#lonely failguy loser

[woetoy]

God, Cal is so useless at everything. I don't know whether to pity him or bully him. Though I guess he'd enjoy the latter

I think what he'd really like is attention LOL and he might not be able to discern what is "good" attention and "mean" attention

[milliesaxe]

the thing is. the thing is— blitz is a failguy. he’s cringe comedy. he falls on his face when making grand entrances. he spies on his subordinates because he’s lonely. he gets kicked in the junk by his daughter. he says shit like ‘i challenge you to a challenge’ & his jokes tend to be massive bombs. he brings down the vibe at parties ‘cause he’s busy self-destructing & all his romantic endeavors are endless lists of fumbles. i’m not saying he can’t get it but the truth is he’s not written to be a suave male lead.

but stolas does not see him as fail-cringe-loser that nevertheless is rather attractive and fun. stolas legit thinks blitz is THE coolest guy ever, no caveats. 007 type cool. He’s an eighties action star played straight and a teen heartthrob mixed together. part of the joke in seeing stars when blitz’s shirt rips down the middle and his voluminous fake hair starts flying in the wake of an explosion is that this type of sincere badassery without an accompanying string of curses doesn’t fit the show or blitz’s character. but that shit is sincerely how stolas views him.

after ozzie’s, stolas also starts seeing him as this beautiful, ethereally sad being who is just beyond reproach. literal starlight. elegance personified. bigger and brighter than stolas could ever hope to grasp.

and it’s just mind-bending knowing this while knowing blitz has to tell himself stolas sees him as a cheap lay in order to worm his way out of potential vulnerability. blitz, who hates himself and needs to think stolas doesn’t care for him to confirm that self-hatred, has got this royal demon capable of cracking heads open like watermelons singing tear-filled ballads in the moonlight dedicated to him and sighing over him like he’s THE hottest most gallant movie star of an age.