#long story short there's a person i know that became a tattoo artist but they suck

[glooomtownbrats]

currently having a crisis because it's ridiculous how mostly you don't even have to be good at something/whatever. you just have to be confident

[bthemistake]

I want to tell you a story.

When I was in Primary school, I went to an afterschool club and it was there I met a good friend. At the time, he wasn't called Dan nor did he go by he/him pronouns. I knew Dan for a year, in which we became close friends and shared our love of theatre. At the age of nine, I thought myself quite the writer and created a short play (if it could be called that lol) called 'Shining Stars'. A few pages actually managed to survive my childhood and are carefully tucked away in my room.

Dan, of course, was a part of the play and asked for their character to be male. At such a young age, I was oblivious and thought nothing of it, writing the character 'Rob' at my friends request. I believe he may have even picked the name himself.

Due to being a year older than me, Dan moved up to Secondary school without me and another year would pass before I saw him again. When I met him for the first time as 'Dan', I happily accepted him and was only a little sad that we weren't as close as before.

Unfortunately, that school was far from accepting. I myself would later be outed twice with nasty rumours gossiping about my sexuality while other queer students were picked on by teachers, but nothing would compare to the harassment Dan faced.

The last time I saw Dan, he was crying into the arms of a friend in the middle of a hallway. I remember hugging him too and growing close to tears myself. After that, Dan vanished and I assumed he moved schools, taking his sibling with him, and perhaps towns too because I haven't seen any of them in nine years.

I can only hope that he's still alive and safe, especially from the current culture war against Trans people being used by the Tory government and media here in the UK.

Transphobia isn't something that just got bad recently, it's been around for a long time and it wont get better until everyday people do something. If you are a parent/legal guardian, you have a responsibility to keep your child from discriminating against others. If you are a student and you hear a classmate or friend being an ass, you have to call them out.

Hateful opinions and attitudes flourish when they go uncontested. Sure, donating to charities and engaging in fundraiser are all good things and help, but you can make one hell of a difference by supporting even one queer person in your life. Fuck knows they need it right now.

Build a community, it saves a life.

[Image Description: Coloured in the gradient of the Transgender flag, a trans male (ftm) is reaching up to grasp at a smooth fabric that wafts around him, covering his waist, which is a Trans-pride flag. He had tattoos, one of which being the Transgender symbol and another being my artists tag (lol I snuck that in there), and is proudly shirtless with his top-surgery scars on display. He looks a little worried, cradling his body with his other arm, in a protective manner, but doesn't push away his flag or his identity.]

[void-imp-archived]

Here's my Jeremy ramble, buckle up it's gonna be a long one

I was thinking about jeremy and how I feel like I haven't given him enough flaws, and I think I've figured out what to do. In the traditional, academical sense, Jeremy is not "smart". He's not dumb, far from it, but he was never the stereotypical booksmart kid who excelled in school. Math and physics are his biggest struggles, to the point he'd skip class as a teen. It was something so unlike him, someone who had been praised for being a good, dutiful kid who always did he right thing his whole life, but the fear of feeling stupid was greater than the fear of dissapointing his mom. Both, however, were ever-present. Languages were less of a hurdle, and those subjects that allowed or encouraged conversation, like social studies. Apart from having to memorize a bunch of dates, he enjoyed history too. Where he excels is when he gets to work with his hands. He's a great cook, an incredible artist, athletic, has a green thumb. These are his strengths but he's always felt like it pales in comparison to his mother's achievements. His mother, who came to the states and fought to make a life for herself here, who's incredibly clever, who went to college and became a doctor. Who raised him on her own while being a med student. He wants to live up to the expectations she has for him, to make her proud, and continously finds himself falling short. Some of this is partially resolved before Jeremy as we know him shows up in the story. On his last year of High School, he and his mother got in a fight. He'd finally gathered the courage to tell her his dreams of becoming a tattoo artist and she did not like the idea. Wanted him to go to college. Jeremy loves his mom more than anything, and defying her expectations was the scariest thing he's ever had to do. And in the same way, Alma loves her son most of everything in this world, and wanted what she thought was best for him but also wanted him to be happy. In Alma's mind Jeremy was still her baby, and the realization that he was almost fully grown up was like having a bucket of cold water emptied over her head. The little kid proudly showing off how he learned to tie his shoes was almost an adult, and was already becoming his own person. So she brokered a deal: if he tended to his studies, passed his finals and got an A in math, she would fully support him in becoming a tattoo artist. He studied hard, got help from his friends, and felt confident. When the day came, the culmination of all his hard work, the moment his hopes for the future rested on… he got a B. To say he was dissapointed would be an understatement. He was crushed. The feeling of being an utter failure was greater now than at any other point in his life. Pure dread pooled in his stomach at the thought of having to tell his mom, having to see the disappointment in her eyes. When he came home, his mom wasn't disappointed at all. She wrapped him in a hug and told him how proud she was of him, and he cried for what felt like hours. She made them a cup of tea, put on a movie, and they had a talk. She had seen his hard work and was still willing to support him, even if she would rather see him continue his education. He admitted he didn't feel fully ready, that he kinda wanted to go to community college first, and that's what he ended up doing. Now that he lives on the other side of the country, working as an apprentice at a tattoo studio, he's happy that he decided to wait those two years. He still sucks at math but he's more mature now, more grounded, and feel better suited to take on the challenges that await him now he's on his own.

[dem0nguy]

MEOWWWW!!!! PLEASEE!!! ON MY KNEES… tell me about your ocs mootie… or send me some refs please plea please alsjslsbsmsknsn. Esp bonesss… please plea se. (Is so normal right now)

Send it to me Rachel,,, send it to me pleaseeee /ref

JSHFHSJDJFJJS OFC MOOTIE‼️‼️

Okokok so first I wanna give some background, bc I’ve had these babies for ~5 years and I recently overhauled their designs/lore and now im obsessed.

They used to be my old gacha ocs (back in the good ol days 😔) but they had a very uh… fucked up story, to say the least. (Rider used to be some sort of mary sue 0-0) The story was so all over the place that I’m not sure I can properly explain it. But that’s exactly why I rewrote it :3

So the story revolves around two main characters, Rider and Cody.

Rider is a (secret) agent at the Bureau of Magical Containment and Research, aka the BMCR. He’s technically not supposed to be working there. Because yk, child labor laws. But the BMCR has a tendency to skirt around laws and get away with it.

Rider was only able to join the BMCR because of Bones, who became his guardian after both his parents died. (Ik thats the most typical tragic oc lore, but like, bare with me ;-;)

He was indoctrinated into the BMCR when he was 10, and because of Bones’ assistance, he earned the codename, “Free-Rider.” (Most people just call him Rider, but other BMCR operatives he isn’t personally connected to use his full codename)

He has a real name, but he doesn’t use it anymore. It reminds him too much of his parents and how much he misses them. He goes by the alias “Rider Youngson,” and picked “Rider” as his first name as a reference to his codename. To him, it symbolizes a new era in his life.

Rider wears a mask to hide the tattoo on his cheek. (There’s a lot of lore behind tattoos/markings but it would take forever to explain, so long story short, it’s related to class and is typically changed based on occupation.) Kids under 18 aren’t supposed to have full time jobs, and especially aren’t supposed to work at a highly sensitive government organization. So yk, he’s gotta hide it.

(Sometimes he uses makeup, but he’s lazy 90% of the time and just throws on a mask. (It’s also pretty normal for people to wear masks, bc he lives in a big city and disease is RAMPANT))

His current goal is to graduate high school, and then go to legally work at the BMCR full time. But that kinda changes once he meets Cody >:3

He actually has a mission called “Operation Deadpride” and for as cool as it sounds, it’s really simple. All he’s supposed to do is be on the lookout for magical anomalies, report them to the BMCR, then go with a team to capture it.

He has a cool ass motorcycle, bc silly :3

Also his favorite artist would be Rhianna (he would also listen to Katy Perry, Kesha, Chase Atlantic, and The Chainsmokers (I have a whole playlist for this guy and it’s all I listen to now…))

Okay now Bones. Bones’ full codename is “Bone-Crusher,” because he’s trained in a fighting style that allows him to easily break the opponent’s bones. (No one knows where tf he learned it, and he refuses to teach it to anyone except Rider)

(Unrelated but he uses he/him pronouns and he’s aroace :] )

He was good friends with Rider’s parents, which is why he volunteered to take Rider in. He trains Rider incredibly hard, both mentally and physically. He says it’s to “catch him up” and “get him on everyone else’s level” But Rider thinks he just likes making him suffer.

Bones welds an electrically charged halberd. It kind of acts like a taser, but he can adjust the intensity to instantly kill someone/something. (He doesn’t like doing that though, and refrains from it.)

He’s a very secretive guy, and only has one or two other friends. To most, he comes off as a hard-headed workaholic. He’s been loyal to the BMCR long before he joined it, or, has he..? >:3

Finally, I’ll go over Cody (this is getting too long 0-0)

Cody is the second main character, and he’s relatively normal. He’s got a younger stepbrother, a dad and a stepdad, and a happy little life :3

One problem, she’s got magic in a world that fears magic.

Cody has the ability to create portals, really strong ones too. But she’s got to be really careful when using her powers or else the BMCR will find her and kill her.

Their biological mom died during childbirth, so they never got to meet her. (Casey’s mom left to get the milk, so they never met her either lol)

Cody’s very strong academically, and is working to get into a good college to get a degree in biology or something else science related. (She’s not entirely sure yet.) He gets straight A’s, takes too many AP classes for his own good, and is beloved by all the teachers.

Then he meets Rider.

They share science class together, and get partnered up for a project. After that, they become “hey I don’t hate you as much as everyone else how about we bullshit these assignments together” acquaintances

Rider is relatively popular in comparison to Cody. People like talking to him, and invite him to parties (that he never goes to.) Cody is more of a recluse, she has a few friends here and there, but spends most of her time focusing on schoolwork.

She dyes her hair black, their natural hair color is a dark red :3

Eventually, Cody accidentally reveals their powers to Rider. So Rider makes it his new mission to capture Cody and turn them in to the BMCR.

Rider doesn’t actually tell the other agents about Cody, because he wants to handle something by himself for once. And when he finally gets around to telling them, they don’t believe him.

Bones thinks he just has a crush on Cody and he’s just making up excuses to hang out with him. (He’s not wrong tbh)

There’s SO much more, but I don’t wanna make you read an essay pookie. I hope you enjoy this little blurb tho :D

[vintage-retro-queen]

Get to Know Mary-Loukritia "Lucy” Corleone

Here is the image of who Mary-Loukritia "Lucy" Corleone is, and what she looks like to those who want to know who she is and what she looks like.

Zodiac Sign: Virgo (September)

Age: 15

Hair Color: Deep-Cocoa Brown

Eye Color(s): Deep-Cocoa Brown

Hair Length: Long to her back

Hairstyle(s): Let down, straight, braids, ponytail(s), (other hairstyles, still thinking of)

Clothes: White long sleeved sweater with mid-opacity truffle beige plaid pattern, brown overall dress, high waist socks, brown boots (no heels), and beige earrings, White designer crop tank-blouse, peachy pink open front cardigan sweater V neck vintage slim shirt, low rise flared leg boyfriend blue bottoms jeans, silver chain belt with silver butterflies, white slip-on platform shoes (not the higher ones, just an inch taller ones), Y2K hypoallergenic magnetic earrings-piercings (No actual piercing required), and a Y2K pink heart necklace with XOXO in it. Dove-white designer dress, white and pink designer dress (shorts underneath the dresses), monochrome and brown crop jackets, white flats, white heels, diamond earrings, necklace, anklet, bracelet, gold choker-necklace, and gold earrings. Casual outfit on the middle, nightwear on the right, and swimwear on the left. (Other Clothes and accessories are coming soon)

Likes: Family, trustworthy friends, helping others, repaying others, delicious pastries, her beloved cats and kittens.

Dislikes: Fake people (ex. Fake Friends who use others as puppets), people who betray who, people who frame others for petty/tons of things, people using others various and personal reasons, bullies getting away with everything, victims being put to blame, the dreams she keeps getting every night, people who talk and look down on others to make themselves feel better, people treating others as slaves/servants, etc (more coming soon)

Sexuality: Pansexual + Demiromantic

Relationship Status: Single

Occupation: Model, artist, writer, animator, filmmaker, editor, voice actor, actress, dancer, singer, musician, and student. (In summary, a multitasker)

Hobbies: Sketching, drawing (Doodling, hatching, pop art, scribble, caricature (Anime styles), gesture drawing, perspective drawing, stippling, tattoo drawing, portrait, line drawing, life drawing, cartoon drawing, photorealism, pointillism, analytical drawing, realism, anamorphic), writing (Story, nonfic, poet, etc), animating, film making, editing, voice acting, dancing (ballet, ballroom, folk, swing, lyrical, belly dancing, concert, Latin, tap, salsa, fusion, rumba, jazz), singing, playing various instruments, helping family around the house, cooking for friends and family, going to her favorite place in London, playing sports and/or ocean sports (football (soccer), Cricket, rounders, polo, rugby, netball, and badminton), volunteering for helping out in the community, reading (most genres, just not all due to personal reasons by her family), listening to music in her record player or gramophone when she's listening to music with her friends and/or family.

Favorite Music: Rock, soft rock, various rock and roll music (became one of her favorite since some of her friends introduced it to her), classical, classical rock, romance, gothic music, 1950s-early 2000s, songs that screams nostalgia, etc.

Personality: Sweet, kind, honest, generous, loyal, selfless, and caring, but will get mad in case anybody gets into her bad side or tries to.

Favorite Animals: Dogs, puppies, cats, kittens, birds, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, lions, tigers, cheetahs, leopards, panthers, horses, foals. (Mostly cats and kittens) And her beloved cats and kittens she takes care of as if they are her children.

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Britain-Italian (Fluent in French, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, English, Hindi, German, Icelandic, Norwegian, Estonian, Bengali, Belarusian, Russian, Swedish, Thai, Turkish, Vietnamese, Taiwanese, Slovak, Slovenian, Haitian Creole, Croatian, Portuguese, Ukrainian, Tibetan, Romanian, Czech, Latvian, Lithuanian, Danish, Greek, Russian, Finland, Hungarian, etc=Polyglot)

IQ: 300

Status: Alive

More Information Coming Soon...

So, that's basically all you need to know for now.

And to those who are wondering what a polyglot is, it's a person who speaks and/or understands many languages.

Desc. Prologue.

[yunkiwii]

tattoos together | college au

Pairing: FWB!Seonghwa x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff დ

Warnings: slightly suggestive, drinking, language

Word Count: ~3k

Requested: no, but you can see how to do so here if you’d like!

A/N: I recommend listening to tattoos together by lauv, since this is based on that song. ♡

Summary: (y/n) met Seonghwa in college and they quickly became close, ending up as friends with benefits. On a night out with some friends both of them ended up drinking a bit to much and well, I think we all know where this is going.

⇘

“Whereee shouuuuld weee go next?” (y/n) asked, loudly, as she grabbed Seonghwa’s arm so she wouldn’t fall, being tipsy from all the wine she had been drinking with her friends at dinner.

“You should probably head back home before you hurt yourself or someone else.”

“Don’t be a mood killer, sweetie!” (y/n) groaned back to Mia, pointing a finger to her way too sober roommate and best friend. "We still have a long long night ahead of us!" (y/n) stumbles making Seonghwa hold her closer to him.

Seonghwa wasn't nearly as drunk as (y/n), just tipsy enough to go on board with her crazy plans without thinking twice.

"So, let’s go find a party to crash!" the boy started walking away from his friends dragging a smiley faced (y/n) with him, both clearly more intoxicated than the rest of the group.

They hadn’t gone far, mainly because of how slow their feet were moving, when Hongjoong intervened.“Guys! Wait up!” they stumbled on their own feet when turning around to look at their friend. Their two friends were already approaching them. “Do you guys really think it is a good idea to just wander around like that?”

“YES!” both stated firmly at the same time before bursting into laughter.

“Well, I’m not in the mood and since you’re both adults you can take good care of yourselves.” Mia shrugged her shoulders and was about to leave when she remembered something else, “Please be quiet when you get home, and be safe.” She threw a warning look at Seonghwa when saying the last words. She knew how crazy her best friend could get with a couple of drinks and a party, and Seonghwa had a strong effect upon (y/n) that Mia never understood, and she only hoped he would use it for (y/n)’s sake.

“I’ll take you home, Mia. See you tomorrow guys.” Hongjoong did a little run to catch up to the girl. The other two friends bursted into laughter again when they saw Hongjoong place an arm around Mia’s shoulder.

“Now we know why they wanted to go home so badly…”

“Oh Seonghwa, they’re not like us. They will probably just cuddle for now. Let’s go!” (y/n) grabbed the boy’s hand and started her demand to find a party again.

“What do you mean they’re not likes us? We also cuddle!” (y/n) giggled at how offended Seonghwa sounded.

“Hm you know, they want a real relationship, we’re just friends having fun. Besides, our cuddles are never just cuddling.” She said it like it wasn’t a big deal and didn’t really think much of it. Seonghwa on the other hand got hurt, he didn’t quite understand why though. They agreed from the very start that this was a casual friends with benefits kind of thing, nothing more.

He shook these thoughts out of his head, thinking perhaps it was just the alcohol speaking.

In the meantime (y/n) uploaded a story of them on Instagram asking if there were any parties they could crash. That story led them to a new club that had opened recently, making (y/n) almost run there out of excitement. This was her first night out in two months, after being trapped between her room and the library to study for exams. Now she was finally free and wanted to live it to the fullest, Seonghwa not minding at all to join in.

Unfortunately, the excitement soon turns into disappointment. They get to the club, ID’s in hand, bodies already moving to the muffled beat leaving the building, but the security guard stops them from going any further. They look at each other and back at the big, buffy man, that blocked the entrance with his arm, with confused looks. They had already showed their ID’s, it didn’t make sense.

Then, the guard pointed at (y/n)’s clothes. She was wearing black shorts, fishnet tights, combat boots and the piece of clothing that seemed to be the problem, an oversized boyfriend style t-shirt.

“You can’t come in with boy’s clothes.” The big man stated, without an ounce of emotion in his voice.

“WHAT?” (y/n)’s posture changed completely; a defiant look marked all over her face, “That doesn’t make any sense! These aren’t boy’s clothes; these are MY CLOTHES! And even if they were boy’s clothes, we live in a free country, I can wear whatever I want!”

“Then go wear whatever you want somewhere else. You can’t come in like that, it’s the club’s policy.”

“Fuck the club’s policy! That’s so unethical what the hell?! I can’t believe people were recommending me this shit hole!” (y/n) screamed into the guard’s face, pointing fingers, waving arms and when she was finished, she spat on his shoes. Yes, she spat. Seonghwa grabbed her hand immediately pulling her out of there before they got into trouble, and ran away into nowhere, just wanting to get away.

“I’ll make sure to fill a complaint later.” Seonghwa stated after catching his breath from the unplanned cardio. “Also, I think this run sobered me.”

“I can’t believe that wearing oversized clothes is breaking club’s policy, what the hell?” (y/n) sat on the sidewalk still annoyed with the situation. “I’ve would’ve spat on his face if he weren’t to be that freaking huge.” Seonghwa laughed loudly sitting down next to her, making her laugh as well. “Thank you for pulling me out, he could probably smash me with one hand.”

“That’s what I’m here for (y/n), Mia delegated me the job when she decided to go home. But I got to say, you scare me sometimes.” He bumped his shoulder on hers lightly, making her look up at him smiling. “What should we do now? Go home?”

“I guess... the night is ruined anyway, and I also think the run sobered me.” (y/n) chuckled, leaning her head to rest on the boy’s shoulder. This simple gesture almost made Seonghwa forget how to breathe, starting to feel funny things in his stomach. He remained as still and quiet as possible, afraid that even the slightest movement would make her stand up and break the contact.

They stayed like that for a while, still recovering from the run. Until (y/n) noticed something right in front of them that made her stand up with a sudden movement, startling Seonghwa. She widened her eyes and looked down at her friend, as happy as a kid opening Christmas’ presents.

“What?”

“This night can still be memorable! I’m a genius!” she started crossing the road, stopping in the middle to look at her friend, still standing up from the sidewalk. “Come one! Hurry up!”

Seonghwa could not believe how a person could change their mood that fast. A few moments ago, she was pouty, annoyed, angry, and just wanted to go home. But now, she looks like a child and is ready for a new adventure as if nothing had happened before. He did love that about her. Love? Wait, no what? He liked her, liked, as a friend. He was sure of it. Or was he?

“How?”

“How what?”

“How are you going to make this night memorable?” that question made her smile even wider, grabbing his hand for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night, dragging him to a small shop with a neon light sign. As soon as Seonghwa realised what it was he stepped back.

“No, (y/n), no way you’re getting a tattoo here!” his face expression was shock, and nothing else.

“No, I am not. We are!”

“What do you even know about this place? Is it even hygienic?” Seonghwa glanced over the tattoo shop with disgust.

“I don’t know,” (y/n) shrugged her shoulders, “but we should get inside and find out.” She stepped in without a care in the world, a little bell rang when she opened the door.

Seonghwa walked behind her looking around, analysing every small detail searching for any red flags that would tell him to get the hell out of there. So far, everything seemed nice, it was organized, the store overall seemed clean, and the tattoo drafts hung upon the walls were actually aesthetically pleasing.

“This doesn’t look so bad… but what kind of tattoo shop is opened until this late at night?” The boy wasn’t yet convinced, and (y/n) knew it would take him a while, being as cautious as he is.

“Stop being so septic about everything, Hwa!”

“May I help you?” a voice coming from behind them made (y/n) jump. A tall woman came out of the side door, probably leading to where the tattoos were made, and greeted them with a smile. “Sorry if I startled you, love.”

“Oh, hm, we want to get tattoos! Together!” Seonghwa glanced over at (y/n) wondering why she was being so weird and flustered all of a sudden, so lost looking at her that he didn’t even corrected the together part. But he went back to reality when the woman spoke again.

“So, you want matching tattoos?”

“NO! We don’t, I don’t, I haven’t agreed to this yet! (y/n), a word please?”

“We’ll be right back!” (y/n) said all smiley to the woman, who smiled back at her while she was basically being dragged to the outside again. “What the hell Hwa? You could’ve been nicer back there!”

“You are all heart eyed looking at that tattoo artist!”

“So what? … are you jealous Hwa?”, (y/n) smirked, tilting her head sweetly, pleased with how annoyed the boy looked about the situation.

“What? No! I don’t have any reason to be jealous, this,” he pointed between them,” this isn’t a relationship, so no, I’m not jealous. You wish. And don’t give me that look!”

“You look cute when you get nervous, Hwa.”

“Shut up, let’s just go home!” he said as he started to walk away, but (y/n) was stubborn and wouldn’t leave without a tattoo so she stood in front of him so he wouldn’t go any further.

“We haven’t gotten our tattoos yet. And I really want a tattoo on my thigh and I really want to do it with you!”, she pointed her index at him touching his chest slightly.

“Why though?”

“Because I don’t have any thigh tattoo yet, duh..”

“And you should get one, there’s plenty of space for it.” He smirked glancing at (y/n)’s thick thighs, getting a soft punch on his shoulder as a response. “But why with me? Do I really have to make one too?”

“Yes! I really want us to have something ours, I have one with Mia as well and you’re my only other best friend and I don’t want to lose you.”

“And how will a tattoo help you with that, huh?” he crossed his arms looking down at (y/n) with furrowed eyebrows.

“When I get mad at Mia for some reason and I want to hate her, I look at the tattoo we made together and it just brings back all the good stuff and I know everything will be okay, because at the end of the day we still love each other and that won’t change over a stupid fight.” The girl gets embarrassed as soon as she realises that she just shared something that until now was only hers, making her look down at her feet. “You probably think it’s silly and that’s okay, we won’t do it if you don’t want to.” Voice quieter than before, barely audible but Seonghwa heard her just fine.

“Okay, let’s get thigh tattoos. Together.”

(y/n)’s eyes widened at the statement, and the looks of happiness and excitement of before came back to life again, making Seonghwa laugh at how adorable his friend looked.

“Really? Thank you so much Hwa!!!” she hugged his torso so tightly that he almost went out of breath.

“I have one condition though. To make it more fun, you know?” (y/n) nodded, indicating him to proceed, “I pick a design for you and you one for me, and we can only see it after it is already tattooed on our skin. What do you say?”

“Uhhh that does sound like fun! But don’t make it too big nor too dark, please!” he nodded in agreement and they went back inside to pick the said designs.

They shared their idea with the tattoo artist, who got really excited about it and took them, one at the time, into the other room to discuss their ideas and bring them to life. (y/n) picked a woman’s body silhouette, besides looking really cool it just made sense since their friendship started as something more physical than emotional. Seonghwa on the other hand chose a minimalist alien, it reminded him of when they first met and (y/n) couldn’t pronounce his name correctly and would just call him alien face, he also asked the tattoo artist to make it face her so she wouldn’t have to look into a mirror to see it properly.

(y/n) went in first to get her right thigh tattooed, so excited that she didn’t bother to take off her clothes, simply ripping her tights in the spot she wanted the tattoo.

“Hm ok, that was hot!” Seonghwa said softly, trying to control himself avoiding looking at (y/n)’s now more exposed thigh.

“Keep it in your pants, Mr. Park.” (y/n) laughed as she laid down to finally get the tattoo her dear friend picked, getting more and more anxious as the moment approached while Luna got her supplies ready. Seonghwa then pulled a chair to sit next to her and keep her distracted so she wouldn’t try to peak.

After a while, (y/n) stopped feeling the needle puncturing her skin and looked up at Luna, eyes wondering if it was already done. The other woman nodded, and she immediately stood up to see the result, a high pitch squeak leaving her lips as soon as she saw an alien facing her.

“Hwa!! I have your face on my thigh!!” her eyes wide, looking between her leg and her friend, a huge smile on her face and eyes almost tearing up at how happy she was. “I love it, I love it, I love it!” she wrapped her arms around the boy’s neck and gave him a kiss on his left cheek, squeezing him against her and holding him there for a few seconds before pulling away. “Now it’s your turn! Go, go!”

Seonghwa got up right away and started to take his pants off, making (y/n) look away.

“Please (y/n), as if you’ve never seen me naked!” he chuckled throwing his pants at her as soon as got them completely off, catching her off guard making her laugh.

They repeated the same process, now with (y/n) seated in the chair keeping Seonghwa distracted by making terrible puns and dad jokes. The needle puncturing his skin stang a bit but, just like (y/n), he already had a few tattoos, so he got used to it quickly. When Luna finished the second tattoo of this iconic duo, as she started to call them, Seonghwa couldn’t help but laugh at (y/n)’s choice.

“This will certainly remind me of you and make me hate you a little less if it comes to that.” He chuckled making (y/n) blush a bit without him noticing. “Thank you for talking me into this, it’s a memorable night for sure.” And kissed her cheek, not as roughly as she did to him, it was a soft kiss, his lips barely touching her skin, and yet it was enough to make her even more flustered, awakening funny feelings in her tummy.

After spending all that money on the tattoos, they decided it would be best for their bank accounts to walk home instead of getting an uber, making their way across town to (y/n) and Mia’s apartment in a slow pace, most of the way made in silence for they were too tired and sleepy, needing to channel all their remain energy towards their legs to be able to walk.

As they were approaching (y/n)’s building their pace slowed down, stopping right in front of the pathway, the girl already looking for the keys in her messy bag while walking towards the front door.

“See you tomorrow (y/n)” he says as they reach the door, (y/n) with the keys in hand already opening the door, and he places a kiss on her forehead not breaking the contact right away. (y/n) didn’t say anything until he was already halfway the pathway.

“Hwa, wait.”

“Huh?” the boy turned around, standing near the sidewalk.

“Why don’t you stay for the night?” she asked almost in a whisper, but Seonghwa heard it anyway and took a few steps closer to her.

“Oh (y/n), I would but I’m really tired and-”

“Just for cuddles, Hwa…” she tried to keep her eyes in his but the vulnerability her request showed made her instinctually look down at her feet.

“Just cuddles? Are you sure?” Seonghwa couldn’t hide his amusement, since (y/n) always made it clear that to her the benefits part of their friendship should be associated with sex at all times because, according to her, getting emotional and cuddle just for the sake of cuddling would turn this into a real and serious relationship, even though the boy tried to convince her otherwise multiple times.

“Shut up and get in before I change my mind.”

They went up to the apartment as quietly as possible, making their way to (y/n)’s bedroom right away and changing into more comfortable clothing, which to Seonghwa meant underwear and nothing more.

He laid on his back wrapping an arm around (y/n)’s shoulders as she laid her head onto his chest, embracing his torso and putting one leg over his. It was comfortable, warm, and felt safe, for both of them.

“This still doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship Hwa.” (y/n) groaned falling deeply into sleep.

“We could be though.” But (y/n) didn’t hear it.

♡MASTERLIST♡

net: @ateezlovenet

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather Roster Description:

(So I probably definitely forgot some things. There’s a lot of complicated matching up that went into this. But, regardless, I wanted to post it, so we’ll fix and add as we go! <3)

James Potter: (Pots, Pothead, Potty)

Position: Left Wing, First Line

Number: 7

Years In The League: 7—drafted, no college.

Previous Teams: None

Description: 25. 6’1”. Dark brown hair, hazel eyes, white. Can usually be seen wearing whatever Lily buys him. Known on the team for being a joker, but also someone you can go to for any reason. Hyper.

Nationality: American. Hometown: Boston, MA.

S/O: Girlfriend, Lily Evans.

Closest to on the team: Sirius Black and Sergei Ivanov, but basically everyone.

Rooms With: No one

Sits with on the bus/plane: Sirius Black

Lives With: Girlfriend Lily Evans

Injury: Multiple concussions

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Putting his contacts in, because he usually wears glasses, gets him really into the game mode. His favorite food is treacle tart, which he had when he took his girlfriend Lily to England—now she makes it for him on his birthday.

Favorite Moment On Team: When he told them that he and Lily were pregnant and they all celebrated.

Superstition: He has to call his girlfriend, Lily, before every game.

Warm Up Song: Eye of the Tiger

What the announcers say when he scores: “Aaaaannndd Potter is wheeling tonight!!”

~

Sirius Black: (Padfoot, Cap, Captain)

Position: Center, First Line

Number: 12

Years In The League: 6—First pick overall, no college.

Previous Teams: None

Description: 24. 6’3”. Black hair, gray eyes, white. Hair gets really fluffy in humidity and it drives him insane. Short hair, curls above his ears. Loves a good backwards hat. One of the strongest on the team.

Nationality: French-Canadian. Hometown: Montreal, Canada.

S/O: Remus Lupin—secret.

Closest to on the team: James Potter and Adam Fox and William LeBlanc

Rooms With: No One

Sits with on the bus/plane: James Potter

Lives With: No one

Injury: Badly broken ankle, one mild concussion

Puck Personality Fun Fact: He had a very hard time coming up with one, so James chose one for him. He pretends to hate the rookies, but will drop literally everything for anything they need. He’s also really bad at taking his pre-game nap.

(Pascal Dumais from the background: “He does not understand household chores!” “Shut up, Dumo!”)

Favorite Moment On Team: His first game after deciding to stand up to his mother about getting a trade. He could finally relax, and enjoy himself. When he scored the first goal, he let his teammates celebrate with him.

Superstition: There are so many. There are too many. Has to go out onto the ice last, has to have a butter and honey toasted sandwich before the game at 5:00 pm, has to do his stretches in a certain order, has to put on and sharpen his left skate first. Cannot even talk about the Cup without freaking out. Will wear the same gross hat until it literally reeks if they’re on a hot streak.

Warm Up Song: Doesn’t really have one.

What the announcers say when he scores: “Seriously!!! That is one serious goal!!” “That Black back-hander will kill a fella!”

~

Finn O’Hara: (Harzy, Fish)

Position: Right Wing

Number: 17

Years In The League: 3. Went to Harvard College.

Previous Teams: None

Description: 23. 6’0’’. Dark red hair, luscious and fluffy. White. Wavy. Light freckles. Brown eyes. Is a single eyebrow raiser. Habit of saluting. More on the slender side of muscle. Is a bit of a worry-wart. Super sarcastic.

Nationality: American. Hometown: New York, New York.

S/O: June Calder—sort of.

Closest to on the team: Logan Tremblay and Leo Knut and Olli Halla

Rooms With: Timmy Jones

Sits with on the bus/plane: Kasey Winter

Lives With: Leo Knut

Injury: Two bad concussions in college.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: He wanted it to be that he’s real fucking good in bed, but it’s that he likes eating grilled cheese with strawberry jam because his older brother, Alexander, used to make it for him all the time when they were kids.

Favorite Moment On Team: Probably that one team dinner where Blizzard got drunk and tried to swim in a fountain. Or when he found out that Logan also got drafted to the Lions the year after him.

Superstition: Has to have a grilled cheese and strawberry jam before every game. Has to tape his own sticks on the bench. Has a handshake with Logan they do before walking down the tunnel.

Warm Up Song: Hollaback Girl, Gwen Stefani

What the announcers say when he scores: “OOOOOOOO’HARA HOW DARA!! WHAT A GOAL!”

~

Timmy Jones: (Timmers)

Position: Defenseman

Number: 62

Years In The League: 10. Went to Boston University

Previous Teams: New York Islanders

Description: 31. 6’1”. Black hair, braided, reaches his shoulders and he likes to tie it up sometimes, hazel eyes. Black. One of the most popular jerseys because he’s such a crowd pleaser always riling them up and talking to fans through the glass. He’s also one of the biggest Instagram users and is always posting really funny locker room videos.

Nationality: Canadian. Vancouver, Canada.

S/O: Single

Closest to on the team: Olli Halla and William LeBlanc and Thomas Walker

Rooms With: Finn O’Hara

Lives With: Olli Halla

Sits with on the bus/plane: Olli Halla

Injury: Fractured foot a few years ago.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Kasey’s rival for best hair in the league. Famous for his crazy cellys

Favorite Moment On Team: Conference Finals! And when all the boys touch Moody’s leg for good luck.

Superstition: Has a lucky towel that no one is allowed to wash.

Warm Up Song: Where are Ü Now, Jack Ü, Skrillex, Justin Bieber

What the announcers say when he scores: Timmers strikes again!!

~

Olli Halla: (Olli)

Position: Defenseman

Number: 5

Years In The League: 10, Undrafted.

Previous Teams: Winnipeg Jets.

Description: 6’2”. 32. Very, very blonde hair, nearly white. Pale blue eyes. Cute little nose. Cannot grow a beard to save his life. Total baby-face. Is sort of shy and awkward. What a sweetheart.

Nationality: Finish. Hometown: Helsinki, Finland.

S/O: Single.

Closest to on the team: Timmy Jones and Finn O’Hara

Rooms With: Elias Cook

Lives With: Timmy Jones

Sits with on the bus/plane: Timmy Jones

Injury: Concussion, twice. A few bruised ribs.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Wins the pre-game team kick-around almost every time. Brings awareness to charities that contribute to doing research on the brain and brain injuries. 

Favorite Moment On Team: When the team welcomed him back from his pretty serious concussion (he missed nearly a year) by all wearing the number 5 out on the ice during warm ups.

Superstition: Wears his cross and says a small prayer after the national anthem. Also has to play in the kick-around.

Warm Up Song: Replay, Iyaz

What the announcers say when he scores: (G)oooooolllliiiii!

~

Brady Smith: (Smitty)

Position: Right Wing

Number: 92

Years In The League: 10. Drafted.

Previous Teams: Washington Capitals

Description: 28, 6’3”. Black hair, blue eyes. Black. The sweetest person you will ever meet in your life. Is adored by all of the hockey wives and girlfriends. Can speak Spanish and (ofc) German. Has a tattoo he has on his back shoulder blade of the Stanley Cup which he won with the Washington Capitals. The cup says his wife and two kid’s names on it with room for more—this man loves his babies.

Nationality: German. Hometown: Berlin, Germany, where his mother is from, but moved to the Boston, MA when he was 15 years old—where his father is from.

S/O: Married to his wife Allison, and they’re expecting their third child. Their first is a boy named Max, their second a boy named Noah.

Closest to on the team: Evgeni Kuznetsov and Jackson Nadeau.

Lives With: His family

Sits with on the bus/plane: Evan Kane

Rooms With: Evan Kane

Injury: Frequently separates his shoulder :(

Puck Personality Fun Fact: He’s part of the Lions’ power play. Is actually a really good tattoo artist and has inked Kris Lavolie and Evgeni Kuznetsov. He gave Kris the date of his daughter’s birth, and he gave Evgeni a tiger on his left bicep.

Favorite Moment On Team: He really loved when Sirius became Captain. He felt a shift in their team’s drive.

Superstition: Has to read the note his son wrote him a few years ago.

Warm Up Song: Anything Drake

What the announcers say when he scores: Braaaddyyy Smith! What a goal!

~

Pascal Dumais: (Dumo)

Position: Center

Number: 9

Years In The League: 24, drafted first overall.

Previous Teams: New York Rangers, Colorado Avalanche.

Description: 41. 6’1’’. Brown hair, cut pretty short but brushes up at the front or superman curl.  White. Hazel/green eyes, dark eyelashes and brows. Scruffy beard always. Is the dad of the team. Well tell anyone who asks the hilarious stories of when Sirius lived with him.

Nationality: French Canadian. Hometown: Montreal.

S/O: Celeste Dumais, wife. And four children. Adele (13), Louis (10), Marc (9), and Katie (7).

Closest to on the team: Logan Tremblay and Sergei Ivanov.

Lives With: His wife and four kids—and Logan of course.

Rooms With: No one

Sits with on the bus/plane: No one, he enjoys the peace and quiet (not that anyone gives him any)

Injury: Broken wrist. Bruised ribs. Mild concussion. Lost too many teeth to count.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: The BIGGEST prankster on the team. Loves fine wine.

Favorite Moment On Team: Whenever the crowd chants “Duuummmooooo,” or the first time Sirius smiled.

Superstition: Slaps Sergei’s ass before they walk down the tunnel. No one knows why.

Warm Up Song: Eight Days A Week by The Beatles

What the announcers say when he scores: "Pascal Dumais everybody! One of the oldest in the league—he’s still got it!”

~

Logan Tremblay: (Tremzy, [Finn: Lo])

Position: Right Wing

Number: 10

Years In The League: 2. Went to Harvard College.

Previous Teams: None.

Description: 22. 5’9’’. Dark brown hair, long enough to be wavy and always wearing a snapback. Green eyes. Light freckles. White. Always sinfully tan. Really broad and strong. Those arms and chest muscles damn. Really dark, long eyelashes. Clean shaven. Really loud, always mildly grumpy. Flirts with EVERYTHING. 

Nationality: French Canadian. Hometown: Rimouski, Quebec, Canada.

S/O: Single…..

Closest to on the team: Leo Knut, Finn O’Hara, and Pascal Dumais, Thomas Walker.

Lives With: Pascal Dumais

Rooms With: Leo Knut

Sits with on the bus/plane: Leo Knut

Injury: He broke a finger and a foot and frequently has black eyes from fights.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Has a fleur-de-lis necklace that he never takes off. Spends his summers in Nice, France where his mother is from. Bites his nails.

Favorite Moment On Team: Playing with Finn again.

Superstition: Says he isn’t superstitious but he is. Won’t touch the kick-around soccer ball before he decides to play. Has a handshake with Finn they do before walking down the tunnel.

Warm Up Song: Whatever It Takes, Imagine Dragons.

What the announcers say when he scores: “Scooorree!!! Oh, the tremble before Tremblay!”

~

Thomas Walker: (Talker, Walkie-Talkie)

Position: Defenseman —also an enforcer.

Number: 43

Years In The League: 8. University of Wisconsin.

Previous Teams: None.

Description: 30, 6’2”. Short hair, brown eyes, one of the most ripped guys on the team. Black. Pierced ears, usually small gold hoops. Takes them out for play. The Lions organization does a segment with him called Walkie-Talkie where he goes around the locker room and interviews his team mates with funny questions.

Nationality: American. Hometown: Chicago, IL.

S/O: Single

Closest to on the team: Timmy Jones and Adam Fox and Logan Tremblay.

Lives With: No one

Rooms With: Adam Fox.

Sits with on the bus/plane: Anyone who wants to CHAT.

Injury: Broken foot, some broken fingers.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: He got his nickname Talker because he never shuts up on the ice. Starts a lot of fights. 

Favorite Moment On Team: When Kasey jumped in the fountain.

Superstition: Needs to take a three minute nap between periods. He puts a towel over his head right in his stall and literally falls asleep for three minutes. (James: it’s fucking weird”)

Warm Up Song: Top hits, just needs the background noise.

What the announcers say when he scores: “Goal!!! He just walks right up there, don’t he?”

~

Sergei Ivanov: (Vans)

Position: Defenseman 

Number: 55

Years In The League: 23, Drafted, no college.

Previous Teams: Pittsburgh Penguins, Colorado Avalanche, Vegas Golden Knights.

Description: 40. 5’11”. Light brown-gray hair—was blonde, losing it at the front a little.  White. Really stern blue eyes that transform and crinkle when he smiles (but it’s hard to get a real smile out of him, and the boys feel really accomplished when they do).

Nationality: Russian. Hometown: Omsk.

S/O: Anya. They have three daughters: Aleandra (10), Evenlina (8), and Katya (7).

Closest to on the team: Kris Lavolie and Pascal Dumais and James Potter

Lives With: His wife and children.

Rooms With: No one.

Sits with on the bus/plane: Kris Lavolie.

Injury: Shoulder injury

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Loves classical music

Favorite Moment On Team: One of his daughters was born the same night he got his first hat-trick. Some of the team came to the hospital with him.

Superstition: Stops at a Church on his way to the rink everyday for a few quiet moments.

Warm Up Song: He doesn’t have one, he prefers to talk to everyone instead.

What the announcers say when he scores: SERGEI SCORES!

~

Jackson Nadeau: (Nado)

Position: Left Wing

Number: 58

Years In The League: 8. Went to College but didn’t finish.

Previous Teams: Chicago Blackhawks 

Description: 26, 6’0”. Dark brown hair, chin length and straight, blue eyes. White. Is very laid back and a big flirt. Has cheek bones that could kill and a very stark scar running down one of them from a skate in the face.

Nationality: French Canadian. Victoria, Canada.

S/O: Single

Closest to on the team: Evgeni Kuznetsov and Brady Smith

Lives With: Evgeni Kuznetsov

Rooms With: Evgeni Kuznetsov

Sits with on the bus/plane: Evgeni Kuznetsov

Injury: Skate to the face, other minor things.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Rival with Evgeni for most pick ups on the team. Has many tattoos—one full sleeve, working on the other.

Favorite Moment On Team: Probably when Evgeni got traded, he found his best friend.

Superstition: Has a handshake with Evgeni.

Warm Up Song: He won’t tell you up front but Hamilton.

What the announcers say when he scores: Rapidly repeating “Nadeau, Nadeau, Nadeau!!!”

~

Evgeni Kuznetsov: (Kuny)

Position: Center. Enforcer.

Number: 86

Years In The League: 10. Drafted.

Previous Teams: Anaheim Ducks, Calgary Flames, Buffalo Sabres.

Description: 27. 6’4”. Short cropped light brown hair and puppy-dog brown eyes. Has a slightly chipped front left tooth. White. Very heavy Russian accent, doesn’t speak perfect English and uses this fact to get out of interviews. Is very charming. Literally a giant.

Nationality: Russian. Magnitogorsk, Russia. 

S/O: Single and ready to mingle—or already does mingle. Excessively.

Closest to on the team: Brady Smith and Jackson Nadeau

Lives With: Jackson Nadeau 

Rooms With: Jackson Nadeau

Sits with on the bus/plane: Jackson Nadeau

Injury: Had to have knee surgery.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Will tell you he has the most pick-ups on the team, but it might be Nado. He’s always making jokes in Russian that basically only Sergei and Henrik can understand and Sergei just rolls his eyes while Henrik laughs.

Favorite Moment On Team: He loves team dinners, just hanging out with the guys.

Superstition: Has a handshake with Jackson.

Warm Up Song: BLASTS Russian rap.

What the announcers say when he scores: THE RUSSIAN BEAR STRIKES AGAIN!

~

Evan Kane: (Kaner)

Position: Right Wing

Number: 51

Years In The League: Two. Went to College at Boston University.

Previous Teams: Calgary Flames.

Description: 23. 5’11”. Tan skin with freckles and brown eyes, black, short hair. Hispanic. Super strong and holds lots of team workout records. The brightest smile. Eyebrows on point. Loves to read, was an English major at school.

Nationality: American. Hometown: Boston, MA.

S/O: His girlfriend, Caroline Hall.

Closest to on the team: Brady Smith and Elias Cook, and Leo Knut

Lives With: His girlfriend.

Rooms With: Brady Smith

Sits with on the bus/plane: Brady Smith

Injury: Nothing major up to date.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Wicked fast. One of the fastest in the League.

Favorite Moment On Team: Probably meeting Pascal Dumais. He’s looked up to his playing style for a long time.

Superstition: Tapes his own sticks, sharpens his own skates.

Warm Up Song: Eminem

What the announcers say when he scores: “Yes he Kane!!!”

~

Adam Fox: (Foxy, Sexy)

Position: Defenseman

Number: 32.

Years In The League: 19. Drafted.

Previous Teams: New York Islanders.

Description: 36. 6’2”. White. Light brown hair that pushes up at the front and is shaved close at the sides. Blue eyes that will kill you. 

Nationality: American. Hometown: Boston, MA. 

S/O: Girlfriend, Lucìa Perez.

Closest to on the team: Thomas Walker and Sirius Black

Lives With: His girlfriend.

Rooms With: Thomas Walker

Sits with on the bus/plane: Elias Cook

Injury: Nothing too serious.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Is constantly made fun of for being the prettiest. Ever.

Favorite Moment On Team: Bringing his girlfriend to her first game.

Superstition: Stretches in a certain order.

Warm Up Song: They boys will tell you it’s SexyBack but it’s actually just heavy metal.

What the announcers say when he scores: “A foxy goal!!”

~

Henrik Sunqvist: (Sunny, Sunshine)

Position: Defenseman

Number: 33

Years In The League: 10. Played in the Swedish league for a while.

Previous Teams: None in the NHL.

Description: 39. 5’11”. Blond hair, cut short, pale blue eyes, white. Warmest smile you’ve ever seen. 

Nationality: Swedish. Hometown: Uppsala.

S/O: Linnea Sunqvist, his wife and their daughter and son, Maja (10) and Hugo (11).

Closest to on the team: Evander Bell

Lives With: His wife and family.

Rooms With: No one

Sits with on the bus/plane: Likes to sit alone with a nice audiobook sometimes.

Injury: Nothing major, a few minor concussions

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Almost never fights, but when he does…ouch. Can speak French and Russian.

Favorite Moment On Team: When he gets to morning practice and has coffee with the boys.

Superstition: Has to do a few somersaults in the locker room—we don’t know why.

Warm Up Song: Russian rap—no one knows why/how he knows Russian so well.

What the announcers say when he scores: “The sun is shining on Sunqvist!"

~

Elias Cook: (Cookie, Crock-pot) 

Position: Left Wing

Number: 29

Years In The League: 7. Drafted.

Previous Teams: Toronto Maple Leafs

Description: 25. 5’11”. Hazel eyes, Black hair, baby curls so cute we love the curls. 

Nationality: Canadian. Toronto.

S/O: Fiancee, Jamie Barrow.

Closest to on the team: Kasey Winter

Lives With: Jamie.

Rooms With: Olli Halla

Sits with on the bus/plane: Adam Fox

Injury:

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Loves spicy food. Once made Sirius cry by daring him to eat some really spicy dish.

Favorite Moment On Team: Listening to ABBA in the locker room.

Superstition: Does a few laps around the hallways. The press love to try to catch him for interviews while he’s doing this.

Warm Up Song: iSpy, KYLE and Lil Yachty

What the announcers say when he scores: “The stove is HOT for Cook tonight!”

~

William LeBlanc: (Bluey)

Position: Center

Number: 44

Years In The League: 3. Drafted.

Previous Teams: SKA Saint Petersburg.

Description: 24 6′1″. Brown hair, wavy, green eyes. White. Goes to Russia during his summers.

Nationality: French Canadian. Sherbrooke. 

S/O: Single

Closest to on the team: Tyler Wright, Sirius Black.

Lives With: No one

Rooms With: Kris Lavolie

Sits with on the bus/plane: Tyler Wright

Injury: Concussion.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Never learned Russian well, despite playing in the KHL. 

Favorite Moment On Team: When Kasey jumped in the fountain.

Superstition: Has to touch all the boys’ names above their stalls

Warm Up Song: Russian rap.

What the announcers say when he scores: LeGOALLLLL

~

Evander Bell: (Ringer)

Position: Right Wing

Number: 21

Years In The League: 15. Drafted.

Previous Teams: Bruins, Red Wings.

Description: 33. 6’3”. Sandy blond hair and brown eyes. White. Pretty shy, but really kind. Laughs really loudly which then makes himself blush.

Nationality: American. Hometown: L.A.

S/O: His fiancee, Emily.

Closest to on the team: Henrik Sunqvist

Lives With: Emily and his son, Xavier.

Rooms With: None

Sits with on the bus/plane: Likes to sit alone, besides joining the card game.

Injury: Broken wrist.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Can play the guitar and the piano. Is one of the team’s biggest You Can Play ambassadors (Pascal and Sergei are the other two most active). Always goes to the Gryffindor pride parade.

Favorite Moment On Team: The entire locker room singing We Are Never Getting Back Together. Beginning to see hearts on the glass at the team’s You Can Play Night.

Superstition: Wears the same hat and socks. 

Warm Up Song: Taylor Swift. 

What the announcers say when he scores: “A dead Ringer from Evander Bell!”

~

Kris Lavolie: (Volley)

Position: Defenseman

Number: 11

Years In The League: 3. Went to University of Michigan.

Previous Teams: None.

Description: 24, 6’1”. Dark hair that’s straight and falls to about his chin, brown eyes. White. Broadly built. Kind and a really good listener.

Nationality: French Canadian. Hometown: Quebec City.

S/O: Single

Closest to on the team: Sergei Ivanov

Lives With: His daughter, Aveline.

Rooms With: William LeBlanc

Sits with on the bus/plane: Sergei Ivanov

Injury: Broken rib.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Kris is a single dad. One of his best friends, Lee, she takes care of his baby girl who is four now while he’s on the road. Sometimes she gets to go stay with Sergei’s family, too. Sergei helps him so much, and he’s thankful for him <3. His daughter’s name is Aveline and he will do ANYTHING for her.

Favorite Moment On Team: Taking his daughter to the Lions’ family skate for the first time.

Superstition: Talk to/call his daughter before every game.

Warm Up Song: XO, Beyoncé

What the announcers say when he scores: “La gooaaaaallll by Lavolie!!”

~

Tyler Wright: (Wrangler)

Position: Defenseman

Number: 8

Years In The League: 

Previous Teams:

Description: 27. 6’2”. Hair that is shoulder length, really dark brown. Blue eyes. Square jaw. Has a bit of a temper on the ice, but is a sweetheart otherwise. Ironically doesn’t like fighting.

Nationality: American. Hometown: Minnesota, Minneapolis.

S/O: His girlfriend, Elsa, who lives in Sweden and is a professional football/soccer player.

Closest to on the team: William LeBlanc

Lives With: No one

Rooms With: No one

Sits with on the bus/plane: William LeBlanc

Injury: Nothing serious.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Has four dachshunds named Puck, Deke, Gordie, and Stanley.

Favorite Moment On Team: Like many, when Kasey jumped into that fountain. “It was just so fuckin’ out of character, you know?”

Superstition: Has to participate in the kick around, and has to kick the ball last with his right foot.

Warm Up Song: Royals, Lorde.

What the announcers say when he scores: “Wright in the net!”

~

Kasey Winter: (Kase, Blizzard)

Position: Goalie

Number: 30

Years In The League: 8 years. Drafted, no college.

Previous Teams: New York Rangers.

Description: 26. 6’2’’. Light brown hair down to his shoulders. Known for being the most beautiful hair in the league. Softest brown eyes that psych shooters out. Grows a really gorgeous beard whenever the fuck he wants. 

Nationality: Canadian. Home town: Ontario, Canada.

S/O: Girlfriend, Natalie Darcy

Closest to on the team: Elias Cook and Kris Lavolie

Lives With: His girlfriend, Natalie.

Rooms With: No one.

Sits with on the bus/plane: Finn O’Hara

Injury: Torn hamstring.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Will have his girlfriend braid his hair for practice sometimes. (“You can say what you want, but keeps it out of my face. Good old boxer braids. It’s where it’s at.”)

Favorite Moment On Team: When the team got to the Conference Finals seven years ago.

Superstition: Has to do stretches in a certain order.

Warm Up Song: Wasabi by Little Mix (Thanks, Natalie)

What the announcers say when he makes a safe: “The Blizzard is blinding!” “It’s a squall!”

~

Leo Knut: (Nut, Knutty, Peanut, Peanut-butter)

Position: Goalie

Number: 1

Years In The League: His rookie season, so almost one. No college.

Previous Teams: None.

Description: 18. 6’3’’. Dark blond Hair, pretty wavy and falls over his forehead. Blue eyes. Button nose. Blond eyelashes. Cannot grow a beard to save his life.

Nationality: American. Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana.

S/O: None….;)

Closest to on the team: Logan Tremblay and Finn O’Hara and Evan Kane

Lives With: Finn O’Hara

Rooms With: Logan Tremblay

Sits with on the bus/plane: Logan Tremblay

Injury: Nothing major.

Puck Personality Fun Fact: Has a small gray-streaked patch of hair by the front of his head from hitting his head really hard when he was little.

Favorite Moment On Team: Well, the first moment he felt most at home was when the rest of the boys started imitating his accent. Logan is the worst at it, but he does it the most.

Superstition: Not very superstitious…yet.

Warm Up Song: Violet, Bad Suns and Love On Top by Beyoncé

What the announcers say when he saves a puck: “Another nuts save for Knut!” “We’re nuts about Knut!” “Right in the nuts!”

[jikookuntold]

Jungkook Being Open about Himself

TW: This is a heavy analysis and contains deep theories and some conspiracy theories. If you don’t feel comfortable about gender and sexual orientation discussions, this post is not for you. I’m not going to talk about any ship in this post, it’s all about Jungkook and the image this fandom made of him.

Enough talking let’s get the bread!

The Wrong Image

After spending almost three years on ARMY-Twitter and other apps like YouTube or Instagram, I came to the conclusion that the majority of this fandom has this image of a masculine, bad boy, cold-hearted heterosexual Jungkook in their minds, something we can even consider as toxic masculinity. But is it true? Is this what he has tried to show us all these years? We can’t deny the fact that he wants to look mature and he doesn’t like to be called a baby, he made this clear many times despite doing some aegyo for the sake of ARMY’s satisfaction but his masculine and feminine sides are another story.

Masculine or Feminine?

Wearing makeup or jewelry on stage for an artist, can’t be considered as a feminine attitude but when someone does this on daily basis and recommends forgetting about the gender stereotypes it mean they don’t care about gender and “Not Caring about Gender” is a feminine attitude. Jungkook buys his clothes from local gender-neutral brands, he likes makeup and he’s called himself pretty many times. He said the great style is wearing what you want regardless of gender.

In Feb 2021 Elle Korea wrote: “Most of Jungkook's favorite fragrance products have sweet & lovely scents regarded feminine.” He is a sensitive and emotional person and he cries very easily. There are so many discussions about feminine body-language signs which all do apply on him but I don’t discuss them here because they are mostly not deterministic. Anyways, can we all agree getting tattoos or being buff doesn’t make you masculine? Jeon Jungkook has embraced his feminine side and he is far from toxic masculine qualities inside and out.

Sexual Direction?

I’m not in a position to discuss someone’s sexual orientation when they haven’t talked about it themselves but it surprises me how the majority of this fandom is so sure about Jungkook being heterosexual. In my opinion, this mindset comes from the image of him being super-masculine and being associated with girls in the early years after debut. We all know he had one (or two?) girlfriends before the age of 17 and he actually was open about it. In American Hustle Life he talked about how at some point he felt dating and not dating that girl doesn’t make any difference for him and he believes all girls are the same.

We all know how this industry works and idols never open up about their relationships, especially at such young age but Jungkook wasn’t hesitant, despite being a shy and introverted person. I’m not claiming to know him but I know him enough to believe what he says is the truth. This man never lies, maybe he won’t disclose every aspect of his life but when he speaks up he is telling the truth and nothing else. He could deny or ignore those dating rumors of early debut years but he wasn’t afraid of confirming them and showing his real self.

While I’m speaking about American Hustle Life, I should refer to another thing related to the topic. (I personally believe this AHS had such a big impact on all the members’ growth and not just Jungkook) When Jungkook was chilling near the pool with Yoongi, he told him about a woman he saw there who had a big tattoo on his back and he said he wants to get a tattoo. Yoongi believed this act will disappoint ARMY but Jungkook didn’t agree and said: “If they love us, they won’t mind.” Jungkook wants to be himself and shows his real self to us and believes if our love for him is real we would accept him as the way he is.

In my opinion, somewhere around Jungkook's 17th birthday something changed in him. This change has started earlier but at this period (Danger Era), it became more detectable. I'm not saying that he wasn't like this before, on the contrary, he was always like this, he was born with it but fully acknowledging it and embracing it took time for him. None of us had known or accepted ourselves in our teenage years and we tried and pushed lots of things to find our true nature. I believe the same happened for Jungkook and it was way harder for him because of the situation he was in.

Anyways, in late 2014 and especially 2015, the changes in his attitudes and manners were too visible to stay unnoticed by ARMY (I have to declare skinship and fanservice for the cameras are not my point, In this post, I have tried to draw a line between his work as an idol and his life as a person and my emphasis is on the latter part). He started to suggest openly gay artists’ works in his tweets. He even did cover those songs and used them for his G.C.F videos. If you have read the lyrics of the songs he suggests, covers, or uses for his works, you’d notice that all the pronouns are gender-neutral or male (he). The most interesting thing was when he eliminated the word "girl" from the lyrics of Savage Love but didn't do anything with the f word. He has used LGBTQ+ symbols several times, He has read gay novels, He named his flower bouquet “Various types of love” Now think about it again; does it make sense to consider him as a heterosexual?

Rumors...

Most of you know about the incidents when BTS had their short break in the summer of 2019. Jungkook started to get tattoos and when he was on a trip, two pictures of him got leaked and rumors of Jungkook and a girl (I'm going to call her person B) went viral. I'm not going to analyze those pictures or the rumors because BigHit’s statement did seal the deal for me, I knew Jungkook wouldn't lie or hide anything about it. If he had dated that girl or anyone else it was his business and when he denied it, I was 100% sure he is telling the truth but apparently it wasn't the case for the others. The pictures weren’t showing anything intimate or controversial, but since it was a boy/girl interaction they made a huge deal of it (Remember in a heteronormative world, boys and girls can’t be just friends!) The rumors haven’t died down after almost two years and they are using this to keep their fantasies of heterosexual Jungkook alive.

As someone familiar with this industry for more than a decade, I know they can’t let any of the popular fantasies to die, no matter it’s the fantasy of gay shippers or straight shipper or Y/N’s, no one has to be disappointed. Fantasy of Jungkook being straight was dying down in the middle of 2019. But how did that happen? Of course, any ship moments or interaction between members never been taken seriously. It would be interesting if you know the situation became serious just a few days before the person B incident. That day, an insulting and homophobic private conversation from one of the most infamous fansites of Jungkook got leaked and it almost outed him as someone who isn’t in the hetero world.

When ARMY called out this fansite for her toxic behavior and insult towards Jungkook, she threatened them to ruin his life and we knew she could do that because she had ruined other idols’ lives before that. Just one week after that the person B incident happened and the news of Jungkook having a girlfriend went viral. I’m aware the whole situation could be a coincidence but the timing of the events and many other facts prove it was a conspiracy to frame Jungkook and ruin his image and beside that, many people benefited from it.

Person B acted as shady as she could in this situation but I'm not going to go there because this post has become long enough already. Firstly we thought she is a victim of this conspiracy and pitied her but her subsequent acts proved otherwise. She did benefit from these rumors much more than anyone expected and did everything to stay on the top news.

Enough talking of person B, let’s speak about the fansite lady. Her actions were terrible enough to get blacklisted by BigHit but surprisingly she didn't and after that, she took part in Japan fan-meetings, Melon, and Mama (or other programs I’m not aware of) until the COVID19 made everything canceled. Many people know she is more of a saesang than a fansite, and saesangs have a close community and they know each other very well. On the other side, we know many companies hire saesangs for their idols to find out about their private lives and have more control on them without being strict. And this is why I believe BigHit can be the mastermind behind all of this.  

Why am I so pessimistic about BigHit? Think about the statement they made to deny the rumors, I know this statement was made with Jungkook's permission but he didn't write it himself obviously and the wording wasn't the wisest. We heard months later from the guesthouse manager that Jungkook went there with his own manager but they didn't even mention it in the statement. Why? Let’s not forget the worst, when they made him apologize in the last episode of BV4. That was unnecessary either and brought back everything to the surface when it was about to die down. I know they support the members and they try to protect them in every way but that statement always makes me think of them as a shady and hypocritical company like any other company in Kpop. I know BigHit benefited from these rumors and I think BHxFansitexSaesang collab is a possible scenario.

What did Jungkook do after all of these incidents? Obviously, he had no choice other than to accept his fate but the fact is we failed him as fans. He loved and trusted us from the bottom of his heart, he showed his true self to us, he gave us lots of hints about himself but the moment he sat next to a girl, everyone forgot everything. We disappointed him and he came to the conclusion that no matter what he does, the fans will think what they want to think.

If you were patient enough to reach this far in this post I’m gonna salute you but you probably think I’m delusional and went too far in my theories (I had the TW at the beginning of the post and I had to get all this off my chest lol) but for the last thing I’m going to quote and analyze something Jungkook mentioned in JHope’s Vlive after the release of CNS.

“I never thought I would fall for a man”

This was his very first public appearance of Jungkook after the person B incident and managing to say these words in this situation was definitely meaningful and remarkably wise. What did he mean by this? Did he have to state he never thinks he can be gay at the exact time when the rumors of him being with a girl were breaking the internet? No, it doesn’t make sense at all. In fact, it was the exact opposite, he said that to make it more clear and chastise us for not getting him all these year. His face was very expressive while saying this and considering their conversation topic (watching JHope’s dance) I believe he had this statement ready for days and he left it to us to understand him or ignore him again.

The End.  

[some-dr-writings]

Gundham x tattoo artist Reader

·       It was a day like any other when Gundham strolled into your life. You didn’t think much of it, he was simply one of your customers. He didn’t ask for much either just a simple design on his back, between the shoulder blades. There was just one… issue you guessed one would call it. He was a bit apprehensive for you to touch him, despite that being very necessary for the process. Strange since he didn’t seem to not like needle, just human touch. “I’ll be wearing gloves through the whole process, just standard protocol.” That somehow eased him a bit, but… that interaction stuck with you, even after your work was done. He was very pleased with your work… you thought at least. He was smiling as he spoke those… words? He had a very flowery vocabulary that went straight over your head at times, especially when he became excited.

·       After that you simply went about your life. You had actually completely forgotten about him till as you were exiting your workplace one wintery day. You sighed, watching your frozen breath drifting away, smiling to yourself, recalling those long gone days where you and your friends fancied yourselves as dragons, smoke wasting from your nostrils preparing to unleash a burst of flames from your mouth to warm yourself and the frosty world around you. Was that where your love of dragons came from you wondered. You dug your hands into the pockets of your coat, your gloves not being enough to keep them from freezing. Letting out a huff you watched your breath, wishing you truly could breathe fire like you had drawn so many times over as a child of your dragonsona… rather embarrassing times to recall. As your cheeks steadily darkened that bright apple red due to the memories instead of the cold as most would assume, you didn’t notice that dark cloaked figure approach you. “So it seem I’ve caught you just in time.” “Huh? Oh, it’s you. Hello. I assume you want another tattoo?” “Greetings, and your intuition is correct, I wish to seek thy aid in concentrating my power in this form, increasing my astral level. Your last talisman has done wonders and only one with as high a skill level as you may even come close to accomplishing that which I seek.” “astral… Uh… I’m on break right now, you can talk with Troy, they just started their shift and I think they’re open right now.” “What!? I scoff at such a statement! Are your ears clogged by this ice that’s consumed the land? I had stated before, did I not, that only one of your skill may take up this task?” “Still? Well, Troy is new but they’re talented, I can assure that you’re in good hands… Uh, that is what you’re upset about, right?” “Are you mocking me!?” “No? I’m just… having a hard time understand you, but I’m trying my best.” No, not that! Sending me off to seek out another in your stead.” “… You… only want me to work on you?” With his arms crossed he closed his eyes, giving you a single curt nod. “Indeed.” “… Buy me lunch.” Before Gundham could respond you started walking away. “Excuse me!?” “You’re using up my break time which is short. Buy me lunch and we can discuss what you’d like during my break so we can get straight to business when my break ends.” “Hmm.” After a moment Gundham trotted up to you, silently agreeing to this.

·       “Animals?” “Indeed, do you believe you can complete such a task?” “Well…” Resting your chin on your propped-up hand you mulled it over, slowly munching on our lunch. “Yeah, I’ve done animals before. I specialize with scaled or feathered critters though. I mean I an do fur well, but I certainly have more practice with the other two.” “That I can see, your fondness for such creatures is imprinted into your being.” You smiled, looking to your sleeve tattoo with a snakelike dragon predominantly on it. “Yeah, kinda obvious, I guess. Hell, drawing those guys so much is why I pursued this path in the first place. Being payed to draw what I love most in a rather permanent form sounded nice to me.” You caught how Gundham’s eyes seemed to sparkle at that. “I even have some friends at home. A python and a pair of macaws. Ah, the stories I can conjure up of those three troublemakers.” You lightly chuckled, shaking your head recalling the many messes they managed to get themselves into. “Oh go on, I’d love to hear of such tales.” “Maybe on our next date, we really need to get back to business now.” You were desperate to repress your laughter seeing how Gundham instantly grew flustered, his pale skin igniting in those bright red hues. “I jest, I jest, but we do need to talk business though. A small spot between your shoulder blades is one thing, a full sleeve is another, but the rest of your back would take a long time, many sessions along with time for your skin to heal, I also have other customers which could cause delays so, if you’re willing to be patient, I could get it done.”

·       And so Gundham would regularly come for his scheduled appointments. You quickly began to look forward to these days, over time you figured out how to translate his vernacular and you had rather fun chats with him. Eventually you ended up spending time together outside of work, first inviting him out for dinner after your shift which turned into visiting one another places, adoring their animal companions. Quickly you were just together. A mutual understanding that wasn’t explicated stated. Even after his tattoos were finished the pair of you discussed at length to adding more to it, maybe getting you some with similar elements.

·       You also rather liked how Gundham could rope his friends into getting tattoos from you. He’d gladly show them off if others asked, but especially for his high school classmates, his only human friend group it seemed. You never thought you’d get to ink a princess, but Gundham easily got that unfathomable dream to come true. He also was rather fond of showing you off to his friends, going on and on about you, your talent, animal companions, how extraordinary you were at drawing out other’s inner power! You were rather calm and chill most everyone but one person you were a bit… on edge around was Fuyuhiko. It was nothing he did, it was just what he represented. You rather despised the stigmatism that only gang members like he got tattoos, people like him gave your art and profession a bad name, even being banned from some places if you had tattoos, no matter who you were. It didn’t help that Fuyuhiko got work for the Kuzuryu clan for you, but… he was a nice guy. You liked him but didn’t care for what his predecessors had done.

·       Gundham’s friends were certainly a colorful bunch and welcomed you with open arms.

·       Despite Gundham being perfectly fine with you sticking ink into his skin he was still apprehensive to touch. This especially so with strangers who wanted to be rather touchy of his tattooed arm. You’d often have to calm Gundham or tell off the strangers before they touched him. Each time you did so Gundham would heartfully thank you. At first the only touch your Overlord of Ice was alright with was you laying your hands upon your work, “What you’ve given me, it is like eternal contact, your power is imbued there, and with such a concentration of power you are safe from my own.” You didn’t truly know the extent of those words till you started noticing a habit of his. Whenever he was uncomfortable or upset, he’d gently rub his sleeve tattoo. “W-why, I do so?” A blush would flair across his face as his demeanor turned sheepish, tenderly holding his tattooed arm. “You’ve left an eternal mark upon my being. No matter where or when, you are with me, I may a fragment of your embrace even when, I, myself is yet prepared for such connection… I… I thank you so much for your understand on this matter, how you’ve always respected it.”

·       Gundham always served as your muse when you needed inspiration when drawing or making new designs. You adored watching him interacting with animals, how he so earnestly smiled in that way only he could that melted our heart each and every time. Everything abut him was just so captivating to you. You also loved how you’d catch Gundham not so covertly looking your shoulder, curious as to what shape you were forming with those misshapen lines.

·       The pair of your adored one another. You happily gave Gundham more tattoos while he helped you figure out what you wanted for yourself next. You both were amazing for one another, always serving as inspiration for the other. You both loved one another, wanting to help the other in whatever they pursued. Neither of you could want for another.

[thatpinkbetch]

Bkdk Fic Rec

I’ve been inspired to write a fic rec! This one goes out to you @lonely-rabbit

At like, the end of 2018 and the beginning of 2019 I stayed up until 4am every night reading fics, and because I’m such a loser, I made a word doc to keep track of all of them so I wouldn’t forget them.... I tried organizing it by length but it got messy cause I’m ridiculous and cluttered, so sorry! (I’ll save my own for the end alskdjflsdkfj gotta self promote you know). This is going to get...really long, so I’ll put it under a read more! Also, just a heads up, these are all on ao3, in case that’s important to anyone!

Disclaimer: Any fics with mature or explicit content I will add a bolded warning for, even if it’s only a little bit. Normally most fics will be tagged as such, but some fics that are rated as teen I’ve found to be more suggestive than some of those rated as mature, so I will try to point it out where it feels necessary, for anyone who wishes to avoid it.

Fics under 1k:

Illuminate by TheQueen (269 words)

Summary: Bakugou watches the first firework launch and fights to keep his face neutral

Very short, plot is about a case of amnesia, also very cute and well written for that length! Not angsty at all imo

sweaty hands holding secrets - shounentwink (563 words)

Summary: Someone said Midoriya holds secrets in his hair.

It’s not true: He holds it tightly in his hands. Bakugou’s seen it.

I really like this writer! You’ll see quite a bit of them in this post alkdsjfalskdjf

Fics 1k - 10k:

Many sunflowers later - Jeka (2395 words)

Summary: Scholar Midoriya Izuku comes back to the person he left behind after his journey through the kingdom, the mighty dragon clan leader Bakugou Katsuki.

Day 1 of Twin Stars Week 2020: Fantasy AU.

First of all, fantasy au!!! Second of all, jeka!!! (I need to read more of your stuff!!) Anyways, so cute, such lovely, pretty writing, wonderful story telling, and they’re so in love TT_TT

Boom Badoom Boom - warschach (3429 words)

Summary: Izuku's working the kissing booth at the school fair, it just so happens Katsuki has been crushing on him since the first grade.

“Did you—“ Izuku parted his mouth with no sound leaving it, “Did you pay?”

“Yea.”

“For a kiss?”

This one’s a little silly but I love it still. It’s got a “kids in the 80′s over summer vacation” vibe, I think. I love warschach! I should read more of their writing... They have SUCH good bakudeku content! *It’s rated teen but there’s some suggestive content, just a heads up!

Hopeless Ramen-tic - lalazee (7155 words)

Summary:  Midoriya is a cute guy who works at a ramen stall and Bakugou is thirsty as hell, but has to hide it by being an asshat. Another love story.

Ah, so good TT_TT so much sass, such good plot development and story telling for a simple concept *It’s rated as teen but again, it can be suggestive at times!

I’ll share this with you, so leave it behind - yabakuboi (3508 words)

Suammry: For the sake of the story, All Might is never in need of a successor, and, when Izuku saves Katsuki from the sludge monster, encourages young Midoriya down a different path. Thus, Katsuki and Izuku part ways after junior high, as Katsuki enters U.A. and the Midoriyas move overseas. It’s later that Katsuki realizes that there’s something missing, that he drove that something away.

Years after, Katsuki finds him in the last place he looks, in the cereal aisle at the local grocery store of their childhood neighborhood.

So soft, so sweet, so good if you just want to curl up in a comfy blanket and drink hot cocoa and feel warm and cozy and a little in love

The Secret Deku Box - yabakuboi (2241 words)

Summary: “Y’know, Bakugou never, ever talks about girls,” Kaminari says, his voice thoughtful.

“And I wonder why that is.” Ashido rolls her eyes.

“I’m just curious!” Kaminari whines. Kirishima drags the box out, unlabeled and unassuming, the lid not even fully clasped over the edges. “The guy has to— Whoa, what’s that?”

Kirishima realizes a little belatedly that this is a serious breach of privacy, and Bakugou will actually murder all of them. “Nothing!” he cries, attempting to shove it back under the bed, but Ashido snatches it away.

“Please be his porn stash!” Kaminari whispers as she whips the lid off.

Cute, funny, in canon, in character, and a must read I would say! 

daisy bunches and heather branches - halcyonwhispers (5862 words)

Summary:  izuku falls in love with the foul-mouthed tattoo artist next door.

Not another flower/tattoo shop au.... aldskjflaskdjfd Okay but punk!Bakugou is ALWAYS a smart move imo

the best part of me (is the worst I can give) - halcyonwhispers (5668)

Summary: Whole sentences usually make up people’s Words, but Katsuki got stuck with a name instead.

Izuku’s name.

I am such a sucker for soulmate aus when it comes to these boys TT_TT *There is some mature content, just a heads up!

Hard to Say - halcyonwhispers (8390 words)

Summary: Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

I am ALSO a sucker for fantasy/mythical creatures au and I LOVED this one - Bakugou absolutely unable to handle how cute Midoriya is? Perfection - but it’s unfinished, and I don’t think it ever will be continued, unfortunately TT_TT

lots to unpack (throw away the whole suitcase) - shounentwink (4315 words)

Summary: “How’d you know?” Midoriya asks.

There’s a hunch to his shoulders that wasn’t there three hours ago. Freckled shoulders are kissed sunburnt and red: he looks like someone ran him over and left him like roadkill in the sunlight. Bakugou’s working with insurance today, but he could see the sparks of green lightning even from his elevated position in their shared agency. Midoriya’s holding his thumb, cracking it over and over — it looks like he’s rubbed it raw.

“Dunno,” Bakugou says. “Maybe you’re just easy to read, nerd.”

I love this one so much, it was one of the first ones I read, it’s so good, and it’s another that really affected how I view their relationship! Idk this one just hit for me

hang the moon from us (it’s a no from me) - shounentwink (1200 words)

Summary: Midoriya’s gonna get sick of Bakugou one of these days, and then the whole ruse will be over, and the balance of power will tilt beyond salvation, but that day isn’t today and it looks like Bakugou knows it.

What an asshole.

Once again, I’m a sucker for the fantasy au... But even more, the diction, the details, the imagery...it’s absolutely all stunning here. I wish I could write this pretty

In Which Bakugou Finds His One Tru Luv - Erina (5862 words) This is the first one of a series called The Misadventures of Explodo-kill Agency!

Summary:  Welcome to the Explodo-kill agency! We can destroy your buildings, crash your cars, and help you solve one of the seven mysteries in life: who is Bakugou Katsuki's mysterious boyfriend?!

I’ll admit I’ve only read the first three but by god they are the funniest fics I’ve ever read in my life. I see that Erina has added more since the last time I checked it out! Tbh I was only interested in reading the purely bakudeku ones... (My favorite was the second one!! SO funny and cute!)

i still do - raeryn (9646 words)

Summary:  He’s losing him to pieces, but Izuku still tries to make them count. In which a battle leaves Bakugou Katsuki with amnesia, and Izuku finds himself picking up the pieces.

So, this one makes me cry. TT_TT

One Thing Straight - winningshot (9899 words)

Summary: They totally aren't.

Hints of their relationship is found in all of their friends’ social media accounts, but majority of their fans still think that Katsuki and Izuku are in relationships with anybody but each other.

It was amusing up until it became sad.

Lmao it’s a little salty but I guess I can be too. This is a social media fic! There’s multiple ships in this one, too

A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8472 words)

Summary: Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

Okay kewltie is SO GOOD and very creative! The formatting is phenomenal, it’s like you’re actually experiencing a social media melt down in real time lol

be my good luck charm - writedeku (6785 words)

Summary: See, the thing is, Midoriya Izuku had been born with a curse. It’s not a curse that’s particularly visible. He doesn’t have horns, or a tortured face, and it’s not the kind of silly curse like a friend of his had way down south in Diagnor, wherein the girl had been born without the ability to say the word duck. Midoriya Izuku is just extremely unlucky.

(Or the AU in which Izuku's the world's unluckiest travelling merchant, and Katsuki is someone who may be able to help him. For a price, that is.)

Oh I adore this one! It’s so cute and such a good narrative! Nice and warm, and Bakugou trying his damnedest to be suave, and it somehow working because Midoriya is just as flustered. *Another one rated as teen but some suggestive content.

Smells Like Victory - majjale (2377 words)

Summary: Bakugou takes two steps into the room and stops, clapping a hand over his nose. “Ugh, what stinks like Deku in here?”

"Good afternoon, Bakugou. That would be the amortentia."

I must admit, not a fan of HP, but majjale...TT_TT majjale writes these two boys so well. This one is really, really good!

Cherish Me - Justaperson1718 (2376 words)

Summary: “What?”

Izuku looked back down at his menu and flipped the page, a small smile on his face. “Nothing.”

Katsuki glared at Izuku from across the table. “If it was nothing then you wouldn’t be staring at me.”

“It’s just a little funny watching you try to look your best for our date when you always look great anyway,” Izuku explained. He wouldn’t look up from his menu while he spoke, but his words remained ingrained with confidence nevertheless. He considered what he was saying to be fact, and nothing else. “Even when you’re not trying in front of the cameras, it’s still hard to take my eyes off of you.”

This is a sequel to a fic that’ll be in the next section, because it’s longer, called Manage Me. Please read that one first before this one! (Not part of a series, but they’re the same story line)

Fascinating - Justaperson1718 (1556 words)

Summary: “I’m not staring at you,” Izuku replied, his eyes focused intently on Katsuki. He’s still wearing his pajamas, sitting on his knees in their shared bed. He was awake moments before Katsuki, and waited eagerly for the other to awake.

Katsuki glanced over his shoulder after his shirt was on and glared. “You’re fucking staring at me right now.”

Izuku shook his head, humming his disapproval quietly. “I’m watching you.”

“That’s the same damn thing,” Katsuki said while searching for a pair of pants in the dresser. “Your eyes are fixated on me like I’m your life’s fucking goal or some shit.”

“I just like watching you get dressed.” Izuku tilted his head to the side and smiled softly at Katsuki’s confused stare. “I know, it’s weird. But I like it.”

*There is a little bit of implied mature content, but overall, it’s just so sweet and intimate, and I just simply adore this one.

in a place once filled with gold - dorenamryn (9226 words)

Summary: It felt strange to remember such details, for they were things a friend should know, and as far as Katsuki was concerned, he and Deku hadn’t been friends in a very, very long time. He could admit, with reluctance, that they were on the path there, now, even though they would never make it. Katsuki would die before they could get the chance.

or: There is a garden growing in Katsuki’s lungs, and he is helpless to stop it.

“Hanahaki disease” okay, I can explain myself. Okay, I can’t. In any case, you got angst with a happy ending if that’s what you’re into!

Kaleidoscope - DPRenFTW (5141 words)

Summary: Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Just as beautiful and fascinating as the name implies! I seriously recommend for the beautiful writing, the gorgeous world, the mythical creatures au, and the lovely bakudeku romance!

Learning Curve - sensiblysilly (4222 words)

Summary: Deku and Katsuki’s first kiss goes rather differently than planned.

And Katsuki’s quickly learning that relationships can be unpredictable - especially when taking into account the variable that is Midoriya Izuku.

This really is just a careful handling of a teenage romance where perhaps one of them may have shit they’re still working through. It’s really sweet, and a careful study at boundaries and the building of a relationship. I actually stumbled across this while looking for another with the same name and ended up pleasantly surprised. Kacchan can has a little validation, as a treat.

4/20 is a national holiday - Ereri_Garbage (

Summary: Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Uummmm lmao yes I have a sense of humor. ;ALDSKJFLSKDJF Okay, I say that, but this is not a crack fic, it’s a good story that I enjoy with good writing, and *it has mature, content, obviously for multiple reasons here. It’s rated as mature but there are borderline explicit moments imo. It’s a fun fic and funny, too! And, ngl, it really does remind me of college... But forget about me, the bakudeku is wonderful too of course :)

Drinking Watermelon - warschach (8906 words)

Summary: For whatever reason, maybe divine fate, Izuku turned and looked over his shoulder and waved to them.

Katsuki’s heart full on stopped right then, and his fingers forgot their duty on the rails, and his body neglected its job to keep Katsuki balanced.

Izuku’s summer sweet smile fell into concern as Katsuki went airborne and cracked his skull on the porch.

or Katsuki works as a camp counselor, and Izuku is a boy made of summer heat and sunlight.

Love it when people have Bakugou as absolutely enamored with Midoriya; it’s so good and true. Anyways this one makes me like summer camp story lines. It’s funny and also cute and great writing! *It’s got explicit content, just a heads up. Warschach stories just have this youthful 80′s vibe, I don’t know how else to explain it.

there are listed buildings - semiautomatichearts (3309)

Summary: Katsuki first sees colors bloom when he is only three years old. It is timid Izuku, hiding behind the cover of his mother's leg who looks upon him with wide eyes, and Katsuki's world explodes in shades of greens and pinks and blues, and he is so startled, he begins to cry.

His life is then on defined in color, in shades his peers can't see, by the forlorn, timid stare in Izuku's eyes that always lets off more than he is willing to tell. There is a schism driven between himself and his fated other, and Katsuki strives to be better than fate, better than what is defined for him. He is more than the written pages of a book, to be cracked open and read by the gods.

He wonders if it is possible for colors to bloom for someone who will never love you back.

Ah...soulmates :) So interesting how bakudeku fits into soulmate aus like this one when they’ve known each other as kids! And when they’ve had this complex push and pull thing going on all their lives! The writing is beautiful, and so is the story!

Promise Ring - bkdkwritingsdump (3579)

Summary:  The midwest in the 1950′s is no place for boys who like kissing boys: something Izuku and Katsuki know all too well growing up there. However, the undeniable bond between the nervous science geek and the aloof delinquent will still find a way to blossom in such a desert.

Cute, sweet, makes my gay heart ache. Longing not just for the one you love, but just to feel right loving them. Very pretty story line, lovely story telling!

Fics 10k - 30k:

Fishy - warschach (19417 words)

Summary: Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

Another warschach! I love this one, I love how they write bakudeku, particularly as college students, their stories (at least, the ones that I’ve read) always feel so warm, like a summer’s day, but not a lazy one, one that’s playful? If that makes sense? *This one is explicit, another heads up!

Manage Me - Justaperson1718 (10756 words)

Summary: Izuku caught himself moving forward, his head tilted somewhat to the side, and his eyes shot wide open. His gaze met Katsuki’s half-lidded eyes now that he was no longer in a dreamlike state, and seeing the way Katsuki was looking at him—waiting for him—made him realize Katsuki would’ve let him do it. He might have even wanted him to do it.

“You’re both doing fabulous!” the photographer called out to them, packing his camera into his bag and getting ready to leave. “I just got word that what we have now should be good, so we’ll stop there. Thank you for your time! Lock the door on your way out after you change.”

The pair stayed frozen in place, with Izuku’s arms around Katsuki’s neck and Katsuki’s hands resting on Izuku’s waist, while the photographer and his supervisor left.

“Kacchan,” Izuku cooed once they were gone. “Did you want to…?”

Love the story, love the bakudeku! Very, very good bakudeku TT_TT very sweet *There is some mature content in here as well

point to a map (we’ve been there) - cosmicfuss (10589 words)

Summary: Serendipity / sĕr″ən-dĭp′ĭ-tē Serendipity is the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery. Two men find themselves on a subway, hot coffee on one while the other is in the middle of a screaming match. After that they can't seem to stop finding each other, no matter how far they go.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; this fic owns my entire soul. I love the story, the ease of their relationship, just how lovely they are together. It’s another kind of nice, fluffy fic you’d read on a bad day where you come home and curl up in a blanket and listen to a ten hour video of thunderstorm white noise. *Again, some more mature content in here

Partners - tsukithewolf (13619 words) Another series! Two parts to this one this time

Summary: It is said that in Musutafu there is a charm that one can buy at a temple that will lead you to your destined partner. They say that if the charm works, you would be able to follow the red string of fate to the person you were meant to be with. And if the person returns your feelings, they would be able to see the string as well, proving that both were meant to be.

Three-year-old Katsuki and Izuku misunderstand what the word "partner" means and discover the charm and the rumor behind it is not only true, but more than expected.

Gets a little heavy, depression, bullying, suicidal thoughts, etc. But it must get worse before it gets better, that kind of thing. I also just adore the second part (called Bond) - maybe because it’s much fluffier, what about it?

Learning Curve - iknewaman (10304 words)

Summary: “Izuku.” Uraraka repeats as she motions at the person stood next to her. Green curls, average height, and, well. Up close, not such a bad smile. Uraraka points a thumb at Bakugou and enunciates slowly, “This is Bakugou. He can speak sign language too.”

Wait. Sign language?

The stranger— well, Izuku— looks at him with a raised brow. Their free hand lifts up as they make a slight motion of the hand.‘

Really?’

*

Bored out of his mind at a house party one night Bakugou is introduced to Izuku, a deaf student who offers to help teach Bakugou sign language in exchange for a favour-- or well, is prompted into asking for a favour.

Ah, I really want to explain this one a little bit? I’d never been into fanfiction ever, only really getting into it with these boys. This was the second one I read, I remember, and it caught me off guard, and it intrigued me. It really surprised me as to what fanfiction could be. Ngl I had biased perceptions of fanfics - I used to be one of those people who thought fanfiction could never be good writing - and this one slapped me in the face with it’s subtle beauty and creative story and heart melting capabilities, and very, very real relationship and growth. Anyways it’s so cute how happy Deku is to teach Kacchan sign language TT_TT Make sure to read the tags!

The Keeper and the Sun God’s Heir - SurelyHeavenWaits (12746 words)

Summary:  The Titans' have stolen something important from Izuku, heir of the Sun God, and he wants it back.

This one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one this one- Oh my god this one. Okay so what, I was a Percy Jackson kid, what about it? I love the mythical aus, particularly the god ones. But beyond that, the writing is so beautiful, just like the world, and the imagery. The bakudeku...absolutely stunning. The story itself? Incredible. Cannot recommend more. *There is explicit content in this, though I will say, it’s all in the last chapter, and all of the story is in the first two chapters. There’s also a second part as it’s a series and it’s short but it’s cute and sweet TT_TT

seven days - aaAAAaaahhhhHHHHH (10094 words)

Summary: There’s something about the green haired boy, an aura that just drew Katsuki in before he even knew his name.

[Sometimes your mind forgets, but your heart remembers]

Heed my warning: DON’T read this in front of other people. I bawl every time I read this one TT_TT I know I said I don’t like angst but AJLSKDFJALSKDFJ it has a hopeful ending! I mean yeah you’re gonna cry but...hope? :’) (that username really says it all tbh)

Fics 30k+

Notice me, nerd - useless_donut (40000 words)

Summary: Bakugou is in love with Midoriya. He doesn’t hide it, in fact it’s so painfully obvious that the entire class of 3-A has him figured out in a matter of months (days, in some cases). Too bad Midoriya is the most oblivious motherfucker out there, and Bakugou is too damn stubborn to actually ask him out.

Will the class of 3-A survive the sexual tension? Who will snap first? Someone put Bakugou out of his misery, please, before everyone else dies of second-hand embarrassment.

(a love story as witnessed by the class of 3-A)

Love the idea of Bakugou being brazen and brash, cause yeah, he is. So fucking funny though how that translates to him flirting. Gotta say, thought I was gonna cringe, but his “I’m gay af” outfit really ended up being A Look. Love the mutual pining, it really is strong in this one. *Okay, mature content in this one lads.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71197 words)

Summary: The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

Update: Epilogue added

*This one has mature content. If you can, please, for the love of god, read this fic. It’s like, tied with my favorite bkdk fic perhaps ever. It’s based on the movie of the same title, a nineties romcom with Sandra Bullock, but Belkacaramelka has so effortlessly made it into it’s own story, fit it so perfectly inside of the bnha world. I definitely stayed up until 6:30am reading this one. It’s got such good badass Midoriya, who is also sweet, and really really good reconciliation between bakudeku.

All Gifted - fitzefitcher (39129 words)

Summary: The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

This one is unfinished...and I highly doubt it will ever be. But what has been written is incredible. Once again, I’m a sucker for the magic/mythical creatures aus. But the relationship is great! The characterization is great! The found family trope that was building up is great!

under a hollow sun - umbrage (40572 words)

Summary: Midoriya is cursed with emptiness.

Misfortune leads him to a man of ancient magic and endless rage.

To stop an unfathomable evil, their mismatched halves must become whole.

Uuuggghhhh this was so good! I don’t think it’s going to be finished either :( Once again, fantasy au, more amazing writing, on point characterization, incredible pacing, makes you hungry for more story.

all the savage soul requires - majjale (58032 words)

Summary: Bakugou seems to have exhausted his patience for words and no longer acknowledges that Midoriya exists, so Midoriya crosses his legs, stares down at his hands limned in firelight, and makes a list of things he knows.

One. His name is Midoriya Izuku.

Two. He is a Godmarked, future god of life, heir to the divine throne.

Three. The gods have been fighting Death for eons, and now he's coming for recompense with everything he’s got.

This is majjale, so of course, the writing is more than beautiful; it’s absolutely breathtaking. This may be my favorite fic ever - unfortunately I don’t think it will ever be finished either TT_TT There’s the gods/fantasy au, which you know by now I love. But the characterization of our two boys is absolutely perfect, and I mean that as literally as possible. And the story being crafted between the two, the memory loss, the obvious history muddled by it all, it was so dense, and the PINING, so incredibly written, flowing so naturally. It wasn’t even close to being done, but it was wonderful, still is wonderful. 

My Writing: (You can skip this if you hate shameless self promotion)

You’re too damn flicking cute (1815 words)

Summary:  Bakugou is certain his shitty boyfriend is instigating kisses. Maybe it doesn't help that he keeps giving them away like it's a damn going out of business sale, but the stupid nerd is too fucking cute. Either way, like everything else, this is a competition, and he's going to win it.

Please don’t read this unless you’re going to the dentist afterwards! I’ve been told it’s so sweet it’ll give you instant cavities >_>;;;;

Bakugou Katsuki, you smooth motherfucker (10118 words)

Summary: Everyone around him knows that Bakugou Katsuki has a very special way with words. To the untrained ear he is loud and crass; to those that speak Kacchan, he is caring and inspiring. Yet there are rare moments, moments so fleeting you blink and you miss them, where Bakugou’s words pierce straight through Midoriya’s chest, and surprise everyone around him.

Goddammit, if only he would say them to Midoriya’s face.

Or, the five times Bakugou said something nice about Midoriya, and the one time he said something kind to him (but that was too long of a title).

I think most would consider this my best published fic; it’s one of those snapshot fics, “the five times where x did this, and the one time where they didn’t.” The recurring comment I get on this one is both of them being super in character, so I think that’s it’s defining characteristic! Bakugou and Midoriya have never known a life without the other, and in a perfect world, they never will.

Here, let me fix that (11247 words)

Summary: Bakugou honestly never thought he’d see Deku ever again. And now that they were together in this tiny compartment, alone for the next two and a half minutes, he had no clue what to say. He’d just apologized, right? So perhaps he could leave it at that and carry on with the original plan to never see the green-haired man that reminded him of dense forests, late night adventures, and tear-stained faces, ever again.

Ha! Who is he kidding? These bitches are soulmates.

I’ve gotten some critiques on this one, so sorry in advance if it’s not to your liking! Basically, what if Midoriya never got his quirk? Obviously, life would find a way to put them together because, as previously stated, these bitches are soulmates.

Plenty of Time (16654 words)

Summary: Bakugou found what little sleep he got restless and filled with nightmares that he forgot the second he opened his eyes. Tonight was the first time in a long time where he just had a normal dream - and it happened to be about Deku.

How fucking typical.

In other words, two dorks realize they have feelings for each other but don't know what to do about said feelings.

Ah, my first fic. Very simple, boys being boys, kinda like a slow burn? Idk how to explain this one, just boys figuring out their feelings and trying to figure out what to do about them. Been told these two are a little stupid but I think that’s valid.

We’re all time bombs waiting to explode (39223 words)

Summary: We have now entered the slipstream of time, into an alternate dimension where it neither is, nor isn’t, the 80’s. Two teenagers, burdened with the weight of adolescence in the modern world, find themselves struggling side by side, in part because of each other.

Bakugou, the most popular boy in school, has everything he could possibly want; status, power, and an unbreakable will. Having been dragged along behind him all the way to the top, Midoriya can’t help but wonder how (and why) he ended up standing beside his childhood friend-turned bully-turned friend again, weighed down by their complicated past and present. As the tension between them grows every day, and the arrival of a new, pretty face causes it to peak, it won’t be long before something - or someone - snaps.

I am...very bad at titles, and summaries apparently. This was my Heathers au, but it very quickly diverges from the original (I don’t do sad endings....) *This one has mature content, including implied sexual activity, drug use, and underage drinking, along with other heavy topics; please read the tags! Though tbh Midoriya is 17 for a couple weeks before it hits his birthday halfway through, so keep that in mind I guess? I kind of went heavy with this one, but I think the pay off was immense. This is the one with the most amount of comments stating it’s their favorite bkdk fic ever (and I cry). It’s a rough start, with a rough journey, but so is bakudeku! There’s a lot of petty drama, and then all of a sudden it’s Not That Petty and very much Far Too Real. Many have cried reading the ending, I cried writing it. My sister says it’s her favorite of mine. Now, I did kind of push this out without polishing it so much because I was losing my willpower, so if it feels lacking, that’s one hundred percent my fault.

Okay that was a lot! It took me a couple days...I hope I wasn’t too annoying with all my opinions! Please have a nice day. and enjoy some good reads, even if they aren’t the ones in this post!

[livingmybestfictionallife]

What If?

Request from @chanandlersstuff​: Hii, it's me, again. I want to request another Mgk imagine. Something like he goes to a new bar in the city and discovers that the owner is his childhood sweetheart or his first crush, the reader, and they can kiss or something like that. I love how you write and that's why I will ask you for a lots of requests

A/N: Thank you so much for your support! :) I hope you enjoy this one! Also, idk where Cassie and her mother reside. I assume it’s Cleveland, so that’s what it’s going to be in this story. ALSO, a bit of Pantera/Damageplan trivia is included as part of the plot of the story simply because I was listening to it and realized this takes place in Ohio--you’ll see why it’s important if you don’t already know. Hope you enjoy!

A/N part 2: If you ever want to be tagged in something, send me an ask or a message! :)

December 8th, 2004 was always a day that stood out to Colson, simply because it was the biggest ‘What if?’ in his life. He’d experienced too much heartache in his youth and would continue to face pain and anguish throughout his adolescence and early adulthood, and he had so many things that he would reflect back on and wonder what could have happened to make things go differently? What could he have done better? What kind of divine intervention would have been needed? What if he’d just gone home? What if he decided to hang out with someone else?

It seemed that as he reached thirty, he became more enamored with laying these what if questions to rest. He could spend the rest of his life wondering about what would happen had he not fucked something up or had something just gone a different direction, or he could accept that each of those mishaps had led him to the man he was today. He was happy with his life, and for the first time in a long time, he could admit that he was truly happy; he had a beautiful, happy, and healthy daughter that was the light of his world, a successful fifth studio album that blew away the punk and rock charts, and he was in what had to be the healthiest relationship in his life with a gorgeous woman that he loved. Yet still, there was one what if that refused to escape his mind: what if December 8th, 2004 went differently?

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Cassie had told her father over a thanksgiving dinner in Los Angeles about her school’s Winter Talent Show, and that she would be performing a song off her father’s album as a tribute to her late grandfather. Colson couldn’t refrain from tearing up as his daughter told him this and promised he wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

He’d shown up to Cassie’s talent show with a bouquet of flowers and a couple of friends he bothered to still talk to after all these years. His eyes glistened with proud, sorrow-ridden tears as he listened to the angel he had for a child sing his lyrics--with school appropriate revisions made--about the struggles he faced with his father since he was about her age. Of all the what ifs that passed through his mind, a lot had to do with his ability to be a good father for Cassie, and every second he spends with her reminds him that she is so much better of a person than he ever was at her age, and it was in that pride that he allowed a solitary tear to fall. He knew his father was proud of Cassie as well as she sang Lonely for her school, and when the show was over, he wrapped his daughter in the tightest hug he could, terrified of the fact that someday, he wouldn’t be around to hold her anymore.

It seemed death was always prevalent in his life; after all it was a death that caused the biggest what if in his mind to continue to pester him.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

(Y/N) paced around the densely populated room and watched not only the patrons, but the employees as well. She’d never even thought of opening a bar, in fact, she never considered being an entrepreneur of any sort, but when the opportunity came, she realized she’d have to be a fool to turn it down. Music had always been a passion of hers; she’d performed in small garage bands with friends, played local shows throughout high school and college, and she even got a degree in music production in hopes of working with a recording studio or record label. (Y/N) had followed this dream and worked at a Bad Racket Recording Studio since 2012, about three years after the studio opened.

It wasn’t until about a year ago that a friend got her in contact with someone who was looking to co-own a bar and turn it into a music venue for local bands. She loved the idea of promoting local bands and musicians, especially since she’d spent the past seven years watching people bring their dreams to life through recording. Maybe it was time to help them realize another dream, the dream of performance.

The reverberations of heavy guitar and drums pulsed through her heart and bones as the performing artist tonight began a cover of Damageplan’s ‘Breathing New Life’. Her heart skipped a beat inadvertently as her mind became lost in the music that electrified the air around her. As an early teen, she’d found solace in music of all genres, but her favorite had been the rock/grunge/metal scene. Pantera had been one of her father’s favorite bands, and so she grew up with a fondness of the musical stylings of the two Abbott brothers from Texas. A lot of kids her age couldn’t understand what was so appealing about Pantera to her--they assumed that just because her parents listened to it she was forced to as well and therefore didn’t know what good music was--but there was always one kid who understood. 

One blonde boy would always make sure to ask (y/n) what new music she’d found, if she’d heard of the drama that was going down between bands, and if she’d wanted to listen to CDs together after school. She always responded with a smile before any words left her mouth to continue the conversation, and over the course of middle school, that blonde kid, who she’d known only in passing before, became her closest friend.

As (y/n)’s eyes continued to drift over the crowd, images of her childhood friend’s face flashed through her mind as her gaze came to rest on a tall man dressed in all black, with unruly blonde hair. Had he not been wearing his jacket around his waist and a short sleeved shirt that revealed his tattoos, (y/n) would have glossed over the man’s presence without a second look, but the I-71 North tattoo that was half-visible beneath the rolled up sleeve had given away the man’s identity. With a smile on her face and confidence in her stride, (y/n) approached the bar.

Colson had been in town for a few nights before he’d had enough of his old buddies bugging him about trying out a new bar called Panther’s Den. They continued to swear up and down about it having a nineties feel, and how maybe he should see about setting up a small performance for old-time sakes there. After about three days of this continuing pestering, he gave in and agreed to go to the bar. Together, the small group sat huddled together as they waited to order drinks when a woman approached them with an unforgettable smile pulled across her face. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” she called out over the band as she shifted her weight from one foot to another and waited for the man to bring his eyes to hers. She half expected to see the bloodshot, sleep-deprived, almost hallowed out expression he had worn from time to time in his youth, but when those bright blue eyes turned to face her, (y/n)’s smile grew as she looked into the healthy face of her long time friend.

“(Y/N),” Colson was quick to exclaim as he stretched out his arms and pulled the woman into his chest. “What are you doing here?”

“Just running my business.”

“You manage this place?” Colson asked as he looked down into the woman’s eyes. She’d always been mesmerizing to him, although he could never put his finger on it. Maybe it had been how little she cared about what other people thought about her in school, or how badass her taste in music was to him. Maybe it was how supportive she was in him when he said he wanted to rap, or the way her eyes seemed to light up whenever a good riff stood out to her. Maybe it was the way she couldn’t help but nod her head to the beat of every song, the way she bit her lip when she was concentrating on a specific lyric, or the fact that she was his earliest supporter. Whatever it was that captivated him at thirteen was doing the same thing to him at thirty.

“I own it; well, co-own, technically, but I picked the name.” With a smirk, (y/n) lowered herself into the barstool beside Colson and watched as the posse that had surrounded him began to disappear.

“I definitely see the connection now,” he laughed as his eyes traced over the woman’s features. There was a lot that was different--she had less of a baby face that she had in school, seemed a bit more kind and lighthearted than when she was so doom and gloom back in the day, and wore a smile that used to take him what felt like hours of coercing to bring to her face. “How have you been?” Colson hated the question. Often he thought people would think he asked it just to compare his success to their current phase in life, but with (y/n) it came with a different kind of awkwardness that he would have to face.

“I’ve been doing well. My business partner and I got this place up and running last year and it’s been going pretty smoothly,” she admitted. “I was working with a recording studio for a long time before this, but nothing too exciting.” (Y/N) loved what she did and often didn’t have much to talk about with other people besides her work. Her personal life consisted of watched re-runs of TV shows that haven’t been on the air in years, entertaining herself and her pets at home, and not really making an attempt of finding new relationships--friendly or romantic.

“No guy in your life?” Colson found himself asking with an insecurity swelling in his chest that didn’t die down until she shook her head and dismissed whatever fears he didn’t realize he had.

“What about you? Dating Megan Fox must being something,” (y/n) said as she nudged Colson’s ribs with her elbow.

“Yeah,” Colson muttered as he tried to hide his face from (y/n) as he spoke. “She’s great, and I’m really happy.” His words were truthful in every sense of the matter, but that what if still tugged at his heart.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

At twelve and thirteen-years-old, there’s no way to know what love feels like, so Colson tried to ignore the knots that came into his stomach or the words that got caught in his throat whenever he would hang out with (y/n). He ignored the burning in his chest whenever their faces touched while sharing the cheap headphones they used to listen to (y/n)’s CD player with, and buried the jittery feeling he had whenever he knew he had plans with (y/n) and was counting down the hours until seeing her. The only thing that forced him to come to terms with how he felt towards (y/n) was another boy in her class that offered his headphones over to her one day before school to listen to the newly released, Volume 2 box set from Motley Crue, which had just announced they were reuniting. 

His blood boiled as he saw her hand brush against the other boy’s as she accepted the headphones and bobbed her head to the beat of whatever song was flooding her ears. It took Colson all of the courage his young self could muster to ask (y/n) to go on a date with him, and all of the money he had earned through small, odd-jobs to pay for the perfect date for this perfect girl.

He’d tried to ask two of his older friends who could drive to take him and (y/n) to Columbus, but wasn’t able to bribe them with enough money for them to agree. Eventually, he had to ask (y/n)’s father for help. His own dad was too busy working to be bothered with a middle school date, so he hoped the man who gave his daughter her love of music would be understanding. (Y/N)’s father found the young man’s idea heartwarming and fun, and agreed to take the pair to Columbus under the stipulation that he stayed to keep an eye on them. At that point, Colson was so relieved the date was panning out, that he didn’t care if her dad came along. 

Excitement had overwhelmed both (y/n) and Colson as they embarked on the two hour drive from Cleveland to Columbus, but the time passed quickly through their loud singing, enthusiastic conversation, and (y/n)’s wild anticipation as Colson revealed to her that they were going to Columbus to see Damageplan perform live. He remembered an early conversation he’d had with (y/n) about how she’d love to see Pantera live, as well as the disappointment she had a year ago when the band broke up. Although it wasn’t the exact same as seeing her all-time favorite band, he’d hoped Damageplan, which the founders of Pantera formed after their breakup, would be a close second.

Had they not been caught in traffic, they would have gotten to the show on time. To this day, Colson and (y/n) were both sure the traffic had been a blessing in disguise. They wanted to be front and center for the first song, but that came with the possibility of losing their lives.

They pulled up to the venue about fifteen minutes late. “The show is hours long! We won’t miss much in fifteen minutes,” (y/n)’s father had continued to reassure the teenagers that sat together in the back seat of his car throughout the drive. However, as they pulled up to see ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars flooding the scene, he realized that they may have missed everything. After her father got out and talked to a few people who had remained at the venue--either to give statements to officers or simply because they were in too much shock to drive--he returned to the car where Colson and (y/n) waited, put the vehicle into drive, and pulled away from the scene. It was about twenty long, agonizing minutes of silence before he pulled over through a fast food drive through to order the teens food. With his voice low as they waited for burgers and French fries, he delivered the news to the pair sitting in his backseat. Dimebag Darrell was dead, and their lives had been spared by some traffic on I-71.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened with us if we actually made it to the concert?” Colson found himself asking (y/n) as his fingertips picked at the label on his beer bottle.

“The possibility of getting shot crosses my mind,” (y/n) responded dryly as she leaned against the bar on her elbow.

“I mean, what if we made it to the venue and that guy didn’t show up--he never got on stage and killed all those people. What would have happened--with us?” Colson’s eyes never left (y/n). The question had plagued him since that night, followed by a million subsequent questions, such as, Why did I never ask her out again? Why did I see that as missing my shot?

“Well,” (y/n) began with a smile playing on her lips. “That would have been the best date of my entire life. Hands down, nothing could have ever topped it,” she said as her genuine smile curled even higher into a beaming grin that made Colson weak. “I would have probably found a way to give you a kiss whenever my dad wasn’t looking, just to show you how much I appreciated not only your plan for the date, but also you as a person, my best friend, and my biggest crush back then.”

“If I would have asked you out again would you have said ‘yes,’ even after what actually happened?” He was hesitant to receive her answer; he didn’t want to know he had wasted so much time wondering if he missed out on the relationship he was meant to be in by being too cowardly to ask. As his eyes met the soft smile of the woman that stood beside him, his heart sank into his stomach and his stomach turned to lead.

“Yeah, I would have,” she admitted. “You were always there for me, Colson, and I kind of anticipated you asking me out again. You were my favorite person to be around, and I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams.”

“But how much different would my life be if you were beside me the whole time?” He seemed defiant in his question, as if his tone could change the past and alter the present so he could see the difference in his life like comparing two ‘find-the-difference’ pages from a Highlight’s book.

“You wouldn’t have Cassie,” (y/n) stated with a matter-of-fact tone, “and I know how much you love that child.” Colson smiled at the mention of his daughter, and knew her statement to be true. If (y/n) was around, he would have never met Emma and Cassie would have never been born. “You would have still gone off on your own and done what you wanted to. Having me as your girlfriend wouldn’t have changed you wanting to be with models, I couldn’t ever keep you from something you set your mind to, so the drugs would have pulled us apart. In your own opinion, would I still be your friend if I saw everything you’ve done?” With a smirk and a chuckle, Colson reached out for (y/n)’s arm and gentled rested his hand on her shoulder.

“I don’t know if I would still be my friend. But I’m turning around from a lot of the stupid shit I used to do. You know, mellowing out with age,” he laughed and earned a small smirk from the girl that got away. “What about who I am now? How do you feel about him?” 

The words came from his mouth with a solemn look on his face as he scanned the woman’s appearance. He still loved her, and a big part of him knew he would never stop loving her. After all, how could he? He never got the opportunity to see where he and (y/n) would have gone. Would they have a child of their own? Would he have listened to her if she pestered him or threatened to leave when it came to the drugs? Would he have even felt he needed them? All they could do was speculate, and speculation wasn’t enough for him. He wanted an ending on their relationship, one way or another, he needed to know. This open-ended bullshit was eating at him every waking second of his life since December 8th, 2004, and he needed to have her tell him it would have never worked, then he could move on.

“You’ve always been incredible to me,” (y/n)’s softened voice admitted as she gazed up at the man she’d loved since her youth. “And you always will be, but you have Megan, and I know you--you’re happy. Don’t ruin what is a great thing over something that could have been, regardless of how either of us feel.” (Y/N) could feel her heart sinking and her eyes ache as they threatened to fill with tears. 

All she’d ever wanted was for him to walk in here, admit his feelings for her, and live some fan-fiction reality of a happily ever after, but the real world was much more cruel. People move on, and even if they don’t fully move on emotionally, they don’t sit around waiting forever. Colson hadn’t remained single in the sixteen years between their first almost date, and she never expected him to. The least she could do was wish happiness onto him and be happy for him when he found it. “I think you may have had a bit too much to drink, Col,” she sighed as she pushed the glass of liquor that sat in front of him aside. Throughout their reminiscing and conversation, he continued to order drink after drink to drown the anxiety of seeing her, and (y/n) could tell it was getting to his head. “You don’t want to do something you’ll regret when you sober up.”

“I need to know, (y/n),” he stated in a firm and exasperated gasp as they pair disappeared into her office so that he could sober up while she collected his friends to take him back to wherever he was staying.

“Colson--”

“Please,” his gentle blue eyes were staring down intently at (y/n)’s soul, a soul filled with hope and warmth clouded with traumas of her own, a soul that always felt tethered to his. With a deep breath and gentle sigh, she pulled herself onto her toes, gently rested her hands against his chest and shoulder, and closed her eyes as her lips found his.

Their kiss was simple, something a pair of middle school kids would have become so giddy over having done, but as adults, it was damn near impossible to ignore her heart jumping into her throat, the way his hands felt on her hips, how soft her lips were against his, how desperate he was to deepen the kiss, to sweep his tongue across her lips and lean her against a wall to feel her pressed against him. (Y/N) had pulled away from Colson before he could find the courage to do what he’d always wanted, and the pair stood toe to toe with electricity buzzing in their heads as they continued to reflect back on the past few seconds. Neither had felt that way with another person before, and neither were certain they would ever feel that way again, because Colson was happy, and Megan didn’t deserve to be thrown aside over the possibility of all the what ifs he had in regards to (y/n).

She gently bit down on her lip and stared at the floor in a desperate attempt to avoid looking Colson in the eyes, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to contain herself if he decided he wanted more. Thankfully, he took the hint and pulled (y/n) into a gentle hug before he turned rather clumsily on his heel to catch up with his friends.

“You’re always welcome here, Colson,” (y/n) called out before he left her sight, hoping he would understand her on the deeper level they always were able to converse with one another on.

“Thanks, (y/n),” he said in return as he held the door to her office gently in his hands. “I’ll try to come back again when I’m not so busy.” A coy smile played on both of their faces once the door was placed between them, and hope continued to spring from both of their chests.

Colson left the Panther’s Den feeling even more confused by the what ifs than he had initially been, and the sensation of the kiss had left him feeling even more light-headed and puzzled than any alcohol or overthinking could cause. In their silences and stolen glances, in the touch of their lips and how each other felt beneath the other’s hands, Colson knew whatever electricity between them, whatever spiritual connection, or tethering of souls would never go away. It was a matter of timing for the pair, thirteen wasn’t the right time for them to get together and it was deflected in a gruesome way, but whatever the temptress of time was planning for Colson and (y/n), he knew he was ready to fall, so he placed their fate in the hands of life, and continued down the street with the gentle graze of her lips pressing like a phantom against his own.

[morningfears]

Rose Tattoo [Chapter One]

Rating: PG-13 | Swearing, mentions of death, mentions of a panic attack.

Summary: Inspired by this blurb. | Calum is a tattoo artist. Stevie is getting her first tattoo. She’s terrified but determined and though Cal looks tough, when he takes off his jacket, Stevie notices the marker staining his arms and realizes that he’s a gentle giant who lets his son use him as a living coloring book. They hit it off but are either of them ready for anything more? [I’ll come up with a better fic summary later, promise.]

Word Count: 8.3k

series masterlist | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five

Stevie could see the clouds of her breath curling around her face, rising and disappearing just as quickly as they appeared, as she weaved through the crowds cluttering the sidewalk. She was uncomfortably aware of the eyes on her, small-town tourists staring at the shock of green hair atop her head, as she waited at a crosswalk. She focused on the music blaring in her headphones, on the bitter cold nipping at the slivers of exposed skin, on evening her breathing and keeping her face void of emotion, as she attempted to ignore them. 

She hadn’t lived in New York long, barely two months, but the adjustment period had been painfully short. She’d learned, almost immediately, the best ways to avoid anyone asking her for directions or tips about the city. She’d also learned how to navigate the city through the path of least resistance (read: tourists). She rarely crossed paths with them, usually only on the subway to and from her office, as she tried not to venture too far from her own neighborhood. However, it seemed unavoidable today.

Stevie’s job kept her in the same general area. She usually met artists she was scheduled to interview near her office for coffee or in the park nearby if the weather permitted. Her neighborhood, though not perfect by any means, had everything that she needed to live - including an overpriced grocery store and a Vietnamese restaurant whose staff knew her, and her usual order, by name. There was a gym close enough and a coffee shop that made the best chai latte she’d ever had. The only things it lacked were the things that she rarely needed, like a good tattoo shop.

The tattoo shop at the end of her block with blinking neon signs and Sailor Jerry-esque artwork covering the walls didn’t appeal to her in the slightest. The owner, and the most prominent artist, lived across the hall from her and seemed more concerned with his reputation than with good art. The shop itself catered mostly to a certain brand of wannabe Instagram influencers and specialized in a type of tattoo that she didn’t want. So, to her dismay, she found herself having to step outside of the comfort zone she’d constructed and venture across the city to a tattoo shop a friend from work recommended. 

Stevie felt a flurry of emotions swirling in the pit of her stomach as she drew closer and closer to the shop. She was excited, of course, because she had always loved tattoos. Her dream as a child was to be covered in them, a dream that she abandoned when she realized that she was too indecisive for something so permanent. However, she was also terrified. Needles had always been a fear of hers. Although she’d been pierced several times, her nose and ears and belly button were all bejeweled, none of her piercings took longer than a few minutes. The needle was in and out before she could really think about the choice she’d made and that was it.

Tattoos, on the other hand, were a different story.

She knew that the appointment would be at least a few hours long and the thought of sitting there for so long, immobile as a needle was repeatedly driven into her skin, made her nauseous as she stood outside the shop and attempted to control her breathing. She knew that she would be fine once they began the process, it was just getting into the shop and getting started that freaked her out. She knew, though, without a doubt that she had to get the tattoo. She couldn’t back out but the thought of postponing briefly crossed her mind as she stared at the bright blue neon sign in the window.

After sending Calum her references and telling him exactly what she wanted, he recommended two sessions. Her tattoo consisted mostly of fine lines and intricate detail, something Calum was comfortable with but knew would take more than the standard few hours, and neither really wanted to plan a day session. The first session was for line work, to get the basic outline of the tattoo onto her skin in black ink, while the second - scheduled for two weeks later - was to be spent adding color and detail. It made sense and she was happy that he didn’t push a day session but she almost wished she could just get it all over with immediately. At least that way she would only have to begin a session once.

As she stood outside the shop, gathering herself and hoping that she didn’t look as panicked as she felt, the world around her faded. She no longer heard the noise from the street or the loud hum of neon. She didn’t see the bright blue glow or the buildings reflected in the shop’s plate glass window. She didn’t notice the people passing her by, brushing past her without so much as a glance in her direction, nor did she notice the one person who decided to stop as her nerves held a firm grip on her. It was all white noise and a meaningless blur as she breathed in deeply through her nose and exhaled through her mouth.

Stevie only became aware of the person when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

Stevie jumped, startled out of her reverie, and turned to face the stranger. She recognized him from the few photographs she’d seen on his Instagram - there were very few of his face but he’d posted one recently so she recognized the buzzcut and fading blue dye - and felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment as she met Calum’s eyes. She had hoped that she would have herself together by the time she met him, she didn’t want to give him pause, but that seemed to be out of the question as he stood in front of her.

He didn’t look nearly as intimidating in person as he did in pictures and that eased some of the worry in the pit of her stomach. However, Stevie still found herself shrinking under his gaze. A few tattoos - the majority stark black and traditional, a mixture of intricate lines and simple designs from what she had seen online - peeked out of the collar of his shirt, a few more decorated his hands, and she tried not to stare as she took him in. His eyes, contrary to the mask of indifference he wore, were soft and concerned as he moved his hand from her shoulder and let it drop to his side.

Calum stared at her for a moment. He hadn’t made it a habit to stop and chat with pedestrians he happened across,  regardless of where he happened across them (including in front of the tattoo shop where he worked). In the six years he’d lived in New York, he’d learned how to keep walking. He knew how to tune out the city around him and had gotten over the deep seated desire to help lost tourists or recent transplants. But something about this girl was different. 

Her short hair, an artful mix of dark brown and green, was mussed - Calum assumed it was both the wind and her seemingly nervous habit of running her fingers through it - and her knuckles were white as she clutched her jacket tight against her body. Her face, illuminated in the late afternoon sun, looked mildly panicked but he could see a steely resolution in the set of her shoulders. It was interesting, the mixture of emotion he saw swirling in her eyes, and he felt compelled to speak to her.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he began, his voice quiet and soft in the din of the city as to not frighten her further but loud enough for her to hear, “but I just wanted to see if you were alright?”

It took Stevie a moment to gather herself, to formulate a response and push it through the thick cotton of panic that had formed in her mouth, but Calum seemed in no rush as he watched her knit her brows and internally assess herself. “Sure,” she nodded quickly, the word forced from her mouth and sounding garbled as she brought a hand up to run her fingers through her freshly dyed hair, “yeah. I’m fine. I’m just, uh, just a little nervous is all.” When Calum raised an eyebrow, inviting her to continue speaking, she added, “About getting a tattoo, my first one. I mean, I didn’t just pick a random tattoo studio to have a breakdown in front of. I know that it’s silly but, yeah.”

Stevie noted that Calum’s gaze were curious, maybe a little amused, but in no way judgmental. He understood her apprehension and saw it more often than not with his clients. Getting a tattoo was a big commitment; they hurt, they could take hours to complete, they could be expensive (if they wanted a good tattoo), and they’re permanent. Although he had more than his fair share, Calum still felt a lingering nervousness in the back of his mind any time he added a piece to his ever-growing collection (though it usually faded to a sort of excitement, something of an adrenaline rush) but he remembered how nervous he had been for his first tattoo and couldn’t blame her for needing a moment to settle her nerves.

“It’s not,” he assured her with a shake of his head. “It’s normal, especially for the first one. Nerves are a part of the process,” he stated with a nod that suggested finality as he moved out of the path of pedestrians. She stepped to the side - subtly, he noted, but just enough to put a small distance between them - and averted her gaze as he glanced at his watch. He lifted his head, turning his gaze to her once more, before he asked, “You wouldn’t happen to be Stevie, would you?”

“Yep,” she nodded, placing an emphasis on the ‘p’, before she huffed out a sigh, “although I wish I was anyone but at the moment. Calum, right?” When he nodded, Stevie copied the gesture and offered him a weak smile. “Sorry you’re getting stuck with such a baby for a few hours. I have to get this tattoo. I’m just…” She paused, her eyebrows furrowed and her shoulders dropping, before she added, “Needles.” 

Calum raised an eyebrow at her explanation as he took in the septum ring and the several studs and rings in her ears. He was sure he’d seen a flash of silver when she opened her mouth and he felt certain that if he looked closer, he’d see a barbell in her tongue. “You have a nose ring,” he pointed out as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and took in the gunmetal ring looped through her septum, “and I’m pretty sure I saw a tongue ring.”

Stevie huffed indignantly and crossed her arms over her chest as she turned her head. Her cheeks, already pink from the cold, deepened in color as the embarrassment heated her body. “Tattoos and piercings are different,” she defended as she glanced at the people passing them by, “one lasts thirty seconds, at most, and the other takes hours. I’d rather be jabbed with a needle once than have someone keep stabbing me. It’s…” Stevie paused, searching her brain for the right words to adequately describe her feelings, before she settled on, “It’s the repetition, I guess.”

Calum laughed at Stevie’s explanation and she wanted nothing more than to turn and walk away from the conversation. She imagined that he didn’t mean any harm - she hoped that he didn’t, anyway - but she didn’t like feeling like she was being made fun of. She knew that she was being overly sensitive, that her anxiety lowered her threshold for rationality, but she still didn’t like it. However, she wanted Calum to tattoo her - she needed him to tattoo her - so she bit her tongue and stood still as she contemplated her next move.

Calum, sensing the shift in Stevie’s attitude, shook his head and pushed away from the wall. “If that’s how it is for you, that’s how it is for you,” Calum offered with a shrug as he attempted to catch her eye again, “but, trust me when I tell you that you probably won’t be my worst client this week. As long as you don’t faint, you’re miles ahead of a guy I had a few days ago.”

Stevie paled at the mention of fainting and Calum realized, too late, that that might not have been as reassuring as he’d intended it to be. He’d hoped to put her at ease, to relax her before he brought her into the shop, but with how tight she was wound, he didn’t imagine he would be able to. Instead, he sighed and stepped around her to head toward the door. “You ready to head in? I’ve got some designs drawn up. We can look at them and you can decide which one you like best.”

“Sure,” she nodded as she stepped through the door and into the studio itself. “Sorry I’m so early. You know how some people are chronically late? I have the exact opposite problem.”

“You should stick around, teach us your ways,” Calum hummed as he followed her in. “No one here is ever on time.”

“Fuck you. I am always on time.” Stevie turned just in time to catch sight of a crumbled ball of paper flying toward Calum’s head. The culprit, a man with inky black hair and an array of black and red tattoos, was seated at a drawing table and smiled at her when she caught his eye.

“When you own the place, I guess you can never really be late,” Calum deadpanned as he stepped around her and gestured for her to take a seat on the couch in the corner. “Hang out here for a second,” he instructed as he reached for the crumbled ball of paper on the floor, “I’ll go grab the designs and we can talk about placement and get everything figured out.”

Stevie nodded and watched as Calum navigated the array of equipment with practiced ease. He paused for a moment, long enough to nudge the - well, the owner, she guessed - and laugh as he messed up a line, before he disappeared through a door marked ‘staff only’. She glanced around the building, her eyes raking over the various paintings and prints and flash sheets that covered the walls, and found herself getting lost in the artwork as she waited for Calum to return.

**********************

As Stevie was twenty minutes early for her appointment - something that he appreciated; he would rather clients arrive early and have to wait for him to be ready than have them arrive late and derail his schedule for the day - Calum didn’t feel so bad taking a moment to breathe as he sifted through his files to find the few designs he’d created for her. Though it was barely three in the afternoon, his day had already been long. He’d been up since four that morning and he wanted nothing more than to finish her tattoo and head home.

The tattoo itself was fairly simple in concept, a bouquet of roses in shades of red and green with a ribbon tying them together (the only odd detail was a small skull pin on the ribbon), but the tattoo itself was quite large. He’d warned her, over email, that it would likely become close to a half sleeve if he made it as detailed as she wanted and she hadn’t been deterred at all. Despite it being her first tattoo, something she mentioned, she seemed incredibly committed to making it work. 

Normally, Calum wouldn’t have minded sitting for a full session. The tattoo wouldn’t have taken more than ten hours and, though he hated marathon sessions, he could’ve done it. However, their schedules never quite clicked and the only time Stevie could get into the shop was after three in the afternoon. In another life, four years earlier, Calum wouldn’t have hesitated to accept staying in the shop until one in the morning. A session that ran late into the night would’ve just been another day at work for him. But, as fate would have it, he was no longer able to schedule his life so selfishly.

The deciding factor in his availability was - and had been for nearly five years - his son.

Calum became a father at the young age of twenty and his apprenticeship (back when he first began tattooing), his bookings now, his life; they all revolved around Tāne’s schedule. He had a babysitter, one that watched Tāne after school and kept him until Calum’s last appointment of the day finished, but it wouldn’t be fair to either his son or the babysitter to accept an appointment that lasted so long. Even if it was a one off appointment, he wanted to get home, to have dinner with his son and read him a bedtime story or just tuck him in, just as much as he wanted the babysitter to be free to go home and do her homework or see her own parents. 

Calum had seen friends, men older than him and even some younger, that let their lives be consumed by their work and made their families pay for it. They chose local celebrity, fleeting online fame, over their home lives and he’d seen what it could do firsthand. He’d seen them end up divorced and alone, unable to get weekends with their children despite promising to be there for them. He’d seen them depressed, missing a part of themselves they hadn’t even known they’d had until it was gone. He’d met the teenage children of older artists and had been told stories about their childhoods, dealing with the absence of their fathers. And he desperately wanted to avoid that.

Calum wanted to be present for his son. He wanted to be a steadfast figure in his life, to be there whenever he needed him, so every decision was made with him in mind. His decision to cut a ten hour session into two shorter, five hour ones was made with Tāne in mind. It gave him time to pick up his son from school - they got out at 1:00 on Fridays - and spend a few hours with him before he had to disappear to the shop. It also helped ensure that he would be home in time to tuck his son into bed before he passed out himself. It ensured that he wouldn’t be dead on his feet, dragging into the living room as Tāne begged for chocolate chip pancakes and Saturday morning cartoons. It ensured that he wouldn’t be a shell of himself, present in body but absent in mind.

It ensured that he would be able to give his son the attention he deserved.

He leaned against the counter, staring at the transfer paper in his hands without truly seeing it, and took a deep breath. He could already feel the tension in his shoulders. It was present after the long morning he’d had and he could already anticipate the aching pain that came with sitting hunched over for hours at a time. He’d done a marathon session the day before, an eight hour tattoo that ended with a beautiful piece and a customer he could count on seeing again, but it left him aching and ready for a day off. However, as he lifted his head and turned to face the shelves, he reasoned that at least this session wouldn’t be so bad with the placement of Stevie’s tattoo.

After gathering himself, after clearing his head, Calum grabbed the items he would need from the supply closet and returned to set up his station. He imagined that Stevie would be sitting on the couch, waiting patiently as she attempted not to panic, but to his (almost lack of) surprise, he found her sitting on one of the extra artist stools with her chin in her hand as she watched Ashton outline a tattoo he was working on for Michael. Ashton looked calm, happy, even, as he explained the design to her and Calum rolled his eyes.

Stevie was cute, that much he could admit. Her hair, something she’d smoothed since stepping into the shop, was a shock of green among the blacks and blues of the shop. She was a strange mixture of hard edges and soft lines with but Calum imagined that that only added to her intrigue. Her cheeks seemed permanently flushed despite the warmth of the shop and Calum imagined that it was her nerves. Ashton, however, seemed to have a sixth sense for flirting with cute, nervous clients and it was starting to get old. He told everyone it was to help them be at ease, to calm their nerves before the tattoo, but Calum imagined it was more to help him get laid.

He let them be for a moment, long enough to drop the items he’d gathered onto the stand beside his station, before he decided to interrupt them. “If I could have my client back, mate,” Calum called, glancing over at the pair of them as he unzipped his jacket and began to shrug it off, “we can go ahead and get started.”

Ashton, used to Calum’s interruptions, shot him an easy grin as he nodded. “I was just keeping her company until you were ready for her. She’s all yours,” Ashton assured him with a mock salute before he returned his full attention to the drawing in front of him.

Stevie smiled at Calum, a little uneasy grin that seemed to be a reflex more than anything, before she returned the stool to the station she’d grabbed it from and crossed the shop to join him. As he arranged his set up, his movements steady and practiced, Stevie shrugged off her coat and paused for a moment. She glanced around the shop, empty save for her, Calum, and Ashton, before she asked, “I have on an undershirt. Like, I’m wearing a tank top beneath the long sleeve. Do I just…?”

Calum glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, an amused laugh leaving his lips as he watched her hesitate. “Yeah,” he nodded as he grabbed the black ink, “long sleeve has to go. You can take it off out here or there’s a bathroom over there.”

Stevie stood frozen, seemingly unsure, and Calum almost urged her toward the bathroom but before he could, she gripped the hem of her long sleeve with one hand and the hem of her tank top with another. She tugged the black garment up and over her head, huffing as it mused her hair even further and as she hit her elbow on the corner of the countertop behind her. She remained stuck in the garment for a moment, struggling to free herself, and Calum had to bite back a laugh as she rubbed her elbow with a frown on her lips.

“Right,” she nodded after dropping her shirt onto her bag and taking a moment to watch him set up - something he felt almost too aware of. “Where do you want me?”

Calum didn’t look at her as he arranged the little pots of ink on his workstation. Instead, he nodded his head toward the designs laying on the counter of his station. “Have a look at those for me,” he encouraged as he reached for the box of gloves beside him, “let me know which one you like the most and we’ll see how it looks in terms of placement and size.”

Calum’s station was in a corner of the shop. There were mirrors surrounding him, something that he felt almost neutral about most days, but he used them to his advantage as he watched Stevie through the mirror. He watched, curious, as she carefully traced her fingers over the designs laying on the counter and analyzed the emotions on her face. She hadn’t told him what the tattoo was for, he hadn’t asked, but he had gotten good at recognizing emotion in his years as an artist. He’d always been good at reading people, it was a gift, but he’d learned how to spot grief despite the many faces it wore as he’d done more memorial tattoos than he could count. Each circumstance was different, everyone dealt with grief in their own way, but the tattoo serving as a memorial explained why she felt so strongly about getting the tattoo (including the size and details) despite her obvious nerves.

Although he was outwardly the most reserved artist in the shop, he had always been the one that felt the deepest connection with other people. He empathized far too strongly for his own good and sometimes he hated that part of his job. He sat with people for hours, inking permanent memorials into their skin and listening as they told him stories of parents or grandparents or, God forbid, children that had passed and his heart bled for each one. He never knew what the session would bring - whether they would be an open book or whether the grief was too fresh to even consider speaking - and he didn’t know what to expect with Stevie. Usually, he knew what he was hoping for - more often than not, it was a happy medium that didn’t leave him emotionally drained by the end of an appointment - but with Stevie, he found himself unsure of what he hoped for.

But, by the way her hand shook and her breathing stuttered when she followed the outline of the skull with soft fingers, Calum knew that, regardless of the session itself, he hoped that the experience would bring her some semblance of closure.

Calum was finished setting up his station by the time she chose a design. He didn’t want to push, not when he could see tears glittering on her lashes, so he leaned against the counter and waited for her to speak. “This one,” she finally breathed, her voice quiet in the nearly empty shop. “This one’s perfect.”

The design wasn’t much different than her original request, it was still a bouquet of roses with the ribbon and skull (a detail she’d insisted on), but there were a few smaller flowers throughout as well as a few more intricate lines and details. It was, without a doubt, the hardest of the drawings to place onto her skin, it would bump the session up to twelve hours instead of ten, but it was his favorite, too.

Calum never gave his opinion on which design a client should choose. At the end of the day, it was their body. However, he found himself breathing, “I was hoping that’s the one you’d go for,” before he knew what he was saying. He didn’t know why but something about her vulnerability made him want to assure her that she was making the right decision.

Stevie looked up from the counter and when he met her eyes, his heart broke for her. He could see a glassy sheen of unshed tears and beneath the layer of nerves, he could see just how lost she looked. It was a jarring change, gone were the flushed cheeks and doe eyes, replaced by sadness, and it was hard to keep himself together as he watched her nod. “Let’s get this stencil on, then, and see what it looks like,” he mumbled, his voice quiet as he reached for the stencil and beckoned her closer to him.

Stevie seemed lost in her own thoughts so Calum worked in silence. He didn’t speak as he placed the stencil on her upper arm, exactly where she’d asked for, and was glad to see that the measurements he’d used had worked in just the way he’d hoped. It was a big tattoo, especially for the first, but - and Calum wasn’t sure if this was his own selfish desire to make his tattoos look as if they had always been a part of his clients’ bodies - it looked like it belonged.

Calum stared at it for a moment, his eyes raking over the pale purple lines on her skin, and he decided that it was beautiful. It fit her perfectly, exactly the way he’d hoped it would, and she echoed the thought as she breathed, “It’s beautiful. It looks perfect.”

“The placement is okay?” he asked, just to be sure, as he nudged her toward the full length mirror to get a better look at the angle. She stared at her reflection for a moment, her eyes glued to her right arm, and nodded. Calum, happy that she was happy, repeated the gesture and pointed to the chair. “Okay. Take a seat for me and we’ll. Get started.”

Stevie settled into the chair and kept her eyes on her hands, folded across her lap, as Calum settled onto his stool beside her. He could see the shaking in her limbs, the rapid rise and fall of her chest as she tried to steady her breathing, but she was quiet. She didn’t want to give him pause, he realized that, and he admired her follow through as she was clearly panicked. The only sound that echoed through the shop was the scratch of Ashton’s pencil against paper and the sound of traffic outside. Calum almost didn’t want to break the silence. It wasn’t awkward, just pensive, but he had to get started so he said, “I’m going to start with a line, just to give you a feel for it. Remember to breathe for me and let me know how you’re doing. If you need a break, tell me and I’ll stop.”

Calum kept his eyes on her arm as he traced one line onto her skin. He heard a sharp intake of breath over the hum of the machine but, to his surprise, she kept perfectly still. She was rigid, almost alarmingly so, and had her nails dug into her palms but she nodded at him. “I’m fine. It’s fine,” she assured him, her voice tight as she stared straight ahead at the artwork on the wall, “Go ahead.”

Stevie kept her posture for the first thirty minutes of her tattoo. Those long minutes passed in silence, Calum focused on the bigger lines that gave the entire image shape, and Stevie kept her eyes on the wall. He glanced at her every so often, just to make sure she hadn’t passed out, and was somewhat surprised at how well she seemed to be holding herself together. Her anxiety faded as they went on, her body relaxing and her breathing evening, and nearly an hour into the process, Calum could feel her eyes on him. 

Stevie watched him work but her gaze wasn’t scrutinizing, just curious. She was engaged in the process and Calum was glad to see that she’d calmed at least somewhat since their initial meeting. He didn’t mind silent sessions, ones where the clients didn’t speak at all, but he was curious. He wanted to know exactly what the tattoo stood for so he asked, “Why a bouquet with the skull?”

Stevie hesitated, her eyes glued to his hands as he traced another line, and he almost retracted his question. However, before he could open his mouth, she sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. “It’s for a friend,” she offered, her voice quiet and barely audible over the buzz of the machine. “She died a few months ago.”

Calum occasionally offered his ear to clients - some he didn’t have to offer it to, they were more than willing to spill regardless of his feelings on the matter - and he felt the need to listen to Stevie’s story. So, as he paused to wipe at the ink on her skin, he asked, “You want to talk about it? I’ve been told tattoo artists are like therapists. Just, less frequent visits. For most people, anyway.”

Stevie cracked a smile at Calum’s attempted banter and he was surprised at the feeling of accomplishment that blossomed in his chest. He never really invested himself in his clients’ lives, he had his own shit to worry about, but he felt for her. Losing a friend so young - she had to be his age or younger - and one that meant enough for her to face her fear and get a tattoo for had to be hard. And, if her accent was anything to go by, she was a long way from home and likely didn’t have anyone to vent to. So, he felt compelled to offer her an open ear.

“It was cancer,” she finally answered after such a prolonged silence that Calum had almost forgotten he’d asked. He glanced up from the line he was working on and frowned as she kept her eyes on the ceiling. “Her name was Angela. We were best friends for ages. She was the first friend I made when I moved after Katrina and we did everything together. We went to college together. We were going to move up here together. But she got sick.” Stevie paused for a moment, gathering herself, and Calum almost reached for the box of tissues on Luke’s station but stopped himself as he continued tattooing. “She dropped out, couldn’t keep up with the work because of the chemo, and that was it. She died. She had this bucket list, all these things she wanted to do before before she died, and I promised her I’d finish it for her. The tattoo was the next thing on the list. She really wanted the roses. You wouldn’t have thought it, looking at her, but she loved flowers.”

“Shit,” Calum breathed, his voice barely audible despite the absence of the buzzing machine. “That’s… I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what else he could say. 

“Don’t be,” Stevie shrugged before quickly apologizing for the movement. “She’s not suffering anymore. It got really bad toward the end. She was in a lot of pain. I would’ve preferred she got better, of course, but an end’s an end, I guess.” She paused for a moment, her eyes narrowing as she attempted to blink back tears, before she added, “The skull is this ring she wore literally every day. Her mom gave it to me.” She lifted her left hand and pulled a long chain from beneath the neckline of her tank top. At the end dangled a small silver ring in the shape of a skull with two red gems for eyes.

Calum, despite his countless jokes about how much they annoyed him, couldn’t imagine losing any of his friends. They were his brothers, they always had been, and he knew that no matter how much they exhausted him,  he’d be lost without them. They made his world better, they made his son’s world better, and if he lost one of them, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to properly function. He admired what she was doing, finishing her friend’s bucket list, and felt honored to be part of the quest.

However, before Calum had the chance to tell her as much, Stevie shook her head. “Sad hours are over,” she laughed as she brought her left hand up to wipe at her eyes. “What about you?” she asked, glancing at his arm. “Your tattoos are beautiful. I really like the intricate line work - it looks good on you - but it looks like someone’s been coloring outside the lines.”

Calum was mildly thrown off by the sudden shift in her attitude but found himself glancing at his forearms, at the tattoos she could easily see beneath the rolled sleeves of his shirt, and flushed as he caught sight of the neon marker staining his skin. “My son,” he explained, smiling sheepishly at her. “He likes coloring in my tattoos. Some of them are a little too intricate for him to stay inside the lines but he likes it and the markers stain.”

Calum could see Stevie’s face light up with a smile out of the corner of his eye. The crushing sadness, the loss, that had been so clear only a moment earlier faded slightly as she took in the marker staining his skin. “That’s so sweet,” she cooed, her accent growing thicker as she brought her left hand to her heart. “He’s got a living coloring book. How old is he?” She paused for a moment, considered her question, and then added, “If you don’t mind me asking, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Calum assured her, a soft smile on his lips as he nodded toward the photo of Tāne he kept on his station. “That’s him. He’s almost five.”

“Four and three quarters, thank you,” Ashton, who had been silent throughout their conversation, interjected with a bright grin as he was given the opportunity to talk about his pseudo-nephew.

“Four and three quarters,” Calum agreed with a laugh, “yeah. He gets offended if you forget that part.”

“I’m the same way with my height,” Stevie nodded, “I get it. He’d adorable. He looks just like you and I’m assuming he’s got the artist thing down, too?”

“He’ll put us all out of a job one day,” Calum agreed with a smile as he glanced up at her. “He was a tattoo artist for Halloween. Had Ash give him tattoos like mine and everything,” Calum confessed with a grin as he thought back to the shock of seeing his son, dressed in a small pair of Docs and covered in Sharpie.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that was incredibly adorable but also got you a lot of funny looks.” When Calum laughed, Stevie smiled. “I’m guessing the curls are what you used to look like?” she asked, glancing at the photo once more before she returned her gaze to Calum’s buzzed and blue hair.

“Mm, yeah. Once upon a time,” Calum nodded. Calum studied her, glancing at the green and brown mess of curls, before he asked, “What about you? I’m guessing the same was true for you before you chopped and dyed yours?”

“Brown, yeah. Curly? No. I wish. My hair was limp as fuck,” Stevie laughed as she tousled the green curls with her left hand. “It was gross and unhealthy so I cut it all off when I moved up here. I dyed it, too. I always wanted green hair and people don’t give a shit about your hair color here.”

“They did back home?” Calum asked, reaching out to wipe at her skin. When Stevie nodded, Calum asked, “Where is home?”

Stevie paused, staring at him as he added another line, before she said, “I’m sure you can tell by the accent, but I’m from the south. New Orleans. Well, not really New Orleans because if I was from there, they wouldn’t have cared about the hair - they see far weirder shit on the regular, believe me, but that’s the closest city you’d know.”

Calum nodded, certain that was true - he barely knew anything about New Orleans, let alone Louisiana as a whole - before he asked, “Why New York?”

“We had this running joke,” Stevie began, shifting in her seat as the discomfort of sitting still for nearly two hours started to set in, “that I was going to move to New York to become some obnoxious fucking fashion blogger or something and that Angela was going to follow me and be my photographer. That’s not exactly what happened but, well, close enough.”

“How close is close?” Calum asked as he pushed away from her and pulled off his gloves. “We can take a break for a second. Get up, move around. I’ll grab you some water.”

It was unlike him to be so invested in a client’s life but he felt at ease chatting with her. Something about her was easy, like talking to an old friend, and he felt himself growing more and more curious about her life. So, he kept the conversation flowing and was happy to hear her answer.

“I write for Rolling Stone,” Stevie told him, her voice following him as he moved toward the back to grab a bottle of water for himself and one for her. “Angela was going to be a photographer. Her editing skills were out of this world and she had an eye for detail like no one else. All of my work, the writing samples I sent in, they were a package deal. They all came with photos from her. We both had jobs lined up but… Anyway, I couldn’t stay at home so I took the job. Packed it all up and here I am.” Calum watched as she wandered around the shop, her right hand flexing as she attempted to wake it from where she’d sat with it so still for nearly two hours. She moved slowly, carefully, and paused at each flash sheet to study it just a little closer. “What about you?” she asked after a moment of silence, turning her head to glance at him over her should. “There’s a twinge of something not New York there.”

“Australia,” Ashton answered for him, a wide grin on his lips as he stood from his drawing table and stretched his arms. “All of us hail from the land down under. We packed it all up and moved here after Cal, Luke, and Mike finished high school. It was supposed to be a temporary thing but here we are, six years later.”

“You’re a lot farther from home than I am,” Stevie noted as she returned her gaze to the flash sheets on the wall. “But I guess some places just become like home, regardless of whether you mean for them to,” she offered with a shrug and Calum couldn’t help but agree.

He hadn’t meant for New York to become his home. He, like Ashton said, hadn’t intended to stay very long at all. The goal was to get enough experience under a talented enough artist to return home and open his own shop somewhere in Sydney. He wanted to be near his parents, near his sister, but something about the city sank its claws into his heart and kept him rooted in the Big Apple. He’d decided to stay before Tāne and now, now he couldn’t imagine disrupting his son’s life. Now, New York felt more like home than his real home did, though he sometimes felt the familiar ache to return to warmer weather and familiar scenes settle in his bones.

As the conversation lulled, Stevie returned to the chair and Calum found himself surprised at how quickly her appointment seemed to pass. Her initial nerves, the crippling fear that had seen her almost have a panic attack on the sidewalk in front of the shop, disappeared after the first few strokes of his machine. Getting started had been the hard part. Every part of her body had been tense and Calum was worried that she would stop breathing and pass out on him. However, once he’d settled into a groove and got her talking, sharing stories of her hometown and telling Ashton what bars to avoid should he ever venture down south for Mardi Gras, the appointment flew by. 

He didn’t get attached to clients often, didn’t truly enjoy their presence beyond them being easy to work with, but he liked Stevie. She was his dream client, easy to work with and good at sitting still. She didn’t seem to mind the pain - or, if she did, she didn’t say anything about it. She sat calmly, never forcing conversation but letting it flow naturally, and Calum found himself at ease as he worked on her. The rough morning he’d had melted as he talked with her (and occasionally Ashton) about music and he was almost surprised when he added the last stroke to her outline. Her upper arm was covered in a beautiful bouquet of roses, only missing the red and green ink, and he had to take a moment to admire the beautiful, finished (for now) product.

“Alright,” Calum began as he pulled away from her and nodded his head toward the full length mirror she’d first taken a glance at her arm in, “take a look and let me know how you feel.”

Stevie walked across the shop, groaning as she got the blood flowing in her legs once more, and stopped in front of the mirror. Calum watched her face, his eyes on trained on hers, and breathed a sigh of relief at the awed look she wore. Her left hand came up to her arm, her fingers not quite touch the fresh ink, as she stared at herself in the mirror. She was quiet, scrutinizing, but Calum could see the approval in her eyes. It looked like she’d wanted it to, exactly as she imagined it would, and that was all he wanted.

Stevie was quiet for a moment, gathering herself, before she turned away from the mirror to look at Calum. “She would’ve loved it,” she breathed, her voice cracking slightly as she smiled at him. “I know it’s not finished yet but it’s already so perfect. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Calum nodded, a small smile on his lips as he gestured for her to return to the chair, “I’m glad it’s doing her justice. Let me wrap it up and we’ll get you out of here.”

Wrapping her tattoo took only moments and, after she paid, Stevie was out the door with a final heartfelt thank you and an agreement to return the same time two weeks later. Calum watched her leave, his eyes glued to the door, and remained in his spot behind the desk until Ashton said, “She was cute.”

Calum blinked, surprised at the sound of Ashton’s voice, and rolled his eyes as he let the comment settle in his mind. “She’ll be back in two weeks,” he informed him with a sigh, “you can ask her out then.” Normally, that wouldn’t have irked him so much, imagining Ashton taking one of his clients out for drinks. However, something about him asking Stevie unsettled him and he didn’t like the annoyance he felt in the pit of his stomach as he imagined Ashton flirting with her.

However, the annoyed was short lived as Ashton tossed another ball of paper at his head. “Not for me, dickhead,” he huffed as he stood from his chair and turned off the lamp at his station. “For you. You two would look good together.”

At that, Calum turned and stared at his friend. It wasn’t in his nature to attempt to set him up, to even encourage him to date, and he wondered what the change of heart was about. However, he didn’t bother to ask as he stated plainly, “No,” and moved to clean his station so he could get home to Tāne.

“Look,” Ashton began as he crossed the shop to help him clean, “I know that you don’t want to make things difficult for Tāne and you’re still on edge after El but it’s been three years. One date won’t be the end of the world, mate.” He paused, weighing his words carefully, before he added, “You talked more with her today than you ever have with a client. You guys clicked.”

Calum was quiet as he considered Ashton’s words. He had spoken more with Stevie than he ever had any client. He’d felt comfortable with her, the conversation flew naturally and five hours passed in the blink of an eye, but he couldn’t bring himself to consider that as an option. He knew that time had passed for him to move on, he had moved on, but he didn’t want open himself up to another heartbreak. Not when the first one was still weighing so heavily on his life. So, instead of telling Ashton that he was afraid of loving and losing once more, he deflected the conversation.

“El’s lawyer called this morning,” he sighed as he returned the box of gloves to his station. “I’ve got other shit to deal with that doesn’t involve finding a girlfriend. And Stevie - she’s nice but she’s got other shit on her mind, too. Just leave it, mate.”

“Wait, El’s lawyer? She’s not still trying to get custody, is she?” Ashton asked as he stopped cleaning and turned his full attention to Calum.

“Mm,” he confirmed with a sigh as he dropped the bottle of antiseptic cleaner and took a seat on his stool. “Still thinks I’m an unfit parent. She thinks that she and fuckface will do a better job. They want to move to Boston and she wants to take him with them.”

“Fuck, Cal,” Ashton breathes as he reaches out to place a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. She doesn’t deserve custody and I’ll help you however I can. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded as he reached for the discarded tissues he’d used to wipe at the ink on Stevie’s tattoo. “I know.”

Calum knew that his friends would help however they could. He knew that, like Ashton, Michael and Luke would do whatever he needed of them to help him keep his son and the job he loved so much. He also knew that, when the dust settled around the latest in his ex’s attempts to unsettle his life, Ashton would return his attention to the topic of Calum’s lack of a partner and, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t exactly mind it. He was steadfast in his decision to focus on one problem at a time - his most pressing being his impending battle for custody - but maybe, just maybe, there would soon be room in his life for someone else. And maybe, just maybe, that would be the girl with the rose tattoo.

______________________________________________

Author’s Note: So. Thoughts? Feelings? I’m really excited for this. I’ve had this fic in mind for ages. The first chapter wasn’t as fluffy as I was imagining it would be nor is it as filled with Calum being a dad but there are some soft moments and I’m really looking forward to continuing it. I have it all planned out and I’m already halfway through chapter two I’m pretty stoked. Also, I’m trying to do it from both perspectives (Stevie’s and Calum’s because a) there are things about Stevie I don’t want you to know yet and b) it’s about single dad!Cal so. Anyway!).  Let me know your thoughts! 

Tag List (like this post or message me if you want to be added!): @toolazymyguy , @irwinkitten , @jamieebabiee , @glittersluke , @spicycal , @lusbaby , @everyscarisahealingplace, @brokenvirtualheartcollector , @if-it-rains-it-pours, @blisshemmings , @calumscalm , @lovemenowseemenever , @ijutreallylovezebras , @rhiannonmichelle , @p0laroidpictures​ , @tomscuddles , @loverofmineluke​ , @harrytreatspeoplewithkindnesss​ , @blueviiolence​ , @loveroflrh​ , @empathycth​ , @luckyduckydoo​ , @tobefalling​ , @bandsandbooksaremykink​ , @watch-how-she-burns , @megz1985​ , @wokeupinaustralia​ , @lucidlrh​ , @canterburyfiction​ , @cal-is-not-on-branding​ , @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o​

[hoplessdreamer9796]

BTS 8th Member - Your Friends

Best Friends: Kim Hanbin (B.I from Ikon. (Pretend he’s still in Ikon and YG didn’t snake one of their best artists.) Your mothers are best friends and so when you moved to Korea, he was the only person you knew so you clung to each other. He was also one of your best friends through high school. He is your best friend and you both have always been there for each other. The both of you tried alcohol for the first time together, which you stole from his father’s liquor cabinet. Were there for each other’s first relationships and first heartbreaks. You were there for his parents’ divorce at 12 (I made this up idk if it’s true). You ditched classes and went to go sit on the roof of your apartment building to talk about your futures together. His aspirations for music and yours to live peacefully. In your friendship group he is the grandfather that clings to his youth. He hates any physical activities other than mountain hiking but loves going on nights out. You both even got matching tattoos as soon as it was legal, and it will be explained later. “You can’t push me away Y/N! So, get angry, scream and shout but I’m not going anywhere! I’m your best friend that shit doesn’t work on me!”) Park Shinhye (Despite your age difference you two are best friends, you consider each other sisters. Grew close because you both work in the entertainment industry but both don’t have girls around you, you by being in BTS and her by being an actress so when you both met at an award show soon after BTS debuted you clicked. You both were there for each other threw everything. She’s one of your best friends and you often have movie nights when you’re both free. She cried for you when BTS won a daesang for the first time, that moment went viral. BTS walked off the stage, and were still visible by fans but near backstage, and you two ran at each other like dramatic losers as she was crying more than you were and you were both shouting at each other to stop crying while continuing to hug. Fans love that moment and your friendship. She often states that you are her best friend both in this industry and in life. “I never really thought it was possible to connect to someone like that. But I honestly think that in another life we were sisters.”) Min Sooah (Best friend from high school is your secretary, for now, and is one of your pillars. You would not be able to function without her. There’s an ongoing joke that she is basically your mother, you worry her to no end. She is very grateful to you. After her father broke his hip and was not able to continue working, she had to drop out of university to go to work. You gave her the job as your secretary despite her not being qualified. You needed someone you trusted, and you knew she would work hard. Now she is one of the most important people in your company. She is the Dad of the group always complaining about how “I gave up my youth to look after you brats and none of you have time to spend with me? Okay I see how it is. Daehyun this is your influence on them!”) Ok Hwayoung (Best friend from high school now she is your personal shopper. After university she became a personal shopper, and you thanked the sky’s because she chooses all of your clothes to pack when traveling or when you have formal business meetings. You like buying clothes but you hate the process of shopping and trying things on, so you tell her what pieces you want, and she’ll get it. She also organises your wardrobe ‘cause she’s OCD like that. She also is a hopeless romantic and is constantly trying to talk you and Hangyeol into giving up your partying lifestyle because, “How are we supposed to have a group wedding if you don’t let yourselves find the ones you idiots?!”) Lee Hangyeol (Best friend from high school he owns a mechanics and auto repair shop and he is the only one you trust with you cars. He is also the only one of your best friends who encourages you attitude towards your love life as he is also not into committed relationships. You're both each other’s wingmen. You guys are basically the epitome of lads’ lads when around each other. You’re the loud, annoying people in a bar gassing each other up to chug your drinks down. Whenever one wants to go on a night out the other is always down. “Who needs a relationship? Tequila is just as good. Gives me a fun night and then when the fun wears off it give me a headache and regrets. That’s basically a relationship.”) Tae Daehyun (Best friend from high school he works as a pd on tv shows mainly running man. He was also on the track team back in high school. The two of you often go out on runs together. After seeing what the industry is like behind the camera, he worries a lot for you. Especially since he knows no matter how crappy you feel you’d rather down the nearest bottle of alcohol than talk about it. So, he always tries to let you know if you need to talk, he’s there. Also hates how much you and Hangyeol drink and always tries to make sure you guys eat a proper meal before going out and drinking. He’s also the one in your friend group who can be bothered to cook, he got so offended when he found out you hired a personal chef but then he tasted her food and is okay with it. He’s the Mum of the group. “What the hell is wrong with you all? You can’t throw a knife at the apple on his his head! Are you crazy? See this is what I have to deal with Sooah. But if you weren’t so busy working, you’d know that!”) Ryeo Chungae (Best friend from high school and she works on the public relations for your company. When she first joined your company, she always felt like she got the job because she’s your friend, but you wouldn’t have given her the job if you didn’t think she could do it. She went through a hard time when her boyfriend cheated on her with her old boss. Instead of being scared of falling in love again she wants love. Trying to convince you and Hangyeol that it’s is amazing when secretly she is glad that you won’t be able to get hurt. She is a pushover in all aspects of life except for work. When it comes to work, she is a force to be reckoned with. So instead of staying at her old job with her boss she resigned after making a scene about the boss sleeping with her boyfriend which got said boss fired. When she is with all of your friends, she is also very outspoken and opinionated. However, when it comes to people she isn’t comfortable with her anxiety acts up. You and all your friends are protective of her in situations where her anxiety gets bad. Her ideal life is a Hallmark movie. “One day I’m gunna meet the man of my dreams. He’s gunna be tall and handsome and most importantly he’ll take me away from all of you dumbass motherfuckers.”) Hak Daeho (Best friend from high school he works at Songsun’s shop as and is in charge of customising cars. He is the one that never wants to go out and always wants to stay home. He prefers a night in with his friends than at some stupid club where Y/N and Hangyeol ditch a half hour after arriving, most of the time. He doesn’t have the best relationship with his family after they found out he didn’t want to become a lawyer like his parents and siblings. His parents kicked him out and cut him off. Y/N payed for his college tuition even though he protested, you just said it was a loan and that he can pay you back someday. However, after he had been able to save up to pay you back you told him to shut up and buy a damn apartment which is what he did. Thanking the universes for his friends. He stayed in an apartment with Hwayoung, Daehyun and Chungae during college and no matter how many times he couldn’t pay rent his friends always had his back. It also helped that every time you visited you stocked the fridge and freezer. He thinks of you all as family more than he does of his own family. “You guys are a bunch of fucking idiots. Like you’re my family but damn you guys are stupid.”) Park Soomi (Best friend from high school. She is the most subscribed to female Korean youtuber with 11 million subscribers. She is also and ambassador for Jeonsa cosmetics although at first, she didn’t want to be as she felt like it would be using her friendship with you to her advantage. However, after you convinced her to accept, she did. You also knew that you could trust her since she has always been honest with you and never expects anything from you. You also knew that she would be advantageous for your company so it’s not like you’re just giving her money your promoting your company through her brand. After you explained this she reluctantly agreed. She is the loud, chaotic crackhead of the group. Constantly doing dumb shit. “Hey guys my pineapple was being difficult long story short we no longer have a microwave.”) Im Kyungmin (Best friend from high school, he is a part of Soul & Bones, a hip-hop and house dance crew. When you were younger all of your friends would go to his contests. Everything you learned about dancing you learned from watching that crew. You always loved the way their dancing looked and the atmosphere they created. But you were realistic with your situation knowing you’d never get to dance. When Bang pd wanted you to be a trainee you were hesitant, but he practically dragged you to that audition. And during trainee days he helped you with your dancing. He says your better than him now, but you know you’re not. Soon after you became a billionaire Soul & Bones were set to end. Their investor pulled out and most dance crews are under entertainment companies unlike soul & Bones. Kyungmin was devastated, Soul & Bones was his whole life. So, when you decided to fund it he was conflicted. On one hand he was thankful and on the other hand he was guilty. But after you told him what the crew meant to you, how you were also friends with everyone else in the crew and couldn’t let it end when you could do something about it he was on board. You however made it clear you don’t own Soul & Bones you just pay for things. Now it is considered the best hip-hop dance crew in Korea and one of the best in the world. He is the one in your group who seems high most of the time but isn’t. “I think that pizza is thinking shit about me... I’m gunna eat it not ‘cause I want to but because it needs to die!”) Close Friends: Mark Tuan (You met at a BTS and Got7 collaboration for and you both clicked immediately because you were both from western countries, you were both raised in similar cultures so you had become close friends easily. It is also less lonely when you both miss your home countries if you’re around each other. It was surprising because your personalities are the opposite, but you bring him out of his shell. Whenever you guys meet you always speak in English and it’s a relief for both of you since it is your first language no matter how long you’re in Korea. You both also relate on how different your home countries’ standards are compared to Korea in terms of public image, behaviour and many other things. It’s very easy to be your true selves around each other. ) Choi Youngjae (You guys are the same age so you clicked easily. Even though you’re closer to Mark you’re still close to Youngjae. The guy is literal sunshine it hard not to like him. There is also a group of idols born in 1996 who he is a part of.) BTS and Got7 are both close to each other so you are friendly with all the members. But you are the closest with Mark. Woo Jiho (Zico. You both met when BTS and Block B did a collaboration at mama. Namjoon and him knew each other but they weren’t that close, so it was unexpected when you and he hit it off. You are both close friends and hang out when you can. He often asks for your opinion with his music and the two of you once spent an entire night just messing around in the studio. He says that you are one of the only people to get him to take a break, when he’s in work mode, and to have some fun. Clubbing isn’t really his scene so you and Jaemin often have to beg him to go out drinking with you guys. He used to have feelings for you but after some time in the friendzone he realised he is okay with you not having feelings for him as long as you are in his life. No one knows about the feelings he had for you.) Lee Jaemin (A YouTuber who has 7 million subscribers. The two of you met through Jiho and got along very well because you both like alcohol and clubbing. However, he maintains a clean public image, so your company is fine with you being seen in public together. Your members aren’t very fond of him since the time he showed up at the dorm drunk looking for you and threw up in a plant. They think he is a bad influence, but you know what he was going through and know he’s a good person. He feels like he can be himself around you without feeling judged. Yoongi really hates him and the friendship you two have.) Kang Yujin (She is an Instagram model who has 18 million followers and 2 million subscribers on YouTube. She met you and Jiho through Jaemin. However, once the public found out about your friendship many thought she was using you in order to work with Jeonsa cosmetics. But you knew this wasn’t true. Yujin was the kind of person to drive to McDonald's for you at three in the morning when you had a nightmare about your father and wouldn’t tell her what it was about. The kind of person to kill spiders for you even though she’s scared of bugs too. And due to the public’s reaction, she was scared you would end up thinking the same of her. You told her how you knew what kind of person she was and in order to make a statement to the public you both posted a photo together on her Instagram announcing her endorsing your company. She is a very close friend and an older sister figure to you.) You, Zico, Jaemin and Yujin often go bowling together or go out to eat and are also drinking buddies you are very close to them. The four of you are often spotted in public together. Kang Seungyoon (You both met through Hanbin and both of your personalities go very well together. Musically you both also mesh very well together. You both also often play pool together and he gets triggered at how he’s played longer but you kick his ass at it. Whenever you both have the time you go out for food and drinks and spend all nigh playing pool and all night, he complains that you’re a cheater and he won’t stand for it. He’s a very good friend.) Kim Jisoo (You met her first, soon after they debuted, in the bathroom. The two of you clicked and then you met the rest of the group through her. It was easy to become friends with them due to BTS and Blackpink both being at the top of K-pop, so you were a lot more understanding of each other’s situations. She is a very close friend of yours and is an older sister figure to you. She always gets excited when you send her the new launches of Jeonsa cosmetics and does vlives talking about it.) Kim Jennie (Despite Jennie being introverted you charmed her during your first conversation. She found it very easy to talk to you despite being slightly nervous and you were her sunbae. She was surprised how easy it was to talk to you. You are a people person, and she is not so like most other extroverts she’s met she thought you would clash but surprisingly your personalities match very well. You bring out the fun in her.) Lalisa Manobal (Lisa. She looks up to you a lot in terms of your dancing. She is very clingy towards you when you meet, and you love her crackhead energy. You learnt to speak Thai early after BTS’ debut, this made Lisa feel like she could connect to you on a deeper level. You have also helped her with the racist side of K-pop, her being Thai and you being half Arabic you’re both no stranger to how harsh netizens are. As you have been going through it for longer than her you are able to comfort her (kind of because you’re emotionally stupid but you try and push that aside for your friend).) Park Chaeyoung (Rose. She was also born in a western country so when she met you it helped her feel less homesick. You both often talk about childhood TV shows together and relate to each other when people talk about Korean things from their childhood that you have no idea about. Even though you’re from different places it’s nice having someone who understands the difficulties of moving from western culture to eastern.) Kwon Jiyong (Gdragon. You guys met backstage at an award show when BTS and Bigbang met. The groups are casual with each other, but you and he became very close especially because you’re friends with many YG artists. You also both like to party a lot and often go out together. He views you as a very close friend and is often nagging at you to eat and rest properly You try and hang out whenever you both have time.) Matthew Kim (BM. You two met during an inkigayo. He got lost and was swearing in English. So, you approached him and asked in English if he was okay. You helped him find his way back to his dressing room. He knew who you were and that you were British as BTS was well known then. However, he was expecting you to be arrogant and was pleasantly surprised with how nice you were. You and he got along well as you have similar personalities. Both extroverted. The two of you also quickly found out about your shared love of partying and clubbing and now you often go out together.) Peniel Shin, Ashley Choi, Amber Liu, Stephanie Young Hwang (These are some of your other western born K-pop friends.) Red velvet (You are good friends with the group mainly Joy as you are the same age. You, them and Blackpink try to go out together when you can. Irene is also very protective over you and sees you like a little sister.) Park Chanyeol (You have very similar attitudes you were good acquaintances but then you both worked together on the Goblin ost (Pretend it was you instead of Punch p.s I love that song so fucking much.) He always tries convincing you to let him drive your cars and you always say no. He’s a very fun person and you guys have a good laugh together.) You’re friendly with the rest of the Exo members but the closest to Chanyeol. Your best friends are: Hanbin, Shinhye, and all of your friends from high school. However, you are still close with the rest of your friends.

[mychemicalficrecs]

if you could, just some absolutely solid kidfic? could be danger days or "canon" or anything. just like the top tier ones tho. idc if its short! and no waycest please <3 (ps glad to see you back 😘)

Thanks nonnie! <3 I’ve made a bunch of rec lists with similar themes (linked below for your convenience) but apparently never a proper kid fic one!

Frank And/Or Gerard Are Parents Fun Ghoul/Party Poison Taking Care of the Girl The Killjoys and the Girl Frank/Gerard and Mpreg Mikey Mpreg

Kid Fic

In A Pretty How Town by fleurdeliser, tuesdaysgone, Frank/Gerard, 23k, Explicit. Single dad Frank Iero moves with his son to a new town. Everyone is nice, but the mayor, Gerard Way, is positively too good to be true.

Professional Healers by synonomy, Frank/Gerard, 34k, Explicit. Frank never wanted to be a pediatrician.

I Know What It Means to Me by mistresscurvy, Frank/Gerard, 9k, Explicit. Gerard didn't go to his single parents support group expecting to find love, but it found him there when Frank showed up one week. A single dads AU.

Envision the Magic by innocent_wolves, Frank/Gerard, 69k, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard is a talented magician, responsible for much of the success of the famous Envision Destiny cruise ship. He's also one of those people. You know, one of those people who just seem to take up all the space they come across with their arrogance and confidence. You wouldn't wanna touch their personality with a 10-foot pole, but still people admire them. That is beyond Frank. Working behind the cruise ship bars and seeing Gerard pretty much every day, he can't understand what's so great about him. Besides, everybody else doesn't have to deal with his snide remarks and rude comments. Because if there's one thing Gerard seems to love, it's the act of constantly pestering Frank.

Against the Wind by theopteryx, Frank/Gerard, 21k, Explicit. Frank is the tutor for the two young children of Michael and Alicia Way. He has always been sickly, but when he begins to fall seriously ill he tries to hide it from his employers, terrified he will lose his position and have nothing. When Michael’s older brother Gerard unexpectedly returns from the continent, however, his problems only grow.

Forever, Now by harriet_vane, Gen, Frank/Gerard, Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Brian/Greta, 227k, Teen And Up Audiences. Kidfic! Brian rescues kid!Gerard and Mikey from life on the streets, and eventually everyone finds a family.

Hounds Tooth Hearts by jatty, Frank/Gerard, 2k, General Audiences. Every year the teachers made them decorate boxes to receive valentines from their classmates on Valentine's Day. The year before, Gerard had been given nothing except a mean letter from another student. Distressed by the story of his classmates' cruelty, Frank is determined to make sure that this year is one Gerard won't have to regret!

Sidekicks by jatty, Frank/Gerard, 12k, Mature. Frank doesn't want to spend three weeks of his summer vacation at Tranquil Maples Camp for Kids. The whole thing feels so juvenile! He's in sixth grade. He doesn't want to spend his days making crafts and walking in the woods... At least Gerard's unique spin on each of their crafting tasks is enough to keep things interesting. Unfortunately, they don't get long to stay friends. After leaving the camp, Gerard fails to keep in touch and Frank--through years--commits to the idea that he'll never see his old friend again. That is, until he agrees to be a counselor at a camp during his sophomore year at college and there's a familiar face at the counselor's induction meeting.

A Constant Work in Progress by onceuponamoon, Frank/Gerard, 33k, Explicit. Frank spends his time at Cedar Creek Elementary sucking at answering the phones, playing nurse, spinning in his chair, and avoiding glares from Principal Bryar. His life gets turned upside down when his cousin Dani gets thrown in jail and he suddenly has custody of her three kids. Frank copes with the abrupt change with help from his mother, his friends, and this Gerard guy that he (sometimes literally) can't seem to quit running into.

Vampires Will Never Hurt You (But I Make No Promises About Zombies) by Solarcat, Frank/Gerard, 1k, General Audiences. Gerard clenches his fists tighter. "It's a disease," he says defensively. [Elementary School AU]

The Heart You Need by orphan_account, Frank/Gerard, 92k, Explicit. How the Killjoys became the Killjoys. ...if the Killjoys were telepathic space pirates. (Featuring superheroes and sidekicks, sneaky illegal activities after dark, broken hearts and bitter grudges, and a whole lot of get up and go.)

Devotion to the Domestic by onceuponamoon, Frank/Gerard, 4k, Explicit. “This is the best decision I’ve ever made,” Frank says, licking the residue of the most spectacularly delicious plate (or three) of homemade mashed potatoes with brown gravy from a spot he’d missed on his inner wrist. “Seriously, if I had a do-over, I’d pick you every time, Gee.

Babysitter by silentdescant, Gen, Frank/Gerard, 2k, General Audiences. Frank Iero: an obnoxious little shit since birth.

The Sad Dad Club by mousefrnk, Frank/Gerard, Ray/Mikey, 85k, Explicit. Ex-frontman Frank Iero is a single dad in New Jersey doing his best to raise his three girls. He meets Ray and Gerard, two dads with sons in the same class as one of his girls. Along with Gerard’s brother Mikey (who is soon to be a dad himself), they make plans to hang out every Friday, asking each other for advice and getting some much-needed adult social interaction. Thus, the Sad Dad Club is born.

Séance Weather by dear_monday, Gen, 20k, General Audiences. It all begins with the worst storm in fifty years. Or, in other words, how Frank meets the Ways and learns to embrace the dark side. An Addams Family AU.

Youngling by iamdali, Ray/Mikey, 5k, Mature. Ray laughs. “Uh huh. You do realise this is going to make it harder to convince everyone that we didn’t name our child after a Star Wars character?”

You Only Hear The Music (When Your Heart Begins To Break) by Acadjonne, Frank/Mikey, 28k, Mature. Mikey and Frank have known each other for years. They're roommates, and best friends. They're also friends with benefits. The arrangement is casual, and it suits them both. Somewhere along the way, Mikey develops feelings for Frank, but he pushes them aside. They aren't important, he'll be fine. Or, Mikey is fine, until he somehow ends up pregnant a year into this thing with Frank, and all of a sudden, he's got more to deal with than just how long he'll be able to hide his feelings for Frank or how the hell he's supposed to afford his transition.

I Saw Mikey Kissing Santa Clause by orphan_account, Mikey/Pete, 5k, Not Rated. In which Mikey is a tattoo artist and falls in love with florist Pete in the most awkward way possible.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 53

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50 || CHAPTER 51 || CHAPTER 52

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: im sorry.

one request and probably the last one for this story. ill try to fit the others in the sequel!

Chapter 53 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

The honk of Louis' car took me out of my thoughts and I quickly put my vans on and rushed outside. I saw him send me an exaggerated smile as he kept honking until I was sitting next to him on the passenger's side and I quickly put my hand over his on the wheel.

"Oh my god, you're so annoying!" I joked with a laugh, making him frown as his lips parted.

"Look who's talking!" he added, making me laugh even more.

I rolled my eyes and put my seat belt on right before he got back on the road. We remained silent for a few minutes but Louis finally glanced at me before looking in front of him again.

"Where's Niall today?" he asked cautiously, making me shrug. "He seems busy these days."

I glanced by the window and sighed, closing my eyes and licking my lips. Of course I missed Niall but I knew he was busy and it was alright. I didn't want to become the kind of girlfriend that needed to spend 24/7 with her boyfriend. I've never been like that when we were just friends and although it was obviously different now, I wanted to still remain the same person. I still wanted to be me and not feel like I've changed for him or like I need him to breathe. Of course, it sort of went hand in hand with the part of me that was jealous and insecure but I knew that these flaws made everything so much harder on both of us. Of course, I had reasons to feel like that now but I knew I had two choices : to get over it and not hold grudges, or to get over him and not forgive him. The first option was what I was aiming for.

"Are you two okay now?" Louis added, clearly concerned.

I turned to him and sent him a fond smile, tilting my head.  I never thought i'd have so many affinities with Louis but the more I hung out with him, the more I realized how similar we were about pretty much everything. When Niall and I were only friends, I never really took the time to get to know him. He was with Eleanor and to me, they came as a pair. Now, I was seeing a part of him that I didn't notice back then and it made me see how incredible of a human being he was. I pushed my hair over my shoulder and shrugged.

"We're better."

"Did you forgive him?"

I chuckled and looked down. I hated how he could read me so easily sometimes but also, it was comforting. I was not the type to confide much, so having someone who already knew seemed convenient.

"Not yet, but i'm working on it." I confessed in a low tone. "It's not really what he did that I can't forgive, i'm just mad that it makes me even more insecure and scared."

"With reason!" Louis argued, talking a bit louder. "He didn't cheat on you and I know he never would, but that went over the limit. I mean I don't get it. How can he take care of you, and love you, and do things for you... and then the very same night, he goes and flirts with some random chick he met at a bar. That makes no sense!"

"It makes total sense." I admitted low, looking down at my hands as I played with my fingers. "He was already taking care of me when we were just friends. He did things for me, he loved me... it's all stuff he's used to. But not being faithful to me. He never had to stop himself from shagging other girls before. He never had to do that before because we were just friends."

We both went silent and after a while, I felt Louis' hand reach for mine on my lap. He squeezed my fingers hard and I had to swallow to keep my tears in.

"He'll learn." he let out while nodding. "I'll hit him a few times behind the head and he'll learn."

His words made me burst into laughter and I squeezed his hand back, turning to look at him. His lips curled too and this time, we laughed at the same time. My smile fell a bit when he took his hand back to put it on the wheel and I licked my lips, staring down at my hands again.

"I'm just scared he'll stop loving me, and..."

Louis parked the car, undid his seat belt and turned his whole body in my direction, giving me his full attention. Instead to do the same, I kept staring at my fingers, my hands now damp because of stress and I was not even sure why.

"Hey, hey," he started in a whisper, reaching for my hand again. "You can tell me anything."

I knew and I sighed, turning to look at him, my eyes finally meeting his.

"Sometimes I wonder if I really love him as much as I think I do." I let out, making Louis' facial expression turn into surprise. "I've loved him for decades. Is it possible that I just... I don't know, that I just wanted him for so long that I'm just with him because I finally have him?"

Reaching for my other hand, Louis squeezed both of them hard enough to keep my attention on him. He moved his chin down but his eyes opened wider as they never left mine.

"Darlin', listen to me." he said slowly as I bit my bottom lip. "I'm not gonna pretend I know how you feel or what you should do. But loving someone for a long time and very intensely is not a bad thing, and it's not wrong. And just because you've loved someone since forever doesn't mean that it became a banal or insignificant feeling, or that it left. Some couples live together until they die and their love was always real." he took a short pause. "What about you, right here, right now... how do you feel about him?"

"I love him." I immediately answered. "I love him more than anything, more than anyone, and I can't imagine ever loving someone else that way. But i'm hurt, and i'm sad, and i'm scared, and jealous, too. And all these emotions... they're draining me. I'm exhausted."

I heard the 'click' of my seat belt and ended up in Louis' arms quickly when he pulled me into a hug I desperately needed without knowing. I was not even surprised that he squeezed me tight against him and I held him as close as I could, as if he could disappear. I buried my face in his sweatshirt and brushed my nose gently on it, inhaling his scent. It was reassuring and I tried to swallow my tears again when I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"We'll be late." Louis finally said in a very low tone before he hugged me even tighter and finally let go. He looked down at me and raised his eyebrows again, his voice soft. "You're okay?"

I nodded and he sent me a small smile before we both got out of the car. He opened the door for me and we walked inside, following the guy in the back of the shop.

"Who's first?"

I smiled more and moved my hand up slightly.

"Moi, as usual."

"You say that like i'm a fuckin' coward!"

As an answer, I just laughed and sat down, handing the guy my piece of paper and leaning my elbows on my knees.

"Black?"

"Yes, just black."

I closed my eyes for a few seconds as I felt the needles in the skin of my back but finally opened them again to look at Louis who was staring at the drawing I had brought.

"Why get the tattoo of a heart? It's not even well-drawn." he asked with a frown before his face suddenly changed. "Ah. It has something to do with Niall doesn't it?"

I sent him a smile and shrugged a shoulder.

"I've always wanted something that represented our friendship but you know him, he'd never get a tattoo with me." I explained, making Louis chuckle and nod. "So one morning he was late and I asked him to write his nickname on a piece of paper and he was so busy and in a rush he just wrote it without thinking and I got it tattooed on my lower back. It was at the beginning of our relationship, and I thought I could add a heart around it."

"Cheesy." Louis opened his eyes wide and leaned against his chair.

"I know."

"Does he know you got his name tattooed? And in his handwriting too?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed before raising my nose up.

"You think he saw me naked since that day?"

Louis laughed but shook his head.

"A few times I reckon."

It only took a few minutes for the artist to be done and when I felt him wipe the ink off my skin, I turned my head to him and thanked him. Louis got up and went to see the heart around my older 'Nialler' tattoo and nodded slowly. I didn't know if Niall would notice it but we never really discussed the other tattoo and I didn't insist or anything. I knew he had noticed though because sometimes, his fingertips would brush exactly where his name was and somehow, it made me happy.

We switched place and I waited until he got something on his arm too. It was a date but I didn't mention it and after we paid, we just got out of the tattoo shop and I brought my arms around myself. It was already november and despite my sweater, I was still cold.

"Does it have to do with Eleanor?" I just asked, looking up at him. "Your new tattoo."

"Mmhm, date we met."

"Aren't you dating Briana?"

"Dating?" he chuckled, glancing at me and pushing his hands in his pockets. "No!"

I looked up at him and we stopped on both sides of his car, near the front doors. I watched him play with his keys and the sound made me suddenly anxious. I stared at him and it suddenly hit me: something wasn't right. I leaned slightly against the car to get his attention but when I couldn't, I let out a short 'hey' and instinctively, he looked up, his sad eyes meeting mine.

"What's wrong, Louis?" I asked in a soft tone, feeling light tinglings at the bottom of my back due to my tattoo. "You can tell me anything, you know?"

He stared at me a first more seconds and finally sighed through his nose.

"I know Liv, I know."

Without a word, he opened the door and sat in front of the wheel, closing the door a bit roughly. I licked my lips and nibbled on my bottom one for a few seconds before sitting back in the car with him. I didn't insist, there was no need to, as long as he knew I was there and always would be, that's all that mattered.

He drove in silence until we were at the restaurant and when we sat at a table, we started talking like nothing had happened. We didn't talk about Eleanor, Briana, or even Niall. We just laughed at old stories from the tour, talked about family and tried to keep everything light and fun. It felt good not to think about my problems for a few hours but as soon as I was back in front of Niall's house, it all came back to me. I looked at the front door knowing he wasn't home yet, but I couldn't get myself to get out of Louis' car. I had no idea why but I felt like bursting into tears for no fucking reason and when Louis' hand reached for my thigh, I jumped slightly, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Hey, do you want me to stay?"

I didn't dare turning to him, I just looked at Niall's house, who was supposed to be also mine by now, and shook my head slowly.

"No, I'll be fine." I let out in a low tone. "I'll text you later."

A few more seconds went by as I remained motionless but after a while, I turned to Louis and kissed his cheek, my palm pressed on his face.

"Thanks for today."

"Welcome, princess."

I rolled my eyes with a small smile. "Don't call me that."

He smiled more and I pulled away, tilting my head. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to be alone, and for a reason I ignored, I didn't feel at ease. I felt nervous and sad even if there was no reason for me to feel like that.

"Love you."

"Love you too." I replied in a low tone before sighing and finally getting out of his car.

He waited until I was inside to leave and I stood by the door for a few minutes, letting my eyes roam on the living room. It was quiet and I just walked to our room to drop my stuff. I sat in bed, feeling weird, and closed my eyes, trying to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. I missed Niall, and it was probably why I felt like shit. Holding on to that thought, I got up and walked to the wall mirror, turning around and twisting my body slightly before moving the bottom of my shirt up. A small smile appeared on my lips when I noticed the heart now drawn around Niall's name and ran my fingers on it. It didn't bleed and was barely swollen and I loved the effect it had. It was a simple heart, not equal at all, that Niall had doodled at the bottom of a note that he had left for me one morning, but it looked nice with his hand-written name. I kept tracing the outline of the heart with the tip of my fingers and I swallowed a lump in my throat before whispering a few words, as if he could hear me.

"I love you so fucking much."

                                                      ----

I waved at Niall from the couch when he walked in and he sent me a small but awkward smile. He got undressed and changed into comfortable clothes before sitting next to me on the couch. Like a magnet, I cuddled his side and I felt him tense next to me. I tried to ignore it as I leaned my head on his shoulder. He smelled good : a mix of sweat and cologne, and I brought my chin up to reach his jaw with my lips, leaving a soft kiss on it. His stubble scratched slightly my skin and I liked it a lot more than I should have. I reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers but they remained limp in mine and it made me feel a bit more anxious.

I moved away from him and sat better on the couch in a way that I could face him. I waited until he'd look at me but he just got up without sending me a glance and my eyes followed him until he was out of the room.

"Niall?" I asked, realizing I didn't talk louder enough. "Niall!"

Quickly, I rushed to the kitchen but stopped myself near the wall as he opened the fridge and took a beer out. He leaned against the counter and I felt my heart drop in my chest. Fuck I loved him, I loved him so much. I loved him more than I did when I was a kid. I loved him more than I did before we started dating. I loved him more than I did yesterday. I loved him more than I did a minute ago.

"Look, Liv, we need to talk."

I held my breath at his words, realizing I hadn't heard his voice today yet and the first thing I heard was this horrible sentence. I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly nauseous as he reached again in the fridge for an other beer but quickly opened it for me before handing it to me. Reluctantly, I took a few steps closer and grabbed the beer. My fingers brushed against his and I swallowed again but this time, it was tears. I didn't say anything, I just waited, looking at him as he took a few sips from his drink and avoided my eyes but when his gaze finally met mine, I knew it was too late.

"I think we should break up, Olivia." he let out firmly. "At least, for now."

It felt like someone had hit me in the head. I could have sworn having someone literally rip your heart out of your chest didn't hurt as bad as these words in his mouth. I shook my head slightly and slowly as my lips parted. The beer slipped out of my hand and ended on the floor but surprisingly, he didn't even budge or look at it. He kept staring at me and I took a step back.

"No." I whispered with a frown. "Why?"

He pushed himself off the counter and passed his free hand in his hair, making something stir in my stomach. He couldn't do that to me, could he?

"I'm just not ready for a relationship." he explained, raising his shoulders. "I don't want to commit, be official, and everything."

"I'm.. i'm not the first girl you date. You dated Maya before me? And a few other girls?"

Everything he said didn't make sense and my stomach hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up or pass out.

"I didn't love any of them, I knew I wouldn't stay with them." he explained, putting his beer away and taking a few steps closer to me. Without thinking, I backed away and shook my head again. "But what we have is real.. it's deep, I mean, it could last forever."

"That makes no sense." I let out very low with a frown. "What are you talking about?"

He walked up to me and this time, I didn't move. The way he looked down at me made me swallow and melt at the same time. His gaze was soft and when his fingers reached for my cheek, I realized his touch was gentle and I could almost swear he was about to kiss me. He didn't, though. Why would anyone kiss someone they're breaking up with? Why would anyone kiss someone they're deliberately breaking the heart of?

"I've never been in love before and I knew whatever I had with them wouldn't last. But you and me? It's different. We could spend our lives together."

"And we were supposed to." I pointed out, feeling tears run down my cheeks. "But you're ruining it."

He didn't say anything but his face changed and I could see how hurt he was. It was all over his face and I didn't understand why he was in pain for leaving me.

"I'm sorry, Olivia." he added, shaking his head a bit, his eyes never leaving mine. "I know it's selfish but i'm just not ready... i'm not ready to accept this as what i'll go through every day. We fight and we make up and then cuddle on the couch... this is not what I want for me, this is not what I want for us."

"Don't fucking lie, Niall. You're just not ready to accept that you'll only wake up to me every morning, that you won't get to see an other naked girl dress up and leave your room at dawn and that you'd have to call me to tell me you'll stay late at the bar with your friends. It's your freedom you're saving over our love. It's your fucking freedom that you don't want to lose. And clearly you love it more than you love me."

He stayed silent for a while but I could read in his eyes that I was right and that realization hurt more than anything else. It seemed like I couldn't breathe anymore and I closed my eyes to focus on the beatings of my heart as I tried to inhale deeply. I was still alive, right? Because it didn't feel like it at all.

"I love you so much. So fucking much."

His voice seemed to reach my soul and I opened my eyes but suddenly, I was mad at him and I hated him for hurting me, for ruining this love story but also this friendship, for doing what he promised he wouldn't do. He pressed his palm more against my face but I quickly and roughly pushed his arm away.

"Don't you fucking touch me, don't you fucking dare tell me you love me!" I said angrily. "You don't love me! I love you!"

"But I do! Olivia I do love you!"

I chuckled meanly and shook my head, moving past him.

"D'you want to know where you can put that love, Niall?"

His face was still showing pain but at that point, I didn't care.

"Don't say that Liv, please..."

I turned around and shook my head, barely seeing him because of all the tears flooding my eyes. I felt like I was going to drown and I was okay with it. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

"Oh fuck off, Niall!"

It came out a lot louder than intended and I even surprised myself. I didn't wait for his answer and rushed to our room, feeling something stir inside me at the irony. It wasn't 'our' room anymore and would never be again. I grabbed one of my bags and threw a bunch of stuff in it randomly without really thinking and when I walked back to the living room, Niall quickly turned to me, his eyes softening as they met mine. I felt tears coming to my eyes again but kept them in, swallowing them so hard it actually physically hurt. This whole situation hurt me physically and mentally and there was nothing I could do about it.

I stared at him, trying to engrave this image on my retina forever... the last image of my best friend I was ever going to see. He put his hands in his pockets and glanced down before looking up at me. I thought he was going to say something and I wanted to hear his voice again more than anything. I wanted him to tell me he was joking, or that he had changed his mind. I wanted him to tell me he loved me more than his freedom, more than his comfort, more than anything else in the world. I wanted him to tell me he couldn't live without me. But he didn't.

"I'll pick the rest of my stuff later."

I walked to the door and as soon as my back was facing him, I started crying again, but in silence this time. I was not crying angrily or sobbing anymore. I was crying in a sad, defeated and hopeless way. My hand reached for the doorknob and i heard his voice.

"I love you, Olivia. I always will. You're the love of my life."

I remained motionless for a few seconds and swallowed again. There were so many things I wanted to tell him but no matter what I said, nothing would change his mind, I could feel it. I just opened the door and left without closing it behind myself. Nothing was worth it anymore. I had lost my best friend, my boyfriend, my lover... I had lost everything.

[conorxoblivion]

{ B A S I C S }

LEGAL NAME: Dorothea Craven Unknown

NICKNAMES: Thea None

ALIAS: Conor

GENDER / PRONOUNS: Female / She/Her

AGE: 28 years old

DOB: January 25th, 1893 Unknown

PLACE OF BIRTH: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA Unknown

YEARS ON MERIDIUM: 99 years

ATTUNEMENT: Air

NATIONALITY: American Unknown

ETHNICITY: African-American, African-Haitian, & white ( English, Irish, French, & German ) Unknown

OCCUPATION: Pilot Unknown

LANGUAGES: English (fluent), French (fluent), Creole (conversational), ASL (elementary proficiency/conversational)

RELIGION: Agnostic 

ORIENTATION: Demisexual Biromantic

DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS: OCCASIONALLY | NO | NO

{ P H Y S I C A L  A T T R I B U T E S }

HAIR COLOR: Black

EYE COLOR: Brown

HEIGHT: 5′-6″

WEIGHT: 134 lbs

TATTOOS: --

SCARS: --

{ P E R S O N A L I T Y }

TRAITS

+ spunky, daring, witty, charming, bold, dedicated

- challenging, outspoken, impulsive, reactive, skeptical

MBTI: ESFP

ALIGNMENT: True Neutral

LIKES: TBD

DISLIKES: TBD

GOALS/DREAMS: TBD

FEARS: TBD

{ R E L A T I O N S H I P S }

PARENTS

Unknown (mother) - Deceased

Unknown (father) - Deceased

SIBLINGS

Unknown

ROMANTIC

Unknown

{ B I O G R A P H Y }

trigger/content warnings: none

OFFICIAL BIOGRAPHY

You were born to a small family, or at least you think you were. You might have been married judging by the tan line from a ring on your finger, but the ring is long gone along with any other kinds of belongings or items to indicate who you are. You can’t be too sure these days and it’s not because of the years that have passed on this island. The only thing you remember are the waves, the salty air, and the sand. When you woke up, everything was fuzzy and your head ached. How you got there, why you were there, and when you got there. You don’t even know when you’re from. Most importantly, you don’t even know yourself or who you’ve left behind.

When you first woke up, you were floating on a piece of wood and you just couldn’t seem to drown. When you woke up a second time, you were somewhere on an island, far away from anyone. You lived on the island for some time without having contact with anyone, hiding whenever you heard a strange noise, thinking you were alone on this island. You were scared because you don’t know who or where you are. Somehow though, you have enough sense and skill to take care of yourself. Eventually, someone finds you as you talk to yourself and mark the days you’ve spent on the island on a tree. You don’t know how they heard you, but they did. Once they told you everything was okay, all the dust settled and the breeze stopped blowing.

You choose a new name for yourself because you don’t remember your real one. You are shy at first, but soon take on a new personality. You aren’t too sure about how “new” your personality is, but no one on the island knows you or has even heard of you. The tan line on your ring finger slowly fades away and you begin to forget about who may be missing you. And as the years go by, you can’t even be sure what year you are from. You call yourself the woman out of time as you lose track and learn new things from new castaways. You live among the survivors unattached to people and you act indifferent and carefree, claiming you’ve moved on and live in the now. Still, you can only hope though that eventually, the next survivor will have some information as to who you are.

PRE-MERIDIUM

Dorothea “Thea” Craven, was born in 1893 and grew up in the early 1900s during the height of aviation. She became interested in flying at a young age and was very determined and adventurous. She eventually learned to fly and made it her life and a career. 

Her family traveled quite a bit when she was younger and learning to speak, so she developed an interest in adventure and languages. Because of this, her accent is difficult to pinpoint. Some may call it a Transatlantic or Mid-Atlantic accent. Her free spirit never changed and she ultimately became a pilot. It is unknown what she was a pilot for whether it was for military, expeditionary, or show purposes.

When Dorothea wanted to become a pilot, she was not allowed to obtain a license at that time in the United States. She ultimately ended up moving to France for a time to take lessons and earn her license.

MERIDIUM

She crash landed in the water around Meridium while she was on a solo flying expedition. It is unknown how and why the plane crashed and whether it was a strange malfunction, pilot error, or sabotage. She has been unable to recover the wreckage of the plane and is unable to determine what really happened to her. 

When Thea landed in the water, she hit her head and when she woke up, she had no memory of who she was or how she got there. She didn’t even know she was flying the plane that crashed. She woke up on a piece of wreckage from the plane and soon floated until she hit land. It is suspected her air attunement manifested shortly after landing in the water as she never drowned.

She landed on a side of the island where no one saw her and she thought she was alone. She survived on the island for a few days until she was found by the rest of the survivors on Meridium. Before she was found, she hid from any slight noise that was made, even if it was far away, which she didn’t realize was far away.

Since she didn’t know her name, she chose a new one for herself. She settled on the name Conor, but she wasn’t entirely sure why she chose it. It just spoke to her. 

Conor doesn’t remember anything about where she was from, who her family was, or even what year she’s from. She remembers skills and some historical facts, but gets things confused, especially since she’s learned so much about current events from newer survivors. 

More will be updated as Conor learns more about herself / as I figure out stuff.

{ A M N E S I A }

THE BASICS

Long story short, Conor remembers things about the outside world and basic things, but she doesn’t remember personal details about them or her own personal memories. It is unknown why she doesn’t remember anything and whether it is mental or physical trauma or something else.

Conor hasn’t made much of an effort to try and recover her memories because she finds it better to not remember what she’s lost than to remember everyone and everything she’s left behind. She’s seen what it’s like for other survivors to cope with the loss of their homes, families, friends, and their old lives. 

Conor still gets easily confused about details mainly because over time she’s learned more about the outside world in more modern ways and gets them confused with what she knows and what she’s learned.

At times, remembering things or thinking about what she does know feels like an out of body experience. She remembers things but they feel so far away.

She thinks she must have been married or at least engaged because when she was found, she had a ring tan line on her finger, but has never figured out what happened. Conor does feel sad sometimes like she’s missing someone and may sometimes cry in private, but she’s learned to repress those feelings over time as she’s given up on remembering who they are. 

She obviously knows she’s not from modern times or really any time after the 1940s, but she can’t pinpoint her actual birth year and when she grew up. With so much time on the island and spending so much time with more castaways from modern times, she feels much more modern. 

EXAMPLES

Conor knows what a car is and how it operates and that the cars she knew were different than they are now, but she doesn’t know if she had a car, who taught her how to drive, or how cars look different than they do now.

Conor knows films exist and has seen older films such as A Trip To The Moon (1902), but she doesn’t remember that she knows about them because she saw them when she was ten years old and not because some film major crash landed on the island and told her about it. 

Conor loves and misses music and listened to it a lot. She knows she listened to music on records, but couldn’t tell you specifically what her favorite song was (she does know of specific artists and songs) or if she ever went to parties where they played music.

{ I N T E R V I E W }

What do you remember last before landing here?

The woman looked at the person in front of her, searching for any words that made sense. She couldn’t think of a damn thing. It’d been a few days since she landed on the island and this was the first time she’d seen anyone. She was still surprised that anyone heard her when she spoke to herself. She was sure that she was alone. “I just remember…sand and water. The sun and the sky. I woke up on a piece of driftwood or something. There was some kind of fabric on it and when I thought I was going to drown because I was so exhausted and there wasn’t any kind of land in sight. When I woke up again, I was on sand and that was it.” She bounced her knee up and down as she stared at the person. “I can’t remember anything else. I-I don’t even remember my own name."

Have you ever killed? If so: why? If not: could you?

“I just told you that I don’t even remember my own name,” the woman replied. She knitted her eyebrows in frustration. Did they even hear what she just said? How could they even ask her something like this now. She looked around at the trees blowing over their heads and she let out a heavy sigh. The woman leaned forward and spoke in a low tone. “If I did, would you kick me off the island? Send me back to sea so I can die of heat stroke? Wouldn’t that make you a murderer too?” She raised her eyebrows. She leaned back. “Or did you want to know if I’ve killed someone so I can kill someone else so you don’t have to get your hands dirty?” The person in front of her didn’t seem amused. The woman bit the inside of her cheek. “Let’s just go with no. I haven’t killed someone. And if I did have to kill someone, it’s going to be because of self defense. If you want someone dead, you’ll have to do it yourself or find someone else."

What is your greatest achievement? Biggest regret?

The woman shook her head, laughing without humor. “Greatest achievement? Not dying on the open ocean,” she replied. Considering she didn’t remember anything, surviving a few days on an island by herself seemed like a pretty big achievement. “Biggest regret?” On the other hand, she couldn’t think of what she regretted. She came on the island by herself and couldn’t even say what year it was, which seemed awfully sad. She had a watch, so at least she could tell them what time it was, but there was nothing on it to indicate a year. “I guess I regret not having a calendar on me,” she told them.