#lola's ramblings

[ramblings-of-lola]

it's a little funny to me that the elves are terrified of driving because it's unsafe as if to get places, they don't break themselves down and move through light with the risk of fading, like that's not infinitely more terrifying.

[ramblings-of-lola]

Imagine being a waitress at a diner run by your grandmother but you have no idea you're actually a werewolf who ate her last partner.

I love once upon a time. imagine being a human man. with a doctorate. and a successful therapeutic practice. with no fucking idea you’re actually a fucking cricket

[lola-thepsychic]

when the hyperfixation is so strong you dyed your hair bright red because of this one guy

[lolabearwrites]

"I wish that even in the dark. Sad, afraid, alone. That every child should know... You are loved"

im sorry what. You can't convince me in Leola's final moments, that's what she's thinking.

at best, I would think her last wish would be something like "I don't want my dad to be forever sad" or "I wish for my daddy to find happiness again"

because she could see how distraught he was even as he tried to hold himself together

Yes, her last wish is very touching, but in context it makes NO sense imo. I don't think she-a very young child- who is sobbing while being pulled into the stars from her fathers arms, knowing she is about to be killed, has the capacity to take a step back and reflect and be like"You know what, situation aside. I have a pretty great dad who loves me. I wish that every child could feel that love too <3"

[ramblings-of-lola]

I was thinking about the Crows and their tattoos, which is a smaller detail I often forget about them. These are teenagers that have been forced or choose to permanently have marks are their body that reflect something about themselves.

Nina has a tattoo from The White Rose, the brothel she was employed by. Every time she glances at it, does it remind of her of Matthias, who she took the job for?

Inej had a tattoo from The Menagerie that she had crudely removed. Does the scar of it remind her of being captive or her freedom?

Kaz has the "R" tattoo and one for the Dregs. When he sees it in the mirror, does he remember Jordie and the boy he used to be? Does the Dregs tattoo remind him of the criminal he's become to get his revenge?

Does Jesper's Dregs tattoo remind him of the debt he got himself into? Does it remind him of his father and their farm?

Does Matthias have trouble understanding why the other Crows have tattoos because he never had to permanently mark himself to prove his loyalty to the Druskelle?

Does Wylan wish he had the Dregs tattoo that would resemble some sense of belonging that he never really felt at home?

[saturnplaza]

Man give me social-disease and give me teenage razors

Man give me social-disease and give me high end phasers

Ive got an offhand way

Give me some information

She's gonna walk away

Jetlag is suffocation

No one understands how much this song means to me

[elis-corner]

gerard way transed my gender

this is essentially just one big ramble about how music as a whole shapes how i experience myself and the world (but with a focus on mcr and gerard)

Addressing the "title", I guess he simultaneously did, and did not, and did the opposite of such. I was well aware of my gender identity before I became an MCR fan (in fact, I discovered them because of hearing "Mama" in the background of trans TikToks), but I've found that, despite this, their music shapes how I view my identity.

Music holds something extremely unique; it has the power to convey things auditorily, through sounds, through volume, through pitch, through tone. They can be things you simply can't put into words that become something you feel on such a deep level and connect with so strongly.

Music has better helped me understand my gender by giving me another sense to describe it with. While I love and relate to MCR as a whole, there are certain sounds, certain songs, that describe my identity in a way that no words or writing could ever explain. They paint a beautiful picture that nothing else could.

When I hear music, I feel things within myself. I see art and colours and shapes in my mind. There is something so intrinsically human about music. I don't study music theory, or label what genres I like, because I feel like music can't be broken down and categorised, and that so directly translates to the wild mess that is gender. You can't use something tangible to describe something that is not, but two things that you have no way to explain? Those can correlate and explain each other so beautifully.

There's also something about the way that musicians manage to capture something visual with their music. I think a lot of people would understand when I say that Danger Days sounds like pop art, that Hesitant Alien sounds like chromatic aberration, that The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars takes me back to an era in which I wasn't even close to existing, that songs off The Normal Album like "2econd 2ight 2eer" sound like spirographs and kaleidoscopes, that "Joyriding" sounds exactly how the numbness of my depressive episodes feel.

Music is essentially a xenogender to me, but with something auditory that my brain then turns into something visual.

As I'm writing this, I'm realising this sounds like I have synaesthesia, but I'm not diagnosed so I can't really speak on that. I'm not diagnosed with anything, actually. Maybe I should be. Who knows. My psychologist kinda sucks. Anyway.

So obviously, there's the music itself. But there's also the people behind it.

There's something that so indescribably describes my experience of gender through aesthetics and presentation. There is something I can connect with on such a deep level when I see Will Wood, Bowie, members of MCR or Queen. In layman's terms it's gender envy, but if you ponder on it, it's something so much deeper. What makes me look at an ensemble, a colour scheme, a single accessory, or even a person, that makes me feel like I'm looking into myself and seeing who I want to be?

And then, there's how their ability to express themselves impacts your understanding of yourself. Here's where the focus on Gerard starts.

I'm simply queer, but to explain myself better I say I'm nonbinary and transmasc. Note how I don't align with binary gender, in a world that mandates it. I was very feminine when I was younger, and when I accepted that I was trans I was so desperate to feel more masculine that I denied everything feminine about myself. Now, I'm kind of just letting myself exist. And it all started with Gerard.

Picture this. It's 2023, and over the past year you've been getting into a band. You've enjoyed the music, but never really ventured into the fandom or learning more about the people behind the music. When you do, you not only discover that the band you thought was broken up is not only back together, but that they performed in your city just a few months before. So, you look up photos and videos of the concert.

That band is My Chemical Romance, and at that concert their frontman was in a skirt and heels. This intrigues you, so you look into the band more.

The Secretary. Cheerard. Party Poison. Hell, even Catgirl Gerard.

That was me, what feels like insanely long ago. I fell in love with the band fully, not just for their music and their messaging, but for the people---the members and the fans. I stumbled upon a group of people rejecting society and being themselves. And I learnt that, fuck presentation, I'm still me.

Seeing MCR as Killjoys, seeing Gerard during the reunion tour... it all had such an impact on me. I can wear skirts and makeup and things that make me feel feminine---the antithesis of what I am in so many ways---and still feel like I'm being true to myself. Music is what unlocked those doors for me.

When I heard Hesitant Alien for the first time, I saw myself in it in a way I hadn't seen myself in music since I discovered Bowie. There was something so dreamy, so hallucinogenic, so out of this world, that described me so perfectly. That I could hear the music, see the visuals, look inside myself, and go, "yeah, that's me".

MCR has helped me embrace more than just femininity, though. I hated having curly hair, but Ray showed me I could love it. I was raised to be against unnatural altering of one's appearance, but Frank's piercings and tattoos showed me what an art form it can be. The "gender" of clothing was so tied to my ability to see myself as masculine, until Gerard showed me I could just be myself and have fun with my appearance, and that I didn't need labels or to restrict myself. I felt like femininity and masculinity could never coexist, until I saw Mikey rocking a balance of the two.

Music is so intrinsically human, describing us in ways that words never could. And I think that's beautiful.

[the-hugger]

Can you give @walkthruthewords and @thatrando13 (Atlas) and @thatrando13 (Freida) and @kimu-dem and @supermilkshakebanana and @brb-on-a-quest and @onewingedsparrow and @beautiful-songbird and @ramblings-of-lola and @lilliesandlight and and @plaid-n-converse and @thecrazyalchemist and @carrotsinnovember and @life-is-okay-rn2 and @givemeasong-singamelody and @igotthisaccountunderduress and @bleep-bloop-boo and @alchemicalwerewolf and @fresh-bed-old-sheets and @cocusnuss and @thebookshelflord and @reiningsoral and @dandelions-arent-weeds and @a-wondering-thought and @friesnoketchup and @maximum-tragedy (hope she's ok) and @the-thing-of-worms and @sonofshu and @ria-coolgirl and @florsial and @deetealeaf and @waitingforthesunrise and @mintytealeaves and @azures-grace and @a-resplendent-mushroom and @quackethh and @ so many people I can't remember the usernames of a hug and ask them if they want to be on the list and guys, thank you so much for making memories with me. I treasure every one of you and though I don't talk to all of you very consistently I think you're amazing and you hold a special place in my heart and I love you. I think about you all the time. I apologize if I've ever hurt you and I take joy in every time I made you smile and I want you to be okay. And sometimes life is hard but I promise you are strong. And you're not alone. Know you have someone who is proud of what you've accomplished and who loves you, probably plenty of people because you're so awesome that it's probably inevitable, but at least one. Another day will come and You'll see the rain out of the window and feel the sunshine and smell the petrichor and fresh grass and feel the satisfaction of resting after hard work and feel the breeze on your skin and find beauty in little things, laughter, clothes swaying on a clothesline or leaves curling shriveling leaves like dying curses at the sky, or a soft sunset, or the breath of a cat as it lies on its side, a dog happy to see you, the grin of a person who catches sight of you like you're one of the best things in their life. There will always be hope and you will always be loved and I hope you find it soon and that you find it plenty.

@brb-on-a-quest @onewingedsparrow @beautiful-songbird @ramblings-of-lola @lilliesandlight

@plaid-n-converse @thecrazyalchemist @carrotsinnovember @life-is-okay-rn2 @givemeasong-singamelody

@igotthisaccountunderduress @bleep-bloop-boo @alchemicalwerewolf @fresh-bed-old-sheets @cocusnuss

@thebookshelflord @reiningsoral @dandelions-arent-weeds @a-wondering-thought @friesnoketchup

@maximum-tragedy @the-thing-of-worms @sonofshu @ria-coolgirl @florsial

@deetealeaf @waitingforthesunrise @mintytealeaves @azures-grace @a-resplendent-mushroom

@quackethh

[ramblings-of-lola]

Honestly though, I love that Keefe does this because not only is it slightly hilarious, but very kind of him. He's in love with Sophie but is respectful of her relationship with Fitz that he makes it overly clear that he wants to keep things platonic and not get between them.

Keefe in legacy every time fitz walks into a room and sees him with Sophie: yeah I was just hanging out with your girlfriend don’t you just love your girlfriend omg she’s so silly but I guess you know that about your girlfriend in fact you should talk to your girlfriend now because she’s your girlfriend did I mention she’s your girlfriend and also I’m like super super aware that she’s your girlfriend

[momentomori24]

Surprisingly, hearing Vox and Val technically (I love how technically needed to be added) aren't dating didn't upset me as much as I thought it would. It did... for like a minute until I thought about how painfully much it fits them.

Val throws tantrums and is ready go out and kill people to let off steam, but decides to stay put in his room and sulk instead while he waits for his flat-faced prince to come and comfort him before he does anything drastic. He's killed and abused people for the slightest hint of non-compliance, which he sees as giving him an attitude or questioning his authority, but he doesn't so much as flinch when Vox raises his voice and starts shaking him in frustration more than once. He doesn't lash out or get angry when Vox tries to talk him out of marching towards the hotel, but instead listens to his points and takes his words to heart even when they weren't what he wanted to hear. He's not interested in Alastor, but is willing to sit through watching the extermination broadcast because Vox is a passionate football dad about his one-sided rival getting dunked on. He doesn't even act jealous towards Vox's obsession, just weirdly amused and supportive even tho he hates not being the center of attention any other times. And then there's Vox, who acts like he's annoyed to have to put up with Valentino but still does it anyway. He acts disinterested about Val's ranting over Angel until he hears that Angel might've quit because he's an jealous, insecure loser that wants that mf's attention to himself. He lights his cigarette and decides to call up their lowest earners for him to terrorize without being asked just to lighten his mood a little (unrelated but i feel for their employees). He keeps his eyes on him both in his room and when he's at the pub through the cameras he's got everywhere. He takes his hand like one would with a princess and smiles fondly at him before disappearing when noticing they're being watched. He's the only person that Val trusts enough to calm him down when his temper gets the better of him. And Val-- despite his volatile temper and obnoxious quirks-- is someone he respects and cares about, both as his business associate and romantic partner.

And they aren't dating. Val and Vox clearly have a connection and understanding and attraction yet are unable to confront those feelings in fear of being vulnerable. So they aren't dating. Val obsesses over Angel and Vox obsesses over Alastor to distract themselves of the other only to fall back into each other's arms at the end of the day. Even tho they aren't dating. They celebrate, dance, sing, support and shamelessly make out with each other. They're the only ones that would put up with each other's bullshit no matter what-- but for some reason, they're still not dating. They are two of the worst Overlords in Hell, capable of committing so many despicable acts and jumping to immoral tactics for their own gain without any regrets, but opening that door into genuine emotional vulnerability? Acknowledging their softness for each other? That's where they draw the line. They're clearly made for each other, but neither of them dare to step over that line to commit to something more.

Which means that we could get to actually see these changes take place. We could get to see more sides to these two we still haven't seen before. We could get to see them actually start dating and the complicated journey it took to get there. We could get to scream and kick and seeth as these two morons continue to dance around admitting their very much requited romantic feelings for every stupid reason under the sun episode after episode. We could get to see these two fix each other and make each other worse simultaneously. Mostly make each other worse. We could get to see them have a romantic duet. We could get to see them be happy together-- officially together-- while they make life worse for everyone around them.

All this mumbo-jumbo, sleep-deprived ranting will likely not happen, but the potential character growth, the dynamic development, the resolved romantic tension, the SONGS we could get??? I'm clinging onto this hope for dear life until it's ripped from my cold, dead hands.

[twinkodium-inactive]

Another video of Oscar walking to the McLaren garage 🫠🫠🫠🫠

[ramblings-of-lola]

Oh my word, yes, let's freaking talk about it.

I reread the scene to refresh my memory. Inej's two main thoughts, like op said, are that she doesn't want to be captured again or be forced to give up Kaz's secrets.

She wants to die free. Not at the hands of men due to her time at the Menagerie. She's been abused at the hands of men who saw her as an object and not a person as a child.

Kaz is responsible for her freedom. He saved her from the Menagerie. She's loyal to Kaz and won't hurt him by being tortured to give up his secrets and endanger him.

May the Saints receive me.

This is her final thought before Kaz stops her. Inej at this point in the story, if I'm remembering right, feels guilty before her Saints for the things she's done to survive. Her last thought is a plea to her Saints that they will have her on the other side. She doesn't know for sure that the afterlife will be better than the hell she's escaped from, but she's willing to risk it so she will remain loyal to Kaz and die free.

So are we just going to sit here and ignore what Inej was about to do right after she got stabbed by Oomen? The girl pressed her own blade beneath her chest and was ready to drive it into her heart just because she didn't want to be captured a second time and more importantly... She'd rather die than betray Kaz by potentially giving away all his secrets.

[zero06iranosaurusrex]

DISCLAIMER:this all are a fiction works and not any of em based on real deals,i use other pop cultures fictional medias as references so...maybe a little bit talk about this kinda...random au that i made yeah all of em are connected each others and also an expansion lore of my other LT AU:divided horizon and yes the main characters are....different in each of em,and also they kinda...have different stuffs to dealt with and to solve,and each shits that happened onto them was caused by different factors like bugs's problems was caused by his encounter with cecil which made him become aliven't,ace dealt with losing both of his parents,and other shits,yakko and his insecurities beneath his fun and easy going attitude and buster with...a lot of terrifying shits happened to him which i refuse to elaborate more because...graphics so yeah ....angst here n there lmao but yeah don't worry,every stage of grieves has redemption arcs and solving problem times and they eventually would got it somewhere in the middle of their stories

also a test page of the first arc because....i need to dealt wit moires on the screentone oTL

[lola-thepsychic]

I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. I may be a silly little blog, but this place and this community holds a very special place in my heart, and I care deeply about you. Whatever you’re going through, the sun will rise again, and hopefully, tomorrow will be a little kinder. Goodnight 💗

[lolabearwrites]

Spin off Series of Ekko looking for Jinx. That's all I want.

[ramblings-of-lola]

David and Emma put their all into hobbies, like reading.

Snow and Henry read for entertainment, but get easily distracted.

Regina and Hook ain't got time to read, they just need their information now.

Belle is a true bookworm who screams at characters being stupid (like her husband).

tier one: actually reading

tier two: pretending to read

tier three: skimming through book

tier four: screaming at book

ouat characters and how they read