#lol sorry this is all very stupid but I'm feeling a lot of things rn. back to work I go

[skrunksthatwunk]

idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.

the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.

yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.

but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?

this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.

yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.

i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.

so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.

because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.

he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.

but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.

yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.

[prettyokwizard]

Not gonna lie folks sometimes I feel like the art I make is pretty frivolous n futile. But then I have to remind myself that it can really brighten someone's day, even for a little bit, and then it's all worth it again.

[our-queer-experience]

i wish their was more trans 4 cis rep. genuinely.

i know a lot of people feel safer with other trans people, but honestly given my experiences i simply don't. they have just as much potential to use your identity as a weapon to disrespect and abuse you and it gives me no peace of mind to know i'm with s trans person. todays "oml i love my bf" is tomorrows "idk i just kinda think your [whatever gender they want me to be instead]"

and i know thats dumb bc like who cares lol but idk. i have a non LGBT bf rn who isnt the most educated on the community (but super supportive, i'm not keeping him ignorant. he is respectful and very open minded.) and he is the sweetest person i ever met.

"oh your gender experience is [confusing as thing most people harass me for cuz its the 'wrong' way of being trans]? okay i mean im kinda confused but i still love you"

^!!!!!

like theres something so sweet and wholesome and just HEALING about being in a relationship with someone that truly cares for you, not in spite of but WITH your queerness and all. its beautiful. and the fact theyre not LGBT just adds a layer of "i am not only lovable by people who experience the same as me" that makes me feel so good man.

idk this is dumb but basically: the dynamic of cis x trans culd be so good yall really sleep on it. everyone heres that and has the same stereotype in they head they have with bi womens boyfriends.. its gross!! queer people are capable of being loud and proud while in a relationship with someone who isnt queer. queer people can be in a relationship with a non queer person snd be loved.

i just really wish this got like. any more rep than it does but for some reason its basically looked at as "betraying" the community which is so fucking stupid stg. :((!!!

anyways yea. sorry for the dumb rant peice i guess haha

i feel like a lot of people hold t4t on some kind of purity pedestal of like. it eliminating your risk of getting hurt(the same way people do with wlw relationships) and yeah i think its generally speaking safer but like. cmon guys.

[megabuild]

bit of a ramble below! tl:dr; i have insane person problems and realised that this blog isn't healthy for me so won't be coming back until i'm in a better place, i have no intent on deleting it but may password protect it in the coming days for my own peace of mind :P love yall!

the absolute basics on my situation is that i almost certainly have OCD, have been vocal about this likelihood in the past, and while i was aware i was susceptible to obsessions and compulsions irt online interactions and my posts on here i was not actually aware of how debilitating the effect this was having on my life was until i went completely cold turkey and blocked tumblr from all my devices. like genuinely night and day. i have so much more free time when i'm not spending it constantly name searching on every platform available and scrolling through my blog over and over to be sure that i didn't post a slur by accident lol. i'd rather not get into some of the stupider details of shit ive done in the name of perceived moral purity because that's nobody's business but trust me when i say it was like a weight got lifted off my fucking shoulders lol like i was having regular delusions about making a post so bad grian himself would say i should kill myself on stream and believing it was possible 😭 really good disorder guys i love having this

i have a lot to say about the way this community treats each other, both good and bad, but i think i'd rather hold off and make more informed and thought out posts on that when i'm not still reeling from all the bullshit life's been throwing at me. i do love and value this community so much, especially all the mutuals and friends i've made here. i've also been made extremely uncomfortable in the past by the easiness that people slip into very strange relationships not just with CCs but with their fellow bloggers. including me ! and i am a relatively small blogger in the vast scheme of things. this is no hate to anyone who's sent an anon or whatever, many of you are lovely people, but it's also like, well i have been literally stalked on this blog before so i feel i have justification for being a tad uncomfortable . again, a lot to be said on the celebritification of average people and the obsession on making sure one makes "Objectively Correct" choices when doing something as simple as watching a minecraft series and having opinions on it .. but alas, no brain for it right now, and also i would rather not risk the ire of twitter teenager #48 lest i be qrted by thumbnail artists telling me to lighten up and accept the steady decay of all that is good in this sphere in order to make room for more #Content. Sit down and eat your yaoibait you stupid faggot! sorry this is a serious post ignore that part

to any of my beloved oomfies you are free to message and ask for my discord though i am also being a bit difficult to reach over there rn my bad (and i may not get back to you quickly because as soon I post this I am logging straight the fuck back out).. i have made a separate tumblr account from this one which is less social media and more a little archive of images and art i like (and also is not related to mcyt at all, outside of maybe one or two art reblogs if i see something that really catches my eye) so if we've hung out and you don't exclusively post mcyt you might see me around in your notifs but i'd prefer not to be linked back here. any projects, fics, other blogs etc. i have been working on consider on pause for eternity, with the only exclusions being 3rd life miraheze (which i'm currently looking into options for but will certainly never go away! much love still to all our contributors who have worked tirelessly through wild life to update our various spreadsheets and tables) and aoyuer which i'm sort of picking up and taking away and hitting with hammers until it's sufficiently divided from mcyt and i can call it an oc story for real. peep my toyhouse if ye are so inclined and wont tell the adoptbrained callout squads over there that my oc once upon a time was lowkey rpf.

anyway this has already gotten far too long as i'm a chronic yapper and overexplainer but thank you very much for hanging out with me and talking about these stupid ass blocks. i have a handful of posts in the queue i wont be getting rid of and don't doubt i will come back to chat more shit in future but at the end of the day i'm here to have a fun time on the computer and i just was not having that anymore. i was having a scary and fucked up time on the computer, and life is too short to put yourself through that out of some butchered sense of responsibility to the niche follower base you've cultivated. if you also have ocd delete your blog as soon as it hits 1k like actually. if you worked in the askbox mines and are now facing redundancy then go follow my enemy thecoolerliauditore. or dont im not your boss anymore. im too busy homebrewing my 3ds. smooches mwahs !!!!!!!!!

[sharkboywrites]

HIII If you're accepting requests rn I'd love to ask for something done! Floyd leech x autistic (preferably trans, but it's okay if not as well!) male reader! basically I'd love for my fave character to comfort me lol,,, Like... bodily affirmations, squeezes, lots of sweet kisses... maybe some crying... Idk!! just go with whatever comes to mind! (sorry if too vauge, I feel sooo braindead rn XD)

yah ty if you get around to this!!! it'd make my days so much better, I've already read all the stuff in the floyd x male reader tags so I'm feeling so deprived of good n' comforting content aughhh....

Bad Days

Floyd x autistic trans male reader

A/N: So funny thing I wrote like half of this and then my app reset so I have to rewrite almost I’ll of it :,) but anyways this is also kinda a comfort fic for me because I’ve been dealing with a lot of sensory issues and transphobia lately , along with being borderline denied an autism assessment so this is a fic for both of us anon

Trans male reader, autistic reader, dysphoria, sensory issues, autism meltdown, non sexual nudity

Days like these are tough. From the moment you woke up you could tell that something was wrong. It starts with the clothes. The shirt and jacket just feel wrong.

But there’s nothing else to wear so… you wear it. Then it gets worse in class. The temperature is just too much, and it makes your clothes feel so much worse, like you want to just scratch at your skin until the feeling stopped.

The noises the people make around you are unbearable. The gum chewing, the lip smacking, all of it is just to much. It makes you want to tear your hair out and rip your ears off.

The lights are too bright and everyone is just so loud, it’s starting to feel like your getting a migraine, like you just can’t take it anymore and start screaming at any moment.

And of course somehow these feelings just make you more aware of your body. You’re suddenly hyper aware of your chest, your waist, your face, even your voice. It’s all too much.

Luckily, when you first came to Night Raven Colege, you thought ahead about this. It was important for your teachers to understand your situation, diagnosis or not.

Crewel was aware of your situation, and with one look you’re able to slip out of class. You rush back to your dorm as quickly as possible, suddenly grateful that classes were going on so nobody could see you. You can’t help the whines that slip from your throat as you desperately try to hold yourself back from completely breaking down into a mess of screams and cries.

You’re able to quickly make it back to your dorm, locking yourself in your room and throwing off your uniform. Sure, being completely naked almost in tears in your dorm room isn’t the most flattering thing, but you just had to get that stupid uniform off.

Rubbing down the worst feeling parts of your body, you’re able to calm down enough to dig out your favorite clothes and throw them back on, even if they not be in the best state. You just need them right now.

Being able to use any type of noise cancelling headphones or earbuds helps calm you down a little bit more. Just having them in, even if you’re not playing anything, it helps get all of the noises from the day out of your head.

A drink of water also helps. In very few gulps you’re able to swallow almost an entire bottle of water. You lay down in your bed, breathing heavily as you start to calms down in a safer environment.

As you lay in bed, you can feel your soft blanket in your feet, rubbing them back in forth to get a nicer sensation than what you were feeling for most of the day.

Taking a few more sips of water, completely finishing off the water bottle, you take your stim toy of choice. You have all of your favorite options thanks to everyone at NRC giving them to you. As you fidget and play one of your favorite videos, you start to think. You managed to slip out of class, and you didn’t even hurt yourself or make a complete mess of your room. At least that’s some progress.

You’re cut off by your thinking by a knock on the door. Not able to form words at the moments, you pull yourself out of bed and peek out of the door.

Standing there is your tall, rather intimating boyfriend.

“Eh? Shirmpy what happened? You just left class so suddenly…”

He has his usual playful drone to his voice, but you can tell the slight hint of concern, a difference you’re sure only you and his brother can notice.

You stay silent, just giving him a pained look and hoping he understand. He does.

“Not talkin’? Alright… you want me to stay?”

You’re able to give him a small nod, and he walks right in and practically jumps onto your bed, making grabby hands at you, his mood doing almost a 180, as he usually does.

You could always depend on Floyd to understand what you’re going through. He also has his fair share of his own mood swings and tantrums, he’s never judge you for your own.

You walk back to bed and slowly slink into his arms, leaning against his chest comfortably. Floyd was somehow never too hot or too cold to cuddle with. He was somehow always the perfect temperature no matter what you were feeling. It almost feels like he knows how to control his own body temperature on purpose.

He squeezes you tight, not as hard as he does when he’s mad at someone or intentionally trying to hurt them, but a real, genuine hug. And it’s perfect. Others would complain that his squeezes are way to tight, but to you it’s perfect. He’s almost like a weighted blanket. You’re glad you make him feel safe enough to hug you as hard as he wants with genuine love.

He snuggle close to you, leaving soft kisses on his he top of your head and cheek, but not anywhere that may be uncomfortable in your overstimulated time. He’s mindful of where exactly he’s touching you, he knows what parts don’t want to be touched in these moments, even the most obscure ones.

As the two of you snuggle and watch whatever you chose to put on, he mutters sweet things to you.

“I love yooou.” “My boyfriend….” “My boy.” “So handsome”

It seems like he’s in a lovey mood now. Even with his sudden switches, he always seems to know the right things that you need to hear. He also checks up on how you’re feeling.

“Are ya comfortable?” “Feelin’ any better?” “Are you too warm?” “Do ya want your stuffed animal?” “Want me to move my arms?”

When you aren’t talking, the both of you are in a comfortable silence. It starts to become hard to keep your eyes open after the day you’ve had combined with the cozy environment with your boyfriend holding you tight.

Eventually, you can’t fight the exhaustion anymore and feel yourself starting to drift. Before you fully fall asleep, you feel a soft kiss on the top of your head and the arms around you squeeze just a bit tighter.

“G’night Shirmpy, sweet dreams…”

Aaah I love writing comfort fics. Usually my head cannon style posts do better than my actual fics so I guess I’ll see how this goes. Also this is based on my own experience with autism, so if it doesn’t fit you I’m sorry, Ty for reading and have a nice day

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

hi I need you to know I physically cannot be normal about this fic like I see the update notification in my mail and I start having HEART PALPITATIONS its insane

I will forever appreciate how well written it is too, the realism of kenny just being some guy who despite being immortal isn't like super particularly skilled or emotionally put together is... GOD, mwah. chef's kiss. I especially LOVE his slightly twisted sense of morals like. he's not perfect. he's not doing it for just anyone but he's fueled by the sympathy he feels for the people around him that he knows like his sister, his friends, his boss, fucking BUTTERS ohh lord. I love a flawed hero. he can be a little selfish as a treat

AND BUTTERRSSD OH MY GOD I love his stupid business persona. the scene where he gives that fake ass smile to kenny never leaves my mind and I love him SO!!! MUCH!!! he's like a caged animal when he's aroundkenny it's so ghhhh IT'S SO REAL!!!!! and I love his methods for being an insane little guy too like CAMERAS??? TASERS??? SCAMMING??? ECONOMY WRECKING??? THIS IS WHAT CHAOS WAS MEANT FOR

it genuinely puts the fantasy of heroes and villains in such a real perspective that makes it feel that much more intense and like you can connect with it easier and I'm just. ugh. I eat it up every time I love you and your work thank you for all the time and effort you put into it, I can only imagine how hard it is as someone who is literally procrastinating writing a fic by writing this rn LOL

brother you have been in my inbox. for fucking weeks. i'm so sorry but also i've been rereading this so often it's embarrassing JASDHAK HELP THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS JESUS CHRIST

ok long post ahead bc you say a lot of things here that i wanna get into regarding character & story writing😁😁😁😁

The fact that Kenny feels like a realistic guy to you is just so <33333333 the absolute JOY that it brings me. I feel like I don't see enough depictions of him going into his flaws, not just his struggles. Kenny is a very kind-hearted guy, he's very empathetic and he is a huge softie and awesome friend, but the circumstances of his life I see in various instances have made him apathetic to lots of things he deems out of his control, and, on the flip side, hyper-controlling of the things he feels like he CAN control.

"From Dusk Til Casa Bonita" is one of those instances; he's obsessed with keeping Karen safe (probably because no one has ever taken care of him in the way he needed), and he goes to great lengths to even control her social circle without letting her know HE'S doing it (she doesn't know KENNY is her guardian angel!!). This is such a nuanced flaw that makes perfect sense for Kenny and his background and everything life has thrown at him, and I love exploring these less-than-ideal aspects of him and play with his twisted morality, even if it's fueled by love. Idk i could go on and on about Kenny's morals, I'm so happy that's something that stuck out to you in the fic <333

About Butters-- "he's like a caged animal when he's around kenny" is SUCH a good way to put it. I can't get too deep into his character for now bc his pov in the story carries an inherent spoiler for chapters that aren't out yet🤭🤭🤭 But yeah, in the scenes we've seen him in he wasn't prepared to see Kenny AT ALL so he's stuck in a limbo between the happy boy he used to be when Kenny was around and the twisted, unhinged and ruthless person he is now. Zero attachments to anyone, beaten and chewed and spat back out by life. It's one step away from the actual Vic Chaos in we see in canon

and "CAMERAS??? TASERS??? SCAMMING??? ECONOMY WRECKING??? THIS IS WHAT CHAOS WAS MEANT FOR" I FUCKING KNOW RIGHT?????????? Butters has so many skills that in my opinion, if used well, are INFINITELY more scary than any physical damage he could cause. He's shown to be an insanely smart guy, with a knack for everything statistics, networking, money, technology, ... These are modern ways we see large-scale crimes in real life nowadays, and no one is ever prepared for them. I just couldn't get the idea out of my head, i HAD to write a fic where Chaos was all that ajhsdajhgdjka I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR EXCITEMENT ON THEM!!!

"it genuinely puts the fantasy of heroes and villains in such a real perspective that makes it feel that much more intense and like you can connect with it easier" like hello????? THANK YOU???? ARHGHGHGHG this is how i feel like about the show "The Boys" which tbh was also in part an inspiration for this fic so it makes me really happy that this is what it evoked for you.

Anyways jesus christ idk man thank you so much for this ask, idk I'm very insane about a lot of these aspects and I hope you don't mind a little unstructured yapping in response ajshdjaskja TYSM FOR THIS ASK <333333 i hope your writing is going well!!!!!

[shadale-s-safe-space]

What was Z and AleX's first kiss like? Was it really awkward or more romantic?

(Ps. I love your artstyle! It brings me so much joy to look at it :] )

First of all THANK YOU A LOT, I LOVE YOU PEOPLE SO FUCKING MUCH, at this point you guys are my enablers for this stuff.

Idk on what kind of drugs I am but every page that I've drawn looks fucking hilarious to me. I just can't stop laughing over it, especially the one where Z holds a flower up. I've been legit laughing to tears every time I look at it idk why. Also sorry for fucking up the kiss I tried I guess.

Okay so Z has a history of bad relationships in his past, when he asked AleX if they could hang later he meant in a friendly way more than anything. In reality he wasn't that interested in her. But while they were talking AleX had been sending him mixed messages, she seemed annoyed, not interested in what he was talking about. He kinda felt like he was bothering her more than anything. Kinda feeling like his friendship request is being rejected, just as he was about to say " Sorry for bothering you, I'll leave" she turns to him and asks if they could see each other tomorrow. Surprised by her request, he says yes anyway, maybe she just wasn't feeling like hanging out today.

Tomorrow comes, and he actually shows up and sees a completely different person in front of him. She was jumping, happy, maybe even overjoyed, she was all over him. Confused by this, he wasn't sure what he was getting himself into.

He finally realizes he wasn't asked to come hang around he was asked on a date. He swears she didn't blink once while looking at him.

Eh whatever, he'd been trough worse and a lot of one-offs before, since he wasn't even that interested he decided to just be himself and at least have a fun time. If the date is what she wants, a date she will get.

And in fact, they did have fun, maybe more than he was expecting, even thought he managed to do one or two stupid things.

Oh. Whoopsies, sorry.

You don't have to say sorry every time.

It was kinda weird that Z was apologizing for very small things, it was new to her, No one ever apologized for doing worse. But it felt nice, Z appreciated her forgiveness a lot, and actually felt comfortable being himself for once.

Everything was great untill....

He doesn't know why, but he just had an urge to pick one.

Not understanding why he even picked a flower in the first place, he gives it to AleX, eh whatever girls like flowers.

Bro I can't this image is funny af I can't breathe fuck literally cryin rn.

Okay... he wasn't expecting that reaction.

She can't be serious about this, I mean, he's known her for like a day or two.

But he did have a good time with her, didn't regret a moment they've spent together. Maybe he does like her after all.

She fell in love the moment she saw him, he fell in love with her on their first date.

THEN ROBO GOD DROPPED FROM THE SKY WITH A SICK ASS LOOKING GUITAR AND HIS BAND OF ROBO ANGELS AND THEY PLAYED STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN WHILE ROBO JESUS EVEN FLOWED ON A SKATEBOARD AROUND THEM.

I DECLARE IT AS CANON

Lol sorry the images look ugly af I legit can't. What have I done. I'm in tears omfg.

[death4myluv]

bsf lore. warning, it's not crazy and prob therefore boring

I met my bsf when I was 3 yrs old. we were both at a princess class (don't ask). one of the actors thought me and him were siblings when we didn't know eachother. after that we were buddies for the whole day. our mom's exchanged info. turned out she was almost a yr older than me and lived a town over, someplace my family and I never needed to go. me and my bsf never would have met if not for this class.

Anyway, I can say I do not remember living without them. I don't remember my life before we were best friends. they have been my only bsf. we have known each other now for 14 yrs. I hope to keep knowing them 4ever.

we have never fought. not even as kids. no arguments over toys or different games to play (tho I did get very annoyed when she didn't want to play pretend horror lol, sure she had those moments w me too). the closest thing to an argument w him I remember was when he made me feel not smart by bragging abt school, and I cried to my mom abt it, and my mom brought it up to him and he started crying. but as soon as that happened we were hugging and saying sorry and it was over. that's all.

I have not gone more than a month without seeing them for as long as I can remember. this became rlly rought when they graduated last spring. now they live 8 hours away and I went all of fall without seeing her. :( I gen believe that the absence of her in my life played a huge role in my mental breakdown, but I will never tell her that.

Anyway I am pretty much in love w her. probably, idk. for the past year everytime we hang out I'm thinking abt how good a life w her would be. we have so much in common, seriously, and I want to spend the rest of everything in wtv way they'll allow me to for the rest of my life.

I see him as the kindest most selfless person in my world. I would have kms by now if not for him. I have had a few vivid nightmares where he takes his life, I can gen say that those r the worst dreams I've had. we have both struggled w a lot of the same mental health issues, thought I think mine might be more severe in the present. I'm always worried that they are actually like me rn. I'm always worried that I'm putting to much on them by having my problems. but if either of those things were true I would do anything to alleviate it. I can also gen say that seeing her cry makes me cry. like fr, not metaphorically; literally.

and in these past few months of terrible depression, all I rlly want is him. which doesn't make much sense, bc we never get thst emotionally intimate with eachother, but it's true. I've had to rework some of my future college plans bc I js can't do this shit how it is and I think being around them would help so much. in my world, I see them as my other half, even if I'm not theirs. and ig I'm okay w that. i do have some jealousy issues regarding her, but wtv.

ahh this is so stupid. I js don't know

the last time I saw them, when they came down for Thanksgiving, we went on a walk in the snow. they were so beautiful. I realized some things.

if the opportunity to date them presented, I wouldn't. it isn't the time for that yet. it's too.. special, ig, to not wait. I don't think that'd go well. I don't even want to do that. but I do really like the idea of trying when we are older and stable and can make smth work, like I imagine.

idk if I love them like that, but I do love them. i'd choose them everytime

[izvmimi]

mimi if you don’t mind me asking a job related question, may i? first of all i’m sorry your department chief if being such a dunce. if you’ve already planned for the time off, then enjoy it! life is so unpredictable, control what you can to do what makes you happy!

second, i don’t know if you’ve mentioned it before but what’s your speciality and how has your residency been? i’m someone who’s starting the path to medicine myself and sometimes i feel like it’s too late, i’m already in my mid twenties and my friends that i know that have gone to med school are already on their third or final years. i’d be 30-31 before i even became a resident and 35+ before i became an attending and sometimes it feels like that’s a little late, do you think it’s still worth it? i know medicine is time consuming but it really is the only thing that interests me.

dlfjmalsdfj i'm trying to be part of two departments so it's been like a super complicated road cuz i'm not only trying to have a dual appointment (because i'm going to be double boarded) but a lot of admin stuff changed so it's really been such a thing

but anyway! you didn't ask for all that

here's the important stuff:

for context, i went to a med school that was honestly quite highly ranked without doxxing myself and a good portion of the incoming class my year was nontrad- as in they were not straight out of college, and many had other careers first

the oldest guy i think was in his 30s but a good portion of those people were in their late 20s, including one guy who started med school at 29 and went into cardiothoracic surgery for residency so he'll truly be in training forever but like honestly you start to practice even when you're in residency and it's lifelong learning

you also have to account for the fact that mdphds are also like 4 years older than everyone else!!!

it's not uncommon at ALL for residents to be in their early 30s when starting, in fact that's more typical lol. yes i graduated residency at age 30 but i'm actually the youngest of my graduating class and definitely in the younger quartile nationwide for this specialty, most of the 3rd years who were traditional med students are my age rn

residency was honestly very good for me but i matched well in a chiller specialty. radiology is not physically taxing, it's more intellectually taxing than anything to make up for the less long hours, but you do have to be relatively good at studying even more so than the average medical student and efficiently so. you also basically spend a shit ton of time being independent in a way you don't with other clinical specialties (like i spend a lot of time on equal footing with attendings in other specialties, even as an r2 on call) but at the same time you constantly feel stupid because the attendings will simply always be better than you, and when you're a junior attending, the senior attendings will be better than you.

i liked radiology cuz i'm extremely curious and i like to know everything. but i sacrificed closer relationships with patients for it. i still caught up with it because of one of my subspecialties and that can be discussed more privately, but it does feel different from traditional med school rotations.

i think if you love medicine, it doesn't matter how old you are. you also really are not older in the grand scheme of things at all, like truly this is average what you've told me and like a lot of people will literally be doctors in their home country and will come and retrain in the us (my godmom did this, a fellow in my prior fellowship that's there now was an entire cardiologist and is now retraining in radiology) like it's fine

literally in your 30s you are simply starting to live no matter what people online will say, you still have SO much life to live and don't have to settle for getting in one groove for the next 50 years or so of your life. some of that could be television, some of that could be growing up in a small town, some of that could be whatever community you may have come from but there is SO much that's just beginning. so if it's medicine you want to do, do that. if it's literally anything else, please do that. you have PLENTY of time.

[farfromdaylight]

OH I AM SORRY somehow i completely did not see that you had already answered some of these lmao. anyway have some more: 9, 16, 20, 21

NO NO i got a bunch at the same time and answered them together, you just happened to double up! not ur fault at all. THANK U FOR SENDING MORE, i shall tl;dr below!

9: worst part of canon

god i could answer this for so many series, i am always full of salt about Bad Canon.

can i say "most of zero time dilemma?" i know this isn't final fantasy but oh my god, what the fuck was uchikoshi smoking on this one. i thought it was okay but not great when i played through it the first time. when @shepherdtostars played through the series she streamed VLR and ZTD for me and man, ZTD does not fucking hold up lol. like all three games have their low points (especially in gameplay/mechanics/traversal but i'm solely speaking about story here). ZTD's conclusion to the series is fucking stupid at best.

to be slightly more on topic, i have not thought dirge of cerberus was good since i was a teenager with no taste and no understanding of Decent Storytelling and Characterization. (and even then i could recognize some shit was garbage, lmao.)

16: you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

my gut answer for this is zenos, lmao. i think @anneapocalypse summed up a lot of it in her similar response (i'm on mobile rn or i'd link). i think zenos is fine in stormblood itself and his ultimate ending at the close of 4.0 is fantastically done, ties together the narrative themes, etc.

i don't feel that way about endwalker. i don't think it's earned. i struggle with it to the point that i am going to replay stormblood (i haven't replayed it since 2020) and really dig into how i feel about it for my wol's story, then extrapolate from there for an ending that makes sense for endwalker. like i'm genuinely stuck on my 80% complete endwalker fic due to The Zenos Problem.

here's the thing, i don't hate his character trope? ennui is fine for a villain motivation and it ties into the themes of uncaring imperalism that stormblood puts forward. by contrast, i really disliked how zenos carried forward after that in the story. fandaniel didn't work for me. EW zenos didn't work for me. i have no desire to replay endwalker but i've reread and rewatched the scenes enough that i don't think it'll ever really work for me.

which is fine. i know i'm supposed to be choosing violence in this meme but it's fine that This Specific Storyline didn't click. there's a lot else i like instead.

20: part of canon you found tedious or boring

FF14 is too easy an answer for this. I love the game but it has some dead boring story and gameplay structure for MSQ. i have nothing against the character (i thought she was fine) but "speak with wuk lamat" illustrates the problem perfectly no matter how you feel about her. you need variance in the actual gameplay of telling your story, or it becomes too obvious to the player.

it works fine in visual novels and in many ways FF14 is very similar to that medium, but... it's not. it's a RPG. FF14 can't really do much of interest with this kind of thing due to the nature of its setup. i don't expect the kind of genuine exploration and discovery you get in other RPGs from it because it's linear by design. but please hide the bones of the structure so i can focus on enjoying the game.

21: part of canon you think is overhyped

final fantasy vii rebirth dev. square enix

lmao.

i really wish i'd liked it. in so many ways i should have liked it. it clearly, CLEARLY worked for many people. but it didn't work for me. remake was solidly middle of the road, but rebirth? good god, what is nojima smoking these days. why is aerith singing. why is zack here. what the fuck is that ending.

sigh.

[wutheringmights]

We waited 444,660 words for the recognition to happen but now that it Has happened I don’t think I know how to deal with it Frankie. I knew it was coming but I did Not expect it to be like this.

Also fun fact: I made a little headcanon ending for this story (which sounds stupid because it is) because I already knew it was gonna rip me to shreds emotionally and let’s just say my version of the engineer coming back was a lot different than yours was lmao

Also the engineer getting out of his train, looking around and immediately pulling out a glock is perfection /j

Time to change that “Wars also does not know Time is Mask” tag Frankie

Also I doubt this has any meaning anywhere but this. This parallel.

Act 1 (Chapter 3) where Link catches Mask eavesdropping on his conversation

VS

Latest update

I’ve been holding onto that “Link already thinking ab hitting the child like 3 chapters in” thing even if it has very little symbolism in the grand scheme of things for a long time and I’m glad it kind of paid off

Sorry for scream rambling I would usually do this in comments but I can’t rn I have no laptop access and am not signed into my ao3 account on my phone so this will have to do

This fanfiction makes me want to write lyrics. I have never made a song before but I will do it just for this. This fic has me in such a chokehold, Frankie, it’s actually amazing. Thank you for all the pain you’ve caused me in the past like year or so /pos

When you put it like that, I also cannot believe it took me half a million words to get to Spirit's return lol rip

Anyway, THANK YOU!!!!! You're so sweet and I'm really happy you liked the chapter, even if it caused you pain.

That tag is an ancient artifact and I cannot remove it from the description without alerting a historical society. I want to say that I'm glad the pay off for Link wanting to hit the child went well, but that feels kinda insensitive lol

You also cannot mention a headcanon ending and NOT tell me what it is 00

[signedeclipse]

Omg I love your writing sm!!

Since I saw your requests open, could I request a matchup?

Preferably a male demon and/or demon slayer :)

I'm a 5'2" trans masc gremlin with short, side-shaven brown hair and eyes. I mostly dress in black, goth clothing and accessories (i.e., pentagram earrings, bird skull rings, chokers, etc.) but I have a hoodie collecting problem (I can think of at least a dozen I have lying around rn).

Since I have adhd, I'm very forgetful and have a bad habit of fidgeting when I'm under-stimulated and over-stimulated (they range from shaking my hands violently to scratching and biting myself, not too bad tho at most all it does is leave a few marks). I'm also introverted, preferring to keep to myself, only really talking when someone talks to me, but when I'm with people I'm comfortable with I'm pretty much the opposite, always talking and joking around and being an overall menace >:)

That said I'm always tired and can fall asleep anywhere (I'm also a huge night owl which might be part of the issue)

My love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time since I'm really vocal about how much I adore my s/o, I'm kinda clingy and quite touch starved (i mean i collect plushies ffs), and whenever I'm out of energy, I enjoy just being in their presence, doing my own thing while I recharge.

Sorry if that was too much/not enough I never know how much to put in these things lol

Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to do it/can't think of anyone who'd fit my desc :)

Anyway, take care of yourself (drink some water, eat a snack, and take a nap/go to bed depending on what time you see this) and have a lovely day/night! ♡

You got…Sanemi!

Being polar opposites, Sanemi loves you because you bring the gentle personality he hides behind all the macho attitude. He gets frustrated as fuck about stupid things all the time, and you'll just chat to him while he beats up a punching bag till it breaks, not judging him once.

He's had people try to calm him down, try to interfere and change him, but he just wants someone who likes him now and not for what they want him to be, which you are great at.

In turn, he understands your habits of scratching at yourself aren't doing  a terrible amount of harm for how well it soothes you, so he won't try to stop you aside from trying to find something for you to do so you aren't so bored.

Sometimes he just offers his arm to you, and lets you trace all the scars he has left in his skin, or fidget with his hand.

Sanemi isn't very demanding, so he'll do whatever you feel like doing. He prefers to have you there with him while he trains, though, so he's gotten used to training somewhere next to a porch where you can hide in the shade/away from bad weather.

Makes fun of you for dressing so dark, because he thinks of you as very flowery and sweet. Might say its some kind of scare tactic since you couldn't hurt a fly, but otherwise he doesn't care much for how you chose to dress yourself; so long as you are comfortable and happy.

Your hair reminds him a lot of his younger brother, and your sleepy nature only makes you two more comparable, so he feels this need to protect you in ways he couldn't his brother.

Authors Note - My last matchup and you are very similar it's almost scary! But yes, please enjoy <3

[ermuellert]

I don’t know if this is stupid but since everyone is saying that basically none of our players is in from rn, isn’t the team the problem and not the individuals? I don’t think they all suddenly forgot how to play football so the problem must be the playing together as a team??

hm... i would say, to explain our current form, that there's more complexity to our current issues? but admittedly i did not get the chance to watch our match against man city yesterday.

to name one player who is in form imo, that would be de ligt, who i think is also amazing, excellent, a miraculous signing etc

i think it's a bit of both? i don't really know what problem you're referring to, unless you mean just the general issue of us fucking flopping the last few matches or our vaguely inconsistent form prior to nagelsmann's sacking as well?

i think yes, most of our players are not in great form, which then makes it harder for us to get into the groove of things together as team. i know upa had his howlers yesterday but generally i feel better about our squad defensively than i did say several seasons ago

it's really our attack that's been the bigger issue imo? serge, god bless him, well... obviously not in form. i know leroy is controversial in the wider fanbase but god at least he fucking tries and you can see that, even if he gets very visibly frustrated. and of course, i think he is very talented (even if he's not always the most consistent) there was a brief time when coman was obviously our best winger earlier this season as well. jamal's not been looking super great lately, maybe since that last injury (poor memory, sorry) but i'm not super super mad about it since he's very young. mané ... haha. well, to be super honest, i was never really enamored with him? i think there's a lot of affection for him carrying over from his pl days... i just think that if he didn't have his past achievements, people would be farrrr more critical of how incapable he was of scoring an onside goal for ages lol. it honestly irritated me a bit. like yes, it's funny! but also you're a fucking experienced striker. holy shit. he's basically useless imo and does not contribute. choupo come back. please. hurry. i beg. thomas is like beloved royalty but even then of course he disappears from time to time... he's not going to save us every single match.

and of course our midfield has long been an issue lol

personally, i think nagelsmann was doing the best with what he had at the time. certainly there were times when i didn't think he made the right tactical decisions but very generally speaking, i don't think our major failures were always because or related to him.

again i don't really know what "problem" to which you are referring but if you just mean our general recent form, i would say it's probably some vague mix of team chemistry issues, individual performance issues, and all the fucking drama. i do not think i would say emphatically that it is one of those things over all else; i think it's a lot more complex, particularly since each factor affects the other as well.

[mayhemlovesenvy]

Curious since you ship both of them: which pair do you prefer, Owed or Oweddy?

This turned ranty, more under the cut LOL

Owed!

Ofc the vision in my head, I don't have anything else to enjoy from them since no one else makes content lol, but that just means I did whatever I want with them and thus they're like . Totally what I love in ships. They can be doomed they can be toxic they can be silly! They are in love! Obsessed with each other! Their souls intertwined! Babies

Ofc I do like Oweddy, but recently (as in months and months) I've been feeling let down by it. The blorbos in my mind are great and I love them! But I quickly noticed that my headcannons for them were *too* different from the most popular, bigger, more social Oweddy shippers. And in trying to befriend them I tried to conform to their ideas and hcs and it just made me have a bad time, until I realized there was simply no way I could have both cakes and eat them

I'm sure part of it was problems external to just ships (but how come I feel alienated in a group of alienated ppl? Huh??). But being made fun of for liking Owed in a OWEDDY server (close to my birthday which was very shitty) made me realize "why do I want to be liked by these people who I don't even like?"

I just wanted to have some Owed crumbs for my brithday?? Just, yk, a sketch?? A happy birthday message at least??? What the fuck 💔

Also fuck yoi to the people who say "i don't like the ship but _" just say the nice thing you'll say or skip 😭😭😭 it's like the "your oc looks like X" . Judt say the nice thing djksmskslalfmclmv

Apparently I still feel hurt by it, 'cause I wanna cry rn HELP

But yes, in general, the people who I felt offended by the most were Oweddy shippers, who soured the ship for me a lot. So yeah I like them! Fuck everyone else who draws them, tho

So every now and then I have this dislike for them- when I remember all that. But i DO love them, and I won't let a bunch of weird people ruin my fun, it's just a game of patience. I learnt my lesson of creating what I want to see pretty early in my life, I just have to remember it (that's why I'm insane about Vincent too ha). But I'm also insane, and what I want to create needs a lot of time in the oven

I'm being too much of a complainer rn but that's bc this is something I can't let out of my chest freely(?)

But yeah too much, I'm sorry ahhahahah

But I will have both cakes, fuck the people 🫵

My "I feel *too* weird even around weird people" Is my vision for the Owed anyways, they're just a bit *too* fucked up, and somehow get incredibly bullied by it, but they have eachother to be their selves with <3 and then they get worse , and then they realize they were the only ones who understoof each other, and then they find themselves together again, and now they're a little less stupid, and can kiss and solve problems w/o one of them being stabbed!

[1d1195]

I’m SO ready to read what you have in store for both Honey and the academic rivals!! I just know that it will be SO GOOD! And you’re so real for loving the jealousy aspect lol I LOVE reading about it but irl I will literally GAG and not in a good way HAHA

I’m sorry you’re not feeling too well rn :( it’s suck so much to constantly feel like that and it’s even worse when it amplified with one’s cycle! It’s hell for so many reasons! I’m so sorry you’re going through it :( I hope that you’re able to feel a bit better and have been able to do things that make you smile!!!

You’re so kind for even remembering!My midterms went pretty well actually! I did better than I expected which is crazy considering I haven’t been all there lol my weekend has also been a bit busy but I’m a nice way! Went out for a birthday thing for a friend so my social battery has been running a bit low but I enjoyed it which is fine! How was yours?! Hope you got in some rest after a busy week! You are always deserving of it!

Btw idk exactly when you start the new school year but IM WISHING YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH IT!! I have no doubt that your teaching abilities are just amazing and I know you’ll be able to have a great year! Remember that you’re doing your best and that is always enough, please take care of yourself!

The Jump tie back idea was NOT STUPID!! Bestie it was my fave moment in the last part! It just proved how even when they weren’t in each others lives they are so intertwined that even the universe was trying to make them come back to each other/not forgot their bond!! While this isn’t a soulmate au, THIS IS VERY SOULMATE CODED AND IDGAF IT WAS SO CUTE AND PERFECT FOR THEM!!! Such a lovely story and you never miss!!

OMG ITS ALREADY BEEN A YEAR😭😭😭OUR ANNIVERSARY 😭😭😭 WDYM ITS BEEN A YEAR?! It feels like a lot of time has passed yet at the same time it doesn’t feel that long?? Idk lol i seriously should be thanking YOU! You’re so kind to everyone on here and you create such wonderful stories that you share with us! And thank you for being so easy and fun to talk to. It doesn’t matter whether you’re telling me simple things or opening a bit of your heart, it’s always so lovely getting to talk you! You have no idea how insanely wonderful you are, thank you for being such an amazing person and pen pal! Love you lots!!!💗💗-💜

I had like two other stories outlined but I think they're going to go on the back burner from now. There's enough of an outline that they can wait really till whenever. I am excited about them though! I think Honey will be really adorable overall (even if I'm writing some pretty mean parts right now). Academic rivals I think won't be a ton of parts and I think it will kind of jump into the middle of their story, but I think that will be really grumpy/sunshine of them 🤭

It's okay, really. I guess it's "nice" I'm consistent. I can pretty much time when I'm going to feel kinda low. I think I hide it pretty well--not sure that's a good thing but it is what it is. I've got to do a lot of grocery shopping and meal prep today which I'm kinda dreading. Just want to keep writing 😭

I'm not surprised you did well! Based on how you study and worry about your classes I assume you're an amazing student. Like probably top of your class? We vibe like that and I always felt the same way. It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice--but I'm glad you had a good weekend! Even if your social battery was drained.

My weekend was fine. Went for a few walks and just been writing my little heart out. I did get to rest. I wish I had read more this summer but that's okay. Hopefully I can use all the books I didn't read as a reminder to myself to take time during the school year to do something I like and need to do for me.

You're very sweet, I'm definitely going to try and find more balance--I did a pretty good job last year but some months get crazy. May/June is usually craziest (obvi) but that's a while from now so I'm not going to worry about it much until then.

AHHHH! That's so sweet. I'm glad it didn't come off stupid. I really felt conflicted by how lame it might have sounded. I think it helped that I never mentioned Harry knowing about it until that moment. 🤭

You're going to make me cry 😭 I'm really glad I came back to tumblr. Even if it's a little crazy now and things are different, I think about how I was feeling between 2018-2022 and how different I feel now. It is really nice to have a place where I can vent and chat even if it's a bit anonymously. I feel like you guys know me a lot better than a lot of my friends. But yeah. I love you SO MUCH! 💕 Thank you for being a part of my blog 💕

xoxo

[typewriter83]

First of all, glad to see you're back❤️ secondly... I've read chapter nine and I have a lot of things to tell.

First, I was mad at jesse before but now I'm extra mad at him lmao. Last chapter he was acting like dina was at his place and he said he told dina about the kissing, but none of that was true wow. Such a fricking manipulator and for what😭👍 also, I wasn't expecting Dina's story to be like that... Actually I was, I just wasn't expecting Talia in the middle of this. Part of me think that... Well, dina telling maria even before she met ellie would have been the smart thing to do, but I also won't judge because david is the only to blame here.

The bathtub scene was so cute somehow. Just picturing him crouched talking with ellie while she's venting to him on that bathtub while drinking the tea he made for her is something special. Like she's his religion and he's just there; meeting all her needs.

The rest... The rest of the chapter reminds me of that tlou meme gif where ellie opens the door and everything is pure chaos (I hope you know what gif I'm talking about because otherwise I would feel shy rn lol). So, things escalated very quickly: in one moment the pastor was exchanging barbs with joel while tommy was more lost than a nun on her honeymoon, and in another second, ellie's reaction to david invoked something primal and full alpha on joel (which I'm sorry but it was too fucking hot) and broke david's wrist. As much as that made me go 🎉🎉 for david's wrist, that whole chaos shouldn't have happened... Because joel getting all riled up in front of tommy even before david insinuated anything, ellie getting out of his house in his shirt and joel getting agressive and defensive over ellie, All of this, just made Joel look like the big bad wolf in front of people. At the same time, the scene that happened afterwards was... A bit funny, I'm sorry🤣 I mean, it was tense: maria is mad, tommy is confused and mad, everyone is fucking mad. But that whole scene (they mad at joel and ellie sassing maria while tommy was like "ellie, attitude!") seemed like two parents that just found out their sassy teenage girl is in case with an older man she has a crush on. Kind of reminded me of the movie "crazy stupid love" lmao. But well, back to being serious: While maria made it very clear that he never thought well of Joel, tommy is... A hard deal. Like, we can see he's questioning joel's morals and getting protective of ellie, but at the same time it's like he's not believe his brother would do something like that without genuine feelings involved but he doesn't say that out loud because his wife is his boss. I will re-read to see if I'm right, but even seemed like Joel was scowding tommy for that too when he was arguing with him behind the cells. Like when joel was "why are you letting this pastor free out there?" there was an you're letting your wife rule your head like that? unspoken. Or maybe It's just nonsense from my head, idk.

Last but not least: there was two things I wasn't waiting until this chapter: thing number 1 is the fact that our lovebirds were discovered faster than I thought they would. I mean, they started their relationship and david was a new character, I I thought that there was still some stuff to happen between both things before it all went to wind, so that's why I'm as surprised as every character was on this chapter. Thing number two: Ellie knew about David's creep head even before he did anything to her, so I thought "that's the first story that david doesn't try/doesn't have time to put his hands on ellie"... But then someone came and said there was fire at the church, and then I remembered instantly of the burning restaurant scene from the last of us and... Well, I guess this emoji is what I felt🤡🤡🤡🤡 Poor ellie, I bet something happened with her and that's why there's fire at the church. (Good thing is that joel scaped prison right now😈david might meet hell sooner than he was expecting).

*out of breath* so, that was alll tense. Got me anxious thr whole chapter, so I feel like I need to talk about the few less tense things that happened so I guess less anxious: first, joel getting all hot with that bratty behaviour🤭homegirl almost crying and joel thought that was foreplay made me laugh. Which remindes me.... When out of this shit gets calm again, are we gonna find out if the spanking talk is serious???😏cause I think sir Joel liked the idea a little too much huh. he definitely must be holding a belt in his drawer for this moment.

Also he almost said he loves her🗣️🗣️🗣️ I don't think I even have anything to say about it, don't think I could find the words.

Sweet cub, Mama Bear is sat for this. By the time you see this response, I will have been working on this since last Wednesday. Anyone who takes the time to read and analyze something I write to this degree deserves my attention.🫶🏻 maybe we can consider this the appendices to Learning to Walk - let’s dive in:

Let’s talk about Dina, Talia (who will just be a character that is mentioned in passing) and Jesse. Jesse has been in Jackson - with his mom and siblings - the longest, he has the strongest bonds (or so he believes) with the community. Dina and Talia arrived a few years back - and then David and his few survivors sometime after. For the first time in Dina’s life, she was protected, and Talia could rest knowing her sister was safe. So, imagine this young woman’s horror when her r@pist shows up to this safe community and welcomes him with open arms - Talia remembers the old world, she knows what Maria did for a living (I’m playing off show-Maria in this story, that she was a prosecutor), she knows that men like David didn’t pay for their crimes and could twist the truth to their favor. Talia is trying to protect Dina, Jesse is over protective of Dina, and Dina just wants to live her life.

That being said, this is not the Dina from part 2, this Dina - like Ellie - is younger, and they don’t know one another. Dina is protecting her sister, trying to keep them both from being kicked out of Jackson because that’s what Talia has been telling Dina could happen. Jesse, because his head is up Tommy’s ass all the time, agrees with this assessment, because Jackson operates within a very delicate balance - despite Maria believe there’s law and order, it’s really people just trying to get by, keeping their noses down and staying out of trouble.

Enter Joel. Everyone in Jackson knows the stories about Joel because Tommy is a storyteller, he wants to feel a sense of belonging, and he never thought Joel would show up in Jackson. When Joel asks Maria “why did you let me stay,” she tells him she thought he was deserving of a second chance, but in reality it’s Tommy protecting his brother. Joel tries to carve out a place for himself in Jackson, but even with a partner - Esther - he can’t settle, can’t let himself live.

Which is where the story began way back on the side of a mountain in December 2035 😉

Ellie’s been kind of off for a couple chapters - the whole world came crashing down around her shoulders - she walked into the room on fire, right? Now that things are on the mend and her fuzzy brain is starting to clear - let’s just fuck with our poor girl some more, why not, right? Because a showdown has to happen between her and David and that man (if we can fucking call him that) is not going to like that Ellie knows about Dina and Talia, and we’re assuming other girls. He thinks it’s his job to be her protector and.. oh wait, we’re not there yet! 🫢

But - the showdown is coming at the church, and we’re gonna go back to the night Joel was arrested and see those 3 days Joel was in jail from Ellie’s POV. Someone mentioned to me that this whole thing with David and Ellie happened too fast - but remember that the winter sequence happens over a matter of days, David sees Ellie and decides he’s keeping her (whether your a game follower or show follower) - so this build up was coming.

Last - but most certainly not least - our lovebirds. Yes, Joel almost said it, they got caught, and Ellie being a brat turns them both on. While I’m not gonna give away the farm, this part of the story is winding down, and will go to a resting place until the next arc starts up. Ellie being a brat will be revisited in the future. As for someone saying the L word - just to put on “But Daddy I Love Him” by Taylor Swift while you wait patiently for Chapter 10!

🫶🏻