#longer than i intended but wasn't sure where it was going anyway lol

[blitz0hno]

Drabble about the whole mikotosys-night-terror chronicles cuz I don't get to write much.

Post trial 2: Mikoto, still deep in denial (although deep denial doesn't mean ur as unaware as you let on/feel all the time), cries himself to sleep again. He hates the long-time habit, but thinking about his life up to this point, especially now... It makes sense, and unfortunately a lot more starts to make sense too.

It was happening again.

Mikoto was laying on the bed in his cell, staring at the ceiling. It was the only time he knew which way was up these days.

And today had been long, and stressful.

Why must he be this kind of person?

Chained up and interrogated.... Es trying to explain why the words "I saved you" echo in his mind.... a fuzzy ringing in his ears overtaking seemingly every conversation he had with the warden; Mikoto did his best to be attentive but was purely pretending. He was sure he dreamed the crime he was accused of, sure of it. It wasn't real, he couldn't do that! He had a future to look toward, and even if some people in his life were holding him back, his urge for quick relief had been but a horror-movie fantasy. A place for his brain to put his anger so he couldn't find it.

He had always wondered where his emotions went when he made them disappear. It didn't look good that nearly every moment now felt like a dream, either.

Answering questions with pen and paper had been particularly difficult. He didn't remember much of that either. He remembered the first couple questions. He remembered waves of frustration flooding his train of thought. He remembered feeling sick when he realized it was over and he thought he had only answered two or three out of the twenty questions.

Mikoto had started off this strange "Milgram" experience intrigued, but the more he thought about the events that led up to this "reality show," the more scared he got. He had always been a forgetful guy, but felt confident enough in his ability to keep track of important things. School, work, home duties, everything was always nearly lined up in his thoughts. Sometimes he had strong feelings about a task, but he was easily able to power through. He was oddly proud of that ability, from his adolescence up to his office job.

Sure, he had been picked on for living outside the city and never going anywhere. But he was reasonably popular with girls and very on top of his grades, which made other students like him well enough he supposed. No reason to feel lonely with how busy he was anyway. Taking care of home with his mom and sister, making sure he remembered to eat and study before shifts, and cramming for tests had all paid off, hadn't it?

He had a career he was passionate about, an end goal, and a stable job at a famous company. Although this job was... Not as glamorous as he had hoped. Nonetheless, he had worked so hard for it. He wouldn't just throw it away.

Not even when his meal times got shorter and shorter.

Not even when his boss made him redo weeks of work on a whim.

Not even when 60 hour weeks turned to 80 hours.

Not even when he broke down and cried after coming home to an onslaught of texts informing him of a deadline being shortened yet again.

He needed to sleep. Without sleep, he became irritated easily, and hiding it with a polite smile always left him with a permanent lump in his throat, as if he could burst into tears at any moment but wouldn't let it happen. When it all got too loud, Mikoto knew how to put it away for later.

Now was later, and he was crying.

He wished people listened to him. If they got to be cruel with no consequences, chain him to one thing or another, tell him to come and sit and stay until 3AM doing paperwork, he should get a say too. A say in how he was spoken to, in his rest, in his mind, anything.

But he second-guessed himself every time, coming up with nothing and doubling down on his polite diligent worker persona.

His chest heaved as he sobbed. How pitiful and pathetic, if they saw him like this. And to think everyone was scared of him now, not only because he apparently really killed people, but now more things he didn't remember were coming up. Torn up clothing he had tried so hard to laugh about reporting to Es; but all the morning he couldn't stop himself from crying, even through his mask. He had heard from others in the past that he talked in his sleep, but the noises? The shredding and screaming and destroying?

That was all new.

And embarrassing.

And mortifying.

Mikoto had no memory of any of it. He thought and thought, but only recalled feeling overwhelmed, perceiving the stares and the body language around him as tense, and the rush of anxiety which was renewing itself again. Out of habit, he searched for the smile he always tried to force through the tears, even now that he was alone.

Another sob.

Alone.

And everyone knew it. His boss, his mom, his baby sister, his peers EVERYONE watched him go it alone, pushing and pushing and succeeding at any cost to himself. But that was the goal, too, to be left alone. Not screamed at, following the rules in place, breaking them if it meant a more pleasing outcome for his current audience. His breath picked up as he remembered every comment, every stare every sneer every nitpick EVERYTHING others did to belittle his hardest work. His sweat, blood, and tears turned into a cycle that kept piling more on his back.

He held his hands against his ears as his sobs turned to a choked wail. Again tonight, he felt like he couldn't stop himself. "I HATE THIS! I'm not smart enough to even remember what I do, not strong enough to even control myself! FUCK!"

Again his uniform shirt felt far too tight. The restraints he had become more used to were suddenly like snakes whose every movement he could feel through the fabric, writhing on his skin. Mikoto screwed his eyes shut and begged to disappear, pulling at the jumpsuit.

Then John screamed.

He tore, he ripped, he fell off the bed and threw himself against the wall as if it would give him more force against the restraints. He couldn't stop. He knew it was his fault, and he knew why it was his fault, but they were hurting Mikoto all the same.

John forcefully wiped the tears from his face. His breathing was ragged as he felt himself grabbing at his hair. This was bad.

He couldn't calm down. Mikoto was beyond upset, he was terrified. John's own anger and Mikoto's fear had them in a frenzy, their hands pulling at anything they could grasp. What could he do? He had to help Mikoto. After all, it was John's fault, John's anger, John's actions that caused him this agony. Mikoto wouldn't hurt someone like that. He couldn't!

"I COULD. I DIDN'T WANT TO!" A shriek escaped his mouth. John didn't feel like that words were his. He took a deep breath, one hand still keeping his hair in a death grip.

The other was over his mouth. John had heard enough of what the other prisoners were able to hear. He was sure that they would be punished if they were any louder; or maybe Mikoto was sure.

He just didn't know anymore.

"They were killing you," John whispered, voice strained. "Even if you didn't do i-"

The words caught in his throat, and John's breath hitched as he felt the world start to blur around him.

"I do remember that I wanted to," came a choked whisper from Mikoto. "I wanted nothing more. Those people - those men... My life was hell. I was too slow with turnarounds no matter how long I submitted before the deadline. They called me day and night like a dog to their side. And th- the way they spoke to me and my coworkers - realizing their contempt toward the working men alone but god the WOMEN-" He sobbed loudly, burying their head in his hands. "The- these are the people our baby sister gets to meet next. The ones our mom married, the ones who lie and cheat and demand and force- they should be GONE they SHOULD. BUT- but I never thought-" he trailed off, curled into a tense ball. He could hardly feel John anymore -

Oh god.

He could feel John.

Like another person in the room, he felt another presence almost by his side. Another sob turned into a laugh at the absurdity of it all. The warden had no dog - Mikoto did.

And it was himself.

And that's why there was another "him," blaming his newfound self for Mikoto's plans and actions.

He felt terrible, in a hundred different ways. "John, it wasn't your fa-" Mikoto stopped mid-sentence, torn between guilt for his other self and the terror of realization hitting. He pressed himself against the cold wall and breathed slowly as he could, suddenly overcome with a clammy, nauseous feeling.

It wasn't a dream.

Mikoto had been sick in his cell once before, during a particularly bad panic episode. He had cleaned it up well and told no one, but somehow he was still met with looks of concern and pity and fear ten times over the following morning. Damn thin walls. The already isolated prisoner was not about to let that happen again. He slumped against the wall, closed his eyes, and grit his teeth as the room spun, wanting only to sleep. If only he could shut down, wake up in his apartment and cry about his shitty day at his shitty job surrounded by shitty people that his shitty singular self did not kill.

The weight of that possibility leaving forever made him feel like he would never eat again.

John felt the pressure mounting in their head and body, powerless to help. Just behind front, able to listen to the perspective he'd been wishing to hear for so long, and unable to do a damn thing. After all the begging to be acknowledged, he still hadn't saved Mikoto. Not by a long shot.

They were both stricken with panic by now, John beginning to pace around the cell and breathing deeply to the point of pain. Anything to keep from spiraling, from causing a mess, from snapping again, from hurting someone or even needing them.

And then they froze, a third voice that felt equally unreal catching their attention. Difference was, she and another were outside themselves , and outside the door to their room.

"He's at it again..." John heard Kotoko sigh faintly, breathing shallow as he stood at a standstill. He was so at a loss that he forgot to be angry at her treatment of Mikoto. Mikoto wasn't a killer. John was. Leave Mikoto out of it, let him live without this pain. It's why John was here to begin with! Did he fail? Did he drive any other help away?

"Ugh. I'll wait here, as you requested. Give him this." John heard a small acknowledgement from Es as they took the mystery item. He flinched, bracing himself.

Were they chaining him up again? Drugging him? What did he get Mikoto into now??

Whether he knew it or not, Mikoto was feeling the same guilt towards John, ashamed for not having noticed and feeling cowardly for running from him.

"John..." Es brought the protector to attention, gently holding out a water bottle. He hadn't even registered that they opened the door. He stared for a second, feeling shamefully and ridiculously dog-like, but took the offering. "How did you know..."

"Because Mikoto puts on airs," Es replied plainly. "He would have forced a posture that was more relaxed, perhaps greeting me as 'Guard-kun.'" Their voice went up a tad as they imitated Mikoto's tone, first amusing and then startling John. Was the switch that obvious? Had he ruined any chance of Mikoto being normal again?

"So you can... You can tell. We really are that different?"

"Afraid so," Es replied. "John, do you two... Do you know how DID happens?" They stood across from him, gauging his reaction. John seemed to be struggling to stay grounded as he explained.

"We never thought we had any sort of amnesia... We once read that it happens when... Oh," John sighed. "I have no idea what happened. But I know... I know..."

"When a child is hurt badly over a period of time, in their very early stages-"

"Yeah I know how it goes." He snapped like John, but John felt the words come from elsewhere. The voice also sound absolutely defeated, the truth having come to reveal itself.

"Mikoto...?"

"..."

Mikoto felt.

He was aware, he knew what he was saying, but his voice was bitter and monotone. He didn't know what to feel. He just felt.

"I don't fuckin know anymore," he sighed. Es was not entirely convinced it was only him - his voice was cold, and while quieter than John's, Es wasn't even sure they had heard Mikoto curse before. Of course, Mikoto was subject to change as any other prisoner, and his demeanor almost reminded them of Fuuta's current state.

Mikoto took a deep breath, standing a little straighter. "I... Suspected it, when I heard about it from some class, and then forgot about it. But yeah, when a mother and a father hate each other, and possibly you, very very much... I know how it happens." His eyes darkened. "Life got better, I think, when Dad left. Mom wouldn't talk about him, and she'd get mad if I even said something that she thought he would... But I could tell she missed him. My baby sis seems okay for her age, on track development and all, but despite all the responsibility I could handle I could never quite get it right."

Es nodded thoughtfully. "So you were ridiculed and blamed for things you weren't even aware was upsetting to your parents? Did they take things out on you, because you were older?"

"I... I guess. I never thought it was that bad," Mikoto sighed. "But living on my own, I started to feel more and more disconnected. More angry, more paranoid... And I started having nightmares. I forgot about those for awhile too. When it started affecting my work, I even tried to forget I was stressed at all."

"Or rather, your mind helped you forget," Es mused.

"It should have stayed forgotten," the prisoner growled. "I can't believe I ruined everything, and I didn't even know it. John wanted to protect someone who forced him to exist because I COULDN'T protect me!" He pulled at the strap over his chest, struggling to keep composure. There was no trace of his fake smile.

"You didn't force anything," Es corrected him softly. "The brain is an organ that adapts to survive. Even had you known, it's not something that can be harnessed and commanded. It's adaptation." It was a simple matter-of-fact, complex as it was. Es hoped they had their facts straight now, anyway.

"So how do we go back to normal?!" Mikoto cried. His hands were shaking now and was sobbing again; he quickly realized how dizzy he was becoming. "I-I need to sit." He lowered himself back to the floor and slumped against the wall, arms childishly wrapped around his knees. He felt nothing but shame presenting himself this way. He was 23, he was a graphic design agent, a working man! He couldn't break down like this! He couldn't have it this bad! Even if he didn't even feel like himself at the moment, even if reality felt completely made up... "There's got- there's got to be a way to fix this."

To his surprise, Es didn't look at him with judgement or pity. The only thing that stood out was curiosity, and they gently sat beside him as they gathered their words. "It's not a matter of fixing, Kayano-kun. You all need... Healing," Es spoke carefully. They figured the nickname would do for now.

"Can't heal from a murder charge," the prisoner scoffed. Mikoto felt reality spin as John spat out his remark. John ran a hand through his hair, smoothing some parts and causing others to stick out awkwardly. "It's still my fault. Those urges, those feelings... They're mine to carry, to protect him from."

"John... maybe you can protect each other. Share the burden. It was one body and, according to Milgram, one prisoner. Maybe if you can forgive yourselves... Milgram will show me a better outcome for you both." That was the best Es could think of to help right now. To think it was upon them to say whether this man was forgivable; he had seen so much of the real world that they themselves had yet to remember, and they couldn't even imagine the stress of his perfectionist lifestyle on top of it all. They wanted to cry from how unfair it all was, but prisoner 009 was the priority right now.

As the warden... They had to do what they thought was best. They almost felt guilty for having Kotoko on standby, even though it was she who insisted. But that didn't mean Mikoto, or even John, was dangerous.

"I know I didn't do the right thing," Mikoto sighed, sitting up as he regained composure. "And it still doesn't feel real. I can almost feel the memory slipping again. It hurts, Guard-kun!" He gripped the sides of his head. Es instinctively reached gently for his hands to discourage him from pulling his hair out, and Mikoto flinched. He hit the barrier between them with his hands as he automatically covered himself.

"Shhh... Mikoto..."

"I'm sorry!"

"You didn't hurt me. I startled you," Es said. "Mikoto, you don't need to remember all the time. That's what your alter John, and any others there may be... Are for," they looked away, thinking bitterly about what may lie in their own memories. "It can hurt to remember, Mikoto. Sometimes it's even dangerous."

"I was dangerous when I didn't remember, too," Mikoto sniffed. "John... He wanted to protect us - protect me - so badly that we hurt a lot of things. Even you."

"Well as for me, Mikoto, my physical health is no worse for wear," Es replied. They were only partly lying - they were exhausted constantly, but John's outburst was long down the list of incidents by now. "I forgive you. Do you... Forgive you? Forgive John?"

"John... I barely know John..." Mikoto sighed, feeling defeated as the words he tried to form seemed to fade from his mind. "But I... I forgive his mistakes. I hope he can forgive me too." Mikoto then felt lightheaded again, but although his throat felt stuck and his chest was tight, his left hand gave a small thumbs up.

Es couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "Well, there you go."

Mikoto heaved a sigh, suddenly feeling more exhausted than ever. "Thank you..." He whispered. He began to cry again, but smiled a smile that seemed to come more from genuine gratitude than fear. "Thank you, Guard-kun. I know... John will be happier now. I'm... I'm really scared. But we don't have to be lonely."

Es stood up slowly, offering a hand to help him to the bed. 009 sat still on the floor for a moment, a small frown forming on his face as he took their hand. "It's... It's John." He whispered, although they were partly holding him upright, Milgram ignoring his presence and giving him away. It felt strange, announcing himself like that, but comfortable too. "I know we can't undo what we did... Thank you for helping Mikoto."

"You deserve help, too, John. Mikoto wants to be there for you, too," the small warden looked up at him with almost a sense of urgency, praying John wouldn't try to take it all on himself anymore.

"Well he can start..." John mused, "by not giving away my cigarettes anymore. How's that?"

"Oh yeah, he did tell me to stop giving those to him even if he asks. I think..." They almost didn't suppress a laugh as they walked the system to their cot; although the situation wasn't funny itself, it was an interesting process. "I think finding those over and over is when he knew he forgot more than he knew."

"Damn right..." John sat down on the bed, the body falling over nearly instantly.

"Goodnight, John-kun, Mikoto-kun," Es said softly, heading towards the cell door.

"Goodnight, and thank you again," John's low voice replied.

As they went out the door, they heard another.

"Oh! Goodnight, Guard-kun!" A soft whisper said from across the room. "...And thank you."

That night was the most restful sleep Mikoto's body had gotten in years. He almost felt like he could finally get used to this. He would never get used to "being a killer," though. He didn't know much about the social perception of DID, so he sure hoped that wasn't a general stereotype.

End.

[an-au-blog]

Omg i have an idea - Sanji prince set to marry the princess of Wano arc but she is in love with her bodygaurd Zoro. This makes sanji jealous of him and he in his free time does everything in his power to piss off zoro but zoro starts liking it. In reality he had never had hots for the princess, but the day he saw Sanji and his fighting skills, zoro was inexplicably drawn to him. So they start sparring together and arguing but they find it comforting in a way.

Will u elaborate this au ?? I would love to see you enhance it

Yesyesyesyes! I saw that (I just hate replying from my main and as far as ik I can't respond from a secondary)

This reminds me of a royal au art post that I see or come back to every so often like "I should probably write a royal au"

(anyways here i go... this turned out longer than intended lol:)

At first, Sanji would be so happy and anxious about meeting the princess. He's never seen her, it was an arranged marriage, but he heard that she is the most beautiful and elegant woman. So it was a huge shock when he arrived and all she would do was try to tend to her bodyguard or try chatting him up. Emphasis on the "try". The most he replied with was a huff or a grunt. Most of the time he acted like she wasn't even there. Even when she did talk to Sanji, the conversation somehow always circled back to her body guard.

It was all "Zoro this," and "Zoro that," and admittedly, Sanji could hesitantly agree that if what she was talking about him was true, he was a man of pride and honor. It still pissed him off.

Sanji was a bit disappointed on many levels. He wanted a nice date with his future wife. What was he thinking? The mossheaded brute? She could do so much better than that swordsman. What does he have that Sanji doesn't??? Not to mention that the guard was staring daggers into him the whole day.

At the end of their "date", the swordsman insisted on sending him off to where he'd be staying. He even offered to give him a tour of the city.

Sanji responded with a "I'd love to get a tour from miss Hiyori, but I don't want anything from you, mosshead."

They end up going anyway because the very next day...

Zoro to Hiyori: I should take him into town for a tour.

Hiyori: Yes that's a great idea! I could come too,

Zoro: No

Sanji: Yes

Zoro sweating: it uh... it won't be safe.

Through out the whole walk Sanji would keep saying things like "oh, how I wish my FUTURE WIFE could be with us now," and "do you think my FIANCE would like this if I bought here one?" to make sure Zoro knew that Sanji was the one who would marry her.

Zoro seemed irritated at first but it slowly started seeming more like sadness than anger. At one point Zoro turns and interrupts him, telling him that they're lost. Turns out not only were they lost, Zoro didn't know where they were going for a while now.

An insult turns into a snarky remark in return, which turns into a kick, turns into a fight. After they were all worn out from the fight, Sanji begrudgingly realized that he enjoyed sparing a bit too much. It was the most fun he had since he arrived. He would never admit it though.

Once they found their way back Sanji decides that he would try and be as close to his fiance as possible. If he flirted with her enough, the Marimo would get the hint.

On one hand it worked. Zoro seemed to get really angry whenever he flirted with her. Which usually ended with them sparring. Zoro would say some questionable things during their fights... so Sanji responded. It escalated to the most fucked up and homoerotic shit, to the point where people got used to leaving the room to give them privacy.

As the wedding approached, Sanji started seeing less and less of Zoro. When he asked Hiyori about it she always gave an answer that sounded extremely fake.

It didn't bother Sanji... until it did. He stormed every room until he found the mosshead meditating under a tree. Sanji didn't know what he was going to do, but it would definitely going to include a confrontation.

Sanji: Are you avoiding me shitty swordsman?

Zoro, not even opening his eyes: ...

Sanji: At first I thought you had left or that you were avoiding both me and Hiyori, but then I find out you were with her daily.

Zoro still not answering pissed Sanji off and was his sign to continue talking.

Sanji: I can't believe you'd try to seduce MY future wife behind my back like that! For all that talk about honor, you sure are dishonest!

Zoro finally snapping: I avoid you because I know she'll marry you, I'm doing this for her sake. I don't want to ruin her wedding.

Sanji: Oh, right you're stealing her from me for her sake.

Zoro: I'm avoiding you because if I see you I can't guarantee I can hold myself back from ending the engagement and running off with you.

Sanji, absolutely baffled with this answer. That was so much new information, he didn't know what to ask first. After a minute of gaping like a fish, Sanji started talking on auto pilot. An apparently "autopilot" was "bitchy": What makes you think I'd want that?

And when he thought Zoro would spit something back, Zoro looked up at him with the saddest most heartbroken look in his eyes: I don't.

It sounded more like an apology than an answer.

Sanji felt like his world shattered.

The swordsman stood up and paused for a bit. As if he was ready to do something that he would regret but stopped himself. Sanji would have done anything to know what he was going to do or say. But alas, felt frozen.

Zoro: It's okay, I told Hiyori I'm leaving after the wedding. I won't be bothering you and your wife anymore.

Walking away, Zoro couldn't help but think how much he wanted to rush back and give him a kiss farewell. One filled with all the passion, frustration and despair he'd be harboring until now.

[sarcastic-positivity]

(This is a one-shot I wrote based on the gerry x Tim roomates AU. It ended up a lot longer than I intended, but yk lol.)

Title: Another failed attempt at love

When Tim finally made it to the floor, his flat was on he stomped down the long hallway until he reached the door, where his flatmate, and more importantly, his bed was waiting for him.

He unlocked the door fumbling with his keys out of anger. He felt so stupid, he should've quit dating apps a long time ago but here we are. He shut the door louder than he intended and flinched at the realization. He wasn't sure if Gerry was awake or not, and he didn't want to risk waking that nightmare. Gerry needed his rest and lord help anyone who stand in his way.

But as soon as Tim turned to face the sitting room of his flat, if you could even call it that, he heard a raspy voice come from the unmoving figure sitting on the couch. "That bad huh?"

Gerry was sitting on the sofa, the only source of illumination being the graphics tablet sitting in his lap. His makeup was still on, though slightly smudged. Although Tim wasn't sure if that was intentional or not. Gerrys leather platforms were sitting off to the side in front of the couch as they usually sit, Tim was pretty sure there are dents in the dirty carpet where they sit.

"What are you a bloody vampire? Turn a light on!" Tim flipped the switch to his right and the room lit up. Gerry winced at the sudden light and indistinctly closed his eyes and tried to adjust.

"Unfortunately, no." The Gothic boy said sarcastically from where he sat. "So, did the date go well or not? You seem pissy."

Tim sighed and made his way across the room, "how difficult is it to pay for YOUR BLOODY MEAL!? He offered to pay or me! And then WHOOPS, forgot his wallet!" Tim waved his hands around to accentuate each word. He plopped down next to his flatmate as gracefully as a toddler doing a belly flop. "And I mean, I'm fine with paying for myself, but HE offered to pay! And then I had to pay for us BOTH!?" He continued.

"Wow, you've had a hell of a day." Gerry said mockingly.

But that was lost on the angry man sitting next to him. "Yeah! And he didn't even ask me any questions he just talked about himself and his ex the whole time." Tim sat with his arms crossed like a pouting child, mostly as a joke, but he was genuinely upset. There was a gap of silence where the two men sat in the thick tension filled air.

"Well, anyways, what are you drawing?" Tim broke the silence and leaned over the poorly died black haired man next to him.

"Eh, nothing, I just decided to draw you as a warm-up sketch. I'm gonna add some of the other archive workers." Tim looked into the bright tablet and saw a gorgeous drawing that shared his face. It honestly looked better than Tim did on a good day. It sure as hell didn't look like a bloody warm-up.

"That's amazing" he thought. He didn't realize untill Gerry responded that he had said it out loud.

"I mean, I've done better." Gerry said uncharacteristically shyly.

"Whats with the sudden humbleness? I thought you were good at everything?" Tim said sarcastically, and playfully elbowed his flatmate.

"I'm not good at everything, I'm just better than you." Gerry said with a smug smirk and a look in his eyes that somehow always seemed to make Tim nervous.

"Yeah, right." Tim teased, trying to hide the twisting feeling in his stomach and the rising temperature of his face.

Gerry went back to his drawing when he was finished teasing his flatmate. Tim watched him draw, he always did. But his eyes couldn't help but wonder to the artist. Gerry's dark gray eyes and smuged eyeliner were illuminated by the glowing tablet. The bright screen exentuated his features in a way that made Tim's face grow hotter.

Tim liked his Gothic roommate ever since they got to know eachother. They met through Jon, oddly enough. Apparently Gerry's mom worked in the institute in the 90's or something? Tim didn't really know the details, but based on how Gerry practically flinched each time she was brought up, Tim didn't want to ask. Gerry needed a place to live and Tim was barely affording his flat at the time, so they teamed up and Gerry moved in.

Tim didn't know how difficult it would be to live with the guy. He was only a year or two younger than Tim and he was hot, so he thought he would just jokingly flirt with him, from time to time like he did with everyone else and it wouldn't be a problem. Well little did he know that Gerry was also a huge tease, mostly to Tim which he thought was weird. Tim was really only on the giving end on the overly flirtatious friend, but Gerry would always find ways to knock him off his feet. Tim didn't know he had a thing for goths untill Gerry. Or maybe Tim just had a thing for Gerry.

"See something ya like?" Tim caught himself staring at Gerry's lips, that were twisted up into a smug smirk. That fucking smirk. Tim felt his face grow impossibly hotter as he tried to explain himself.

"I, well, I- I mean" Why was he bumbling like an idiot? He was good at this? This was his thing? He was the one who got people flustered, not the other way around. Tim heard Gerry start to laugh. God he loved Gerry's laugh. It was scratchy yet soft, it was like a shitty knitted jumper. But God it was cute. Tim watched the other man's lips as they laughed free of malice. He found himself leaning towards his gorgeous flatmate looking up into his eyes. Gerry suddenly stopped laughing and made a suprised expression. His pale face grew a bright shade of red as he looked at the man sitting next to him. He took a quick look at his lips then back to his large eyes.

Gerry quickly closed the distance between him and the other man. Tim genuinely couldn't believe he was kissing Gerry Keay. The man who flirted with him for more than a year and never actually made a move. Tim scooted closer trying to deepen the kiss. Gerry pulled away for a moment and before Tim could start to apologize for what he'd done. Gerry quickly moved the tablet from his lap and was back with his lips on Tim's.

Tim lifted his hand and placed it on the back of Gerry's neck. Gerry slightly parted his lips as an invitation and Tim quickly took it. Gerry supported himself on Tim's shoulders and Tim moved his hands to the other man's waist. Gerry was wearing an oversized jumper with a band that Tim didn't recognize, but it didn't really matter because Gerry swiftly pulled it off and threw it behind him. As Gerry moved to continue snogging his flatmate, Tim planted his hand on his chest to stop him.

"Why?" Gerry scrunched his brows in a puzzled expression and Tim continued. "Why are you doing this? Do you actually have feelings for me or is this just a fling?"

Tim was always awful with his words when it mattered most, but he felt he got his point across.

Gerry snickerd at his words and grabbed Tim's face with his tattoo clad hands "Tim Stoker, I have been in love with you for months." Tim lifted his brows in suprise.

"You wot?" Is all he could think of in response. The long haird man sitting next to him laughed, hands still wrapped around Tim's face. He pressed their foreheads together as Tim started to laugh as well.

The two men laughed together for a while. "I just, I never thought you actually had feelings for me." Tim said, the blood instantly flowing to his cheeks.

"I flirt with you all the time!?" Gerry responded throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

"You flirt with everyone!" Tim argued.

"No, no, no, you flirt with everyone. I only flirt with people I'm interested in and people who respond in funny ways. You just so happend to be both." Gerry looked at Tim with a smug expression and had the absolute gawl to wink! At the man who's already practically melting by the fact that the sexy goth he's shared a flat with for a year and a half, is in love with him. Tim felt his blood rushing a little further south than he'd like, so he turned away so as not to have even another problem on his hands.

"I love it when your shy." Gerry says with a smile. Tim turns and immediately grabs him by the neck of his t-shirt and kisses him. Gerry grabs his face and leans into the kiss.

"How's that for shy?" Tim says, pleasantly grinning at Gerry. The other man rolls his eyes and pulls Tim in for another kiss.

"Shut up, you tease."

Omggggg love love love

[canis-dentem]

how/when did you know you were a therian? like- when did you make the connection; how did you know you were caninekin specifically?

I’m tryna figure stuff out for myself and don’t know where to start. I don’t think I’m a therian, but I’ve always done some kind of animal-ish things (used to have the urge to hiss/snarl/snap when due to annoyance when I was younger, I have the urge to make creature noises pretty often, sometimes my mental image of myself when doing something feels more different, like. tall and elegant?? like sometimes when I turn my head I like. imagine/feel kind of a sloping neck and longer face/muzzle and limbs, canine-y (imagine a maned wolf/african wild dog/other canine) I don’t know how to explain it— but I’m not sure if the noises and biting are some kind of stimming due to my ADHD or not). I also heard the term “otherhearted” as having a deep connection with something, which. mmmmaybe me? so I’m gonna look into that.

anyways woah I rambled a lot more than I intended to but. yeah! I just wanna know what others’ experiences are like so I can see if mine relate to them lol

hi anon!!

tbh, i only awakened of around march of this year. i had never entered therian or otherkin circles, although i knew about it. one of my friends telling me star was a feline otherkin was what got me thinking like.... oh, that's a thing we can do? it happened to me with being trans, too, LOL--it didn't click for me that i could be something until someone close to me was.

what got me thinking was my brain kept saying "ugh i wanna be otherkin. that'd be so cool" and then i looked back on things i've done my whole life and like. oh that was a wolf thing. oh that's a dog thing. oh huh. it has been here. something that helped me when i was researching being autistic/having adhd was i kept a list of my symptoms as i noticed them, so i did that for being a therian. i have my little list of canine "symptoms" that i either notice myself doing or have remembered doing, some of which include feeling the urge to chew a lot, feeling longer canine teeth/wanting longer canine teeth, the urge to bare my teeth and growl when angry, always playing the worgen race in world of warcraft, among others. some of these (like baring my teeth/growling) were things i taught myself not to do bc "it wasn't normal." (i connect that to the 17 years of autism masking i did, so much so that i didn't know i was autistic and nobody around me did either.)

about stimming: me feeling the urge to chew is a stim. it is also connected to me being caninekin. it can be both!! stimming doesn't cancel out being a therian. plus, for me at least, i dont think i'd be otherkin if i wasnt autistic. you only mentioned adhd, not autism, but keep in mind that neurodivergency can and does often interact with alterhumanity.

i don't typically label my alterhumanity as spiritual (as in past-life) or phsycological, because honestly, i don't really care to know. i have it, and that's what matters to me. but being otherkin does overlap with my spirituality in the sense that i feel some yet unexplained connection with the woods. i always have. it makes sense to connect that to being otherkin, even if that's not the only explanation for it.

you can absolutely consider yourself otherhearted, if that makes sense for you! my suggestion? don't worry too much about the label. the word isn't actually super important. there's a big emphasis in this community on figuring out the specific type of animal you are, the specific type of otherkin (or -hearted etc) you are, where it comes from, etc. i don't think that's worth stressing yourself out about, not at all. if it works for you, it works for you--by all means, go ahead. if the process of finding a really specific 'type or word to call yourself brings you meaning and fulfills you, please do it!! i'm all for it. but if it stresses you out to figure out the finer details, let them go. it's okay. in my opinion, the biggest question is not "am i really a therian?" and instead, is, "does it make sense/bring me joy/fulfill me to connect myself to an animal?" if it does, move on from there.

good luck, anon! sending all my love to you. feel free to send any updates about your experience, if you wish to! i hope ur having a wonderful day <3

[number1wah]

rambles on go2

I think GO2 feels a bit off for people (me included tbh) for a couple of reasons. The big one, obviously, is that it's mostly New Material and Sir Terry wasn't around to help write it, so it's only Neil's voice (and I'm sure at times Neil attempting in some ways to channel Sir Terry, which is just an impossible task), so it lacks that extra special spark that only Sir Terry could really bring it. And there's absolutely no way it ever could have, frankly. (A fact I'm certain everyone on set or in the writing room was aware of. Neil is a wonderful writer. Sir Terry was a wonderful writer. Together they made a particular kind of magic that can never be captured again.)

Secondly though, is that it feels like a bunch of side stories. While things do change and progress in many ways there's just this feeling, to me anyway and I think to others that struggled with it, that a lot of it doesn't actually go anywhere in particular. There's a lot of fluff that doesn't fully impact the story that we see currently (but I do think will enlighten us for next season)

Rather than pushing the story forward in some large way it seems more like it's just expanding on what was there. (Which is definitely not a bad thing by any means.) The first time I watched GO2 I had multiple moments where I straight up just said: "Wait why are we doing things? What's the point of this scene???" And a lot of that was Aziraphale and Crowley's 'minisodes' (which tbh i hate the concept of. why call them minisodes when they are interwoven with the episode?? idk thats a rant for another time). Like their whole bit in Edinburgh and body snatching has little if anything to do with the mystery of Gabriel and it's kinda weirdly thrown inbetween the Main Story in a way that I don't think hits the way they intended it to.

Again, It's not that I don't love seeing the backstory of the Ineffable Idiots but it's done in a way that gives you a bit of whiplash I think. The first season put all (or at least most of) the historical flashbacks in a contained episode, with the intent to show just a bit of the progression of this relationship.

Also, as much as I absolutely adore Azriphale and Crowley, this season focused so so heavily on them that the rest of the cast felt so small. Season 1 had a whole slew of characters that you were able to sit with longer, and I think that's missing here. (And that might also be in part due to filming in the middle of a pandemic) You saw Aziraphale and Crowley interact with each other but you also had a sense of the whole world around them and how they interacted with it more, and how the people in the world interacted with each other. Not just the two or three shops on Aziraphale's street. (And thinking of it now they do interact with people in the flashbacks but because they're one off characters for the episodes and not series regulars it just doesn't have the same impact)

Don't get me wrong, I had some issues with Season 1 (particularly some lines by Pepper that felt wild lol) but I think it was more balanced in it's approach to all the characters and their journey.

This also isn't to say that I dislike Season 2 at all, just that on first watch I can definitely understand why some people struggled a bit with it. I think the biggest thing that helped me appreciate GO2 was understanding that this was more of a "bridge" (for lack of a better term) to get to the sequel. That this was just ramping up to get people to that place. (They absolutely could have chosen to jump in to the sequel story and do some creative story telling to fill us in on the important bits and I am very grateful they chose to tell this story and walk with us to that jumping off point instead.) And I think a lot of trilogies struggle with the second part in particular because so often it is a bridge from the start to the conclusion, but this just feels like that x10 to me?? Because the first season is a complete story, even if there's room to grow from that, it's a closed book essentially.

Idk I'm very much rambling here and can't get my thoughts down in a very coherent way.

I do just want to say that I just finished my second rewatch and, again, I so thoroughly enjoyed it, even though I still think it fumbled parts in comparison to the first one. And I'm absolutely not mad at it in any way for expanding on the both Aziraphale and Crowley individually and together. I just think it may sit better with people when the 3rd season is out (fucking fingers crossed so help me) and the story is a complete entity again.

edit to add: I also don't really think TV executives have ever really given us this style of story before. (fucking especially with a queer couple jfc)Where you go from this crazy story of an apocalypse to a story very obviously about love. Like this feels very much like New Territory and I am so grateful to have it, wort's and all.

[alectoperdita]

Since you've touched on the topic of noncon in fics before if you're comfortable answering I wanted to ask something.

Or if you'd rather answer privately feel free to vague post and I can DM or like the post or something so you can dm if your messages are closed.

Ok, the question: In any verse be it canon or au, if Seto had been too late to stop something like that from happening to Jou, or even if he was forced to watch, how would they both deal with that? Would Jou close up emotionally? Would Seto be angry at himself? Etc. Just how do you think the aftermath would go

Sure, I have no problem talking about that here as this is an ask made in good faith. If I'm willing to publicly post fic about it, I'm okay talking about what goes into constructing that fictional scenario.

Answered under the cut cuz cw: noncon, standard "don't like, don't read; i trust you're a mature adult who curates their online experience plz" rules on my blog

So I don't think much about noncon except in specific AUs. Cuz honestly, doing something like that to either of my faves makes me kinda sad when it's their canon(-adjacent) selves.

But Lure and all its myriads of little terrible spinoffs? That's where I like to stow the rest of my darkfic writing inclinations anyway.

Soooo there is a noncon story idea for Lure which is tentatively set late in Year 2, so months after Tributary and Fill me with sweetness and cream. The setup is that Jounouchi is kidnapped and used as a hostage to extort money from Kaiba. Kaiba receives both photos and videos of Jounouchi being beaten and raped. It is also a revenge ploy against both of them executed by Hirutani crawling out of the woodwork.

The main focus of the story is on what happens afterward, though, after Jounouchi has been rescued. Now, this is a universe where Jounouchi understands himself as mainly having value to Kaiba in sexual terms. Yeah, they have a weird twisted affection growing between them like fungus at this point (trauma bonding yay), but Jounouchi is still Kaiba's pet first and foremost. While he was kidnapped, he was pretty sure he wasn't even going to be rescued.

And now? His worth is devalued in a way. What if Kaiba no longer wants him after this? Considers him broken? Kicks him to the street? Jounouchi is worried about how this can impact his material future because he is still dependent on Kaiba for housing and food. Yes, there's also the messy emotional stuff in the background, hitting some old fears about being abandoned and discarded.

Kaiba is enraged with the situation. But in this case, he also has specific culprits to blame and punish, which will become the main target of his rage. (Hirutani not gonna have a good time to put it lightly lol). Surprisingly, he's not mad at Jounouchi, though. He understands Jounouchi as having resisted and fought back to the best of his abilities.

But as for how he acts toward Jounouchi? A little brisk at time, but no more than before. He is careful not to touch Jounouchi, and mostly leaves Jounouchi alone to recover in his room. Because that's what he should do in this case??? Lure!Kaiba trying to reach for some compassion here and executing clumsily. Because in his view, whatever shit he may have dubconed Jounouchi into in the past, he never raped-raped Jounouchi. He's not going to force himself on an injured person. He's not a complete monster, kthnx.

Hilariously (or not so hilariously), Kaiba's clumsy attempts at compassion make Jounouchi feel worse. Because Kaiba doesn't seek him out as much or touch him, does that mean he no longer wants Jounouchi? It sharpens Jounouchi's desperation. He's not horny or aroused per se, but he is looking for signs that Kaiba still intends to keep him around. Because if Kaiba won't have sex with him, what worth does he still have to him?

Not to mention the cognitive dissonance of "what is wrong with me? I literally got raped last week but I'm losing my mind wishing someone, well Kaiba, forces himself on me but in a way that I like."

Obviously, this is untenable in the long run. They're individually so emotionally volatile for their own reasons. Eventually, Kaiba does want to fuck Jounouchi rabid because he's a possessive bastard (Jounouchi is his dammit!), and ironically that's probably what will give Jounouchi the most peace of mind in this moment (reinforces he still has "value").

So part of the reason neither of them has made any move on the other is because they've been waiting for the results of Jounouchi's STD tests, which can take up to 2-4 weeks for the most major concerns. They have literally never gone that long without sex since they first started. So once Jounouchi's results finally come back clean, he gets it into his head that he needs to just rip off the band-aid and seduce Kaiba. If Kaiba's willing to fuck him, then maybe he's still good. If he won't, well, then he knows his days are numbered.

Kaiba has been waiting on the results for another reason. Because it's going to affect how he makes Hirutani suffer for what he did.

Ultimately, Kaiba will also offer Jounouchi a chance to take some revenge for himself. Hand him the knife, if you will.

And that's all I'm going to say about this one in case I ever do write this one in full.

Like I said, this is a scenario very specific to their characterization in this AU. But I tend to think Kaiba, even canon-wise, is quite capable of some murderous tendencies when presented with the proper motive.

[stray-tori]

TPN Vol 8 - Chapters 66-70 Thoughts

[we're already on vol 9 but I'm slow with compiling]

I know I always rag on the "cop out" deaths and it is true that no corpse no dead, and I am curious if there will be any more worldbuilding regarding Lucas' survival (hello deus ex machina person) but uh. Idk. I'm sure it has a point and it makes sense in universe (having him be the reason for the knowledge among GP kids is good) but it just feels a little. Eh. Like it feels like paddling back on a small part of geezers guilt and feelings. In part it also feels like a "reward" for choosing the heroes moral side and going to help save Emma (why ever that happened - ig bc Gilda would blow up the shelter if he doesn't so. YAY).

...

Obviously the development is still his, and he obviously isn't expecting to find anyone alive there, but ig i felt like he was leading up to... healing more through the kids and not one epic Emma speech and "oh your one friend is alive btw" reveal later on. It feels like a spark of hope and happiness for him that I'm not sure if was needed narratively. He already decided he wouldn't harm them.

Like maybe they handle it very differently so i might be jumping the gun here but idk. It just feels a little... weird to me. Probably in a similar way how speeches about Norman hurt but also kind of get that "well uh about that...." Air once you know. I feel for the characters and their separation but it doesn't have the same weight it could have anymore.

In theory it reminds me a bit of the whole gate reveal structure in s2. With a setup being built up or established and a reveal just going "nvm that's not what we're doing".

It makes sense, I'm just not a huge fan of what it does for me for previously established things.

But i guess writing wise it puts its cards on the table with small scale Lucas and then Norman haha.

.

I find it rly funny how much the arc sort of mirrors the s2 arc so far (character assumed dead is alive, new cast of demon kill children introduced, a plan to kill demons).

Ig that might be intentional, for all intents it's a good method of conveying character change. Or different specifics or how things might be judged differently with different specifics (like hunting for enjoyment vs. farming)

I'm totally jumping in on this too early but idk it's interesting to think about.

That and also our whole "There's someone I want you to meet" - "ITS NORMAN" jokes made me think, like you could probably ACTUALLY restructure some of this in a way that would allow Norman's return here instead lol. Could be a fun AU, esp since we have the seeds of a (small-scale) demon annihilation plan anyway.

I also just find it funny to think about Norman grumbling from his future self that Emma agreed to some random guy's plan so easily udkhjsd

Obviously the time is a bit of a mess -- it's only been 3 months? is Adam out bc Norman's escaped already or was Adam just shipped to GP? if he already escaped, our boy is quick - plus, why would he go to GP. the supporters in Lambda probably know it's been compromised, so aside from freeing the children, there isn't a lot of reason to go there and while that may have priority, I feel like 3 months is a bit of a short timeframe for Norman to settle in there well enough -- so it's more wonky than anything BUT IT'S FUN TO THINK ABOUT.

.

btw I find it so funny how Emma has that whole "intent to kill" thing going on now, considering her later moral stance - like it's fair but coming from s2 it's a bit of whiplash haha especially since she's so determined about it right from the start. (though I have no idea if she ever addressed killing demons before this, memory bad)

Though notably she said "she wants to shut down the hunting ground too", not "want to kill them too" - and it's good that she draws a line but IDK IT'S JUST INTERESTING because what bothers her is the toying / no respect for their lives, right? - "this kind of hunt", not hunting in general.

... so like, if you were hunted by a demon in the wild, who didn't toy with you, just killed and ate you, that would be fine then? Idk, it's a very fine line and I get it, but it's interesting to think about. A quick, suffer-less death is of course a valid thing to want if you will die anyway, but you're dead afterwards in both variants.

Of course maybe I'm reading it wrong and it's just her sort of realizing that between mass production farms and GP, they really did have it good, even if they died an early death, and how this is much more hate-worthy than GF's method. Which is true, I suppose, and might expand on the building blocks of her moral development down the line (as in "there's different stages of demon-badness").

.

Also a more funny thought but imagine if Lucas DID have the pen, would... Geezer-senpai just not find the way back? And even if he did would he even get into the bunker? That'd be one tragic ending pff. Tell the person to run away and they can't even go back inside sudhdjd

.

Also i thought about it and isn't it weird that none of the books or materials mentioned what goldy pond actually is? Like youd expect sth that important to be in there.

We know WM wasn't at the bunker in the last 13 years and we know that the books he supplied to GF, the newest one was 2015. What if he was discovered or had to limit his WM activity 30 years ago?

So 30 years ago, he still sent people to goldy pond.

I'm just realizing.... That totally sounds like a setup for minerva to actually be on the demons side or a demon himself sjdhjddj. Like he orchestrates escapees (who are likely to be smart) and then sends them to GP where he and his noble friends can hunt them.

But where i was actually going with this uh, what if GP 30 years ago (potentially longer depending on how long ago he was there last) wasn't actually a hunting a ground? Why would you send kids there without a warning otherwise? What if it WAS a small human community (tho that would likely have been passed around by the inhabitants) or it was at least WM supporter base like the bunker, intended for humans to live there. Not sure about mansion then but YKNOW.

If it was, i wonder if it being discovered was a huge part in WM cover being blown OR if the demons decided to keep it secret bc you know this place is rly convinient haha

I also wonder how wm even finds and builds all these underground things lol. Bc it can't have existed since before the world split i think?

Man has some big construction projects running pfff.

I'm also not sure how that underground thing works-

.

its tori is confused about minor things hour

[Emma takes the axe with right hand, her right hand is still behind her as if she was winding up, but the axe is already thrown?]

like if she had the axe still in hand it'd make sense or if it was in her hand AND spinning, it'd be like "2 frames".

but this?? i am just-

.

im rly late with this but the glove is Lucas' memorial. the pair will only be together again when they reunite :<<

what I want to know is HOW. like the John thing is already questionable but I guess he could have gone back again?? but with this.

he has both gloves when they part he still have one glove on when his arm is gone. but the arm Leuvis has, doesn't have a glove?? So either Leuvis took it off but i wouldn't know why, and just dropped it on the ground for geezer to come pick up ORRRR he took one off for some reason?? maybe he threw it at the demon pff something is very un-continous here and i need answers-

.

the duality of man... not wanting people to know a) your age and b) your name (which you may have forgotten, who knows)

we just assumed geezer's name is censored here but I guess it could be anything haha-

[ginnympotter]

uhm this is kind of a vague prompt but harry and ginny going on a date in the muggle world doing the things he always wanted to do as a kid but wasn't allowed? x

LOVE ITTT. OK anyone who actually lives in London reading this, I apologize. I know nothing and admit to this. Also this ended up much longer than intended I’m sorry lol. Hope you like it!

“Ginny, I already told you-”

She groaned, closing the front door of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place behind them. “And I’ve already told you that I don’t give a damn.” She took the invisibility cloak from the crook of his arm and threw it over them. “Now, I’m going to need you to apparate us so please concentrate and stop being a humble git.”

Harry sighed, recognizing defeat. “Where to, then?”

“Westminster Bridge Road,” she informed him.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Muggle London? What for?”

She rolled her eyes and grabbed on to his hand. “If you would exert some patience, please, you will find out shortly.”

He conceded, securing her hand in his. “Hold tight.”

He spun on the spot, and Ginny felt herself being squeezed into nothing, suffocating, and then suddenly her feet landed firmly on pavement, the rush of traffic ringing in her ears. Her hand still firmly locked in Harry’s, she dragged them into an ally and took off the cloak, handing it back to its owner. “Put it in your pocket.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he responded, doing just so. They both put their wands in their pockets as well, and then Ginny dragged them back to the sidewalk. 

People walked around them in haste, and Ginny looked at the street signs on both sides of them. “This way,” she determined, tugging Harry’s hand and navigating them to the right. Ginny strode down the street excitedly, Harry by her side, chuckling. 

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing now?”

She chanced a glance at him, and his face held both suspicion and amusement. “Listen,” she began. “I know you don’t care much about making a deal of your birthday, but you should. I mean, need I remind you, it was only about 3 months ago that you almost died.”

“I remember,” he mumbled.

“And so the fact that you made it to 18 is something to be celebrated! And I wanted to do something special, since all I gave you last year for your birthday was an interrupted snog and an overbearing brother,” she smiled. 

He laughed at that, squeezing her hand. “Fair enough.”

“But I knew going out in any Wizarding areas would be too stressful. We don’t need anyone hounding you, and I suppose we could’ve taken Polyjuice Potion but I’d prefer to see your handsome face.”

“Not sick of it yet?”

“Never.” She stopped abruptly, pulled him to her, and kissed him firmly on the mouth. Then remembered herself and kept them moving as to not cause any further pedestrian traffic. Harry had a lopsided smirk on his face as she resumed to steer them towards their destination. “Anyway,” she continued, “we should be pretty safe here. It’s crowded and not many wizards come roaming about Muggle London, except my dad, maybe.”

“I hope you’re right, but I wouldn’t underestimate Rita Skeeter’s determination.”

“Good thing I’m not afraid of beetles,” she quipped back, shooting him a smile. “So now that you’re of age in both the Wizarding and Muggle world, I thought we’d exercise those freedoms in the most optimal way possible- aha!” She spotted the place and made a sharp turn down the block, Harry still holding her hand but tailing her, and stopped short at the entrance. “Ta-da!” 

Harry took a moment to catch his breath, then looked up at the sign above the door. Namco Funscape.

“No...way...” Harry gaped breathlessly. “No way.”

Ginny felt triumph beating in her chest. “Last month, you told me about all the things your aunt and uncle would take Dudley to do, or allow him to do at the house, all of which you were deprived...and I wanted to make that up to you and take you myself. But as an adult, it’s all up to you what we do. And you can even have a Muggle drink now that you got an ID last week.”

Harry continued to stare at the building front, then turned his shocked expression to Ginny, which quickly melted into the kind of warm smile that left Ginny immobile, like the one he had given her when they first exchanged ‘I love you’s, or when they played one-on-one Quidditch two weeks ago and she caught the Snitch right under his nose. He let go of her hand and closed the gap between them, wrapping his arms around her, fitting her snugly into his chest. She closed her eyes, content to just stay like that for the rest of the day if he wanted. But she was a good gift-giver, and she knew how eager he was to go in. “I will always be grateful for gifted snogs, interrupted or otherwise, but this is...really...” He released her from his grip and kissed her once hard, the second time more softly. “You’re the best. The best.”

“I am pretty amazing, aren’t I,” she joked, the look on his face making her heart flutter even more rapidly. 

“You are,” he confirmed, his smile widening. “Now c’mon, let me introduce you to all the fun Muggle activities I wish I could do as a kid that you will surely kick my arse in.”

She could hardly contain her own excitement seeing Harry display his own so openly, swinging the door open and striding through into the massive arcade and entertainment center. Harry explained to her the concept of tokens, and before he could pay for them to have any Ginny took out the stash of Muggle money she brought. She handed the clerk the bills before Harry could get a full objection out. “Ginny, let me-”

“It’s your birthday,” she stated simply. “Stop. Let me take care of it. You can waste all the money you’d like to pamper me in eleven days.”

“Fine,” he replied resentfully but seemed to get over it quick enough as the clerk handed him the cup of tokens. He took her through the rows of video games, and it was some of the most fun she ever had, having Harry teach her how to play and, as predicted, quickly dominating him in almost every game he taught her. The only one Harry continued to beat her in (though only marginally) was Pacman, but she demolished him in Skee-Ball on the first round, and the four others that followed. “Should’ve seen that one coming,” he snorted, trying and failing to hide the gleam in his eye he’d get when turned on by Ginny’s unexpected prowess as she successfully sunk her final ball into the top goal. “Bloody Chasers.”

“How could you forget, when my Quidditch Captain badge arrived just yesterday?” she beamed at him, bending down to collect her plethora of tickets. 

“You’re a usurper, is what you are,” Harry shook his head.

Ginny gasped dramatically as she pulled the last of her tickets up and shoved them into Harry’s hand. “Not usurper, rightful successor!” Harry laughed as he took the tickets and put them in their bucket. “You know, jealousy doesn’t look so good on you.”

Harry pulled her toward him and put both hands on her cheeks. “I’m only jealous of everyone who’s going to be there to watch you shine.”

Ginny felt her heart sink slightly. She knew it was a difficult decision for Harry to forgo the rest of his education, to not return to the Quidditch team for one final season, and most of all, to spend the better part of ten months apart from her after finally getting back together. But they both knew it was what made the most sense, and that they would be okay. He offered her a small smile before leaning in to kiss her. 

She sighed, his lips gone too quick. He chuckled, throwing an arm around her and leading them to another area of the arcade. They tried the jackpot machine game multiple times, and on the sixth attempt, Ginny hit the jackpot, which was 550 tickets. Harry and Ginny decided they had enough accumulated to go claim a prize, and Harry convinced Ginny to get something called a skateboard, which she was able to pick up rather quickly before they were reprimanded for riding it inside. Then Harry taught her ping-pong, which took her a bit longer to pick up, but by the end of it won two matches. All the playing left them famished, and so they went to the bar and got pizza, and Ginny convinced him to try Muggle beer. He eyed it skeptically, took a sip, swallowed, and made a face of disgust.

Ginny laughed heartily. “That bad?”

“Yes,” he confirmed, pushing it away. “I can’t believe anyone would drink this when butterbeer tastes so much better.”

She tugged at his collar and pulled his face close to hers. “Let me have a taste.”

“You’re not of age,” he said, looking at her curiously.

“Not that way,” she informed him, the suggestive grin forming on his lips stunted by Ginny’s crushing against them, prodding his mouth open, sweeping her tongue over his. She pulled away briefly, told him, “I can bear it,” then continued to kiss him.

She only got to have her fun for about thirty seconds, however, as they were interrupted by a loud and recognizable “Oi! You’re in public!”

They broke apart, and Ginny could see the blush spreading across Harry’s cheeks. “I thought interrupted snogs and overbearing brothers were gifts of the past,” he whispered quickly.

“I thought you were grateful for them, anyway?”

“The snog bit, yeah-”

Hermione’s voice cut in. “Sorry,” she winced, then glared at Ron. “Somebody still needs to learn manners.”

“Yeah, them!” he retorted, gesturing towards his sister and best friend. 

Hermione rolled her eyes, then walked forward to hug Harry. “Happy birthday, Harry! We didn’t mean to interrupt-”

“It’s okay, Hermione,” Harry told her as she let go. “I didn’t know you two were coming!”

“I meant to mention it,” said Ginny. “But I lost track of time. I wanted to try that bowling thing, and I thought it’d be fun to have them join us for a bit before we head back home for dinner with everyone.”

“We’re bowling?” Harry shouted in excitement. “Oh, man is this going to be fun. I’ve always wanted to bowl. I got to watch Dudley once but wasn’t allowed to play.”

Ron threw his arm around Hermione, pulling her to his side. “Alright, Hermione, we’re ready to learn.”

After three matches, the first as individuals (Harry just winning, all scores rather close), the second as boys versus girls (girls demolishing), and the third as a couple match-up (Harry and Ginny victorious), their arms were sore and they were ready to apparate back to Ottery St. Catchpole for Harry’s birthday. 

Ginny’s mother made an elaborate dinner and cake that, seeing Fred’s empty seat, Ginny could tell he did not quite feel he deserved but expressed his gratitude all the same. Most everyone he loved was there, including little Teddy, whose hair and eyes matched Harry’s throughout most of the meal, which made Ginny’s heart swell. As her mother insisted Harry stay the night, she helped him bring up all his presents to Ron’s room before turning in for the night herself, although not before making sure Ginny was in her own room with Hermione. And although Ron still could not hold back his disgust, he knew there was something to be gained for himself in having Harry and Hermione swap places once they were sure it was safe. Hermione quietly left, and a minute later, there was a light rap of knuckles against her door.

She flicked her wand and the door opened. Harry, his face lit in his own wand light, wearing his pajamas, stepped in quietly and closed the door behind him, clicking the lock. He walked over to Ginny’s bed, whispered ‘Nox,’ put his wand and glasses on her bedside table, and crawled into her small bed. 

“Hello,” he whispered, and she could see his smile in the dark as she pulled him closer to her. 

“Mm,” she sighed happily, intertwining her legs with his, firmly planting her face in the crook of his neck. “Good birthday?”

He wrapped his arms around her. “The best, I think. Today was...” he paused, and Ginny knew he struggled to verbalize his feelings sometimes, so when he uttered out a loving, “thank you,” and kissed the top of her head, she knew he was happy, and so her goal was achieved.

“So it surpasses last year’s gift, then?” she asked playfully.

“Well, I did receive the same gift this year too, earlier before bowling, didn’t I?”

“I suppose.”

Harry readjusted them and put a hand on her face, causing her to look up at him. “And as incredible as today was, I was hoping for that present in an uninterrupted format if you’d be so willing.”

Ginny laughed, melting at his touch, feeling pierced by the sparkle in his eyes, made brighter by the contrast of the dark. “How could I deny you such a gift?”

Harry grinned widely as Ginny drew her face closer to his. Their lips impossibly close, she whispered against his, “Happy birthday, Harry.”

[lairofsentinel]

I love your BG3 analysis posts and wanted to get your insight into one of Gale's lines. On point 21 you discuss his 'doubt' lines. There's another line that I find similar / fitting: if the main char tells Gale they think their night together was a mistake then he says something like "Let me clear your mind of doubts: it absolutely wasn't." He doesn't discuss the 'why' of it - or express he's disappointed but accepts their choice. He tries to discourage that line of thinking outright. Thoughts?

Hey, hello! Thanks for reading those big posts. :D

[Baldur’s Gate 3 Early Access Spoilers]

For those who don't know what those numbers mean: [Gale in 27 points or more]

Yeah, in (21) I found curious that he just says "doubt is a spoilsport" in another desperate attempt to make the MC stop thinking about it, and go for him already. Yes, you are right. The other line afterwards, when the MC shows doubts again about the whole night, he desperately tries to cast them aside. Again! They are like attempts of "no, no, dear, stop thinking right there. We are not a mistake, we are just we. Stop thinking. I don't care if I encourage questioning in general. On this matter, question not" XD

Which I found hilarious in comparison with his personality which is ALL the time in his mode "we need to doubt about everything", because well, that's a scholar. Scholars tend to be better at questioning than knowing things most of the time. This shows once more that he is desperate to stay with the MC, so far. I want to believe that there are not more hidden secrets, or ill-intended motives coming from him.

His mental state by the time he meets the MC is quite a mess. If you think that since too young he was abandoned by Mystra with that orb of Netherese devastation stuck in his chest... we can assume that there is a high chance for him to have been alone ever since. The quest in saving himself from that bomb probably prevented him to use time and energy in relationships (like I say in (15)), and by (12) we know he feels deadly alone. Especially if we take his description of how the bomb makes him feel, which is an increasing terror the longer he stays without consuming artefacts.

If you fail in that conversation of the Loss scene, when you insist about what he lost, he will push the MC away and will say something like "I'm strong enough to keep on". But we know that by the end of that night (or after the party in case MC did not romance him), he will say it anyway. He will talk about Mystra abandonment.  He can't hold it anymore. He needs to share the burden and find someone to trust. Which will be the MC, as a friend or a lover.

I still think about the mind-shocking impact that the Weave scene caused him. It's not only what he states, his mindset has been focused on solving his bomb condition for too long. Relationships have been out of question for a while (15).  And then, he has this Weave moment with the MC showing him their romantic interest; it not only took him by surprise, it caught him quite vulnerable too (too much feeling of loneliness and fear and despair plus the tadpoles looming danger), so the event had a stronger effect than he lets show in that moment. We know he thinks about that event the following days in between the Weave scene and the party, and apparently, that makes a click in him.

As I said, he is desperate for the MC who shared that magic moment of the Weave. Magic is his life, as he said, and sharing it with someone who has supported him and giving him their trust, it moves the ground he is walking on.

He is a char that, when a chance appears, he doesn't want to let is waste. And that romantic scene in the weave was a completely unexpected chance happening in front of him. Serendipity, as he said. (I don't know if by choosing the last option, the one in which you imagine nothing, Gale will want something anyway. I have to explore that.) (** I already explored this [here] **)

In sum, the concept here is that, as a scholar, he is into doubts and questioning all what you want. He will encourage such attitude in the MC. Except when it comes to question his emotions for the MC and their night together. Because questioning them, may cause abandon him. We also need to remember he was abandoned. Abandonment issues must to be added to his psychological profile. It was probably this issue the one that made him wait to the last moment before saying the truth. Because he is all about consent and let people know the truth, but he freaked out at the thought that maybe that truth could mean a second abandonment. That fear is there even if the MC did not romance him. He reached to a point in his life where loneliness, the bomb, and the tadpole became too heavy to deal with alone anymore. He needs the MC. And needs to be sure that they won't abandon him. That's why Gale ends up doing that rotten move of saying the truth only after sleeping with the romanced MC and after all that speech of the book of Anm: through intimacy he wanted to have a deeper link with the MC in order to prevent the abandonment. This is why he says “after all what we passed through, after the night we spent together”. He wants the MC baaaadly. And he  wants not to be abandoned again. You see him bending and breaking his usual philosophy just to avoid abandonment. That's... a bit dangerous.

Once more it gives me the feeling that Gale is a nice mature character, who knows where he walks as long as we are not in the emotional ground. Emotional-wise... seems that Gale has pretty bad experiences, filled with over-idealised situations (Mystra) or over-darkened by misery (his bomb condition and now the tadpole) and in the back of all that there is a constant abandonment issue that may make some situations quite... complicated.

Asking for middle reactions to Gale on these matters seems to be a bit too much for his char. XD This is why I like to joke that he is basically proposing the MC right there... I mean, the book of Anm speech? If you choose “hey Gale, we are not newlywed (stressing that fact), but newly acquainted”, he gives a shit to the definitions of the words (the scholar, uh), he says “let's write the prequel”. One can interpret it like... he is assuming he and the MC are walking that path through and through. He is riiight heading into marriage. Lol. I personally would not like this kind of chars, but I make my exception here because, at least, Gale has a solid reason to be this way: he may die at any moment.

This kind of soft emotional instability char may be a dangerous compound in Larian's hands. You see, Larian in DOS2 offered romances that clearly were not going to last after the ending of the game; and you had hints of that pretty early in the game: one companion was married looking for their spouse, and another was betrothed, and had a fling with the MC meanwhile, if you want to. Another companion you can romance, simply disappears later by the end of the game. So... Larian... is not Bioware. Having a man like Gale that can break or bend his usual philosophy and his morals to a certain degree when it comes to matters of the heart.... well... it's dangerous, to say the least.

I fear Mystra appearing, and telling him that she abandoned him not because she wanted to, but because the netherese orb put her in danger (a logical reason that Gale could accept without problems no matter how much he suffered because of it, check (4),(14) and (20) ). And if Gale gets rid of that orb, and Mystra asks him to be his Chosen One “with benefits” once more (lol)... I'm not so sure if he will not abandon the MC. Unless the MC accepts a polyamory relationship (with a goddess? XD), because I totally see Gale has no issues with Mystra or MC having lovers besides him. 

Magic is his life, and he longs a lot the powers granted by the title of the Chosen One. And Mystra's affections are where the true magical power lays (Gale's own words). So.... yes. Dangerous.

Ah, damn... I derailed again. Sorry.

More content of bg3 in general [here]

[co27]

Aw, that Sprx + Antauri comic was great! Whether or not you agree w/Sprx or Antauri or both it's just heartbreaking how little time anyone could process what happened in the S2 finale. They just kept having to move on and even when they did have time it probably felt too awkward to bring it up if Antauri wasn't going to. I wish Sprx had said something like this in canon because it feels so IC for how he much he feels for his team. I felt so bad for both of them (hopefully Ant gets his say too).

HI IVE BEEN AT CAMP ALL DAY SO IM ONLY JUST ABLE TO ANSWER THIS!!!

okay uh. this is. a lot longer than i intended it to be but the cut isnt working atm so..... sorry jfmskfkd

RHANK YOU SO MUCUUCH any of my friends can tell u i have a LOT of feelings on sparx/antauri.. like like it or not sparx has a LOT of understandimg/intuition when it comes to his friends, his problem is just that hes never able to confront ppl about things civilly, w sparx its always accusations and anger and stuff. HE HAS A BIG HEART!!!

im rly happy to be exploring his dynamic w the team in my art/writing bc (like i said in the notes of my awesome fic that u should definitely read) his relationships with anyone besides nova is Never talked about in depth!! i feel like if srmthfg was more modern or even got a fmab-style redo it would probably have a lot more room to explore their various relationships and stuff...... but alas. early 2000s plot stuff.

also, a LOT of ppl seem to be wanting like... a sequel comic where they talk and resolve things and im not gonna lie it started as a self-indulgent doodle at midnight that i planned on not showing anyone, so i really cant promise a follow-up with antauris pov....... id LOVE to do it but honestly im not sure how i would go about it without it feeling forced or something. i ADORE antauri but like u said, unless he initiates it a lot of the team is just... unwilling to confront him about things and antauri isnt exactly great at explaining his thoughts lol.

as the sort of resident Big Brother of the team he has SO MUCH faith in the hyperforce to be able to handle things on their own that he doesnt realize his absense feels less like “i trust you all to take care of yourselves while i take care of this” and more like “youre not important enough to be clued in to or included on my escapades”

naturally sparx as the resident hothead with no respect for authority would be the one to let it slip to antauri that he cant just do whatever the fuck he wants and stuff, which is part of why i wrote this comic between them in the first place.. like, sparx is the ONLY team member who would ever doubt antauri, even for a second. he would never actually believe antauri meant to hurt them, but BOY is he hurt anyways.

sparx CLEARLY has a tendency to lash out, and paired with antauris complete and total calmness/detachment, i think it would piss off sparx a lot. however, the ONLY thing i think that could actually hurt antauri is when sparx takes a dig at the power primate/antauris trust in them. antauris hurt because hes realizing he completely let the team down. we dont actually know exactly how long chiro was running around as a monkey, but it was long enough for the remaining team to contact jinmay, repair the robot, and start rebuilding shuggazoom, which could be anywhere from three days to three WEEKS.

and like.... antauri cant exactly DISAGREE with sparx here, either, which is the problem. antauri probably WOULD tell sparx “im sorry i let you down, i have complete trust and faith in you and didnt think i would be gone or even that the skeleton king and worm had survived after i sacrificed myself, i understand your pain and i shouldnt have done it” but.....

sparx wouldnt like that. sparx HATES having this big question mark, this big simmering energy telling him that antauri could ever betray them. sparx loves antauri, he trusts him, he knows he would never hurt them intentionally. but antauri still died on them. and having antauri actually admit to his mistake and to acknowledge all of that hurt would probably be too much for him to handle

so.... i cant say for certain whether ill write a resolution, or whether theres even a resolution to be given. i care about these dumb monkeys a lot but like i said......... self-indulgent comic at midnight. i didnt even plan on it being more than 4 panels so making it a whole entire comic was super unexpected, as well as the positive reception the comic has been given