#look at this dumb sexy deer man

[kalico-of-doom]

Anybody else fighting for your life against art block? I think I finally pushed through it after weeks, but man. That was rough. I finished a sketch sitting in my wips forever to celebrate 🥳

[taetaespeaches]

“When the hell did I do this?”

jungkook x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.3K

a/n: Hi lovelies! Here’s just a dumb little thing about Jungkook discovering he left a few ‘marks’ on Holly’s neck. He helps to cover them but not without being flirty and annoying. Also this features references to “I don’t actually dream of sexy vampires” which is shockingly still stupider than this current fic lmao. It’s not necessary to read that other fic to read this one but I hope for those of you who have read it, it’s a fun little callback. Anyways! Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoy :))

p.s. Happy birthday, @holdinbacksecrets​! Here’s some dream boy for you. I love you so much, pal. I hope you enjoy! 🧡

The moment Jungkook walked into the bathroom and appeared in the mirror behind you, you sighed harshly and shot his reflection a glare. “What?” He asked, his eyes wide in confusion.

“You’re a menace,” you accused, ignoring how cute he looked with those damn doe eyes.

“What did I do?”

Pulling aside the neck of your t-shirt, you waited for him to see the red mark seared onto the skin of your collarbone. You watched as he pulled his eyebrows together, scrutinizing the small blemish in the mirror, having to walk closer to you to figure out what it was that you were showing him. His eyes finally popped open even bigger, a true deer in the headlights, as he bit back a smile while his gaze bounced between yours and the hickey.

“Menace,” you again scolded, grabbing the liquid foundation as a giggle escaped his lips. Guiltily, Jungkook wrapped his arms around you from behind, nudging the side of your jaw with his nose.

“I’m sorry,” he smiled, peering up at you through the mirror. “In my defense-”

“Don’t.”

“You did enjoy it!”

“I can’t go out like this!”

“But you did,” he defended himself further.

“That’s besides the point,” you whined, glaring at him in the mirror. “Dude, look,” you extended your neck and pointed to the side of it.

“Holy shit,” he giggled, his eyes popping wide open as he ran his thumb over a second red mark. In protest of his amusement, you nudged him in the abdomen with your elbow as you bit back a grin of your own. “You know, I have a solution for this.”

“Don’t tell me to not go-”

“You could just not go out,” he spoke over you with a bratty smile planted on his pretty face. You had planned a night out with friends, and knowing those girls they would never let you live down having not one but two hickeys on your goddamn neck. You could practically hear their vampire comments now, especially after Jimin and his girlfriend caught you and Jungkook all sparkly following your post-photobook Twilight joke. The girl had of course told Yoongi and Taehyung’s girlfriend, and you refused to give those two more ammo.

“Jungkook,” you whined, trying to push him away from you, only for the man to tighten his arms around you.

“Wait, wait, ok, let me help. Ok? I can fix this,” he informed you, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Look at me, baby. I’m the golden maknae,” he boasted proudly. “I can do anything, I got you.”

Turning around and shooting him a skeptical glance, you stared into his bambi eyes that would have looked innocent enough if you had been naive to his innate mischievous nature. Sighing, you handed over the makeup. “I don’t trust you,” you remarked, earning a wide victorious smile from Jungkook.

“Yeah, yeah, sit here and let me get to work,” he directed you, helping to lift yourself onto the counter. Planting himself between the v of your legs, he shook the foundation bottle. “I got you, baby.”

It had been several minutes since the man got to work, and you were honestly having too much fun watching his round eyes focus on the job as he repeated the dabbing motion of the makeup blender against your neck. Lost in the task, he mindlessly hummed the post-chorus of Beyonce’s Cuff It, repeatedly.

Holding back a smile, you ran a hand through his fringe, breaking his focus on your neck so his gaze met yours. “Cause I feel like falling in love,” you quietly sang, grinning when a smile cracked his stern expression, followed by a deep sigh. “How’s it going?”

When he huffed in frustration, you giggled at his expense, and well, your own expense. “Why is makeup so hard?” He groaned. Golden maknae, my ass, you thought as Jungkook stepped back and looked at his work with a frown line etched between his eyebrows. “I think this one is done though.”

“This would not be an issue,” you started, Jungkook already trying to shush you by pushing a finger against your lips. Dodging his hand, you continued, “if you could control your-”

“You liked it,” he said again, cutting you off as he enunciated the words deliberately.

“I have that song stuck in my head now,” you whined teasingly, changing the subject and making Jungkook smile cutely at you. “We gon’ fuck up the night,” you sang, Jungkook doing a little shoulder dance in response to you. “Bet you you’ll see far, bet you you’ll see stars, bet you you’ll ele-” you continued until Jungkook cut you off by kissing you suddenly, his lips gentle but needy. When he opened his mouth against yours, a soft moan escaped from your throat, making a smile curve on Jungkook’s lips.

You threaded your fingers through the strands of hair at the back of his head and tugged in a teasing manner, triggering Jungkook to trail his lips down to your jaw. His touches went lower down your neck where he nipped at the skin lightly. It was then that you realized what he was doing, gasping and shoving him off of you, only for him to look up at you with a bratty grin.

“You’re an absolute pest,” you complained through a giggle, smiling at his teasing. “Knock it off,” you whined, Jungkook laughing in amusement at his own action.  

“I’m practically a pro at this,” he stared at your collarbone.

“That does not mean you should leave more,” you giggled, shoving at his shoulder as he smiled.

“Now granted, it’s not totally invisible but…” he trailed off, cocking his head to the side as he inspected his work. “If the room is dark.”

Rolling your eyes, you hopped off the counter and turned to look at the mark in the mirror. Surprisingly, it did seem to be mostly covered, only visible if someone was really gawking at you. Jungkook stepped behind you once again, his hands dragging down your forearms that hung by your sides. His fingers traced the bones of your wrists before they slid over your palms and interlaced with your own fingers, holding your hands by your hips. He slotted his chin over your shoulder, his doe eyes staring at your reflections.

“I did good, right?” He asked, seeking praise for a job well done.

“Shockingly,” you joked with a small smile. “Just one more to go.”

Groaning, he spun you around so you faced him yet again, abandoning your reflection so you could appreciate each other’s images in the flesh. He dropped your hands, allowing you to settle them on his shoulders as he placed his palms to the sides of your waist.

Dipping his head, he planted kisses down your throat once again, making you smile as you pretended to protest his affection. “Jungkook,” you warned while he chuckled into his soft pecks, the vibrations from your voice and his laughter meeting on his lips in gleeful love-filled buzz. “I swear to god if you leave a single mark.”

“I won’t,” he whispered against your skin, his teeth barely nudging against you as he smiled. Lifting one hand between you, he dragged down the neck of the baggy shirt you wore with one finger, revealing more and more of your chest. His lips trailed after the digit, leaving soft sweet kisses to your warm skin. Pulling away from you for a moment, he gazed at the newly exposed flesh until his eyes popped wide open, his jaw dropping slightly.

“What the-” he started, dropping off as he stared at you. Pulling your chin towards your chest, you peered down at yourself just as Jungkook let out a breathy chuckle mixed with a scoff. “When the hell did I do this?” He asked, a hint of a smile appearing on his mouth as he gawked at the red mark on the top of your breast, just to the left of your sternum.

Gasping in realization, you turned toward the mirror yet again and examined the mark in disbelief. “Fucking hell, Jungkook, my dress has a scoop neck.” Watching you cluelessly in the mirror, he waited for you to elaborate on what exactly that meant. “This is gonna show,” you bit back a smile, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of amusing you. “This affects you too, those girls are relentless.”

Sighing, he ducked his head toward the floor for a moment before grabbing the makeup off the counter. “Alright,” he exhaled, spinning you toward him once more. “Let’s get it.”

[jadekitty777]

The Emotionalist: Chapter 1

Hi, did you think Deer!Clover was over? 

In this house, Deer!Clover is never over.

(Thanks Scath so much for helping me with the title on this!)

Prompt for Day 2: First Meeting

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.2K

Summary: Clover Ebi was a huntsman who, like most Atlesian soldiers, hid most of his emotions behind a mask of calm professionalism. That is, unless, one knew where to look. And Qrow looked a lot.

Or, 5 times Qrow learned to read Clover's mood not from his face, but from his ears. [An adjacent story to Hunting Season Hunting Season; events from Qrow's POV]

Ao3 Link: Unexpected like a Gift

~

“Every single person on this planet deserves to be treated with dignity, no matter where they come from or what their ancestry is or even what semblance they are born with.”

Those were the words of a very wise man who once held a renowned and esteemed position in Remnant. A man who once hoped so much of the world he resided over, that he believed his words would influence and inspire the many around him to do good and be good.

That being said, if Ozpin had a grave to roll around in, he certainly would have been if he could see Qrow right this moment, walking five paces back and one to the side so that he was exactly in line with Clover Ebi’s backside.

The only slight positive? His eyes weren’t as far south as many might assume.

The trade off? He really, really shouldn’t be staring at a Faunus’ ears so intently. It was probably (read: definitely) rude at best and maybe (absolutely) objectifying at worst.

But he just… couldn’t help it.

Qrow wasn’t dumb. He knew when he was attracted to someone - and Clover was kind of the whole package. Handsome, strong, with striking wavy chestnut brown hair, had a great smile and a voice so smooth it would make a blues singer jealous. But then all that sex appeal was juxtaposed by those overly large, rhombus-shaped deer ears that, ridiculously, made him more alluring. Because they made Clover, on top of everything else, cute. Like they held the key to eternal youth, perpetually keeping a boyish look about him. 

With the way they stood out, it was impossible not to notice them. The backs of the ears were just a few shades lighter than Clover’s hair, the slight tans giving it an almost caramel coloration. But the inner part had linings of white fluffy tufts that screamed ‘touch me I’m soft’. And how Qrow wanted to.

Could the Gods really blame him if he did? Adorable and sexy was a dangerous combination and Qrow was but a mere mortal. 

Those ears were also just so oddly fascinating. It seemed Clover had full control over them - a rarity among Faunus with ear traits - able to move them almost in full rotations. In the short time he’d known the other, he’d already seen him angle them up, drop them down, pull them back and even move the two individually from one another.

Even now, they were constantly in movement, angled slightly upward so Clover could rhythmically move them back and forth, almost like a pendulum. Qrow couldn’t stop watching it, as if hypnotized.

The spell broke when they shot straight up.

Then Clover was reaching for his weapon and barking, “Qrow, down!”

It was only decades of instinct and training that had him diving to the floor, Kingfisher’s deadly spear-end swinging scant centimeters above his falling form and plunging straight into the cranium of an emerging Centinel. It gave a chittering cry before bursting into smoke.

Qrow stared at the empty hole left behind in shock.

Clover gave a sigh of relief, drawing back his weapon. “Good reflexes. You alright?” He asked as he offered his hand.

Numbly, Qrow took it, allowing himself to be hauled up. As he caught his footing again, he blurted out, “Did you hear it?”

It was the wrong thing to say, because Clover’s eyes widened marginally, before his ears dropped low. “Yeah. Course I did.” He turned, striding back down the hall, calling without looking back, “Come on, we need to get moving.”

Great going idiot, you made it awkward. Qrow quickened his pace to instead walk next to the other huntsman, wracking his brain desperately on how to save the situation. Change the subject!

“Gotta say, I’m uh,” He started awkwardly as they turned down into a wider tunnel, floundering for something, anything. “Not used to working with other huntsmen on the field…”

Maybe it was just his imagination, but he swore Clover’s left ear perked up ever so slightly, as if giving him his attention. “Really now? I figured people would be falling all over themselves to work with one of the best.”

Something about the way that was said fired off all sorts of warning bells in Qrow’s head, so he was careful as he replied, “Let’s just say my semblance doesn’t make that the easiest thing to do.”

“Hm. What is it?” The question was almost dismissive, like the other was expecting to be fed a line of bullshit.

That was about when Qrow’s mind decided to do something useful and actually work beyond the rampant attraction to figure out what was actually going on.

It was no secret that even in the Hunters Guild, Faunus weren’t well received.   They were often overlooked for high paying gigs and when they did work one, it often didn’t get the news coverage a human huntsman would get. In some districts, it was so bad that mission reports were often outlined with a “No Faunus” requirement and many fellow guild members outright refused to work alongside them on joint missions - or if they did, it was often begrudgingly.

Qrow allowed himself two seconds to feel indignant for being profiled - before quickly letting it go. 

Because he was part of the problem, wasn’t he?

As a huntsman, he had a responsibility that far extended past simply: Kill Grimm, Get lien. With all his prestige and fame, he could easily make headlines by doing missions with some Faunus hunters that wouldn’t be overlooked by the networks. Get the other hunters thinking that ‘if The Great Qrow Branwen will work with Faunus, maybe I should too’.

Ugh. As Tai would say, he needed to set an example.

But he didn’t do that.

He couldn’t do that.

It didn’t erase the fact it gave him a bad look, however unintentional.

So maybe it was all that, that had him admitting something he never intended to, if only because he so desperately wanted Clover to understand him.

Or maybe just have a better reason to hate him that didn’t make him feel like the dregs of the earth.

“It’s… misfortune. I bring bad luck to those around me, whether I want to or not.”

The way Clover’s ears shot up made him tense, almost expecting another order to duck. But when the other only looked at him, nothing given away on that calm and composed face, Qrow realized it wasn’t alarm this time, but surprise. “Does the general know this?”

“Uh. Yeah?” He replied hesitantly. Then, more suspiciously, “Why?”

Clover blinked, then looked away, his stare calculating when he finally said, “Oh nothing, just something he said this morning makes a lot more sense now.” 

Then, slowly, his ears came back down. 

Relaxing. Qrow corrected. Suddenly, he could breathe again.

What happened next blindsighted him entirely.

“Well, don’t worry too much about it.” Clover shot him a grin and a wink. “Let’s just say, you’ve got a very lucky partner.”

So taken aback by the very obvious and sudden flirting, Qrow tripped on his own feet. He yelped as he plummeted head first towards the ice - only to be caught and pulled back up by strong hands. His heart was racing so fast, he was pretty sure his chest was about to implode.

“Whoa now, watch your step.” And Clover was laughing, the absolute bastard. 

It wouldn’t be until the end of the mission that he would find out how literal the other man had been about the lucky part.

Somehow, Qrow couldn’t find it in him to even be that upset about it.

[vannybarber]

Caught Ya !

Summary: You walk in on Chris jerking off to you, so you help him finish off.

Chris Evans x Reader

18+

Warnings: masturbation, fingering, vulgar language, cum play, the gif does not help the situation at all ✋🏽.

You were currently walking through Chris' house, trying to find him because he promised he would watch Knives Out with you. He skipped the premiere due to his anxiety, but you talked him into seeing his effortless masterpiece.

Turning down a hall, you hear heavy breaths. Your first thought is this motherfucker is disgusting. Having a piece of meat over when he swore to watch the movie with you. As you grow closer, you hear him breathing, but no one else. So he's masturbating, you think.

You turn a corner and his bathroom door is completely open. Pushing your neck further out, there he is, completely naked, fisting his cock in his huge hands in front of his mirror. No lie, it was a scene. You can't deny Chris is fine as fuck. And that ass, whew. That's more than America's ass. That's the universe's ass right there.

You should feel ashamed for watching, but you can't tear your eyes away. He continues to moan and pump his thick shaft. You notice his phone in his hand and your mind goes to porn. He loves porn. You guys have watched it together a few times to make fun of the dumb plots and shitty acting.

"Fucking shit Y/N." At first you thought he caught you, but he's still looking at the screen and jerking off. Realization hits and you discover he's masturbating to you.

"Why do you have to be so gotdamn sexy? Man, the things I'd do to you." With every word, he thrusts harder into his hand.

It's a complete shock, but very much an honor. He thinks you're sexy and definitely wants you. Make sense because you're the greatest thing to grace his eyes and that's just a fact. You knew this.

"Gosh, I would fuck you so good. So damn good." At this point, you're a mess in your pants and you wanted to go in there and just throw yourself at him. And that's exactly what you do.

Walking towards the bathroom door, Chris hears you and swivels his head in your direction, caught like a deer in headlights. You smile as you enter the bathroom.

"So you would fuck me good, huh?" You grin at him and step in front of him.

"How long have you been standing there?!" He sets his phone down on the sink counter and moves to cover up, but you stop him.

"For a while actually. I'm honored that you find me sexy." You give him a sly smirk and pick up his phone. You see the screen and it's a picture of you at the beach, ass on full display. You love that picture.

"Well you are an ass man." You look down at his cock. "A very blessed ass man, might I add."

"Let's just forget this happened. This is so embarrassing." He steps back, but you grab his forearm, halting his movements.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Chris. Go ahead and finish." He looks at you skeptical but also a little taken aback. "I'll help you, c'mon."

You shut the door slowly and move back in front of him.

"If you wanted me all you had to do was say so." You take your time and remove your shirt. You had no bra, so you got naked quickly. "I would have gladly pleased you in anyway you like."

He hand slowly travels back onto his cock and he runs his thumb over the top of his shaft. After confirmation, you turn your back to him and unbutton your pants, dragging them down and revealing your dark panties, all while maintaining eye contact. He breaks it and scans over your ass, moving his hand faster on himself.

"Looks way better than that picture doesn't it?" You wiggle your ass a little for him. He hums in agreement. You latch your panties on your fingers and slide them down bending over to the floor and stepping out of them.

"Fuck you, Y/N."

"Soon baby. Don't worry."

You turn around and rub your hands down his biceps and onto his chest and stomach. He's visibly sweating and you smile proudly that you were the reason. You hop on the counter and spread your legs open wide for his view.

"I just wanna help you out, babe. Make you cum faster." You drag your fingers through your folds and down to your hole, sopping up your arousal and rubbing it all over your bare pussy.

"See what you do to me, Chris? This is all for you." Sticking two fingers inside, you pump your tight core and brush up against your g-spot. Throwing your head back, you moan a low 'fuck' and bring your head up.

After a few seconds, you pull them out and hold your arm out for him. He takes your fingers in his mouth and sucks them dry.

Your nipples are rock solid and your pussy is throbbing so much, you swear it was audible to the both of you.

"You taste so good, baby."

"You can get a real taste if you cum for me." His pumps are getting faster and you know he's colse. Squeezing your boobs, you rub your clit in tiny circles.

"Cum on my pussy, baby. Then she's all yours." You're saying all the right words that's getting him off. "Your tongue on me would be way better than my little ol' fingers."

"You fucking bitch." You smile at his reaction. You're really fucking him up right now.

"I would fuck you so good, you know that? Take your cock anyway you want me to, anywhere you'd want. I want you inside me, Chris. Please."

Although you were the one in control, it was not a secret that you wanted him. Bad. And you weren't too proud to beg.

"I want your cock shoved down my throat and your fingers buried deep inside me. Let's make it happen, Daddy. I want it so bad. I need it."

"Shit, I'm about to cum." He groans out, clearly frustrated with you. His voice is hoarse and low.

"Cum, Chris. Cum all over my pussy." He follows orders and shoots his load all over your wet pussy. You rub his seed all over and through your folds and bring your fingers up to taste him.

"We taste really good together," you giggle. He rubs up your thighs and observes the mess you've made for him.

"You look like a whore."

"That's because I am one. I'm a whore, slut, cumrag or whatever you want me to be. All for you."

You suck your fingers once more and hop off the sink and grab his arm, leading him out the bathroom.

"Now come fuck me like you want to."

I came up with this yesterday 👀. I love sharing my fantasies with you all 🧡.

masterlist

[fictionplumis]

Part 1

Listen I’m dumb so here’s more of that Ren Faire AU. I will not write an actual fic because my attention span is funky but anyone else can and they can either use this or not use this but here’s how these losers get together in my head. 

So Jaskier already knows he’s got a hard on for Geralt, obviously, he knew that from day one but he didn’t realize it could get WORSE, and it does get WORSE. It’s a couple weeks into Geralt working there and he’s busy so Jaskier doesn’t get to see him that often besides, like... Around the Faire sometimes, when Geralt is checking equipment and things and running errands, so obviously he’s dressed like he belongs at the Faire, which is super attractive and fits Geralt like a dream, plus he’s always kind of sexy and covered in dust or with a smear of grease on his nose from working on something, Jaskier is so down with that. 

Meanwhile Geralt also only sees Jaskier during the Faire and he likes Jaskier, is the thing. Jaskier got him the job, and it’s actually a pretty good job, he likes having a steady income and the work keeps him busy. He doesn’t actually have to deal with people. He also gets to travel. As much he liked fixing the old lady’s sink across the hall every other month (because she was old, and a plumber would take advantage of her, and she doesn’t have a lot of money to begin with, and he’s hardly ever busy and it’s just that the piping is old and keeps coming loose so it’s not even inconvenient) she doesn’t pay him with money, she pays him with overripe papaya and Yen was right, he actually needed a real job. 

He also likes Jaskier because Jaskier is just nice. Jaskier can talk enough for twelve people, so he’s never bothered that Geralt doesn’t have much to say. And he catches on quick to Geralt’s dry humor and snickers at his awful jokes. Geralt’s gruff attitude and perpetually bad mood never seem to dull his so yeah, Jaskier is just a general joy to be around. 

Then one night he can’t sleep so he decides to go wandering around. It’s two AM, the moon is bright, the air is fresh, it’s just NICE out and then he sees Jaskier sitting off at a picnic table and is like, okay, let’s go see what the bard is up to this early in the morning. 

He gets close enough and they both just freeze. Deer in headlights when they see each other. 

Because Jaskier is sitting there in sweatpants and an oversized shirt, eating Taco Bell he had Doordash drop off fifteen minutes ago and writing in a leather journal with a god damn fountain pen that looks like a big feather. Geralt has never seen Jaskier look so human before. He looks vulnerable and young and absolutely beautiful. 

Meanwhile Geralt is wearing an undershirt and jeans that show of his arms and this scar on his shoulder that Jaskier is dying to put his mouth on, and Geralt ALSO looks very human, and real, and not like some 16th century myth of a man, but like someone Jaskier could sit next to and lean against and talk to and maybe even drag this poor man back to the showers and wash out his hair because it had that look to it like Geralt had been sweating all day and hadn’t bothered to rinse it out well. 

They both realize right then and there that they are FUCKED. 

Geralt is like “Couldn’t sleep.” And Jaskier is like, “Need to keep my pop song list updated.”

And it’s awkward until Jaskier invites Geralt to sit down under the pretense of listening to his pop song covers and Geralt obliges but admits that he’s not really a music person, so he’ll probably just say that all of them are fine. And Jaskier’s like, “Cool, I was only going to pretend to take your opinion into consideration anyway, just to be polite.” 

They might make out that night. Who knows. Maybe they just decide that they like each other’s company way more than they thought at first so they keep meeting up like that and THEN make out one night. But they definitely make out one night. 

And after Geralt might end up calling Yennefer in a slight panic because he made out with the bard and fuck, now what, does this mean we’re dating, do I take him on a date, where do you think he would like to go on a date, he makes this little noise when he likes something and it’s great, I want to kiss him more but what if he doesn’t want to kiss more, Yen help. And she laughs and hangs up on his ass. The good thing is while Geralt is gruffly awkward in a way that doesn’t come across as awkward, Jaskier can not only talk for twelve people but also has enough confidence for twelve people, and the next morning he bounds over to kiss Geralt’s cheek and tell him his hair looks like shit and needs a good condition before work.

[i-need-air]

Truthful mess.

Summary: Truth quirk shenanigans. HCs type with Bakugou, Kirishima, Shouto and Shinsou.

Note: Still don't know how to add "Read more" on phone, still need to make a masterlist. At least I have coffee. [I’M DOING BOTH RN, BE PROUD;;;LOOKATTHEReADMORE] Ty for reading! ♥

Bakugou Katsuki:

× well, shit

× he fucked up real bad and now he had to pay for it

× noticed something was wrong when he thanked Kirishima for saving his life instead of giving him the usual snappy attitude

× made the redhead promise to keep the secret or he'll kill him

× seriously kill and incinerate his body and was 100% serious about it

× Bakugou tried his hardest to keep his mouth shut and everything went okay until you just existed in the same room at him

× he'd just get the fuck out because all he wanted to tell you was how good you looked in whatever you were wearing or how beautiful your face was when kissed by the rays of sunshine and he was so confused

× he literally wanted to word vomit all of that

× thankfully the police arresting the mf that did this to him informed Katsuki about the effects of the quirk itself

× approximately 3 days of spilling truths

× he could handle that

× easy

× but not really; the less he talked the more he needed to spill out his mind

× he'd still snap at people, they were just dumb and he voiced that but

× well, hello there, [y/n]

× he prays you don't waltz around him

× life can be a bitch though

× it happened while training, Cementos made an area for each of you to improve your quirks and guess what? you're placed just by his side

× you just waved at him and he ignored you

× asshole much; until you kick-dropped and broke a big piece of cement in half

× "Fuck, that was so sexy..."

× your head turned slowly towards Bakugou because that was his voice, definitely, no doubt

× but it was raspy and low and it did some things to your, ehem, lowers and holy shit

× Bakugou looked like a deer caught in the highlights; he was full "step on me" mode and????????

× instantly turned the other way and yes, he is blushing

× he just couldn't hold it in, man

× so you're confused, blushing, Kirishima is near-by shook as fuck because he's ✨ realizing things ✨ since of course he's now Bakugou's self-proclaimed guard dog

× and Bakugou is back at ignoring you, his friend and the world

× you decide to keep an eye on him because that was not normal and oh my god why is that voice still affecting you? did he seriously say that??

× meanwhile you catch him looking at you from the corner of your eyes

× boy is staring real bad

× so you just go his way

× he panics as you approach him and blows shit up

× "Don't fucking come closer!" you freeze because what the hell? you thought you were getting along? yeah he's been snappy recently but it's Bakugou, he has mood-swings

× but not like this? at least with you?

× also what he said before just gave you hope??

× so you decide Fuck it all and get closer, noticing how Kirishima also approaches, looking like a bodyguard

× you raise your eyebrow because Excuse you?

× "[L/N], you should leave him be for now–"

× "Get out of my way or I'll break you, Kirishima."

× so you're having a staring match with the red-head, almost nose to nose when legit a growl shakes you to the core

× "[Y/N]'s mine, Shitty Hair, back down." he said between his teeth, his palms sparkling, quirk ready

× so his friend backs up, hands raised in defeat but a knowing grin on his face

× even in full shock you expected him to ignore you again but he just stomps towards you angrily, teeth greeted

× "You have a thing for him, hmm? You like Kirishima?" he was glaring at you, breathing heavily but suddenly locked his eyes in your lips

× and while he's throwing this fit or whatever it was, all the class kinda stopped whatever they were doing to see what's going on

× but Cementos ain't having any of that so parts you guys with a cement wall and orders you to keep training

× Bakugou was never more thankful because holy shit what was about to happen?

× you're full mind-blown, remembering his words again and again not even focusing on training; you decide to talk with his dumb ass to clarify what he said and wAs he jealous? i mean he literally said you're his so—... HE FUCKING SAID YOU'RE HIS????

× after that he went back to his grumpy old man form, you don't talk again until days later, although you did try to approach him again, many times, because YOU'RE HIS????????

× it's when he finally realizes the quirk is wearing off and he's relieved because it got to a point where he couldn't sleep

× so when you confront him in the common room the next morning he shrugs it off with a "I thought I'd accidentally confess that I love you and that would've been a problem."

× he freezes

× you freeze

× he wanted to call you a dumbass and move on until he figures his shit up but...

× that's when he realizes the effect of the quirk was dying off in waves

× save him from the mortification and confess too, please?

Kirishima Eijirou:

× he's normally a truthful guy

× but not like this, man, not like this

× Fatgum saved his ass but it was too late since he already got hit by a quirk, although none knew what it was about, so his mentor was having a full Panic moment

× later on he was informed about it's nature and was confused because nothing changed?

× he still compliments people, he's still his old self and is actually so happy that's the case

× thinks he's manly because he's honest about his feelings

× although he forgot about a tiny little detail

× his big fat crush on you

× like he'd blush when you came around, almost stuttered when responding to you, would try harder when you were around because pretty please, notice him, shows off more, all the I-need-YOUR-attention bag

× because he's smooth but in a Kirishima way, you know?

× felt he had zero (0) game [so not manly of him]

× will hands down not avoid you; thinks it's lame to run away from this

× who would've thought this was the best thing that could've happened to him?

× still had his boyish charm, cute smiles, blushes

× but now we add the honest "You look amazing today. Well, more than usual." with a wink because if he can't stop himself, at least he'll make it work big time

× and oh, shit that's doing stuff to your poor heart because his compliments are all over the roof? wth is going on?

× everyone knew about his feelings for you but now they really knew

× literally takes him half a day to spill all out

× he did try to clear his mind of those feelings in class because that would be so awkward and weird; he spent so much time daydreaming how to confess before and doing it there was definitely not the plan, but something more personal and meaningful

× when Kiri saw you in the common room though, alone and minding your own business, a grin broke on his face and had hearts in his eyes

× Bakugou had to hear a lot of shit about you, tho just rolled his eyes; "whatever, shitty hair."

× because you're so flawlessly beautiful and you're not even trying

× your head snaps up at him, blushing

× OOP–did he just blurt that out?

× so he's laughing awkwardly because not like this, man

× but goes with it because We die like men here 😤

× cue word vomit about how great you are and this quirk hit him and god you're amazing and it's not a lie because remember when you first met at UA? well he thought you were an angel and when you smiled at him? perfection and your blushing face is adorable and needs to see it everyday and ok this quirk needs to stop–

× meanwhile

× [Y/N].exe has stopped working

× legit tho, he won't shut the hell up and it's adorable

× all day he's been super smooth about his compliments to you and now he's the sweetest mess ever

× and you only notice yourself smiling when he points it out and says it's the single most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life

× and even if that almost makes you 404 again you laugh and walk towards him

× which he follows and steps closer to you too

× smiling

× so he calms down when you're not freaking out about what he's spilling and goes back to being cha-cha-real-smooth again

× "I want to be able to call you mine"

Todoroki Shouto:

× another guy that doesn't really notice it at first

× he got hit by this weird blue-purple dust while on patrol with his dad

× and Endeavor went feral on this low-life villain deciding to attack suddenly

× low and behold, seems the guy wasn't a villain, just a civilian that sneezed and activated his quirk by accident

× quirk that landed on Shouto here

× which just stared confused because what?

× explanations happen, Endeavor is looking down at Shouto expecting something anytime now

× but Icy-Hot here just shrugs it off because it's okay, it's just 3 or 4 days

× funny thing is his dad asked him questions and realized pretty quick that Shouto has been really honest with him until now, which bummed him because Endeavor Is Trying™

× Todoroki Shouto was confident that nothing would go wrong so he forgets about it basically

× two days pass; class time happens

× is so fucking casual about it but it's so hilariously confusing

× he was honest before but he was quiet in general, that's why his honesty came in small dosages

× now he has no filter and won't shut up, he has this absolute need to share his thoughts

× my boy has opinions about everything

× but especially about [Y/N]

× oh yeah, he definitely tells you how that color enhances your natural beauty or how you're really smart

× is so casual and nonchalant, shooks everyone, leaves you full confusion mode while he just smiles and leaves

× legit doesn't realize it

× he complimented you before, that's the thing, but now he's really intensifying it but without changing the tone and execution and it's just a mess

× example:

× goes from "You changed your hairstyle. It looks nice." to "The way you style your hair now makes your eyes pop out more. I love it."

× lowkey proclaims his love about you; it's so obvious it hurts; you have to take it like a champ, man

× it takes Tsu to actually ask what's going on, in the first hour of class

× [even Aizawa is listening, pretending to sleep]

× explains why he's acting like this; "I got hit accidentally by a quirk that makes me speak only the truth."

× everyone just goes crazy while you're piecing stuff together in deep thought

× "Who do you think is the strongest in the class?"

× "Aizawa."

× lowkey a little shit

× "Between the students."

× "Me."

× big time a little shit

× it's until Mina asks who he likes that all hell breaks loose

× Shouto just turns to look at you, blinks and says your name

× just as everyone goes mental after a moment of silence, the bell rings signaling the next class, to which Aizawa [the mature man he is, acting as if this wasn't the best tea-spill he's gonna have at lunch with the other teachers 💅] wakes up, silences everyone and continues class

× every pair of eyes are on you all class

× Shouto is having an existencial crisis because he's actually realizing himself that he likes you

× a lot

× hands down he thought about how great you are, wondered deep in though at night why his heart beat so fast when you smiled at him, how come he got jealous???? when you'd pair with someone else to study or train... the boy didn't even know it was jealousy until now

× as in now he knew he wanted to hold your hand, have more inside jokes between you two, kiss you, marry you, wait what—

× you on the other hand are hyperventilating because Shouto likes you

× and you like him back and oH my god, wHAT just happened????

× lunch break comes, nobody moved from their seats while Todoroki just walks by, stares at you, slight blush on his face

× "I'd like to speak alone with you. About my feelings. Towards you. I like you."

× nice alone chat, Shouto 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

× legit nobody is breathing, not making a single noise, waiting for your reaction

× so through stutters and all, you have to grab him by his wrist and get the hell out, the attention being too much

× before you reach a quiet place to talk he just stares at your hand

× "I like it when you touch me. Your hand is warm and it makes my skin tingle–"

× so you're a blushing mess when you let go of his wrist fastly

× "Do you not like me back?" [insert kicked puppy face]

× [insert you telling him that you do, but all the attention in class was killing you]

× "Good. Now hold my hand properly."

× that day Shouto learned that being bold with you was the perfect way to get the sweetest reactions out of you

× it's called teasing and Todoroki Shouto will never stop

Hitoshi Shinsou:

× Shinsou had a Reputation™, ok?

× Calm, cool, collected, that's Hitoshi Shinsou

× so how come Monoma did him so dirty?

× it seems the blond borrowed a quirk from someone he knew and fled to school to just bring Hell on Earth

× but the only person he managed to throw the quirk at was at Shinsou

× it wasn't even intended for him, but for Bakugou to embarrass him

× so here he was, Mister Tired-of-this-fucking-world now having another reason to be done with everything

× the boy wasn't dumb

× made a strategy just as Monoma was apologizing for the mistake

× somehow the blond took a liking on him and even if he was now part of class 2-A, Monoma proclaimed he was a 2-B at heart; moving on...

× 3 to 5 days of not talking lies

× great, amazing, marvelous, incredible, fantastic

× Rule #1: Avoid [Y/N] at all costs

× which would prove rather difficult since you're part of the same group he was in

× and you were starting to be really good friends

× something he loved/hated because yes, he wants your friendship but he also wants much more

× so when you came to class, would you look at that! Shinsou is sleeping!

× when you went to lunch with the squad? he fled the scene, not opening his mouth

× asked to borrow a pen in class? didn't even look into your eyes as he just gave you one

× after 3 days of this you were starting to get annoyed

× and Midoriya was writing shit down in that notebook of his mumbling stuff every single time Hitoshi bailed

× what you didn't know is that the whole Dekusquad caught on to Shinsou's shenanigans and demanded answers

× well, Ochaco did and she instantly got them because she's terrifying when serious

× so Izuku is in deep fascination with the quirk, Iida is stiff as fuck and Uraraka has this really creepy I-know-something-you-don't smile on her face; Shouto was existing there too, minding his business 🍵

× you really tried to grab a hold of Shinsou but he wasn't even answering your texts

× time to make a game-plan

× and the easiest way to understand what's going on was through Deku and that suspicious notebook of his

× it wasn't even that hard to get it because you got the perfect opportunity basically thrown in your lap

× he was mumbling your name as he was writing down

× you literally demanded to see what he's writing about involving you

× the boy went full panic but before he could manage to escape the situation, the guy that's been avoiding you grabs you by your forearm and tugs you in the hallway

× there he was, purple messy head you wanted to smack, looking all uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck

× "Ok, listen, I have something to tell you and I want you to know through me, not through that notebook" he sighed, eyes avoiding you

× and while you're hurt and exhausted he just mumbles "Who knows what type of embarrassing stuff he wrote there..."

× hold up, he blushing?

× so while you're processing that he explains

× "Been hit by a quirk..." yada-yada, this and that

× "Ok, but why have you been avoiding me of all people?" you just go hard on him for a little bit, not hiding that you're hurting "Do you not trust me?"

× he's caught off guard

× "Because I love you and I'm scared you'll never look at me the same."

× longest silence of his life

× he never felt the need to fill a silent moment more than now

× so he mumbles

× oh, yah, he just blurts it all out while looking everywhere but you

× "I mean you deserve better than a guy with a quirk like this. I didn't want to make things uncomfortable between us so I thought avoiding you was the best, just so we can continue being friends and–"

× he's a fucking mess and it hurts you that he's saying stuff like that because holy shit you love this sleepy idiot?

× of course you kiss him to silence his rant

× and when you separate from it and start to reassure him he's just a m a z i n g, how dare he say stuff like that and how dare he avoid you for so long; now it's his time to kiss you back slowly and sweetly

× cue instant, lazy smile

× "You're adorable..."

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

nobody is reading these, why do i post? idk: netflix shadow and bone s1 e4 rewatch reaction? thoughts? idk (spoilers)

First of all, is it called otkazat'sya because Mal-based episode? because that's amazing okay mal's scar mirroring Alina's scar, fucking amazing (we love good retcons) Mikhail and Dubrov being deserving of all of my love what is that fucking drawing? so show Alina has been dreaming of the stag all her life? interesting Mal raising his scarred hand Alina rising up from her bed like a fucking Disney Princess, god I love her Love the genyalina dynamic so much okay I'm not going to talk about how much I hate the choice of giving away the Darkling's name because if I start I may never stop I love my crows so much Freddy sir what is your hair doing and why is it so sexy THE WAY KAZ'S SMIRK LED INTO JESPER SAYING YES TIME FOR A HEIST AND INEJ IMMEDIATELY SMILING GOD I LOVE THEM The only hint at Jesper's bi-ness is him saying lovely barmaid (and also him being him but we don't talk about that) during his adieu to Milo also why is he so adorable Every time Alina smiles, my heart goes thump thump thump I hate it when I know when you're lying to her, alek 'you can say it' I kind of earned the name but babe you ARE a 'reminder of the problem' NO DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT DUMB FUCKING LINE YOU USE WITH EVERYONE you broke my fucking heart you don't get to do this to me Mikhail and Dubrov being Mal's true besties having my whole heart, I hate what's gonna happen Baghra training montage is gorgeous but I must admit I hoped for more IVANOVSKY THE SCULPTOR I FUCKING CAN'T IM WHEEZING i love the small hint of the bell ringing when the man goes inside to get the blueprints because they use it later to get Inej out I love Jesper's sway as he walks, it's so cool I love them incorporating Inej's wraith-ness I know this smol heist was fanservice but I love them for it I love small flashes of the Darkling being stern with his soldiers Arken you little bitch I love your sneaky bitch energy omg the magical deer scat lmao 'Did you- did you pick up the stag shit, Dubrov?' girl, bye I'm losing my mind omg Helnik time I know people have talked about this but Nina eating the bread out of Matthias' hand is kind of um hot? kanej being the irritated foster parents of Jsper Llewellyn Fahey, I love them so much Jesper's side eye to Inej as soon as Arken says 'in desperate need of someone with the skills to replace their star performer'? Everything. Goodness I love Freddy's scowls THE KANEJ TENSION WHILE INEJ REMOVES HER KNIVES AND HANDS THEM TO KAZ and again, Tumblr has talked of this already but Kaz's murder eyes at the men while Inej gives her audition thingy ALSO ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR AMITA SUMAN'S WORKOUT REGIMEN I half thought Kaz will launch into some illusion or sleight of hand stuff because he loved that shit so much but I have decided I love the becoming one of the oprichniki too Show Baghra being the biggest anti of them all is the best thing okay young Malina are so fucking cute omg Baghra that's harsh Have I talked about how beautiful the score is yet how is Jessie so beautiful It's time for the you are not alone reprise scene omg he's just standing there with his forearms why are they so soft around each other IF THEY ARE TOXIC AND NOT ENDGAME YEAH IT WAS PERFECT THE ACTING'S ON POINT, THE EFFECTS ARE ON POINT, EVERYTHING IS GORGEOUS I love that it reflects on her face how she's fighting against herself as he's holding her face and she says I should go No don't show me Mal and the lads and make me grow more attached to them only to kill them off THE SCORE IS SO FUCKING GOOD Okay I know I've said it before but I'm in love with Alina "Truth is, when you lit up Kirigan's tent, there was a sound. A high tone. I knew it was you. When we were kids, you'd hold my hand and sometimes I'd hear it in the back of my head. ... Then I hear that sound again. Softly. Calling to me." OKAY THAT'S SOME GOOD FORESHADOWING Me knowing what's about to happen doesn't make me any less sad Okay Mal hitting the quartermaster on the head made me smile Alina tearing up as she looks away from Genya healing her scar to the black kefta? Immaculate. The

next episode is going to break my fucking heart into wee little pieces all over again

[holylulusworld]

Magic Fate

Summary: You reside in the bunker as your best friend Sam insisted you need to hide from the monster as you are pregnant with his brother's child. The problem is – Dean doesn’t remember your week together…

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader (platonic/best friends), Castiel

Warnings: angst, pregnant reader, A/B/O, A/B/O dynamics, light smut, mentions of sexual intercourse/heat/rut, spells, Dean being a douche, Sam being a good friend, language, arguments, nesting

Words: 2,8 k

Hot, slick and animalistic. 

It wasn’t your plan to end up in a cheap motel bed, the cocky hunter on top of you. He was wild, unstoppable and you submitted without thinking twice, believing Dean finally stopped hating you.

Your voice was hoarse at the end of the first night, your body sore and your neck, well it was marked with his claim.

Dean still didn’t let up, he was like a man on a mission, or possessed as he pumped his cock into you. Anytime you believed he will give you a break, Dean was on you again.

He called you his mate, beautiful and sexy but it all ended the moment Sam stormed into the room, followed by your favorite angel.

It didn’t take long to break the spell, and to your horror – Dean lost consciousness while you were wide awake.

Shame filled you as your best friend found you underneath his brother, crying out dirty words to urge the wild Alpha on.

You believed you and Dean could find a way to cope with what happened. It wasn’t his fault, nor was it yours but when he woke a few hours later – Dean didn’t remember he spent the last week with you…or that he claimed you.

Now you are here, in the middle of a fight between the man who claimed you and his brother, your best friend. Well, not in the middle. You are standing at the sideline, unseen by both brothers.

Thing is – Dean didn’t spend that godforsaken week with you on free terms. You realized too late that the witch you were fighting put a spell on both of you.

While you can remember every detail. Every word. Every moan. Every high you and Dean reached - the hunter acts as nothing happened. Well to him nothing happened – but to you, your whole life changed.

“She shouldn’t be here Sammy, you know that. Why can’t she stay at her place?” Dean’s words make you flinch. 

“Dean, she is seven months pregnant and a hunter. What happens when any monster or demon finds Y/N in her condition? She has no one to turn to but me, her best friend.” Sam raises his voice, frantically running his fingers through his hair.

Sam had to promise you to never tell Dean what happened. The mark at your neck started to fade the moment Sam broke the spell. Now it's only a barely visible scar which will disappear sooner or later.

“That’s not my problem, nor yours. It’s the Alpha’s problem who was dumb enough to knock her up! I don’t want a needy Omega in our home.” Dean retorts. “What happens when that guy comes around and finds her with two other Alphas?”

“Dean just stop it! I don’t think he will come here, okay. Y/N is my friend since Stanford. She will not leave, period.” Sam is just done with his brother’s behavior, so he turns to leave the kitchen.

“Yeah. Why should the Alpha come back to her? It is not as if anyone wanted her…” Spatting the words Dean catches a glimpse of you.

He wants to say something, wants to apologize but you press your hand to your mouth, gasping.

“Y/N…fuck, Dean…” Sam tries to soothe you, but you step backward, shaking your head furiously. 

“I…I’ll be gone in the morning, Dean. You do not have to worry about me and my bastard child any longer. You’re right… Wy should he have stayed after he had what he wanted…no one would…” Sniffling you rush toward the room next to Sam’s to hide in your makeshift nest.

“Dean, you fucking idiot! If she gets hurt or worse…we are done…” Sam storms off while Dean stands in the kitchen, not knowing why you were that hurt by his words.

You two used to be at each other’s throat, never got along well as you tend to pretend you are Beta or even Alpha to make sure the other hunters do not underestimate you.

Not minutes ago, you looked like a kicked puppy and Dean’s stomach dropped as he never saw you cry before. The hunter always believed you are too cold-hearted to even show emotions.

Now he knows better and feels like the worst person ever…

“Y/N, it’s me, Sam. Do you want to talk about it? Do you need anything?” Sam stands in front of your room, head hung low he listens to your silent sobs. “Y/N?”

“’m fine, Sam. I just realized it was a stupid idea to come here. Dean is right. I only caused chaos and fights between you and your brother. I’ll find a safe place. Maybe I can spend some time at Donna’s place until I found an apartment.” Wiping your eyes with the blanket you suppress another sob.

“Y/N, can I come in? I know you didn’t feel well this morning.” 

“I am fine, Sam. Just go to sleep, you need it. Stop worrying about me. Last time I checked I wasn’t your responsibility. Just leave me alone…” Your words came out way too harsh, but you need to distance yourself from Sam.

“I know you try to push me away, but this won’t work with me. You know that. I’ll leave you alone for tonight, but tomorrow we will find a better solution than you leave the bunker.” 

Sam places one hand onto your door, sighing heavily as he can hear you try to hold back another heartbreaking sob.

Past midnight Dean strolls through the hallway, still not knowing how to fix things he listens to you talk to someone.

“I am fine, Castiel. Just a bit of evening sickness or something.” Muttering you take a sip of the water you tried to get as the angel stopped you. “Stop looking at me like I am a broken doll or crap.”

“Y/N…” Castiel sighs heavily. “You need to tell him. He can’t keep on doing this to you while it’s his fault you are in this condition. We have to do something about it.”

“No, Cas. We have to do shit, okay. I am pregnant as I gave in to my instinct. He was just lost in his instinct and the spell. It was…bad luck, I guess.” Huffing you grab your glass of water. 

“Listen, you can’t leave the bunker. Not pregnant with a Winchester baby!” Dean’s heart beats faster. 

His brother knocked you up and didn’t say a thing? Why is Sam hiding you and his brother are a thing?

“Cas, it was just my bad it wasn’t Sam who got hit by the spell. I know he would’ve been able to handle he claimed and knocked me up during his forced rut. Dean is…”

Sniffling you place one hand onto your baby bump. “He always hated me from the first day we met. There is no way to tell him it’s his son in my belly.”

Dean’s legs are about to give in as he must listen to your conversation with Castiel. Not in his wildest dreams, he would have imagined you could ever be interested in him.

You always gave him glares and snarky comments, even kicked his balls years ago. But here you are, carrying his child and you seem to be sad he doesn’t give you attention.

“Y/N, the mark is fading. You and Dean need to bond soon…” Castiel tries to help you, but your forced smile let him fall silent. 

“He doesn’t want me or my baby. Dean doesn’t have to know what happened. Let’s keep it that way.”

Walking toward your room you don’t recognize Dean flatten against the wall. He holds his breath, looks at your swollen stomach once again and his heart drops.

“You know, I am an angel and can sense you, Dean.” Castiel chuckles as Dean looks at the angel like a deer in the headlight. “I caught you with your hands in the cookie jar. It’s not nice to eavesdrop, Dean.”

“She’s…that’s…” Panting Dean looks at Castiel. “That’s my pup growing inside of her. Why can’t I remember anything? Why did Sam and Y/N never tell me so?”

“You can’t remember as only you got hit by the spell. When we broke it, you forgot what happened and we decided it’s for the best not to tell you about the witch and what she did.” 

“Why? I had the right to know!” Shrugging Castiel looks at his friend, a dark look on his face.

“The moment you woke all you had in mind was to nag about the fact that Y/N was around. You couldn’t remember Sam called her for the case and with every passing minute, I saw the hurting get worse. You have to know…”

Castiel steps closer to intimidate Dean. “Y/N can remember everything. Every word you said and every touch. I tried to stay out of her mind, but she replays the week in her head over and over again.”

“Cas…”

“It pains me to see Y/N like that. I offered to delete the memories, but she cried even harder. Do you know what she said?” Shaking his head Dean digs his fingertips into his thighs. 

“No…”

“Y/N said that this way, she has a pleasant memory of you, not only harsh words and hard looks. She’s vulnerable right now, Dean. You better stay away from her and the baby in her body…”

Dean doesn’t listen to his friend's words. He’s running toward the kitchen to prepare a meal for you. He did a lot of research lately to find out what a pregnant Omega needs. 

Believing you would reject his help, or rather him being close to you Dean acted like he doesn’t care. 

“She’s mine…” Humming silently he prepares food, water, and sweets for you before he rushes toward your room.

Dean is unsure how to start a conversation so he just storms into your room only to find you curled into a ball on a nest in your wardrobe.

“Sweetheart…” Dean’s heart drops seeing you want to close the doors to hide from him. “You shouldn’t make a nest in your wardrobe. It’s too small for you.” 

“It's safe in here. Now one can catch me off-guard.” Pointing toward the gun, an angel blade and the sigils you added to the doors you snuggle into the flannel you stole from Dean. “Don’t need much…”

“Y/N…shit…” Placing the tray with food onto your bed Dean kneels next to your wardrobe. “This doesn’t look comfortable, Y/N. How about making one on your bed…”

“No…no…” Furiously shaking your head you try to close the door again. “’s safe in here. No one can come in.”

Whimpering you must watch Dean get closer to your nest and you grasp for the knife under your pillow. “Stay away from my pup…”

“Jesus, Y/N. I would never hurt you or my baby.” An icy shiver runs down your spine as Dean moves closer to place his hand onto your belly. “’s my baby inside your belly…right?”

“How’d know?” Your eyes round as Dean moves one hand to your neck to brush your hair aside. 

“There is my mark. You’re my mate now let’s make a nest somewhere else.” You look at Dean as if he is crazy. “Sweetheart. Let me help you. I am sorry for what I said. It’s just…”

“You hate me…”

“No, Y/N. It’s…the thought you are pregnant with another Alpha’s pup made me go crazy. I couldn’t think about anything, but you are having that faceless Alpha’s baby…” 

He’s fighting to get hold of you as you wiggle in his grip as Dean tries to bring you into his arms. “Stop wiggling ‘mega. I want to bring you to my room. My mate will not sleep in a wardrobe…”

“I want to stay here. It’s safe and asshole proof.” Dean chuckles at your words, but you are not amused at all.

Fighting his hands, you call for Sam’s help but Dean is determined and hooks one arm under your legs and the other safely around your back to pick you up.

“Fuck, you're heavy. Sweetheart.” Smirk on his lips, Dean looks at you in his arms as he tries to get up. “You eat for three or four…”

“Only for two, idjit. Now let me down…” Punching his chest you glare at the hunter but he won’t let go of you. “Don’t drop me!”

“You’re heavy and annoying but I’ll not drop you, Y/N. Now be still and let your Alpha carry you into his room.” He groans as he gets up and you can’t hold back a chuckle as you know, you are way too heavy for him to carry you around. “I’ve got this…”

“What the…?” Sam storms into your room. Hair a mess, shirt upside down he looks at you in his brother's arms. “Dean?”

“Get out of my way. That’s my mate and pup. Next time, do not hide I had dirty and mind-blowing sex with your best friend. Damn…I wish I could remember…” While Dean forces his way out of your room, you call for Sam.

“Don’t, Sammy. She’s mine, not yours. You can open my door to help me enter the room, nothing else.” 

“That’s wrong…” Snarling you fight for your nest. Dean brought all the pillows, blankets and clothes to his room and placed it onto his bed but you are not satisfied. “You ruined my nest…”

“It looks better than yours.” Grunting Dean puts one of his flannels onto the nest but you toss it away. “OMEGA!”

“You’re a lousy Alpha. This is my job, idiot. Do not ruin my nest…” Wiggling on the bed you straighten the blankets, put the pillows a few inches to the left before you drape Dean’s flannels over the blankets. “That’s better. Now give me the one you are wearing…”

“No! That’s my favorite.” You are unimpressed. Holding out your hand you purse your lips, faking a sob and Dean strips the plaid off. “Greedy little Omega…”

“Stop muttering. Now I want your shirt…” Dean rolls his eyes as you move closer to the edge of the bed to tug at his shirt. “I want it, give it to me…”

“Damn, are you that dominant in the bedroom too? I could give you something better than my shirt…” Sticking your tongue out you point toward his chest. “You only want my clothes, I get it…”

“If you weren’t an asshole all the time, I’d let you knot me.” Eyes narrowed you snatch the shirt from his hands, not missing the chance to ogle the Alpha for a moment.

“I bet you want me to knot you good.” All cocky bastard again Dean kicks his shoes off. “I’ll conquer this nest…”

“Nah…” Pointing toward the floor you toss a pillow at Dean. “I will not share my nest with you. This is mine…” It’s your turn to grin but Dean ignores your words. 

Dipping one knee into the mattress he glances at the free place next to you. “I’ll lie next to you and my baby. I will not leave this nest. I am your Alpha, now be a good Omega and let me rest to protect you and the pup.”

“Hmm…” Glancing at Dean you make space for him to let him lie next to you. “You can lie there to attack any enemy. Do not touch me or the nest…” 

While you eye Dean warily he rolls to his side to face you. His hand lands on your belly but you do not shove it away.

“He’s mine…” Purring for you Dean scoots closer, becomes braver as he occupies half of your nest. “You’re mine. Now rest ‘mega. Tomorrow I’ll knot you good.”

“No…” Dean ruined half of your nest, dared to lie on his favorite flannel and your eyes darken. “This is my flannel, I want it…” Sniffing you purr low in your throat as Dean smells better than the fabric. “Or I’ll have you…”

“What?” Squeaking Dean must fight your hands but it’s too late. You dragged him onto your nest, rolled the hunter onto his back to make sure he’s in the middle of your nest. “Care to explain?”

“You are part of the nest now. Shush…” Ogling your nest you hum before you grasp for the last blanket. Dean dares not to move as you wiggle on his bed until you found a comfortable position.

One leg draped over Dean’s, head resting onto his chest you close your eyes.

“Do not move! You’re part of the nest, Alpha…”

“What if I have to pee?” Dean chuckles but your serious look makes him gulp. “Y/N?”

“I don’t care. You’re part of the nest. Now let me sleep…” 

“You’re one annoying Omega. I had to knock you up…must be fate…” Dean groans and you gently pat his chest.

“You’ll get used to being my Alpha. I’ll teach you all you have to know. We will start with my lessons tomorrow by you making me breakfast. Now shut your cakehole and be part of the nest.”

“I hate you…”

“Hate you more Dean…”

[slightlymore]

I’m both

Genre: One-shot | Smut Pairing: Taeyong x Fem Reader Warnings: Spanking, light bondage, unprotected  Word count: 3.8K Summary: Taeyong gets invited to your family’s New Year party. Described as a sweet, caring and shy person, you underestimate him big time

Note: this was so hARD to write, these days I’m out of fuel (I respect the literate community but it ain’t me), I also went through multiple mental breakdowns lol :) so I hope it’s any good (roast me in the tags, send me a diss, fight me in a parking lot) 

MASTERLIST TO-DO LIST

“He’s the kindest young man I’ve ever met; every parent would want a child like him,” said your mother while finishing to set the table. You hummed as to indicate that you were listening but weren’t that interested. Your hands were busy folding red and gold napkins for the New Year Eve party your family was hosting.

Every year your family would host a small party with all the extended family, neighbours and friends. That year you’ve been more busy than usual (mostly mentally) since your mother thought that it would be wonderful to invite over the couple that she and your father met during the summer break while being on a vacation. They are wonderful people, she’s been saying for months now, and it would be a shame to not maintain the friendship, she added. Moreover, their son was being described as this Perfect Son TM, responsible, kind, smart, funny, thoughtful and incredibly good-looking. You sighed. You weren’t a perfect daughter, but you’ve never made your parents sad or angry. People have always complimented you on what a good child you were, and the appearance of this new Good Child made you anxious and jealous. “Did I tell you he’s absolutely gorgeous?” asked your mother as she finished to place the last decorations and was admiring them with hands on the hips. You took in a deep breath trying to not roll your eyes. “Yes, mom. He’s the best-looking man you’ve ever seen in your whole life” you replied. She looked over at you while frowning a bit. “Oh, come on, Y/N. There’s no reason to feel all this dread. I’m not setting you up with him. I just think it would be nice for you to become friends” she said. As she has said in other countless situations. Every situation in which your mom tried to “befriend you with this great boy” revealed itself to be a big failure. You shrugged. “I’m not feeling any dread, mom. It’s just not necessary for me to be all that excited to meet a guy. It’s just whatever”. Oh, and you were so wrong. It was not whatever at all. Most invitees were already scattered around the house when the doorbell rang for the millionth time that evening. You were the butler for the night, so you put on your best (fake) smile to greet the new guests, again. But it soon disappeared from your face as you saw your parents’ new friends. You weren’t expecting any of it. You didn’t know what to do. First of all, he (HE) didn’t look as you were anticipating. Like, at all. Is this the good boy people were talking about? Looking like that? You tried to look over at your mom, as the family entered the house one by one greeting you, as to telepathically tell her that “Mom! He has bright red hair and 20 piercings!” but she didn’t see you. “Mom! He has a split eyebrow!” you yelled in your own head as you shook his hand. But as he looked at you, with round and innocent eyes, and smiled while saying his name, Taeyong, you got confused. He was wearing a black, velvet suit and shiny shoes. His cheeks were a little bit red, maybe from the cold, maybe from being timid, and you relaxed a bit. As he turned around and kissed your mom on the cheeks, you saw him as your mother described him, sweet and cute as a child. You closed the door behind you and followed them, quite dizzy. Grabbing a drink, as they did, you tried to not stare. He didn’t look at all like you imagined. Not that he looked bad. He looked absolutely ethereal. For once, your mom wasn’t messing around and was right. He was definitely the best-looking man you’ve ever seen in your whole life. But his looks and his personality didn’t match at all. You found that rather charming and you acknowledged that you were intrigued. Taeyong’s voice was deep and pleasant and he and his parents showered you all with compliments on the food, the decorations and thanked for the invitation. They have never visited your city and were pleasantly surprised by how pretty it was. “Our Y/N, did most of the house decorations by herself,” said your grandfather, making you jerk your head into his direction. You were probably staring at Taeyong. “You mean, handmade them?” asked him, impressed, by looking at your grans first, then at you. Your family proudly said that yes, you handmade most of them and you opened your mouth as to say something as well but didn’t know what to add. “They are very good. You might as well sell them” commented Taeyong’s dad. You smiled at the compliment and thanked him. The conversation then moved around the room leaving you alone. You walked around hoping that Taeyong would come to talk to you, but he didn’t. You could see that he was glancing often in your direction and you understood that he was too shy to approach you first. At a certain point during the evening, you managed to move finally near him, as you both were munching on food by the buffet and looking awkwardly at the older people making a fool out of themselves. Taeyong was rather endearing. His looks were so intense that you’ve gotten shy as well at first, but his awkwardness gave you a little more confidence to approach him and you started to ask questions. He answered them all and politely asked you some as well. The music was so loud that you had to almost scream into each other’s ears and being so near him made you quite excited. It was probably the champagne talking but you were really bored and Taeyong was so cute that you wanted to have some fun. It was embarrassing and probably rude to assume (even if only in your head), but Taeyong didn’t look like someone who would have had a lot of experience. In fact, he was probably a virgin. “I can show you if you want to,” you said to him as he wondered how the process of crafting decorations went. He looked at you, a little bit taken aback, but then he agreed and followed you upstairs, to your room. You entered chatting away but then stopped as Taeyong went suddenly quiet. Looking behind your shoulder, you could not help yourself but giggle a little as you saw him hesitant to enter. “What’s wrong?” you asked. He was looking around your room with his hands in his pockets, trying to give off a nonchalant look. “Why?” he asked, after finally entering with a deep breath and looking immediately at your shelves, trying to hide his face. You smiled. “No, nothing,” you said in the end. He was really busy making himself concentrate on the objects in your room so he wouldn’t have to look at you. You ended up having to talk to his very attractive backline. You looked at his hair first, then slowly at his neck, his broad shoulders and his long legs. You were about to say something flirty to go on with your plan when he talked before you could. “Like what you see?” he asked. His voice was suddenly low and deep. You winced. He was looking at you through the mirror at his right. You couldn’t believe that he caught you checking him out. How dumb could you be? You were about to laugh it off, sure that he was feeling as embarrassed as you were, but then you noticed his eyes. Those weren’t his usual eyes. The corner of his lips was lifted slightly as to imitate his raised eyebrow. Instead of looking like a deer, he was more like a predator. You gulped. He turned around. “What’s wrong?” he asked, almost lazily, just like you’ve asked just moments before that. He was very confident, almost cocky. He was another person. There was another person in front of you. Relaxed, with hands in his pockets, he tilted his head to the side, observing you. “Your vibe is totally different” you managed to say, hoping that it didn’t sound stupid. He laughed at your comment and for a split second, you could see the shy person that you’ve talked to the whole evening, before being totally overshadowed by this person that you’ve never seen before. “What do you mean? You look a little bit scared. Am I scary?” he asked. “No, not at all. You’re not scary, you’re just different all of a sudden” you tried to explain. “You’re… sexy” you added, hoping it didn’t sound weird. You thought that Taeyong would laugh and blush because you were definitely blushing and didn’t want to feel alone. He was playing. You were sure he was putting on an act to mess with you, just like you were trying to mess with him. He didn’t blush though, nor did he laugh. Or, better, he smirked, yes, he was amused, he liked the compliment a lot, but it didn’t embarrass him. You could see that. As if he knew already. You felt your heart shaking. You didn’t want to admit to yourself before, but Taeyong had such a powerful aura mixed with that soft personality of his, that it gave you confidence. You liked it when he was hesitant and shy to enter your room and you felt superior. You had no idea he had that other side to him, and you weren’t sure about your confidence anymore. “You’ve been checking me out all night. It’s flattering, coming from you” he complimented you as well. “Do you want to see how I did the decorations?” you blurted out, before realizing how stupid your change of subject was. You walked past him like wind and opened your crafting kit. He accepted the change in dialogue and didn’t add anything, he just got closer. Hoovering a bit over you he tried to look at what you were holding. “It’s actually very easy, you just have to…” you started to explain but froze as his fingers lightly brushed against your arm and shoulders. “Your dress strap fell” he explained in a low voice. His fingers were slightly colder than your body and you got goosebumps all over your skin. You forgot what you were about to say. “You just have to…?” Taeyong asked, seeing you silent. “Uhm…” you hummed uncertainly. Taeyong’s breath tickled your ear as he chuckled. “Am I making you nervous, Y/N?” he asked in vain, as you both knew the answer to that. “It’s funny how you brought me up here, hoping to make me feel nervous when in reality you’re the nervous one” he commented. You shut your eyes for a brief second trying to swallow the embarrassment of being found out. “What are you talking…” you tried to ask but couldn’t continue as he spoke over you, accompanying his voice with his hand on the small of your back. “What did you want to do to me?” he asked. You took in a deep breath. The same hand that fixed your dress strap just moments before, was the same that delicately made it fall again. Your goosebumps were back, and you shivered even more than before. Taeyong smiled. “You’re very sensitive” he commented, appreciative. “I’m curious to see how your body will react when I do this” he added as he placed the softest kiss to your exposed shoulder. You looked over it to watch him. One strand of hair fell out of his styled fringe covering his eyes that he promptly directed on yours. His gaze was dark but amused at your reaction. His plump lips hoovered over your skin for a little after kissing it. Your own lips were partially open when he quickly shortened the distance between your faces and even if you were expecting it, it still took you by surprise. It was a hot kiss, nothing to do with awkwardness and inexperience. His hands, placed on the small of your waist, slowly caressed your back up until reaching the top of your dress zip. You broke off the kiss to breathe at the same time as your dress started to fall gently off your body. The room was heated but you suddenly felt cold and tried to stop yourself from shivering. It was impossible though, as Taeyong’s fingertips were drawing intricated figures on your skin. You held firmly onto the edge of the desk in front of you, arching your back under his touch and closing your eyes. His hands didn’t stop for a second, endlessly feeling you, trying to find the spots that most make you jolt, before settling to your ass and grabbing it hard. You let out a low mm. “Do you like it rough?” he asked. His voice was low and amused. You looked over your shoulder again with a quickened breath. “Yes,” you replied. His pupils shook slightly at your honesty. Then he spanked you once. Hard. Then once again. The whine that escaped your mouth was louder than you intended so you quickly bit your lower lip. Your bra suddenly got replaced by his hands as he pressed you harshly against his body, pulling you close. You let your head fall on his shoulder as Taeyong hungrily pressed his face into your neck, kissing and biting every centimetre. His hands were restlessly squeezing your breasts and pinching your hard nipples. You could feel him pulsing against your ass, so you let your hand fall behind you and stroked him with your palm. He indulged a few seconds into the sensation before grabbing your hand by the wrist, turning you around and pushing you on the bed. You gasped surprised as you landed on the mattress, not expecting it, then propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him. Taeyong was at the end of the bed, smirking and taking off his jacket before delicately putting it on the chair behind him. Turning to face you again, he slowly opened his wrist buttons, almost if putting on a show for you to watch, and as slowly he rolled one sleeve first then the second, exposing his strong forearms. It was nothing, but it drove you insane as if he suddenly stripped of every piece of clothing he was wearing. Again, as slowly as before, he unbuckled his belt, but as he did with the shirt, he wasn’t intending of taking off his pants. With a fluid movement, he straddled over your legs and slowly made his way up to reach your arms. Your back hit the bed as he took your hands into his. He pressed his lips onto your wrists giving them sweet kissed before tying them up with his belt. You jolted a bit and hissed through your teeth as the rough material bruised your skin. He then proceeded to place them over your head delicately and hoovering over you he got as close as to whisper: “Don’t move”. Your chest was rising and falling quickly. You were a little afraid but so very excited by the unknown. “What are you going to do?” you asked. Taeyong didn’t reply and instead got back on his feet, admiring his work pleased. His eyes traced the line of your body, every curve, before stopping at your closed legs. He clicked his tongue as if disapproving. “Open up for me, love, would you?” he commanded. You breathed in, deeply, before slowly opening your thighs, completely exposed in front of him. He licked his lips at the view. His gaze was so strong that you were feeling as if he was already touching you. And after a whole minute of moving and fidgeting you were wondering why he wasn’t touching you already. “What’s wrong, babe?” he smiled, almost innocently. A wolf wearing a sheep mask. He was laughing at how needy you were. You puffed irritated but also amused. You had no idea how you ended up in that situation. Taeyong was supposed to lay almost naked under you while you teased him to death, definitely not the other way around. How the tables have turned. “Don’t be a coward and touch me” you finally spoke. Taeyong raised his eyebrows while pointing at his face. “Me? A coward?” he asked. You raised your chin provokingly. “Mama’s boy is afraid of some pussy? Is this the first one you see?” you teased him. He scoffed, incredulous and with a quick movement he teared up your frail, lace panties. You opened your mouth as to breath in but instead, a loud moan came out of it as he buried his face into you. He didn’t bother to get down on you and preferred to lift you up by your waist to meet his hungry tongue. You threw your head deeper into the pillows and closed your eyes. Your toes were curling at every millimetre of skin Taeyong tasted, rough and fervent. Oh fuck, you whined. Taeyong’s tongue drew quick and wet circles around your clit, then between your folds and deeper inside you, then out, then sucking hard, alternating kitty licking and hard tasting. His head then raised up from you and he let go of you. Your back hit the mattress with a muffled sound. You were out of breath and your wrists hurt badly as you tugged at the belt trying to lunge for the blanket underneath you. But Taeyong didn’t let you rest. He grabbed your legs hard and raised them up. Your thighs were touching your stomach as he roughly caressed them with his palms before directing them underneath you to hold onto you. He quickly made his way between your lips again, this time slower, sliding his tongue across your core a few times then adding his fingers to the action, rubbing onto your clit as his tongue proceeded to make you flinch every second. Your moans intensified as he switched and finally slipped them inside of you while his mouth erotically worked you up. “You’re driving me crazy with those whimpers of yours,” he said with a deep voice while following with the tongue the outline of your pussy. You moaned violently again as he arched his fingers inside of you, his mouth full of you. That sweet torture didn’t have to last long. With a last rub, the burning sensation spread across your whole body, through your blood, up to your head, leaving you all shaking and panting. With not a single ounce of force in your limbs, you looked at how your legs slid around Taeyong’s body until reaching the mattress. And that’s when you saw his smiling while smacking his lips like after a delicious meal. His eyes told you that it wasn’t over. You whined as he grabbed you by the waist and quickly turned you around. Your face was pressed against the pillows, your arms still stretched painfully over your head, your chest squished under you, your legs parted and your ass up. Taeyong hummed pleased rubbing his hand all over your buttocks, thighs and lower back. “Taeyong… I can’t take it anymore” you managed to say. He looked at you with furrowed brows as if concerned. “Oh no, what do we do?” he asked playfully. “I shall go then” he added trying to get up from the bed. “No” you stopped him. “No” you added more softly. “Please, just untie my hands” you asked. He thought about it for a second as he probably felt sorry for you. He got closer and tugged at your wrists. You rested on your side while he untied the belt looking at his face. His lips were red and swollen as he passed the tip of his tongue wetting them. You didn’t wait any longer. As your hands were free you pushed him down into the mattress and straddled him to keep him down. The surprised look on his face delighted you and made you laugh. “You’re finally mine” you whispered as you started to dry hump him on top of his pants. He looked up at you trying to talk back but the words got stuck into his throat at the sensation. He closed his eyes and started to breathe heavily. The fabric rubbing your already raw clit drove you insane and you didn’t have any force in your arms anymore. After a few seconds, you let yourself rest on his chest. Taeyong, getting a hold of himself, unbuttoned his pants, finally releasing his throbbing cock and directing it towards your core. You buried your face into his shoulder with a moan as it easily slid into you filling you up and stretching you good. He didn’t wait a single moment and wrapping his arms around your body he started to thrust hard. You let out a cry and between groans he hushed you, incessantly caressing your ass and back and pushing you against his hard body. Your nipples were rubbing up and down his shirt and you were feeling oversensitive, a whole mess. Taeyong let go of your waist and sliding his hands up he wrapped them up around your neck then on your cheeks. A few strands of his hair were stuck on his sweaty forehead as he was pounding deep into you. You supported yourself up as much as you could by placing your arms around his head making it easy for him to reach your breast. He didn’t miss the hint and started to suck on them while letting out husky moans. Eager to add to the pleasure you started to lightly tense the muscles around his cock making him swear. Out of control he threw his head on the pillows and grabbed ass hard, spanking it, leaving red marks. All your nerves were awake and burning. As you broke down, trembling from head to toe on top of him, he didn’t stop, quick and hungry until you felt his warm cum fill you up. Both panting, you slid off him slowly and rested on your back with not an ounce of force. Taeyong’s chest continued to rapidly rise and fall until finally settling down to a normal pace. He then zipped his pants and got up from the bed. You looked over at him as he walked towards the mirror and checking himself up, he tried his best to style up his hair like before. He then looked at you, still a mess, as he unrolled his sleeves and buttoned them up. His gaze was relaxed and his smile tired, almost shy. With a fluid movement he wore his jacket back and walking towards the bed, he hovered over you and surprisingly kissed your lips softly. Trying to get up again, you stopped him by lightly tugging at his collar. “Which one are you really?” you asked in a whisper. He looked at you sweetly. His cheeks were rosy from fatigue and you wondered, maybe slight embarrass. “I’m both” he replied with a smile before leaving.

[reabrook332]

That Night

Namjoon x reader smut Dis: reader is feeling some sort of way towards Joon after the ‘incendent’ A/N: I’m trying here

It’s too late for this. I want to be home right now in my bed watching my favorite show but right now, I’ve been stuck here looking at his back for the last 4 hours.  He’s been hunched over his desk writing lyrics all day. The pressure with the new album has been getting to him I can tell but everytime I ask him how he’s feeling he just tells me some weird philosophical shit and goes back to writing. So far the most interaction we’ve had has been when he asked me to go get coffee for him. My phone beeps. I take it out of my pocket to see that it was Hobi asking me to bring him some food to the dance studio for him. I giggle slightly at his request for Sprite and a Cheese-burger. Slipping on my shoes I stand up to head to the door “ Hey, i’m going to take Hoseok some food real quick i’ll be back.” He doesn’t say anything, just nods and I make my journey to the break room and grab the goods and make my way to the dance studio. While walking to the dance studio I contemplated my situation. He has been in such a weird mood lately I can’t describe it ever since the incident. We were in a very compromising position...well as comprising as me moaning his name with my legs in the air as it can be. For some reason I think he was more embarrassed then I was. Needless to say I felt very bad for Jimin’s eyes that day the door still has a few cracks in it from when he slammed it. Ever since Namjoon has been in a weird mood all the time. A blush creeps up my neck as I think of that night. I don’t know if it’s from embarrassment or from excitement. I remember it so well. We were so excited to have finished the album so excited in fact that he hugged me which he never does. I remember how he looked at me before kissing me with such need. It was like he was trying to devour me. Soon our hands started roaming up and down each other’s bodies and well you can guess that things escalated. However, just as we were getting to the good part, face in between my legs on his shoulders. Jimin walks in with the other boys behind him but they didn’t see anything due to Jimin slamming the door and saving the last of Namjoon’s and I’s dignity. To this day Jimin still can’t look me in the eyes….poor boy. The sight of Hobi crouched down in front of his phone was quite a funny sight. When he heard me come in he ended what I guess was a VLive and eagerly walked over to me. I  guess his hunger was more important than the millions of fans that were watching him just a few seconds ago. After taking a few bites he looks at me in amusement but with a hint of pity. “ soooooo.” I cut him off “ I don't even want to talk about it.” He snorts as he tries to laugh. “ He’s still not talking to you.” “ Of course he talks to me, he has to if he wants his coffee in the morning” Hobi gives me a look of ‘you can’t be serious’ “ Fine, fine! No he has not talked to me about what happened and to be honest i’d rather not talk about it.” Hobi holds his hands up in defence “ whoa, I’m not to one who got caught.” “ Oh shut up.” He burst out laughing then continued on his food. I decided to take the long way back to Joon’s studio. I need to mentally prepare myself to be in the same room as him. I do wonder what would have happened if Jimin hadn’t walked in would it had escalated further or would you guys have stopped there. The feeling of dread creeps up as you reach the door to his studio and punch the new code. He changed it after the incident. I was not ready for the sight of a shirtless Namjoon in the studio. He looks like a deer in headlights. We make eye contact for several long seconds before I turn away, cheeks red and he puts on a new shirt. “ Sorry I spilled coffee on my shirt and had to change” he says trying to ease the tension in the room. Now if only he could ease the tension in between your legs….. Wait…..shit. You seriously did not just think that. I need to sit down and try to think of other things. The shirt he changed into is a plain white one that fit his muscles so well. If only his fans knew how buff and big this guy really is like, he’s massive. I didn’t realize I was staring at him so long till I saw him begin to turn to look at me. Trying my best to make it look like I wasn’t looking at him I quickly look down at my phone to try to make it look like I was doing something. “Y/N.” Damn his voice is so sexy when he says my name. “ Yes, Namjoon” “ Could you please get me another coffee.” and like that he turns back around without another word and goes back to working on lyrics. It was a short trip to get him his coffee. I looked at my watch to see it read 3AM. God can I just go home already and sleep. When I get back I gently put the coffee on his desk and he nods in appreciation. I got a whiff of him, dear lord does he smell good. Suddenly another wave of heat goes through me and now the want to leave only increases. Now I have a mission when I get home and it’s to get rid of the need to fuck him as soon as possible, and to do that i’m gonna go home and masturbate until it’s hurts. Sitting back down I cross my legs to try to relieve at least some of the pressure between my legs. I need something to distract me and what better way than to read smutty fanfiction. Another hour passed by the amount of pure filth I've read is amazing. Namjoon suddenly stood up and started stretching. I can’t at this point but to shamelessly stare at this building of a man. I can see the trails of little hair that go down into his  jeans. I don’t even notice that he saw me staring at him. It was at this moment I realized that I can’t take this sexual tension anymore. “ Well this has been a very long night. I really need to get home” I turn to grab my purse but stop when I feel a large hand grab my wrist and spend me back to where Namjoon and I are face to face. Literal centimeters apart from each other. He looks at my lips then back to meet my eyes. He speaks in a hush tone. “ Why won’t you talk to me?” Um…what. I think my confusion showed on my face because he takes a step back and runs his fingers through his mullet. “ I just m-mean that you haven’t talked to me since the incident.” Oh my god don’t tell me that all this time he thought that I was avoiding him this entire time. A small “oh” was the only thing to come out of my mouth before I started laughing and I feel like he didn’t like that response. “ ‘oh?’ that's all you have to say. I’ve been sitting here thinking that you hate me for the past week and all you have to say is ‘oh’” I look at him flabbergasted while struggling to hold back my laughter “I-I-...wait no you’ve been the one not talking to me.” he looks at me for a moment before it clicks what was going on. His face falls into his hands as he does a facepalm then he nods his head a little.He looks back up at me and says “ so you mean to tell me that we’ve been avoiding each other because we thought the other person was avoiding us.” I slowly nod my head. He chuckles to himself before sitting down in the chair and looking at me. “ I guess this is kinda funny in a ironic way.” He laughs and just looks at me. I can’t believe him, 148IQ and he pulls shit like this. I am genuinely flabbergasted by this man like how can someone be so smart yet so dumb.  Maybe it was the tiredness or maybe it was the heat pooling between your legs but something compelled me to just throw caution to the wind. So I walked up to his chair, grabbed him by his collar and kissed him. He was caught off guard by it but then he started to kiss me back and pulled me closer to where I had to sit on his lap. We started making out,biting, sucking, the whole shabang when we started feeling eachother up he pulled away with hesitation. Looking down at him with his slightly swollen lips and tousled hair it was a beautiful site so much more different then the fanfics i’ve read about him. “ I really don’t think we should be doing this.” My heart breaks a little as I get up off him feeling humiliated and make my way to my bag, I hear him moving around behind me and something rustling and some clicking noises.  Turning around I see that he has his coat on and has shut down the computers. “ I really don’t want to get caught again, so your house or mine?” He asks as he zips up his coat. I look at him with a WTF do you mean face and he just looks at me and says “ My house then.” I don’t even know how but somehow I am in a car with THE Kim Namjoon on my way to his house. Okay heart come down you’re beating a little too hard, but can I blame myself? I know what’s about to happen but still I can’t help but to be excited. Come on Y/N pull yourself together you’re a grown woman you’ve had sex before and he’s a grown man. Granted you don’t know much about about his sex life but I know he’s had a few one night stands here and there while on tour. Shit, what if I get fired for this? Was this just a pity fuck? He’s staring out the window right now, what if the same thought is going through his head right now? He’s doing that jaw clench thing oh shit what if this really is a pity fuck god that would be really embarassing. I knew I shouldn’t have kissed him fuck fuck fuck…. “Y/N.” “Yes?” He turns and looks at me, “ I’m sorry about not talking to you. I just thought you needed space.” wow way to do a whole 180 on the sexual tension between you guys and make it sentimental. “ It’s ok-” “No it’s not, I should have just taken initiative and talked to you. I was just embarrassed about the whole Jimin walking in on us and I felt like you were avoiding me out of embarrassment. I u-um I really like you Y/N but I know you could get in trouble with the company if we try to do anything, it was hard enough to get the boys to keep quiet about what happened.” He’s ramling “Joon, what are you trying to say?” I try to get him to talk slower so I can understand what he’s saying. “ I’m trying to say that… I really like you like realllly like you. I know however, that if you would be willing to have a relationship with me that we would have to keep it low-key.” wait…. is he asking me out right now. Shit I don’t know what to say to this. I know millions of people who would kill to be in this situation. But do I really want to be hidden from the world and live my life in fear if anyone found out. I’ve know this man for the past 4 years and I didn’t realize the years of romantic tension that has been building between us. If I did date him that means I have to quit my job, I mean, I’d definitely be set up for life with Namjoon. And if we break up what happens then? I won’t have a job to go back to. I think i’ve been quiet for too long cause his face starts to drop, “ I mean if you don’t want to that's ok.” wait no “ Joon I don’t know. It could mean that I have to leave my job. Don’t get me wrong I would love to, but you see what the fanbase does when they see a girl in your lives they’ll crucify me if they knew I exist.” “ But think about the ones who don’t care, Y/N. At some point those fans have to realize that I’m in my mid 20’s and at some point I have to move on and have my own family and life.” I think it over, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we give it a try. “ Ok Joon” His eyes lit up, then he grabbed my face and kissed me. We are in his bed and everything feels so good. His bare chest is pressed against mine. We couldn’t even make it to the bedroom before we started stripping each other, pressing kisses wherever we could before clumsy making our way through his large home to his bedroom. I’ve never been inside of his house before but in that time I did notice that it was very modest in its decorations. By the time we got to his room I was only my bra and panties and him in his boxers. He’s kissing me so hard that I actually think that my lips are bruised. He puts his hand on my back to guide me on his bed as he kisses me and gently puts me on my back and settles between my legs. I can feel his getting hard while he grabs my face and deepens the kiss he pulls back for a second. “Y/N, are you ok with this.” I take a look at him and finally take in how he looks; hair disheveled from me running my hands through it and pulling on it, He was breathing hard and I can see all of his muscles moving. If only the fans knew how built this guy it’s not just that he was musculare he was just big. Every part of him was big and I mean every part of him from his shoulders all the way down to his thighs. I nod and he pushes me back down into the pillows to continue what we were doing before. Soon he started grinding into me slow and steading making me grow wetter with every slow movement his dick had grown harder by then to the point where I was actually concerned if it would even fit inside me. I let my hands roam around his body feeling his every muscle twitch. He started to spread the kisses down my neck sucking and biting, then down to my chest where he unclipped my bra to get fully to my breast. Joon had started sucking on one of my nipples while playing with the other one, teasing it causing me to moan. Smirking up at me he began to trail down further the lower he got the more I noticed how hard I was panting in anticipation for what was about to happen. This isn’t like I had Imagined it was slow and passionate, not rough and frenzied like I had wanted but this was so much better. Looking at my panties he looked up at me smirking, “ Do you wear paties like these everyday.” I nod not wanting him to know that I do wear granny panties most days while thanking God I decided to go with the black thong today. He started pulling them down a couple tugs later they were completely off. Before he could do anything else he stood up and walked to his drawer pulling out a condom and holy shit it’s a king size. Suddenly his phone buzzed on the dresser he walked over to it to see who it was then a look of annoyance on his face is very evitable on his face as he answeredhis phone, “Hello… Right now?... Okay...Yes, Jimin...Okay I’m on my way.” Of course it’s fucking Jimin that has to ruin the moment. Maybe this is a sign. My thoughts are intrupted when I’m shoved back on the bed by a very annoyed Namjoon, oh boy I think this moment just took a turn. I didn’t even realized he put the condom on before he settles inbetween my legs and looks back at me waiting for me to give my approval I nod my head again then in the matter of seconds he lines himself up and begins pushing into me. A few moments later he’s completly inside of me then he dips his head lower to my ear and wispers “ I’m not going to let him ruin this moment for me again.” then proceeds to thrust in and out of me at first slow and steady it felt so sweet having him be inside me filling me up. He does somthing that I didn’t expect though, he pulls out then flips me over onto my belly and goes back in going even herder then he was going before. Wrapping one arm around my throat and putting the other on by the side of my head I can hear his heavy breathing in my ear. “ I’m sorry baby but I have to make this quick they want me back at the studio.” buring his head in the crook of my neck he starts grunting and moaning about how good I feel. By this point I am a moaning mess as I try to reach one arm around to caress his hair but he grabs my hand and pushes it back down. His weight on top of me is sufficating but I love it so much the feeloign of him being inside of me and his thick thighs slamming into mine the lewd sound of skin on skin making me even wetter. I feel my orgasm coming and I start moaning louder he took the hint and moves his hand down to grip my waist making my back arch more has he starts literally drilling into me. Within seconds I became undone under him. He cums soon after with one final thrust. I feel dazed but happy...and really tired so tired I look over to the clock on the nightstand  its 5:30 AM no wonder. His bed is so big and cozy, a girl could get used to this. Joon comes back in the room in clean clothes carring some water and some snacks placing them on the nightstand then sitting on the bed looking at me, “ I have to head back. You can stay here and sleep come in when your ready.” he says as he caresses my hair. I didn’t realize I fell asleep till I woke up hours later in his room I actually thought it was a fever dream. Walking into the studio felt like I was doing a walk of shame down the halls. Walking into Joon’s studio was embarassing to say the least all of the boys were in there and them all stopped talking the look at me. Hobi had a shit eating grin and I knew that he knew not only from that but also from Namjoon’s red face and Jimin seeming mortified. Kookie started laughing, “ I guess we have a new couple.”

[gascon-en-exil]

Mercilessly Judging the Men of Fòdlan: The Alliance

It’s been a long time coming, over eight months in fact, but now that it may be assumed that the last of the DLC has been released and the fandom as a whole has settled comfortably into its various camps I think there’s no better time than now to answer that burning question: how raunchily, outrageously gay can the male cast of Three Houses possibly be? For those unfamiliar with this fun little series of mine, I’ve been applying my extensive knowledge and experience of gay male sex and hookup culture to the men of Fire Emblem, originally as a way of reckoning with the refusal of the games themselves to provide me with any worthwhile self-insert M/M content. I stand by that premise for FE16 - you all know how absolutely nothing appeals to me about m!Byleth or his prospects on that score - but in the years since my first outing of merciless judgment with Awakening that idea has expanded into something broader, an imaginative modern AU of sorts where all these guys are into men (if not always exclusively) and willing to put themselves out there in the lewd and semi-anonymous world of hookup apps in search of their preferred carnal delights.

A note on organization before we begin, as this material is too long to cram into one post. Excluding Byleth (as Avatars and their spawn always are for this project) there are twenty-one playable male characters in Three Houses. This makes for an even threeway division to preserve the eponymous conceit of the game, but not a particularly neat one. Aligned with the Leicester Alliance I therefore have below the male Deer, Almyran and former Goneril indentured servant Cyril, runaway Alliance noble Balthus, and Alois because his biography states that he’s the son of a merchant family. The Alliance is the nation most associated with successful mercantilism, so there.

The Empire

The Kingdom

Claude

Indecipherable from the start. The alluring shirtless selfie and goofy profile read like a fun and easy lay, but rather than sending nudes he engages in long meandering conversations that last for days or weeks before the first meeting. An expert at drawing people out while revealing almost nothing of himself in return, this takes on more literal dimensions when talk and pictures get more explicit; he’ll respond to dick and ass pics with vaguely positive emojis but deflect repeated requests to send some of his own, but he’s so disarmingly chatty that few guys get angry about this. In-person encounters are similarly frustrating in a way that’s hard to convey, as he’s eager to get his hookups naked and cumming via whatever method expedites the process with as little effort on his part. He’s left more than one satisfied but confused partner wondering some time after their meeting if he’s even really into guys at all, or if he’s playing out some weird service kink or vicarious voyeurism. Whatever the case he’s not much the dating type, not because he’s closeted or non-monogamous but because he has other priorities that don’t mesh well with long-term companionship. A shame too, when he’s become a permanent part of the masturbatory fantasies of many a man with whom he’s had even the briefest of encounters (particularly tops, who see in him a cocky bottom who desperately needs to get wrecked). That’s mostly all it is with him though: just fantasies, quick and dirty and unfulfilling because sex is apparently little more than a means for him to connect with people who may help him reach something bigger. Open-minded about his partners’ kinks, but is extremely touchy about race play; he’s aware that he has an ambiguous look about him, and does not appreciate anyone bringing that up even if the intention is completely innocent.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: your erogenous zones, your fetishes, your guilty pleasures

Favored gift: a lavish dinner, not for the expense but for the pleasure of sharing it

Lorenz

You may not like the hair, or the overwrought floral motif, or the polite but pointed way he pursues dates with the men he’s scoping out, but it’s undeniable that his reputation precedes him as someone who is known and who is worth knowing in the community. He’s not as slutty as that suggests, far from it, but he does enjoy his lunch dates and his inordinately expensive shopping dates and generally being as publicly social as it is humanly possible to be. Has an assortment of fem bottom BFFs on speed dial who are always up to the minute with him on social media, but it turns out he’s more versatile than his age and his...expressive fashion sense might imply. Would absolutely love a boyfriend, but judges all his dates in every aspect and considers least of all the size of their dick or what they know to do with it. It’s unusual for him to run across a guy who’s as well-educated and career-oriented as himself who also meets his admittedly snobbish criteria regarding class, and most of the time when he does they make better friends than marriage candidates. Cannot abide poor manners in or out of bed, and has corresponding expectations about proper condom use and prep (also PreP) and won’t hesitate to interrupt a makeout session with a lecture on not fingering him when he just ate an hour ago and he hasn’t had the chance to use an enema yet. Jock types do little for him, although he does have this one celebrity crush of that sort that he holds dear to his heart precisely because it will never, ever happen (although, he does happen to move in adjacent circles....). 

Favored erotic tea time subjects: office sex, hustlers, the tea itself...not like that

Favored gift: his crush’s contact info, also measurements if he can get them

Raphael

His selfies come in two varieties, gym and food, and this perfectly sums him up as a person and a friend and sexual partner. Sociable but not particularly quick-witted, his conversations are filled with emojis and exclamation points and it’s not very long before he’s making invitations to hang out at either his favorite fitness center or one of his many favorite restaurants. Don’t expect much from the latter however, as he favors quantity over quality. Is more or less the perfect boyfriend if you like them big and dumb, and on some level he knows this because he’s clearly comfortable with who he is and the goals he’s set for himself, both in body weight and in life in general. Even nicer, he likes skinny nerds just as much as he likes guys who can hold their own (or even surpass him) during workouts, and he’ll try just about anything once. Not the most skilled at topping or giving head or anything else that demands precision in action, but he’ll always give his best effort anyway. Besides, he makes a great bottom, with enough cushion and stamina to take a really hard pounding and jerk himself to completion in just about the time it takes for him to coax his partner to orgasm. A simple man with simple tastes and an insatiable appetite for food and pleasure and good company, and if it comes to it a sweet and devoted familial sort as well. Doesn’t have much of an imagination for kinks, but the person who shows him how to combine food with sex might be on the receiving end of a marriage proposal right then and there.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: sexy workouts, feeders, power bottoms

Favored gift: food, especially if you get into watching him eat it

Ignatz

Fucking an art student is always a unique experience, and he’s determined not to disappoint. More likely to share pictures of his latest projects than nudes up front, although he welcomes receiving them himself as he’s quick to explain that he draws his influence from all areas of his life. Has a particular fascination with the kind of unintentional eroticism found in certain religious art, which is more likely to be found quietly perplexing than offensive in hookup spaces. Is shy and relatively untested when it comes to sex, and as such he’s a natural fit for tops who love to break in new twinks. Said tops may have to put up with his request to sketch them in the bed or on his sofa afterwards though, because apparently the nude models in his classes just can’t compare to the men who ten minutes prior had their dicks in him. As he gets older and acquires more familiarity with the medium he’ll start to gravitate more toward guys of a similar age and disposition as himself, who can be subjects for his art without the constant demanding to get off. (They still get off with him of course, but he has trouble convincing the less understanding that that’s not his first priority.) Sometimes too he’ll just want someone to cuddle with and tell him that he’s good at what he does and isn’t making any questionable life choices. However, with art being the uncertain career that it is he may find himself one day having to reconcile himself to a sugar daddy to spare him from a mind-numbing day job - or worse, admitting to whatever disapproving relation(s) he’s got that he screwed up his professional prospects and isn’t doing so hot in the dating scene either. Never quite loses his mawkishness in bed, but hopefully he’ll get past his public anxieties with a bit more success. Is not really into the gym bunny types, although they love him to death and he has to admit that all that toned musculature is easy to work with. Keeps the glasses on during sex, or at least until he has an accident with them.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: artistic nudes, sexy statuary, missionary (he likes to watch the top)

Favored gift: a set of professionally done nude selfies, for modeling

Alois

A loving and devoted husband and father, he’s only in the app space because a friend made a joke about them and he just had to check it out. Utterly clueless on the terminology and the rules of etiquette, such as they are, for a place where it’s considered perfectly acceptable to begin conversation with a picture of your erect cock. Needless to say he completely misunderstands the term “daddy” in this context, thinking it naturally applied to him without being aware of all the horny twinks that would be hitting him up as a result. Will eventually be prodded, laughing and blushing the whole time, into taking and sharing some mildly saucy selfies, and the boys go wild for his literal dad bod and hair in just the right places (including on his face; the handlebar variation is a few decades out of date, but that just makes him more endearing in a dorky retro way). It’s not clear initially whether he’s even attracted to men, but after a few months of chatting and swapping pics and perhaps furtively jerking off to the ones he gets he might agree to a discreet encounter or two. Well, they would be discreet if he weren’t always so loud, and if he didn’t always resist everyone’s immediate impulse to shove a dick in his mouth just to get him to shut up by coming up with yet another dumb joke. Doesn’t get much further than the idea of oral anyway, as he’s not the most sexual guy to start with and he can’t quite get past the immature giggling over ass play. Not a bad jerkoff buddy when it’s all said and done provided you can stand all the puns, nor is he all that bad to look at or cuddle with afterwards once he figures out that guys like his hugs too. One can only wonder what his wife thinks of all this.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: (bad) sex jokes, porn, glory holes

Favored gift: links to daddy porn, so he’ll finally figure it out

Cyril

Born into a rough background and forced to get by in some difficult circumstances has left him hardworking to a fault - emphasis on “fault.” His greatest act of teenage rebellion was to be aggressively not rebellious, and he still hasn’t grown out of that mentality as he’s quick to scorn his more carefree and hedonistic peers and wouldn’t even be on the apps at all were he not so privately, guiltily horny all the time. As may be expected this mentality wins him few admirers and even fewer friends, of any age, the more so because he’s inexperienced and still figuring out exactly what he wants from a sexual encounter. Will bottom but has a complex about the implications, but unfortunately most of the guys willing to hook up with him are tops and expect to get it in at least for a little while. Manages better when it comes to swapping head, having experimented with his more adventurous friends in school. His fastidiousness and unusually good eyesight lead him to subconsciously fixate on his partners’ minor bodily blemishes, and since pointing those out never goes over well he’s taking to prefer sex in the dark. He’s absolutely not looking for a daddy and is annoyed at the suggestion, just as much as he’s annoyed by guys who try to turn pillow talk into impromptu therapy sessions regarding his past. Will take a few more years and probably some time away at school to properly find his footing; there’s a no-nonsense if slightly insecure top buried under the fading twinkish exterior, and provided he learns out to mellow out a bit he could be quite popular one day.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: circle jerks, docking, race play (which he feels guilty about)

Favored gift: a cock ring, for those size woes 

Balthus

He was on the wrestling team in school and acquired a notable reputation for his strength and skill in a brawl, although it was also at this time that he realized he was getting hard every time he would throw down with another guy. Deflects this with an exaggerated womanizing demeanor and a blank profile announcing only that he’s looking and saving even the headless torso shot - impressive though that shot is - for messaging. Gets handjobs and blowjobs and occasionally tops, all NSA and very discreet, but his internalized insecurities fortunately do not extend to his partners. This is probably because his preferred types are either closeted muscle bros like himself or self-confident young bottoms with no patience to take anything from him except a hard fuck and a thick load. His awkward younger days will be long past him before he learns to open up to anything more than that, and even then it’s unlikely that he’ll be very relationship-minded. Has to be educated by more experienced partners on lube and prepping a bottom, and it’ll take a lot of drinks and a lot of convincing to get him to try eating ass (he will though, eventually). Bottoming himself is out of the question except perhaps with the most dedicated of vers guys, but put him on the mat with another total top and there are good odds that someone’s going to end up penetrated before it’s over. Speaking of odds, is terrible with money and not domestic in the slightest, but he’s got a rich family that he can theoretically fall back on in a pinch. Not really boyfriend material, more like the ideal perpetually naked roommate with wandering eyes and a boundless libido.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: erotic wrestling, dirty talk, praise kink

Favored gift: a harness and matching jockstrap, he’s got a thing for gear

[cat-brodsky]

The Secret History: Abridged (part 1)

Fair use disclaimer: The following text is intended as a parody and literary commentary of the published book “The Secret History” by Donna Tartt. Some direct quotations from the book, constituting a very low percentage of the original, have been integrated in the parodic text where appropriate. The author of this text neither profits nor intends to profit from it.

Dramatis personae

Richard Papen, the narrator, a perpetually starry-eyed youth with all the agency of the proverbial sexy lamp

Julian Morrow (played by King Julian of Madagaskar), a Greek professor who doesn’t actually teach

         The Toffs, as viewed through Richard’s rose-tinted glasses:

Henry Winter, a young genius, deeply devoted to Julian

Bunny Corcoran, an uncouth older student with a heart of gold deep inside

Francis Abernathy, a refined yet sensitive youth

Charles Macaulay, a young man who sometimes has a bit too much to drink

Camilla Macaulay, an exquisite beauty, the only girl in the clique

Judy Poovey, the only character in the book with both brains and heart

Georges “I told you so” Laforgue

the greek chorus (played by a person in a floral bedsheet toga with two sockpuppets)

The Fans, seated in the front row of the audience

The farmer, brutally murdered by four rich kids on a drug trip

     Chapter 1, in which Richard joins a cult (and the greek chorus monologues)

Richard: My name is Richard Pipen and I like pretty things. Maybe that’s cause my childhood was real poor and real awful.

Richard: I even picked Hampden College cause it looked pretty in the recruitment brochure. I have no friends, I failed pre-med, and the only thing I’m okay at is Greek language. …Guess I’ll take Greek.

Georges (the French teacher): Monsieur, I’m afraid zat will be a problem. You see, ze Greek teacher is incredibly… selective about his students. And by selective, I mean on a personal level.

Richard: oh, so he’s gay.

Georges: Non! He isolates his students, he grooms them to have ze same views as himself, and ze only reason ze school puts up with him is because he refuses his salary!

Richard: I dunno, my dad beat me before and after dinner, so this sounds perfectly healthy to me. Guess I’ll go knock on his door.

    Richard: knocks on Julian’s door …Please let me study Greek.

Julian: Why, that’s rather quaint of you, young man, but I’m afraid my class is filled to the brim. Only got space for five people, you see. Very rigorous, that. Anyway, excuse me, I have a princess to tutor. Istrami royalty, though I don’t assume you would know. pauper

Richard: But-

door slam

    Henry and the Four Toffs: stroll the campus, looking pretty

Richard: drools

But I watched them with interest whenever I happened to see them: Francis, stooping to talk to a cat on a doorstep; Henry dashing past at the wheel of a little white car, with Julian in the passenger’s seat; Bunny leaning out of an upstairs window to yell something at the twins on the lawn below. Slowly, more information came my way. Francis Abernathy was from Boston and, from most accounts, quite wealthy. Henry, too, was said to be wealthy; what’s more, he was a linguistic genius. He spoke a number of languages, ancient and modern, and had published a translation of Anacreon, with commentary, when he was only eighteen. The twins had an apartment off campus, and were from somewhere down south. And Bunny Corcoran had a habit of playing John Philip Sousa march tunes in his room, at full volume, late at night.

Not to imply that I was overly preoccupied with any of this.

the greek chorus: yeah riiight

Richard: totally not eavesdropping on The Four Toffs studying Greek

Bunny: Ablative!

Charles: That’s Latin, you dumb-

Richard: Excuse me? I’m sorry, but would the locative case do?

Bunny: Thanks, man, you helped a lot. Wish you were in our class.

awkward silence

Henry, appearing out of nowhere: Ah, yes, the archaic locative. Are you a Homeric scholar?

Richard: …I like Homer.

Henry: Oh, you “like” Homer? Name all the 1,186 ships in the Catalogue.

Henry: fake fans smh

    Richard: All my life, I’ve dealt with poor jerks, so dealing with rich jerks sounded way more appealing. I figured I’d do what worked with my old man - lie my ass off. Excuse me, Dr. Roland, I need uh two hundred dollars from my financial aid? It’s for my uh car, it’s the uh transmission.

the greek chorus: that’s 548 dollars in 2020 money. also, is everyone in this book named after a historical figure?

Richard: knocks on Julian’s door again, having bought one hundred [274] dollars’ worth of expensive clothes

Julian: Oh my, and to think I mistook you for a peasant the first time. Come in, young man - any relation to French kings? Are you from California? What do you do in California?

Richard: Oh, you know… money, orange groves, money, ennui and more money - wow, he’s actually buying it.

Julian: Even Plato knew that class and conditioning and so forth have an inalterable effect on the individual. cough that’s why I only tutor rich and classy students. cough I’m afraid my students are never very interesting to me because I always know exactly what they’re going to do.

the greek chorus: fly, you fool

Richard: listens with stars in his eyes

Julian: Young man, I will take you on as a student, but you must take me on as your academic counselor, drop all your classes and pick up the ones I tell you to. Most of them are going to be with me - you know, a great diversity of teachers is harmful for the young mind.

Richard: Oh wow, that sounds elite and exclusive and totally not like a weird cult.

    Georges “The Voice of Reason” Laforgue: Mon Dieu, are you serious? Do you understand how isolated you’ll be from ze rest of ze college? What if you have a disagreement? What if he is unfair to you? And this man is so elitist - why, that’s ze first time he’s accepted a student on financial aid! …Does he know you’re on financial aid?

Richard: I’m not gonna tell him.

the greek chorus: annnd he switches majors

    Francis: Cubitum eamus?

Richard: what? who?

the greek chorus: did he just say “Wanna fu-”

The Fans: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohh!

Bunny: Get a load of this guy. Henry actually bought himself a Montblanc pen just cause Julian loves them. And he used to say they were ugly. What was it, three hundred [822] bucks?

Henry: You “studied” Greek? Recite every single Greek poem.

Henry: fake fans smh. Now I’ll speak Latin and flex on you some more.

Bunny: Don’t be a prick, Henry.

Julian, coming in fashionably late:

He was a marvelous talker, a magical talker, and I wish I were able to give a better idea what he said, but it is impossible for a mediocre intellect to render the speech of a superior one – especially after so many years – without losing a good deal in the translation.

the greek chorus: do you know what it means when someone talks big and beautiful and yet you can’t remember the talking points? means they’re talking nonsense

Julian: Though after all your Xenophon and Thucydides I dare say there are not many young people better versed in military tactics. Because, as you know, ancient Greek battle tactics are still valid in our modern age! Do you feel sufficiently special and superior, my lab m- lovely students?

Henry: The six of us could conquer Hampden town!

the greek chorus: this is new england, you’d get shot like deer

Richard, stars in his eyes: Awwwww he said six of us!

Camilla: recites from Aganemnnon

How quiet he sinks now - his soul starts from his mouth:

with one jerked gulp he brings up his own blood,

spatters me dark with the scarlet dew in his breath.

And that dew falls on me as the gods’ spring rains

fall and bless harvest back to the long-parched earth.

Julian: Now, why is this so beautiful?

the greek chorus: cause there’s no mention of the dying king voiding his bowels

Francis: It’s the meter - iambic pentameter.

The Greek Chorus: In a way, the discussion that follows is some pretty hefty foreshadowing. The subject is horrible - a dying man gurgling, choking on blood, spits it out all over his killer - but the way it’s described is poetic and makes the reader enamored with the act of murder.

This is exactly what Tartt does later on.

Five rich, entitled young people have a drug-fueled orgy, trespass, and beat an innocent farmer to death. But call an orgy a bacchanal, and it’s suddenly classy and beautiful.

Henry: Death is the mother of beauty.

The Fans: oooooooooooohhh!

Julian: And what is beauty?

Henry: Terror.

The Fans: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!

the greek chorus: this toxic belief is so not gonna backfire

“Are we, in this room, really very different from the Greeks or the Romans? Obsessed with duty, piety, loyalty, sacrifice? All those things which are to modern tastes so chilling?”

I looked around the table at the six faces. To modern tastes they were somewhat chilling. I imagine any other teacher would’ve been on the phone to Psychological Counseling in about five minutes had he heard what Henry said about arming the Greek class and marching into Hampden town.

the greek chorus: richard, you idiot sandwich

Julian: The Romans’ genius and fatal flaw was their obsession with order! The Greeks knew not to deny the irrational! This is why Romans, usually so tolerant of foreign religions, persecuted the Christians mercilessly – how absurd to think a common criminal had risen from the dead, how appalling that his followers celebrated him by drinking his blood. The illogic of it frightened them-

The Greek Chorus: The Romans valued loyalty to the state, which meant practicing the state religion. Local beliefs were okay as long as they didn’t contradict that.

Christians placed their god, monotheistic God, above the emperor. The First Commandment forbids the worship of other gods, and this includes refusing to take part in feasts, to offer incense to the emperor - this was disloyalty to the Empire. Judaism, it seems, got a pass on the same because of the ancient origin of the religion.

Furthermore, the persecution of Christianity was sporadic until Decius’ decree mandating participation in public sacrifices, and even then this edict was not universally obeyed - the Empire was far too large and too diverse. Not to mention, a lot of the accounts of persecution and martyrdom were invented by Christian historians.

Julian is full of it, and a five minute Google search can tell you as much.

Richard: wow, #deep

Julian: …And that’s why Bacchanals are good fun for the whole family!

    Chapter 2, in which Bunny invites Richard to dinner (and then nothing happens)

Judy: So you’re hanging out with those posh guys now?

Richard: What if I am

Judy: I don’t know, they’re bad news. Like, I was at a party, everyone was slam dancing, and this girl was walking across the dance floor for some reason and got mad when I slammed into her. And like I threw a beer at her, it was that kind of night, and this Henry guy and her brother Charles came to yell at me? And my friend Spike saw that and came to defend me, and then Henry and Charles beat Spike to a pulp. Those people are crazy.

Richard, stars in his eyes: Gee whiz, Henry is badass.

Judy: Aren’t you hot in this tweed jacket? Like, here, you can have another one for free if you like it.

    Bunny: Nice jacket, dude

Richard: Thanks, it’s a family relic

Bunny: Anyway, why are there so many [slur omitted] working in restaurants? Oh man, I remember when we pulled a dine and dash here, all in good fun, and then Dad took us here for drinks and it’s a good thing he was so soused he didn’t notice the waiter putting it all on his bill.

the greek chorus: boy, it sure is a good thing the cops don’t get called on rich people

Bunny: And Henry’s so damn smart, you know? He was in a bad car accident, had to stay in bed reading all those old books, and now he’s really into it and he speaks seven to eight languages, even reads them hieroglyphics.

Richard: well, Bunny’s kind of an ass but he’s not an ass to me, sounds good

Bunny: Whoops, forgot my wallet.

Richard: …never mind

the greek chorus: the bill is, quote, two hundred and eighty-seven dollars and fifty-nine cents [786 dollars]. without the tip. twenty percent more is about tree fiddy [950 dollars]

Bunny: …I’ll call Henry. He’ll be chuffed to bail us out.

Henry: is not chuffed Bunny freeloads off people all the time.

Richard: wow that’s… imagine doing that haha

    Richard: totally not eavesdropping again

Henry: Should I do what is necessary?

Julian: You should only, ever, do what is necessary.

the greek chorus: this will definitely not be taken at face value

    if richard had a tweeter

“Reading The Great Gatsby. #relatable #billionaire-life”

“Attended a party, mingled with the hoi polloi. Plebs. How I long to be elsewhere.”

    Camilla: Come to the country house with us

Richard: totally not freeloading

    if the secret history was a movie

Happy times montage. Classical music plays over the country house; it is revealed that Charles, quite drunk but still composed, is playing the piano. Henry and Camilla are in a rowboat together, with Henry monologuing, unheard to the viewers, as she listens with rapt wonder. Bunny is pouring champaigne from a teapot. Occasional moments of foreshadowing in between the happy times - a pot of laurel leaves boiling on the stove, Richard wandering the house in the middle of the night and finding that everyone is gone - and back to happy times, playing cricket, fancy dinners with Julian. Everything looks pretty, classy, and expensive.

    Chapter 3, in which Richard is more an idiot than usual

The Five Toffs: leave for the winter holidays

Richard: I need a place to stay. Henry’s place is empty, I could ask my other friends to sublet to me, or split the bills with somebody… Nah, there’s this hippie who lets you live for free in his warehouse. I’m in.

The warehouse: literally has a hole in the roof

The Hippie: It’s all a metaphor, man. The situation is obviously dysfunctional, but Richie boy just assumes that it’s normal and he’s gonna be fine. Deep, man.

Richard: I’m sure I’ll be fine. gets pneumonia

Henry: Good thing I came back early, or you’d be dead.

Richard: Y-you saved my life, man. …Can you please bring me a mag to read?

Henry: …You must be raving. Here, I brought you a Pharmacology Update from the lounge.

    Bunny: comes back

Henry: is avoiding him

the greek chorus: that’s all, really

    Chapter 4, in which something finally happens

Bunny: Richard, man, Henry is not who he pretends to be. Be careful.

Richard: You mean, he’s gay? That can’t be right. My gaydar says it’s Francis; Henry’s straight. And I’m not gay, but if I was, Bunny wouldn’t be attractive. I mean, he’s handsome, but he’s rough trade, you know what I mean. Not my type.

    Richard: Oh no, I left my book in Henry’s apartment. I’ll have to find it there. …Weird, why does he have a flight to Argentina reserved? And why were the four of them, minus Bunny, absent from classes?

cheesecake in the fridge: please don’t steal me, I’m on financial aid

Bunny: Mm, too lemony but tastes better flavored with tears.

Richard: Haha, screw the poor

Bunny: Man, Henry’s a bit of a Jew. I like him tho.

    Bunny: keeps making weird crime-and-punishment jokes before class

Richard: Good old Bunny, such a jester.

The Toffs: tell a weirdly rehearsed story about their absence

Julian: notices absolutely nothing

    Henry: Don’t you want to know about our trip to Argentina? By which I mean, I know you snooped.

Richard: Man, why the secrecy? It’s not like you murdered someone.

Henry: Yeah, about that...

flashback time

Henry: The four of us must flee to Argentina. But there’s no way I can get my hands on more than thirty thousand [80,418 dollars]. Francis, you have a trust, right?

Francis: Yeah, I can withdraw one hundred and fifty thousand [402,090] a year. ...Bad news, my mum cleared it out.

The Toffs, in unison: What? Do you mean we’d have to live like the poor? Or worse, resort to menial labor? That is inconceivable.

the greek chorus: and they didn’t go to argentina.

Henry: We had but a meager five thousand [13,403 dollars] between us. Anyway, why did you cover up for us?

Richard:

Henry: So yeah we decided to take drugs, party, and fornicate, like everybody else in this college does. Except we’re rich and smart and we’re calling it a bacchanal, because it’s classier that way.

Henry: Julian knew and approved, by the way, but you’re not gonna learn this until chapter five.

Henry: And Bunny just wasn’t taking our posh rave seriously. I caught him eating when he was supposed to be fasting. Barbarian.

Henry: Anyway, when we all came down from our trip, we were drenched in blood and there was a corpse of a middle-aged middle-class man with his neck broken and his brains splattered and a huge gash in his stomach. And worse, he was wearing an ugly plaid shirt.

Henry: I haven’t been so upset since I hit a deer with my car. Oh, hi, Francis.

    Chapter 5, in which we forget about the farmer

Francis: oh no did you just tell him

Henry: Oh yes I did.

Richard, still starry-eyed: Why didn’t you call the police?

Henry: Yeah, right. We’re too rich to be judged by poor people.

Francis: It was just an accident, a little harmless fun.

Henry: Imagine being tried for my life by a Vermont circuit-court judge and a jury box full of telephone operators.

Francis: They’d just say that we are a bunch of rich entitled kids who got high and trespassed on private land and tore an innocent man to pieces.

the greek chorus: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID

Henry: If Bunny snitches, we’re dragging him in too. He has no alibi. Can’t prove he wasn’t with us. He saw us dressed in bedsheets and covered in gore and got upset for no reason at all. Dropped a pint of ice-cream on my antique rug. Honestly, that was the last straw.

Henry: I paid for our trip together in Italy to shut him up, but then he found my diary - in which I happened to write a poem about our Bacchanal in iambic pentameter. I didn’t think the rube could even read. I slapped him rather hard, and he took offense to that. And now we have no choice but keep letting him mooch off us!

Francis: It's a terrible thing, what we did. I mean, this man was not Voltaire we killed. But still. It's a shame. I feel bad about it.

Henry: But not bad enough to want to go to jail for it.

Francis: snorts No, not that bad.

Henry: So... wanna play cards?

    the greek chorus: here comes a turning point in the story. will richard do the moral thing, will he turn his friends in?

the greek chorus: yeah, right

    The Toffs: Time for a road trip!

Richard: It’s odd how little power the dead farmer exercised over an imagination as morbid and hysterical as my own. Oh well, nobody cares about poor people.

Julian: In America, the rich man tries to pretend that the poor man is his equal in every respect but money, which is simply not true. A poor man who wishes to rise above his station is only making himself needlessly miserable. And the wise poor have always known this, the same as do the wise rich.

Bunny: You don't care about a goddamn thing, do you? Not a thing but your own self, you and all the rest of them!

the greek chorus: edmund corcoran, the bigot, the idiot of the group - the only one who cares about the murder

  Richard: And now Bunny’s acting like a huge ass to me and to my friends. Gee, that’s no fun at all.

Richard: He’s nagging Charles about him being a drunk, Francis about him being gay, and me about being poor! And Camilla about being a girl, but women are inherently inferior in Greek language, nothing personal. And he’s implying the twins sleep together!

the greek chorus: all of these are true

    Henry: I know! I shall poison my traitorous friend with death cap mushrooms mixed in with fun trip mushrooms. The ancient Arabic treatises on poisons must still be relevant.

the greek chorus: textbook high Intelligence low Wisdom

Henry: Richard, my friend, weren’t you in pre-med?

Richard: Uhh I guess, let me just... add the number of mushrooms, carry the one - jeez, that’s some advanced calculus...You know, the concentrations in chemistry are measured in moles, so we have catch a mole first...

Henry: I tested it on two dogs. Sadly, one lived.

Richard: Oh, Henry, you’re such a rascal. First a farmer, now a dog? Anyway,   those mushrooms are just too funny-shaped. It’s just too hard.

Henry: Why don’t you weigh - you know what, nevermind, I can see I’m dealing with a genius.

    Julian: I’m so concerned for young Edmund! He’s such a lovely and smart boy...

Richard: yeah, right - I mean, bright. Very bright.

Julian: I fear he may be about to convert to Christianity! Not even Catholicism, but something plebian. He keeps asking me about sin and forgiveness - how very... not Greek of him.

    Bunny, piss drunk in the middle of the night: Richard, man, I can’t take it, I just have to confess - they killed a man! Tore him to pieces!

Richard: Guys, this is bad, Bunny just told me.

Henry: Welp, got no choice but to kill him. He’s acting so irrational.

Richard: Yeah, and he’s been real racist and bigoted lately -

Charles: I know, right? Why can’t he be more like us and hate on poor, classless people instead?

Henry: re-rolls wisdom We’ll push him into the ravine in the forest he conveniently loves hiking in. Piece of cake.

     Judy: Rich, there’s gonna be a big party, come have fun!

Henry: Who’d have known there would be a party? Aside from, I mean, everyone who doesn’t live in their own Greek bubble. Oh well, guess I’ll dig for ferns instead.

Bunny: Hey, guys, whatcha doing?

Henry: Oh, you know... killing time. Now, who wants to see a flying rabbit?

[deanie1987]

THE WEDDING POST!!!!!!!

Okay, I have now watched the episode in full like 8 times and it has been absorbed into my bloodstream and I feel stable enough to finally comment on it. For the most part I loved it and it delivered nearly everything that I wanted, even if it was delivered differently than I hoped for/imagined. There were definitely some missed opportunities I thought, but there really was nothing that I outright hated and I was pleasantly surprised for the majority of the episode. Here are some random thoughts as I was watching:

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - Lip chewing gum is hot as fuck

- I knew I was in for a special episode when Ian showed up in a towel followed shortly by Mickey in a towel. They have been hiding Mickey’s thicc sixpack all season and unveiled it here as wedding gift to the viewers.

- Cam’s line reading of “Mickey” when Liam asked who was going to wear white, sweet baby jesus. Why does it always sound so good coming out of his mouth?

- I love all the brother scenes. Carl clipping his toenails, Ian griping and then Carl wiping them on the floor was hilarious. Although considering it was his room, what does Ian care? But I love that he did. Very anal (no pun intended) big brother vibe there. Liam hightailing it out of the room the second Mickey walked in and headed toward Ian was a mood. The shit this poor boy has seen.

- I also loved everyone asking Ian about his meds, especially Carl. That really got to me for some reason, as did everyone giving the reason that it was going to be a stressful day. Like they weren’t asking to be assholes, they were just concerned and wanted him to have a good day. Little did they know how stressful. I liked that Ian didn’t get made, but you could still sense a tiny bit of annoyance.

- My second notice that this would be a different kind of episode was Mickey asking if Ian took his meds and then touching him gently under the chin and saying “good” in a very, very deep and low voice. Um....holy shit that was beyond sexy to me for some reason. Like I almost felt like I was intruding. The way Ian’s eyes were fixed seemingly on his chest/tattoo and then the way Mickey forced him to look up at him.  Wow. Ahem.

- Ian obviously thought it was sexy as fuck too because he yanked him by the hips and grunted and pulled him in for some more caresses. So yeah, this was a lot different than the “hey what’s up bro?” scenes we had been getting. I mean there wasn’t a tongue kiss, but I appreciated it. I also appreciated that Mickey and Ian had no problem not only seeing each other before the wedding but showering together and messing around too. Poor Carl, he needs to take not of Liam’s reaction. 

- Along these sexy lines, there is no way that anyone should find the violent biting/hitting scenes sexy. Like no way that Ian saying “you gonna make me hit you again?” and manhandling Mickey’s wrists to the ground and saying “you done?” in a softer voice while straddling him and then throwing the gun to Carl and telling him to get the cuffs, was sexy. And it definitely wasn’t sexy that Mickey finally calmed down and looked right into Ian’s eyes and nodded. Like, no way, we shouldn’t be romanticizing that shit. Okay? Ok. Ahem. Ha Ha 😅

- I could not survive Kev’s keg boot camp, but I will take his comment about Depeche Mode-loving Gen Xers” as a personal shout out because I put their song “Somebody” at the very top of my Gallavich playlist. It is the cheesiest, sappiest song known to man and my girlfriends and I would play it on repeat and get weepy in high school. And it fits Ian and Mickey perfectly and even out cheeses that Ed Sheeran song. See Gen X can do more than irony.

- Obviously I loved Mickey’s handcuffed speech, but I wish that there had been a reference to that terrible cursed episode in season 3. Not the rape, but the fact that Terry forced Mickey to marry a woman and that it basically ruined their lives and set Ian and Mickey on a destructive course. Nearly everything that they went through started with that terrible day. It was definitely subtly reference and I definitely think that Ian was thinking of it, but I wish it had been stated more clearly.

- I love that Sandy was wiling to go to jail to get Mickey his wedding. I love that Debbie was possibly willing to marry Mickey to get him his wedding as well. I definitely loved all of the Gallaghers rallying around to help.

- The tie scene was beyond cute and this was the kind of scene we have been waiting for and both Cam and Noel delivered. I love how sincere Mickey was in this episode and how straightforward and reverent this conversation was. The kid conversation, Ian telling Mickey exactly what he wants and Mickey revising his statement in response. It was a perfect statement and this scene was so intimate. I truly didn’t think we would get this before the wedding so I’m thrilled that we did.

- Why does everyone keep referencing the combination of Mickey and Ian’s genes? Do they know where babies come from? Have they read too many Mpregs? 

- I loved the shot of them first arriving and the mention of the chairs. Mickey’s “I like how the gold captures the light” made me giddy. Then the long shot of them sort of taking in their surroundings and the impact of the day. The other shot I liked was them at the alter with a bit of the “deer in the headlights” look. You got me John Wells, you sneaky bastard.

- I loved everything about Kevin this episode even if it is beyond tacky to propose at someone else’s wedding.

- I had to mute the Gay Jesus crows singing “We Shall Overcome” because ugh and cringe, but Ian having a cult at his disposal may come in handy someday. I hope he thanked them and let them glory in his presence for a little bit. I also liked that Carl and Geneva were so familiar with one another. Lol.

- All of Ian’s interactions with his siblings were perfect. I wanted but didn’t get a scene of Ian asking Lip to be best man and also a best man speech (or any speech for that matter) but the “soft motherfucker” scene was adorable and very moving. I love that the only person besides Mickey that we have every seen Ian say ILY to was Lip.  That is pretty appropriate and the kisses were sweet too. I, too, am a soft motherfucker and that swell of music to At Last got me. 

- I liked how nervous Mickey was walking down the aisle, and I was happy that Sandy was there for him. But I sort of felt that him walking down the aisle on someone’s arm was a little too “bride” for me and I think I would have preferred to see him walk down the aisle by himself while grinning and walking his patented BDE Mickey walk. But his solemnity and serious was an unexpected choice and I appreciate them going with it.

- FRANK!!!!  Oh my god that’s where my tears started. I was really hoping for a Frank/Ian scene but his tears will have to do. Wow, I just wish that Ian could have seen them. The utter disdain the two have for one another usually makes me laugh, but it felt wrong to me in this episode, at least from Frank’s side, so I was glad that it seemed that Frank’s emotion got the better of him. I definitely think that the spectre of Monica had something to do with it, but it was there.

- SPEAKING OF MONICA...wahhhhh!  My favorite scene I think. It is no surprise that it comes when Ian is watching Frank and is sitting next to Debbie. I”ve already said this before but Debbie was the perfect person for Ian to talk to about this. I love how Ian still calls Monica “mom” and Debbie still called her Monica. And she was right, Monica would have loved everything about that day. Emma Kinney did a remarkable job in that scene, and she looked beautiful. The chemistry of the actors was palpable and it was just so nice to see. I also loved Ian’s slight laugh as he felt himself tearing up and then his choked voice as he said he should dance with his husband. Waahhh. Followed by Debbie’s sweet, sweet smile and then Ian finding Mickey, who had been dancing adorably and looking around for his boy. Then the way that Ian clung to him and collapsed into him, while the perfect and cheesy song played.  WAHHHHH!!!

- Also can we give it for Debbie yet again. Not only did she miss the ceremony in order to save the day, but she missed Franny walking down the aisle.  That is commitment and sacrifice and we appreciate it!

-I had hoped for personal vows, but I am at least glad that they recited them and didn’t just say “I do.” Once again, Mickey’s earnestness and seriousness surprised and delighted me, 

- I loved Ian grabbing Carl on his walk down the aisle. As I mentioned, every scene of Ian and his siblings was character appropriate and I loved this one too.

- Them having 120 people at the wedding was kind of dumb and ridiculous, but I did appreciate how true to life the variety of outfits was at such an event. From ripped jeans to gold lame dresses LOL. 

- That last scene of them was cute too. The hand holding, the nudity, the TATTOO again and Ian’s hand hovering near it. Mickey caressing and pinching Ian’s arm, their TWO rings, the hideous room and their tired, happy, sleepy voices. Perfection. I don’t love how Terry’s murderous rage is somewhat played for laughs, but I admit that I did kind of chuckle at their expressions when they heard the tires screech and then the last shot of them looking at one another while the jaunty music cut in. It was very, very, very much like a rom-com.

So there was a lot to absolutely love this episode, but there were a few missed opportunities as well.  I mentioned the lack of personal vows/family speeches and lack of any significant Frank/Ian interaction, but other than that the only thing that really bothered me was the lack of any Fiona or Mandy mention. That was actually a huge missed statement and it would have been easy to do. I find it more believable that Fiona would miss the wedding than Mandy, but to not mention either of them was a bad move, IMO. I liked Sandy and the role she played, but she doesn’t make me forget Mandy, show. And the lack of Fiona mention just makes me think JW was being petty toward ER.  But beyond that, THEY ARE MARRIED AND HAPPY AND SUPPORTED BY A LOT OF PEOPLE!!!  HALLELUJAH AND PRAISE GAY JESUS!!!

[packsbeforesnacks]

Zip Zap Zop || Blanche & Winn

TIMING: Friday, October 11th, 2019, Midday LOCATION: UMWC PARTIES: @harlowhaunted​ & @packsbeforesnacks​ SUMMARY: Winn makes his first friend (?) in White Crest. Oh God, Blanche has AirPods in. She can’t hear us! WARNINGS: None.

“—don’t think you can ignore me young lady! Blanche! I am speaking to you!” Blanche guessed that ignoring the ghost of her great-grandmother was probably some cardinal sin or something, but she was going on and on about things that just didn’t matter. Like her class load for the semester or how she was still an accounting major or how the boots she was wearing wasn’t appropriate for October (for some reason). Blanche was not going to get caught speaking to a ghost today. Everyone already thought she talked to herself, and she wasn’t really in the mood to pull an excuse out of her ass. She just wanted to go to class, take her test, and go home so she could nap before going to the night shift at Mooseventures. She was unwinding her headphones as she sped-walked through campus. “Blanche! Don’t you dare!” Oh, she dared. She shoved her earbuds in her ear and immediately blasted the first song she could find on her Spotify. Looked like Billie Ellish was what she was going with. Of course, she could still see Granny, and had to sidestep her a few times to ignore the unpleasant bone-chilling sensation she would get if she walked through a ghost. Sure, it looked a little ridiculous, like she was constantly trying to walk on something very specific, but she didn’t give a shit because she was just focused on four things. Class, test, home, nap. Class, test, home, nap. Class, test, home, nap. Class, test, home, nap.

Fridays had always been Winn’s favorite part of the school week, especially once he’d gotten to college. Drinking on Thursday nights with his packmates and waking up with nothing to do other than plan a party or a prowl had been a highlight of his years as an upperclassmen. Graduate school, Winn was finding, had a much more regular rhythm to it. He could manage to get his schedule to end early enough — there was no chance of him going furry in the middle of an Abnormal Psych lecture — but he and his attention span were doomed to fight through Friday classes. That struggle was all the worse this close to a Full Moon, when the wolf wanted nothing more than to tear Professor Rafferty limb from limb for no reason other than Rafferty looking like a snack — and not the sexy kind. But sweet freedom was in his clutches now, as he jogged towards the parking lot. Winn was getting some strange looks from undergrads for his mid-October clothing choices. Most of them had retreated into at least a loose jacket, some into sweaters. Winn had enough body heat running through him from his other half, thanks, and would wear a tanktop until the moment the odd looks turned into thinly-veiled suspicion. Winn had somewhat of a reputation, back home anyway, for his allergy to covering his arms or legs. He’d only recently switched into tanks and jean shorts, evolving from the crop tops and athletic shorts that were often still too hot for him in Virginia summers. Maine was cooler, sure, but not by that much. Winn stopped to stretch his calf out on the edge of a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. But as he leaned down, he noticed two things in rapid succession: first, that a blonde girl had just wandered past him and into the crosswalk and, second, that a university bus was coming fast down the street. Shit.

That was the thing about university buses. Did they care about speed limits? No. Did they care about students? No. In fact, more often than not, students could be seen hauling ass after one that had just closed its doors on them. Blanche had been there once or twice before she just gave up. Her car was easier, or even her bike when her car decided it was too good to work. Blanche was determined to ignore Granny and just stay listening to her music in peace. Except, as she sidestepped a guy (who had to be cold from how he was dressed. Then again, she shouldn't judge him, the bitter cold hadn't sunk into Maine yet. But, as Game of Thrones was fond of saying, winter was coming), Blanche had managed to wander right out into the middle of the road when it wasn’t her turn to walk. This hadn't been the first time something like this had happened. Usually it was for the same reason: trying to get the hell away from ghosts. She was lucky she hadn’t been hit yet. Blanche, though, had never walked in front of a bus. Granny’s screech of warning caused her phone to go on the fritz, and just as she looked up to start yelling, she saw the bus. Not only was there not enough time to move anyway, she was rooted to the spot. Frozen, like a deer in the headlights. At least I won't have to take my test or go to work, her mind cruelly supplied. “Oh fu—”

This was why he had to let the wolf out more often, actually! The proximity to the full moon was causing him to be sloppy and adventurous. Normally, he could work off the excess energy in the woods, but he’d been so, so busy. So, when Winn saw a person in danger, he leapt to action. Later, he would say he knew it must’ve looked strange, from the outside, when he bent the rest of the way down and ran at the girl on all fours, but, as he’d argue, he was already so close to the ground and he was faster on his hands and feet — his paws — than he’d ever be on two legs. In the time it would take him to bend back up and bolt into the street, the girl would lose precious time. ‘Course, he wasn’t much thinking about this at the time, his brain mostly concerned with blaring “DANGER” since he was, pretty much, a dog running into traffic and the wolf howling “GO, GO, GO!” in the back of his mind. Unlike when he was in his wolf form, though, a hit from a bus could do a lot of damage to his objectively nice bod. Fortunately for him and the girl both, the bus was fast, but Winn was faster — thank goodness for speed limits and relatively self-aware drivers. He grabbed the girl, tucking her smaller form under one of his arms, and shoved his body through the crosswalk. They landed with a thud on the edge of the sidewalk, a bit bruised but alive. Nothing in his life could be so easy, though. Winn sprang to his feet, too fast and without letting go of the girl under his arm... and almost immediately, Winn and the girl were tumbling together through, somehow, a window. Now, how’d that get there?

Blanche was pretty sure she blacked out sometime between Granny going absolutely batshit and the fuckboy running into her at a million miles an hour. She came back just as her and the fuckboy hit the curb. Ouch. Well, she wasn’t dead, so that had to be the bright side here. Except, she still didn’t really know what was happening. Granny was still losing her fucking mind. That was the problem with seeing and hearing ghosts that no one else could. Too frequently, they kept talking to her, and it was too hard to focus on the people who were among the living. It was overwhelming. Blanche coughed slightly, a tad winded, before they were moving again. Fuckboy — she should stop calling him that, he just saved her life — hadn’t released his hold on her, and to be honest, she was kind of holding on for dear life. The window was a surprise, because, really, why the hell was there a fucking window in the middle of campus. There wasn’t even a building attached to it. They tumbled and landed on the ground again, and this time Blanche hurriedly let go before any other harm could come to them. Well, maybe harm was a little strong, because for going through a window, she was feeling pretty alright. Blanche carefully scrambled to her knees to see a crowd of shocked students wearing all black staring at them, and realized almost instantly that they just dove straight through the theatre majors’ set piece. Blanche, a little dazed from the adrenaline, looked at Fuckboy. “Your shirt’s broken—” Blanche said, eyes wide as she started to stand. Bad move, bad move, super duper bad move. Her head connected what felt like concrete and she dropped like a sack of potatoes back to the ground.

There was nothing like flying through a window to bring some real perspective on things. For one, that Winn should maybe wear sturdier tanks to class. The one he’d had on was shredded — just, completely torn to bits. A piece of fabric hung from one of his nipple rings and, while Winn had very little shame, it was pretty embarrassing. It looked more like the world’s worst party streamer or, eesh, tassels? Tacky. He ignored the wolf-whistles (ha) from a few of the folks whose window Winn had just busted as the blonde scrambled away from him. Her clothes were fine, though they looked frankly suffocating. He heard her say something as he pulled himself up off of the ground, but his senses were finally coming back into their typical resting place and, well, he was admittedly distracted. With dim shock covering his heightened perception just enough, he didn’t notice the girl picking herself up off the ground until she connected with his head. Winn barely felt it, though from the way that the girl dropped back to the ground, he supposed she had to feel it. Huh. Guess what his ma had always said about him having a hard head was true. He crouched back down, ignoring the fairly indignant rumbling from the people dressed in black surrounding him and the girl. He looked at the glass surrounding them, finally realizing that the “window” had been something more fake. Winn had busted through actual glass before and, well, his shirt wouldn’t have been the only victim if they’d tumbled through real glass. That was a mark in his favor, but, well. The girl was definitely going to hate him. He’d shoved her through a window! Dumbass. Dumb wolf, dumb man. Dumb wolfman. Sighing, he reached out his hand, “Uh, sorry… about that. Are you okay? I was trying to get you out of the way, but think I might’ve done more harm than good…”

Maybe if she just laid there, they would leave her there to perish due to the forces of nature. Now, she had a headache, but all things considered, at least she hadn’t been squashed by a bus. Blanche opened an eye, before letting out a low groan as the Fuckboy said something to her. He looked ridiculous. How the hell did that happen to his shirt, there had to be, like, physics against that. “I’m okay,” she said, reaching out to grab his hand and pull herself up. This time, she was carefully avoiding smashing heads with anyone else, much less concrete head over here. “I wasn’t paying attention. I’d rather go through a thing of stage glass than get hit by a bus, honestly, so thanks for that.” She rubbed her head, before fully examining the contents around her and the disgruntled theatre majors. “Um,” Blanche lowered her voice to a whisper, wincing slightly. “I don’t think they’re too happy about the window, though…”

Winn whistled lowly at the destruction. “Yeah, uh, sorry folks. We didn’t mean to break your window. Honest. Just, er, an unfortunate accident. I’m Winn, by the way.” He wasn’t sure whether he was saying that to them, or to the girl he’d tackled near halfway across campus. Was it a bad idea to let them know his name? He could run away, but then Shorty would be straddled with the clean-up, or retribution, or whatever theatre majors could actually do. Method act at him? Winn hadn’t been a bully or anything in high school (he didn’t hang with bullies either, so he didn’t know how to shove people in lockers), but he was sure he could rumble with a few (honestly, kinda scrawny) undergrads dressed in black. As he was contemplating this, a put-upon looking older woman ran a hand down her face, bags under her eyes. She sighed deeply, but before she could say anything, Winn interrupted: “We could, I don’t know, do something for y’all? Quip bro quo, or whatever? We, um…” He licked his lips, panicking, and looked to the girl standing next to him. One hand raised and covering his lips moving, he stage-whispered (ha), “Do you have any ideas?”

This could not be happening. Blanche looked warily between Winn and the angry theatre majors. How was this her fault, exactly? She was considering just backing up and running away, and leaving Mr. Nipple Tassel to deal with it himself. As if Granny could sense what she was thinking, she hissed in her ear: “You were the idiot that walked in front of a bus. Take responsibility for your actions!” Sure. Okay. But did Winn, as she learned his name was, have to jump through a window while still holding on to her? Blanche’s gaze snapped from the tired woman who could only be the drama director when Winn offered up a Quip Bro Quo. Oh god, he was an idiot. And then he turned to her and asked if she had any bright ideas. “Uh—” Oh. She sure didn’t. Blanche grimaced, and looked between everyone. “Um. Well. Hi. I’m Blanche.” Well, that was stupid, now they knew her name. Fuck. The woman was giving her a withering stare. “We could… offer labor?” Blanche said, weakly. She glanced up at Winn. “I don’t know, paint sets? Or something?”

The woman was still glaring at the both of them. “Or something,” she confirmed.

[hydeenthusiest]

VIXX’s Halloween Costumes

N

My angel, my darling man. He’d dress up as a deer. NOT A SEXY ONE. A cute one. Wanna know why? Because yaboi is pure and cute and he wouldn’t want to dress as anything that can be twisted, easily, into something dirty. If u twist a deer into something dirty then what happens? You get accused of being a furry. (also he wants to weave plants through the horns to look like some ethereal forest god.)

Leo

This man’s just a corpse baybe. He doesn’t need a costume. You think those creaking bones are from his old age? That’s just the rigor mortis setting in. This 70+ year old man is just existing to cause chaos now. All he does is make bad jokes and annoy the younger members. He’s like a grandmother. Either that or I don’t know… a military uniform? Ken’s gonna enlist before him at this point.

Ken

Not an elf, or a fairy or “uwu dracula!” because of the musical. Ken would dress up as a smurf. Now hear me out… he has the ears for it and he wants to be blue. Also he’s not dressing up as any smurf. He’s dressing up as King Smurf. He wanted that mushroom scepter and that cape. He wants to be SEEN wherever he goes. He wants that attention.

Ravi

One of two things. Either he’s going to forget about halloween and deck himself out with a full gucci regalia and be a Gucci model. Or he’s going to go all out and throw a huge Halloween party for the Groovlin boys. That being said. He’s dumb so he’ll probably just dress up as a vampire.

Hongbin

With grease paint and his fully exposed alien Crash Bandicoot shaped chest he would be dressed as Hanzo Shimada from the popular mmo overwatch. He’ll go to the jelpi hair stylist and make them put extensions in his hair so that he can tie his hair up with a long ribbon and have them glue on a fake beard. He tried to grow his own out but wasn’t able to get one full enough before halloween. Then he’d do an overwatch stream dressed as hanzo and end up tearing the beard, and several layers of skin, off halfway through and taking a 30 minute break to cry and wash his face.

Hyuk

You’re thinking I’m gonna say “m*nions” or “naruto” right? No. we’ve moved past that joke now. It was funny in 2014 and now it’s boring, but y’all keep talking about it for some reason. Anyway, he’d still do some stupid anime thing, but an updated version, like dressing up as spike spiegal or doing a stand from jo jo’s. (I don’t want any comments about these animes being from the 90s. They’re more relevant now than naruto or m*nions are)

[gutsybitsies]

Not the same anon but I would love to hear about the beauty and the beast version. I feel this fandom has greatly failed in not doing a beauty and the beast au for zimbits and you know what's up!

*cracks knuckles* im not sure if i’ve posted this before but i’d been talking about it with @fabbittle a while back: 

OKAY SO the premise is the same as the amnesia one and it’s bitty living in a cottage in the woods and so one day he comes across this really injured beast/monster. the beast is jack under curse. when he turned, he was chased and hunted by his own royal guards and friends who didn’t recognize him, and chased out of his kingdom. he’s cursed to be a monster until someone falls in love with him, but alas, who can love a beast? 

someone with a weird fetish like bitty, obviously. he takes one look and he’s thirsty. like jack’s still humanoid, he’s still muscular, and he’s got a lot of fur. and bitty can tell that he’s probably some poor guy who got cursed into a what to him seemed like a magnificent sexy beefcake. so while bitty’s nursing jack back to health there were two trains of thoughts in the cottage. the one that belongs to jack is “i’m a monster and he is so kind, i cant believe i love him so much, but there is no way he will ever love me.” while bitty’s thoughts are kind of just “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck meeeeee.”

bitty tries everything to seduce jack. but jack’s not picking up the hints, just lamenting about his ugliness and how he’s unloveable. but eventually bitty does say the words “i love you, you big handsome goofball!!” and then jack glows and poof. he’s human again!!! 

and bitty’s a bit sad, because if jack was human again it meant that he’d have to go back home, just when the two of them got together. but jack actually said that he wanted to stay here with bitty, that he didn’t much like his old life anyway, and he loves bitty and he loves the town samwell and everyone who lived there. but one day, a while later, an old man rides into town. he’s tired, and hungry, and he says that he’s looking for his son. 

jack was honest with bitty. he told him about his old life, as crown prince of the kingdom, about a fiance he didn’t care for, about the anxiety that he had about living up to his father, about his fear of failure. it all came to ahead when he was cursed and no one had recognized him, and he’d truly became something unworthy and disgusting in their eyes. 

“do you miss your parents?” bitty had asked. 

“yes,” jack replied honestly. “but i think it’s better that they don’t have me as a son.” 

but here robert zimmermann was, cold and tired from his journey, asking for magical favors everywhere, trying to find his greatest pride. bitty knew that if he knew jack was here, robert would take him away and break the small comfortable life that they built up together.

“my saddle broke,” bob said at the inn. “do you know where i can fix it?” 

“Tailor John knows how to do leatherwork for saddles and does most of the work in the town for it, but he just left yesterday to go to his daughter’s wedding and won’t be back for two weeks,” the innkeeper replied, “but bitty’s husband also knows how to do a quick repair, should last you until you reach another town. hey, bitty!” 

“hey there Jim,” bitty says as he brings in the day’s bread into the inn. “did i hear anything about a broken saddle?” 

“yeah, guy needs a fix, you think your jack can do it?” 

“well he can certainly try, he’s busy fixing our chicken coop right now, a fox got in last night, but if you come over tomorrow at noon i’m sure he’ll take a look at it,” bitty replied, looking warily at the man who looks almost exactly like jack and who said he was looking for his son. 

jack and bob see each other the next day, and bob bursts into tears and hugs his son as he finally got him back.

“why haven’t you come back? is there anything wrong? what’s this i hear about you being married?” he looked cautiously through the window at bitty, who was shooing away a deer that came near their garden trying to nibble at their cabbage. 

“i was cursed, he helped me lift it, and i decided to stay. i’m sorry for not contacting you or maman sooner, but i don’t want to go back.” 

bob became stern, “jack, this is your responsibility. you can’t leave your kingdom helmless in the future when it needs you. a ship without a captain steers itself into the waves and drowns. i don’t know what kind of dreamland you’ve been imagining yourself to be in but you need to snap out of it.”

“i can’t leave bitty.”

“then bring him with you, set him up in the capital with the finest things as repayment for taking care of you. he’ll have a great life as your lover.”

“he’s not just my lover, he’s my husband.”

“….is he a knight?”

“no.”

“has he ever went on a quest to save a kingdom, or defeated a dragon? do you think he can even hold a sword? will he be able to intermingle with the court life? how will he have any kind of dignity in the eyes of anyone in our circle as a prince consort now and a king consort in the future? what, are you going to give him a fake title and a dukedom to force him to integrate into our lives?”

seeing that jack can’t argue back but wasnt changing his mind, bob tried for a softer approach. “jack, you can bring him back with us. let him get used to how things are, and then we’ll talk about it, okay?”

so the three of them go to the capital and bitty is enraptured by all the beautiful things there, but there’s a slight hiccup. he’s ignored by every single person. the court, being very sensitive to the king and queen’s wishes, snubbed him on basically all occasions. he was given quarters in a small room far away from jack, and even though jack told him to just stay in jack’s room he wasn’t able to see jack often because jack comes back later and tired. when they first arrived bob and alicia didn’t even bother introducing him to anyone as jack’s husband. 

jack introduces bitty to people, and in jack’s presence there would be stilted conversation that stops as soon as jack wasn’t there. he tries his best to get bitty situated, but he’s being inundated as it were by tasks and jobs and responsibilities that he has to pick up again. 

and bitty realizes what’s happening, that no one wanted them to be together so they’re forcing this war of attrition. it comes to a head after a month, when bitty just couldn’t take it anymore and breaks down. 

jack: let’s just elope. 

bitty: what? we can’t do that.

jack: …go back home and i’ll come get you when i convince my parents to stop playing this stupid game. i’ll much rather you be happy away from me than suffer by my side.

bitty reluctantly agrees, and goes back. he waits and waits for a message from jack or jack himself, but doesnt get anything until there’s news that the prince of the neighboring kingdom, jack zimmermann, is getting ready to be married. but he still waited, because maybe that’s just a rumor and jack would tell him if anything happened, and that’s when a knight walked up the path to his cottage. and asked him to approve of a divorce from jack so that his next marriage can be legal. 

enclosed was a letter in jack’s handwriting that basically said that he realized that it was impossible for him to change his parents mind and impossible to leave. and that he could be stubborn and bring bitty back no matter what but he knows that it would just make bitty miserable. he’s sorry that he couldn’t say this in person, but he knew that if he saw bitty he’ll never want to leave. 

bitty signs, and then shuts the door in the face of the knight without even offering him refreshments for his long journey. 

bitty: i know its selfish but i wish the curse on jack had never broke. he’d have never been found, he’ll still be mine. 

and then, miles and miles away, a roar erupted in a panicking room as prince jack zimmermann transformed painfully into a giant beast in front of everyone. his parents grow frantic trying to break the curse, but no one could do it. 

note: this is from a long time ago that i never finished so here’s the rough rough rough ending

basically more panicking from the royals and jack ups and leaves again and finds his way somewhere where he sees bitty again. they don’t get together quite yet but eventually they start talking more and jack apologizes. 

bitty: “i made a dumb stupid wish and i wish i can turn you back but i can’t i’m sorry” 

jack: “that’s okay. i think if i wasn’t still in love with you i wouldn’t have turned anyway. my parents love me, i know, but i could never live up to them. i would’ve never been good enough, might as well stay here and eat berries.”

they still don’t get together, until one day jack’s on a hunting trip and get’s lost in the winter and meets up with a bunch of kids who also got lost, and he saves them and eventually leads them home. they thank him a lot and and jack’s pretty content with himself, before going back to his hut. and bam human again -insert disney music- 

jack knocks on bitty’s door with some flowers in hand, all “i know you’ve always wanted to see the world, and now i can take you places. we don’t have to be together, but do you want to come with me?” 

and so they set off together and one day bitty looks at jack weaving a scarf for the winter and kisses him.