#lol what inspired me to post this isn't even one of the Big Moments

[mermaidsirennikita]

FYI RIck O'Connell is one of the only movie characters who reads 10000% like a romance novel hero

[atoriv-art]

Hihi!! So so sooo sorry if this is a random question, but ur art style is so insanely inpirijg and beautiful to me, so do u have any tips on how u learnt? Like any specific stuff u tried to learn first, specific websites u used, etc? If ur not comfortable with answering this im so sorryy😓😓 YOUR ART IS GORGOUS!!

i don't mind answering, dw!

my learning process is very random to be honest, i usually get a little obsessed with trying to learn one particular thing and end up focusing on that for a bit. the most recent one was trying to learn how to draw better clothing folds :P

the general journey i took isn't really much different from what looks to be what most people do tbh, you can never go wrong with figure drawing (there's many people who can explain it better than me but it's just drawing from reference — preferably in-person, but i've never done that LOL — in short amounts of time trying to get the key elements down. the big website for this that i know of is [line of action])

i also use [these] [websites] for references, i think it's important to know at least the gist of how the human body actually works, how the muscles stretch etc, but you will affix all of that information in your brain much faster if you actually see them in action. for proportions and such i think 3D models are completely fine (and i use them. so much) but when it comes to drawings muscles or fat you will have a much easier time if you've actually seen how they work and look. it'll make you better at shading them too!

there's a bunch of resources for anatomy but my favorites are the [anatomy for sculptors] book (they post tidbits of it on social media, they're geared towards 3D artists but that's just a plus for me imo because you can understand the form you're trying to achieve much better) and the famous morpho: fat and skin folds book (i don't have a link but just like. google it it's the first one that pops up)

i alsoo tried studying color theory a lot but honestly it's rare that i find something i like enough to share KSJDKSJ once you get past the basic "what is an analogous, complimentary, tertiary palette" stuff it gets a little harder to find meaningful stuff online, but if i were to offer any advice it'd be to study light-dark values bc a lot of the time the hue doesn't matter, it's the contrast that does

relatedly (at least for me), for composition i'm still getting the hang of it (orz) but what has worked the best for me so far is this [youtube channel], he's a traditional landscape painter and yet i still find his insight very useful :P i also really like his book on composition but i dunno how available it is.. but essentially any source on composition will just tell you it's an arranging of shapes, the tricky part is how to construct those shapes (via color, contrast, etc) and how to make them convey what you want them to convey.

speaking more broadly and not just what websites/books i use, what i like to do is to save any and all images that look appealing to me, even if i don't feel like doing anything with them at the moment... i do this with pictures, paintings, literally any image that i like lmao pinterest is an easy place to do this in but you could do it wherever, i also have a pureref file full of just Cool Images That I See Online. whenever i feel like i'm stuck i look at the things that inspire me and usually i get the spark to try to do something

i also do this with poses i find in the websites i mentioned earlier, makes it way easier to find a reference for what i want ^^

you'll notice my "style" sometimes fluctuates a lot and it's usually because i saw one particular artist / style of illustration that really inspired me and i wanted to try something similar KSJDKSJ for example the more painterly stuff i've been posted is heavily inspired by aleksander rostov's art for disco elysium!

also i would feel like a liar if i didn't mention this. using "cheats" is completely fine LMAO it's very common that i do some more complicated angles / structures / lighting in 3D with blender to heavily reference them afterwards 😅 i also like environment texturing so in a few cases for my backgrounds i'm painting over a render i made. but you don't have to go that far LOL i'm just saying there's nothing wrong with stuff like that so long as you're not stealing from someone else.

and if you struggle with motivation for studies i'll just say, you can cheat a little and make the studies about something you actually like LMAO like when i was trying to get better at clothing folds i just drew a bunch of naruto characters and paid more attention to the clothing. it's silly but it works :)

[the-black-bulls]

I like the headcannon game, how about Luck or magna :D

seeing a headcanon you disagree with and it kinda pisses you off

y'all want me to ramble about luck alright lol, already did magna here and I don't think I've more to add, so this post is for luck, vanessa and the bulls relationship in general!

Luck:

- I think a lot of people just assume that luck hates his mom because she's an abusive person, when in reality he's showed nothing but love towards her even after he finally let her go... and honestly, I doubt he would ever hate his mother period (even if he should 🥲), and taking that nuance out of his character doesn't sit right with me

- also, "bad friend luck" is a dumb headcanon that mischaracterizes him, magna, and the black bulls in general

- I'll be honest, I was never into the "half sister charlotte" theory, but especially after it became so widespread people treated it as canon thus it lost its appeal to me and sound boring now (we could always get creative and embrace "half sister sally" theory instead 😛), but nothing wrong about supporting it though

Vanessa:

- manga spoilers alert: there's this headcanon that popped up by charlotte fans at the end of spade which basically reads: "it's her feelings and plea for yami to live that triggered rouge into bringing help for him..." which, why? vanessa was there and grey was there and they don't need to be romantically involved with yami to have strong feelings for his safety be freaking real, not to mention that rouge has always been a black bull spell; it's favored by them and triggered by them and would alter fate for their sake regardless of any outsider's tears, but also... what the hell? we're talking about the spell vanessa developed out of (family) love, the same spell that's connected to her heart, why tf should charlotte be credited in her place is bad enough but stretching so hard to twist what is pretty much a love spell from vanessa to the bulls just so your ship gets petty points is pathetic!

- so anyways, "vanessa needs to find true love" is an awful, awful headcanon (emphasis on need)

Black Bulls Relationships:

- that they only started bonding with each others after asta joined the squad and inspired them to do better, SURE... they did become better magic knights thanks to him, but their development is a long process shaped by each other's presence even if it'd take them years to admit it... this is why when each black bull hits their Development Moment, they always think back of yami, the other bulls, or both, so there's NO WAY they acted like strangers or were unhelpful to each other prior to the year asta and noelle became members

- likewise, any headcanon that implies one bull or another is disliked by the others or only barely accepted isn't headcanon, that's straight up mischaracterization, go reread the manga again

- likewise, I believe that just because the manga didn't explore every single relationship within the squad, it shouldn't lead to fans making it like each member's circle is only limited to one to two bulls, like ok luck and magna are each other's #1 person, but luck can still share ties with the other members too... he can be vanessa's little bro, and noelle's big bro, and charmy's partner in crime, and the little gremlin gauche keeps enabling, etc etc

- this post is getting long so one last thing, I think of the black bulls as a team with mutual and equal influence over each other, so unless we're referring to yami there's no "X bull is carrying the squad on their back" or "without X bull the squad will be lost" - because, honestly, it doesn't fit the bulls, they're all so flawed and bad at things they need each other to balance their cons with their pros, case in point I don't do "finral has been the vice captain before nacht" but I DO "vanessa finral gordon are a trio of senpais who've been carrying/sharing vice captain duties for years"

[gawrkin]

King Arthur's Son from Jack the Giant Killer

The folk story of Jack the Giant Killer is one of those rare fairy tale stories that's also an Arthurian story - being that its setting during Arthur's reign. Other stories of this type include Tom Thumb and Child Rowland. These stories are generally post-Malory. (unfortunately)

Apparently, according to some scholars the story of "the giant slaying Jack" arose because of the popularity of Arthur himself as the "Slayer of Giants" was so numerous, people were getting bored with it. Jack himself and his story comes off as hodgepodge of various motifs that you find elsewhere in other stories.

What caught my attention with this story, is that the largest episode of Jack's story involves Jack meeting up with a nameless son of King Arthur and adventuring with him.

So, the story of Jack begins with a simple introduction and description of Jack and his first enemy, Cormoran:

For the first three sections of the story, Jack goes around killing giants and making a name for himself (including a famous moment where he tricks a giant into commiting suicide).

For this post, we're skipping over to the part where King Arthur's son is introduced:

Lol. When I was reading this part, I couldn't help but imagine this Prince is actually Sir Loholt, who is sometimes Arthur's Legit son with Guinevere. It actually makes a lot of sense with Lanzelet's description of him:

So yeah, for me he's Prince Loholt. :) Continuing on:

Yup. He's an Arthurian male character, alright. Too nice, not enough braincells.

Also, its kind of heartwarming to know Arthur and Guinevere would have a son who's so kind and generous, he wouldn't think twice to give up his riches if it meant helping someone.

So next up, Jack suggests that they sleep over at a giant's place. This is the other interesting about Jack the Giant Killer: He personally knows this giant and depending on the version, he claims this giant is actually his uncle. Other stories claim the giant is an idiot and Jack's just smooth talking him, but I think its way more interesting if the Giant IS Jack's relative. In Early Arthurian Lore, a number of giant-slayers, including Arthur, Kay and Gawain, all have giantish attributes (Kay's famous superpowers), have giants for relatives (Guinevere, in Welsh myth, is the daughter of Gogfran the giant) or are giants themselves.

Prince: Oh, so that means you're a giant, too? Jack: I guess? Prince: Cool. My Mother, the Queen, is a giantess as well. We're kinsmen! Jack: ... Prince: Also, my uncle can grow really big.

So Jack goes up to the giant's castle and knocks on the door:

So Jack and the Prince spend the night in the giant's castle while the giant himself is locked away. The next day, the Prince continues his journey while Jack promises to catch up after he deals with the giant. What's interesting here is that this giant isn't slain like the others. He survives, unlike Jack's other foes - which kinda puts more points to my theory that this really is Jack's uncle and Jack is a half-breed giant of sorts.

The giant wants to reward Jack:

These magic items are your classic fairy tale archetypal tools that have their inspiration found in earlier myths: You have your bog-standard cuts-through-anything magic sword (like Excalibur), the slippers are the "Seven-League boots" (Based on Hermes' winged sandals) and you have an item that confers invisibility (It comes in many forms: Hade's helm, Siegfried's cloak and even Arthur himself has an Invisibility cloak too)

Jack getting these items is a way to give your hero superpowers without utilizing... unsavory methods. That he's able to use these items despite belonging to - and presumably used by - a giant is never questioned.

Moving on, we get to meet the "Possessed Lady" Loholt the Prince was after this whole time:

Well that was rude. So naturally, the Prince despairs until Jack does something about it:

Methinks that this lady is actually a murderous sorceress and isn't actually possessed.

This is romcom material.

Lady: Um, what is wrong with him? Jack: *Puts on his Cap* ...Camelot, apparently...

So once again, its up to Jack to save the day.

Are you sure this Lady is possessed? Also, she's scolding Satan - definitely wife material Queen material.

And so, Satan was killed (lol), the Lady was restored to her former good looks (even though she was already described as beautiful), she and the Prince get married and Jack gets to be one of the Knights of the Round Table.

And that's the end of this section of Jack the Giant Killer's story and end of this post. Jack's story goes on for a few more episodes of giant-slaying before ending on your typical "...and they lived happily ever. The End."

I wonder what the usual cast's (Arthur, Guinevere, Merlin, Lancelot, Gawain, etc.) reaction to this story would be.

It's notable that (at least in the version I'm reading) this section with "King Arthur's Son " is longer than other stories. Moreover, no giants are actually killed in it. The "uncle" giant was merely hood-winked and Jack uncharacteristically spares him. The story is mostly about helping King Arthur's son woo a demonically possessed Lady.

[z3ny44]

Spoilers for Fionna and Cake Finale Double Episode Post

-Alright, episode 9 started of with a scare! That nightmare really seemed real for a second, and Marshall looked like Shoko when she fell into the radioactive river....

Thank god it was a dream honestly, but the main even of this episode... The Lich begging for Golb to acknowledge his achievements, his success in ending all life on his reality, only to be denied of any form of gratification and to be stripped of his own reason and turned into a tetris block...

I really liked this bit, I think Fionna and Cake had the best moments of Lich alongside his speech in the Citadel episode. His expression, his posture, his rage alongside his struggle... How can a character so inherently impossible to kill, be absolutely finished by no more than a look from the one whom he called his scholar.

Also Simon kicked him that's funny,, poor Jerry

And Now, from the 1000+ years Ooo, we get to see Shermy and Beth again! They are vandalizing Gibbon's kingdom, that, in case you don't remember or don't know, he's the son of Charlie (Jake's daughter that played Card Wars)

I really like 1000+ years Ooo. In a way its cozy but at the same time uncanny cuz you really don't know anyone... (I mean Marcy and PB are canonically alive but still they only appear in the Come Along with Me Intro) I wish it was a miniseries itself!!! Simon got TP'd to Shermy's head and still is trying to find a crown. They went to the library which is now ruled by the paper guys, and a robot in a turtle shell? uh,,, okay?

And yeah basically the Scarab is back cuz Ellis P freed them,,, bruh.

-LAST EPISODE FFS PAWN SWAN IS CANON WOOO

Okay but in all seriousness, the episode continued F&C dealing with the Scarab, and they just threw him all the guys that he imprisoned, which shows us what we already had a feeling since he caught Kheirosiphon: the Scarab just caught outlaw, independently if they are good or bad, most of these guys are reformed and have started a new life... he's just so shitty... like, look at these little Big guy :')

Anyways, to get done with the F&C story, basically Prismo tp's the Peppermint tank, alongside with Jay, little Destiny and BABY FINN!! WHICH IS HUGE?! Finn is going to grow up in Fionna's universe, and if the series continues, we might even see a normal world grew up Finn (with grew up I mean like 15, lol) ALSO WE SEE TIFFANY

Simon's side on the other hand,,, jeez I feel like I was synced with Simon in a way that I never really acknowledged Betty's sacrifice... She really did put everything on the side to be with Simon, and for his happiness.... not that it went by unnoticed, but it bugs me to think... what if they did it differently? What if he went on the trip with Betty... I mean to be fair we have the answer... he dies to vampires a couple years after, but how was the time he spent with Betty? What did they change? How did they change and grew even if it did not last forever....

and if you think that this was the part that hit the hardest... buddy..

Yeah,,, I think Betty isn't even there anymore, this was a goodbye... It wasn't explained but I think it was implied that she is gone... That Golb is back to his normal form... i don't know if this will have repercussions in the future? Maybe reform Lich and fuse with him?! I'm just throwing random ideas at this point.

-Final Opinion: This series was amazing, I'm always happy to have more Adventure Time content, it being my main artistic inspiration makes it so much more fantastic to see new characters, places and stories. It was definitely the best mini series so far. The funniest, the most interesting, and the prettiest visually. The epilogue was so heartwarming, Fionna being able to talk with Simon via sms, he's having therapy with Minerva, and PRISMO! Prismo now has the Scarab with him in the Time Room, they are going to make stories together hehe.

(also there was a frame in which prismo's head was flipped? idk if it was an error wtf)

[dipplinduo]

Hey there! I'm actually a big fan of your work , and as a rookie writer myself, I wanted to know if you have some motivation advises (Comparison gives me so much writer blocks and I don't even post)

I love how I received and chose to answer this ask after having a lack of motivation streak that I only broke quite literally a few hours ago xD

I think it's interesting you're bringing up comparison - it honestly might be at the root of what you're specifically experiencing so I'm gonna focus my response on that. I could be off, but it sounds like seeing what other people are doing feels intimidating and puts a lot of pressure on you. So if it isn't "perfect" or "up to par" with what others seem to be doing, it's not good enough to post.

This is my personal take:

I saw a post (wish I could link it but can't remember where it was) that really resonated with me not too long ago. It talked about how we've been conditioned as a society in a way to see a lot of the arts as something to perfect; if you want to sing, you should focus on learning how to become a good singer. If you are a dancer, you should focus on learning forms to become a better dancer.

The post goes on to make the point that this is not why the arts were founded in the first place.

We as humans began to sing because we enjoyed singing. We danced because we liked to dance. We paint, write, and draw because - at each art's purest and most rudimentary form - it is the power and experience of personal expression. The benefit wasn't to be perfect, it was to enjoy the creative outlet in itself.

This is what has always connected me to writing. This is why I'm okay with posting the way I do, and why I don't mind light humor about my typos and all that. Because at the end of the day, you're writing because you enjoy it. You're writing to express and share with others. And you're doing it all for free. Your willingness to give the gift of your creativity out to the world is beautiful in itself.

This next part might sound a lot easier said than done, but again, this is all just my personal route that goes in conjunction with this philosophy:

See other writers/creators as your peers. Think of it like a potluck - everyone's bringing their own food, and everyone has different ideas. But it's cool because now you have mashed potatoes along with your favorite food, and someone else brought ice cream. No one dish is going to "win" - it's the culmination of everyone's efforts that fills plates up and make the event (fandom) enjoyable and connective.

Recognize the way in which your fic is uniquely yours. What's the touch you want to have? Things you enjoy that you want to feel yourself as you create, and perhaps share with others? Romance, humor, fun, peace, angst? Maybe certain situations for characters, or a moment you want to see with your favorite ship? The more you get in touch with what you want to portray, the more credit you'll be able to rightfully give your own work.

Engage with creators/commenters that are additive to your personal enjoyment and creativity. Going with the whole "this is all for fun, and is basically everyone's hobby over life and death" thing - the people you surround yourself with, or even the content you consume, can directly affect your experience in writing for a fandom. I personally get a lot out of talking about my ideas with others and through inviting and responding to feedback from people that engage with my work. If you like engaging with someone else's work, go ahead! See what stands out to you as inspiring, and let that be your takeaway to mull on (as you're essentially learning more about yourself and what you find entertaining or engaging).

I'm gonna get off my soapbox now (lol), but I also wanted to add one more thing:

There unfortunately is a competitive culture in a lot of recreational spaces, and especially with the arts and over the internet lol. There are people who like to overly criticize because it makes them feel better about themselves/their own work, there are people who may choose to dislike you or your work simply because they view you as competition, etc.

These kinds of choices some (not the majority of people!) may choose to make hold no actual reflection of your character or what you're writing. It is someone else's reflection being projected onto you. You may not be able to control what they do, but you can control how you respond. And my advice on that?

It's your free time. Don't give the haters a platform, just disengage & tune into the folks that uplift & encourage you instead. B)

[leviathanlazarus]

Reaching for Stardust - Part I

Read Looking for Space here.

Listen to the LFS playlist / RFS playlist (all fic playlists get updated even to this day!!)

Word Count: ~3300

Warnings: none

A/N: Y'all...I'm so happy to be here, immersed in this new series. I began writing this back in April after I, seemingly out of thin air, came up with a foundation that seemed solid enough to even attempt writing a sequel to my beloved LFS. Ever since I finished that fic, I thought that one day, I might return for more. I have a very hard time letting any series go and LFS was truly a momentous project in my life--the fact that so many people have read it and continue to read it brings me so much joy, I can't even tell you.

Having been a fan of GVF for about five years now, I do feel a lot of sentimentality and nostalgia surrounding the band, the music and definitely my own fics, too, particularly all my series. I can still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I was mapping out certain pieces of them in my mind. I felt a huge rush of nostalgia recently when I revisited my city's planetarium for a star show, which was a huge source of inspiration for LFS, and I realized that it was literally this same month, August, in 2019 that I was just finishing up the first 8 chapters of LFS, not even planning on making it a 30-something part series (LOL!). You'll see, if you read, that some of these feelings find their way into RFS. This isn't because it's a self-insert fic, rather that's inspired by how much this fandom has seen, experienced and grown over the years. I imagine my friends and readers who were back there in the pre-pandemic GVF era can relate to some level of nostalgia. A big theme in RFS is change. I think we all can absolutely relate to that, too. One thing remains the same though--this is a love story, through and through.

This probably seems like major overkill to introduce fan fiction but this is how I feel. Many of my old GVF friends have moved on in some way or another and I've often felt alone the past few years with still being so tethered to this group of beautiful, silly, fascinating boys that spark so much joy and fantasy for all of us. So, as always, thank you so, so much for reading my fics. I really hope you enjoy

P.S. I am cross-posting to wattpad (comments bring me life!)

---

I was getting lost in the pictures of Alaska–deep, shiny blue water, towering, white-capped mountains, a vivid stream of neon green in the Aurora Borealis, lush green forests. Even enormous, graceful whales surfacing, their tails nearly popping out of my screen as I unconsciously leaned in closer, hovering over my desk. I blinked hard as I turned my attention to the next picture that had been emailed over to me–a huge white ship, lined with windows that seemed endless–and huffed, shifting in my squeaky second-hand office chair. I didn’t even have a true desire to go on a cruise or even go to Alaska, but the neverending research into foreign lands nagged at me, reminded me that it felt like a very a long time since I’d been anywhere new. At least not anywhere exciting, really. 

I grabbed my phone and opened the gallery to scroll through the last trip Josh and I had been on. It’d been a long weekend about nine months prior, which reminded me that it wasn’t all that long ago at all but it still felt like ages since returning to the normalcy of day to day life. It had been a gorgeous summer excursion where we’d had a comfortable, clean hotel room, a warm pool and three nights out all to ourselves, and I found myself yearning for that freedom and escapism again. Plus the sunshine and heat. Michigan winters persisted, long and brutal, and we hadn’t broken through into any real spring weather until just the past week, which had at least given Sam a nice birthday. Josh and Jakes’ birthday was coming up fast. I thought it’d be nice to do something for them, with all of us–go somewhere for real again, all four of us, run amok in a hotel or airbnb. Or just have a nice dinner together followed by bar-hopping. Whatever the twins wanted, really. 

The picture I’d secretly snapped of Josh in our hotel room wandering out of the bathroom completely naked save for a towel twirled around his head came up after a dual selfie of us at the pool and I laughed loudly to myself, throwing my hand to my mouth. I’d nearly forgotten about so many of the little moments. It was so easy to forget when time kept slipping by like the wind, each good moment gone in the blink of an eye and each bad moment suspended in the air until something else came along, and the minutes turned to days and the days turned to weeks and months and before I even knew it, years had gone by and it felt like nothing and everything had changed all at once. 

Next I scrolled to a picture of the best breakfast I’d ever had, this amazing brie-stuffed French toast with a warm berry compote and housemade whipped cream, then the picture of Josh’s breakfast, which had been a skillet full of chorizo, bell peppers, eggs and queso that he’d deemed to be “orgasmic.” My stomach clenched in response and I looked at my phone clock, suddenly eager for dinner once again. My hours were almost up with 5 p.m. creeping on me and my mind turned its attention to Josh and I’s relatively new Friday night ritual–binging on Chinese and watching the most obscure, nonsensical horror movie we could find. With that, I swiveled around to stretch my legs in the sun through the window and pulled up the menu on my phone, trading pictures of Alaskan mountains for pictures of fried dumplings and greasy lo mein; a few seconds later, a very appropriate text popped up:

Hey mama, I’m gonna be a little late tonight. Want me to pick up dinner on the way home?

Yes please. What’s your ETA?

8ish? What’s on the menu tonight?

I’m gonna do the orange chicken and an egg roll. Wanna share some crab rangoon?

yes I do. What about dumplings?

obviously! 

;) see you soon 

I’d need something to hold myself over until Josh got home, though I was glad to have this part of our routine to look forward to. Stability was important and even Josh had come to understand that more and more. I turned my attention back to Alaska, mulling over the images and cycling through words in my head that I could bring to the page and entice people with, as if cruises needed more promotional materials and marketing to bring in profit. They were relatively cheap, all-inclusive and easy for people to handle and reminding myself of this made me bitter all over again–why couldn’t my company make one of their perks a free trip for employees once a year? I didn’t know their exact state of finances but I bet it could be done. They just didn’t want to. And the irony was that they didn’t pay most of their employees enough to take extravagant trips of their own.

Whatever. There were other, more important things I told myself, getting up to stretch and find something from the fridge or snack cupboard. In 32 more minutes I could clock out and put these wild places out of my head for a bit–the weather called for a long walk somewhere.

It was the nicest day we’d had so far, which I fully realized once I was driving and headed out to a familiar, easy forest trail Josh and I often did together on the weekends. But we had a busy weekend coming up, actually. We desperately needed to stock up on groceries–my most recent find of an old packet of peanuts as my last snack was testament to that–and then the boys had a show at Waterstreet. Sunday wouldn’t be as fun–my sister was repainting the entire interior of her new house and had somehow roped Josh and I into helping, in part because we were just that nice, according to Josh anyway, and also because she let each of us pick one color for one room each. Josh had chosen a shade of dusky desert red for the den and I’d chosen something called “spring morning,” a pale lilac, for the powder room, which seemed pretty fitting for the time of year she was making these renovations. 

The trail was bustling, which I wasn’t surprised by, and much of my walk was spent nodding and smiling to other people passing by. The break in weather was infectious for all of us in the area–everyone seemed to be in better moods finally, myself included even despite the gripes I had with work and money and everything else. Sometimes it felt like just yesterday that Josh and I were lying on our backs in the deep black night, gazing up at infinite stars and trying to come up with material for that poetry class that had been the catalyst to bring us together. The warm sun above me while I continued down the dirt path also reminded me of days past, of the first hike Josh and I ever had together when we both stripped down to our feelings, laughed, kissed through sweat, and had decided that was it. We’d made a lot of decisions over the years, so many that I felt like I hadn’t even noticed some of them, but I’d never decided to let fog cloud my memories. I hated that it happened regardless. And sometimes I absolutely hated what changes all the decisions had led to. I wanted to go back in time every once in a while to relive those moments and those days and it made my heart ache to know I couldn’t. Josh would assure me that the future would be just as good–and sometimes even better–than what those memories had to offer. 

And he was often right. Life was good, and I reminded myself of that as I narrowly avoided tripping over an obtuse rock sticking out of the dirt, it was just more challenging now. There was no school to fall back on–I hadn’t realized how much of a safety net that had really been at the time–and less free time. There were more financial worries. More pressures in life. But if nothing else, I had the best people in my life possible; if nothing else, Josh and I were rock solid. He didn’t let a week go by without reminding me that we were soulmates and I agreed wholeheartedly–no matter what might happen, we’d have each other. 

After my walk, I thought about running our necessary errands on my own but ultimately decided that’d be a deviation in routine I didn’t want to make. Josh was the best person to go grocery shopping with, being surprisingly focused and deliberate in his choices. He also was the best at picking out produce, somehow always able to discern which fruit was just the right amount of ripe, and he was good at finding the best deals. He was the coupon cutter, which always made me laugh, and I was the one who followed instinct more than the list we mutually made the day before. I would get caught up in being frivolous, more often than not tossing special treats into the cart that I couldn’t excuse beyond something like, “Come on, you like them too” to which Josh would agree with his cheeky little grin. 

And that same grin was on his face later that night when he came home with the bag bursting with Chinese takeout. His voice and the smell of soy sauce and that syrupy orange stuff made me hop up from the couch, excited for all the things, but mostly him.

Josh gave a little groan as he headed into the kitchen, his backpack still over his shoulders while he carried the white plastic bag in his right hand and his keys in his left. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, shuffling and rustling all the way out of my sight. “Stephanie needed extra time–she’s having trouble with the new cameras. And to be fair, they do have a steep learning curve. You remember how much trouble I had with them last week?” 

I followed him in, taking the bag out of his hand so he could zip back out and discard his keys and backpack. “Which one is Stephanie again? The one who’s obsessed with ‘film noir?’” 

Josh chuckled from beyond the walls before appearing again, pink-cheeked and smiling. “Yeah, that’s her. And that’s another thing–I’m gonna have to review how these cameras even film in black and white because for the life of me I can’t remember right now.” 

“Does she have any movie recs?” I asked as I opened a cupboard to get plates. “We gotta figure out what we’re watching tonight.”

“What about Night of the Reaper? You haven’t seen that one yet.”

“Yeah, but you've seen it,” I replied, wagging a pair of chopsticks at him. “That’s like, cheating. We gotta watch something we both haven’t seen.”

“We’ll find something.” Josh moved in close and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek and my heart fluttered–it always did. “What about you? What’d you get up today in my absence?”

“I went to the Hemlock Trail. It was busy,” I told him while we both plated our respective dishes, my stomach growling. “It was nice though. Looks like we’re gonna have good weather for your birthday.”

“That would be ideal but I’m going to be cautiously optimistic. Last year we had snow, remember?”

“Yeah, like a dusting,” I said with a little laugh, purposefully knocking my hip into his. “I’m gonna be blatantly optimistic and say it’ll be good. And we still gotta figure out what you wanna do.”

“We'll figure it out, my love.” Josh led the way to the living room and sank into the couch which we could have probably done with replacing; he set his can of sparkling water on the end table then grabbed the remote. “I’m so excited for these dumplings. I don’t care if it’s cat food.”

“They do kind of taste like cat food, don’t they?” I concurred, settling down on the other side of the couch. I put my plate on the coffee table in front of us and pulled it closer. 

“They smell like cat food, too,” Josh said, picking a dumpling up between his pair of chopsticks. “I don’t mind. They’re fucking delicious.” 

“I really don’t get how you’ve always known how to use chopsticks,” I remarked, opting for a fork instead to pierce my own dumpling while Josh fished through the cushions for the remote as he chewed. “It’s not fair.”

“I’ve tried to teach you, doll.”

“And I haven’t learned, so either you’re a shit teacher or I’m a shit student.”

Josh laughed and swatted my arm with the remote. “Hush! I’ll have you know that my students love me.”

I nodded, chewing. “So I’m a shitty student after all.”

“You are not. There’s a learning curve to chopsticks too, ya know.” Josh took another bite of his dumpling then leaned forward, peering at the TV. “Okay, so–what’re we watching?”

I followed his scrolling through our shared list of choices while I tackled the orange chicken. “What about that one?” I asked when he paused on the title Devil’s Ground. “It looks pretty obscure. 1983, a director I’ve never heard of, looks grainy and weird.”

“It’s been on our list forever,” Josh said, clicking the play button. “Let’s give it a shot.”

The movie really did turn out to be obscure–the protagonist was a teenage girl who finds an old well in the middle of the woods and climbs down into it, for some reason believing that her missing brother would be down there. Josh and I chided about the already well-known fairytale parallels, except in this movie the girl encountered creatures in the world beyond the well even weirder than those in Alice in Wonderland or Labyrinth, and ended up having to get betrothed to some menacing demon, played by a giant puppet, to save her brother. Then she and her brother kill the demon and find their way out of the strange world and back in their world.

Josh laughed loudly as the movie came to an end. “That was ridiculous. One of the best ones we’ve seen so far.”

“Those puppets were something else,” I commented, watching the credits roll and hoping everyone on that production went on to do better things. “The little blue one with teeth was my favorite.”

“Why didn’t they just get a real actor for the demon?” Josh asked, shaking his head. “Good god. It was a travesty but also kind of brilliant. I could show this to my students to demonstrate the use of close-up shots.”

“The close-up on the puppet demon when he was being slaughtered seemed unnecessary.”

Josh got up and stretched, gathering all of our plates and silverware and his chopsticks. “It really was. You want me to do the dishes?”

I turned the TV off and followed him, carrying in our empty drinks. “I thought another part of our Friday night tradition was saving the dishes for the next day and we can argue about it then.” 

“No argument. You get to do them since I got the food,” Josh said as he set the plates into the sink with a clatter, then pinched my side. “Deal?”

I giggled, shrinking away from his ticklish touch. “Deal.”

“Anyway, my darling,” Josh began to say, twirling away from me and to another kitchen cabinet. I watched, amused at how he always struggled to reach far enough up to get the wine glasses. “There’s a full moon tonight. Let’s go see it.”

“What? There is?” I asked, trying to peek at wherever it may have been through the kitchen window, our third-story apartment giving us a halfway decent view of the sky most of the time. That was one of the few perks of this place–we’d moved in last year, sizing up so I could have my “office” and enough space in general for both of us to not be completely on top of one another–though Josh never complained about that–but the building was old and lacking a number of things, namely outdoor space. Our little balcony was all we had anymore. 

Josh trailed out, wine glasses tinkling in one hand while he held the mostly full bottle of red wine in the other, and I followed again, feeling a sense of eagerness for the night sky which I hadn’t felt in, well, about a month. Our life together was full of tradition, I had come to realize in time, and a viewing party of the full moon whenever possible was certainly one of them. I’d just been too wrapped up in Alaskan cruises to remember this one on the calendar. 

The night air was chilly–a tingle ran down my spine and Josh noticed this as I sat down next to him on the cushioned bench we’d garbage-picked right after moving in. He skillfully and quickly poured each of us wine, set the bottle down and wrapped his free arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. 

“It’s gorgeous,” he declared, his voice as rich as ever but a softness brushed through those words. I always loved whenever he got so starstruck over something that he couldn’t help but be concise. 

“It really is,” I agreed, pulling my gaze away from Josh’s equally–if not more so–gorgeous face to take in the huge globe of bright cool white above us. “I can’t believe I forgot about it. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know what planet I’m on.”

Josh laughed, light and affectionate. “You’re on planet earth. It’s disappointing sometimes, I know, but if we weren’t here, I’m not sure we’d be able to see the moon and the stars like this.”

I took a drink, already lulled by Josh’s voice and his warm, strong arm around me. He’d always been strong, considerable muscle secure beneath silky tan skin, but he’d gotten stronger still; the muscles had become even more obvious and I sometimes poked fun, and a little bit of envy, at him for being a “hard-body” because, well, he was. I’d learned to memorize the curves and lines of his body throughout the changes, tracing every plain and valley with my fingers whenever I had the chance.“Probably not, no. We’re really lucky after all, aren’t we?” I said, reaching up to stroke his hand over my shoulder. 

“I think we are. Especially if we can see the stars wherever we go.”

“Speaking of–earlier I was thinking about how it’s been a while since we took a trip anywhere.”

“Yeah? Well, where would you want to go?” Josh asked, bringing his wine to his lips. “Not Alaska, I assume.”

“No, not Alaska. But I don’t know, Josh, I feel like we should go somewhere soon.”

Josh took another drink, looking ahead through the darkness that was interrupted by various porch lights from the other apartments rather than up at the jeweled sky. I’d expected enthusiasm–he’d have more free time soon with the semester coming to an end and I still had a lot of vacation days left, making the whole thing easy in theory–but he was uncharacteristically quiet. 

“What?” I prodded, tugging at his wrist. 

“No, nothing,” he assured me, coming alive again with his body squirming beside me, his hand grabbing mine in reciprocity. “I was just thinking about it. We should both think about it some more.”

I returned my attention back to the moon and the stars and a memory overcame me so viscerally it actually hurt–the abandoned barn, the vast field, the endless sky hanging overhead the two of us. “Alright, let’s think about it,” I concluded, wishing that the place we could travel to was back in time. 

Josh sighed and curled around me. “I feel like a dumpling,” he said, lifting a hand to pat his stomach, and I laughed right into the night along with him.

---

Tagging no one because my list is so outdated that none of those people are even in the fandom or use tumblr anymore LOL please let me know if you'd like to be tagged in this series!

[alexanderflowerbird]

DAY 12

Ahh! Late again! I did write yesterday, mind, but I spent my evening with some of the folks in my writing group talking about one of their projects because they were stomped on some plot beats and we were working together to inspire them and come up with options for them to work with. It was SO MUCH FUN, and I'm so excited to see what they do with the story after this boost of inspiration! But literally after that? Went right the fuck to sleep lol. So here I am, having woken up at 4:30 AM to report on yesterday's progress lol.

I have curated my playlist for Blood Sun Territory, and it is really helping me get all of my ideas in order, and yesterday, I worked chronologically so I'm on chapter two of BST and Malachi is finding his way in the world, figuring out a game plan to get back to Felina and Mercedes. Along the way, he's having these small interactions and I honestly love writing stuff like this. I love an impactful moment between strangers. I love a sudden feeling of connection. I love a random act of kindness, even if the person isn't nice at the same time, because nice and kind are not the same thing.

It was such a pleasure to hang out with my friends and talk about the art we create together. It makes it all worth it to keep working, when people who's work you admire and respect are invested, and proud, and curious, and want to see you keep going. I am that person for a lot of people, but I have those people for me too, and man. What a gift it is. <3 I know I wax poetic about it a lot in these entries lol, but like, times are hard! It would be easy, had been easy in the past, to go to work, come home, lay down and despair. Having no real support can really kill a part of you that's vital to being the beautiful person you are. I'm glad I'm rediscovering this part of me after so much hardship. My love language? It's creation, baby lol Taglist: @tragedycoded @thelittlestspider @theskeletonprior @badscientist

If you'd like to be part of my taglist, please interact with this post!

His first home, temporary as it is, is the Clover Hotel. It’s old, but the property seems to be something of a dearly loved personal project, a building that could probably be bulldozed and forgotten but that someone with money to their name refuses to see it die like so many other classic old businesses in the city. It doesn’t have doors that open on their own or a pristine, sterile lobby like the big name hotels that are slowly swallowing up the market. It has a regular door that pushes in and has a twinkling brass bell over it. It has old sofas and an ancient but freshly varnished coffee table on one side of the space for guests to enjoy tall, west facing windows and a view that isn’t some dull, bricked up alley way but instead a small garden full of hydrangeas and herbs and the occasional bright pop of small sunflowers. He approaches the front desk, and smiles with what he hopes is a convincing level of charm at the older asian woman occupying the desk. She looks at him and smiles back. 

“Hello! Welcome, room?” Her accent is charmingly thick and a refreshing sound when Malachi has been so used to punchy east coast accents and traipsing southern drawls, American accents born from the very land. This woman, her name tag says ‘Suzy’, and her voice reminds Malachi that there’s a whole world that exists, not just this city or even this state. Maybe to find Felina and Mercedes, he’ll have to go across an ocean, see a whole new place. He’d never traveled outside of the country growing up. He nods at her question and imagines what it might be like if he discovers Felina has taken Mercedes to live in China. 

He only has backdrops in his mind that come from old kung fu movies and pictures in books, but it’s still a pretty thought and thanks to Felina’s impossible, unanticipated kindness, his mind doesn’t crumple up the vision and add it to the pile of scenarios where he faces total, devastating rejection. His anxiety does get a word in though as he imagines China’s sleek modern cities, its ancient misty mountains and beautiful villages. He has no idea how much it would cost for him to make it to China, he doesn’t know any words except the ones Leeroy had introduced to him when his occasional-lover had taken a turn towards understanding all things linguistics. ‘Ya know, Chinese is a pretty cool language, Malachi. It’s got a beautiful shape for every word, and sometimes, the word do sound sorta like another word, but you see that beautiful shape and you realize it’s a whole other word!’ Leeroy had been ecstatic to discover the idea of tones shortly after pondering how the symbols could be different but the words could sound so similar. Did people in China always read and speak at the same time? That didn’t make any sense of course, so off Leeroy had gone with a smacking kiss to Malachi’s brow to find out the answer. His reminiscing and daydreaming pop like a bubble as Suzy’s expression goes from friendly to neutral and guarded. She’s looking at the ID he’s given her to put on file. 

“This old, expired. I cannot use expired.” She tells him, setting it on the counter and sliding it towards him. He feels his stomach sink and is surprised at himself in his reluctance to admit his circumstance to this woman when he’d told Leslie at the bank the truth without really thinking about how she might react. It’s nothing to do with either of the women he realizes; when he’d come to Leslie, he’d had no hope at all for success and had been prepared to discover that his first day out of prison would be spent on the street with no food or help because he had no money worth noting to his name. In those circumstances, why not admit he’s a felon? If Leslie hadn’t been so kind, he could’ve dashed his chances right there and not found out about Felina’s money for him at all, let alone have a new bank card. He struggles to decide to take that gamble a second time. Now he has something to lose, though he isn’t sure what. He could find another hotel, or even seek out a shelter for the night, but he has stupidly, sentimentally looked around for the last few hours for a hotel he can temporarily call home, and he’s picked this one, and he wants to be here. 

“I–” He tries to begin. “I know, I’m sorry. I need to get it replaced, but, I…” He can feel his ribs tightening in his chest around his organs. Does he roll the dice and share something most people find repulsive and hope Suzy will understand? This history will follow him everywhere, and just now, it’s not even history, barely history. Suzy watches him stumble through his words with an unimpressed expression and then sighs. 

“You lazy?” She asks, disapproving. Malachi blinks at her. “You lazy.” She seems to confirm her opinion in his shocked expression. “Okay…Malachi.” She says as she checks the name from his ID. She taps it on the counter while she thinks, sighing again, before setting it down. “You listen okay? Outside, Treetop Street, left, go for numbers to 8th Av’,left again, down, down, down, looking for big red letter. Ah… Notary?” She doesn’t look at him to confirm if she’s chosen the right word. “Maybe. You take this,” She emphasizes it and shakes the ID at him a little, “Get new one. Okay?” Malachi nods, solemn and feeling guilty even if her interpretation of what he’s done is entirely wrong. There’s something almost refreshing to feel a new, much more innocent sense of shame. He reaches for his ID from between her fingers and she pulls it back from him. 

“Tomorrow. You sleep here tonight, go tomorrow. You remember?” She asks and the way she looks at him he knows he isn’t meant to just say yes. 

“Treetop, left, 8th Av’, left again, find the notary with the big red letters further down the street.” He repeats back to her, and Suzy makes a low approving noise before offering his ID back. She gets up from her seat and brings him a card key, perhaps the most modern part of the experience and likely an upgrade that the Clover had to make to compete with the security measures of other more modern hotels. Suzy is smiling again, beatific and pleased. 

“You enjoy, come tomorrow with new ID and you stay as long as you like.” She charms, and Malachi can’t help but smile back at her. 

“Thank you ma’am.” He says, dipping his head and tucking his old ID and his debit card back into his wallet. 

“Breakfast at 8, okay? Come.” She invites, and with a little wave, she lets him off the hook, just like that. He’d been scared, damn near terrified for some stupid reason, but a charming little slap on the wrist hasn’t stopped his momentum at all. He doesn’t need to correct Suzy’s opinion about him being lazy, he wants to though. He wants it more than the logical, necessity based want towards having a valid ID card. His room number is 12, and when he makes his way inside and takes a look at the old, charmingly floral decor, he feels a relief and gratitude that crushes him to the floor. He sits down heavily, and leans his back against the door, pressing his face into his hands. It’s a posture of despair, he knows, and it has the same heaviness to it even though it is something entirely opposite. Hope is just as weighty, just as devastating. 

[starlightkun]

genuine question, how do you write so fast? 😭 i feel like you’re so quick with your works, both writing and putting them out!!

also i found your tumblr on ao3 and i have to say that you are carrying nct fics on ao3. i hope you never stop writing cause i could be 40 and i would still read your stuff 🫶

i think a big thing has been getting out of my head abt writing! like i only write when i want to, i don't stick to word counts (minimums or maximums), and i dont compare myself to other writers (not that i read a whole lot of fic anymore, but there's a few that i still keep up with and one of them churns out fics way faster than i do, and another who posts like maybe two or three times a year but i still love them!) like i've def said this before, but for me, writing fic is fun, it's something i do bc i want to and if i open a word doc and i'm genuinely dreading it, i'm not gonna do it (my adhd brain simply will not make me lol--tho that is a double edged sword bc i do have to chase myself into doing something i like sometimes, but the ritalin has helped a lot xx)

i also dont go into my fics completely clueless anymore. like, i for sure don't know everything, i learn a lot along the way, and tend to change stuff (and get surprised by my own fics, which is always fun!), but i definitely have more of an outline and general sort of sketch of the fic in my brain and in my word doc before i start actually writing real scenes of any sort, which has definitely helped. like, starting with one little idea isn't bad at all (strawberry sunday literally just started w the fact that i liked the title of a song that i hadn't even heard yet and it turned into like 10 fics??), but i dont just start writing head empty anymore (i used to get a tiny spark of inspiration and try to write everything start to finish immediately because i thought i'd lose it if i didn't, and it'd burn really short. now i sort of just sit with it and slowly tend to it like fire instead and it lasts a lot longer and gets a lot bigger). i ruminate a lot before anything that looks remotely like a story leaves my ideas doc and gets its own doc

idk if this necessarily makes me write faster, but i also edit as i write? like, sometimes i open a fic and i don't have anything in me to write, but i'll reread what's in the draft so far and edit, make little changes, fix continuity errors, etc. not only does it keep the whole plot so far fresh in my mind as i continue writing, but then i have a lot less to proof myself when i finally finish the whole thing because i've already caught a lot of spelling, grammatical, and plot errors! i used to find editing a slog to do bc when i finished my first draft i would be so excited and wanted to just post it! and didn't want to reread all this stuff i just wrote several times to try to find typos, and now it's usually a breeze bc my first draft isn't really my first draft, it's been continually revised as it was drafted. and sometimes i open a doc, won't feel like writing, tinker around with some editing, then suddenly have a lightbulb moment while i'm editing and jump into writing

[kaufmo-is-alive]

HIII THIS BLOG IS INDEFINITELY INACTIVE

So I've been really infrequent with posting stuff to this blog, and I never gave an explanation for why. I really should have made this post sooner, but for whatever reason I just didn't until i realized i had 54 FOLLOWERS (thx btw). Even if I only had one follower, though, I'd still owe everyone an explanation.

This blog has been really fun to make. Really, thank you all for the asks! But over the course of this account's runtime, I sort of realized something: I like drawing, but not that much lol. I also don't really like this AU too much tbh, so that probably factored into my distain for drawing for this blog after a while. Or I'm just lazy. Whatever the case, I kept getting burned out, which lead to my week long unannounced breaks.

The ask blog isn't exactly cancelled, per se. I still had some interesting stuff planned and I miiiight squeeze out an update or two every once in a while, but there's no consistent schedule. Basically, don't get your hopes up for this thing ever updating lol.

Once again, I sincerely thank everyone for the support I've gotten for this blog. It really means a lot to me that people would actively engage in such a silly little thing that I mostly made out of boredom. If anyone's interested, you can shoot me an ask about the stuff I had planned for this blog if it were to keep going (under a read more, of course, in case someone cares about spoilers for whatever reason lol)!

I'm not done in the TADC fandom yet, though. I started writing a fanfiction called "The Wondrous Digital Lab", which is sort of a lab au but honestly lab in the sense that Garten of Banban is a lab lmfao. If you want to see stuff about that, I'm posting it on my main account, @badgerotter. And if you want the fic link without digging through my account, here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55976389

Finally, I'd like to mention some other ask blogs that I like and would definitely recommend checking out!

@/ask-the-rag-dolly I have no idea how anyone would not know this one, but either way I should still give a great big thank you to this blog! ATRD inspired me to make my own ask blog in the first place and is honestly just a really good story in general! So thank you, Mod Bee, for creating something as awesome, special, and impactful as you have! I'll never get tired of seeing other people try to spawn in items like they do on your blog!

@/multi-kinger-mayhem This one is so silly! Basically a bunch of different Kingers from different universes meeting each other. I really like their interactions and I'm excited to see what's coming next!

@/ai-to-alive-tadc-au This one is about Gummigoo joining the circus instead of getting confetti'd! Ironically there's more Jax in it atm, but the premise is still super interesting and I can't wait to see what hijinks ensue with everyone's favorite gators!

@/tadc-lab-au This is actually the blog that inspired my own "lab" au! If you want an actual, more traditional lab au, then this is the blog for you! The ask box is closed at the moment, but they also have a fanfiction going on, so go check it out!

[froggi1337]

Was a little anxious to post this, but here goes.

Who’s your favorite character to write?

Perhaps my favorite character to write was my Mage: The Awakening character: Jonas Moore, shadowname, “John Doe”. He was a rookie cop in the wrong place at the wrong time with his mentor and partner. They walked into a wizard trap and got their shit fucked up, Jonas surviving as unscratched as he did only because his mentor was in front of him as the entered. This awoke his mage powers, however, he awoke in a coma and spent the next week trapped in a world of nightmares. He'd wake up and vanish to parts unknown, returning anonymously with the shadowname “John Doe” some years later to investigate his partner's death. I had a lot of freedoms with that character I hadn't been able to experience through a free-form social media roleplay on Formspring (if anyone remembers that), and I think the game experience has a lot to do with my fondly remembering of this character more than anything.

An alternate take I didn't want to throw out was: My favorite character to write was perhaps Virgil Wayne in a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure roleplay called Port Holiday. It was my first positive roleplay experience after The Cards, even if it was mired by the usual internet drama that follows those kinds of open rp communities. But I digress, I look back on Virgil and the things I got to do there very fondly and I hope to find an experience half as good as the one I had there one day soon. My experience roleplaying Mage beats out Port Holiday mostly because I didn't have my own story arcs indirectly shelved by my friends in my tabletop game as opposed to the fandom roleplay which actively ignored me.

Who’s your least favorite to write?

Off the top, it's Joseph Johnson, aka, the Ace of Hearts. He's always been such a nothing bro character, and I've tried to overhaul him multiple times in the past but getting stuff to stick has been difficult. I've got so far as to consider shelving or outright scrapping the character, and giving his role to one of my more capable characters. Then again, it isn't like I haven't made progress with Joe's development... I just wish his fleshing out process would go smoother!

Who’s your favorite character overall?

This was one fluctuates quite a bit, especially these days as my little universes of characters slowly expand. But honestly, I'd be a fool if I didn't acknowledge my roots and admit I come back to my favorite dirtbag, Francis “Fran” Daniels. She's been with me since I was a wee child, and even transitioned alongside me irl and fellow mainstay OC Victoria Wayne.

Which character(s) do you love to hate?

There's one clear winner by a mile, it's Alan McGregor. I wanted to make Alan as obviously toxic with his personality as possible, for a villain like him. He's taking advantage of a lot of people and a lot of them don't even require his super intrusive telepathy powers. I lifted inspiration from the big name Republican politicians of my time (yes, especially Trump).

What’s the easiest thing to write for you?

I like to think if nothing else that I'm quite good at openers. I love to try and set decent scenes for readers, gives me a chance to build a new scene and place new and interesting characters together that likely haven't met before. What's not to love?

What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

The moment we go beyond an intro, I lose track of the story. Weaving a narrative is much harder than one might make it look. The establishing shot of the story is great and all, but I also have to write the rest of the story and that's the hardest part for me.

Do you plan everything out before you write or do you sit down and go with the flow?

No, my writing sessions have always been more impromptu; although, my goal this year's to improve my relationship with work. I want to try and actively work on planning out what I'm writing more often (not starting not lol).

What songs do you listen to get in the writing mood?

I usually put on a scramble, although suggestions are welcome! Additionally, it's really easy for me to write for Fran when I put on 'Sound of Silver' by LCD Soundsystem or Van Halen/any 80's dad rock. Alan is easier to write or otherwise plan out in my head to musicians like Kanye West or MF DOOM.

Do you have songs that you associate with certain characters?

Buddy I've debated making whole playlists lol

How do you get around a writer’s block, if anything?

Weed.

Is there a certain type of character you favor writing over the others?

The snide bad boy with a soft streak is a personal favorite of mine, I'm also a fan of guy who's a deranged bad ass in spite of the circumstances against them. I love a good underdog story!

What is one character you love but rarely/never write?

I love Tomas O'Valen! My beloved red mask wearing boy rarely sees the sun anymore, and while I'm sure that's fine and dandy for him mommy says he needs his vitamin d

Is there one character that always fights you when you try writing them?

I get a lot of resistance from Leon, I think it's because I've been kind of anxious about him being a little bland compared to everyone else. Compared to everyone else, he feels less finished but I'm not to worried. His part in the story of the world he's in comes much later.

What is your go-to ‘self-indulgent’ genre of writing (such as comfort, angst, enemies to friends, etc.)?

You'd have to find my F-List for that one, and I don't give that out to just anyone I'll have you know.

I kid, I kid. I'm very self-indulgent about fight scenes, I'm that kid always banging their actions figures together. Pushing them to their limits, seeing how much I can make them physically and mentally break each other. Plus seeing two characters at odds go against one another like good vs evil is always fine, even if the characters aren't always morally black & white. Because who cares, this motherfucker carries six pistols because he watched 'The Boondock Saints' in theaters and thought that one guy was “cool as fuck.”

What two characters did you never expect to work together?

I didn't expect Tomas and Fran to have as much equal ground to stand on. Sure, in-lore Tomas knew Francis' grandfather and father but she was never fond of those people (especially her grandpa, he was a sourpuss in his old age by the time they met). And yet, Tomas can be considered a sort of family biographer by now, having personally known and befriended 3+ generations of Fran's family.

What’s one writing weakness you want to work on?

I need more creative stamina or energy while writing, if this questionnaire has taught me anything. Once I'm started it's great, I'm on a roll and I can bang out a start in a heartbeart, most the time. However, it becomes quite clear when I start to lose steam while writing, and I want to work on that. If only to at least hide my exhaustion on paper.

Are you prone to leaving unfinished WIPs or do you strive to finish everything you write?

In hindsight, not as many one might think lol

What is one theme/storyline/idea you wish to write but never have?

Well, a FULL story is any kind of answer. But I jest, I want to write sci-fi. More specifically mecha, I absolutely adore Gundam and I'd love to build dioramas and write little stories centered around them. Hell, I'd love a shot at building my own original setting for a mecha sci-fi. I have a little bit of one Aon paper, but I put in on the back burner due to the scope being a little overwhelming for me at this stage of my writing career.

What is one story idea you have in your head right now?

Francis Daniels throws Drake Morrison in front of a train lol

Random Writer Questions

Can be for canon, non-canon, fanfics, RPs, OCs, or anything in between.

Who’s your favorite character to write?

Who’s your least favorite to write?

Who’s your favorite character overall?

Which character(s) do you love to hate?

What’s the easiest thing to write for you?

What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

Do you plan everything out before you write or do you sit down and go with the flow?

What songs do you listen to get in the writing mood?

Do you have songs that you associate with certain characters?

How do you get around a writer’s block, if anything?

Is there a certain type of character you favor writing over the others?

What is one character you love but rarely/never write? 

Is there one character that always fights you when you try writing them?

What is your go-to ‘self-indulgent’ genre of writing (such as comfort, angst, enemies to friends, etc.)?

What two characters did you never expect to work together?

What’s one writing weakness you want to work on?

Are you prone to leaving unfinished WIPs or do you strive to finish everything you write?

What is one theme/storyline/idea you wish to write but never have?

What is one story idea you have in your head right now?

&- Free slot, ask your own question here.

[tricotea]

okay so a large part of me starting this blog is that i am v inspired to share my work and plans the same way a lot of knitting youtubers and knitting podcasters do so here is my humble attempt of doing it in textpost format.... this will probs be a long post so under the cut we go !

first off i wanna start off with my fall moodboard (this idea is heavily inspired by emily from high fiber knits on yt much love to her) that i just made on canva lol

i think if i were to give this one a name it would be medieval scholar autumn lol. medieval not in the riches and jewels and such way but in the cobblestones and horse drawn carriages and those white and cream buildings with dark brown wood beams all across them if you know what i mean. it's crisp weather and chilly nights and county fairs and clear blue skies and just a very vibrant autumn. the more scholarly side of it to me is hot milk tea and browns and creams and not necessarily dark academia (bc i think that has become too oversaturated and now everything qualifies as some sort of academia esque thing and i've decided that FOR ME its cringe and i dont care.) but like books and reading and stufying and studying groups because well i neeed to romanticize school because i have to do it now. now that i am taking a class and also working i really need to keep the motivation up and like. this will help bc i love pretty pictures. another thing i was heavily inspired by was this package of milk tea flavored kitkats that had a nice red and green tartan pattern on it now i don't like red and green together it always reads christmas to me but the pattern combined with the tea really spoke to me. tbh i don't know how often i would really go for this much orange i had a very specific vision in mind when making this moodboard but i feel like the aesthetic isn't fully captured, and that's okay ! i'm trying to learn and really internalize that moments are not things to have and own, and certain feelings and blips of time and that perfect slant of light, or scent of something sweet on a cool breeze, or sky just the right shade, cannot and should not be kept forever. they are there to exist and be experienced, and if they are forgotten later that's okay. it doesn't have to be owned to have mattered. all this to say that maybe the vibes aren't exactly right and i won't wear all of these on the perfect day for the perfect vibe because that doesn't exist outside of pinterest lol. on we move.

before the patterns, a disclaimer: i will not make all of these patterns, i know this. i might not even make or finish any of these patterns lmao i have work and school and while that doesn't take up all of my time, i am still a very beginner knitter (still haven't finished my first garment lol) and do not have the skills or the money or the time to invest in all of these patterns no matter how much i want to. i have other hobbies too ! and that's fine ! honestly a lot of the reason i am making this post is because i 1 love explaining my thought processes 2 i love planning stuff and 3 mmmm categorization. big fan of ravelry bundles its my jam. honestly im not even 100% tied to the idea that aesthetics and trends and seasons (in the fashion and style sense, not the natural phenomenon) are even a good thing or something that aligns with my morals and values. i just like pretty pictures and matching things around and stuff.

okay pattern 1 and the most likely one i am to cast on is the tonight top by lily kate france! i would use malabrigo sock in the colorway ivy, as i got this yarn as a gift from my friend when she was in paris <3 not much to say about this pattern in regards to what i would do with it, i just think it would be a nice way to learn some new skills and show off the beautiful green earthy yarn. and even tho it's not bright orange lol.

pattern 2 and now we're going in no particular order is the winter's pullover by ozetta. again really nothing special about this one but i do think a hand knit cozy sweater is a goal of mine just as a knitter and this one fits the bill! can never go wrong with a thick cozy sweater in fall

pattern 3 is the honeycomb cardigan by sedna yang which again, cozy cabled cardigan can't go wrong with that. do i think i will be knitting this any time soon? absolutely not. but i do think it fits the vibe very well even tho i will not be able to purchase yarn for it lol that is too expensive for me rn

pattern 4 is the romy sweater by sandnes design and tbh i'm not sold on this one. mostly picked it for the colorwork being reminiscent of the afformentioned medieval buildings with the dark wooden beams across the outside but. well i'm not sold. it does fit in as a cozy oversized sweater but idk if it's different enough from the others to really get me to wanna make it.

pattern 5 is the cadogan sweater by lily kate france and omg i do really love this design. like overall i just feel like it fits in with the vibe really well and is still modern and fun and new and feels like something i would by at a retail store so . !

pattern 6 is these tartan mitts by carolyn kern, although i wouldn't knit the mitts themselves, just use the tartan pattern and transfer them onto some different patterns, namely : the sirius skirt by charissa (which originally has a houndstooth pattern that also fits in but i have a vision in mind) as well as a sort of cape/capelet pattern as a little matching set thing. i have 2 patterns in mind for this, the butterfly cape by sj kim and the beauxbatons academy of magic capelet by dana williams-johnson. on the butterfly cape first, i love the sleeves and how they look in the photos on ravelry, but all of them include a belt and i really don't have any belts and am not a belt wearer so i'm not sure how this would really fit into my wardrobe and how often i would wear it. it looks beautiful but i'm not sure how much i would reach for it.... it also seems like the sleeves are connected to the lower body, giving it that butterfly wing shape, but that would limit movement and well. one of my goals in life and in my style is to never wear pieces that limit movement and make me more aware of how i can and can't move my body and draw my attention to how i'm moving around in life so like. there is that. now, the beauxbatons capelet is more of what i'm looking for and it looks easier to slap a pattern on there and not have too much trouble... however it is from the official harry potter knitting book which i do not support in any way shape or form. i have absolutely no qualms about pirating the book itself and taking the pattern from there, but the idea that it's connected to jkr puts me off of it a little bit. either way both of them look like they make beautiful finished objects, i just have to decide which one to make lol (if i make any at all. out of this tartan pattern mini collection i would probs make the skirt first and go from there)

pattern 10 is the agave by tricot design mcl and what drew me to this was the drawstring detail at the front. i don't think i would necessarly knit the full garment but maybe adding the detail to something like the milly skirt by sandnes garn at the bottom hem as like a little nod to the more medieval side of my plans and aesthetic.

okay finally pattern 12 is the penny gloves by petiteknit. a classic. cute. practical as gloves for when my steering wheel in my car gets cold. a fun small fall accessory when i'm not really an accessories gal.

and that's all ! in no way am i knitting all of these, this is an aspirational thing that also is mostly for my planning brain. honestly i think i might like planning out which garments to knit more than actually knitting them. either way happy knitting !

[galaxythreads]

lore on Five out of Five is an Ideal You Can't Have please!! I love that one soooo much 👉👈

your wish is my command, anon. <3 thanks for the ask.

LORE FOR FIVE OUT OF FIVE:

it was based on this fic

I've tried to do a sensory deprivation fic for Loki more than once. This was the...third? attempt

After watching SPN, writing THor and Loki's relationship was a little easier. Taking the messy dysfunction from SPN and finding areas where it overlaps between the brother pairs was interesting

After taking a break from MCU for the better part of a year, this was the first fic that I wrote and I finished and I felt so accomplished and happy with myself....only for someone to promptly tell me what a terrible job I was doing with the characters on another fic. Made me want to sit in the shame corner, lol. Actually, that's what this venty tumblr post is referring to.

a big portion of this fic was me exploring Thor's relationship with Sif and the Warriors, trying to figure out WHY Thor was chilling with them when he was ignorant to the way they treated his brother. The reason that Thor is so desperate to keep their friendship is because of how severely he and Loki were isolated as children. The fact that anyone would willingly choose to spend time with him outside of their family is utterly baffling to him and something he's desperate to keep

I have absolutely no idea what they killed at the beginning of the fic

I started the fic in Jan of 2021 and then finished it in may 2021 after a run. I very distinctly remember coming back and just wanting to finish something. I think I was about 10 pgs in and just shoved my way through the last bit

I had actually intended for THOR to be the one who was losing his senses when I started this, but it didn't end up that way

"Ranging from books to entire tables and something that Thor suspects is some type of stove" -- this is 1000% a reference to the classic "and even the kitchen sink was there" joke, which I thought was absolutely hilarious

^^^ this is a jab at the Loki series. Most of this is a jab at the Loki series, honestly. Wait. When on earth did I write this--

Oh dear. I was already taking pointed stabs at it and it hadn't even been released yet. Well. That's embarrassing for MCU.

^^^ this was inspired by watching SPN where they would bless cursed objects and that would often fix them.

"Though the cold hadn't bothered him, Sif's continued shivering had made them stop for the night. Loki had pointed her toward his newly made flame without a word." -- this is a reference to The Weeping Siren where they were all making fun of Loki for not being able to light a fire

"Loki's not a witch, but the Norns know he gets the funny feelings of one." -- This is a reference to BBC Merlin fics, where the Knights and Arthur refer to Merlin's magic as his "funny feelings"

^^^ Loki already knew something was wrong right here and didn't say anything because Thor got angry. The effects of the cloth-thing were almost instantaneous.

"There isn't a lot that Loki won't approach if Thor has first and vice versa. Their stupidity often goes hand in hand. And Loki wouldn't even go past the doorway, despite the giant monster that was attacking them. That's…that's probably more than just a funny feeling." -- there is no loki without thor and no thor without loki and that includes them being idiots

---

"His mother has told him endlessly that one of the easiest methods to disperse curses is through fire or some other purifier. Salt sometimes works as well."

^^ i try to make a point in fics to have Thor not be completely ignorant of magic. Look. my sister is really REALLY into rocks and has infected me with knowledge of them despite my best efforts. there is no way Thor hasn't picked up something from listening to Loki rant about it for literal decades.

----

^^^ Loki knew what was happening (mostly) throughout the entire fic. He just wasn't saying anything. From the moment the cloth touched him, Loki couldn't use his magic. He didn't know what to do and he was terrified, but he didn't know how or if he should tell anyone.

---

""You should just speak up," Thor chides patiently, "I'm sure there must be something interesting underneath all of that hair," " -- shameless reference to Dean making fun of Sam's hair for all of SPN.

---

Thor sighs. "Why don't you lay down? I'll get some supplies so we can start bringing down your fever. You should have said something."

A flash of relief and gratitude flickers across his sibling's face, brief, but intense. He wasn't expecting that, Thor realizes. " --- the last time Loki received help for something was..... WHEN??? POINTED LOOK AT HIS ENTIRE FAMILY.

Also this is not me projecting my family issues into this. Nope! (it is. My family issues are everywhere in this)

---

"Thor allows him the moment of weakness, cupping a hand against the back of Loki's neck, trying to reassure him" -- I'm not sure if this is actually true, but I saw on BBC's Sherlock post that you only let people you deeply trust touch the back of your neck. I remember trying to research that as I wrote that line, lol. I never found an answer.

---

^^^ I tried to make a point of showing how differently the Warriors were handling this and Thor. Thor actually addressed the problem and SAW loki, the warriors just ignored him until he annoyed them enough. It's like. The Warriors tolerated Loki and kind of pretend this whole thing wasn't happening. I didn't want them to be complete assholes, but it was a tough balance to write. They mostly ended up being assholes, lol.

---

"Frigga smiles warmly at him, but her eyes are distant and dark. Thor looks, but isn't surprised that he can't see his father anywhere." --- ALSO making a point about how ABSENT Odin is from his children's lives. Frigga is there. Odin is just GONE.

---

"Mindlessly, Thor dumps off his part of the recovered stolen items to the palace's head of artifacts and goes to give his report to his father." --- Loki is in the hospital and he is dying. They know this. Odin is in the throne room. He wasn't busy. Thor talked with him almost instantly. Odin was in the throne room by choice and couldn't be bothered to make an appearance in the healing wing. This wasn't an accident, it was intentional character placement.

----

""If your brother had been killed, you can't imagine the realm-wide mess—" Odin releases a breath, stopping himself, -- I firmly believe that if Loki were to actually die, he would revert to his Jotun form and that would cause the realms-wide mess Odin is talking about.

----

"—a witch created that to kill her enemies quickly and painfully by removing their senses then shutting down organs. I'd only heard rumors that her enchanted objects were still around. She created more than a dozen to send to her enemies." --- I like to imagine this was one of the witches that raised Frigga. That's how she recognized it so quickly.

---

One of the few stories that I didn't end on a happy ending. It's kind of a bittersweet ending and this was intentional. I read this fic where Loki got possessed by like this mirror thing (mirror,mirror by lise, a03), and it ended as a MESS and it was so satisfying. XD

[poppyfamily]

POLL'S TIME IS UP. HERE WE GO.

#1 is the lie.

In so many ways. It was kinda true at some point. I went to a local Tumblr meetup where I was mutuals with no one but the people I came with. There was no raffle but we had games, and the signed Darren Criss EP was the prize. Quoting one of my replies - "[i] remember freaking out with my friends that /that/ was the prize bc darren criss from Starkid?!?!?!?! Glee?!?!??? SIGNED?!?!?!?! in the third world, that shit isn't distributed ANYWHERE, and shipping was much more expensive. it was such a big deal at that time." - THIS IS TRUE BUT someone else in my group of friends won the EP. Since we were all big fans, we established a sisterhood of the traveling signed EP where someone got to keep it for a set period of time before passing it to someone else. I had it for a few weeks, admired it, and ripped the CD and listened to every single track over and over again. Formative music to me tbh. It was returned to the real winner in the end though lol.

Also, I currently don't own fandom merch. I'm just not the type to buy it.

SPRAY ME. WHATEVER. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A TERRIBLE LIAR ANYWAY.

Explanation for the truths under the cut because it got long lmaooooooo

#2 is true BUT!!!!!

It isn't as crazy as it seems omg I'm having an Angela Giarratana moment because I didn't word it right or use proper punctuation and only realized how differently it could be interpreted after people started freaking out so much omg i thought i proofread my facts enough 😭😭😭 Should've formatted it like "i ran multiple twitter rp accounts all at once. they were for a celebrity couple and their non-existent child" instead.

But full story: Basically when I was 14, news broke that a certain onscreen couple was dating irl and it inspired to make accounts for each person in the couple where I tweeted reactions to things that happened in RPF as them. It was a very small fandom at the time, there was only one person posting fics about them. Twitter was a lot less curated back then and was more of stream of consciousness. People just tweeted whatever they wanted about the most mundane things. Someone asked if we'd get to find out who the couple is, but I'd rather not name them because I no longer align with them morally. On an unrelated note, 🍉🍉🍉.

THE REAL TEA THO IS I loved playing the baby the most, and pretended I was tweeting from the womb. I can still remember some jokes other rp accounts (for the show the couple was on) made about it. The operation ended after a treasured mutual from main (one may even say my bestie. they got most of the cast of the show to greet me on my birthday) called out the accounts for celebrity a and celebrity b for the immorality of what I was doing. also, i still remember their @. jeeeeeez. we were never the same after that shit afjewoijfaoiejf.

The couple did have a baby though, and I'm pretty sure we found out about it while I still had that account. No speculation on my part though, I was truly making jokes like what if ____ was pregnant and everything that happened in rpf was true (by rp logic of course) and I was a baby in the uterus experiencing it with them. E.g. They'd go on Splash Mountain in a fic and I'd tweet something like "weeeeee" the same day a fic released and somehow people got it.

For #3

i personally think more people should have voted for this despite this exact kind of thing being par for the course on tumblr.org and despite the fact that amangela is like my entire blog. /j But yeah, this is true. DM me and I'll infodump about it before i even write the actual text of it <3

@unknownteapot thanks for hosting u legend what a great way to bring the community together <3

SMOSHBLR TWO TRUTHS ONE LIE TIME !!!!

the only fandom merchandise i own is a signed darren criss "human" EP i won at a raffle

i ran multiple twitter rp accounts for a celebrity couple and their non-existent baby all at once

i'm currently trying to figure out the plot of a multiverse amangela fic

ALSO OMG PLEASE TELL ME IN THE THE REPLIES WHICH YOU VOTED FOR SJAJAJAJNA

[manic-pixie-dream-dude]

Ooo, cracked moonstone!Varian AU? I wanna hear more about that! And if it has any varipunzel elements to it, because sun and moon parings are just 👌

!!!! Thank you for the interest!!!!

This AU in its broadest strokes is me mixing all my love for var with my Opinion Saltmine over the lost potential into a "what if Varian's character and his relationship w Raps was used to its full potential and we added emotional + physical pain for flavor" concoction lmao.

(ramble as per usual under the cut. Enjoy!)

It started cus I just... couldn't get over how Var's motivation became a punchline to a joke in S3. He never got to develop or mature even though he's aged like everyone else. I also had gripes w Moon!Cass and her character/relationship development. This is me having fun while trying to rectify that.

In terms of the story, I wanted Varian to start with a shard because I really liked how it'd visually resemble his one blue hair stripe. And the idea of that shard acting as a compass pin was also a very "Aha! 💡" moment for me lol.

Personally, I think it'd be neat if the moonstone was just. Fuckt Up. if Raps had held it first, it would've mended itself permanently with the healing incantation, but she doesn't, and the result is an item that inherently embodies hurt and death, now unstable and hurting its holder.

Note: I placed the opal over Varian's heart because having something directly harm such a vital organ was interesting. With it, he's hurting but without it, he might hurt even more.

I love to put my fave character in situations where they're doomed one way or another :))

--

Also yes ABSOLUTELY there's varipunzel ajdjaksk. It was sorta inevitable that the plot ended up surrounding their relationship! oh to be celestially tethered with your friend-turned-enemy......

Though the relationship isn't like Moon!Cass and Raps. It's the opposite if anything. They're on the same side when they finally get to the moonstone, both having the full intention of fixing the opal before Raps can do her Thing.

(But then Cass' Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal further fucks w everything, but that's neither here nor there.)

The progression here is more of a slow-burn 'friends to enemies to rekindled friends to "Oh my God we just wanna hang out but Evil Bitch Diety and her goons refuse to leave us alone" to lovers'.

I mentioned this in my meta post but I don't think how quickly both were to anger made much sense character-wise. Varian is a supposedly lonely kid, he'd be more forgiving of his (all things considered) first and best friend. Raps is a compassionate and empathetic person who'd be more distraught with the progression of events.

Both of them figuring out their emotions while apart and then when together is big a part of this AU. Their relationship goes from mutual hurt to mutual understanding and a desire to try again, learn to trust again.

Plus! There's the mirroring of the arcs. The grind-my-teeth-to-dust potential that I wanna expand on. Varian grapples with making his own destiny and purpose and position amidst the chaos that is his life while Rapunzel grapples with the stress of having a set destiny while balancing her friendships at the same time.

Both their arcs occur simultaneously! They gotta have long-lasting effects on each other!! THEY GOTTA!!

Even in canon, Varian is something that stays with Rapunzel for A While. I wanna see Rapunzel give him hope for the world and inspires him to become a better person!!! And for Varian to ground her and inspires her to see the world from a different perspective and become a better future queen in turn!!!!

--

I also wanna mention the other characters! I don't care for Fook Hoot nor Shorty if I'm being honest but I do care for the rest of the gang. Specifically Cass and Eugene. In summary, Eugene being the person who can understand Cass where Raps doesn't is interesting and could really be used to develop their friendship.

Cass having a bond with more than one person would add to the shock of her betraying the team methinks. Right when you think she's finding comradery, things go to shit.

Also, she's still an antagonist/antagonist-adjacent, but driven with fear abt raps fully abandoning her if she finds out abt the whole Gothel thing rather than anger. Again.... doesn't make sense for it to be the main emotion when there's Other Stuff going on. This is a long way to say I'm smacking some abandonment issues onto her.

--

But yeah! That's the gist for now. I really hope I get to make a whole post with the actual plot some other time, I've got Many Thoughts for this AU.

Thanks a bunch if you read up until this point! As a gift, here's wip:

[icyteaa]

AlbeCale Headcanon

[Vampire x Angel]

Inspired by this post

Their first encounter was when Alberu needed to run a mission where there were a lot of people dead. It's such an ordinary day since the medieval century has never been nice to humans who live there. Kill or killed, the existence of demon and vampire in the shadow, everything was the same as Alberu just sighed when he set off his destination to the mansion where everything happened.

But then he found there was someone who was standing tall while looking towards the corpses. There was someone who survived such a tragedy that runs in the mansion that got attacked by vampires. No, survive was such an imprecise word to describe the hollow and void expression the young man has as he froze in his place.

Let alone there was a wound in his neck that implied he had been infected by vampires and become one of them forcefully. It was an unfortunate event when Alberu thought about it, but it didn't make him pity enough to even bother talking to him. So Alberu just did his task to guide all the souls that had left their bodies to the underworld where everything would be decided, before he left the place. Left the red head alone with his own agony.

But Alberu was curious. Since Cale, the name of survivor of the tragedy (he learned about it when he looked towards their files when he arrived at home to make a report) was forcefully become one of vampires, what would he do after this? Since he had become the race who killed all his family members, what is he gonna do from now on? Will he try to get revenge or will he just lay low because he knows he is weak? That question ran in Alberu until he finally decided to come to the mansion again one more time.

Alberu didn't expect to find all the corpses were gone and grave with tombstones made a line in front of the mansion. It was not appropriate enough to call it a grave, but still better than nothing nevertheless.

Then he found the young man—again—standing in front of the graves with an empty expression. Alberu had seen thousands of times how humans would react when the ones they love died. Cry, grief, sadness, all of it is always expressed on their faces. But the man was just standing still. His suit and hands were full of dirt and blood. It looked like the young man buried several corpses by himself.

Something more unexpected, the young man looked towards him when Alberu was in the state where no one could see him except his own kind. Cale was expressionless when he clearly said, "You are here again."

It caught Alberu off guard at first, but he then let himself be seen while giving the man a wide smile. He didn't know why, but his mouth just came out with sentences that are really different from the reason why he came back here before, "Will you stay here or do you want to come to my place?"

It was not something so drastically different for Alberu to have a housemate though since he lives in a big place. He let Cale sleep in the room on the first floor since he barely used it and all his stuff was on the second floor. Although it's surprising too that Cale just agreed with his sudden ask to come to his place, Alberu thought it was because Cale needed a place where he could forget what had happened. Far away from the place that has now become a graveyard for his family.

Cale rarely goes out of his room. Alberu thought he had a different way to express his griefness. Sometimes Alberu will check him out just in case something happens and most of the time he finds Cale sleeping for a long period of time. It was intriguing to observe since usually humans who just become vampires would go wild while craving for blood. But in his case, Alberu never saw Cale going wild and drinking blood since he got infected. Without Alberu even realizing, he will seek Cale's presence from time to time so he can observe him.

One day, Cale looked so weak and sick. It's known that vampires have pale skin, but that time it looks worse. His breath was heavy and he sweated so much. Alberu found this just because he came to observe Cale again in his room. Cale never complained or said he was hurt.

Alberu thought maybe that was happened because Cale suppressed his instinct to drink blood even if vampires needed that to life, especially him, who was not a vampire from the beginning. They barely had a conversation with each other, but Alberu found himself worried about Cale's situation.

It's impossible to bring someone so Cale could drink their blood since Alberu couldn't harm just any creatures as an Angel, and he knew Cale himself wouldn't want to hurt somebody only to his own accord. Alberu then remembered the human he just sent to the underworld after getting attacked by a beast in the forest. He brought some of the blood from the human to Cale. Bloid from the death body isn't the best blood for vampires, but still better than nothing.

"Drink this." Cale barely opened his eyes to see a glass of blood shoved to his face, but he quickly shook his head. Alberu sighed and helped Cale to sit in his bed properly, "I get this from a human who just died. No one gets hurt, so just drink this if you still want to live."

Cale drinks the blood and gets better after a few hours. Since then Alberu will bring a portion of human blood that just died to give it to Cale. Not often, just so Cale doesn't fall sick like before. But there is nothing like compromise or a deal. Sometimes Alberu finds himself weird if it comes to something related to Cale.

Cale too found this weird and one day asked him why Alberu did this for him when they sat opposite to each other in Cale's room. (After the event, Alberu finds Cale always spacing out while sitting on the couch when he isn't sleeping. Alberu took the initiative to talk to him first, and now it's like their activity to have a few conversations going on once in a while after Alberu takes care of his duty as an angel).

Alberu couldn't answer Cale immediately since he didn't know the answer either. He laments why he brought someone to his house even if it's nothing like pity or sympathy. He knew a lot worse tragedy than the one Cale experienced, but he had never done this thing he did to Cale until now. He just did it. Alberu couldn't find any better answers. So that is his answer.

Alberu awkwardly scratches his cheek after Cale giving him long stare, he decided to approaching Cale and gives him a light pat in the head a few times before said, "Well, it just happened, so don't need to think about it too hard. Just remember what I did for you and pay me back later." Cale stared at him with a clueless expression and made him sigh. "For now, just stay healthy and live long, so we can have more conversation, alright?"

Maybe that's it. As a creature whose what he is doing and the purpose in his life has already been decided before he even lives, he just wants to feel and do what others do. Especially humans that he always observe. Talking with others, having conversations that aren't related to his duty, and maybe… a friend.

Alberu is getting goosebumps because of his own thoughts. It was the cringiest line he ever thought in his life up until now. He never imagined that the day he could think such sentimental words would come after thousands of years of his life.

But strangely enough, the feeling he felt after realizing he might have someone he could call a friend was more pleasant than he ever thought it would be.

Next chapter

Note: I just want to warm up and make a light headcanon.... But there are more moments I want to write from this au lol. Maybe I will write part 2 of this.