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#look I tried eating breakfast and it didn't do shit to stop binging as I just ate the same amount of food anyway
sirnica · 8 months
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Not eating anything until like 4:30 pm.
Stuffing your face with half of your kitchen.
Going to bed at 8pm so you can't eat anything else.
Follow me for more health and fitness advice 🍅🥕🥬🥒🥗
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Stickronpa Chapter 1 - Daily Life
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Day 1
*DING DONG BING BONG*
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Monostick:"Oh! Are you all listening? Excellent! Good morning participants! It's now 7 am! Time to get up from your petty dreams and seize the day when you can!!"
-...-
-.....-
-....Hun?-
-I... I was in a room... It was pretty generic, except for the art supplies they had on the desk and shelves...-
Second:"How did I-"
-I quickly remembered... The killing game... I must have passed out... If that's the case, one of my friends must have brought me here...-
Second:"So this place has rooms..? Weird..."
-Ahrg... My head... It hurts again...-
-I got out of bed staggering... My legs weren't calm... They were shaky...-
-I sighed and sat on the bed... My head was full of heavy and frightening thoughts... I felt the sweat run down my face and my knees were knocking with the shakes...-
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Purple:"Second?"
Second:"P-purple!? Is that you??"
-I tried to get up again only to lose my balance and fall.-
Second:"AARG!!"
Purple:"Second!!"
-They enter my room lightly, seeing me slumped on the bedroom floor. I felt embarrassed...-
Purple:"Sec, are you okay??"
Second:"Y-yes... My legs that suck today..."
-Purple laughs softly.-
Purple:"Okay, the others are already at the cafeteria, Blue made breakfast with Night and Chosen..."
-They help me to walk better, along the way they hold my hand, I feel my face blush a little...-
-We left my room, we were in a hallway full of other rooms, on the doors there were pictures with our colors and names. Makes sense, some of us had similar colors.-
-Purple leads me to the coffee pot where the others were.-
Green:"Second! I was worried!"
-Green ran up to me as soon as he saw me and started checking me out.-
Blue:"You passed out yesterday, so Green and this Chosen guy kind of took you to his room."
Second:"Chosen helped me...?"
-I looked at him, who was at a table farther away with Dark.-
-Blue put out a plate of food for me, I was hungry, so nothing better than Blue's food to make me feel full! I love his food! I start to eat and I can't stop!-
Second:"Delicious as always!"
Blue:"Hehe, I know!"
-I looked around, all I could see were Night, Freedom, Som-bra, my friends, Chosen and Dark and Smoke... The others, including Orange, weren't here...-
Second:"Where is everybody?"
Yellow:"I believe that even the quarters of them, I can't blame them, half of them didn't seem to trust each other very much..."
Red:"I mean... we're stuck in a place we don't even know what it is, and this Monostick is forcing us to kill each other..."
-As I said that, I felt my nails scratching the table hard, it hurt a little...-
Green:"Let's not panic! They don't have to be afraid of us! We are friends, we can face a lot together!"
Dark:"hump..."
-Dark laughs to himself, this seems to annoy Chosen...-
Dusk:"You are very naive, what we can do now is just investigate..."
-Everyone looks at Dusk who has just entered the cafeteria.-
Blue:"Good Morning to you too!"
Dusk:"anyway, we should be investigating right now... don't you understand the situation we're in right now?"
-We all shut up... They were right... Not one of us knows what to do... Are we really stuck...? No one is looking for us?? Why are we here???-
Green:"Sec..?"
-Green placed his hand over mine... I noticed I was sweating a lot...-
Dusk:"Chosen, Smoke and Night, you will investigate with me, Blue, Green and Second Dog together, Dark-"
Dark:"I'm not going to investigate shit!"
-He gets up and leaves the coffee maker.-
Chosen:*Sigh* "I'm sorry about that... I'll talk to him later..."
Dusk:"No need, the rest can investigate together. Finish eating and start..."
Yellow:"Won't you eat too?"
Dusk:"...."
-They look at us...-
Dusk:"I don't need food..."
-They leave the coffee maker without saying anything else... How strange...-
-we all finished Eating in silence, and soon after that we decided to follow what they said and investigate.-
-Me, Green and Blue decided to investigate the surroundings, between the main hall we found What looked like a staircase but...-
Second:"Why do these stairs have a metal railing...?"
Blue:"I have no idea..."
-Blue was going to Touch the Grid but then...-
Monostick:"Don't even try!!! These grids are charged by electricity!! If you touch, ZAP!!! you are electrocuted!!! I want you to kill each other, not die by accident!!!"
Blue:"What the fuck – where did you come from???"
Monostick:"I can appear everywhere!! Here, there, under your shoe!! I am everywhere, and nowhere! And I can see everything too!!"
Green:"It's ok! But why does this staircase have an electric grid?"
Monostick:"Simple! To limit your arias! Only if a murder happens will these arias be opened to you!"
Second:"D-again this... Why are you doing this to us??? What did we do for you??? We don't even know you!!"
Monostick:"blah blah blah! I won't say anything you bunch of suckers!!"
Blue:"I WILL SHOW YOU THE SUCKER YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"
-Me and Green hold Blue so he doesn't attack Monostick.-
Monostick:"You brute!! Don't you remember the rules??"
-Rules..?-
Green:"Blue!! Aggression against Monostick is strictly prohibited!! You might end up dying!!"
-I paralyzed and unintentionally released him....-
Blue:"Sec!?"
-Blue seems to forget his anger after seeing me in shock....-
-No no no no!! I don't want him to die!!-
Monostick:"hihihi!! Exactly!! You had passed out so you must not have heard from your Monopads!"
Second:"m-monopad..?"
-As soon as I spoke, a BING came out of my pocket...-
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- "Rules: 1•Every 10pm is bedtime, sleeping outside the rooms is strictly prohibited. morning time starts at 7 am
2•destruction of property is strictly prohibited.
3•aggression against Monostick is strictly prohibited.
if these rules are broken, a punishment will be given!"-
-Was that the rules??-
-I clicked on the Monostick icon, there was more! Rules about the killing game...-
-"1• Only two murders are allowed. If more than one murderer, only the first murder counts and the second is ignored.
2•A body discovery announcement will play when three or more people find a body.
3•You would have half an hour to investigate the crime scene, all doors will be unlocked during the investigation.
4•After the investigation you will be taken to the Trial Ground, Which you remaining survivors must find out who the killer is.
5•After everything is resolved, a vote will be taken, if they vote for the right person, the killer will be executed, if they vote for the wrong one everyone but the killer will be executed and the killer will be able to leave."-
Second:"What.... What the fuck!? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!??"
Blue:"I asked the same thing Sec..."
Second:"N-there's no way anyone can do that!! Nobody would do that!!! Nobody!! N-nobody... No.. nob-body..."
-My voice was shaky and my hands were almost dropping the Monopad...-
Monostick:"Hey!! Hold it right!!! This is expensive!!"
Green:"Second..? It's OK..?"
Second:"N-nobody... N-nobody... Hehe....*sniff*... Nobody...*sniff*"
-I didn't realize I was crying... Green took my hand and put my Monopad in my pocket again... He hugged me tight trying to calm me down... I could feel his hands patting my back...-
Green:"It's going to be okay Sec... It's going to be okay..."
Monostick:"Argh! Disgusting!! Affection!! yuck!!! Go fuck yourself somewhere else, not in front of me you freaks!!!"
Blue:"What did you say your–"
-Before Blue could say anything, Monostick was already gone...-
Blue:"Motherfucker..."
-Blue grunted, he looks at me with a worried look. Amazing how he changes his mood so fast...-
Blue:"Sec... You'll be fine, won't you...?"
Second:"II... I don't... I don't know... *sniff*"
-My voice cracked again... I... I need to stop crying! I don't want to look... Weak...-
Green:"I'll take you to your room ok? You need some time to calm down..."
Second:"y-yeh..."
-Blue and Green take me back to my room, I just sat on my bed looking at my shaking hands...-
-I must have checked Monopad over a million times... I still can't believe it...-
-*sight*-
-I lay in bed staring at the ceiling for half an hour...-
Second:"Well... I have a lot of free time now... I think I should talk to someone to reassure me a little..."
-I get up from the bed and leave the room. Who should I hang out with?-
-I decided to look for him. And I found him in the living room!-
Second:"Hey Red!"
Red:"Hi Sec! How... How are you...?-
Second:"hun?"
Red:"I saw Blue and Green taking you to your room and you looked... restless... I asked what it was and they said you weren't feeling very well and went to rest..."
Second:"O-oh... I... Yeah, I don't feel too well but I'll be fine!"
-I try to crack a smile but I don't think he found it very genuine...-
Second:"Can we... Can we talk...?"
Red:"Yes, come here!"
-He makes a space on the couch for me to sit. I sit next to him and we talk for half an hour, he couldn't stop talking about how much he missed his animals.-
Red:"Sec, are you really okay?"
Second:"To be honest... Not really...-
Red:"Ah... Are you scared...?"
-I try to hide it but I guess I'm horrible at it...-
Red:"You are..."
-I sigh and just nod..-
Red:"Me too but... But when I'm scared I try to think of positive things! Like playing in the mud with Ruben!"
-I smile a little, Ruben was his favorite animal...-
Red:"I... I'm a little worried about him... Pigs aren't the smartest animals... But he's very smart!"
Second:"Yes... I know very well that for a little pig, he is very smart..."
Red:"Yea! I love him!"
-The smile on Red's face warms and breaks my heart at the same time...-
Red:"We're going to go home right...?"
-Shit... I don't know what to say....-
Second:"A-ah... Y-yes! We... We will, buddy..."
-I put my hand on his shoulder and he smiles.-
Red:"Sec... You don't have to lie to make me feel safe..."
-He wraps his arms around me.-
Red:"I already feel safe with you guys with me!"
-I blush a little and smile hugging him back. I promise we'll get out of this hell... I promise Red...-
-we say goodbye and I leave the living room. Me and Red got closer today.-
-I still have free time, who else can I talk to?-
-I end up bumping into Night who was reading a book.-
Night:"Oh, sorry buddy! Second huh?"
Second:"Oh yes, my name is Second!"
Night:"Good to know, hey, I kind of saw your friends with you, okay? Need a glass of water?"
-Again with that sister vibe...-
Second:"No no... I just want to talk to someone...-
Night:"Excellent! Come, I'll make you a snack and we'll talk!"
-He took my wrist and pulled me over to the cafeteria where she made us some sandwiches. They were delicious!-
Night:"So how long have you known your friends?"
Second:"After a few years, I know them when they were created by my creator Alan."
Night:"Oh! You are a creation! Well I got this vibe from you, Chosen and Dark!"
Second:"We... Kind of were created by him.... I was an accident, he didn't want to make another living stick figure since the last time... Dark and Chosen destroyed his computer..."
Night:"Oh, it must have been scary for him..."
Second:"Yeah... Well, as soon as he found me he... H-he tried to delete me..."
-My hands were shaking again... I don't like to think about it... Alan is my friend and I don't like to think that this was our first interaction...-
Night:"Oh..."
Second:"I... I can't blame him... And also I was an asshole to him right away... Trying to ruin his reputation on his Facebook... I was angry that he had deleted my friends... B-But then he brought them back in exchange for me helping him get better at animation... Since then we've been great friends!"
Night:"That must be a lot, hun?"
Second:"That was a long time ago... Now I kind of live on his PC with my friends... We play Minecraft and League of Legends and talk about pokémon! Hahaha, once I even got into one of the pokémon games! I became the champion of Johto!"
-She seemed to like my stories, she was a good listener.-
Second:"But and you? Why are you a spy?"
Night:*sight*"I kind of just turned into one... Before that I was more of a Keeper..."
Second:"Guardian of what?"
Night:"My brother... For many years I was trained to take care of him so when he grew up I would protect him... He's not really my brother... But I see him like that..."
-He seems very important to her...-
Night:"I'm worried about him... He's very special... And... He's always in danger... He was born with a power that can be used for evil... My life goal was to protect him... Being a spy or rather a guardian agent I guess would be a better title is only secondary, I was chosen to be a spy because of my physical and mental abilities."
Second:"cool..."
Night:"Nah, it's very annoying... At least I always know if he was okay... But now I can't and it makes me worried..."
-She was head down...-
Night:"If it wasn't for this idiot killing game... I'd already be trying to run away... But I don't want to leave either of you alone either... Especially you and your friends..."
-She smiled at me... That made me feel a little more relaxed, she's definitely really nice...-
Night:"Finally, it's getting late Sec, we better go.... Can I call you Sec right?"
Second:"Sure! I don't see a problem with that Night!"
-We separate, she takes the dishes to the kitchen to wash them and I head back to my room. Me and Night got a little close today.-
*DING DONG BING BONG*
-I look at a monitor in the corner of the hallway.-
Monostick:"Good night participants! It is now 10 pm! Time to sleep before someone stabs you in the back!"
-Again that feeling of discomfort. I feel a pain in my chest, holding my shirt tightly...-
Yellow:"Sec..?"
-I felt her hand on my shoulder and I almost jumped.-
Second:Y-Yellow! You scared me..."
Yellow:"Are you ok Sec..? Blue told me what she hears... I'm worried about you..."
Second:"No need Yell... I'll be fine ok..? Better go to sleep..."
-I yawn and go to my room. I look back and see her go to what appears to be Blue's. I smile, not surprise at that..-
-I go to my bed and lay my head on the pillow... Rolling over in bed for I don't know how much longer until I sleep... This discomfort, this uncertainty... This fear... I don't want to die... I don't want my friends to die.... I want to get out of here.... Inhale and Exhale... try to calm down Sec... Take a deep breath... Close your eyes... Sleep... Sleep...... Sleep....-
-....-
-.........-
Day 2
*DING DONG BING BONG*
Monostick:"Good morning participants! It's now 7 am! Time to get up from your petty dreams and seize the day when you can!!"
-...-
-Is this really going to be the morning announcement..? Ahrrg...-
-I get up feeling discomfort in my back, This bed is rubbish...-
-I get up and put on my coat, I open the door to find Purple already in front of it.-
Purple:"ah! Sec! Are you awake! What a relief..."
-They looked relieved to see me.-
Second:"Good morning Purp, how are you?"
Purple:"I'm doing fine, the others are already at the cafeteria, I came for you..."
Second:"Okay, I'm on my way to Purp..."
-I smile and go with them to the coffee maker, I was surprised there were more people there.-
Second:"Apparently more people decided to leave their rooms today..."
Dark:"and what was that supposed to mean...?"
Second:"It's not meant to mean anything! I'm just glad everyone is together trying to fit in..."
Eraser:"Ha!! Don't make me laugh dear, are you stupid or just naive..?"
-I felt myself watching, I covered myself with my hood.-
Blue:"Cut it out!! You are making them uncomfortable!!"
-Everyone stops looking at me... I hate being staring... I just held my hoodie not wanting to take it off... I was embarrassed, and afraid of being judged....-
Red:"Nobody will talk bad about you, You are amazing Sec! Remember this!"
-Red's smile made me a little more comfortable... But I didn't want to take my hood off yet...-
-After half an hour, I'm playing with a spoon on my table, Red, Blue and Night are washing the dishes, Green is keeping me company and Yellow is going to talk to Professor Smoke.I can see MT across the room staring at White's desk... What's their story...?-
-I see Chosen and Dusk talking at the entrance, what are they talking about..? My table is close to the entrance, I think I can hear a little...-
Chosen:"And what did you find?"
Dusk:"Nothing yet... I'm still investigating, but without even a way to investigate the other floors, I can't go any further..."
Chosen:"Shit... We have to find a way out... At least without having to kill anyone..."
Dusk:"Yea..."
-I wasn't sure what they were doing, I was bored... Thoughtful... I wasn't sure what to think...-
-White got up from her table and left the cafeteria, then MT got up and followed her... They sure have a story...-
-Me and Green decided to leave the cafeteria but...-
Chosen:"Second, I'd like to investigate a bit with you. Me, you and Dusk!"
-I looked at them and at Green.-
Green:*Sigh*"You can talk to them..."
-He stares at Chosen with a suspicious look And walked away waving at me...-
Second:"What do you want to talk about?"
Chosen:"We want to dig a little deeper... Dusk is making a list of things we've found and I'm sharing what I've found."
Dusk:"Did you discover something useful yesterday with your friends?"
-I paused... I... I didn't get very far in the investigation...-
Second:"I-I... We just found out about some electrical grids on the stairs to the next floors... We are forbidden to pass until... U-until...."
-I paused again!! Shit!!-
Chosen:"Until a murder happens... Shit..."
Dusk:"Hmm..."
-Dusk pulls out a large folded paper from their pocket.-
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Second:"Is that a map..?"
Dusk:"I've already looked at all these places... In fact the stairs are blocked..."
Second:"There has to be a way out of here..."
Chosen:"And we'll find out soon!"
Second:"y-yeh..."
-I was still unsure about it...-
Second:"Why... Why are you sharing this with me...?"
Chosen:"I..."
-He pauses for a long time, I raise a curious eyebrow...-
Chosen:"I just thought you should know, I know you want to hang out with your friends more than anyone else! Investigating would be a good way to do that! You can call them too, we all need work Together..."
-I'm not sure about his intentions... But I could feel that he was being sincere...-
Second:*Sigh*"ok... I'll think about it..."
-I say goodbye to them and go to my room.-
-I have a little free time but who should I spend my time with..?-
-I decided to leave my room and knocked on Green's door. He opens the door and greets me with a smile.-
Green:"Sec!"
-He had his headphones on and holding an electric keyboard. I guess he was playing music.-
Second:"hei, Sorry if I'm bothering you..."
Green:"No, no! Come in, Sec!"
-He made way for me to enter. His room was full of instruments and music records stuck on the wall.-
Green:"Are you feeling better Sec..?"
Second:"Ah... a little..."
-Well, I was more comfortable around him... I sat on his bed and he sits on the corner of the bed.-
Green:"So, what did you come here for?"
Second:"Just talk."
Green:"Ah cool! I was making a song, well... That's all I can do here at the moment... But so, what do you want to talk about?"
-We spent half an hour talking about music and instruments, I definitely don't know how to handle those things...-
Second:"Hey Green... How can you put up with all this...?"
Green:"Song? Simple, I just think about what I want and–"
Second:"N-no! The killing game! How are you when you put up with all this??"
Green:"Oh..."
-A silence takes over the room...-
Green:"...I just try not to think about it... And to think on the bright side..."
Second:"What positive side?"
-I saw his face turning red when I asked about it, he was looking to the side.-
Green:"I at least still have you guys..."
-I felt my face burn, I covered my cheeks with my hands embarrassed.-
Second:"I-I... I'm also glad that at least I have you with me..."
Green:"That's great..."
-We both looked at each other for a while until we realized we were close to each other.-
Green:"A-ah... What else do you want to talk about??"
Second:"Oh a-ah..."
-I was embarrassed... I cleared my throat and started to speak.-
Second:"When... When did you start playing music?"
Green:"...."
Second:"hum?"
Green:"Me.... I started very young... Since I was a child I always liked to play music.... My father saw this and... He took advantage of my innocence.... He used me to record music that he sold to make money... Over time I lost motivation and inspiration... My music wasn't popular anymore... My father threw me on the street... I was found by an orphanage and I didn't want to fit in anymore.... Until I met Blue... And yellow... And Red.... After a long time we started to take care of each other, we learned to fight to defend ourselves and we left the orphanage when we had the chance! I hid my passion... I... I was afraid my music wasn't good anymore... I never played music with you guys until that day I saw Red, Yellow and Blue playing with their notebooks Since then I've come back to love making music..."
-I could see a happy smile coming from him... It makes me so happy for him...
Green:"That's it... That's my story..."
Second:"Green... I'm sorry this all happened..."
Green:"Don't be sorry, I'm much better now with you guys!"
-He smiles at me... My heart was light but also excited?-
Green:"Well you better go, I need to finish this song ok? Then I'll show you how it turned out!"
Second:"Yea!"
Green:"Oh, and sorry for all the times I made you sleepy, hehe..."
-I laugh, yes that's true, but I don't really care.-
Second:"It's okay Green, I can't stop you from having fun with something you love so much!"
-We both laughed. Me and Green got closer today.-
-We say goodbye and I leave his room. But you still have time to spend, but with whom?-
-I've been wandering the halls looking for someone, and I find...-
Second:"Purple's father?"
Indigo:"You? Hump..."
-He shrugged.-
Second:"Ah... What are you doing...?"
Indigo:"Wondering what my child sees in you and your little friends is so helpful.."
Second:"Okay.... Want to talk...?"
Indigo:"Arrg... Fine!"
-We keep trying to make conversation... But I don't think he likes to talk much...-
Second:"Look... Purple never told us about you... They said you were the reason they had... Aaaah....."
-Shit... I can't just say that Purple betrayed us twice and tried to destroy Minecraft!! I don't think he would't even take It seriously to be exact....-
Indigo:"hum..."
Second:"S-so... What makes you the Ultimate Champion..?"
Indigo:"I'm a fighting tournament champion... I've fought in thousands of world tournaments, I've never lost a tournament I've entered!"
Second:"cool!"
Indigo:"...."
-awkward silence...-
Indigo:"Maybe.... I lost it once... But only once!!"
Second:"W-what tournament did you lose...?"
Indigo:"It was... It was the day Purple was born...."
-I paused... You mean he lost the tournament to see Purple with their mother...?-
Indigo:"I couldn't leave her alone... I promised her... I promised her I wouldn't leave her..."
-He looked uncomfortable about it...-
Indigo:"When I got there... They were already born... They were so small... So, so small... I remember holding them in my arms and... For the first time in years, crying... It was the best day of my life..."
-I saw him crack a small smile and then it disappears...-
Indigo:"But all that is in the past.... Today I'm just...-
Second:"Happy to see Purple again..?"
-The cold stare he gave me made me shiver...-
Indigo:"Disappointed..."
-And so he left... He didn't even say goodbye...-
-I think... I think we got a little close? I don't even know...-
-I decided to go to the living room to think... There I started to hear crying... Purple??-
Second:"Purp?"
-I saw them sitting next to the sofa crying on their knees.-
Purple:"s-sec!?"
-they try to wipe away the tears, I approach them and sit next to them.-
Second:"What happened, Purple..?"
Purple:"M-my father thinks I shouldn't trust any of you... That I should stay away and not trust anyone... He thinks it's best for me not to be alone with anyone, He said any of them could kill me in seconds..."
Second:"Well... If they tried they would have to go through me!! I would never let anyone hurt you or anyone else!"
Purple:"I know... But he doesn't understand how... How kind you guys are to me... I feel more comfortable with you with me than before..."
Second:"It's good to hear that Purp... You are our friend and we care a lot about you..."
-I put my hand on their shoulder and they smile at me softly...-
Purple:"Thank you Sec... I just wish I could defend myself alone..."
Second:"Well, Red can teach you how to fight! We all can!"
Purple:"I-i don't know... I don't know if I can do this right..."
Second:"You won't know until you try!"
-I smile and hold out my hand, they stand up holding my hand and wiping away the tears.-
-We both went back to the dorms and they said goodbye to me.-
Green:"What happened?"
Second:"They were having a problem... I just talked to them and now I think they're a little better now..."
Green:"That's great..."-
Second:"yes... I wish I could help more..."
Green:"Who knows? we can have lunch together tomorrow! That would be cool and it would even lighten your head!"
-I smile at Green and he smiles at me too.-
Green:"Good night Sec, See you tomorrow!"
Second:"Night Green..."
-I wave at him and enter my room.-
*DING DONG BING BONG*
Monostick:"Good night participants! It is now 10 pm! Time to sleep before someone stabs you in the back!"
-I looked at the monitor on my wall and sighed. I need to get my friends out of here... But for now I better sleep...-
-I lay on my bed, I was really tired...-
-...-
-.....-
Day 3
*DING DONG BING BONG*
Monostick:"Good morning participants! It's now 7 am! Time to get up from your petty dreams and seize the day when you can!!"
-....-
-Another day, same thing...-
-I still feel this discomfort in my back... I got up and put my hood on again, I left my room and decided to go to the cafeteria.-
-Blue was already there making breakfast, I decided to talk to him.-
Second:"Hey Blue! Good Morning.-
Blue:"Hey Sec! How are you today? It's better now?"
Second:"A little..."
Blue:"That's good, hey want to help me with breakfast? The others haven't woken up yet."
Second:"Sure! I really need some distraction right now, making breakfast with you can be cool..."
-He smiles at me and I join him in making breakfast. Omelet, toast, orange juice, some healthy fruit, pancakes. And it all smells good! I can't cook very well and he's always the best at it!-
Blue:*Sigh*"I wish my Netherwart were still here...."
Second:"Still with this addiction?"
Blue:"I know! I just... I can't live without... As you say... it's an addiction.."
-He looks down... We worry a lot about his addiction... He keeps himself very calm but if he doesn't have enough he gets kind of... Strange sometimes...-
Blue:"I asked Monostick if they had any, and they said no... Arrg... It makes me uncomfortable... And he called me a junkie!! I'm not a junkie– Arrg!!"
-He cut his finger with a knife!-
Blue:"Shit..."
-He keeps staring at his finger muttering...-
Second:"You should be more careful with that! And no, you're not a junkie! You just have to try to control yourself..."
Blue:"I know... But... I just can't..."
-He held his finger tight... He held his hand.-
Second:"Calm down, there must be a first-aid kit somewhere..."
Blue:"Don't worry If, I'll be fine! It was just a very small cut look!"
-The cut wasn't small at all, and there was a lot of blood coming out almost staining his entire hand. Fuck, even my hand was stained with blood!-
-I took a cloth and put water on, he tried to clean the cut while Blue groaned in pain.-
-After that I'll look for some way to make this bleeding stop...-
-I tell him not to touch anything and put the knife away. I continue preparing breakfast while he waits at the table, watching his finger as the others enter the kitchen.-
-after everyone enters the kitchen I distribute the dishes to each table, I felt like a waiter hehe.-
Green:"Did you make Sec?"
Second:"I helped!"
-I gave a wink to Blue who giggles and starts to eat still feeling his finger hurt.-
Purple:"Blue, what happened?"
Bleu:"A-ah, nothing!"
Second:"He cut his finger."
Purple:"What!!??"
-And within seconds Purple grabs Blue by the wrist and pushes him out of the cafeteria with a bit of difficulty.-
Blue:"H-hey!! What are you doing!!??"
Purple:"I have first aid kits in my room, I'm going to take care of that cut right away before it gets infected!!"
-We laughed seeing the two of them leaving the cafeteria.-
-We started to eat breakfast when suddenly...-
*DING DONG BING BONG*
Monostick:"Oh! I see you're having fun and a lot Ha? Good good! Now everyone to the main hall I have a very important announcement!!!"
-We all looked confused, after eating our breakfast we headed down to the main hall. Purple and Blue arrive soon after.-
Blue:"What does this motherfucker want now...?"
Monostick:"That seems to be the way to talk to your... What's my superiority title again? This isn't a school so I can't be headmaster, and this isn't a show so I can't host... Neh, I see I'll think about it later!"
Sombra:"So why are we here...?"
Monostick:"Simple! I'm bored! Serious! Where's the kill??? Where's the blood?? You are so much peace and love to me and it makes me sick!! Because of that... I prepared a very very special motive for you, pufufufu..."
-We all looked at each other confused and nervous...-
Orange:"What... What kind of motive..?"
Monostick:"Simple! One of you is already planning a murder!!"
-My stomach twisted… I felt like throwing up and covered my mouth. Green and Yellow worry and surround me...-
Night:"Stop keeping secrets!! Just tell me who it is!!"
Monostick:"no! It would be so boring!! How about playing Russian roulette and guessing who it is?? Hahahahah!!! Good luck with that!!!"
-And just like that, he was gone...-
-Green looked at everyone in the room, everyone was in complete distrust...-
Orange:"Okay.... Confess!!"
-We looked at MT who was staring at White.-
Orange:"I know you very well CONFESS THAT YOU ARE BEHIND ALL OF THIS!!!"
Eraser:"I?? I would never do something like that! Besides, I'm not doing anything wrong! You who are accusing me without evidence!"
-She started crying realistically... Everyone stares at Orange who gets nervous and angrier with her...-
Orange:"Regardless of whether or not you have anything to do with it... I know you are planning to kill someone... I know you very well..."
Green:"How do we know it's not you?? You tried to kill us back in the day!"
Blue:"I would say that about someone else too..."
-Blue looked directly at Dark...-
Dark:"What was that supposed to mean???"
Chosen:"Control yourself Dark!!"
-Chosen was holding Dark's shoulder.-
Sombra:"Hey Freedom, would you do that to get out of here and see what It happened with the other Stick people?? I know you would, hahaha!!!"
Freedom:"Your.... And you??? I have no doubt that a shadow like you wouldn't do the same!!"
Indigo:"You all disgust me..."
-Everyone was arguing with each other... I was just too stressed... This... This was too much for me... I can't... I just can't!!-
-I felt my knees touch the ground, my heart was racing and I was hyperventilating... I felt hands on my shoulders from behind but I didn't have the courage to look who they were... I I was very restless....-
-...-
-....-
-.....-
-.... I opened my eyes... I was in my room again... I looked around only to see Blue by my side...-
Second:"I... I blacked out again...?"
Blue:"Sec! Yeah... Yeah you blacked out again dude..."
Second:"I-I just... I don't want to believe it! T-there's no way anyone would want to kill one of us!!.... R-Right..?"
Blue:*Sigh*"I don't know Sec... But hey, you're strong, I know nothing can bring you down man..."
-He smiles and punches me lightly on the shoulder. His words made me a little more comfortable and I couldn't resist smiling...-
Second:"Thanks Blue..."
Blue:"Anytime, man!"
-He leaves the room waving at me and I get up out of bed... Even though all this still makes me a little paranoid... I... I should try to lighten my head...-
-I have a little free time, maybe talking to someone will help me a little...-
-I went to the living room, and I found...-
Eraser:"I know you're there, young hollow head..."
-I almost jumped! I decided to make my public presence and enter the room a little nervous...-
Second:"H-hey, I wanted to know-"
Eraser:"You want to talk to me because you don't want to be alone, okay, maybe your company isn't so unpleasant..."
Second:"Oh, oh-okay..."
-I'm not sure if that was meant to be an insult or not...-
-I started talking to her and asking some questions but she didn't seem very interested...-
Second:"So....What's your problem with MT?"
Eraser:"Orange? Ha, He and I were very good friends! But let's just say I might have done a few things that might have made you a little suspicious..."
Second:"What did you do?"
Eraser:"I stole, lied, betrayed, nearly killed and abandoned him! That's it!"
-I... I don't know what to say...-
Second:"Why?? Why would you do that??"
Eraser:*Sigh*"Look here kid, every Stick person is born with some purpose! Especially the ones that were created! My purpose from the beginning is to be the cruelest and most unforgivable person there is! And there's no way to change that! I know your type, you think you can be a hero because you have a pure and kind heart! But I don't have it! I don't have a heart! And I feel really good!"
-Those words made me a little uncomfortable...-
Eraser:"There is! Do you think anyone can change for the better because of your little friend Purple and Orange? Woooon, you're a cutie! But there's no way to change who I am kid..."
-She stares at me even more uncomfortable....-
Second:"O-ok.... I-I'll be going then...."
Eraser:"~Bye...~"
-He opens a thin smile and I just pull away from her and start taking faster steps until I know I was far enough away from her....-
-I don't want to say we got close.... In fact I'm afraid to get closer than that....-
-Okay, I think I have more time to spend... Maybe I should talk to Dusk, I don't know them well enough...-
-They must be investigating somewhere and... Oh! I found them!-
Second:"Hey Dusk!"
Dusk:"Second Coming..."
Second:"I was thinking about talking to you... What are you doing...?"
Dusk:"Investigating..."
-He says that staring at a monitor on the wall that was turned off.-
Second:"Could you tell me more about yourself?"
Dusk:"What do you want to know about me?"
Second:"Well, if we've been staying here for a while, it's good to get to know each other better! So what do you like to do?"
Dusk:"We won't be trapped forever... I'll find a way for us to escape. And you shouldn't ask stupid questions like that..."
Second:"Stupid questions?? I just asked a question to understand you better! How stupid is that??"
Dusk:"......"
-They stare at me with an expression I've never seen before...-
Dusk:"No..... I didn't mean to be rude... I just don't know what to say about myself.... Nothing in me is necessary for our survival, I am not important and much less interesting..."
Second:"It doesn't have to be interesting for me to want to know more about you!"
-We are silent for a moment, they then sigh.-
Dusk:"Okay look, we're stuck in a place with no windows or even an exit, because we know we might as well have been kidnapped. I know you want to help everyone and protect your friends... But you can't do that forever! You are not a super hero, you are not the protagonist of a story! You're just a stick figure! That's it...."
-I was silent for a long time...-
Dusk:"Say my advice..... Trust those who have already proven you trust... But not those you've never trusted before...."
-And after that, they left...-
-I don't know how to process all this... They.... I don't know anymore....-
-I decide I won't ask any more... I don't even know if we got closer...-
-I go to my room and see Purple's door. I remembered what Green and I talked earlier and decided to knock on their door.-
-After a while they open the door, they were... Crying.? Again..?"
Second:"Purple..?"
Purple:".... I had another conversation with my father... He still doesn't want me to talk to you...."
Second:"Oh purp.... Look, I came here because I wanted to know... Do you want to have lunch with me and the others? We can make our own food! What do you think?"
Purple:"I... I don't know......"
Second:"Come on, we just want to help Purp! I think a snack with friends can help you..."
-I smile at them and extend my hand.-
Purple:*Sigh*"Ok Sec... I will... Especially since I... I enjoy your company... You are my only friends in the world and I can't see myself without you...."
-I blush a little and laugh. They hold my hand and we both go to the cafeteria together. After I've taken them I'll go get the others and it doesn't take long for us to go to the cafeteria and start making our food together.-
-We were all having fun... It was like nothing wrong was happening...-
-...-
-We sat at the table and spent half an hour telling stories and laughing at jokes and eating our snacks.-
-It was a lot of fun! I looked at Purple every now and then, they seemed more comfortable and happy. And that makes me happy...-
???:"WHAT THE FUCK!!??"
-It amazes us, whatever it was we run out of the cafeteria and into the next hallway.-
Orange:"I KNEW YOU WERE PLANNING THIS YOU BITCH!!! IT'S ALWAYS YOU!!!"
Night:"What is wrong with you!!! Arhg!!"
-Night had a bleeding arm! Red and Purple run to help her while the others try to get MT away from White who was holding a knife with some blood on the blade...-
-She... She tried... No... No no no, no one would do that.... No...-
White:"Are you still surprised?? I don't even care to get out of here! I just want to have some fun...~"
-Have fun??? Is she sick in the head?-
Chosen:"You're insane if you think you can get away with this!!"
Smoke:"And even more in public! You sure didn't think much about it..."
Orange:"I've been following her all day!! Of course I would see what she did!!"
Sombra:"Geez, for a Manipulator, you're horrible at trying to get away with attempted murder... Maybe you're desperate to get out of here...?"
Dark:"I knew it would happen sooner or later... But I thought the first victim would be one of the colorful ones!"
-he pointed at us...-
Blue:"What the hell do you mean by that???"
-It was all very chaotic... Everyone was talking for each other... I couldn't pay attention... Everything seemed so loud I couldn't hear anyone... I felt my heart speed up... I... I... I don't....-
Green:"Let's go...."
-Green took my hand and led me away from them, everyone stopped to look at him... Did he say something I didn't hear...?-
-He brought me into the living room and sat me down on the couch. I was hyperventilating a lot... My mind was a mess and I didn't know what to say at the moment...-
Green:"Sec... I'm sorry this didn't end as nice as I thought..."
-He sat next to me holding my hand...-
-I blush a little looking at him...-
Green:"You're not the only one stressed about it... I... I'm scared... Very scared... I tried to hide it but that's too much for me...."
Second:"G-Green..."
Green:"I promise, I'll find a way to get us out of here! And that way... We can be safe... Back at home.. playing Minecraft and watching videos together... Nothing will happen to us ok..?"
-He held my hands gently while looking into my eyes... I felt calmer and more comfortable with what he said...-
Red:"Green, Sec!!"
-The others enter the room together and sit next to us. Blue had brought me some tea to calm me down while Yellow stroked my back. It brought me a comfort that I don't feel when I'm alone... It was like a soft blanket that you refuse to throw away... I love them... More than anything in the world... I love them...-
Second:"But... Where's Purple...?"
Red:"They went with their father... He scares me sometimes... I don't like him very much..."
Second:".... me either...."
-We didn't do much for a long time...-
*DING DONG BING BONG*
Monostick:"Good night participants! It is now 10 pm! Time to sleep before someone stabs you in the back!"
-As soon as the nightly announcement rang, we all went to our rooms.-
Green:"Sec, are you going to be okay..?"
Second:"Yes I will I promise Green..."
-He stared at me for a few seconds before speaking.-
Green:"Go to sleep ok? I'll bring you one of my quieter songs for you to play to sleep ok?"
Second:"Okay Green, very kind of you..."
Green:"Okay, but I recommend you stay in your room and? Lock the door and don't go out, okay? I'll pass the CD to you under the door..."
Second:"Why?"
Green:"I... I don't want you to be a victim of her..."
Second:"Green...."
-I gave him a brief hug. He hugged me back and we said goodbye.-
-I locked my door and waited for him to come back with the CD.... Why is he taking so long...?-
-I spent a few minutes waiting getting pretty preoccupied and paranoid.... I don't know, I just got up and went to the office with the key when I saw the CD being passed under the door Just like he said.-
Second:"Thank you gre—"
-Before I could thank him I heard his footsteps heading back to his room... He seem agitated... I didn't care much and put the CD to play, maybe he was looking for it and went to sleep, today was very busy too...-
-The CD was calming and I felt peaceful...-
-...-
-.....-
-I ended up waking up early, I left my room still tired, I went to the bathroom when... W-what...?-
-b-blood.... There was blood on the floor!!!-
-I tried to stay calm, BUT THAT WAS BLOOD!!! I saw that there was a trail, and there was water in the shower stall, some blood on the floor....-
-I followed the path outside and down the hall between The main hall and kitchen had much more blood.... I felt like I wanted to throw up....-
*DING DONG BING BONG*
Monostick:"Good morning participants! It's now 7 am! Time to get up from your petty dreams and seize the day when you can!!"
-I ignore the morning announcement, soon I heard...-
Green:"Sec!?"
Blue:"What's it?? You look agitated and..."
-I looked at Blue, Green and Night... They seem to have noticed the blood on the floor....-
Night:"What the fuck...?"
Blue:"It looks like it goes all the way to the main hall!!"
-They run to the main hall, Green tried to comfort me, I was in Panic but... Who...? Who died??-
-I ran towards the main hall and entered along with Green.....-
-What I saw... I wish I had never seen..."
[CONTENT WARNING: Blood, Death]
[End of Chapter 1 Daily Life...]
[To be continued...]
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necroticghost · 5 months
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my experience with eating disorders as someone who recovered. maybe this could help someone understand what it can lead to.
[tw for eds + blood]
I grew up as a mid-large size kid, so comments about my weight and advice on how to change were the norm in my life. honestly, it didn't occur to me that I could actually do something about it until around 15 yo (I am 25 now, recovered for at least six years). I regret ever finding out that eating disorders are a thing. it was through a fanfic, and as the stupid kid I was back then I actually believed the romanticised content I read and that it would make others finally stop picking on me. it did not help that I met this friend who told me she also used to be my size, but that with her (detailed) tips on how to be disordered I could look like her too, and fast.
but as excited as I was to hear that my body finally looked appealing, I could barely exist anymore. and that's when I discovered that I could eat absolutely anything I could ever want (little did I know) if I made myself throw up immediately after. some calories already get absorbed into the body because there's an enzyme that breaks down glucose right through saliva lol, but I didn't know that either then.
shit went downhill from there. it started slowly, with only skipping dinner, to skipping breakfast as well, to saving all the money for lunch that I would've had at school, and soon enough I was only eating about two times a week. besides, I was exercising 2-3 hours every single day without rest. my body was in constant pain, I was extremely dizzy, couldn't focus on school or anything else really. one time I even dropped on the street when I was getting off the bus, no one helped me but that's not the point. in about a year I had gotten to the point where I was underweight, like it would hurt when I sat down, people would say they could feel my bones when they hugged me, I had no strength to get out of bed most days so exercising was impossible and yet I was still pushing myself at times. people started worrying, but I was also getting praised by everyone, saying how great I look and that I need to keep going so that I don't get fat again. they were encouraging me and saying "this is exactly how I like you!".
so I stated combining the two: not eat for a few days, then binge all day and respectively throw up all day. I'm not even going to mention the use of 5-6 laxatives at a time and they still wouldn't work, they'd only make me cry in pain. those cramps felt like hell.
I could only eat by myself, never in front of others. one day when I was left home alone I was really looking forward to having these cheese puffs with the security that I'll get rid of them from my body as soon as possible. but...
I tried, and tried and tried and tried. my face felt all hot, my head was pulsing, my throat got all painful from my nails and all the rubbing to just get that reflex already because I had lost it at that point. I was numb. I was numb to salt, to vinegar, to any disgusting thing, nothing really made me throw up anymore. so I was hanging my head above the toilet contracting my stomach and pressing down hard on it and had my fingers deep down my throat for like twenty minutes with no result.
after all, I did get something out of it.
a fuckton of blood.
it kept coming out of my nose and mouth, like it simply wouldn't stop. I ran out of the bathroom but I just fell to the floor on the hallway. my shirt was bloody, so were my hands, it even got on the carpet. I soaked so many tissues in blood until I finally found a bag that I could spit into, and by that time I had lost all energy and just laid on the floor unable to move except for lifting my head a bit to use the bag.
I don't know how long I laid there. an hour? two? I genuinely believed I was going to die. everything was numb, I could barely see or think, I couldn't move a finger. I have no idea how I came back to my senses in the end. I apparently filled that bag halfway, everything looked like a fucking murder scene, I'll never be able to forget the red everywhere. I tried my best in my state to clean up everything but my family wouldn't have noticed anyway lol since they didn't give a shit about me. so when they came home I just greeted them as usual and never spoke a word of it. I only told my mother like a year ago and she had no reaction really, she was just fake worried to appeal as a good mother.
I tried to take it slower after that. I still starved myself, I still forced myself to throw up, but less and less because that was pretty traumatising, as suicidal as I am. I'd like to do it on my own terms if that even makes any sense lol.
but over the years I started having a healthier relationship with food, bit by bit. I can kinda eat in public now even though sometimes I still get anxiety, I can talk about food without getting triggered. I gained quite a lot of weight but somehow I'm more confident now than back then. I can cook without thinking about calories anymore. it's relieving. I still can't go on diets in a healthy way though so I kinda avoid losing weight. I just try to eat intuitively and get some exercise in from time to time and walk a lot because I genuinely enjoy it. it's not the healthiest lifestyle but it's nowhere near as bad as back then. it took me years to leave those habits behind.
so to anyone struggling, please know that I does get better. I know how difficult it is to stop because it's literally addictive, but believe me, it is possible to recover and enjoy food again and like your body. so... please consider that this can happen and stay safe. recovery is possible, I promise you, and I only wish you the best.
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squadrah · 2 years
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From My CuriousCat
"Could you do another daily routine thing, like you did with Prosciutto and Formaggio? Any character of your choice"
I chose Illuso for this one, so here's a typical day for him!
Sleeps in and gets up later than anyone else, which is fine because if you think his attitude is shitty on the regular, he's even worse when he has to be up early. Usually misses breakfast, but it's not a problem because he's one of the few team members who actually uses the kitchenette in their apartment (again I headcanon them as having an entire apartment block to themselves as their base and home), and tends to make himself breakfast from whatever he has stashed away in the cupboards.
Brushes teeth after breakfast and checks his appearance. Showers, and if necessary, he goes to town on his hair with a boar bristle brush. He only washes his hair on the weekends because it's a labor-intensive endeavor; at the same time, he always wants his hair to look well-kempt, and is one of those people who can get away with brushing until the time comes to wash.
Finally emerges downstairs, where he tries to socialize with dubious success. Will always join the others for lunch if it's at home - free food, usually zero effort on his part -, if not, he will head out and get something for himself. Treats himself on the way (read: shoplifts with Man In The Mirror), has lunch, then spends an hour or so in some transitional space like a rest stop or the airport, where nobody is likely to approach or pay any attention to him. Runs minor errands for himself only.
Eventually gets home, where he grabs some merenda and tries to socialize again. If it somehow works out, he internally pats himself on the back. If not, he goes back to his apartment and tries to do exercises to work off the frustration. Stops before he might actually work up a sweat like an animal, yuck. As if he'd ever need to break a sweat! (Is one of those people who can eat whatever they want and look amazing and everyone hates him for it.)
Psyches himself up to declutter according to Prosciutto's instructions, who knows about Illuso's hoarder tendencies, has been to his apartment, has promised to help him, and now assigns him a certain corner as his target every week (asking him to do it daily didn't work out). Declutters as much as he can. Mourns in silence as he tosses wrappers and junk into the complementary garbage bag provided for the task. Calls it a day when he gets too emotional.
Oh shit, it's dinner time. Goes downstairs to see what everybody's plans are, but tends to just eat leftovers at home. Depending on his mood, he'll drop a hint that he wants to socialize, at which point Formaggio takes pity on him and gathers enough people for party games after dinner.
Has enough of that after like an hour and tells everyone he's going to bed, but everyone knows he's binging soap operas into the dead of night because he's sometimes joined by fellow fans slash insomniacs.
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2.5.2022 JOurnal entry
I am not doing very well with my diet... I am so confused why my weight isn't going down.. Today I ate like shit, too much junk at work. I don't know how I let that happen. I have to get a grip. No candy, no junk, no sweets, no treats. Healthy, nourishing and whole foods. There's only a month until my vacation and I look like a fat blob. I have extra weight and cellulite everywhere. I feel so sick to my stomach that I ate so much today. 4 pieces of candy, 3 pieces of salmon pie, 4 handfuls of trailmix.. I can feel the urge to go to the store on my way home and buy some trash to eat while I drive home.
I would like to go to some exercise class today, but I don't think i have the time. And also I am so so tired, I slept like 5 hours last night and I know now that's why I am craving so much of this fast energy food. I want to get better at delaying the gratification. It feels much sweeter then.
I have missed him somehow very much this and last week. I don't understand why he keeps on running around my mind still as I haven't seen him in 4 months. How long it's going to take that he's not in my mind anymore? He has two month old daughter and he's happily in relationship, so I am sure that he's not thinking about me anymore. I am missing all the times we shared, but it's not really ever coming back. How do I stop thinking about him then?
I am supposed to write workthings but I am really not feeling it.
Today's food journal:
Breakfast: overnight protein oats 487
Lunch: salmon pie + 4 candies + 4 handfuls of nuts and fruits (900)
Dinner: Lasagna and beetroot cold salad (400)
total: 1787
Wow no wonder why I am not losing weight. My calorie goal was 1000 and I have overeaten it by 800 cals... And I am not even sure how much there was calories in the salmon pie. It was from the bakery, so propably a ton. I am so sleepy. How do I stay awake until home? I have to go buy another mascara. I tried this new one and it was absolutely horrible. It's just falling down and was supposed to be waterproof, but didn't last even my allergic fit in the morning. It was good thing that I counted those calories.... I have no intention to go to the store anymore to buy anything worth bingeing.
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