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beyaux · 4 years ago

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Title: When the Storm Found its Serenity

(Synopsis)

The spine-chilling CEO of the Medline Field Company also known as Mr. Leo, has this intimidating and daunting aura that could make everyone shake with fear in just a single glance. His oustanding name and masculine posture are screaming wealth and power. Every employee suffered his great terror that no one dares to stab him at the back. He's the example of a perfect man that every woman is craving to have for. He doesn't have some weaknesses. No one can bring him down that he's the only one who can tamed himself. That was his thoughts until Beauteous Anallevaj a psychiatrist came to his life.

Ang kaniyang madilim at tahimik na mundo ay tila nagsimulang magbago. The joy that he thinks he had before has no equivalent to the joy that Bea brings to his present life. She thought him a lot of things. Leo felt something new inside of him that only Bea can make him feel. She opened a new side of him. Slowly and slowly he realizes that he already found his own serenity.

~~~~~

Panimula

Palabas na ako ng aking opisina nang lumitaw ang pangalan ni Raw sa screen ng cellphone ko.

Raw's calling...

Naglikha ito ng ingay sa gitna ng pasilyo nitong Ospital, dahilan kung bakit napahinto ang iilang nurses na nakakasalubong ko.

Mabilis na nanlaki ang mga mata ko bago mabilis na sinagot ang tawag. Hindi na ako nagkaroon pa ng oras mag-isip kung bakit bigla siyang napa-tawag saakin.

"Hello? Bea? It's me, Raw."

Hindi pa ako nakakabawi mula sa pagkakabigla nang marinig ko ang malalim niyang boses. I shut my eyes tightly. Ramdam ko ang mabilis na pag-init ng aking pisngi. I forgot to silence my phone! Dang it.

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

After months of not communicating with me, he's suddenly here? Calling my name? Ano kayang kailangan nito?

"Raw," I called.

"Bea! Kamusta na?"

His voice sounds hoarse, maybe he just woke up? Pero anong oras na, a? Ala-una na ng hapon.

"What do you want? Last time I checked, wala na akong utang sa'yo, a?" Pagbibiro ko.

I smiled to the other nurses who heard my ringtone minutes ago. I even bowed a bit.

"Pasensya po... pasensya na."

Nagpatuloy na ulit ako sa paglalakad palabas ng Ospital. I heard him chuckled.

"Wait... why are you apologizing?"

"Hindi ikaw kausap ko. Mga nurses 'yon." Tumawa ako.

He laughed again. "Oh, you got me there. Ang bait naman ng Doctor na 'to!"

Umalingawngaw ang malakas niyang boses sa kabilang linya. Natatawang napapailing ako.

"So... what's new? Bakit ka napatawag?" Pag-iiba ko.

"Hmm? Nothing. I just missed you."

Ang kaninang malalim niyang boses ay mabilis na nagbago. Tila may kausap akong maliit na bata ngayon.

My eyes turned into slits, hindi naniniwala sa sinasabi niya.

"Raw Arthur..." I warned.

"What?" Natatawang tanong niya.

"What do you meant for 'what'? Come on, spill it!"

I can't help but to smile. Imbes na mapikon ako ay napapangiti pa ako sa pangbibitin niya.

Nakarating na ako sa parking lot at nakita ko na rin ang aking montero. Pinindot ko ang susi sa kaliwa kong kamay bago ko iyon tuluyang binuksan.

"Bea..." He sighed, "I have something to tell you."

Tinapon ko ang aking itim na hand bag sa passenger seat bago ako tuluyang pumasok at kumportableng umupo sa driver's seat.

"Tell me what?"

Sinirado ko na ang aking pintuan. Naglikha iyon nang panandaliang kalabog mula sa pagkakasirado ko. I heaved a deep sigh.

"Tell me what, Raw?" Ulit ko.

Hindi ko na inalintana ang init sa loob ng sasakyan. Wala na akong panahon pa para buksan ang aircon at ang makina dahil mas nakatuon ang buong atensyon ko sa kung ano man ang balak sabihin saakin ni Raw.

"I'll tell you, just promise me one thing."

I nodded immediately even though he's not here. Lalo lang nadadagdagan ang kuryosidad ko sa mga pinapahabol niya.

"Yeah, yeah. Alright, I promise."

I didn't think much about the promise. Ang gusto ko lang ay sabihin niya na agad.

"Bea, seryoso ako." His voice thundered.

"I'm serious! Anong akala mo saakin?"

"You're not taking the promise seriously!"

I blow a loud breath.

"Okay, fine. Ano ba 'yon?"

Pansin ko mula sa kabilang linya na panandalian siyang natigilan. Silence crept our atmostphere. Mukhang may pag-aalinlangan pa siyang sabihin saakin.

Now that silence enveloped us, I finally realized that my heartbeat is not beating normal. Parang tumakbo ako ng napakalayo dahil sa bilis ng pagtibok nito.

"Ipangako mo saakin na hindi ka iiyak. 'Cause I know you too well. You'll even hate me for this." He let out a shaking laugh.

My brow creased. Sa bawat segundong dumadaan ay mas lalo pa akong kinakabahan. Nagsimula na ako magbalik tanaw noon, nagbabaka-sakali akong may makukuha akong ideya mula sa nakaraan. But nothing!

"Raw, what is it?" Tanong ko. Nauubusan na ng pasensya.

"I'm... getting married."

Nahigit ko ang aking pag-hinga. My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened. Tila huminto ang pag-ikot ng aking mundo. There, he finally said it! But my mind still won't sink it in and finalize everything.

"A-Ano ulit 'yon? You... what?"

"I'm getting married, bestfriend," Ulit niya. Mas malinaw na ngayon kaysa kanina.

That's when it sinked in. I felt my heart throbbed painfully. Hindi ko napigilan at kusa na lamang tumulo ang mga luha ko. I was cursing him on my mind repeatedly.

"Oh my god, Raw Arthur! No, no, no. You've got to be kidding me!" Hagulhol ko.

"Fuck. You promised-"

"You jerk! Ang tagal mong hindi nagparamdam. Tapos ngayon, malalaman kong ikakasal ka na pala!" Putol ko sa kaniya.

"I know, I'm sorry. I was with her. I'm fine, don't worry."

Sunod-sunod na nalaglag ang mga butil ng luha mula sa mga mata ko. Marahas ko din agad itong pinapaalis gamit ang malaya kong palad.

"Who's the girl, Raw? Kailan ang kasal?"

Pakiramdam ko 'ata mababaliw na ako. My feelings were mixed and fucked up. I should be happy for him- I am happy! It just that, ako ang bestfriend niya, he should tell me about the girl first! Hindi yung bibiglain niya ako ng ganito. I've never felt betrayal this much in my whole life. Ngayon pa lang. Nakakatampo.

"I met her in London. The wedding is on friday. You should be here in my place, para masukatan ka na."

Tila lalo pa 'atang nagulo ang pag-iisip ko sa sinabi niya. Natataranta at gamit pa ang nanginginig na mga kamay ay inabot ko ang maliit na kalendaryo sa dashboard.

"Wednesday na ngayon, Raw! Are you telling me na this friday ka na ikakasal?" Tanong ko habang binabalik ang kalendaryo sa itaas ng dashboard.

"Yeaaap..." He muttered the 'a' slowly.

Biglang huminto ang kaninang mga traydor kong luha. Napalitan ng inis ang nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya. Napapikit ako ng mariin. Hinilot ko ang aking sentido.

"Why?" I asked him in a calm voice.

"What do you meant 'why'?" Natatawang tanong niya na para bang na-wi-weirdo-han sa tanong kong iyon.

Oh, no, no, I'm not in the mood for your chuckle, right now, Raw. Dang it.

"Why? Ang tanong ko, bakit? Bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi? Raw, naman!"

Padabog kong nahampas ang steering wheel. Naubos na 'ata ang oras ko kausap siya. Kailangan ko pa agad bumalik sa trabaho, pero mukhang hindi mangyayari iyon.

Raw is such a lunatic! Sinong matinong lalaki ang mag-iinvite, 2 days before the wedding? Siya lang!

"You should have tell me earlier, Raw! A days after your proposal o kahit months na nga, e! Hindi yung ganito. I'm your bestfriend for fudging sake! At ako pa ang nahuli sa balita?"

"You're not the only one, so calm down. Galing ka kasing states noong nakaraang buwan. Madami na rin kaming inasikaso para sa kasal noong nasa states ka kaya nawala na sa isip ko."

So its my fault now, huh? Wala na akong magagawa dahil nandiyan na. At least he told me about it. Ayos na 'yon, makakapag-handa pa ako.

Natapos ang buong paguusap namin sa paulit-ulit niyang pag-hingi saakin ng tawad. I hate myself for being too nice, napatawad ko siya kaagad.

Raw and I are best buddies. We've met at the same university when we were at our senior years. Sa lahat ng mga nakilala kong kaibigang lalaki, siya lang ang tumagal sa tabi ko.

He's with me when I had my first ever boyfriend and also my first heartache. He was there. He's always there.

Pagkatapos ng trabaho, hindi pa agad ako umuwi sa condo. Dumaan ako sa pinaka-malapit na Mall. Titingin-tingin ako kung may makikita akong p'wedeng i-pang-regalo para sa darating na biyernes.

I parked my car before turning off its engine. Tsaka ko pa lang din napagtanto na suot-suot ko pa rin ang aking doctor's coat. Hinubad ko iyon bago maayos na nilagay sa passenger seat.

I flaunt my black and white striped cami jumpsuit. Lumabas na ako ng sasakyan at diri-diretso ang lakad patungo sa entrada ng gusali.

I was greeted by expensive restaurants and cuisines. Inilang hakbang ko ang paglagpas sa mga iyon. I should not be threatened, 'andito ako para bumili ng regalo.

Tumigil ako sa isang boutique na mayroong naka-display na malaking teddy bear. Nakuha nito ang atensyon ko. Now that I realized I'm at the baby store.

Wala na akong pagaalinlangan at pumasok na ako sa loob. The sales lady greeted me immediately with a huge smile on her nude lips.

"Goodevening, Ma'am!"

I smiled back. "Goodevening."

Mabilis kong pinasadahan ng tingin ang kabuoan ng loob. Samu't saring mga gamit ng pambata ang bumungad saakin. Maaliwalas at maluwag ang nasasakupan. Nahahati sa dalawa ang shop, kulay blue ang nasa bandang kanan samantalang kulay pink ang kaliwa.

Well, I know Raw too well. Baka nga'y naka-score na agad iyon bago pa ang kasal. I'm just so advance, well, maybe quite excited too.

Ramdam ko ang paninitig saakin ng iilan pang mga sales lady. I'm not that numb for not to feel anything. Mula sa likuran ko, pansin ko din ang pagsunod ng kaninang sales lady na bumati saakin.

"Ano po bang gender, Ma'am? Lalaki po ba o babae?"

Nilingon ko siya bago nginitian ulit. I noticed her stilled for a seconds.

"Hindi ko pa kasi alam. I'll buy the unisex one," Sagot ko.

She wasn't listening at all, just staring at me mesmerizingly and pretending to listen. Lalong lumawak ang ngiti ko.

"Could you help me, please? Nagmamadali na rin kasi ako baka mag-sara na kayo. P'wede namang balik na lang din ako bukas." Nahihiya akong aamba na sanang lumabas ulit.

"H-Hindi, Ma'am! Ayos lang po. Sige po, tulungan ko na kayo."

Nilagpasan niya ako at siya na ang nangunguna sa daan. Iginiya niya ako patungo sa pinaka dulo kung saan nagkalat ang mga damit ng pambata. Halo-halo ang kulay at tamang-tama lang sa batang hindi pa nalalaman ang kasarian.

"Dito po, Ma'am."

Ngumiti ako sa kaniya bago nagsimula nang saliksikin ang mga damit. Hindi ko mapigilan ang matuwa habang pumipili ng mga damit pambata. Iniisip ko pa lang na tumatakbo saakin papalapit ang anak ni Raw, suot-suot ang damit na binili ko ay tumataba na agad ang puso ko sa galak.

"Heto po, Ma'am, baka gusto niyo."

Inabot saakin ng sales lady ang isang onesies bodysuit na may design na mukha ni pikachu.

My eyes glinted with so much fascination. Napaka-liit no'n, mukhang mas gusto ko ipasuot sa magiging anak ko kaysa sa anak ni Raw. I like pikachu so much!

"That's cute! Salamat, a?"

Kinuha ko sa kaniya yung damit bago ito sinampay sa bisig ko. Bibilhin ko na lang ito at itatago hanggang sa magka-anak na rin ako.

"Ilang weeks na po ba, Ma'am?"

Nilingon ko siya. "Hindi ko pa alam, e. Kaya... baka kahit ano bilhin ko na lang."

"Nako, Ma'am! Panigurado akong magsisisi si Sir, bakit ka niya iniwan. Ang ganda-ganda mo na, Ma'am, e, tapos ang bait pa. Paniguradong swerte ang magiging anak mo, Ma'am." She giggled.

I stop mid way. Gulat at nanlalaki ang mga mata kong bumaling sa kaniya. I didn't see that coming.

"Ahh.." Tumawa ako nang makabawi. "Para sa kaibigan ko ito. Hindi ako yung buntis."

Mabilis siyang natigilan mula sa kakatawa. Ngayon ay siya naman ang tumingin saakin nang nanlalaki ang mga mata.

"Nako, Ma'am! Pasensya na po!"

I chuckled. "Ayos lang 'yon."

"Kadalasan kasi ang mga pumupunta dito, Ma'am, may mga kasamang asawa. Kaya akala ko... pasensya na talaga, Ma'am. Baka magalit boyfriend niyo."

Kinuha ko ang napili kong kulay pulang long sleeve bago siya hinarap.

"Wala akong boyfriend, Miss." Nahihiya ko siyang ginawaran ng ngiti.

Hindi ko mapigilang matawa sa nakitang reaksyon mula sa kaniya. Bakas sa mukha niyang hindi siya naniniwala saakin.

"Seryoso, Ma'am? Pero ang ganda niyo po!"

"Oo. Kaka-break lang namin nitong latest boyfriend ko."

Pinakita ko sa kaniya ang napili kong pulang long sleeve.

"Eto? Maganda ba?"

"Opo, Ma'am. Ang sabi ng lola ko noon, mas nagugustuhan daw ng mga sanggol yung kulay pula, e."

Tumango ako sa kaniya bago naghanap pa ulit. Naglakad-lakad ako at nilibot ko pa ang ibang clothes rack. Nakasunod pa rin saakin yung kadaldalan kong sales lady.

"Pero... Ma'am? Gaano katagal na kayo break nitong Ex niyo po?"

Bumaling ako sa kaniya at nakita kong naghahanap din siya ng damit para saakin.

"5 months na."

"May third party ba, Ma'am? Nako, pasensya na po, Ma'am. Napaka-daldal ko po."

Nasilayan ko siyang napakamot sa kaniyang batok. Natatawang napailing naman ako. Nakakatuwa siya.

"Nako, ayos lang. Natutuwa nga ako kapag mayroon akong kadaldalan."

Bumalik ako sa pamimili ng mga pang batang damit. Panandalian kaming nilukob ng katahimikan. Tumikhim ako.

"Wala namang third party. Iniwan niya ako, para rin naman iyon sa kapakanan ko. Kaya naiintindihan ko naman."

"Mahal mo pa ba, Ma'am?"

Tinanggap ko ang inaabot niya saaking damit. Tumawa ako.

"Hindi na."

Hindi na, pero hindi naman na maaalis ang pagmamahal na binigay ko sa mga dating inibig ko noon. I loved and it failed but at least it taught me to grow and I learned the lessons very well.

'Cause growing always revolves like that. If it means to grow is falling apart, even if that person is your greatest love, then so be it.

Natapos ako sa pamimili at hinihintay na lang na mabayaran ko ang mga ito. I was humming a song when I saw my sales lady friend interacts another customer. The woman was pregnant with his average husband.

I saw how the husband would always caressed his wife's waist, supporting her, I suppose?

Iniisip ko pa lang na magiging ganiyan din mag-alaga si Raw ay nakakalubag loob na saakin. He'll definitely do more than that. He's the over-reacting type of a guy pa naman.

"Next po, Ma'am."

Bumaling ako sa babaeng nasa cashier. I smiled at her before moving forward. Kinuha niya isa-isa ang mga napili ko. Naglabas ako ng isang itim na card at ibinigay sa kaniya.

Nang mabayaran ko na lahat, isa-isa kong binitbit ang tatlong paper bags. Then I took my card back.

"Thank you." I smiled again.

"You're welcome, Ma'am. Come again."

I nodded before moving through the exit.

"Thank you, Ma'am! Balik ka ulit! Sana sa susunod na punta mo, anak mo naman, Ma'am."

Bumungisngis saakin ang naging kaibigan kong sales lady. Bumaling ako sa kaniya bago kumaway. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti sa narinig mula sa kaniya.

"Mauuna na ako. Salamat," Paalam ko.

Huli kong nasilayan ang pag-ngiti niya saakin pabalik bago ako tuluyang nakalabas ng shop na iyon.

Pagod at padaskol kong inilapag ang aking mga pinamili sa passenger seat pagkabalik ko sa sasakyan.

Ngayon ko pa lamang naramdaman ang uhaw at gutom mula sa buong araw na paglilikot. I'm afraid of eating outside alone, so I think I will just order a food when I get home.

Aksidente kong natapunan ng tingin ang kalendaryo sa itaas ng dashboard. Now that I remembered! I also need to free my sched for tomorrow and this upcoming friday, dahil plano kong bisitahin si Raw bukas para sa pagsusukat ng damit.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya gagawan ng paraan iyon na ihahabol ang damit ko sa pagpapagawa isang araw bago ang kasal. Walang problema iyon para saakin dahil magsusuot lang naman ako.

Maingat kong pinindot ang numero ng Ospital sa screen ng phone ko. It took me three rings before they finally answered.

"Hello? Yes, po? Goodevening, this is wellHue Hospital," Sagot ng kabilang linya.

"Hi, goodevening. This is Dra. Anallevaj, I would like to take my off for tomorrow and this upcoming friday. Just tell Dr. Mon about it for me. Thank you."

Monstreak Adams is the Boss of the Hospital where I am working. He's one of my closest friends and I'm glad about it.

"Oh, Dra. Anallevaj? Yes, Doc, I will do it immediately."

"Alright, thank you."

Binaba ko na ang tawag at inilapag ang cellphone ko sa dashboard. Tsaka ko pa lamang binuhay ang makina ng sasakyan ko bago pinaharurot na ito pauwi.

(Check my profile for the continuation of my story, or just kindly follow me on Wattpad for much better access! :)) Wattpad: Beyaux)

#wattpad #tagalog #philippines #lovestory #romance #filipino

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airconspecialist · 5 years ago

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cheekyharold · 7 years ago

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My Prince, Chapter Ten

Read previous chapters here!

I always thought it was weird that you could hear the rain before you saw it. What begins as a small pit, pit, pit against roofs of cars or buildings soon becomes a wall of water in a matter of seconds. But you always hear it running towards you on the pavement. And at that moment, the saying “When it rains, it pours” had never been so literal.

I walked out of Kensington’s gates in a daze. I didn’t even feel the rain soaking my clothes. I didn’t even recognize if it was cold or not. It must have been. It was only the first week of April. I wished this were all an elaborate April Fool’s joke. Sure seemed like one.

I forced my legs to move forward each step. I have to make it to the tube and back to work. I have to – I have to tell everyone…

It’s liver cancer, she said. Terminal. The sentence echoed around my now-empty-feeling brain.

Somehow I made it back to Buckingham. I didn’t remember scanning my Oyster or stepping onto a train, but I made it.

I knocked on William’s door, and he called for me to enter.

He stared at me oddly until I realized too late that I was still soaked.

“No umbrella?” he joked, but when he sees my ghostly expression, his smile fades. “What’s happened?”

“I don’t – I don’t know–” I mumbled, unsure how to even form everything into words.

“Come in, Carolina.” He stood from his desk and walked around it, helping me into a chair. “Is everything all right? Is it the Prince?” When I finally am able to read his expression, I see pure terror. He probably thinks there’s been some attack. He’s about ready to call in an emergency when I place a quick hand on his arm to stop him.

“The Prince of Wales is fine, William.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

I tell him what my mother told me – she’s at late stage liver cancer, far too late to do any treatments. She sits on a transplant list, but with her history and background, the odds are slim to none.

“She’s been admitted to The Shakespeare Hospice in Stratford-upon-Avon,” I concluded. My voice didn’t sound like mine.

William’s face is brimming with pity, but I don’t want it. For so long, I pushed my mother away and now… I’m sad? She was never much of a mother to begin with, but that phone call shattered something inside of me I didn’t know existed anymore.

“You take as much time as you need off, Carolina,” William finally said. “Definitely take the rest of the day. I’ll give your photos to Jude to complete.” Another pause. “Miss Pearson, I know you and your mother weren’t close… but I think you should see her.”

I only nod my head. “I know.” Better late than never, eh?

William slips the camera bag’s strap off my shoulder. When I stand, he surprises me by pulling me into a deep hug. I don’t think I cried yet – it was hard to tell tears from rain outside – but I squeeze my eyes shut and let a couple fall.

When he let me go, he said in the softest tone, “Take a week, a month – however long you need, yeah? Your job will be here waiting for you. You don’t need to worry about that.”

“Thank you,” I croaked.

The rain outside let up a bit by the time I exited the palace. I called Pip on my way to the tube station to give her the news. She offered to leave work but I convinced her to stay. I told her I wouldn’t leave until the morning anyway, so I’d see her back at the flat that evening.

Back at my flat, I stared at my empty suitcase for fifteen minutes. I hadn’t been back home for close to a year. I didn’t know how long I’d be gone for. I didn’t know how much to pack. I didn’t want to pack, and I really didn’t want to go back home. But I knew I had to. Plus, this distance would be ideal. I wouldn’t have to see Harry’s face, even though the image of his panic was stuck in my mind forever.

Stop thinking about him.

I can’t.

He’s not the priority.

Neither is she.

She is right now.

I didn’t even realize how late it was until Pippa’s keys were scratching at the door and it swung open.

“Oh, babe,” she cooed, dropping her keys and bag and wrapping me in a hug. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”

I mechanically hugged her back and said, “Thanks.”

“You need help?” She pointed to the empty suitcase.

In reply, I sigh and slump down onto my mattress. “I don’t even know what to pack.”

“Well, it’s beginning to get warmer so maybe just a few light jumpers and–”

“That’s not what I mean, Pip. I mean… I don’t even know how long I should go. A week? A month? How long does it take to put someone’s affairs in order? How strange of a saying is that – put someone’s affairs in order. What does it even really mean?”

“Whoa, okay, calm down there,” she said, turning to me and placing her hands on my arms. “Sit down.”

Robotically, I sat on the edge of the bed.

“You should always pack more than you think you might need, yes? It’s better to have too much than too little. I’ll help.”

We took the next two hours filling the suitcase to the brim. In true Pip style, she was adding more things well into the night that she thought I might need. I was still in a daze so she cooked us both dinner, made me some tea, and shuffled me off to bed early enough to catch the morning train.

For the entire three-hour journey north the following morning, I couldn’t sit still. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Nothing felt right. Sitting on the seat felt like I was doing nothing, and I felt like I should be doing something. I tried playing soft, instrumental music through my earphones but nothing worked to calm me down. I was anxious to arrive, yet dreading it at the same time. I didn’t know what to expect when I got there.

I had about a dozen texts through the night and into the next day from Jude, wondering how I was and if I was holding up all right. I didn’t respond to any, mostly because I had no idea how to respond. I didn’t know my emotions. I felt everything yet numb at the same time.

When the train arrived at the Stratford-upon-Avon station, I dragged my suitcase off as slowly as I could. I hadn’t stepped on the concrete platform in what felt like years. Of course, the air was the same as in London, but everything felt different here. It was always so quiet compared to the city.

I knew the first thing I had to do, and I dreaded that more than anything.

I had to go home.

I lugged my suitcase the ten-minute walk from the station to the townhouse I called home for eighteen years. The familiar street brought back memories I wanted to keep at bay forever. Most of them consisted of me running away from our house, tears welling in my eyes. Some of them were of me peering down this very road, on the phone with emergency services, wondering where the ambulance was when I thought my mother had overdosed. The neighbors hated when I did that.

It was one of those streets where every house is attached to the one next to it, and each one looked like an exact copy of the last. The only defining feature in each one was when a door was painted a different color or had different lace curtains in the window. I could always tell which one was mine – third from the last, on the left, with a red door that had begun to chip years ago. Now, it didn’t even look red. The door itself looked like, with one blow of wind, it would crumble in on itself.

I turned the key in the lock, surprised it still worked. I don’t even remember the last time I used it. Six months ago? A year? I was also surprised to see the door was even locked. Usually, she forgot to lock it.

Inside was as musty as ever. I didn’t miss the smell. She never opened the windows. She never bothered with heat or aircon; always mumbled something about companies stealing her money. The only ventilation the house ever received was her opening and closing the front or back doors. The smell of old cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air, attaching itself to every surface.

I closed and locked the door behind me and switched on the lights. They flickered for a moment, but then the yellow light filled the doorway. It opened to a small hallway with carpeted, stained stairs leading up to the second floor. The door on the right lead to the decrepit kitchen that leads to the dining room and to the back door. The door on the left went into the living room and first-floor bathroom.

I climbed the stairs to the top floor, turned down the hallway past the bathroom and spare bedroom – which had always instead been storage of random objects she never could seem to get rid of – to the familiar door at the end of the hall. I could spot it anywhere. It was covered with stickers and drawings I’d made when I was little. Over the top was a handwritten sign by me declaring for everyone to stay out. I remembered closing it for the last time when I moved out for uni all those years ago. I told myself I’d never come back. Besides the required holidays, I never did. Until now.

I turned the old, rusted knob and walked into the room. Everything was the same. The same pink bed sheets and quilted cover, the desk littered with photographs I took a lifetime ago. I chucked my luggage onto the bed and unpacked the entire thing. Really, I was buying time until I had to be at the care facility. Hospice just seemed like a cruel word. Nothing about it seemed comforting.

I went back downstairs to look in the kitchen for food. I didn’t want to touch anything – every inch was covered in some sort of grime or dust. It didn’t look like anyone had been in the kitchen in months. Maybe she hadn’t.

I cracked open the fridge and frowned. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was completely empty. I guess I should have been glad I didn’t find some old, rotting food. But there wasn’t even a pint of ice cream in the freezer. It was almost noon, and my stomach was grumbling.

I reached under the sink and pulled out the plastic Tesco bags. I grabbed my purse again from upstairs and walked to the Tesco up the road. I guess one upside to living outside of a city was that the grocery stores were so much bigger. Since I didn’t know how long I’d be staying, I stocked up on all the foods I could fit in the two bags. I also bought a few cleaning supplies. If I was going to be staying in that god-forbidden house, I may as well try and make it presentable for whoever would buy it next.

After I ate lunch, I knew it was time. I couldn’t procrastinate any longer. I searched for the location of the hospice and was disappointed it was only a 20-minute walk away. I spent the time on the walk wondering what I would say to her. What could I say to her? I had nothing to apologize for – she made my life a toxic hell; I had to escape. Turning around and coming back just never seemed like an option available to me. It would only cause a spiral of events. Someone needed to break the cycle. I wasn’t sorry it was me.

Through the trees beginning to bud for spring, I could see the building with the sign reading “THE SHAKESPEARE HOSPICE” on the side. I followed the signs for the entrance and paused for a second outside the front doors.

Walk in. Do it.

Inside, I knew, everything would change. From here on out, my life was going to be different. Soon, I’d be an orphan. Well, sort of. I had no clue the whereabouts of my father nor did I care. I didn’t even remember what he looked like anymore. Maybe he was dead.

I walked through the doors, and a lady with a kind face greeted me. “Hi, can I help you?”

I glanced around the room. It looked like a regular urgent care waiting room. Yellow walls, inspirational posters, old magazines on tables with unknown stains and watermarks. It smelled like bleach.

“I’m looking for Mary Pearson,” I replied.

“Alright, give me one second to look her up. Are you family?”

I nodded. “Uh, yeah. I’m her daughter.”

“Can I just have you sign in here, please?” She pointed to the clipboard in front of her and handed me a pen.

I scribbled down my name and the time of my arrival. She also handed me one of those large stickers that said, “HELLO, MY NAME IS _________” along with the logo of the hospice.

“Right, so–” she peered down at the sign-in sheet “–Carolina, your mother does have a few outstanding fees that will need to be taken care of before the month is out, but you don’t have to worry about those now since it’s only the beginning of the month. I can give you those papers when you leave if you want.” I nodded. She pulled out a paper anyways, but it didn’t list numbers on it. “This is a map of the grounds.” She took the pen I had just used and pointed it on a spot. “Your mother’s room is 007, so right down that hallway. Take a right, and it’ll be the second on the left. Visiting hours are until 5, unless under special circumstances.” She didn’t have to say what those “special circumstances” where – death. “Do you have any questions?”

“I’m sorry, you said she has outstanding fees?”

The woman nodded. “Yes, but you don’t have to worry about those right now.” I knew she was trying to be polite, especially under the circumstances of her job at a hospice, but her smile was driving me insane.

“I’m just confused. How long has she been here? If she only just got here, how–”

“Oh.” Her smile finally fell. But now that it did, I wanted nothing more than for it to be back. She looked sad. “I’m-I’m so sorry, I thought you knew. Mrs. Pearson has been here since the beginning of last month.”

A rock fell in my stomach. She’d already been here an entire month. Who knew how much longer she would have? I figured she had called me when she first got here. But… she had been here an entire month already. I didn’t know much about hospices, but I knew they were the last stop for anyone who was admitted. They didn’t tend to last long.

“Of course I knew,” I lied. “I just assumed the NHS would take care of it.”

She smiled sweetly again, but smaller this time. “Some, not all, I’m afraid.”

I swallowed, nodded, and took the directions she gave me to her room. I turned right at the end of the hall, and sure enough, I saw the room number 007 greeting me two doors down. The door was closed, which I was thankful for. It gave me the time to pluck up enough courage to reach for the handle and turn it.

What I saw almost made me gasp. The woman in the bed, I knew, was my mother but looked nothing like her. I had Googled the effects of liver cancer, but nothing could prepare you for the real thing. Her skin was a sickly yellow color, her hair was greasy and matted, probably from not being able to shower from feeling ill or having too little strength, and, most surprising of all, her abdomen. Whereas I expected her to be skin and bones, her abdomen was abnormally swollen. She looked nothing like the mother I knew. I even double-checked the room number to make sure this was the right one. It was.

I trepidatiously walked into the room. She was asleep, and I didn’t want to wake her. I didn’t want her to see the horrified look on my face. She had all sorts of IVs stuck in her, along with an oxygen line and a feeding tube leading into her nose. Her mouth was slightly parted in her sleep state. I noticed her lips were chapped. Something about this room felt suppressing, despite the large window and brightly colored walls.

I set my bag down on the floor and grabbed a chair to pull closer to her. I didn’t want to touch her, still afraid of what I saw. I watched her chest rise and fall, just to make sure she was still alive.

I hardly noticed when a man walked into the room until he spoke my name.

“Carolina?”

When I looked up, I noticed the familiar face looking down at me. I didn’t know what emotion I was expressing, but it quickly changed to shock.

“Callum?” I gasped. “What are you doing here?” I asked, stupidly.

Callum was someone I knew growing up in primary and secondary school. We dated for a couple of years on and off before we both parted ways for uni. We hadn’t spoken since. Now, here he was, wearing a doctor’s lab coat and holding a clipboard.

“I work here,” he replied. Duh. “It’s good to see you.” He offered a kind smile – one, I found, I could not return, no matter how much I wanted to.

I fumbled for words. “I, uh, yeah, you too. Wait – you’re a doctor? Shouldn’t you still be in school?”

“Sort of. I still am. I just started vocational training here in autumn.”

“Wow, that’s-that’s great. Good for you.” I attempted a smile. It was weakly received.

He stared at me for another second before shaking his head slightly. “So, um, Mary – your mother – is one of my patients. Car, I’m so sorry.”

I glanced down at her decrepit figure and shook my head. “No, don’t be. This was a long time coming,” I muttered lowly. I kept my eyes off of him. I knew the look he was giving me. I didn’t want the pity.

“She’s on some heavy sedatives for the pain, but I could wake her if you want?”

I sat back in the chair, shaking my head again. “No, that’s alright.”

“Listen, I know you probably want some time. Whenever you’re ready, we can have the talk about where to go from here.”

I look back up at him. “What do you mean?”

He looked a bit uncomfortable. He shifted his weight on his feet, glanced at my mother, and then back at me. “I mean, just the logistics. The update on her health, what the protocols are, all those types of things.”

I pursed my lips into a thin line. I pressed them tightly together, it almost hurt. Almost.

“We can now if you want,” I said. “How long does she have?”

Callum pulled over another chair to sit on the other side of the bed from me. “Well, since she was diagnosed last November–”

“Wait, November?” I gasp.

“Yes,” he answers slowly, unsure.

“I had no idea,” I whisper, looking over at her unconscious figure again. She had been sick for months, and she said nothing. Then again, I didn’t call her either. Not even on Christmas Day.

“Like I said, we can talk about this another time if you want.”

I looked away from her before I let the tears form. “No, let’s do this now. I need to be prepared.”

He was staring at me, probably debating whether or not to speak. Eventually, he began, “She was diagnosed last November with stage four liver failure. End-stage, as it sometimes is called. Considering she’s held on this long says something about her, I think.” I scoff. He ignores me. “However, seeing her health now, I’d say it’s not much longer. A week, maybe two at best. We’re keeping her comfortable, so she doesn’t feel any pain.”

Lucky her, I wanted to say.

“What happens… after?” I asked.

He didn’t have to ask me to specify. He knew what I was asking about. “We’ll send her to the funeral home of your choice, where you can decide the steps from there. Do you know if she has a Will?”

I let out a small, sad laugh. “I haven’t a clue. I don’t think she even has one if I’m to be honest. She doesn’t seem the type.”

Callum gives a curt nod. “Then it’s up to you to decide what to do when the time comes.”

I run a hand over my face, rubbing my eyes deeply. “Great,” I say sarcastically.

I keep my hand over my face. I don’t want to cry. I don’t even love the woman. But something attaches me to her. She is my mother, after all. At one point, I’m sure, there was love between us. I don’t hear Callum get up or leave, so I assume he’s still in the room, silently watching me.

“I can help, if you want,” he said softly.

I removed my hands. I saw the pity on his face I didn’t want to see. “Thanks,” I offered in reply, then added, “but I’ll be fine.”

“How have you been?”

He always had sweet eyes. They were the softest shade of blue. They reminded me of the wool scarf I got for Christmas one year when I was eight. I wore that scarf every day that winter. I was so glad it was a deep shade of blue because it became ratty rather quickly from its everyday use.

He was a thickly built man since he played rugby every year in secondary school. I imagined he continued to play at uni, too. After our final and official break up, I knew I would miss his arms the most. They always seemed to fit around me perfectly. He would kiss my shoulder when he thought I was asleep. He always loved running his fingers through my hair. He was the warmth I needed; the warmth I never had at home. I guess, in a way, he was my home during those times.

“I’ve-I’ve been fine,” I stuttered, trying to put the old memories out of my mind. I had to look away from him and focus on a loose strand of string on my coat.

“I hear you’ve been living in London. How’s that?”

I laughed. “Hard.” I paused. “My flatmate, Pippa Wellington, you remember her, right? – God bless her – has a stable job so she’s been paying the brunt of the bills. But I actually just got a real job for the first time, so I hope to change that soon.”

“Oh yeah?” He sounded genuinely excited, so I had to look up. His smile was blooming, accentuating his tiny dimples in his cheeks. I guess I always had a thing for guys with dimples. “What job is that?”

For some reason, I started going red. “Um, I’m actually working for the palace. I’m one of the royal photographers.”

Callum sat back quickly in his chair as if someone knocked him back. “What! That’s amazing! Have you met the family, then?”

The string on my jacket had never been so interesting as that point. I was doing anything not to meet his eyes. I had been successful up until now about not thinking of Prince Harry. “Yeah, I have. I’m Prince Alfred’s photographer, actually. Weird, huh?”

“That’s…” He shook his head. “That’s amazing, Car. Really. I’m proud of you.”

I nodded, finally glancing up at him. “Hey, you too, you know. You’re a doctor! Like, a proper doctor.”

“Almost,” he adds, cheekily.

“Almost,” I said, raising my hands. “Sorry. Almost a doctor. Last I recall, you wanted to be a musician.”

“Yeah well…” He trailed off, glancing down into his lap. “Strange how things change, huh?”

“Yeah.”

An awkward silence fell between us then. I wondered if he was thinking about our past as well. The nights I would come running to his house, tears streaming down my cheeks because I couldn’t afford dinner and my mother was passed out.

He cleared his throat suddenly and stood from the chair. “Listen, I’ve got a few other patients to get to. If you’re free, we could grab a drink tonight or sometime? I have a feeling we have a lot to catch up on.”

I nodded, more enthusiastically than I intended. “Yeah, of course. I’d love to.”

“It’s good to see you, Car. I’m sorry it’s under these types of circumstances.”

I stood from my chair, and we awkwardly shook hands over the bed. “Good to see you, too, Callum.”

“I’ll call you,” he said as he exited the room.

I wondered if he really would.

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wichitahandyman · 4 years ago

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handymanservicesvegas · 4 years ago

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handymanremodeling8151 · 4 years ago

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There’s no ‘ifs and buts’ that the lifespan of regularly serviced air conditioning units will outlast units that have been neglected. We are still servicing units that we installed over ten years ago which run as well as they did the day they were installed. Conversely, we’ve seen the same branded units that have needed replacing after only three years due to the lack of regular servicing. Well-maintained air conditioning equipment keeps running at peak performance and keeps energy bills down! Call Best Albuquerque Handyman & Remodeling for air conditioning service.

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london-aircon-company · 1 year ago

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handymanmcallen · 4 years ago

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antiziosadventureinokinawa · 7 years ago

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First week

So I left Sweden early morning on the 24:th with a tearful farewell to my parents and sister, I did have company by a classmate who were heading for the same place as me, but different ways. So at London we separated with me going to Tokyo and him to Hong Kong, and then both of us to Naha. I probably was a bit luckier as I didn’t have as long time to wait for the next plane in either places.

I actually found a Harry Potter store on Heathrow which was kinda funny, and had some pretty disgusting noodles for breakfast. So onto the flight for Tokyo, which became late because of some baggage och passenger or something, and the flight was pretty boring, tried to sleep but couldn’t sleep very well, and it was so tight, somebody wanna donate so I can take first class back home? So I watched the third season of Broadchurch instead.

Arriving in Tokyo we were like an hour late, which made me kinda nervous because my plane should have left in an hour I wouldn’t have had time to do anything. Luckily they were waiting for me at the airport and having booked me on a later flight and went with me through the whole process which made my life so much easier since I had to check out my luggage and check it back in. So then I had to navigate Haneda airport to my flight, which was also kinda interesting. I think it’s much bigger then I realize. But I got on the right plane, even if that was also a bit late, and arrived safe and sound in Naha, where I found the pick up crew for the Ryudai.

Also it was so hot and humid and I had a sweater and a tanktop. When I left Sweden I was also wearing a jacket, so it was quite a shock. When arriving at the International house we were given a pack of papers about different things, like life on campus and applying for residence card and so on, and we also got introduced to our tutors, well those of us who were lucky to already be assigned out tutors. My tutor didn’t have that much time, but she took me for a short shopping to buy some food and some necessities like toilet paper. During the night I had trouble sleeping since I missed my family and hadn’t figured out how the air con worked. So it was a pretty miserable night.

The next day (26:th) I met Yudai (who was one of the exchange students to sweden last year and who knows my tutor) and met up with my tutor to go for some proper shopping at San-A. Luckily of the the previous Swedish student had left some things so I didn’t have to buy nearly as much new stuff, because my kitchen was pretty much fully equipped. But like pillow and some other stuff needed to be bought. And food. And an adapter for my computer, because the one I bought didn’t work for some reason. Then in the evening we met up with Yudai and classmate to go out eating. And it felt kinda strange cause everything seems to be pork everywhere. I prefer chicken or fish or something vegetarian. Oh well. Still had problems falling asleep and missed my family.

The 27:th I set up internet in my room and Rina (my tutor) gave me a tour around the campus and we filled in the necessary papers (somewhat) in preperations for the next day. Talked to my friend T and I cried for a while, because I missed my family and friends like crazy. Then I talked to my sister and dad and cried some more. Slept better this night since I had talked to friends and family and I’d learned how to use the aircon.

28:th (Thursday) we went to the Nishihara town office to register for residence card and National Health Insurance. I also got my student card. Talked to some more exchange students because why not. Also most of out conversation is in English, because I’m not that comfortable with Japanese. So yeah. That will hopefully change soon enough.

29:th (Friday) orientation with even more information and introduction from the police. I’m thinking about singing up for the peraperadan where I’ll be able to interact with Japanese students that wanna practice English. Had lunch with some of the exchange students which was pretty funny. The the afternoon it was also a briefing of class registration and learned what people would be in my class.

So on Saturday I didn’t do that much other then say in my apartment and study kanji, also talked to mum for the first time since I left. Today I went to San-A and did some shopping. Also I’ve grown more and more used to the weather so I’ve pretty much stopped using the air con even if it’s 30 degrees Celsius outside and pretty humid, or maybe it’s just gotten a bit colder and less humid. I also saw the small park 南上原糸蒲公園 and that had some pretty good sight over town.

So school starts tomorrow. Wish me luck.

#antizios adventure in okinawa #antizio #so that's pretty much my first week

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handymanservicesofmcallen-blog · 6 years ago

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elevenhoursinfront-blog · 8 years ago

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8th March 2017

Steve’s alarm went off at 0515. He left for work at 0600 and was back by 0645. Turns out, the sand hole was rained in too much and they didn’t require Steve as it was too dangerous. The company were told but didn’t tell Steve not to come in… The manager tried to get Steve to stay - he said he would pay him out of his own pocket. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything Steve could do so he had to go back home.

My alarm went off at 1000. I told myself to have a lay in but I didn’t want to waste the day. We both went down for breakfast. It was absolutely packed! There were groups of people sitting on the floor eating so it was even difficult to walk through. It was absolutely chucking it down with rain so I guess nobody had plans. I text Natalie - they lady who offered me the job, asking what was going on. It felt like I was waiting for a miracle. She replied straight away apologising. She explained that they had a brand new restaurant opening that she wanted me to work for. It has 3 more weeks of building work before I could start. I’m heart broken. I was so excited by the sound of it but I couldn’t wait 3 weeks for employment. I’d only have 1 month before I flew up to Cairns. She told me to seek employment until it opens. I haven’t told her I’m leaving in May. So, Melbourne?

Steve and I got ready and I dragged him out to find somewhere that could do my eyebrows. Sounds stupid, but they needed threading/waxing asap. It had been a month since they were done and they were well past using tweezers. My hair grows stupidly fast.

We got the train for 3 stops to Central. We hadn’t walked around here before so it was nice to be somewhere new. It was massive and there were shops everywhere. We walked about 15 minutes until I found a shopping centre with an eyebrow threading place inside. $37!!!!!!! For my brows to be threaded and dyed. No. My heart shattered. I had to suck up the $20 and get them threaded. I bought my own dye from a pharmacy so I could do it at home. Ridiculous. Would normally cost me £12 at home. Luckily, it should last a month.

There was a massive shop inside called “K-Mart”. We walked around and I was finally in my element. CHEAP CLOTHES. CHEAP EVERYTHING. It looks exactly like Tesco with Primark prices. Shoes for $4. TOP FOR $5! In my size too. The shop had big sizes, proper sizes. 14’s that we’re actually 14’s and not 10’s. I loved it. I got a couple of bits including Bridget’s! A personal favourite of mine. Big knickers that hold everything in is a God send in my opinion. I also managed to whack my forehead on a metal pole holding clothes up. I now have an egg and a bruise to show for it.

We walked around and found H&M… With a massive sale on. Of course I was partial to a slight bit of window shopping. It got to roughly 1700 when we were finished in the shopping centre. I told Steve I didn’t want to travel home in rush hour so we found a pub.

Conveniently, there was a pub opposite the centre. It was happy hour from 1700-1900. I was extremely happy. I messaged our friend Josh, who moved to central, to come join us. Luckily, his hostel was a 1 minute walk around the corner. He was with us in no time. I ordered Summersby - an apple cider. It was lovely and refreshing. Steve ordered different pints each time as he couldn’t find a nice one.

The two hours went past and I had a good 4-5 ciders. It was fair to say I was tipsy. Cider made me feel extremely bloated and ucky. I know it’s not a real word, but it’s a great way to describe how I felt.

Josh ran home as it was chucking it down and Steve and I walked to the station. It was only 15 minutes. We got the train home and got into the hostel. Everyone was getting ready to go out and I was well and truly ready to go to bed. I was stupidly tired. You get stages when you drink and I was at the tipsy tired stage. Steve was just normal. I was even too tired to blog so I would personally like to apologise to all my loyal fans (Nan and Grandad Richards).

I went to sleep but it was an awful sleep. Majority of the room came back around 0200. The Scottish two are ridiculously noisy. Steve is very close to losing the plot with them. A guy from Belgium checked in and his English is better than mine. I thought he was from London.

It got to 0300 and the aircon went off. I don’t know whether someone turned it off or it stopped working. I got up and went to the fuse box to turn it on again.

Steve’s alarm went off at 0515 for work. It woke me up and everything was stupidly loud. I spent 15 minutes looking for my earplugs… I got out of bed, checked under my pillows, down the side of the bed, pulled my mattress out until I found them. IN MY EARS. How did I not realise they were in my ears already? I needed to go back to sleep..

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corporatechauffeurmel-blog · 5 years ago

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mccarranhandymanservices-blog · 5 years ago

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