#look at that poor man he just wants his OJ

[mayjackmayhem]

There are THINGS in the making

anyway take this poor swedish man just tryin to wake up in the morn, I'm working on this in my free time outside of work(window of ~1-2 hours a night) and I'm getting so excited to finish this, but I don't think I'll be able to include all our favorite nordic pals into this :(

[strawbxrryanime]

Yandere Kel Doesn’t Want You To Leave - yandere!kel (omori) x reader

This is my first Omori-based post. Hope you enjoy!

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING!” Kel asks, eagerly. “We can have some more orange juice if you want… y’know, some orange joe perhaps?” You didn’t really want some orange joe, in fact. You really needed to go, it was getting late and the mixture of Orange Juice and Coffee wouldn’t stir up the night. You had to go. You had to leave.

You apologized and tried to say your goodbyes. Accompanied by Kel’s whining of course. “I’ll show you anything!” Kel said, he kept pointing to pictures, trying to entice you into things you like. Playing video games? None of these work for you, and you just turn him down. This makes Kel panic, extremely. He slowly fidgets with a nearby basketball as he thinks of something right as you walk out of the door.

“Is there any reason on why you’re going?” Kel whines. You keep explaining that it’s late, but it wasn’t a proper excuse to make him budge. “Then how about some orange juice then?” Kel said, “No joe.. just OJ.”

You were skeptical about his offer. Surely Orange Joes were, admit it, kind of bad, but nothing can go wrong with a glass of orange juice right? After all, you and Kel are best friends. A glass of orange juice, and you’d be right out of the door and heading to bed. Greatest sleep ever.

Kel almost stumbled bringing the two glasses of orange juices over, he gave one glass to you and one glass for himself. He fanned out his orange shirt as he smiled and chuckled. “Man, we’ve talked through so much�� wonder why you can’t always come over that much?” Kel wondered as he sipped his glass.

You and Kel have been talking like wildfire, from calls to coming over to his home and watching the pigsty of a house he has. Somehow, you never even thought to sleepover or at least come over too often, rather the days you’d only visit his house were a few, 5 a year and just one now. Kel was wondering what’s the delay in all of your visits?

You took a sip of the orange juice and set it aside. You explain on why you couldn’t come over as much, plans, other things, moving on with life. It was so hard to focus upon one person when you’ve got so much to do. All Kel could do is give you a side eye while sipping his orange juice, kind of pissed off by your reasoning but understood pretty well. Or so you thought.

“So, you never wanted to come here because of plans?” Kel said, skeptical. “Wait, how could yo-“ Kel sighs and wonders if he’s overreacting or not. You kept on apologizing, but you’ve had plans. Kel knows that you’ve had plans. “It’s okay… I’m just glad you agreed to sleepover.” Kel muttered.

Wait, a sleepover?! You thought you perfectly diminished your rules to Kel. How could this be a sleepover? You try to explain.

“Wait, I’m not sleeping over Kel, I already told yo-“

“You’re sleeping over.” Kel said, bluntly. “In fact you’re sleeping over for a little while…”

You look at your glass of almost finished orange juice, you suddenly gasp and start feeling a bit drowsy. Kel wiped the sweat off his forehead as he smiled at the sight of you being drowsy.

“You look drunk again Y/N…” Kel sighs, smiling. “I hope the dosage wasn’t too high.”

Thud. You fell on the ground, suddenly crawling to find Kel’s feet in front of you, Kel is now towering over you as you looked up at him.

“I don’t want you to leave Y/N…” Kel said, in a soothing voice. Almost enough to make you sleep. “I just want to keep you safe…”

After falling asleep due to the high dosage inside that Orange Juice. Kel smirked just a little bit, surely he can get used to this, tying you up and making you his forever. Poor Kel doesn’t want you to leave, and he doesn’t want you to go off again. He just can’t admit that he hates it whenever he talks with you on call, sure your voice sounds amazing enough for him but, he just needs to be skin-to-skin with you.

You start to wake up, after feeling the effects of the high dosage inside of your OJ. Kel smiles and looks at you. “Wake up..” Kel whispered as he giggles and admires you. You were tied down to his bed. “It’s time for our forever sleepover to commence!” Kel chuckled as you tried to get out of the ropes tied down to you.

“Shhh.. it’ll hurt, stop struggling Y/N” Kel chuckled again. His chuckles were always thought to be contagious, but right now.. his chuckled were pure obsession, evil taken over. “Y/N, my perfect Y/N…” Kel put a hand on your cheek, his hand is warm. You try your best to fight it and scream through the gag on your mouth.

“It’s raining hard Y/N…” Kel smiled again. “I doubt anyone could hear you.” Kel was right, these windows are protected anyways, and worse enough the rain was loud enough to commode thunder in the skies. “I love you Y/N… I know I haven’t told you in a long time but I love you! I love you I love you!” Kel cried out.

You kept struggling as Kel held your cheek. You immediately stopped to look at him. “I love you so much… I’ve always been embarrassed to say my feelings towards you but, ever since we met, ever since we touched, even looked each other in the eye. I’ve always loved you…” Kel said as he chuckled again. “Ever since I been with you no matter what… you were always insecure and ashamed… but you don’t have to…” Kel said.

“Because I love you in every aspect of you, every ratio, every part of you…” Kel cried out, as he kissed you on the cheek. You still kept trying to struggle, trying your best but you were tightly tied down. “SHUT UP!” Kel yelled out as you stopped struggling. “SHUT UP! SHUT UPPP!” Kel yelled out. “STOP TRYING TO LEAVE ME!” Kel kept crying out.

Minute by minute you watched Kel unravel into a complete obsessed mess. “I LOVE YOU WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED?!” Kel yelled out as tears came out his eyes. “I’m going to make sure you stay here with me forever. Six feet under. No matter what. Nobody can separate our bond. NOBODY!” Kel yelled in an obsessed tone. “I-I can teach you all about basketball..” Kel said shakily, his hands are shaking, his whole body is shaking. He’s so obsessed and in love with you.

“Y-Y/N…” Kel said shakily as he glared at you. “I’m going to make sure you stay here for every minute of your life..” Kel was shaking even more as he caressed your cheek again and again. Pulling you into a real tight embrace. “I’m going to make sure to keep you safe, where nobody can find you, where you belong to me and only me…” Kel cried out, his breath had always smelled like orange juice, he’d probably been practicing enticing you with this.

“Y/N…” Kel kept saying and muttering to your ear. “Your name… saying your name…” Kel chuckles more and more. “Saying your name makes me go crazy Y/N…” Kel kept smirking as he wraps his legs around your waist, tightening his cuddle into you more.

“You’re never going anywhere anymore. Wherever you go I go. There’s no escaping my love for you Y/N. Even if it means I have to make you scream to show my heart throbbing over the sight of you.”

And there you went, nothing but a mystery to what happened to Y/N? You’ve been gone for a long time now, and your case is getting cold. Technically, your neighbors cared about you, some of your friends did, but everybody concluded to the same thing. You were gone forever and couldn’t be seen anywhere. Your disappearance was nothing but a cold mystery, where people would discuss it everywhere. The only thing they’d find in your house however, a mysterious glass of orange juice.. that glass was scanned for fingerprints and everything but sadly no search or findings. You just simply vanished, simply gone out of thin air.. well, actually.. after draining all the orange juice out of the glass, there was a sticky note.

“Y/N is mine and mine alone. I love Y/N so so much.. I think it’s best for you investigators to work on something else hm? Y/N is perfectly safe under my arms and my arms only. So fuck off.”

[pandoramyst]

𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 II - 𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦 𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 ཞ ੈ✩‧₊˚

pairing: Neteyam Sully X fem!reader

suggested music

synopsis: You escape for the night into pandora’s forest, and encounters a pair of eager na’vi. The older one looks into your eyes as he points his weapon at you and you can see the shine in his eye as he senses something familiar about your face.

warnings: 18+ dni if not comfortable pleaseeee! adult language, avatar spoilers cursing, violence, emotional distress.

His legs were under yours and you rested your intertwined hands on your lap. His head rested on your sharp shoulder and your chest pushed his body up and down with each breath you took. Was it wrong? Yes. Did you prevent this from happening? No.

The day in the forest when you exchanged names was an opening to a door you had not even imagined existing. A door that you were both forbidden to enter. As if you were not expecting consequences, you kept meeting with him at random locations. At times, you were so careless about your surroundings that you had gotten close to getting caught.

That’s how it felt with him. You were so immersed in his warm air that everything around you was blurred. As if your peripheral vision had shortened so that Neteyam was your only focus. You couldn’t help it. His beauty was unimaginable for somebody who had spent years around a different species.

“Stop it,” He moved his cheek away from your fingers which tediously squeezed the skin. His giggle was loud enough only for you to hear and you thanked Eywa for gifting you this long moment to spend with him without interactions.

“You remind me of the pet cat norm has,” 

He picked himself up from your shoulder and looked at you, mouth open, eyes raised. “How dare you?” His hand went on his chest, dramatizing the reaction.

“It’s true, you’re so grumpy.” You laughed and placed your hands on the ground as if you knew he was gonna start chasing you. After a hell of a death glare from hip0, you lifted yourself up and ran towards any clearing the forest offered. You picked up the pace as you heard his footsteps against the fallen leaves behind you.

“C’mere,” He yelled behind you.

-

His presence at the labs was more frequent than you suggested. He snuck in through the entrance and marched into your room as if nothing had happened. You scold him for his careless behavior but applaud him internally for his bravery.

Nights were spent pulling pranks on Norm or daring each other to sneak into the main kitchen to grab snacks for the both of you. It usually ended well...except for the one time when Norm caught Neteyam being particularly casual when stealing orange juice from the fridge.

Holding a toothpaste in his hand, “What the hell?” the man gurgled at Neteyam, spilling some of the toothpaste on his chin. A towel was draped over his shoulder and he wore striped boxers. 

Neteyam slowly pivoted, following the man’s body up to his face.

“Sir, I d-” Neteyam stuttered.

Before he could speak, you pushed yourself inside the room, sliding in front of Norm.

“Hey, Norm!” Your high-pitched voice rang in his ears.

“Kid? What’s he doing here?” He pointed at the boy behind you.

“You see...Neteyam was spying on us!” You turned around to stare at the poor boy’s confused face.

“Yeah, he spied on us. And...when I confronted him, he said he would stop only if I shared some of our food with him!” You smiled at Norm, nodding continuously.

“Oh, Neteyam! Jake’s kid?” He smiled when he recognized him.

“Yeah, yeah! Exactly, see no harm,” Relief

“Yeah sir, I just wanted some OJ” The boy added to the lie to avoid intensifying the conversation. Norm hummed and backed away from the door, gesturing for Neteyam to pass. When he left the room, you went to follow him when Norm grabbed your arm.

“I’m sure “OJ”, is not in the na’vi dialect” He winked at you and let you go, exiting the kitchen. Your eyes widened as you came to the realization that your lie didn't work. You should’ve expected this. You’re basically his daughter so lying to him was not a practical solution...

When you got back into your bedroom, you locked the door and looked at Neteyam with your eyes wide open.

“What’s wrong?” He stopped sipping on the juice and looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. He walked towards you, the only thing separating you being the cup in his hand.

“Norm knows. About us,”

“Oh fuck” Neteyam’s simple response sent your mind into a frenzy. What were you gonna do? Did this mean you couldn’t see him anymore? “How did he react?” He walked back to your bed and sat down carefully. “He just kind of laughed?” You looked around the room and threw your shoulders up. 

Neteyam just nodded and said, “That's great”

“That's great? He’s like a father to me. I'm the one that has to live with him teasing me now,” Your eyebrows furrowed at the smiling boy and he beckoned you toward him with his two fingers. When you found yourself in front of him, he pointed at his lap. “Sit,” He whispered and you balanced yourself on his shoulders as your thighs fell on his. He fell back on the bed, eyes still on yours.

“Does it really matter? Now he knows when to give us our privacy” he hooked his fingers on your shorts and pulled them harshly to drag your body on his. You let out a small whine at the harsh tugging which pulled you forward.

“We are not doing this. His room is 20 feet away from mine,” You rambled and he joined his lips with yours to shut you up. He sucked on your bottom lip then let it go to answer you.

“Do you not feel what you’ve fucking done to me?” His hooded eyes looked down at you as if he was a predator on the hunt.

“Hm?” You hummed in confusion. You moved your hips around to “feel” what he was talking about.

“yeah, that's right.” He bit his lip and let his head fall on the bed. His eyes were closed and his fingers were circling around the hem of your shorts. The dent on his pants jolted you upwards as it was sudden and foreign to you.

He placed his hand in front of your mouth and leaned closer to your face.

“You feel that?” You nodded and his thumb caressed the skin under it.

“Good, now be quiet f’me, okay?” His arm fell from your face and joined your other hand that had gotten under your shorts and on your bum. You leaned down to kiss his lips and he reciprocated, occasionally letting you feel his tongue.

Halfway through your makeout, he turned you around so that he was on top of you. He pressed his chest on yours and planted kisses along the side of your neck, licking the colored marks he had left on you. He untied the bralette you wore and spent his precious time exploring the skin on your breasts with his tongue. 

It was impossible for you to keep your moans silent as all of these feelings were foreign to you. Neteyam placed his palm on your mouth, muffling the sounds.

“You have to keep quiet if you want me to continue, baby” you whined into his hand and closed your eyes as he pulled down your shorts, removing your panties in the process. He threw them on the floor and kissed around the skin of your clit. You shook at the feeling and pulled on his hair.

He dragged his tongue around the soaked skin, feeling the juices coat his tongue. He continued with slow kisses along your lips, blowing on the skin when his lips weren’t in contact with yours. His hand had left your face and was now holding yours. Your thighs were on top of his arms and your hand was intertwined as you tried to keep your moans entrapped in your closed mouth.

“I can't-” You cut yourself off with a loud moan as he made out with the sensitive skin down under.

“Yes, you can baby. A little more,” He caressed your hand with his thumb and slowed down the pace of his licks and kisses, the way you liked it. Your thighs started to shake at the impact and you squeezed his hands as tight as you could.

“I can’t, Neteyam” You forced your voice out and he chuckled on your clit, sending vibrations up your body.

“Ok, ok. Let go baby” Finally. You let it all out, releasing tears in the process. Your breath got shakier as Neteyam caressed your thighs, helping you ride it out. When your breath’s picked up a normal pace, he came back up and to kiss around the skin on your cheeks. He kissed away the tears that had escaped you without noticing.

“Good?” He hummed and with a breathy smile you responded, “So good,”

- 

(can't express how much I hate writing smut. Like im legit so bad at it but I have to feed yall soo)

[chaoticabstractism]

Okay thoughts

- hate how both reader and brother are put in this situations and they both know they’re distanced but they can’t be okay about it so suddenly. God the alarms that must be going off in his head

- Why do I feel like brother is driving to yoongi’s house 😟

- I’m fucking anxious damn it

- Whatever the fuck happened at that table

- Three months of questioning his existence? What do you mean by that? Is he suicidal?

- FUCCCCCKKKK I KNEW IT OH GOD OH GOD OJ GOD OH GOD

- Lmao never seen yoongi in panic in two years of three tan universe

- Mister brother could be coming there to talk about his sister lying to him right? RIGHR ? Right ? Cus they’re bros and he could be worried RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT

- Ill have you know that I’m clutching my T-shirt and reading this

- Dasi run run run 🏃🏻‍♀️

- If mister brother is thinking of another scenario and he IS genuinely worried for reader , both of them are gonna be so down in the built ocean I can’t even . Wow I love mental pain but this is giving me anxiety

- Come to think of it , i do think considering how yoongi’s been and how much mister brother did for reader, his wrath is gonna be valid. Just don’t know how irrational. Sigh there’s no good or bad here just life

- Is the band “THE ROSE” cus you know your playlist and then snooze, and the rose is amazing and I love woosung hello

- OH MY GOD IT IS THEM LMAO ILOVEYOU

- What stare 😟😟😟

- How many surprises are here

- Do you hate us ryen tell me

- Does yoongi have a crush on woosung 😟😟😟😟 because I know I would too but

- Okay I can’t I don’t wanna read the mister brother conversation I can’t do this someone hold my hand

- He’s looking for things that reader left isn’t he

- Plane ticket 🤣I know it’s not laughable sorry but just never seen him like this in here, poor baby

- Scared to scroll up. I’m reading the parts in the middle of a screen but my eyes keep going to the bottom to see if there’s a dialogue yet and if it is there , what is it

- Okay I was so scared I just fast forwarded through dialogues now I’ll have to read again now that I know it’s not that bad phew or is it

- They have to address this. Both of them. Reader and yoongi. They are both so fucking scared about this and it affects both of them so much. Fuck. I hope mister brother don’t feel betrayed 😭

- What rumours? 😟What are this people? 😟Why is the implication of being associated with this ex so bad? 😟Why ? Why ?

- Don’t lie to your friend I’m crying yoongi don’t lie to your friend you won’t be able to live with yourself if he’s hurt

- Ah I’m I can’t .

- “Are they seeing someone” that has to be the dumbest stupidest most courageous and cocky thing he’s ever done

- Yoongi’s gonna spiral. Mister brother is already spiraling and I don’t even want to think about what’s happening with reader

- Yoongi :(

- Why are both their exes so evil and cunning leaving them so traumatised wtf

- Damn I need a smoke

- “Please don’t leave me alone” 😭only if the reader knew what’s happening inside his head.

- Does yoongi’s living room corner have a ghost ? 😟

- Hurts hurts hurts. The bandage needs to be ripped off ryen.

- Also when you say yoongi was radio silent for months? Did he not contact at all? I thought they kept texting throughout those 3 months

- I’ve been glued to my phone my eyes hurt a little hello

- Man every time they’re sneaking out, I’m the one freaking out. What is this sorcery

- “Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. “ 😔

- Where are they going it’s cute and all but im still jittery

- “You and your stupid hair” that’s my inner monologue I swear. Stupid hairs stupid voice stupid smile stupid eyes stupid stupid stupid

- Wow asking to eat food while he looks like a fucking full course wow

- Dating min yoongi - the reality is better than those fics reader ever wrote

- How many kisses are he going to steal

- Thanks for these fluff ryen I swear I’m healing

- Now why did that last scene felt like avengers assembled

- Anyway that was sucha good read ryen I swear. The anxiety had me choked up throughout. Phew can’t wait for more. Sorry I’m not up to date on discord but I’ll leave you this’. Take care. Drink water. Love you. 🌸

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i’ve had time to make it something i’m proud of. trying to rush everything out didn’t do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i’m sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: …19.1k 🚶‍♀️

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Words abandon you.

Keep reading

[ithebookhoarder]

‘Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know’: Part 2 (Javier Peña x F!Reader)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 

Description: After the night in your apartment together, things between you and Javi have been... well... awkward, to say the least. If you didn't know any better you’d say he was actually avoiding you, which isn’t ideal considering you’ve now been partnered together for a raid in the jungle. What could possibly go wrong?

A/N: So, ok. I did NOT expect such a lovely and overwhelming response to the one shot I did for this prompt. I was so touched that basically I couldn't resist giving in to @delorena​‘s request for a part 2... and a soon to be released part 3, as this baby was getting long XD Sorry!

Warnings: Alcohol, swearing, canon-typical violence, reference to death, references to drugs, threat, my poor ass attempts at translating Spanish, Javi being an idiot (let me know if I missed anything)

Masterlist:

It had been a month since that night in your apartment: the night that had seen you waking up next to your partner, Javier Peña. 

Yeah.

Even now, it felt like some kind of surreal dream to think about. It probably didn’t help that neither of you had actually spoken about it since then, simply heading out the door the next morning, off to work like nothing had happened. 

Then again, what had happened? Other than you making a drunken ass of yourself in front of the guy who was both your colleague, but also your crush. It wasn’t like you’d kissed or slept with each other, in the usual sense of the word. Instead, you’d actually just slept. Fully clothed. With Javier Peña. 

If anything, that fact alone should have been enough to tell you not only had nothing happened, it most likely never would. This was the Javier Peña, after all. He normally slept with anything with a pulse. So, despite his confession that night about his recent lack of companions, you were surprised to say the least that he hadn’t made some kind of move. Not then, and not in any of the days since.  

Maybe he didn’t see you as attractive? God. Wouldn’t that be the fucking kick in the teeth you didn’t need. Or, maybe he was just trying to preserve your working relationship? After all, you did spend almost every minute of your waking lives together, watching each other’s backs out in the field and the treacherous world Escobar had created. You couldn’t afford distractions. Distractions could get you killed. 

But even if that was the case, why did it do nothing to soothe the hurt you felt in your gut? A hurt that had been impossible to shift since the moment Javi had woken you that fateful morning and hurriedly shot you a ‘goodbye’ as he ran out the door without you. 

“This way Steve won’t see me leaving your apartment,” he’d explained casually, pulling on his shoes as you watched from the doorway. 

You’d only been awake for two minutes before noticing that the bed had been empty next to you. Not only that, but it was cold to touch, as if no one had slept on it in some time. The thought had made your stomach turn, and you knew you couldn’t entirely blame your hangover for the sudden urge to hurl as you hurried out of bed and found yourself here. 

Needless to say, you were more than surprised to see Javi fully dressed, and almost creeping out the front door like some guilty one night stand. 

A one night stand who’d made pancakes? God. Could this have got any stranger?

“Y/N. You’re up?”

If you didn’t know better, you’d have said he sounded disappointed by that fact. Like, he’d been planning on being gone well before you woke up. That would explain the stack of pancakes and glass of OJ on the side, and the hastily scrawled post-it note beside it. 

- Eat these and drink some water. You’ll feel better.

That was all he’d been planning to give you after last night? 

Not even a goodbye?

Just some home cooked food and a crappy note?

You felt like you had to still be drunk. There was no other explanation for this bizarre scenario, not considering the genuine vulnerability Javi had shown you the night before. Had you dreamt half of the things he’d said and done the night before? After all, for someone who had kissed your forehead and called you ‘querida’ he seemed pretty keen to be rid of you. 

Had he just been pandering to your drunken state? Had he simply not meant it in any other way than friendly? Had you read more into it, hoping for what wasn’t really there in some kind of grief fuelled haze? 

If so, you’d really fucked up and had no one but yourself to blame. It would take more than one good night to prove Javier Peña - the manwhore of Bogotá  - had changed. To think otherwise had been foolish and naive, and most likely due to the amount of alcohol in your system.  

“You not eating? Why make it if you’re not gonna eat any of it?”

“I already ate,” Javi explained hastily, “I hope you don’t mind. I should get going and I didn’t want to wake you yet. I figured you could use the rest after...”

“Yeah, of course,” you’d stammered, blearily trying to make it make sense as you noticed the freshly washed frying pan beside the sink. How long had he been awake? Had he even slept at all? “You uh, you want some coffee before you go?”

“No, thanks. I’ll grab some at work. This way, I can get back to mine and shower before I leave.”

“You can use the shower here, if you want?”

“No, thanks,” he’d repeated, rubbing the back of his neck and hauling on his jacket. If he sensed the sharpness to his tone, he didn’t address it. Instead, he just scoffed as if this whole thing was just some cosmic joke between the pair of you. “Last thing we need is for Steve or Connie to see me coming out of here and start making assumptions about last night, am I right?”

You’d frozen. 

Would that have been so bad? Bad enough to make Javi look like he was trying to escape from sicarios, and not you? 

You didn’t trust yourself to do much more than fake a laugh back and nod in agreement. Burying your hurt was for the best as you thanked him one last time for his help the night before. “I’ll see you in a couple hours, then?”

“Sure thing, Y/N. See ya in a bit.” 

With that, he’d shut the door and left you staring after him, just as confused as you were now, a whole month later.

It just didn’t make any sense, no matter how many times you’d played that night over and over in your head - which was quite a lot, if you were being honest. The sudden lack of leads from Escobar’s men had seen to that, forcing you, Steve, and Javi, to spend a hell of a lot of time stuck at your desks at the embassy, sorting paperwork and trying to find ways to keep yours minds from wandering. 

It was easier said than done. 

No matter how many extras files you offered to handle, you still couldn’t get Javi out of your mind. Not when he was always sat opposite you, smoking away or making conversation with Steve… and occasionally you, but only when he had to - something you’d noticed early on. 

Even Steve had noticed Javi’s sudden aversion to being left alone with you. It was beyond odd, and had lead to him staring at the pair of you with a baffled look on his face as Javi seemed to always find somewhere else to be just as he was about to leave you two alone. 

It was like your own version of hell. 

At this point, you’d almost pay one of Escobar’s men to give you an excuse to get out of the embassy and away from the suffocating tension that lingered between you. 

“What the hell is going on between you?” Connie had pried, barging into your apartment as soon as Steve had filled her in on the latest situation between you and Javi. One look at her determined expression had warned you she wasn’t leaving without answers. “Did something happen the other night? When he walked you home after the bar?” 

With a sigh, you’d told her everything from first to last, hoping she’d be able to make some sort of sense out of it. 

“I just don’t get it, Con. I mean… he made fucking pancakes and slept in my bed. Then the next day, it’s like he can’t even look at me.”

“Did he say anything about it?”

You groaned, busying yourself with opening the bottle of wine Connie had brought with her. It was easier than letting her see the guilt on your face as you replayed your failed attempts to confront the man. 

“I… I haven’t actually asked him about it,” you whispered. 

“Y/N!”

“I know Connie-“

“Are you kidding me?”

“No,” you protested, ripping off the cork and emptying a worrying amount of the wine into your glass. Once you’d deemed your glass full enough for this conversation, you passed the bottle back and tried to ignore her disapproving glare. She looked scarily like your fourth grade teacher when she did that. “I know how it sounds, ok? I just can’t! I chicken out whenever I try and, I have tried! It’s like trying to wrestle an eel trying to get him alone with me for more than thirty seconds.”  

It was Connie’s turn to sigh, running a hand through her hair as she leant back into the couch. “So Steve tells me.” 

“Oh? What else has Stevie been saying?”

“Just that he’s worried about you two,” Connie continued, smirking at the outraged expression on your face. “I’m his wife, Y/N. He’s gonna tell me stuff, and by the sounds of it, you two aren’t exactly being subtle about the whole thing. It’s been driving Steve mad. I had to talk him out of locking you both in a closet until you two worked this out.”

You paused. Oh, Steve was gonna get it next time you saw him. 

And he called Connie dramatic? Locking you in a closet? What was this? Some cheesy telenovela? 

“For a DEA agent, he can be an idiot sometimes. As if that was gonna work.”

“Who knows,” Connie laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “But at least it might have got you two talking again, even if only about how much you both hated Steve. It would have been a start.”

Sure, but the start of what? 

You weren’t sure anymore of where your life was headed, or even where you wanted it to be headed. Your relationship - or non-existent one - with Javi, was just one more murky variable you had yet to decide on. 

Did you even want to fix things? He had been the one to cut you off after all. Why should you go running after someone who clearly didn’t want you, or value you? You were better than that. You were worth more than that. 

Whatever his problem was, it wasn’t on you to fix it. 

“A start of a court case after we murder each other, you mean?” you grumbled, taking another desperate gulp of wine. However, you did your best not to spit it out a second later as Connie said something you’d never thought you’d hear… not outside of your dreams, anyway. 

“Or, the start of a relationship? I mean, honestly, Y/N? I think he likes you.”

“What?”

“I mean it,” Connie hummed thoughtfully. “Why else would he spook like this? I saw how he was looking at you that night, gazing at you in the rearview the whole way home. He likes you and knowing him, he probably doesn’t do feelings very often. He’s probably scared to feel like that about someone. Especially, someone he works with.” 

You snorted at the absurdity of it. Did Connie hear herself? She was talking bullshit. Sure, Javi had said that he hadn’t been seeing his informants in his usual sense any more, but he could have been lying. Or, he could have found some other source of comfort. Either way, it wasn’t proof he had feelings for you. Not real feelings. Not feelings that would warrant this level of panic. 

“Holy shit. You sound like my Mom.”

“What?”

“She used to tell me crap like, if a boy’s mean to you it’s because he likes you,” you sniggered, trying to ignore the brief flicker of hope that lingered, even now. ”But he doesn’t. If he’s mean, he’s mean and you should shove him on his ass.”

Connie smirked. “You wanna shove Javi on his ass?”

“Yes, no, I mean…” you babbled, caught off by her logic. “I’m just saying, he doesn’t like me. I thought he did, Con, but he doesn’t. End of story. He made it perfectly clear when he ran out my apartment like I’d given him a disease. This is Javi, we’re talking about, Connie. You know him as well as I do. He slept next to me and didn’t make a single move the whole night. What does that tell you about how he sees me?” 

“I think it says a lot,” Connie sighed. “And that he has enough of a conscience not to make a move on an upset, drunk, grieving woman.” 

“Be that as it may, he doesn’t get a medal for being a good person.”

“No, but it does tell you a lot about him and how much he cares about you. Why else would he do all that? And, not tell anyone about it either? It’s not like he did it for the good-guy points.”

You hated how right she was. You also hated how this conversation wasn’t making anything clearer at all. If anything, it had just got more complicated. 

It was official: things had been much simpler before Javier Peña had come into your life. 

——

As with most things in your life, there was a certain inevitability about things. Like, no matter how hard you tried to avoid something - or someone - they nearly always ended up catching up with you eventually. Honestly, you didn’t know why you were surprised to find Javi was one of those things. 

Clearly, the universe was done with letting you two try and work things out by yourselves. Fate had got bored and decided to step in and intervene, or so you grumbled quietly, listening to the Ambassador’s orders with horror: You were off on an assignment. 

Not just any assignment either, but a raid. A big raid at that, hoping to bust one of Escobar’s labs located out in the jungle. The intel had come via one of Javi’s informants and had somehow been proven as true enough to act on. But of course, things were never simple. 

Not only were you going on a raid, but you were partnered off in teams with individual areas to take charge of once you hit the ground. It was standard procedure and nothing to throw you off your game, but it was who your teammate was that concerned you. 

None other than Javier Peña himself - a fact that made you wonder if there was any way you could beg Steve into swapping with you. You’d much prefer teaming up with Carillo instead. Even if he was a little cold towards you, at least he didn’t treat you like a nameless nobody. His nonchalance came from professional courtesy, not personal disgust. 

However, you’d never even had the chance to ask. Not when the Ambassador had ordered you all off there and then, piling you into a chopper and dumping your asses on the ground with barely enough time to strap yourselves into tactical gear, let alone negotiate the particulars of the operation. 

At least being out in the field meant Javi had to talk to you. There wasn’t really a way he could avoid it, or even you, given that you were supposed to be keeping each other alive long enough to shut down the operation being run out here. 

One look at the tents and workstations dotted around the surrounding jungle told you this wasn’t going to be easy. There were a lot of workers, and even more weapons between them. Weapons as big and as powerful as your own. 

“Close in on your positions,” a voice ordered, crackling into life over the radio you had hooked up to you. One look at Javi, crouched in the brush beside you, told you’d he’d heard loud and clear. The well-rehearsed signal his hand made, followed by a slow nod, also told you he was ready to move in on the specific area your pair had been told to target. 

“Stay close,” he whispered, almost as if it was an after thought. 

You wanted to roll your eyes, and had you not been about to entire a life threatening situation, you probably would have. Instead, the best you could do was repeat his words back mockingly. 

“You stay close.”

Javi looked surprised by the venom in your voice. 

Thankfully, he was spared the chance to reply as a shout echoed throughout the clearing, sending men charging in all directions, gunfire quick to follow. 

“Go, go, go!”

The command was clear. 

You gripped your gun tightly, raising it and hurrying out of your hiding spot to join the others. Without even looking you could tell Javi was following alongside you, opening fire on the sicarios who were firing back at you. 

You were quick to pick off the immediate threats, choosing your targets and pulling the trigger with a familiar ease that - to this day - made you worry for your soul. Still, as Javi had once told you, it was you or them. When it came down to it, pulling the trigger wasn’t a choice but a necessity. 

You hated the fact his words brought you comfort as you turned and fired a shot at a passing assailant with surprising speed. If only all problems could be removed as easily. 

“Y/N! 9 o’clock!”

You turned, firing again before registering it had been Javi that had warned you. 

So, he did remember your name after all. 

You didn’t know if that made things better or worse between you considering he’d just been choosing not to use it. Either way, you knew the aggression as you stormed through the tarp flaps of the tent wasn’t entirely due to the men you knew would be inside. 

“¡Detener!” you bellowed, watching as Javi mirrored you. “Deje el arma y levante las manos donde pueda verlas.” (*Stop! Put down the gun and put your hands up where I can see them)

“Estas bajo arresto!”  (*You’re under arrest!)

Your voice was loud, even if your Spanish was still a little rough despite being in Colombia for almost eight months. It wasn’t like you had Javi to teach you while you worked anymore, but you knew enough by this point to get by. 

You also knew a remarkable amount of insults and swears - words that were quickly thrown at you by the men in front of you, hands raised and cocaine powder staining their hands from their nearby work stations.  

“Maldita perra americana,” one spat, as if not caring you had a gun pointed at his head.  (*Damn American Bitch)

“Puede que sea una perra, pero soy el que tiene la pistola, pendejo,” you warned, reminding yourself that you couldn’t kill the bastards for simply annoying you. They were unarmed and workers, even if people like these had been behind your sister’s OD. It was their cocaine, shipped in to the US, in packages like the ones surrounding you, that had lead to your sister’s demise. 

(*I might be a bitch but I'm the one with the gun, asshole)

“Sigues siendo una perra-” (*You’re still a bitch)

“Want to say that again? Huh?” Javi barked, surging towards the one who had spoken and grabbing his sweat-stained wife-beater in his fist. With surprising ferocity, he slammed the man back against the wooden pillar in the centre of the tent and pressed his gun into his cheek. “¿Quieres decirme eso a la cara? O eres un bastardo muy valiente o muy estúpido.”

(*Do you want to say that to my face? Either you are a very brave bastard or a very stupid)

“Javi!” you scolded, eyes wide at your partner. Sure, this wasn’t the first time Javi had been a little unorthodox with his methods, but he’d never been so openly violent or unhinged in front of you. He normally left that to Carillo, or at least waited until you weren’t watching. He knew how you hated it. “Javi! Let him go! Just cuff him already.”

“Oh, I don’t know. What’s one more dead asshole?”

The man had the decency to finally look terrified as he whimpered, squirming under Javi as he looked at you, as if begging for you to rein in your partner. 

“I could pull the trigger, here and now. No one would care.”

“No! NO! Por favor. Lo siento.” (*Please. I’m sorry)

“Javi,” you snapped. “Fucking stop, already! What is wrong with you? Jesus!”

Your horror must have finally got through to him as Javi tensed, throwing the man to the floor before looking at you with guilt in his eyes. 

This man was just a puzzle wrapped in an enigma. You could never work him out. Never. After all, this man was the man who’d been treating you like you had the plague, but now? Now he was seconds away from losing it over one sicario insulting you? 

It wasn’t like you weren’t used to it. You’d been called a lot worse by a lot more terrible people. 

What was wrong with him? It couldn’t just be because you were his partner. You were Steve’s partner and it took more than the odd asshole calling you a bitch to rile him up. 

Speaking of your partner, you were pleased to hear his voice interrupting over the radio, speaking to you from his position the other side of the site. It was like he knew something was wrong between them. “Come in, Peña? L/N? Can you hear me?”

“Yes, Steve. We hear you,” you replied swiftly, unable to look at Javi as he finally cuffed the guy, beginning to hand him and the other workers off to the soldiers that were now joining you. “This side is secured.”

“Good. We’re headed over to you guys now. We’re just processing how much damn product there is. My bet is it’s worth at least a couple million. Carillo says closer to ten million.”

You scoffed. Typical. You’d been in a war zone a matter of minutes ago, and your colleagues were already placing bets like this was just some game? 

“Put me down. $10 says it’s five million.“

Steve laughed. “You got it. Escobar is gonna lose his shit. Peña?”

Javi was slow to respond, taking a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair. You knew he was trying to look like he was thinking it over, but his eyes gave him away. Even behind his signature yellow aviators. He was too busy staring between you and the floor to be paying all that much attention. 

Suddenly, the tent seemed all the more stifling and it wasn’t because of the humidity of the Colombian jungle. 

“Uh… seven, put me down for seven.”

“You got it! Hurry your asses up and meet us at the rendezvous. We need to fucking celebrate.” 

You were quick to follow his instruction, turning and hurrying out of the tent before you could pass out. Unfortunately, the sound of footsteps behind you told you Javi had done the same. Perhaps it was Steve’s promise of celebrating that had him moving with surprising speed as you began to make your way back to the centre of the site, where Carillo would be co-ordinating the effort to wrap this operation up. 

It would take a while, if not the rest of the day, to catalogue everything and start moving the detainees somewhere for interrogation. Even if they were just grunt workers, you knew someone likely knew something that could give you a lead towards catching Escobar. 

That was why you were here, after all. To catch the bastard behind all of this. Not to make friends, or have an adventure, or all the other bullshit you’d been telling yourself since you’d moved down here. This was just a job. One that you’d be glad to finish, sooner rather than later, especially if it meant you didn’t have to deal with the agent walking behind you. 

You could feel his eyes boring into the back of your head as you marched across the clearing. It was like he was just waiting to say something but couldn’t bring himself to spit it out. 

That was a first. A speechless Javier?

“You want to tell me what happened back there?”

Your words hung in the air, the offer clear even without you looking at the agitated agent behind you. All you could hear in response was the undergrowth crunching beneath his boots as he took a breath, as if debating whether to answer. 

“Nothing happened.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes, really.”

“So you don’t want to explain to me why you almost went ape shit back there?”  

“I did not,” he huffed, sounding oddly bored by the conversation. “I was merely apprehending a possible threat. He was disrespecting you but also the DEA. You’re not going to make me explain defending a colleague, are you?”

“Like how Steve’s cat was DEA?” you scoffed, disbelief evident as you stopped dead in your tracks and whirled to face him. God. Even through your hate you couldn’t help but admire the way he looked, with his sinful dark green button down clinging to him in the heat. Even with his tactical vest still on, you could see that the top two buttons were undone, which didn’t help matters at all. “All he did was throw a few nasty words my way, Peña. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

Javi looked stunned you’d even suggest otherwise. “I never said you couldn’t.”

“Then why did you-?”

You never got the chance to finish the question. 

You’d barely even opened your mouth to start before you were interrupted by the sudden chorus of startled shouts, echoing across the clearing. Panic was almost tangible in the air as your head turned, staring towards the structure nearest you as a shout of “¡Bomba! ¡Hay una bomba! ¡Todos se mueven! Es una trampa. Va a explotar. Carrera” rang out. 

You weren’t fluent in Spanish, but as you said before, you knew enough words to get by. The words ‘bomb’, ‘trap’ and ‘run’ were definitely clear enough for your heart to race and your eyes to widen in shock. 

Before you could even move, you felt arms wrap around your body, hauling you to the ground as an earth shattering explosion sent the world turning. 

The entire world felt like it shook as dirt and debris erupted overhead, causing you to curl in on yourself tightly. You could only hear ringing in your ears as you struggled to make sense of what had just happened. 

A bomb.

There had been a bomb. 

Fuck. Escobar had likely left it as a fail safe in case the place was raided as it had been today. Someone had likely set it to explode the moment your team and Search Bloc had come running out of the trees. 

Oh god. 

A weight was pressed against you, arms holding you close to someone as your world began to righten itself. Only as your vision stopped spinning were you able to realise someone was holding you, shielding your body beneath theirs as they’d thrown you both to the ground. 

The sudden smell of cigarettes, whiskey and cologne told you exactly who it was on top of you. The feel of his hands around you was also a pretty big clue, given how you’d memorised their feel a month ago, when he’d held you similar to this… in a bed… soothing you as you’d drifted to sleep, safe and sound. 

“Y/N?”

Javi’s voice was soft in your ear as he repeated your name over and over until you seemed to acknowledge him. It must have been shock that kept you still for so long, unresponsive as he sat up, releasing you and checking you over with pure unadulterated terror on his face. 

“Y/N? Can you hear me? Are you hurt?”

“Javi?” you whispered. 

You had to be concussed. Maybe you’d hit the ground harder than you’d thought? There was no way Javi would be looking down at you with such kindness and relief, an expression all too similar to the one he’d worn as he’d put you to bed before. 

The old Javi? Maybe. But this new Javi, the one who had appeared in old-Javi’s place, recently? No. He could barely give you the time of day, let alone do something as monumentally stupid as this. Risking his life to save yours without even hesitating? 

It was enough to make your eyes water.  

“I… I’m fine,” you croaked, pulling away all-too quickly and scrambling to your feet again. The world swayed dangerously, but you weren’t about to give Javi the satisfaction of holding on to him for support. You were fine, all things considered. “You good?”

Javi nodded, also getting to his feet. “Yeah. Yeah I am.”

You’d been lucky. A quick glance behind you told you the explosion’s epicentre had been close enough to you both to knock you down, but far enough away to avoid any real damage. Hopefully, no one had been injured… or worse. 

Suddenly, it all became too real, too fast, as you realised what had almost happened. You stared at Javi, trying to prove to yourself that you were both ok. 

He wasn’t bleeding. 

He wasn’t wounded. 

He was simply coated in dirt and sweat, and still looking unfairly handsome for it. 

It wasn’t fair. Not by a long shot, and considering the hellish day you’d had, it was no surprise your temper finally seemed to snap, terror quickly gave way to relief, which quickly gave way to something else… Rage. 

“You asshole!” you seethed, slapping Javi’s arm as hard as you could. The yelp he gave wasn’t nearly as satisfying as you’d hoped for, but his surprise was. He looked at you like you’d lost your damn mind. Maybe you had? Who knew anymore? “You utter asshole, Javi! What were you thinking? Actually, you clearly weren’t thinking else you’d never have been so stupid as to pull a stunt like that back there-”

“Stupid? I was looking out for you!”

“I didn’t ask you to, Peña,” you snarled, pointing at him. “Why would you even care if I got a bit of shrapnel in me? It would do you a favour, actually, if I ended up in the hospital for a few days. Give you a break from me and trying to avoid me.”

“What?” he choked, looking genuinely horrified by your declaration. So much so that it took him a minute to realise you’d started to march away from him, intending on getting back to the others and the hell out of here. “Y/N. Stop. Don’t be ridiculous.”

His hand was warm as it touched your arm, turning you to face him as he had that night in the hallway. Yet again, you were forced to recoil, growling at the pity you found staring back at you. 

“Do NOT touch me!”

“What-?“

“You can’t even look at me for a whole month, Peña, and suddenly you’re willing to be some hero? Taking a damn hit for me? Throwing yourself on top of me like that? How dare you!” you hissed, pure rage and hurt coursing through you as the adrenaline wore off. “I am as capable an agent as you are. I know you don’t think all that highly of people without pricks between their legs, but I don’t need you protecting me. I don’t need anything from you. Not when we both know you don’t care. You made that pretty clear last time.”

Javi blinked, hands on his hips, as if trying to process what the hell was happening. Even through your outrage, you hated knowing that the pain in his eyes was your fault. “Last time? Now wait a fucking minute, if you’re talking about the night Xiomara died-”

“What other fucking night would I be talking about, asshole?” 

“I don’t know! Stop yelling at me and calm down!” 

“I AM CALM!” you screamed, hating the irony of the moment. At least Steve and Carillo weren’t there to witness it. As it was, you could feel the eyes of several officers staring at you as you gave them a show you didn’t need. “Now, why don’t you just do us both a favour and fuck off. You’ve done your hero thing. It worked well last time. Your job is done. Completed. Finished. Wouldn’t want me to think you actually cared about me.”  

“Y/N-”

“No, Javi!”

“Y/N,” he snarled, rooting you to the spot as something cold ran down your spine. The feel of his hand loosely gripping your arm was enough to make your heart stop all over again. “Just… let me explain, ok? Please?” 

You’d hardly ever heard Javi say that word: please. Let alone so desperately, so brokenly, as if afraid you’d say no. That you’d walk away and leave him standing there. 

On one hand, it would have served him right given he’d all but done the same thing to you. However, you didn’t have it in you to be petty, and it would have been petty to carry on this feud just to spite him. To cause him pain. To make him feel how he’d made you feel. 

Was it wrong to want that? 

Was it wrong to not want that? To replace this rage with something better? Something else entirely that would make the ache inside of you go away and allow you to get back on with living your life. 

Then again, how could you? How could you go back to how things had been before, with your shared jokes and hidden smiles? With his habit of bringing you coffee from the place you both liked on the corner, every morning? With his kind words and ability to put a smile on your face even after the darkest of days? 

To go back to that also meant going back to him seeing you as a friend and nothing more. To acting as if the private conversations, and the vulnerability he’d gifted you with in your apartment, hadn’t ever happened. To watching as he drank, smoked, and fucked away any real emotion he had. 

Be that as it may, despite it all, he’d at least acknowledged your existence… 

A minute passed before you took a breath and mustered the courage to look back at him. 

“Ok.”

Javi’s body instantly relaxed as he realised what you’d said. “Thank you,” he sighed, gesturing to the waiting helicopter further down the hill. The invitation was clear. “But… just not here, ok? We can talk back at the embassy or at your place, or mine, just… somewhere private.”

You nodded. You had a feeling you’d both need it for the conversation awaiting you both. 

“Ok. We can talk back at mine. Let’s just get the hell out of here first.”

You didn’t have to ask him twice. 

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Simon Said

Welcome to “Better Messed Up Brothers: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s2e5: Simon Said

 Sam has a vision of a man buying a gun, shooting the shop clerk, and then turning the gun on himself. The boys hasten to stop it before it happens, and almost succeed, sort of. It quickly becomes clear that the man was a victim of some sort of supernatural persuasion and then they happen to meet a dude who can Obi-Wan anyone into doing whatever he wants them to do. Turns out this dude is another of Yellow Eye's special children, and both Dean and Sammy are... uncomfortable with how this story seems to be playing out, especially as they discover that Dude has an evil twin brother who's behind the weird deaths.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

  [and we begin:]

  Mace:

whoa, looong previously on

 Lor:

yeha

 Mace:

oh, THIS one

 Mace:

 with the stoner dude

 Lor:

and featuring Lying John

Lor:

YEP

 Mace:

 ooof yeah

 Lor:

lock the rest back up aaaauuuugh

 Mace:

HAHAHA

 Mace:

 ooof this scene is really well done - SO TENSE

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Mace:

 poor Sammy

 Lor:

and this guy is amazing with his attitude that is so out of line with what's happening

 Lor:

yeah

 Mace:

YESYESYES

 Mace:

 "zip it up" DEAN

 Lor:

LOLOL

 Lor:

and then the way his face changes immediately

 Lor:

and he looks around to see what hurt or upset him

 Mace:

yeah

 Mace:

 DEAN WINCHESTER DO NOT CALL HIM A FREAK

 Lor:

ooof nice try at a save, Dean, but NOPE. you sort yourself right now

 Mace:

 snork

 Lor:

oh that DUMB popped collar I love it so much

 Mace:

 so does Jo

 Lor:

yeah she does. correct, jo, but back off

 Mace:

 omg Ash

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

Dr. Badass

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

Sam and Dean exchanging that look

 Mace:

 Sam's poor troubled face

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

OMG Dean's face

 Mace:

subtle Jo

 Mace:

 cripes

 Lor:

LOL

 Mace:

"he sings it from the hair"

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA

 Lor:

lololol

 Mace:

 (he loves REO and we all know it)

 Lor:

(RIGHT?)

 Lor:

"look Jo it's kinda a family thing"

 Lor:

the way he resists opening up to her

 Mace:

 yeah, Jo, get out of it

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

OMG now he's singing it

 Lor:

I luff him

 Lor:

aww, Sammy, let him enjoy it

 Mace:

 I don't think there's even enough interest to resist. it's just... he's not interested

 Lor:

she really isn't his type

 Mace:

 look, Dean called him a freak so he deserves that

 Lor:

HA! fair

 Mace:

mmmm I love the sound of coffee/tea being poured into a cup

 Mace:

 SUITS

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

YAAAAAS

 Lor:

"that van is sweeeet"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA and Sam is having none of his nonsense

 Lor:

yeah

 Mace:

 oh Dean, honey, you're working so hard to convince yourself of all this

 Lor:

ooof this conversation

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Mace:

 omg FRECKLES

 Lor:

YAAAAS

 Lor:

he is so darn CUTE

 Mace:

yep

 Mace:

 "sure, man!" HAHAHA

 Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

 Mace:

 I mean, you KNOW something's seriously wrong here

 Lor:

omg poor Dean

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

mmm Sammy's innocent act after he pulls the fire alarm

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 OBI-WAN-ED

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 ooof poor Sam couldn't save the dude

 Lor:

yeah

 Lor:

awful

 Lor:

omg Sam all hunched over and Dean with the one hand on his shoulder

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

"I'm sorry baby I'll never leave you again"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

okay but he was right aobut OJ

 Mace:

 snork

 Lor:

"let's have a look "

 Mace:

 "I like the Tiger" HAHAHA DEAN

 Lor:

DEEEAN

 Mace:

MOBY DICK'S BONG

 Mace:

 OMG

 Lor:

LOLOLOLOL

 Lor:

I WILL FEED YOU DEAN

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

"Im trying"

 Mace:

 omg you can SEE him trying to stop talking

 Lor:

oooof the truth telling

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 Sam waving Dean to keep back

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

 ugh, I can smell this scene

 Lor:

right?

 Mace:

 i mean the gasoline, not the burning flesh or anything

 Lor:

lolol I figured

 Lor:

Sam hurting and Dean in comfort mode I CANNOT

 Mace:

YAAAASSS

 Mace:

 Sam has SUCH a good troubled face

 Lor:

"this wasn't even a headstart"

 Lor:

YES

 Lor:

I kind of love that Andy is just content

 Mace:

YES

 Mace:

 a dinkus but a sweetheart

 Lor:

yep

 Lor:

omg the SW reference and then it makes Dean giddy

 Mace:

 YES because he made essentially the same reference earlier!

 Lor:

YES

 Mace:

"I have an evil twin"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

lol

 Lor:

Dean checking on him

 Mace:

yeah

 Mace:

Anselm Weems

 Mace:

 i mean honestly

 Lor:

lol

 Lor:

I always forget it's the busboy douche

 Mace:

me too!

 Mace:

 ugh this scene

 Lor:

yeah

 Lor:

and he looks like a weird Elijah Wood and it weirds me out

 Mace:

 OMG I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY

 Lor:

LOL YES

 Lor:

what a sick little puppy

 Mace:

 yup

 Lor:

Sam and Dean are much better messed up brothers than these two

 Mace:

 HA! Yep

 Lor:

"you call him up you go out for a drink"

 Mace:

 HA!

 Lor:

I just really love that Andy has the same powers as his brother and thinks his brother is NUTS

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

YOU LEAVE MY DEAN ALONE

 Mace:

HAHAHA

 Mace:

 that's a harsh scene, too

 Lor:

thank you, Andy

 Mace:

 scary

 Lor:

IT REALLY IS

 Mace:

"you be good, Andy, or we'll be back"

 Mace:

 DAMN

 Lor:

"you be good, Andy. or we'll be back"

 Lor:

OMG

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Mace:

YAS

 Mace:

 Oh Sam, you're fishing here

 Lor:

yeah

 Lor:

he's determined to be freaked out

 Lor:

which. I get it

 Lor:

"it's like being roofied, doesn't count"

 Mace:

 of COURSE he references rufees (sp?)

 Lor:

Right?

 Mace:

 i honestly have NO idea how to spell that

 Lor:

lol

 Mace:

 butt out Ellen

 Lor:

"NOW. Please."

 Lor:

"Nope. Not really."

 Mace:

do NOT call him boy, Ellen

 Mace:

 god, I don't like her

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Lor:

like, normally I'd be all for someone doing that to Dean for... reasons. but she doesn't have the right

 Mace:

 exactly

 Lor:

that's Dean's little brother and he CAN tell you to buzz off cause this is a family thing, ELLEN

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

and it annoys me that Dean is susceptible to it (he turns around right quick) because RAISED BY JOHN

 Mace:

 he's pretty annoyed here at Ellen, though

 Lor:

yeah, he's annoyed but he starts telling her things. maybe he's more following Sam's lead though

 Lor:

I still reserve the right to be mad at John

 Mace:

 yeah I think that's more likely it - he's trying to control the message some and therefore keep Sammy safe

Lor:

Yeah

[choco-glow]

Day of the Dead (Robin)

April 27th.

The bed shifted, creaked as Bruce dragged himself up out of the comfort of his way too expensive (and totally worth it) mattress, followed reluctantly by an equally exhausted Selina. He insisted she use the bathroom first, taking that time to rub his face and scalp, forcing himself into an alertness that he didn’t feel…and Bruce ignored his constantly buzzing phone. He could hear Alfred puttering around in his own room down the hall, Damian’s near silent footsteps alongside his dog’s as the youngest Wayne limped down to let Titus out. Tim…Bruce sighed, knowing that Tim one of two places; passed out in the chair in front of the computer down in the cave, or passed out on the couch in the library, his laptop on the floor.

Either way, he was sleeping, most likely, and Bruce was going to take advantage of that.

“Hey.” He glanced up, and the smile on his lips was small, but real; she looked so good leaning against the doorway in nothing but her underwear and one of his old band tees, tousled hair sticking to her forehead from her shower, a sweet smile on her face, those familiar green-blue eyes always so dark in the morning. Bruce dragged himself upright to wrap her up in his arms, hugging her tight, and Selina melted against him, nuzzling his cheek. “Bruce…”

“Thank you for staying…” He murmured, gratitude thick in his voice, and she patted his bicep, popping up on her tiptoes to kiss his nose.

“Of course, sweetheart. Go wash up and get dressed, I’ll head down and help Alfred with breakfast?”

“Selina, you don’t have to…” She shook her head, chuckling, and he chuckled back, ignoring his impulse to just turn away and go brood. Brooding wouldn’t help today…

“I want to. I know what today is…and why it’s so hard.” He ducked his head, swallowing his next word, and she cupped his cheek. “Bruce. I mean it. Jason…” He lifted his head, blue eyes tired but crinkled from a weary smile.

“I miss him.”

“I do too. Go on. We’ll be waiting for you.” He nodded, and after a lingering kiss, despite Cat’s aversion to morning breath, Bruce let her go. The shower was hot enough to wash away some of the pain from his shoulder and upper back, and after washing up, he carefully redressed the bandage on his thigh, then pulled on a pair of old jeans and a tee shirt. It was Saturday, thankfully, so Bruce didn’t have to worry about a suit, and making his way down the stairs, he was glad to see visitors…especially these visitors.

Four years…four years, he’s been gone now. His heart twinged, but Bruce didn’t have to hold up a mask around Dick, who hugged him tight as soon as his first Robin saw him, nor around Barb, who he knelt to hug as well. Steph looked a little lost, a little nervous to be here, and Bruce hugged her too, whispering thanks to her as he’d done to the rest, and if Steph hugged his waist a little harder, her voice a little thick…well, Bruce wasn’t going to tell.

“Father, Alfred the cat is most worried about you.” Bruce paused as he set Steph back on her feet, turning to face Damian, who was holding his purring tuxedo cat and looking concerned…and Bruce couldn’t help the tiny, choked sob, because Damian looked so much like Jason at that age, his whole being focused on “comfort father”.

“So I see. May I hold him?” Damian nodded, and Bruce gently took the cat, smiling as Alfred bumped noses with him and settled on his shoulder, purring deeper still. “Thank you, Damian…”

“This is an auspicious day; we need all the comfort we can receive…” He murmured, and Bruce hugged his youngest tight, tears spilling over now…and Damian hugged him back, clinging to him tight.

“That’s…that’s true…c’mon everyone, we better get into the kitchen before Alfred the butler and Selina yell at us.” He murmured, and Dick chuckled while Barb smiled and took the lead. Damian pulled away from the hug, but not from Bruce, and they walked in hand in hand, taking comfort from one another. Jason’s photo, the last one taken two weeks before he died, was sitting on the counter, as always, with a candle lit…and the new addition of a tin can with the label meticulously soaked off, full of dandelions, and Bruce paused by it, lips twitching up in a fond smile.

“Master Bruce, I hope you don’t mind…I wanted…well…I remember Jason making those bouquets for us when he was a child…” Alfred murmured, and Bruce just pulled him into a hug, tears running hot down his cheeks now.

“I can’t think of a better thing…It’s perfect. Best bunch of flowers that’s ever entered this house.” They all shared a laugh at that, though Selina, Steph, and Damian looked a little confused, and it was Dick who explained, his voice warm and fond as he remembered all the times Jason would prowl the Wayne grounds, plucking dandelions and purple clovers, filling an old coffee can or tin can full to the brim and bringing them back to the house to share, his smile bright and happy.

“…At first, we offered him the flowers from the garden, and Jason just shook his head, looking scared, and said that he got in trouble for pulling those. No one cared about the wildflowers.”

“Oh, what a sweetheart…” Selina breathed, and Bruce and Alfred settled at the table at last, which prompted Dick to pass them the plate of pancakes and motion to fill up.

“He really was…c’mon, let’s eat, best way to remember our boy.”

“Here here! And whatever we do, avoid Buzzfeed today.” Barb raised her OJ in a toast, and Bruce closed his eyes with a sigh.

“God, I hate Buzzfeed…”

“Same here, old man. Same here.”

—-

Six months I’ve been back, and not a Bat to bother me. Jason settled in for a quiet Saturday morning, and ignored cable for a change; he knew what was going to be all over the news today, and he, for one, didn’t want to hear yet another poignant portrayal of his death. At least Bruce wouldn’t be out in public today; he’d learned that from running through the old news stories from the last few years, and frankly, Jason was grateful for it. It…meant that Bruce at least care enough to mourn him. Even if the goddamn Joker is still alive…

He sighed, and pushed away the anger he still felt at that fact, and pulled out his guns, then pulled up YouTube on his TV. He scrolled through his usual recommended list, feeling…restless and a little out of his element; it was the first death day he’d spent back in Gotham, and his normal goofy favorites just…weren’t going to cut it. Then he saw the one video he didn’t expect to see.

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Jason Todd, Wayne or Robin?

A grin split his face.

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

—-

“Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved. I’m Ryan Bergera, and this is Shane Madej. Today, we are covering the mysterious deaths of two important people in the deadly metropolis that is Gotham City…or are we?”

“Wait, what?”

“Jason Todd Wayne, the adopted son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, and the second Boy Wonder, Robin, both of whom disappeared the same day, April 27th…and have never been heard from again.”

“Ryan, you said it was one murder!”

“And therein lays our mystery, because the more you hear details of the case, the more you wonder if these two boys were really the same person.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…I smell a conspiracy!”

“Shane, you smell lunch.”

“And a conspiracy! C’mon, out with details, gimme something, Bergera.”

“Hold your freakin’ horses, dude, lemme go over things…” Jason watched with unconcealed delight as he disassembled his pistol, cleaning each part as Ryan laid out the admittedly sparse facts of the case; of course, Jason knew the truth, but he was frankly somewhat impressed with the story that Bruce and Alfred had concocted. Of course, they couldn’t say the Joker beat him to death with a crowbar and blew up a building on him ( and even Bruce couldn’t have guessed that Talia al Ghul had stolen his corpse from the morgue, gave them an equally beaten dead kid to bury, and dumped his ass in the Lazarus Pit). But the story of Jason being killed as a hit out on the Wayne family was all too likely.

Batman had a lot of enemies.

Bruce Wayne had a lot more.

“No one was ever charged for Jason’s murder…here’s the last video of the press conference where Bruce explains things.”

“…Jesus, he’s barely keeping it together…I know he’s a billionaire, but he’s got a lot of heart…poor guy…”

“Yeah…I know we tend to fuck around on this channel, but…this kid died. Pretty badly, from what the evidence shows.”

“Man…so, you said there were theories, right?”

“Yeah, and they only get worse from here.”

“Well, we started the program with a dead kid; can’t get any worse than that.” Jason paused the video and just…stared at Bruce’s face, the tears on his cheeks, his exhausted appearance…and sighed a little.

“Sorry Dad…”

—-

“Theory number one: Dick Grayson killed Jason Todd out of jealousy. It was rumored that the brothers didn't get along and Dick and his father didn't have a good relationship when Jason came to the household.” Jason’s eyes narrowed at that one; whoever thought up that crock of shit had another thing coming. Sure, he and Dick had bickered like brothers, but at the end of the day, Dick was his brother from another mother. Even now, even with everything that had happened…Jason missed those hugs something fierce.

“I mean, that’s a pretty cut and dry one…”

“So it would seem…but if you look at the interviews, there’s nothing in Dick’s demeanor that shows any resentment or anger. And both Jason and Dick were orphaned at early ages and adopted by Bruce, so…”

“Yeah, I dunno. It’s cut and dry, but…at the same time, it doesn’t really make sense.”

“Especially given that Dick every year celebrates Jason’s birthday; I mean, killers can be weird, we know that from the last several seasons, but…I dunno. It doesn’t really fit.”

“Probably some asshole detective looking to close it up.”

“Probably…”

“On to number two!”

—-

“Bruce Wayne killed Jason Todd. This was, actually, the first big conspiracy theory to hit the web. Thankfully, it quickly died when people saw just how devastated Bruce was for months after his death, but apparently there are still some trolls on public forums who accuse Bruce Wayne of killing his son.”

“…That’s utter bullshit. Fuckers.”

“Right there with ya, buddy. Right there with ya. Onto three?”

“Please.”

—-

“Jason isn't dead, because of sightings of a homeless boy who wandered all around Crime Alley and looked exactly like Jason Todd. He was completely battered and bruised and suddenly disappeared after a year in the streets, likely due to a trafficking ring.” Jason raised an eyebrow at that, and turned his AK, Shane and Ryan’s incredulousness a comfort. He wasn’t sure why he was still watching this, but…it was kinda nice. Nice to have people be pissed off for his sake.

“Jesus Christ, Gotham, y’all are so dark.”

“May be why their superhero is Batman, dude.”

“STILL. Could this one have some merit, though, since he was an orphan?”

“This one is one of the strongest theories to date, because Jason was from a place called the Narrows, not far from Crime Alley, and according to Wayne Enterprises official documentation in their family museum, Jason had had issues with drugs and abuse, though to what extent, only the family knows. It’s a pretty ugly idea, but…it’s possible.”

“I think I’d rather be dead, Ryan, than go through that.”

“Same. Same…”

—

“Now. We move onto the disappearance of the second Robin, who vanished the same day that Jason Todd supposedly died. Possible theories of the disappearance of the second boy wonder—”

“Ryan. Ryan. Buddy. Champ. Are you implying, really, that Jason and Robin are the same kid?!”

“I’m just reading the script!”

“You wrote the script!”

“…I may be implying that they’re the same, yes.”

“I KNEW IT.”

“You don’t know shit.” Jason started laughing, and paused to get himself a fresh beer, ordering pizza while he was at it. Alright, this wasn’t so bad after all…

—

“He is hiding. Some say he hid from Batman, and some say Batman is hiding him from others. They don't know what, though. Some even say he quit the job.”

“Alright, I’ll bite, who’s ‘some’.”

“Paparazzi, conspiracy theorists, Alex Jones, etc…”

“Ah yes. The enlightened crowd.”

“Pftt…This is the weakest one, so we’ll go ahead and lay out the second theory while we’re at it. The second Robin died. After Robin stopped appearing with batman for an entire year, the same time Jason Todd died. This used to be a widely spread theory, until people realized maybe talking about the death of a boy in a terrorist attack for a conspiracy theory after his father broke down in public isn't the nicest thing to do.”

“And this is your theory.”

“This…is the strongest one I think, and the one that has the most emotional punch. But let’s be real; if the second Robin was indeed Jason Todd, then his Batman HAS to be Bruce Wayne. And c’mon. We’ve all seen the nightmare surrounding THAT theory.”

“Uh, yeah. No thanks, I do not ever need to write another “But the butts don’t match” article ever again in my life.” Jason snorted at that, cracking up laughing, and when he googled “The Butts don’t match”, he had to pause his boys because the ensuing hyena laugh had him flat on his back for ten minutes, absolutely losing his shit.

“Oh Christ, I love the internet…”

—-

“Next theory. He’s a kid, he took a break from vigilante-ing to do something else.”

“Now see, I like this one; that’s like, the most wholesome version. I hope this is the real one, but…”

“I know, man. I know.”

“Sigh.”

“Sigh.”

—-

“Almost there. Some people believe the second and the third Robin are the same, although many people disagree, considering witness reports that they looked very different, and the Robins were very distinctive in their fighting style and personalities.” Jason snorted at that, shoveling a slice of pizza into his gullet, and even the boys were looking a bit annoyed at that theory, Shane more than Ryan.

“Question.”

“Yes?”

“How the hell do they know about fighting styles?!”

“Gotham City Police.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense now.”

“Also, apparently Commissioner Gordon likes the third Robin more, which tells me they’re definitely not the same.”

“Yeah, if anyone other than Batman would know, he would. What’s next?”

“This one is kinda great, but also a bit outrageous.”

“Ooooh, juicy. Spill the beans, Bergera!”

—-

“Some even believe that the second Robin is now the infamous Red Hood. Gothamites have been known to try to stalk the dude but it's never successful, and supposedly, even the Batfam won’t bother him.”

“I mean, that’s a cool story, but how true is it?”

“Considering the guy wears a red freakin’ helmet with eyeholes and no mouth, who knows how true it is?”

“Still a nicer story than the butts. And hey, Red Hood is pretty chill, man, I think he’s probably the best thing to hit Gotham in years.”

“You’re a Hoodie!”

“The fuck is a ‘Hoodie?”

“Red Hood groupie.”

“Uh, hell no, I just think he’s cool.”

“Uh huh…Well, folks, that ties up our deep dive into the murder of Jason Todd, and the disappearance of the second Robin. To date, this case remains…Unsolved.” As the quiet music that ushered in the ending screen and credits, Jason sat back, working his second slice of pizza, and chuckled a little to himself. If only they knew…well. His people knew who he was; old man Falcone figured it out the second day Jason had been home. The Narrows had welcomed their boy back…And they weren’t gonna tell anyone. They didn’t trust Gothamites, they didn’t trust the Bats…which was why Jason had carved out his place here again, with gunfire and brutal justice. They trusted him.

He turned YouTube over to something mindless, and padded over to the window, feeling the sunshine, weak though it was, break through the clouds and warm his skin. Jason leaned against the familiar brick, and opened the window, letting in a rush of cool air, reminiscent of spring.

It was good to be home.

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Thank you so much for tagging me, sorry it took so long to get back to you! I love analyzing things it’s my jam.

I can’t speak on the black experience piece because I am not black and live in a fairly white area but I CAN say with confidence that that it is very very true to the rural poor experience with the “would love to move out of the haunted house. But I have mouths to feed.” And everything about how OJ especially acts and thinks is just very. Horse tamer.

you ARE however 100% right about the exploitation and I think a big part of the exploitation is the theme of voyeurism and modern day spectacle being made of every day life. I mean the opening SAYS it "I will cast abominable filth upon you, make you vile, and make you a spectacle. —Nahum 3:6"

every bit of exploitation in the film is tied to being observed and a want of privacy. From the very beginning with OJs advice on keeping the horse from seeing itself so it doesn’t get spooked getting ignored because he isn’t as flashy as his sister, to defeating Jean Jacket with not one, but three cameras over the course of the movie.

Jupe puts Jean jacket on display and that’s what kills him. Jean jacket hides and camouflages itself the entire movie and eats whoever looks at it.

(there’s also a very solid argument about animal rights because OJ is the only one who gets Jean Jacket because he treats it with the respect animals deserve, not something tamed you can do stuff with but something alive with it’s own rules, but that’s a whole other conversation.)

Jupe gets saved by a shoe, because it’s more interesting to look at, and then puts it on display the rest of his life, and dies by having another display. The camera man gets himself killed on purpose to get better footage. Em beats Jean Jacket by videoing it. Angel lives by being something unpalatable. OJ sets everything up by respecting privacy.

I don’t think Peele accidentally named the main black character Oj, it’s commented on. Every single aspect of this movie is made to look down upon spectacle and a desire to peek into everyone else’s lives and exploit them for views. And I love that theme

So, I just watched Nope, and I can't figure out if it was more about exploitation, the importance of understanding their behavior when working with animals, or the desperate lengths people will go to when strapped for cash (because it seems like that may have been a big motivating factor in Doing All That instead of getting the hell out of dodge).

I think black excellence was also a theme, but I'm gonna be honest, I don't know how to analyze for that.

I'm extremely low energy right now because my chronic phobia-triggering stomach issues have been acting up since Thursday (arguably since Monday), so I don't have the spoons for much in-depth commentary, but I enjoyed it! The plot had a wee bit of a slow start for me, but once it got going, it REALLY got going!

It also had an excellent structure for the climax, hitting a lot of tension-building aspects that made you think "Oh no, they're FUCKED" and then going "Ha! You Thought!!!"

I'm gonna tag @you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be because your posts about it were the reason I chose to watch that movie and you seem to like Analyzing Things.

[talyas-train-blog]

Can you please make some dating headcanons for the Star Tugs, please? (You can do the Z-Stacks later if you want to)

*screaming* IM BACK

I've been working on this for like 2 months, it sat in my drafts box for about a month and a half with just TenCents' and then Big mac was added like a month ago LMAO

Why not make it an even longer post?👀

Star Tugs, Z-Stacks character relationship headcanons

Sorry about the massive post ya'll hope you enjoy

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Star Tugs

Tencents

General

Very loving throughout the whe relationship but can be very hardheaded/stubborn.

Will bring you flowers when ever he can or leaves notes on your door/office.

Loves to cuddle and watch movies at night.

Favorite dates are sitting at the end of the doc and talking with you.

Beginning of relationship

Thought that you would never like him or want to date him so be kind of acted cruel when feelings arose.

And then something happened

You were pushed off one of the tugs once and without thinking TenCents dove into the frigid water after you and pulled you out.

He held you in his arms until medical personnel could show up and he broke down when you left in an ambulance.

He showed up to the hospital the next day with flowers and when he saw the tubes and wires he cried

Throughout your stay he cringed a little as tubes and such were taken out.

He stayed by your side and held your hand until you woke up and kissed you the minute he could.

He told you how much he loved you and how he felt so bad for being such an ass and he ended up spending the night curled up in your hospital bed with you.

Oj and Hercules still have the photos

Big Mac

General

Veey sweet man

Loves to tease you though so be prepared.

Will give you kisses on the cheek as a way to show love or as a goodbye if he's in a rush.

Kind of protective, specifically when it comes to the Z stacks.

Beginning of relationship

You never expected him to have feelings for you. Not because he does what TenCents does, but because he shows his love in ways that you really have to look for.

You work with him? He'll help you and work with you whenever he can.

You live with the fleet? Will try and help you with meals or cleaning or just keep you company.

He vents to you a lot and thats another way you can tell you've learned his trust.

When he asks you out it's more or less a "would you like to see a movie together?" Or something along the lines of that.

Your first "date" was very sweet and he did did his best to spoil you and make you feel comfortable.

The first time he said i love you, you bith looked at eachother stunned and then smiled

10/10 amazing man.

Otis Jones (O.J)

General

Very sweet and traditional lover.

Will compliment everything, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, you hands, anything he can compliment he will atleast twice.

Is traditional in the sense that you aren't officially dating until he takes you out a few times

Holds your hands and give you kisses on your knuckles whenever

He also does this little thing that if your hands are scuffed or dried he'll put lotion on them for you.

Beginning of relationship

Very upfront with his feelings as he knows that keeping them hidden can only hurt your relationship with eachother.

Very politely asks you while making dinner or cleaning the dishes with you.

Doesn't want to tell anyone until your officially together and comfortable with it.

As i said before he wants to take you out and test the waters a few times to see how you feel about dating.

Brings you daisies and always holds your hand when showing you something.

Top Hat

General

Shows his love through buying gifts and surprisingly, dancing!

Is like Otis in the sense that he wants to take you out a few times before being official.

Little side note, your first kiss was on the stern of his boat as the sun went down to the song You Send Me by Sam Cooke during a party.

Beginning of Relationship

Grampus and Billy were the first to find out and Tophat was slightly pissed.

His love language is very much physical touch and buying gifts so things like slow dancing, soft touches, and new jewelry.

Kind of rubs that whole thing in Hercules' face

Doesn't want kids but very much loves yours if you have them or your nieces and nephews.

If you have siblings he will definitely have a drink with them and have long conversations with them so long as they are smart and can be sarcastic.

You have a promise ring with it, it's a thing for if he ever has to go out to sea you know he's with you.

Plans on marrying you as you are the only person he's been very attached to.

Warrior

General

Very much a himbo but he loves you so much.

Fell very hard very very quick and Big Mac kimd of teased him for it but definitely cheered him on.

Very very in love with you and was the first to say I love you.

Beginning of relationship

Isn't good at dancing or with his words so he told you he loved you by writing it out in a letter.

Walks down the docks while you take about your day and how you're feeling are his favorite "dates".

Loves to hear you laugh so very much, it never fails to make him smile.

Will give you kisses randomly and that's how the rest of the fleet found out.

He had a job with SunShine and as a way to say good bye he ran up to you, grabbed you, and kissed you and ran.

50/10 very loving and genuine man.

Hercules (my most developed character LMAO)

General

O h t h i s m a n i s a f l i r t .

Lives to make you flush.

Gave you a necklace with a photo of him and TenCents in it (TC is basically his son).

Gave you little hints that he was smitten with you right off the bat.

Wasn't afraid to ask you to dinner but you weren't official as he wanted to test the water bc past relationships went to hell.

Everyone knew he had actual feelings for you, he was sweeter on you and seemed to trust you more, and smile at you more than the others and is always more goofy around you.

Beginning of relationship

Took you to a bar to go dancing and the song Sh-Boom - Life Could Be A Dream came on and when he dipped you at the end of the song he kissed you and held you close as the next song came on, foreheads pressed together.

Definitely sleeps with you in his arms every night and his two cats sleep with you. (TenCents and Sunshine have konked out with guys a few times.

Dates where you lay out a blanket in a field and read or look at the stars are very common (he does this thing when if you're on your stomach reading he'll lay his head on your thighs or ass)

Again, lives to make you blush and he'll do basically anything to make you turn as red as TenCents' Scarf.

Loves to dance and sing.

Dusk is sometimes spent dancing on his boat.

Loves to dance to hound dog with you

Sunshine

General

Relatively mature lover.

Very gentle and sweet on you and loves to make you laugh and smile.

Could be covered in grease or dust after work and would still bring you flowers or a sea shell he found if he got the chance.

"Oh boy, here comes lover boy Sunshine!" -tophat

Big mac definitely soothed him into telling you about his feelings.

Beginning of relationship

Very nervous to tell you and stuttered a little when talking to you.

Grabbed your hand by accident one day and thats when you turned to him and told him you had feelings for him.

Poor man almost passed put and fell into the water out of pire relief.

Nights spent watching movies or sitting on the beach talking about dumb things together are his favorite ways to spend time with you.

Z-stacks

Zorran

General

Oh god you never thought he had feelings for you.

He was a complete asshole and seemed to live pissing you off.

So when he asked you out you were stunned and almost turned him down, but decided you would give it a shot.

Very difficult man, but he was a lot softer on you after a little while.

Beginning of relationship

This relationship definitely started by you snapping at him over something hime dod and him leaning down to your face and saying something like "well aren't you a cutie"

You just about smacked him and then it settled in that he was basically flirting with you.

First date consisted of a walk down the streets of San Francisco (yes this au is in SF CA bite me.)

He took you into a shop and pointed out a cat stuffie that you said looked like one you had when you were little and he bought it for you with a red bow on it a few days later.

His love language is definitely gifts.

Zebedee (my love)

General

Absolutely lover man

Basically the Hercules of the Z-stacks just a little harder to read.

Has a son. His name is Zip. You are a parent now.

Zebedee was brought up in a weird house hold so he works very hard to make sure you are comfortable and he doesnt make the relationship miserable.

Beginning of relationship

Was quite open about the whole thing and surprisingly practically cussed out Zorran when he started with his shit.

Very much a sweetheart and would do anything with you if he could.

Zak

General

Dickwad. Doesn't know how to show his love for you, but it's there.

Shows his love by being protective and always being aroune basically.

Very rarely actually smiles but when he does cherish the fucking moment.

Beginning of relationship

"Sir wtf everyone thinks you hate them" kind of vibe.

Thought he just wanted to get to know you but now you're a week into the relationship and holy fuck i want to get married.

Wants to hold your hand most of the time and just hear your voice.

Zug

General

Little bit of an asshole but tries his best

Buys you little things like journals if you like to write or seeds if you have a garden.

Wears ties and always has you pick them out and if you aren't around he wears the one with your favorite flowers or colors on it.

Beginning of relationship

Teases you and acts like a big man when you first get together but then he realizes how much he loves you and becomes a big softy.

Loves to cuddle randomly and Zorran is a little piss baby about it

Loves everything about you, especially your eyes and he always makes it known.

Zip

General

Kind of a ditz but you have to love him for it.

He was a stuttering mess when he told you he had caught feelings and held out a single sunflower for you to take.

Loves to lay his hedon your lap as you play with his hair and talk or watch a movie.

Likes to write stories, a lot of them involve you, and he reads them to you! He's a very good writer and so many of his characters are really well developed and beautifully designed.

He has a little brother named Zacary (Xacary?) and his brother often helps Zip set dates and such up

Beginning of relationship

I have a little headcanon that Zip might have partial autism but he has ADHD and he was abused as a kid so the relationship is a little rough for him at first.

Adjusting to the whole thing of hey they love me, i love them, i can trust them.

But as he warms up he helps more, and dances with you more, and begins to really thrive in the relationship.

Is definitely in love with you even if he forgets to tell you some days.

He's trying his hardest, give him a little time

Zorran definitely had feelings for you qnd was pissy when you fell for Zip and Zip fell for you

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Gonna add Boomer, Lillie, Billy, Grampus, and Cappy on later in a reblog.

[solomonish]

Also sorry to hear you’re low on energy. I’ll send some spare batteries your way ❤️

Here’s some fluff for ya: Lucifer who keeps something of yours in his pocket like a worry stone! He can discreetly feel it in his pocket when stressed or idly keep his hands busy when reading over documents. It’s nothing major or flashy, but it reminds him of you even when you’re not able to be by his side.

For Solomon, I think he would find it absolutely adorable and endearing if you come up behind him and put your hands over his eyes with a “guess who?” Especially if he’s on one of those kicks where he’s absolutely lost track of any semblance of time. Just hours and hours of research have passed him by and this poor man has no idea. I mean, time really doesn’t mean much to him. But your time is precious and you want him there! Remind him to take breaks, but in a fun cute way that he gets to not only play along with but feel your contact and presence with!

Thank u....it happens ig lol but I appreciate the batteries!

The worry stone is so sweet, especially if its just a plain old rock you found like "oh this rock is cool" "do you collect rocks?" "No but its shiny and look at the layers" and you hand it to him and forget about it, but he looks at the vaguely sparkly rock and then back at you and then quietly slips it in his pocket and thats how that started. (You said stone and I instantly thought of real rocks hdjgisof whoops)

OR I'm a sucker for enchanted jewelery so what if he "teaches you magic" but he tells you "pick something small of yours that you wouldn't miss" and so he tells you to try to enchant the little hair clip or Keychain and nothing happens! So you're like oj darn and don't even notice how he distracts you and then takes the Keychain and when he focuses he can feel it radiating a little bit of heat like holding your hand <3 sometimes his hands are warmer than usual so the Keychain feels colder and he'll text you like "is it cold? Are you cold? Do you have a jacket?" And you're like lucifer.....its summer. But he just worries !

And Solomon.....the loml.....being an anchor for him just! Hits!! And he loves the little playful things you do too there is just so much about you that he loves! The moment your hands are over his eyes he just SNAPS back and thinks "how could I have wasted hours i could've spent with you what in the world" and he just. UGH I wanna smooch him so bad ty ty

[popculturebuffet]

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 2: The Ballad of Duke Balloney or “I’m Flintheart Glomgold and I Always Will Be!” (Commission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people. I”m Jake, I review stuff and today continues my look at Ducktales season 2 story arcs, of Moons, Millionares and Mothers. And while this arc as a whole is paid for by WeirdKev27, due to the Arc’s length, 17 parts including 15 episodes and 6 comics (2 of which will be in the same review), this one’s special as he’s using his patreon review every month to do so. If you too want me to review something of your choice simply hit up my ask box or join my patreon at patreon.com/popculture buffet. You get access to my discord, to pick a short when I do a group of them for characters birthdays, help me hit neat stretch goals like my next which is reviewing a darkwing duck episode a month, and best of all EXCLUSIVE REVIEWS. And I just added one this saturday of a carl barks story centerting around wigs, legal battles and attempted murder, both by our villian.. and by our heroes...

I will never get tired of that panel nor the boys inexplicably finding a blowgun. Point is it’s there if you want it at THIS LINK, but enough plugging so I can help pay the streaming bills and keep doing this... let’s get to the meat of things shall we?

This episode begins the second arc of this retrospective, The Glomgold Arc. And this arc was inevitibly going to come to this blog for two reasons. The first is that I have made no secret, in fact i’ve shouted it as loud as I can the neighbors are concerned, that I fucking love the 2017 Version of Flintheart Glomgold. 

Glomgold is Keith Ferguson’s best role, tied with Lord Hater obviously, but it is indeed a tie. No one but Keith could’ve pulled off glomgold’s combination of ego, ham, and batshit insanity. He just makes the utterly stupid and wonderfully ludicrious things that come out of the mans mouth sound so damn natural with such an unearned confidence. It’s very clear that Frank had Keith in mind when putting this version of everyone’s faviorite South African Billionare pretending to be a Scottish Billionare and wisely built the characcter around him and his immense talent. I was not familiar with Keith at all, wasn’t even aware he voiced hater before this show but damn if that hasn’t fully changed. 

Glomgold was also just in general a brilliant update of the character: While I know a lot of duck fans weren’t happy with this version at least at first. As the action figure sitting on my shelf that once road in a car with my david hasslehoff baywatch funko pop I have entirley due to my love of baywatching,  this insane music video hoff did in the early 2000′s, and just in general how gloriously rediculous the man’s life is when you stop and think about it for a second from a pay per-view concert that ended up falling on the same night as The OJ Chase,  to his kung fury cameo , to his weird insetence they never had sex on baywatch desspite mounds of video evdience and the fact the show was buit around the bulk of it’s cast’s sex appeal, to the fact the model of his pecs used for the spongebob movie was sold in an auction and on and on... I was going somewhere with this...

Oh right as the action figure, and previous praise, shows I am not one of these fans: The original isn’t bad, in fact one of my faviorite life and times chapters that i’ll be covering this week and talking about later in the review has him as the main antagonist and a pitvitol figure in Scrooge’s life in the worst way possible. Rosa GETS what’s needed for Flinty to feel specail: to have him be an evil mirror to scrooge, what he could’ve been had he kept down the path he started down in Africa. A ruthless, amoral asshole who will do ANYTHING to get rich. 

It’s just often that isn’t emphasised enough and he’s instead just another one of the millions of generic assholes trying to get scrooges money sometimes with hired goons...

Not only that but Frank really COULDN’T have him at full effectivness. See an arch enemy in the Silver Age, which STARTED the same year Glomgold Debuted no less, wasn’t a big deal. They were still considered your deadliest foe but they’d often, much like Flinty be shuffled into the rogues gallery, show up for an issue to meance the hero, then either escape, get thrown in jail only to escape from that easily later, or be presumed dead. The last one I bring up because it happened to Magneto a LOTTTT pre-claremont. For Fuck’s Sake Charles have those teenagers train to look for a body once in a while!

Original Flinty was built for that, and brilliantly so as Barks had a talent for it , as seen by the fact The Beagle BOys, Flintheart and Magica have stuck around ever since and even in comics overseas where Flintehart is replaced.. it’s by Rockerduck who Barks ALSO created. The 87 Show followed the same formula, which was just as standard for 80′s cartoons. It’s why Megatron took until his toy was canceled the movie to shoot starscream in the face. 

The problem is villians evolved and the expecation became more that a true arch enemy had to be a true threat. While Frank and Matt COULD’VE made Flintheart a real and honest threat, he also would’ve had to make him a Big Bad. The probelm was those seats were clearly taken: while i’m pretty sure some ideas came as they went, the main story beats were clearly planned out well in advance: Webby being a clone was always the plan, as was FOWL, Darkwing being a fan of a fictional Darkwing who became the real thing, and Della being on the moon. So he presumibly carefully choose each season’s big bad... and thus Season’s 1-3 would be full up wise. Season 1 had Magica, who he made into a TRUE threat, yet left the door open for her to return as she did, Season 2 had Lunaris who even if they hadn’t fully thought him up, they probably had thought up the moonvasion, and Season 3 was what they’d built the series towards with FOWL. 

Details probably changed, it’s very clear to me they were likely going to have all three buzzards be important and ended up deicding to pivot to it just being Bradford over time. But given how well they though tout the general framework, I highly doubt Flinty was ever considered as a seirous big bad.. and I know i’m saying this in an arc that tried to set him up as one, but i’m getting there simmer. 

So they could wait for a season 4 that might not happen.. or make him a recurring villian. So Frank and Matt decided to do that and leaned into comedy. Centering him around keith who Frank worked with previously on Wonder and thus knew he could play a hammy manchild like no one else, they simply leaned into the goofier aspects of his personality. His being similar to scrooge became him being an intentional and blatant knockoff. As Scrooge himself perfectly summed up in episode 1 “The poor man’s version of me.. which to be fair still makes him insanely rich”. 

It’s another reason to really love this version as while yes, they did make him a bafoon.. he’s a wonderfully, redicuously layered bafoon: He still contrasts scrooge perfectly, manically hammy to Scrooge being calm, especially around flinty, blantatly crooked to Scrooge’s died in wool honesty, and wasting money on revenge instead of spending it on his actual company. There’s more obviously but some i’m saving for the review. 

Not only that but his insane schemery has a rhyme and reason to it: He attacks Scrooge every week like the saturday morning cartoon villian he is, but his schemes are always unwieldly and massively stupid, and he always goes with the first draft. It’s something the team enforced: the first version is what they role with because that’s how his sad brain works. He also is obssed with sharks and explosives, the former being given a suprisingly heartfelt and unsuprisingly insanne origin story towards the series end, and works them into every plot no matter how much itm akes no sense. He’s pure ego, pure stupid and pure fun. 

So yeah circling back to him being the big bad, I felt he was made one for this season for two reasons: the first is while a lot of fans (raises hand) enjoyed this version, some didn’t like how inept he was, so this would give them a breif bit of Flintheart being a genuine threat again. The other was frankly... they didn’t want to play their hand. Lunaris WAS the big bad... but fans would get supscious if there was seemingly no true threat on the horizon. Magica popped up in episode 4. We didn’t know her full plan yet true, but all we needed was lena SAYING HER NAME and fans of any other version of teh Disney Ducks would instantly go “Oh shit there she is”. So fans would now have the expectation of a main antagonist.. but would be instantly supscious of Lunaris and Penumbra if there wasn’t one for the first third of a season it took to them, and it’d leave a gap in the story to not have someone driving the plot on earth. 

So Flinty got an upgrade.. a slight one and we’ll talk about the eb and flow. And thus he got a proper origin. Now granted they could’ve planned this too, but this one’s harder to tell as the curse you me gag could’ve been a clever setup or could’ve just been a one off gag they somehow turned into an entire episode. So Flinty got an arc.. and a comedic foil, the other reason this was inevieble, and Kev’s faviorite character, Zan Owlson. So how did it work out for them? Well we’ll begin that journey under the cut. 

We begin our story a few months ago.... on every level really: the months ago shadow war aired when this episode originally good, the months ago I reviwed Shadow War (which via counting I found out was my 200th episode not counting Patreon. Nice), and most importantly for this story, the four months ago before the present day of Season 2. 

Glomgold saying curse you me as he fell into the bay during the Shadow War.... only for once in his life he dosen’t somehow get out of it unscathed and instead passes out, almost drowning. He’s found by Fisher and Mann, two fisherpersons... Mann is specific about that due to being a woman despite the obvious irony. It’s a good gag. Flinty acts like he normally would.. hostile, demanding that they know who he is.. and while they don’t.. neither does he. 

Cue credits and cue present day. Via a newscast with Roxanne we learn what I mentioned earlier: It’s been four month and Glomgold’s been missing. The general mood.. has been about what you’d expect. 

Yeah Roxanne turned on him real fast. I genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if it was because he later openly bragged about stealing scrooge’s money during the shark thing on live tv at some point, making Roxanne look terrible for enabling him and for blatantly supporting him earlier. I mean.. how else do you get a corrupt journalist to do anything decent. 

But with Glomgold gone SOMEONE’S gotta replace him.. and that someone is Zan Motherfucking Owlson. Top of her class at Mouseton Univesity, Owlson is the show once again updating things: previously they added Mark Beaks to the Rogue’s Gallery as he contrasts the 50′s (scrooge ) and 80′s (glomgold) idea of billionares from previous versions of the property being a modern tech weasel. Though instead of just one thing Owlson represents a few: The most obvious is she’s a woman of color: Having a black woman in such a high position of power is something disney would’ve outright vetoed in the 50′s and 80′s. Here it’s well accepted as it always should have been. It also feels like a delebrate move on Frank’s part: There weren't’ any major african or african american coded characters in season 1, despite the show being very open and accepting, so that needed to change. The other is frankly outside of Brigtaa MacBridge, whose also weirdly absent from this series for some reason and has taken Fethry and Rockerduck’s place as the most major overseas duck character to never get adapted, there are hardly ever any females on Scrooge and his richer foes level. He’s had the occasional female rival or suitor, but only Brigittta had staying power and while I love the idea of her, another person as rich as scrooge whose willing to spend more and has a crush on him, she badly needed an update as she’s essentially Adventure Era Amy Rose in a grown ass woman’s body. 

Owlson also provides a diffrent dynamic in that she portrays the ideal of what we’d want from a ceo: She’s honest, works hard, earned her way as square as scrooge did, gladly donates to charity and is extremely charismatic and intelligent. Granted most CEO”s are nothing like this but still, she’s what we WANT them to be. Using the money not for themselves or taking big paychecks but to help people. She also provides something Glomgold needed: a straight man. While he has one in Scrooge at times, Owlson unlike both of them is a fully functional resonable human being. Scrooge, while a good person deep down, can be reckless, impulsive and greedy, and Glomgold had a tarzan like experince with sharks, goes on to name his dummy son sharkbomb, and tried to murder Scrooge on live television twice that we know of. She’s the calm, snarky, put upon sane person trying to reign in the crazy shark explosion man. 

Owlson dosen’t get a ton to do here, but that will change and she does get a decent amout in the final scene. But what she does here establishes who she is and how sh’es FIXED Glomgold industries; She’s shut down the vast number of money sinking scheme related departments, set ups everal charities, and is even setting up a new one with Scrooge, Dimes for Ducklings. In short she knew exactly what was needed to fix the company and it’s image and did so in FOUR MONTHS. Probably even less given they had to be sure Glomgold wasn’t coming back right away. I guarantee he’s faked his death like 10 times just to try and kill scrooge. They have to make sure it’s real first.  As one last note before we move on, Owlson is played by Natasha Rothwell, a producer and writer who i’ve only seen outside of this in Love, Simon and Sonic the Hedgehog.. that is a weird combo of things that mean a LOT to me I haven’t been able to bring up here again. 

We find the tv this was all playing on on the docks with a non-anthro segull pecking it while a bunch of fisherpersons go about their day. We also get this guy. 

Add him to the list of spinoffs I want THE LIST OF SPINOFFS JAKE WANTS: 1. Darkwing Duck 2. Donald, Daisy and the Kids 3. The Sabrewings 4. Tailspin Reboot 5. The Flintheart Glomgold Show 6. A Sequel Movie 7. This Guy Punching A Fucking Fish 

So you might be wondering when any of our main cast are going to show up.. and why the fish puncher isn’t in said main cast. Well that’s about now as Webby and Louie are fishing. Well okay more acuratley webby is fishing because she genuinely enjoys it and Louie is tagging along so he can nap on a boat while Webby paddles him around. That plan is threatnned by her spear fishing and he suggests using rods instead, but they need bait for that. 

Naturally, given we need to get this plot going our heroes run into Duke Baloney, aka an amnesiac Glomgold. Understandably, both of htem think this is some sort of scheme at first because waiting for someone related to Scrooge to stroll by his fish stand for some sort of shark themed trap, especially since he’s right near the water so he dosen’t have to worry about keeping them hydrated like that time he dropped one from a plane onto scrooge’s board meeting with two chainsaws strapped to it. But .. it’s not. While we the audience saw him amnesiac, and at first I thought that spoiled the episode... it really dosen’t. He still ACTS like himself on instinct, so your not sure if he faked it as part of some elaborate scheme or is really gone till this scene shows that, no he really isn’t there. And the how is simply in knowing the guy: Glomgold is not good at subtley. He has disguises and such, but their never remotely convincing. He could NEVER pull off  actually being a humble fish monger nor have gone four fucking months without yelling at scrooge or remotely contacting him. There’s also the fact Fisher and Mann 100% belivie in duke and back up his very real story of being dredged out of the bay. There’s also his south african accent, which actors including David Tennant himself have admitted is one of the hardest to pull off but Keith does swimingly, which is a hint.. but only on rewatch or for those who know his comics origins. 

Louie isn’t convinced which is fair: even if Glomgold isn’t good at this sort of thing, he’s still tried it a lot. Webby however correctly figures he has amensia. So the two simply try talking to him. Fisher and Mann do get a bit dickish laughing off the idea he’s possibly Glomgold.. despite the fact you know you dredged him out of the fucking water 4 months ago.. and if you actually looked at the news, would see Glomgold disappeared around the exact same time you found Duke. It just annoys me because otherwise these two are great characters: Friendly loveable fisherpersons who love their job, have no comeptiviness and genuinely want to help their friend duke. The encounter does have them seeing a fancy money clip Duke has but with no other options they leave for now. 

But while Duke has forgotten who he was... bits of glomgold still stir within him. And that starts when Duke spots the McDuck Industries fishing boat, the best fishing boat on the sea, something his friends are okay with.. but Duke naturally isn’t. So while Duke was a calm sane fisherman before the true glomgold in him is on full display as he comes up with insane schemes involving fish and explosives, before presenting a rather insane scheme to his friends involving getting engineering degrees and other stuff.. it’s as poorly drawn and wonderful as you expect from him. But what’s telling is that he reigns it in when his friends show obvious concern with his actions... something Glomgold would NEVER do. For one he dosen’t have friends. For another, he doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings or thoughts. 

By now Webby is also championing that Duke is a diffrente person.. which is true. Duke is Glomgold stripped of his hate and resitment towards scrooge. He’s who the man COULD’VE been had he not sworn eternal vengeance on Scrooge. Louie is doubtful that he’s amnesiac still.. but neither can quite figure out the full story so it’s time for research.. and for Webby to accidentally knock Louie into some lobster traps.. which given he’s spent the entire episode assuming an amnesiac man isn’t that despite all the evidence to the contrary, he earned that. That said these two were the perfect choice for it: All of the boys have a bit of skeptic in them, and we already had a plot with Huey being skeptical.. and even he would’ve given up by now as would dewey since he only has a pinch at best. Webby.. has none. She can question motives and stuff sure, but at her heart she’s a kind forgiving soul who belives the best in everyone. And.. its’  paid off fo rher. Look at the whole Lena situation, she believed in her, even while Lena was actively manipulating her,.. and it truly changed her, convinced Lena to do the right thing despite the cost, to choose love over the abusive monster who made her. It’s the only missed opportunity in the episode for me. Character wise it has exactly the 8 it needs to tell the story and focuses heavly on the five it truly is about. But not having Webby bring up Lena when we don’t hear her mentoined AT ALL during her absence (though to the shows credit they did a good job showing Webby still had never remotely given up), and it made the wait more agonizing and would’ve made her motivations hit even harder: that she belives in duke because she believed in lena and it was real. And while this thank christ isn’t remotely romantic, the point does stand: She wants to see the best. 

Louie is a conman by nature so he only sees the worst, the weakest in people, the things he can use to take htem down or take hteir money. He can’t fathom someone doing good because he can’t fathom HIMSELF being good. And that.. says a lot.. but he’s accepted himself as a shady conperson who cares only for himself.. even if that’s not the truth. His inclusion here enhances his own arc much like Huey’s role in quack pack enhanced his. It shows that deep down Louie dosen’t think much of anyone.. and probably not himself. That he has to be shady and greedy to survive when that’s not tru. Sharper than the sharpies yes but also square.

One last bit before we moved on  I just found out though: The Crew originally had this as a straight up origin story: no kids, none of the rest of the duck family, except presumably Scrooge’s parts here, just Glomgold’s struggle with amensia and his past leading to who hei s now. Honestly I think that version could’ve worked, but likely given disney seems TERRIFIED of making a show starring an adult without a chlid and had to be talked into the child light Golden Lagoon, that was a non starter but I think it still works fine. I also foudn this out via a twitter thread of Frank’s rewriting history that goes in deep on teh production of each episode. Had I known this existed before writing this one, I would’ve used it for the other two arcs and most dangerous game night, but I intend to read through it so I have everything on the table from here on out. 

For only the second time in her long career of researching stuff though, Webby has hit a dead end. Mostly because she couldn’t find anything on Duke.. and NOTHING on Glomgold’s past pre-Duckburg. The most she has is his visa...

I want to frame this on my wall.. and someone is actually seling id cards out there, so I want this one at some point. It’s not Disney because they don’t care about fan merch like this, but then that just means they don’t get the money because they didn’t think of it or put the work in then huh. 

But yeah with nothing else our heroes go to the only person they know who knows him well...  Scrooge. 

Meanwhile Duke has .. this... I just.....I can’t put words to this truly bizzare surreal dream sequence.. it involves Glomgold going insane, the kids dancing on a bagpipe, and owlson is there.. despite the fact that Glomgold should have zero idea whot hat is. I think the kids mentioned here but even then, he somehow knows exactly what she looks like.

Otherwise good stuff and it’s raining hard as Duke goes in. Fisher and Mann have formally added him to their sign, and warmly welcomed him in and Duke says “this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me I think” which is probably true. and makes what’s coming all the more heartbreaking. 

But before what’s coming Duke has another thing coming.. Scrooge who the kids brought to talk to him. The two talk casually, the kids watch not knowing.. and then Scrooge comes back to them. Turns out Webby was, unsurprisingly right on the money, Flinty does have amnesia, and unlike what Louie thought.. he isn’t inherently evil. Duke is just duke.. and Scrooge has no intention of fixing the amnesia. And while that SOUNDS bad.. his intentions are noble: Glomgold.. was a throughly miserable person. He was never happy and never would be till Scrooge was dead by his hand and that was never going to happen.  It isn’t even taking an enemy off the board: Flinty is only a threat on occasion. Scrooge clearly ENJOYS their conflict: it may annoy him from time to time, but he clearly enjoys upstaging the guy. And as he points out, it’s not a brain injury or anything: Glomgold is practically immortal as Louie put earlier, and Scrooge outright mentions Glomgold’s taken a LOT of explosions to the face. So he’s in no real danger physically or emotionally.. he’s happy. He has friends, a calling he truly enjoys. There’s another reason too but we’ll see that in the final scene. 

So Duke is finally happy... but it doesn’t last... the kids go out but a storms a coming, and Duke selfleslly heads out to save them.. only to get hit on the head and fall in the ocean again. 

It’s here we get the 2017 version of Glomgold’s origin story. We did kinda get one with life and times, as we saw his first meeting with scrooge and why he hated him, long story short with the long story coming later this week Glomgold left Scrooge for dead and Scrooge’s response was to come back, kick the fuckers ass, tar and feather him and utterly humilaite him, leading to Flinty swearing vengance. 

But while I love that version..t his one is just as awesome if not better. And it’s without having Scrooge ride a lion. Here we instead meet Flinty as a child Scrooge’s age... and as a shoeshine boy. Yup just like Scrooge Duke, Glomgold’s birth name, was an industrious young boy with big dreams. He also had unwieldy schemes from minute one, but Scrooge saw in this lad the same fire he had and tried replicating his own origin. 

The problem was... the different context ruined it. Scrooge was paid by an equally poor ditchdigger the us equilvent of his pay: still useless in scotland, but a good lesson in hard work and not being swindled. Scrooge tried that... as the richest duck in the world and without giving flinty the same amount of money. 

So Duke/Flinty took umbrage at this yelled at scrooge.. and pick pocketed his money clip. In the only bit taken from the rosa version of their first meeting, Scrooge never realized he’d met flinty already. There and then duke came up with his first true, and first insane scheme: Save the money and use it to mold himself into a richer, more scottish version of scrooge dedicating his life to one upping him and killing him. A “single white female” type thing as Frank put it. 

It’s.. utterly brilliant... taking Glomgold being a knockoff as mention and just running with that... making Glomgold a LITERAL knockoff. This was indeed the plan all along: A way to have him be both south african and scottish and it was brilliant. It also gives him more depth and more tragedy: He COULD’VE been the next scrooge.. but instead of being his own man or learning any of the hard lessons scrooge did he doubled down on never learning anything and getting vengeance on an old man’s well meant but accidently classist gesture. 

So Glomgold reawakens and while it first looks like he’s going to save the kids... he instead throws Webby into the raging sea, and steals their fish. Webby is heartbroken and Louie asks him “what about duke.” His response is heartbreaking as it is character defnting

“I”m Flintheart Glomgold and I always will be!” the lightning shot, the cackle..i t’s just such a damn good moment that underscores the tragedy of the episode as Glomgold’s new friends are horrified by what he is now and what he was always meant to be and Glomgold leaves to go stalk scrooge once again. He indeed is Flintheart Glomgold and always will be.. because he threw the decent person he could’ve been away. He’s miserable.. because he can’t let go of his rage or ego and just move on from something that happened to him when he was ten! He has to be in his 60′s now! Glomgold may think Scrooge is his worst enemy.. but it’s really Flintheart Glomgold.... and it always will be. 

So naturally his first actoin is to storm into his company and scream at scrooge. How he found him there... honestly not a huge suprise it’s his company and he likely knows how to find scrooge anywhere because he’s a creep like that. Scrooge and Owlson’s reactions are both worth a look at:

Given Glomgold bursts into an already annoying meeting of Scrooge trying to get the dimes part knocked down to nickles (and likely lower before that given he mentioned Pennies earlier), to accuse Scrooge of trying to trick him by appearing as a boat in his dreams her bafflement is both understandable and hilarious. Like she probably HEARD what Glomgold was like but gennuinely didn’t belivie it and her face is just now frozen in a look of “oh my god they were not exagearating what fresh hell is this”. 

She tries to be professional and introduce herself but he just brushes her off and yells at Scrooge blaming him for being forgotten (”You literally forgot yourself), with Owlson also considering calling security. She only dosen’t because Scrooge points out he’ll tire himself out eventually and as usual for their jousts, is not remotely threatened or worried. He’s just..sad. And getting back to his reaction.. that’s what’s telling about his plan. He probably KNEW this would happen. He in his heart knew Duke Balloney would be gone soon, and he’d have to deal with Glomgold again. It helps soften the implicatoins: it wouldn’t last and fraknly if it did Scrooge would probably have people check on him regualry to make sure he was okay. He’s not a monster.. he just wanted Flinty to be happy for five minutes and to not ruin that out of some misplaced sense of right and wrong.. when the right thing was to simply let the man be happy till it inevitably blew up. 

Glomgold however, furious at being forgotten and cast aside has decided to take a huge poorly thought through gamble and challenges scrooge to a classic Scrooge comics trope between the two, but with higher stakes: A contest to see who will be the richest duck in the world by the end of the year.. and given Christmas happens right after this i’m just assuming he means a year from now. Winner gets both companies and fortunes. Scrooge scoffs at this.. till Flinty pulls out the clip, taunting him with how he did it and “If I can beat you once scrooge i’ll beat you again”. And this, Flinty revealing he stole from him and he NEVER KNEW it or realize it, enrages scrooge enough to agree and to take him seriously... meanwhile Owlson.. just tries to get actual work shit done and just forges their signatures. Look she is a woman of color in the business world with genuinely good motives... she’s probably used to using white nonsense to get things past two idiots having a peeing race. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is truly excellent and like Most Dangerous Game Night! i’d forgottne just HOW good it was. The pacing, the comedy, and the character work is all on full blast and i’ve gushed plenty enough about how great an origin story is. it’s a character piece that explains why this doofus is the way he is and that is what holds him back. 

Next time on MMM: Louie’s back as he pulls a ghostbusters to make quick money and Storkules starts rooming with Donald with predictable results. 

If you liked this review consider joining my patreon and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[rye-views]

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) dir. Blake Edwards. 7.5/10

This is much more romanticized than when I watched it in high school. It’s such a romantic beauty. I don’t know what kind of girls guys like, but I can see a romanticizing guy liking her.

Poor cat during Fred’s death discovery and the rain.

This movie is a bit racist.

I love Audrey Hepburn. Her facial expressions and class are so good. She’s so amusing.

Spoiler: [About Holly Golightly looking at Tiffany’s while eating some breakfast. She then rushes into her apartment as an old date, Sid Arbuck, tries to get her to be with him. He talks of how he gave her good cash when she asked for change for the powder room. During their conversation, Holly’s neighbor, Mr. Yunioshi, an artist, yells at her for being disruptive and waking him up to open the door. Holly goes to sleep and is awoken to someone needing the door opened to the building. She opens the door and the man is Paul Varjak, who apologizes for waking her and asks to use her phone. He had just moved here. She feeds her cat and gets ready quickly when she learns that it’s Thursday. She goes to Sing Sing weekly to visit a prisoner, Sally Tomato, and pass on a weather report for money. Paul sees her off until he bumps into Emily, who he introduces as his decorator. In the evening, Holly escapes her home through her restroom window. She’s avoiding her date. She goes to the fire escape and sees into Paul’s window. She watches as Emily puts cash on his table and leaves him with a kiss goodbye. When Emily is gone, Holly enters his window and talks to him. She talks of her Sing Sing visit and how she understands him getting paid by Emily. She sees Paul’s books since he’s a writer and she talks of how he looks like her brother, Fred, so she will call him that. Fred is in the army. She ends up falling asleep on his bed as friends and awakes to him asking about her nightmare. She leaves back to her place. Paul comes home later to a note from Holly inviting him to drinks tonight. Emily calls to make alter plans with him. Holly’s place has a party full of many people. Paul is greeted by Holly’s agent, OJ. OJ talks to Paul about how he changed her from the country girl she was and how she’s a fake, but a real fake. The party continues and Holly sees Mag Wildwood enter with two men, José da Silva Pereira and Rusty Trawler. Holly knows Rusty to be the 9th richest man in America under 50. She mingles with Rusty even though he’s not as good looking as José. Paul answers the phone and learns that Mr. Yunioshi will be calling the cops on the noise. José can’t get involved with the cops, so he escapes with Paul. Holly leaves with Rusty. Holly goes to Sally with Paul and gets her finances done by him. Paul starts writing again and hears Holly sing and play guitar at her window. Emily then shows up to his place and mentions a man who has been in front of his building for two days now. She thinks her husband had sent someone to spy. Paul walks away from the building as the man follows him. They eventually talk. Paul learns that he is Doc Golightly, Holly’s husband from Texas. Doc explains that he has 4 kids and then married Holly when she was 14. Her name is Lula Mae Barnes and not Holly. He wants her to come back and gets Paul’s help. He also has a message that Fred is coming back in February. Doc sees her and they talk as Paul leaves. Holly later tells Paul that she wants him to join her as she sends Doc off even though Doc believes that she’s joining him. Their marriage ended awhile back and Doc hasn’t accepted it. At the station, she discusses with Doc that she’s changed and can’t come with him. They talk over how she has to take care of Fred when he comes back even though she doesn’t have the money for it. Holly and Doc say goodbye. Paul takes her out to drinks as she doesn’t want to go home until she’s drunk. He takes her home afterwards and she talks about Rusty. She has plans to marry him. When she wants more alcohol and is out herself, she wants some of Paul’s. He doesn’t want to give her any more alcohol and she mentions that she’ll pay for it. She then kicks him out after talking about how he might disapprove of what she’s doing. He comes over the next day and shows her the newspaper article of Rusty getting married to someone else. Holly knows already and mentions that Rusty is actually broke and in a lot of debt. He had to marry rich. They then decide to go out and do things that they both have never done. This starts with him

drinking champagne before breakfast. He had gotten a check for a story of his. They then go to Tiffany’s. She wants to show him her favorite place. He offers to buy her something with his check and she refuses. She does accept when he says he’ll buy something for $10. They talk to the worker and work out a deal to engrave a toy ring with their initials. The ring was from Doc’s Cracker Jack prizes that Paul had kept. Paul then takes her to the public library, which she has never been in. They look for his book and she gets him to sign it. They then go to 5 and 10 shop to steal something since she used to when she was younger. They manage to steal some masks. They then head home. He wakes up and goes to Holly’s, but she’s not there. He rushes back to his place when he sees that Emily had arrived. He breaks up with her even though she doesn’t like it, but had expected it. She offers him a check of $1,000 before she goes, but he doesn’t want it. He goes to pick up the toy ring after and calls Holly. There is no answer. He thinks he sees her, but finds it to be a stranger. He goes to the public library and sees her reading. She’s doesn’t respond to him, but reveals that she’s reading about South America Land and Wealth. He wants to take her away, but she’s too absorbed in her reading. She mentions that she’s going to marry José da Silva Pereira since he’s rich and likes her. Paul mentions that he’s not just anybody else and that he loves her. After talking, he believes she thinks he’s just another guy. He leaves after giving her money. Holly comes home with José. Paul comes in when José requests his help since Holly is breaking all the things in her home and is upset. José says he can’t have any scandal involved with his name and can’t have his girl acting like that. They learn that she received a telegram saying that Fred had died in a crash. Paul leaves as José tends to her. Later, Holly invites Paul over and works on her knitting. She made a dinner for him since she’s leaving for Rio tomorrow. She had already said goodbyes to everyone else. Her dinner goes wrong and they decide to go out. They talk about love later and she says her ideal isn’t José, but she likes him. When they get back home, the cops arrest them as Mr. Yunioshi brings them in. She’s involved with Sally Tomato and his narcotics. Holly talks to the reporters about not being involved. Paul talks to OJ on the phone and they get her out on bail. Paul picks up Holly after OJ told him to keep her safe. She decides she wants to head for the plane to Rio nonetheless. Paul says she can’t since she’s part of this trial and she says she’s only needed as a witness and that she did nothing wrong that can be proven. Paul brought the cat too. They then learn from a letter that José can’t be with her since it’ll tarnish his name. Holly still wants to go to Rio and Paul says that he loves her. She talks of people not belonging to people and he talks of how she’s caging herself in by not giving herself into love. She gets upset and throws the cat out into the rain since they don’t even belong together. Paul leaves and gives her the ring. She ponders for a bit and chases after the cat. She finds it and she and Paul kiss.]

[dalekofchaos]

Owen Hart DSOTR thoughts

After watching the Owen Hart episode of Dark Side of the Ring. I can honestly say....fuck Vince McMahon. fuck Kevin Dunn. Fuck Vince Russo. Fuck the rigging team that didn’t do their fucking job and fuck Vince’s phony excuse for a HOF. If they just gave him the title after Bret left and treated him like the main eventer he should have been and treated him like the greatest technical wrestlers instead of making him a comedy act. Just look at his Black Hart promo. Could’ve gotten his revenge against Shawn and won the title and we could’ve gotten an amazing match between Owen and Austin at Wrestlemania that ends in a handshake.  But no, he had to waste this great angle, and turn Owen into a midcard tag team guy. Wish they had ran with this character for Owen. This was gold, and I hate to say it, but the Blue Blazer bullshit would have never transpired and he'd still be with us. One of the dumbest things WWF/E has ever done is not making Owen the top guy after Bret left for WCW. He had the in ring ability, the mic skills and the respect of the fans and the boys in the back. Such a shame. More on the wasted potential here.

The sad thing is Owen did not even want to be a life long wrestler like his family. In the episode, there is home video footage of Owen saying hopefully all the "aches and pains of wrestling" would be worth it someday, and admits he only wanted enough money to make his family comfortable so he could spend more time with them. Then, he flashes a cute smile. He cared more about his family than wrestling and his dream was crushed.

He shouldn’t have been up there to begin with. Owen deserved to live and raise his kids with Martha. Martha Hart has been right for 21 years, she was right to stop WWE at every turn from using Owen. Why the hell have fans been trying to villainize her again? Did we forget about Eddiesploitation? Did we not forget that they have Drew Carrey in that joke excuse of a HOF? Do you honestly want the man who was murdered by that company to be honored by that same company. When you hear Martha and Oje talk about him, they are in the right and nothing his fans will say will change that. The Owen Hart Foundation has done more to keep Owen’s legacy alive than the WWE would have ever done.

Faulty rigging, being cheap and Vince only caring about money killed Owen Hart. In the early 2000′s Bret did an interview and perfectly said Vince would do anything for a dollar and would not continue the show if he dropped Shane from the ceiling. 

And these fucking assholes would not stop the show because WWE possibly didn’t want to spend more money/cut time for the show.... In Matha Hart’s own words. “When Owen died, they scooped him out like a piece of garbage and they paraded wrestlers out to wrestle in a ring that had Owen’s blood, where the boards were broken from Owen’s fall and where the guys could feel the dip in the ring from where he fell. Just that disrespect and lack of respect for a human life that had just been lost. The fact that they didn’t stop the show is just appalling. Vince McMahon was a poor leader, and he failed because that talent was looking for leadership and he failed them.”

I laugh every time anyone says Owen should be in the WWE HOF to be honored. If you look at the WWE HOF, it is mostly filled with celebrities who did nothing in wrestling, some legends who did deserve it and joke additions. Do you really want Owen to be in the same HOF that has murderer Jimmy Snuka and Donald Trump? Once again, Martha is right. “There’s always been this talk that, ‘Oh, we want to put Owen in the Hall of Fame.’ Their Hall of Fame? They don’t even have a Hallway of Fame. It doesn’t exist. There’s nothing. It’s a fake entity. There’s nothing real or tangible. It’s just an event they have to make money. They put it on TV and have a celebration, and it’s just so ridiculous. I would never even entertain it. It’s garbage.”

Owen will never be in the WWE HOF and his family are right to prevent any inductions. They'd rather his legacy lived on though The Owen Hart Foundation. Oje reaffirmed his mother's wishes by saying he couldn't watch on as WWE put his dad's name "on some silver" and pretended to care. Athena, who has always blamed wrestling for taking her father away, backed that up by saying it wouldn't be tasteful. 

And in recent news, I’ve lost major respect for Bret Hart. In an article, Martha talks about her fracture in her relationship with Bret and I am very disappointed in the man. “Unfortunately, I have no relationship with Bret, Bret was supportive throughout the lawsuit, but there were a few things that were a problem with Bret. First of all, when we were going through the lawsuit, he really was hoping that I would be able to help him get his wrestling footage. Because at the time, he had no relationship with WWE and he was hoping somehow — if we ever had a settlement — that we could work it in. When that didn’t happen, he was very upset that he didn’t get his footage. It prompted him to befriend Vince [McMahon, the chairman of WWE] again so he could have access to his footage. That was the first fracture in our relationship.” Martha says Bret became “really nasty” after she wouldn’t allow his little brother Owen to be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame. That’s when she says Bret “seemed to turn.” Kind of sounds like Owen, in their feud in the early 90′s is right, Bret is selfish and I honestly lost respect for the man. The company killed his brother and all he cared about was his footage and having his brother be inducted by the same people, who’s negligence killed him.

Wrestling fans have needlessly villainized Martha Hart for twenty years because she and her children don't want Owen being used as a publicity stunt by the company whose negligence killed him. He was their family, not yours. You have no say in the matter.

RIP Owen, you deserved so much better