#look at me going out on a Friday for a change

[waitforyrlove]

are you sure is it casual with slytherin ! matt ? read this to understand this drabble better.

inspired by the song casual by chappel roan.

the days following that night were an emotional blur. It was as though the encounter with Matt had lit a fire in your chest, one that you couldn’t seem to extinguish no matter how hard you tried.

every glance, every word he spoke to you felt like it carried an undertone of something unspoken, something simmering just beneath the surface.

but Matt? Matt was as maddeningly infuriating as ever, acting as though nothing had happened. Like almost kissing you hadn’t meant anything.

and yet, that smirk of his haunted you. It lingered in your mind late at night, as you tossed and turned, replaying the way he’d looked at you, the way he’d stopped just short of something that would have changed everything.

you hated him for it.

but more than that, you hated the way you wanted more.

it was Friday evening, and the castle was alive with its usual end-of-week energy. Laughter and chatter filled the corridors as students flitted between the Great Hall and their common rooms, some heading out for the weekend’s mischief, others settling into their usual routines. You, however, couldn’t shake the restlessness crawling beneath your skin.

maybe that was why you found yourself wandering the castle aimlessly after dinner, your thoughts tangled and impossible to organize.

that’s when you saw him.

Matt stood at the edge of the Astronomy Tower, leaning against the railing with his usual air of practiced ease. The moonlight bathed him in silver, softening the sharp lines of his face and illuminating the streaks of dark green in his robes. He didn’t see you at first, his gaze fixed on the horizon, but the sight of him stopped you in your tracks.

you told yourself to turn around, to walk away before he noticed you, but your body betrayed you. Your heart betraye the weekend’s mischief, others settling into their usual routines. You, however, couldn’t shake the restlessness crawling beneath your skin.

before you could decide what to do, he turned, catching sight of you in the doorway. His expression shifted instantly, his usual smirk curling onto his lips like a reflex.

“Couldn’t stay away, could you?” he drawled, his voice low and teasing.

you rolled your eyes, summoning every ounce of defiance you had left. “Hardly. The castle’s big enough for both of us. Don’t flatter yourself.”

he chuckled, the sound warm and irritatingly inviting. “Sure it is. And yet here you are.”

you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to ignore the way his eyes seemed to drink you in like you were something fascinating. “I didn’t realize you had a claim on the Astronomy Tower.”

“I don’t.” He stepped closer, his movements slow and deliberate, like he was testing how far he could push you before you ran. “But I can’t say I mind the company.”

you held your ground, refusing to back away as he approached. Your pulse quickened, a familiar, maddening heat creeping up your spine. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” he asked, stopping just short of your personal space. His voice softened, the teasing edge giving way to something almost sincere. “Go on, sweetheart. Tell me what’s so awful about me.”

you glared up at him, your frustration bubbling over. “You’re insufferable. You’re arrogant, manipulative, and you think everything’s a game.”

he raised an eyebrow, his smirk faltering for a fraction of a second. “And you keep playing.”

the words hit you like a punch to the chest. You wanted to deny it, to argue, but the truth hung in the air, suffocating you.

he was right. You did keep playing, despite everything. Despite the way his teasing twisted your insides or the way his presence seemed to fill every empty space inside you.

you took a step back, trying to find your voice, but it came out quieter than you’d intended. “What do you want from me, Matt?” The words were out before you could stop them, laced with a mix of confusion, frustration, and something else—something you didn’t want to acknowledge.

his expression softened just a little, the teasing fading. “What if I told you I didn’t want anything?” He leaned in, his gaze steady on yours. “What if I just wanted to see if you’d let me get close enough to figure you out?”

your heart thudded painfully in your chest. It felt like the whole world had gone silent, like there was only the two of you in this moment, standing on the precipice of something you couldn’t name. Your breath hitched as his eyes flicked down to your lips, and for a second, everything felt still.

then, before you could make sense of the situation or stop yourself, he was close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your face. Your pulse raced, the space between you charged with tension, and it seemed like he was going to close the distance. The temptation to close your eyes, to lean into him, was almost overwhelming. You could feel the pull between you, magnetic, undeniable.

but you stopped yourself.

you took a shaky breath and stepped back, shaking your head, trying to clear the haze that had clouded your mind. “I can’t do this,” you whispered, almost as if you were trying to convince yourself. “I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

his gaze darkened for just a moment, before that damnable smirk returned. “That’s the problem, isn’t it?” he murmured, eyes gleaming. “You’re so busy trying to keep your distance, trying to keep control, that you’re missing everything right in front of you.”

his words hung in the air like a challenge. You wanted to argue, to tell him that he didn’t know you at all, that this—whatever this was—wasn’t going to happen. But there was a part of you that didn’t want to fight it anymore. You didn’t want to be the person who kept pushing him away, who refused to acknowledge what was brewing between you.

instead, you turned and started to walk away, your hands trembling at your sides. The soft sound of his footsteps echoed behind you, a reminder that he was always too close, always a little too present.

“Don’t walk away from me,” Matt called after you, his voice low and commanding.

you stopped, but didn’t turn around, your back to him. “What do you want?”

he didn’t answer right away, and for a second, the night seemed to hold its breath. Then, his voice, quiet but steady, reached you. “I want you to stop running.”

you closed your eyes briefly, fighting the wave of emotions crashing over you. “I’m not running.”

“Sure you’re not.” as his laugh was almost a growl.

when you finally turned around, you saw that he hadn’t moved—still leaning against the stone wall, watching you with a quiet intensity. You could feel the tension between you like a live wire, sparking, threatening to catch fire.

he took a step toward you, the space between you narrowing once again. The moment stretched on, both of you standing there, unsure of what would happen next, but knowing it would change everything.

“One day,” he said, his voice soft, almost a promise, “you’ll stop pretending like this doesn’t matter.”

you didn’t respond, couldn’t find the words. Instead, you turned and walked away, faster now, desperate to put distance between you and the pull he had over you.

but as you walked back through the darkened corridors of the castle, you couldn’t shake the feeling that this was far from over.

and in the pit of your stomach, you feared it was just the beginning.

the days that followed were a strange blur. You kept your distance from Matt—or at least you tried to. Every glance across the Great Hall, every passing moment in the corridors, seemed charged with an unspoken tension. He didn’t try to corner you, didn’t follow up on his words that night. But his gaze lingered. Always.

it was maddening.

you couldn’t focus on anything—your classes, your friends, even simple conversations. His words played on a loop in your mind. “One day, you’ll stop pretending like this doesn’t matter.”

and the worst part? You were beginning to believe him.

one evening, you were sitting in the common room, pretending to study while the fire crackled beside you. The rest of your housemates had dwindled off to bed, leaving you in relative silence. But the book in front of you remained unread. Your thoughts were elsewhere—back in that corridor, back to the way Matt had looked at you, like he knew you better than you knew yourself.

with a frustrated sigh, you closed the book and leaned back against the armchair, but a knock at the window jolted you from your thoughts.

your brow furrowed as you glanced over. The Gryffindor tower wasn’t exactly easy to reach—so when you saw an owl perched on the stone sill, you knew something was up. Rising to your feet, you opened the latch, and the bird hopped inside, holding out its leg with a note attached.

you hesitated, because owls didn’t usually bring you notes. Not at this hour.

with trembling fingers, you untied the parchment and unrolled it. The handwriting was unmistakable.

“Meet me. Astronomy Tower. Midnight. Don’t make me come find you.”

you stared at the note, torn between ignoring it and the pull of curiosity that was impossible to resist. Midnight was only a few minutes away, and you knew that if you didn’t show, he’d make good on his promise. He always did.

with a resigned sigh, you grabbed your cloak and slipped out of the common room, the castle quiet around you as you navigated the dark halls. Your steps were light, cautious, but your heart was anything but calm. You weren’t sure what you were walking into—what Matt wanted from you this time.

the Astronomy Tower loomed ahead, its spiral staircase winding upward. You climbed, your breaths shallow and quick, until you reached the top.

there he was.

Matt stood at the edge of the tower, leaning against the stone railing. The moonlight painted him in silver, his dark robes catching the faint breeze. He turned at the sound of your footsteps, and that familiar smirk spread across his face.

“You came,” he said, his voice low and amused, like he hadn’t doubted it for a second.

you crossed your arms, trying to keep your composure. “Why am I here?”

he didn’t answer right away. Instead, he pushed off the railing and closed the distance between you, his steps unhurried, deliberate. His gaze held yours, sharp and searching, and you felt that same pull you’d been trying to ignore.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said simply, his tone casual but with an edge of something darker.

“Maybe I’ve been busy.”

“Couldn’t get me off your mind, could you?” His smirk stayed in place, but his tone was quieter, almost teasing, as his eyes searched yours for something unspoken.

your cheeks burned, and you hated how easily he saw through you. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you muttered, turning away from him to look out at the castle grounds below.

but Matt wasn’t having it. He stepped closer, his voice dropping. “I don’t think I have to. You do that enough for both of us.”

you turned to snap at him, but the words caught in your throat when you saw how close he was. His usual teasing smirk was gone, replaced by something more serious, more intense. His gaze flicked to your lips for just a second, and the world seemed to hold its breath.

“Matt…” you began, your voice faltering.

“Stop pretending, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice soft but insistent. “You want this just as much as I do.”

your pulse thundered in your ears. You should push him away. You should say something—anything—to break the moment. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Because deep down, you knew he was right.

and when he leaned in, you didn’t stop him.

his lips brushed yours, tentative at first, as if he was waiting for you to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead, you leaned into him, your hands clutching the fabric of his robes as the kiss deepened. It was electric, overwhelming, and for a moment, everything else melted away. The games, the tension, the endless push and pull—it all disappeared, leaving only this.

when you finally broke apart, both of you breathing heavily, his forehead rested against yours.

“See?” he whispered, his voice rough. “Not so hard to admit, is it?”

you stared at him, your emotions a chaotic mess. Part of you wanted to argue, to push him away and retreat to the safety of denial. But another part—the part that had been fighting this for weeks—knew there was no going back now.

your breath mingled with his as you stayed close, the silence between you heavy, electric. Matt’s hand lingered on your waist, his touch firm yet teasing, like he was testing the limits of how far you’d let him go.

your heart thundered in your chest, and for a brief moment, you thought—hoped—that maybe this was real. That maybe the games were over.

but then he pulled back slightly, just enough to look at you, and the smirk returned.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he said, his tone light, almost mocking.

the vulnerability you’d been feeling, the whirlwind of emotions that had overtaken you, suddenly felt exposed, raw. You blinked, taken aback by his casual dismissal, like what had just happened didn’t carry the same weight for him as it had for you.

“Is that all this was to you?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You hated how uncertain you sounded, but you needed to know.

Matt’s eyes flickered, something unreadable passing through them, but it was gone just as quickly. He stepped back, putting space between you, and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Come on, don’t get all serious on me now,” he said, tilting his head slightly. “It’s just a kiss.”

your chest tightened. Just a kiss. The words hit you harder than they should have, like a slap to the face. After everything—the tension, the pull between you, the way he’d looked at you moments ago—it felt like a betrayal.

“That’s it?” you demanded, your voice sharper now. “All of this—everything you’ve done—and it’s just a game to you?”

he raised an eyebrow, clearly unbothered by your growing anger. “I never said it was more than that.”

you stared at him, trying to reconcile the person standing in front of you with the one who’d kissed you like he meant it. “You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, stepping away.

Matt let out a low chuckle, but there was no warmth in it. “Don’t act so surprised, sweetheart. You knew what you were getting into.”

“No,” you snapped, turning back to face him. “I didn’t. I thought—” You stopped yourself, shaking your head. What had you thought? That you’d somehow reached the part of him that wasn’t cold and calculating? That he actually cared?

Matt’s smirk widened, but there was something sharp behind it, something that cut. “You thought what? That this meant something?” He took a step closer, his voice softening but still carrying that edge. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is more than what it is.”

“Which is what, exactly?” you shot back, your anger flaring now.

“Fun,” he said simply, shrugging as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re fun. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to change who I am for you. Don’t expect me to.”

the weight of his words settled over you like a lead blanket. Your hands clenched into fists at your sides, every part of you screaming to walk away, to leave him standing there with his smug grin and his twisted sense of satisfaction. But it still hurt. It hurt more than it should have.

“You’re a coward,” you said, your voice trembling with barely-contained emotion. “You hide behind this act like you don’t care about anything or anyone, but you’re just scared. Scared of actually feeling something.”

his smirk faltered for a split second, but he quickly recovered, his expression hardening. “And you’re naive if you think that little speech is going to change anything.”

the words stung, but you refused to let him see it. You squared your shoulders, lifting your chin. “You can keep playing your games, Matt. But don’t think for a second I’m going to let you drag me down with you.”

you turned on your heel, the cool night air biting at your skin as you made your way toward the staircase. You didn’t look back, even though every part of you ached to.

“Suit yourself,” his voice called out, low and taunting, though there was an edge to it now that you couldn’t quite place. “But don’t pretend you won’t come running back. They always do.”

you clenched your fists tighter, forcing yourself to keep walking, even as his words echoed in your mind. You didn’t stop, didn’t turn around, even when the sting of tears blurred your vision.

because you knew he was wrong. He had to be.

© waitforyrlove. all rights deserved. do not copy my works. or modify my work.

taglist: @secretlocket @pearlzier @et6rnalsun @mattscoquette @carvedtits @sirenedeslily @mattslolita @flouvela @bella-loveschris @lovingregulusblack @sarosfilms @annsx03 @eliana-4200 @wakeupitschrizz @emely9274 @sturniolossss @sturnslutz @sturnlsstuff @sweetcowboycollection @sturnioloangell @xoxoshanelle

˙ . ꒷ 🪽 notes from author ˙— hai !! i missed this fuckass bitch

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | December 30th 2024-January 5th 2025

Welcome to 2025 everybody!! The year of #BuddieCanon!!!

Started working on my favourite fics of 2024 rec, I'm hoping to post it in the next week! And when I'm looking back, I always end up distracted on the way, which is the reason for the ungodly amount of re-read fics in this rec 😅

Little bit unconventional but I'm gonna rec some meta! The Buddie Vers-Switch Theory: a Meta-Analysis is really interesting!

Complete

just like coming home by tinygiantsam/ @watchyourbuck (S7, First Kiss | 1,5K | Teen): Buck and Eddie go on their first date. Eddie wears the 'good cologne.' 

when the clock strikes midnight by tinygiantsam/ @watchyourbuck (Post-S8 Spec, Christmas | 4K | Teen): Future Buck looked at his watch, then at the clock on the wall, then back to him. “In about five minutes, Eddie’s gonna try to kiss you.” Buck’s heart skipped a beat, his throat drying from back to front. He wetted his lips in instinct. “What?” “And I’m gonna need you to kiss him back.” OR: on christmas night, buck is visited by what seems like the ghost of christmas future. he has a very particular request (that he cannot refuse). 

every corner of this house is haunted by justhockey (NYE, Chris comes back from Texas, Getting Together | 4K | General): And now that love is everywhere, is in everything. It’s worn so deeply into the grooves of his skin that it’s changed the very structure of his fingerprint - is burrowed so deep inside of him that it has rewritten his DNA. His love for Eddie and for Christopher is carved into his bones - etched onto his heart like an epitaph: love lived here. Love left here.

Next in line by tinygiantsam/ @watchyourbuck (Getting Together, Post-S6 | 6K | Explicit): “Hold on,” he muttered, putting his finger up and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “So you’ve been dating this man for six months, b-” Buck cut him off. “Yes.” “But,” Eddie continued, “he’s not your boyfriend?” “N-No.” Eddie’s frown deepened. He tried to keep it in; he really did. “Okay, well, does he want you or not? Because he’s holding up the fucking line!”

Let me give you my life by paleredheadinascifi (Post-S8S6: Confessions, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I am. Fuck. I am freaking out,” he agrees, lifting his head to look at Buck helplessly. “You’re in my lap.” “I’m so extremely aware of that. You’re not wearing any pants,” Buck adds. A smile tugs at the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “I am also very aware of that.” Or, another take on what happened after the couch scene. Eddie *wants*. They're both brave about it.

a lighthouse in the fog by greenbergsays/ @greenbergsays (BT Break-Up, First Kiss | 7K | Teen): The one where Buck wakes up after surgery and realizes that Tommy doesn't meet his emotional needs. The break-up doesn't go quite like he expected.

It Still Gets Cold in Texas by jukoist/ @beforejuko (Post-S8A, Eddie moves to El Paso, Outsider POV, Getting Together | 9K | Mature): Cara Alvarez of the El Paso Fire Department knows exactly two things about her new coworker Eddie Diaz. One: Diaz has a husband named 'Buck', who he left back in LA. Two: Diaz is Extremely Annoying about how much he misses his husband, the aforementioned 'Buck'. Or; Eddie moves to El Paso, and his new coworkers come to certain assumptions. Eddie... does not correct these assumptions.

🔥 If Only In My Dreams by songbvrd/ @songbvrd (Post-S8A, Eddie goes to El Paso, Christmas, Getting Together | 9K | General): Evan Buckley had never been good at knowing when to let go of things. So when Eddie Diaz told him on a chilly Friday afternoon that he had put his house on the market and started packing, Buck told himself that this time, he wasn't going to cling to someone trying to leave him behind. This time, Buck would understand what rejection looked like, and he would let someone he loved walk away with dignity. OR Eddie moves to El Paso a month before Christmas. Buck goes a little bit insane about it.

see both sides by snorlaxer (Post-S7, Mind-reading | 9K | Teen): When Buck overlooks a small injury to the head during one of his shifts, it turns out to be a very big problem once he starts hearing the internal voices of everyone he walks by, including his best friend, who seems to be undergoing a silent life-crisis. As Buck listens more and more to the thoughts that surround him, he becomes increasingly more confused with his own. OR Buck can hear other people's thoughts, and Eddie's are everything and nothing like he expected.

Wherever you find love (make it last all year) by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Canon Divergent, Christmas | 12K | Mature): Buck first met Eddie on Christmas. This is the story of seven Christmases they spend together.

🔥 i can't see you (the light is in my face) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S8A, Eddie goes to Texas, Eddie Sexuality Crisis | 15K | Explicit): "Have you even tried making friends?" "God, Abuela, what am I in kindergarten again?" "No, you were much more outgoing in kindergarten. Made friends with the whole class. Teachers too. Now, your only friend is an old lady. If you're really moving here, Eddie, you need to make some friends. You can't just rely on me and Christopher to keep you company." "I know. I know. I think I'm just scared to put roots down. It doesn't feel real yet, you know? Every time I wake up, I keep waiting to see my ceiling from home, walk past Christopher's room on the way to the kitchen, find Buck in the kitchen making pancakes. I don't think I want it to feel real. Plus," he adds with a brittle grin, "the last time I made a new friend, Buck almost broken my ankle." And then slept with said friend, he thinks. "I'm not convinced he couldn't give me a bloody nose from eight-hundred miles away just by thinking real hard." (OR: eddie makes a new friend, she makes some assumptions, eddie spirals about it in his patented life-ruining way)

🔥 all the ashes I've earned by greenbergsays/ @greenbergsays (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Near Death Experiences | 22K | Teen): A horn blares. Buck looks in time to see the truck barreling right for him. Something a lot like relief washes over him. Good, he thinks. At least now he doesn’t have to watch Eddie walk away. -- OR: Spiraling about Eddie's announcement, Buck gets into a car accident and falls into another coma. This is Eddie in the aftermath.

🔥 wake up, boy, you're far from home by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S8A, Christmas, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 23K | Explicit): Eddie is miserable in El Paso, having seemingly made things worse. Buck is miserable in Los Angeles, without him. When Buck agrees to go home to Hershey for the holidays, everything implodes.

WIP

🔥 Finding Mr Christmas by JJK/@trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Canon Divergent, Reality TV, Christmas | 9/11 | 52K | Teen): "Welcome to Finding Mr Christmas! You’re all here chasing the same dream, to star in a Hallmark Christmas movie, and over the next few weeks we’re going to be putting you through your paces to see which of you has the most star quality and that ‘it’ factor that makes you shine above the rest." 🎄🎄🎄 An AU where Buck and Eddie meet as contestants on Hallmark's Finding Mr Christmas competition (and fall for each other).

🔥 Cadence by Nejinee/ @nejineeee (Future fic, Getting Together | 1/2 | 6K | Explicit): When the credits finally finished rolling and Buck was left in the shrouded silence of Eddie’s house, he sighed. He turned his head slightly, feeling Eddie’s unbelievably soft hair brush against his cheek. Eddie’s cologne was all but gone after a day like today. Eventually, he’d need to shower and get ready for bed. Buck wanted to wait a moment; he wanted to sit in this silence a little longer.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 141/? | 454K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 10/? | 63K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

Podfic

[podfic] and we can stay all day by be_brave13/ @djemsowhat // fic by trippedandfell/ @trippedandfell (Zoologist Buck AU | 20-30min | Teen): “So let me get this straight,” Hen says, once she’s stopped laughing at him. “Your nerd crush-” “-Evan Buckley,” Eddie miserably interjects. “Your nerd crush,” Hen repeats, waggling her eyebrows. At the kitchen table beside her, Chimney is grinning like Christmas just came early. “Read your drunk tweet and then sent you animal facts via DM?” or: Buck's a zoologist. Eddie's pretty sure he's in love. (Part 1 of zoologist buck)

[Podfic] What's love got to do with it? by Pretzel26 // fic by ColorMeParanoid/ @color-me-paranoid (Platonic Boyfriends to Lovers | 1/30 | 10-20min | Mature): "Hear me out," Buck said. "Clearly, both of us are sick of dating other people. And we're a good fit, in pretty much every way that matters. So what if we're not in love? We don't need to be in love to be happy together." Eddie frowned. "So basically, we'd be boyfriends, without benefits?" "Yes!" Buck snapped his fingers. "Like platonic boyfriends! We'd get all the benefits of a relationship and none of the heartbreak." And maybe Eddie had finally lost his mind, or maybe it was from all the alcohol clouding his judgment, but the idea of it didn't sound half as crazy as it should have. *** After Buck’s and Eddie’s dates both end with disasters – proving once again that maybe dating just wasn’t meant for them – they decide to simply settle for each other. If there was one person in the world they'd ever trust with their hearts, it was each other. And who was a better person to date other than your very own best friend?

Re-read

🔥what if i can't have us by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (Post-S7E5, Getting Together, Sexuality Crisis | 47K Explicit): In which Eddie is dating Marisol; Buck's dating Tommy, and Eddie has feelings about that, which he simply does. not. understand.

🔥 The Heart Opening Sequence by Leslie_Knope (Post-S3, Getting Together | 34K | Mature): Eddie’s handsome, that’s obvious, Buck clocked that the second he met him. Part of him still can’t really believe that the guy he was so threatened by at first ended up as his closest friend, which is why these weird twinges are so unsettling. Buck isn’t sure if they’re real, for one, these odd flashes of what it would be like to lean over and kiss Eddie while they’re watching a movie or brush a hand over his back while they’re in the kitchen. And for two, it’s so far out of the realm of possibility that it’s barely worth thinking about.

🔥 drink the river dry by Rianne/ @rianneeyre (Post Shooting, Getting Together | 32K | Explicit): It wasn’t until they were discussing his discharge paperwork and painkiller schedules that it really sunk in for Eddie that Buck would be staying with him and Christopher. That he would be around 24/7 except for his shifts at work. That he’ll sleep on the couch, where he’s been sleeping for days now to look after Christopher. The worst part is that it’s necessary—Eddie isn’t going to be able to do a damn thing for himself for the next couple of weeks. He’s lucky if he can put a shirt on by himself a month from now. Yeah, that’s going to be a problem. Or: Eddie gets shot, breaks up with his girlfriend, and pines like there’s no tomorrow.

🔥Plus or Minus by ElvenSorceress/ @elvensorceress (S5 | 10K | General): “Why are you cleaning out the kitchen? Why is my stuff in boxes?” Eddie slows, then stops. “Figured you’d want it back.” It’s quieter. Pained. When he says it. “I haven’t decided anything. So unless you’re kicking me out—” “Buck. Come on.” He’s not angry or snapping. It’s still quiet, and somehow that hurts even more. He’s resigned and defeated, and Buck is a scooped out, gutted, hollow shell. “I know how this ends the same way you do. You want to be loved, you want to be married. You’re going to leave. Might as well…” His voice cracks before he can finish and get it under control. “Shouldn’t drag it out.” ~ Taylor is offered a job across the country and asks Buck to go with her. Buck has to figure out if he wants to start over or if he has a reason to stay right where he is.

🔥 The Pain Will Leave You Once It's Done Teaching You by fruitsdoesnotknow (Canon Divergent, Daniel Lives-kinda | 40K | Mature): “Hi, I’m Buck, a firefighter with the 136,” for now, the thought crashes through Buck, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. “Uh, you’re both welcome to take a tour with us, if you’d like.” Buck awkwardly scratches at his neck, running a hand through his hair, unsure what else to do, and it spurs the man in front of him to take a large step forward up to Buck’s bed. “Eddie,” he says, thrusting a hand to him, and Buck reaches over without a second thought. His whole palm feels electric, it smarts and carries the touch of Eddie, Eddie, that Buck feels it completely. He has no idea what’s happening to him. “Edmundo Diaz, but just Eddie though, uh, no one calls me Edmundo. Right. I’m a new nurse here, at Cedars-Senai. Oh –” *** When Daniel Buckley lives a little longer, Evan Buckley dies a little more. And this is how Eddie Diaz saves him, a little later on.

i find you in everything (but its here you find yourself) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S6, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Buck takes another sig of beer, "she left." "Sorry, man, I know you liked her. Guess where most people are scared of death, a death doula is scared of life." "Wow, that's actually pretty poignant," Buck says. "Didn't know you had it in you." Eddie just rolls his eyes. "Its weird, though, her being scared off by a donor baby." Eddie frowns over at him. "Chris didn't freak her out?"

and if someone asked me if I love you (I'd lie) by forgetmyname/ @kingmieczyslaw (Crack | 10K | Explicit): Eddie has a concussion. Suddenly he can't lie. It would be fine if he wasn't trying his best to not confess his undying love for Buck.

🔥 the kiss that lingers by greenbergsays/ @greenbergsays (Getting Together | 10K | Explicit): 5 times Eddie kisses Buck's birthmark & 1 time he doesn't.

🔥I'm Hearing Secret Harmonies by Chash/ @ponyregrets (Canon Divergent, Witch Eddie, Coffeshop AU | 18K | Teen): When the firefighter walks into Eddie's coffeeshop, Eddie immediately knows two things about him: he's not human, and he's the love of Eddie's life. Oh, he knows a bunch of other things too, obviously. He's about thirty, a few months younger than Eddie himself. He has a scar on his throat, like he got stabbed there, and one of his legs has some metal rods in it that must have come from a bad injury. The guy doesn't know he's not human, which is a tricky thing to figure out, but Eddie's almost positive. Most of the non-humans he knows have always known they aren't people, but there are exceptions, and they tend to carry themselves differently. The firefighter moves like he knows he doesn't belong, but not like he knows why. Like he's afraid of taking up space, afraid of being noticed. As if Eddie is even capable of not noticing him.

you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad by bellabrady (Post-S6, Getting Together | 5K | Not Rated): Or: Eddie is annoyed with Buck for being so very kissable but his drunk self isn't the best at phrasing things.

🔥 This May Be Practice, But I'm an Experienced Idiot by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (Fake Dating, kinda, Getting Together | 10K | Teen): Buck overhears a conversation between Eddie, Hen, and Chim and misunderstands it all. Or, the one where Buck thinks Eddie’s only asked him on a date for practice.

[hiraizyo]

running in circles, now look what you’ve done.

synopsis — tension grows between you and daniela as you’re faced with newfound feelings.

friends with benefits, suggestive, fluff, angst, swearing, jealous!reader, lesserafim 6th member!reader

now playing: friends, chase atlantic.

a/n: continuation of this. reader & dani need to get their shit together, reader is also kinda an asshole :/ she’s really trying tho !!! this is like lowk sad-ish WHOOPS. the previous imagine focused mainly on dani, so this one will showcase reader’s feelings :)

++ in honor of reaching 111 followers i wrote this longer than i planned for <3

the week flies by, and before you know it, you’re in LA for a couple days, busying yourself with scheduled photoshoots. you’re jet lagged by the time you’ve landed, wanting to only crawl into bed and sleep for hours. the friday comes and goes, and you’re exhausted by the end of it from the rigorous routine of changing into different outfits and fittings, having your makeup retouched constantly.

currently, you were sitting at the dinner table of your apartment here in LA, impulsively buying it after hearing the complaints of yunjin about staying in hotels every time lesserafim came to the states. your hair was damp from the shower you’d had half an hour ago, and you were nursing a warm cup of tea.

the sound of the face time ringing echoed around the room, leaning back against the chair as you waited for daniela to pick up.

the chiming notes alerted you that your face time was answered, and you smiled immediately seeing the curly haired girl come into frame.

“hey.” you said quietly, but your voice was filled with clear enthusiasm.

daniela shuffled around, her room door closing in the background. “shit, sorry. lara wouldn’t leave me alone.” she leaned back against the headboard, balancing her phone on her knees. “what’s up?”

at the mention of her member, you felt your chest tighten. it wasn’t a secret that all katseye girls were close, and while you were mostly fine with it, something about daniela and lara’s friendship irked you.

you shrugged the feeling off, focusing on the latina in front of you through the screen. “nothing, really. the shoots went well, and i got here about an hour ago.”

daniela nodded, listening intently. “were the outfits any good?”

you grinned, humming loudly. “yep, i think you’ll like them a lot when they’re posted. but fair warning, i looked really hot, so try not to fall in love with me or anything.”

the blonde rolled her eyes in a light hearted manner, “oh please. never in a million years.”

you chuckled, loving the teasing game between you and her. it was times like this when you really enjoyed your friendship, being able to match one another’s energy despite your agreement.

“ouch,” you dramatically placed a hand over your heart, clutching at your chest. “you wound me, dani.”

daniela giggled noisily, smiling so wide that her dimples showed. “i’m excited to see you tomorrow.”

you swallowed down some of your tea, the taste nice and sweet. adjusting yourself in the dining room chair, you propped up your leg to lean your head against it. “me too.”

without realizing it, daniela’s hand reached to play with your necklace around her neck. the action caused you to follow her movements, stomach fluttering.

“so, are you going to tell me about this surprise or what?” she attempted to get it out of you, like she’d been doing for the past week.

“ah uh,” you tutted and cheekily wagged a finger at her. “that’s not how surprises work.”

“pleaseee.” she begged, whining as she threw her head back. daniela looked at you a moment later, trying her best to coax you with her eyes.

“you know your charms don’t work on me like that.” you clicked your tongue, the tug of you slips never leaving.

daniela squinted at you, her voice dropping an octave. “they worked enough to get you into bed with me.”

your reaction was comical, looking gobsmacked at her, mouth hanging open. a second later, a sheepish laughed escaped you as you ducked your head down, trying to hide your blush.

“now we’re shy all of a sudden?” she added on, her teasing grin still in place.

“shut up!” you hollered at her. your body felt warm, and you were sure your cheeks were redder than ever by now.

“i think it’s cute.” daniela told you, beaming at you. her eyes crinkled at the sides as happiness ran through her like electricity.

when you finally recomposed yourself, and daniela decided you’d had enough of her teasing, the conversation flowed easily between you two, going from the different work schedules to shows you were recently into.

time seemed to pass by quickly, and it wasn’t long before telling daniela was telling you her goodbyes after seeing you let out yawn for the second time.

after hanging up and bidding her a goodnight, the remnants of the call lingered with you. though you were tired a second ago, your mind was filled with the thoughts of daniela. a warmth spread from your heart, and you could tell you were carefully threading on the line of thinking her as more than a friend.

the realization scared you, knowing that what was going on between you and her was strictly fun and games.

you were never good with feelings, it was why most of your relationships had ended up in flames, the only exception being kazuha. romantic entanglements always left you feeling empty — whether that was because of the way you saw yourself, pushing others away for self preservation, or the way you’s seen love around you crash and burn, you weren’t sure.

so, with a heavy sigh, you buried it deep inside, deciding to deal with it another day.

you were rarely an angry person, you prided yourself on that. but now, staring at daniela’s instagram story of her and lara, the dark feeling coursed through your veins.

it was a simple photo, one that wouldn’t bother any other person. but what had you clamping your teeth together was the hand placement of lara. her fingers wrapped around daniela’s waist lowly, hugging her close against her body as they stood side by side.

you scoffed, trying to get the image out of your head. daniela would be at your apartment soon, you’d texted her the address earlier in the day, and you didn’t want to ruin your little surprise with your sour mood.

twenty minutes passed by — daniela was late. you usually didn’t fret much on people being on time, especially if it was for a casual hangout, but knowing who the girl was with at the moment blurred your rational thinking.

when she finally reached your place, the door was quickly being closed behind her and she barely had a chance to register her surroundings before you were pressing her against the door, lips attaching to hers.

daniela gasped, startled by your sudden movements. her body melted into yours, fingers digging into the waistband of your pants. your hands fell to her hips, gripping them harshly in the same place lara’s hands were, squeezing the flesh delicately, as if staking your claim. your tongue dipped out to run along her bottom lip, asking for entrance. daniela denied you, leaning her head away as you chased after her.

her hands left your waistband and she placed them on your chest, “someone’s eager.” she chuckled, her lipstick now a mess.

“just missed you,” mumbling hazily, you breathed out in heavy pants. “and i had a really long day yesterday.”

daniela smirked and leaned up until we lips were touching the shell of your ear, whispering lowly. “planning to fuck your frustrations out on me?” she was teasing you, drawing out a deep rumble from you.

one of your hands released the grip on her hip, cupping her jaw as you moved her back to face you and closing the tiny gap between you two.

“you talk too much.”

whatever daniela wanted to say next was swallowed down as you pressed a harsh kiss to her lips once again. you tasted hints of caramel on them, feeling like you addicted and she was your fix.

your body pressed further into hers until your hips rocked together, and your hand made its way into her hair, wrapping your fingers around her curls. daniela’s hands on your chest trailed over until they were gripping your bicep, digging her nails into them. she sighed heavenly, kissing you back with just as much force.

when the need for air was too much, you both parted, breathing heavily. your mind was still reeling from the jealousy you felt, so you hung you head low as your forehead was placed on the junction between daniela’s neck and shoulder.

her body slumped against the door, skin tingling as your hands snuck under her shirt, holding onto her torso.

you were breathing together now, as if you were one person. chest to chest, daniela’s heart beat rapidly against her rib cage. she couldn’t tell that your eyes were closed, trying to recollect yourself, and when you pulled away from, the silver chain of your necklace caught your attention.

at the sight of it, your mind cleared. the jealousy faded away and all that was left was a warm glow in your chest.

your fingers delicately took hold of the necklace, smiling gently. “you’re wearing it.”

daniela gazed at you, pupils dilating. “of course.” she said quietly, “it feels like i have a part of you with me.”

your breath hitched at her words, stuttering for a moment. her hand reached for yours, the necklace dropping around her neck as your fingers locked together.

“tell me about the surprise now.” daniela peered at you, pouting lightly.

you chuckled, finally stepping away from her and pulled her along with you, your hands never letting go of one another.

gesturing around you with your free hand, your lips tugging into a smile seeing the fully furnished place. it was an open floor plan, big enough to have two couches in place, a coffee table, an entertainment system with a flat screen tv, and a dining room on the other end of the room.

daniela looked around, taking in the place though her confusion was visible. you quietly snickered to yourself, running your thumb along the back of her hand.

“i bought it a while ago so that whenever the girls and i come to the states we have a place to crash.” you briefly explained, a gentle smile gracing your features as you observed daniela’s reaction.

“i wanted you to be the first to see it.”

in an instant, her stare shot from looking at the decor to yours. her grip tightened, squeezing your hand for a short second.

and there it was, the stars in her eyes.

hanging in air was the unspoken feelings between you and daniela. the atmosphere around you was soft and intimate, falling deeper into one another.

“yn…” she laughed breathlessly, “this place is amazing.”

you shrugged, keeping your gaze on her as she looked around for a second time. “i figured a hotel would be too risky, especially with paparazzi, so i thought we could spend the night here.”

daniela looked at you again, her grin widening. she used your intertwined hands to pull you closer until your body crashed into hers. she kissed you gently, with such passion and intimacy it made your head spin.

you stopped the kiss for a brief moment, tugging her into the direction of the hallway, a dark glint in yours eyes.

“come on,” you faced her, walking backwards. “the rest of the surprise is in the bedroom.”

daniela giggled, kissing you once again. you laughed together as you made your way to the bedroom in a flurry of kisses, yanking on one another’s clothes and almost tripping over your own feet in your rushed movements.

soft music echoed around the apartment, you and daniela sitting together on couch cushions by the coffee table. takeout boxes were littered on the glass surface, the food half eaten.

there’s a certain comforting feeling surrounding the both of you. daniela was wearing one of your oversized shirts, the sleeve reaching her elbow.

you sighed contentedly, wiping your hands on a napkin and tossing it into the table. “i forgot how hungry sex makes you.”

daniela chortled, “what a romantic thing to say.”

“i try.” you shrugged lightly, grinning like a cat.

she shoved your arm softly, mumbling something incoherent under her breath. you broke into a fit of giggles at her faux angry look. her eyebrows were scrunched together cutely, and her lips were pressed together in a thin line.

you softly nudged on her frown lines, earning a swat on your hand from the latina. she tried to seem annoyed, but the smile you had caused for her own to form.

the two of you settle in a pleasant silence, enjoying one another’s presence. you felt content, thinking you could get used to nights like this with daniela.

“can i ask you something?” her voice breaks the peacefulness. you hummed, leaning your back against the couch and looked at her, tilting your head towards her.

daniela paused, contemplating if she really wanted to ask this. it’d been on her mind for weeks now, ever since the conversation with megan, and the curiosity was killing her. her fingers were wringing together in nervous. she spoke so softly, you had to strain your ear in order to hear her.

“why didn’t you tell me about kazuha?”

the question hangs in the air. you hadn’t expected her to ask this, you weren’t even aware she knew about your and your group member.

“mmh?” your eyebrows creased together, now facing daneila.

“you and kazuha.” she repeated, voice firm. “why didn’t you mention it?”

the latina watched you carefully as you sighed and sat up, staring in front of you. the sudden shift in the room weighed on her, and she feared she had said something wrong. she opened her mouth to tell you never mind, to forget she even asked, but your voice stopped her.

“i didn’t say anything because i didn’t think it was important.” you shrugged carelessly, longingly looking ahead of you. “kazuha and i were together around the time of our debut. she and i were getting closer, and it just sorta… happened.”

you swallowed down a lump that formed at the memories briefly playing in your head. “but it’s over. it was over long before you and i started this.”

in a flash, the memories left your mind. your chest felt heavy, but the lingering scent of daniela’s perfume brought you back. you reminded yourself that kazuha was in the past, and you were better off as friends in any case.

daniela couldn’t stop herself from staring at you, your body language now closed off. it was clear that her question had changed the mood.

“okay.” she mumbled, hushed and quiet.

as you struggled between your past and present, you wet your bottom lip, suddenly becoming aware that you had never spoken about kazuha before, so how did daniela hear about it?

you looked her at in suspicion, “how did you know about that, anyways?”

“does it matter how i know?” daniela retorted quickly, eyebrow raised in defense.

“yes.” you stated, your voice indicating that you were beginning to feel annoyed. “because the only people who’re aware about kazuha and i are my members, and if you knew then you must be talking to one of them, or something.”

“i’m not talking to any of your members, yn.” daniela denied, feeling as if your accusing tone was uncalled for.

“good.” finally turning to look into her eyes, you gave her a pointed gaze. “we agreed to keep this a secret, remember?”

“how can i not remember? you never let me forget it.” she countered bitterly, folding her arms on her lap tightly.

the gravity of the situation took a turn, you could sense it. what was once calm waters was now turning into a high tide. the feelings you and daniela kept hidden beneath the surface came bubbling out in the worst way possible.

daniela was getting defensive and rightfully so, while you had displeasure overpowering your emotions, acting irrationally, spewing out words without giving it an ounce of thought.

“dani, our members can’t know.” you stressed, sitting up to face her fully. “they’ll just try and get involved, ask all sorts of questions, worry about us.”

the blonde squinted at you in disbelief, waving her hand around. “obviously they’ll worry, they’re our friends.”

“it doesn’t matter!” you screeched out, face contorting into one of anger. “it’s better for the both of us to be a secret.”

you got up from your position on the floor, setting the couch cushion back in its place on the furniture. daniela followed your movements, standing across from you, and even though you were right in front of her, it suddenly felt as if you were miles apart.

“right, a secret.” daniela scoffed, looking off to the side. her arms were rigid at her side, clicking her tongue over her teeth.

“or are you just worried how a certain member will react if she finds out?” she questioned, using the same accusing tone you had on her.

you brushed your fingers through your hair, messing it up even more. all you could do was stare at her, jaw clenched at this unbelievable impression she had of you and kazuha.

you blinked, gaze now glaring at her. “don’t do that..” you sighed, shaking your head.

“do what?” she asked, titling her head mockingly.

“say things like that and expect me to read between the lines!” you yelled out, the anger you felt now being put out in the open.

it was alarming how quickly daniela’s demeanor changed. in a split second, her look of wrath and jealousy turned into a blank expression. she swallowed, her throat bobbing up and down. the latina looked around the room, her body feeling exhausted from her rise in temper.

“i think i should go.” she announced, gesturing to the door.

“fine.” you waved, shutting yourself away from her. your voice was cold, “go.”

daniela huffed, not sparing you a second glance as she hurriedly collected her things. when she exited the bedroom, coming out from the hallway fully dressed, you were still standing the place she left you.

a part of her wanted you to stop her, tell her to stay, tell her that everything would be alright. but her desires weren’t met as you stood rooted in your spot. her heart clenched, wondering if this was the end.

with final look, she took her leave.

the door shutting behind her had you gasping for air, the little argument taking its toll on you. you screwed your eyes shut, your mind spiraling with thoughts.

what the fuck just happened? you asked yourself, the takeout on the coffee table reminding of how quickly the night took a turn.

falling back onto the couch and slumping into the softness of it, your hand reached to rub the back of your neck. guilt consumed you, regret taking its hold over you. your hands trembled, stuffing your face into them as you replayed the quarrel in your head.

daniela was long gone from the apartment building, and your heart was taken with her.

it wasn’t the end, at least not yet.

you and daniela didn’t talk for days, the last conversation being the one in your apartment. even when you’d left to go back to south korea, you contemplated texting her, but ultimately decided against it.

you were both feeling the aftermath of everything, coping in your own ways. and how that worked for you, was to binge watch your favorite comfort show. your members joined here and there, they could tell something was up with you but they didn’t ask any questions, knowing that you needed the space and you would talk when you were ready.

it didn’t stop them from speculating, though. yunjin had a feeling that it was to do with daniela, hearing from megan and sophia that the latina wasn’t doing well either. she voiced her concerns to the members, and it was kazuha who promised she’d talk to you when the time was right.

as you got up from your bed to get a drink from the fridge, your phone began to ring. slugging yourself towards it, daniela’s name was clear and bright on your screen.

your heart quickened and your throat felt constricted. why was she calling? what did she have to say to you? when you answered the call, the last thing you expected was for her to be sounding angry, again.

“what fucking shit are you trying to pull?”

you frowned, sitting down on at the foot of the bed. feeling ticked off at her, you matched her fiery tone. “i’m sorry? you don’t talk to me for days and now you’re calling, yelling at me?”

on the other end, daniela rolled her eyes. the rest of the kats were all pilled into the lounge, planning for a movie marathon to cheer up their friend. they could hear her yells from the other room, glancing around at one another in concern.

“shut it,” she barked out. daniela’s hand was on her hip, visibly enraged. “what’s with the gift, huh?”

confusion was etched onto your face. “what are you talking about?”

daniela grumbled, “the gift, yn.” she hollered out, staring at a black box that sat on the kitchen island. the lid of the box lay next to it, while a silver bracelet delicately resting inside. “why is there a gift at the house with my name on it?”

hearing this, you slumped your shoulders and pressed a hand to your forehead. “shit.” you mumbled, the matching bracelet of your necklace slipped your mind once you came back home.

“i ordered it last week while i was in cali. it would take a couple days to get to you, but i forgot about it, dani.” you offered an explanation for the situation. “it was meant to be a surprise.”

daniela’s anger faded. she looked at the silver bracelet and reached out to touch it, gently. her emotions were all over the place, feeling confusion and resentment, but she also couldn’t deny the butterflies that swarmed in her stomach at the gesture.

“what does it mean?” she asked, afraid of the answer.

you stilled, breath being caught in your throat. now would be your chance to tell everything you’d been feeling the past month and a half, but something was stopping you.

what if daniela didn’t feel the same way? what if everything thats been happening was nothing her? what if, when you finally showed all yourself, daniela wouldn’t like what she saw?

as if on instinct, you shut your eyes and did what you do best — shoving your feelings deep inside, locking it away.

“nothing.”

daniela dropped the bracelet back in its place inside the box. hurt washed over her, reality had finally set in. “are you being for real?”

“the gift means nothing, dani.” you told her, even if your heart was screaming at you. “i saw it and thought you’d like it. i don’t know what else you want me to say.”

daniela stood in the katseye dorm, her walls finally crashing down. you both knew that this wasn’t the kind of gift you’d get someone for it to mean nothing, especially when it involved a relationship like yours and daniela’s.

much like the last time you’d seen one another, daniela did her best to mask her feelings. if you could see her now, you’d notice the tears that welled in her eyes, threatening to fall. she took in a deep breath, her voice wavering.

“don’t talk to me again.” daniela uttered, her vision blurry. “ever.”

she hang up from the call, and the second she did a cry ripped from her chest. her stomach was churning, throat feeling blocked as she choked out a sob.

the katseye girls rushed into the space where she was, watching as daniela’s whole world crumbled around her. manon took her into her arms, and daniela knew then she’d finally have to let her members in on her secret arrangement with you.

she definitely wasn’t looking forward to that.

the end of the call left a ringing in your ears, you barely registered how your phone fell from you hands and dropped onto the floor, the thud reverberating around you.

your eyes were beginning to sting. unblinking, you felt your hands shake. everything was spilling out all at once.

a knock was heard at the door, and then kazuha came into the room, noticing your vacant look. you didn’t take any note of her, continuing to stare ahead of you.

she walked towards you, cautiously, slowly, and it was only once kazuha kneeled in front of you did she see the millions of emotions in your eyes.

“yn, are you okay?” her voice broke your daze.

you gasped, chest aching. “zuha…” you called, choking on your words. “i think i really fucked things up with daniela.”

“what do you mean?” kazuha frowned, her hand being placed on your thigh. the weight of the her hand made it feel as if you were being awakened from a dream.

wiping away a stray tear that fell, you wet your lips, finally revealing what had been going on behind the curtains. “dani and i — ahem — we were hooking up. for the past several months, she and i would meet each other secretly. and… i-i couldn’t stop it, zuha. i kept having all these the feelings. and- and i didn’t know what to do.”

kazuha’s eyes widened at your state, seeing the walls around you break down. you were gasping for breath, clutching at your chest. your stomach felt as if it was being twisted, like you would throw up at any moment.

the japanese struggled to find the words to comfort you, but she didn’t need to as you began to speak again.

your voice shook, blinking slowly. “i got her this gift, and i told her it meant nothing.”

kazuha got off her knees, sitting besides you. the bed dipped, “did it?” she questioned.

you shook your head faintly, “no.” your hands grasped at kazuha’s, desperately holding on to them. “i don’t know. fuck, i’ve probably ruined our entire friendship too.”

the dark haired girl pulled your hands onto her lap, forcing you to look at her. it was a sight to behold — seeing her usually stoic member breaking down, eyes red and body shaking.

“hey, listen to me.” she leaned her head down until you were looking into her eyes. “you hid your arrangement pretty well, y’know. but i’ve seen the way you talk about her, the way you look at her. i know how you get when you have feelings for someone.”

she smiled gently, cupping your cheek as she wiped away your tears. kazuha had a warmth about her that made it easy to fall into her touch.

“she told me to never talk to her again.” you mumbled, a few more tears seeped out.

“so what?” kauzha shrugged. her eyes were gentle, furrowing her eyebrows together as she cradled your face in her hands. “you can’t push her away just because you think you’re unloveable.”

this was a delicate situation, and your emotions were at its highest. she needed to tread with caution, but her blunt honesty was necessary to realize your mistakes.

“everything i touch breaks, zuha.” your voice cracked, pain evident in it. you whispered it to her, “even with you and me.”

kazuha muttered no’s under her breath, denying you the opportunity to blame yourself even for a second. “we only ended because we were better off as friends, you know that.”

she spoke with conviction, but the soft features of her face lightened her words. “i get the past hasn’t been kind to you, but you can’t let it ruin your relationships anymore.” kazuha looked deep your eyes as they shone with heartache. “i can tell you really, really like her.”

you nodded, heart pounding. “more than anything.”

kazuha smiled at the quick response, “then let her know.”

her words made your lips tremble, knowing that your relationship with daniela had already crumbled. “she’s not going to want to speak to me after that call. i mean, how do i— wh- what am i even supposed to say?”

the girl pulled you closer, speaking in a rushed manner. “everything. tell her how you feel, why you acted like that. why you were so scared. you have to let her in, yn.”

your eyes were darting around, trying to regain control of yourself. your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, breathing fitfully.

kazuha could tell you were close to a panic attack at all the emotions you were feeling. you’d been carrying this weight on your shoulders for so long, hiding your feelings for daniela since the very first night you stayed at her place.

she rested her forehead against yours, reminding you to breathe. your eyes squeezed shut, as you listened to her mutter sweet nothings, running a hand through your hair to calm you down.

when the worst of it had passed, your head rested in the crook of her neck, falling into her. your breathing had evened out, and your body ached with exhaustion of the emotional breakthrough.

you lips brushed against her skin, “thank you, zuha.” the girl smiled, patting your back until you eyes began to feel droopy.

PLEASE DONT HATE ME Y’ALL 💔 it gets worse before it gets better :/

i MIGHT publish a fluffy lara fic to heal from this lmao, but the next part yn & dani are happy again gang :)

[xhazzz]

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Strawberry-grilled cheese

warnings: make out, kissing, nudity (not explicit smut), coursing

summary: first night together

a/n: ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LENGUAGE so feel free to correct me if there’s anything wrong :)

masterlist || request’s are open

READER’S POV:

The past few weeks had felt like a dream. Jake and I had been seeing each other almost every day—going to the movies, having dinner at home, spending Friday nights at The Hard Deck with the gang, and even sneaking in visits to the base when I brought lunch to my dad. Nat teased us constantly, saying we looked like a high school romance.

“So, are you finally going to spill the tea?” my friend asked, raising an eyebrow. We were chatting comfortably on one of the bar’s couches while the guys were betting on who could beat Hangman at darts. “Is Hangman as good in bed as he brags?”

“God, Phoenix,” I laughed, blushing. “We haven’t even slept together…”

“What?!” she laughed, clearly shocked. “Respect, girl. You’ve got Hangman eating out of the palm of your hand, and he’s completely celibate.”

“Stop,” I rolled my eyes and grabbed a fry from the table. “It’s not like we don’t want to, but we always get interrupted. Last Friday, I almost stripped in front of Coyote.”

“Wasn’t he supposed to be on a date with the girl from the control tower?”

“He was supposed to be,” I sighed, glancing at my boyfriend as he grabbed another round of beers from the bar. “Luckily, Jake managed to cover me with his uniform.”

“Damn, girl…” Nat chuckled.

“Freakin’ Hangman,” Rooster said as he joined us with our drinks. “The idiot made me lose fifty bucks.”

“It’s not my fault you suck, Bradshaw,” Jake shot back, sliding into the seat next to me and draping his arm over my shoulders. “I told you I’m the best there is, didn’t I, Y/N?”

“Oh, you wish, babe,” I laughed, playfully hitting his chest. “You definitely need an ego check.”

Bradley and Nat booed him, laughing, while Jake pretended to be offended.

“What I need is a quiet night with my girl, without any interruptions,” Jake murmured, leaning into my ear and kissing the top of my head and then my chin.

“You two are disgusting,” Roo said, throwing a fry at Jake. “Get a room.”

“I think we will,” I said, settling into my seat and patting Jake’s leg.

“Hell yeah!” Jake exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing my hand to pull me along.

“Are you serious?” Nat asked, raising an eyebrow. “Right now?”

“Right now,” Jake said, grabbing his jacket. “Hey, Coyote, you’d better not come home tonight. I’ll change the locks if I have to.”

“All yours, man,” his friend replied with a wink, clearly occupied with the blonde sitting next to him.

I let go of Jake’s hand for a moment and walked over to Penny at the bar.

“Penny, can you put it all on Rooster’s tab?” I grinned. This was payback for getting free drinks all week in exchange for my number.

“You got it, sweetheart,” she smiled, glancing at Jake and me. “If I see your dad, I’ll let him know not to wait up.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

As soon as we got to Jake’s apartment, he pinned me against the door, cradling my face and kissing me like there was no tomorrow. Our lips fit together perfectly.

“Damn, you taste so good,” Jake murmured, barely pulling away. “You taste like strawberries.”

He began leaving soft kisses and gentle bites along my jaw and neck as I started unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time.

“And you smell amazing, sweetheart,” he added, sliding his hands down my hips, squeezing my ass, and lifting me by the thighs so I could wrap my legs around his waist. “You smell like vanilla.”

I let out a laugh, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carried me to the bedroom. He gently laid me down on the bed and pulled back just enough to look at me. I finished unbuttoning his shirt, and Jake shrugged it off, tossing it somewhere in the room. His dog tags were the only thing left on his chest. I grabbed them, pulling him closer to kiss him again.

I slowly ran my hands down his toned abdomen while he kissed my neck again. His hands moved from my thighs to the hem of my shirt, slipping under it to touch me softly. His touch sent shivers through my body. His thumb grazed the edge of my bra before cupping my breasts in his hands, squeezing them lightly, making me moan.

My hands moved down to his belt buckle, and I quickly undid it as he pulled my shirt over my head.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, starting to undo my pants. Clothes disappeared in a matter of seconds, and the temperature in the room kept rising. The only sounds were our moans and soft murmurs.

Jake was leaning back against the headboard while I straddled his lap, my head tilted back from the pleasure he was giving me. His lips left wet kisses on my breasts, occasionally nipping at them, while his hands roamed my body. They traveled from my neck to my ass, giving it a playful slap as I picked up the pace.

“Damn it, Jake…” I moaned. “I’m close.”

“You feel so good, my love,” he replied, taking control and thrusting into me with more intensity. “You’re perfect, my beautiful girl.”

I moaned loudly as I climaxed, burying my face in the crook of his neck. A few moments later, Jake followed, holding me tightly with both arms as we caught our breath and let our heartbeats steady.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, woman,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead and tracing soft patterns on my back with his fingertips. “But I’m crazy about you.”

We stayed like that for a few minutes, wrapped in each other’s arms, with him still inside me. I left a trail of kisses along his chin and neck before resting my head on his chest, closing my eyes and listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

“As much as I love holding you like this, let me take care of you”, Jake said, lifting me slightly and pulling out carefully before laying me back on the bed and heading to the bathroom. His sheets smelled like his cologne. “Here you go, baby.”

Jake returned with a damp towel and gently cleaned my legs. When he was done, he pressed a kiss to my ankles.

“Do you want some water? Are you hungry?” he asked, sitting beside me.

“What I want is for you to lie down with me again,” I sighed, patting the spot next to me on the bed.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. We lay in comfortable silence as he ran his fingers through my hair, untangling it. We talked here and there, about trivial things, laughing and stealing kisses as if there were no tomorrow.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat something?” Jake asked again. “I can make you a fantastic grilled cheese sandwich.”

“That sounds amazing,” I laughed, propping myself up on my elbow and kissing his lips softly.

We both got up. Jake slipped on a pair of boxers and grabbed a Naval Academy shirt for me. He picked up my panties from the floor and tossed them to me playfully.

“I like these,” he teased with a grin. “Maybe I’ll keep them.”

I rolled my eyes, laughing, and got up to put them on.

“I could leave them for you as a souvenir,” I teased, walking toward the door.

“I love that idea,” he said, following me and giving me a playful slap on the ass. “But don’t worry, sweetheart, I like the thought of you wearing them and me being the only one to take them off even more.”

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Sugar & Spicy Books Chapter 3

Summary:  Y/N is an accomplished writer who is newly divorced, and out of fear of the unknown, moves back to her small hometown she swore she’d never come back to.  She comes across her best friend that never left, who helps her out of a tough spot.  Will old feelings arise?  Or is she just too big for such a small place now?

Warnings:  language, smut

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Y/N got into a routine with Bucky and Autumn.  On the days she picked up Autumn from school she would take her out and about to grocery shop on Mondays, accompany her to softball practice on Wednesdays, and every Friday was take out night.  She loved spending time with Autumn, and could see childhood Bucky in her whenever they would play, or in the way she smiled or laughed.  She also got to spend a lot of time with Winnie, which she was grateful for.  People around town recognized Y/N from way back when or from her books and would try to talk to her sometimes, but she always politely brushed them off whenever she was with Autumn, not wanting to be a spectacle.  Every night after they all got home, had dinner, and Autumn went to bed she and Bucky would talk for way too long, catching up and having in-depth, intellectual conversations that she missed.  She could feel that crush coming on full force as their friendship picked up right where it left off all those years ago.

Two weeks later they all came home one Friday with Bucky acting extra excited.  “Alright, Autumn!  You’re having a sleepover weekend at Grandma’s!” he announced.

“Yay!” Autumn cheered, running up to her room to gather a bag of her things.

“And you and I,” he said quietly, pointing at Y/N, “are going out.”

“Out?” Y/N smiled.  “Out where?”

“Boston,” he smirked.

“Boston?” Y/N scoffed.  “What the hell for?”

“To celebrate,” Bucky said.  “Go change into something nice but warm.  And pack an overnight bag.”

Y/N watched him walk up the stairs with wide eyes.  She quickly followed, changing into one of the nicer dresses she still owned, fixing up her hair and makeup and wearing sensible shoes, just in case.  She grabbed her fluffiest cardigan and a larger purse to carry her overnight things.  When she went back downstairs Autumn was jumping in place, holding her own bag and pillow as Bucky was fixing his hair in the mirror in the entryway.

“Daddy let’s go!” Autumn whined, then turned to Y/N and gasped dramatically.  “Y/N you look beautiful!”

Y/N smiled at her.  “Aw, thanks lovey,” she said, looking down at herself.  She looked up again at Bucky who was more dressed up than she had seen him since she came to town, looking dapper and cleaned up.  She whistled at him.  “Wow, Barnes, you really know how to clean up,” she smirked at him.

Bucky blushed at her compliment.  “Says the woman who came down looking like that,” he gestured to her.  “Looking good, Y/L/N.”

She hid her blush behind a laugh and reached out to squeeze his arm.  Autumn pulled on the sleeve of her cardigan and she quickly placated her.  “Alright, alright, let’s go.”

After dropping Autumn off the ride to Boston was two hours.  She and Bucky talked the whole way, reminiscing on old times and crazy things from their childhoods.  Bucky pulled up to a small hotel downtown, checked them in and dropped off their overnight things, then ordered an Uber.  The driver pulled up to The Bell in Hand Tavern.  “Oh Jesus, I remember this,” Y/N giggled.  “When Sam got us fake IDs and we drank way too much.  I had to haul your ass down the street before the cops came.  You were trying to kiss me the whole way.”

“I remember everything up until that point,” Bucky laughed.  “Then Steve drove us all the way home but missed the turn off and took us to Sugarbrush Farm.”

“Where you bathed in the smallest vat of maple syrup I’ve ever seen,” Y/N laughed as he helped her out of the car.  “You were sticky for weeks…Sugar.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and wound an arm around her shoulders.  He dipped his head down to her ear.  “You think you’re teasing me, but I like it when you call me Sugar,” he said.

“Oh really?” Y/N scoffed, looking at him.  Bucky arched an eyebrow at her as he steered her to the main front bar and flagged down the bartender.  “Hi, I’ll have a Jameson Black Barrel.  And she’ll have a,” he eyed her, “Nantucket Lemonade?”

“Ugh, yes,” Y/N moaned, her eyes rolling back.  “I haven’t had that in ages.”

Bucky’s eyes widened at her expression but he quickly looked back at the bartender.  “That’ll be it,” he nodded.  

When their drinks were ready he took her over to a small table by the window and they sat.  “So, what are we celebrating?” Y/N asked.

Bucky held up his glass.  “Cheers to your divorce.”

Y/N laughed loudly and clinked her glass against his.  “Cheers!” she said, drinking the cocktail.  “Fuck that’s good.”

They ate and drank the night away, laughing and talking too loud as they got more tipsy.  They didn’t notice people leaving until the bartender yelled out, “Last call!”

“Oh shit,” Bucky giggled and took out his phone.  “We gotta go, honey.”

“Aw,” Y/N whined.  “But I’m hungry!”

“We’ll find something to eat on the way back,” he smiled as he stood and helped her get up.  She leaned on him heavily as he paid the tab and then ordered another Uber.  

“How are you still standing and I’m struggling?” Y/N asked, gripping his arm tight.

“‘Cause I had two whiskeys and drank water, and you had…four cocktails?” Bucky chuckled.  

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned as he helped her into the Uber.  They convinced the Uber driver to stop by a fast food place to grab food before going to the hotel, inhaling the burgers and fries while they stumbled in and eventually found their room.

Bucky fumbled with the key card, dropping it twice while Y/N fought back fits of giggles.  When he finally opened the door they both fell inside, laughing maniacally as they sprawled out on the floor and the door shut loudly.  “Ssshhh!!” Bucky shushed her, bringing a finger to her lips.  “It’s late!”

Y/N playfully nipped at his finger, making him gasp.  “Gotcha,” she teased, before rolling over and crawling toward the bed.  Bucky crawled after her, and as she started to climb the bed he slapped her ass.  “Buck!” Y/N gasped, looking back at him.

“What?  It’s not my fault you have a great ass,” Bucky smirked.  

“Oh no, are you gonna try to have your way with me like last time?” Y/N laughed, lifting herself up onto the bed and laying flat on it.

“How dare you!  I would never take advantage of such a refined lady!” he said in a horrible British accent.  He flopped onto the bed next to her.  “Though I can assure you…you’d love it,” he winked.

“So sure of yourself,” Y/N giggled.  Her head was feeling fuzzy, the filter fully gone as she turned to face him.  He leaned on his elbows, making it so he was slightly hovering above her at the angle she put herself in.  Y/N stared at him for a moment before her hand reached up and her finger traced his lips.  “You’re a good kisser, did you know that?” she asked.

“What?” Bucky scoffed.  

“The night before I left,” Y/N frowned.  “You kissed me, remember?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, blinking rapidly.  

Her thumb ran along his bottom lip, slightly pulling it down before she dropped her hand between them.  “Softest, prettiest lips,” she whispered, then closed her eyes.  “Felt like my heart was…flying that night,” she breathed.  

“Really?” Bucky’s voice sounded closer.

“Mhm,” Y/N nodded, her eyes still closed.  “Been dreaming about it ever since.”

She felt Bucky’s nose nuzzle her nose, his breath fanning her cheek.  “I liked kissing you,” he breathed.

Y/N opened her eyes, looking up to see him staring at her with a soft look in his eyes.  “Really?” she asked.  

“Been dreaming about it ever since,” he repeated her words with a smirk.

Y/N sobered up as she processed his words and the position they were in, this moment that hung precariously in the balance between friendship and something more.  She had the sudden realization that she had loved this man since she was a child, but it had just never been their time.  He had only entered her life again recently, and as different and separate as their lives had been, it was like no time had passed at all.  She wanted this.   This life, with him and Autumn, in the town that she had initially run away from.  

Bucky slowly leaned down, his gaze flickering to her lips.  “Can I…can I kiss you, honey?” he whispered, his lips ghosting over hers.

“Yes,” Y/N whispered.

He smiled, then kissed her.  Y/N sighed into the kiss, her entire body relaxing into the bed.  It was like all the stress, tension, uncertainty, how lost she felt and how big the world felt, it all disappeared and tunnel visioned into this moment.  All that mattered was that it was Bucky and he was kissing her…and it was perfect.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hand holding the back of his head to keep him close, scratching into his hair.  Bucky moaned at the scratch, pulling his body to completely hover over hers, his hips nestled between her legs.  Y/N got lost in his kisses, the euphoria of feeling his lips, his tongue, his teeth, his hands caressing her everywhere, his heaviness on top of her.  She didn’t realize when they’d gotten naked, but suddenly they were and she felt him everywhere she could reach.  The planes of muscles built up over time, the tuft of chest hair, his calloused fingers, and the pure pleasure at his cock rubbing between her lower lips.  

Bucky kissed down her neck, her chest, giving plenty of attention and care to her breasts, then down her stomach to her core.  He lifted her legs over his shoulders, gripping her thighs as he kissed over her clit, making her gasp and buck her hips, Bucky forcing her to stay put.  He made out with her pussy, kissing and licking it like it was the most delicious dessert he’d ever had.  Y/N’s head wrenched back as he sucked at her clit, then flicked it repeatedly with the tip of his tongue.  She was cumming in seconds, squirming in his hold as she whimpered above him.  Bucky licked and drank all she gave him.  When he helped her through the aftershocks of her orgasm he slowly pulled himself up and crawled back up to kiss her, his mouth and chin shining with her slick.  “And you call me Sugar,” he smiled as he bent down and kissed her again.

Y/N moaned at the taste of herself on his lips, her fingers scratching down his back.  “Buck please,” she breathed.  

Bucky nodded as his hand gripped his cock and slid it through her pussy again.  “I’ll take care of you, honey,” he said.  He aimed himself and started pushing forward.  Y/N slightly winced at the stretch, her hands gripping his biceps as he thrust into her.  When his hips were flush with hers he let out a grunt, his head leaning on her shoulder.  “Fuck, Y/N…you feel so fucking good.  Jesus,” he kissed her collarbone.  

“You’re amazing,” she replied.  “Please fuck me, Sugar.  Fuck me.  I can take it.”

Bucky huffed a laugh against her skin.  “I’m sure you could, honey.  And as much as I’d love to fuck you, right now I just wanna make love to you.”  He lifted his head to look at her.  “I just wanna feel you, nice and slow.  Is that okay?” he pleaded.  “I’ve wanted you for years, Y/N.  I’ve loved you for so long.”

Y/N could feel tears start to build in her eyes.  “I love you, Bucky,” she sniffled, cupping his face in her hands.  “I’ve always loved you.”

Bucky smiled wide then kissed her.  He started thrusting slowly, pulling keens and groans from her throat.  His cock felt perfect, like it was meant to be in her.  As much as she and Raf had had a mostly fulfilling sex life, it had never felt like this was him.  Bucky’s hips rolled and thrust randomly, the switch up making her eyes roll back every time.  He dug a hand under her neck, gripping her by the back of the head and the nape of the hair on her neck, forcing her head certain ways as he kissed her repeatedly.  He would nip at her jaw and her earlobe, before kissing his way back to her mouth, where the kisses would change from sweet, soft pecks to demanding, sloppy, and passionate.  She felt lightheaded at how he played her body like an instrument only he knew.

Her pussy fluttered around him, making him shudder above her, pulling away from another kiss as he gasped.  “Damn, you gonna cum for me, honey?  Cum all over my cock, huh?”  Y/N nodded like she was still drunk.  Bucky’s hips picked up the pace, his cock dragging in and out of her exquisitely.  He suddenly hauled himself up and held her against him so she was sitting in his lap, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he changed the angle and started thrusting up into her even deeper.  Y/N squealed, her nails digging into his back.  “You feel how deep I am, Y/N?  God, you’re perfect.  Most perfect pussy.  Better than I could have ever dreamed.”  He kissed her deeply again, his hand still holding her by the back of the neck and his other hand splayed on her back, holding her where he wanted her.  When he broke the kiss he leaned his forehead against her forehead and stared in her eyes.  “You’re my perfect dream, you know that?  Goddamn, I love you.”

“And you’re mine,” Y/N said, her breaths huffing against his face.  “Love you…love you, Sugar, Bucky, love you.”  She rattled on, feeling the build up in her belly.  “Mine,” she groaned.

“Yours,” Bucky nodded, his hand at her neck sliding down to her clit and flicking it with his thumb fast.  “Mine,” he nearly growled.

Y/N stiffened in his arms and came hard, shaking as it felt like lightning shooting through her veins and she cried out his name.  He buckled at how her pussy gripped his cock, falling back onto the bed with her, his hips rolling into her as he shuddered again and whimpered loudly in her ear as he came.  They held each other tightly as they calmed down, hot breaths fanning each other’s skin.  Bucky lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her.  His gaze made her heart leap with how soft and wondrous he looked.  “Did you mean it?” he asked quietly.

“What?” Y/N frowned.

“That you love me,” Bucky said, tracing her face with his fingers.

She smiled.  “I do.  I love you, Sugar.  I’ve loved you since we were kids.  I wish I would have realized it sooner.”

Bucky smiled.  “Been dreaming about me ever since?”

Y/N laughed and smacked his shoulder.  “Yes, you little shit.”

Bucky chuckled, but his eyes looked mischievous.  “Did you think of me when you were fucking your husband?”

Y/N scoffed incredulously.  “Okay, first of all, ex-husband, and secondly, you cheeky bastard!” 

“Answer the question, honey,” Bucky said, dipping his head back down into the crook of her neck, nipping at her skin.  His hold on her tightened again, and his hips rocked into her, pulling a gasp from her lips at how he was getting hard inside her again.  

“Sometimes,” she replied breathily.  

He hummed in her ear.  “I’m gonna take real good care of you, honey.  All that sexy stuff in your books?  God, you got me feeling horny for years from your stories.  Now I’m gonna take my time and show you what it can really be like.  You want to show me how well you can take it now?”

Y/N groaned.  “Holy shit…yes!” she cried out.

Bucky chuckled darkly.  “Good girl…”

[msmk11]

okay so hear me out for an angst idea. remus x muggle reader. they’re dating and so in love and she doesn’t know he’s a wizard or werewolf yet. all of the sudden he shuts her out (cause he’s scared to tell them) and she’s stressing thinking he’s done w her and go from there where you please 😘

(also feel free to make gender neutral i just used she pronouns bc that’s what i use lol)

Magic Tricks

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

WC: 2k

CW: Angst; hurt/comfort; Remus doesn’t know how to communicate

A/n: thank you for the request lovely! I definitely tried to make it angsty, but I didn’t wanna prolong it cuz I know Remus would be trying to remedy the problem ASAP!! I hope you enjoy

The first day or so of silence you give him an out, figuring something is going on. But when he still doesn’t reach out after four days, a pit of dread begins to fill your stomach. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened to you. Not with Remus, obviously, but with other boyfriends. Disinterest was always the first step, and then silence, and then the inevitable “it’s not you, it’s me.” You just don’t understand what you could’ve done wrong. Things with Remus, at least you thought, were going well. Great, even. You were certain he was going to be the one you would marry. But now? Now you’re not so sure.

Instead of spending Friday night depressed and alone, you tag along after work to the company’s happy hour. You hope it’ll get your mind off your suddenly distant boyfriend and even help you loosen up.

You’re sitting at a table chatting with some girls from your department about one of their annoying neighbors when the restaurant door opens again and a chilly breeze blows through. You tighten your jacket as you look up at the brisk intrusion and falter There, getting seated by the hostess, is Remus. With another girl. 10,000 emotions are swirling through you, but the worst by far is shock.

Your shoulder is shaken, “hey, you okay?”

Your throat constricts in your chest and you’re not sure you can respond to your concerned coworker, “hmm?”

“You don’t look so good” another says.

“I- I’m sorry I just, I just saw my boyfriend, over there, and he’s with another girl.”

A plethora of protests and groans of disgust emit from your friends but you tune them all out. You’re hurt and confused, and before you know it, your legs have carried you over to where Remus and this redhead girl are sitting.

“Remus?”

You hate how hoarse your voice comes out, and your stomach twists in embarrassment.

The brunette’s head snaps up, eyes meeting yours and widening, “dove?”

Your eyes flit between the happy pair and you scoff, “funny seeing you here, sweetheart. I see now why I haven’t heard from you in days.”

The redhead chokes on her drink, cheeks turning a dark shade of crimson, “oh no! That’s not! We’re not!”

You glare at her and look back at Remus, arms crossed, “what the fuck, Remus? If you weren’t interested in me anymore you could’ve just said it. Instead, you’re going behind my back with other girls. That’s low.”

You turn around and begin to storm off, angry tears building in your eyes.

A warm, familiar hand grabs your wrist, stopping you, “dove, wait, no! It’s not what it looks like. I swear! Please give me a chance to explain. This is Lily! You remember her, right? I’ve talked about her before. She’s my friend from school.”

You stare at the love of your life disbelievingly, “seems like she’s more than just your friend.”

Remus shakes his head desperately, “no that’s not it. Please, let me talk. Just-“ his eyes flit around the room anxiously, aware of the many people watching the scene unfold, “can we go somewhere private to talk.”

“Now you wanna talk?” And damn it, a few tears start rolling down your cheeks, “Remus I haven’t heard from you in a week, and then I catch you with another girl. You have to know how it seems. Even if nothing happened, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve ignored me, and made me feel worthless. I- I can’t be with someone who ghosts whenever they feel like it!”

“Baby, my love, please,” he pleads, his hands trembling.

“Remus, I’m done. I can’t,” you pull out of his grasp and stalk back over to your table, grabbing your purse and leaving in a hurry of embarrassed tears.

You’ve been bawling your eyes out on the couch for the last few hours, wallowing in your own self-pity. You can’t believe it. You and Remus are really over. The love of your life is gone. You’re not sure you can ever recover. Your phone has been buzzing like crazy- likely Remus- but you choose to ignore it. You can’t talk to him right now, not after everything that happened tonight.

A knock on the door interrupts your thoughts and you stand, wrapping a blanket around you and wiping the remnants of tears from your stained cheeks. When you open it you’re surprised, but not, to see Remus.

“What are you doing here?”

“Dove. I came here to see you…. to explain….everything. I didn’t get the chance at the bar, and you wouldn’t answer my texts or calls. So I’m standing here now, before you, to just give me one chance to make things right. Please, sweetheart, I’m begging you.”

You concentrate on him, eyes scanning his form. His brunette hair is tousled and messy, his clothes are disheveled, and he looks unbelievably tired and stressed. Even though you’re angry and upset, you love him still, and your heart tells you to fight for any possible chance there might be to save this relationship.

“Fine, come in.”

You turn around and stalk into the living room. Remus’ heavy footsteps fall into step behind you and he shuts the door, sealing off the cold night. You take up home on your gray couch again, finding comfort in it amongst the most uncomfortable situation of your life.

He looks at you awkwardly and ruffles his hair, “can I sit?”

You scootch over to give him room even though your body craves to be closer.

“So, what great excuse do you have for tonight? For ignoring me?”

Remus coughs and turns a shade paler, “uhm, right, okay. Uh- I,” he curses quietly, “sorry. I. Okay I’m just gonna say it. I’ve been ignoring you because I’m- I’m a wizard. And I was scared to tell you because I thought you’d run away and think I’m crazy and I love you so much and. Yeah.”

Disbelief. That’s the only emotion you feel. You scoff loudly and glare at him, “are you fucking kidding me, Remus? A wizard. That’s your excuse? And what great one do you have for Lily, huh? Let me guess, she’s a vampire.”

“Well no she’s a witch actually and-“

Remus freezes, realizing that doesn’t really matter because you aren’t being serious.

Tears threaten to spill from your eyes again and you stand up, wiping them away frustratedly, “Do you think I’m stupid, Lupin? Do you really discount my intelligence and dignity so much that you think you can use a bullshit excuse like that? I thought you’d at least grant me a mature conversation, but your behavior this past week should’ve warned me that wouldn’t be the case.”

“No, beautiful! I’m not lying, I would never, ever treat you so unkindly I- Well I know I’ve been unkind this week, but just let me show you.”

He fumbles in his dark brown coat and pulls out a long brown stick.

“Let me guess, that’s your wand. And where’s the broom?”

“I can’t afford one,” Remus says with a blush.

You only roll your eyes, “right then, let’s see you do a spell if you really are a wizard.”

He clears his throat nervously and nods. He flicks his ‘wand’ and a bouquet of red roses appears in his hand.

Your eyes widen and you’re impressed, but still not convinced. A flower- appearing-trick is an act you’re sure any skilled magician can pull off with some practice.

Remus extends them to you- “an apology. For being a right prick.”

A smile wavers on your face but you push it down and don’t accept his gift, “is that supposed to convince me, Remus? Any magician could do that.”

His hopeful gaze falters and he bites his lip, “right. Okay- okay hold on uh….Please don’t freak out.”

Remus stands up and moves to the middle of the room, and it’s not lost on you that you really feel like you’re attending a children’s magic show. He holds his hand with the wand to his head and taps twice and right before your eyes Remus slowly disappears into thin air.

Your heart quickens in your chest and you curl into the couch, “Remus! What the fuck?”

“Dove! I told you not to freak out.”

Something touches your arm and you scream, flinching away.

“Sorry, sorry, my love. It’s just me. I’m right in front of you.”

You tremble as your eyes dart around the room, brain not comprehending how you can hear but not see him.

“Baby, reach out slowly.”

You shake your head.

“Please,” he asks in a strained whisper.

With shaky hands you reluctantly reach out until your hands hit something. You flinch slightly, but when something warm wraps around your wrkdr you relax. Even when invisible you’d recognize that touch- the gentle, calloused skin of Remus’ hands.

“H-how? I- you- magic….”

Slowly Remus appears back in view and sits down, tentatively taking both of your hands into his. He almost sighs audibly when you don’t fight his touch.

“I’m happy to answer any questions you want, dove. Just, I want to know… do you still want me? Can you forgive me for lying and ignoring you? Do you think I’m a freak?”

You’re certainly dazed, but you’re awakened from your trance at those final words…. do you think I’m a freak?

Are you overwhelmed? Yes. Are you freaked out? Absolutely? Do you still not totally belive magic is real? For sure. Are you still mad at Remus? Yeah, maybe a little.

But do you think he’s a freak?

“Baby,” you sigh, eyes softening and hand moving to cup his face, “of course not. We… we certainly have a lot to talk about… both magical and communication based… but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. I’d love you less if you cheated or were a terrible person, or lied for a bad reason. But for being different than me… for being you, I could never, ever hate you. I don’t think you’re a freak baby. I love you, for all that you are. And I wish you would’ve trusted in me a little more.”

“I was just so scared to lose you,” he confesses hoarsely, his tired eyes dimming with sadness, “but I see I did that more by hiding than just telling you the truth.”

You hum and nod, running your thumb over his bony cheeks…

“Rem?”

He hums, brown eyes looking at you so softly you melt.

“I obviously have lots of other questions but first… Lily… you’re really not-“

“No! No! Dove, never. I love Lily, but she really is just a friend. She was actually lecturing me on the way to the pub tonight about how I was gonna mess things up with you if I didn’t get my act together.”

“Think I need to meet her formally…” you murmur amusedly, “we’d get along well…”

Remus chuckles fondly and carefully wraps you into his embrace.

You go nearly boneless.

“I really am sorry, my love,” he murmurs into your hair.

You inhale the scent of his sweater and the lingering smell of old books on his collar and sigh, “no more apologies, baby. Just promise me you’ll never do that again.”

Remus kisses your forehead gently, “never. But on that note, I should probably confess that I’m also a-“

[k3nz1ekorn]

Jayvik Actor au- Karaoke confessions pt.1

Character cheat sheet: Viktor-Vladamie/Vlad, Jayce-Joel, Vi-Viola, Cait-Cathrin/Cat, Mel-Miah, Savannah- Sevika, Sky- Skyler, Powder/Jinx-Piper, Ekko-Elijah

Preview- Vlad’s driver had dropped them off outside the bar roughly half an hour ago and there was no sign of Joel. He had stressed over his outfit for an hour in total and the one man he was trying to impress wasn’t even here. He took another sip of his drink and let his eyes drift around the room for the umpteenth time, fiddling with the end of his came in his free hand. His cropped band shirt came down to his waist, covered by the open button up Viola had insisted on. The choice left a nice section of his stomach uncovered before it was met with his dark green cargo pants, not his first choice but his favorite brace for dancing was more comfortable with the slightly thicker fabric. Even without his ideal pants, he looked good and he knew it. He just wished the object of his affection would show up so he could prove it.

Minor Caitvi and Melvika in this one. They get like a full paragraph though.

Vlad was jealous. It was a plain and simple fact. Why? Joel Torres. His own filming for Arcane was on hold the past few days since they were focussed on other scenes, not a problem, He had plenty of other projects to fill his time with! Unfortunately this did mean he hadn’t seen Joel since Monday. It was currently Friday. The absolute horror, am I right? And though that would be changing tonight, having set plans for over a week now, it didn’t help the ugly emotion that had been churning in his gut. The media had started a rumor that there was something going on between his costars Miah and Joel, and while he knew it wasn’t true, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes and huff every time he got a “Sorry, Joel and I need to run lines, can we do lunch tomorrow?” or an even worse “im with miah ill see you friday” from Joel (and his lack of proper grammar over text), which by the way, ouch? That had been sent on Wednesday and no communication had been had between the two since. That’s actually what brings us to the current topic and conversation, the one about him being jealous.

The stars of Arcane were all finally going out for drinks together, as actual friends he might add, and due to the varying degrees of fame amongst them, they’d booked a VIP room at Viola’s favorite karaoke bar for the night. Viola, Miah, and himself were currently in varying states of the getting ready process in his living room. Miah was sitting on his patterned blue rug in front of the couch with her makeup and a mirror on the coffee table in front of her, she currently wore his bathrobe over her white skirt and cropped pink baby tee to avoid getting makeup on anything. Viola was in his kitchen just ten feet away absolutely decimating his liquor cabinet, and he was sitting behind Miah on his gray velvet couch, using her mirror to fix his hair for the 15th time.

“Vlad I’m telling you to just ask him the fuck out, okay?” Viola popped back up from under the counter and set down three shot glasses, proceeding to pour them some of his…when did he buy whiskey? He doesn’t drink whiskey. “It’s been WEEKS now of fuck me eyes back and forth around the lot,” She punctuated her words with a dramatic lean to the side and a wave of the hand,” and I’m out $30 if one of you can’t get it together and make a damn move by the end of filming. Do you want me to be out $30?” Their head snapped to look in Vlad’s direction, an accusatory finger following. “Because I thought-”

“You and Joel will be in the same vicinity tonight, I would not recommend that once we leave.” That earned him a laugh from Miah and a dramatic groan of annoyance from Viola. She picked up their tray of shots and walked around the breakfast bar into the living room. Tonight they were donned in chest tape with an open cropped black jacket over it, a pair of black jeans and studded boots to complete the look. She set the tray down and sat beside him on the couch. He didn’t need to look at them to know they were facing him.

“Uncalled for, there hasn’t been an incident in over a week and you know it. Plus who else is gonna be your wingman? Cat ain’t subtle and whenever Miah gets within five feet of him it’s on the cover of Teen magazine.” He cringed a bit at that, it was true after all. It was also the entire reason they were having this conversation at all. Another cover shot of Joal and Miah’s “lunch date” as the article had put it.

“I’d hardly call your methods subtle, besides I don’t know how many times I have to tell you he isn’t interested. He doesn’t seem like the type to...what was that saying Miah?” He makes eye contact with her in the mirror, “Beat the bush? It had to do with a bush.” He finally looks over at Viola as she downs her shot.

“Beat around the bush dear. And no, he’s not. That’s what we’re trying to tell you.” Miah finally speaks as she blends out her blush. “We’ve already established he’s not interested in me, nor I him. You can even ask him if you really want to know for sure.” She gives him a pointed look and closes her compact with a satisfying click. He breaks their eye contact to reach for his cane. He’d had enough of this conversation to be frank, and needed to finish getting dressed. 

“Maybe I will hmm? Who knows what the night will bring, but in the meantime, please do not burn down my apartment while I change.” That was definitely directed at Viola. “I’m moving in a few months and I’d like my deposit back, thank you.” He turns to go to his bedroom, his exit is punctuated with the soft clicks of his cane, and as Viola watches him go she doesn’t know whether she wants to scream or cry at his obliviousness. 

“He could tell the moment you set your sights on someone, but has no idea when someone does the same for him?” The question is directed at Miah, who looks to be nearly done with her makeup. A joint sigh escapes them both as they make eye contact. It’s like a light bulb appears above Viola’s head as a smirk makes its way across her face and Miah knows what she’s going to say before the words even escape her mouth. “Speaking of…how’s that going? Savannah right?”

She can tell Miah’s blushing under her perfectly applied makeup and gives a nudge of encouragement with her foot. The woman bats her foot away and rolls her eyes. “Yes Savannah. We’re only texting right now, nothing’s…going yet. But I invited her tonight so with a little liquid courage and half an edible I think I’ll work up the nerve to ask her out.” She unclips her shoulder length butterfly locs and gives her head a shake to help fix them before she turns off her mirror’s light. With a little uncertainty she takes a deep breath and turns to face her friend. “How did you…when you asked out Cat…uh…any pointers?” Her head tilts to the side with an awkward smile

Viola barks out a laugh and leans over to hand the other her previously forgotten shot. Miah immediately downs it gratefully and lets out a little chuckle before continuing. “Men are easy for me, y'know? I can flirt with them no problem, go on dates with them, text, but with Savi? It’s like I can’t even get a word out…” She leans herself back against the couch defeated, following the way the fan spins with her eyes. She hears the way Viola sucks her teeth before replying with an almost cautious tone.

“Honestly? No idea. Cathrin asked me out. Walked up to me after an audition I did at Kurtmen Studios and said I’d ‘gotten the part of her date’ for that Saturday." They share another chuckle, “Best I can tell you is to just dive in and hope for the best…she’s definitely a lesbian though, I looked into it for you.”

“...oh?”

“Yep. Half her posts tag that Lesbian bar on the other side of town and the other half are selfies at the gym or hiking.”

“Vi that sounds like yo- oh. Yeah I believe you.”

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Vlad’s driver had dropped them off outside the bar roughly half an hour ago and there was no sign of Joel. He had stressed over his outfit for an hour in total and the one man he was trying to impress wasn’t even here. He took another sip of his drink and let his eyes drift around the room for the umpteenth time, fiddling with the end of his came in his free hand. His cropped band shirt came down to his waist, covered by the open button up Viola had insisted on. The choice left a nice section of his stomach uncovered before it was met with his dark green cargo pants, not his first choice but his favorite brace for dancing was more comfortable with the slightly thicker fabric. Even without his ideal pants, he looked good and he knew it. He just wished the object of his affection would show up so he could prove it. 

He was brought out of his thoughts when the stool next to him scraped against the floor and it was pulled out, a set of blue eyes and a blonde beard coming into view as the newcomer ordered. He heard him say a whiskey on the rocks, and being a drink or two in at this point, decided he'd make the most of his night. The bartender set down the drink and out of the corner of his eye he saw Viola go up to sing Wannabe by the Spice Girls again.

“Whiskey eh? I’m more of a vodka man myself, but maybe their selection here is a bit better than what I’m used to.” He faced the other as he vocalized his thoughts and realized he recognized him, he had seen him at a queer club Miah had dragged him to last weekend. He’d definitely been checking Vlad out. 

“It’s not my usual go to, but I’m gearing up to buy this guy a drink and needed an extra push. Sitting right next to me actually, you think he’d want one?” The man raised his eyebrow and took a long sip of his drink. Vlad let the side of his mouth curl into a half smile and chuckled.

“I think he’d like a shot of vodka. And a name to go with such a cute face.” His head came to rest on his hand as he spoke, cane now resting against his inner leg The other quickly waved down the bartender and ordered the shot while Vlad finished the remainder of his drink. 

“I’m Charlie. Yknow when my friend said he was gonna get us into an exclusive bar, I didn’t expect to see so many famous faces. Yours included.” The shot was set down and Vlad raised it to his new counterpart before downing it. His eyes stayed on the bar for a moment as he responded.

“Oh? So you know me then? And here I thought you just wanted a drink with a handsome stranger?” He was only half teasing. It would have been nice to not be recognized, but with his rising fame it was becoming harder and harder to find possible partners that didn’t already know who he was. He asked for another vodka soda.

Charlie made no indication he was bothered by what was just said, even laughing along, but as he made a move to respond he tensed a bit, leaning just a bit farther away and eyes widening in an almost confused way, it would have been comical in any other circumstance. His eyes had focused on something behind Vlad and he himself now felt a presence in the previously empty space behind him. It was familiar, and he scrunched up his face in curiosity before swiveling around just a bit to see who it was.

“You can go. Sorry to keep you waiting Vladimir, Cat and I got into a bit of an argument before we left.” Joel quickly came into sight and claimed the bar stool on the other side of him, eyes not leaving Charlie’s. Vlad made a noise of confusion and shook his head in a way he really hoped was nonchalant.

“Oh uh…” Fuck “You didn’t! Viola’s stage presence has had me captivated until just a minute ago, Charlie and I were just talking.” The man in question looked between the two a few times, trying to gauge the situation. Joel raised a brow at him when Vlad had turned back to the blond, eyes narrowing just a tad.

“I said you can go?” and oh was he gone. Departing with a quick nod of his head and walking quickly in another direction. Vlad’s face scrunched up in confusion. He thought they were heading somewhere with their conversation too. With only mild disappointment, he shrugged and turned his attention to Joel, whose eyes had found their way back to Vlad the moment Charlie had hurried off. He had an unreadable look on his face as Vlad’s eyes found his and silence overtook them. 

Joel briefly looked to the bartender to order a glass of tequila when Vlad’s drink was brought over and Vlad unwillingly made a mental note to try tequila the next time he went out. He’d already mixed alcohol enough for one night and he didn’t want to be totally incoherent now that the object of his desires had reared his beautiful head. Not a word was spoken as whoever was next went up on stage and Joel took a sip from his first drink of the night. Vlad was the first to break the silence, he usually was he noted.

“You look good tonight, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out of costume now that I think about it. Green’s a good color on you.” This was true, he’d only ever seen the other man in their Arcane costumes and the occasional jacket to avoid spilling anything on it. He looked good. He was dressed in a fitted dark green sweater over a dark grey button up shirt, though how anything fit under that sweater with how tight it seemed to be was a mystery. He had on black pleated slacks and dark grey shoes, a bit professional for a bar but who was he to judge. What caught his eye most was the gold chain around his neck, with a beautiful blue rock hanging from it. He’d seen it before, on a bracelet Joel always wore on set. It must be interchangeable? Or part of a set? Eh who cares, he was two seconds away from drooling- Oh shit his mouth was open. He snapped his jaw shut with a light click and cleared his throat, eyes looking anywhere but the man beside him. Embarrassment heavy on the air around him.

Joel waited a moment before responding, “Thanks. I like this sweater. It’s soft, see?” An arm was held out in front of him and Vlad actually didn’t have time to be embarrassed about the way his hand shot out to feel along Joel’s bicep and forearm. It was definitely soft…and did so very little to hide the absolute unit of an arm underneath it. 

“I see…very nice, yes.” He said as he brought his arm back down to his pocket. Joel gave a hum of approval and threw a glance over Vlad’s shoulder again before letting his eyes come back to the other’s. 

They got into a comfortable conversation from there, Vlad very animatedly talking about this or that, Joel making comments here and there. They both found they had a mutual love of horror films, both loving the Evil Dead franchise and the remake of The Invisible Man. A comment was made that they should make plans to see something together once they had more free time, and Vlad plays off the flush oh his face with being just a bit buzzed.

“So’s that your type?” Vlad absolutely froze at the words.

“You mean Charlie?” He asked in an almost perplexed curiosity. Why were they talking about him again, it had been nearly an hour since he’d gone on his way.

“If that was his name.” He had to find an answer soon with the way Joel was staring at him. The thing was, while yes that was his type, he had his ideal specimen of a man sitting directly next to him…who also coincidentally fit the majority of the criteria he preferred, more so that the blond had in fact. He cleared his throat and let his eyes fall to the floor for a second, drink swirling in his hand while he thought of an answer.

“For the most part, give or take the ehh…facial hair I suppose?” Was that subtle? Oh gods it definitely wasn’t. Where was Viola? She was meant to be a wingman tonight for him. He dared a glance at the other as the words rolled off his tongue, she had said to be more forward anyways.

“Hm. Definitely not my type but we all have our preferences.” Joel shrugged as he answered. He felt himself deflate just the smallest bit as he decided to ask a bold and very clarifying question. 

“Oh? Like men in general?” Fuck fuck fuck abort abort abort-

“No. Men are fine, he’s just not my type.”  Vladimir’s head had never in his life whipped up so fast, and he had never been so embarrassed about a reaction as when his gaze locked onto a pair of beautiful golden eyes, staring right into his soul.

“Ah. I see.” He responded slowly.

“I just prefer a smaller partner. Eye color is all wrong too.” Joel broke their eye contact for the first time as he glanced at a loud crash across the room. Vlad couldn’t bear to look away from his face at that moment.

Was he flirting? Was it just one too many drinks and an active imagination? He didn’t think he’d had enough to make himself lose his perception of those around him, but maybe it was time to call it quits for the night. His mouth suddenly felt very dry as he watched Joel’s eyes drift back to his own.

“I’ll be back. I’d like to talk more.” Joel downed the remainder of his drink and stood up, “I like talking to you…Vlad. Apologies for not being able to see you much this last week.” Heat crept up his neck as we watched the taller man walk away towards the commotion. He could now clearly see Piper, another castmate of theirs, had been the cause. He couldn’t be bothered to figure out what was happening though, too lost in thought about the conversation he’d just had.

Author's note: Im like a fly rubbing my hands together in an evil way whenever i write bc i just love making vik flustered

[idkanymark]

[ I hate the weather]

jeno x f!reader | jaemin x f!reader | love triangle

INTRO: You finally had Jeno, the boy you always wanted. But as time passed, your heart couldn’t ignore the pull you felt for Jaemin. The more you tried to change for Jeno, the more you realized the truth. It was Jaemin who had always held a piece of your heart.

Lowkey inspired by: Moth to flame by The Weeknd and Swedish House and Favourite crime by Olivia Rodrigo

----

“You should be happy” you tell yourself for the hundredth time, staring at the photo of you and Jeno on your phone. His arm draped protectively over your shoulders, his smile wide and carefree. You finally got what you always thought you wanted—a boyfriend who loved you, treated you well, and made you feel safe.

But then why does your heart ache every time Jaemin’s name pops into your mind?

It all started three months ago

Back then, it felt innocent. You had confessed your crush on Jeno to Jaemin, your best friend since childhood.

“You want me to do what?” Jaemin had asked, his voice incredulous.

“Help me” you pleaded. “Drop hints, invite him to hangouts—something.”

Jaemin frowned, his arms crossed as he leaned back on the couch. “I don’t know, Y/N. This sounds… weird.”

“It’s not weird” you countered. “Please, Jaemin. I just… I really like him.”

Jaemin had sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Fine. I’ll do it. But only because I want to see you happy.”

And he did try. He invited Jeno to your usual Friday movie nights, though the result wasn’t exactly smooth. You and Jaemin argued over movies, as always, and Jeno sat awkwardly in the middle, trying not to take sides.

Then there was the Dreamies’ hangout, where instead of impressing Jeno, you managed to catch Haechan’s relentless teasing instead. Still, you learned something important that night: Jeno liked blonde hair, and he seemed drawn to girls like Yoo Jimin.

That revelation sparked a change.

The next day, while hanging out at Jaemin’s place, you blurted out a question that had been gnawing at you.

“Should I dye my hair blonde?”

Jaemin looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow. “Why? You hate blonde hair. Remember that movie we watched and you said ruined it for you?”

“Jeno likes blonde hair” you replied matter-of-factly.

Jaemin’s face darkened slightly, but he didn’t say much. “If you want to, go ahead. Just… make sure you’re doing it for you.”

A few days later, the transformation was complete. You stepped out of the bathroom at home with newly dyed blonde hair, nervously smoothing it down as you opened the door to Jaemin’s knocks.

“Y/N?”

When he saw you, he froze. His gaze lingered longer than usual, taking in your hair.

“What do you think?” you asked, doing a small twirl.

“You look good” he said finally, though his tone carried an edge you couldn’t place.

But as time went on, things started to change.

The more you learned about Jeno’s ideal type, the more you started changing to fit them. The more you tried to be the girl he would notice, the further you drifted from the version of yourself that Jaemin had always known.

You started wearing clothes that you knew Jeno would like—more fashionable, more polished. You dyed your hair blonde and even started wearing red lipstick too.

Jaemin noticed the changes. He’d watched you, his best friend, slowly morph into someone else—the someone Jeno would want, but the someone you weren’t. And it hurt.

One afternoon, you were getting ready to go out to another one of Jeno’s hangouts. You stood in front of Jaemin’s mirror, touching up your red lipstick while he watched you in silence. Finally, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Y/N, can we talk?”

You glanced at him in the mirror, not fully focusing on his words. “Sure.”

“What’s this?” Jaemin asked, gesturing to the transformation with a sweeping motion.

“What’s what?” You were confused, still busy perfecting your lipstick.

“This” Jaemin repeated, his voice a little louder now. “The hair, the clothes, the parties—you’re not the same person anymore. You hate bold lipstick colors!”

You shrugged, applying the final coat of lipstick. “Oh, but Jeno likes it.”

The words hung in the air, and Jaemin visibly flinched. His expression shifted, his eyes clouded with hurt. “Why does it feel like I’m losing you?” he murmured, more to himself than to you.

But you didn’t respond. You didn’t know what to say. You were too busy watching Jeno, the boy you wanted.

That night, when Jeno finally noticed you the way you’d always hoped he would, Jaemin stood on the sidelines. He watched quietly, his heart sinking deeper as you slipped further away from him.

As the days passed, your relationship with Jeno, on the surface, seemed perfect. You went out on dates, spent time together in lavish places, and everyone around you admired how "ideal" the two of you were. But with each passing moment, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling deep in your chest, the one that whispered something’s not right.

Jeno, with his effortless charm and undeniable affection, was everything you thought you wanted, yet when you were with him, your mind would drift. You would catch yourself thinking about Jaemin—the way his presence brought a sense of calm, the way he always seemed to understand you without saying a word.

As the Friday nights turned into elegant dinners and crowded parties that weren’t quite your style, the memories of those simple movie nights with Jaemin, full of laughter and familiarity, started to feel like a lifetime ago. You hadn’t realized how much you missed them until it was too late. Jeno's world was exciting, but it was a world where you couldn’t always be yourself.

And so, you felt trapped. You loved Jeno, or at least you thought you did. But why did it feel like you were losing a piece of yourself every time you changed for him?

You tried to push it away—told yourself you should be happy. You had Jeno. He was everything you ever thought you wanted. But your heart wasn’t on the same page. Why did you still want to talk to Jaemin when you were sad, when you felt alone? Why, when you looked at your bedside table, did that photo of the two of you get your attention even when your boyfriend was right next to you? Why did you wish it was him laying beside you instead of Jeno?

It didn’t make sense. You had the attention you’d always craved, the validation, the relationship you’d fought for, but somehow... it felt hollow. You wanted to scream, to pull at the pieces of yourself that felt lost between the two of them.

You should’ve been happy. Why weren’t you?

----

Then the inevitable happened. Jeno and you had your first fight.

It wasn’t anything major, just a disagreement that spiraled out of control. You fought about something silly, but when his voice rose and he grew frustrated, something inside of you broke. For the first time, you saw the same tension you had witnessed at home. The yelling, the frustration, the way your parents had always argued when things went wrong.

It made you feel suffocated. Just like that day years ago. The day you ran away from home.

*FLASHBACK*

It was one of those nights where the air felt heavy, suffocating. The usual quiet of the house was shattered by the sound of raised voices—your parents. You had heard them argue before, but tonight felt different, louder, more desperate.

“I’m sick of this!” your mother shouted, the strain of her voice cutting through the walls. “I’m sick of you treating me like this, of everything we’ve become!”

Your father’s voice came back, sharp and defensive. “What do you want me to do? I’m trying my best! Do you think I’m not tired of this too?”

You sat on your bed, your heart racing, squeezing your eyes shut, hoping that if you just stayed quiet, it would stop. You wished for peace, for silence, but it didn’t come. The fighting only escalated, becoming uglier with each word.

“I don’t want to do this anymore!” your mother’s voice cracked with frustration. “I don’t want to keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not! You don’t care about me or this family anymore!”

“I care!” Your father’s voice boomed through the house. “I’ve been holding this family together, working, providing. And you just sit there and criticize me every chance you get!”

And then, you heard it. The word you dreaded most.

“I want a divorce!” Your mother screamed, the final blow.

“Y/N will stay with me!” Your father snapped back, trying to claim ownership over something you felt you had no say in.

“No! She’ll stay with me!” your mother insisted, her voice full of hurt and anger.

The sound of your name, spoken like a pawn in their war, broke you. You couldn’t stand it anymore. You didn’t care about the rain, the cold—everything just felt wrong. You needed to get away, to escape the suffocating air inside the house. You put on your shoes without thinking, ran past the door, and out into the storm.

The rain hit you hard as you ran through the streets, your legs aching from the effort, but you didn’t care. You had to leave. The cold felt almost comforting, numbing the pain that twisted inside of you.

It wasn’t long before Jaemin found you. You didn’t know how, or when, but you felt a soft tap on your shoulder and looked up to see him standing there, umbrella in hand, his concerned eyes searching yours.

“Y/N?” Jaemin’s voice was calm, but there was an undeniable worry in it. “What are you doing out here in the rain? You’ll catch a cold.”

You didn’t respond, your mind too clouded by the chaos you’d just run from. Jaemin didn’t push. Instead, he opened his umbrella wider and stepped closer to you, giving you his jacket without a word.

He sat down next to you, his presence quiet but grounding. There was no rush to fix things, no pressure to explain. He just let you be.

For a long time, neither of you said anything. The rain continued to fall around you, the only sound in the world. Jaemin broke the silence, his voice soft but knowing.

“It’s raining a lot lately” He wasn’t really talking about the rain. He was talking about everything—your parents, the fight, the storm inside your head and the way he found you crying in the middle of the street.

You took a deep breath, finally breaking your silence. “I hate the weather” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the rain.

Jaemin’s eyes softened. “I hate the weather too” he replied, his words holding more meaning than just a shared distaste for the rain. It was the quiet understanding between the two of you, the unspoken comfort.

Jaemin didn’t leave your side, not until you felt like you could breathe again.

When you were ready, he helped you back to your feet and led you back to your parents’ house.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

The rain was pouring down as you stepped outside, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t care about the weather, about the cold, or about getting wet. All you could feel was the weight on your chest, the pressure to be something you weren’t, to be the perfect version of yourself for Jeno.

You ran, just like you had all those years ago. Running from the noise, from the suffocation, from the fight that reminded you of everything that had been broken in your life.

You didn’t even notice where your feet were taking you. You just wanted to escape.

Meanwhile, Jeno was desperate. He’d searched everywhere but couldn’t find you. His last resort was calling the one person who always seemed to know where you’d be—Jaemin.

“Jaemin” Jeno’s voice cracked over the phone, “Y/N’s gone. We had a fight, and she ran off. Do you know where she might be?”

Jaemin’s heart sank. He didn’t need to think twice. “I’ll find her” he said firmly, hanging up and grabbing his car keys.

He knew exactly where you were.

----

When you found yourself standing on that familiar side street, drenched and shivering, you sank to the ground. The world felt too heavy, and you didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. You just wanted to disappear, to forget about everything—Jeno, the changes you’d made, the fight.

But then, like before, someone appeared.

Jaemin.

He had found you again, it was like stepping into a memory.

“Y/N” Jaemin said softly, rushing to your side and holding an umbrella over your head, just like he had years ago. “What are you doing out here in the rain? You’re not even wearing a jacket. You’ll catch a cold.”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. You just sat there, too exhausted to move. Jaemin slipped his jacket off and draped it over you, sitting down beside you in silence.

And for the first time in weeks, you didn’t feel alone. You didn’t feel suffocated.

“Some things never change, huh?” Jaemin said, breaking the silence softly.

You looked at him, your heart aching as the rain soaked you both. “I hate the weather” you said, your voice barely audible.

Jaemin’s eyes softened as he replied, “I hate the weather too.”

For a while, you just sat there, both of you seeking comfort in the quiet, in the simple act of being there for each other.

Jaemin brought you back to your apartment, helping you inside with quiet care. When the door opened, Jeno was waiting. His eyes widened at the sight of you—soaked and shivering, wrapped in Jaemin’s jacket.

“Y/N!” he rushed over, his hands cupping your face. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You didn’t respond. You pulled away gently, muttering, “I need a shower” before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jeno watched you leave, his expression a mix of guilt and confusion. When he turned back, he found Jaemin standing by the door.

“I don’t know what happened” Jeno confessed, his voice full of worry. “I didn’t mean to upset her. I just…”

“I think you should give her some space” Jaemin said quietly. His tone wasn’t accusatory, just… resigned.

Jeno nodded, though his face tightened. “Thanks for bringing her back.”

Jaemin didn’t reply. He just nodded, his gaze lingering on the closed bathroom door for a moment before he left.

While under the hot spray of the shower, you let the tears fall freely. You had everything you thought you wanted—Jeno, the perfect boyfriend, the dream relationship.

But as you stood there, your heart ached. Not for the boy waiting for you in the other room.

For the one who had found you in the rain.

For the one who had always found you.

----

The weeks after weren’t easy. A crack opened in your relationship with Jeno, and you began to pull away, unsure of what to say or how to explain the distance that was growing between you both. Jeno noticed, of course, but every time he asked, you brushed him off with excuses. The truth was, you weren’t sure how to explain the whirlwind of emotions inside you, or how to face the growing realization that your heart was no longer with him.

One cold night, Jaemin found you in front of his house, looking utterly broken.

“Y/N?” he asked softly, his voice full of concern. Without waiting for you to say a word, he pulled you into his arms. At first, you couldn’t even speak. The flood of emotions you had been keeping inside for weeks came pouring out. You started to cry in his embrace, shaking with the weight of it all.

Jaemin held you tighter, never letting go, whispering comforting words as you cried. He didn’t ask questions, just let you let it all out, feeling the raw emotion that you had carried for so long. When your sobs slowed down, he pulled back slightly, still holding you gently.

“Here” he said, handing you a steaming mug of hot chocolate—the one thing that always made you feel a little better when life felt too heavy. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to you.

You took a sip, trying to steady your breathing, but it didn’t make the confusion inside you go away. Jaemin sat beside you, watching you silently. After a while, he asked quietly, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

You hesitated, unsure if you had the strength to put it into words. But somehow, in his presence, it felt like you could say anything.

“I... I feel so lost” you whispered, the tears threatening to return. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I should be happy, but it’s like something inside me is telling me I’m not. I’m with Jeno, but... It doesn’t feel right, but I don’t know how to fix it.”

Jaemin didn’t say anything for a moment. His hand reached out, and he gently stroked your hair, his touch soft and comforting. “It’s okay” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “You’re going to be okay. Let it out. I’m here.”

The warmth of his words settled over you, but it was the closeness, the way he held you, that made everything else fade away. In that moment, everything felt like it finally made sense. You weren’t alone in this. You hadn’t been alone for a long time, but you had been too scared to admit it.

And in that silence, surrounded by his presence, the truth spilled from your lips.

“I— I’ve been trying so hard to make things work with Jeno, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I know it’s wrong, but it’s like... my heart is telling me that you’re the one I’ve always wanted. Not him. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

Jaemin’s breath caught at your words, his gaze locking onto yours. He seemed surprised, but there was a sadness in his eyes, a softness that made your heart ache even more.

“Y/N” he began, his voice gentle but filled with emotion. “I’ve always loved you. You were just too obvious about it. Why do you think I’m still single, even when you know there are so many girls after me? I’ve always wanted you.”

The confession hung in the air, filling the space between you with a weight you couldn’t ignore. You wanted to lean in, to close the distance and let everything out, but something held you back. The reality of your relationship with Jeno, the guilt, the fear of what this would mean, kept you frozen.

Jaemin leaned in slightly, his lips on your forehead“i want to kiss but I can’t... you’re still with him.”

Your heart clenched at the words. You knew he was right, but it didn’t make the truth any easier to accept.

“I know” you whispered, your voice shaky. “But I’m going to break up with him soon. I can’t keep lying to myself. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help how I feel.”

Jaemin’s gaze softened, and for a moment, the tension was almost unbearable. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes held everything—everything you had both been too scared to admit until now.

The lingering words between you both pulled you closer, and for the first time in weeks, you felt like you could finally breathe.

But Jaemin, with all his care for you, took a step back, his expression full of understanding. "Whenever you're ready, Y/N," he said quietly, "I'll be here. But you need to figure this out... for yourself."

And you realized in that moment, the hardest part wasn't admitting how you felt—it was knowing what you had to do next.

----

The day after your conversation with Jaemin, you invited Jeno over. It was time to be honest. Time to confront everything that had built up between you two, to explain how you had changed, how you had tried to mold yourself into the version of you that you thought he wanted.

Jeno sat across from you, his eyes filled with a mix of confusion and hurt as he waited for you to speak. You took a deep breath before you started.

“Jeno, I... I’ve been pretending. I changed for you, thinking that this was what I had to do to get your attention,” you said, your voice trembling a little. “The hair, the clothes, the way I acted. It wasn’t me. It was just... a version of me that I thought you’d like.”

Jeno’s gaze softened, but there was disbelief in his eyes. “So I always loved a version of you that you created?” he asked quietly, his voice holding a tinge of sadness.

You nodded, unable to look him in the eye. “I thought that’s what I had to do to make things work with you.”

There was a long silence between you two as he processed your words. His fingers twitched slightly, as if he wanted to reach out to you but didn’t know how.

“But I don’t think that’s entirely true” Jeno said after a moment, his voice gentle yet firm. “I think there were a lot of times when you were just... you. The real you.”

You looked up at him, the weight of his words sinking in. “That could be true” you whispered, your heart pounding. "But I didn’t know how to balance it. I thought I had to change to fit into this perfect image of what I thought you wanted."

Jeno’s expression grew more serious, his brow furrowing slightly. “But I won’t lie. I’m hurt, Y/N. I’m hurt that you felt like you had to change to get me to notice you.” His voice trembled with a mix of frustration and sadness. “I thought we were already fine just being ourselves around each other. I never needed that perfect version of you. I just needed you.”

The confession hit you harder than you expected. You hadn’t realized how deeply your attempts to change had affected him, how much he had cared for the person you were beneath the surface.

“I’m sorry” you whispered, your heart aching for him. “I never meant to hurt you. I just... I didn’t know what to do. I was confused.”

Jeno sighed, looking down for a moment, before meeting your eyes again. “I understand that you were confused, but it doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard, Y/N. I thought we had something real, but now I’m wondering if I was just falling in love with a version of you that wasn’t even... you.”

His words stung, but there was an honesty to them that you couldn’t ignore. You wanted to reach out to him, to apologize again, but the words didn’t come.

“I think we both need to take a step back and figure things out” Jeno said softly, standing up from the couch. “I need time to process all of this... and so do you.”

You nodded slowly, feeling the weight of the situation press down on you. “Yeah... I think that’s the best thing to do.”

Jeno hesitated for a moment, his eyes lingering on you as if he wanted to say something else, but he just shook his head and walked toward the door. “Take care of yourself, Y/N” he said quietly before stepping outside, leaving you alone with the mess of emotions swirling inside.

You couldn’t help but feel like you had lost something important, but at the same time, you knew that it was the right thing to do.

-----

Seven months had passed since that moment, and in those months, you had done a lot of healing. After taking some time to yourself, focusing on finding out who you were without anyone else’s expectations weighing you down, you found the courage to follow your heart. And it led you to Jaemin.

You and Jaemin had been inseparable ever since you began dating, and eventually, it just made sense for you to live together. It was as if you'd been living with each other in spirit long before the move—always crashing at one another’s places, always finding comfort in each other’s presence.

Jaemin had been the one to convince you to adopt three cats—Luna, Lucy, and Luke—and you were honestly grateful. The apartment had become your little haven, complete with furry companions who brought so much life and joy into your days. The sound of purring had become one of your favorite melodies.

As you were preparing dinner one evening, you felt the familiar warmth of arms wrapping around you from behind. You couldn’t help but smile, already knowing who it was.

“Smells good.Do you need help?” Jaemin’s voice was soft, his breath warm against your ear.

You placed a hand on top of his, squeezing it lightly as you continued to chop the vegetables. “It’ll taste even better once it’s done” you said, a playful tone lacing your words. "You’ve been working hard today, haven’t you?"

Jaemin leaned in closer, resting his chin on your shoulder. "Not nearly as hard as you” he replied, his voice filled with admiration. "But I’m always happy to help, especially if it means being with you."

You let out a soft laugh, turning your head slightly to meet his gaze. "I’m glad you’re here” you whispered, feeling a warmth spread across your chest. "I wouldn’t want anyone else with me."

Jaemin’s smile softened, and he kissed your cheek gently. He looked at you with so much affection, as if the years you had spent together and all the feelings he'd kept inside were finally making sense. "I always knew you were the one” he murmured, his voice full of certainty. "I just didn’t know how long it would take for you to realize it, too."

Your heart fluttered at his words, and you rested your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a moment. "I feel the same way” you said softly. "It took time, but I know now."

Jaemin pulled you into a tight hug, his warmth surrounding you as he whispered, "We’ve made it through everything, Y/N. And now, it’s just us, always."

It had taken time to get here, but now, everything felt right. The past was behind you, and the future, with Jaemin by your side, seemed full of endless possibilities. The love you shared was a quiet kind of happiness, built on trust, understanding, and shared moments that made everything feel so effortless.

No more doubts, no more pretending. Just you, Jaemin, and your three cats in your little world, exactly where you were meant to be.

"I wouldn't change this for anything in the world” you whispered, your hand finding his once again, squeezing it tightly.

Jaemin’s voice was steady and full of affection as he replied, "Neither would I, Y/N. Neither would I."

[thisischeri]

iPod Classic, 1st through 7th generation, 2001-2014

ig: cheri.png

[amelia-yap]

Hi, how is college fairing?

it's been a little frustrating but otherwise mostly alright, thanks for asking! hope you're having a nice dayyy

[emily-mooon]

Here’s a little wip I’ve been working on in between my homework!

Yes I am making a genderbent Jonathan design. I have a vision for her I must get out into the world or else I will (figuratively) explode

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[kath-artic]

wowowow.... im the luckiest person alive rn

[crescentfool]

i think loving things is a great thing!!! yay!!!! i just got hit with happy beams!! and you get happy beams too!!!

[7-oh-ta1]

Me looking myself being scheduled on the day I asked off: 😐

[yoshistory]

Had a bad day at work today ... x__x...