#lola gives the weirdest gifts sometimes

[leche-flandom]

Okay so my mom gave my daughter some books she got from the flea market. Considering how my mom let us watch a ton of inappropriate movies and shows when we were kids, I probably should've checked them before I let my daughter pick one for her bedtime story tonight, but hindsight is hindy and sighty.

Anyway, I couldn't stop giggling when I read her the story about Theseus because this is the most UNHINGED MINOTAUR I HAVE EVER SEEN

First of all, Theseus reminds me of both the knifer and the knifee from that wikiHow "Winning a Fair Fight" meme. Second of all, I know that Ovid described him as "part man, part bull" so this is technically correct, but... wowzers.

Eh, it was either this or a short story about Grendel's bone-crunching ass.

[okinawa-division]

The day was almost over for Rashaad's birthday, but before it could end, a certain adult actress had to bequeath one of her favorite people and her favorite bartender a gift before then. So, after paying a deliveryman an "extra-service" for having her gift shipped to Okinawa before the day was over, a small pink box was now placed on Rashaad's counter in his back room. The bar owner was surprised to receive mail this late, but he didn't question it, as it wasn't the weirdest thing he ever saw.

Looking at the box, a sticky note was place on top of it, which read: 'Don't open till your alone!' Looking around, Rashaad could confirm he was by himself, though the bar was open. Opening the box, the bar owner looked at what was inside.

...

He almost wished he hadn't. Why? Because... inside was one of Aika's, a.k.a. Vivian Vixen's as she was called on her job, videos. But this wasn't an ordinary video. Oh no, if you knew what Aika did for a living, you'd know that the videos she made... well, they weren't for the weak of heart. And it certainly didn't help that the cover art displayed Aika in all of her... "glory".

...

Poor, poor, Rashaad...

...

As much as Rashaad enjoyed Aika-san's... jokes, this one was going too far. While he'll gladly admit that Aika was a beautiful woman, he really wished she'd stop sending him these videos of her. Looking at the video cover, the bar owner calmly placed the top of the box back on it, pushed it off to the corner of his table, and calmly left his room, proceeding back to the bar, refusing to give it a second thought.

"I sometimes have trouble wondering who is worse: her, Miss Lola, or Miss Rose..."

Thanks for the gift!

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

My Sides 2.0

So, I’ve done my Sides before being that I had been inspired by @asofterfan‘s art work of their sides. But mine turned out really half-assed and meh so I upgraded them. (CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY BECAUSE TUMBLR IS SHIT!)

Mimsy “Momo” “Mama Mo” (Morality)       Pronouns: They/Them She/Her

*Likes*

Flowers

Sweets

Seashells

Warm Weather

Stuffed Aimals

70s Aesthetic

Puns (accidentally forgot that one)

+Dislikes+

Ignorance

Confrontation

Sand

Assholes in general

Close Toed Shoes

About Them:

Has been numbed by life so much to the point where nothing can faze them

May come off as cold at times

Still, somehow, very empathetic

Closed off to their own emotions but very in tuned to others

“I don’t care,” They said, caringly, as they cared deeply.

Unknowingly has become the Mom Friend of the Sides

A bit of a temper

Stern but caring, even if they don’t show it at times

Helps keep Anne under control (they’re the only one that can)

Kind of a hippy

Wants to do the right thing but also doesn’t want to hurt anybody

Very blunt and to the point

Very quick to turn violent if one of their friends or loved ones are in danger/distressed

Surprisingly very forgiving if you do harm on to them

Doesn’t really communicate their feelings well with the others which endlessly frustrates Lola

Doesn’t open up to Lola much because she believes he won’t understand since he’s logic, there for unable to process emotion

Unknowingly has a tendency to coddle Kiki a lot

Has nicknames for all the sides: Kiki is Sugar, Lola is Honey, and Anne is Sweetie.

Lola (Logic)      Pronouns: They/Them He/Him

*Likes*

Biology

Zoology

Psychology

Insects

Crunchy Peanut Butter

Funky Bow Ties

Learning New Things

Non-Fiction Books

+Dislikes+

Incorrect Grammar

Math

Deadlines

Humidity

Not knowing things

About Them:

Excited and always ready to learn

Biggest teachers pet

Will literally raise their hand to ask a question

Always researching the weirdest things late at night when they can’t sleep

Basically Bill Nye the Science Guy

Prefers comfort over professionalize

I dye my hair a lot and they kind of took a liking to it, thus the two green streaks in their hair

Very curious by nature and has gotten in a lot of accidental trouble because of it

Tends to ramble off topic sometimes

Doesn’t really understand emotions or social cues that well but is trying their best to learn

Always writing things down in note books just in case if it’s important and they might forget

Pretty emotional for someone who’s not supposed to have/understand emotions

Anne seems to like them more then the others so she doesn’t tend to pick on Lola that much unless they’re rambling and need to be told to shut up

Lola and Kiki get along the best because of their shared interest in books as well as working together in a lot of projects

Wishes they could bond better with Mimsy but the emotional side tends to keep them at arms length

Doesn’t really think of themselves as smart

Kiki (Creativity)     Pronouns: They/Them

*Likes*

Reading

Writing

Poetry

Fan Fiction

Dungeons n Dragons

Art

Knitting

Cartoons

Musicals

Murder Mystery Thrillers

+Dislikes+

Writers Block

Research Papers

Philosophy

Beowulf

Avocado

About Them:

Very, very, very, low self esteem

Easily pushed around (mainly by Anne)

As a million and one ideas but can never seem to finish anything

Gets excited by thing but is quick to close back in on themselves because they thing they’re annoying

The ultimate super fan!

Perfectionist

Is there biggest critic

Very jittery and speaks really fast when nervous

Coffee is there life source

Sleep? Who is she? I don’t know her!

Has no sense of style but doesn’t really care at this point

Again, hates Beowulf with the fury of a thousands suns because of that one English teacher my senior year!

Likes to make personalized gifts for their friends

The only time them and Anne work together is when they’re giving me nightmares! (I suffer from chronic night terrors)

They’re close to Lola the most and doesn’t mind hearing the logical side ramble, the information he has to say is interesting and useful for more stories and projects

Doesn’t like that Mimsy baby’s them like they’re some sort of glass doll

Doesn’t know why Anne bullies them....they used to be friends long ago after all...

Anne (Anxiety)    Pronouns: She/Her

*Likes*

Witchcraft

80s Rock

The Beatles & Queen

Ballet

Cthulhu

Scary Movies

Gore Horror Movies

Black & Purple

Terrorizing Kiki

+Dislikes+

Loud Noises

Socializing

Bright Lights

Vinegar

Authority

About Them:

She’s a bitch

There’s no use in sugar coating it, Anne is a bitch and she knows it

Extremely nihilistic and pessimistic

Constantly reminding everyone of their impending doom

Is the grunge goth aesthetic

Tells things how they are even if it makes her look bad

Hates when people tell her what to do

She is the embodiment of all my repressed anger issues

Very self destructive both physically and mentally

Actually kind of hates herself

Likes to release all of her frustrations and insecurities out Kiki by verbally bullying them

Kiki doesn’t fight back or say anything so she keeps on doing it

Actually feels really guilty about it all but continues to pick on Kiki because she’s convinced she’s at the point of no return so might as well continue being the bad guy

Can not for the life of her bring herself to pick on Lola

The nerd is the embodiment of an excited puppy and Anne may be a bitch but she isn’t the type of bitch to kick a puppy even if it gets annoying at times

Is lowkey scared of Mimsy but also kind of respects them

Secretly looking for her approve and acceptance

Does not help that Kiki is obviously Mimsiy’s favorite