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xxhispieceofheavenxx · 2 years

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All is peachy || Regulus Black

Summary: After spending the summer hooking up with his brother's best friend, Regulus convinces himself she only wants him because she can't have Sirius. Or where Regulus masturbates with a peach but he is sad while doing so. (basically, the peach scene from call me by your name)

CW: slight angst to fluff, smut, male masturbation, oral sex (male receiving), self-dought, French!Regulus, French!Sirius, fem!reader. Let me know If I missed something.

Word count: 2.9k words

Hiii! I'm back with a Regulus one-shot. I had this in the back of my mind for a while now and I'm so glad I could write it down. I said that this fic wouldn't take me long, and it didn't because I've been writing it nonstop, but it's still the longest story I've written. With that being said I hope you enjoy it!

Request are open

Masterlist

The loud laughter makes his eyes roll as his mouth puffs out a breath. Sirius' voice is boisterous while joking around with his cousins Juliette, Lèon and Manon. It usually wouldn't bother him as much as it does today, but among his family, he can hear the sweet laughter that's been plaguing his mind for the entirety of the summer.

She's waist-deep in the water, squinted eyes as Sirius continues splashing water around the group. The sun shines bright, making her hair and skin look even more lively than usual. He should join them; the heat is almost unbearable even as he sits under the shadow of a big tree, pretending to read his worn-out copy of Moby Dick. He should be in the water enjoying his summer, but he can't, not when she's there, looking even more beautiful than he remembers ever seeing her. She's wearing a flowery bikini, her skin looking darker thanks to the sun.

When this summer started, Regulus never thought he would be in a situation like this; when Sirius told him he had invited a friend to spend the holiday with them at their summer manor in the South of France, he never thought he would end up falling for her. She was the loveliest from the moment she entered their house, even making his usually stern parents smile and comment about how Sirius had finally found a friend worth their time. It was hard not loving her sweet voice and laughter, the smell of her hair while she flung it over her shoulder, talking animatedly with his cousin Juliette, easy to make friends when they arrived at the holiday manor. He never thought he would have a chance with a woman so bright she could face the sun and still shine more, not him, not his gloomy face and grey eyes. But he was wrong about that again, and only a week into the summer, Regulus found himself kissing the woman of his dreams.

They had been drinking outside, near the lake, where they were swimming now. Regulus had gotten up to find more drinks when she, always the enthusiastic helper, offered to help him carry them back. Unsure how it happened, they were kissing in the wine cellar. Her body pushed against a wall, her legs around his waist, her finger tangled in his hair. Regulus thought it had all been a dream when he woke up with a killer headache. It became clear it wasn't when she tentatively pressed a hand to his back and gave him a knowing smile during breakfast, the kind that holds a secret only they share.

The next few weeks were spent sneaking around, tasting each other and enjoying furtive glances and touches. That was until Regulus decided she couldn't like a guy like him, not when she had Sirius around, the extrovert, the funny and witty brother. Why would she choose him over Sirius when he was everything his brother wasn't? Introverted, quiet, nose always stuck in a book, never able to defend himself or speak his mind, always afraid about what he could do wrong. That's why he has spent the last week making up excuses, looking the other way when her eyes tried to find his.

Giving up on distracting himself with his book, he closes it and gets up. Quick steps guide him inside the kitchen where house elves are busy prepping for dinner; out of the corner of his eye, he sees a basket full of ripe peaches and quickly grabs two, taking them upstairs to his room.

Tossing the book on his bed, he grabs the bottom of his flowy linen shirt and places a peach on his nightstand. He takes it off, allowing the cloth to fall to the floor. He lays down and starts taking the pit out of the peach in his hand. The sweet juice runs down his fingers all the way to his wrist; he manages to lick them up before the dops reach the bedding. Regulus grabs his book once more and becomes determined to get the girl out of his mind. He opens it on the marked page and aggressively chomps down on the peach.

After rereading the same line over ten times and finishing his peach, he accepts defeat. Closing the book, he places it on his nightstand and lays back, looking at the ceiling like it is about to give him the answer to stop his despair. He thought he had a chance, he really did, but that was just plain wishful thinking. He had seen himself as lucky all those times she had allowed him a taste of her lips or allowed him in her bed. But of course, it was just a distraction for her, so she wouldn't have to face Sirius' escapees alone. He knew it was all too good to be true. His brother was always the desired; he was the oldest, the more handsome, the charismatic and witty. He was still the same brother that had invited her and then left her alone with his family to meet his multiple summer affairs, leaving her to try and console herself with always-number-two Regulus.

He blames himself for even thinking that her touches were ever directed at him. Even if they were on his skin, he knows that in her mind there was only one man, and it wasn't him. All her kisses, caresses, moans and whispers weren't for him.

Groaning, Regulus looks down at the tent that formed in his summer shorts. Which had been happening a lot more often; whenever he remembers her and their endeavours. His hand had started failing him as well, no longer giving him enough pleasure. But after feeling how soft, wet and warm her cunt was all summer, it isn't a surprise. Another sight leaves his lips when he reaches for the forgotten peach by his bedside. Closing his eyes, he rolls the peach between his fingers. The soft skin reminds him of her, extra soft, after applying sunscreen all summer.

Regulus opens his eyes slightly, focusing his sight on the peach in his hands. His index finger starts gently caressing where the stem used to be, softly feeling the curves of the fruit. His breathing becomes slightly ragged as his thoughts continue to flow. No, he can't do that; it would be weird. Shaking his head, he stabs the top of the peach with his thumb, juices falling all over his chest and abdomen. He is quick to gather them with his fingers and lick them clean. He finally gets the pit out and sucks on it, getting as much of the flesh as he can, then he rolls it between his fingers and chucks it across the room, still upset at his thoughts.

Regulus hitches himself higher up, allowing his back to rest on the pillows. Tentatively, he brings the peach into his mouth, sucking the flesh exposed in the hole he left after taking the pit out. He nibbles and lets his tongue roam around the hole, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, only one thing on his mind. He can't help but compare her to the fruit, sweet and soft, juices wetting his lips and face as he explores it with his mouth.

He opens his eyes, knowing that he has lost the battle with his thoughts. Regulus lets one of his hands tread slowly down his body to the button of his shorts; his other brings the fruit into his underwear. Regulus bites back a moan, letting air out his nose, and pushes into the hole. He lets his eyes close again, feeling the sensations; how wet it is, how if he squishes it just a little bit, it feels like her cunt fluttering around him. Her face is clear behind his closed lids, mouth slightly open with pleasure, no noises coming out of her with how much he was making her feel. It doesn't take much more than that image to release, his semen filling the fruit in his hand.

Disgusted with his actions, he quickly places the peach on his nightstand. He casts a quick glance as his cum drips in a long, slow drop down one side and turns his back to it, ready to forget about what he has done.

Hours later, the bright sun is much duller coming in through the window. Soft steps pad through his bedroom floor until they reach the edge of his bed. A smile touches her lips as she watches Regulus lie asleep on his sheets, slack jaw, eyelashes fluttering as he dreams. She sits on the mattress, careful not to wake him up and laces her finger to his soft curls. She bends over, letting her lips place kisses all over Regulus' naked chest.

His eyes flutter open, dazed, as he watches her kiss down his abdomen, all the way to his unbuttoned shorts. Her hand reaches down, pulling his semi-hard dick out and placing it in her mouth. He sighs and looks as her face scrunches up in shock.

"What did you do?"

That is enough to fully wake him up, realising this is not a dream and she is currently inside his room sucking him off.

"Nothing." His all-too-fast answer is enough to make her look around his room, not taking long to find the peach on his nightstand.

"Oh, wow..." she says as she reaches over him for the fruit.

"Stop." Regulus sits up and tries to get it out of her grasp.

"What? No, this is very interesting." A grin takes over her face as she chuckles.

"It's nasty."

"Yes, it is." Her smile grows. She sticks her tongue out, trying to get the drop that fell off the side.

"Stop, don't do that." Regulus tries to take the fruit away again, but she quickly avoids his hand. "Seriously, stop." His hand misses hers a third time, and she tries to lick his cum off the peach again. "Just stop, please." A sob escapes his body suddenly, tears start streaming down his face.

"Reggie, what...?" Her words get lost as he bends over her, hiding his face on her lap. "What's wrong?" Her fingers tangle on his hair again, helping her concerned voice.

"I'm sorry, I'm..." He raises his head and wipes furiously at his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, I'm sorry." She lets the peach down on his other nightstand, the closest to her. "I didn't mean to upset you. I was only joking." Her concerned eyes look for his.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry." His eyes refuse to meet hers.

"Reggie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, don't worry." He sniffs and tries to get up. She grabs his wrist, making him look at her, a surprised expression on his face.

"Something is clearly wrong. Talk to me." Her gentle voice makes tears prick his eyes again. He lays back down, letting his arm cover his eyes so she cannot see them.

"I just,... I don't know." She lays down, placing her head on his shoulder, humming, letting him know he can continue. "I..., why are we doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Kissing, making out, having sex." His arm falls down, and he stares at his ceiling once again, refusing to look at the woman on his shoulder whose eyes are boring into his face.

"You don't like it?" She whispers, voice unsure.

"I do, but do you?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't do it if I didn't." That makes him turn his face to her.

"Do you just like the sex?" The commissures of his lips go down, threatening new tears. "Because I'm sure you can find sex somewhere else."

"What?" Her eyes search into his, hoping they will give her an answer.

"If what you enjoy is the sex, I'm sure you can find someone that is not your crush's little brother to give it to you." His voice turns slightly venomous at his words. He can't believe she is making him spell it out for her. He had enough humiliation as it is; allowing her in, thinking that he was enough for her, only to realize Sirius was the one she wanted and couldn't have.

"Wait, wow, wow, wow." She sits up, her arms moving defensively in front of her. "What are you talking about?"

His brow furrows, and he sits up on the bed as well. "You have a crush on Sirius."

"Ew, what the fuck?" She makes a disgusted expression. "Who the fuck told you that?"

"I, hm... no one?"

"Why do you think I like Sirius?"

"Because... everyone does." He looks as confused as her, not understanding her disgust and shock at the revelation.

"Who the fuck is everyone? Reggie, why would I have sex with you if I wanted Sirius?" Her frown deepens.

His mouth relaxes open, confused sound spill out while his eyes look around the room, trying to find an answer. She doesn't...? But all those looks she sent Sirius' way, they coy smiles and jokes between them. They had to be more, hadn't they? "I..., you're not having sex with me because Sirius isn't interested?"

Her mouth gapes open. "What? No." The disgust returns to her features. "I mean, I love your brother, he's one of my best friends, but he is the sluttiest man on Earth. I'd only have to ask him, and he'd be dropping his pants in a second."

Unsure eyes look at her.

"Reggie," She says softly, her hands cupping his cheeks. "I like you, not just the sex, not just the kisses. You. I like you." His eyes shine with tears as he looks at her, looking for a hint of a lie.

"I just came inside a peach." Is all he can muster out after a moment of silence. Her laughter erupts in his ears.

"Yeah, you did." She finally says in between giggles. "It was sexy." More laughter leaves her, and he smiles, unable to stop himself from how happy she sounds.

"It was?"

"Yeah," She finally breathes. "It made you taste sweet." Her fingers dance on his thigh, making their way up his stomach. She caresses where the juices from the peach fell, where she had been kissing him moments ago.

"Oh..."

"Oh indeed." She looks at him with a rueful smile. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I know." His hand grabs her, stopping her caresses, and he brings it to his mouth, placing a kiss on her palm.

"You know, normally, when someone confesses their feeling for you is polite to let them know if you feel the same way or not." She says, her voice tentative.

His eyes widen, and he looks up at her, her hand still over his lips. "I like you, yes, of course, I do." His rushed words make her smile. "I'm sorry, I'm not good at feelings."

Her other hand reaches his cheek. "It's okay. We'll learn; together. I just need you to talk to me, please." His hand cups the one on his cheek. "I knew something was weird this past week, but you didn't talk to me."

"I know. I'm sorry. I tend to get in my head and not talk with people when I think something is wrong."

"Just promise you'll talk to me next time, no matter what it is." Her sad eyes are all he needs to kiss her.

"I promise." He breathes once they break apart. His hands make their way from her cheeks to her waist. "I'm sorry." Is all he whispers while he lays her down, their lips locked.

"Reggie." She breaks the kiss as her head hits the mattress. "I'd love to, but I came up here to tell you dinner is ready, and you need to come down." His forehead touches hers.

"You were the one that started blowing me."

"Oops?" His stern eyes look into hers, making her giggle. "We can do whatever you want after dinner, I promise."

"You'll finish what you started?"

"Only if you do the peach thing again." He groans, his head going back and then falling on her shoulder.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope." She over-exaggerates the pop sound and softly pushes him off her. "Come on, put your shirt on. I don't want your parents sending anyone to check on us."

Reaching the bottom of the stairs and walking past the archway, they walk into the dining room, where everyone is waiting for them.

"Look who finally decided to join us." Leon's words are accentuated by his french accent.

"Sorry." Regulus quickly apologises, sitting down on one of the free chairs. He reaches for his glass of water as a house elve starts pilling food on his plate.

"Is everything okay?" Orion asks as he sips his wine.

"Yeah, you guys took so long to come downstairs." Sirius pipes up.

"All is peachy." Her cheery voice makes Regulus choke on his sip of water. Eyes look at him as he tries not to cough out a lung. "He fell asleep, took me a bit to get him up."

"Oh, you're still cranky when you wake up, Reg." Manon's teasing voice says.

"Yes, I guess." His cheeks are red as he prays nobody has realized the actual situation. Regulus' eyes have a glint in them, one that she recognises. She grins at him, fully knowing she's in for a lot tonight.

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sharkiegorath · 5 months

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Of the main three, Maximus was taken by a militant cult as a child after his home was destroyed, and Lucy was born into a mad scientist corporation-based pseudo-cult - but Cooper, an original American, is the one who’s the most broken. It’s not only because he’s lived the longest and therefore been through the most shit. He believed the most in the most pervasive and powerful culture, and it was the deepest betrayal.

Max and other Brotherhood members, even Thaddeus, are entirely aware of how they're abused and trapped. Lucy follows the values she was taught and genuinely believes in kindness, but she quickly accepts the truth about Vault-Tec and her father. In Cooper’s flashbacks, he’s by far the most resistant to challenges to his beliefs and personal security. He scoffs at his best friend’s criticism and walks out of a meeting where he agrees with the sentiment not so deep down. He throws around the word ‘commie’ because his society actually has a label for dissidents. He's hesitant to spy on Barb not just because he respects her but because he's scared of the truth. As the truth gains on him, his reaction is consistently denial - and it's ambiguous to what extent that's his own personality and to what extent it's cultural conditioning. Unlike other parents, he was honest with his daughter about the war, but he still wanted to believe a nuke was ‘just a fire’.

In FO analyses there’s a common assumption that the Pre-War world was ‘still better’ and the post-apocalypse is regression. Actually, it’s not that simple. The current cultures are a continuation, not a reset. The wasteland’s brutality makes it possible for people like Max and Lucy to recognize the awful reality behind people claiming to protect them. They don’t cling to lies; at this point, they probably wouldn't choose to give their whole lives for a lie. Pre-War, Cooper fought and worked for outright evil people, but he couldn’t tell at first because his life was pretty good. The depth of indoctrination corresponds to how normal life seems - from the Brotherhood's open contempt for itself to Vault 33's cheery obsession with Reclamation Day to the last days of the upper class in Pre-War America.

And it's so interesting how they relate to each other?? Max tries to do things Lucy’s way, even after it doesn’t work, and he starts agreeing that it’s better to be compassionate than to demand and take. Lucy understands that morality is complex after two weeks in the wasteland, easily forgiving Max for lying, then believing Moldaver's story. Meanwhile the Ghoul tried to show Lucy that the world is terrible and she'll end up like him - not because Cooper was an asshole at heart, but because that complete loss of idealism happened to him, and even though he was once nice and honorable, his original worldview already emphasized Being Right or Proving a Point.

#fallout meta #fallout #cooper howard #lucy maclean #maximus fallout #tags i am putting you there do not bite me do not bite me do not bite me #sharkie plays fallout #anyway i love the main three no notes #fallout tv

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modern-day-bard · 8 months

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Masterlist

Other Duties As Assigned: A Joel Miller Fanfiction

Summary:

Guinevere Russell is the sole heir to the multimedia conglomerate, Russell Corp. After obtaining her MBA and moving home to New York City, she’s been forced to return to a tumultuous relationship with her father and the rest of the board. Gwen would prefer to run off with her friends and see just how far she can take a distraction, and she’s perfectly happy doing so. That is, until her father hires a bodyguard to keep a watchful eye on her. She just can’t figure out if he was hired for her safety, or to uncover the secrets no one else knows she possesses…

Joel Miller is a personal security officer on leave from his last assignment, where he worked abroad for a U.S. embassy. He has avoided private security detail for years after a life-changing accident, but when he gets this call, the money is too good to pass up. But Joel has never met a client with such an aversion to being protected. Regardless of the paycheck, Joel will soon realize this is his biggest challenge yet, but not for the reason he thinks…

When their secrets, both past and present, collide in a mixture of tension and new-found feelings, the results can be catastrophic. Now, Gwen’s safety is put at risk more than ever before, and the two of them have to get to the bottom of the mystery, and what they mean to each other, before it’s too late.

Content Warning: 18+ This story includes mature themes such as drinking, stalking, violence, and explicit smut. Minors, do not interact.

a/n: This is a WIP! I’m writing more chapters while editing before I post. I hope to post on a consistent basis. I’m also posting this story on ao3 and Wattpad. Tumblr tends to take me the longest to post from, but I’m determined to make it happen!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Worth The Feeling: A Javi Gutierrez Fanfiction

Summary: Ava Cohen is a 26-year-old production assistant working tirelessly to achieve her dream of one day becoming a film director. As hiatus from her last project comes to a close, she returns to set with Norwick Productions, whom she has worked with for the past four years. After a major fo paux on the first day of work, Ava is worried she has offended the star of this next production: Javi Gutierrez. She will soon come to realize, this couldn’t be further from the truth. When the cast and crew travel to Italy to film on location, the seriousness of what Ava is feeling becomes all too real, just as a new career opportunity lands in her lap. As tensions run high, watchful eyes set in, and her career is put at stake, can all of this be worth it in the end?

Content Warning: 18+

This story includes explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship (MC is 26, Javi is in his 40s). Minors, do not interact.

a/n: The full story is available on AO3 and on Wattpad as well for anyone who is interested. Thank you to anyone who reads my story! 🤍

Total word count: 93,547

Pairing: javi gutierrez x f!reader. No physical descriptors of the MC, except for her being shorter than Javi.

Pairing Disclaimer: the original pairing was Pedro x reader but after everything was released I felt very uncomfortable with that. If I was a celebrity, I wouldn’t want people to write that about me. I was creating a character as I wrote this story that was separate to Pedro, and after posting, I regretted my choice. I have edited all chapters to reflect this, as Javi’s love of movies and cheerful disposition makes sense for the character I created. Reblogged posts may still have the original pairing, as I’m unable to update them. Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Epilogue

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ohitsjustgen · 11 months

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Miles Morales (1610) x Reader

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This is my longest story yet. Ideas just randomly come to me at 2 AM😭

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Love songs by Kaash Paige was blaring in your ears while you were doing your chemistry worksheet humming along to the lyrics. Although you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was staring at you? Eyes piercing through your skin.

You look to your right and see an unfamiliar dark skinned boy. As your eyes meet he quickly looks away looking back at his empty worksheet. You find it kinda weird that he would just be staring with no real cause. Was something on your face? Were you humming too loud? You look around to see everyone talking with their peers or working alone on their own worksheet. You look back over to where the boy is seated. He seems to be talking to his peer sitting next to him. You brush it off and proceed to work on your worksheet.

The bell suddenly alarms saying that it's time to transition to the next period. You scoot your chair back and pick up your backpack, placing your supplies inside. "Miles and Peter, can you please make your way over to my desk?" Announcing Mr. Taylor, our chemistry teacher.

You sling the backpack over your shoulder as you place your phone into your pocket and walk out of the room but not before saying "Bye Mr. T" as you always do. He calls out behind you "Bye Y/N, see ya tomorrow."

Not thinking too much about the situation that just happened, you walk to your locker to meet up with your friends Joseph and Jade

You see that they have already arrived at your locker. "Hey you guys" you say letting a smirk plaster onto your face. "Heyyy Y/N" Jade says widening her arms for a hug. You cringe at the thoughts of hugs. "Girl, you know I don't do those." you say getting stiff. "Oh right my bad". Jade, who prefers to be called J, holds out her hand to do your "secret" handshake. Turning to Joseph you ball your fist and give him a fist bump.

You've known Joseph and J for about a year. While reading "The Hunger Games" in the library Jade came up to you with a big goofy smile blabbering about how the author is her favorite yada yada. Joseph came and apologized for her actions. After that first encounter, I knew we would've been the best of friends.

"Have you seen the new guy?" Asks Jade.

"What new guy?" You ask putting your bookbag into the locker and grab your computer, composition notebook and a mechanical pencil.

"I believe his name is Kyle?" questions Jade.

"His name is miles dumbass" Corrects Joseph

You think for a moment. "Actually I have a miles in my class"

"Was he cute?" Whispers Jade

"I dunno I didn't stay to see which one was miles" you shurg. You close your locker after getting all of your belongings.

"Ight I'll see you guys after class" says Joseph as he puts his hands in his pockets and walks off. We wave goodbye and begin to walk the opposite direction.

"So when are you going to start dating again y/n??"

While rolling your eyes, you see the same boy who was staring at you, in the hallway laughing with the guy he was sitting next to in chemistry.

"Hello??? Earth to y/n?" Jade says waving her hand in front of your face. You snap out of your trance and look at Jade. She looks at you and looks back at the boy you were just staring at.

"OoOoOoOo are you in love?"

"No" You'd state blankly walking through the halls to get to your Geometry class.

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Once you and Jade make it to class you sit next to each other and pull out your composition notebooks and mechanical pencils.

"UGHHH I hope Mr. Smith isn't here today."

"Same girl, same" you say knowing you forgot to complete the homework he assigned last night.

And to your surprise Mr. Smith didn't arrive but a Substitute teacher did.

By the looks of it he was a tall yet lankey fair skinned male, with dreads, and peircings.

"Ello class, m' her' in replacemen' fo' Mr. Smith I reckon? Honestly I dunno one thing about Geometry so ya can do whatever"

The honestly was much appreciated. Much appreciated because Mr. Smith is the same way yet he assigns work that he can't even explain. It's frustrating to try to do the work yourself.

The dark-skinned boy from before walks into the class extremely late. He's panting maybe because he was running? He looks at our sub in shock. The curly haired boy mumbles under his breath something along the lines of "What are you doing here?!" The teacher, who we don't know the name of yet, tells him he has it under control.

"Right I forgo' to mention, The names Hobie, otherwise known as Spider Punk"

The class laughs as he says the last part in a matter-of-a-fact tone.

"What are you? A rip off version of Spiderman?" Yells a female classmate

The rest of the class snickers at her remark. Hobie chuckles as well finding it amusing that we didn't believe him. The fair skinned boy who was running late takes a seat behind you and puts his head down groaning. You hear this and decide to confront him to make sure he's ok.

You turn around to face him.

"Rough first day?" You say leaning your head onto your knuckles.

He lifts up his head to face you.

"You have no idea"

"Names Y/N" you say with a friendly smile.

A smirk forms across the boys face "Miles"

"Oh yea and sorry about staring at you earlier..creepy I know but it was harmless I swear" he says putting his hands up defensively.

"It's alright I didn't think nun of it anyway" you say chuckling

J leans and whispers something into your ear

"I'll leave you two love birds alone"

You playfully hit the fair skinned girl as she gets up from her seat and sits next to her other peer she knew in this class.

LOVE. FEAT. ZACARI. by Kendrick Lamar and Zacari began to play.

Surprisingly your Beats headphones were loud enough that the boy heard it himself.

"Oh you like Kendrick Lamar too?" Asks the boy

"Oh uhm yea. He's a good artist. Who do you listen to?" You ask wanting to know more about him.

"More along the lines of Kendrick Lamar, Frank Ocean, Russ, YK Osiris, Vedo. Those types of artists." He says while counting the artists on his fingers.

"I only know 2 of those artists" you say chuckling

"Dang, you're really missing out" he says pulling out his phone to show the songs he recommends

You guys exchange playlists and point out the songs you know and don't. Suddenly the bell rings alarming you that it's time for lunch.

"Need someone to sit next to?" You ask getting up from your chair

"Yea that would be nice" Miles says doing the same

___________________________________________

While grabbing an apple and putting it into your tray you turn to miles to ask more questions.

"Batman or Superman?"

"Batman, I like to keep my identity secret AND I'm a night owl"

You nod in response

"Catwoman or Wonder woman"

"Catwoman, nothing specific I just like her costume" you say shrugging

You usher the boy to your usual spot in the cafeteria. While placing your tray down you point to your friends to give introductions.

"Jade this is Miles, Miles Jade, Joseph Miles, Miles Joseph"

They exchange glances and waves as the two of you sit down.

______________________________________________________

A/N: If I get at least 40ish likes on this story I'll do a part 2

#miles morales x you #miles morales x reader #miles x reader #morales miles #miles morales x y/n #miles morales #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #1610 miles x reader #earth 1610 miles fluff #miles morales 1610 #earth 1610 miles morales x you #earth 1610 miles x reader #earth 1610 miles x you #earth 1610 miles morales #earth 1610 Miles Morales x Y/N #spiderman atsv #atsv miles #atsv miles morales #ATSV Miles Morales x You

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altsvu · 9 months

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long lost

pairing: peter stone x black!fem!reader

wc: 3.1k

summary: peter left you. but when he comes back it’s like he never left, if not better than that.

tw: smut smut smut (p in v sex, oral sex, teasing), fluff, a little angst

a/n: i love me some peter stone 🤭 yet once again this has been sitting in my notes for a long time, since 2020 actually… but we’re not gonna talk abt it. i think of this fic as a twist to the season 20 finale since it’s based on stone leaving. i got a little carried away with this one, i think this is my longest fic yet!

law and order svu masterlist! ✯ taglist!

✯✯✯✯

“Peter, why do you have to leave?”

“I just have to. I lost perspective, so I need to move on for a little while.”

“But what do you mean? Peter, you’re not talking to me.”

“I can’t tell you right now. I will tell you, but I can’t now.”

You were going through a lot of different emotions at the same time. Frustration, sadness, anger even. Tears were forming in your eyes, and when the first one rolled down your cheek, it became instant waterworks.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I really am. I will talk to you soon,” Peter said, his eyes getting red and tearing up as well.

Before you could even answer, Peter gave you a quick hug and you watched him walk out the door with his packed duffel bag as if he was in a hurry.

That broke you.

✯✯✯✯

8 months later:

“We should call Liv.” You said.

“She has a thing, told us not to call her unless it’s urgent.” Kat said.

You stared at the text containing the lab results.

“We may have let one of the guilty men get away with a double rape and murder. This is pretty urgent to me.”

“Y/L/N...”

“If she gets upset then she gets upset.” You replied, pulling up Liv’s number and calling it.

“Y/N! What’s going on?” Liv asked.

“Lab results. We need to talk about them. And get new arrest warrants fast.”

“Are they that bad?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. I’ll send you the address of where I am right now, you and Kat can meet me.”

“Thanks, Liv.” You said, hanging up.

“Call Carisi?”

You then looked to Kat, gunning the engine. “Yes. We’re going on a little trip.”

When you and Kat got to Liv’s location, you got a call from Melinda. You had asked her a favor that would help with the case.

“Melinda.” You said on the phone. Kat was ahead of you and you heard her greeting Liv. “Oh. Okay, okay... third person?... but they didn’t rape her... so he’s still guilty... okay, okay... thank you Melinda, I owe you.”

You sighed and looked back at the lab results once over then looked up to address Liv and Fin when you saw who was in front of you.

“Peter?” You asked. It had been 8 months since you saw him last. Probably even more than that.

To your knowledge, he left after the case against Rob Miller. You didn’t even want to think about that case the way it had you and the rest of your squad stressed out. You didn’t find out what really happened that made him leave until two months ago from Liv and you were still distraught that he didn’t have the balls to tell you about it.

You took a good look at him. He looked a little different but he was still his beautiful, sexy self and you loved that, despite everything.

“Y/N.” He smiled. He pulled you into his arms for a tight hug. You inhaled the scent of his cologne on his coat. He kissed the top of your head before letting you go. “How are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”

“Amazing.” He smiled.

“Hey, I hate to interrupt but what are the results?” Fin asked.

You opened your phone and Peter saw the lock screen of you and him at the annual gala a year and a half ago. He had his arm around you and was kissing you on the forehead. “There’s a third person. Melinda just told me. And we need to get the other man we let go the other day.”

“Good. Kat, where are we with arrest warrants?” Liv asked.

“I’ll call Carisi again.” she said, walking away from the group.

“So, the third guy, do we know who he is?”

“Yes. His only brother.” You replied.

“Carisi’s on board with the arrest warrants.” Kat said.

“And while you’re at it, ask him for the warrant for the brother too. Fin, go with them, they’ll need another person to arrest the men.”

“On it.” Fin said and got up from his seat.

You started towards the door when Peter took your hand.

“Hey. Maybe we can talk over a light meal or a drink later? Here’s my new number.” He whispered, sliding a card in your hand with his other hand.

You looked down at it for a bit, then looked back up at him. All your intimate memories with him started to rush back in and you prayed that you wouldn’t fold for him right on the spot, in front of all these people.

“I’ll see what I can do.” You whispered back. He pulled you in his arms again. "Good luck out there."

"Thank you Peter," you smiled, slightly getting on your tippy-toes and planting a light kiss on his jaw, a place that you loved kissing him on.

✯✯✯✯

You finally got home after a long evening processing the three suspects and taking their statements.

When you took off your jacket, the little card Peter gave you fell out of the pocket. You picked it up and stared at it long and hard. You missed him a lot and it would be nice to catch up with him.

“Hello?”

“Hey Peter, it’s me Y/N.”

“Y/N, oh, it’s so good to see and hear from you. I’m guessing you called to partake in my offer.”

“If it’s not too late?”

“It’s never too late, especially when it’s you.”

“You’re sweet. Today was super stressful, I’m lucky I have tomorrow off. I wouldn’t mind spending my night with you.” You said in a flirty tone. Accidentally.

“That’s great. You can tell me all about your day, you know I would love to hear it all. I’ll pick you up in 30, I figure you just got home?”

“Yes I did, sounds amazing. Thank you for this Peter. I really needed it.”

It was super cold considering that it was only fall, but you still decided to wear one of your more sexier matching bra and panty sets, which you only wore those for special occasions.

This was a special occasion.

You put on a thick ivory colored turtleneck sweater dress, sheer tights and black above the knee boots. To top it off, you put on your oversized trench coat along with your dainty earrings and a black fur hat.

You looked at your makeup in the mirror. You didn’t do anything dramatic, just a simple brown liner/lip gloss combo, and you redid your concealer and mascara. Peter definitely loved that lip combo on you.

You continued applying finishing touches to your look when you heard your doorbell ring. You went to the door to see Peter with a bouquet of roses in his hand and a big smile on his face.

“Hi, thank you.” You smiled, taking the roses from his hand and placing them on your counter, making a mental note to put them in sugar water when you got back.

“Of course,” he said, pulling you into another hug. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes, let me just get my coat.”

✯✯✯✯

“Hey, get comfortable. It’s warm in here.” Peter said.

You slipped off your jacket and fur hat, then sat down to slip off your boots.

“Room service should be coming soon, but I have some wine here for us in the meantime.” Peter said, sitting next to you pouring two glasses.

He was wearing the same clothes he was wearing earlier, just without the coat and suit jacket.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered after handing you your glass. “Did I forget to tell you that?”

You pushed some of your curls behind your ear. “You’re so sweet.”

He smiled at you as he was pouring his glass. There was a bit of silence as you two were enjoying the first few sips of wine.

“So, how have things been working out at SVU?”

“Things have been going pretty good. Finally we’re not as short staffed as before.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah very. What about you? What’s been going on in your life?”

“Besides being here with you after six months, nothing much. In all honesty, I’m just glad to back. I went back to Chicago, spent some time by myself, worked in a small law firm for a bit. It was nice, but not all that amazing.”

“Well, I’m glad you were doing good when you were in Chicago.”

“I had to do something, right?” He smiled, laying down on the bed.

You laughed a bit, taking another sip of wine.

“How are you, though?”

You took a few more sips and turned to look in Peter’s eyes.

“I... don’t know.” You whispered. “These past few months were hard for me, but I just pushed my emotions aside. Besides that... I’ve had my good days.”

Peter was silent for a bit.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” He whispered, opening his arm out for you. You crawled in his arms.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left you behind. I shouldn’t have left you period. For the first two months I was there, I couldn’t get that memory of you crying out of my head. I couldn’t even bear to call you because of how terrible I made you feel. I couldn’t even tell you what really happened that forced my hand to leave.”

You sighed. “What happened after?”

“I don’t know, after that I honestly thought you hated me and you didn’t want to hear from me. You looked so happy when you were posting on social media and- I don’t know, Y/N, it was hard.”

He told you what happened 8 months ago following the Rob Miller case in full detail, and although you already knew what happened, it felt reassuring hearing it in his words, his point of view.

“I understand. There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while.”

He turned and looked at you. “Anything.”

“Despite everything that we’ve been through, our ups and down, just everything... I love you Peter. I still do.”

“I love you too.” He responded. Peter moved closer to you and gave you a kiss on your lips. It enabled you to kiss him back, and give him even more kisses. You and him then rolled around in bed, kissing each other more when one of Peter’s hands went up your dress, touching your bare body.

“You’re wearing one of your special occasion lingerie.”

“I knew you’d figure it out.”

“After months of being intimate with you, I think I’ve figured out your tricks. Like this.”

He pulled down your tights a bit and traced his finger around the rose tattoo that was along your bikini line.

“There’s one more that you don’t know about.” You whispered, pulling off your tights. You then got off the bed and went to the mirror that was in the room.

You slowly removed your dress, revealing your body that Peter longed for. You saw him coming up to you from behind.

“You know how I feel about the lingerie you’re wearing.”

“I know. That’s why I wore it.” You whispered. You felt the outline of his length slightly press against your lower back.

“I’m glad. I think you missed me a lot.” He whispered. He ran his fingers along your back tattoo, the Chinese symbols for pleasure and love. He then kissed it lightly. “Pleasure and love.”

“I got it a month after you left. I guess it was kind of a way for me to relieve some of the pain. It didn’t really work the way I wanted to, as you probably know.”

“Hey,” Peter whispered, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m sorry for everything. I really am. I’m here now, and I don’t ever want to leave you again.”

You twisted around and you kissed him passionately. You turned back to face the mirror.

“And I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Well, while we’re here...” Peter started. You felt his hands move to your bra hooks. “The lingerie is beautiful, but there’s something else I find more beautiful.” He slowly removed the hooks one at a time until they were all off. Going to the straps, he slid them off one by one, giving you chills because of how slow he was doing so.

Your bra was completely off and you let Peter cup one of your breasts in his hand. His free hand slid down to your underwear, massaging your opening.

“You’re already wet for me, huh?” He whispered against your skin. His lips brushed your skin ever so slightly and it gave you chills.

“Mmm, yeah.” You smiled, getting pleasure from Peter’s massages.

You turned around after he pulled his fingers out of you underwear. He kissed you starting from your lips to your waist, pulling down your underwear. He kissed your bikini line, licking the rose tattoo. When he got back up, he had his hands on you bare hips.

“I missed this in Chicago.” He said.

“Well this time’s worth the wait.” You smiled. You took the liberty of helping Peter out of his clothes, then you pushed Peter to the bed and as he moved to the middle of the bed, you got on top of him.

“Please, I want to come inside you.” He pleaded, starting to adjust himself to your opening.

You let him go inside you, and it was the best feeling ever. He had his hands on your butt, squeezing it as you thrusted faster and faster.

“Fuck Peter, I don’t think you understand how much I missed this.” You breathed hard, tossing your head back.

Peter kissed your chest and your boobs, one by one, giving you goosebumps.

“Me too. You’re so beautiful, I could fuck you all night.”

You sat back up, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I can make that arrangement.”

“Good.” He whispered. You continued thrusting faster, which made Peter reach his climax much faster. You could see the tears forming in his eyes. “Y/N,” He pleaded as you were thrusting. “Please, let me come inside you. I’m almost there.”

You felt a wave of relief rushing through your body as you and Peter had reached your climaxes.

He pulled out and took a deep breath. He looked at you calming down from your climax. You took his hand and pulled him closer to you.

“How’s that for being in Chicago?”

“Much better than any sex we’ve had since we met.” Peter whispered, slowly pushing his two fingers inside you. Your lips parted and you leaned back as he pushed inside you and teased your pulsing pearl, feeling another rush flow through your body. He watched you and caressed your cheek as moans and whimpers escaped your mouth. He admired every single thing about your body, from you baby soft face, your smile, the legs that he always longed to open after a long Friday after work, and so much more.

He then went to the end of your body and held your legs up. You felt his tongue on your folds licking up all of the juices you produced. His tongue was encircling your clit and you were getting even more aroused.

“Do you want me inside you again?”

You breathed out yes and teased you first before he pushed inside you. He ordered you to look at him, he wanted to watch you fall apart under him. He praised you excessively, telling you that you looked beautiful, that he wanted you all to himself, and even that you were his baby girl and you were doing so good for him. That sent you over the edge.

“Peter…” you moaned. You felt yourself reaching another high under him.

“Are you gonna come all over me? It’s okay.” Peter smiled. “I love it when you do that.”

You smiled back at him and felt the last wave of relief move through your body as your hips rolled.

“Ugh now I feel embarrassed.” You laughed.

“Why? It’s a natural part of arousal.” Peter smiled, pulling out.

“I know, it’s just... I haven’t done it in a while. Not with anyone else, at least.” You admitted, getting up going towards the bathroom.

“Wait.” Peter whispered, going after you.

“Yes, Peter, I have a dildo, okay?” You whispered back. “And no, it’s not the same experience compared to when I’m with you. Even though I think about- you know what, we’re not gonna talk about it anymore.” You walked into the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror.

“You thought of me, didn’t you?” Peter asked, coming up behind you.

“Yes.”

Peter’s hands tickled your waist. “You missed me so much, Y/N. It’s okay.”

“Jesus, Peter.” You laughed. “Of course I did. Now let me pee.”

“Okay okay.” He sneaked a kiss on your neck before you slipped out of his arms and went to use the bathroom. He then went to turn on the shower. “You should join me after.” He said to you before hopping in.

When you finished, you slipped in the shower.

“I know the hotel doesn’t have the exquisite shower products that you have back at your place, but a simple rag and bar soap can suffice for now.”

You were standing under the water for a bit, using the soap he gave you. “You remembered.”

“I mean, yeah. Going to your place on a Friday night was my favorite part of the week. And God, that shower.” Peter smiled, cleaning you off first.

“It sounds like you want to recreate that night.” You said, stepping closer to him.

“Maybe I do.” He said, placing the soap and washcloth in the caddy after you finished cleaning him off. “Come here.” he then whispered. You stepped closer to him and he picked you up.

“Hey, can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

You leaned in to kiss him and it turned into a make-out session. Your legs curled around his body.

“You wanna get outta here?” Peter whispered.

“Mhm.”

“Okay.”

Peter turned off the water and stepped out, draping a towel around both of your bodies. He grabbed two robes and carried you back into the room. You got off of him and dried yourself off.

“Do you wanna wear one of my shirts? Or one of my boxers?

“I’ll wear both.” You said.

After the two of you finished getting dressed, you decided to cuddle with Peter in bed.

“Peter?”

“Hmm?” He asked, running a finger down your arm.

“You never did order room service, did ya?”

✯✯✯✯

taglist: @storiesofsvu, @averyhotchner, @ssaic-jareau, @blackbeautifulqueen, @deiondraaa, @wandas-wife

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workingforitallthetime · 1 year

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Every UMich Monday question, 2022-23

As is tradition, I have rewatched every single Monday question in a row, and I now present to you a complete list. The most interesting recurring themes this year were sleepy Mackie, Gavin being obsessed with Jaybone, Frankie having a crush on Brendan, and everyone agreeing that Seamus is a total weirdo. Instead of a full ranking this year, I've sorted them into tiers. Bonus links to non-Monday question but still gold star content appear at the end.

Tier I: Every single second an absolute delight

December 7, 2022 If you could make it rain anything, what would it be? This contains the single flirtiest interaction I have ever seen in a Monday question video, and I say this as a survivor of the Thomas Bordeleau era. It’s a crime against humanity that the video cuts just as Rutger starts to loom over Gavin after drawling suggestively about how he has a sweet tooth. Also features Luca sweetly encouraging Truss.

November 15, 2022 Who has the best bromance on the team? BEST QUESTION and Jaybone kicks it off right: “Gotta be the Fantilli brothers for sure.” Other highlights include Luke insisting that he and Duker have the best bromance despite great skepticism from his teammates (Luca: “I mean you got in a fight today.” Luke: “Ya, out of love.”) and Johnny and Luca’s joint announcement of their engagement bromance, immediately endorsed by everyone else on the team.

November 22, 2022 If you had to describe yourself or a teammate using just Thanksgiving foods, what would you say? This is an all-timer. It starts with a series of teammates describing Moyle as the thickest Thanksgiving dishes possible, and then it builds to Johnny describing Seamus as pudding (presumably because he’s soft and sweet) and then looking longingly at Luca while telling him he’s the main dish. Also an unknown staffer chips in with a very important Seamus characterization: “Seamus Casey is green bean casserole. It’s a little different, it’s okay. But you only want it once a year.”

November 2, 2022 If you were sailing around the world, what would you name your boat? Hello, 911? I’m calling to report a murder. It was Jacob Truscott in the locker room with the “I would do Granger. Because I miss my roommates Thomas and Matty so it would remind me of them.” This one also features Adam’s dumb face goggling at Rutger’s incredibly dumb answer. And we also learned that Jaybone calls Gavin “Scooter.”

April 4, 2023 Who’s the best teammate to room with on the road? They ended the season on a high note by revealing everybody's road roommates, with a heavy dose of characterization. Luke praising Truss, and then Truss getting snarky as soon as Luke turns his back. Last year’s Brendan/Dylan and Matty/Mackie roommate combos, a parent trap if ever I heard of one. Jaybone feeding Seamus chicken and rice and putting him to bed on time. Nolan and Gavin ordering Chik-Fil-A and clearly getting up to no good.

Tier II -- Screaming out loud

February 14, 2023 Who makes the best wingman? RICH with characterization. Self-deprecating Seamus vs. self-confident Gavin! (Particularly when contrasted with multiple teammates identifying Seamus as the best wingman and Adam emphatically declaring that Gavin’s the worst wingman even though literally nobody asked.) Luca and Johnny being absolutely besotted with each other, and Rutger manhandling them.

January 17, 2023 Who on the team takes the longest to get ready? Rutger trying to Facetime the Fantillis while they’re taking forever to do their hair is PURE GOLD. Also an early reference to Gavin getting the dance moves going.

March 8, 2023 What’s your favorite memory from the season, so far? Adam’s favorite memory was watching Luca score his first goal.

October 11, 2022 If you could have any zoo animal as a pet, what would it be? Wherein we learned that Phil and Keato adopted ducks last spring. “Shoutout to Moose, Chip, Waddle, Bandit, we miss you.” (Connor Earegood, you still owe us the details. We will not forget.)

October 19, 2022 If you could swap lives with a teammate for a day, who would it be and why? The origin of so many recurring motifs! Seamus being perpetually lost, Mackie lying around in bed all day, smarty Holtzy, and everybody wants to know what’s going in Mark Estapa’s head. Seamus: “I’d probably be Luca. He has a really safe moped. It’s really nice. I’d like to drive around on it.”

February 7, 2023 What is your favorite and most often used emoji? A sleeper hit, primarily due to Holtzy and Adam’s recreations of the facepalm emoji and the silly face emoji, respectively. And Eric’s dig about how Mackie would be the sleepy emoji. Gavin picking the upside down smiley face feels right, too.

Tier III -- Some classic moments

March 18, 2023 If you could fill the B1G Cup with anything, what would it be? Jacob Truscott’s finest Monday question appearance: Frenchifying Philippe LaPointe’s name and hassling Luca about ice cream flavors!

November 30, 2022 Who on the team would you NOT let tape your stick? A very important entry in Disaster Seamus canon. Doesn’t ever tape his stick. Doesn’t know how.

January 3, 2023 What’s on your 2023 bucket list? Yet another reference to Seamus being a liability on a moped. Luca wants to take a trip with the boys after the season. Steve wants to go back to back B1G champions (CHECK!) It’s a light week because the squad is off at WJC, so “Mine’s to give Dylan Duke a big ol’ hug when he gets back,” says Mackie.

September 20, 2022 If you were a cartoon character, who would you be? Great answers top to bottom, but Adam going with Mike Wazowski because “I think he has a good heart” is the most intriguing. Gavin and Luca hugging it out is also important.

September 22, 2022 What would your walk-up song be? Gavin and Luca dancing away together is the highlight of this one. The mysterious Phil/Mark/Seamus pick of Hawaiian Rollercoaster Ride also intrigues.

January 12, 2023 Who would be your dream linemate? Features Luca uttering the supremely horny sentence: “My favorite D in the league right now is Quinn Hughes.” Also Moyle picking Blanks.

October 4, 2022 Who on the team would most likely survive a zombie apocalypse? Best line is from Luca: “Jacob Truscott, because he’s so cute the zombies would just want to hug him.” Seamus also points out that Mackie would survive because he’d sleep through it.

November 8, 2022 Which of your teammates would you want to narrate your life? Nolan Moyle “has a lot of stories about me,” hints Truss, darkly. TELL US MORE. Also Seamus carries two smoothies through the background. Who else did you get a smoothie for, Seamus?

Tier IV -- Merely good

March 15, 2023 Who on the team motivates you the most? Nothing too interesting except Frankie’s giant crush on Brendan Miles. Also a sweetheart answer by Luca about Adam, but that’s standard.

February 21, 2023 Give a compliment to a senior Adam with this bizarre story: “Keaton Pehrson brightens my morning every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. He comes in and he explains to us the dreams that he had that night.” And Seamus brought jokes! “Moyle keeps his house really clean.” (And adds, “You have issues @nolanmoyle” in comments, no less.)

March 30, 2023 Who on the team would build the best sandcastle? Unexceptional except for Seamus’s heart eyes about Gavin

October 26, 2022 What was your worst Halloween costume? Nothing of note except Truss citing last year’s sophomore group costume as his worst.

December 14, 2022 If you could live in any holiday movie, what would it be? Luca: “The Grinch. Whoville looks like a sick time. Whoville looks like it’d be buzzing.”

January 24, 2023 Who would you want on your team in a snowball fight? Confirms many characterizations, not much new here. Always love a reference to Moyle taking things way too far, though.

January 30, 2023 Who on the team would make the best Bachelor? Largely uneventful. Frankie has a crush on Brendan.

Bonus content!

December 7, 2022 Skating on the Diag Gavin’s first big appearance! He burst onto the scene furiously negging Luca and Rutger.

December 19, 2023 Outtakes Featuring Luca and Johnny being clueless together

January 26, 2023 Michigan’s birthday Never forget Moyle’s shorts

February 1, 2023 A Day In The Life Of Luca Fantilli The greatest content ever produced.

February 12, 2023 Super Bowl predictions from your squad Glasses Rutger and Seamus in slut shorts

#luca really is the monday question MVP

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thanook · 8 months

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By the way my friend groupd has created a rule that states that no one is allowed to "narrate what they are doing in their turn in a board game like a Yu-Gi-Oh/Pokémon character, unless it's their winning turn". Classified as such, is "any monolog that would fit with Pokémon battle music". Example:

FOR MY TURN, I USE MY PORT TO TRADE TWO FO MY SHEEP FOR A BRICK. THEN, I WILL BUILD A ROAD, AND OFF OF THAT ROAD BUILD A SETTLEMENT, BRINGING ME UP TO SEVEN VICTORY POINTS. I WILL NOW USE TWO SHEEP MORE TO TRADE FOR A WHEAT, AND WILL USE MY DEVELOPMENT CARD: A KNIGHT! I WILL USE THIS KNIGHT TO MOVE THE ROBBER TO THE WOOD 6 TILE, AND STEAL FROM <name>, WHO, LAST TURN, HAD TWO CARDS, RECEIVED FOUR WHEATS AND BUILT A CITY, LEAVING <pronoun> WITH ONLY WHEAT CARDS! NOW, I WILL SPEND MY REMAINING FIVE CARDS TO UPGRADE MY NEWLY BUILT SETTLEMENT INTO A CITY, BRINGING ME TO EIGHT VICTORY POINTS. IT IS NOW THAT I WILL REVEAL MY LAST AND WINNING TRICK: WITH THE ROAD I BUILT EARLIER, MY LONGEST ROAD IS NOW EIGHT TILES LONG, SURPASSING <name>'S SEVEN AND AWARDING ME THE LONGEST ROAD CARD, GIVING ME TWO MORE VICTORY POINTS, FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF TEN!

#catan

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sonkitty · 10 months

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The Sideburns Scheme (Good Omens 2)

Find the newest Sideburns Scheme material here: The Sideburns Scheme

Formerly titled "Crowley S2 Hair Project - Main Point of Reference for Sideburns".

This post as regularly updated as I process my thoughts.

Last Updated: 01/11/2024

This is short:

This is long:

There is more to to it than above, and we are going to work through that.

Crowley's sideburns change in length in season 2. I am reasonably sure I have figured out how and am starting to work though a little bit of why.

Here is my take.

The absolute most crucial thing to understand for my theory is space. Character presence, movement, and likely memory all impact the space, but the space decides the length based on those things. The space is practically a character reading the story with us and making decisions on what length to give Crowley in response.

If you walk way from my post with only one thing and one thing only, I want it to be this:

The Bentley is Crowley's own former-demon space, and the driver's door to that space is its primary threshold.

Now, if you're with me, and curious enough, here is so much more.

Effect

When I refer to the effect, I will specifically mean the changing of the length.

But what is the effect from that?

Each type of length probably provides a benefit of some kind since Crowley takes actions to get them one way or the other. Grasping what that is, is difficult to say the least.

We'll see what each space tells us because the spaces have different readings on Crowley as it is. There are lengths between short and long after all. Short is going to be considered a human space and long enough will be considered a former-demon space, to simplify things as best I can. I won't say "long enough" every time, just "long" and sometimes I will refer to a "longest-length."

On its most basic level, short trends human, and long trends supernatural with that length increasing depending on the supernatural elements within the space.

Even though the length is what I focus on, the sideburns even change on how full of hair they are, and sometimes aren't even...well, even.

Earthly Objects

I don't really know if Earthly Objects is a game or if that's the name of the game, but that's my understanding of what something is that is happening in the story.

The Earthly Objects game is somehow related to this Sideburns Scheme, which is also like a game. Both deal with thresholds so encounter each other. Certain aspects of the Earthly Objects game hint at falsehoods in at least the tutorial sequence for the sideburns.

Even so, the message about how the sideburns worked is still true. This story is tricky like that.

As such, a lot of my analysis is still going to be on what is presented nonetheless.

Home Base Concept - The Bookshop

Aziraphale's bookshop is where a lot of the present day season 2 story takes place, and it is nearly a second home to Crowley. Aziraphale himself is an angel, or a former angel.

The bookshop's default reading on Crowley being with just Aziraphale, if later scenes in the story are any indication, is somewhere between short and long, a medium length that gets closer to proper human-space short when in a private room together.

That's a reading that recognizes Crowley as a supernatural entity but still giving something shorter than longer reading around other angels. Most likely, that's because Crowley and Aziraphale are supernatural friends whose relationship is very similar to human partners.

When other angels are around, the bookshop's reading on Crowley increases the length. It's most noticeable from Gabriel, but that's likely because Gabriel is the angel who is around for most of the story.

Muriel shows up later, and Muriel is an angel, yet the sideburns are short. What gives?

The bookshop takes Muriel literally when Muriel claims to be human. It probably helps that Aziraphale literally accepts this claim even if he is fully aware that Muriel is an angel. As such, the reading on Crowley is that being a former-demon who tends to be around humans and pretend to be human often enough, the sideburns should still be the proper length for this "human" encounter.

When Muriel has admitted to not being human and Crowley acknowledges a full awareness that they are an angel, the next time they are in the bookshop together, both with other angels and alone, the bookshop then gives the longest type of sideburns to Crowley.

After that, the bookshop's not really going to tell us about other specific angels, such as Michael.

The main thing we're told is that other angels who are not Aziraphale are going to make that length longer, with at least Gabriel and Muriel being among those angels.

So, what does longer mean among the other angels? My general guess based on character behavior and story events when it's on, is that it's also a mark of rank from Crowley's time as an angel before his fall. The reading comes from a latent memory within the angels themselves. The story has repeated implications he was a high rank, seeming to be most specific at "First-Order Archangel" among those implications.

Crowley seems to be in charge among angels. He becomes a decision-maker and ends up directing the action.

When he is with only himself and Gabriel, he is in charge.

When he is with only himself and Muriel, he is in charge.

When he is with only himself, Aziraphale, and Gabriel, Aziraphale might make suggestions but otherwise follows along with Crowley's direction of what to do.

When Crowley is in the bookshop scene with both the powers of Heaven and Hell, he is in charge right up until he says to Aziraphale, "You got this?" Before that, he is quick to deflect a war, and they basically just let him with him yelling, getting the cardboard box, and recovering Gabriel's memories. There is a moment where it looks like Michael is taking charge by commanding mortals be turned into salt, but Crowley quickly steps in to volunteer to take care of it. Saraqael, who looked ready to do what Michael ordered, abides and lets Crowley escort the mortals out.

Do longest length sideburns do more than mark rank? I suspect they are related to memory, and they are always present during three access points of memory with Gabriel, who has amnesia. Each one is brief, and it's hard to say how much the information given is actually used. One access point is a mix of Gabriel's and God's voice, another is a mix of Gabriel's and someone else's voice who sounds like a woman, and a third access point is that Gabriel took his memory out of a matchbox, no, wait, he took it out first. In the first two access points, Gabriel's eyes turn purple, which seem to be a mark of rank on him as the Supreme Archangel.

If the sideburns mark rank in the bookshop among angels, what does that mean for Heaven? Most of my analysis on Heaven is not about that, but at the very least, none of the scenes provided in Heaven show the angels stopping Crowley from doing what he wants. Muriel is the only one who does something that even looks close to trying and abides once he changes his appearance for them.

Home Base Concept - The Bentley

Did you ever notice how abruptly the encounters with Shax and Beelzebub ended when Crowley was in or near his car? That was weird, right? Here is what I believe happened.

The Bentley has special rules as a space, and each of those encounters ended with Crowley kicking out the other demon, possibly on accident in two of those instances.

The threshold to the Bentley is mainly the driver's door, but the driver's seat acted as one when Crowley was summoned to Hell.

Of note, the sideburns are long in these instances though not at their longest length that happens in the bookshop. Based on Crowley himself, Shax, and Beelzebub, that altogether suggests a default demon reading from the car. It can change, but it has to be managed through Crowley in the season's ending.

Back to the topic of the encounters, let's move on.

Shax at the Door

Crowley placed himself on the threshold and possibly made Shax wait a full hour before answering his phone. When answering, some of his body is touching the roof of the car, which makes it so that he's not touching that door panel exclusively. Then he turns around when he would presumably not be touching his car but at least fully intending to touch it, which seems to suffice for the story. Shortly after, he is leaning against the roof again.

By taking this action, he is allowing Shax closer to the space around the car and talk to her.

For the shots we are allowed to see him from the front, he is touching the roof, door panel, and sometimes we see the window pane is included the lean as well.

Before he asks, "Is that all?", he stops touching those parts of the car entirely and cannot be seen touching any other part.

Shax disappears from the scene.

By removing the touch from the car, the home base kicked her out. The forced exit seems unintentional.

Summoned by Beelzebub to Hell

Beelzebub uses a fly already inside the car. Crowley did not invite Beelzebub in, but the fly is enough to get their metaphorical foot in the door.

They then do not fully manifest in corporal form into the car and summon Crowley into Hell.

Crowley very deliberately leans back and while we can't see his back constantly against the throne during the entire scene, it is implied, bare minimum, he is not leaning forward while on that throne for most of it. He's gathering intel despite his evident reluctance to be in Hell during the scene. The throne he sits in represents his driver's seat. Even when Crowley seems to want to lean forward, he'll try to not lean too much or he will lean to the side. Until the end of the conversation, he only leans forward off the back of the seat when he asks something ("Is that a new face?" "How?"). As in, he is inviting that part of the conversation into his space. He'll lean most toward Beelzebub's throne, even making sure to place his hand on the seat. The seat is to Crowley's own left, which is akin to the passenger seat in his car.

Crowley never stands up from the throne and only leans too far forward possibly at the end and possibly on accident. Beelzebub's "So if you hear anything..." is good enough to end the conversation, and that was a conversation where they were not invited. Crowley himself has no further questions and no further interest in actually being in Hell. The intel gathering is done. As such, the space reads that business is done and sends him back to the car instantly, whether Crowley intended for that exact thing to happen or not.

Shax in the Car

Crowley allowed Shax in by not verbally denying her entry and looking at where she would manifest. He kicked her out by non-verbally revving up his car even more after doing it once and giving her a second look. The home base understood it was about to de-activate and kicked her out.

The Park

The park would probably be considered a human space.

To my best estimates, his sideburns are a little longer than what their usual intended shortness is when he finishes driving.

The park is not a home base environment, but Crowley takes certain steps allowing the space to become more his own that might explain the slightly longer length.

The main step at work seems to be the newspaper, which is probably his intended earthly object eventually. Because he holds it with only two fingers on his right and has other touches in place, such as his back to the bench and his arm on arm rest, the newspaper actually gets to act as a door to his own space. At least, I think that's what happening based on my earthly objects analysis overall.

If it's not the newspaper, then it is the stillness. What does stillness do? I'm not entirely sure. Based on this context, I would guess it helps him be sensed or seen. Besides Nina later, humans don't usually approach Crowley, but one does before Shax later shows up.

The park itself is probably a more familiar place to Crowley compared to other human spaces too.

When each of the characters he speaks with show up, there is no interaction from him to them until he deliberately pulls the newspaper down from his face. That is to say, he passes through his threshold to talk to them.

His sideburns seem generally the same length during the scene.

Activation Points

The proper border for short and long is hard to explain, but when I say "longer" below, I am looking for length beyond what you see before Crowley enters the coffee shop and walks across the street with Aziraphale when they leave. Both scenes show us multiple angles of his face for comparison to the rest of the season.

Activation Points for longer sideburns:

-The bookshop under the right conditions

-The Bentley under the right conditions

-The pub (dependent on its threshold)

-The music shop (dependent on its threshold)

-Hell (likely qualifying through the Bentley)

-Heaven (likely qualifying through the pub)

-The park (see above, might be considered iffy by others)

What are the right conditions for the bookshop to make Crowley's sideburns longer?

Longer seems to be a default reading actually. It's more like certain exceptions must not be met.

-No individual angel claiming to be human

AND

-Not in the private room with Aziraphale after encountering Gabriel

AND

-Not alone before an angel activates the effect.

The sideburns will be longest in any significant angel encounter that has an angel who is not Aziraphale and not pretending to be human. Those scenes are:

Scenes with only Crowley and Gabriel

Scenes with only Crowley, Gabriel, and Aziraphale

The overall general scene with angels, demons, and two humans, where Crowley is actively trying to undo a declaration of war.

The scene with Muriel after everyone else has left.

There's a small chance they lengthened slightly after first encountering Muriel, then going to talk to Aziraphale in the private room, but I can't really tell.

What are the right conditions for the Bentley to make Crowley's sideburns longer?

-Not directly shown but hinted to be staying parked for a long enough time with him inside or possibly a long enough time in a preferred familiar area to the car.

-Standing at the threshold with utmost precision in the season's ending

Throwing away mail shows longer sideburns, which again, I am guessing means he was parked long enough before he exited.

The sideburns will be longest at the season's ending. I currently think it is because of stillness and how his touch is focused exclusively on the threshold.

Activation Points for shorter sideburns:

-Driving the Bentley for a long enough time after de-activating it as a home base.

-Exiting far enough away from the bookshop, assuming the bookshop already activated longer sideburns. This distance expands during the story, explained further below.

-Being present in human spaces. Thresholds can both force and counter this effect, dependent on their design.

-Entering a private room with Aziraphale within the bookshop shortened them from the bookshop's main first floor after encountering Gabriel.

Connecting the Two Home Bases

During the specific season 2 story, Crowley regularly parks his car across the street from the bookshop, generally by the coffee shop.

In episode 1, once Crowley reaches the middle of the street and starts to count to ten, the sideburns are a shorter length that better matches before he entered the bookshop.

In episode 2, we see Crowley with longer sideburns right before he crosses the threshold whereas episode 1 showed them still short. At some point he leaves and is seen with short sideburns again, across the street.

In episode 3, Crowley exits the bookshop to interact with Shax. He never crosses the street and remains mostly along the sidewalk. Still, it might be considered further in distance and longer for the sideburns than seen in episodes 1 and 2.

In episode 4, when Crowley exits the bookshop, his sideburns are again longer than the usual shortness around humans up to that point of the story. Episode 1 is structured to tell us that the sideburns get shorter from the bookshop threshold to the center of the street. Episode 4 shows us the sideburns did not get shorter from the bookshop threshold to the center of the street. They stayed longer.

Why?

Crowley and Aziraphale connected their home bases for when the Bentley is parked across the street, intentionally or not. I think it is intentional, but I have a very loose grasp on a possible reason.

So, how did they connect their home bases?

Aziraphale borrowed Crowley's car. Crowley borrowed Aziraphale's bookshop.

Put another way, Aziraphale inhabited Crowley's home base without Crowley for a certain amount of time and distance. Crowley inhabited Aziraphale's home base without Aziraphale for a certain amount of time and distance. Both time and distance contribute to changing the length from each of these homes.

Crowley and Aziraphale remotely contact each other once during this borrowing phase. Assuming this effect is memory-related, those spaces now share those memories.

When Crowley and Aziraphale take Crowley's plants, living things that inhabited one home base, then another, during this process, they are finalizing this connection.

The plants will now have memories of being in each space, and each space will now have memories of the plants inhabiting them.

I don't know how much the plants were necessary, but they are a significant part of Crowley's home at the very least.

Yes, despite Crowley's obvious reluctance and discomfort with loaning his car and my not fully understanding why, I think forming this connection was intentional from both of them, not like with super confidence, just the way I see Aziraphale look at the bookshop and look at Crowley. Crowley has a chance to see for himself by looking at the mirror in his car when putting the plants away. They are small clues.

All the same, back to my main stuff. My theory is the home base border along the center of the street has disappeared. It might actually be more like a radius around the bookshop that has expanded, but that's the main place the border is understood to exist.

Onto my loose grasp of a possible reason.

This connection, this disappearance of that border, does not protect the rest of the street from the incoming demon invasion when it starts. The demons enter the area without invitation.

After Crowley enters the bookshop for the ball, no humans, as best I can tell, no humans are on the street. There is a bunch of fog, and it's dark, and there are demons. Eventually, there will be an angel there, but there are no humans.

Crowley escorts some humans to safety to exit the bookshop. However, when he dismisses them, we don't really see where they go. The story cuts away and when we are back to Crowley's location, they are gone.

There are other times we've seen Crowley in or near his car with longer sideburns and no humans.

The basic idea is that the space surrounding Crowley's car, that we've been seeing, has split itself into two different spaces at once. One is the Earth where humans do what they do, as usual, but are now not disturbing Crowley while he is in his car. The other is the Earth where Crowley does what he does, not being disturbed by humans until the driving time deems otherwise. The "no humans" space is a supernatural-exclusive zone when it comes to angels, demons, and humans. For whatever it's worth, the only living natural beings I can find in the area are plants, inside and out of the car, and that one fly before Beelzebub shows up inside the car (assuming that fly is indeed natural).

Instead of a person, such as Crowley, being two places at once, one place becomes two places at once. The car being Hell, and the pub being Heaven further support this idea. Each of those spaces are accessed when Crowley has the longer sideburns and in that zone to begin with.

The mechanics are confusing with the flies, I don't fully get it, but it probably relates to the car having thresholds in a wider supernatural space.

In the case of the ball, the split didn't just happen by accident or through time alone. Crowley's car is near the bookshop, but he wasn't in it, and it wasn't in its usual isolated area. The window is open on the morning of the ball but closed when he talks to Nina, so we're never shown when it's being switched from open or closed.

There is a very specific point where things start to change, but before that, there are also some specific things that happen. Namely, during each ball invitation shown on camera, Crowley accompanies Aziraphale. He does not say anything during the actual inviting and makes some effort to touch an earthly object. Mrs. Cheng is a special case, but there is a touch against Aziraphale's shoulder while Aziraphale is speaking in a foreign language with Mrs. Cheng that ultimately counts. It's too varied to get even further into how these touches are different, because my main point is he does them.

He also makes self-touches on both his clothing and his skin. In the times where he does not have visible skin contact touches, he is doing something with his pockets that probably still end up somehow counting as the missing skin contact touch.

Once every such location has had Crowley do the necessary touches, finishing off with the wine he takes with him, he moves onto the specific point where things are about to change.

He goes to the bookshop and approaches Gabriel in basically Demon Mode. The music has a hint of foreboding. The subtitles include "drunkenly" when he first talks. There's an underlying menace in his entire demeanor from the start. He forces a light on with "Let there be light." He removes his sunglasses with a subtle demonic hiss. He uses his left hand to do the removal, which is the only time he ever uses that hand for that purpose of the three times it is done at all. The story provides a notable view of his long right sideburn. His eyes are fierce, and his voice grows increasingly fierce too.

The simple words "Did Not Care For it" are capitalized in the subtitles. They sound like a threat even though he's not threatening to do anything. He calmly tells Gabriel to jump out the window.

It all seems to settle down once he realizes Gabriel's obeying him without question. There's that rank hint again.

I digress. What I'm trying to say is, I think Crowley was drawing out his own demonic energy to start the split, a shift from one zone to the other.

Now it doesn't look intentional for the shift at all from everything else happening within the scene. It's meant to feel how it does on its own in the full context of the entire story with what we know of both characters. The main hint of the intention is actually from the consistency of the ball invitations. The story makes sure Crowley leaves with a wine bottle and glass from the restaurant, then arrive with a wine bottle and glass in the bedroom where the scene takes place. I definitely can't tell you how or why or what mechanics are at work, but I sense that they are. That's a noticeable pattern that might explain how the humans collectively invited to the ball are temporarily allowed in the supernatural zone.

The shift from one zone to the other is not instant. It's happening while Crowley is out in the street to make sure Maggie and Nina are on their way. The street is growing increasingly foggy as it is getting darker. Fewer and fewer humans are around as time passes.

It doesn't really seem to be completed until Maggie is walking toward the bookshop with Nina not long before her as next-to-last. Maggie herself is a human, but she seems to be a special type of human not explained in the story as to how or why she is different. Nina could be too even if it's not as obvious. She is next-to-last.

If one excludes Maggie because she is human in some capacity, then it's probably done when Crowley himself enters the bookshop as a means to complete the matter, further confirmed with Shax arriving through the supernatural elevator in the pub instead of wherever the rest of the demons came from. The story referred to such a place as "stairs" when Shax was planning the invasion. An elevator is decidedly not stairs. It definitely raises questions about Shax with that kind of timing and wording.

Another thing about this special zone is that the Bentley is the only car around once the shift is done.

Speaking of the car, Crowley won't just drive away to re-merge these spaces. Not only that, he's not going back into that bookshop despite the indications in the dialogue he would.

Nope.

Instead, he goes to Heaven and spends time there until the war declaration goes off. Upon returning the following day, the merge has happened, either through the time itself or just the reset of the day. Sure, it could be the halo blowing up, but the people aren't shown as being in the street until Crowley himself is visibly there

So, if Crowley and Aziraphale wanted to protect the street overall from the incoming invasion but somehow still needed this ball to happen with some humans, that's what they did to protect everyone as best they could.

It might even be a trial run for needing to protect Earth on a much bigger scale later.

Now, admittedly, he did seem alarmed by the demons arriving, but both he and Aziraphale have been acting in certain ways to throw off whoever or whatever is reading them throughout this story.

By making the border disappear, or expand, that meant that once Crowley entered the bookshop on the implied Thursday, his sideburns could not become their usual shortness around humans until after he had driven for enough time and far enough away from the bookshop. He did not take that action and receive that shortness until right before the ending credits.

I suspect the sideburns do more than all of that since they seem connected to memory in some way.

The Bigger Thresholds Trick

This part of The Sideburns Scheme is likely a significant crossover with The Earthly Objects Game as one of the Threshold Tricks Crowley does during Good Omens 2. Much of the content below was written before I recognized the existence of these tricks and is still relevant to the sideburns overall.

There are three special threshold locations, but we'll talk about a certain two first.

Those locations are the pub and the music shop. They are human-specific locations that make it quite difficult to develop theories like the one about the connection and the other about the existence of a supernatural zone.

During the story, both locations have one thing in common that seems to have nothing to do with Crowley.

Both locations have an encounter with a human who remembers a meeting from some years ago and say as much to Aziraphale. Mr. Brown brings up this meeting while Crowley is busy getting drinks and describes the time frame as "several years ago" (I used to think "ten", sorry). Mr. Arnold brings up the meeting with Crowley standing at the door, describing the time frame as "ten years ago". Both of them mention lights ("winter street lights", "Christmas lights"). This might not be the exact same meeting, but the similarity is nonetheless there.

Their encounters also both have significant contrasts to each other.

Mr. Brown is met in a very busy pub with a lot of humans around. It's much bigger than the music shop.

Mr. Arnold is met alone in his music shop, which is quite small in comparison to the pub.

I've considered the idea that Mr. Brown is a human who has false memories about this meeting given to him by the Metatron to setup the present day Thursday night meeting. I have no reason to believe Mr. Arnold is setup in the same way. Mr. Arnold doesn't actually want to go to the present day meeting at all.

Heaven is not expected to be a human space, but it shares a connection with the pub. That is the third special threshold we'll discuss here.

All three of these locations have thresholds bigger than Crowley. Being bigger alone is not enough. Crowley manages each one of these special thresholds in a different way.

Let's go.

The Pub

The pub's threshold starts with a door frame when entered. It has two wooden doors with windows. It also has a panel along the door frame's right side leading further into the space. The panel does not end with a door. There is a post to parallel the end of the panel on the other side.

The length between the door and this panel is the threshold. That's enough space to be bigger than Crowley.

Because the threshold has two doors and two different types of ends, it also has two lanes, one for each door. The right door has a threshold from it to the end of the panel. The left door has a threshold from it to the post on the wall.

While we do not see Crowley's sideburn length before he entered, the camera zoom into the pub sign actually does show us, below the sign, that only the right door is open.

The story does not show Crowley switching lanes on camera, but to me, that seems to be the most likely action he did. His red-headed figure can be spotted behind obscure glass on the panel trailing Aziraphale. The rug he is walking on might be some kind of indication that he is in the left lane since Aziraphale is probably in the right lane and not walking along the rug at all.

When Crowley exits, he sticks to the lane by the panel and door that will make the sideburns short. If it makes any difference, the right door that is open, is open inward toward the space of the threshold instead of outward toward the street.

A possible factor I don't understand is that Crowley parked his car near the pub instead of the coffee shop that particular episode.

The Music Shop

The music shop's threshold starts with a hole in a wall and leads to a door.

It is also bigger than Crowley.

But Crowley entered the music shop, right?

Crowley is touching the door with his hand, then his back the entire time he is visibly on camera in that space. Sometimes it looks like he's shifted position between shots, but the main thing is the camera watching him when it is watching him sees that he is still touching that door. It's probably significant that this door has a window, and Crowley's touching that too with his back. All the same, the threshold still considers him as in its space instead of the music shop's space because he never let go of the door.

Which then begs the question...how and why did he know to do exactly that for exactly that scene? That entire setup suggests that he fully meant for that outcome or to learn it. Aziraphale is checking. Yes, he's giving away a book and catching Crowley off guard and thinking about how to get the ball with a dance going, but he is still checking that the longer sideburns are there. The story literally shows us that location receiving a mark on a paper for being done! No other locations get a mark, just that one!

So, a similar question is begged for the pub since a similar encounter happened. There was a human who remembered a meeting from some years ago and says so to Aziraphale.

One memory, by all appearances to me, seems to be fake. Mr. Arnold's doesn't make any claims that mismatch anything Aziraphale claims to remember.

But...he just coincidentally brings up such a similar memory in such a similar context of Crowley maintaining longer sideburns? While in a presumed human space unless one considers threshold size, two-lane management, and touching the door? I have no explanation. What good does having that memory recalled in front of Crowley do?

Heaven

So, if Hell qualifies through the Bentley, does Heaven qualify through the pub?

Yes, but I'm not sure how. I'm sure based on intuition.

The truly easiest, most basic thing is that Crowley doesn't press the elevator button and avoids touching the doors for the overall entrance. It's still worth explaining how this entry and design is so different.

Crowley enters and exits this threshold first. That is, by far, the most confusing thing he does. Admittedly, not long before this part, Crowley also crossed an open threshold first with Mrs. Sandwich next to him, implied and then confirmed arm in arm. Still, he was not first before Mrs. Sandwich. He was first with Mrs. Sandwich. Furthermore, that scene has a specific context of getting humans out safely instead of the more standard movement of just passing through a door to get from one place to another for other reasons.

In general, over the story, Crowley crosses thresholds alone or with Aziraphale. The other closest thing resembling crossing a threshold with someone else is Elspeth. She enters first, with him following, in The Resurrectionist minisode. That scene is a little suspect as it is, but even so, he wasn't first.

Upon entering the Heaven elevator, Crowley turns around such that two elevator doors are behind him and three elevator buttons are to his left. In turn that means that the doors behind Crowley are to the left of a front view of the buttons. Muriel hesitates but eventually joins, also turning around, and even listens to Crowley's request to close the doors.

The lighting and distance make it difficult to see just what his sideburn length actually is, but around when Muriel closes the doors, the sideburns look to be a medium length. They are past the standard shortness of being around humans and shorter than being around Gabriel when humans aren't around. That's largely been the length during the ball with some questionable hints of reaching full length at times but being hard to tell.

When Shax looks toward the elevator going up, the pub doors can still be seen on Earth. Later, there is a wall seen on exit that could be what took the place of the doors, but it's not explicitly demonstrated in the story.

Later, two of the buttons from within the elevator are shown from a front view. From that front view, reflections and lights suggest the elevator doors are opening on the right instead of the left.

Just like the wall, the story does not explicitly demonstrate if Crowley and Muriel turned around yet again.

I do believe that Heaven is supposed to be the pub, so it's rather curious that the story is working so hard to avoid confirming that, even on some level implying otherwise with the blocking. If the potential wall that formed where the pub doors were simply became another set of elevator doors, that would make Heaven the street outside the pub instead of in the pub, which seems unlikely.

There is a little clue in that when the elevator is summoned, the pub lights up a little within itself and outside where the elevator would be.

Another thing about this threshold is that if Crowley and Aziraphale moved that border from the center of the street...that might have been part of an expanding radius, would the sideburns be longer anyway? It's not like we could know!

Not pressing the button and avoiding the doors is the easiest explanation, but then why does Crowley make sure to move first? Honestly, I give up. I'm just going to tell you what my intuition is telling me. That move is for whatever is happening with that miracle sound right before Aziraphale enters later. It is more for season 3 or season 2's link leading up to season 3. The bookshop doors are open during this entire Heaven visit. The bookshop has a broken window during this entire visit. Somehow, these things matter and are part of a bigger plan happening in the background of the story.

But back to the entry all the same.

When Crowley does pass through the elevator doors, his hand is touching the wall inside, which is likely an earthly object touch to initiate the scene.

All that said, I believe the Heaven threshold still considers Crowley as inside its space.

The sideburn length seems to remain the same. It is a length close to when Crowley is around Gabriel yet not quite getting there, seeming to stop just short of it.

During Crowley's time in Heaven, the story puts a lot of effort into teaching us something about Crowley if we haven't figured it out by now. Well, sort of. The something is more evident to anyone willing and wanting to look for this type of information frame by frame. Crowley, for the most part, does not see people with his eyes. That is likely true of most other things as well.

His entire body language constantly tells us otherwise. He snakes his way about among pillars when talking to Muriel about bees. He glances back after passing Michael and Uriel. He turns his head in the direction of voices when he hears multiple angels discussing things on different screens. He taps Muriel on the shoulder directly. He knows to look downward to Saraqael's position. He even glances Saraqael's way without hearing them speak first at one point. He knows where to look toward Muriel when telling them, "You too." Everything about Crowley's movement tells us Crowley sees the angels.

Only one thing and one thing only informs us Crowley is not seeing the angels but is sensing them with his eyes instead.

Check his sunglasses.

His sunglasses will reflect panels of light, sometimes blurred panels of light, but they never ever reflect an angel in this tremendously well lit space with Muriel dressed in their all white Inspector Constable attire.

Most especially, check when Crowley turns to Muriel after they said, "That's pretty good, actually." He turns his head. They are literally on screen together. There is part of a more solid-looking white pane that's a light or something on the desk. We can see his eyelid. Move to the next frame, and we still see panels of light.

We do not see Muriel.

There are other times in the story where you can actually catch a reflection of a character in Crowley's sunglasses that threw me off. I saw it once when he was talking to Aziraphale by the car in episode 2 and again when talking to Muriel in episode 3. I think there's even Mrs. Cheng in episode 5, but I don't have the energy to decipher or further comment on that. She's special. The end.

Later on, close to the end of season, the sunglasses have reflections of people and movement, but that's a truly special case involving windows and thresholds though long sideburns are there too. If anything, much of this Heaven visit with the lights, light reflections, and lacking other reflections, are to help us understand how special the ending is. For a more in-depth explanation, here is a link to a post I made about it: Earthly Objects Study - Windows Part 2 (Good Omens 2).

Moving on, both of those times I saw reflections of Aziraphale and Muriel, the angel being reflected is actually holding an object and deliberately showing Crowley that object.

Crowley might be seeing them because he is seeing them holding something—with intent at that! Such things were also earthly objects.

Now onto the exit.

First off, we don't see them all get in or get out. The story gives us two little clues that Crowley was still first and hence, another clue, that it might indeed matter. Toward the elevator, he leads with Saraqael and Muriel following. Away from the elevator, he leads with entry into the bookshop.

Now during the trip for the exit, we see something interesting besides the fact that we have conveniently missed whatever led to Michael and Uriel being there.

This scene is so quick in its standard speed that it's easy to dismiss.

Those four angels are looking at him, right?

In my opinion, no, no, they are not. I am a little less sure after grasping how Crowley's sight works, but still...consider it.

They sure look like they are looking at him.

By Crowley starting his exit and maintaining touch on the threshold's door, he has become invisible to them. They probably saw him enter the elevator. We, as the audience, know that there is something special about maintaining touch on the door at the end of using a threshold as an entrance.

Now we see him do it during an exit by keeping a small part of his upper back against the door.

This scene is more like the angels are looking at his invisibility, not at Crowley himself. That's why they have the mixed reactions that they do.

Michael looks incredulous. Muriel looks mildly scared and amazed at the same time, in reaction to his place, not the angels surrounding them. Uriel looks annoyed. Saraqael remains neutral. Muriel's is the one I consider our biggest clue for reaction.

He's not reflected in the closer view of their eyes, but I can't say that happens much for the story or characters overall.

The elevator's surface is reflective and shows bigger shadows around the angels. There is no reflection or shadow to tell us Crowley is there when we see the angels. Muriel's white helmet is probably at least a little reflective. Still nothing.

Well, could it still be that they can see him and just have those thoughts on Crowley? I could just somehow be missing it, right?

Yes, of course. We're going to keep playing along.

Uriel starts to look down, soon followed by Muriel, as the light starts to go up as Crowley's appearance changes. The light itself might be allowing them to see him as it travels, but the story doesn't tell us. Instead, it alerts us very pointedly that the only thing reflected in his sunglasses are the lights along the side and maybe behind Muriel.

He says, "Funny old world, isn't it?" because those angels are now forced to trust a demon in their shared space of this threshold, and each side is invisible to the other. He senses them with his eyes and not seeing them, but the reverse is probably not true for at least Muriel and Uriel. Saraqael gets a pass on being shown. Michael is the biggest hint of an exception since Michael does not look down.

The Season 2 Ending (The Door Trick)

Just like with the bigger thresholds, this part of the sideburns scheme actually crosses over with the earthly objects game (Threshold Tricks). Much of the content below is about The Door Trick. Some of it is a mix of before I recognized it for being that, and some of it is the latest I've had to change due to what I learned about pocket touches. Just like with the bigger thresholds, I still consider the content in general relevant enough to keep here.

The end of season 2 chooses to show us a context we haven't actually seen despite seeing Crowley, his car, and this street as much as we have throughout the episodes.

This scene is extremely difficult to analyze for sideburns because of how much the sideburns depend on everything else. They're the longest length but don't seem to be quite as thick as when around Gabriel in the bookshop.

Based on all of the information available to me, the length is from a combination of his stillness and maintaining a threshold-only touch on the upper panel of the door to his car. That's not based on intuition this time like with Heaven. These things have mattered in other places, so that's why I'm looking at them now as part of the possibility. And there is A LOT despite how simple it all looks on the surface. This character is precise in his choices when it comes to whatever this scheme really is.

Let's start with how the context is different.

The most noticeable thing is that Crowley is a lone supernatural entity among a lot of humans. Muriel is presumably around the area somewhere, but they are not on camera for the parts I am going to discuss. I am taking that, from the story's meaning, Muriel is not why the sideburns are this length at this time.

Other demons and angels are gone. Aziraphale is part of this scene, but there is a distance between him and Crowley, probably enough that we're supposed to think it's not directly because of Aziraphale's proximity either. The same goes for the Metatron.

This scene was how it clicked with me that the length was determined by the space, not the presence of angels or demons or humans directly. They're all too far to say that this length is from them. It's the car and Crowley himself...because the car is Crowley's own space, his own home...that he connected with Aziraphale at that. This length is still different from being near or in the car in previous scenes. Well, he's doing some things that make it different.

Doors are thresholds, and most doors in this story have earthly objects on them, such as a doorknob or a window pane. Most touches on the door from the characters in the show are indeed on these earthly object parts, most especially the doorknob. Crowley's door to his car has a handle. It also has a window, which just so happens to be open in the first shot we'll see of him. There's no window pane there to get in the way of the things he's going to do.

Besides the touch on the door and the stillness, there are some other things he's doing.

He has his right hand in his pocket except for his thumb.

This part right here is crucial. The stillness is quite likely related to this thing. Every touch in The Pocket Trick has at least some movement. This touch is not part of The Pocket Trick, and that is one of many differences.

Pocket touches require extreme care in how they are done. When first realizing the scale of what they are, it feels like everything matters when it comes to the pockets. That may still be true. I cannot fully understand them. If it's not everything, it's still a lot. The sun beaming down on him and hitting the light where it hits him, especially his head? That is quite likely because of the pocket touch. It is the strongest source of light on Earth while not actually being an earthly object on Earth providing a light source. There is a car behind reflecting light toward him as well. It might be acceptable or even helping because of the sun.

Understanding pocket touches is overwhelming. I'm still working through it, so I cannot cover everything.

I will still cover some parts below.

As mentioned earlier, there are a lot of humans. Humans have a notable presence when it comes to the pocket touches.

Crowley's legs are crossed to help him lean onto the car in the specific way for this scene. By having them crossed the way he does, there is no space between them. Somehow, that's going to make them a Double touch for what he's going to do soon.

Though we see the legs, we do not see his feet.

Before Aziraphale enters that elevator, we are given three different camera shots that all look like Crowley is standing incredibly still as the scene progresses.

The first shot shows the lean, the hand in the pocket, and the sleeve of his right arm on the upper panel, deliberately avoiding the roof. As the camera starts to pan, there is an ever so tiny gap in his sleeve as if to help alert us that he is not touching the window frame, despite what the incoming angle would otherwise suggest. While we cannot see his feet, the angle is enough that we should conclude they are not touching the edge of the sidewalk. The edge of the sidewalk is a threshold, but it's not a threshold Crowley wants to touch in this scene. The window frame is probably a physical threshold for the window he's avoiding.

The camera pans, and you can see the longer sideburns if you check. His left hand and some of his forearm are not touching the door, including his watch. The thumb of the left hand is not easily visible with the other digits. Of what can be seen of the left thumb, much of it is cast in shadow. That's on purpose for the pocket touch. The left thumb joint is not as deeply cast in shadow, and that too is on purpose for the pocket touch. Those touches greatly depend on the left thumb joint. The index fingertip is visible. The other fingertips are not visible.

The scene moves back to Aziraphale, then back to Crowley.

Crowley is still standing quite still with his hand in his pocket. His left hand is partly obscured by the car's front side lining or whatever it's called. This story really likes the number three, and this shot is the second one. I can barely tell you what is significant about this shot because I'm only starting to understand it. The way Crowley's stance is set up is that there are actually multiple closed pockets between him and the car. There is one notably bigger than the others between the door and the left side of his jacket. Eventually, a human passes by who does have their left hand in their pocket. Through the closed pocket between the jacket and the car, there is an illusionary vertex touch to Crowley's jacket, probably in a good position as well due to the arm lines up if Crowley actually were using a pocket.

As things tend to go in other pocket touches, the left thumb joint is supposed to make a vertex touch to Crowley's jacket, or do so with assistance from the watch. So, this vertex touch from the human, and Crowley's overall stance being what it is with where his hand and watch are, somehow gets the job done or whatever version of the job it's supposed to be for this different type of touch.

The scene moves back to Aziraphale with that miracle sound and his reaction. He slightly turns his head toward Crowley as best he can manage.

Now we get a third shot of Crowley.

This time, there are touches, but they aren't just any touches either.

It's mostly a front view of the edge of that door but that will suffice. Pocket touches heavily involve edges, and edges are thresholds.

The watch is touching the door.

There are three skin contact touches on the door. One of them is the skin between his watch and his sleeve. Another is the right side of his palm. The third is a triple with three digits of his fingers collectively together. Their fingertips are not visible; it's hard to tell even when zoomed in and checking a screenshot. His index finger is decidedly not part of the touch, and that fingertip is visible. That touch is ready to use the pocket touch to its full advantage. Crowley has a full visible set of digits for a hand.

I have not gone over what each piece of apparel does here because the main thing I know is that they are probably all doing something. The tie, the belt, the shirt, and the vest are positioned the way they are, and have been positioned the way they are, in each shot for this pocket touch to help the door touch.

If the hand does something like share the touch because of how each digit has been shown, which I do believe it does, the main thing he's touching, especially with his thumb, is his pants, which have the double touch due to the legs being crossed.

Altogether, that gives Crowley a triple skin contact touch, a double clothing touch, and a single accessory touch on the door.

That act, that set of touches, is The Door Trick, and those extra touches within are multipliers on it.

Another thing found when trying to figure out the pockets while still not fully getting there is that even though The Door Trick is done, it sort of shoots a chain of the pocket touch to Aziraphale. Then Aziraphale has to make specific moves of his own to get in the elevator and framed in the exact way he is along with the Metatron. The Metatron has his right hand fully in his pocket. One of the curious ways The Pocket Trick works is the obvious intent and extent of using puns to figure out the puzzles of the touches.

As such, I believe Aziraphale's part that follows Crowley's is supposed to be...The Door Catch. The name is inspired by the story's focus of The Bullet Catch in episode 4, and the fact that we're chained in from a Trick about a door, that took advantage of a pocket touch.

Despite so much depending on the pocket touch, those longest-length sideburns have been there.

The sideburns have been long without pocket touches, so one would guess it's not all about the pocket though the pocket still did a ton for the touch.

Speaking of sideburns, Crowley's sideburns don't change during all of this. At least, from what we can tell. The second two shots further away from him are still enough to tell us those sideburns are long.

Every shot had Crowley being still, like really, really still.

While that might be part of the pocket touch, he was also quite still in his first present day scene with no pockets involved.

I don't know what the stillness really does. As mentioned way back, maybe it helps him be sensed in this case since Aziraphale wasn't looking his way until that miracle sound happened, besides fulfilling pocket touch requirements.

Since Heaven was accessed explicitly when the supernatural-exclusive zone was active, if indeed such a zone existed, I do believe The Door Trick granted access. After that, Aziraphale still had to do his own part to get in with The Door Catch.

Please see the following if you want a more image-focused and simplified post about these things happening.

The Door Trick Visual Representation

After this Threshold Trick, there is only one left after Aziraphale leaves, which is The Window Trick.

Here is a link describing it:

The Window Trick

A lot of physical touching is avoided in being shown during that windows sequence. The song might have something going on too, but that type of analysis is beyond my capability with how it might link to sideburns, windows, and thresholds.

Short sideburns at long last appear before the end credits and with them are faint physical touches within the car once again.

The end. I update this post a lot as I reach new realizations, just FYI.

If you read only one of the rest of the links below, this one is probably best:

Crowley S2 Hair Post #10 (angry lightning walk)

More here if you really want to go deep into my findings, still being edited as I learn things:

Episode 1: The Arrival

Post #1 (meeting with Shax in St. James' Park)

Post #2 (meeting with Shax in the street)

Post #3 (phone call with Aziraphale in the Bentley)

Post #4 (entering the coffee shop)

Post #5 (revisiting park scene for zoom and blur weirdness)

Post #6 (being in the coffee shop)

Post #7 (crossing the street from the coffee shop to the bookshop)

Post #8 (finding out Gabriel is in the bookshop)

Post #9 (fragile existence)

Post #10 (angry lightning)

Post #11 (being summoned)

Post #12 (being in Hell)

Post #13 (before driving to the bookshop)

Post #14 (driving to the bookshop)

Post #15 (fixing coffee shop power)

Post #16 (hiding Gabriel)

Episode 2: The Clue

Post #17 (meeting with Shax in the car)

Post #18 (the pub)

Post #19 (crossing the street from the pub to the bookshop)

#crowley s2 hair project #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #david tennant #crowley #good omens meta #good omens analysis #good omens season 2 #Crowley's sideburns

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