#long time no post. art and general creative block has been kicking me in the BUTT

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

woah they're buds‼️💥

Whyenn belongs to @mnt-arts go check out his art NOW⚡️⚡️⚡️

[ziamhaze]

Just thought about “kick, Push“ and wanted to thank you for writing this piece. I come back very often. Also I wanted to ask what your writing process looks like (if you like to share)

Hope you have a great day!

Hello!  So sorry for taking as long as I have to reply to this, life has been crazy busy.

First of all, thank you so much for reading my work and then...reading it again.  It’s mind boggling for me to think that there are people out there who have such a fondness for a world I’ve created that they find themselves wanting to relive it.  Really, it’s a very surreal thing.

As for my writing process, I actually wrote a HUGE post about this on my Patreon about a year or so ago.  To save myself the time, I’m literally going to copy and paste it below the cut.  That said, it’s the mindset I was in back then, so do keep in mind that some points may have changed since, as this past year has been a whirlwind for my writing.  In general though, it paints a pretty clear picture of how I approach a story and the steps I take to see it out.

Also, it should be noted that by no means is there a right and wrong way when approaching any sort of art.  I’ve learned by virtue of being in a professional writing atmosphere for over a year now that how I work is VERY atypical, VERY regimented, and VERY analytical.  Art is not this.  It can be, but it usually isn’t.

Enjoy the process.  Enjoy the mistakes.  And most importantly, enjoy the story.  It’s shown itself to you and for you, above all else.

WARNING: The information below contains spoilers for nearly all of my fics.  Proceed with caution.

In a few of my writing updates for the last fic I mentioned how I tend to write in a non-linear fashion.  I’ve got zero background in creative writing, however, I did dabble in screenwriting during my high school and undergrad years.  That being said, it’s a lot easier for me to write in a visual way with blocking versus simply planning a plot arc and writing it as I go (and also why I have so much dialogue in my stories; they’re really just elaborate film scenes linked to form a story without the b-roll).

What does that mean?

If you’ve read Customer of the Week you’ll have read Zayn using a similar methodology.  And truthfully, many many comic/graphic novel authors use screenwriting software and blocking breakdowns for the subsequent drawings.  But I will admit, I was a bit selfish with using my exact method for Zayn’s in that last fic.

I usually start a fic with 1 of 2 ideas:

A career I want one of them to have

A typical AU setting [ex: uni/frat, coffee shop, supernatural, kidfic, famous (athlete, model, singer)]

Genuinely, that’s what it all boils down to.  From there, I spend some time thinking about what it is they could do in those worlds and form a very simple objective/path that they will allow them to fall in love.  If I had to guess, I’d say The Heart of Him was the most difficult to plan because it was VERY subtle, not a lot of action or huge relationship build up; the easiest by far was Kick, Push.

Next, I do a lot of research on certain plot points.  For example, with Kick, Push I needed to see what the Olympic schedule was in order to know how many scenes I needed to fill to make it one per day.  Or with Z.A.Y.N. I had to make the longest playlist ever to just get the music down because I obviously wanted to have Zayn as a songwriter, but then I took AGES figuring out ok, so I have these 80 songs I love for lyrical analysis, how do I incorporate them?  I remember shifting around the songs on paper just to visually see it all and thought I was crazy, but then I realized if I bunched them together by subject matter, that would allow me to make the scenes’ dialogue based on those topics.  Even with Compartment 451 I needed to do tons of Harry Potter related research to see, could Liam even be a Head Boy and Quidditch Captain?  How does that work?  If it wasn’t canon, do I want to divert?  If I want to stick with canon and he can only be one then how do I switch the plot because it was very obviously based on how busy Liam was with both labels.

Ok, so once I’ve got the research down (though I still find myself doing more during the writing process if I don’t know what something looks like and I need to make it historically accurate or if they have a food item and I need to make it match the setting), I take time to break down the story into scenes, which is where Zayn’s explanation finally comes into play.  For several days (sometimes up to a week or so), literally all I do is map out the entire book.  Essentially, this is the whole of the creative process.  I think about settings and pacing and where things need to happen at certain times and all that good stuff.  It ends up very fragmented, but the best part is finishing because then I have 15-25 scenes and a fully finished story.

Numbering aside, this is what Scene 14 looks like for Customer of the Month:

Zayn’s Flat - One week later

FOR THE NEXT WEEK - liam focuses on reading rather than experiencing bc he’s loved the worlds they’ve entered, but he feels like they’re such a small piece of the larger pie and that’s a little unfair to zayn for having created the whole thing

Takes a long time to get through each bc he’s busy looking at the detailed art and appreciating that just as much as the storylines

Thinks about how much easier it’d be if he lived a life this structured and immediately rewarding - saving people or fighting for them

Zayn notices him lost in thought and comes over to see what’s on his mind

I envy his life and practice;  you could do it; no I don’t think I could; let’s see then

NINJA - Gets a training lesson - gruelling and long, knows Zayn will pull him out with the time constraints

Pair up with training partner - Zayn; flirtatious fighting

Get called in for first test to spy and get info on military chief - kill whoever gets in your way; liam knows he’s trained enough that he won’t ever get caught, so he won’t need to make that decision

Make it through mansion and while zayn goes in to get info, liam keeps guard, outwits a single man, but then doesn’t hear young boy walking around - knows he should kill him but can’t even when boy starts yelling, zayn comes out and signals for him to get in and they have to race through the palace to get out safely

So maybe you’re more of a samurai with your compassion

Now, this was the absolute original outline.  Things change and/or get deleted during the writing process, but this is where I start.  So imagine the entire story blocked out this way.  It’s very very very very difficult to do this (in my opinion) because you’re literally writing the entire story in a few days.  But like I said, once it’s done, you’re all good.  You can stand back and look at the whole thing and think, ok this needs to happen sooner or there was no foreshadowing for that, go back and add in scene 5, or, actually I need to add a scene in between these two because this happens too fast.  I know a lot of people/creatives would say, “but that’s why you do what you do - to create.  If this phase is the equivalent of molding a block of clay in a sculpture, then shouldn’t it be the bulk of your enjoyment?”.  Probably, but the amount of creativity and intense focus needed all at once makes the process a lot less enjoyable than you’d think.

So the hard part is out of the way, now what?

The writing.  Sort of.

Oddly, I find myself writing the first 10k or so words normally.  And by that I mean, simply looking at that scene’s bullet note list and writing it fully/coherently.  After that, I tend to peter off and ditch writing linearly for my second method where I “block out” a scene during the daytime and at night, go back and “fill it in”.  Because my motivation/inspiration was so low for the last fic, I sort of went crazy and blocked out about 70% of the fic all at once, then went back for a weekish to fill it all in (spoiler alert: I hated it).  But typically, and certainly going forward, I stick to the daylight/night time routine.

Here’s what a “blocked out” scene based around dialogue looks like as taken from the above ninja scene:

He’s even more determined than I am.

He sort of has to be if he wants to prove himself using only one arm.  I made him a bit like a militant robot for a reason.  -stares at Liam’s side profile-  You could train that hard if you wanted to.

I don’t think I could.

With these muscles?  -squeezes his arms lightly-  At least try so I can watch.

-smiles bashfully-  Can you afford to take the night off?

-liam doesn’t get an answer, just enough time to take a deep breath before he’s launched into another dimension-

And here’s what it looks like filled in:

“He’s even more determined than I am,” Liam mumbles, defeated over what it means to not be able to hold a light to a fictional character.

“He sort of has to be if he wants to prove himself using only one arm.  I made him a bit like a militant robot for a reason.”  Amid Zayn’s pause, Liam can feel his profile being studied, but he refuses to see why.  “You could train that hard if you wanted to,” Zayn opines boldly.

“I don’t think I could.”

“With these muscles?” Liam’s upper arm gets a light squeeze.  “At least try so I can watch.”

The racy comment finally gets Liam to raise his line of sight, his typical bashful smile present.  “Can you afford to take the night off?”

But Liam doesn’t get an answer, just enough time to take a deep breath before he’s launched into another dimension.

From there, it’s straight to editing draft one.  Word count depending, my beta reader will be sent their copy a week or so after that.  While she edits, I do all the administrative tasks associated with putting out a fic (drafting all the ao3 authors notes/tags/summary, making the picspam, making the BTS page, etc.).  When she’s done, I’ll split my screen, go down the fic for a final read through (draft 3), and look for her edits as I do my own.

As my plots get to be deeper slice-of-life pieces, the longer the scene breakdowns will take for me to create.  Without having ultra detailed bullet notes on talking points, the stories’ slow pacing and societal commentary will be near impossible to smoothly weave into a love story.  Can’t wait to see how much hair I lose in the coming years!

Anyhow, I hope this was an interesting look into how my fics go from concept to final product.  If you’re hungry for more, you can go back to the BTS page for “Compartment 451” to see the full fic in scene breakdown.

[borkthemork]

2020 is almost over, and I had to be honest on something that had been on my mind ever since I started getting more active with writing, and just creativity in general.

I had always been a very productive-oriented person. I keep myself on a word count quota each day, I try to learn new stuff on the daily to deter from the precipice of burnout, and everything I do is me trying my best to churn out a heckton of content without being bogged down by me making excuses or having my anxiety kick my ass. Of course, breaks are important, but overall, I had kept myself careful regardless.

And what this year taught me was that I needed to go back to my roots: to why I started creating in the first place.

Because when it comes to social media, there is a potential to lose the reasons you keep going, and it took so long for me to realize what that feeling was called.

I thought it was burnout, I thought it was some form of self-loathing or a mental block that pushed me to be anxious, tense, and weary all the time.

What I ultimately found, was creative cynicism.

Chroma Moma, an artist on Youtube, had described what creative cynicism was in his video “How to fall in love with art again”. It is described as mistrust or pessimism toward creativity; I don’t just mean the definition of creativity itself or just the small portions of creating that you find tedious, but the entire process as a whole. And the moment I listened to what he had to say, what I was feeling clicked into place.

I asked myself numerous times on why I started getting more and more cynical with the writing process. I sometimes joked to myself that this work was shit, sometimes not its best, and that if it was placed under the scrutiny of a hundred or so people I would need to work hard to give it some sliver of recognition. And that was where it started. Instead of doing things out of the sake of my own wanting to create, for the sake of making me happy first and foremost, I began to orientate fully to making content for other people instead of myself. 

One wouldn’t notice at first because the process was slow-going. It always feels the same toward the beginning, until it grows and grows into something fatiguing, back-breaking, to the point that you wonder if you even love doing the things you do. You created things for Inktober, but now your body and mind are tired, and you keep looking through the notifications to see who interacted with it. You wrote something on Ao3, you allowed it to rest for a few hours, and your curiosity got the better of you and checked to see if there were any hits or comments or bookmark tags. You created gifs after hours of editing the space, the colors of the visuals, and you only get a few reblogs and likes. 

It’s hard when the reality doesn’t jostle to your expectations, but it’s even more heartbreaking when you go back to the works you’ve done in retrospect, and notice how your enjoyment wasn’t there throughout the process. Instead, you created them because you felt obligated to, like a creative machine running on the remaining sliver of oil you have in the engine.

Hell, writing this down sometimes makes my brain ponder on how to make it appealing to the algorithm, to make people see and agree with it, even though it’s just me originally trying to place down my thoughts in a messy written format. And that’s okay, nothing about this post has to be perfect, so my brain needs to take a chill pill and calm down!

What 2020 told me was that, I had to take a step back, and set up some boundaries. It’s a slow process for me, since I am pretty stubborn when it comes to interacting on social media, but I don’t need to take massive leaps to get to somewhere better — sometimes it could be imagined tiny hops, or little stepping stones. Sometimes it’s just making a folder to write stuff that only me and me alone could look through. Maybe my documents or projects don’t need to have the sexiest prose or style on the block, or even that much grammar or spelling to have it be meaningful. 

Maybe I could create something imperfect, without even justifying its existence to anyone, not even to myself. That would be enough, wouldn’t it?

[mysticsparklewings]

The Dream Crosser

Surprise! NaPoWriMo didn't kill me (and I'm not abandoning dA because of the incoming Eclipse update either, more on that situation here), I just needed a week off to recuperate...and obsessively play Animal Crossing: New Horizons... Admittedly, I actually drew this well over a month ago (and wrote up the majority of the description!), not just before NaPoWriMo but before I actually had New Horizons in my grasp. The plan was to post it the day I got the game. Which was supposed to be much closer to the game's launch (March 20th). That ended up not happening and the day I got the game was the first day of NaPoWriMo, but 1. I messed up with the non-uniform prompts and spent all of the day trying to catch up so I couldn't even play the game yet, and 2. As a side effect, I ended up having two posts that day and a lot of work to do to catch up the second, and I hardly had time to think about posting this. And even if I had posted it, it would've been drowned in the incoming NaPoWriMo posts. And so, here we are. Really, really, I do have to mention that I truly feel for anyone else still waiting on the game for whatever reason. You have my deepest sympathy and I'm so sorry I can't just give you the game right now and make it better.  I know the wait was hard enough for me, being this is the one game I highly anticipated in over a year and I essentially had the rug yanked out from under me. But I'll save that story for after I talk about the art itself since I'm sure that's what most people are here for and not my pre-order frustrations. So in case you don't know or couldn't tell, this is the lovely Luna from AC: New Leaf's Dream Suite. From what we've seen of New Horizons since it's release, the Dream Suite's functions and purpose have been mostly absolved into the Airport and Dodo Codes, and so I'm very doubtful Luna will actually be in the game in any capacity, which makes me sad. A typical player (including me) wouldn't even necessarily interact with Luna that much in New Leaf unless you really enjoy visiting other towns using Dream Codes, so I'm not sure what it is, but for some reason I just really like her. That's why I picked her to draw to celebrate. I very nearly drew her a long time ago when I was on an Animal Crossing kick in 2018, but at the time I didn't like the idea of pressuring myself into drawing all and/or multiple AC characters just because I wanted to be "fair" to them all (much the same reason I don't draw Pokemon very often), so I ended up drawing One Little Spark, a crossover of the Disney character Figment drawn in the New Leaf style, instead. So in a way, she's had this coming for quite a while. At the time I started working on her, (way back in early March, because I was hoping beyond hope my pre-order would arrive to me actually on launch day, but ha ha ha look who's got egg on her face for that ) I was running a bit dry on artistic motivation, and so while I tried to draw her in my usual manner: Making a sketch, transferring the sketch onto different paper with finalized lines, then picking whichever coloring method I was most into at the time), I was struggling with the sketch. I've had days where I have to work on a sketch for a really long time before I can get something I'm happy with, but this day I was just so not into the whole sketching process. I wanted to create, but I wanted it to be quick and easy and simple. I didn't want to have to poke at it for hours and hours and then still maybe not be happy when I was done. So when I got discouraged enough, I broke away from trying to draw Luna and just drew mandalas instead. (As had become my art-block crutch for a little while.) Somewhere in me, as I worked on other things, I kept going back and forth on what to do about Luna, though. I did still want to draw her, but my usual formula just wasn't working for me. Not for her. I even tried briefly to draw her linelessly, digitally, as what was supposed to be a quick and simple experiment, but that went downhill even faster than sketching did. Although, for some reason, the lineless idea wouldn't leave me alone after that. Finally, I decided to try something completely different. I was going to try and free-handedly draw her, without lines, traditionally. With, primarily, alcohol markers. Honestly, the thought minorly horrifies me now just as much as it did before I started. And yet, here we are and I actually like how it turned out. Allow me to explain how this came together: So, since I wasn't sure how this was going to turn out once I decided to try it, I opted to use my not-so-great mixed media paper so I wouldn't feel guilty about wasting better paper if I ended up hating it. Naturally, this did lead to some notable limitations, but not enough to discourage me from trying. I dove right in with the dark brown for her head and body, focusing on getting the general shapes down. I'd noticed some glaring mistakes in my mostly unproductive sketching when it came to Luna's body proportions, so I tried to keep those things in mind and adjust accordingly as I went. It was scary because there is no erasing this way short of using white paint and because this paper feathers pretty noticeably with markers. Then once I got to a certain point, I had to switch and bring in some pink and off-white markers to draw in parts of her dress so I knew where to put her other arm and her legs. And here is where I technically cheated; I did use my "clear" Stardust Gelly Roll pen to do most of the outlines for her dress. I needed some kind of guideline, but pencil tends to get yucky when you put markers on top and at the time I couldn't really think of a better option. (The joke was kind of on me because somehow I still got a nasty gray line that looked like pencil under her bust that I had to gently edit out later in Photoshop, but I digress.) As I went with the markers, I was also doing some light shading. Not too much, because this paper is really fussy with layers and blending, but enough that I felt like it didn't look completely flat and I could tell where one shape ended and another started. Though, for her nose (trunk? I believe Luna is supposed to be a Tapir) and her raised arm, I had to get a little creative and I used a white brush pen meant for glass/ceramics to put in the lines so you could actually see them. And later I would use the same pen in 3-4 layers to add the white back in for her eyes. With the base for her body, dress, and the bun part of her hair done though, then I had the task of figuring out what to do for her shoes and the details of her face. (Without having to mix and use specific paint for those tiny details.) In the end, I opted to mostly use my classic red Gelly Roll pen for her shoes, and a little bit of a dark red alcohol marker for shading. And then I got to experiment with mixing the classic red and one of the Moonlight Gelly Rolls for her lips so that the color would be visible and not just a dark lip-shaped "what is this." This was because the classic Gelly Rolls don't show up super well on dark surfaces and the Moonlight ones do, but I didn't have the right color straight out of a Moonlight pen. It did take 2-3 careful layers, but I think I managed well enough in the end. I used just one black pen, a Prismacolor brush-tip fine liner, for her eyes, though in-person the white base underneath makes her pupils look about a shade or two lighter from certain angles, which was a very unintentional nice touch. My answer to everything else ended up being gouache, although I did try to come up with pen colors for her eye shadow and the blue dots on her cheeks before admitting defeat that I just didn't have the colors I needed. Originally, I had actually been thinking of trying a lineless art piece with gouache, as I think it would work particularly well for that look, but I wasn't ready to fully commit to the idea, mostly because I seem to be even worse at mixing a non-excessive amount of a specific color with gouache than I am with acrylics, and that sounds like a fantastic way to waste a bunch of palette space because I mixed too much but it's gouache so it can be re-wet and re-use it and I don't want to just throw it away...  (Although I suppose this could be half-way solved by getting a bigger palette specifically for mixing gouache, but I also don't want to have to buy yet another palette when I have some perfectly good ones...If I could just use up all the paint in them already...) Anyway. Point: This is kind of a step between a full lineless gouache piece and not doing one at all. Baby steps, yes? I knew from fairly early on that I was probably going to have to use gouache for the front part of her hair/bangs, since I did not thoroughly plan ahead enough and didn't leave a gap there to do it with markers. Fortunately, I didn't have to do much mixing since my gouache already has a nice yellow ochre color included, and I could use a bit of the other two browns and one I had some leftover mixed already from Roses in Your Eyes for shading. (White for the flowers, too, thank goodness.) And I actually ended up going over most of her bun with gouache too since, by comparison, the marker didn't look like it had much shading and it was bothering me. I did have to mix my own blue and pinky-purple for her makeup, and I ended up with a lot of leftover pinky-purple. But it's kind of okay because by itself it's such a pretty color I'm sure I'll find an excuse to use that one. After that, I just had to do some minor tweaks where the gouache had gotten a bit away from me and then I went ham on the shading for the dress based on my reference photo. Then I realized I wanted some kind of background because this seemed awfully boring without one. And, naturally, I hadn't really planned ahead for that, me being me and being in habit of doing the background last... At first, I wanted to do something hot pink, since her official Amiibo card has a hot pink background, but then I thought that might be a little too loud and I wasn't really sure the best way to apply one without potentially messing her up. And also, this isn't watercolor or paper thicker than 140 lb, which immediately threw watercolor out the window unless I wanted a very uneven paper when I was finished. I'd already pushed my luck with the gouache and been very careful about not using much water with it; I decided it was best not to push my luck any farther. Also, I couldn't use my pink PanPastel, despite that being maybe my best option, because it is still perpetually screwed onto the little Pan Pastel stack with no hope of getting unstuck anytime soon. (One of these days I swear, I will order either another set like the one I have or an individual Pink one to solve this problem, but until then, I am going to bring it up every single time as a caution to others to please be very careful when screwing and unscrewing your own Pan Pastels if you store them screwed together.) And I didn't feel like dragging out some of my drawing pastels and/or makeup that's too expired to use on my face and very slowly building up color and hoping it'll do what the Pan Pastels do. With no better ideas coming to me, I decided I'd leave the drawing for the night and come back to it the next day. After yet more brainstorming the next day, I finally settled on doing a glittery rounded rectangle and filling it with washi tape stripes. This plan did change a little as I figured out which tapes I wanted to use (a purple-y, champagne gold, and light pink ones, the latter two of which look more different in-person than they do on the scan) and as I actually started applying the lines. Partially because this tape is a bit thin and partially because I'm not used to cutting tape around very specific shapes, it took a very long time to both place strips of the tape and then get them cut to fit right up to Luna without looking strange. Once I got to a certain point going in one direction, I realized my next couple of cuts were just going to be too hard for me to stand. I had a choice: Ditch the tape, or figure something else out. Taking a risk, I decided to try and salvage it by doing an almost-plaid/checkerboard with the tape, specifically leaving out certain areas where I knew it would be too tricky to cut the tape. This also turned out to be a good way to use up some of the pieces of tape I'd already cut off that were too small to be used the other way. It's still not the greatest background solution I've ever come up with, but it does the job of making it look less empty, and that's really all I wanted anyway. And you know, compared to official images her proportions look wonky, but by herself (meaning, without comparing the two) I think Luna looks pretty good, actually. (Though, I admit I did have to tweak her right ear in Photoshop because it came out entirely too long and there wasn't really a good way for me to fix it by hand.) To think, this piece started out as such a mess. Or rather, I was such a mess when I started. And yet, here we are, and it looks kinda okay. Okay enough that I finished it and am posting it, at least.   I have no idea if I'll be returning to this style/method for art-making in the future, but even if I don't it was a nice experiment to try, and that's what art is really all about isn't it? Experimenting, trying new things? Speaking of experimenting though, about those pre-order frustrations I mentioned now that I've covered everything about the art itself...(in small text for those that don't care to easily skip over) Back in February I tried twice to pre-order New Horizons from Target, since they were running an ad where if you pre-ordered the game you'd also get an AC themed journal with it, and that combined with my family member's employee discount made it the cheapest/best value way for us to buy the game. As I said, I tried to order it twice. Both times, it was sold out. My family member had even tried to go to the store and have them order it before then, to no avail. After the second time, which was the day after Target sent out the sale paper with the new ad in it, while I was still frustratedly wondering how on earth do you sell out of a pre-order?? I kept refreshing the page every so often just to see if by some fluke it would miraculously not be sold out. I got very lucky around 3 in the afternoon and we managed to get the order in before it sold out again. Now, we're a relatively cheap family, so we didn't pay for the "express shipping" or whatever. Although, this was a $60 game and we were ordering it three whole weeks (on March 2nd) before release. If you ask me, the least they could do is have it shipped out either on launch day (March 20th) or the day after. Especially if I can pre-order a book on Amazon with three days' notice and they can still get it to me on release day. But, okay, I could live with waiting an extra day or up to maybe three if I had to. (And, to be fair, this was all before a certain virus exploded into chaos here in the US.) Much to my dismay, a week before NH release day, I checked the order status with Target only to be told I wouldn't get it until the 26th. A week later. That was pretty disappointing at the time, but it didn't really bother me until the day before and the day of launch when some people were getting their pre-orders early from places like Amazon and Best Buy (and some of them didn't even pay for the express shipping option from their selected source). If those two companies could plan around virus constraints to do that, why in the heck couldn't Target? But, okay, fine. Maybe the virus had something to do with it and they were really doing the best they could. Whatever. A week. Fine. I'll wait a week. A few days later though, we got an email saying: Surprise! Don't expect your dumb video game until April 3rd because we couldn't get our act together! (Okay, that's not what it really said, but that's what it felt like.) And I know, I promise I so know there are much more serious issues going on in the world right now and a video game about talking animals isn't exactly a priority shipment. I know. But it was still massively upsetting after I'd already waited so long. And, honestly, I feel like they had plenty of time and notice to take care of the game before everything else exploded and messed it all up. Again, especially if other companies already had time to even ship orders early and/or get the games to people on launch day. Or the day after. TWO WEEKS after launch, and you don't tell me about the secondary delay until the week I started expecting the game to already be in the mail on it's way to me? The only tiny silver lining is that as I was checking the order to make sure it didn't miraculously get pushed back to sometime in 2021 (because I really had no faith in Target's time estimates at this point) is that it did get bumped back up to April 1st. Although, I did think that it would be the absolute least funny April Fools' Day Joke ever if the day came and it was late because screw me.  But it did arrive to me on April 1st as promised; I just had a million other things to do before I could play it. ) And I will say, I know I could've just canceled the pre-order and bought the game digitally, but it was enough of a hassle to order it in the first place, and if I did that I'd also lose my pre-order bonus. And all that aside, I specifically wanted a physical copy to begin with. I always prefer that when it's possible. So people on the internet that want to eat me alive for not canceling when the shipping got screwed up, there are my reasons. Take 'em or leave 'em. (Seriously, I've seen some people be really rude about this just because they didn't like hearing people upset that they didn't have the game yet...when they already had it themselves or didn't care about AC in the first place...) Moral of the story: Don't pre-order from Target. Or, at least, don't expect the item to actually get to you right around release day. Account for at least two additional weeks of not having the thing. ...Seriously though, how do you sell out of a pre-order?? At least, when it's a highly anticipated game and you're a big company and not some small indie company with limited resources! Sheesh! Anyway. I have the game now, I've been playing it as much as possible and enjoying it. I still have a ways to go before my island is "complete" per se, but it's coming along nicely and I feel more comfortable now taking some more time away from it to get back into the swing of making art and things like that. So hopefully I'll be getting back into a regular posting schedule and you'll have that to look forward to. 

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[shadowtongued]

DISCLAIMER; THIS HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING SINCE DEC 2017, I was just too shy to post it. Keep in mind that I'm not in any way, shape, or form trying to put my headcanons or interpretation of lore over anyone else's and this is pretty much just a general long-form run down for my roleplay blog to help people who aren't familiar with RS, so for my non-RS friends it's more of an explanation of how this 'tall ancient magic alien man' is and works. Physiology and some other cultural blurbs with the occasional emphasis on Sliske, because, well, that's what my roleplay blog is for. This is also mostly a passion project since I'm pretty fixated on this, if you read this at all, kudos to you and ily, ty for coming to my Ted Talk about this. Special thanks to people/friends who put up with me ranting abt this obscure fandom and helped me flesh out headcanons, and @theresiidentdevil  the artwork that i commissioned that i use way too much bc devil really... really did my version of snek man nice. Other imgs used are scrounged from ja.gex’s concept arts and etc. ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT CANON, AND JUST MY PERSONAL HYPOTHESIS, feel free to reblog but please don’t like... edit or try to give me heavy crit or come @ me with some lore bit from so-and-sos tweet that I am wrong and am a doodoo head or something. This was just a spot o’ fun and please don’t try to drag my interpretation or expunge this for laughs on the official lore discord. I’ve seen it done before and it’s not cool. individual creative interpretation is beautiful, mob bullying is not.

To kick things off, the Mahjarrat are one of a few ancient tribes that live on the ash, lava, and stone wasteland that makes up the dead planet of Freneskae. They are highly skilled in magic and intellect by nature, as well as living by a firm form of kratocracy; a government by those who are strong enough to seize power through coercive power, social persuasion, or deceptive cunning. Along with this, their survival revolves around two rituals, one of death and sacrifice, the other of life and breeding. That right there should tell you a LOT about them, socially.  

HEIGHT.

Height varies from Mahjarrat to Mahjarrat, they are always going to be towering over most species, and most humans, as lore states that they generally are 1.5x the average human height. Sans that one wild ass gene of hyper height that makes gargantuan Mahjarrat like Lucien and Zemoregal, who tower over even Azzanadra's spike pope hat. Sliske himself stands at an 8′4 height, but that's just my headcanon for this blog's sake.

SKULLS / BONES.

The Mahjarrat have thick skulls, if this wasn't pretty obvious with the additions of dual lines of bony ridges running parallel from the brow to back of the skull, and lower. Some, but not all individuals have rather, short horns as their 'first ridge' before normal ridges. They also seem to have a subtle browbone ridge above each eye. Sliske, as well as some of the canon Mahjarrat we know, have these short horns and I like to exaggerate them a bit as sharp and more obvious, because who doesn't love horns? I'd imagine there are also ridges across other parts of their bodies such as the shoulders, elbows, knees, smaller ones on the knuckles, and perhaps down the back and along the hips. Go wild. Anyways, their skulls are thick and heavy, as in if it comes down to having to head-butt someone at the sacrificial ritual as a last resort physical conflict when magic is exhausted, someone is going to be using every exploit they can to survive. Anything counts when your life is on the line. 

*above concept art is of their lich-like forms. good for seeing skull shapes.

Most also have rather large jawbones and powerful jaw muscles, and have a decent bite force to clamp down; like above, can and will use the force of their jaws if they have to with a good 1,069 psi (pounds per square inch), a little less than a hyena, meaning they can break bones with enough force. The main reasoning for this is their powerful mandible adductor muscles and the leverage needed to keep their jaw closed in their lich-like forms with the loss of skin and some atrophy, when they begin to run low on energy before every 500 years ( more on this later ), otherwise their toothy jaws would be hanging open and they'd look quite silly. It's quite rare for a Mahjarrat to bite unless as a last resort attack, out of spite when healthy ( almost as if saying 'you are weak and aren't worth the waste of magical energy' ), or for other minute reasons. Males tend to have very pronounced 'spikes' on their chins and larger skull ridges, but it's not completely unheard of a female having a 'spiked' chin and larger ridges. Sexual dimorphism isn’t too well explained or solidified by Jagex, we haven’t really seen much due to the few living Mahjarrat we see.

TEETH / CONSUMPTION.

personal interpretation of sliske’s teeth here.

Speaking of teeth, Mahjarrat have exceedingly sharp teeth for being part of a race that is not carnivorous or needing any sustenance at all. They have more teeth than humans (not really canon, just my personal interpretation, I prefer them being very Alien over ‘grey human reskin’); while almost every tooth has a sharpness to it, be it incisors or tines in the molars. Their front teeth seem to be ridged with smaller points, you probably don't want to get nipped by them, even if it's just playful or affectionate (uh, whatever they deem as affection). It's a real shame that Sliske seems to enjoy this, in the few moments he puts on a faux air of affection to scratch an itch or when deciding to use seduction as a ploy to further his manipulation or intel gathering, among other rare, convoluted feelings towards someone he's 'affectionate' with. Teeth shape and sizes can vary due to the Mahjarrat way of breeding and eugenics to create survivability through offspring on what traits work. Basic Darwinism, tbh. Following my ever favorite serpent motif for Sliske, you can expect his teeth to be pretty ophidian/snake-like. Due to my headcanon to their dark blood color, Mahjarrats may have dark or black gums. Small addition: babs do have sharp defensive baby teeth that fall out into hellish adult ones. Nice.

Mahjarrat do not need to eat or drink, as they are fueled fully by an arcane energy that they receive from rituals, and slowly deplete this over several centuries. Their power can last even longer if an individual is stingy with their power, or unaware of their power like Kharshai, who spent several centuries in a human guise hardly using any energy while unaware he was even a Mahjarrat. Despite not needing sustenance, it's not unheard of for Mahjarrat to attempt eating or drinking for whatever reason, be it pleasure or to emulate others. Hazeel's memories almost adorably describe some Mahjarrat attempting to sit and politely eat with humans to 'bond with them', despite them later having to regurgitate what they had eaten and Hazeel's repulsion at any creature eating at all. Several lore snippets include Zamorak enjoying wine and in Kindred Spirits, Sliske making the comment he may be drunk after downing the contents of a bottle. Whether or not they actually can become inebriated or have any sort of digestive system to even mildly uptake anything is debatable. For headcanon's sake, I like to think Sliske has no issue with pleasure eating and for taste, especially chocolate, fully knowing he'll have to bring it back up later. Most Mahjarrat have tongues that can be dark in color to only slightly brighter due to their dark blood color. Like horns, some end up with a slightly bifurcated tongue tip, some do not and have a single, sharp tip. Sliske is an extreme mutated case and has a very obvious black, snake-like, forked tongue. Just don’t ask him to do the thip thip because he won’t.

(WHERE’D YA GET THOSE) EYES / SENSES.

Usually, A Mahjarrat's eyes correspond to the color of the jewel embedded in their crown, but not always. They have very, keen eyes and their eyesight is exceptional to suit the darkness of Freneskae due to the constant ashfall and cloud cover. They can see short distances, but farther into heavy smoke and ash than most species, and can indeed see in the dark with excellent night vision and have a structure similar to an animal's tapetum lucidem, which is what reflects light and makes that eerie glare you see from animals in the dark. Due to spending a lot of time on Freneskae and being well adapted to that environment, it was quite a jolt for them to get accustomed to sunlight on Gielinor when brought during the Menaphite War, as they were used to heavy 'cloudy' weather due to ash blocking out what light they did get, and being used to the constant lightning strikes and the glow of volcanic rifts and lava pools. But they adapt quite well and while they still prefer muted lights, they have no problem in the sunlight after adjusting a bit. Think of when it’s a sunny summer day and you leave your dark house and how for a few minutes you have to acclimate. Sliske has the most trouble with this, seeing as he still spends quite some time in the darkness of the Shadow Realm which is hazy and muted in light. He's quite prone to straining and headaches/migraines from bright lights on Gielinor ( and Earth since a lot of my writing takes place on Modern Earth ).

Mahjarrat have fairly acute senses and sharp ears, and while most concept art shows them similar to human ears, why not lorge, sharp, and pointy ( as not to be so human )? Plus, imagine a few with larger, pointed ones that flick when irritated. That's cute, but deadly. They can hear fairly well and can hear you talking shit. Not exactly up to par with a bat or a moth, but quite up there with horses or cats. I'd imagine the rest of their senses are pretty keen despite not using taste or smell as much as a human, but most senses are still fairly above a human’s.

I'm not exactly sure how they'd fare in the aspect of touch, but it is known that they are very, very strong and can break bones with their bare hands. They have exceptional strength in their bodies and despite teleporting some ways, I'll bet most of them are decently muscular or lean under those robes due to their solidity and a bad example perhaps, but, uh, have you seen Zamorak's exposed chest? I'm sure 'godhood' didn't change that much, albeit some. Who wouldn't love a decently built Enahkra who will hand your ass to you? A babe. Sliske himself, while being one of the leanest of the Mahjarrat, probably has core strength and broad shoulders under those pauldrons. I'd like to imagine he'd also ( as some other of his kin) would be pretty flexible and train his Praetorians to be similar and absolutely strong in the event of having to resort to physical combat or maneuvering out of capture. Most of them were born on Freneskae, a planet made of plenty of solid rock/crystal cliffs and caves, they made pilgrimages pretty often to the ritual site, so some rock climbing was probably involved as they grew. Plus, image small, child Mahjarrat, not able to teleport or be proficient in magic, just out on a day with less lightning, climbing around, chucking rocks into lava for fun. I'm getting off-topic and we'll talk about babbies some other post.

SKIN / STRIPES / SCARRATIONS.

personal interpretation body/stripe of sliske here. (mildly nsfw)

 Skin colorations are usually running the gamut of dark grey, pale grey, and dull color such as a grey-green, grey yellow and more. It's also notable that Mahjarrat are shapeshifters and are known to slowly take on the appearances of the conditions they are in for extended amounts of time; Kharshai becoming more 'viking-esque' like the Fremennik people who took him in when he was unaware he was human, and also Bilrach's warped appearance from spending god knows how long in Daemonheim with larger ridges, scarring, and some more demonic-looking features. Sliske himself has a very deep, dark slate grey skin tone from the amount of time he spends in the dark of the Shadow Realm, beginning to mimic its dusk. 

Mahjarrat have thick skin, built initially to withstand the heat and abrasion of their home world’s rocky and dangerous climate and environment, but also notably protective against icy and snow-fraught climates, as they have little to no issue or complaint at heading far North of the Fremennik Providence, near the icy fortress of Ghorrock where their ritual stone lays on Gielinor ( it's also notable that Jhallan asks the adventurer to re-seal him within a fuggin’ block of ice to rest again, proving they do not mind the cold at all ). Their skin can scar if proper regeneration is not taken to heal wounds, as Mahjarrat are known for almost instantaneously healing themselves of most wounds on the battlefield to their own volition, but this is quite rarely seen on them, sans Bilrach.  For all we know, they could be quite scarred from lack of regeneration fueled by magical energy or quite severe wounds under those robes that cover most of their body, I personally headcanon that some may have some scarring on their hands and forearms due to the might of some of the spells they use. I also personally headcanon Sliske having a pretty nasty burn across his shoulder and ribs trailing to the hip on the left side from Tumeken's explosive self-sacrifice detonation that wiped out the entirety of his army and at least 3/4ths of the Mahjarrat present, sans the ones spared by Azzanadra's quick shielding. I would think that some of them also may have suffered from similar scars due to Kharshai admitting they were tired and wounded after the event.

Striping and markings can litter their forms in sparse or rather heavy. Most Mahjarrat have at least some facial striping that can be a monochrome pale grey or darker, or a bright color such as Wahisietel's bright red trailing across his ridges to his chin spikes, Enakhra's vivid pink colorations, and Khazard's orange striping. While stripes may look similar from individual to individual you are hard-pressed to find two Mahjarrat with identical markings, and we have never heard of any twins being born from their tribe in canon ( Not saying it's not possible! But that would be a lot of strain seeing as once child is hard enough for a pair to conceive ). It's unknown if the stripes are across the rest of their bodies, but I say to hell with it. Why the hell not? Let the stripes go as angular or curvy as they please across their skin. Why limit the imagination. They are aliens. For the sake of me writing Sliske; he's a very pale silvery, parallel stripy thing under those robes with handsome slate skin. Go figure, that's jus' me though. ( Whatddya mean I made a personal ref of that?? s w e a t s?? slight warning for some not safies. )

CLAWS / FEET.

personal interpretation of sliske’s rock climbin’ sharp feets here.

Mahjarrat probably do have clawed hands and feet, and they are thick and sharp, along with strong ( most likely calloused for some ) palms and heels for climbing ( possibly before they were so proficient with teleporting ) They are also prime last resort weapons if need be and constantly need filing down on Gielinor and other terrains since they aren't around the rocky outcrops of Freneskae and using them there as much, most Mahjarrat seem to opt to wear gloves anyway. Their legs and arms are also pretty sturdy for climbing despite not needing to do so as much. I’d imagine they might just have longer toe and finger bones for mild gripping abilities when it comes to climbing. I’ve also kinda headcanoned often that they probably might have wrapped parts of their feet in bindings, just to keep things like soft arches or tendon areas save when climbing or walking. Ancient hellplanet fashion, baby.

GEMS.

Just about all Mahjarrat ( and Dreams of Mah in general ) have at least one 'crystal' or 'gemstone' in their brows or crowns ( whoever in the wiki said Sliske doesn't have one is a fraud, just because we don't see it due his V tapered hood doesn't mean it's not there, as it has been shown in several concept arts that he does have two yellow-green or 'peridotite' colored diamonds, like his half-brother’s four of the same color ). When asked about it in the Children of Mah quest, Wahisietel states that even they are not sure as to why they have them but believe it to be a direct connection to Mah. It's also implied that a dead Mahjarrat's 'crystal' often records their last thoughts or actions. Most Mahjarrat have the exact same bright iris color as their stones ( the concept art with Sliske having gold eyes throws me off, but I'd imagine there could be some minor color differences ). It seems that gemstones look-alike from siblings and offspring, as Sliske and his half-brother Wahisietel have almost the same colored crystal and shape despite Wahisietel having four diamonds to Sliske's two.

 ORGANS? OR LACK THEREOF? 

personal interpretation of nasty snake man blood here.

It's truly unknown as to just how many organs Mahjarrat have and if there is any comparison to be made to humans. It can be hypothesized they do have at least a heart ( With more chambers than a humans? Or two! Who knows! ) and lungs. If they do have lungs, it could be stated that they are very strong and made to filter out the heavy ash and debris of Freneskae's poor air quality, our adventurer had enough trouble breathing on Freneskae if you didn't take face gear. They do not seem to have a digestive tract as they do not need sustenance or hydration and perhaps have a makeshift stomach that leads nowhere as if they do eat anything, they just have to regurgitate it. Onto blood, they possibly do have a circulatory system and blood, as Lucien states he didn't 'want to spill any more Mahjarrat blood'. Normal human blood would be a bit boring so I like to imagine they have thick, dark-colored blood that has some iridescent properties to it ( not glittery, but if you have ever seen what the ink in a ballpoint pen looks like when dumped out, it has a particular shine to it. ) and never seems to be just one color, like an oil slick. Probably because it's so rich in arcane properties which would also make it pretty toxic, bitter, or awfully sickly sweet. This also means that they would blush pretty dark in color and have dark-colored tongues and etc. rather than red like humans, that's.... kinda cute.  Also, if we are talking about organs and parts, a small blurb, no, female Mahjarrat do not have boobs. There's no need since they probably do not feed their young at all. So breaking canon for the sake of biology, hi, Mahjarrat probably don't have boobs or nips. Kinda doesn’t make sense. SHRUG. But they do have belly buttons, so maybe they are gestated with umbilical cords.

THE BANE OF THE JMOD’S EXISTENCE: MAHJARRAT REPRODUCTION

Y'all wanted it Jmods yell when we ask for it, here it is: my reproduction hypothesis. We have little to no real canon lore for Mahjarrat other than that they do(?) reproduce sexually, it takes a lot of energy to do so (abt 50% physical effort, 50% the pair pooling their life energy into the event, kinda dangerous), and that they are culturally fond of breeding during earthquakes ( this was just a cultural tradition and it's probably possible to breed outside of this tradition, the jokes say it’s almost Pavlovian ). They have a specific ritual for breeding, The Ritual of Enervation. The Enervation is the foil of a Ritual of Rejuvenation where one of their kind is sacrificed to provide all others with energy and return them from their lich-like states to fleshy filled out ones, the Enervation is a pilgrimage to select a mate and breed to create a new Mahjarrat between a pair. It's slightly hinted that the pair chooses their mate based upon battle prowess or cunningness ( Zemouregal Senior chose his mate based on her skills in battle ) . Much like real animals today, they want only the strongest genetics and mutations to continue on. All of them fight each other for their pick of a mate. Very rarely do the pairs have any emotional attachment, this is rare. And the ritual still isn't pretty; I'll say it, they are rough lovers. Expect biting, scratching, bruising, and more. Kinky. Let me tell you, human genitalia are boring as hell when you are describing aliens. Phallic genitalia differs a lot from individual to individual, it's a slight 'grab bag to see what part works best for future genetics'. Mahjarrat bits are pretty internal until aroused since it makes no sense for them to be external seeing as all Mahjarrat lose a lot of skin and muscle to atrophy as they age and lose energy, so they'd do better internally and tucked away. Vaginal genitalia differs heavily as well, anything goes. Barbs? Sure. Flowery looking bits? Sure. It's aliens, guys. Go wild. Same thing with sexualities and genders, other than what they want to present themselves as, we don't know shit, so go for it. I'm fairly sure Mahjarrat really don't mind gender identity and anything goes, they see power, survival, and fighting over everything else. Sliske, of course, is male presenting and yes, has his own unique bits. Uh, ridges, bifurcated tip, fan-like appendage for preventing backflow. I'd describe more but I'm already pRETTY FUCKING SHY RIGHT NOW BC I DON'T KNOW HOW TO talk much abt this. I'm a beginner alien fucker. Give me a break. UPDATE: I went there, I no longer have shame. bc I roughly drew it.

I’m not sure what the good estimate would be when it comes to how long a Mahjarrat gestates, is it longer than a human? Quicker due to magic? We just don’t know. The birth rate is exceedingly low due to the dangers and strain of Freneskae, it's not unheard of for miscarriages or mothers to pass away from lack of energy or during the fray of the constant other tribes attacking each other. Generally, it's a duty to protect a gravid mother of the sake of population, mate or not. Putting aside your disdain for your nemesis was hard but needed if you wanted to keep your tribe thriving. Fathers don't tend to stick around after the ritual other than to check in to protect their child and future genetics as insurance. Mothers rear children and if they could get along and not spat at one another, often looked after each other's children. Maternal groups were pretty common and one could leave another to watch their kids while they went off on their duties of making lightning rods, scouting, and more. 

MISC? 

Mahjarrats don't exactly have the same bonds as humans and familial life was harsh, mainly due to the stress of knowing your own blood one day might betray you and vote you off to be the sacrifice at a ritual. They are not affectionate as much as humans and care in their own backwards way about each other if they are family, but it's an arm's length approach. Sliske and Wahisietel seem to get along and still probably have their ferocious verbal quarrels and have possibly even physically scuffled a bit over things, but managed to have concern for one another, as do Mahjarrat who are as best a definition of 'friends' can be to them. Remember that they are very paranoid of one another and usually only see eye to eye if in the same political faction or having to make a deal or coerce one another to stand up for you if you are challenged at a ritual ( later on this became a huge political agenda between the two main sides; Zamorakian or Zarosian and fighting intensified at dislike for each other ). As they evolved from their creation, they just generally became more and more mistrustful of each other to point of paranoia. So affection is incredibly weird to them and the first thought that comes from it is 'what do you want and why?' and it's expected to be a deceitful notion. Hence, Sliske is incredibly good at persuading others and using deceitful action to lure people but the moment it's done to him, he'll play along but consider it warily as false notions. Sorry not sorry, that's pretty habitual to him and will stay with him, as well as his kin. You're never going to have a 'stable relationship' with any Mahjarrat. Well, not 100% at least. You can try, they might even appreciate it if they aren’t offended.

That’s about all I wanted to say and anything left out of this word spew can be covered in other posts. Like culture.... or babbies. I have a lot to say about Babjarrats but no place right now to keep up this long shit.  UPDATE: i talked abt my thoughts on babjarrats. it was the best of my life.

[sunnydawn444]

New Post has been published on Sunny Dawn Johnston

New Post has been published on http://sunnydawnjohnston.com/blog/numerology-report-step-forward-the-gift-of-octobers-1-vibration/

Numerology Report: Step Forward –The Gift of October’s 1 Vibration

Step Forward –The Gift of October’s 1 Vibration

September’s 9 vibration presented us with endings, completions, reassessments, clearing clutter (physical, mental, digital), taking a hard look at what’s working what’s not, and letting go… or preparing to let go. Kind of like full moon energy, only all month long.

Many of the shifts and stresses that showed up had to do with one or more of your relationships (including the one you have with yourself), since we are in a 2-year. It may have required forgiveness (the 9), letting go of how you thought it should be (the 9), and also seeing things from a different perspective (the 2).

Another aspect of September’s energy was asking you to learn (or be willing to learn) to be comfortable with not really knowing what comes next, but knowing things as they are  just isn’t cutting it anymore. Yeah, that’s unsettling. And possibly triggering you in ways you don’t understand.

In tune with the 9 vibe of September, I cleared out a bunch of clutter from my house and released my office, again. Plus there was a lot of family stuff going on, including our cat Dexter preparing us for his departure. And boy can he be annoying in the process! I have to remind myself that he is a stubborn old man in cat years (he’s 18), but he thinks he’s still the baby.

Now we shift from the 9’s spotlight on what no longer is working well or has run its course to October’s 1 vibration of what do you want instead.

October is a 1 vibration month. The primary essence of the number 1 includes Beginnings, Creativity, Ideas, Originality, Inventive, Individualistic, Leadership, Organization Positivity, and Independent.

Other Aspects of the 1 vibration are: intelligence, inspiring, courage, proud, possibilities, opening, initiation/initiating, development, methodical, determined, authoritative, assertive, healthy ego, self-focused, opportunity, manifesting, and intention.

And because October is the 10th month of the year, you also have the subtle manifesting energy of the number 10 working behind the scenes. This is a good news/bad news vibration, as the number 10 is the Wheel of Fortune – whatever you focus on you bring to you. So if you are stuck in worry or lack, then more of that energy of worry and lack show up. ARRGH!

So this month (and really, every month) be the thought police for yourself.

Don’t go crazy thinking “cancel, cancel” or “erase, erase” every time you catch yourself in those yucky places in your mind. Because when you do that “cancel erase” shtick it just puts even more energy towards what you don’t want.

No, instead of throwing more fuel into your negative mind chatter, just acknowledge the thought and let it float away like a bubble. Then think about what you do want. Appreciate the things you do have. Gratitude and appreciation really help you raise your vibe to a more attractive manifesting place.

So if September was like an immersion in full-moon releasing energy all month long (whew), October will be more like being immersed in new moon energy all month long.

I wish I could tell you that the intensity of the energy on beautiful planet Earth will calm down and move from a category 3 hurricane to a light breeze, but that would be delusional and misleading. The energy is amped up for a reason and that is to help us strip away the old programming, the outdated systems, and all the things you cling to that are really not part of who you really are… just something you picked up along your journey.

We started a new 9-year cycle in 2017 that was about coming home to you, then moving into self-mastery with the end goal of self-sovereignty. You’re on the path. You might be kicking and screaming because things aren’t working the way they used to. And that’s because the old has to crumble to make way for the new.

On the bright side, this is a month ripe with creative energy. If you’re an artist or any kind, you can tap into this and boost your creative expression. If art isn’t your thing, this creative energy can be harnessed to help you create what you want in life, career, business… or at least get you moving in that direction.

That’s why when I tapped into the energy and asked my guides what the theme for this October was, the message I received was:

Step Forward.

Yes! It is time for you to step forward in one or more areas of your life. It can be a baby step or a giant step, or something in between. Your choice.

“Ahh,” you say, “but what is my first step?”

Your first step is to commit fully to moving forward and being open to whatever that next step is. The step doesn’t reveal itself until you make a decision to take that step into the unknown.

And that, my friends, is one of the hardest things for adult humans to do. Take a step without knowing what the step is, what it entails, if it will hurt, if you can really do it, or if you will make a fool of yourself, or if you will fail (or succeed). I totally understand. I get this way too. Yet kids leap into the unknown all the time. They call it play. We, on the other hand, might feel the need to control, which gets in the way of creating anything new.

Maybe this month you let your adventurous inner child out to play more.

The next part of October’s theme is designed to help you take a Step Forward…

Be Inspired – and – Show up for yourself

So I ask you to sit with both of those things, feel into them…

Be Inspired

What does it mean to be inspired?

How does it feel to be inspired?

What inspires you?

How can you add more of that into your daily life?

Show up for yourself

What does show up for yourself mean?

Does it feel selfish?

Are you better at showing up for others then yourself? If so why?

Do you self-abandon, thinking others are more important that you?

Do you put yourself last on your list?

What do you currently do to show up for yourself?

What one thing can you do to show up for yourself?

Now sit with taking a Step Forward…

What’s the first thing that comes to mind?

What would you like to do or have?

What vision or goal did you create at the beginning of the year? Is it time to take a step forward into that… or maybe shift course a bit?

If you knew you would succeed, what is it you wish to do or create?

Are you willing to commit to moving forward in one or more areas of your life now?

Which areas?

Decide to take that baby step or leap forward now… trusting that the right opportunity will appear, the step will be revealed and the new adventure begins… be sure to dump your attachment to what it looks like!

Ready, set, go…

If it helps, you can say one of my favorite affirmations as you take that step (or contemplate taking that step): “Things are always working out for me!”

You can do it. I believe in you. Have courage.

The Shadow Side of the 1 vibration may show up as:

Overthinking

Controlling

Trying to make something happen

Impatience & frustration

Being hypersensitive

Blocked and fearful

Stubborn

When you realize you are exhibiting shadow elements, stop what you’re doing and take a nice deep breath. If you put your hand on your heart, it shifts your attention from your head and crappy thoughts.

Take 3 deep breaths – inhale slowly and exhale slowly. Imagine a pink light surrounding your heart space and your thoughts as you do this. Imagine the fear, resistance and any other undesirable behavior floating away in that bubble of pink light. Imagine filling yourself with the light of unconditional love or joy. I like to use gold light, but you can choose whatever feels good to you.

I invite you to then think about what you would like your life to be like instead of whatever was going on that sent you into the shadow.

Now what one small thing can you do today to take you in that direction?

  Step fearlessly into that uncomfortable territory of the unknown. For that is where your growth and opportunities await you.

With Love and Appreciation, Karen

  Karen M. Winkelman

Intuitive Consultant for Your Life and Your Business

An eclectic mix of creativity and business, woo and practical, spirituality and science, Karen is a natural counselor who can help you reframe a situation, reconnect with your creative essence, and rediscover your sense of self.

For most of her life, Karen’s empowered other creatives and heart-centered professionals to find clarity and direction, bust through blocks and get unstuck. Whether working with clients, speaking at an event, or chatting with friends, Karen blends intuition, wisdom, and spiritual teachings with deep listening, practical guidance, and a wickedly playful sense of humor.

Intuitive numerologist, idea generator, and illuminator, Karen can help you see possibilities and give you permission to stop “Shoulding” yourself and be and do “You” instead.  Karen is available for consultations, workshops and speaking engagements.

If you’d like your personal numerology forecast for 2018 or if you’d like clarity and direction for those pesky issues in your life or business, I’d love to work with you if we’re a fit. Let’s connect:  www.TheLifeCraftingGuide.com and  https://www.facebook.com/karen.m.winkelman.lifecrafting

[officialthiamlibrary]

Welcome to another profile on Behind the Screens, giving you personal insight on who your favorite creators are and what they do when they aren’t wowing you with their creative ability.

Hiya! I’m popping out of my writing cave to share with you the greatness of another artist, Glitter-cake20, also known as Sammy.  You’ve probably seen her awe-inspiring manips, gifs, incorrect quotes, and stories floating around your dashboard. In our talk, she shares her #1 guilty pleasure ship, creates her optimal Teen Wolf Puppy Pack spin-off, and lets us in her creative process.

Sammy! Why don’t we start off simple? Tell us about yourself. The catch: the word count is either to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf episode names. (ex. Raving + Galvanize = 19)

Memory Found + Smoke and Mirrors = 25

I’m really lazy. I like reading. I’m great at killing zombies on Xbox. I have blood in my coffee stream. I have resting bitch face. 

Ooh, what makes these two your favorite?

Memory Found because i feel like that is really where Theo learned to be selfless. He fought with Liam knowing he could get killed or taken, and then later he literally sacrificed himself for a pack that wanted him dead.

Smoke and Mirrors - the entire Mexico trip was great but the part that really stood out in Smoke and Mirrors was when Berserker Scott had Liam pinned to the wall and Liam said “Scott listen! You’re not a monster, you’re a werewolf like me” which parallels to earlier in Season 4 when Scott had said that same thing to Liam. It was just beautiful because it showed how Liam had accepted himself as a werewolf.  Also, Derek evolving was just wow!

And how did you come to the Thiam fandom? What about them drew you in?

You know, I had just created a twitter account and I was just following few accounts for Teen Wolf, kind of just bopping along with all the other popular ships, and then someone made a post about “OMG what was THAT” and I opened the video and it was Theo and Liam making glorious eye contact, and I was never the same again.

What drew me in the most was that Theo was so vulnerable when Liam brought him back. He was once such a badass and now he was suddenly latched on to Liam - just made my heart melt. And Liam is my boy, but he made me so angry when he was mean to Theo! Like no boo, that’s not how Scott raised you!

Lately, there’s been exclamations from our pack about Thiam bleeding into their real lives (like, seeing their relationship in every movie/song or experiencing story plots in real life, etc.), have you felt this sensation recently? If so, in what ways?

Yes!  I was sitting at a coffee shop writing the other day, and this adorable couple walked in. My brain immediately went “That’s Theo and that’s Liam” And I’m like, what is actually wrong with me? And literally every epic movie quote is now about Thiam, I’ve actually done a bunch of edits about that, which I will share for the Thiam Movie Fest.

Omg! That totally happens to me all the time, everywhere!! Since you see Thiam in anything, would you say they’re your #1 guilty pleasure ship? If not, what are your guilty pleasure ships, couples where you don’t care who knew or who disagreed, you ship them regardless?

Oh gosh I’ve had many. Stalia was one.  I really liked the dynamic, in the same breath I was also pining for Stydia. I loved Jethan when that teaser came out.  Briam, although I don’t think anyone would disagree.  Brett and Mason!  And even when Scott and Allison broke up I was like, no but Scallison.  I literally ship anything. 

If you could build the ultimate paintball/laser tag team from any five characters on Teen Wolf, who’d be on your team and why? Twist: now, choose one Teen Wolf villain who’d be your secret weapon, provided they don’t double-cross you first, mwhahaha. 

Mmm okay…(this actually makes me excited!) So for paintball, first of all I’d choose Corey for his ability to disappear and strike from a position unknown to our opponents. Then I would pick Theo, he’s proven to be quite strategic and cunning in mapping out a plan! Peter, because he just no objection to kicking ass, any time any place. Kira, because she can divert the paintballs with her sword (and yes in my mind they would allow her to take the sword onto the field, shh). Braeden, because she’s just a total badass and I just love her. And for my secret weapon I would choose Jackson so he can paralyze the opposing team with his Kanima venom!! Ha!

Jackson would be a total knockout secret weapon. The game would be over in seconds lol! Let’s jump into your works. Like @da-smiley99​, our artist last week, you also create a little bit of it all: drabbles, gifs, manips, and incorrect quotes. For you, which would you say is your favorite art form? How do you balance creating them all? 

I really love doing the incorrect quotes, they are fun and I enjoy looking for gifs to match!

Whatever inspiration hits first is what I will do, most of the time its manips/aesthetics that I do for other writer’s work. I love appreciating and promoting what people have created because I know the effort that goes into it. There are still so many works I would like to do an edit for!

If your creative process for these pieces was a person, describe him or her to us. What do they do? Wear? Listen to? How do they handle conflict?

She’s running around in a pink fur coat, stilettos, champagne in hand, chocolates stuffed in her cheek yelling “OH MY GOD!” at everything. I imagine her in a clothing store, the clothes being ideas, and she’s just grabbing everything pilling it onto her arm in a heap, eventually losing her balance and falling over. So when the shop assistant (my family) is like “Mam, you need to calm the hell down” she just runs to the next store, her champagne spilling as she wobbles down the sidewalk in the way-too-high stilettos. She probably listens to Taylor Swift in her pink drop top.

And what’s hers (and your) writing Kryptonite? How do you two battle it?

With regards to writing -I come up with the most amazing and original idea for a story and I manage to write one mind blowing paragraph and then I’m stuck.  That’s why I take so long to create a story, it just takes me forever to get inspired again.  I have a few WIP’s and I don’t know what to do with them!

Creating comes pretty easy and I haven’t had many hiccups while editing. I just suck at making video edits and I honestly wish I was better at it because I have so many ideas! I usually fight writer's block with generous amounts of wine.

If you did become that video-making mastermind, which one of those ideas would you explore first?

I always wanted to do an AU vid of Thiam just living life you know. Id also like to do a “trailer” for these amazing fics that’s been written, kind of like what was done for Airplanes!

I sense a perfect opportunity to practice your videographer skills, mentally, of course! Say you were the Jeff Davis of the Puppy Pack Teen Wolf Spin-Off. Describe your very first and last scene of the pilot episode? How would you put your personal touches on those two scenes? 

Personal Touches: A-class lighting because we suffered enough with the ever loving darkness of Teen Wolf.  I’d like to see the characters develop more of a personal style, Liam would probably wear more ‘jock’ outfits as he plays varsity lacrosse now. I’d love to put Theo in shorts for a change, maybe an early morning kitchen scene where he is wearing boxer shorts…okay I’m getting distracted.

Eeek!  Okay so, the Opening scene would be Theo, Liam and Alec running from hunters, Theo has Liam by the arm, he pushes Liam and Alec into his truck and ducks in behind them. They speed off. Then he starts yelling at Liam “Are you crazy, Li?! I’m getting real tired of saving you!” (que fandom freaking because he is calling him “Li” now) and then at Alec “And you! What the hell did we tell you about sneaking out with Liam!?” Liam and Alec are just out of breath trying not to  laugh at Theo. Theo calls Mason to confirm that they are fine.

Closing scene: Liam flops down on the couch in the McCall house, next to Theo (because that’s where he is staying now) “So, uh, thanks for coming to get us today”. “You’re an idiot” but Theo smiles. “How did you find me anyway?” Liam is twiddling his thumbs, “Tracked your scent” Theo gets up abruptly and leaves. Yup it’s going to be a slow burn!

Oooh, and which TW characters would you bring back as cameos or minor characters?

Frikken Danny! I feel like the guy deserved better. So definitely Danny.  I’d make him the supernatural privy teacher at the high school. Brett would also come back -as a ghost haunting Liam, especially when Li gets angry then Brett would just be in the corner jabbing insults at him and the pack would look at him like he’s crazy when he yells at the wall to shut up. Scott would make regular appearances. Deaton, Argent and Melissa would be regulars, and I think a guest appearance by Jackson because for some reason they are going to need a vile of his Kanima venom. Kira’s going to come looking for her sword at one point. And Isaac shows up with Scott a few times.

I agree with you about Danny; we needed more of him! We should petition to get you in the writer’s room because I need your ideas to happen!! 

How about gifs/manips specifically? Where does your inspiration for those stem from?

I would think of a scene that I really would have loved to happen and then I try to match it as best I can using existing material. Sometimes i would just be scrolling through gifs and I’d be like “oh wait! This with this is perfect!”

Ooh, up for a quick demonstration? Let’s pick one of your favorite fanfiction scenes lately. Which images/thought processes would stick out to you? Any specific gifs come to mind?

So let’s take Airplanes 28 for example. The scene where Liam is weighing up all his options about how to deal with his feelings and Theo asks what his problem is.  I would use the scene from S6 in the locker room where Liam is punching the locker, it had a few different shots of Liam being frustrated. For Theo’s part I’d use the scene form 6x16 where he actually says ‘what is wrong with you”. Then I just use the app to edit and merge them and voila.

That’s pretty neat. I didn’t even know you could use apps to mash gifs together! If someone wanted to get started with creating manips/gifs, what advice/steps would you give them?

If you’re doing it from your phone, like me, you have to firstly find the right gif app preferably one that does video to gif and vice versa. There are a few that work really well, so hit me up if you want more detail!  I’m also still learning so if anyone has any suggestions let me know.

We’ve chatted about your art for Thiam. Do you also create outside of the Thiam fandom? Original Fiction/Artwork? Other Fandoms?

I used to write and draw when I was younger, the Thiam fandom actually got me back into all of that! I don’t have any of my earlier writing works anymore but I still have drawings.

Aww, can you remember what you liked to write back then?

It was all fictional stories, mostly horrors! I loved writing scary stories, short or long and I would sometimes freak myself out a bit, especially late at night. I remember the one was about a guy whose car ‘broke down’ on a deserted road and he went looking for help at an old farmhouse and couldn't figure out why the people were so weird towards him, so after a few days he left, walking back down the road and he came across his car completely wrecked, his dead body hanging halfway out the door...he was a ghost haha.

Looking ahead, what’s one piece you’re working on that you’re dying for the pack to see?  

Yes! This is a snipped of the AU I’m doing for the Movie fest:

-“That’s him,” Corey said nodding in Theo’s direction “that’s the Judo champ”,

By the time Liam realised he had been staring it was too late, Theo’s head was tilted to the side, an amused grin spread across his face as he looked down slowly at this abdomen and then back up at Liam. There was no reason for Liam to deny that Theo Raeken was gorgeous, that he looked like a demigod in the golden light of the street lamps, but this was not the time for these kinds of thoughts. ‘Get it together Liam’, he shook his head as if to rid his mind of Judo Boy.-

I will also attempt some manips for this piece!

Ooh, intriguing. How dare you stop there! I guess we’ll just have to wait until next week, smh. One final anecdote before we wrap up?

Characters often find themselves in situations they aren’t sure they can get themselves out of. When was the last time you found yourself in situation like that and what did you do?

The PA of our department at work tried to sell me sex toys from this ridiculously expensive catalogue and tried to make me have a sex toy party for my birthday because she would get a free gift and commission for it. First I said, but my friends and family ain’t about that life, and she’s like “No I’ll just invite all my friends it's fine” (to my birthday?? Okay bih). So then I said I’ll think about it hoping she’d forget. She didn’t.  Eventually I told her that I’m not doing anything for my birthday but thanks.

Oh no, she didn’t! It was your birthday smh. You’re stronger than me! Not only would she convince me to throw the party, I’d have bought at least  two things from that freaking catalogue haha! Well, we’re coming to an end, but first, what’s next for you? Both in life and in the creation world? 

Career wise I’d like to do a few courses, and really start going into the direction of what I really love, which is anything creative, instead of just doing a 9-5 to pay bills, you know?  So I’m going to look for a way to bring these two worlds together so that I can always do what I love. Fandom wise, I really want to do more writing, explore different characters and ships!

And, we’ll be over here, looking forward to more of your writing! Finally, Is there anything else you’d like to say? The floor is all yours. Dance away!

I hardly get to writing my own ideas so I’m reluctant to say that I'll take prompts for fics and frankly I take so long to write that it will be disappointing, however, if someone has a scenario/idea for an incorrect quote, manip or aesthetic requests, I’m all for it! I would love to do it! Other than that i just want to thank this entire fandom, you guys are keeping this ship sailing and its beautiful! Keep doing what you’re doing!

Aww, thank YOU for writing, creating, and giving us a lens into your world! I’ll be looking forward to the day you gift us with all the Thiam videos haha. From there, we give you Glitter-cake20. 

As always, you can keep the conversation going; respond to any of her thoughts, ask more questions, send a prompt, or simply swing by for a chat with Sammy anytime. To dive into her works, check out her Tumblr. You can also find her on instagram!

Tumblr: Glitter-cake20

Ask Box: glitter-cake20

Instagram: @spraybitch_chrisberry

That’s all for now, so stay warm, amused, and tuned for next week’s Movie AU edition with @underthegallowws.

Over and Out <3 

Get involved in the Behind the Screen series! Have a Thiam Creator you fan over, from any platform (AO3, Tumblr, Wattpad, Instagram, FFN, etc). Please send us their names. Bonus points if you include any questions you’re dying to ask them. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

[coldlipsmag]

PHONELESS IN BERLIN

Words: Kirsty Allison

All photographs by Martyn Goodacre, except images of Danielle De Picciotto’s art, and Alexander Hacke’s studio…and the portrait of Morgan, by Kirsty.

Clouds’ shadows camouflage the sea. Sardine boats dodge the lifeboat wind farms. I jet-trash over last night’s cab, and the phone left on the back seat.

SCHONEFIELD AIRPORT

“Yes,” with an ‘of course’-face, “It has all the streets on it.” The tourist board office give me a map with the VisitBerlin travel card – 41E for 6 days, generous. I like free travel, and I like maps. Not Maps that rhyme with apps. I see the island of West Berlin – I put all the streets in my long black woollen notebook pocket.

U-BAHN/S-BAHN

Map in a glass cage – no index – I’ll take a photo – look at it when I’m moving – I can’t take a photo. My cogs shift from the cybernet dimension.

Alone. Letting go of my infatuation with being monitored, I feel an analogue glitch, a slip of fortune as I enter the low-rise city, uninterrupted with pings.

A watch. I could buy a watch – to tell the time.

I could walk rather than do the connection.

THE HORRORS / Synästhesie Festival / Volksbühne

“The people putting this festival together told me this granite floor was from Hitler’s Bunker,” says Anton Newcombe of the Brian Jonestown Massacre and A Records, DJing in the green room, two floors of sweeping staircases up in the People’s Theatre of Mitte’s Rosa-Luxemburg Platz – once the centre of East Berlin’s GDR.

“Do you believe them?” I ask, of the 8MM Bar promoters who put the festival together. We consider the plausibility, the Nazi star, in dirty creams and blood reds.

Mark Reeder later confirms it to be from the Nazi Vice Chancellor office. And of the cenotaphs stashed beneath the KuDamm – the Nazi spikes. Close enough. Anton is a hero – DIG! the film he stars in aside spars, The Dandy Warhols – an essential on the rock n roll rites-of-passage Reading List. Between his selection of classic psychedelia: “I was born in 1967, in California, of course I’m psychedelic”, with highlights such as Fabio Viscollios 7”, he sets the record straight on all kindsa connections that zip around my references of the night – the stars that guide us, the magnets who form us.

Arrival in Neukölln

So 90s, no blue arrow locator. Without the digital psychographic veils of my screen, the meaning of wrong direction changes – I love to travel, to feel on top of the globe, wherever you walk, with only the weight of the identifiers you carry.

Natural order leads me to Stroke Order – my faux-god-sista, of the Sacred Sound Club – her haus is pink. Y3 shoes, high ceilings, dribble shower, CK mirror. She’s a costume designer for films, but has been hiding out here for a year. Making minimal techno – using autonomous sensory meridian response samples – sounds that turn us on.

Our mothers are pretend godmothers to me and her. She grew up in Vancouver. Dad is a motorcycle racer and ballet dancer in Japan.

Synästhesie Festival / Volksb��hne

CAMERA take to the main stage of seated theatre hall. Brutalist fractal collage films of matrix shifting cities, juddering with intent. Projections of you watching me watching you – perhaps being shot live in the auditorium – full scope. Beaming around the physical force of a standing drummer triballing out for a 20 minute set on a bass drum, snare and cymbal. The centre-piece. Astral simulacrum to The Egg who I played with earlier this year. The standing drummer keels in sweat, throws a death white sheet over the drums as though he has beaten them dead, only to dampen their noise, and continue hitting and hitting. Keys, 2 x guitar, sitar bass, different genereration radical on sax – elf dancing.

I’m reminded of the need for parameters – the ones we invent to live inside. The significance of numbers plays on the screens – another hallucination. A replacement for seeing everything through snapshot Insagram lens. Abandoning our digital religion – is so FKK (freikörperkultur – the GDR East Berliners act of rebellion was to strip on Sundays around the lakes – to rip off the communist soaked nylons of identikit clothing*). So naked.

TANGERINE DREAM

A violinist in black – modular synth Memotron on one side – a bank of other buttons on the other side. One life. One nerve shatters and then rest follow. First they twitch, and glitch the matrix…

I catch a bit of THE PINS – all girls – superhot, riot grrrrl electronica.

THE HORRORS

Violent Lenin Uber Alles track shatters across the increased scale of the stage for this headline performance – punk anger of East Berlin, red deco chandeliers of alles Ku-damm Cabaret glory. Waiting for Faris Badwan, the singer who I first interviewed for Dazed and Confused, making a film about his illustration – and exhibition, I wonder about the symbolism of genre/sound/music/art as signs of the times – about resonance – of what we are creating and producing – of X Factor sounds as the capitalist panacea – of our art resonating our environment – or us gravitating towards it. Stroke Order making techno in Berlin.

The futurism of white noise perfection – the dystopian values, four albums in from when I first met Faris – he was maybe 23 then. Unsure if he was going to carry on at St Martins art school. By the time I interviewed him again for Vogue, he was not going back.

And here, seated in the very front row – I witness the evocation of destiny – he’s become less of the shy frontman, but someone who is commanding the respect of the universe – he violently whips the mic lead – he hails the pulses of front row screamers, bonding their necks with rubber wire – he in black PVC – guitarist in red lipstick – beautiful rockstar boys. Lyrics are lost in the Elritch reverb – Faris is crown stealing. Volatile black energy of goth industrial – contemporised by Tom Furse – and his techno pyramid synths. Ice sweat dripping Hackney vampire bassist Rhys Webb. Faris has become storming iconic balearic, striding over theatre seats, in smart city shoes. It’s cosmic goth, it is power – it is owning the depth of Poe hell to Blakean heavens. From voyeurs to submission, the audience leave satisfied.

WEDDING/NW multi-cultural reaches of the city.

Fire station studio. Danielle De Picciotto walks us across a courtyard in twilight. Pyramid of flowers, split by stairs to a below-sea-level, waiting buddha, draped with beads. Left and right basement of Californian security doors, co-joined studios, His and Hers. Drums on the male side, Alexander Hacke, Einsturzende Neubatten – poles of metal to hit. Next door: paintings of black and white folklore S+M dolls with tripped out wings, and photograph reflections. Hers. With tea. Laughter. Discussion. Love. She is love.

***

Lost – ghetto kid guides me and Stroke Order to the ambient dinner in a bar beneath a block in Wedding: soundproof triangles of three-tone pastel shaved hardwood. Clean vegetables, and a series of performances from three post-Akai-ists. Poetry, soundscapes layering paranoic schizophrenic voices – a DJ girl in from Seattle. The residents, ex-pats, from across Germany, and the world – carrying less ego than London. A wholesome intellect carries through, it gets lost in the whirl of London survival. I think back to hanging with the man commonly known as Rodent, the Sex Pistols’ sound tech – he was saying everything is lost in our digital times – the lack of ability to hang out together, they had to live frugally, himself in the studio of The Clash. The intensity of art. It’s easier here. To get involved in your creativity – away from the grab.

SUNDAY

Home jukebox, coffee, and Okay Cafe cinnamon swirls at Jason McGlade and Anne-Cathrin Saure’s (the art director/photographer, and designer of Cold Lips II, and co-createurs of the Shedville font). They moved back here recently – but Jason’s back and forth to London, working on an incredible analogue Polaroid project.

Stroke Order and I head out to Berghain – but instead collide with a very old friend who’s been living in Thailand for 14 years – Martyn Goodacre. He took the most iconic picture of Kurt Cobain, and many more. We tried doing music together when we worked on magazines. We go to a bar, meet with a midwife – talk about the horror show of birth, the guidance into the world, policed by the womb and the channel to birth and the rejection from the vulvic eye. The propulsion.

MONDAY MORNING COMING DOWN FROM AN EMAIL THAT IS CHANGING MY LIFE

Space, China – coffee with Mark Reeder. His vinyl of Mauderstadt is out now. I’ve just run a trilogy of stories on him in DJ Mag, explaining his part in Berlin, from being the Factory rep in Berlin in Joy Division days, through to putting on punk gigs in East Berlin, recording the music in gay bars to play to New Order – thus Blue Monday – and since, from inventing trance music with his label MfS – getting Paul van Dyk on the map – he’s the man. His uniforms. Rare light.

“Danielle [De Picciotto] and Katia – Love Parade would never have started without them.”

[Love Parade was the street party that began in the ecstatic reunification of East and West Berlin. The wall came down in 1990. The old GDR was a wild land. Read Danielle De Picciotto’s Beauty of Transgression for more…or watch Mark Reeder’s B-Movie…and his forthcoming E-Movie.]

He realises he’s late for his lunch…

Alone, back on the Neukölln streets, I look into the door of a Moroccan cafe – get called in by a round-faced Muslim woman, grey jumper, jeans – trainers – Tangiers market vibes, enter – beans – good – no English – point at a box – I don’t know if she knows I don’t want a tagine but takeaway – they waterfall me mint tea – the door slams shut. There are stickers on the wall tiles – plastic table cloths. Am I about to be drugged? Locked in – I have few Euros and no phone to be stolen.

I sit, read the Unspoken Berlin I’ve picked up – and wait for either the drugs to kick in, or to relax. Oh, some brot on the table – no it ain’t Gucci Bloom sea hedgehog fennel and jerusalem artichoke, chestnut puree and scallop, purple watercress like the exquisite experience of Lokal where local ingredients will dance on plates for us later – nor is is it as refined as the Techno sauna we’ll meditate in around the bar – but it is E2.50 and beautifully wholesome – the chickpeas are larger than London.

—-

Neurotitan have taken Cold Lips and my last 3 copies of Unedited. Stefi there is lovely. It’s somewhere that’s always called me on previous trips to Berlin. Many putting a film together that became impossible, about Manuel Gottching, of Ash Ra Tempel – and E2:E4 – the most sampled record – inventor of ambient – before Eno, before the HANSA recordings of Iggy and Bowie. I tell Stefi of my gig last night with Whisky and Words at the Keith bar – where Stroke Order – her pals – and Jason McGlade come by – and Mark Reeder. And Rasp Thorne [post coming to Cold Lips soon, or buy the second edition for total spread]- the consumate performer – lighter over here – my lips are still red from the wine. Stephen Crane. Rasp’s performance of Crane. He’s so good.

Everytime I get on a train here the stasi black jacket ticket checkers are on the same carriage. It’s happened to Morgan 3 times in her year here – and 3 times with me in as many days. I am able to fight my usual paranoias from the top of my Maslow pyramid – the email from a publisher – saying he wants to publish my novel – the one I have had two agents hawk around in 11 years – during which time, I have changed, and so has the story. It is the best email I’ve ever had. Here, lying in bed on the Monday morning after meeting with Anton Newcombe and front row for Faris – Faris frow.Two days later, I’m still flying, as I hit EchoBucher, back in Wedding – they’re taking some Cold Lips…I drop into Potsdamer – meeting… No fucking way. Ticket checkers.

Zug Fallt aus!

You have amazing eyes – you look like Madonna said the guy from Milano – I’m hoping he means old skool hot Madz. En route to the airport – delays – nerves shot / triggering towards Parkinsons and spiked dreams. He calmed me – so did the guy who was also travelling to Stansted – as we ran for the plane, and vice versa. Detoxed from the phone, train home, to the temple – travelling with Alice A Bailey. Nanobotic karmic overide. More ticket inspectors – haunted by the stasi – on plane now – could do with some extra O2 from the overhead locker after running in a coat I just bought which I think I may be allergic to. But it’s so warm.

*German born LA-resident, Benedikt Taschen, the art collector and publisher, has directed the content of the new EAST GERMAN HANDBOOK. An encyclopedic collab with Wende Museum, a place of Cold War artefacts in Culver City. It’s a compendium of communist porn – picture-led, masonically-charged graphics of the whole nine yards of life behind the wall – from ideal weaponary to food, fags, appalling vodka, and the requisite communist shit shoes. It’s got 50s utopian vision written all over it.

[joannaarobinson]

Day in the Life | Alyssa Glorioso

Welcome to our “Day in the Life” series! We feature wedding and event planners from around the world with many different levels of experience. If you would like to be featured, download our questionnaire here and email your responses and photos to info@plannerslounge.com. We are excited to feature Virginia wedding planner Alyssa Glorioso today!

Name: Alyssa Glorioso

Business Name & Location: Glorious Weddings & Events, Fredericksburg, VA

Years Working in the Event Industry: 6 years

Years Owning Your Event Planning Business: 2 years

Website: www.gloriousweddings.co

Business Facebook Page: Glorious Weddings & Events

Instagram: @gloriousweddingsevents

What is your typical day like?

Every day is a little different! I find my sweet spot is rising about 6:45am, as I like to ease into the day. Of course, I start with coffee and sometimes I run or practice yoga to kick off the day.

Typically, I plan out my priorities and plan with a walk around the block as I find walking and fresh air generates my thinking. I work from home but am very intentional about only working upstairs and leaving the downstairs for personal life. I typically take a quick lunch and try to eat away from the computer. My husband works from home most of the week so I have an office buddy!

I find my ideas run dry and my slowest productivity is between 1-4pm, so that is a great time for running errands, emails, or exercise if I didn’t get it done in the morning. Or, I slog through and wonder why I’m not getting much done!

I don’t always do this, but I’m trying to conclude the day with a recap of what I accomplished and laying out my top 3 tasks for the next day. That way, when I wake up, I already have a starting point.

In the evening, I try to spend time with my husband and love getting outside when possible. And yes, I enjoy a good TV show.

How did you get started in the industry?

As many do, I did not begin my career in the event industry. I discovered how much I love event planning while working in a university setting. I have also taught 4th and 5th grade and my students will always have a place in my heart.

While there are many differences between education and event planning, each role demands a high degree of intentional planning, considering other’s needs, and guiding the student or client toward their goals and objectives. At one point, I realized my true love was helping couples plan their weddings and more than that, creating authentic moments and memories that they will treasure.

My father in law has been a small business owner for 30 years and ultimately, he was the inspiration and model for me to step out on my own and start my own wedding planning business, Glorious Weddings & Events.

In terms of wedding planner education, before I started, I took a class to become a certified planner by Weddings Beautiful. Christy Wright’s “Business Boutique” lays out a helpful guide to creating a business plan, which I’d highly recommend.

One of the best things I did during my first year of business was to hire a business coach and enroll in SCORE mentoring. There are so many great resources out there for small businesses today. A small regional office called Community Business Partnership offers many workshops which were very helpful. Finally, I regularly participate in Tuesdays Together, and a local group called the Women’s Wedding Network. Humorously, men are also welcome.

What inspires you?

If I need to strategize or plan for my business, taking a walk or heading into nature always helps generate my thoughts and ideas. I’m very much a pen & paper type of person, and have to get away from the computer for clarity.

Nature, especially moving water, mountains, and forests, never fails to inspire me, clear my head, and gives me perspective and insight into where to focus and prioritize. It is not uncommon to see me walking with pen and paper in hand! I also love using the voice memo app to draft blog posts or tricky emails. If you’re a verbal processor, this might be very helpful for you.

Blogs and places that inspire me:

Planner’s Lounge

Joanna Gaines & her line

Magnolia,

Jenna Kutcher’s podcast, “Goal Digger”

Guy Raz’s podcast, “How I Built This”.

Marie Forleo, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Brene Brown on the creative & business life.

A favorite entrepreneurial story is Danny Meyer’s book, “Setting the Table: Transforming the Power of Hospitality in Business”

A trip to an antique or vintage store for ideas.

Sitting down with other entrepreneurs – I think by talking (lol) and am an extrovert. I learn so much from my peers.

What are your favorite online resources for your business?

The Strategy Hour Podcast

She Creates Business – A Podcast for Wedding Pros

The Ambition Studio

Refine for Wedding Planners

Aside from wedding and event planning, how do you spend your time?

I joke that one of my interests is finding new hobbies and interests. I am a long-time runner and currently training for a half marathon. I regularly practice yoga, enjoy cooking (when I have the time), and enjoy perfecting the art of making macarons. In the summer, you’ll find me at the pool.

I have family in Colorado and love the mountains, hiking, and piney air. I was born in San Diego, California and wonder why my parents ever left. I call myself a Virginia native, as I’ve lived here since I was four years old.

And I can’t forget my amazing husband, who is ever patient with my crazy schedule and the messes I create.

I’m currently trying to spend less time on my phone

Alyssa, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story and a day in your life. If you are an event planner and would like to be featured, download our questionnaire today and email it to us along with a photo. If you aren’t sure about being featured, take a few minutes to read how it can help your business.

photo credit: Rob Jinks Photography

from Event Planning Essentials https://plannerslounge.com/day-in-the-life-alyssa-glorioso/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[loudenoughtohear]

My Autism Traits Bolded w/ Some Explanation

I copied this from mlmscout so that I could bold the traits that pertained to me. Here is a link to the original post

School/Learning/Thinking/Executive Functioning:

○ Average to high intelligence, may have high grades

○ May have low grades due to executive dysfunction

Explanation: There are times when my grades are excellent because I am able to maintain a consistent routine and there are times when things like depression, as well as family matters throw me off balance and my executive dysfuction takes over and my grades start to dip. 

○ Difficulty with executive functioning, i.e. remembering chores/assignments, beginning or finishing tasks, trouble multitasking or switching between two tasks, etc.

○ Has symptoms of AD(H)D such as forgetfulness, restlessness, impulsivity, and trouble focusing

○ Has symptoms of OCD such as anxiety, paranoia, delusions, and odd habits or routines that stem from anxiety (compulsions)

○ Has been (correctly or incorrectly) diagnosed with co-morbid disorders such as depression, anxiety, AD(H)D and OCD

I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I was incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school. 

○ A “teacher’s pet” and tells on students for breaking rules, may be a “tattler”

○ Seen as odd, shy, eccentric, and/or annoying by peers and classmates

○ Uses “formal” or “pedantic” language rather than casual/conversational language

○ Exceptional vocabulary since childhood

○ Skills tend to be far above or far below those of peers

○ Considered “gifted” or a “savant” in areas such as math, physics, science, vocabulary, reading comprehension, art, and/or music

For me it is was reading and being hyperlexic. But I never did well on the exams given in school, so they put me in remedial english in elementary school, but I would come home from school and read my mother’s college textbooks. 

○ Superior skills in mathematics or physics

○ Poor understanding of mathematics

○ Has or has symptoms of dyscalculia, a learning disorder characterized by:

   ○ Difficulty with mathematics (including basic concepts such as addition and subtraction)

   ○ Difficulty identifying patterns

   ○ Difficulty telling left from right

   ○ Poor navigational skills and sense of direction

   ○ Difficulty remembering long sequences of numbers such as phone numbers

   ○ Difficulty reading clocks and telling time

   ○ Difficulty with applying math concepts to real-life situations

   ○ Difficulty with measurements

   ○ Difficulty applying previously-learned skills to new concepts in math

   ○ Difficulty finding different approaches to the same problem

   ○ Difficulty reading charts and graphs

   ○ Poor spatial awareness, difficulty estimating distances and have poor depth perception

○ Has or has symptoms of dyslexia, a learning disorder characterized by:

   ○ Difficulty recognized letters

   ○ Difficulty matching letters and words to sounds (i.e. pronunciation errors, not knowing what sound a “B” or an “H” makes)

   ○ Limited vocabulary

   ○ Difficulty with word sequences such as counting or the days of the week

   ○ Confuses the order of letters, makes frequent mistakes in spelling and grammar

   ○ Difficulty remembering facts

   ○ Difficulty understanding the rules of grammar

   ○ Difficulty learning and retaining information, relies on memorization without complete understanding of concept

   ○ Difficulty with word problems in math

   ○ Difficulty following a sequence of directions

   ○ Difficulty understanding jokes, idioms, metaphors, and figures of speech

   ○ Difficulty learning a foreign language

○ Obsessions with particular topics, known as “special interests” in the autistic community

○ Talking about a special interest brings comfort and happiness, conversation is limited to or focused on a special interest

○ Not interested in talking about topics besides a special interest

○ Spends long periods of time researching a special interest and categorizing information on a special interest

○ Has a “comfort item” such as a toy, blanket, or stone, may take item everywhere and refuse to part with it, doing so causes anxiety, sadness, and/or a meltdown

○ Superior long-term memory

○ Weaker short-term memory

○ Prefers to be self-taught and direct learning

○ Intense interest in literature and writing, may have taught self how to read before formal education, may be hyperlexic

○ Prolific writer

○ Deep thinker, curious

○ Drawn to philosophy, may have shown interest and curiosity in subjects such as death and the meaning of life since childhood

○ Prefers visual and kinetic learning, needs to get hands-on to understand topics

○ Highly creative and imaginative, drawn to art and writing

○ Art and writing relieve anxiety

○ Enjoys music, may be interested in songs and lyrics

○ Tasks with several steps can be troublesome

○ Difficulty remembering and following verbal instructions, needs written instructions to complete a task

○ Difficulty locating objects

○ The thought of having to leave the house for an event causes anxiety, may avoid leaving the house, talking to people, or confronting people

○ Upcoming events cause a feeling of dread of anxiety

○ Easily irritated and/or frustrated, avoids and/or gives up on tasks that are not easily overcome or mastered

○ Difficulty lying, may appear to be naïve, gullible, trusting, or a “pushover”

○ Tendency to be logical and see things at “face value” and take figures of speech, jokes, sarcasm, metaphors, etc. literally

○ Odd combination of strengths and weaknesses in regards to memory, executive functioning, motor skills, academics, intelligence, and interests

Motor Skills/Physical/Sensory/Routine:

○ Poor motor skills, may be clumsy or cumbersome, difficulty holding a pencil, kicking a ball, writing/drawing by hand, etc.

○ Auditory processing difficulties, may take a moment to process and interpret words, speech, and noises, may have auditory processing disorder (APD)

○ Odd gait or posture, may walk on toes or drag/shuffle feet, may sit in a crouching or perching position

○ Learning to ride a bike or drive a car can be difficult due to a lack of necessary skills

○ Becomes non- or semi-verbal when stressed, overwhelmed, or tired (i.e. being unable to speak, speaking takes a lot of effort and is tiring/exhausting, words feel “stuck”)

○ Experiences meltdowns/shutdowns when stressed, overwhelmed, or tired, may cry, scream, become snappy/irritated/impatient, or become withdrawn (may appear to be a “temper tantrum”)

○ Thumb-sucking lasts past childhood into adolescence

○ Bed-wetting lasts past childhood into adolescence

○ Experiences insomnia

○ Not a “morning person”

○ Has a co-morbid chronic illness, such as IBS, gluten intolerance, allergies, asthma, fibromyalgia, seizures, epilepsy, etc.

○ Resistance to and/or inability to cope with change, which causes anxiety

○ Adheres to a daily routine, straying from routine causes anxiety

○ Likes to sit in the same seat in the car or at meals, wear the same outfit, or eat the same food

○ Sensory issues, sensitive to textures, touch, sound, taste, smells, light, etc.

○ Avoids loud or harsh noises, bright light, certain tastes/textures/smells

○ Experiences “sensory overload,” may experience a meltdown or shutdown if sensory input is too much to handle

○ Dislikes physical contact with people, resists hugs/kissing

○ Engages in self-stimulating behavior to soothe, cope with sensory input, and/or express emotion, known as “stimming” by autistic community

○ Visual stimming includes watching moving objects such as water, leaves, or cars, and waving or fluttering fingers in front of eyes

○ Physical stimming includes spinning, jumping, waving arms, flapping hands, swinging, waving or fluttering fingers, flicking or rubbing fingernails, rubbing hands against a surface or texture, bouncing legs, rocking, chewing or sucking on objects, fidgeting with toys, and petting/stroking/twirling hair

○ Vocal stimming includes shrieking, laughing, singing, humming, repeating sounds or words (echolalia), and clicking tongue

○ Auditory stimming includes listening to music, blocking out noise, and listening to sounds

○ Prefers comfortable clothes over stylish clothes, may have a favorite shirt or outfit, may cut tags off of clothes due to sensory issues

○ Has or has symptoms of sensory processing disorder (SPD)

○ Has a “sixth sense,” notices the presence of people, may dislike standing close to people or standing in front of people

○ Has an odd tone of voice, may speak with an odd inflection, in a monotone voice, with an accent, or too loudly/softly for a situation

Social/Behavioral

○ Difficulty understanding “social rules,” may be unaware of boundaries and personal space

○ Difficulty understanding the “social hierarchy” and roles within a family or classroom, may act as a teacher to their peers

○ Shy and quiet in social situations, may be an introvert

○ Loud and aggressive in social situations, may cross boundaries

○ Clings to one or two friends, prefers to have a small friend group

○ No interest in socializing or making friends

○ Prefers to interact with people who are younger or older, little interest in peers of the same age

○ Has trouble keeping up a conversation, whether face-to-face or online, may abandon conversations due to anxiety or boredom

○ As a child, preferred to talk to teachers than peers, may view peers as “boring” or “stupid”

○ Dislikes and avoids eye contact, eyes may wander during conversation

○ Appears rude due to lack of understanding of “social rules,” not making eye contact or using “appropriate” body language, or dominating discussion/reverting discussion back to self

○ Dislikes “small talk,” prefers to have “intelligent” discussion, talk about self, or talk about a special interest

○ Difficulty understanding social cues such as body language, gestures, tone of voice, and facial expressions, may not be able to read emotion

○ Taught self how to act “properly” in social situations and/or read emotion, may mimic people in real life or on television

○ Conversation and socializing is anxiety-inducing and exhausting, may need a lot of rest and “de-stressing” after socializing

○ Tendency to be bullied, shunned, mocked, teased, or ostracized by peers

○ Tendency to over-share

○ Difficulty understanding what is and isn’t considered “socially acceptable,” may be blunt and considered “offensive” or “rude”

○ Difficulty knowing when to speak, may interrupt

○ Considered annoying by peers, “unable to take a hint”

○ Sense of humor is “quirky” or “odd,” may not understand typical humor used by peers

○ Excess apologizing

○ Difficulty knowing when a mistake has been made, may not apologize

Imagination/Empathy:

○ Escapes through imagination, may have maladaptive daydreaming disorder (MDD)

○ Intense, overwhelming emotions

○ Hyper- or hypoempathetic

○ Highly imaginative and creative

○ May have had imaginary friends as a child

○ Easily distracted, gets “lost in thoughts”

○ Fantasy brings comfort and relief

○ May not be interested in fantasy

○ Prefers to play with toys in an “unusual” manner, may spend time setting up scenes with toys without acting out a scene, may line up or organize toys, etc.

○ Prefers fantasy over reality

[rationalsanskar]

Schools practice mindfulness

“It helps me relax.”

Kicking off his shoes and finding a comfortable position on a blanket laid out on the floor of Donna Haller’s second-floor classroom, eighth-grader Foster Shirkey was succinct and to the point recently in explaining why he shows up every Monday after school for a weekly 30-minute meditative practice led by Haller.

Shirkey is a regular presence in a new initiative on the shared campus of Yellow Springs High and McKinney Middle schools introducing mindfulness practices to students.

But there’s more to the initiative than providing a relaxing respite for participants. It’s also serving for some students as an alternative option to detention.

The district is responding to a growing body of research that suggests behaviors that traditionally put students in detention— persistent tardiness, classroom disruptions, verbal altercations — are more effectively addressed with experiences that allow students to get in touch with their senses and calm their emotions.

Sitting at a desk for an hour after school doesn’t really promote the kind of personal reflection that leads to changed behavior, noted Principal Jack Hatert before the mindfulness programming launched in the fall.

Changing behavior, rather than strict punishment, is the preferred disciplinary approach for both Hatert and Vice-Principal Cameron McCoy, who has responsibility for much of the schools’ student discipline, the two administrators have said.

In addition to guided meditation on Mondays, the programming includes a yoga club, which meets for an hour immediately after school each Wednesday in the schools’ shared library.

Three months into the program isn’t enough time to assess long-term behavioral changes, but Hatert, when asked last month, spoke even more excitedly about the program than before it began.

“It’s been great,” he said enthusiastically in a conversation following a school board meeting.

He noted that one student who reluctantly chose yoga over detention came back the next week because he liked it so much.

“Everybody should do this,” Hatert said the boy asserted.

Ninth-grader Isabella Beiring is an ardent believer in its positive effects as well, regularly participating with both the Monday and Wednesday groups.

“I like learning about yoga and mindfulness in general,” Beiring said before a recent Monday session of guided meditation. “I like doing the poses.”

“It can help with stress and anxiety,” she said.

Research shows benefits

In establishing the after-school mindfulness activities, and approaching them as a way to address student behavior, Yellow Springs has joined a growing number of schools across the country that are adding yoga and meditative practices to the school day.

A 2015 survey conducted by the National Institute of Health found yoga being offered in more than 940 schools across the country, with more than 5,400 instructors trained to offer yoga in educational settings at that time. An article last year in the Philly Voice noted that federal data shows the number of U.S. children aged 4 to 17 practicing yoga rose from 2.3% to 8.4% —1.3 million to 4.9 million — between 2007 and 2017, with no indication of slowing.

The trend follows over a decade of research published in such peer-reviewed publications as the Journal of Child and Family Studies, which in 2009 published a study that linked mindfulness training — teaching children how to manage their thoughts and emotions — to reduced anxiety levels and increased attention spans.

Studies also have concluded that such mindful activities as yoga can help students respond to stress, process past trauma, enhance positive social engagement and possibly improve academic performance.

At the same time, however, not every community where yoga has been introduced has been receptive. Some schools have experienced public push back, particularly in more socially conservative and rural areas, the Atlantic Magazine reported last year. Of particular concern in some school districts is the belief that yoga and meditation practices promote non-Christian beliefs.

Conversely, in places where yoga is offered in the context of gym or athletics, some spiritual practitioners have found fault with its presentation as mere physical exercise.

Social-emotional learning

The newly introduced mindfulness practices fit into the district’s incorporation of social-emotional learning as part of the overall curriculum, according to Hatert.

The district for several years has been actively complementing academic classroom lessons with activities that address the needs of the “whole child,” including social and emotional growth.

The Day of Empowerment, started three years ago at the high school, and the Day of Discovery, introduced last year at Mills Lawn, where students explore identity and relationship building, are examples of some of the district’s efforts.

While Yellow Springs had already embraced the educational philosophy that focuses on all aspects of healthy child growth and development, the state of Ohio this year introduced standards directly related to social-emotional learning as part of the Ohio Department of Education’s, or ODE’s, five-year strategic plan, titled “Each Child, Our Future.”

In developing the plan, the ODE identified four “equal learning domains,” with one of the four being social-emotional learning.

According to the ODE, social-emotional learning includes “processes through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships and make responsible decisions.”

Such learning is now ranked equally with the other three “educational domains,” identified as: foundational knowledge and skills, which include literacy, numeracy and technology; well-rounded content, which includes social studies, sciences, languages, arts, health and physical education; and leadership and reasoning, which includes problem solving, design thinking, creativity and information analytics.

In terms of social-emotional learning, the state has defined five “competencies” as the basis for its learning standards:

•self-awareness

•self-management

•social awareness

•relationship skill

• responsible decision-making.

Yellow Spring educators believe that mindfulness practices such as guided meditation and yoga foster the whole-child development addressed in the new standards.

“It gives students more tools,” Principal Hatert said this fall.

The YS mindfulness experience

For freshman Isabella Beiring, the Monday mindfulness practice and Wednesday yoga sessions address self-awareness and management of strong emotions.

“Someone I know said that mindfulness and yoga have helped them with their ADHD and with processing an event where they had lost someone who was dear to them,” she wrote for a video project about the schools’ program.

Instructor Haller, an intervention specialist at the high school for the past nine years and a certified yoga and meditation instructor for adults and youth, believes that the practices can have profound effects on students. She leads both afternoon gatherings at the school, as well as community classes at Antioch’s Wellness Center and the House of Aum.

She said she began leading students in short mindfulness and yoga activities in her classroom about three years ago, and saw a positive effect, not only in students’ being able to manage stress and anxiety, but also in their attention and focus.

She went to Principal Hatert about offering longer sessions after school and wrote a $2,800 grant to the Yellow Springs Educational Endowment, or YSEE, for 20 sets of yoga mats, blankets, bolsters and blocks to complement the 10 sets she already had.

“I love it,” she said after leading a yoga nidra guided meditation last month. “It does as much for me as them,” she said of the calming, centering effects.

She said the participant turnout is different each week. Some sessions there are just two, others see a dozen.

For Wednesday yoga, the participants make space in the middle of the library floor for their mats. Haller sits in front of the group, quietly leading the students through a series of poses.

On Mondays, she welcomes students toher cozy classroom, which she transforms for optimal comfort. The lighting is low, blankets cover the floor and an aroma of lavender fills the air.

Students find a spot to lie, many covering up with a blanket and closing their eyes as Haller speaks softly and calmly, focusing on deep breaths, relaxation and the space between the breaths.

She points to moments of tension release and tells the students that they can remember that feeling and go back to it during times of anxiety and stress during the school day.

The students are nearly asleep when Haller concludes the session about 30 minutes later.

Beiring said it has become an important part of her week.

“It puts your mind at ease for awhile,” she said.

The post Schools practice mindfulness appeared first on The Yellow Springs News.

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[terryblount]

Need For Speed Heat PC Review

I was one of the idiots that actually bought Need for Speed 2015. It was during the first post-release sale, and many reviews seemed happy with it. Meanwhile, I had no idea that I was willingly forking over my hard-earned cash for a total, irrecoverable train wreck congealed into a game. Turns out it was not just the worst racing game I ever played: it was perhaps one of the worst games I owned.

My disgust might’ve been skewed by sentiment since I have been playing this series before I was even a teenager. Still, it was impossible to look past the spectacular mess that Electronic Arts had made with their once great franchise. NFS 2015 was so bug-ridden, so hopelessly off the mark from what it was supposed to be, that I outright refused to play Payback. A wise choice as it turns out.

Now comes Need For Speed Heat as a last chance for Ghost Games to prove they can breathe new life into a series that has been driving on fumes for far too long. Like other franchises trying to make a comeback, Heat is likewise a return to form and makes an earnest attempt to appeal to the golden age of Underground/Most Wanted. Has it been successful? Kind of… maybe. Let me explain.

A Race To Save The Franchise

The Need For Speed franchise is in a really weird place at the moment. Since the first entry in 1994 this series has repeatedly set the bar for how an arcade racing game should play, look and feel. In every game EA somehow struck a perfect balance between making games that look gorgeous enough to feel realistic, yet the driving physics never failed to offer players that addictive rush of raw speed.

The problem is that developers such as Criterion, Codemasters and Turn 10 had been paying close attention to the constituents of this golden formula. It wasn’t long before they not only perfected some of NFS’s original mechanics, but actually made it their own within their respective games.

Great to see old favorites

Furthermore, it didn’t exactly help that every new release in the NFS series seemed to be more lackluster and out of touch than the last since Ghost Games took on the mantle in 2013. Where NFS once held the throne, this well-beloved arcade veteran inevitably found itself being outrun by its competition and with too many disappointments in the portfolio to bank on fans’ nostalgia.

Thankfully, this must have been the wakeup call that both EA and the developers needed for a last chance at a NFS renaissance. If all else, the removal of everything that stood against the identity of this series, and the return of an emphasis on underground tuner culture, shows that Need For Speed Heat is, above all, a game that really wants to please and appease fans.

Feeling the Heat

With Need For Speed Heat Ghost Games have wisely decided to go back to the drawing board and focus on the most important aspect of any racing game. Not the cars, not the driving physics, and definitely not the story. Instead, they started, rather than ended, with the one thing that ties all these building blocks together: The game’s setting.

If the game was in New York, I’d bet they would have called it Skyscraper City. Great place to race in though.

Heat takes place in a tropical city located somewhere on America’s southeast seaboard, which they named Palm City. Hilarious nomenclature aside, a city close to the tropics is a great locale for hosting a racing game. Just like Paul Walker (R.I.P.) and Vin Diesel, the player can once again cannonball down the sun-scorched streets lined with palm trees in their custom tuner specials or thundering muscle cars.

Given the location it is to be expected that the game is equally capable of replacing bright, blue skies with torrential downpours which can actually give the world a totally unique feeling to more fair-weather races. Whereas NFS 2015 was so rain-soaked it was almost depressing, Heat has a pleasantly dynamic weather and time-of-day cycle that actually feels natural.

What chu gonna do, what chu gonna do when they come for you…

The day-night cycle of this tropical racing paradise has a function too. If you’re into Dexter, Bad Boys, or just turned on any television in the 80’s, you must be aware of how the cops in Miami are the ultimate badasses of the American police force. You therefore have an idea what the player is thrown into with races taking place right in the middle of their jurisdiction.

It is here that the player meets lieutenant Mercer and his band of intercepters who have taken it upon themselves to stop anything with rims and a spoiler dead in its tracks. Fortunately, they are willing to turn a blind eye towards racing in the day because these events are legit races and drifting competitions with safety barriers and closed streets in which the player can compete to earn some decent cash.

At night, however, the streets turn into a nocturnal racing haven where players have the opportunity to earn more rep than money which, you guessed it, unlocks all sorts of goodies, cars and upgrades for you to spend said cash on. Except now, the Five-0 will be utterly relentless in hunting your speeding arse down, and the player has to employ some swift driving to shake the black cruisers with flashing lights.

I used to press Alt+F4 when this happened in older games. Was seriously tempted to try it here.

The police chases play a much bigger role in Heat as opposed to the last couple of games. Your car has a set amount of damage that it can endure before being rendered immobile, at which point the player is treated to a big, red BUSTED cut scene. What makes this prospect particularly harrowing is the fact that all that rep you earned over the last hour disappears like a fart in a hurricane upon being caught.

I played the original Most Wanted at least four times, but I have misgivings about the police AI in this game because they are just a tad overpowered. Heat never really clarifies how you are supposed to shake them and my little starter Nissan rarely stood a chance during the early stages of the game.

Their ungodly acceleration and cars seemingly made from Vibranium meant that the cops never quite rose above being an annoyance. The prospect of loosing your rep does add to the tension of chases, but the lack of the ability to fight back properly meant that I was happiest to avoid police encounters altogether. Sorry folks, Hot Pursuit 2 and Most Wanted still holds the crown.

My way or the highway

My grievances with the law aside, I liked how nothing felt out of place, and every aspect of the gameplay feels like it was born from within the game’s world and setting. I could even endure the agonizingly generic plot which involves the player and a new gang of misfits sticking it to the man by starting up their own crew. For what the plot lacks in originality, it at least fits the game’s overall theme.

Pick your character, and start your crew. I am just so glad there are no fist bumps.

As for the actual racing itself, well, Heat is a mixed bag at times due to how Mr Frostbite handles driving physics. Despite Ghost Games doing what they can, this engine just doesn’t feel like it was supposed to be used in racing games. It still feels like a first-person shooter engine that has been jerry-rigged to play like a racing game.

This can get hilarious during character customization!

As such, the cars do occasionally feel a bit strange in term of how they stick to the road. Everything from my Beemer to the turbo charged Corvette had this peculiar, floaty sense of handling in terms how they move over the tarmac. It reminded me of driving a vehicle in an online, multiplayer game close to something from the Battlefield franchise.

Getting those Underground 2 vibes here

Still, the circuit races, the sprints, the tight time trials, and even the drifting make for decent auto sport and I mostly enjoyed crushing the competition. The developers have designed Heat with wide, open tracks that have no intention of breaking the player’s speed, yet the controls are responsive enough to maneuver around those unexpected sharp turns. It works, and it feels good.

The middle of the road

Heat is not exactly a huge graphical upgrade from, say, NFS 2015, or even Payback, and I felt that old Mr Frostbite should have been pushing slightly higher frame rates for what was on my screen. Yet, this is still a good looking car game no matter which way you slice it. The whole world is delightfully reactive to rain, and superb lighting adds up to some beautiful shadows and reflections, particularly at night.

On that note, I was looking forward to the awesome vehicle customisation suite making a return, and it was great to get back into it. It still lacks the freedom and scope of older entries, but it is basically impossible not to put together a bitchin’ ride. The ability to download vehicle wraps from the other players in the community is another big win here, and once again I was blown away by the creativity of some players.

Yeah I totally made thi- OUCH! – okay I downloaded this

Unfortunately, the music selection is still one area that Ghost Games needs to work on. While a few catchy reggaeton and hip-hop tracks keeps things going during the chilled moments of gameplay, the racing lacks that ‘head-banging’ factor that kicks the player’s adrenaline up one notch. Heat would have been the perfect game to benefit from a healthy injection of music with a bit more potency.

The return of Need For Speed?

Given that Need For Speed Heat finds itself at the end of a fifteen-year-old legacy, it is really difficult to review this game in isolation. From a purely objective perspective, this was most of what I could want from flashy, fast-paced, arcade racer in market that was suspiciously anemic this year. This game has been built around tried and trusted themes in its genre, and it reaps the benefits.

You can choose every time you leave the garage

On the other, Heat plays it a little too safe at times in its effort to appease fans, and probably EA’s stockholders. While I understand that Ghost Games could all but afford another flop, their palpable fear of pushing boundaries makes the gameplay feel formulaic. While this is a good racing game, it feels like many others I have played, and Heat might have a hard time standing out in public memory.

At the end of the day, Heat is definitely a sign that Need For Speed is back on track, even if the game lacks its own identity. If anything, its very existence feels like a small victory. Despite throwing all the weight of their corporate greed behind their golden boy franchise, this game serves as a harsh reminder to EA that gamers are always willing to spend on what they like.

No cringeworthy cutscenes

Nice control scheme

Great setting

Shared community content

Car selection

Not always online

Police still suck

A bit formulaic

PC Optimisation

Difficulty spikes

          PC Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using an XBox One controller

The post Need For Speed Heat PC Review appeared first on DSOGaming.

Need For Speed Heat PC Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[wtfallonauthor-blog]

I recently watched season one of Amazon Prime series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which I found hilarious and thoroughly entertaining. I don’t watch a lot of comedies—I find the writing is better on serious shows that also happen to be funny. However, I found The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel to be the perfect blend of plot and humor. SPOILER WARNING: This review contains spoilers for season one.

As a creative person, I noticed the show, while entertaining, also offered many truths to be learned about pursuing a career in the arts. Now, the show is set in 1958, and there are obviously hundreds of things that are different about pursuing a career in show business, or other creative pursuits, today. Social media. The internet. Society. Stupid people going viral and stealing my spotlight. And not just people. I mean, a rat dragging a piece of pizza down the street can go viral but I can’t get 100 claps on Medium? Anyway….

This show revealed so many epiphanies about pursuing a creative career that are still true today. Here are 4 funny (okay, some are not so funny) epiphanies I learned about the creative life from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: 

Lesson 1: If at first you succeed, fail, fail again. The main character, Midge, embarks on a career in comedy after her husband, a would-be comedian himself, leaves her for his secretary. She—Midge, not the secretary—gets drunk and goesto the  humble nightclub where he performed earlier to collect a pyrex dish she used to bribe the club’s manager for a good time slot. While there, she wanders up on stage and drunkenly explains her very bad evening to the audience, who finds her hilarious. Later, the nightclub’s scheduler, Suzie—one of my favorite supporting characters ever—offers to manage Midge’s comedy career. Midge has a few more good shows, then some not-so-good shows, after which she decides to quit. She later realizes she wants to keep performing.

As a writer, I want to quit pretty much all the time. I’d probably be a lot happier if I did. It occurred to me a few months ago that if I’d known just how much work there is in writing—not just the writing, but the editing, the rewriting—I probably would not have started. I’d have a lot less stress and a lot more time to sit on my ass and watch Amazon Prime, that’s for sure. Hell, I might even have time to vacuum my room twice a year instead of once. But I probably wouldn’t, because I don’t care. Anyway….

But I don’t quit. I keep failing. I try to learn something from my failures. On the show, Midge goes to comedy clubs, watches the most successful comedians, takes diligent notes. Then she tries to apply what she learns to her own writing. She figures out what works for her, what doesn’t, how long to ride the laughs, how to plan her show instead of just rambling and hoping something funny comes out.

This can be applied to other creative pursuits. I read a lot, and have always read a lot, but now I really try to notice how my favorite authors do things. How do they explain back story so seamlessly you don’t even notice, instead of just making a big infodump on page one? How do they explain a fictional world without spending three pages on the scenery? How do they disseminate a large amount of info in snappy dialogue?

When I think I figure it out, I try to do these things myself. It doesn’t always work. I’m still learning, and more importantly, still failing.

Lesson 2: The more privilege you have, the better.

This one sucks, because privilege isn’t usually something you can gain through hard work, and you can’t buy it on Amazon, either. It would be nice if pursuing a creative career was equally easy—or hard—for everyone. But that’s not how the world works. It wasn’t in 1958, and it isn’t today.

In trying to improve her act, Midge finds an ad in an entertainment magazine and hires a guy to help her. She tells him a few things about her act, and he tells her he can write five minutes of material for $15. Now, that’s a pretty cheap rate today, but back in 1958 it would have been pretty expensive.

Can everyone afford to hire a script writer, or an editor, or a cover designer, or whoever they need to help hone their craft? Can we all afford to take acting classes or singing lessons or improv classes? No. Midge lives with her decently well-off parents after her husband leaves and her father-in-law kicks her out. She seems to have some cash left over from the marriage as well, and could probably sell some of their nicer items if need be. She gets a job at the department store so she can buy a television for her room. If she wants to spend fifteen dollars on a script writer (who turns out to be a scammer), she can do so without thinking too hard about it. She can also call her husband and get $200 for bail after being arrested for swearing and flashing her boobs during a show. That shows a tremendous amount of privilege not everyone has. (Money, of course, is only one of many kinds of privilege.)

The one benefit to not having money privilege is that it somewhat protects you from lesson #3….

Lesson 3: Scammers are everywhere.

The best thing to do is ignore them, or be unable to afford them in the first place.

There is no area of show business in which you’ll fail to find grifters promising fame and fortune for a price. Midge meets one when she hires the script writer, who gives everyone the same tired jokes for “$15 for five minutes.” Hollywood is full of acting coaches, voice lessons, etc. who aren’t worth the money. There are, of course, people who are worth the money. Good luck figuring out the difference!

Unless, of course, you have no money to spend on classes in the first place. That’s a surefire way to avoid getting ripped off. It’s also a surefire way to spend all your time working five jobs, leaving you with little time to write, go to auditions, paint, or whatever.

In the publishing world, there used to be a thing called vanity presses, where you paid them to print your book. Today, thanks to the magic of Amazon—aside from Prime, I mean—you no longer need a vanity press to self-publish. Anyone can publish anything on Amazon. Now, some people take the time to learn Photoshop and make their own covers. Some edit and format their own books. These things are time-consuming and not every writer is a cover designer. Not to mention, it’s a really good idea to have at least one other person besides yourself edit your book because it’s hard to do all your own editing.

So there is a genuine need for these services. However, many vanity presses have morphed into “self-publishing services” firms that charge an exorbitant amount of money to edit, design covers, and promote self-published books. Some packages run into the thousands. Again, the way to avoid this nightmare is to either A) do a whole lot of research or B) Just be too broke to pay for any of it anyway.

If you are in the market, read reviews, inspect the company’s website thoroughly, check its ranking, do a search to see what people are saying about it on social media, etc. Also quiz friends who have purchased such services about what they paid to make sure your price is reasonable. In general, avoid spending money if at all possible.

Lesson 4: Trolls Are Everywhere

Every performer gets heckled, but Midge gets a lot of heckling from guys who think women can’t be funny. And say so. It would be nice if we could write this off as a backwards view common in the 1950’s. Sadly, it’s also a backwards view some people still have today in the 21st century. In 2007, there was even a Vanity Fair article in which Christopher Hitchens attempted to mansplain why women aren’t funny. (Apparently, we never evolved this skill because we already appeal to men, and obvs., that’s the only reason for anyone to be funny!)

Midge learns to handle hecklers with aplomb. When an audience member calls her a bitch, she puts her hands on her hips and says, “Who told you?” The audience laughs, and the heckling loser is forgotten. She’s funny, he’s not. It’s a great scene.

Of course today, it’s not just hecklers at shows. There’s the morass of social media, and the evolution of hecklers into what we call “trolls.” (Also known as “hecklers who hide behind computer screens.”) Trolls are happy to attack women, minorities, people who disagree with them politically, and pretty much anyone they don’t like because, I don’t know, it’s Tuesday. As long as you have a big following, of course—for some reason, trolls rarely seem to take offense at people who have, like, 3 followers. Could it be they’re desperate for attention? Or just jealous of anyone who’s even slightly more successful? Anyway…

If you’re going to have a creative career, you’re going to need social media, and if you manage to get a decent following, you’re going to have to deal with the trolls.

I follow a lot of my favorite writers on Twitter, including one who was accused of “ruining science fiction.” Which is pretty bizarre. I mean, it’s one thing not to like an author’s books. I’ve read or tried to read lots of books that just weren’t for me. But the idea that any one author can ruin an entire genre by writing a book you don’t like is pretty fucking ridiculous. (Of course, this particular troll was also upset because the author supports things like diversity in the genre.)

So a few days ago, the writer posted a screenshot about his ruination of an entire fiction genre, with an addendum about how he’s made a lot of money in royalties lately, and “ruining science fiction” is apparently really profitable. It is now my goal in life to ruin science fiction…okay, make it ruinier…and also ruin satire. NOW I know why I’m broke—I haven’t worked hard enough at ruining things!

Of course, if you don’t have the time or desire to personally respond to every troll, there’s another option: Just block and ignore the haters. This advice is easier to give than take. I know I shouldn’t engage with trolls, but, well, sometimes I can’t resist. If you can’t either, at least try to find a clever way to do it, instead of sinking to their level.

One last thing…

So, those are the 4 funny epiphanies I learned from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Before I conclude my review of season one (love it, you should watch it if you haven’t already), I’m going to leave you with some epiphanies I had watching the first two episodes of season 2:

My new favorite quote from any TV show ever: “My goal is money. I don’t have any and I want some.” Suzie, who speaks for me and my goals as well.

Also, I wish my parents would go to Paris, rekindle whatever romantic feelings they must have once had for each other (which I REALLY don’t want to think about), and leave me alone in their house. I’d be so much happier.

Forcing students to take four semesters of a foreign language is just a way greedy colleges make money, because after four semesters of French I still need subtitles when characters speak French. I want a refund from my university.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to finish watching season 2 and see what other great epiphanies I can find. Hey, the idea for my next novel would be great….

V. R. Craft is the author of Stupid Humans, a thought-provoking science fiction book series that asks the question, “What if all the intelligent humans abandoned Earth—and we’re what’s left?” Her first political satire book, Fail to the Chief, will be released soon.

  The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s 4 Funny Epiphanies for Every Creative I recently watched season one of Amazon Prime series The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which I found hilarious and thoroughly entertaining.

[blkwidowsweb]

Chicago Spotlight: Chicago Born with Ron Carroll

Ron Carroll is a Chicago DJ, Singer, Songwriter, Label Owner, remixer and producer who has played all around the world.   He is House Music’s “Renaissance Man”.  He’s worked with some of the industry’s best producers and Djs.  Known for his signature singing style like a preacher earned him the nickname “Minister of Sound”.   He has written and performed on some of the biggest hits in House Music and although his music is global, he never forgets his Chicago Roots.    I recently had a chance to speak with Ron Carroll about his career, the state of the Chicago Music Scene and his most recent project, Chicago Born. 

Black Widow:   You’re a DJ, Singer/songwriter, and producer, how did all of that begin? What came first?

Ron Carroll:   Within the house world, DJing came first but in my life, singing came first. You know growing up in church.  I wasn’t into house music or disco at the time. I was into Rock and metal; AC/DC, Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath.   Once my father, who was religious, found this out he banned it from the house.   I remember going to a party at my school and there was a guy DJing.   In my opinion, the DJ didn’t look so good. He wasn’t a handsome dude, he was kinda bummy but he was the DJ and I noticed people were hanging around him, kicking it with him. I was like, man….he’s not a dope looking dude but people want to be around him. I was an introverted and shy kid.  Honestly, I started DJing for acceptance. Growing up I didn’t have many friends or anything like that. I started wanting to DJ to make friends and be liked.   I studied that DJ all night and decided then that this was what I wanted to do.  Once started learning it and doing it, my brother and I were DJing together. We had a little crew.  I noticed people started being cool with me and we were doing parties at our school.   From there I started to love it. Once I startedlooking and searching for music and educating myself on the craft, the love grew.  From there I wanted to learn more so I started working at Trax Records, starting going to the studios at DJ international, I became obsessed with it. That’s how it all really started.

Black Widow:   I’m fairly new to the songwriting genre.  I’m used to writing poetry and there are differences between writing song lyrics and poems.   As a singer/Songwriter, what is your favorite part of the songwriting process?

Ron Carroll: It’s all about the story.   I look at poetry and songwriting in a similar light. I say that because poetry is a free-form and songwriting is a melody locked into a situation.  As writers, we all rhyme and tell a story, but as songwriters, you create a melody and lock it into the groove.   That’s what I do.  I write the story out first. I don’t even listen to the track initially.   I write it first then listen to the track. Then I attach the melody to it. 

Black Widow:  Do you find sometimes, the melody and the groove don’t mesh and you have to go back to the drawing board?

Ron Carroll:   Of course, especially when you are working with people, everyone has their own ideas of what they want to be expressed or experienced. It’s not always a final thing.  A lot of times, I’ve been sent back to the drawing board 10-12 times.  I’ve just learned that it’s part of the industry…the business.   It’s totally different if you are working alone.  You can express yourself freely. You know…it’s my groove, my track, my song. You can do what you want. 

Black Widow:  Where you do get your inspiration?

Ron Carroll: I draw inspiration from real life. I can overhear a couple arguing about something and find the subject matter there. I can see something posted online and draw inspiration from that.  A lot of it is personal too, things I’ve gone through and experienced.

Black Widow:  I completely agree.  I have found that when I’m dealing with writer's block, I tend to take a break and get out and “live” more, enjoy new experiences.  It keeps me fresh creatively.

Ron Carroll: Of Course…absolutely.  You have to take breaks and live to find that inspiration.

Black Widow:  As a producer, with technology and all of the new advances, the music making process is different now.   How has the music making process changed? Is it better or worse?

Ron Carroll:  I’ll say this; the way music is made today creates sort of a laziness in creativity. The mind is not being worked or challenged.  Nowadays, people just take loops and from the loops they take, they steal a keyboard line from another song….you know that’s why I respect the way Terry (Hunter) creates.  You know he still wants to put in that work, in the bigger studio, adding horns, and different sounds. He still has that authentic way of creating…Same with Louie Vega.  That’s why only certain people’s stuff stands out because they are really in the complete creative process.

Black Widow:  Taking it to the next level with the instrumentation and utilizing these different sounds instead of relying solely on technology. It’s definitely an art form.

Ron Carroll: Absolutely! 

Black Widow:  As a DJ, how do you see the balance between giving the crowd what they want and introducing them to something new? Is it a challenge for you to break new music? Especially here in Chicago where we are all opinionated! (Laughter)

Ron Carroll: I learned a long time ago that people really feed off of energy.  I’ve always been told I have to sell whatever I’m trying to sell.   I HAVE TO SELL IT and when I look and listen to new music or new vibes, people may not dance initially because you know people like a good old familiar record or a sing-along. I get that, but if they are looking at me and I’m working it and I’m vibing off of it, regardless of the initial response, they may walk away and say, “you know there was a track he played around here, but I think I like it” and the next time they hear it they may rock with it.     It’s like commercials.  You see “drink Coca Cola, drink Coca Cola" every day, eventually someone is going to try Coca Cola and like it.  That’s how I approach it.  I think what’s killed a lot of new music from being introduced is the lack of “one regular Dj type parties.  The scene here is different now.   Now it’s a lot of guests DJs and 30-minute slots and such with multiple people and that’s not a lot of time to sell anything.   Some of the creativity gets lost because of how the scene is today. 

Black Widow:  So you feel it doesn’t really allow a patron to go on a true musical journey with the DJ anymore?

Black Widow:  Yeah.  Think about it.  You go to a club to hear “so and so DJ” because you love them and you have a ball but next week, you go to the same club and now  it’s someone else and they aren’t doing the same thing.  You were attracted to something and now that connection is cut off.   You know you used to have those clubs like the powerhouse, music box and warehouse to get those intimate experiences with the DJs that were staples here.  Then you also had those huge parties for the masses where you would have multiple DJs on the bill and you would get to hear everybody and those DJs meshed well together.    For example, Mike Dunn and Tony T are examples of a true house party.  Each week, people pack Reynolds to hear them play. The people who come to Reynolds know Mike and Tony and love what they are giving them so they come week after week, then that same crowd will roll to the north side when they are playing.   Now the fan base doesn't mind going to check them out at different venues because they’ve set a tone and provided a weekly experience for the audience. Terry Hunter had the same thing with BANG. 

Black Widow:  Is that why you tend to play alone?   I noticed your sets this week were pretty much just you. Is that how you prefer to play and why? 

Ron Carroll: Yes and that’s what I tend to request.  I feel like this, I want people to come and say, “Ron fucked up” or “Ron did his thing”   and I loved it. I don’t want anyone else energy to throw mine off.  I want to set the tone and if the tone is wack then it’s all on me. If I set a good tone, then it’s on me.  It keeps me on my toes and makes me stay on top of my game.   That’s just what I prefer and as a result, I don’t do a lot of parties. 

Black Widow:  Ok…so let’s talk about your latest project, Chicago Born.   You have 8 completely refurbished tracks of some iconic house classics.  Why did you name it Chicago Born and what made you want to take a look at these tracks again?

Ron Carroll:  I believe there are younger generations and many others outside of Chicago who don’t understand the Chicago movement.  They never experienced some of these songs like I did growing up.    I wanted share that and introduce it to those who may not have had the same experience I did.   Nowadays, things are mastered and programed better, so I took them and gave them a heavier sound that makes them current so you can play them alongside new tracks.  We have various volumes coming out too.  Volumes 1-10.  We are just going to keep pushing them out and giving people that old vibe.  It was all about recapturing my youth and sharing it with those who don’t know what that was about.

Black Widow: That leads to my next question. These songs came out when I was in grade school, so my memories are from grammar school parties and the radio primarily. What are some of your fondest memories from that time?

Ron Carroll:  I loved that back then Chicago had its watermark on the world. We had our own style, sound and vision. The music felt like it was us…it was Chicago. Just like hip hop felt like New York in the beginning.   Unfortunately over the years, we've allowed other cities to take credit and to a certain degree lost our identity.  We started taking other cities vibes and sounds.  

Black Widow: Do you think Chicago House Music has lost its signature sound?

Ron Carroll:   I do.  A lot of people don’t want to talk about the 90s but there was a huge gap with house music during that time because a lot of House DJ’s started playing Hip Hop.   They stopped doing house and did R&B and hip hop so now the city became completely influenced by that sound which was coming out of other cities. The 90s was a crucial moment.  If you notice when people talk about the older days of house, they always speak about the 80s and omit the 90s. Clubs shut down, the crowds switched…the 90s was a very critical moment. On the urban side, everyone wanted to be hip hop and we stopped creating the sounds that came from “our hoods”. While New York was doing hip hop and creating this sound that came from their hoods, we stopped doing that here.  House Music was the music we made...from our experiences and from our hoods... That sound was completely us.  We have to get back to that...OUR SOUND instead of the sounds from other cities to influence our music. That's how Chicago stayed innovative back then.  We were the trendsetters, not the other way around.

Black Widow:  In listening to Chicago Born, I have to say, War Beats is my favorite! That beat is bananas! Do you have a favorite track on the project?

Ron Carroll:   Oh Thank you!   Yeah War Beats, definitely and I also have to say Poindexters Groove and Born Acid. 

Black Widow:  This website is all about Chicago House Music and the Chicago House scene.  How does being an artist from Chicago and having this rich history influence or impact you as an artist?

Ron Carroll:  I love it.  I take Chicago with me wherever I go.  It’s a huge reason why I did Chicago Born and will continue the series with different volumes.  The music and genre we created impacted the world. 

Black Widow:  Thank you so much Ron for taking some time to speak with me today. Continued success and blessings to you!

Ron Carroll:  It was my pleasure. Thank you.

Check out my review of Ron Carroll at Club Experience Here!

Until next time,

See ya on a Dance Floor!

Black Widow

[rationalsanskar]

Schools practice mindfulness

“It helps me relax.”

Kicking off his shoes and finding a comfortable position on a blanket laid out on the floor of Donna Haller’s second-floor classroom, eighth-grader Foster Shirkey was succinct and to the point recently in explaining why he shows up every Monday after school for a weekly 30-minute meditative practice led by Haller.

Shirkey is a regular presence in a new initiative on the shared campus of Yellow Springs High and McKinney Middle schools introducing mindfulness practices to students.

But there’s more to the initiative than providing a relaxing respite for participants. It’s also serving for some students as an alternative option to detention.

The district is responding to a growing body of research that suggests behaviors that traditionally put students in detention— persistent tardiness, classroom disruptions, verbal altercations — are more effectively addressed with experiences that allow students to get in touch with their senses and calm their emotions.

Sitting at a desk for an hour after school doesn’t really promote the kind of personal reflection that leads to changed behavior, noted Principal Jack Hatert before the mindfulness programming launched in the fall.

Changing behavior, rather than strict punishment, is the preferred disciplinary approach for both Hatert and Vice-Principal Cameron McCoy, who has responsibility for much of the schools’ student discipline, the two administrators have said.

In addition to guided meditation on Mondays, the programming includes a yoga club, which meets for an hour immediately after school each Wednesday in the schools’ shared library.

Three months into the program isn’t enough time to assess long-term behavioral changes, but Hatert, when asked last month, spoke even more excitedly about the program than before it began.

“It’s been great,” he said enthusiastically in a conversation following a school board meeting.

He noted that one student who reluctantly chose yoga over detention came back the next week because he liked it so much.

“Everybody should do this,” Hatert said the boy asserted.

Ninth-grader Isabella Beiring is an ardent believer in its positive effects as well, regularly participating with both the Monday and Wednesday groups.

“I like learning about yoga and mindfulness in general,” Beiring said before a recent Monday session of guided meditation. “I like doing the poses.”

“It can help with stress and anxiety,” she said.

Research shows benefits

In establishing the after-school mindfulness activities, and approaching them as a way to address student behavior, Yellow Springs has joined a growing number of schools across the country that are adding yoga and meditative practices to the school day.

A 2015 survey conducted by the National Institute of Health found yoga being offered in more than 940 schools across the country, with more than 5,400 instructors trained to offer yoga in educational settings at that time. An article last year in the Philly Voice noted that federal data shows the number of U.S. children aged 4 to 17 practicing yoga rose from 2.3% to 8.4% —1.3 million to 4.9 million — between 2007 and 2017, with no indication of slowing.

The trend follows over a decade of research published in such peer-reviewed publications as the Journal of Child and Family Studies, which in 2009 published a study that linked mindfulness training — teaching children how to manage their thoughts and emotions — to reduced anxiety levels and increased attention spans.

Studies also have concluded that such mindful activities as yoga can help students respond to stress, process past trauma, enhance positive social engagement and possibly improve academic performance.

At the same time, however, not every community where yoga has been introduced has been receptive. Some schools have experienced public push back, particularly in more socially conservative and rural areas, the Atlantic Magazine reported last year. Of particular concern in some school districts is the belief that yoga and meditation practices promote non-Christian beliefs.

Conversely, in places where yoga is offered in the context of gym or athletics, some spiritual practitioners have found fault with its presentation as mere physical exercise.

Social-emotional learning

The newly introduced mindfulness practices fit into the district’s incorporation of social-emotional learning as part of the overall curriculum, according to Hatert.

The district for several years has been actively complementing academic classroom lessons with activities that address the needs of the “whole child,” including social and emotional growth.

The Day of Empowerment, started three years ago at the high school, and the Day of Discovery, introduced last year at Mills Lawn, where students explore identity and relationship building, are examples of some of the district’s efforts.

While Yellow Springs had already embraced the educational philosophy that focuses on all aspects of healthy child growth and development, the state of Ohio this year introduced standards directly related to social-emotional learning as part of the Ohio Department of Education’s, or ODE’s, five-year strategic plan, titled “Each Child, Our Future.”

In developing the plan, the ODE identified four “equal learning domains,” with one of the four being social-emotional learning.

According to the ODE, social-emotional learning includes “processes through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships and make responsible decisions.”

Such learning is now ranked equally with the other three “educational domains,” identified as: foundational knowledge and skills, which include literacy, numeracy and technology; well-rounded content, which includes social studies, sciences, languages, arts, health and physical education; and leadership and reasoning, which includes problem solving, design thinking, creativity and information analytics.

In terms of social-emotional learning, the state has defined five “competencies” as the basis for its learning standards:

•self-awareness

•self-management

•social awareness

•relationship skill

• responsible decision-making.

Yellow Spring educators believe that mindfulness practices such as guided meditation and yoga foster the whole-child development addressed in the new standards.

“It gives students more tools,” Principal Hatert said this fall.

The YS mindfulness experience

For freshman Isabella Beiring, the Monday mindfulness practice and Wednesday yoga sessions address self-awareness and management of strong emotions.

“Someone I know said that mindfulness and yoga have helped them with their ADHD and with processing an event where they had lost someone who was dear to them,” she wrote for a video project about the schools’ program.

Instructor Haller, an intervention specialist at the high school for the past nine years and a certified yoga and meditation instructor for adults and youth, believes that the practices can have profound effects on students. She leads both afternoon gatherings at the school, as well as community classes at Antioch’s Wellness Center and the House of Aum.

She said she began leading students in short mindfulness and yoga activities in her classroom about three years ago, and saw a positive effect, not only in students’ being able to manage stress and anxiety, but also in their attention and focus.

She went to Principal Hatert about offering longer sessions after school and wrote a $2,800 grant to the Yellow Springs Educational Endowment, or YSEE, for 20 sets of yoga mats, blankets, bolsters and blocks to complement the 10 sets she already had.

“I love it,” she said after leading a yoga nidra guided meditation last month. “It does as much for me as them,” she said of the calming, centering effects.

She said the participant turnout is different each week. Some sessions there are just two, others see a dozen.

For Wednesday yoga, the participants make space in the middle of the library floor for their mats. Haller sits in front of the group, quietly leading the students through a series of poses.

On Mondays, she welcomes students toher cozy classroom, which she transforms for optimal comfort. The lighting is low, blankets cover the floor and an aroma of lavender fills the air.

Students find a spot to lie, many covering up with a blanket and closing their eyes as Haller speaks softly and calmly, focusing on deep breaths, relaxation and the space between the breaths.

She points to moments of tension release and tells the students that they can remember that feeling and go back to it during times of anxiety and stress during the school day.

The students are nearly asleep when Haller concludes the session about 30 minutes later.

Beiring said it has become an important part of her week.

“It puts your mind at ease for awhile,” she said.

The post Schools practice mindfulness appeared first on The Yellow Springs News.

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