Everyone wanted to be friends with him because everyone loved that ball. So, when I hear a voice, and it sounds lively and fun, I’m immediately reminded of that ridiculous beach ball. And that’s how I know it’s Taemin.”

Jinki smiled, nodding his comprehension as he settled back into his chair. “What about the others?”

“Minho sounds lazy. Warm and lazy, like wool and hot chocolate.”

“Well, he does like his scarves.”

They shared a laugh at that. “Yeah, he does.”

"I’m sure his wardrobe is filled with them and nothing else.”

“Kibum is like… well, his breath always smelled of cigarettes when we were dating, and he used to wear a lot of silver rings. So I know when I hear something cutting or sharp, it’s him.”

“You do him so much justice,” Jinki chortled.

“Hey, you only met him for a couple of hours. Get to know him a little, and you’ll see what I mean.”

“Heh,” the other was amused. “What about me, then?” he asked, leaning forward on an elbow, looking sleepy and tired after all the time he’d put into his applications that night. “What do I remind you of?”

“I…” Jonghyun blushed. “I don’t want to say, because you might think I’m silly.”

“This is reverse psychology. Now I want to know!”

They giggled. “You’re like…” he pursed his lips. “You’re like a silk worm.”

“Wow, harsh.”

“No, no, hear me out:” Jonghyun rushed to clarify, chuckling and holding the other’s wrist. “You know how silkworms work really really hard so they can produce little pieces of string? String that we then collect and make into something beautiful? Yeah… you’re like that. You work hard on whatever you do. And it ultimately gives people happiness.”

Jinki watched him with an adoring smile. “You really know how to impress me, don’t you?”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Jonghyun said, trying to act charming but immediately breaking into a fit of laughter at himself. The other watched him for a while, matching his mirth. And suddenly the urge to lean across the island for a kiss intensified. But in the six months they’d been together, they hadn’t tried to get too attached. There was a mutual unspoken pact that they didn’t want to rush into anything. Things needed to move slowly, not on impulse. And although Jonghyun’s last relationship had been long and deeply intimate, this contrast in pace was pleasant. Beyond holding hands, he decided to respect the distance as best as he could. “Hyung,” he said in place of it.

“Hmm.”

“Let’s go on a trip together.”

“Sure, where?”

“I…” Jonghyun hesitated, trying hard not to sound too forward. “I really want to go to a nice resort somewhere. Maybe Fiji?”

“Ah…” Jinki looked unnerved. “Jong ah, hyung doesn’t have that kind of money…”

“It’ll be a gift,” the offer gushed out. “From me to you. I-I mean—” he faltered. “You’re going to start university next year, and we may not see each other as often anymore. This could be a… going away present?”

Jinki licked his lips, seeming a little worried. “Jong, the university is right here. In Seoul.”

“Yeah, I know but—”

“And it’s a generous offer, really, it is. Thank you, I’m… I’m flattered that you would want to go away on an island vacation with me. Really, thank you.”

Jonghyun blinked. “But?”

“But…“ Jinki blinked. "I need to think about it. It’s a lot to consider, I hope you understand?”

“Hmm…”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t want to go with you. Trust me, if I could drop everything right now and leave, I would.”

“I’m sorry. I… seem to have burdened you with something unnecessary again,” Jonghyun said sheepishly.

But Jinki didn’t reply. He shook his head with a muttered this person, walked around the table and embraced the other’s forehead to his stomach.

—–

Jinki did say yes in the end, acquiescing on the condition that he be loaned his half of the expenses. Jonghyun had wasted no time in booking flights and accommodation, then.

To be quite honest, he had wasted some time jumping around the apartment like an excited child. He’d skipped through the kitchen, slid down the railing of the stairs, done a little jig in the living room–tripped and nearly hurt himself on the corner of the centre table, too. But the holiday was to happen, that much was certain, and now he felt like he was filled with air: light, warm, soothed like the sighs of an admirer.

He kept the expenses low, out of consideration for the other. But he also didn’t stinge on where they stayed, and how long they stayed for. On their first day in Fiji, a private ferry picked them up at the port and an hour later dropped them off outside a quiet little cottage, concealed on all sides by large bursts of vegetation. Jinki looked undeniably amazed when he stepped out onto the sand, and Jonghyun simply ran up to what would be their home for the next two weeks, flailing his arms and rolling on tufts of dry grass — willing to appear childish now that no eyes could see him.

They spent their mornings gorging on the breakfast buffet, spent their afternoons snorkeling or kayaking in the ocean. And at night, when the crickets were singing outside, Jinki would bring out his laptop so they could watch a movie under shared blankets.

On his part, Jinki never left Jonghyun by himself for longer than necessary. He would have friendly conversations with the people they met on the trip, and he would make additional bookings or requests on their behalf. Jonghyun didn’t mind being a passenger in those situations. There was no loss of autonomy in it, he realized. It was the other’s way of protecting him. And he was grateful. He felt an odd sense of safety.

——

On the last evening of their trip, they sat down by the shore. Waves lapped on the sand and turned to froth against their toes. Jonghyun hugged his knees and Jinki brought out a pair of beer cans, their fourth… or no. Maybe their fifth of the night. In the distance, the last ferry ride of the day drifted out to the mainland, only visible by the lights on its front and the din of its engine.

“I could live in a place like this.” It didn’t matter who breathed those words out into the cool air. They both felt it: in different ways, in varying degrees. Where one envied the isolation of an island, the other loved the way silence reigned over it. One enjoyed the feeling of sand against his naked heels, the other missed the sun baking his bare shoulders. One could float on the undulating ocean forever, another could fall sleep in the shade of mango trees. Jonghyun could’ve stayed and if Jinki had the courage to, he would’ve also forgone leaving here. But the renouncement of something would never come without the sacrifice of something else. They knew this, and they spoke it to each other. Silently. Between sips of cold beer and grips around condensation.

“Thank you,” Jinki suddenly hushed. “For bringing me here. For showing me things I would’ve probably never seen.”

Jonghyun shook his head. “If you’d never said yes, I wouldn’t be here, either. So I should be thanking you,” he turned and smiled, leaning his chin on his arm. When the other returned the smile, he dipped his face shyly, hiding it behind the inside of his elbow. And the thought that he may be drunk occurred to him. The buzz in his cheeks flushed down his neck and into his chest. His skin fizzed with excitement, his lungs coursed with anticipation

“Let’s go for a swim,” he said. The disbelieving pause between him slipping off his shirt and Jinki’s startled eh?! was long, and a little funny. Jonghyun chuckled, dizzy with the emotion, high off of more than alcohol. “Come, hyung,” he beckoned, tilting his head to the water.

“You know there’s going to be all sorts of stuff in the water now, right?”

“That’s OK,” Jonghyun had been really worried about stepping on fish when they went snorkeling in the daytime. He’d even yelled out when he accidentally squished a sea cucumber. But now. No fear resided in his gut anymore, just a heavy pulse. To keep going. To keep stripping.

If Jinki felt any shame from seeing his host unclothed, he didn’t show it. He followed Jonghyun’s face with his sight, first in confusion and then in curiosity. “Wait…” he tried when the other began to walk in. “Wait, you’re drunk.” But he threw off his clothes as well, following close behind.

The water was cold, the tide gentle as it lapped their ankles their thighs their waists. The moon shone over them, its light folding them in cool blankets. Jonghyun stared up at it as he walked then swam. He turned to connect his eyes with Jinki once: not to check if he was still there, just to assure him that he wanted this. Wanted to be followed. Wanted to be chased. Wanted to be caught.

Jinki’s gaze seemed to understand.

They swam for a while, first in a line and then at a point. One stopped and the other continued, cutting the water in a diminishing spiral. One looked and the other looked back. One thought he was drowning and the other knew they were soaring. One stalled, swirled, kept himself afloat. Waiting. The other moved, dived, approached as if from all sides. Wanting.

They waded deep enough that their feet stopped touching the sand. Jinki’s circling stopped, too. He swum to a halt in front of a sobbing Jonghyun. It was only them riding those waves, then. Only Jinki, only Jonghyun, and only the moonlight wavering between them on the water.

“Why are you sad?” Jinki asked. His voice was tender, the words seeming to cradle Jonghyun in their arms.

“Because,” he said, laughing and weeping all at the same time. “Because I can see you. Clearly. And I know you. I know in my gut, to give you a name. To give you your identity. I…” Jonghyun shook his head, bringing his hand out the water to wipe his face and drenching it further. “I know exactly who you are. Right now. In this second. And–” he cried. “And I’m sad because this second won’t stay. It will go away it will never come back and I don’t want that, I don’t want to leave this time I just–”

“Then let’s stop time,” Jinki said before he swallowed Jonghyun into a gasping kiss and the water swallowed their bodies whole.

——

It had been written on the sand of Jinki’s island. It had been scrawled on the beach, scratched on the rocks that fell towards Jonghyun’s sea.

It had been written that they would meet like this, when one eroded and the other abated.

It had been written a long time ago that they would meet when Jonghyun washed to the shore, flung to land by the waves. Jinki had been waiting ready, with his arms open to catch him.

It had been written that their lives would be pulled together like sticks bound in rope. That they would float and drown together, as driftwood, every morning. And when dusk finally came they would swim. Home. To the place they built. Dug into the ground and poured in like cement that dries even when the monsoon comes. Even when showers flood and lighting crashes it was written they would be held. As one. As together. As Jinki and Jonghyun.

And when the sun set. When the moon danced into view it was written that they would spin. They would roll their memories together like dough between their hands, flatten them into the circle of time before throwing them up into the sky. At the stars. At the universe. Into Jonghyun’s sea where they dissolved and disappeared. Absorbed into his tongue where he could always reach them but never bring them to his lips. It was written that Jinki would step aside when Jonghyun fell back into the water. When he swum out with the determination of getting away from the island. From his survival. From Jinki. It was written he would be given way. Despite the fear of his never returning. Despite the fear that time would start turning again and twist in their chests with pain.

It was written that life would draw messages on the beach, reminding them of the second their chests pressed together and their breath danced in the middle of folding lips. Even as the waves washed everything away, over and over. The memory was drawn until life broke its stick. And left them to maneuver through their splashing night and their blushing morning.

——

A year passed.

It was time for Jinki to go to university. They’d moved in together some months prior. Jinki had fought the suggestion hard but when he noticed how expensive rent could get in the university area, he was defeated. Jonghyun had reasoned it would still give them time together, even with work and studies. "It’ll be good for us, hyung,” he’d insisted.

And it was the truth.

Every day Jinki slowly brought in more of his things and every night Jonghyun made more and more room for him in the previously bare apartment until it felt full. Full of things, full of memories, full of happiness. And with every addition Jonghyun felt fuller too. Even if Jinki complained his things were a little scruffy or a little tattered, he didn’t mind. He bought new sheets and new quilts. He bought a second pair of pillows. He bought a set of drawers for the other’s clothes. He bought more cutlery to share. He bought everything they would need to go from being more than one. More than just him.

Every morning Jonghyun spoke a soft, “hyung?” to confirm if it really was Jinki lying next to him. Some days the other joked and said something silly like, “No, it’s your conscience.” Some days a soft kiss would be answer enough. Some other, rare days, Jonghyun would cry and hide his face in his pillow, feeling frustrated that he couldn’t even identify the man he lived with. The man he loved and was obviously loved by in return. Jinki stayed by his side for a long time on those mornings, hushing and comforting him, never tiring of him, never complaining or walking away.

“You’re sure about this?” he asked one afternoon as they lazed on the sofa.

Jonghyun said nothing, snuggling up to the other. He wasn’t sure about it at all. He felt no certainty in letting another person into his space. The space he had guarded fervently up until Jinki had knocked on the door and held out a bunch of red roses. He wasn’t sure. But he would remain unsure until they tried. And that was all this was. Trying. To be happy, to be whole, to start again. That was all this was. He said nothing as Jinki put an arm around him and kissed the back of his head. He gave and gave and Jinki received and accepted until at some point in their cohabitation. On some mundane morning as he sat in the train to work, Jonghyun wondered if he was a little Jinki, now. If the man he shared his apartment with was in actuality, half-Jonghyun.

He thought about it all day, all through work, even all through the night when they met and hugged and kissed and ate dinner. He thought about it when the other held him close in bed, gripped him hard, pressed a pair of soft lips to his ear and showered him with compliments as he moved deep inside him. He thought about it in his breaking voice and his scratching fingers and his peaking moans–maybe he wasn’t himself. Maybe the other wasn’t himself, either. Maybe they became each other’s, on a dark and sandy beach in the middle of an ocean. Maybe they melded, became an alloy. A Jinki-Jonghyun that couldn’t be separated with ease. He wondered even after they came back down from their high, the sheets as sweaty as their foreheads, the bed as creaky as their thighs, the air as balmy as their breath.

“You’re sure about this?” Jinki asked again, several times. And Jonghyun never answered. But the response slowly blossomed in his chest as the days became months.

His life had less uncertainties in their time together. Even when work became hectic and university took up all the time they could’ve spent in each other’s arms. Even then, Jonghyun grew less unsure. Less negative. Less unstable on his feet when looking at faces and listening to voices. He knew that the clatter of plates in the kitchen was Jinki. Or the sound of music in the late afternoon was Jinki. The jangle of keys at the door was Jinki and even the hushed sigh behind him in bed was Jinki. Even if he didn’t always recognize the things he should’ve–the picture of his mother, the friends on his phone, the sound of his own heart. Even if all that fell to unfamiliarity, Jinki never did. Not his summery grins, not his happy clap, not his hot kisses or his rippling muscles.

A year passed.

But Minho continued his complaints. “How come no one will date me?” he stamped his feet as they finished their run in he park. “I’m cute! Hyung, am I not cute?” he demanded of Jinki.

“Adorable,” the other panted, bending over and supporting himself on his knees. “How is he not tired…?!” he said incredulously.

Jonghyun cringed and wiped his brow, but glared at the tall man, the stitch in his side making him unable to answer back.

A year passed.

But Taemin and his wife still met them, often. They would eat and go for walks and sometimes. Sometimes Jonghyun would listen to the sounds of the baby in Naeun’s belly, closing his eyes and giggling. Imagining who the child would take after, even if their faces never registered in his mind. And then he imagined what Jinki would look like holding it. Holding any child, cradling it and humming it to sleep. He would feel warm at the image of sturdy arms around a delicate bundle of blankets.

A year passed.

Sometimes the thought of Kibum would still interfere with his mind. Make him remember the things he was ashamed of, things that embarrassed him still. Things he wished he could forget as easily as the faces surrounding him, but was slapped by on his worst days. And he fought Jinki over it. Birthed arguments from stupid things like forgetting to switch off lights or leaving a dirty spoon on the counter. He yelled and screamed and cried his eyes out while Jinki waited quietly for him to finish. Then he sobbed against the man’s chest, being soothed and being led to bed, being comforted to sleep it all off.

A year passed.

And it wasn’t a perfect year. It wasn’t always happy. It wasn’t always a bed of roses. But it passed regardless. And while Jonghyun still couldn’t tell people apart, still had to listen closely in important meetings and critical situations. Even if that was still as it had always been, he was different. He was no longer just Jonghyun. He was more.

#jongyu #long fic #au #shinee

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wellijustfinnihedoneofthebooks · 5 years ago

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Dumb things kids I've known have done that i find unreasonably funny

Time to explain the fuckery.

1. Bucket hat kid. So you know it was the dc trip in eighth grade and this one kid gets 3 bucket hats and 2 visors, so of course he decides to wear them all at the same time, now of course this is funny but here's the part I find even funnier when we were going back onto the bus me and my friend overheard his friend ranting, "Why do all of you keep getting bucket hats!?! Why!?! You all look the exact same! [He said bucket hat kid's name here but Im not gonna say his name] speant all of MY money on bucket hats! I hate bucket hats!" Which made me and my friend fucking die cause like bruh why did you give him money? Like dude you could've just not given him money to buy bucket hats with? Anyways time for more stories about bucket hat kid, to start off a personal favorite of mine, at like the cruise thing at dc he did a backflip to start the night. Like an absolute mad man he did a backflip (later the dj told everyone no flipping allowed. Buzzkill.). In like 6th grade when they announced who got perfect attendance he got it but was absent that day. He's really good at blackjack. One time him and another kid got in an argument and the other kid at one point just goes "well you dont have earlobes!", he has really small ears, and then he very angrilly responded with "i do! They're just little!" I found it very entertaining to watch from 2 seats away.

2. Double racket kid. Basically just once durring gym everyone was doing badminton and this one kid is just using 2 rackets and doing like the best in the class and then the minute he has to put down a racket he did really poorly. He's also my rival so I gotta include him, in all the classes we share we have a contest on which one of us can answer first, it is really intense in history. Were usually both unofficial team leaders in class debates and will just try our best to destroy eachother. And we cant work together cause then it's unfair for everyone else.

3. Salt bae. So one time for spirit week we had character day where you dress up as whoever you want and this absolute icon dresses up as salt bae and carries around a morton thing of salt all day. She's also a genuinly helarious person. And she was my only friend in 3rd grade and like it's impressive to be able to tolerate 3rd grade me, we bonded over anime at the lunch table :)

4. Virginity rocks. Time to go into the blondest person I've ever met, like no exadurating his hair is that shade of yellow, but so he sometimes just wears a hoodie that says "virginity rocks" on it, and according to my friend he also has a virginity rocks t-shirt, so there's a chance he has a virginity rocks shirt under his virginity rocks hoodie, and his phone background is virginity rocks and his Instagram profile picture. It's nice to see consistency in a person. But time for the real funny thing about him, the way he plays sports in gym. For instance once durring the pre-mentioned badminton game he placed his racket on the ground and tried to hit it with his hand, he also tried hitting it with his foot, but the main thing he does is try to hit stuff as high and hard as he can, like whenever there was free gym him and his friend would play hockey, and he would just try to launch the puck into the wall above the goal as much as possible, at one point he flung a waterbattle into the bleachers with his hockey stick while me and my friend were near the bleachers and he got extremely excited about it and braged to anyone in the near vicinity (honestly same bro) which me and my friend were the first he bragged about it to. I don't think I've ever seen anyone more excited than he was after hitting a water bottle into the bleachers. He also often would try to play hockey with basketballs. Or one time his friend left the hockey game to go play soccer so he went tok annoy him back into hockey by trying to play the soccer game with a hockey stick. Very entertaining person 10/10.

5. "Aren't eggs stored in the balls?" A quote from the magical time of eighth grade when a girl said this durring health. From the same girl that said "what's hygiene?" We got "aren't eggs stored in the balls?" To which the entire class died. Cause my god how did you get this far. 10/10 helarious but doesn't know it.

6. Tutu. So it was some like pink day thing so of course this dude comes in the outfit he wears everyday and a pink tutu. Okay but time to get into the real shit, so once durring spanish in one of the few moments of quiet this kid leans over to his friend and asks "could a dog have sex with a human?" Now he was clearly trying to whisper but he clearly can't physically whisper (same bro) and so the entire class lost it. As anyone would in that situation. Another time so a teacher put on finding nemo and he just started reciting along with it, like perfectly, at the end of that class he looked at me and said "I don't even like this movie." Legend. One time at the end of the year in sciemce sense we didn't have much to do the teacher layed out some stem kits things (similar to legos but not quite) and we got into groups of 4 and were supposed to make cars with the instructions provided, me and him were in the same group. For the first half of the class me and him just sorted out the parts while the other 2 actually made model cars and stuff but then we started messing with wheels and we made our own car completely without the instructions and barely staying together. The other 2 made 2 cars that worked perfectly and we made 1 car that only rolled if you pushed it (you were supposed to put in a rubber band to launch it. We didnt cause that seemed hard.) and might fall apart at that. But for 2 minutes we had a lovely (lovely to us at least) car that we then had to dismantle. It was fun. Then so one time when school was over I was walking down the stairs to leave, they were fairly empty for once and then suddenly a backpack flies over the edge and lands infront of me, I turn around to see this kid sliding down the railing which he then picks up his backpack and runs out. He's also one of the most charismatic and easy to talk to people I've ever met and that's not an exaduration. Like he can talk to litterily anyone.

That's not all the dumb shit I've seen at school but those are some big funny ones.

#do you like that i wrote a lot more for some people #my art #dumb shit #long post #stories #art #but like the fuck how can you physically be that blond? bruh #this took so long

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hoseokmylovesworld · 5 years ago

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Picture of Love | 09

Pairing: Photographer!Hoseok x OC x Producer!Yoongi

Genre/Warnings: Hoseok AU/Yoongi AU/Includes strong language, anxiety, panic attack

Words: 4,694

Summary: Charlotte Galloway is the leader of the up and coming girl band, “She-Bang”, with a side hustle as a photographer for anyone who will hire her. She meets a fellow professional photographer named Jung Hoseok who helps “She-Bang” realize their dreams and Charlotte to make a love connection along the way.

"Yup...Yes ma'am!...Thank you so much Aubrey, we really appreciate it!...Thank you, you too!" I hang up the phone with the club owner of the Mezzanine, thus closing the deal of performing there tomorrow night. "Good news girls!" I shout, exiting the bathroom of the hotel room. "Oh yeah?" says Leyah from her trusty bed.

Does she ever move?

Carrie sat on the floor at the foot of my bed in between Vicky's legs, who was braiding her hair.

"I have just setup a gig at the Mezzanine for tomorrow night." I say smugly walking into the room. "Aw fuck yeah!" Carrie cheers from her spot on the floor causing the rest of our eyes to widen and us to giggle. "That's great. That place we went clubbing at a few days ago?" Leyah specifies. "Yup. Called the club owner and asked if we could do a set. She was uneasy about it, then she watched some of our YouTube videos and agreed to pay."

"Why have we never performed there before? I feel like we hit every place in San Fran." Vicky questioned, not taking her focus off of Carrie's intricate fish tale braid for a second. "Yeah me too, I guess we just overlooked this one." I shrug and go to mine and Leyah's joint closet to pick out an outfit my 'do-over' date with J-Hope. We're supposed to be going to dinner and then to his close friend's art exhibit/auction downtown

I was pleasantly surprised to hear that J-Hope was an art lover like myself and that we had something else to bond over. Of course we both had an appreciation seeing as we both love photography, but the topic of French art in particular tickles my fancy and J-Hope's friend just happened to be a French artist.

"Going somewhere, Char?" Leyah asks from behind me. I've been found out.

"Yeah...J-Hope and I are going out tonight. Don't wait up for me." She laughs.

"Three nights in a row...Someone's infatuated." She drawls in her low register. I visibly cringe at the use of the world. "If that's the word you wanna use." I whisper, suddenly disinterested in the conversation. "Oh, yeah. No, that's definitely the word I want to use." She laughs at my discomfort, as per usual and the girls join her. I just roll my eyes and continue my search. "Let me help you." She offers and joins me at the wardrobe. That's what I loved about my best friend. If you fell, she would definitely laugh at you, but she would always be there to help you up in the end. "Where you going anyway?" She asks looking through her clothes as well.

"I actually didn't ask. He just said we would get something to eat and then go to his friend's art exhibit to support, but I was all for it when I heard the words 'French' and 'art' in the same sentence." I share, getting excited about the whole thing once again.

"So, hella fancy." Leyah nods, searching faster, seemingly knowing what to look for now.

"I don't know about hella fancy, but a good amount of 'I'm here because I give a fuck' you know?"

"Totally. Here we go...Wait 'til lover boy sees you in this." Leyah pulls out a short sleeveless, black top that would expose my mid-section and a long, black pencil skirt covered in detailed rose patterned lace.

"Oh, Leyah. This is perfect! Where were you hiding this!?" I take the items and hold them to my chest in elation. She just shrugs. "I never have any reason to dress up anyway, maybe I was saving it for this moment." She winks at me quickly before making her way back to her bed. I just smile to myself before finding a pair of black leather heels to pair it with. This act makes me feel more confident about tonight in that things might actually be successful this time.

That's right. Jay is gonna take me out and we're gonna have fun and we're gonna laugh and he's gonna take me home and we're gonna do it all over again.

I chant this in my head over and over again to rid myself of the paranoia that surrounds me twenty-four seven about the whole dating ordeal. I shake the thoughts away as I hop onto my bed and reach for my phone to inform our fans of our performance tomorrow, attaching one of my favorite photos from the shoot yesterday. After uploading the photos and the jam session to our social media and switching out our profile pictures, we've actually gained lots of followers on different platforms. We even got a couple dm's from wannabe producers looking to work with us. Who knew a few professional pictures could make such a difference. Around 6:30 I get off my ass and start doing my make-up, I decide to go for a dark, bold and smokey look with a red lip to match the look Leyah let me borrow. J-Hope texts me he's waiting for me in the lobby at 7:32 so I say goodbye to the girls, who were nice enough to wish me good luck, and head down to meet him.

He's sitting in the lounge area near the front entrance when I first see him. He's in a fitted, silvery-grey suit and a spotless white dress shirt. God this guy looks gorgeous in anything.

"Jay!" I greet as I get closer to him. He looks up, a huge smile splitting across his face as he got up to greet me properly. His eyes rake up and down my body as we get closer. "Wow, you look...incredible, Charlotte." He says, openly checking me out and pecking me on the lips, not that I minded, but I will never get used to that.

"Thank you! I love the suit." I respond as his arm wraps around my bare waist, sending shivers up my spine. "Thanks, I wore it just for you." He looks to me with a smug smirk and my insides get flooded with heat and butterflies at the sight.

This. Will. Go. Well.

"So, where are we going?" I ask as we get into the car. "Oh, this neat place near the exhibit called Michael Mina. I figured French food before we look at some French art would be perfect, wouldn't you agree?" He glances over at me.

"I can get behind that." I can't help myself as I grab my phone out of my clutch and Google this restaurant. Five stars. Of course.

The restaurant had a very futuristic feel to it and the decor consisted of several shades of tans and browns and the place was packed. We sit at a table along the wall and the conversation flows between us as usual.

"Have you always wanted to be a photographer?" I ask before stuffing a piece of lobster in my mouth. "Oh. Yeah-well, since freshman year of high school. Before that, I had been taking pictures from the moment my mom put a camera in my hands when I was four." He laughs to himself as if remembering something he found funny. "I used to try to recreate my favorite movie scenes with my friends and capture those."

"Oh, I gotta see that." I laugh shameless, bringing my drink to my lips.

"Yeahhhhh, no way in hell. Anyway, did you always want to be a musician?" He asks, giving me his undivided attention.

"Oh...No...But I always admired them and then one day...I picked up a guitar and keyboard." I sigh, trying not to think so much about that day in particular, but I offer the information anyway because I want J-Hope to know this 'relationship' is two sided, whatever that relationship may be at this point.

"As a child you mean?"

"No... Recently... A few years ago actually."

"Wow... That's impressive. The way you play seems like you've been doing it for much longer." He smiles sweetly. I had a hardass teacher.

"Thanks." I return the expression. "Of course. So, did you play sports in school?" He keeps the conversation flowing so well.

"I played volleyball in high school. It's my favorite sport." I say smiling brightly at those memories. "I can totally see that...Specifically you in compression shorts running around a court." J-Hope's gaze narrows and focuses in me with a menacing smirk. Goddamn those lips.

I reach over the table to swat his arm. "You are on thin ice, Jay." I say threatenly while running my foot up his leg gently.

His jaw drops the slightest bit and he runs his tongue over his front teeth before he gathers himself and responds briefly. "I'm counting on it Charlotte." Before winking and eating his food once again.

Well, it's good to know he's a flirty, hornball just like me.

"What about you? Ever play sports in school?"

"Oh no, I can't even finish a game of badminton." He detests, causing us to giggle profusely. "What kind of student were you?" He questions.

"Eh, kept to myself, bit of a loner. Marks weren't so great either." I answer easily, J-Hope nods understandingly. "Me too." he replies. I raise one eyebrow at him. "I don't believe that. You're so smart." He smiles shyly. "Thanks, Charlotte. So are you." I nod in thanks, not really believing the compliment, but accepting it nonetheless.

"So what kind of kid were you?" He asks suddenly.

"So many questions."

"I'm a curious guy." He shrugs.

"... A pain in the ass." J-Hope nearly chokes on his drink from laughing.

"I'll bet. You and your friends get into a lot of trouble?" He assumes.

I shake my head, looking down at my food. "... I didn't have many friends, still don't. It was mostly just me and my cousin. Maeve. We were always together." I huff out a bitter laugh.

"Do you still talk?" He inquires, hopefully.

"No...No." I say sorely, thinking about my old best friend and all the adventures we shared before we were separated.

Immediately trying to lighten the mood, like the ball of sunshine he is, he asks "So... What's the last thing you Googled?"

"Where the leftover poop in your butt goes after you're done." I answer seriously and possibly a little too fast. We share a look before bursting out in the biggest fit of laughter we have yet, attracting nearly every eye in our section, but not exactly acknowledging them.

And his reply "... Did you get an answer?" sends us into another bout of extreme giggles that certainly attracts even more eyes, but this time the only thing J-Hope and can I see is each other.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Walking into the exhibit, I am once again struck with wonder in why J-Hope chose me to keep taking to these places. I've never been to an art exhibit or auction before, but I'm definitely deeming this one of the more fancy ones. There were way more people here than I thought there would be at a just starting artist's exhibit, there had to be around seventy people in the vicinity. There were massive canvases with detailed depictions that I couldn't wait to analyze on every wall. There were bouquets of various flower arrangements in every corner of the large room, several chandeliers on the ceiling and servers handing out hors d'oeuvres to guests. J-Hope's hand gives my waist a gentle squeeze, getting my attention as I let out a tiny squeal.

"You alright there?" He looks me over before stopping to look into my eye, waiting for my response. "What? Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit overwhelmed is all." I say gesturing to our surroundings. I'm not accustomed to this shit like you are.

"Everything looks so beautiful."

"Ha, yeah. I was expecting something like this, Abolsan's always been one for flare."

"I thought you said he was just making his start."

"Oh, well...He comes from money so..." He shrugs. Well that makes more sense. I knew his friends were rich.

We approach the first piece and I'm confused about the meaning behind it but the bold yet dark colors paired with rough, obviously layered strokes still held all my attention and forced me to come up with my own backstory for it. In my mind this is what art, in every form, is supposed to do. Stimulate you and your creative side to think freely. It's got my vote, I'm impressed. 'Mama' is the title of the piece.

Me too, Abolsan, me too.

Most of the other pieces had a similar effect on me, in that it captured me and was impressive as fuck for someone my age. J-Hope was very animated and giddy about the art himself and I was pleasantly surprised we had similar tastes and ideas for how the paintings translated and touched us.

We approach a piece that looks incredibly familiar. Too familiar. I can feel my hands start to sweat immediately and my heart rate increases ten-fold as I remember the first time I saw this painting.

FLASHBACK // 2 and half years ago

I walk the streets of downtown, L.A., fingers laced tightly with my boyfriend, Yoongi, on our way to the music shop to get a guitar for me. He had been giving me lessons on his own guitar and keyboard for so long, he figured it made sense to get me one as well and he was generous enough to buy it for me. On one of the busier streets we passed through, there was a young man around my age selling art on the curb. "Yoongi, wait." I pull on his hand as he continues to walk by the paintings, but he finally stops, sighing impatiently and looks at his wrist watch.

"Char, the shop closes soon, we gotta hurry if we wanna get that guitar you were looking at." He chimes softly in my ear, using his persuasive powers to get me to move along. I ignore his usually hypnotizing actions for the first time because of how taken I was with the painting in front of me. It contained none of my favorite colors, it actually contained my least favorite color: yellow. But the way that bright yellow basically melted into the soft red and blue that surrounded it, captured me in a way no work of art ever had. The way the colors almost wrestled for dominance, but came back together in harmony in a style that resembled Van Gogh's Starry Night, completely enchanted me.

"Hello Miss." The boy greeted me brightly with an accent I couldn't place. He had tanned skin, beautiful pale green eyes and cropped, black curly hair. "Hi!" I replied, being broken out of my trance. "Did you paint these?" I gesture to the paintings on the ground and he nods excitedly.

"You are...so talented." I say with wide eyes, still quite blown away. "Pfft." Yoongi openly scoffs and looks away with a humorless laugh.

Well someone's jealous.

"Thank you so much! I'm selling this one for $150.00" He points to the painting I was gawking at.

That's a little steep for a painting in my position and I don't want to ask Yoongi for it, that's too much.

"Oh...Okay." I say defeated. "Char, I'm sorry, but we gotta go and I'm not carrying the guitar and that thing all the way back to the apartment." Yoongi says, squeezing my hand gently. I nod understandingly and start moving along. "I'm sorry." I say to the artist. "They're beautiful!" I say over my shoulder while we make our way to the music shop and he just smiles and nods sadly.

The following week consists of our usual activites, Yoongi and I fooling around during the day, him teaching me how to play my new guitar and him going out to 'work' at night. But today was different as I wake up to an empty bed, but Yoongi is usually back by morning. When he doesn't answer my first three texts I figure he was in the middle of a job and give up to practice my guitar. About an hour later I see Yoongi enter the apartment with an excited gummy smile on his face. I barely ever get to see this glorious sight so I immediately return the gesture, but am still a little suspicious.

"Babe, what's goin' on? Everything alright?" I put the guitar aside and make my way over to him to question him. "Everything is great, just stay right there, I have a surprise for you."

This is new.

"Oh! Okay!" I stay in my spot in the middle of our shitty apartment facing away from the bed. "Close your eyes." He orders before leaving the apartment again, I comply, the gears turning in my head. "Is this a sex thing?" I question, completely fine with that idea.

"No Char." He says exhaustedly, making me laugh.

"...Do you want it to be?" He suddenly asks, full of life again. I shrug my shoulders. "I wouldn't complain." I hear him chuckle as he retrieves something from the hallway

Okay. It's big.

He makes his way passed me to the bed, he seems to be setting something up on it.

I knew it was a sex thing.

"Okay baby, turn around." I hear him say from the bed. "Now open your eyes." I open my eyes to reveal the breathtaking painting from last week, now surrounded by a frame just as beautiful, balancing on the headboard against the wall behind it. My hands fly up to cover my mouth instinctively as my eyes fall on Yoongi, who's sat at the foot of the bed with his signature satisfied smirk through tear filled eyes. His smirk transforms back to that beautiful gummy grin full of perfect teeth creating those incredibly cute crinkles around his eyes and turning them into near slits beneath his bleach blonde hair. I wanted to remember him exactly like this forever; happy. Happy with me.

I rush over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and sinking into his lap. His arms wrap around me tightly as I pull him into a passionate kiss, which Yoongi returns greedily. I pull away to rest my forehead against his as he continues to nip at my mouth.

"Thank you so much." I say through the assault on my lips. "You're welcome baby. I love you." Yoongi somehow gets out through the ravishing, my body flooding with heat at the words that always managed to drive me insane. "Oh, I love you so much." I reply.

He lays back on the bed bringing me with him so that I'm straddling his body. I feel and hear the painting wobble slightly as the headboard shifts with us. I look up at it to check on it, but Yoongi pays it no mind as his assault on my mouth has moved to my neck. "Yoongi, maybe we should move the painting first." I say breathlessly, already giving into his actions.

"The painting is fine. Now take your clothes off." He orders against my skin. I chuckle and believe him, just as I do with everything else that comes out of his dangerous mouth and follow his directions.

End of Flashback

I break out of my trance as a chill runs up my spine, the product of Jay squeezing my bare waist once again and resting his other hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

"Oh, yes." I literally shake my head free of the thoughts. He pulls me further into his side and brushes my cheek with the back of his hand, collecting a stray tear. "Are you sure?" He asks gingerly. Oh my fucking God, not this again.

I nod frantically and search my purse for a tissue. "Yeah, I just need to find a bathroom." Jay nods and asks a nearby server where the bathrooms were and leads me there swiftly. "I'll be right outside." He relays to me as I enter, I nod and continue on.

How the fuck did I get so blessed with this man?

Once inside, I immediately rush to the huge mirror and attempt to salvage my make-up in public for the second time in twenty-four hours.

Maybe I shouldn't actually be doing this. Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't be here with Hoseok or anybody. This is what feelings do, they complicate and they only hurt.

Not when we're with Hoseok.

True.

"Ugh!" I groan as I touch up my make-up and take a few deep breaths before I exit the bathroom to find Jay just where I left him. What a fucking saint putting up with my shit like this.

"Are you okay?" He asks, expressing true concern. I sigh before responding. "Yeah it's just...I just loved that painting so much." I look down concentrating on not going back to that day, but I can't stop thinking about how the painting down the hall was just as breathtaking as the original. "Oh!" J-Hope breathes relieved and excited. "Well, I'm glad your enjoying everything."

"I really am." I answer truthfully and I just smile and nod with newfound energy gifted to me by J-Hope's happy disposition. We make our way through the rest of the exhibit and we end up back at the painting, which I can now see is fittingly named 'Her'. I huff out a bitter laugh before I notice J-Hope pick up a pen and write his name and a number next to it on the bidding sheet in front of the painting.

"What are you doing?" I spit at him without meaning to. Jay jerks back at my tone. "Well I was going to buy it for you." He said in an obvious, but playful tone.

"Don't." I spat once more with hard eyes, feeling incredibly uncomfortable in this position.

"Uh-well, I thought you liked it." He stammered, completely confused.

"I do, it's beautiful, but...That's okay, I don't need it." I rush out, pleading with him not to buy this beautiful monstrosity.

"Look, if you're worried about the price, I-"

"That's not what I'm worried about!" I almost scream, alarming J-Hope and some surrounding guests, my hands starting to shake at my sides.

"I'm sorry." I say breathing deeply a few times, probably looking like a crazy person. "Thank you so much for the offer Jay, but I don't need it...and I have nowhere to put it anyways." I shrug while bringing my arms up to wrap around his neck and step closer to him.

Maybe I can distract him with my charms.

He accepts my gesture, searching my eyes and wrapping his arms around my waist in return; he knows something is wrong.

Smart motherfucker.

"Okay." He pecks my lips quickly. "Okay." He repeats before going to scratch his name and bid off of the sheet. "Thank you." I whisper before I hear the voice of another approaching.

"Changed your mind, Hoseok?"

Am I the only one who doesn't call him that?!

A handsome man, taller than both Ja-Hoseok and I with the same olive skin, black curls and wide pretty green eyes from two and half years ago approaches us with an inviting smile in a dashing black suit and tie. The artist who sold this original painting to Yoongi.

He matured quite nicely.

"Abolsan!" J-Hoseok let's go of me to engulf the artist in a bear hug, which Abolsan happily returns.

"It's so good to see you again! This is my date Charlotte." Hoseok introduces us.

I don't even think I'm saying that right in my head.

"Just call me Char." I correct him as Abolsan and I shake hands.

"Uh huh." Abolsan seems to be lost in thought as he shakes my hand for much longer than is necessary, his eyes fixed on my face and raking up and down my body. Okay.

Hoseok is clearly losing patience and clears his throat loudly to get his friends attention.

That's cute, we love a jealous queen.

Abolsan visibly flinches at the sound and refocuses his eyes on my face, letting my hand go as if he's being woken up from a dream. "Huh? I'm sorry! It's just...You look so familiar." He squints his eyes and shakes his head slowly.

"Really? Well, I've been told I just have one of those faces." I laugh while trying to send Abolsan a message with my eyes not to say anything else. He seemed to get it.

He blinked in understanding and smiled once more, though this time it seemed forced. "Well, it's really nice to to meet you Char. Welcome to my exhibit. Feel free to browse my other pieces if this one doesn't exactly speak to you Hoseok." Abolsan added in good humor.

Great, he just saw that entire exchange.

"Oh, ha, yeah. Just isn't my style I guess." Hoseok lied smoothly. I really feel bad for burning his painting now. He's such a nice guy.

"That's okay, I'm just glad you could make it." The two catch up as I watch, kept here by Hoseok's grip on my waist, not that I wanted to be anywhere else right now. Abolsan kept stealing glances my way while Hoseok talked, which I think gave Hoseok the wrong idea as he kept pulling me closer to himself and stroking my arm. I helplessly look to the floor as a wide smile breaks out on my face. If only he knew.

"Well, you take care of yourself Hoseok, I hope to see you around. It was nice meeting you Char." Abolsan cheered, giving us both half hugs.

"You too."

"See you Abolsan." Hoseok and I leave without bidding on a single painting and once again I feel like shit after another date.

"I'm sorry I even managed to fuck up the do-over." I say as we drive towards the hotel.

Hoseok's head snaps in my direction and the back at the road. He huffs out a laugh and reaches for my hand in my lap and rubs his thumb over it.

"You didn't fuck up anything, not on this date or the last one. You just...know what you want. I like that in a woman." He laughs and I join him. Pulling up to the hotel, Hoseok somehow manages to walk around the other side to open my door before I can and walks me to the entrance. He stops me by reaching for my waist, bringing me closer to him.

I don't argue, in fact I bring my arms to wrap around his neck and play with the hairs on the nape of his neck. I feel he might be avoiding holding my hand in public because of what happened the last time he did that and I can't help, but appreciate him more.

"Do you wanna do this again later this week?" He says suddenly, glancing at my lips from time to time.

"This? No." I say gesturing to nothing in particular, but referencing the mini disaster that was the art exhibit. "But dinner again, maybe a nice movie, sure, I would love to." We both laugh and finally get to share another searing kiss that leaves me wanting more as soon as it begins. We share lingering pecks, enjoying the close proximity of each other until I force myself to pull away. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Hoseok breaks into a big smile that barely allowed me to see his irises. "It's okay Charlotte, I forgive you." Why?

"I'll call you. See you soon." Hoseok walks back to his car. "Bye Jay." I say, still self-conscious about how many ways I could fuck his name up.

I take the elevator up and collapse on my bed immediately upon entering the room without getting undressed or greeting any of the girls. It's then that I realize the girls aren't even here and the room is empty.

"Where is everyone?"

#j-hope fanfic #suga fanfic #junghoseok #minyoongi #bts #btsfanficiton #ambw #kpop #humour #sugardaddyj-hope

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