#long live the sniddies
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um, actually āļøš¤, they are Bred in a Pouch? on the hive master?
his "Brood" "Pouch"?
i don't know wh- i don't know why the hive master would have mamMALian featUres? āļøš¤
alright brennan lee mulligan. getting mad at my snake with titties i drew that one time
- caldwell + jacob
#long live the sniddies#fellas. ok so we all know the prior girl i had a crush on#tldr ur first uni relationship is gonna ruin u for months but we MovE#or maybe thats a gay thing idk#opening magic packs and combining the cards into new monsters#drawfee#drawfee quotes#drawfee video#jacob andrews#jacob drawfee#caldwell drawfee#caldwell tanner#brennan lee mulligan
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An exhaustive list of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin bosses I would or would not date
The Last Giant
Listenā¦ The Last Giant has No Face. I like dating people who have faces. Also, his arms detach and heās like, at least 10 meters taller than me, so I think that would be a hazard. I think heās more in need of a friend than a romantic partner. Iād gladly sit down with him and discuss his feelings, but we are not meant to date.
The Pursuer
The Pursuer is great because heās just soā¦ Rotund. Heās shaped like a friend. Or maybeā¦ More than a friendā¦ Heās got a biggass sword that glows blue, which is great if you need to get up at night to get water or a snack, and a big shield he can use to protect you from the hot Drangleic sun when youāre on a date. You never have to worry about losing him because HE WILL FIND YOU. I think heās a catch.
Dragonrider
He almost didnāt make it in the list of bosses I would date, but encountering him so often made me have a soft spot for him. Plus heās a little bit round and Iāve gotta say. Rotundness is where itās at. Heās fun to fight so I feel like you could have some fun jousts together and then chillā¦ And go, like, I donāt know, ride dragons*? Fun couple activities.
*although dragonrider is his name Iām not sure we saw any dragonrider ride a dragon so this is a shot in the dark
Old Dragonslayer
The Old Dragonslayer has a very sexy armor, Iāll give him that, but he 1. Has a furry mask (a terrible fashion faux pas that I cannot forgive) 2. Is just sitting in the Cathedral of Blue while a DRAGON is outside, unslayed, which says something about the quality of his work. I had to kill the dragon myself, while the Old Dragonslayer was sitting aroundā¦ Being old, I guess. Not for me.
Flexile Sentry
DISGUSTING AND WRONG.
Ruin Sentinel
The Ruin Sentinels are arguably the sexiest armor bosses in all of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin. Something about these long lads and their eldritch identities and behaviors just tickles me the right way. The shape of their helmets looks a little bit like a turtle which gives them just enough cuteness while not taking away from the fact that Iām absolutely terrified of them and that they are in fact very scary (which is good). Theyāre also very tall which means they can carry me around and make me feel tall too. Definitely a good thing in a partner.
Belfry Gargoyles
I wouldnāt date the Belfry Gargoyles, but Iād be friends with them. I feel like theyād be fun at a sleepover. Girlās night! Girlās night!
Lost Sinner
Iād date the Lost Sinner. It might be a little bit controversial because yes she is a little bit nasty, Iām aware of that, but I think she just needs a little bit of company. I donāt want to change her, I love her right like she is, but if she wants me to teach her how to shower, I might just do it! I am a little bit biased because sheās got a big sword that looks really cool? Perhaps.
Executionerās Chariot
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOĀ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOĀ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOĀ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOĀ NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Skeleton Lords
I think the Skeleton Lords are neat but I donāt really see myself dating them. Firstly, Iām not a skeleton fucker, so that puts a little bit of distance between us (given that they are in fact skeletons). They also have an army of skeleton children, which Iām just not ready to raise. Iām trying to find a date, not to become a skeleton mom. I feel like weād be great friends though, Iād probably invite them over so they can practice their standup routine at my house while they leave their 30 skeletons children with the babysitter and we can like drink wine or something.
Covetous Demon
I would not date the Covetous Demon, but I would keep him as a mean dog in my yard to discourage my enemies from entering my property.
Baneful Queen Mytha
Iād be all here for the sniddies if Mytha kept her head on her neck but alas she is headless.Ā
Smelter Demon
Mhā¦ Yes. Heās big and large and heās got horns. He could put me up on his shoulder and walk around and Iād be warm up there. Sounds like nothing but a good time.
Old Iron King
Ngghghhhā¦.. I wanna say no but he is Rippedā¦ Absolutely jacked! Iām also a hoe for horns and wings! What can I say. Call me out if I ever make fun of scalies again? (im gonna do that like in a few paragraphs anyway)
Scorpioness Najka
Given the fact that her own fiancĆ©, made miserable by her, asks you to murder her, I donāt think Najka is a fine romantic partner. In addition to that, even though I was here for sniddies, scorpions are scary and gross me out, so no, I would not date Scorpioness Najka.
The Dukeās Dear Freja
Sheāll remain dear to the Duke only and she is NOT invited in my yard.
Royal Rat Authority
Wouldnāt date the big rat that makes all of the rules, but similarly to the Covetous Demon, having him on my property to scare people away would be pretty neat.
Prowling Magus and The Congregation
Prowling Magus has a SICK aesthetic I can absolutely get behind (Ā« look at my cool sorcerer boyfriend wearing his goat helmet Ā») and Iāve stated before I Am a Hoe for horns so we could have something going on.
The Congregation is however BANNED from this house so since theyāre probably his buddies that would most likely be a point of tension. Ultimately it might be better for me to keep a platonic relationship with Prowling Magus, as I do not want hollows to crawl on my floor when he invites his friends over.
The Rotten
Oh no lol
Looking Glass Knight
NNNYES absolutely I would date the Looking Glass Knight. Heās not only really cool looking and a Very Dramatic Man (standing in the rain when you meet himā¦ the sceneryā¦ the atmosphereā¦ he knows how to make an entrance), but heād also be a great person to bring with you for a night out.
Exhibit A: heās really fucking tall and scary which would dissuade anyone from approaching you uninvited
Exhibit B : he carries a FULL BODY mirror around everywhere which means you can fix your hair and/or makeup at any time without needing a shitty pocket mirror or going to the bathroom
Exhibit C : if you need help he can summon a limitless amount of people through his mirror
Just a great partner all around.
Demon of Song
Ohhhhhh noooooo Lord nooooooooooooooo please! Please spare me
Velstadt, the Royal Aegis
Velstadt is very loyal (a real man for following Vendrick all the way to the Undead Crypt) and heās also very tall, very large, very strong, and very stylish (see the scales cape he wears). I wouldāve put him at the top of the date list, but heās no dating material ā heās husband material. A little downside is that he might put his job before me but I get it. Itās career before everything. I will not limit my husbandās ambitions.
King Vendrick
Vendrick is taken by an eldritch entity and still very much in love with her despite the fact that she destroyed his kingdom and brought the entire civilization down and also caused him to become a war criminal and kill a pacific race of giants all on his own like a big boy so Iām not very interested in him.
Guardian Dragon & Ancient Dragon
Iām putting them together because they essentially boil down to the same thing : Iād offer them a home but I wouldnāt date them. The Guardian Dragon can stay outside and be feral with everyone else that I put in the yard, while the Ancient Dragon can have his own room and like is invited for tea sometimes, but thatās all.
Giant Lord
See Last Giant
Throne Defender & Watcher
Iām a little bit torn on this one because Iām experiencing bisexual panic. Weāve got cool large dude with a beard ; cool slender lady that jumps around everywhere ; they could both beat me up and they both look hot, help me. However, I have to say if I had to pick Iād got with the Throne Watcher because she is hot and looks slightly cooler. Iāve always wanted a very tall wife who could suplex me into the sun, which she could do in a heartbeat.
On the other hand, they do look like a power couple that Iād love to have for dinner and Iād hate to break them up while there are so many fish in the sea and they look so great with each other.
Nashandra
Human Nashandra looks pretty and soft, however anyone who witnessed my first blind playthrough of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin will tell you that she did not have me fooled and I was very wary of her from the beginning. Anyone who has witnessed my first fight with her looking very skeletal will also tell you that I screamed Ā« WHAT IS THAT Ā» for at least 5 minutes, so that probably gives you an idea of if Iād date her or not.
Also, her weapon of choice is a scythe, which looks cool, but is very unpractical, and just for this fatal mistake, she becomes undatable.
Darklurker
Wingsā¦ Four arms = twice the hugsā¦ Cool hoodā¦ Yesā¦
Elana the Squalid Queen
Sheās nasty and told me I was undeserving of the mire, which is pretty mean of her. Even if she thinks it, she could at least be nice about it. I would not date her.
Sinh the Slumbering Dragon
Sinh is BANNED from this house because heās not just feral, heās RABID and POISONOUS and if I let him live in the yard he could poison my entire property and I do not want that.
Fume Knight
Alas! The Fume Knight looks really cool and has a pretty sexy armor, but tales say that he was infatuated with another woman (whether he met her when she was already an Ashen Idol or not remains a mystery but Iām no one to judge his taste in women). I respect peopleās crushes so I will let him be in love with whoever he fancies and they may come over for dinner, as long as they behave.
Aava, Lud and Zallen, the Kingās pet
They are very welcome to live in the yard. They may come inside the house, but they are not allowed on the couch.
Burnt Ivory King
Noā¦ He loved his wife very muchā¦ Iād invite them over for dinner and MAYBE try to seduce one of his knights (they have sexy armors, what can I say).
Aldia, Scholar of the First Sin
Aldia is a weird dude and I wouldnāt feel safe around him. I think heād probably kidnap me while Iām asleep and go do some experiments on me in his cursed mansion. Itās a no from me chief. Not to mention the fact that heās aā¦ tree?
Afflicted Graverobber, Ancient Soldier Varg, and Cerah the Old Explorer
I wouldnāt date them, even though their armors are pretty sexy, simply because they seem like a good group of friends and I wouldnāt feel comfortable inserting myself in the group. I think Iād even be too shy to befriend them, but if they wanna come by my house and have a good time, theyāre welcome to do so.
Blue Smelter Demon
See Smelter Demon, but with more vigor because this one is blue.
Sir Alonne
Yeahā¦ heās got the eldritch factor that I like in the Ruin Sentinels while also seeming more human and heās also a pretty stylish man. I feel like heās one of the strongest contestants in the game and he wouldnāt mind my long nose, as heās got one himself. Pretty sexy armor and he is a man of honor. Definitely a yes.
#oh boy i did it!#dark souls#dark souls 2#dark souls 2: scholar of the first sin#blue's adventures#my posts#what can i say i love lists#ds2
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Hey, could you do a one shot with Markus from dbh where the reader is Carlās niece or smth, and often visits him? I was thinking she could always be wearing turtlenecks and long pants, even in super hot weather. Markus never knew why, until one day she shows up in shorts and a t-shirt and is covered in tattoos from her neck to her feet?? Markus is like āw o wā and he gets a huge crush on her and it ends with cute fluff?
giddy sniddy god yes i luv this request! anything for my markus cuz he my bby and he life so yeah. this is such a creative request live im livin for this!!!!!Ā
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My friend sent this to me and I need you to know that you've ruined my life. I have so many questions and absolutely zero answers
A non-exhaustive list, in no particular order:
Snails lay eggs. Why it got sniddies?? What are sniddies FOR?
Where did it get the bones to have prehensile limbs? Do the bones keep growing the way the shell does? Will it just have like 12 foot long arms and legs at some point?
HOW LONG DO THEY LIVE
A snail's shell is sort of its entire skeleton. Their organs live in there, like a rib cage except it's housing, like, Everything. What is IN the stomach?????
A snail's butt is located basically at the mouth of the shell, with the associated organs being inside the shell. WHERE does this thing defecate from.
Does it effectively have two rib cages?? 3 lungs? I Need To Know
Is it amphibious?
Does it walk or just kinda wiggle around like a seal?
Also it's obviously intersex, right? Snails have both sets of primary sex organs. The genitals are located on their necks, basically -- near the face. How does that even Work with human anatomy???
Why does it have knees.
Can it retract into the shell fully?
Can it seal itself up inside the shell with a mucous membrane and live that way for up to a decade the way snails can?
What IS its ecological niche? What does it eat? Is it predatory?
I NEED ANSWERS.
Snoddess (Snail Goddess)
Drew this in todayās stream. Sooo so happy with how she turned out, thanks to everyone who hopped in the stream with me!
Follow my twitch:Ā https://www.twitch.tv/beefstatic Snoddess prints here:Ā https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/bethdehart/snoddess/
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