#long story shot

[alasblogpoetry]

Coolth.

Earth a lifeless cement - Dirt frozen over, Trees bare and dead.

Wind a motionless freeze - Air is as if claws Cling onto our skin.

Sun a heartless deceit - A disk blank and white, An absence of heat.

Fire - its faint orange tongues barely touching our skin.

Layers of sweaters - heavy but transparent to coolth.

Submerged, by woods, by deathly coolth of morning, by thirst for warmth.

Together a freezing love - Forget the fire and layers, We hug.

Warmth.

(to MK, AK, DB, and Art)

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[thepladinsheart]

°•☆SONG OF THE DAY☆•°

(this time a little early lol)

"feel from the precipise, clung to the nearest lips. long story short, it was the wrong guy" -taylor swift, 2021

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[eowynstwin]

John Price x Reader. Fluff. Implications of a BDSM relationship.

At some point in the evening—for you, anyway, since when you answer the call it’s clearly midday for him—John finds the time during his latest deployment for a video chat.

He looks a little haggard when the call connects, face reddened across his nose and cheekbones and dark circles under his eyes. He brightens when he sees you, though, crows feet deepening.

“There’s my dove,” he says fondly, the rasp of his voice low and soft. His beard is growing out, curly and dark in the artifacting of the camera.

“There’s my captain,” you return, smiling.

“What day is it for you, there?” he asks, sitting back, getting comfortable.

“Saturday,” you answer.

“Mmm,” he hums, as if it’s the nicest thing he’s heard all day. Probably is, really. “Tell me about it.”

You do; John always likes to hear about your days, when he’s far away. The tiny adventures, the workplace dramas, the little pleasures and minor catastrophes of normal civilian life. Keeps him balanced, he tells you; reminds him there are other parts of his life aside from the job, and the work.

You show him the embroidery project you’re close to finishing, the little window hinges you bought at the craft store for the miniature apartment you’ve been building from a kit. It’s the same one that he always half-complains about being spread over the kitchen island when he’s home, and you always remind him that he doesn’t have much room to complain; he bought you the kit on a whim, after all, without your even asking.

At one point the door starts opening behind him—he’s posted up in a large tent, empty bunks behind him—and he quickly covers the camera with his hand. He mutes you for a moment, then comes back.

“Only got a few more minutes, sorry,” he says, refocusing on you. “And—y’didn’t mention that other project, I noticed.”

You suck your lips between your teeth, effecting ignorance. “Hm?”

“The writing one.”

As always, nothing escapes him.

“So here’s the thing,” you say, strangling the fingers of one hand with the fingers of the other, “the bathroom is so clean now, John.”

“Dove.”

“And I finally ordered my new glasses, you know, like I’ve been meaning to for months, and you keep reminding me about.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose between two broad fingers, eyes sliding shut like you’ve just told him that some important intel has gone bad. “How long have you been working on this.”

“I don’t think that’s important,” you squeak.

One blue eye opens, piercing you. Humor sparks in its depths, though when he speaks, his voice is gruff, every bit as commanding as when he gives orders to his men. “I need to go,” he says, “so here’s the deal I’m gonna offer you. If that draft isn’t done by the next time I speak to you, then when I get home I’ll put you over my knee and tan your arse until you’re crying. Understood?”

Your voice has retreated somewhere down your throat, hiding very far beyond your trembling vocal cords. “Yes sir, understood,” you manage to peep.

His other eye opens, and he smiles affectionately. “There’s a love.”

[clouvu]

Offering lil doodles of them bc my eyes have been opened

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

A Warning to the Curious (Lawrence Gordon Clark, 1972)

[cptrs]

[phoenixtakaramono]

(Illustration drawn in 2022)

The Boys S4 Sneak Peek (2024)

*surprised Pikachu face*

[slymanner]

Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise

HE can work

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Instead of saying something that will happen in the AU could you say something that won't happen?

Hmmm........... WD!Steven and Lars will never be friends.

[fereldanwench]

2065 "Why blue?" "Cliche sad girl shit. Just sorta stuck."

⚠️ do not reupload or edit my shots without my permission ⚠️

[asktheunicronduology]

we like to have fun around here

[squeakadeeks]

*crawls out of the psd file covered in blood* AUGH

[xoxoemynn]

Fan Fic Friday!

I'm finally getting in the headspace to be able to read and enjoy fic and oh boy have I been enjoying it! Sharing a few that I've enjoyed reading this past week. For simplicity's sake I'm focusing just on completed works.

People Are Just People (Like You) by @trans-top-stede and @nonplayer-character (plus art!!) Holy shit. Holy shit. This story is stunning. This 24K fic (that also includes some wonderful art) shows Ed struggling to re-enter the world after the COVID lockdowns, all while drawing solace listening to a radio show for aliens. (Hmmm, wonder who could be hosting that?) There is pure, raw emotion baked into each and every word. The loneliness, the feeling of knowing it SHOULD be so easy to just do what you once did so easily but now it's HARD, the desperation, the hope, all while Ed just keeps trying. By the end I was weeping and just feeling in awe of all the little ways humans are simply there for each other, time and time again. I found this work deeply relatable, and I'm sure many others on here will as well. It's an absolute masterpiece and I can't stop thinking about it.

Red Skies at Night by @soupbtch Oh, this is a FUN one, even if I was literally screaming at my laptop for chapter upon chapter because OH MY GOD I KNOW I SAID I LOVE A SLOW BURN BUT WHY MUST THEY BURN SO SLOWLY WHY CAN'T THEY JUST KISS?!?!?! Anyway. Stede's a perfectly bitchy cruise critic, Ed's performing on said cruise ship, sparks fly. This 64K fic is the perfect blend of humor and tension and heartache and of course, a lot of romance. And some great sex. Danny did such a great job using beats from both S1 and S2 to tell a really beautiful story that had me grinning ear to ear nearly the entire time. (Again, nearly, because I also did a lot of screaming.) Absolutely fantastic.

True to Life by @ipomoea-batatas This summary ("Ed and Stede accidentally open an inn for ghosts") had me sold immediately. It's fluffy domestic fic. And a ghost. But not like a ghost that's going to be terrifying and murder you in your sleep, so don't worry if that's not your jam. Just a ghost with a backstory. This fic 28K is SO much fun, filled with impeccable banter that feels like Taika and Rhys just got set loose and were allowed to do whatever they wanted. A bit of a mystery, a bit of cozy domesticity, a lot of fun. Highly recommend.

Flotsam and Jetsam by @/anathxmadevice Looking for a quick read? This one's a little over 5K and is so absurdly lovely. Don't be fooled by the short word count; there are some Big Feels in this fic. Stede's a beachcomber, and Ed runs a pub, and naturally Ed is immediately charmed by Stede's excitement at finding some funky shells. I don't want to give away the ending, but suffice to say it basically left me the human embodiment of this emoji: 🥹. Just a beautiful little bite-sized fic. And there's also a podfic!

Pete & Prejudice by @shieldmaidenofmithrilhall Okay, here's something a little different! All of the above are Ed x Stede, but here's an absolutely charming 14K story about Lucius and Pete! (Although there are some truly adorable Ed x Stede moments in it as well.) Pete and Lucius are dating and everything is amazing, except once a year Pete disappears for "a thing," and now Lucius is determined to find out what it is. I can't say much more without spoiling it, but I will say I started smiling in the very first paragraph and by the time I was done my grin had basically reached my eyebrows. Absolutely perfect characterization, so sweet, so romantic, and some moments that literally made me laugh out loud. Be prepared to fall even more deeply in love with Pete.

[citylighten]

1968