#loling at the nose one

[newvegascowboy]

Also dnd News, Red had another lil date with their dnd love interest and they "sparred" (in quotes because he actually beat the shit out of Red and they haven't gotten so low on hit points since they were KO'ed in August, 2 levels ago) and the dm and I were laughing about twee and nervous the (knight captain and career soldier) and (former hardened outlaw) both are about going out on ONE DATE

[kiddbegins]

He Won't Stop Staring - Will Halstead | 18+

prompt: “Why are you so worked up?" "Because they wouldn't stop fucking staring at you like they wanted to eat you." not requested

word count: idk

warnings: female reader, smut - [literally everything - oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex, slight orgasm denial, overstimulation, brief fingering..]

A/n: …. Yeah idk I think I got possessed or something

Masterlist

Will was what you could call the jealous type. Just a smidge. And by a smidge, it was a lot. He couldn’t help it. Whenever he saw someone making goo-goo eyes at you he felt his heart race in his chest and something take over before he butted in and swooped you away.

He didn’t make a habit of it. It wasn’t like he didn’t trust you, no it was other guys he didn’t trust. Especially not the guy sitting at the bar that was making clear sex eyes at you even though he was sitting right there.

You paid no attention to it, knowing that what you were wearing was hot and that if it got Will turned on then it was sure to pull other people’s heads, men and women alike. “Will, eyes are over here baby,” You coo softly, a light laugh.

Usually you’d be saying that if his eyes were lingering on the cleavage of your shirt or dress, not when he was shooting daggers across the room at some guy that hadn’t even spoken a word to either of you. “C’mon, why are you so worked up?”

His eyes trailed up your hand as you put it over his, following up your bare arm until his eyes found your face. “Because, he won’t stop staring at you like he wants to eat you.” He didn’t hide the annoyance in his voice, the squeeze of his hand the only thing keeping him from going up to the guy and giving him his two cents.

With a sigh you lean forward, looking up at him, “Yeah well he doesn’t get the opportunity to do that now does he?” You raised an eyebrow at him, nodding your head to the exit. You guys had already paid for everything, just nursing the end of the last couple drinks that you’d ordered.

Through clenched teeth he sighed, “No he does not,” In seconds he was out of his seat, his hand tightly in yours as he pulled you out of the restaurant. His lips were on yours by the time you hit the side of the car, moving together the way they always did.

“Wait til we get back to your place,” You gently pushed him back, his eyes falling down over you as he pressed one last kiss to your jaw before rounding the car and getting in the passenger seat.

Will tried his hardest to keep his hands to himself during the drive, putting his hand possessively onto your thigh and keeping it there. The urge to move it higher was strong but he didn’t want to start something that he couldn’t finish until the two of you were upstairs.

The second you heard the door lock you tossed your shoes and bag to the side, just in time for Will to grab your waist and lift you up. Your back pinned to the wall as he pressed into a steamy kiss. He couldn’t help it.

Everything that kept him sane and cool had gone out the window and pure primal instinct took over as he sucked hickies onto any spot he could get his mouth on. “You…” He trailed off, sliding a hand along your thigh, pushing the dress you were wearing up. “Are mine.”

He held onto your hips as he pressed his hips into yours, groaning against your skin. “All mine.” Will’s words faded into the back of your mind as he rolled his hips against yours again, the slight friction only making your legs tighten around him.

“Will please-“ You breathed out, head loling back as his hot kisses crossed your throat, his nose trailing up as he pulled back to look at you.

There was pure lust in his eyes, he couldn’t even see anything through it. He was straining against his pants, hearing your soft gasps sending all of the blood going south, the friction helping immensely.

You put a hand on his cheek, kissing him roughly, “I’m yours. All yours.” At your words he pulled away from the wall, pulling you to the couch, in too much of a hurry to carry this on down the hall.

As soon as your back hit the fabric of the couch, Will was stepping back, his jeans and boxers coming off in one fell sweep as he leaned over you, letting you have the opportunity to pull his shirt off of him.

Once it was off you leaned forward, kissing his chest, before sliding down lower, hands sliding over his hips. “You’re the only one I want.” You mumble, looking up at him through your lashes, his breath hitching the second your hand wraps around him.

You’d sucked him off before but now it felt so, so personal. Like you had something to prove but not to him but for him. That you loved him more than anyone you’d ever known.

One long lick up his length sent chills down his spine, his body instinctively twitching forward. “God…” He breathed out, his eyes falling on you as you gave soft little kitten licks to the tip, smearing the precum around with your spit.

It didn’t take much for him to come undone, the warmth of your mouth as you slowly took him on had him mewling, his hand instantly sliding into your hair, grasping tightly. “You feel so good baby..” He let out a low moan, doing everything in his power to keep himself from fucking into your mouth.

Slowly you slid down to the hilt, your tongue circling as you pulled back up, lowering back down repeatedly. He tugged at your hair, knees almost buckling as you held onto his thighs for balance and leverage as you bobbed your head faster, craving to bring him just to the edge.

“Fuck, you keep going like that I’m gonna cum right now,” He clenched his jaw, feeling himself pulling closer and closer.

You pulled off, looking up at him, “Uh-uh, I want you in me when you do that,” You said low, your voice like honey as he reached down, pulling the panties off of you easily, your dress still sitting up at your hips

No matter how many times he saw you, Will still looked at you with big love filled eyes, even when he was seconds away from fucking your brains out.

“I swear you’re like an angel,” He muttered, leaning his knees against the couch as he lined himself up with you, reaching to grab your hand. “You ready?”

As soon as you nodded he pushed in, feeling you squeeze his hand as your legs parted more and more the farther in he got. As soon as he bottomed out he let go of your hand, bringing his to the side of your face. “Look at you all pretty and laid out for me.” He leaned forward, kissing you before rolling his hips up, smirking at the moan that slipped your mouth.

You reached to try and cover your mouth but Will instantly reached up, shaking his head, “No, I want to hear every little sound my girl makes.” He practically demanded, rocking his hips faster, pulling another moan from you.

“Will-“ His name fell off your tongue easier than anything you’ve ever said before. Your hands went to his shoulders, grasping on tightly, sure enough leaving imprints of your nails in his skin. “God you feel amazing,” Your head leaned back, trying to press any closer to him.

He gripped at your hips, tight enough there would be bruises in the morning, as he fucked into you faster, the moans and whimpers pushing him as far as he wanted. “You’re so beautiful.” His lips attached to your neck as you tried to hold him a scream.

With each movement he was pushing you closer and closer, the inevitable orgasm building up in your stomach, “Shit Will, I’m gonna-“ He shook his head slightly, his movements slowing down.

“Only when I let you.”

Your eyes met his as he pulled a hand, his thumb just ghosting over your clit, the feeling almost enough to send you over the edge.

As your hips bucked you looked up at him, “Will please, I need you,” You begged, holding the eye contact as he circled around you, in time with each movement.

He raised an eyebrow, setting you up to fail as he relentlessly attacked your clit, watching you squirm, bite your lip. Your cheek. Everything to keep your pleasure to yourself. But you couldn’t.

Your mind went black as you clenched so tightly around him, you were surprised he didn’t follow right away but instead his thrust picked up, fucking you through it.

The room spun as he continued to touch you, watching your eyes roll back, your back lift, thighs fighting to not press together.

“Will, please-“

“Oh I’m sorry, is this not what you wanted? To cum so bad?” He looked down at you, not stopping as you left scratches down his back.

He shifted the two of you, his hand going back to rub your swollen clit once you were situated , his dick further inside of you, the change of angle and pace giving nothing but another wave of pleasure to your body.

Your eyes screwed shut, not minding at all that he was using you the way he wanted, only caring that he was pushing your legs so far apart that you knew you’d be sore in the morning.

It only took a couple minutes before the familiar feeling built up in your body as strings of his name fell off your lips. “Go ahead baby, you’re doing so good. My girl taking me so well,” He leaned down, cooing into your ear.

The shiver of his breath went right to the spot between your legs, sending you right over the edge a second time, Will kissing at your neck as he gripped the back of the couch.

He was close himself, the feeling of you around him, the wetness and the sound of your mewls and moans bringing him closer and closer. He pulled back to look down at you, fucking you through your second orgasm as he felt himself getting sloppy.

You looked up at him, letting out a light breath, “Please cum in me,” You asked softly, those four words tying the knot that sent him overboard. with one final thrust he collapsed forward, a loud string of swears slipping from his mouth as he released inside of you.

His hips bucked against yours a couple more times, earning a whine from him before he pulled out, leaning down to kiss you. “I love you.” He said so firmly, with such passion that your heart felt like it grew a thousand times.

“I love you too,” You said back, leaning the rest of the way into the kiss. He grabbed each side of your face, both of your chests heaving and slick with sweat as he reached back to undo the back of your dress.

A light smirk on his face he looked up at you, “I have one last idea if you’re down for it my love,” He cooed, his hands dancing along your back.

Even with the lack of breath you nodded, still craving his touch. “Please,” You muttered, Will instantly leaning to pull the dress clean off of you, lifting it over your head.

“Alright, you remember what to do if it’s too much yeah?” He pressed a firm kiss to the front of your throat, leaving a mark before dipping lower across your collarbone.

Faintly you nodded, breathing out a sigh, “Tap your shoulder twice.” You answered, feeling his hand slide up your thigh. A million and one thoughts were running through your mind, every single one being replaced as Will pressed a finger into you.

A sharp gasp left your lips, back arching into his lips as your hips twitched towards him, still sensitive as he twisted his finger inside of you. “Good girl,” He hummed, sucking clear marks down your chest until his face was aligned with his hand.

His breath hit your skin, him looking up at you as he left more kisses on your inner thigh, inching closer to your pussy. “God Will…” You whined out.

The sound of his name once again leaving your lips had him sliding a second finger in, pumping in and out strategically. Of course he knew how to use his hands, he was a doctor. Past plastic surgeon. He could lead you to another orgasm with his eyes closed.

Will’s tongue swiped along your clit, circling it slowly as he watched you fall apart under his touch. Your hips twitched up, his other hand coming up to push them down, holding you against the cushions as he replaced his fingers with his mouth, devouring every single bit of you.

The mixture of you and him inside you was heaven, his mouth moving quickly. He put your legs over his shoulders, looping his arm around them, using his first two fingers to rub against your clit as his tongue worked across you.

“Fuck, fucking-“ You practically screamed out, your hands falling into his hair, holding tightly. “Will-“ No other words came to mind as you were filled with his touch.

It didn’t take long for your legs to shake, heels crossing. As your third orgasm ripped through you as you wet his face, trying not to grind down on his tongue, his nose bumping your sweet spot as he looked up at you, not stopping until you told him to.

If he could stay between your legs for the rest of his life he would, it was probably his favorite part of the night. Tasting you, being able to bring you into the trembling state with just his tongue.

It was blissful. As he worked you over, openly ready to build you up for a forth time you reached out, tapping his shoulder as your heart hammered in your chest.

He was off of you in seconds, instead leaning up to put a hand on your cheek, “Are you okay?” He asked softly, looking down at your flushed and fucked out face.

Slowly you nodded, “Mhm, jus’ need a minute,” You breathed out, your legs and hips sore. Will stroked a thumb across your cheek before shifting onto the couch.

“How about we call it a night? Come here,” He lightly grabbed your hand, guiding you over to him to lay against his chest. “Rest a little and we can get up to take a shower in a couple minutes,” His hand raked through your hair comfortingly, his eyes never leaving you.

You smiled and nodded, “Okay,” You slightly lifted to look at him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

:)

[yuu3585]

𝙷𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 ୨୧

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - Wriothesley x Cyno

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 - Cyno has a vagina, Oral (Cyno receiving), fingering/finger fucking, non-mentioned age gap, mentioned marking, office sex, sex mentioned at the end

𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎’𝚜 - Good boy, pretty boy, bunny, little prince, your grace

𝚆𝙲 - 1.3k

𝚊𝚘𝟹 𝚕𝚒����𝚔 - (♥)

𝙰/𝙽 - mdni (17+), character x character story, reposted after deleting the old one

——

A small moan echoed in the Duke’s quiet office of the Meropide as he kneeled to the general sitting in his chair… “You taste so sweet bunny” the Duke whispered, his hot breath sending a shiver up Cyno's spine. Wriothesley hands gripped tightly on Cyno's thighs keeping the soft flesh open for him.

The Duke presses a kiss to Cyno's folds, slipping his tongue in causing the general to let out a few moans. They were quiet but, to Wriothesley those moans spoke wonders to him, as he pleased Cyno with his tongue

“Good boy”

He murmured, swirling his tongue in Cyno folds enjoying every movement he made. The Duke pulled Cyno closer to him, wrapping his scarred arms around Cyno’s waist. Murmuring as he licked and sucked Cyno's clit

Cyno covered his mouth with his hand, gripping at Wriothesley’s jacket draped over his shoulders. The Duke let out a gruff laugh as he continued, eyeing Cyno’s as he shacks in his grasp as his fingers rub gently against the general’s waist, and inner thigh.

“Your grace…?”

Cyno crocked, squeezing his eyes shut as Wriothesley pushes himself deeper in, nose blowing warm air against his sensitive clit. Wriothesley hums sucking slowly, squeezing Cyno's thigh gently as his thumb brushes the general’s back. Pressing his tongue deep into the general’s cunt, the Duke laughs as Cyno moans, gripping Wriothesley's jacket tightly pushing his back against Wriothesley's chair as his hips move farther into Wriothesley’s grip…

The duke laughs, sucking and loling his tongue in and out of Cyno causing the young man to moan quite loud, Wriothesley quickly snakes his hand holding the general's waist to his mouth shushing him, the duke moves his head away from Cyno’s clit listening closely. His fingers move over Cyno’s body, gliding gently on his skin before brushing them over Cyno clit…

“Shh~ quiet”

Wriothesley mouthed, pushing one of his callous fingers in with a wet sloppy sound following. The Duke moved his finger in and out slowly, causing Cyno to shake and breathe heavily causing him to smirk. Wriothesley picked up on muffled voices outside his office, he couldn’t truly hear what they were saying only able to make out a few words

“Duke… please…. Speak… with…him”

Wriothesley groaned, someone wanted to speak with him when he was busy and had stated not to be disturbed while his guest was present, the Duke rolled his eyes glancing back over to Cyno. He smirked slowing his pastedown before slipping another one of his callous fingers in with another loud sloppy sound

Cyno moaned, legs twitching as Wriothesley moved his fingers at a steady pace. He continued with this pace before his office door echoed open, Cyno froze gripping Wriothesley's jacket tightly around him hiding his exposed body, Wriothesley stopped his movements pressing his free hand over Cyno's mouth

“Quiet!”

The Duke mouthed, shifting slightly in his kneeled position. Wriothesley waited for a moment waiting to hear the person who had just stepped into his office to speak, after a long silence the person finally spoke “You're Grace?” They asked, Wriothesley groaned quietly giving a quiet sigh “Yes, what do you need I’m busy!” He stated harshly, brushing his thumb over Cyno's lips

The person coughs, clearly feeling discomfort for an unknown reason “The report you asked for yesterday? It’s finished shall I come up and give it to you?” They questioned, Wriothesley thought for a moment, clearly his throat before speaking “I’m busy bring the report by later” The person shuffled their feet moving only a few steps

Cyno held his breath, as his body shivered he could feel Wriothesley’s finger pressed inside him, as his other hand held his chin brushing his callous finger against his lips. “If I may your grace, just how busy are you?” The person questioned, Wriothesley rolled his eyes. Gently brushing his thumb in between Cyno’s thighs against the general’s clit, Cyno bit his lip as Wriothesley answered the person

“I am having a meeting with Cyno the General Mahamatra! If you would please leave me so I could get back to our meeting”

Wriothesley informed, smirking as he eyed Cyno. Causing the general to blush “I-I see I’ll return later! Goodbye, you're grace!” They stutter, stumbling out of the duke’s office. Wriothesley laughed gruffly, moving his hand away from Cyno’s chin to his chest tracing his fingers over small marks on the general’s chest

“Be a good boy, and be quiet for now~”

Wriothesley whispered, moving his hand down from Cyno's chest to his thighs. His fingers moved at a quick paste, causing Cyno to moan and his cunt to let out wet sloppy sounds as Wriothesley’s fingers moved faster, the Duke laughed moving his head down.

Blowing his warm breath against Cyno's cunt, he curls his fingers slightly causing Cyno to moan extremely loud, Wriothesley huffs a laugh as he pulls his fingers out slowly causing a wet pop to sound. His fingers were covered in Cyno slit, dripping down onto the cold metal floor of Wriothesley’s office.

Cyno squeezed his eyes shut, mumbling out incoherent words to Wriothesley, the Duke hums sticking his finger into his mouth, sucking up the pleasant taste of Cyno's slit… he chuckles placing his free hand on the general’s shaking thigh, rubbing it gently

Wriothesley slides his fingers out of his mouth, clearing his throat as his hand starts to rub Cyno's other thigh, “How close are you, Bunny?” Wriothesley questioned, leaning his head back down to Cyno’s clit blowing warm air against the general’s cunt…

“C-closes!”

Cyno stammered, tears welling in his eyes Wriothesley smiled, shushing him softly as he pulled the general closer to him. His scarred hands move to open Cyno’s thighs, more rubbing circles into them Wriothesley chuckled, pressing his mouth right into Cyno's cunt.

He swirls his tongue into Cyno's clit, sucking harshly on its sensitive skin. Cyno whimpers, and moans as Wriothesley pushes himself in deeper, his teeth nip lightly as he tastes how wonderful Cyno is

“Fuck~”

Cyno curses, gripping Wriothesley's jacket tightly causing the Duke to laugh as he ate the general out, loling his tongue in and out of his clit. The general moans, throwing his head as tear stain his cheeks. Wriothesley sucks faster nibbling Cyno clit gently, as he gets closer and closer to his release

Cyno legs shake harshly as his breath becomes ragged and heavy, crying as his release comes closer and closer. “You're grace!?” Cyno crocheted out, voice cracking as he spoke, Wriothesley hummed continuing to lol his tongue in and out of Cyno

“C-close! So close!”

Cyno moaned, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Wriothesley spread Cyno's legs further apart, making them hit the arms of his chair. The duke breathes heavily as he sucks and slurps on Cyno's cunt, as his thumbs rub comforting circles into the general’s thighs

The quietness of Wriothesley’s office is broken with Cyno’s moans echoing possibly being heard by the two guards outside the office, Wriothesley laughs as he enjoys the taste of Cyno on his tongue. He groans loudly pressing himself closer to Cyno clit, the general moans as tears stream down his cheeks.

“C-cunning!”

He shouts, moaning extremely loud. His release almost choking Wriothesley, taking the Duke a moment to process what has happened. He stays there as Cyno’s sweet tasting release fills his mouth.

Cyno breathes heavily, legs twitching as Wriothesley holds onto them tightly, he lapses at Cyno’s cunt getting every drop of the sweet taste. As he swallowing the remaining of Cyno release

“You taste divine, little prince” he murmurs, rubbing circles into Cyno sore and tired legs… he hummed standing up hands leaving Cyno legs, he stretches for a moment. Eyeing his love mischievously.

Wriothesley scoops Cyno up, giving him a quick kiss, callous hands sliding under his thighs. Gently Wriothesley lays Cyno onto his desk, eyeing him smuggly. “Little prince, hope you won’t be too loud…” the duke whispers into Cyno’s ears, hands unbuckling his belt. As he pressing a kiss to the general’s cheek

“Better hurry before the report comes back… bunny”

——

M.list | Info/Rules

♡ 𝚈𝚞𝚞𝟹𝟻𝟾𝟻 - 2024

[toomuchracket]

Longtermbf!matty. Tormenting him with that quote about crappy coffee and boys who don’t care. Like captioning an Instagram post and crediting it to him. Or buying him a T Shirt with it on. Being asked your favourite Matty quote and quoting that (before admitting you’re joking and disclosing your favourite real lyric of his, of course).

i forgot about that quote oh my goddddddddd. also this feels very birthday-partyverse-coded to me for some reason. like maybe someone sends a screenshot of the tumblr quote (when it's originally posted) to the groupchat and everyone's pissing themselves laughing because - and matty points this out - how the fuck is it being attributed to him? it's so obviously not something he'd say! and it's a bit within your friend group for a while and then you all kinda forget about it, until years later when you're in urban outfitters (i don't know why, you just are) and they have a mug in the homeware section with the quote printed on it (because they would) and you're like. i have to buy this. and it's common knowledge you and matty are dating at this point so the girl at the till is like "oh my god?" when you hand her it to scan and you're like "i'm going to take the piss out of him SO BAD with this". and then when you get home you take a pic of yourself drinking from the mug and post it to insta like "jazzed with my new purchase today. have truer words ever been spoken?" and the fans are LOLing in the comments. and then the bold trumanblack comments on it like "you did not fucking buy that. jesus christ" and you reply "obv i did? and it's from urban so if you throw it out you'll be wasting like £48393 ly babe xo". and matty comes home and just throws total daggers at the mug but doesn't say anything about it. every time he's doing the dishes and it's there he grits his teeth and tries not to lob it out the window (you actually do use it regularly so he admits it would be a waste to get rid). and the next time you do a solo interview (maybe a social media one on the red carpet at a literary event) you get asked what quote of yours matty likes best and you're like aww that's a cute question and you answer it honestly, and then they ask you what your favourite of his is. and your brain just goes 😈 and you look dead into the camera (like matty talking about that fucking hyundai) and say the quote from your mug, and then laugh and say "no, that's a lie, i just like riling him up" and then you say your actual fave matty line. and when matty sees the vid on twitter or whatever it goes straight on the insta story like "she's lucky she's so hot that she can get away with tormenting me with this shit. nobody else could. just her. because i love her. even if she is a pain in the nose" <3

[ray-the-fanatic]

gave april, casey and karai redesigns in my au, via picrew cuz my drawing skills are still a wip, for fun vibe purposes

for april:

- made april's skin have a pink tint to fit her kraang origins (i also think it fits her character design)

- gave her heterochromia, her right eye is blue-ish gray while her left is dark green (again to fit her kraang origins), i always felt her n mikey's colors were too similar so i made her eyes more distinct

- her hair is more dark strawberry blonde-ish than red cuz i actually like the concept art of her being blonde

- i was torn between giving her braided pigtails or a pixie cut, in the end i stuck with the pixie cut as a homage to one of her concept designs and also cuz short hair april is a look™

- her clothing is more diverse, she still has her number 1 shirt but she changes styles from time to time depending on her mood (me fr)

- she's basically the plucky, fun loving big sis/aunt but will not hesitate calling out anyone's bs (esp her little bro's) and definitely wrecks any bad guys' shit. she's also kind of a snarky brat when it comes to the lesser villains and i love it lol

for casey:

- made casey's skin tone somewhat similar to his 03 incarnation but more distinct

- gave him dark brown eyes, i noticed there wasn't a lot of brown eyed characters in the 12 series so i took it as an opportunity

- poofier hair. i know casey's a rowdy boy but i feel like fluffy-messy hair fits him better both character wise and aesthetically wise

- also longer hair cuz he deserves it (he still has the bandana to keep his hair from getting in his eyes)

- he's a hockey player and a vigilante so he's got bandaged wounds along with cuts, bruises and scars galore, makes him feel scruffy y'know?

- short sleeve hoodie with flames (that still has spray paint marks) and cut jeans is this boy's clothing, he absolutely doesn't care abt his sense of style imo

- he's still a chaotic menace wanting to provide justice ™, just looks more scrappy and is an uncle now (he's also hispanic, fun hc)

for karai:

- tanner skin tone, she also has a more hooked nose shape and love it

- gave her red eyes instead of gold cuz it works for her, it also connects her with splinter (and donnie on some level)

- much like casey, her hair is bit longer n fluffier just styled somewhat similarly to her hair in canon, minus the bangs

- she has a different hair color on her streaks/to the roots instead of underneath, tho wasn't feeling the gold blonde so i made it white instead, it goes well with her eyes tbh (i made her sides and eye shadow white as a homage to her snake form but mostly cuz in my au instead of getting mutated she becomes heavily imprisoned and her sides turn white due to stress... did i mention this au gets angsty?)

- she has massive scars, she's been fighting since she was a kid so she's bound to have plenty of them, they're more visible than casey's tho and she's got a lot on her back as well

- for her non-battle ready clothes, she's mostly got a biker chick sorta style but on the clamer days she wears tank tops and black yoga pants, just a casual badass

- misguided antagonist turned big sister/aunt who's still processing her trauma just more healthier, therapy via baby turtle nephews. she's still cunning n sneaky just without the misguidedness. she also loves to spite her former villain allies, tiger claw esp

sorry this got long winded, just wanted to share my redesign n i got carried away with the explanations, i also gave everyone piecings cuz again... self indulgence 😅

Okay first off sorry for taking a bit to get to this be toed up with work and I wanted to give this a good read over when I saw the length cause I llve what you tell me for this fic ;3;

April:

I love the idea of her having some pink in her skin tone to allude to her being part krangg I loke the shorter hair as well mostly cause I enjoy the short hair style look I lole your idea for a strawberry blond in color cause in the concepts she was going to be blonde at one point. I think tje desing fits well for her personality idk but she got those cool aunt vibes to me xD

Caesy:

I love that you kept his brown eye. Maybe cause I have brown eyes but I love brown eye charayers cause brown eyes are very underrated u_u also love bringing back his skin tone from 03 ;3; and him being Hispanic yes look I'm Latina give me the rep!! I also see casey being Latino any way xD personal headcannon btws. So I enjoy when others put him as Latino or Hispanic;3; and I llve his look it fits casey has his own style and gotta stick to it uwu

Karai:

I love her;3; I like the white hair stripes though over tje blonde idk I feel it works better with her look and the homages to her snake mutation also yes give the angst I love angst 👀

[captainsspnanon]

Red Nose Day One Shot

Super super fun to watch, kudos to Stephen for going ALL OUT with his costume!  It was so sweet to hear that he’s going to be playing D&D with his original group again, so many years later.

The short one shots are fun, but also always end up feeling a bit too rushed, solely because of trying to get everything in as quick as possible.  It’s sometimes an issue with the four hour one shots as well, but those are capable of breathing just a bit more.

LOLing at hearing Ashley do a mix of Yasha and Damien, trying to remember a voice that you haven’t done for over half a year AND didn’t get as long to settle in to as the others?  Yeah, a struggle.  Even Sam’s Nott was a tad off at times, though Beau seemed pretty spot on.

Ah yes, level 5 Nott and her wandering eyes lust XD  I’m just about to get to Xhorhas in my rewatch, so Mr. Minotaur is coming soon XD

As much as I enjoyed this little one shot (and I DID, don’t get me wrong!  Tons of fun!), I think I prefer the first one, solely because of watching Stephen slowly fall back in love with D&D was so beautiful to watch.  While he’s having a blast this game, there’s not that sense of ‘welcome back’ as much as there was for the first one.

(I did get to donate this time around, woo!  I contributed by voting for Dignity.  I have no regrets)

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Speak No Evil (Part 23)

Warning on this chapter for animal death: Azula & Mai go hunting and there is some description of the hunt. Nothing hardcore though. But I still thought that I should mention it.

Seicho is still holding her when she wakes. She is surprised to find that it doesn’t startle her to find herself waking in the arms of someone who isn’t TyLee. She is surprised to find that it feels both liberating and refreshing. She gives Seicho a gentle squeeze, something of a test to make sure that she is clinging to something real. When Seicho doesn’t stir at her touch, she makes herself comfortable in the woman’s arms once more, she supposes that it can’t hurt to let her sleep in, they have to wait on Zuzu and the others anyhow.

She finds that it is lovely to sleep in the arms of another once again. She snuggles herself closer, finding it significantly easier to be affectionate when the woman is sleeping. So much easier when she doesn’t have to worry about the woman witnessing her more awkward gestures.

She must have fallen asleep again because when she opens her eyes next, it is to Seicho toying with her hair. She brushes it out of Azula face and strokes her cheek with her thumb. “Did you sleep well.”

Azula feels around for her parchment, not finding it soon enough, she settles for a nod.

“Good.” She squeezes the princess’ hand.

Azula sits up and rubs her eyes. She feels under her pillow and finds her parchment. ‘Have the others caught up yet?’

“We would have heard them if they did.” She waits for Azula to get to her feet before snatching the sleeping bag and rolling it up. “I don’t know what we’re going to do while we wait, we don’t exactly have a camp to tear down.”

‘Breakfast.’ Azula digs around her pack for her pouch of beech and hazelnuts. She is running short on them. They will have to go for a good hunt once they regroup.

“That isn’t much of a breakfast.” Seicho sits down next to her.

Seicho’s hand creeps over hers. Azula spares a glance at it, now cupped over her own. The woman is certainly growing a lot bolder. Though Azula can’t truly blame her; she had been the one to cuddle so close to her in the night.

She looks up to see the woman’s bright smile. Her grip tightens on Azula’s hand and it comes back to her, that light and kind feeling upon awakening in her arms. She thinks that she should be doing something, reciprocating in some way but she isn’t sure how. But what if she has it wrong again? What if she is overthinking and misreading? She stares off into the treeline, glancing over at Seicho every now and again. She should try to make conversation, she isn’t sure why words are so lost on her in the moment.

Seicho rolls her eyes. “For a brilliant strategist, you’re pretty clueless.”

Azula’s face flushes and she scrawls a hasty, ‘excuse me!?’

Seicho laughs one of her powerful laughs, a full body thing with her head thrown back. Azula stares at her until the laughing fit passes. Sehicho’s hand leaves her own, she slides herself closer, and tilts Azula’s head towards hers. She halts there, with Azula’s face inches from her own, “now I’m not going to do all of the work.”

Azula’s lips part. It has been so long--it feels as though it has anyhow--she isn’t sure that she remembers what she is doing. In all likeliness, Seicho probably won’t mind if her affections a rusty and lacking in grace. She closes the space between their lips.

It comes back to her quite naturally; she leans closer and slides her hands along and up Seicho’s spine.  Sehicho’s hand is still cupping her chin. Her lips tingle pleasantly when she pulls back, semi-breathlessly. “You’re a good kisser.” Seicho comments. Azula leans in for another. Her second kiss is a greedy thing, really--a self-indulgent attempt to make up what she has been deprived of for some time now.

This time Seicho pulls back, ‘’geeze, you really do put hard work into everything.”  She gives a breathy laugh.

Azula nods, ‘no point in doing something if you aren’t giving it everything.’ She folds the full parchment, puts it in her pocket, and takes a new one.

“Have you been saving all of those?”

‘Just our conversations.’ Reading them  helps her to sleep at night. Reading them reminds her that someone cares enough to fight her on her death wishes and patterns of self destruction.  Reading them reminds her that she can’t actively try to sabotage herself. She clutches her pocket. ‘They are important.’

She doesn’t think that Seicho quite grasps just what they mean to her, it doesn’t matter. She only needs to know that they are important, that she is important. That is enough.

“I am glad that I didn’t lose you.”

‘Because I’m a good kisser?’

“Because you’re you, Azula. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”  

For once she thinks that this is a good thing. And, finally, she is certain that she is also glad that she hadn’t given herself to the volcano.

.oOo.

As the days wear on they settle into a comfortable routine; as comfortable as the spirits will let Azula grow. At this point they seem more or less indifferent to her presence, it would seem that pulling at her hair and nipping at her arms and ankles is no longer an amusement to them. And she is thankful for it. Thankful but covered in small knicks and welts from their previously relentless onslaughts. By the time they are through with her, she is spent and worn and Seicho fights to keep her from going under again. She has to fight for herself. Mostly, she manages.

Zuko fares much better than she; he seems to have taken a shine to Zhang-Zin and the pair have taken to helping set up the shelter while she and Mai hunt and Seicho gathers firewood. This is part of their daily routine and Azula supposes that it is what is keeping her sane. To have some semblance of order.

She peeks her head around a tree, the tigermonkey that they have been stalking is just in front of them. Azula lets the lightning dance on her fingertips and gives Mai a nod. Mai confirms it with one of her own. She will send her lightning at the creature, it will fall--dead before it knows that it had been struck--and Mai will get to work harvesting the meat.

Should they have a successful kill, they won’t have to hunt for a good while after this. Azula lets the lightning sail. She hears a heavy thud and Mai steps forward.  It is tedious work to carve an animal, especially one so large but Mai does it with an impressive efficacy.

Still, Azula anticipates being there for at least an hour or two with the size of their kill. And she anticipates finding herself bloodied by the end of it.  For the time she casts her shirt to the side, she doesn’t have many changes of clothes and shouldn’t like to soil even one. Mai has the same idea. She tries not to make a big deal of it; it is only practical after all, easier to wash blood from skin than fabric. All the same, her face colors when Mai tosses a glance over her shoulder and requests her bigger hunting knife.

Azula carries it up to her and observes in forced silence as Mai puts the knife to use. There is something that she should like to discuss with the woman, but she is up to her elbows in blood so Azula decides to put it off a little longer. Every now and then, she asks Azula for a hand in prying the meat from the bone. Her hands come away sticky with blood and she shudders at it and its uncleanliness. Mai rolls her eyes or chuckles each time she makes a disgusted face or crinkles her nose.

At last, Mai steps back from the tigermonkey carcass and begins packaging the meat. Azula dips her hands into the nearby stream and picks up her brushes. When Mai turns back around she is greeted by parchment. ‘Why did you do it, Mai?’

“Why did I do what?”

‘Kiss TyLee.’  She clenches her teeth, she has roused a nervous loling in her belly. She isn’t sure that she wants to hear the answer. Isn’t sure that she should even be bringing it up, not when they are, at the very least, finally cordial with each other again. Though it would simply rest there, festering beneath the surface, if she hadn’t. She doesn’t think that there can be any real reconciling with such a mess beneath the floorboards.

Mai sighs. “Because I was angry. At you, at Zuko, and I do love TyLee.” Her already quiet voice becomes moreso. “And I ended up hurting her too.”

There is one thing that they have in common. They’re both fools. Hopeless, inconsiderate, and quite possibly socially inept fools.  ‘No wonder she left. We’ve all been using her.’

Mai gives a stiff sniff, “yeah.”

‘Are you still angry? At Zuzu and I.’

Mai comes to a stand still. “Yeah.”

Azula swallows, her stomach sinking lower than it already plummeted. “I’m guessing that the two of you are still mad at me too.”

She is right. Azula supposes that it is only fair for her to harbor some resentment of her own. ‘I don’t want to be angry.’ She admits finally. Truly, she doesn’t. It is taking so much out of her and she doesn’t have much energy to exert these days.

Mai’s face seems to soften. “I don’t want to be angry either.”

Perhaps it is time to let by gones be by gones. She wouldn’t have met Seicho if she hadn’t fled. She wants to say that she would never be able to fully heal with TyLee, but she is almost certain that she could have had she been given time--had she given herself time. But that has nothing to do with Mai anyhow.

‘Stop being angry then?’

“That’s not how it works.”

‘I know.’ She replies. Though she doesn’t think that she is angry anymore. She thinks that she is sad. Sad and tired and tired of being sad. She thinks to ask Mai when she thinks that she will stop being angry. Instead she holds up the parchment and asks if she needs help carrying the meat.

Mai’s expression softens though Azula doesn’t know why. “Here take this one.”

Azula makes sure that the blood isn’t seeping through the sack before putting her shirt back on and her portion of their haul over her shoulder.

“Thanks for helping me with the hunt, Azula.” It is still cool and stiff. But it is a start.

[beyond-far-horizons]

Rhythm of War reactions so far (half way through.)

I caved despite mountains of work and I’m half way through Rhythm of War! So many cool things so much I could scream about, so many cosmere links! Bit right now I’m just gonna throw it out there that I think Thaidakar is a dragon like Hoid’s friend. No idea if this is true (and don’t confirm or deny til I’m through the book please.)

Spoiler reactions for RoW so far and rest of Cosmere Book (poss) so far under the cut. If you do respond please don’t spoil me for the rest of the book!

KALADIN!!! My baby! My boy! Someone help him! Someone give him a hug! But he is doing so well and I love his solo quest/Die Hard in the Tower at the moment. I loled officially at Kaladin Stormblessed the Psychiatrist who discovers group therapy! It’s a little on the nose to be honest but I still liked it.

F*ck Moash #noredemption. Although LOL that Kaladin is officially a thorn in Odium’s side (payback time pal!) and yeah I BET you want to turn him. I admit I loved this section. Enemy/hero connections are always so interesting to me and the metastory with the Shards is the most interesting part of any cosmere book to me apart from maybe Kal-centred stuff. I love seeing the hints of how the emotions/properties of the Shard play out in the narrative/characterisation as it’s one of the main themes in my own WIP and magic systems. Odium seems to break the power of Shards by targeting their main Intent (as someone else suggested). I predict Kaladin will stick with Honor and conquer the Hatred in his heart as Dalinar did. Also ‘Son of Tanavast’...I don’t think Kaladin is physically Tanavast’s son but I think spiritually he is, which is why he suffers so. He’s def key to something, protected from harm but for a better reason than he is led to believe. We’ll see. 

Poor Shallan! This book is heavy on the mental illness although I am glad it is being addressed in Epic Fantasy and Sanderson’s integration of it with his magic systems is inspired. I really hope Shallan can get through this, she deserves it. PATTERN WTF??? Please no.

I’m much more of a Shaladin/Shalladin (official ship spelling please?) fan and tbh that put me off reading this book at first because I felt really betrayed about how things were developed in OB. I felt it cheapened the deep connection they made in the chasms in WoR to have it as a ‘passion’ thing from Veil etc. Having said that Adolin and Shadolin really shine in this book so far and Shalladin would be a bad choice for both of them right now. (WoB states he developed the love triangle as an echo of a previous thing - most likely Gavilar/Navani/Dalinar and rereading WoR, OB and the start of RoW underlined that both Navani and Shallan commenting on Kaladin/Dalinar’s intensity.) That said I’m really warming to Adolin. I really hope he resurrects Maya and the scene with him demanding a trial with the Honorspren was great. PheonixWright!Adolin (Objection!) Nale can be the lawyer for the opposition.

WHIMSY. INVENTION. MERCY. VALOUR!!!!!!!! Also Harmony getting on the scene! Go Sazed. My first thought about the sword he mentions was Kaladin who keeps fighting with the protect/kill thing throughout the book and series but he’s not connected (Connected) to Scadrial (yet). Same for Nightblood and Szeth so I’m not sure. Also I feel and hope that Sazed is a lot wiser a Vessel than many of the originals. Who knows as we mostly haven’t seen them esp in their original uninfluenced selves. Also what’s the issue with Mercy? I get a really creepy feeling from that tbh. It’s interesting how a supposedly wholesome Intent could be twisted.

Talking about that...Rayse/Odium...I like that we are getting hints of more human feelings from him but I’m still not convinced by the whole Passion/Hatred thing. His Shard’s name is Odium - Hatred. That is a very specific emotion. From WoB it’s indicated he might be lying to himself but he doesn’t seem that hateful to be honest and neither do a lot of his forces. I mean I was expecting Dark Lord levels of torment. It makes it more interesting, but I’m a little concerned the concept of ‘Passion’ being tainted by this association in a meta way. Unless Odium used to be Passion and it got twisted by Rayse which is possible but the text at present doesn’t really support that...hmm. Looking forward to the showdown between him and Dalinar/Kaladin and Hoid - yesssss!

Also Hoid....WTF is going on with Jasnah??? I mean I could ship it but...yeah what is going on? Also this frustrates me because Brandon is being very coy with Hoid’s knowledge here and I feel this doesn’t work in the narrative and characterisation. I feel we need a scene establishing Jasnah/Dalinar trying to force Wit to say what he knows and him establishing to them (and us) that he can’t be forced. Because right now he’s just blithely being allowed to waltz around wisecracking with cosmere-saving knowledge in his head that could be vital to Jasnah and Dalinar and...they are just letting him? Bit of a stretch. I know they likely can’t force him and need to keep him on side but we need to see that. 

Ghostbloods!!!! I confess I like Mraize far more than I should. Until he hunted Lift and then I wanted Kaladin to kick him off the side of the tower. That was a shame to me - there are so many possibilities to a book (like Atium I guess) and one I was really hoping for after the shock/horror of the attack of Urithiru was realising there were some seriously powerful people there who could combat the Fused - Kaladin, Lift, Mraize and Zahel. I just really want to see Zahel let go and kick some ass properly and tell everyone his secret. Still it makes sense that Mraize would play both sides and I guess it’s more interesting that way but still screw him! (Pun intended because I still like sexy bad guys.)

Navani - the engineering sections can be difficult to get through but I’m so here for her arc and her scholarly battle of wits with the Lady of Wishes. (Again with the complex enemy/protag dynamics). I LOVE that there are so many multifaceted women (and femalen) characters at all levels and esp a STEM older female character. I hope she becomes the new Bondsmith of the Sibling although it’s again a little on the nose considering she is married to the first one.

The Singer stuff is interesting to a certain extent and Leshwi in particular is cool but I admit I’m just not as invested (lol) in them as I am in the rest of it. Fingers crossed for Venli and Rlain to win the day though (also again I love the genderflip of those two and her having to pretend to want him as love-slave which is usually what happens the other way around. Brandon is getting really good at this stuff and I appreciate it.)

I’m sad we missed some key development in the timeskip but I guess for pacing this was important. Some of the casual language still annoys me esp when Brandon’s worldbuilding is so interesting as it just seems lazy and out of place. I know some people like it but it’s my opinion that seeing things like ‘neat’ and ‘teenagers’ brings me straight back to 21st Century America when I had just been in a world of Stormlight and Greatshells. There’s better ways of conveying those ideas than reverting to our slang developed from a specific subset of our world. Anyway....

Overall enjoying it much more than I though. Onward!

[entitys-scribe]

h-hewwo can i get a 2007 myers and a gender neutral reader?? but like... soft and fluffy. thank u

       You’re lying if you say you’ve never just wanted to brush RZ Myers’ hair…          Chilly autumn nights welcomed the occasion of pumpkin scented candles and crackling fires, fluffy blankets and toasty cocos. All things better shared among two people but you were not fortunate enough to have such luxury. Not only had you been working diligently, but even if you weren’t, the one person you dared to think about sharing those pleasantries hadn’t been seen for a week. You weren’t too upset over it, in fact you were used to your phantom guest coming and going as he pleased but, you know, company never hurt anyone. Even if said company was a little more.. Dangerous than normal ones. You take what you get.     You stood from your desk chair, stretching up with a strained noise followed with a satisfying crackling and sigh. Having spent hours working hunched over your desk, you were happy to be finished with said work. At roughly 11 p.m, there was no time better to sink into your plush mattress and drift off into candy-coated dreams.      Slipping into your most comfortable sleepwear before pushing on your slippers and heading to the bathroom to do your nightly ritual. With the sound of the sink running and your gargling of the sharp minty mouthwash, you hadn’t heard the front door open and shut.

     After your nightly ritual was over with, you flicked the lights off, wandering down the stairs to do the same for all rooms. Heading for the living room, you glanced at the classic horror movie playing on the screen before turning it off along with the lamp beside the couch. Turning to head to the kitchen, you almost looked over the muddy footprints on your shiny tile floor that led to the sink. No way..      Creeping over to the sink as if whatever was inside would lunge at you, you were greeted with the familiar red-stained blade laid haphazardly across the plates already inside. Your heart jumped at the sight, a choked noise escaping. Following the trail of muddied prints with your eyes, you felt your expression sink as the dirtied prints stepped onto your carpet.. And onto the stairs. “No.”      Jumping from your previous frozen state, you ran past the kitchen and up the stairs, following the splatters of thick mud on your once clean carpet. “No, no, no.” You repeated, seeing the steps lead to your bedroom. Where your clean, not at all dirty bed was. 

     “No!” You burst into the room exaggeratedly, your arms held out in ‘Stop!’ fashion before slapping them onto your mouth, realizing yelling at this guest wasn’t a good idea. Michael’s head snapped to your direction, freezing in a hunched position over the bed, his dirtied hands gripping tighter onto the sheets. His usual navy suit was splattered and filthy, his boots thrown carelessly to the side of the room. His mask remained donned but you could see flecks of matted blonde hair peeking beneath and- is that a twig in his hair? He was really about to go to sleep like this.      Though you couldn’t see beneath the abyss of the mask’s eyes, you could feel the sharp glare that was staring directly at you. Shivering, you rubbed at your goosebumps anxiously and suddenly the wall was very interesting, “Sorry, sorry. I’m sorry, I just- You’re really, uhm..” Flicking your doe eyes back on him, “You’re filthy.” Coughing out slightly as if saying anything slightly negative about the man had physically ailed you. 

     Michael blew out a hearty huff behind the mask; obviously not wanting any part in this lecture; and continued to pull the covers of the bed up, leaning over to get in.      “Michael, please!” You jumped close to him in panic, placing your hand on his forearm in an effort to stop your pretty sheets from being stained with whatever this stray animal of a man decided to play in that night.      His head once again snapped toward you, and now that you were up closer, you could see his icy glare this time directed at your hand. You could feel the muscles tense beneath his sleeve, and with it, your impending doom.      Yanking your hand back to your chest, holding it almost protectively, “Okay! Okay, I’m sorry.” His glare remained, a slight tug to sheets in an almost ‘Can I sleep now?’ way. Your passive nature always came out on reflex around him, whether it was out of fear or his sheer dominant nature, but you wanted to stand your ground on this. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? He shouldn’t mind that much, right?      “No, Michael, you- I can’t let you get into /my/ bed like /that/.” You stepped back in precaution. His grip tightened on the sheets, you noticed.

      “I’m sure you’re very tired from your.. Adventure.. so I won’t force you to take a shower tonight.” ‘Force’ was never the right word to use around the ragged blonde, if anyone would be forced to do anything, it would be you. 

     “But at least change out of that mess? Please?” Not daring to meet his gaze, you could still feel it piercing through you. Of course, Michael will always just do what he wants and if he wants to go to sleep covered in his filth then he was going to like the feral beast he was.

     Fidgeting slightly at the uncomfortable amount of empty response time, you didn’t have high hopes for your once pristine sheets to remain that way. You assumed that he was giving you a ‘You can’t be serious.’ look but refused to look up at him to confirm that or not.

     Suddenly, Michael dropped the sheets and stood to his full height, a fun reminder how much taller he was than you. Instinctively, you stepped back a little from him once again, the chill down your back evaporating once you saw his scarred hand reach for the zipper of his coveralls.      “Oh! Thank you so much! Let me get you something to change into.” You beamed at the rare cooperation before scurrying off to the closet. He must be in a good mood and, boy, were you going to milk that. 

     Quickly, you rummaged through the closet to find the oversized clothing you had specifically just for this circumstance. Just in time for Michael to step fully out of his coveralls, you turned and handed him the plush sweatpants and sweater with a dopey smile, red dust clouding your cheeks as you tried not to look at his athletic build in this state. Standing in just boxers and a black tee that clinged to his body, you kept your eyes up at his f- mask. The mask was still on, not that you should expect any different.     Reaching out, his large, calloused hands enveloped yours for a moment as he pulled the clothes to him, his attention now turning to it as he ran his fingers across the soft texture.

     “You get changed and comfy. I’ll take your clothes and put them in the wash, okay?” You asked, not that you expected a response, crouching over to pick up his caked coveralls in a pinch, holding it as far above the ground and away from you as you could and meandered downstairs.

     Heart feeling light and fuzzy as you stepped back upstairs, you hear the heavy creak of the bed shifting underneath Michael’s weight. With a smile still draped over your lips, you step back in the bedroom to be greeted with a very comfy looking Michael, sitting up in bed with the blanket over his lap where his hands met. Your smile grew wider at the sight, faltering slightly seeing the beaten up mask still sitting on his shoulders.      Glancing over at your dresser, you devised a plan.      “I really appreciate you listening to me, Michael.” You started, pink dusting your cheeks again as you felt his stare on you once again. “But could you do one more thing for me?” You bit the inside of your cheek. This was a dangerous game, you already got him to comply once, to ask him to do it again was a fat chance but yet you continued, grabbing the hairbrush from the dresser. 

     “If you could take off your mask, I could brush your hair out.” Smiling sheepishly at the man, cueing a signature loling of his head. Stepping over to the other side of the bed, you waited for a sign that you weren’t welcome only not to receive one.     “It’ll feel relaxing. I’ll be gentle, I promise.” Taking your seat next to him, you again were reminded of the height difference. Now that you were closer, the bedside lamp illuminating the space, you could once again see his eyes upon you. It wasn’t a glare or squint this time. He looked tired.

      After a moment or so, Michael shifted and slowly reached up to the edges of the practically ruined mask. Your heart thumped loudly in your ears, you hadn’t seen his face in a very long time and to see it now in such a soft light left your mouth dry with anticipation. Peeling off the silicon mask, his matted strands of honey coated hair falling free to his shoulders, draping over his face. You could make out his sharp jawline, a thick stubble coating over it. 

      Running his thumb over the mask before setting it onto the bedside stand and looking over at you, your heart stopped for a moment. His silvery blue eyes bore into you, small scars littering his cheeks, most definitely from debris. A scar leading across the bridge of his nose and deathly close to his right eye. 

      Yes, you’ve seen his face before on a very, /very/ rare occasion and knew what he looked like but to see it again such close proximity was a whole different experience. Pink once again danced on your cheeks as you were sure you were staring for too long, glancing away from him and clearing your throat. “Alright so just..” You started, patting your lap, “Lay your head here and get comfy.”       After a moment, as usual, he shifted onto his back, his feet dangling over the side of the bed, laying his head on your lap, not before you lift his hair up and away.      His eyes once again stared through you as you picked out little things from his hair, and, yes, that was a twig. Parting it in half, you starting to brush out the knots starting from the bottom. “Let me know if it I tug too hard at any moment.” You offered a small smile down at him, earning a very slight nod.      You both stayed like that for a long time, his hair was much more matted than you had expected and as you finished up on one part, you glanced at his face to see he had closed his eyes.

     Had he fallen asleep? Either way, to have him willingly close his eyes and be this vulnerable to you almost made you tear up. Fighting back the bubbling giggles as to not wake him up as you put your focus on the second part, repeating the process you had for the last one happily.

[oncerpotter2018]

DAY 4 - YOU BEFORE ME // Collapsed Building

The search for mutants wasn't over despite having more than enough student fill the halls of the school. Charles had insisted that Erik help him find more just to be on the safe sides of the large amount of mutants still out there who needs a home.

"I don't know Charles, I don't think there's enough room left in the dorms for more students" Erik mocked as he grinned his usual shark smile at his Charles. Charles laughed knowing that Erik was always the mocking type.

"Very funny Erik but seriously, the more mutants we help, the better chances of them getting a better chance at life" Charles said taking Erik's hand and kissing it softly. Charles looked up from where he sat and Erik walked beside him. Erik had known Charles since the day they met and despite their differences their end goal in life has somewhat have been always the same. To find love with each other no matter what happens. They found every reason to be alone, to be able to find a way places to hide, to make out and kiss when they wanted to. Aftet only a few mouths of this secret activity that they were so desperate to hide, they whole school soon found out. It wasn't long before they were caught kissing in one of this class rooms but Charles ignored the staring, the gasps of his students as they came in for their first lesson. Those are always the best days, days when they would rather get caught then be further apart.

They held each other's hand as they reached the school's underpath where Cerebro was hidden from praying eyes. Charles placed the looked up at Erik once more as their eyes met, Charles smiled the same way he did when he first kissed Erik.

"You know I love you right?" said Charles trying his hardest to convince Erik to kiss him once more, his blue eyes glistening in the bright light that illuminates the metal room. Charles Xavier being the man he was pulled at Erik's sleave, pulling his boyfriend down for another kiss.

"What was that for?" asked Erik, mocking angeted tone.

"You were too slow to respond" said Charles grinning as he licked his lips. Erik loved it when his Charles did, the way his lips were as red as the cherries growing in the backyard. Erik knelt down, his eyes level with Charles' as he kissed his nose.

"I love you" he whispers as stood up and carried on walking. Charles smiled back as he raced to be beside his Erik. As they arrived nearer to Cerebro, Charles with careful hands placed the helmat on his head and waited for the responses to arrive. The wait wasn't long as the lights died red and the different figures standing in their red outlines of young mutants moved around them, doing the same times, being themselves and Charles just beamed a little smile that warmed Erik's hear every time he does that. Erik loved seeing the smile on Charles' face as he found the mutants he was looking for. He laughed along side Charles when he laughed, grinned when Charles did the same. He just knew whatever Charles was thinking, he was lucky to guess it was about him.

"Found any one that takes your fancy?" asked Erik staring at the small and large figures that floated around them. Charles shook his head.

"Nothing so far" he replied, after a few minutes in focus and concentration Charles screamed with glee; the scream gave Erik quite the scare.

"What is it?" asked Erik taking his stance beside his lover, his eyes daring around to see what dangers that laid before them but in a few moments a tugging feeling was felt at his sleeve of his leather jacket.

Charles kept tugging until Erik noticed him.

"Erik, I found some... Oh its wonderful news, that would mean we will have new students for next term" said Charles, his face beaming with pure happiness after find more mutants to join the school. Erik had always admired Charles for his passion and love for mutants.

"I'm glad to hear that, now you can tell me about that after you come back to our room and take a well deserved break" Erik said taking Charles' hand and kissing it. Charles laughed at the kiss. Charles nodded his head and immediately took off the helmet that weighed down on his head.

"You know, I always wondered why I'm so lucky to have you, and then I realised that you were a blessing" Charles said taking his hand and kissed it once more. The words that came from Charles' mouth was a something that Erik needed to hear and without any other second thoughts, Erik wrapped his arms around Charles and stayed there for what felt like a lifetime. They stayed that way until the sound of creaking echoed the walls and the ceiling above them.

"What was that?" asked Erik, leaning back his eyes and ears picking up the sound that the room made.

"I don't know?" relied Charles with the same curiosity as Erik. He wheeled himself back to Cerebro before a sudden blaring noise screeched around them. The emergency sirens howled around them notifying the two mutants down below. Charles could feel the panic voices from the student and staff, the school shook violently as pieces of plaster, plastic and metal gave way to another shake.

Erik and Charles braced themselves for the impact as Erik help steady Charles. Charles held tightly onto Erik for dear life before the shaking got worst. Soon, Charles hears a panic scream coming from upstairs, shouts and desperation to flee as the sirans continued.

"Oh gosh... RAVEN!" screamed Charles, his mind hurting from the pain of his own sister's panic. Charles cried, his voice hitching up. Erik tried to calm him down only for debris to fall down onto them.

"It's okay, it's okay" reassured Erik as he squeezed Charles tighter. But the terrified screams still ran around his mind. The shaking continues forward as the building fell to pieces. Soon the doors of Cerebro opened and there as tried as they were was Raven and Hank. Breathless and slightly bruised from fallen debris, they came out unharmed. Hank gestured forward and laid his hands on Charles' wheelchair.

"What is happening?" asked Charles concerned, his eyes darting back and forth. Erik held Charles' hand tightly hoping this would soon be over.

"There's no time to explain, we need to get out of here now!" screamed Hank as more debris from the ceiling fell from above. Charles loled at Erik.

"Come on, we can still make it" he said as he watched Erik look up. The concentrated look menacing something was wrong.

"Hank, take Charles with you. Protect the children and teachers first. Find the others. Leave now!" he ordered and with that Hank took Charles with him but Charles didn't want I leave Erik behind.

"Erik, what's going on?" he said stopping Hank in his tracks.

"There's no time.. Leave..."

"No! You have to tell me!" shouted Charles. Erik sighed.

"This building is about to collapse. The violent shaking has loosen the support beams and the whole frame is weaken. I can hold it enough for you and the children to get out of here... So do as I say and leave" said Erik as his predictions were right as a large debris of plaster and mental broke from the ceiling. Erik held the metal but the plaster was a direct hit, fortunately it missed him by inches.

Raven, still standing my the doors expressed her concern.

"come on, let's get out of here" she said, waving at Hank to get Charles. Charles had no choice and did as Erik said. Hank ran back to Raven with Charles by their side and the last thing Charles saw was a large piece of metal adn plaster fall where Erik stood as the the place began to fall. Charles tells himself that everything was okay, that Erik was fine as they searched for more children and teachers. By the time they gotten out onto the field, the gasp and the exhausted students and adults watched as the last piece of the school fell to the ground. Broken glass and brick was all was left of their home, their school.

"What happened?" asked an older student, her body still shaking, her arms were occupied with a smaller boy.

"We don't know. But we'll get to. The bottom of this" said Hank trying to calm everyone down. Charles looked on, his eyes darting everywhere. His heart beating twice as fast he frantically looked for when Erik was going to come out, when his had hoped for him to be alive. His heart dropped however when a student who's mutation allows him to examine objects through terminal engery sees something or a someone.

"There's someone still in there" said the boy pointing to the rubble.

"Where Leslie?" replied Hank looking at the direction of where the boy was pointing. Leslie showed Hank where the body was and with the information Hank became Beast and rummaged through the rumble, pulling out piece of debris before choking back a cry. Leslie tried to look but Raven who came along pulled him back noticing the body too.

Charles Xavier knew what happened that day. A mutant who had betrayed their kind sent a high level shock way through the ground. It could have killed someone but in the horrific truth, it did. Charles had to bury Erik that day. He had to watch as the whole school was rebuilt, by the entrance, a small memorial stood guard new and old students, those who witnessed the tragedy that day, sets a reminder to those all of what Erik did that day. His warning saved them all. He saved their lives. If only others could see that way. Charles wheeled himseld down to the newly built Cerebro. He looked up, the walls exactly the same before let out a loud cry, his screams bouncing off the walls.

"You saved us. You knew it didn't you? You knew you weren't going to make it and I love you for that. If you are listening then I just want you to know that I'm grateful and proud. Proud that you did waht you did. You put others before yourself. You made a sacrifice... Oh Erik I miss you" cried Charles, placing Erik's leather jacket around his shoulders keeping him away from the cold. It was the only thing that Erik left behind apart from his love that never truely died with him.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: the lure of coffee machine burns and demanding customers proved too strong? Jimmy: Your gratitude at getting another smoothie an' all Janis: you found out I was a big tipper? Janis: grapevine getting oddly specific and vaguely complimentary Jimmy: Your boyfriend never said nowt, awkward and 💔 Janis: which one Janis: have to put him on the 'really, never again' list Jimmy: the one who works here but ain't me Jimmy: Pete Janis: so that's his name Janis: cute Janis: well he can't go on that list so I take it back Jimmy: Or I'm lying Jimmy: but I reckon I'd give him a better name if I were Janis: exactly Janis: one every lad has like Jimmy: what every lad don't have is a 🎸 and a band attached Jimmy: he's WELL unique 💕 Janis: OMG Janis: makes so much sense why you're 💘 Jimmy: I ain't 😳 it's the steam, alright Janis: 😂 Janis: If I was a nicer friend I'd be made up for yous Janis: obviously I've learnt from the best and I'll covertly hit that behind your back, sabotaging you every step of the way Jimmy: We mates now? 🎉🎊🕺 Janis: the best 💕 Janis: thought 💔 you ain't 💔 about the friendzoning, obvs Jimmy: I'm made up for us Janis: 😏 good Jimmy: you'll be well about having a gay BFF Janis: ikr Janis: as if they didn't have enough reasons to be jealous of me Janis: ultimate accessory Jimmy: I am gonna ask him to move in though so if you could piss off before the end of our shift Jimmy: Tah, babes Janis: how could you Janis: genuinely did not see this coming Jimmy: when you know you know, girl 💕 Jimmy: soz you didn't Janis: I know lots of things Janis: like his name and passion so tah, dickhead 🏆💘 Jimmy: @petechambers is what you need to know Janis: why you being so helpful Jimmy: he reckons you're my girlfriend, how far do you reckon you're gonna get Janis: reckons you're my boyfriend, by that logic Janis: looks like we're both fucked Jimmy: I don't fuck in the workplace, I told you Jimmy: only customers 👴👵💕 Janis: fucking hell don't say that Janis: not just their spidey senses tingling, eurgh Jimmy: 💀👑 and her #squad ain't here yet Jimmy: can say what I like Janis: 'course not, it's before noon Janis: and as long as your manager don't hear you, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 he won't hear me 😴 in the back either Janis: you must be dead Janis: all the freebie espresso shots today Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: should've let you call in for me Janis: dangerously close to admitting I had a good idea Jimmy: only the one Janis: one more than you had you poor 😴 fool Jimmy: You sleep alright? The 🐕 was being a right little twat when I had to go Janis: like I'd been drugged Janis: not accusing you Janis: just don't usually sleep that deep Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the barman was a bit Jimmy: could accuse him Janis: who am I to turn my nose up at free drugs Jimmy: 👮🚔 undercover me, remember Jimmy: might wanna hit delete on that Janis: listen, you've definitely crossed some boundaries yourself, idc how deep your cover is Janis: you keep it 🤐 and so will I Jimmy: Oh it's really deep like my 💕 baby Janis: 😂 Janis: yep, you're definitely 45 Jimmy: were warned Janis: didn't say I didn't like it 😍 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: #whenshelikestherealyou Janis: just can't help but be goals, me and you Jimmy: tough job but I've already got a piss easy one Jimmy: I'd be bored to 😭😭😭 or 💀💀💀 Janis: so welcome, babe 💕 Janis: shame you can't be bored to 💤💤💤 rn though Jimmy: earnt myself a burn for cheeking everyone's manager 🙏 @god soz, like Janis: 🌩 Janis: he'll get ya Jimmy: bit late for the warning, Jenna but tah Janis: got off pretty light Janis: it could've been genocide, he's a big fan Jimmy: tell it to all the fans who want pics of me touching you up Jimmy: ain't gonna be goals for a bit, that Janis: bad enough you can 🏥 Jimmy: still got skin ✔ Jimmy: makes it a no go Janis: 😔 baby Jimmy: will to live ✖ Jimmy: least I've got you 💕 Janis: you poor, poor boy Janis: and your fave customers ain't there either, what's the rest of the crowd looking like? Jimmy: 👪 and 👫 Jimmy: be why I'm in such a romantic mood Janis: so inspiring, yeah Jimmy: nowt as inspiring as you obvs Janis: how many paracetamol did you pop Janis: very peace and love rn, you Jimmy: might be talking in my 💤 Janis: in that case Janis: let me hold you to everything you say Janis: go on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: did you/any of yous get a chance to walk this dog Janis: it's being batshit Jimmy: I let it out but unless Cass is up and about now Janis: If she is she's being as quiet as I am Janis: no worries, I'll take it for a run Jimmy: hang on, I'll text her Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Alright, boot the door in for us Janis: you what Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: 👮🚔 tactics, mate Janis: not gonna marry your da, remember Janis: no stepmum here Jimmy: well he chucks her 💰 for walking that 🐕 you're gonna at least wanna take that off her Janis: I guess I could let the dog in her room Janis: just blame you or the kid Jimmy: I did it earlier, dunno how it got back out Janis: clever girl Jimmy: 👻🐕 Janis: awh Janis: if I could draw for shit I would Jimmy: Have a go Jimmy: there's loads of shit in my room Janis: feeling #inspirational as well as #inspired, mate? Jimmy: you feeling 🥇 or 🙀? Janis: how do you know I ain't got plans Jimmy: Come on, I'll do it too, let 👻🐕 decide which is better Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: Crack on then, loser Janis: fuck off Janis: I never claimed I was good at art, 🎨 hoe Jimmy: Getting the excuses in already Jimmy: should've just backed out from the challenge, babe Janis: you should get to work Janis: doodling or your actual, like Jimmy: I'm doing both Janis: get you Jimmy: 🏆🥇👑 Janis: ⭐⭐⭐ for your name badge Jimmy: It says Jamie right now so you're alright Janis: 😂 Janis: doesn't suit you Jimmy: only been working here ages Jimmy: don't put yourselves out Janis: your names not actually James then? Janis: least they're in the ballpark Jimmy: Bollocks would it be, Ian'd reckon that too la-de-da Janis: fair, can't imagine that either Jimmy: and anyway we're all y or ie except him 'cause ❄ can't get ideas above ourselves Janis: don't stop every cunt I know giving their kids genuinely mental names though so Jimmy: I've wrote some mad ones on ☕ Janis: ooh #whenhescreativetho Jimmy: his new missus better fall in like my mum did Jimmy: fucked yourself you Janis: I mean, I'd change it but what to Ian, you've got the vision, like Jimmy: @ him Janis: from his house, that'd be hilariously psycho stalker Jimmy: he'd be 😍😍 so don't actually Janis: alright, in your bed not his Jimmy: Are you? Jimmy: Get up dickhead there's 🎨 to make Janis: 🙄 alright, on it Janis: ruin the fantasy with your details, why don't you Jimmy: ruin your lie in with my jealousy of it, tah Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: are you concentrating that hard? Jimmy: you need to if you wanna beat me Jimmy: doing you that favour Janis: so kind 🖕 Janis: so considerate 😒 Jimmy: I know 💕 Janis: [hit him with a cartoon of ghost Twix doing a phantom shit in Ian's shoes] Jimmy: [one of those recorded texts things of him loling] Janis: is that a lol of approval? Jimmy: 'course Janis: good, 'cos I tried Jimmy: yours is better than mine Jimmy: glad I ain't the judge Janis: rub it in pedigree, like Janis: she likes you better, maybe a walk would swing it Jimmy: she don't like that I only let her out in the garden for a bit Jimmy: so if you're gonna cheat Jimmy: would be 🥇 cheating Janis: from the professional himself 💕 Janis: leave a note, so your sister don't reckon it's been dognapped Jimmy: 🖕 and 👌 Janis: love you too Jimmy: [sends her his picture of ghost him walking ghost twix and Janis in a ghostbusters outfit getting him with the vacuum thing cos Twix is her true love but someone's spilt coffee on it rudely] Janis: fuck off Janis: that's actually sick Janis: can't even be that mad Jimmy: you ain't judging it either and ☕ ain't a treat she's 😍 for Janis: take the compliment, boy Jimmy: I'm too tired Janis: doesn't anyone at your work have a decent coke habit Janis: inconsiderate, that Jimmy: what kind of rock and roll god are you, Pete? fuck's sake Jimmy: 😱💔 Janis: if he's straight-edge Janis: have him Janis: won't be lectured by some 🤓 however cute Jimmy: from his feed I'd say 60/40 that he is Jimmy: gutted pisshead Janis: actually devastated Janis: please give me time to grieve Jimmy: me an' all, gonna have to rely on you and only you to get me through this shift Janis: I haven't got any on me either, you know Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: he does 🚬 though actually, I've seen him Janis: 😻😻😻 Janis: oh thank god Janis: not ready to let that dream die tbh Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: you don't understand Jimmy: Have you even looked at his profile? 60/40 that bird's his girlfriend an' all Janis: idk what that's gotta do with me Jimmy: she's got better tits than you Jimmy: I don't reckon you'd win if you challenged her Janis: well I know I would but tah Jimmy: You ain't his type Janis: omg you don't know that Jimmy: try some heavy eye make up and a band t-shirt Jimmy: might 👀 at you then Janis: can't argue with good looking Janis: whatever you think you're into Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's with the negging Jimmy: What you want me to big you up? Got that covered ain't you Janis: nah Janis: but shouldn't affect you that I know my worth, should it Jimmy: it don't Jimmy: nowt you do affects me Janis: then stop chatting shit like that to me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: no or what about it I won't fucking talk to you Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I ain't got time for you, my best customers are here Janis: lol really Jimmy: [a pic of them gals, chin chin] Janis: 🤢 Janis: if I never saw that face again, it'd be too soon Jimmy: [resends it with faces scribbled out] Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Janis: time for a stock check, probs Jimmy: time to post something about you more like Jimmy: [does about how much he misses her and how hard it was to leave her there asleep this AM etc] Janis: you trying to kill 'em? Janis: 'cos good job, honestly Janis: they'll at least have heart palpatations at that Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: could do better but this ain't a topless kinda place Janis: we're all 💔 about that Janis: should've taken some creeper shots whilst you were sleeping, my bad Jimmy: such an amateur you Janis: had other things on my mind, happens Janis: my reply will be extra slushy, how's that Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: obvs but yay or nay dickhead Jimmy: where are you? Janis: park opposite yours Janis: why Jimmy: do you look like you belong in a park opposite mine? Janis: fuck you, I'm clean Jimmy: I'm saying make yourself look like you just got out of my bed and get over here Janis: alright then Janis: but that counts as one of my debts paid, definitely Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: er yeah it does Jimmy: How is this a favour to me? Jimmy: They're chatting shit about you Janis: when ain't they Janis: I don't ever need to be in the same room as my sister, tah Jimmy: Stay at the park then Janis: make up your mind Janis: I said I'll do it Jimmy: Not doing this for my health Jimmy: they ain't wrong in thinking I look like shit and if you were any kind of nurse you wouldn't have let me go nowhere Janis: marry 'em then Jimmy: I don't wanna marry you why would I wanna marry them? Jimmy: Also how? In what sequence 'cause can only be one at a time Janis: 'cos clearly you trust in their ability to look after you based on this snippet of overheard convo, idiot Janis: none of them have had a boyfriend longer than 3 weeks, no time to get a fucking cold, nevermind get over it Janis: don't count, they're a hivemind Janis: cut off Mia's head, they all die Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how can they possibly have anything to talk about Janis: not seen any of them in days Jimmy: You've been online, nowt else they need Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: I'll throw a drink over Mia she'll melt, game over Jimmy: if she ever orders owt Janis: some sweet as Janis: that hot sweet vom will coat her mouth on the way out, enjoy that for hours Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: you'll make me vom Janis: such a baby Jimmy: Piss off Janis: you ain't cleaned up worse in the CG bathroom, no Jimmy: don't mean I loved every minute of it Jimmy: or that I wanna relive it right now with you Janis: k, just tryna kill the mood, baby Janis: calm you down Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: lighten up, me they're chatting shit about Jimmy: and it weren't me who invited her here Jimmy: stop being a knobhead Janis: I'm not Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: shut up Janis: what's actually wrong with you Jimmy: I don't wanna talk to you if you're gonna take the piss Jimmy: nowt wrong with that Janis: when did I Jimmy: This job is crap and I don't wanna do it but I ain't got rich parents Jimmy: so yeah, I have to clean up after dickheads all day Jimmy: and they get to say whatever they want to me while I'm doing it Janis: it's you who's assumed my parents are minted, you ain't once asked me about 'em and I ain't told you Janis: how far do you reckon 2 paychecks goes for 12 people, but nah, whatever, they got more than some Janis: but not so much that I'll never have to work a day in my life so don't come for me like I think I'm too good to clean a toilet or some shit Jimmy: Don't get at me when it's them you wanna Jimmy: we're supposed to be in this together Janis: I weren't getting at you Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Alright Janis: it clearly ain't but I weren't so I'm not apologizing for some shit you only think I said Jimmy: and I'm not starting something with you 'cause they're annoying Jimmy: So alright Janis: Fine Janis: that we can agree on so we'll just leave it yeah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: the 🐕 with you? Janis: yeah Janis: taking her back Jimmy: do me a favour and leave her there Janis: weren't planning on bringing her if I do come through Jimmy: I mean at the park to get actually dognapped Janis: well don't take it on on the dog either Jimmy: I didn't like her long before 💀👑 were on my radar Janis: ain't her fault Jimmy: is Janis: she's only a puppy Jimmy: cute enough to get snatched then Janis: i'm not getting rid of your dog for you Janis: do it properly if you're going to Jimmy: just trying to get rid of that IOU for you Janis: sure Jimmy: You're really scared to owe me one, you Janis: scared and not wanting to are not the same thing Jimmy: that'll be why I said what I said Janis: 😒 Janis: fuck off, what's there to be scared of Jimmy: You tell me Jimmy: What do you reckon I'm gonna do? Janis: shut up Jimmy: Easy, I'm faking I lost my voice either 'cause I'm 🤢 dying or 💀💀💀 from how well you nursed me Jimmy: theirs to keep guessing about Janis: ours to prove easy enough Janis: if we wanna Jimmy: Do you? Janis: I mean Janis: obviously I don't care but also Janis: why should they just get to go around being cunts all the time Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: I also get that you badly miss Mr Lucas, babe but I ain't drank enough coffee for you to pretend I'm him 💔 Janis: 🤢 okay but don't Jimmy: I could take a few more shots before you get here but I might Jimmy: don't actually like it Janis: it's rank Janis: fuck the rest, being around the smell all day would be shit enough Jimmy: hang on, I'm gonna wipe off the chalk board outside and write that Janis: 😂 Jimmy: so inspiring baby 💕 Janis: if we could thin the crowd at all be ideal Janis: don't need the 👪👫s seeing this Jimmy: some of them did leg it pretty quick when Mia walked in Jimmy: not gonna want your kids or your fella seeing that Janis: honestly, meant to learn about death through a hamster, not your local 💀👑 Jimmy: well early in the day to try and teach them to spell anorexia Janis: thank god for spellcheck, eh babe? Jimmy: didn't have it when I communicated with her via napkin note but I think I managed Jimmy: will do if I don't think about what she'll do with it after Janis: basically sold your soul to the devil Janis: couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there Jimmy: already 👻 nowt she can do to me Jimmy: only come to life for you Janis: can't decide if 💕 or 🤤 that Jimmy: why not both? Janis: 😍 #whenhesthefullpackage Jimmy: give me everything you've got then Janis: you've changed your tune Jimmy: I've not Jimmy: been saying 🥇 or nowt since the start Janis: last night Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Janis: both had a few by then, not to mention knackered Jimmy: Go on Janis: well you said don't give you anything Jimmy: it ain't for me, it's for them Janis: yeah, I know Jimmy: So no need to hold back Janis: wouldn't be much point coming otherwise Jimmy: I've gotta be fake mute, you've gotta be fake loud Janis: really Jimmy: We can't both be 🔇 Janis: Jesus Janis: why are you being mute again anyway Jimmy: I lost my voice 'cause you're the best at bringing someone back from the brink of 💀💀💀 Janis: 'course I am Janis: well don't put me off, I have a plan Jimmy: I just had to let you know loudly and repeatedly even if it cost me this #goals accent Janis: sounds about right 😏 Jimmy: Obviously, I thought of it Janis: I mean, it's believeable for you but alright Jimmy: A boy can dream 💕 Janis: dream no longer Janis: [post up hoe] Jimmy: [get ready lads and I don't just mean you gals] Janis: [least she'd always have her gym shit on her so can still have that moment] Jimmy: [yeah that's forever legit, and thank god he looks good in his uniform too or that'd be awkward like she's bringing it and he's blah] Janis: [when you're gonna have to just go for this lads] Jimmy: [he's gonna get a bollocking from his manager regardless we all know it, him most of all so nothing to lose] Janis: [when you come at him like 'I just missed you so much' loud/close enough that it's heard but you're already wrapping yourself around him] Jimmy: [when you have to be fake mute so it's all 😍 but it does mean you can just pull her even closer to you how he likes to do and go IN on kissing any part of her that'll get the best reaction, from her and the audience] Janis: [letting that happen for way longer than you need to before redirecting his mouth to yours so you can be loud without it being really indecent] Jimmy: [I feel like as much as they think they can read each other from all the make out seshs they've had he should've done something in that bit then that surprised him with how much she liked it even if they are pretending it's fake and he told her to be extra] Janis: [agreed like as much as it's all real it would be like the shock when they first kissed and she weren't bored so 100%] Jimmy: [just gonna put her on the counter for that mood and moment soz customers but like we're putting on a show here, not getting in trouble without making it worth it] Janis: [when you say his name and it's half 'cos you wanna half like are you sure] Jimmy: [when as much as you're pretending you've forgotten where you are you also have because so much pent up everything] Janis: ['come home with me' do you mean it or no we'll never know] Jimmy: [I like to imagine Mia's head exploding so get her down but onto the staff side with you so you can keep this going as you make your way towards the back like you're gonna continue this there/leave that way] Janis: [heheheheh] Jimmy: [obvs gonna keep kissing out there for a sec 'for realism' and in case anyone follows you like um what the fuck Jimmy are you leaving or wut not cos you wanna and you couldn't be closer and you haven't stopped since you started even when you were also moving, oh no never for that reason] Janis: [literal like in no world did they need this entire display also how you gonna stop, least his manager can come through to make that happen] Jimmy: [just like ahem #awkward because you know they wouldn't have stopped when he first appeared cos too into it so it's like EXCUSE YOU] Janis: [how shaming if either of you could care] Jimmy: [HOORAY for not feeling shame because yeah Jimothy you're gonna have to sit with him now and get told off looking that poor manager in the eye] Janis: [honestly you'd wanna die if you weren't so highkey distracted] Jimmy: [wait until Ian hears about this, he'll want you to die too] Janis: [nooooooooo] Jimmy: [no wonder he don't like Janis, no offense babe we know his actual reasons ain't that but] Janis: [she does get him fired we all know] Jimmy: [thank god he gets another job cos can you imagine if he couldn't they were all like no thanks you saucy bastard] Janis: [whoops, have to leave forreal] Jimmy: [how the hell are we gonna kick off a 'normal' convo between them after that MY GOD] Janis: how much trouble you in Jimmy: Not enough that I care Janis: good, not looking to + my IOUs that hard Janis: worked though, yeah Jimmy: How many stories has Mia posted? Janis: [screenshot of the longest line of stories ever but she's only on the first one 'cos not watching] Janis: more detailed than 24 hour news Jimmy: I get that I ain't the focus on her obsession, but get my angles, fuck's sake Janis: 💔 Janis: be more blatant, girl Jimmy: This plays like the Love Actually wedding video Janis: 😂 Janis: Keira should've told her husband to sort his friend, honestly Jimmy: I'm waiting for my full crop and her floating bobble head where mine were Janis: literally gonna haunt my nightmares, thanks Jimmy: Soz, I ain't seen her commit that edit yet if that helps Jimmy: we all know you can afford the software girl, sort it out Janis: no time if she wants to break the story Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it wouldn't take long if she knew what she was doing Jimmy: could've asked me Janis: we all know now she's not arsed about you Janis: sorry, dear Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: brb jumping off the roof Janis: could you wait a bit Janis: so it doesn't look like an immediate reaction to me Jimmy: gimme something better to do then Janis: well, I was sure you'd be sent home Janis: dunno how you managed that, jammy git Jimmy: #effortless Janis: must be Jimmy: 😎 Janis: sure you've got loads of invites in your DMs then, boy Jimmy: Yeah but Janis: but what Jimmy: I don't fancy it, do I Janis: still up to me and me alone then, is it Jimmy: for a bit Janis: okay Janis: see what I can do Jimmy: a full day's work won't 💀💀💀 you, rich girl Jimmy: promise Janis: my sister might beat you to it anyway Jimmy: she can try 🏆💪 we've got a pact and I called it ages ago Janis: can argue that one with her, if you like Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: have lost my voice going for it with Ian, not fazed by hers Janis: it's pretty grating tbh but you know Janis: nothing worse than the way she types Jimmy: Oi, there's nowt as annoying or loud as me Janis: don't need to lie to make you feel good about yourself Jimmy: Good Jimmy: a lie wouldn't Janis: and you're a cocky little shit without my help so Jimmy: with your help an' all though Janis: works for me Jimmy: I know Janis: what does that even mean 😏 Jimmy: What do you reckon it means? Jimmy: It means I know Janis: that definitely means you're chatting shit then Jimmy: If saying that I am works for you, babe Janis: 😑 taking the piss now Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: do what you've gotta do Janis: so fucking cryptic Jimmy: 🧩 me Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: OMG, smoking is NOT a personality trait Jimmy: I'm keeping you updated Jimmy: like a good boyfriend Jimmy: my whereabouts, what I'm up to etc Janis: subtle hint Janis: Mia teach you before she went? Jimmy: I weren't in the room as she 👀 it, remember Janis: on another 🪐 Jimmy: where you and her 😍💕💋💋 Janis: not funny, you Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: You gonna give me your update like a good girlfriend then or what? Janis: actually going gym Janis: as I've got the gear on, makes sense Jimmy: 💪🏆 gotta keep it goals babe Jimmy: one day I'll have to show you how it's really done, like Janis: 😂 Janis: ok, that was funny Janis: you've redeemed yourself, welldone Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you're scared I'll make you look a right tit Janis: mhmm Janis: scared I'll be overcome by how manly you are and all Jimmy: no need to be at the gym for that, mate Janis: just how you live your life Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you dope Jimmy: taking that as a compliment 😎 Jimmy: as only a 45 year old bloke can Janis: oh yeah, how's your 💘 after that Jimmy: I ain't about to have a heart attack, you're alright Jimmy: one lung but there ain't nowt wrong with the rest of my organs Janis: good to know Janis: though my case to sue you is definitely more viable anyway Jimmy: 💰💰 talks and you've got more of it to chat bollocks about me with Janis: you've been warned Jimmy: You loved it, I've got enough witnesses Janis: very unreliable Janis: they all hate me Jimmy: I will an' all if you drag me to court Jimmy: ain't got a suit or owt and I ain't buying one for you unless we 💍 Janis: fake marriage is too far, we agreed Janis: though would LOVE to ask them all to be my bridesmaids so I could dress them in the ugliest shit and watch the meltdowns ensue Jimmy: Go on, all marriages are fake any road Janis: just string out the engagment and planning then blow that shit up on the day Janis: s'a proper finale Jimmy: knew you'd get it 💕 Janis: suck on that pregnant amie Janis: steal your ✨ Jimmy: if she'd left it at that she might not be 🤰 Janis: don't make me laugh Jimmy: why? not enough cardio for you or? Janis: 'cos I'll look mental and not the new image I'm going for, tah Jimmy: Fine, I'll make you 😳 Janis: you can try Jimmy: [sends her a pic of all those epic love bites she did cos they'd look WILD the next day like] Janis: they look pretty Janis: very artsy Jimmy: proper Georgia O’Keeffe you Janis: 😒 I know she was the vag obsessed one, twat Jimmy: 'Course you do Janis: shut up Janis: not a moron Janis: or a lesbian Jimmy: Don't need to tell me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: Baby Janis: such a windup, you Janis: gotta have finished your 🚬 by now Jimmy: ain't that 👴 Jimmy: giving it my best go with my oxygen on Janis: cute Jimmy: So you want 75 not 45? Alright Janis: your type, not mine Janis: a fucked 45 is fine Jimmy: OUR type, babe, and I'm gonna find him Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 💕 Janis: stop being a goals fella and go do your job whilst you still got it Jimmy: that is my job Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: making me miss you and that Janis: if you don't you'll make me look bad Jimmy: couldn't obvs Janis: yeah her 😍 know no bounds, fair Jimmy: Oi, mine an' all Janis: awh, you jealous Jimmy: Of her? Jimmy: Yeah she's well close to 💀💀💀 and all I can do is wait Jimmy: 🚬💔🎻☕ Jimmy: #friendzonedbythegrimreaper Janis: always the bridesmaid, her Janis: you know you're 🥈 to my 🥇, baby Jimmy: you on the 🥊? Jimmy: that backhander really hit 😵😵😵 Janis: [selfie like pow pow] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [flirty posts and shit to keep it 'safe' haha] Janis: [as if anyone is doubting you rn, they seen enough lmao] Janis: you go this hard with your actual missus, like Jimmy: You've got her attention, be easy enough to go on and ask Janis: seriously Jimmy: What you reckon all that carry on at the CG dont matter to anyone but 👑💀? Janis: well idk do I Janis: why would I Jimmy: Talk of this town and the north Janis: at least any beatdowns will only be 📱 Janis: unless she likes you that much still she'll get on a plane or ferry, like Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: what outcome are you crossing your fingers for there Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: jussayin Janis: not fake fighting for you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not agreed to that level of soap drama Jimmy: where you draw the line that? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I mean Janis: not pregnant rn is she? Janis: fair game Jimmy: I should've opened with asking Jimmy: bit late now Janis: yeah, gonna look weird now Janis: subtlety is not your strong suit Jimmy: It's alright, it ain't hers either Janis: 👍 Jimmy: But I reckon if her hubby had it in him to put it in her since the last 🤰 she wouldn't be in my DMs Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: never know Janis: pregnancy makes you mental Jimmy: Yeah Janis: later then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [later] Janis: did kayleigh f invite you to her party too Jimmy: I dunno, did she? Janis: not your secretary Janis: check your dms Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: I ain't seeing her, have to crash 👮🚔 Janis: why am I so popular, damn Jimmy: gay icon Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: you actually want to go or Jimmy: Do you? Janis: idk Janis: ain't got nothing else on Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: hmm Janis: not sure what her identifier is, but she's alright, does sports science and shit too Jimmy: The party'll be alright an' all then Janis: doubt the squad'll be there so improvement on the last Jimmy: works for me Janis: if you're allowed, like Janis: ⛔ Jimmy: She gonna stop me at the door? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 😏 Janis: nah Janis: guestlist can't be that exclusive if an invite found me Janis: not like we're bffs is it Jimmy: I'll go over the fence to be safe, leave a window open for me or whatever Janis: such a show-off Jimmy: You love a show, Juliet Janis: hm Janis: keep your feet on the ground, yeah Jimmy: Bit late for that 👻 Janis: 👏 alright, got me there Jimmy: right where I want you, babe 🎯💘 Janis: yeah, and where's that? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: gotta get those hourly updates Janis: could be ANYWHERE Jimmy: could be lost Jimmy: Where's this lass live? Janis: good question Janis: oh, like 10 minute walk from yours Janis: [the deets] Janis: easy Jimmy: might get there before my 👮🚔 co-workers then Janis: well i'll be ages Janis: and not 'cos i wanna be fashionably late Janis: so see you there Jimmy: I get it, looking proper #goals takes you longer than it does me 😎 Janis: 🙄 Janis: more like my gaff is in the middle of fucking nowhere and I ain't there rn but I can't go like this Jimmy: Where are you? Gotta be near 🛍 Jimmy: do your thing, rich girl Janis: who am I Jimmy: No idea, who are you? Janis: not a bitch who's gonna get new clothes for a party Jimmy: Alright, you can wear mine, stop begging Janis: however could I pull off such a 😎 look Janis: I daren't Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: never up for a challenge or owt Janis: what's challenging about your style Janis: been same since 1956 Jimmy: You pulling it off, so you said Jimmy: 🤷 if you can't, you can't Jimmy: see you when I see you Janis: and you lost your ability to detect sarcasm, alright Jimmy: might never have had it, how would you know? Janis: giving you benefit of the doubt that you ain't a total idiot but alright Janis: maybe not Jimmy: giving me what's dangerously close to a real compliment an' all there Jimmy: thank fuck you took it back before things got weird Janis: don't sound like me Jimmy: might not be Jimmy: can't 👀 or 👂 you Janis: yeah it's your biggest fan surprise Jimmy: that dickhead Jill is my biggest fan Jimmy: why I'm fake dating her Janis: get lost Janis: you're so annoying Jimmy: Probably will in a bit Jimmy: dry your eyes til then Janis: have you got a problem, like Janis: your sense of direction is for shit Jimmy: It's how they keep northerners in the north, mate Jimmy: ain't even allowed to leave in a ⚰ Jimmy: but 🤞 they bury you right way up Janis: you mean you don't want god to kiss your ass? Janis: seems like something you'd be about Jimmy: He ain't really my type Jimmy: 👴 maybe but a bit of a knobhead Jimmy: and there's the not being real Jimmy: got a fake girlfriend already tah Janis: one to talk 👻 boy Janis: that's just a third of his personality and it's your whole schtick Janis: jealous, clearly Jimmy: You reckon I'm jealous of everyone I ain't Jimmy: getting a bit awkward now Janis: is it Janis: sensitive and all Janis: n'awh Jimmy: I get it, you're that in the dark Jimmy: hang on, I'll put my 📸 on Jimmy: sort you out Janis: about what Jimmy: It's no bother, dark corners can be very #goals Jimmy: just don't 🙀🙀🙀 Jimmy: know what you're like, Jasmine Janis: cats ain't afraid of the dark, boy Jimmy: You don't play by the rules, girl Jimmy: or do you now? Janis: how much do you think has changed in one afternoon? Jimmy: Been a bit since I last had an #update from you Jimmy: could be owt or nowt Janis: ain't the only one capable of mystery, like Jimmy: Good Jimmy: this party'll be shit if I am Janis: what do you reckon you can get away with when you're my plus 1 Jimmy: my name ain't down but I'm still coming in Jimmy: do owt else I want once I manage that Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you know what I'm saying Jimmy: Make up your mind, am I stupid or what? Janis: you're being it if you reckon you can get with someone when I'm at the same party Jimmy: I never said that's what I reckoned Jimmy: I get that you're new to it, but there's more than one way to be mysterious Janis: everything is always about sex, end of Jimmy: For you paddys maybe Janis: pretty sure it's universal but alright Janis: whatever Jimmy: Are you? Janis: am I..? Jimmy: Are you so sure I wanna fuck some girl at this party even though I've been doing all this bollocks to stay single Jimmy: well done Jimmy: You've cracked it, like Janis: 1. single doesn't mean abstinent Janis: 2. why do you say stupid shit that sounds a certain way then get pissed when I take you at said dumb fucking thing you said Janis: 3. i don't care who you do or don't fuck but if that's what you wanna do, probably don't have me there for it Jimmy: I'd ask why you take everything the wrong way but that's obviously what you wanna do Janis: just say you're talking bollocks if that's what you're doing Janis: but also take it somewhere else 'cos I don't need it Jimmy: It ain't but go on and piss off yourself if you like Janis: First good idea you've had Jimmy: Take it then Janis: do what I like, thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: and I got invited so how about you don't come Jimmy: You said it yourself, no way you're getting there 1st Janis: fuck you Janis: you don't even know her Jimmy: I don't know anyone Jimmy: race you 😘 Janis: poor you Jimmy: Lucky me Jimmy: Poor you Janis: don't need your sympathy fake or otherwise Jimmy: Fake or not, you ain't having it Janis: 💔 Janis: oh no Jimmy: Ill play the 🎻s when I'm on the clock if it's alright with you Janis: I don't care what you do as long as it's not at this party Jimmy: 💔💔😭 Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: You finished? Janis: with this convo Janis: why not Janis: with you in general Janis: sadly no Jimmy: Tah for the detailed update Janis: what you asked for Jimmy: 💕 Janis: hope you find your way back home at some point Jimmy: can't stay pissed off at me you Janis: if you leave, sure Janis: your standards are that low Jimmy: Don't worry, staying aint part of my plan Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [we should skip to this party which he obviously gets to first, damn you Cali and your postcode] Janis: [this is such a bad idea like always] Jimmy: [living for it] Janis: [just showing up and avoiding your boyf like hmm okay lmao] Jimmy: [at least he's avoiding everyone anyway cos antisocial bastard so makes it less obvious that he's even there] Janis: [at some point y'all are both gonna end up at the drinks so] Jimmy: [we know that is where he's forever at getting drunk (great idea boy) unless he's outside 🚬 so easy done] Janis: [i die just like sup] Jimmy: [so will he when he sees her serving a look] Janis: [at least you can 'pretend' you've had a domestic, be that couple for the night but still, probably acknowledge each other's existence 'found your way then'] Jimmy: [believable that you could have cos nobody else needs to know he don't give a fuck about his manager or getting in trouble and everyone would be talking about earlier still. He shrugs because always. 'without your help or owt, almost like I dont need you'] Janis: ['well let me know when it stops being almost and I can get on with my shit, yeah? taking a can/bottle/whatever and walking away like good talk] Jimmy: [5ever watching her walk away] Janis: [why are you two here, being such delights lollollol] Jimmy: [Im gonna say he is playing drinking games because peeps have been trying to get him too since he got there cos of that new boy shine honey and theyve worn him down cos hard to resist a challenge or a drink] Janis: 🏆💪 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: even when you lose, it's a win Jimmy: 🥇 or 🤢 Janis: not if you can handle your drink Jimmy: they can't, soz to piss on your expectations Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🍀💔 Janis: tunes can't get much more morbid Jimmy: change them then Janis: won't change the crowd but yeah maybe Jimmy: You've handled worse Janis: don't be so hard on yourself Jimmy: Why would I, got you for that Janis: come on Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: never off the clock on that one, you Janis: ain't personal Janis: don't get to feeling special for it, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: anyway, you give it back so don't act like you're 😢 Jimmy: I ain't acting tonight, tah though Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: try not to need a 🚬 for the next 5 k Janis: [goes out, obvs] Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good, don't need your death on my conscience Jimmy: I know 😇 you Jimmy: be alright Janis: not likely Jimmy: What do you want me to say to that? Janis: say what you want, you ain't acting Jimmy: fucked if I wanna say nowt Jimmy: already done mute to 💀💀💀 today Jimmy: and I gotta stay alive for a bit Janis: so that's my fault, yeah Jimmy: Nah Janis: it's not my fault people won't get off your dick because you're the new boy Jimmy: never said it were Janis: you treat me like it is Jimmy: and you treat me like what? Janis: how am I meant to treat you Jimmy: how am I meant to treat you Janis: I don't fucking know Janis: you're this weird kid who just asked me to do this crazy scheme with him and I'm the idiot who said yes, I guess Janis: but I don't think you knew what you were asking any more than I knew what I was going along with Jimmy: Stop it then Janis: why should it be me Janis: and why is that all you have to say Jimmy: Why shouldn't it be you, that were the plan Jimmy: and why would I say owt else when that's where this is going Janis: a plan you changed Janis: and acting like you have no stakes in whether it ends now or not makes it make even less sense Jimmy: Change it back Jimmy: not acting, remember Janis: then tell the fucking truth Jimmy: I fucking did Janis: what's the point Janis: alright Jimmy: There ain't any, that's what we're both saying Janis: least not one we're happy to admit to Jimmy: You're so Janis: we're gonna go for this again Janis: didn't work last time but go on Jimmy: Piss off Janis: why can't you say it Jimmy: this is fucking stupid Janis: yeah no shit Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: why did you come Jimmy: Why did you? Janis: to see if you would Janis: probably get drunk Jimmy: There you go then Janis: no you can't steal my answer Janis: then you'll just say you never actually said it and it's just bullshit to hide behind Jimmy: I'm here, that's my answer Jimmy: it weren't cause I desperately wanted shots to do to a shit soundtrack Janis: okay Janis: then go Jimmy: is it? Janis: if that's the only reason you're here Jimmy: I came here for you, you twat Jimmy: but alright, I'll go for you then Janis: don't just Janis: why is it like pulling teeth Jimmy: fuck you Janis: why Jimmy: I didn't sign on for this Jimmy: I can't just Janis: you think I did Jimmy: no Janis: you are literally the only other person who can get it and also the one fucking person who won't talk about it Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Jimmy: that this is Jimmy: or that I Janis: that it's not just Janis: fuck Jimmy: You know it's not Jimmy: every dickhead knows it's not Janis: I can't be Janis: I don't wanna be what we've pretended Janis: I ain't but Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: you know Jimmy: I wanna know Jimmy: come here Janis: where are you Jimmy: on the stairs Janis: [comes in Jimmy: [the eye contact bitch] Janis: [when that's all you're doing 'cos you suddenly can't move like] Jimmy: [deer in the headlights moment but dont worry babe hes gonna move and pull you SO close to him that you will die] Janis: [least that would kickstart you into being very clear with what you want] Jimmy: [likewise cos once you do start it's just like a not at all casual free for all of everything you both want] Janis: [heaven help anyone tryna use them stairs like excuse me] Jimmy: [you better find another way peeps because they cannot be tamed rn] Janis: [breaking away to be like 'we can just try it, right?'] Jimmy: [just nodding because if he speaks hes gonna say too much and none of us are ready] Janis: ['no phones, no fans'] Jimmy: [throws his phone to one side dramatically because that bitch] Janis: [when you lol but are also genuinely like 😍 so we back at it] Jimmy: [Its a good thing the squad arent here cos they would know he aint mute LOL so much so you have to stop for a sec and once you do 'when I said I wanted to leave some shit to mystery, this is what I meant. All I meant. For a night, none of the usual bollocks. Just me and you'] Janis: [nods 'I believe you. All the rest just had me in a bad mood. I mean I always am but when-' shakes head 'doesn't matter now'] Jimmy: [moves her hair out of her face after she's shaken her head because #shameless need to always touch it okay and just looking at her like you can tell me cos she can 'go on'] Janis: [bites lip but in an actual nervous way not a saucy one though you know same effect 'I was just fed up with all the things getting in the way of...this, as was, so then when you mentioned your ex- like I don't care if you get back with her but it's why I was so' shrugs like you know] Jimmy: ['I want you to care about me getting back with her more than I'd ever wanna really get back with her' when you just blurt that out nbd quietly but still boy are you drunk enough to be chatting like that, excuse you] Janis: [when you're just looking at him like did I hear that right or am I also that gone and going so red, mumbling 'you know I do'] Jimmy: [nodding in the direction of up the stairs 'let's go up, there's too many dickheads can see us' because its awks and also no fans is meant to be the point] Janis: [yeah probably do find some privacy] Jimmy: [probably the room of this poor girl that didnt even invite him] Janis: like excuse me madam you did not ask for this at least they didn't have a blazing row and ruin your whole ass party] Jimmy: [him shutting the door but then just standing against the back of it like UM cos his turn to freeze, boy this is why you dont speak, going too hard when you do] Janis: [least she's not like we MUST talk now 'cos also the pressing matter of actually being able to make out and not film it or cater to a crowd] Jimmy: [omg just being able to do what you legit wanna] Janis: [a mood, let's hope this girl's room ain't too distracting, have to be going some like] Jimmy: [I vote for a double bed because they deserve that] Janis: [the luxury, get on that boys] Jimmy: [actually having some space in all the ways, imagine] Janis: [not that he's about it or her tbh we know] Jimmy: [but at least you wont fall out if you move guys] Janis: [are we gonna cockblock this before it can go all the way] Jimmy: [probably should cos the way we did their first time before was pretty swag from what I remember, not saying this wouldnt still be but] Janis: [agree though, and easily done like get out me room] Jimmy: [yeah and you can still get pretty far before then we dont need to be that mean] Janis: [things can happen honey] Jimmy: [theyd have to because you cant tell me they wouldnt take the opportunity to touch each other in all the ways you cant upload anywhere or let happen with an audience, shameless as you are, and therefore have had no excuse to do]] Janis: [truly 'cos how bad you would've rather been doing this and she'd be telling him as much] Jimmy: [he would blatantly tell her that too but dying too much so you will have to decode it from the eye contact and other sounds he is giving you instead babe] Janis: [when that's such a mood and I highly doubt how Harry was lol] Jimmy: [ugh god no, he's such a twat] Janis: [defs not thinking about that rn like whomst] Jimmy: [they are gonna be FUMING when they get kicked out of this room cos never enough when youve been waiting and holding back for any length of time] Janis: [literally like opened the floodgates honey this hasn't solved anything but we getting there bless] Jimmy: [you thought you two were frustrated af before hahaha] Janis: [gotta give a reason why they can't just go home together tho, actually] Jimmy: [ooh maybe they do but Ians heard about the CG antics so he kicks off when he hears them come back, lowkey waiting for that fight like] Janis: [that's a good idea also brb wanna die] Jimmy: [at least she can go to Mcvickers when he has to kick her out cos not far Janis: [not that Ian cares, dangerous frankly sir] Jimmy: [honestly she could get murdered you slag] Janis: [giving some time for them to argue but not that much 'cos highkey] Janis: you alright Jimmy: You? Janis: yeah 'course Janis: sorry I got you in shit Jimmy: You've done nowt wrong Janis: probably debatable that Jimmy: alright gimme chance to stop with this bellend and I'll debate it with you Janis: let you focus on that one 🥇 Jimmy: harder work than a latte him Janis: savage Janis: hope you hit him with that burn Janis: oh, forgot about yours Jimmy: I can do better than that me 🥇 Jimmy: oh shit, me an' all Jimmy: ✋ didn't fall off though, must be alright Janis: 🤞 or I've really fucked it with Ian Janis: no one wants a one-handed babysitter, even if he's live-in Jimmy: wouldn't be very goals for a boyfriend either Jimmy: I'd make it work but like a fake hand is going a bit far Janis: pretty macho Janis: pretend you lost it in a 🦈 attack Jimmy: can only be a duel, Juliet, come on Janis: damn, you right Janis: don't have a cousin who's in love with me though Janis: hope I don't, anyway, awkward to find out like this Jimmy: be fun round the Easter table Jimmy: 💔 I don't have any cousins Janis: Poor boy Janis: idk if he was related to that first bitch anyway so there's still hope Jimmy: I'd only be stuck looking after them too, ain't that 💔 or 💰 broke Janis: fair Janis: more trouble than they're worth in all areas Jimmy: got enough on with this dickhead dad Janis: yeah Janis: liked it better when he weren't there, tbh Jimmy: #same Jimmy: 🙏 for us when you're done making sure my hand stays on Janis: add it to the list Janis: hard work but a 😇 gotta do it Jimmy: good 'cause I wanna touch you again Janis: yeah? Jimmy: and 🤖 💕 not what I were necessarily thinking Janis: 😏 Janis: leave the vibrator at home okay Jimmy: hang on, can't turn down extra limbs if I've already lost one Janis: make up your 🧠 Jimmy: Oi, I'm thinking of you here Janis: so the considerate thing weren't an act, interesting Jimmy: shut up Janis: so cute 💕 Jimmy: I just Janis: it's alright, only pissing about Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: promise it is Janis: not an opportunist mugger Jimmy: 👴💕 Jimmy: want me so bad they're willing to do owt now Janis: bit rude to use me as collateral Jimmy: they might not have that long to live, be fair Janis: so that means I've gotta wait Janis: 😒 Jimmy: we've got a pact you ain't dying without me Jimmy: and not til you couldn't 💕 me more Janis: alright Janis: what's one more day Jimmy: only gonna feel like a slow 💀💀💀 Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: mean Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't Janis: I miss you but I actually mean it Jimmy: I Jimmy: where are you? I'll get myself there then Janis: don't get into more trouble or never actually see you again Janis: real starcrossed shit Jimmy: 👻💕 Jimmy: You reckon I've got into enough for you? I don't Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can handle so much more, girl Janis: you can't come here Janis: let me think of something Jimmy: Alright Janis: okay, if I can get us a car, don't ask where it's from, yeah Jimmy: not actually a 👮🚔 babe Janis: good, 'cos my rep really can't handle that Jimmy: the rep I gave you can handle anything I also wanna give you Jimmy: including my dad's 🚗🔑 Janis: yeah? Janis: 'cos I got one for tonight, less likely to miss it than mr 😡 rn Jimmy: Less of a fuck you an' all but you're right Janis: don't need any more interruptions Janis: actual 🚨s included Jimmy: actual crashes too 'cause I'm a shit driver anyway Jimmy: not how I wanna kill you Janis: not how I'm planning on going out either Janis: I'm alright, and we need to be in the middle of nowhere so Janis: come to this address Janis: [mcvickers house soz i'm stealing your car lads] Jimmy: [should we let him go or not though?] Janis: [that's the real questions and I'm fine with it going either way at this point tbh, Ian would probably be being highkey but that could mean forcing him to stay in or kicking him out so you decide] Jimmy: [yeah exactly either is plausible as is her getting caught by Mcvickers so 🤔🤔🤔] Janis: [oh, might be good to burn that bridge for a bit so then she simply has to stay at his 'cos can never be home] Jimmy: [omg true lets do that then] Janis: [triggering everyone with your illegal driving like your sister ain't die] Jimmy: [its the only way Tess would be angry enough to be like get out tbh so real] Janis: [a new boy for you to hate in your old age god bless] Jimmy: [why not its been a while lol] Jimmy: ? Janis: fucking Janis: i'm Janis: you should go Jimmy: tell me you're alright or I'm going nowhere Janis: i am Janis: i mean i'm beyond fucked off but par for the course Jimmy: 👌 Janis: this is so stupid Jimmy: par for the course that Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you have no idea 🙄 Janis: the ample opportunity we've had up until we actually need it takes the piss Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: genuinely Janis: same but Janis: don't mention it Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: exactly Janis: sincerity is scary, boy Jimmy: 🙀 you Jimmy: be fucked if you weren't fit, Janet Janis: shut up Jimmy: you wanted insincere, mate Janis: no middleground, no Jimmy: very 🥉 thinking that Janis: go away Janis: don't have time for 2 arguments Jimmy: me either Janis: 🤐 or 😴 Jimmy: Alright Janis: any chance of your dad forgetting what I look like any time soon Jimmy: We were barely in the door Janis: not like he knows my name if you don't so 🤞 Jimmy: Gonna have to change it for him anyway, remember Jimmy: no ie ending no 💍 Janis: just a place to crash again is fine Jimmy: Julie's basically it any road Jimmy: won't miss the odd letter, will you Janis: my actual has 2 letters in common but yeah Janis: whatever works Jimmy: 🌹 whatever you're called, like #obvs Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not necessary tonight so give him time to get over it Janis: just you keep 😍 #obvs Jimmy: soon as I can get back in, I'll let you Janis: where are you gonna go Jimmy: It'll be morning in a bit and then I'll go work Janis: I am sorry Janis: make it up to you Janis: but there's no chance she's turning this car around to pick you up Jimmy: he don't need an excuse to be a prick Jimmy: and Ill survive a shift without my name badge Janis: still, he got one Janis: I left a blanket and shit at the park near yours last time, strapped under the ramp but it's usually gone if I leave it too long so Janis: but Jamie's the best 💔 Jimmy: that's like saying I deserve this, fuck that Jimmy: Jamie might Janis: nah Janis: you know what I meant Janis: and Jamie was into it okay, I'll have a word Jimmy: don't go near him, I don't trust that dickhead 😏 Janis: I'll try but Janis: hard to stay away Jimmy: I'll have a word then Jimmy: he's too 😍😍😍 for you if you ask me Janis: what's it to ya Jimmy: nowt Jimmy: just looking out for you, mate Janis: cheers 😏 Jimmy: You coming to the CG before your wanted posters go up then? Janis: once I've been delivered home for my 2nd bollocking Janis: not planning on sticking around Jimmy: I'm opening up for the rest of the hols as my manager's idea of mine Jimmy: tell them to get it over with and you can stick around here Janis: alright Janis: see you after my great escape then 🤞 Janis: you opening alone or you got your bff with Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: the lass with the extensions? Yeah Tony ain't thought that through Janis: as if I've had 👀 for anyone but Pete, you fool Jimmy: What kind of rumoured lesbian are you? Jimmy: sort yourself out Janis: don't sound like my type Janis: fake? no thanks Jimmy: I mean, she ain't 💀👑 so I get you don't want the competition over tits Janis: fuck off Jimmy: her hair'll still fall out if you pull it, you can make that similarity with Mia work Janis: 😑 Janis: so unfunny Janis: good thing you're fit Jimmy: and I've got 😎 + 🚬 for my personality traits Janis: don't do it for me but sure Jimmy: that sounds dead fake but alright Janis: how does that sound like anything I've ever faked Janis: check your socials, there's way more 😍💕😘 Jimmy: I'd love to obvs but it ain't tomorrow yet Jimmy: and tonight we said none of that bollocks Janis: right Janis: how are we gonna do the fake shit though Janis: going forward Janis: still business as usual or 💀 Jimmy: Is that your way of saying you wanna fake break up to secretly date me or what? Janis: no Janis: idk Janis: is it gonna be weird Janis: weirder Jimmy: always were weird Janis: well yeah Janis: note that -er Jimmy: I don't see how it'll be owt different to faking shit when I didn't like you Janis: alright Janis: why not Janis: not not working Jimmy: we can just see how it goes Jimmy: play it by 👂 if you can leave me one 🧛 girl Janis: no promises 👻 boy Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you sure you want me coming in Jimmy: You don't wanna? Janis: I wanna see you Janis: you see my point Jimmy: I'll see if I can ban them all Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: I mean Janis: gotta win your manager back 'round somehow Janis: order all the lattes you can, gals Jimmy: come and splash your own cash, rich girl Jimmy: won't need them then Janis: you want me to 💩 myself Jimmy: you got me Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: proper kink for me that Janis: save it for the 3rd date Jimmy: you asking me out? Janis: depends Janis: you asking me to shit on you Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You gonna be 💔 if I don't? Janis: obvs Janis: lifelong ambition Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: owt to please you I said Janis: is it the next day already 💕 Jimmy: If you want Janis: sounds like some good ole fashioned fake shit, is all Janis: but fair, can't hear over the 📢 coming at me rn Jimmy: You know me and habits Janis: honestly Janis: can't let it go eh Jimmy: wouldn't wanna scare you, easy done that Janis: 🖕 Janis: not that dependent on it, funnily enough Jimmy: 👌 Janis: the fans, that's another story of 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: let 'em down gently, babe Jimmy: what kind of bad boy Janis: the fake kind Jimmy: 🤞 the cancer risk is an' all Janis: should be vaping soft lad Jimmy: Piss off Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I know that's what you really want from me, babe Jimmy: but you'll have to find a lad who likes you enough to look that much of a twat Janis: then you don't know what I really want from you Jimmy: You gonna change your mind in a bit? Janis: if you're asking if I'll want a 🚬 after, don't be tight Janis: can spare me one Jimmy: Don't be a dickhead, whenever you've asked you've had Janis: and they say romance is dead Janis: not met you Jimmy: Tweet it tomorrow, like Janis: thought we'd started Janis: overachiever Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'owt to please you I said' you kicking us off Jimmy: Nah, it'd be fake if I said I didn't wanna when you know I do Janis: how long is your lunch and when Jimmy: I dunno when but I know it ain't long enough Janis: is that a humblebrag or actual though Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: 😒 Jimmy: What? Janis: not at you Janis: just the rest Janis: gonna go on a long fucking run Janis: nice knowing you if I end up in a different town, start again Jimmy: Alright Janis: got to wait for everyone else to fuck off Janis: ridiculous Jimmy: Swap places with me then Janis: alright Janis: get me a nametag, like Jimmy: Which one do you want on it? Janis: surprise me Janis: I'm method Jimmy: Yeah, love a surprise you Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: what you talking about Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't 😏 at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I don't know but don't be mean Janis: won't come and see you Janis: 💔 that Jimmy: you Jimmy: that's meaner than owt I've said Janis: I know Janis: don't play around, me Jimmy: 😭😭 me Janis: baby Jimmy: How drunk am I? Janis: if anyone asks, we ain't Janis: but probably a fair bit Janis: beer pong champ Jimmy: easy to get 🥇 when you ain't playing, pisshead Janis: dangerously close to a compliment Jimmy: Take it Jimmy: I don't mind Janis: should've just stayed on the stairs Janis: that's what we shoulda done Jimmy: We'd have been interrupted quicker doing what we were if we had Janis: probably Janis: don't reckon any of the party-goers would be as committed to the cockblock though Jimmy: Bit late to test your theory now Jimmy: have to be next time Janis: promise Jimmy: Do you or do I? Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: you Janis: that there's gonna be a next time Janis: proper one, real Jimmy: Come on Janis: say it Janis: wanna hear it Janis: and have it in writing Jimmy: You're such a dickhead Jimmy: have that in writing Janis: what you pussying out for Jimmy: I already said I don't want you in and out on my lunch break Janis: fine Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: ain't forcing you to say nothing Janis: i don't care if you know i want you though, so have it Jimmy: Tonight you don't Janis: what Jimmy: You heard Janis: yeah and that's bollocks Janis: i'm not saying i'm in love with you or any of that fake shit, i'm saying i wanna fuck you Janis: have for ages so Jimmy: and I'm saying don't take the piss out of me 'cause I don't immediately say owt that I ain't been allowed to before now Janis: um i weren't Jimmy: Whatever Janis: i fucking weren't Janis: god forget it Jimmy: like that's easy an' all Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so Janis: whatever it is, I'm sure I know Jimmy: 'Course you do Jimmy: know everything you Janis: yep Janis: that too Jimmy: Biggest fucking head in all of Dublin Janis: tell me it's unwarranted Jimmy: You make me feel like a massive idiot, that's what I'm telling you Janis: not what i set out to do Janis: and don't think you are, for the record but what do you want Jimmy: What do you want? Jimmy: nowt I say or don't is working for you Janis: I don't know, alright Jimmy: Dangerously close to the truth so probably not alright, is it? Janis: like you do Janis: now who's taking the piss Jimmy: Like I don't know what? What I want? Jimmy: that is a pisstake yeah Janis: well how would I know Janis: don't say shit Jimmy: 1. you do know Jimmy: 2. yeah I do Janis: whatever Jimmy: I'm not good with words that don't mean I'm not saying owt to you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: alright let's just Janis: it's been a long weird night Janis: we can leave it Jimmy: So now you want me to shut up? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I didn't say that, dickhead Janis: like I said, not trying to force you to say anything, that's not what I'm about Jimmy: I'm not thick, I know what leave it out means Janis: Jesus Janis: I'm trying to be nice for once Jimmy: Clearly not gonna work, that Janis: 👍 Janis: thanks Jimmy: Save it, better at faking that bit you Janis: fuck you then Jimmy: not unless your 2nd attempt at kicking a car is better than the 1st Janis: ha Janis: don't count on it Jimmy: I obviously can't Jimmy: but I were well aware you can't do owt right the first time so don't worry Janis: at least I get there in the end Janis: you did fuck all, as per Jimmy: Get where? Jimmy: you're nowhere same as I am Janis: not for long Jimmy: Impressive Janis: don't care what you reckon Jimmy: Make up your mind Janis: never have Jimmy: I know, you don't have any idea what you want, you said Janis: don't flatter yourself Janis: that's only about you and you don't feature in the big picture do you Jimmy: Why would I bother? Plenty of other dickheads to flatter me, including you earlier Janis: so? Janis: why do you reckon I'm gonna be embarrassed Jimmy: Why do you care what I reckon even as you're saying you don't? Janis: because it's worth a laugh Janis: it's just sex, plenty of people want you, plenty want me, who cares Jimmy: My entire reason for doing this is that I care about how wants me and doesn't Jimmy: who* Jimmy: and you'd throw me to them if you didn't Jimmy: So stop talking bollocks Janis: it ain't Janis: it's not that simple Jimmy: Why? Jimmy: You either give a shit or you don't Jimmy: and you either want me or you don't Jimmy: sort it out Jimmy: and when you have just say it Janis: I said I do want you Janis: I literally said it and you rejected it outta hand Janis: just because I was trying to say how much of a headfuck it is because what's real and what's fake and what parts are both Jimmy: You also said that after you've had a go I can basically fucking vanish 'cause who cares Jimmy: loads of others Janis: I didn't say it like that Janis: or mean it like Janis: it's just weird alright Jimmy: You're weird Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: no kidding Janis: what would you rather, I was like them Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what's the point in pretending Jimmy: Depends Janis: to get dickheads to leave you alone aside #obvs Jimmy: How shit is it gonna be to break the habit? Janis: shit Janis: nothing to say we can't stick at it 'til you're old news Jimmy: isn't there? Jimmy: I reckon owt's been said and done Janis: then it won't be hard to break the habit if that's what you think Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Fuck pretending then Janis: fuck pretending Jimmy: Don't be scared of me Jimmy: you can say or do owt you want Janis: why do you think I'm scared Janis: of you or anything Jimmy: because Janis: what, because I'm angry all the time Jimmy: because recognition Jimmy: I am, I know you are Janis: why are you scared Jimmy: Why is the why important? Janis: Deflection's easier, yeah Jimmy: 💔 then Janis: well you don't need to worry about that Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: in general, yeah Janis: but not with me Jimmy: You think you're never gonna hurt me? Jimmy: wearing enough bruises for you already, aren't I? Janis: that weren't me, don't count Jimmy: cheat Janis: nah Janis: just saying, not my sport Janis: 💔 Janis: got no interested in breaking yours Jimmy: flattered, like Jimmy: but that's what every lass says Janis: so Janis: not every girl is me, been discussed Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: not like I know you, been discussed an all Janis: up to you if you wanna find out then Janis: but the idea you think I've got the time or energy to dedicate to that is insulting Jimmy: I get it, I ain't special, no need to go on about it Jimmy: heard you at bigger picture Janis: nothing personal Janis: no one is Jimmy: nowt is with you Jimmy: but you don't reckon I should be on my guard Jimmy: very suspect that Janis: you worried about being collateral, duck Janis: just saying, not gonna make it my life's mission to fuck you up Jimmy: and I'm saying you want me to tell you things, put myself out there when it don't mean owt to you Jimmy: how's that fair Janis: I never asked you to bare your soul to me Janis: I asked you to say you wanted to fuck me as well Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: I did say that Jimmy: if that were all you wanted to hear you wouldn't call owt a headfuck Janis: I know you're vague on purpose Janis: that's why I asked you to say it, so it couldn't be taken back and said it was never said Janis: that's the headfuck Janis: all the previous shit can be wrote off as fake and neither of us can argue otherwise even if we wanna Jimmy: But if it's just sex which means fuck all to you or to me then why do you care what I say or don't after? Jimmy: that's why I don't get you Janis: same reason we started this Janis: everyone gets to talk shit on me Janis: not having it taken as gospel 'cos you put your dick inside me thanks Jimmy: I weren't about to screenshot and tweet out this convo once I did Janis: you're the only one that can be on his guard Janis: nah Jimmy: I'm the only fucker admitting that I am Jimmy: If you reckon I'm like that, like them, why would you even wanna do any of it? Janis: never said I reckoned that Jimmy: You think I'm gonna talk shit about you Janis: you could Janis: do it to my face plenty so why wouldn't you Jimmy: because I do it to your face Jimmy: go no reason to go anywhere else with it Janis: flattered, like Jimmy: just Janis: there's no way to guarantee any of this shit so we may as well agree to trust Janis: or not trust Janis: either or Jimmy: been worked out that we don't Janis: then it's settled Jimmy: is it? Janis: like I said, what we gonna do Janis: make a blood oath Jimmy: left my dagger up north, soz Jules Janis: then it definitely is Janis: letdown Jimmy: I'll delete my profiles then Jimmy: avoid you til school starts Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: Oh alright, what kind of fake break up do you want? Janis: have you been listening Janis: for fuck sake Jimmy: Have you? Janis: shut up, that's literally so far from the point of anything we were just talking about Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: go to hell Janis: seriously Jimmy: Tah for the holiday recommendation but the CG's only place I'm off to for a bit Jimmy: close but no 🚬 Janis: good, I hope you suffer Jimmy: 🤞 and 🙏 Janis: no need, you miserable prick Jimmy: not totally clueless then Janis: you wish Jimmy: I do wish you would catch onto a few, yeah Janis: heard you at avoid you til school starts, don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're an absolute cunt Janis: why would you get me to say it again just to Jimmy: Go on Janis: and all that bullshit about being scared about getting hurt too Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: Yeah, all of this is utter bollocks Jimmy: what the fuck is right though Jimmy: what the fuck else do you expect me to do? Janis: how the fuck do you take me REPEATEDLY telling you that I want you as 'I'm going to ignore you from now on, bye' Janis: literally are we having the same conversation Jimmy: How can you think telling me repeatedly what a low fucking opinion of me you've got of me is gonna put me in a 😍 mood? Jimmy: Or that this is a good idea when we don't trust each other Janis: where Jimmy: You want this to mean nowt and now there's nowt to worry about Janis: I never said I have a low opinion of you Janis: and you don't give a shit about what I want so don't even pretend for the bit Jimmy: how do you take me REPEATEDLY asking you what you want as not caring about the answer? Janis: when you do the opposite Janis: how else can I take that Jimmy: like I said, what else can I do? Janis: not what I want, apparently Janis: alright Jimmy: I really fucking like you, alright Janis: we don't even know each other, how many times have you said that Jimmy: not enough obviously Jimmy: if it didn't make any difference Janis: but Janis: why Jimmy: Why are you asking me like its my fault? Janis: not fault but I do everything Janis: did everything so this doesn't happen Jimmy: It might be fake Jimmy: a headfuck like you said Jimmy: everything just Janis: you think so Janis: yeah you liked fake me Janis: you don't like me, you say it all the time Jimmy: that'd make more sense Jimmy: but tonight was real and I liked that too Janis: this is a mess Janis: i am Janis: you shouldn't get involved just 'cos I wanna Jimmy: but it weren't one sided Jimmy: everything we did earlier I wanted to do it Jimmy: and everything we still haven't Janis: it'd be easier if we hated each other Janis: its okay if I like you but you shouldn't like me Jimmy: just do me a favour alright Janis: what Jimmy: keep being real with me so I can work it out Janis: i don't want to hurt you Janis: i don't know or care how i put it before but i don't Jimmy: I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: might be that tonight's a fluke, I'm drunk and you're fit, not gonna not be into it Jimmy: you Janis: alright Janis: then it's a deal Jimmy: What? Janis: I'll keep being real Janis: like you asked Jimmy: Promise Janis: promise Jimmy: Alright, I swear I'm sorry Janis: what for Janis: not saying there's so much you gotta be specific but Jimmy: Making this weird Jimmy: weirder Janis: weren't one-sided either Janis: it's what it is Jimmy: Will you still Janis: come see you? Jimmy: Do you still wanna? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Okay Janis: besides, someone needs to make sure you don't die on the job Janis: bring you some caffeine that doesn't taste like shit Jimmy: and deny Ian the pleasure of doing me in? What kind of son would I be Janis: so your dads a real dick yeah Jimmy: you were warned Janis: we need to pimp out your shed so you got a place to sleep Janis: I was thinking Jimmy: the trampoline's alright, like you said Jimmy: can't remember how you did but you liked it Janis: when it's warm-ish out, yeah Janis: was comfy Janis: you or that dog woke me up though Jimmy: It's always warm out compared to Manchester Jimmy: why I need my 😎 Jimmy: and everything is always the 🐕 never me Janis: take your word for it on both of those Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I get why you reckon it'd be easier for us to hate each other but I hate Ian and nowt is for it Janis: yeah Janis: you're right Janis: there's nothing easy about hate it's just Janis: more familiar, idk Jimmy: the 💔 is different Janis: right Janis: if you already hate them, then it's not as shit, yeah Jimmy: At least you don't love me, it's even shitter when it's both together Janis: yeah Janis: headfuck doesn't begin to cover it Jimmy: @ my mum if she still used her profiles Janis: you don't know? Jimmy: She ain't logged in for years, why do you reckon I'm so tempted Janis: can't blame her Jimmy: who could compete with Iantaylor8 for online presence Jimmy: other than us Janis: well exactly Janis: also be a bit rude to deny the world your face Jimmy: yours Jimmy: so I'll keep my 📷 one Jimmy: maybe Janis: as long as you don't avoid me too Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: then don't Janis: I don't want you to either Jimmy: tell me again tomorrow Jimmy: when I'm less Janis: gotcha Jimmy: it just hurts more now Janis: i'm sorry Janis: do you want me to come? i don't have to Jimmy: you didn't do this Janis: what do you need, let's start there Jimmy: Now? Janis: yeah, now Jimmy: Tomorrow Jimmy: it needs to be tomorrow so I can see you Janis: baby Janis: you can see me today, it's alright Janis: I'll help you at work, it'll all be good Jimmy: I'm not letting you serve lattes to any of those dickheads Jimmy: you're too good Janis: shh Janis: i wanna help you somehow, i've gotta Jimmy: Do you wanna just 💀💀💀 them? Jimmy: me and you Janis: killing spree then a death pact is a solid chain of events but probably want to start in a better state, don't we Janis: 💪🥇 Jimmy: can be an utterly new pact if there's enough poison to go round Jimmy: you don't have to die at the end Janis: what about you? Jimmy: Did you forget? 👻 Jimmy: already am Janis: how could I Janis: is your manager actually in today? what if we contact that Pete kid see if he'll cover for you Janis: you should get some proper sleep, in an actual bed Janis: I can persuade him Jimmy: OMG you wanna use me to slide into his DMs Janis: boy, focus Janis: not really the sexiest approach, please do some overtime for my boyfriend Jimmy: 👀 on your 😍 girl Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you gonna answer any of that or Jimmy: I don't know if my manager is supposed to be in Jimmy: probably won't be either way though Jimmy: Oh the money, power and the glory Janis: you can but dream, yeah Janis: well it's up to you then Janis: but it'd probably be worse if you were in and in this state so what he don't know Janis: can't get you sacked Jimmy: I don't have any other place to go though, do I Janis: won't he be at work by now himself? Janis: can come back to mine if not, no funny business Jimmy: he's not the one I care about Janis: your brother and sister? Jimmy: I'm not gonna wake her up to let me in Jimmy: or let him see me like Janis: right, okay Janis: we'll sort you out first Jimmy: Didn't reckon all that fake nursing training you had would really come in handy, eh? Jimmy: can't help being goals Janis: bit of an extreme length to go to for some TLC but I'll allow it Janis: I'm on my way now so just hold on, yeah Jimmy: I mean, it's fairly standard for me but alright Janis: how you pull all the birds is it Jimmy: Babe, I'm just SUCH a lad, yeah? Jimmy: get drunk, have a scrap, nick my dad's scotch and get MORE drunk Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: gotta be done Janis: I get it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: fit right in on this bus Jimmy: don't get 💀💀💀 after we've changed the story in favour of your survival Jimmy: bit rude Janis: try my best Janis: don't victim blame me Janis: please and thanks Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: blaming you for nowt Jimmy: 😂 bit soon? Janis: hmm, don't get cheeky, like Janis: just 'cos you're a patient today Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: just a bit then Janis: trying to be nice Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: I promise Jimmy: I won't be cheeky enough that you kick me out of bed Janis: you're always nice, babe Janis: little ray of sunshine Jimmy: anyone can be nice Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🌩🌪 Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: You know when you're a kid and you count Jimmy: that's what it's like waiting to see you Janis: you're gonna make me Janis: forget to be professional Jimmy: not on the clock til you get here, it's alright Janis: I'm mostly worried about when I do get there, like Janis: not that I'm about to give the bus a show Jimmy: don't worry I'll take care of you too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: yeah, we are Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're alright, you know Janis: you know I think you're alright Jimmy: I will be when you show up Janis: such a smoothtalker, honestly Jimmy: I know you didn't think all that were fake Jimmy: come on Janis: there's only so far you can get with no inspiration, yeah Jimmy: good thing you're 🎨 or we'd have been exposed as frauds ages ago Janis: we're a pretty good team, all things considered Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: yep Janis: shame you can't put relationships on CVs Jimmy: I can't pay you owt either 💔 Janis: don't need it Janis: or want it, like Jimmy: but decent headshots could get you a modelling job 📷 not 🎯 Jimmy: I could do that Janis: then we could both go Janis: no 💀 Jimmy: might work Janis: start of a plan Janis: we have such a good track record, like Jimmy: 💀👑 would 💀🤯 Jimmy: ⚰🎊🍾 Janis: just when she thought she couldn't be any more jealous Jimmy: I can give motivational speeches as my 2nd job too cause I felt it with every emoji Janis: very empowering, babe 💕 Jimmy: onto something Janis: reckon so Janis: just don't bang EVERY model you shoot Janis: get well shaming Jimmy: They'd have to all be as fit as you Janis: practically in the job description Janis: unless they're the 'unique' kind Jimmy: there's loads in mine I don't do Janis: 😱 employee of the month Janis: shh Jimmy: you'd vote for Pete anyway Janis: don't think they follow democratic process Janis: and how dare you, Jamie is the backbone of that place Jimmy: still Jimmy: you would Janis: nah Janis: you deffo would though Jimmy: I'd vote for myself Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: #selflove Janis: can respect it, boy Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 1. how much scotch did you drink Janis: 2. did you text your ex anything you should delete before you sober up Jimmy: if you're asking if there's any left for you 💔 I fucked up Jimmy: as for Hayley, she's been told to fuck off by half the north, she'll live Janis: could be worse then Janis: not for me, obvs Janis: but same Jimmy: I don't wanna get back with her, you know that, right? Janis: not my business either way Jimmy: Alright but do you have to say it like that? Janis: how do you want me to say it Jimmy: if its how you feel then Janis: look Janis: I'm glad I don't have to share your attention right now Janis: 'course I am but I don't need to sound possessive about it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is it Jimmy: Before, you said Jimmy: maybe I can't remember it right though Janis: no go on Janis: it's cool Jimmy: I dunno, I just Jimmy: reckoned you needed to hear that Janis: I did think maybe Janis: just some things you'd said too but it's Janis: you know Jimmy: you go on Janis: well like I said, not my business if you were Janis: but yeah, I thought you were Janis: I'd get it Jimmy: I wouldn't get it Jimmy: I trusted her and she Jimmy: It don't even matter anymore Jimmy: I made a mistake doing that and she made hers Janis: it's okay, you don't owe me an explanation Janis: I don't know her or your situation Janis: I just thought, from my limited perspective, you hate it here, it'd be a link to home, even if it was a bad one, like Jimmy: I hated it there an' all Jimmy: just 'cause I didn't ask and weren't asked to come here don't mean I wanna go back Janis: oh Janis: well that I get Jimmy: you had it right when you called me a miserable prick or whatever it were Janis: bit harsh though Janis: shit's shit Janis: you'd be an idiot if you didn't see it Jimmy: 🌧☔ me Jimmy: I'm alright with it by now Janis: yeah? Janis: that's something then Jimmy: everything's shit everywhere Jimmy: nowt gonna change next place he drags us Janis: wherever you go, there you are Jimmy: might get a new mum, might not Jimmy: might hear from my actual, might not Janis: she don't even call Jimmy: and say what? Janis: fucked Jimmy: they both were Jimmy: are Jimmy: and so are us kids Jimmy: ⚪ Janis: yep Janis: get out early as you can Janis: and don't have kids yourself Janis: only poem I've read that's any use Jimmy: 💔 that age 6 is probably pushing it a bit Janis: give it a few more years of shit and you can get away with it Jimmy: I'll start him on the poem anyway Janis: Larkin's dead easy Janis: debatable how appropriate but I'd go for very so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: so we're going back to mine first Janis: or what Jimmy: You made this plan Janis: you gonna comply Jimmy: Depends Janis: that's what I was 🙀 of Janis: go on Jimmy: my 🙀💕 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: What's your house like? Janis: old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere Janis: perfect place for the local nutters to reside Jimmy: well now I'M 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you should be Janis: nah, you'll be able to get a decent kip, they're all doing their own shit and giving me disapproving looks if they know what's good for 'em Jimmy: Alright, protect me then Janis: always, babe Jimmy: I'm being dead serious Janis: 1. what makes you think I ain't Janis: 2. why Jimmy: just Janis: we can sneak in Janis: well, we can try but I don't know how well you'll do, pisshead Jimmy: Shut up 🏆💪 Janis: happy to be proved wrong Janis: it'll all be good though, promise Jimmy: stay close to me and you can every step Janis: I won't leave you on your own Jimmy: because you wanna stay or because you reckon I'll 🤢 and choke to 💀💀💀 Janis: you've made it this far without me, I'm not that bigheaded Janis: believe that or not Janis: I wanna stay Jimmy: even if I wanna die I wouldn't give Mia owt close to any satisfaction so that ain't the way for me to go Janis: hot Janis: keeping it petty, even in 💀💀💀 Jimmy: remind me to send it as a tweet tomorrow or something Janis: 'course Janis: that relatable suicidal/horny vibe, they get it Jimmy: #ultimategoals Janis: I think so Jimmy: I think no # would ever do you justice Jimmy: a voice memo is pushing it even with this top accent Janis: that laugh one you sent me was cute Jimmy: you do make me 😂 girl Janis: I know Janis: got the evidence for all time now 💕 Jimmy: keep it Jimmy: I'll be back as a 👻 fucking up all your electronics baby Janis: dunno what you got against 🍆s Jimmy: if they're not in you then nowt Janis: 😂 Janis: new levels of jealousy that Jimmy: is it? Janis: new to me Jimmy: Soz then Janis: don't Janis: don't need to be, like Jimmy: but if it's weird Jimmy: or too like Janis: it ain't Janis: its Janis: it ain't Janis: I wanna hear it all Janis: don't hold back okay Jimmy: You wanna hear what bits you do then you want me to shut up is what you mean Janis: would've said it if that's what I meant Janis: just 'cos I don't know what to say don't mean you can't say it if you wanna Jimmy: it's what everyone means, nowt personal Janis: you're just so chatty, like Jimmy: You just bring it out in me Janis: 'course Jimmy: so inspiring Jimmy: have to write you a poem now I know you're such a fan Janis: 😂 Janis: go on, he was always drunk Janis: will be a masterpiece Jimmy: Alright, shut up and let us crack on Janis: such a 🎨 temperament Janis: 🤐 alright Jimmy: [a selfie of his adorably drunk concentration face like 🤔 with a pen in his mouth and everything] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: OMG Janis: your fault Jimmy: Girl if you don't 🤐🤐🤐 Janis: or what, boy Jimmy: You'll show up and I'll show you Janis: mhmm 😏 Janis: reckon you've got like 5-10 so write fast Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nearly done Janis: dread to think Jimmy: Oi🥇 muse and top content Jimmy: so rude Janis: just a sext that rhymes, yeah? Jimmy: You ain't having it now Jimmy: gonna 🔥 it dramatically in this bin Janis: let's not play with fire tah Janis: and don't be mean Jimmy: you Janis: I'm joking Janis: I'm sure it's 🔥 Jimmy: [a poem that I don't have the talent to actually write soz lads] Janis: it actually is Janis: how did you do that Jimmy: I told you got a 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 muse in you Jimmy: keep up with what I'm saying, Janet Janis: but really Jimmy: What? Janis: you're good, that's all Jimmy: Baby Janis: I mean it, like Janis: no bullshit Janis: english teacher must love you Jimmy: she don't Jimmy: too much 🎨 in my margins Janis: can't be tamed Janis: maverick Jimmy: rebel with just that one cause still Janis: 'course baby Jimmy: if you ain't wearing your pjs why would you even be here, like Janis: you can see 'em when we get back Janis: sure you've missed them Jimmy: gonna make me 😭😭 Janis: emotional drunk Janis: it's alright, won't tell Jimmy: emotional support PJs Janis: 😂 don't get to be a funny one and all Jimmy: can do it all me Janis: 😍 Janis: just need to sleep, alright Jimmy: you wanna 🥊 or 💋? Jimmy: working through the list Janis: you know we can't do either yeah Janis: not drunk as you now Janis: nothing if not fair, me Jimmy: can fix that for you Jimmy: unless your parents are teetotal or something Jimmy: even then can't live that in the middle of nowt, can you Janis: lol you have no idea Janis: wait and see Janis: and we're fixing you, not feeding my addiction Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: I know, how d'ya think I feel Janis: things I do for you Jimmy: I'll owe you though, you love that Janis: that's you but good to even the score Janis: can't lie Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: is that a subtle way to say I need to hurry or Jimmy: working through a list, I said Jimmy: gotta use the bin for something since you said no fires Janis: so demanding Janis: almost like I don't want you getting more burns Jimmy: that Freddy Krueger #aesthetic though 😍 Jimmy: love a stripy jumper me Jimmy: very slimming 💀👑 will double tap my OOTD faster than you can say no cheese Janis: you are technically a nonce so Janis: the fedora fits Jimmy: 😂 Janis: where are you then Jimmy: where am I Jimmy: good question that Janis: full of 'em, me Janis: gimme a clue Jimmy: 🍀 Janis: oh good, you ain't fled the country Janis: wouldn't be very good for my rep, that Jimmy: Looking for a bus has gotta be easier than looking for the one lad Jimmy: hang on Janis: how blurry are your 👀 Jimmy: I'll take my 😎 off, babe Jimmy: for you Janis: scandalous Janis: behave you Jimmy: #nudes Jimmy: 👀 Janis: dunno if I'll recognize you even Jimmy: 😱😱😱💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: supposed to know me anywhere you Jimmy: the films have fucking lied Janis: shit fake gf me Janis: always said it Jimmy: If you want a tea you'll have to wait til we get back Jimmy: or fake it of course Janis: wanna have a tea party Jimmy: Depends Janis: guest list? Jimmy: So who else is invited? Janis: only the best 🧸s in town Jimmy: Forget that twat 🧸 your sister hangs out with then Janis: 😂 Janis: deffo Jimmy: I dont want owt to do with him Jimmy: no trust there, like Janis: unless he makes his own way Janis: ain't risking that bear cave to bring him Jimmy: if he is owt like her Jimmy: 🥇 at turning up where she ain't wanted Janis: telling me Janis: 🤞 he's like his father Jimmy: yeah, your birth being one Jimmy: well awkward Janis: so rude, honestly Janis: fuming in that womb I was Jimmy: Well done on taking the spotlight every day since, mate Janis: 🤷 Janis: someone's gotta Janis: she'd melt Jimmy: the kind of commitment I need Jimmy: and you need on your CV Janis: always banking them transferrable skills Jimmy: might be the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: dunno but it's up there Janis: you're a lucky boy Janis: everyone knows Jimmy: fake 💍 ASAP then Janis: have to find me first Jimmy: Stop distracting me Jimmy: or be distracting IRL Janis: [find this boy lmao] Jimmy: [just like oh hey cos how far away can he really be] Janis: [exactly, when you've gotta wait for a bus straight back, go to a different cafe and get some breakfast kids] Jimmy: [state of him he needs it lbr] Janis: [just steering him like] Jimmy: [nice parallel to when he had to when she hurt herself on that trip lol] Janis: [just silently fuming at Ian's handiwork blatantly, actually getting a pot of tea too 'cos why not] Jimmy: [tea improves any situation okay bye] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [are they sitting next to each other or opposite? Real questions] Janis: [hmm, probably opposite on a lil 2 seater moment] Jimmy: [eye contact ftw] Janis: [plenty of time for snuggling later, oh the casual tension you're having to put aside rn girl, it fine lmao] Jimmy: [so soz Janis but actually no Im not haha] Janis: ['better?'] Jimmy: ['if things between us are' you know hes drunk when he answers a question] Janis: [nods but looks away like so casual 'course'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying to do something to make her look at you again but you end up just gently holding her face and looking into her eyes for 9 years] Janis: [bit deer in the headlights but allowing it still] Jimmy: [nods genuinely like okay I believe you as if she hasnt just come all this way to find you and take care of you bitch] Janis: [licks his hand like get off but also kisses it 'dope'] Jimmy: ['stop giving me such weird compliments'] Janis: ['stop taking insults as compliments, slag' 😏] Jimmy: [throws a sugar packet at her like how sweet] Janis: [puts it in his tea like energy] Jimmy: ['Oi, sweet enough me' but puts another one in anyway] Janis: 🍬🍨🍧🍭🍰 Janis: you Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 🤞 won't be any time soon Janis: ['try your best' shrugs 'like you said, ain't your fault though'] Jimmy: My fault he ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: I'll come through with the ☢️⚠️☣️ Jimmy: only so many times I can say tah before it's weird, you know Janis: won't tell if you forget your manners Jimmy: 😏 you'd like it is why Janis: shh Janis: return the favour Jimmy: not gonna say owt to anyone Jimmy: mute, remember Janis: can be as loud as you wanna, remember Jimmy: that middle of nowhere, is it? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: told you Janis: no one can hear you 😱 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: very shy me Janis: yeah, noticed Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but nearly knocks the precious tea everywhere cos drunkard] Janis: ['careful!'] Janis: I ain't got an apron and you can't be out yours yet Jimmy: [throws a napkin at her like sorted] Janis: [😑] Jimmy: sure you don't wanna 🥊, babe? Janis: stop being tempting Jimmy: never 💕 Janis: what am I gonna do with you, like Jimmy: What do you wanna do with me? Janis: [a LOOK 😳] Jimmy: [obviously giving her one back but shamelessly] Janis: [putting your finger to his mouth like he speaking] Jimmy: [you know they gotta go in his mouth in a saucy manner now girl he got no chill and cant be stopped] Janis: we're in public Jimmy: You're my girlfriend in public Janis: you see anyone else doing Janis: that Jimmy: if they were going out with you, I would see it, yeah Janis: you're wasted Jimmy: and what? Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Jimmy: it's won't not can't Jimmy: and that's only 'cause you said Janis: yeah okay Janis: but that's the right thing to do Janis: even if I don't wanna Jimmy: If it feels right to you then Janis: you know it is Janis: or you'll know later Jimmy: Later I'll be 😴💤 I won't know nowt Janis: that's the plan Janis: come find me after that, yeah? Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: nowhere Jimmy: might actually be able to find you then Janis: 🤞 Janis: believe in ya Janis: ['finish up' 'cos bus has to come eventually] Jimmy: [when you just give her a look like do you though? before necking that tea honey] Janis: [gathering their shit and holding the door open for him like come on boy] Jimmy: ['so romantic you' as he goes through the door like] Janis: [does a bow] Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [takes her hand because if you cant handhold when you need to be kept upright when can you] Janis: ['least you'll definitely get a seat' 'cos can't be wobbling about the bus lmao] Jimmy: ['A northern 45 is a 95 anywhere else, only gotta spread the word a bit'] Janis: ['you're doing a great job with the psa, mate'] Jimmy: [IRL 👍] Janis: [sitting him down and she should have to stand busy bus vibe] Jimmy: [trying to move up as if she can share this seat with you like that unthinkingly but she not #smol] Janis: tah Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: considerate forever Jimmy: [gesturing that she can sit on you because not like she hasnt before and its all so casual lol lol lol] Janis: [a look like are you sure? also excuse them the like old lady he's probably next to heheheh] Jimmy: [a look like do you wanna stand for 13 years I dont think so] Janis: [shrugs and hops on] Jimmy: [wrapping his arms around her like a seatbelt even though shes not gonna fall off and we know you just are doing a little hug moment boy] Janis: [so soft] Jimmy: [god bless] Janis: [a moment even if you're dying slightly] Jimmy: [just really leaning his head on her so casually here too nbd] Janis: [stroking his hair and sneaky checking the bruises and stuff] Jimmy: [he started it but its too soft and hes dying like] Janis: at least you look cool Janis: [is sad face tho] Jimmy: [makes her sad face a smiley face by smushing it] Janis: [lols 'excuse me'] Jimmy: helping you look if not 😎 then 😊 Janis: you're sweet Jimmy: you not gonna do the emojis this time? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: baby Jimmy: [😍 in this close a proximity, not a good idea boy, but here we are] Janis: you're just very Janis: distracting Janis: [so much eye contact] Jimmy: [when you say 'you' out loud so you don't have to break it by looking down at your phone to type] Janis: [annnnnd hold, just internally debating if you can kiss him or not morally] Jimmy: [we all know he would be leaning in to kiss her and then would so] Janis: [go with it girl, it's okay] Jimmy: [don't mind them bus peeps they just gotta have a moment] Janis: [lmao the tutting they don't even notice rn] Jimmy: [deal with it slags they are in love] Janis: [the level of restraint you need to keep it just at a makeout moment tbh, the old lady should need to get off like ahem lol] Jimmy: [honestly its been SUCH a night and they are gonna be on this bus for ages yet gdi, off you go 👵] Janis: [least they've got two seats now, spread out] Jimmy: [but never that much you clingy bitches #same] Janis: [lbr would've taken you longer than necessary to get off his lap] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [has to kiss her again obvs because they stop when they want not when a 👵 says so] Janis: [which is lowkey never but it's fine, long bus journey] Jimmy: [at least you can take advantage of having slightly more space to basically swap over so he's all but on top of her now instead, the tuts would be LOUD haha] Janis: [just being like 'don't get too comfy' 😏 between kisses] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK because unrepentant af about any of this soz passengers] Janis: [when you have to be the one with some control lmao good luck] Jimmy: [at least theres plenty of other people on this bus to tell you to get some LOL] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪🔪 Janis: 👴👵🚨👮⛓ Jimmy: 👵💔👴 Jimmy: so jealous them Jimmy: 👮🚔 will be an all Janis: yeah you're pretty cute Jimmy: you Janis: you wanna 🥊 so bad Jimmy: not what I most want but alright Janis: really Janis: maybe you should be clearer Jimmy: [more kisses that are more extra, look away people] Janis: I get it Jimmy: You sure? Janis: ['You know you wanna' and a LOOK] Jimmy: [forever returning those looks bitch and you can have some lovebites too girl cos its been a minute for you] Janis: [into it] Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [just taking photos of said bruises like it's a force of habit but you just wanna] Jimmy: [thats fine because gives him an excuse to take 📷 of her too which he always just wants to] Janis: you gonna be my personal photographer Janis: when I'm mega famous Jimmy: Do you still want me to follow you about then? Janis: Do you? Janis: [are you him like] Jimmy: Where are you going? Janis: Paris, Milan, Tokyo Janis: list is endless Jimmy: Alright Janis: alright Janis: sorted Jimmy: til I get lost Jimmy: at least you know how to take a decent selfie, babe Janis: have to put a tracker on you Janis: not a crazy gf, for his safety purely Jimmy: [lols] Janis: [😍] Jimmy: [just looking into those 😍 with your own] Janis: [😳] Jimmy: [kissing her on each cheek really soft like hes practising for europe but we know its for the 😳] Janis: ['stop' but soft] Jimmy: [does but doesnt move far enough away so still up in her grill like] Janis: [just pushing his head down, gently lol, like go to sleep] Jimmy: [pouty face] Janis: [squishing his face for revenge] Jimmy: [like oi because standard but snuggling into her] Janis: ['promise I'll wake you up'] Jimmy: ['no challenge too hard going for you, I get it' sleepy voiced] Janis: ['flexes the arm he ain't on] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: [have a snooze boy we'll skipperoo] Jimmy: [take some deep breaths Janis theres so much more to come babe] Janis: [roll up on the cali gaff lads] Jimmy: [that wont be awks at all now that its whatever o clock in the morning] Janis: [when one of them probably stayed home to watch her so she already snuck out to get him, on the shit list big time rn] Jimmy: [I hope whichever parent it is aint doing yoga on the lawn rn] Janis: [lmao now is not the time lads, not sneaking though 'cos fuck you fam is the mood evidently] Jimmy: [it really isnt because it should probably be Ali to show how seriously they are taking the driving escapade so him thinking her mum is fit is really not the mood] Jimmy: [also take a moment to really appreciate HOW MANY cats he would think he was half asleep still cos wtf] Janis: [i vibe] Janis: [when you're so embarrassed by your fam/house/everything tbh like get in my room quick thanks] Jimmy: [at least he wont really fully register it cos actually is sleepy so she can just hustle him through speedily] Janis: [just moving her shit out the way so he can get in] Jimmy: [I cant even think what her room would look like either dont start me] Jimmy: [so much like her nan bye] Janis: [like it was once nice 'cos can afford nice shit but is now wrecked/she's never in there now so any posters would be dated as hell] Jimmy: [I feel like hes gotta notice that even though hes not gonna say anything] Jimmy: [file that away in your head boy] Janis: [for another time, also have a nice tuck-in moment for the throwback] Jimmy: [yaaas! what size is her bed?] Janis: [defs a double 'cos she doesn't have loads of other shit she needs so she can] Jimmy: [good thinking you aint gonna have a homework desk are you babe] Janis: [and the attic is already more sizeable anyway soz lads, like they all could, but for example we said grace don't 'cos she wants her youtube background moment so then there is no room] Jimmy: [and Grace never brings lads home cos she would rather die so priorities] Janis: [surprised she brings her friends tbh, Mia like we coming bitch] Jimmy: [she wouldnt want them there but yeah Mia inviting herself from day 1] Janis: [getting all the tea the snek] Jimmy: [I hate her so much because we all know bitches like that] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [anything I need to know about that Janis is gonna do while hes just sleeping and snuggling?] Janis: [she'd probably do some homework 'cos promised she wouldn't leave obvs, work out 'cos all the tension today but that's only next room and also snuggle] Jimmy: [I was gonna say, use that gym honey its been a DAY for you both] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [we need another skip cos we gotta let this poor boy sleep for a while] Janis: [let her have a sleep too 'cos also hasn't so he can wake up first] Jimmy: [casually like where the fuck am I in that hot sec before he realises shes still right there bitch 😍 at her for a bit boy she wont know] Jimmy: [but actually like snuggling into her more cos you know you should check your phone to see if your siblings are alive but you dont wanna but thanks to Ian it would hurt trying to bury your head cos you arent drunk anymore so youre like ow and thatd probably wake her up so] Janis: [enjoy boy, waking up like 'hey'] Jimmy: [saying it back in the quietest voice ever] Janis: ['you need water?' and going to get up] Jimmy: [when youre like I need painkillers for all these injuries but you arent gonna say that because gotta be hard and northern so say nothing] Janis: [looking back like ?] Jimmy: [a very helpful shrug, oh boy have some water and dont be a knob] Janis: [goes for that water] Jimmy: [does check his phone to make sure Cass and Bobby are alright] Janis: [should've washed his uniform for him so he can look like he's been a presentable boy at work all day, so bringing that back in too] Jimmy: [thats so domestic I nearly screamed then] Janis: [when you so caring on the low and no one knows rn] Jimmy: [he would be DYING because he dont have a mum to care about him and clearly Ian isnt] Janis: [trufacts] Jimmy: [fully conceal dont feel boy so she doesnt know how much that got to you] Janis: [just sitting back down on the bed, looking at him like 🤔 'well, you look less pissed at least'] Jimmy: [he was drinking his water and keeping it casual so gotta do a little choke laugh into it like] Janis: ['if you die when I've gone to all this trouble, I swear' 😏] Jimmy: ['less witnesses here than on the bus, be alright' 😏 oh the double meaning excuse you slag] Janis: ['that's alright then' so flirty] Jimmy: [forever giving LOOKS, oh you two] Janis: [all the looks all the time, also the PJs are on as promised so] Jimmy: [give them a nod now youre properly awake boy] Janis: [little lol] Jimmy: [takes her hand and puts it on his pulse so she can see that hes still alive cos obvs trying to kill him with how cute she looks and is] Janis: [just moving your hands up and down 'cos you wanna but then getting to his face and pausing like 'what you gonna tell the kid, if he asks?'] Jimmy: [looks down at some old burn scar or other and back at her like theres your answer cos can easily say he did it at work by falling over something or whatever] Janis: [nods 'then you're good to go-' adding '-whenever' 'cos blatantly does not want it to be yet tah] Jimmy: ['Is the plan to starve me out or-' obviously stalling because he doesnt wanna go either ha 'Mia'll be well proud' but also when was the last time they ate either of them lbr] Janis: ['could just say you're hungry, dickhead' gentle push back down, like 'what you want?'] Jimmy: ['it'd end the live tweets too quick that' gets comfy and doesnt answer what he wants of course v helpful] Janis: [when you get on top of him like you're about to playfight or be saucy, which is it??? neither, getting up like 'get what you're given then, boy' 😏] Jimmy: 💔 Janis: sure you don't wanna live-tweet it? Jimmy: You want that to be your rep then? Janis: worse things than a heartbreaker, I guess Janis: jussayin, you had your chance to chat to me 🤐 Jimmy: Oi, not if it's my heart under the 🔨 Jimmy: so rude you Janis: so your 🖤 is delicate but your lungs and kidney can take it? Janis: noted Jimmy: swing a 🔨 delicately, do you? Noted Janis: forgot liver, but thought that might be a sensitive topic still Janis: very fucking considerate, I'll have you know Jimmy: might be for you, pisshead Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: now Janis: thanks to my excellent nursing Jimmy: Then an' all Jimmy: but I know how into giving it a go you were, not the only considerate one you Janis: even if we're back to faking it, you were never that good Janis: your 😵🥴 and bambi walk gave you away Jimmy: might be concussion that, you didn't ask, some nurse you Janis: didn't need to, you told me about the scotch of your own freewill Janis: so rude to question my competence Janis: risky, when I'm making you food as well Jimmy: scotch which came after, could've already had the serious head injury Janis: 🙄 considering you've survived your all-day nap Janis: gonna say I was right and you're taking the piss Jimmy: no 🏆 coming your way for a fluke, mate Janis: don't ask for much do ya Janis: don't fancy being your real gf, high maintenance motherfucker Jimmy: Nowt off you, I hate to be disappointed me Jimmy: enough 🎻 playing as is Janis: come up here and help yourself then, twat Jimmy: You're alright Jimmy: 💀👑 is probably hiding in your fridge Janis: sniffing calories Janis: yeah well you can go in the freezer if you don't start behaving Jimmy: beats a cold 🚿 if you're gonna keep being so 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: not if you're concussed Janis: can't risk injuring you further 'til you're all better, can I Jimmy: I have been before, I ain't now Jimmy: You'll have to think of another way to lose your fake nursing qualification Janis: 'cos that's what I wanna do Jimmy: be out of your hands if you ain't 🥇 Janis: and lemme guess, you'll be 🥇 and in charge, yeah? Jimmy: Let me guess, you want Pete to have final say, yeah? Janis: I mean, don't even put the idea in my head if you want this food any time soon Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 can't share that cold 🚿 Jimmy: fuck it, go on into his DMs its been a bit and I can wait one Janis: BUT WHAT DO I SAY?!?! 😱 Jimmy: pic gonna be worth loads more than words, girl Jimmy: he's an artist Janis: 👂 not 👀 but I get your point Janis: and a voice message would be well forward Jimmy: and you're 🙀🥇🙀 obvs Janis: piss off Janis: not sending nudes to every fit boy I see ain't 🙀 it's sane Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you do it then Jimmy: he don't want mine Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and you turning out to be my beard isn't very believable Janis: why not Jimmy: would've picked a different lass if that's what I was after Jimmy: more girly or something Janis: 🖕 Janis: ignoring you now Jimmy: Why 'cause I'm not gay? Bit rude Janis: no because you're rude Jimmy: for not sending unwanted nudes to my straight male coworker? Nah mate you've got that wrong Janis: 😑 Janis: to me Jimmy: What for? Janis: what do you mean what for Jimmy: What do you mean I'm being rude to you? Janis: where to begin Janis: it comes that natural, you don't even notice, eh Jimmy: You notice owt that ain't happening Janis: don't be a gaslighter, that ain't #goals Jimmy: don't be throwing words about that you could save for a # Janis: liked you better when you were asleep Jimmy: I liked you better when I were too Janis: your sense of directions for shit but you can work on where the door is if that's the case Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: are you taking this food or what Jimmy: is it done or what? Janis: you're in such a rush Janis: would you even be done with your shift yet Jimmy: You told me to be in one Janis: I never Jimmy: you said fuck off out so I'm going Janis: I said stop being a dick Jimmy: you said leave Janis: well if you don't like me why would I do things for you and why would you want me to Jimmy: I never said Janis: yeah well you did Jimmy: that were you Janis: you said it back Janis: I was joking Jimmy: because in dreams owt can happen, why wouldn't that be better? Janis: now you're gonna be slick, huh Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: whatever, keats Janis: just stay and eat Janis: in the oven now, don't need go waste Jimmy: only gonna take poison off your 💋 Jules so don't get any other ideas with the 🍽 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'll take your word, no need to 🔪 yourself to get it written out anywhere else Janis: yeah if they reckon last night was a suey attempt they probably will take the knives so I'll be 😇 Jimmy: til I take you somewhere else, any road Jimmy: soon have you back at 😈🥇 Janis: not sure I can take your word on that score yet Janis: but we'll see Jimmy: Why not? Janis: still impatiently waiting for you to take me, ain't I Jimmy: if you're so impatient let's go Janis: gotta eat Jimmy: not me 👻 Janis: take my duties very serious, even if you doubt my ability Jimmy: so serious you Jimmy: that'll be why you were all jokes a bit ago Janis: keep your on your toes Janis: check for any concussion Jimmy: I'll work out with you, stop begging Janis: never keep up, baby Jimmy: That hurts, babe Jimmy: Ian's got nowt on you Janis: give him pointers on the verbal smackdown if I see him Janis: 😒 Jimmy: 🤞 you won't but tah Jimmy: getting really boring having the same row every time, like Janis: yeah, figured I was fucked for an invite back Janis: give him some new material, whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant 'cause he makes himself scarce for a bit after Jimmy: not showing you the door Janis: Ah Janis: almost like remorse, but not quite, sir Jimmy: Don't wanna look at me til I'm healed Jimmy: he'll have that in common with my instagram feed I'm sure Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Prick Jimmy: You ready for your close up then? Jimmy: be your time to shine, this Janis: so kind of you to share your spotlight Janis: 😏 Jimmy: well you know, if the queen of the undead asks I got every bruise decking some dickhead for you or whatever so I won't need it Jimmy: hero worshipped as standard Janis: she ain't very good down on her knees, so the rumor mill says so might wanna reconsider getting 'em 🙏 Jimmy: Teeth falling out during would put anyone off tbf Jimmy: 🤞 she at least swallows them Jimmy: Tooth fairy won't come but the lad might still Jimmy: 💕 Janis: put out a poll in the groupchat Janis: important info Jimmy: Where's Grace's room, if I don't get lost I'll ask her Janis: piss off Jimmy: Come on, tell me Janis: shut up, no Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're disgusting Jimmy: What? Janis: you know what Jimmy: No Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: go on Janis: I don't need to, pretty obvious Janis: ask your sister the same shall I Jimmy: She don't have a #squad for you to get the goss on, soz babes Janis: well I'm not gonna, freak Janis: neither are you Jimmy: What's the fucking matter with you? Janis: what are you on about Jimmy: You heard Janis: and you heard, shut up chatting about my sister Janis: don't see how you don't see that that's weird Jimmy: I weren't chatting about her, just her besties Jimmy: So what's your problem with that? Janis: just quit whilst I've got hot food coming at you or it'll end up in your lap Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [coming through with some kind of safe food she's just shoved in for them] Jimmy: [takes it so he can eat it and shhh] Janis: [omnom] Jimmy: [awkward moody silent eating lol] Janis: [fun times forever] Jimmy: [just finishing speedily and getting ready to go as if I'm gonna let that happen haha] Janis: [looking up as if she's shooketh 'alright?'] Jimmy: [a nod that's clearly incorrect] Janis: [a funny face like obvs not 'come on'] Jimmy: [a look thats like dont tell me to come on] Janis: [😱😬😋 in that order] Jimmy: [leaving but not really cos I still ain't gonna let him get that far obvs] Janis: excuse you Jimmy: can do, if you want Janis: the least you can do is say bye Jimmy: Alright then Jimmy: bye Janis: fuck you, come back here and say it to my face Jimmy: [does come storming back in but doesnt say it, because just looking at her intensely instead] Janis: [😡 face 'say.it.'] Jimmy: ['you' doesnt need to be as up in her grill as he is, but what's new 'why are you being such a massive dickhead?'] Janis: ['me?' outrage lmao 'you. what is your problem right now?'] Jimmy: ['What's yours? I fucking asked you ages ago'] Janis: ['Nothing, you've been an asshole ever since you woke up'] Jimmy: ['No, I've not, you've been having a go at me since your sister got mentioned'] Janis: ['and I told you, it weren't funny'] Jimmy: [annoyed shrug like whatever then] Janis: ['goodbye then' and flinging yourself dramatically on the bed] Jimmy: [does not move] Janis: [is on phone not looking his way so] Janis: what Jimmy: [taking her phone off her #problematic] Janis: [death stare 'WHAT'] Jimmy: [when you can't handle her shouting at you because soft boy 5ever so you're in a shut down like you didnt start this, oh boy so problematic] Janis: ['what' at a normal level like genuine confusion] Jimmy: ['everything's shit' but quietly like the grandma I am would be like ?? 'since I woke up, before then, just....'] Janis: [sighs, rubbing her temples and sitting back down from getting up to shout 'yeah' also quiet 'it is'] Jimmy: [sits next to her but not close to her, a throwback to that bench on the school trip because I'm that slut] Janis: ['I get it, alright' throwing a glance back but not maintaining any eye contact rn 'sorry'] Jimmy: [lying on your back to stare at her ceiling dramatically because you wanna cry and its another throwback while Im on a roll 'I'm a dickhead and I'm sorry'] Janis: ['yeah but so am I, for one; and two, don't make it alright that everything's SO shit, you know' shrugs, shuffles back but doesn't commit to laying down next to him, taking his hand] Jimmy: ['You're not though, you're-' I can't even begin to go there rn boy, sits up but without letting go of her hand and is just looking down at it like 'and you have made it alright, a bit' because she is so nice and he cant even deal Janis: ['a bit' 🤏 smiles a lil and nudges him like, you ain't either though, shrugs 'just what any fucker would do, and they probably wouldn't be a cunt minute you wake up so-'] Jimmy: [raises their linked hands like I can't do the lot stretched out hand thing without letting go, soz because of course he isnt gonna do that. Lowkey crying silently #same because you dont know how to express how nice she is or how much you arent used to/cant handle it] Janis: [when their hands are going back down, tapping his head 'you nerd' then taking his other hand and finally hugging so he can cry in private 'I swear, I wanna make it alright all the time, I wanna be your mate but you don't get it, I ain't a good one, all I'll bring is more hassle, like'] Jimmy: [just the longest hug ever because all the reasons 'you're the best I've had, I get that it sounds fake but it's not'] Janis: [just squeezing him tighter 'cos what to say like same bitch] Jimmy: [such a MOMENT 'you wanna get out of here with me now then?'] Janis: ['yeah' no hesitation 'but you're gonna have to leave and I'm gonna have to sneak out after'] Jimmy: need a 🚬 anyway Jimmy: find me after Janis: okay Jimmy: [leaves but looks back of course cos ILY bitch] Janis: [chasing him down and giving him the most intense kiss of all time, pablo where you at to interrupt] Jimmy: [OMG Mia where you at tho] Janis: [if she was actually over LMAO] Jimmy: [she so could be if we want because always inviting herself] Janis: [amuses me greatly why not] Jimmy: [Grace chasing Mia down but not to kiss her I hope and just like oh ffs because so over Mias obsession with JJ] Janis: [#thereallovestory] Jimmy: [they are everyones otp get over it now Mia] Janis: [least they can bants about how it's getting weird now, egg on your face sweaty Jimmy: [and she cant hang so she cant join them bants soz] Janis: [not soz, when you can start kissing again like it's purely to get them to fuck off but blatantly not] Jimmy: [going for it because you know Mia is too invested when Grace has to drag her away like dont be weird] Janis: [probably try to join in, just loling when they're gone] Jimmy: [you know they are having a bestie domestic, Grace having to be all what is your problem herself because seriously Mia get a grip my love] Janis: [oh the drama, weekly falling out is on, pick a side everyone] Jimmy: [at least JJ are living their best lives rn] Janis: ['why are you making me wanna stay, just a bit' 🤏] Jimmy: [kissing her again because challenge to make her wanna stay a lot is very much accepted] Janis: [just making your way back upstairs really slowly 'cos you're making out the whole way/being pushes backwards] Jimmy: [don't fall over and hurt yourselves either of you because that wouldnt be a mood and this is] Janis: [you got this, on your knees/sat anyway so it fine] Jimmy: [love that you keep having moments on stairs atm] Janis: [mewd] Jimmy: [god bless you both] Janis: [first time yay or nay?] Jimmy: [I say yes because it happened here OG anyway and feels are well high like how would we even stop them lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [we have to steal them missing their stop on the bus from the OG and having to walk for another occasion though cos that was a mood] Janis: [yes easily done tho so we will] Jimmy: [blatantly re-read that hence me and my dementia remember so] Jimmy: [At least Cali cant kick off at her because she did technically stay in] Janis: [gonna say I do not tbh lol] Janis: [if they do just be like HE WAS LOCKED OUT fight me] Jimmy: [we all know Caleb is a soft touch anyway lads] Janis: [trutru also save the lecture she busylol] Jimmy: [he would have that boy over for dinner every night and lowkey adopt him haha] Janis: [he don't know that yet tho just thinking there's another bad egg on the scene] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [the joys of being a parent lmao] Jimmy: [arent you glad you went as hard as you did on the numbers guys] Janis: [regrets, you have 10] Jimmy: [awkward] Janis: [speaking of, how you wanna be lads] Jimmy: [staying forever is how he will wanna be clingy bitch] Janis: [probably need to go feed your siblings though so he could always have a headstart and she'll meet him there] Jimmy: [good point, gotta keep them alive] Janis: [especially if Ian is hiding] Jimmy: [at least he would be at work still so easy to avoid] Janis: [true tea, and if he shows Jimmy can pretend he been working all day anyway] Jimmy: [Twix will be going mental honey, poor bab] Janis: [🤞 cass been holding the fort and walked her] Jimmy: [Im gonna insist she has or Ill be 💔] Jimmy: [also gotta insist that Mia has been posting about them so they gotta be reminded of the fake shit after being the realest ever with each other like] Janis: [a good jump off point] Jimmy: [leave them alone and mind your business bitch literally why are you so bothered] Janis: [never known love, never known life] Janis: how many restraining orders you reckon her da has found loopholes in, like? Janis: [whatever extraness on Mia's socials] Jimmy: Fuck's sake Janis: yeah Janis: she must've left in a strop a while ago 'cos grace is stomping around here solo, like Jimmy: 💔 Janis: thoughts and prayers Jimmy: Hang on, let me start a gofundme to buy poor Gracie a new bestie Jimmy: 🧸 still in my bad books Janis: well, s'a hard sell so Janis: 🍀 to you Jimmy: Oh come on 🥇 optimist at work here Janis: call it clueless Janis: but love that for you Janis: luxury money can't buy Jimmy: Oi, be nice to me Janis: I am Janis: it's endearing Janis: only jealous, like Jimmy: Suspicious Jimmy: my undercover 👮🚔 senses are going Janis: Why? Janis: no case to crack here Janis: open book, me Jimmy: that's what a closed book would say Jimmy: got my 👀 on you, baby Janis: 😏 Janis: that's what a 45 year old perv would say Janis: nothing to hide, keep on 👀 Jimmy: Alright then Janis: you not on the bus? Janis: don't have to hide in the bushes w the binoculars Jimmy: I don't have time to spy on you 🚌👵💕 Jimmy: 👀 for another, tah Janis: 💔 Janis: move so fast Jimmy: told you I could keep up with you in the gym Janis: not gonna be your gym buddy now though 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have a new 🚿 buddy in a bit Jimmy: those non slip surfaces and grab rails 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: it's a date and a party Janis: 😡 Janis: hope she breaks a hip xoxo Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: in good hands, her Janis: be nice to me too Jimmy: If I start Janis: ? Jimmy: I'll want you to get on this bus with me Janis: same Janis: they're being ridiculously OTT Jimmy: bit rude when that's my job Janis: I'll let 'em know Janis: dead curious, like 🙄 Jimmy: tell them I ain't done a shift of my other, raring to go, me Jimmy: such a strong worth ethic Jimmy: work* Janis: you want 'em to like you Janis: 😎 boy for life Jimmy: I want you to know I like you Jimmy: where OTT comes in Janis: I want that too Janis: no 🙄 needed Jimmy: Come back then Janis: I will Janis: when they shut up and give me a second alone Jimmy: How much trouble will you be in? Janis: not enough that I care Janis: unless they plan to actually lock me in my room, they know I won't stick around anyway, pretend to the contrary if they want Jimmy: Did you just quote me? Janis: didn't check if I got it verbatim but Jimmy: 💕 Janis: shut up 💘 Jimmy: you can't tell me to shut up when you're having my words come out of your mouth Janis: you know I say 'em nicer Jimmy: bollocks you love my accent Janis: just like it when you actually talk, babe Jimmy: Do you? Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: What do you wanna hear? Janis: How much you like me Janis: and how you're gonna show me Jimmy: [a voice memo thing going into far too much detail considering he is either on the bus or waiting for one] Janis: oh Janis: that's Janis: remind me why you aren't here again Jimmy: 'cause you're coming to me Jimmy: soon as Janis: yeah Janis: and I can stay Janis: 'til Ian shows again, yeah? Jimmy: even when he does Jimmy: I said, not kicking you out Janis: good Janis: 'cos don't wanna go unless we go together Janis: 💀🤞 Jimmy: 💌 Jimmy: got that in writing now Janis: love a contract, you Jimmy: #middle aged man kinks Janis: 😂 Janis: it's alright, you got stamina, for an old guy Jimmy: reword that tweet a bit before you hit send probably Janis: not gonna blow your cover Janis: bit late for the blow-by-blow account anyway Jimmy: 👍 Janis: in a stunning turn of events, gracie is helping me for some reason so should be able to get out of here sooner than anticipated Jimmy: very funny Janis: funny weird, yeah Janis: already ordered a lift so Jimmy: Hang on, you ain't joking? Janis: unless she is Janis: see in 5 Jimmy: unless she kills you Jimmy: still see you though 👻💕 Janis: counterproductive if that's what they're all claiming to be so upset about Janis: funny though Janis: she'd get shanked so fast in prison Jimmy: Might not, had loads of practice being Mia's bitch Janis: assume that's where she's running herself Jimmy: how romantic Jimmy: tell her not to, we don't need the competition Janis: absolutely not Jimmy: You won't have a convo with her or you won't tolerate them as an IT couple? Janis: 1. I'm not trying to help her ever Janis: 2. they're both in love with me Janis: 3. we're 🥇 and don't ever imply less Jimmy: So forceful you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: sort it out, honestly 😏 Jimmy: if you get to mine before me, you'll have to Jimmy: skipped the honeymoon and went straight to kids and a dog Janis: that's a point Janis: evidently YOUR honeymoon is over 'cos waited for you to get on that bus, like Janis: plan worked 💕🙌 Jimmy: never a bad plan, you Janis: n'awh Janis: don't worry, know how to do oven chips, I can sort it Jimmy: so does Cass, she's 12 not 2 Janis: excuse me, you want me to muck in or nah Jimmy: No, I don't want you to Jimmy: that's why I said you might have to Jimmy: under duress, same as me Janis: well I'm used to that Janis: no worries Jimmy: Ruining the fantasy a bit there, rich girl Janis: you can do better Jimmy: Obviously Janis: and you'll have plenty of time after the bedtime routine Jimmy: Not if our kid has owt to do with it but I'll make time for you Janis: can't stay awake long as I can Janis: 💪 Jimmy: I'll give you the 🏆 when I wake up then Janis: talking 'bout outlasting the kid but if you're 😪 already baby Jimmy: been tired since before I met you Jimmy: worst kept secret in my new boy mystery set Janis: poor boy Janis: I'll help you sleep, trust Jimmy: What's your singing voice like? Fed up of 🎻🎻🎻 me Janis: don't reckon I'm winning any 🏆 but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👌 Janis: how do you do it then Jimmy: What? Janis: the whole having self-control thing Janis: 'cos when I see you I'll just wanna Jimmy: The clue's in the first bit Jimmy: it ain't about me Jimmy: what I wanna do Jimmy: I ain't got no self control, just Jimmy: shit in my way Janis: hmm Janis: makes sense Janis: all your habits, like 🚬 Jimmy: got plenty of self destruction, yeah Jimmy: nowt in the way of that Janis: I'll drink to that Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: There's no scotch but you can have owt else that he or I've not Janis: such a good host Jimmy: Do you have 🚬? Janis: nah but I'll go shop Janis: give you chance to get here Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: How do you do this? Janis: ? Jimmy: it's the longest 🚌 ride I've ever been on 😱😱 Jimmy: you really live in the middle of nowt, girl Janis: you were warned Janis: hoping it'll keep us in, hasn't really worked Jimmy: actually gonna have to move you in Jimmy: don't even like you it's just jealousy that you get to spend so much time with hot drivers like this bloke Jimmy: and the 👵👴 on board every time Janis: honestly, prime hunting ground for you Janis: it's probably trevor Janis: be more jealous, I know 'em all by name Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Why you trying to make me get banned for 🥊? Jimmy: even if I won't need to visit you here 💀👑 and  the rest of the #squad will want me to show up Janis: 1. you're jealous of me for seeing them, not the other way 'round, remember Janis: 2. just really want an excuse to steal another car Janis: 3. gonna make a habit of giving them what they want? Jimmy: 1. that's obvs all a blur 'cause I'm too fuming to think clearly now Jimmy: 2. I didn't steal the 1st one so I don't reckon you can say another Jimmy: 3. Depends Janis: 1. Me too now, see 3 Janis: 2. you don't know how far I got, pisshead Janis: 3. 😒 Jimmy: What's that face for? Jimmy: You dunno what it depends on yet, mardy Janis: I know I don't like it either way Janis: but fine, what? Jimmy: I was just Jimmy: but nah it's alright, you don't wanna know Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😒😒 Janis: [imagine she's done them huge like on facebook] Janis: well tell me Jimmy: If they still want me to break up with you, I might Jimmy: to cut out all the fake shit between us Jimmy: that's what I were thinking Janis: who told you you were allowed to be so Jimmy: ? Janis: idk the right word Janis: cute just sounds fake Jimmy: I know what you mean Janis: alright, bighead 😏 Jimmy: Piss off, I meant about sounding fake Jimmy: that's why I reckon breaking up and just seeing each other when we want, how we want, is the best plan Janis: makes sense Janis: anything we were gonna achieve with it, we have by now so Janis: can just ghost 'em, like Janis: not like we have to make an annoucement, they'll do the rest themselves Jimmy: school might be weird, being exes, that's the only thing Janis: yeah Janis: not really an alternative though, is there? Jimmy: Be easier to fake 💔 than 💕 probably Jimmy: not like we have every lesson together anyway Janis: and school is shit anyway so Jimmy: If you want a day off from pretending to hate me, we'll skip Janis: why do I need to hate you Jimmy: We were so in love and now we ain't #duh Jimmy: every dickhead knows you can't be friends with your ex Jimmy: unless you want them to think you're a lesbian again, like Janis: if it's the only option we've got then it is Jimmy: You don't reckon it's a good one? Janis: nah Janis: but there ain't a good one Janis: not your fault, like Jimmy: Fake 💔 or fake 💕 then? Janis: 💔 why not Janis: may as well, change of scenery Jimmy: I get it 😒 is easier than 😍 for me an' all Janis: 👌 Jimmy: sorted then Janis: yep Jimmy: [shows her a doodle he's done of them while he's stuck on this bus like okay boy your 😍 are showing here] Janis: you still got time to post that or what Jimmy: Do I? Janis: your plan Jimmy: I'm not gonna 💔 til you wanna though Janis: what are we waiting for Jimmy: Alright I'll delete now Janis: 👋 Jimmy: Owt you want off my phone you can sort in a bit Janis: don't need to Jimmy: bit rude Janis: why Jimmy: Oi, a 🥇 photographer, me Janis: don't actually need a portfolio Janis: tah Jimmy: Fine Janis: don't fancy it, posting the 🚬 through your letterbox ok Jimmy: No, there's nowt okay about that Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: what are you Janis: something's come up Jimmy: What has? Janis: does it matter? Janis: just need to go Jimmy: Why wouldn't that matter? Janis: don't be awkward Jimmy: you Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: Nothing Janis: but this plan won't just happen by itself either Janis: things I need to sort now Jimmy: Not what you said before Jimmy: you said we didn't have to do nowt Jimmy: that they'd work it out Janis: about figuring it out Janis: I'm talking about the fallout Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: well do you really wanna mope around and pretend to be 💔 Janis: actual 💔 Janis: that's the rep you want? think about it Janis: just means more faking, only with other people Jimmy: I'm not gonna get another fake girlfriend if that's what you're saying Janis: not saying you repeat this scheme Janis: but gotta be seen to be moving on, yeah Jimmy: No Janis: alright for you, isn't it Janis: who do you think they'll reckon dumped who Jimmy: You can dump me, I don't care what they think Janis: still fake, ain't it Janis: whatever way we play it Jimmy: Yeah but Jimmy: we can be real with each other Janis: I fucking hate it Janis: that it matters Jimmy: That's why I'm trying to give us a chance to start over Jimmy: Alright, we might have to give them one last show but after that whenever I see you or say owt it's real Janis: Is it though Jimmy: Why wouldn't it be? Janis: if you're trying to not see me again for real, just do that Janis: don't headfuck me Jimmy: You're the one who has come all this way to decide you don't fancy it Janis: it's you that keeps talking about hating and avoiding and all that shit Janis: how am I meant to take that Jimmy: If you don't fancy me anymore because fucking me weren't like you thought it were gonna be then alright Jimmy: but don't talk bollocks Jimmy: You know I wanna see you Janis: No Janis: it isn't that Janis: but no, I don't know that either Janis: feel like I don't know fuck all these days Jimmy: Janis Jimmy: I didn't wanna go, you have to know that, you were there Jimmy: and I wouldn't bring you here where I don't wanna fucking be if I didn't REALLY want to see you Janis: I'm Janis: stupid Janis: sorry Janis: take your pick Jimmy: just Jimmy: come back Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: it does if I've made it weirder than I already felt Jimmy: what can be weirder than not being fake with your fake girlfriend? Jimmy: I don't care, alright Janis: you thought it was weird Jimmy: What? No Jimmy: I mean actually telling you how I feel is weird Janis: oh Janis: well, agreed Jimmy: Agreeing is weird an' all, isn't it? Janis: can't take the other side and pretend this is standard for me, soz Jimmy: be weirder if it were Jimmy: You reckon I've got some fucked habits but that'd be Janis: don't be mad 'cos you're my 5th fake boyfriend, alright Janis: judgey Jimmy: That ain't funny or cute Jimmy: Shut up Janis: obviously not Janis: you approached me Janis: not doing that kinda suggestability voodoo Jimmy: OMG 🤐 Janis: yeah, think on Janis: was a pretty out of character thing to do, no? Jimmy: Paddy girls are pretty full on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Deny it Jimmy: there's nowt you can say Janis: not lumping myself in with that lot Janis: and you Jimmy: neither were I Jimmy: never have done Janis: ❄ Janis: I remember Jimmy: 👍 Janis: such a dick, you were Jimmy: Nah, I am Jimmy: no need to past tense it Janis: just specifying the time Jimmy: Alright, so don't forget to add I will be such a dick too then Jimmy: for the future Janis: if I'm about, I'll be sure to let you know Jimmy: 💔 you won't be able to @ me Jimmy: but wherever Ian drags us next somebody'll say it to my face, no doubt Janis: of course, you are a dick, after-all Jimmy: and yet still properly sought after Jimmy: a brainer lad would've planned that Janis: enough room for a proper beefy 🧠 in that massive head Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 that it's empty then Jimmy: well nearly Janis: poor boy Jimmy: I'll live, babe Jimmy: 🧟💕 Janis: now it's my turn to be 💔 Jimmy: Go on and have a 🎻 too then Jimmy: might as well Janis: can't even be 😍 over how generous you are Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos you said from now on we're only saying real things Jimmy: and you shot down the 💡 in 🔥 Janis: no I didn't Janis: you didn't explain properly Jimmy: You don't wanna say real things to me Janis: where'd you get that idea from Jimmy: call it 👮🚔 senses Jimmy: or that you're well quick to not understand what I've said 'cause like I said 😒 is easier Janis: or maybe it's a weird situation that's hard to understand Janis: which we agreed on Janis: if 😒 was easier I would've thought it was the best idea ever Jimmy: Alright Janis: it ain't though Janis: so what are you saying Jimmy: nowt Janis: fuck off Janis: you reckon I can't handle real then Jimmy: You did, I were there Janis: so why are you saying I don't want it then Jimmy: No 🧠 Janis: ugh Janis: alright Jimmy: It just feels like Jimmy: you don't want any of this now Janis: that's not true Janis: why do you Janis: nah Jimmy: Go on Janis: it's Janis: like why would I have freaked out back there if I didn't want it Janis: when I thought you didn't Janis: not keeping you around as a sure thing when I don't give a fuck, am I Jimmy: I can't say how long I'll be around here anyway, you either so Jimmy: don't worry about it Jimmy: I'm just being Janis: don't mean we can't now Janis: does it Janis: every fucker else does, not like they have any more guarantee Jimmy: Not a habit of mine to leave 💔 lasses behind me Janis: behave Jimmy: I don't want to, had to for ages when you were only giving me fake 💕 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me that Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah but the 💔 has always been fake, what I'm saying Janis: don't need to think about that Jimmy: Good 'cause as far as 💭 I can do better Janis: go on then Jimmy: [the most 🔥 sext of all time obvs] Janis: can I come back Janis: please Jimmy: I said Jimmy: nowt's changed Janis: just checking Jimmy: where are you? Janis: not far Janis: well a bit but not out of town far Jimmy: 🏃? Janis: if that's you, then no, think of your lungs Jimmy: not the bit of me I'm thinking with and I'm only thinking of you, not me but alright Jimmy: if you can't handle another race Janis: now I'm with ya Janis: 'course I'M gonna run Janis: but the incentive is appreciated Jimmy: I'll appreciate you better than that Janis: you better Janis: i've missed you Jimmy: 🥇 baby, you'll see Jimmy: it feels like ages since I left Jimmy: it's been ages but you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: like actual time as passed and not a day Janis: it's always been a bit like that with you Janis: weird Jimmy: but you were still always gone before I was ready for you to be Jimmy: weirder Janis: felt it too Janis: weirdest Jimmy: I Janis: yeah? Jimmy: just Jimmy: it is a mess but Jimmy: I'm glad I did ask you Jimmy: nowt else could've happened if not Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: You reckon I'm wrong? Jimmy: somehow don't picture you hanging round the CG like your twin Jimmy: obviously I could have caught you in the gym 🏆💪 but unlikely you'd be chatty then, sore loser you are Janis: ha x2 Janis: 😏 Janis: we do go to the same school, you know Jimmy: Were you gonna offer to help me with my homework or what? Janis: not porn Janis: and I'm not some bitch with pigtails and a plaid mini skirt, like Jimmy: not with that attitude Janis: 😂 Jimmy: and I've seen you in your uniform, like Jimmy: not that far off Janis: you're such an idiot Janis: but you did know then, that's good Jimmy: Know what, that you're really fit? Obviously Janis: that we were at the same school before the fateful trip Jimmy: I get that I hide them well but I've got 👀 Jimmy: I saw you, like I said Janis: and obviously I couldn't miss the welcome party so Janis: 👀 likewise Jimmy: Am I ever gonna see you today or did you get lost? Janis: I'm on my way Janis: I'm fast, works in and out of your favour, I'm afraid Janis: depends which way I'm 🏃 Jimmy: Tah for not being well fast at everything then Jimmy: be over before I did my best tricks Jimmy: and you'd be asleep like half that bus were Janis: 💔 get used to not having an audience fast Janis: and benefits of not being a lad, just go again Jimmy: can't if you're 💀💀💀 Jimmy: get me arrested that Janis: promises promises Jimmy: which you know you can hold me to Jimmy: unless your memory loss is back Janis: no but Janis: stop distracting me if you want me to get there any time soon Jimmy: Baby, I've seen you multitask Jimmy: come on Jimmy: can do so many things at once you Janis: I wanna save it for you Janis: you turned me on so it's yours Jimmy: I'm going nowhere yet but the kids and dog are Jimmy: this whole house is yours, just need to get to it Janis: serious? Jimmy: Deadly, as usual Janis: Good thing I'm only a couple streets away then Janis: hold on Jimmy: Surviving somehow Janis: 'cos you can't 💀💀💀 without me Jimmy: keep my promises, yeah, that kind of dickhead Janis: I like that kind of dickhead Jimmy: Shakespeare's got nowt on you, girl Jimmy: you better only be a couple of streets away Jimmy: don't be saying shit like that to me if I can't respond immediately Janis: [rings doorbell] Jimmy: [thank god he sent everyone away because we know what kind of hello she's getting] Janis: [lol if someone else answered that would've been very awkward for us all] Jimmy: [likewise if Twix got there before him] Janis: [distracted with food probably] Jimmy: [it's alright she can be gone too on a walk or wherever] Janis: [my boo say everyone out] Jimmy: [give them their privacy please they've had enough audiences]

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 1: The Note Dawdling Tension Plays (Part 2)

BRIGHT: The next bit of narration continues to establish John’s character: he has no idea what to call the red arm on the mailbox, and doesn’t care. We also learn that much like many teenagers, he doesn’t want to spend hours with his Dad. The author uses this opportunity to drop in a reference to the title.

The next page has a loading screen! I think this is the first interactive page in the comic. (For a certain value of interactive - you can mouseover the vertical lines of the games in the CD rack, and the cover of the game will pop up. Some of these link you to other works by Hussie.)

CHEL: Unfortunately, we then go into sylladex shenanigans AGAIN. Mercifully, this time it’s brief. We’ll let this one go, but I’ve got one eye on you, Huss.

TG messages John again, making reference to “TT”, who is confirmed female and alleged to be “mackin on” TG, and to his “bro” who “basically knows everything and is awesome”. How sincere he is in either of those remains to be seen. Finally, John actually gets told how to use his sylladex. Maybe the shenanigans will stop now… Anyway, he selects hammers for his strife specibus, or his weapon of choice, and the sylladex is confirmed able to hold things which would be too big to carry normally, such as Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, a book roughly as big as John is. At least the stupid sylladex actually has some practical use - I’m sure John’s as happy as I am to know that!

Next we see the review which put TG off; GameBro magazine explains “Why the ‘Game of the Year’ or whatever isn’t as good as some other stuff I like that’s better”. As it turns out once you get past the Totally Radical verbiage, the reviewer didn’t even play it. Something suspect’s definitely going on if it’s so hyped up on so little information… erm, is it just me or is the term “Brotel Rwanda” rather tacky? I don’t know if that’s worth a point, the point of the joke could be that the game reviewer is an idiot…

FAILURE ARTIST: I’d have that squarely as a point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 1

CHEL: Okay, then, here’s our fourth count. Title is a reference to a line later in the comic, and I think the point of the count is pretty obvious. Mileage may vary, all works would get at least a couple points in this, and I don’t think it’s a big problem unless/until it starts to climb out of proportion. Not gonna use a WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM count because the reviewer, as seen in the pic, is supposed to be a white guy.

Regarding the rest of the review, I did consider whether this falls under the heading of HNTWAN’s “I, Youngster” (using slang or references from one’s own youth to write a contemporary younger person), but I’d say no, because it’s supposed to sound ridiculous. Same with John’s movies; his taste is supposed to be bad, I don’t think Hussie actually thinks kids in 2009 still all liked bad movies from before they were born. That, and Hussie’s word choices are frankly like nothing I’ve ever seen anywhere else in any time period.

We shall move on, as so is the comic. Forty-seven pages into the comic, the main character finally leaves his bedroom. Wow. Things are happening at breakneck speed here.

TIER: Truly the pace strides forward like a Colossus through Lilliput.

GET ON WITH IT!: 2

CHEL: Though the silly Groucho Marx disguise he puts on is cute.

BRIGHT: Of course, since it would be interesting to see what’s in the mailbox (or at least would move the plot along a bit), John spends the next few pages examining his home.

I’m torn about this. On the one hand, it does a bit more fleshing out of John and his home life, which is more interesting than endless sylladex shenanigans, and the narration is entertaining. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that on my first read through I clicked through all of it, trying to get to something happening. It holds up better on the re-read to me.

Well, something does happen, John knocks over the urn containing his grandmother’s ashes and opens a box from his father which holds a full-sized harlequin doll. Again, how much this appeals depends on what you think of ‘loveable dork’ characters fumbling around.

Then we return briefly to John’s bedroom, where we meet the third character of this webcomic, tentacleTherapist, or the alluded-to TT. The conversation isn’t very long, but it does give a good sense of what TT is like.

CHEL: Specifically, prone to sarcasm and sesquipedalian loquaciousness. Also to inappropriate jokes. An invocation of the hentai trope "tentacle rape" (read her handle quickly) is a fairly uncomfortable username for a child to have.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 2

Anyway, it seems she knows John very well - she’s able to guess he’s wearing “one of your disguises” with no clue in his messages, so evidently he does this a lot. She’s probably the smartest character introduced so far, and she and John seem to have a good relationship.

Now, again, this was originally a reader-driven forum game, but when it was collated into a webcomic, it might have been better to have the conversation with TT moved to before John left the room, so we’re not going back and forth unnecessarily. One journey through the house is enough, I’d say. Another GET ON WITH IT point, or does this come under the heading of the second point still? I’ll be nice and not count it, since he was going back to fetch an item and not just randomly wandering.

We definitely get more points from the text in Colonel Sassacre’s joke book:

And what of that tawny gent who puts his lackadaisical lean near the sarsaparilla font? You’ll have that listless octoroon find the spring in his step just yet! CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 3 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 2

The point of these lines is that the text is outdated and racist, not that it should be emulated, but the “outdated” point was more than got across by the language used already. And it would seem fairly weird for a person who wasn’t white to read a line like that and not comment on it - okay, maybe John’s read it before and is used to it, but the narrator ought to point that out if it had ever bothered him.

FAILURE ARTIST: Colonel Sassacre is basically Mark Twain with a party hat photoshopped on to him. Mark Twain’s most famous work, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, has gotten into trouble in recent years because of the name of one of the characters: [N-word] Jim. The novel is progressive for its time but it hasn’t aged well. I’m guessing Colonel Sassacre’s unnecessary racism is a nod to that controversy.

CHEL: Get used to Photoshopped depictions of real people, too.

BRIGHT: John ventures out into the house again, ostensibly to retrieve the game but really to stick his fake arms to the harlequin doll and nose around his father’s study. Should the comment about the peanut allergy count towards ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? In context with the can of peanuts I think there’s meant to be a joke here…

There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon. A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.

CHEL: That line? Yeah, it's a reference to the snake nut can prank item - have you seen those on cartoons, where someone offers canned snacks and a spring-loaded toy snake pops out? A dark joke, sure, but my sense of humour tends to run that way and I loled. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS instead, possibly? I don’t know if people with life-threatening allergies would be offended by this - the joke isn’t that they’re weak or stupid or anything, the joke is the play on the reader’s expectations. I wouldn’t mind it if I had a peanut allergy, but as I said, my sense of humour is pretty dark.

FAILURE ARTIST: I feel like if a certain other parent we meet later did that people would take it as abusive.

CHEL: My assumption was that John’s dad didn’t actually mean to give him food that would kill him, that was just an unfortunate way of finding out he was allergic, but in this comic, who the fuck knows?... Come to think of it, maybe he did mean to. Peanut allergies run in families and it’s established much later on that one of the relatives involved (it gets complicated) also has a deadly peanut allergy, so it would seem logical that Dad would also have one and thus wouldn’t have them around to eat himself. Even if he did, that’s a bad move with an allergic person in the house. Maybe it is worth an ARE YOU TRYING point, then? Maybe this is just overanalysing, but then overanalysing is the whole point of this exercise, so there it goes!

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 1

For clarification of the listed counts, this isn’t going under CALL CPA PLEASE because that one’s for when the kids do something disturbing themselves. We’ll show you what we mean when it comes up. We'll be nice and let Rose have an inappropriate username, that's not out of the ordinary for kids that age.

And speaking of said points, what about Dad giving John at least four birthday cakes? (He has two untouched ones in his room at the point he says he’s been eating cake all day, and Dad soon tries to give him yet another one.) That sounds cool from a thirteen-year-old’s point of view, but it kinda comes across as if Dad’s trying to feed him to death, and intentionally making kids horribly unhealthy can be a form of abuse. Or possibly to make up for something awful he knows about… Is the latter further evidence for the “guardians know about what’s coming” theory? Dad’s coddling John because he knows horrible things are going to happen? Hell, were the peanuts an attempted mercy kill, if we wanna get really tinfoil hat about it?

All that’s for later, though. Meantime, we get our first page with sound, as John plays “Showtime”, a nifty little piano tune.

"Homestuck // Showtime (Piano Refrain) // Piano" (Watch on YouTube)

The other kids get their own individual little musical parts too, later on, which merge to form one full piece.

FAILURE ARTIST: Music is a big draw in Homestuck. Not just these four main characters but pretty much every character has their own leitmotif.

[okskz]

So I was rereading your stories and I LOLed at that one update where Mia gets a nose ring and Changbing just blurted out that she looked hot 😂

omg i loved that post lmao

[oliviaswriting]

A Modern Retelling of Howl by Allen Ginsberg Part One

I

I saw the softest hearts of my grade roughened by pressure flashing        shaking manic, huddled in the blighted parking lot between bureaucracy itching for        thrumming cigarettes, straight-a students carving flesh from bone for systemic miracles from        the screwed god in the freedom of classrooms, who kneeled teeth dwindling and throats fucked raw blinded by the hollowed       porcelain bowl, filled the room and their very human fingers with the       smell of regurgitated breakfast, who chain-smoking their own splintered ribcages ruminated on the inherent       possessiveness of very adult and very teacher and very real hands on       shoulders or claiming eyes focused on developing breasts, who whispered fuck as an act of quiet rebellion, formed Revolution on the ways       they watched classmates and the school crumble beneath them, who scratched off assaulter’s gargantuan body using purposely dulled       nails, purgatory penetrating haze of marijuana smoke, quiet       rap music, poem wreckages, who fist fought walls in last week’s dirty laundry found Enlightenment by       pissing in the advancement of the new buildings, cock out territory       marking territory, who waited in the designated weed waiting place, fingers tapping out       apprehensive melodies for best friends who aren’t coming back, who waged a war against the machine of the hills cannibalistic & flowering       omnivore rage’s uterus, who got smashed off parent’s liquor and molotov’s cocktails swayed their       grinding bodies against someone else’s mom jeans until the ache       of muscles and spinning worlds reminded them of the consequences       of frugal teenage reality, chugged rubbing alcohol from the drawers that were supposed to be       locked between scenes of a play in middle of being written actors       melodramatic fragments of the director’s regulated Artistic       Freedom, open roads & hitchhikers of temporarily permanent habitants the twisting       cobblestone path, trees menacing shadow puppets, talked about ways         to run away on the way back to school, played russian spy against the ever watching Big Brother of the rotating         cameras put up posters with the head of school saying we care       about you like a campaign promise, who carved messages to god in all too pliant skin, raving ruining madness       masked by large & sometimes ominous tree outside the library, captured       bees by using other bees’ dead bodies, apocalyptic light filtered       out by gardener’s design of Eden, stringy unwashed hair falling out in pious clumps painted shower walls       as new aged hipsters gossiped over their non fat soy lattes about the       fucking Patriarchy, who midnight meandered, walking past a noticeable political figure’s make       shift house blunt in one hand gasoline drenched fingers in the other       mumbling fragments of a found Atlantis, who slouched from behind prison bars called ‘for your own good’, homework       lying untouched as they sank further into sweet sweet isolation, who staged sit ins beneath their unwashed and sweat soaked hand me         down sheets lying in their own food crumbs dust dirt filth and       shit cursing the benevolent gods, who checked Stanford’s acceptance rate on their overloaded computers daily       see if they’re good enough to be accepted, talks of Future Future       Future, who professed obscenities the entire school year long a new person in       their vendetta with every thrashing breath,       an abandoned orphanage of vilified teenage boys tying rope around       a school project ceiling fan setting up the recently painted       chair just in alignment clobbering pummeling exorcizing striking noses and cheek bones and       stomachs and red cats cradle and retaliation of parents and failing       grades and let down families, who stood Safeway frozen for hours debating popcorn classmates         reactions temporality of life, panic attacks in bathroom stalls       clawed out of their skin and then went to class still lumps of       bloody & exposed flesh who shouted panicked prayers from the bottom of pill bottles saw the school       on fire and teachers burning read their expellment email with baited       breath until the words were bruised & bloody, who collected class As to hide their bruised bodies, shovel and suffocating       dirt numb looked down at the corpse, screamed obscenities to       tripping gods joined the body in the dirt pleading parents to throw       the dirt themselves, instead watched the Buildings wrench shovels       from sobbing hands and start burying, who carried knives pressed against the soft of stoner’s anathematized bellies       puncture wound freckles, metallic cottages painted the color of students nos swaying in manufactured       wind, collapsing roofs & prison walls & floor & concrete &       tables & nostrils, who broke bookshelves as an act of rebellion against the collapse of the       old Athenian, threw chairs, threw bricks, threw whiteboards, threw       students who crawled out Phoenix ash covered body from the bones of chairs &       bricks & whiteboards & students crowing tales of how they       almost died who whispered a shouting declaration to the neverending teenage angst of       cultural suicide, who drank coffee by the gallon sat in classes refusing to share poisoned       ambrosia eye twitching fingers on homework triggers money into       computer screens casual death of millions talked about their kills using       holy words and rape jokes, who foreplayed while driving fucking rhythmic beats with the windows rolled       down and knowing anyone could look in and see them come undone to       the bumbling sound of a breaking car over unpaved roads,   who clawed defiance in the form welting possession into sweetheart’s back       raw & exposing nail marks, they bled like humans too, special       gluten-free noodles with that one sauce and that one side from that       one restaurant thirty minutes away, who matched curves and angles to body types moaning prayers to lesbian me       and lesbian you they laughed sanctified and carried condoms in their bags       for those who need it, were one of the boys, flannel clad pedestrian       touched without permission,   who LOLed and WTFed and OMGed their way their way through the unwanted       unneeded unappreciated change,       the drug of choice was billowing clouds of marijuana that wrapped tendrils        around throbbing throats or the recently destigmatized nicotine shakes                declared exorcism,   and vaping gaping bruising vocal chords dysfunctional against school system       machinery, ambulance declared a necessary act of evil, banishment                    declared a necessary act of evil, evil declared a necessary act of evil,      with the destruction of poetic musings from the off beat thrumming of                 lackluster hearts declared acts of lawful mutiny.

[ashfordlivetalk]

A journalist broadcaster’s dream happened today. The targeted person like sitting in an on-sue interview tossed his cup of coffee at the Broadcaster’s camera avoiding the inquiry, questions and the on-air display of his views. Every journalist who is a professional want to experience that as an example of hard-nose journalism that goes AFTER their topics and subjects and the people, the crimes along with life newsworthy events.

The incident occurred to Terry Dwayne Ashford as a targeted journalist by a downlow community who was told to follow the journalist to carry out indecencies, social injustices and crimes. As professionalism would have it, the renowned journalist broadcast of DatGEETV, DaTGuY Television, BlabberNEWS Magazine and DaTGuY Radio said, “Make my day”. And thus came the coffee he was using to get the Hispanic man who had blocked airing up the front driver side tire of the gas station’s air pump.

Reported as a professional stand-out moment for Terry Dwayne Ashford in journalism and streetNOW News reporting on crime - this incident goes down as a profound professional moment showing the formidable InDaCarSeat DaTGuY journalistic prowess and power of Terry Dwayne Ashford. Good at journalism however does not berate his capability as just as good professional proposal project manager which uses these journalistic skills.

The video of the bike riding man who rushed to the gas station to get the Hispanic man shows on YouTube. For your reference, a person like even the disguised gay man friend named Shongo would have resulted in the same in the home with the journalist.

The exact same would have happened and there would have met not a wife but a man who would have KILLED or being killed- resulting in a homicide. How do I know - cuz every black man who has been in that position with Terry Dwayne Ashford - tried the exact same thing as he had no clue thinking the incident was isolated and wouldn’t happen again. William Nolen tried. Herb Hunt tried. Al Scott tried. Every black man that InDaCarSeat DaTGuY has allowed in his presence tried to strike the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY as they would have a woman. And found that WOE back the shit up - he is not a woman. Their blows were found to have been greater. And they didn’t try it again. Every last one in my memory and every last one in my sister’s lives with black men in their presence. Wow. In hindsight.

As all is aware of the knife and the pool table, then another at the same pool table with a wine bottle, and the pistol 🔫 to the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY’s head in Atlanta, and even shot and missed-we have confirmation that every last black man that was dated in innocence and belief not knowing they all were a GAY GANG, tried to strike or kill Terry Dwayne Ashford. When in a relationship one think that is love. One chased behind me in a speeding car after telling me I couldn’t leave. When I left he tried to crash into the car. At the time I was like “Damn BITCH was the sex that good?” And I thought “okay he just in love”. In hindsight now - fuck no it was all black men. That always happened after I let them top me- They went goddamn crazy.

In hindsight it wasn’t love it was control and seeing a property.

Well I guess I do understand now - learning that they have been forced to whites. See when you are resorted to having something you don’t want - just like I would when you get that you do want - you actually go nuts. Most want a black man-just like me-and went they got one they went crazy trying to keep’em. See the difference in topping flabby button when you really want a man - is in the hardness of the man. The softness we get from women. But when we want a man - we want the man hardness and challenge and fun man-time. Running around thinking you competing with a woman - is NOT what a man does.

Now we close the reporting of the infamous upcoming “LaughLOUD” column topic and the fact that streetNOW News on Crime with InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford has proven once again the Muslim Tactics of Hit Sneak-tip first in lieu of the Broadcast called “Like My Brown Skin” on October 2nd. On the morning of October 3rd the black man that followed behind InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, stating “Interest” or even “Like” In illiterate formation was a brown skin Muslim man working in the reported scam from days ago.

The black male poorest Muslim appeared in a utilization tool by Washington DC police 👮‍♀️ attack protocols on the progressive blacks which the Police for any reason wants to extort. And that gives the world its explanation of the alleged Rick Ross Swapping and Mimicking schemes. The man in the video uploaded to YouTube appears as a black Male Muslim who tossed coffee ☕️ at the camera, captured in motion of stalking on a bike; captured followed to get a Non-English Speaking Latinos for morning sex; Pinpointed to the October 2nd alleged MPD scheme of the reported “Brown Skin” Attack Plan in Washington DC. In closing that incident, the black Muslim was the description of the driver who crashed the victim’s vehicle; was also the description of the S.O.M.E. Employee; was the description of the family dollar store employee who rushed out from the back office in a mimed mode of glasses and new hairdo as anything other than a MUSLIM upon Terry Dwayne Ashford entering that store early evening approximately five o’clock and has been reported altering her actions in her duty of family dollar; Terry Dwayne Ashford refused that register days before seeing the scam but this day the scam planted a skinny braided haired Gay Guy who went specifically to that black Muslim female’s cash counter as she came OUT appearing to specifically with a set target 🎯 of some goal- a gay male sissy with braids rushed to the register that appeared to have been designed for a hidden plot which InDaCarSeat DaTGuY would NOT know as something would be done from behind the scenes using a fraud person; and lastly it was yet another Muslim brown skin as the description of younger male standing and waiting in the dark outside as the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Ashford shopped in CVS on GA Avenue the night of October 3rd. That Muslim male signaled sex at Terry Dwayne Ashford leaving the store. LoLing SICKOs. LoLing.

LoLing- make us laugh or we gonna make ourselves laugh at you.

The journalist broadcaster’s dream unfolded using the scheme of a Muslim trying to attack the journalist broadcaster: who goes by no other name other than the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, Terry Dwayne Ashford. He is an “Ashford” that the illiteracy of the black Muslims fraudulently pretends their “Interest” or their “Favor” for the Ashfords. And there we have the “Davis’s” in the mimicking schemes of the Ashford’s saying that “They like us!” So we have Ruth B. Marrying into the victims family, following stalking and miming while eavesdropping using a police scanner, and as the Muslim in the Family Dollar store female showed on October 3rd, appeared to be a Christian as Ruth B. Changed her last name - all through the Mocking Wilma Greenwood Ashford. Yes - while following and stalking and trying to steal from her as replicated in a Rick Ross Scheme: Ruth B. who’s daughter stalked Terry Dwayne Ashford in the 11th grade also said: “I like her” in reference to Wilma Greenwood Ashford, referenced as “Like” but actions were in defense instead of being caught. Same as Jon Caudle all low class MUSLIMs-riding the coat-tails of Ashfords wanting to be confused as the ones. LoLing making journalists and the world laugh. Now George Davis is trying to be presumed as Terry Dwayne Ashford, if all goes according to scheme journalism patterns. The same George Davis that is a lot older and tried to be like the journalist’s brother Perry, instead. George Davis is now mocking a different Ashford! Terry instead of Perry.

And that George Mocking comes after his nephew named also Terry tried and failed, after his other Davis nephew Darrell Audrey tried failed and saw his grave, after his Niece Jennifer Tried and failed mocking: and after his other niece Barbara tried and failed getting caught up in Dick in the Woods, after the Officer Davis tried and failed in a DC Officer attempt, and now the one Davis that has followed my brother Perry: now swaps and follow Terry Dwayne Ashford- allllllll my dear people, seeking someone to be swapped in reputation better than theirs in a Rick Ross Scheme alleged to have swapped out originals for the replicated individuals for the fame.

The Rick Ross Scheme was said to have swapped the Rick Ross known publicly with the real Rick Ross born with that name who was locked away in prison. The real Rick Ross is said to be incarcerated inside of a jail hidden as another man took his name and swapped personality. And there you have Ruth B. Changing her name to “Christmas” as Wilma Greenwood Ashford is Christian. LoLing. Journalist findings would support notion that the “Davis’s” are frauds mocking and mimicking an Ashford and going so far as to marry within the Ashford Bloodline trying to mix and merge with the Ashford, as Wilma Greenwood Ashford defied her daughter intertwining with her past husband Thomas Davis. Mom said NO do not bring that scum into our house. Carolyn got mad and married him and took the job offered in bribe by the Davis and that sparked Ruth B to sit and mock her mom, Wilma Greenwood Ashford. Carolyn was given Ruth B’s job so Ruth B could sit home and mock her mother Wilma Greenwood Ashford- caught by Terry Dwayne Ashford listening in on Wilma Greenwood Ashford’s house from the Davis house in Memphis.

Ruth B (Davis) marrying into Wilma’s Newson Family and changing her name to “Christmas”;who is Wilma Greenwood Ashford’s Mocker ( is) the Sister of George Davis, who now swaps to Mock Terry Dwayne Ashford. But George’s mocking of Younger Terry Dwayne Ashford, comes after George failing to successfully mock Terry’s brother named Perry. Tell me that isn’t laughable. LoLing. And that mocking choice by yet another Davis, George this time, was greed: was seeking to get a Rick Ross style incarceration with the recipient receiving fame as the stalkers, and that was in trying to help policemen frame an “Ashford” in specific Wilma Greenwood Ashford, and as failed again we have Officer Davis failed to harass or frame Terry Dwayne Ashford, the journalist broadcaster in Washington DC. Instead got caught for the entire Davis clan on air through YouTube videos via DatGEETV under the journalist broadcaster InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, Terry Dwayne Ashford’s direction.

For everyone! The Davis’s was said to have been the one family who had targeted Ashford aimed to marry within the Ashford’s family. First this Rick Ross Scheme as it appears in hindsight was through a Susan marrying to Dale Ashford. That failed. Then through the Davis’s climbing through windows and sexing Sam’s Wife while Wilma Greenwood Ashford’s oldest son was at work. There may be a son from that through the daughter in law which stemmed in divorce. Then another Davis, a Brother of the first Davis, alleged to have followed and stalked the wife of another Ashford: Dale; and that has rumored to have ended in sex to Dale’s wife while she worked at Carter’s industry in Senatobia which occurred as Dale work included out of town Travel. From that Davis sneak attack, the son of Wilma Greenwood Ashford may have a child with Davis blood in the Ashford’s family through that daughter-in-law. And that came before Carolyn went into the streets and met another Davis, Thomas who tried to marry Carolyn immediately-caught by Wilma Greenwood Ashford and defied the association with a scum. That yielded anger from the Ashford Daughter who sexed: got immediately pregnant and snuck to have married the forbidden fruity Thomas Davis sighting the pregnancy. And this a child was born and was killed of this forbidden union between the stalking Davis sneaking into the Ashford’s pedigree bloodline. Same that Ruth B Davis tried of Wilma Greenwood Ashford.

And then came the youngest and the smaller, beau Terry Dwayne Ashford, InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, Journalist Broadcasts🎚. who was supposed to be mocked by a older high school Davis sissy named darelle who became the neighborhood whore before dying of pure AIDS having married first a Terry then to a white nerd boy at dying. Mind you his sister stalked and also was impregnated by another “Terry”. And even Ruth B. Has a son that stalked Terry Dwayne Ashford also named Terry Newson after Ruth B married into Wilma Greenwood Newson Johnson Ashford’s native family - allegedly stalking when the older Davis family setup CAMP next to the Wilma Greenwood Newson Johnson Ashford’s grandmother’s Founded Church. That church today is “Hopewell M.B. Church”. Documents about that church housed in Wilma Greenwood Ashford’s safe was reported as stolen by Carolyn Davis, from the founder’s granddaughter who is Wilma Greenwood Ashford. Carolyn Ashford-Davis is the Daughter who took the bite out of the forbidden fruit and snuck up and married a Davis, Thomas who was taken OUT but in the same time- into his grave. Mom said “Do not bring that man into our house” he was a Davis and ended up marrying Daughter Carolyn. The child was prematurely and almost died at birth. And that Ashford-Davis sneak child was the one killed before his 18th birthday. In hindsight Terry Dwayne Ashford feels the killing is associated with the deceitful bloodline.

And we close with two incidents- Officer Davis’s sneaking from Washington DC Police Precient 4D caught on Video and the October 3rd, Muslim tossing coffee at the camera in the streetNOW News Report by InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford. Hahahahaha hehehehehe. And we all see why the Davis’s want to be in the Ashford family. lol trying to trade ASS to get it. Whatever WHORES, not good enough for an Ashford as proven. Mocking is the best a Davis can do.

Y’all the Rick Ross Scheme was supposed to have seen the Davis’s replicated on the Ashford’s skills, beauty and smarts; Just as the alleged real Rick Ross may be a prisoner, with a name and intellectual properties stolen by a man posing as him riding on his development outside the jail where the real Rick Ross may be housed.

And as the streetNOW News on crime Report by InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford Speculative announced in broadcast- “Like my Brown Skin” was to be the ploy that yet another Muslim was to get IN where he could have FIT in. That refers to the black Muslim who waited outside the CVS store in Washington DC on GA Avenue, at approximately 7 o’clock between 630 pm and dark. Let’s assume that video was being handed for fraud editing by the management of the CVS (using a Muslim Male), as well as the family Dollar “using a Muslim Female” as a retaliation to the video achieved of the Muslim Male going after the Hispanic at the morning gas ⛽️ station’s air pump. And that Muslim Latino conspiracy was retaliatory of the reported alleged Alley of the Hispanic at Hamilton And 13th street the days before. The Hispanics was retaliating using black Muslims for the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY reporting at the alley on Hamilton seeing the Hispanic, the Pink Purple Scouter and the open-door garage at the Alley where the man stalked InDaCarSeat doing work at the Hamilton hotspot at the playground. And we have it all from the beginning to the end. LoLing make our day bitchwhores. I am an Ashford.

The report was of a man rushing to get white men at Hamilton playground hotspot- and InDaCarSeat DaTGuY ran and got the stalker 👀 photo. That stalker ran into the alley with a Latino waiting to serve him on the corner. That corner was the one marked by the purple pink scouter. The Latino was caught waiting in the alley butt poked UP having left his work site. That report was done on sept 30th and or October 1 - and that report led to the October 3rd Muslim Toss Coffee at the Ashford Journalist Broadcast named Terry Dwayne Ashford. And that “tossing the coffee “ at the journalist’s comers was the expected documented deviant behavior of Muslims which would be used by InDaCarSeat DaTGuY journalist’s in support of the journalist’s Terry Dwayne Ashford’s broad professional on-air broadcaster demeanor of Gaffes made from the LaughLoud Infamous “Toss The Coffee” caught chasing white ass by following InDaCarSeat DaTGuY on video. The InDaCarSeat DaTGuY video is uploaded to YouTube. LoLing by InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford for streetNOW News reporting on Crimes in Washington DC. LoLing. Make me laugh. The video of this incident was retaliation of the reporting of the incident at Hamilton Playground hotspot and the alley near the house on the corner of 13th and Hamilton and the Latino in the garage.

All this is still thinking the professional reporter wants SEX with some N8gger - when the reporting is on racism.

And when you thought we were gone - We are there too. 4 and 4; 2 and 2.

The Hamilton Playground Hotspot and the Hispanic at the Rock Creek Park in the gray Toyota Camry tag achieved reported on BlabberNEWS tweet. Photos and the black pick-up open bed truck. Parked up on InDaCarSeat DaTGuY then immediately left. Both vehicles left. The black small pickup truck had in it a lawn mower by which InDaCarSeat DaTGuY used to make jokes for the day. The black pickup open bed truck said something to the silver Toyota Camry Hispanic big hair driver while the pick up driver was a bald Hispanic driver- and that is when they drove off into the park. Guess what came next? Three siren sounding police vehicles rushing into the park in the same directions that the Hispanics rushed to. Heard someone say there was a fist fight in the park. Now we may have a fist fight being falsely aligned to Terry Dwayne Ashford linked by the silver Toyota that parked up on the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY’s car. Guess what we have the photos of all on the BlabberNEWS tweets from the news desk. The three police rushed into the park and we believe the police may be trying to falsify that Terry Dwayne Ashford had a fist fight in the park - as the actual InDaCarSeat DaTGuY was parked being watched by the neighbors who sat out and watched InDaCarSeat DaTGuY in his car while the fist fight may have occurred. After the police left guess who arrived back to the same location and parked afterwards. That was the silver big haired Hispanic tag number achieved on the BlabberNEWS tweet. We have police plot planned to use an editor to edit the silver Toyota Hispanic fight over Terry Dwayne Ashford and was to try to arrest Terry Dwayne Ashford for the Hispanic fight in the park. LoLing. LoLing you bunch of idiots. LoLing.

Got it. The Hispanic staged a fight in the park that was to calmed by police and police was to re-image that stated retaliation to the Hamilton park reporting- to the reporter Terry Dwayne Ashford. And the half-talking illiterate sex feigning Hispanics was to have gotten revenge using dumb Cops on another Ashford by jailing the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY for the SP7CK crazy illiterate uneducated deviant behaviors of angry Hispanics who can’t do shit. The bald Hispanic in the black pickup having a lawn mower in the back, and the silver driving Toyota that backed upon the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY car who returned after all the commotion in the park had ended. That return to the same spot where InDaCarSeat DaTGuY was parked aimed at imagery that would be re-imaged. All caught by the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY journalist broadcaster Terry Dwayne Ashford. Let’s say a fight did ensue at the park which is why the sirens and lighted police rushed to the park. We noticed that one of the police cars appeared to have been DC Blue Protective Services vehicle. LoLing guess what y’all. That appearing to have been protecting the victims- just as mom- would be that vehicle’s justification for arriving at a fight that had nothing at all to do with InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford. The fight if there was one was allegedly staged by the police with the Hispanics of the silver Toyota pictured on BlabberNEWS Magazine Twitter feed. We have it all.

OMGosh these faggits are terrible. That Hispanic ordeal would be linked to the Hispanic retaliation of the reporting at the corner of Hamilton and 13th street that sparked the four reports by InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford- of the four incidents of Muslims Hispanic attacks on Saturday Oct 3rd. All allegedly would be part of falsifying to sabotage Terry Dwayne Ashford.

Four reports and the four incidents on October 3rd include:

“Toss the Coffee” at the cameraman

“Silver Toyota Big Haired Hispanic with the bald Hispanic in the black pickup and lawn mower

The Family Dollar Store re-imaging a extremely thin and siss-fied girly like male using the Muslim Female Employee there between 3 and 6 pm

The CVS on Ga Avenue using a brown skin Muslim there in a re-imaging that the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY would not even be award because the purchase was made and he was gone seeing the Muslim wearing black entering but first signaling to the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY as he was leaving. There is something planned for the use of CVS video that the conspiring police had planned to alter in editing and that was something known by the silver Volvo male who rushed in and stood beside InDaCarSeat DaTGuY in the cvs store. LoLing

Closing out is a fifth using an Uber driver in a small sedan four door car linked to an exact make and model car with black windows which turning right away from the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY and entered the alley on the right of my car in front of the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY at approximately 2 am in the morning. Then minutes later came the Uber driver came minutes later from the opposite end of the alley and turned right towards the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY. Same model make and year of cars with one difference one was an Uber and one was not having dark 100% tinted black windows. We believe something is UP with that too, which InDaCarSeat DaTGuy would not have a clue.

Two Gangs allegedly hosting crimes with intent to re-image as cop 👮‍♀️ led sabotage attempt are:

Hispanics Males

MUSLIM Males

The two stalking locations and crimes there of the two groups intended to sabotage InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford:

Hamilton Hotspot Sex trafficking in the alley

The rock Creek Staged Fight by an unknown silver Toyota/black pickup pictured on BlabberNEWS tweet.

The two vehicles that harassed a parked InDaCarSeat DaTGuY at the same locations where the black man allegedly had a gun and said would shoot the innocent person:

Silver Toyota pictured on BlabberNEWS tweet (similar to the Silver Mercury and the Muslim 4D Sargent in Police Vehicle P407 on October 2nd.)

Small older model black pickup with a lawn mower in the back of the open bed truck

The four locations:

CVS Georgia Ave at Van Buren

Family Dollar at Georgia Avenue near Rittenhouse and Sheridan

Exxon Gas station air pump at 10th NE and Michigan Avenue

Rock Creek Parked location at the turning entrance side street of the rock Creek Park.

The four types of fraud incidents as attempted but failed

Re-imaging and falsifying the image of the real person with a fraud one planted while the victim was not even there editing video

Re-imaging the real health through the body of a a sickly unknown person’s body as the healthy strong InDaCarSeat DaTGuY to sabotage jobs on falsified healthcare.

The attack on the person’s rights to get photos of the stalkers that may have been planted by the cop and planned as entrapment.

Re-imaging a fight through linking of a car which was to be posed in a third re-image of cars using the silver Toyota pictured on BlabberNEWS tweet. In this one there would be several re-imaging ploys - the car would link the wrong person to the fight where the victims was no where near. And the person in the silver car big hair may have been the one who fought - who would be re-imaged as the person InDaCarSeat DaTGuY. And that is why the person came back to the location where InDaCarSeat DaTGuY was parked to provide another photo-opportunity for the cops to use in their editing. The silver Toyota was to be in the position of the InDaCarSeat before he fought. Then he was to go fight in the staged event. Then the same silver person was to go back and appear as the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY again by parking in his spot after the fight ended.

All has been squashed and for legal sake we say now “Allegedly”. Now the cops would cease even presenting their fraud claims. Only a journalist broadcaster would be able to handle a corrupted cop working in a governing sense thinking he could win. Naw you can’t win against Divo’s as sons and prince of Divas. You can’t do it. Get over your arrogance.

On the morning after all the MUSLIMs attempts we have the white attempt in a dark colored appearing black Volvo tagged JC0 89R with picture of 🏌️‍♀️ golfing on the tag and the color of the Volvo has been corrected to dark blue not black. InDaCarSeat We are highlighting the security officer 👮‍♀️ tag 3DS4368 MD at the corner stone again. A different one but in the same size and shape as the prior none in the corner stone scenic spot. The mocking here is of the booth of the adult bookstore. Met the morning of the report alleged to be the police 👮 again in sex trafficking of humans. The Volvo appears to be pretending to be the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY sniped in his face.

The parking location of the police invoked cornerstone security officer perceived as carrying out deceit on October 4 using the white man in the black volvo is the exact spot of the cop we allegedly caught in the Honda. The police we believe has marked the location right in front of the center electrical socket of Barnes and Noble as the one that sets up sex trafficking. And that socket in the center of the other two has been turned Off by Barnes and Noble-using the parking directly bin front of it as a marker.

Now we take you back to the silver Toyota from October 3rd rock Creek Park mimicking the silver mercury deviance from turkey thicket caught in YouTube. We post the tweets of the silver Toyota pictured on BlabberNEWS Magazines stalking and harassing so they thought a journalist who instead made his day.

Tweet number 1 of the Silver Toyota and the black pickup of a group of Hispanic that was in the arrangement to pose a fight through several re-imaging ploys. https://twitter.com/deskblabbernews/status/1312468334533779456?s=21

Tweet number 2

https://twitter.com/deskblabbernews/status/1312467749466038272?s=21

And tweet number 3

https://twitter.com/deskblabbernews/status/1312467364810694660?s=21

Signed InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, Terry Dwayne Ashford.

This report was done and pressed at press time of 5 am on Sunday October 4th, 2020.

[talknow]

When Clarity Is More Important than Even Talking

I didn’t see no racism from whites in school because the racism was with the black dudes. And I didn’t fool with them anyways nor wanted them. So since all the racism was within the black male group behind the scene even if my mom did keep them away, I wouldn’t have seen it because I was busy in my studies. The only way I would have seen racism of the black men was if I was fucking with black men. And that is exactly what I was NOT doing. I never did a black dude. Never talked to them. Never even hung with them. In school and college where there was black dudes, is where I left quickly. In the university center where student hung out - whenever the black dudes were there I left. All universities had places where the black men hung out and that was not me. Like me or not, I know why. Cuz I distanced myself from that N8GGER shit. Even when I went to disco clubs- the N8ggers hung out in parking lots after closing. Why I thought other then fucking. Nope. I danced. And went HOME. N8GGERS that I knew would stand in the club talking to me choosing on men to have after the club. I didn’t do that. I just laughed shot the breeze and left. Yeah I knew dudes wanted to get with me but dude what dafuck? One night? What if the shit is good? Fuck you. Nope. I act up when I am horny - and I don’t need to be getting horny over no dumb dirty ass N8gger! It won’t happen in my life. Never. Dirty ass N8ggers fucking everything walking NEVER. Racist black N8GGER!

Even in elementary school, guess who I ate lunch with? No body. The blacks were to rowdy. And all my friends hung with blacks. And I couldn’t. And didn’t. In high school, I sat by myself at a table by myself at lunchtime. That was because I wanted to. N8GGERs scared me then - and I knew for a fact - that if a N8gger got too close to me we would fight. And I knew something that no one ever thought. And that is “if I ever have to fight a N8GGER, he most likely would end up dead.” So keep this N8GGER away from me cuz I don’t play with no N8GGERs.

They are dumb. And dumb is a threat to me. A total threat to my life to have N8GGERs coming around me unannounced unsuspecting unprepared. I don’t sleep where there are N8GGERs.

Only once and the doors were locked from the inside and chairs were placed behind the door knob from my side of the room. When the N8GGER came home, I disappeared. Poof gone. The POE mouth, the deep raspy nasty voice, the untamed untrained manners, the eating with their mouth opened, the lax-daisy don’t care, the non urgency unless it’s a H9NKY, the “I don’t know English” unless a H9NKY male- the black ass N8GGER is a disgust to Terry Dwayne Ashford. I just look at a N8GGER and that is IT. Never.

Talking to ME? No you ain’t! Not me. You don’t see you a N8GGER? No you ain’t talking to me! So what I am nice. Nope you ain’t AINT talking to ME!

Ok. Keep trying and I am gonna have your ass LOCKED away. You AINT talking to ME! Period!

I don’t even recall having a N8gger co-worker. Hold on let me think! Nope I have never HAD a N8GGER even as a co-worker anywhere. That IS kinda amazing isn’t is it.

That must have been mom. I can tell you that my freshman year in college - there was this N8gger dude following me. I literally was home over the weekend living in the dorms and told my mom in a casual discussion. That this “N8GGER man keeps following me around” next thing I know the N8GGER dude was gone and had been hospitalized ever since that weekend from an immediate tragic wreak. Good, I said. But I didn’t have a clue it was from my telling my parents.

One more N8gger I am going to tell you about was James Mitchell. When I moved to Atlanta was my roommate. Guess what this N8GGER came in telling me? That he “had orgasms from his butt cakes”. Omg how is that? I asked in my most corniness. How in the hell does a man have an orgasm without touching himself in his butterfly 🦋? This man used to have sex so much with everyone and smiled like it was cute. Guess what happened to him. Within a MONTH he was dead! YEAP. Show was and I had the apartment all to myself. His family came fo clean his shit out. Every N8GGER that has gotten close to me have been put to sleep. Juan Spencer was a N8GGER and the dude was beaten to a pulp for following me.

Let me think of other N8GGERs that tried to get close to me. Every N8gger that I can think of who tried to get too close to me have been put to rest.

The James Mitchell guy seriously I used to use him chasing every man that even smiled at me. I didn’t like the crazy ass men and when I wanted to get them away from me- I introduced them to James my roommate and made James go after them. Knowing James wanted everything he thought I wanted. James went after them ugly stank and all, and I laughed seeing that James didn’t like me. And that was proof. In my house and pretending. When I found that out that is when he was put to sleep. And never woke up again. Abrah-Ka-Debra. Bye Butt Orgasm BOY. And the N8GGER was gone. Every N8gger I know have tried to backstab me on my nice appearance only to find in the end - nice was the exact nasty that took the HOE to his grave. All I did was “wiggle my nose” and ask “is this N8GGER even supposed to be HERE? Get this HOE out of my face. And that is what happened.

A n8gger liking ME - HOW? How did some shit like that happen?

Now I can tell you how would such thing happen- is if i was tipsy. First of all, a half of a drink is enough for me to feel good and smile profusely at “UGLY”. YEAP shooooooooo will. See UGLY and my heart sees jokes. Jokes that I cannot say “OUT LOUD”. But when I have a drink I laugh at them to myself. LoLing. Shoooooooooooooo DO. Being civil. I could never say what I really think out loud and maintain a reputation to be the acclaimed journalist that I am. So I laugh inside tickled to death at the arrogance of Ugly and shitmonkey. LoLing. It tickles me to death. I just be wanting to ask “how the fuck did you become such a shit monkey in year 2020? How indaFUCK did such thing happen? And why YOU? LoLing. But I keep the shit to myself. Mom and I used to laugh together. “Mom look 👀 you see that?” YEAP she would say “Wayne is it a bitch like they say in the street”. Yeah mom that is what they call a “HOE”. We call it a whore for the correct word. But N8GGERs call it a “HOE” like the grass chopping tool. I call it a HOE when I am hanging out and have a drink. Then we change the subject. Mom why you won’t have a glass of wine with me? Mom don’t get drunk - sorry mommy don’t do that!

That’s mom and me - and that was us talking that we didn’t show them. We looked at each other when y’all were around and laughed. Winked. And said look 👀 what is wrong with that ugly thang- is it crazy? I would say something like “mom that’s animal shit”. Now mom and I never used the word N8GGER ever before a N8GGER tried us. Never. We would also say something is wrong with those people and we would try to prove to ourselves that they were like us. We couldn’t believe that something could be wrong with a person based on skin tone and having a sack of nuts in his pants. We nicely: politely: classically: just asked ourselves- what’s wrong with them? And felt tearful that they were so different. Anyways we don’t and did not do N8GGERs. And honestly I believed it was our GOD that gave us grace in being civil to them. “Well baby they are human too” she said. And we have to live for ourselves. Somehow they love you she said. And I accepted the words but I, InDaCarSeat DaTGUY, never believed no shit like that. Nevertheless I honored my mom’s wishes that as siblings they loved me. And I should love them too. “Oh well mom, if you say so!”

And I then LEFT. Cuz I don’t know how to love something that makes me feel that strange. It made me feel so strange that it angered me. And that anger was kept a secret. I just got away. And when I did see them- guess what InDaCarSeat DaTGuY did? I smiled. And held myself quietly as mom watched me knowing I was as uncomfortable in their presence as a hot comb would be straightening a H9NKY’s hair. I just held myself tightly and didn’t talk. They entered and sat and looked at me and I looked at them. When the clock struck the hour “oops times up. My flight back to Atlanta leaves in an hour gotta go. And that was the saving grace. We kept friendship forever just like that.

Those people didn’t like me either. They just looked at me and were jealous. Seemingly all of them. And that confirmed they must be a gang. How could ALL of them hate one person altogether?

They talk loud. OMG what’s wrong with those people. Then their voices are mono toned - no feeling. What in the hell they hiding? Voices seems to be trained to be one tone to avoid showing feelings. One guy that I knew liked me - his voice got so deep when others came as he talked to me - his voice threw me OFF. Offensive as if he didn’t want the other person to know he liked me. That was enough right there- dude get the FUCK away from me! I just thought “he must BE DUMB👋! That’s what I thought and put his ass on the tennis court and told him to “HIT the ball”. My favorite was an African named EBEY cuz he was big and thought bigger was bad. I used to enjoy whooping his big ole ass but I liked him too as a friend. It’s offensive the find that HE is GAY! Sorry it’s so offensive that all these N8GGERs are GAY it’s a shame. Sorry I HATE you N8GGER. Do you know how many of you I kinda adored and refused talk about anything of such to protect you. Do you know how many I have turned away because I liked you and saw your kids or your wife or your family or honored your straight LIE? And to find that YOU are FAGGITs and Racists AGAINST ME is a disgust. My ex-friend SHONGO, sorry I can’t even LOOK at the level of offense. The respect I held and find that YOU may be a GAY man- and saw you look at white men in my presence. No I can’t DEAL with such Disrespect. Lies. Deceit. Just the thought that my friends may have been GAYER than me - remembering when we used to hang out as buddies and with the Hispanic night club now comes to mind with explanations. Sorry don’t talk to me NO MORE ever! I could never talk to a N8GGER again. I rather DIE than to have a N8GGER in my life. And that is whether it is true or NOT.

The fact that such disgust has penetrated my brain to see SHIT TURDS when I see a N8GGER is enough. Right or Wrong; true or false; done or not; I see a N8gger and I see a big wad of H9NKY shit turds! And that is something I cannot deal with in my face. Could be a billionaire - dude take your N8gger-ASS on!

If one wonders how such sibling mistake was made, the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, Terry Dwayne Ashford has already explained in other terms. But as the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY, Terry Dwayne Ashford does so well as a writer of technicality as well as being a journalist, the technical writer will go above and beyond to explain “this one too” in the staple motto that the InDaCarSeat reports “in a way that YOU may understand!”

While the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford was growing up during the exact times when the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford was avoiding black boys in school, the conspirator brother was caught up in the sex trafficking promiscuity with the whiter men. The oldest brother leading the conspiracy, who’s responsible for the behind the scene pre-emptive attack on Terry Dwayne Ashford, has been noted several times - as the exact same brother who were amidst a secret “gay bashing” of his little brother by not speaking to his then teen-age (now attacked) brother. Written in words that may be published, from the ages of 11 years old as Terry Dwayne Ashford was then just a little boy until the age of 22 the oldest black brothers would not speak to Terry Dwayne Ashford. That shunning hurt the little boy so bad that it shaped the then “astute little black boy’s mentality towards himself. That ordeal led to Terry Dwayne Ashford’s internal and secret plight to find a way on his own. “My brother’s don’t like me.” And that was my mother’s purpose for hovering over InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford when the brothers who attacked continued throughout childhood leaving Terry Dwayne Ashford. And there with the then Little Boy Terry Dwayne Ashford, was no one but the mother who was the one who they allegedly killed. Mom was the only one there consoling the little boy when the brothers who attacked left InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford. And sadly now we find that those exact black men are the ONES that allegedly KILLED the mother relying on having also KILLED and LEFT (in terms of attacking) ME, the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford. To be exact- the older brothers did not speak to the attacked person, (Terry Dwayne Ashford InDaCarSeat DaTGuY) who is also son of the assassinated mother, from about 15 years until the then boy-growing through pubity throughout the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY’s teenage years refused to associate or even talk to their younger brother. And the fact of shunning and gay bashing abuse of InDaCarSeat Terry Dwayne Ashford has been noted and may even be published, as happening when InDaCarSeat DaTGuY was aged “10 years old” until the InDaCarSeat was about 25 years old and had relocated to Atlanta. The new light in the then gay bashing black oldest brother occurred until the introduction of a new woman’s pregnancy beholding the fetus of the son whom the same brother also had put away at age 14. Lenetta was pregnant with Chris whom the brother seems to have also attacked by framing him into jail at aged 14. The oldest conspiring brother (who led the assault) finally spoke to the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY brother (who is the attacked brother) upon his relocation to Nashville. It was noted in as the first time his brother had spoken to him in over 15 years. To show the nice guy we are dealing with in the attacked DaTGuY of InDaCarSeat - he even thought “wow he is actually talking to me.” And InDaCarSeat DaTGuY told lenetta the pregnant lady that “She must have had some special powers over this black man. He hasn’t spoken to me (the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY) since before he turned a teen. The attacking brothers hated their black brother InDaCarSeat and GAY BASHED Terry Dwayne Ashford through shunning activity that caused our mother to console InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford. The exact same gay bashing in the Ashford’s family that protected Terry Dwayne Ashford from his then-gay bashing brothers- saw black men all over the schools gay bashed people who appeared as black and effeminate. Meanwhile the exact same black men was seen embracing the white effeminacy in men. This shaped InDaCarSeat DaTGuY Terry Dwayne Ashford’s masculinity and his approach to black men outside of the home that observed and sometimes even angered him to see the black men hurting other black men like Darell, and Terry Richardson, and Bobby Loveberry, and Alvin Williams. InDaCarSeat DaTGuY had butched UP and that saw him distanced from the gay bashing. The reason why the InDaCarSeat DaTGuY distanced himself