#londnopoem

[winterbluvixen]

Tied wings.

you don’t eat so much?

Don’t starve yourself!

Eats-

You eat too much , you are getting so fat, You finished ALL the food ! 

you don’t Sleep enough?

-Sleeps

you are SO lazy! what do you even do in life!? you do nothing all you DO IS SLEEP! 

Why don’t you do something you are good at doing !? 

Does that something- 

WHAT kind of a job is that !? you don’t even earn that much money!? 

why are you always on your laptop! all you do is sit on your ass in your room doing nothing ! and go out with your friends and waste the MONEY you do have on bullshit.

Did you know that while im in my room? 

i am sleepless due to the nights i am up networking , studying, getting a business running? crafting the next idea? with no help or support setting up an interface ? , my body shutting down eyes peaking to close? my head swirls in thought constantly of stress that i can’t handle but am trying to ? 

didn’t you know i don’t eat because sometimes i can’t physically handle it and my stomach is in somuch pain and when i do eat that little bit of something i liked i tried to enjoy it as much as i can !? before having to feel that pain like some one kicked me in the stomach, the brutal agony of digestion? 

did you know that when i worked i felt dizzy, and that i broke a sweat every time i blacked out, and i stood on my feet for hours serving a purpose? did you know that the hours i took extra at night were for extra money to pay for my actual dream? 

Did you know now why i never gave you a penny?

why i never ask for a penny?

why i don’t connect with you? 

why i feel so alone?

Because you never once told me a word and stuck to it , just like the world that sense of support was never there , therefore, don’t look for good in me when you just focus on my downfalls and not the pain that made me a successful human being , did you ever think of effecting my confidence when you called me names? after years of being bullied and attacked for no reason? no later than that having important person torn away from me ? then face the sublime pains of depression through depression and PTSD? because of all i have kept inside me and endured over the years? did you ever stop to think i AM not your punching bag that ever time i bend over to help you , you stepped on me .. 

and you want me to understand you?

.. Now you know. and its to late.