#lol if you accuse others of not having the backbone to own up that they were wrong to condemn build so quickly

[certifiedlurker]

People who "Stan" other people to the point of...idk what to call it exactly but for the lack of a better word let's say "obsession" are really something. So the character of Pete is now going to be forever associated with Build? Like y'all are really out there, not having any idea about a person of flesh and bone and projecting the fictional man Pete onto him and getting offended that people are making gifsets of the character because they didn't support Build and sided with poi initially?? I mean 😬😬😬😬😬 yikes.

The blurred lines between real and reel that cannot be a good thing. In twenty years if someone remakes kinnporsche with a new cast, would it then according to your logic be of a "moral" standing to gif and gush about the new Pete? I mean you all are really out here saying that no! You cannot like Pete, the fictional bodyguard whom the storyline has given a fictional back story and fictional strengths and weaknesses! You have to ardently worship Build Jakapan before you get to that. Lmao give me a fucking break. I wonder if liking Pete would also come with the declaration of wanting to support the mafia 💀

[fizzingwizard]

Now I've finished reading Mansfield Park, which I expected to slog through, but instead it held my interest nearly the entire time. The one exception was the long exchange of letters after Fanny goes to Portsmouth. Then I was taking longer to get through each chapter, and the ending, of course, is as Austenian as I could expect.

Mansfield Park doesn't have the charm or wit of other Austen novels. I had put it off because I read that "no one is likable," and I don't usually have a taste for stories where everyone is just bad and miserable. But having read it, I don't think those critics were justified. Mansfield Park isn't about an unlikable group of characters. It's just that they are very flawed. And a lot of real life is hard to like, but you don't have many friends if you will only approve of paragons of virtue.

Is Fanny meant to be the paragon of virtue? was the question running through my mind. Most Austen heroines are not as perfect as they're accused of being - the only one who really fits that description, in my opinion, is Anne Elliot. (And I could go on about why that doesn't bother me at all and that the world of literature deserves an Anne Elliot or two, but back to Fanny.) Fanny confused me for the longest time. I couldn't tell if she was virtuous and pure, or naive and pathetic. I think for most of the novel she's something of both, and what really kept me gripped was feeling desperate to know whether she'd turn out as awful as the rest. It's an Austen novel, I figured there was no way she wouldn't turn out okay, but honestly I was in suspense sometimes lol, as much suspense as you can be when instead of the threat of an ax murderer hiding under the stairs, the threat is winding up rich and bitter.

My final opinion of Fanny is that I like her in a similar way that I like Anne Elliot. There are a couple lines, about the importance of "knowing your mind," and "being guided by what's in your own self," that made me see more strength in Fanny. She is essentially friendless. And she's much younger than Anne, and she's so criticized and taken advantage of, and so without warmth. So many times I thought "if only she had a backbone," and my fear was that Austen would validate her timidity and loneliness as the virtue of "female abnegation" :P But although there are the usual Austen morals, she doesn't do that - instead she gives us Susan, who does have pluck and backbone, and makes Fanny admire her for it and wish she'd had some too when she was first sent to Mansfield. And contrasting Mary Crawford with Fanny is what made me like Mary, and worry that Fanny might be the first Austen heroine to really be disappointed in love. If Fanny had some of Mary's liveliness and confidence, maybe Edmund would have noticed her. And if Mary had Fanny's good judgment, maybe she would have had Edmund in the end. I think the contrasting traits in Fanny and Mary Crawford are some of my favorites in Austen novels, because they're so real and developed that I couldn't tell for a while who was going to come out ahead.

Fanny is everything "good" in an Austen heroine, but her flaws are still real. And Mansfield Park doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to how easily she could have wound up a villain instead of a heroine. If Edmund had married Mary, Fanny would probably have married Henry and been miserable, because despite all the blabber about "she would have fixed him," I think he would have gone right on cheating and breaking her heart. Austen had more faith in Henry Crawford than I do, lol.

As for the rest of the cast, apart from Mrs Norris, I don't think anyone is hateful. But they don't have warmth, they don't have real affection. That is palpable in the novel and reminded me over and over how much I wished Fanny had a friend. When William appeared, I braced myself for his betrayal - but although he's not around much, he ended up being her true friend. I could almost wish he wasn't her brother because he treated her much better than Edmund did. William knew how to show love. If he had been brought to Mansfield Park when Fanny was, maybe Fanny would not have fallen in love with Edmund, because she would have already had a best friend who could definitely never become a romantic option.

But although the lack of warmth is so terrible, that's what I mean when I say the novel is real. I think the lack of concern for their so-called loved ones the characters show, as well as the biases and prejudices that are inconvenient for them to shed, are exactly how many families really are. Taking each other for granted, seeing each other how you wish to, and being mostly concerned about whether or not someone is useful to you personally. It sounds cynical, and there are many loving, caring families who are nowhere near as selfish as the Bertrams or the Crawfords or even the Prices. But there are many which are. And I like the way the novel made it felt. Rather than make the abuse obvious through violence and threats, the coldness is covered up by decorum, which makes it even more insidious and long-lasting. I was really sad, just deeply sad for Fanny in many places, every time I wished she had someone who would listen to her and side with her the way everyone else expected her to do for them. I'm nowhere near as virtuous as Fanny, but I know how much it sucks to bite your tongue over and over, and when you finally tell the truth, to be told that you don't know your own feelings, or you're just too ignorant to understand what you should feel, or that your judgments are wrong because it's currently convenient to the other person that they should be wrong. Sometimes I was identifying so much with Fanny that I had to stop reading. It's not gaslighting - that term is too strong. But it is inconsiderate. I was lucky because I always had a listener in my mom. She may not always understand me, but she listens and respects me. I never have to worry that what I say may set her off the way I did with my dad and brother. Lately my dad's been much better with me, which I truly appreciate - but I also can't forget him telling me that I shouldn't be insulted that he thinks opinions like mine are "stupid, because "I know you're smart enough to one day agree with me!"

Which, weirdly, brings me to Edmund... I was on the fence about him the whole time. At first he seemed like he WAS Fanny's friend, the kind older brother figure who cared about her happiness. After a while I started to suspect that he was more about the appearance of charity than about really being kind. I suspected him of betraying me and becoming exactly the kind of clergyman Mary denigrated. But other times he would do or say something that made me change my mind, and decide that he's not fake, he's just flawed. Being flawed is much better than being fake. My number one issue with him was when Fanny turned down Henry's proposal, and Edmund, despite saying he wouldn't try to sway Fanny's feelings, winds up doing just that - because it's convenient for him to think of the Crawfords as good people, because the theater debacle was embarrassing to think back on, and because he admires Fanny's judgment, so if she judges Henry Crawford good enough to marry, he'd no longer need to have scruples about marrying Mary. It was the most selfish he ever was with regard to Fanny. It really made me feel he could never love her, and even opened me up to the idea that Henry might, actually, be Fanny's endgame match, lol. Because Henry seemed to notice all the things no one else did about how lonely and uncared for Fanny was, and even to encourage her to find her voice. It was literally Fanny pointed out that how could she trust a man who had taken advantage of the feelings of not one but two of her cousins before immediately redirecting his flirting on her to make me realize "no way, it's definitely going to be Edmund, lol."

Henry's better than Wickham, but not by a lot. Edmund, however, is a far cry from Mr Darcy. I wish very much that Mansfield Park ended in some way to make me like Edmund better, because right now the best I can say about him is that he's not as silly as his siblings, and he is at least capable of real love. It's hard to hear the wedding bells because as far as I can see, the Edmund Fanny loves is his childhood self, and the grown up version hasn't really done much to deserve her. He's more commendable for not doing things to not deserve her, lol. Their relationship is probably the least romantic of any in Austen's novels, imo. Fanny really loved him, and there was a lot of romantic pain in watching him fall for someone else. But by the time he finally sees Fanny, the novel is over... xD This is not a criticism though... I was really intrigued to find out how each character would turn out in the end. And the only thing I'll say which is sort of disappointing is that everything turned out how I predicted it in the beginning, aka like an Austen novel. But even though the Crawfords and Edmund didn't develop more as characters, I still appreciate how much complexity they add. Like, they made me guess about an Austen novel, haha. And in retrospect I shouldn't have, because I knew the finale from the curtain rise. But still. They made me guess. They almost, almost made me believe Mary would be rehabilitated and Fanny would give in to poor judgment. Hehe.

If anything, I appreciate this novel for food for thought, ie imagining all the different stories it could have been. I like that one way of life, the rich, performative lifestyles of Mansfield Park, is shown warts and all - and then we're taken down to Portsmouth only to find it's warty in similar ways, just with less polish. It makes you a little more sympathetic to mercenary marriage vows. Like, if I'm going to be miserable, I might as well be miserable in comfort, haha. But of course the novel doesn't posit that either. If Fanny had gone to Portsmouth and found her family humble but full of love and wisdom, there'd be a completely different outcome. Or if she went to Portsmouth, realized how much better things were at Mansfield, went back and informed readers that she had been overly sensitive thus far and actually everyone in Mansfield was so kind, and Mrs Norris just misunderstood - then again we'd have a totally different outcome. We get neither. It's just the world the way it is. Being poor comes with challenges and being rich comes with advantages. But happiness isn't a guarantee either way.

Well, I liked Mansfield Park much more than I was expecting to. I'm really shocked by how invested I got when at first I really thought Fanny might be the Austen heroine to finally make me say "enough is enough!" But Austen is too good, I can't hate her characters at all. She's able to give so much depth, or at least familiarity, to every one of them that they're just too human for something as base as hate. I even gave up wishing Fanny would find her voice and just wished she'd find a friend. And in the end, I'd say that IS what she got, even more than a husband - the friendship of her brother and sister and even Sir Thomas, as well as the loss of the anti-friend Mrs Norris. If any Austen heroine ever suffered so much for being alone, it's Fanny Price. That to me is the real source of her final happiness. And since Austen nearly always gives her heroines a sister or a best friend or some trusted confidante, the lack of one in Mansfield Park has to be intentional, and so I don't think Austen would disagree with me.

[aelaer]

☕ I AM totally cooking you up in this ask on how much you know about the Accords and the way they relate to the US's federal law 👀👀👀

Ahhh, yeah, I was due an ask like this. It took a while to get to, so hopefully you eventually see it, md. Note that all regulations are directly from the Wiki, which drew from the canon of Agents of SHIELD, which had huge plot points around the Accords. Possibly the other old Marvel TV shows too, I’m not sure. And without this expansion, we’d know literally nothing about them, but they fit a lot of what was in the comics so I’m cool as accepting them as canon. Your Mileage May Vary.

This is super long so I put it under a cut.

Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.

Nothing breaking current US law. You’re expected to get fingerprinted if you do certain things for the state in certain states in the US. For instance, when I took a tutoring job for underprivileged children in my early college years, I was fingerprinted. I wouldn’t be surprised if higher-security jobs also require something similar.

However, to my knowledge these are all state or nationwide databases, not international. There may be some argument to be made about which officials from which country have access to your fingerprints, as it is with the Accords.

In this fictional universe, DNA samples may be more of an issue due to how meta-humans may have altered DNA and we alllll know that of those 117 countries that signed, at least a dozen of them would try to weaponize it in some capacity. If I were a meta-human in the MCU, this would be my largest concern.

Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government or by a United Nations subcommittee.

This makes complete sense and should have been established long ago. If it wasn’t already established, then the world governments of the MCU are... well, just as slow and dumb as the real world’s.

Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.

The UN does not have the authority to dictate what an individual country does or does not allow their population to do, for better or worse. The atrocities carried out across the world by various world governments against their people is the best evidence of that.

That said, in this case, I don’t think it’s any of their business to dictate this. If France wants meta-humans in their police force regardless as to whether they’ve signed the Accords or not, that’s France’s business. If Japan wants to bolster their army with meta-humans who didn’t sign, that’s Japan’s business. The rest of the world may not be happy with that, but the UN is not an elected ruling body and just doesn’t have the authority to make regulations like that. A lot of countries will play nice with sweeping calls such as that and go along with them, but they’re under no obligation to follow them (and certainly not with US law - the UN’s rulings have zero legal ramifications here until they’re passed in state or federal legislatures).

Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.

Hahaahahhahahahahah. No. Breaks the Fifth Amendment in the Bill of Rights, which is a part of the Constitution (which equals the backbone of American law -- things that go to the Supreme Court are there to basically see if something is constitutional or not. It’s a lot more complicated than it sounds, though).

Unfortunately this is a real situation that’s being dealt with now with specific people of the “aiding terrorists” category throughout the last 20 or so years of presidency (both the left and right with politicians signing it, and both the left and right with American activists opposing it, according to my brief study on the issue - you can look up indefinite detention if you want to read more).

Regardless, super super breaks the Fifth Amendment. While the amendments were written for specifically American citizens or folks on American soil, I personally think it’s important it’s a value that is upheld with everyone, no matter what they’ve been accused of. But that’s all I’ll say on that real world topic. This UN mandate hits very close to home - kudos to the writer who put that in for that touch of reality.

The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities is strictly regulated, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry).

Doesn’t break any known laws to my knowledge. Regulation of dangerous things is pretty common.

The Avengers will no longer be a private organization and will operate under the supervision of the United Nations.

I don’t think the UN has the legal ability to do that. The US government would need to do this as this is a private organization operating within the US on US soil. The US government has acquired private organizations in real life (like GM during the financial crisis of 2008), but they quickly find how much that sucks and sell them off as soon as they can, lol.

Again, the UN is operating under the supposition that they actually have the legal wherewithal to do this when, in reality, they don’t. There is no such thing as international law in the real world and I sincerely doubt in the MCU verse.

What would very likely happen, should Thanos not have ruined this exciting political drama, is that the US totally agrees to do this. Then a new administration or legislature comes in and reverses it 2-6 years later, assuming that all of the lawsuits from various countries didn’t cripple the Accords sooner.

Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations.

Hahahahaha. Under whose authority? We’ve established there’s no international law. It’d be up to every single individual country to agree to not only do this, but *share* this list with every other country. If I was the decision maker in the US or China, there’s no way in fucking hell I’d do that. Israel or Iran? Fuck no! Do I *want* all my meta humans to be assassinated by other countries?

The MCU has this little fairy tale (that sometimes the real UN carries on with) that everyone gets along just great when, in reality, that’s really, really, really unlikely.

Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks.

I could make an argument that this breaks the Fourth Amendment (unreasonable searches and seizures). You cannot forcefully take DNA from someone unless they’ve been convicted of a crime (and in, I think 20 states I just read, if you’ve been arrested, but even that’s been challenged under the Fourth Amendment in those various states the past decade).

If they’re already having a legal argument about this for DNA of people who were arrested, they’re going to have a hell of an argument for this requirement just for *existing*.

Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times.

Oh that’s nice, the UN thinks meta-humans are animals! Likely breaks the Fourth Amendment. Found an interesting article about Amazon and their little tracking bracelets from two years ago that is semi-relevant, and those are employees. Imagine if you required everyone of some minority race or nationality to wear a tracking device because they’re statistically more dangerous due to the prevalence of crime amongst them, or something inane like that.

Yeah, it’s something like that bad. Definitely breaks the privacy protection that previous rulings regarding the Fourth Amendment have established.

Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

International law doesn’t exist. This is done via treaties and agreements, but again, the UN has no legal leg to stand on (and countries -- US included -- often just ignore them). If China wants to take over Nepal with meta humans, who the fuck is really gonna stop them? I mean, really? If the US wanted to take over Baja California from Mexico, same question. The UN just doesn’t have the authority (or frankly put, the manpower). Countries often play nice, but there’s plenty of times where they don’t, either.

(But you know who would try to prevent the US/China from taking over Baja/Nepal? Meta humans. That likely aren’t allowed to fight under Accords mandates but do so anyway, all the while flipping the bird towards their nearest UN building :D)

As a corollary, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such as S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

See “international law doesn’t exist and it’s up to each individual country to determine this for themselves” as explained in previous sections.

If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.

As established, breaks the Fifth Amendment of the US. And fuck, we saw this in action in Civil War-- or so it seemed. Ross definitely looked like he was leaning that way. I wouldn’t put it past Ross. He’s been bad news ever since he was hunting the Hulk.

The creation of self-aware artificial intelligence is completely prohibited.

Heh, not really applicable to the current world, but not necessarily something I’d like to see in the real world either. I’m afraid we’re gonna get a Skynet or HAL rather than a JARVIS or WALL-E.

This was fun, in a weird way.

[conaionaru]

Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)

A whole new life

Synopsis: Health check and pregnancy reveal

Warning: angst, fluff, Ivar, toxic family, mentions of pregnancy

Tagged

@shannygoatgruff@youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @heavenly1927 @lol-haha-joke @queenbeeta @didiintheblog

P.S. Anything in bold and cursive is a flashback.

I don't own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.

The healer was very thoughtful under Ivar's watchful eye, ensuring both Vanya and the child in her belly are healthy. The older woman with gray hair and blue eyes confirmed the Seers revelation. The Saxon was pregnant, still early, but there was a little life growing inside her. 

The woman warned Vanya of morning sickness, mood swings, and other things she will experience, but Vanya was deaf to it all. Luckily Ivar looked like he was listening, mostly because he cursed the woman out at least trice after every sentence. All the young girl could think about was their future, she imagined what the child would look like and if it would be a girl or boy. She visualized the little crying babe in her arms that would smile at her, that she would nurse and love with all her love. She swore to be a good mother, better than her own had ever been. Afterall she would have help from Aslaug at the beginning, so she wasn't worried about that. Vanya couldn't help but smile in glee at what the future held for their little family. 

The young couple left the healers hut and went to the Great Hall for lunch. Ivar kept reminding her to watch her step and glared at anyone who got too close to Vanya. If it got any worse with time, Vanya would go crazy. Wasn't she supposed to go a little mad during pregnancy? Maybe Ivar's covering that field so she can concentrate on the babe?

The two sat down at the table, a thrall poured Vanya's cup with water, but she accidentally spilled a little bit on the Princess. "Watch it, you useless cow!"

"It was just water, Ivar. No harm done." Vanya scolded him, smiling in apology at the poor terrified thrall.

Ivar scoffed at that and glared at his wife. "What if she dropped the jug on you, huh? Did you think about that?" He accused her as Vanya shook head at his overprotectiveness. The water didn't even hit her anywhere near her stomach; it was poured on her knee. He was overreacting.

 "Are you alright, Ivar?" Ubbe asked with a raised eyebrow watching his brother fuss. Vanya looked at him with a tired face, silently begging him for help. Yet Ivar said nothing only glared at the table in distaste and betrayal. 

So Vanya took it into her own hands, she looked at the Queen and straightened her back as if to remind herself she had a backbone. "I talked to the Seer yesterday night, as you told me."

Aslaug looked at the girl with one eyebrow drawn up, urging the girl to go on. She was curious about what the Seer had to say if her vision was the only thing the Gods would reveal. 

"I am with child." The whole room grew silent; even the servants froze in their place. Hvitserk stopped eating, his spoon hanging from his lips, Ubbe sat there with wide eyes, Sigurd choked on his ale, while Bjorn blinked dumbly at the two of them. Only Aslaug seemed somehow put together, a small smirk playing on her lips as she smugly sipped her ale. Vanya had a feeling the Queen knew that already.

"A child?" Hvitserk asked, trying to make sure he didn't mishear his sister in law.

Vanya only nodded with an excited smile. "The Seer told me so, and the healer confirmed it this morning." 

"Congratulations then, Skul!" Ubbe called out as everybody echoed his shout and drank from their cups, happy for the couple. Expect Sigurd, who looked bitter. Vanya knew that spark in his good eye all too well; he always seemed like a snake on the hunt before he insulted Ivar. "Ivar's child?"

"Whose would it be? Do you think I would sleep with another man?" Vanya frowned at the jab glaring at the second youngest son of Ragnar. 

Sigurd only shook his head and lifted his cup to his lips; he pointed with at his younger brother and smirked. "Of course not, Vanya. I would never say that. I am just surprised, little Ivar put a child in you, that's all. It is a wonder how a cripple did it so fast."

Ivar threw his cup at Sigurd's head, but the other dodged the hit and smirked sneered at his brother in triumph. "Stop it, you two." Ordered Ubbe warning his younger siblings tiredly. 

"Are you not worried the child will be like him? Poor babe." Sigurd pressed as Ivar looked like he might climb over the table and murder his brother then and there. Vanya put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him while Aslaug scolded Sigurd. The ginger looked at the Ragnarsson in anger that the cheerful news was used to undermine Ivar. 

"It could always be worse, Sigurd. The child could have eyes like you or such a terrible personality. That would be more dreadful." She spat back at him in a fury making the boys look at her in shock. Even Ivar sat back down in his seat, looking at his wife in admiration and wonder. She never seemed more appealing to him. 

Sigurd gaped at the Princess who never had anything bad to say about anybody. "And what if it is a cripple like him? What will you do?"

Vanya clenched her hands in fists, her nails biting into her palm, leaving behind a sharp sting. "Then I will love the child all the same. Who cares if it can't walk? As long as my child will be alive and happy, I don't care. Your opinion means nothing." 

Sigurd continued staring at her, stunned, his mind not comprehending what's happening. He was used to spitting back insults at Ivar, not Vanya throwing some back in his face. The other watched the conversation carry on, curious how it would end. "I am just trying to warn you, Vanya." He tried regretting his earlier mocking. An angry Vanya glaring at him was unsettling. Like a baby duck going feral.

"And if you ever bring a child into this world, I will listen. But you are neither a woman nor an expert midwife. So shush. Do you have anything else to say?" Sigurd opened his mouth as if he were to retort, but Vanya left him no time. "Oh wait, I just realized I don't care." Ivar looked at his older brother smugly, drinking his ale in a silent victory as his wife continued her angry stare, daring the Ragnarsson to say anything. Meanwhile, the other boys looked between the arguing duo as Aslaug smiled at Vanya, wanting to diffuse the tension.

"Did he say anything about if it would be a boy or girl?" She asked excitedly, happy that her youngest son found love and gave her grandchildren. 

"No. He talked of many children and other things. But not about that." Vanya clarified thinking back to the sinister prophecy about her own future and the payment in blood. Aslaug beamed at that reveal, thinking of all the Ivarssons and Ivarsdottirs she would hold in her arms. 

"And what else did he talk about?" Bjorn questioned, more curious about that than any nephews or nieces Ivar might sire. 

"Vanya is meant for greatness." Ivar bragged, holding her hand in his, grinning from ear to ear like a proud husband. Vanya shook her head at his happy tone. 

"It is not a good thing, Ivar. The Seer said the Gods would be paid in my blood. What if he meant my children? They will be my blood." Vanya pressed back, worriedly imagining dead children with red hair and eyes as blue as a stormy sea. She shuddered at the mental picture.

Hvitserk shrugged his shoulders at that and pointed his spoon at the ginger. "Or your brother. Silas is your blood too." Vanya dismissed the suggestion, rather not thinking about death at all. No matter how much she despised her older brother, she had no real reason to want him dead. He was far away, sitting on his throne, probably terrorizing other people now that she was gone. Silas was no longer a constant shadow in the back of her mind that made her shake in fright. He was a distant memory of what once was. 

Silas stood before her with his hands on his hips while Vanya sat on the floor, cradling her bruised cheek as she tasted blood in her mouth. "I am sorry, My King. I didn't mean to." She begged, looking at him with pleading eyes hoping to calm him. If she seemed pathetic enough to him, he would leave.

"How dare you look at me, you wench. I am your King, and you are forbidden to look into my eyes!" He barked at her, his spit flying everywhere. He looked like a rabid dog, contemplating ripping out her throat. 

Vanya cast her eyes back to the floor, seeing blood drip from her lip and onto the floor. She frantically wiped at the stain with her dress, hoping Silas wouldn't see it. "You are a waste of space! Unthankful, filthy, and stupid. Aren't you?"

"Yes, My King. I am terrible and pathetic. A stupid little girl who never learns." She repeated the words he threw at her a few days ago during a lesson like this. Their father died a month ago, and at first, Vanya thought it was his way of hiding his grief. He was King now, which meant many responsibilities and stress. He had no time to mourn. Yet Silas didn't seem to miss King Osmond at all. All he did was scream, curse, beat and humiliate Vanya while the council ruled in his stead. There was never any love lost between them, but it was never this bad.

"That you are! Thinking you could eat before I ate! Are you that mad? The King eats first! The man always eats first! How dare you eat from MY FOOD, from MY TABLE before ME! And you even talk back!" Silas raged, stomping his foot dangerously close to her hand on the ground. But Vanya didn't dare to pull it away, fearing he would kick her for it. Every time his boot made contact with the floor, she flinched in fright. "It was just one grape, My King. I forgot myself." Silas mocked, his voice high pitched as a mouse.

"Well, I will make sure you remember it this time!" He stomped his foot down with more strength behind it. A scream ripped out of Vanya's mouth as he crushed her palm under him, the crunch of bones deafening to her ears. 

Vanya jumped in her seat as the others gave her a worried glance at her pale complexion. She shook her head, smiling at them reassuringly. The ginger wanted to drink to stop the dry feeling in her mouth but didn't trust her hands not to shake. She could feel Ivar squeeze her hand softly, trying to calm her, but it didn't work. Silas was a monster that was still breathing in Slegia, and as long as he lived, so did the memory of her past. She hated him. But she doubted it was enough to want him dead. Yet the idea made her shoulders relax just a little bit. Had she gone mad?

[kiranatrix]

Do you love writing about charactets learning something which can make them grow and develop into something different from their canon characterisation? i.e. Mikami meeting geniunely reformed criminal or L realising even he can mistakenly accuse an innocent

I guess the answer is, sometimes? I think my favorite thing is to expand their canon characterization but not completely change it, because these characters are striking in their intractability. I fell in love with them for that, the strength and depth of their convictions whether right or wrong or misguided or not. I enjoy how deeply felt their passions are. Light is Kira and would never give that up. L is morally grey and occasionally ruthless. Misa loves Light and nothing changes that. Mikami’s belief system is deeply entrenched due to multiple factors in his life. Ryuk is bent on having chaotic fun. Mello wants to beat Near and be number one, screw everything else. Etc etc... There are some things about them that feel like their canon essence and changing that often feels like writing a new character.

That’s not to say that it can’t be done well and in an interesting way, or that I would automatically dislike stories where that happened. But in practice, and it is rare I write or like them written diverting from their ‘backbones.’ (Probably the only trope I auto-won’t read is Light giving up the Death Note or ‘repenting’ being Kira; the others I’d give a chance). What I do enjoy is expansion vs subversion of those backbones— more backstory, new or interesting motivations, any and all shinigami lore, fleshing out Wammy’s house, new situations and intrigue, understanding their inner lives and emotions, compromises and alliances. I enjoy making the characters grow without denying what made them canonically fascinating to me in the first place, and some of that is their stubborn behavior and ridiculous mindsets. When I imagine Mikami meeting a reformed criminal, I see him having cognitive dissonance and denial vs a revelation (surely he met them as a prosecutor); when I imagine L realizing he may have accused someone innocent, I see him shrugging and moving on (like with the planting of drugs on Misa’s manager). Their canon mindsets plague me I guess lol. But this is a place where your mileage will vary— other people value different backbones or enjoy breaking them completely to build something new. My own sin here is enjoying exploring characters’ emotional states and perhaps giving them more introspection and empathy than they showed in canon. We all change our favs to some degree, to be more like how we want them to be.

[rjalker]

Edit: Okay cowards keep having to crop out all the context for this post because you know you’re literally lying to people lol.

Since you idiots are literally lying to people and you know it,

this post is literally fucking talking about how the Animorphs book series justifies and glorifies the protagonists comitting genocide against peopel who have been enslaved for generations, kidnapped away from their slaver-occupied home with no way to get back, who are literally fucking starved to the brink of death by their slavers who refuse to feed them, so that they literally have no choice but to eat their own dead or starve to death.

This post is literally talking about how genocide is considered justified and good, actually, as long as the people you’re comitting it against are cannibals, and also people the majority-white protagonists think are ugly.

This post is literally fucking telling people to stop fucking trying to justify genocide by saying people who are cannibals deserve it. 

In case you hadn’t fucking noticed, this is a fucking argument that was and is being used to justify the genocide of real fucking people in the real fucking world.

Do you think genocide is justified? No???? then shut the absolute fuck up about this post and stop fucking ignoring the gods damned context. I have dozens of other fucking posts that talk about this fucking problem but no, you don’t care about the truth, you just want to create drama and fearmonger and pretend I’m a fucking cannibal because I tell people not to justify genocide by saying the literally enslaved, tortured, kidnapped, and starved people having it commited against them deserve it for not living up to white supremacy’s standards of what is an is not acceptable funerary practices.

Oh but now, since I’m one of the people calling out the racism and ableism and other disgusting bigotry in this series, you’re all suddenly going to pull the ���it’s just fiction! Fiction doesn’t affect reality!” card because you’re all cowards with the moral backbone of a fucking worm. Now, because an ace person you don’t like is calling out racism in a book series, now, suddenly, racism is all fine and dandy and it’s perfectly fine and good, actually, to portray as a good thing, in a book series aimed at kids! It’s a good thing to teach kids to be racist, is that going to be your argument now? Hmm?

Because you fucking idiots are literally pathetic.

Your stupid aphobic friends get called out, or you and you fucking incest-loving creeps are still pissed off about me blocking you, so now you’re lying about shit anyone can fact check just to try and justify the way you and your shitty friends are harassing me, block evading, sending me fucking gore in my inbox, and telling me to kill myself.

Yes, random person who was told I’m a cannibal so you came here to see what the hell is up, that is who is saying this shit. Literal fucking aphobes and exclusionists and literal people who think incest is awesome. They’re fucking pissed off that I blocked them and warned other people about the shit they do, so now they’ve created a fucking harassment campaign about me that’s literally filled with lies that literally anyone can fact check by going through my blog.

Did the people who told you I’m a cannibal also tell you that they accuse me of grooming minors literally because I block TERFs? Because that’s another claim they’ve fucking fabricated to make themselves look like the good guys when they tell me to kill myself. They are literally mad that I block TERFs and fucking Nazis and since some of my followers are kids, they’re claiming that by warning my followers about literal TERFs and Nazis to block for their own safety, that it’s grooming.

Yes. The people who literally sexually harassed and suicide baited me for being upset by incest (which is literally fucking pedophilia and rape combined, since everyone likes to act like it’s a fucking harlmess joke that hurts no one) being treated like a joke have turned around and are trying to claim I’m grooming minors by blocking TERFs and Nazis. I could not make this shit up if I fucking tried. 

Literally just go through my fucking blog and search for yourself. These stupid bigots have literally created a harassment and smear campaign against me because they made too big of an ass of themselves for everyone to see by blatantly being horrific people, and they started losing followers and facing negative consequences for literally gleefully harassing someone for being upset by incest, and now they’re scrambling to “justify” what they did and “justify” their harassment of me.

Read through my blog and fucking see for yourself. Literally all the shit they are saying is blatant fucking lies and they aren’t even pretending to try and be truthful anymore. They will literally take any fucking post I make and try to make it seem evil and cringy and horrible because they are fucking aphobic pieces of shit who are mad that their aphobic friends are being blocked.

Literally this entire fucking thing began because someone I followed made an incest joke, I blocked them and warned other people because wow, it’s almost like incest is a fucking traumatizing thing to go through! It’s almost like it’s a horrifying thing to treats a joke! It’s almost like incest jokes are literally rape jokes!!! It’s almost like incest jokes are literally pedophilia jokes!!!!

You don’t have to fucking like me. You can block me for literally any fucking reason you want. But don’t fucking make shit up about me to justify it. Don’t fucking take the word of proud fucking aphobes and panphobes and people who literally told me they were going to write incest porn just to fucking trigger me at face value.

You have a problem with something I’ve actually fucking done wrong? Cool. Fine. Block me. You should.

But don’t fucking lie about me because you have nothing better to do with your time.

[disasterjones]

Jarrett. Give us the tea my dude

Jarett: Describe your worst boss or teacher you've ever had.

my time has come,, 

this is obscenely long, apologies

okay so I used to work at a credit union (it’s basically a bank but they push this concept of “community” and “we’re not like the banks” except that they are, do not be tempted by their honeycomb claims, they’re as fragile as they are sweet) and I worked in the quality assurance department

we were tasked with everything from balance inquiries to opening accounts to being the equivalent of loan servicers (without the capacity to actually craft the loan agreement for underwriting, because then what would the loan officers do)

my boss, we’ll call him Bob, had two assistant managers, we’ll call them Jenny and August, who were probably the pacific northwest equivalent of Stepford Wives, with Bob being the superficially-agreeable gentleman that welcomes the unaware into the compound for assimilation

so anyway I joined this job through a temp-to-hire position and it was great for the first six months or so (as it turns out, even jobs have honeymoon periods), I made friends with coworkers, I established a presence and something of a reputation for being the friendly-and-decently-quick-learner, which I would later find out was to my detriment, because they took the “quick learner” concept and thought that translated perfectly to “teacher,” and about a year in they gave me a temp to train

the temp was never a problem, although she did sometimes like to be on her phone when we were in the middle of a call, but I’m just an employee that’s giving pointers, I’m not a boss nor am I her mother, so I don’t bother to give her too much hassle about it. she still manages to keep decent call times for a newbie and is able to navigate our systems after a little bit of repetition

this was the beginning of my issues with Bob, as he wanted me to be more strict and adhere as closely his own inflexible schedule as possible. problem is I can’t force a person to learn faster, nor had I asked for the responsibility of training someone in the first place. why hadn’t they asked someone with more experience? sure I’d learned the ins and outs of the programs okay, but i hadn’t developed the tools to quickly de-escalate angry callers yet, hadn’t even been given access to several systems I was expected to use to train this temp, but being behind was my fault no matter what I said

I’d already been dealing with some subtle snideness and condescension from Jenny and August on top of that, and it took me ages to realize it’s because I was the only person that didn’t engage in makeup culture (partially bc I can’t afford that shit lol) and that was literally the reason why: I wasn’t “put together” or “company ready,” even though I never personally interacted with members or anyone on site beyond people in my immediate department

so a year and a half of this, of subtle underhanded remarks and difficult demands, of having constant rising expectations and quotas, told at every turn that our goal is to have as many new members as possible, all the while a broken record of lie, just repeating constantly that “sales don’t matter, it’s about the community” 

(EXCEPT GET ALL THE ACCOUNTS DON'T LET THEM SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS YOU FUCKING FAILURE YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM 3 ACCOUNTS YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM A GOOD RATE ON THE NEW CREDIT CARD IF THEY JUST SIGNED UP BUT REMEMBER WE DON’T WANT TO SELL THEM ANYTHING)

finally it’s Christmas time and I’ve been busting my hump for the whole year and it’s my second year so I’m eligible for a bonus and I’m literally gonna burst I’m so happy... until Bob and Co. announce that, despite all our stellar efforts this year, despite that we are ahead of company projections by a 15% margin across all departments, despite that I personally (and by proxy our department) was responsible for the acquisition of an account worth over 1.3 million, we were told our Christmas bonuses were actually going to be a bit sparser than they were the year prior, my first year, the year I got a $75 Fred Meyer gift card in

I had been looking forward to a cash bonus and had worked my ass off for it, had been damn near guaranteed it during a number of team/personal reviews with the managers, but surprise! three days before christmas, all I have to look forward to is $50 to a place that I can reasonably get a single pair of shoes from (and maybe some socks)

it’s a month or so later that the Big Change happens, and the entire building of employees moves across town to a new location. some people get let go in the shuffle, including one of my close friends I’d met there. financially stressed though she was, I could see how much happier she was to be out of that place, and I started to get inklings of leaving as my mental health began to deteriorate. another result of this change is that the parking availability for employees is cut down to a third of what we used to have, except it’s even less because most of the spots at the new building are intended for members, so everybody’s carpooling or riding bikes or bussing

side note: carpooling is all well and good in a green initiative, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to coordinate more than two people for a carpool? either you can make us carpool or you can have us in on time, you can’t have both

a bit of advice for anybody new to the job circuit or who might have trouble deciphering “appropriate” social gestures: no matter how open they say you can be, no matter how friendly or amenable they appear to be to mental health struggles, don’t fall for that trap and think you can show any moment of weakness. it’s true that not everyone will react the way my managers did, but don’t take the chance if you can help it. on the surface, they understood. on the surface they said they were with me.

i would go on to walk in on those same people mocking my symptoms and talking about how it can’t be that bad, that I must be trying to get attention.I was labeled unprofessional, and no matter how much they encouraged open communication and preached how “life happens and things get rough for people,” I was still an acceptable target. 

so I took my complaint to HR, who at first seemed taken aback at the notion that, of anybody, BOB could be engaging in such careless and callous behavior. “Oh, he’s such a nice man! I’m sure he didn’t mean those things.” and because he wasn’t the one saying them, but rather laughing along with them, and because it was my word against theirs, it was unlikely to go anywhere

time crawls on and it’s about march or so when everything finally snaps in my brain. getting out of bed feels like selling my soul and going to work feels more like torture than a paycheck. on The Dawn Of The Day That Broke My Back, I was up and ready, out in front of my apartment and chain smoking to keep myself awake, when I realized that no matter when my carpool shows up now, we’re going to be late

I try to keep myself in decent spirits, not be a grumposaurus on the way in. I feel prepared for the day, got my coffee and my lunch in a bag and a nice outfit and I feel like maybe today won’t be as bad as the rest of the month has been, even though we’ll be late

we arrive about 10 after, but I’ve got Jenny and August’s numbers in my phone, so I’ve sent them messages ahead of time to let them know that the carpool was a bit late because traffic has been troublesome. I don’t remember how true it was, but the point is I did my part to let them know ahead of time that we weren’t no-shows, just a bit delayed. as I’m walking in (mind you, following and followed by a number of other individuals just as late as me), Bob singles me out, pointing first at me and then another aggressive point in the direction of a closed office space 

fun fact: with the new change in locations, he no longer has his own office, in fact he now sits directly adjacent to me and close enough to hear me speak under my breath, something I had to be constantly aware of

he ignores the confusion on my face as soon as we’re inside and immediately begins to accuse me of slacking off, saying I’ve been skipping out on and coming late into work constantly, and I need to “get it together” or I’ll be out of a job. I try to express that I’m not trying to shirk my responsibilities, just that I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal stuff and it’s affecting my focus. He doesn’t care, his frustration continuing to escalate, and every time I offer a response or rebuttal to an unfair statement, he gets angrier and changes what he’s upset about.

Finally it happens. 

“You were late! 10 minutes late! You need to be in your chair at your desk and ready to sign in and be ready to take calls BY 8:00!!” 

I have grown tired of him yelling for no reason, and the backbone that had crumbled away over the last two and a half years suddenly snaps back into place hard as steel. 

“I would like to know why this is all aimed at me specifically, when you saw me enter with the remainder of my carpool, the carpool that you all made us set up in the middle of construction season, which of course is happening on the only road that leads here. 

“I would like to know how I’m supposed to control the environment or lives of the other people I am stuck riding with every day for this job that supposedly cares about us, even though it doesn’t seem to care about the extra expenses or time  crunch we now have to endure as a result of this change that miraculously doesn’t affect you. 

“I would like to know who put that stick so far up your ass that you thought it was necessary to yell at your employee about 10 damn minutes. If you don’t mind, I have a job to get to.”

And I go and sit at my desk. He fumes quietly in the office for a while before coming out to his desk, returning to whatever he was doing before he pulled me aside to treat me like a child.

Not a few hours later, I get a call from a member that had been working directly with Bob (big ordeal that needed a manager a few days prior, so he was the go-to for this particular account), and they wanted to speak with him, claiming it was urgent. I hold the call and stand up, trying to get Bob’s attention quietly since there’s other calls happening around me. I call his name quietly, saying “phone for you, it’s [member’s name]” but he doesn’t seem to hear me because he doesn’t respond. So again, I whisper his name, this time leaning more towards him to hopefully catch his eye with the movement, but he cuts me off before I can get the member’s name out

He starts yelling. Like, at the top of his voice, yelling. In a small room, to a person less than 5 feet away, audible to everyone both on a call and not (I would later find out it was also audible over the phone! a member asked what the yelling was about. but I’m the unprofessional one)

“CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY? WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO BOTHER ME WITH CAN WAIT. GET BACK TO WORK.”

The resolve I’d summoned earlier didn’t stay with me, and this was the final straw. It’s one thing to be berated to and humiliated one on one, it’s another to be on the receiving end of it in the presence of 20 other people. I get back on the phone and tell the member, “I’m very sorry, he’ll have to return your call. He’s unavailable at the present.” and hung up, because I was about to cry and I needed to get out. I log out of everything, lock my computer, pick up my belongings and wave to one of my carpoolmates as I walk out and down to HR

they wound up convincing me to stay for a few more weeks, especially after they fired Bob (who it would turn out was going through a divorce, his second in four years, and I just happened to be the punching bag he needed that day), but eventually I left and never went back

[ Critical Role Ask Meme ]

[lillovespells]

“‘Mother’... is the name for god , on the lips & hearts of all children... “

MEN HAVE HEARTS. WOMEN HAVE WOMBS.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE KIND , NURTURING , LOVING , CONSISTENTLY PATIENT COMPASSIONATE / ENCOURAGING TEACHERS... ¡! you are Angels on Earth & your energy is the kind of beauty that melts me entirely... honestly. i’ve never seen a sexier side of a female than the calm resilient strength that sighs in the souls of dedicated Mothers... Mothers who refuse to let any parts of a Heart go unprotected or spiritually unhappy...

💐💜😽💐💜😽💐💜😽 we’re doing all this talking about ‘Mother’s’ , but we’re not talking about MOTHERHOOD. & that’s horrifying... b/c wombs are the key to this world...

i love to see people’s mother’s day pictures. where they come from always makes perfect sense... you always see the core of a person’s energy in their mother. b/c that’s all a womb is. energy’s incubator.

people always attempt to pick-at me & bully me & side-eye me , b/c i’ve made it so clear that i had a shitty ‘mom’ i had to psychologically mother & actually take care of... but , that’s literally 90% of the population. so i’ve never been embarrassed about it... & when people try to use it against me , it only clarifies who’s the same type of Heartless.

& Heartlessness is actually what i’m about to go in on... b/c to BE A MOTHER IS TO BE A HEART... to be the very energy that feelings come from. that Power is being completely disrespected... by all ages of females - in America - ... & it’s too clear that the Womb being the Root of Birth , needs to be reiterated for today’s female who may have lost touch w/ that reality & lives like less than a vessel of Life.

maybe it would help the recent Feminine to comprehend that the overall Masculine ONLY SEES THEM AS ‘ HOLY - DOORS ‘ ... literally. i promise you... the Masculine is only responding to how you’re treating your Spiritual Duty to shape their seeds. from overprotective , to disrespectful , to evasive , to disappearing... ALL those things men get accused of doing out of their ‘insensitivity’ ; are actually behaviors that come DIRECTLY from their Vulnerability... no matter how the masculine treats you , don’t be upset... b/c they’re only reflecting YOUR behavior... if they see you disrespect what they see as Holy ; they’ll disrespect it twice as harmful as you do. & if that doesn’t wake you ; then obviously you’re enjoying whatever it is you do... if you’re unhappy ; it’s always about some mismanagement of your emotions... b/c , if you ASK A MAN A DIRECT QUESTION ; HE WILL ANSWER YOU... & as long as you’re not lying to your Self ; you’ll accept their Rational / Answers... & yeah , that does take Responsibility... but ; it’s a FUN responsibility. to be in touch w/ the Masculine’s / Honesty. & so what...? what’s to be afraid of ; ask how they feel & what they want ; & if it’s not you... you don’t have to waste your time... it might not even be an insult... ( & if you can control your insecurities long enough to continue the conversation ; you could maintain a plug & the answers your looking for... )

if you’re not afraid to be all these other dramatic things y’all love to describe yourselves as; why are you afraid of Honesty ? it’s this absence of honesty / awareness within a female’s heart , that brings forth equally empty children that cause others their searching pains instead of growing alongside everyone else... cycles of the exact same sadness ; recreated by the ones who aren’t ready to devote their whole lives to someone else , creating more who’ll do the same... the ones who think money buys love but leave their family’s emotions as unattended to as their own ; & create the sociopaths that seek destruction instead of connection to soothe themselves.

‘Womben’ , bring Life forth... literal Life Force... & there is nothing more sexy than what sustains life... more & more men even release their Masculine naturally , to attempt to embody the vessel of the Purity / Feminine. the beauty is incomparable ; even in the animal kingdom... & the beauty of ‘mortal’ / human females is said to have brought ‘Gods’ / extraterrestrials / entities from all elsewhere to touch them...

TO BE THE FEMININE IS TO BE A HEALER. to be all Heart & Cleansing & Cultivating... to Be a Source for Growth & Evolution & Safety... but , now everybody wants to be prided on being the exact opposite while still getting praise for those attributes they’re rejecting... the confusion is at an all time time ; w/ rage being used as a tool to bring awareness to the lost happiness of women that they’re trying too hard to blame on men... but ; we all ask ourselves ; what is a womb that doesn’t Grow...? & we know the answer is stagnation. b/c the matter comes down to how you use your Heart / Love. do you use your Self to hurt or heal your environments...¿? if you truly have Motherhood in your Heart , you WILL nurture especially the worst situations , instinctively.

i know i’m archaic af... dumb ‘old-fashioned’ for these new school viral hookers... lol. we don’t ever respect each other & that’s a part of life i’m more than fine w/... b/c i’m greedy actually... & i don’t mind hoarding all the legitimacy for me... b/c , i’ve always loved to be the best thing by a man’s side , like a loyal friend or dog or watch... lol. a part of a legacy / Family... a ‘King’ that matched my ‘Queen’... so , call that ‘traditional as you will... i’ve never seen the problem w/ being looked after like an object ; but now that’s incredibly offensive , most females say... meanwhile they’re nude & chasing every handout they can ungratefully demand , as they sell their souls to their insecurities & emotionally abuse anyone who won’t immediately give them what they want...

so honest question , wtf happened to the female standard...? our power of ‘CHOOSING’. since the dawn of feminine culture , we’ve primped our lives in order to ‘pick’ what suits / surrounds us... now there’s so much self loathing , the settling for nothing & complaining about everything is the trend... other females literally won’t even accept me b/c men make me happy... lol. b/c i’m not confused & angry or dishonest / slutty. females refuse to befriend me b/c they know i won’t tolerate the spiritual disloyalty... but they’d rather hate happiness to excuse their irresponsible trauma , than have a friend that could change their life... & they’re the same egomaniacs in their relationships as well. choosing who they can dominate instead of who they can Evolve w/. comfort over productivity unfortunately. & then they wonder why they end up alone , or emotionally alone...

nobody even comprehends the difference between being sexual for attention / ‘slutty’ or being sexual for satisfaction / ‘freaky’... & that was always something only your mother could proper instill... so we lost it decades ago ; when females decided that respecting themselves shouldn’t be required for their strength or creativity... so , now everything is the same thirsty over exposed attempts at understanding themselves , before they even understand what they’re exposing or who they want to be. just spiritual infants , born from the emotionally unavailable girls who don’t know what love is to teach it to someone else yet.

what kind of ‘Love’ do you give...? what kind of Love lives in your Heart...? how do you feel about your self...? b/c that’s exactly what your love feels like... your heart is actually what you’re feeding your children... BELIEVE THAT. what you put into their Heart is actually what sustains them their entire lives.

a father’s presence is meant to instill the masculine traits a child requires... like emotional acceptance / balance , positive attitude / rationality , strength / backbone / integrity... the resilience a heart needs , is meant to be observed from a more masculine / protective force... lack of emotional control leads to all the confusion children go through. & all the confusion leads to them being nothing but the social burdens that are insecure / egomaniacs & prey on instead of Love others ; b/c their hearts did not grow w/ Love as an ingredient... a father can discipline flesh & mind ; but only female can make the Heart vulnerable enough to be taught... soft enough to allow lessons to be absorbed. without the female threshold of Vulnerability , a child begins to die spiritually...

our nurturing is supernatural. that’s why our vulnerability is our juggernaut power...

please don’t have kids until you understand what kind of souls you want to bring into the world... what kind of hearts are you adding to our Collective...? what pieces of your Self would you be putting your children together w/...? i heard the most heart wrenching beautiful quote that always stays w/ me prominently... it was basically , ‘ having children is deciding to allow a piece of your Heart , to run around outside of you & have it’s own life without you ‘ ... & that’s a principal so astounding when you level w/ the fact that so many kids are being born from heartlessness. but , admitting that , explains every aspect of depression in the world...

i wish we could go back to understanding wombs. be aware of their healing properties & miracle energy... Connect to the actual source of our beauty / Vulnerability... we poison our temples w/ too many things... spiritually mentally & physically.

motherhood is a level of womanhood that cannot be faked whether you have kids or not... your emotional mind will be reflected through the attitude intelligence & integrity of your offspring... think of yourself as a farm, what do you produce...? is what comes from you, safe for the world to consume ? you’re having kids but you might be setting traps ; or becoming one yourself...

knowing what kind of mother i wanted to be , changed my life.

we become our mothers. every single one of us. undeniably the composition of our mother’s emotions at the time we were growing in the midst of them. i’m the same ferociously unchangeable sharp tongue & laser observation skills, ocd & vanity of mine. all the fury she had, i embody. channeled into the exact opposite directions. but definitely equal parts Armageddon... just Focused.

i’m actually Grateful... pressure is Diamonds.

& speaking of Mother’s ; y’all got ass shots posted beside your mother on mother’s day & it is cracking me up & proving my point... &&& your half-nudes are posted beside your kids... & you don’t even understand the respect that comes w/ supporting another life... much less nurturing one. because your mother never taught you that your mind mattered more , or she wouldn’t be letting you have - much less post - the insecurities you have. &&& to personally go as far as to not even consider your kids futures & how they’ll grow up in a social media determined society ; w/ their own mother next to nude beside the other public photos of their personal life... to disrespect the CHILDHOOD of your own children ; by not only exposing them to your own nudity... but then directly involving their personal lives in it. so every time someone sees them , they’re associated w/ you flaunting your body for social media. that’s horribly selfish. & almost as sick as hiding your children like your shame.

( & if that’s you... congrats , you guys are single handedly supplying the worlds psychopaths... growing into their disassociation skills they’re learning from your ‘cold’ / ‘nice-for-what’ / ‘boss / bitch / bad’ dime-a-dozen washed-up empty attitudes... as the embarrassment that turns to ptsd , evolves into apathy & surfaces when they become another cliche serial killer focused on unsuspecting / ignorant / friendly females... & not to mention , adding more empty zombie fury of lowerminded females to the mix of already unhappy masculine energy... )

look ladies... yeah , you’re an instagram model that has to post near nudes to stay relevant in the clubs you turn out... we get it. but contract some social management that can explain to you the marketing importance of separating your family & their lifestyle from your own... maybe starting w/ having a separate page for your ‘modeling’ or professional things or business endeavors... save your kids for the people most intimate w/ you... & that creates a healthy environment for everybody’s personal growth... ( your kids don’t have to be ridiculed or judged or excluded or discriminated against , for your public choices... when you could be protecting them from that scrutiny. )

moral of the story of Female Culture is ; THINKING ABOUT THE GOOD OF OTHERS IS WHAT MAKES YOU A WOMAN & IS THE HEART OF A ‘MOTHER’... birth , has nothing to do w/ Motherhood. & we all know that inside.

the fall of the Collective occurred when bitter females decided they wanted to compete against the mental strength of masculinity , w/ the confused / emotions of femininity... when females got jealous of the emotional freedom of the masculine rationale... instead of being responsible / straightforward as males; their insecurities made them see men as reckless... & so they only pretended to be heartless & only wounded themselves too deep to trust...

THE BRUISES ON THE COLLECTIVE FEMININE EGO , ARE WHAT DETERMINE THE RULES OF AMERICAN SOCIETY... &&& THAT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED... basing the standards of life on the ever changing insecurities of estrogen’s instability ; is destroying EVERYTHING. it’s already made everybody too sensitive to be themselves or be comfortable w/ acceptance.

ITS BECOME A WAR ON MASCULINITY. THE WAR AGAINST RATIONALITY. a fight to suppress emotional strength & mental responsibilities & societal integrity.

— & now... females base ENTIRE RELATIONSHIPS ON SOCIAL MEDIA STATUS... & you can’t even ‘date’ / discover a female legitimately / respectfully... b/c , having a mate has to be comparable to paparazzi. & most base EVERYTHING on social media display before actual emotional relevance. girls will pursue & tolerate & hate based upon an imaginary standard of strangers egos, instead of their own souls. & it’s worsening day by day. even exploiting their children for donations or likes or simply attention.... it’s disgusting. & my heart has been shattered by females posting selfies after the suicides of their sad husbands, as if attention is all they ever wanted; even before grieving. shallow is basically the only option.

& what happens to this world once Wombs have all shallowed...? once there’s no discipline left to restrain emotions & create solutions / productivity instead of more emotions...¿? look around you , if you’re ready for the answer , you already see it...

one more question... what kind of ‘mother’ or ‘woman’ or ‘female’ or ‘feminine’ are you , if you don’t even have the strength to accept & nurture & grow & heal & soften the most brutal aspects of our world...? that IS our ‘Power’ , to soften , NEVER TOUGHEN. that is the Magik within our majesty... Vulnerability. so if you cannot be welcoming understanding & encouraging , solve those issues for the sake of everything.

( even the strongest / toughest men have to kneel to the sacredness of Vulnerability... & the most intelligent ones embody it as a protective mentality. )

don’t kill the strength of the Masculine , then wonder why your disrespectful distractions are killing you.

— &&& that DOES go for MEN too.

( &&& DEPRAVITY ; ONLY COMES A STEP BEFORE YOU’RE DEAD-INSIDE. so never stop respecting your Seed. don’t forget your Power to Create / Soul itself... )

& if y’all don’t STOP treating your children like your personal little trained-pony / ego-valets to assist in your manipulations... & / or , earn your checks... & using your innocent daughters , like your last chance to be slutty... & abusing your sons emotionally , like they’re your last chance to get a man’s affection... i’ll hafta’ start hexxxing y’all worse than karma ; w/ the permission of Source... b/c you’re worse than all evil. b/c , aware you’re fully aware that you’re intentional abusers... you’re suffocating others w/ your hell... you are not Spiritually ‘allowed’ to use the life of an innocent to feed your ego... & I WILL CALL YOU OUT. no doubt.

[percontaion-points]

Let’s Play “Moments: Hold Me, Leave Me” Part 5

Anyway, the owner of the resort-half is Jayden's and Grayson's father. Angela is obviously shocked at this, although Jayden insists (at least in front of daddy dearest), that the two of them have never met before. Either they really haven't, Jayden doesn't remember about having met Angela before, or he's lying. Angela pretends to be cool about this entire thing.

Dad wanders off to go talk to somebody else, which leaves Jayden to introduce Angela to somebody else. He acts completely smug about the entire thing, and Angela thinks that he's going to be a problem.

For some reason, it's the step-mom from Challenge Accepted? Except that least her weird leather dress makes way more sense in the context of Hold Me, Leave Me. A SAHM does not need to wear that dress.  

Anyway, Caroline doesn't seem to like Angela very much... for some reason. My guess is that she's Jayden's girlfriend, and she knows that Jayden is about to become a datable. (And because I fucking hate Grayson and would like to chuck him directly into the sun, I think my only other option now is Jayden... Le sigh) Caroline introduces Angela to some more people, before she tells Angela that “the dress you're wearing isn't very classy.” At least I don't look like I'd offer $5 blow-jobs behind a Burger King... Angela insists that how she dresses doesn't affect her work, and she pointedly stares at Caroline's exposed cleavage. Caroline insists that how you dress is a way of presenting yourself. SAYS THE LADY IN A FUCKING LEATHER MINI-DRESS! Angela then suggests that they should go shopping right now, since this is clearly more important than anything. Caroline quickly excuses herself. Uh-huh.

William comes to say goodbye. After he leaves, Jayden comes over and lays down the rules. He doesn't want for Angela to mix with his side of the business, and insists that she remain at the “hotel” part. Angela is curt to him, but her words drip with venom and sarcasm. He leaves, and Caroline asks her why he was so upset. She also seems to know an awful lot about Jayden, so points towards my girlfriend theory.

Angela is shown her office, and after a while, taken to meet her boss.

AND IS EVERY FREAKING CHARACTER HERE FROM CHALLENGE ACCEPTED? This is the mom from that game!

Diana is quick to tell Angela that nobody forced her to take Angela on as an intern, despite her father. She then explains that these floors are the lower-paying rooms, these are the higher paying ones, and then these are the VIP rooms, plus the rooftop area. She sets Angela to come up with some room designs, and to go look at some of the other rooms.

Angela goes upstairs, where she picks a room at random to look at. However, she's like “Hm, looks like somebody's staying here, even though the hotel's not open yet?” She tries to leave, but for some reason, the door won't open. And guess whose room it is? (Go on, guess.)

She finds Jayden's journal, and starts to panic a little, but if she's trapped in the room, there's not much she can do right now. She decides to open it and start reading it (because when you're trapped in the hotel room of a guy who clearly can't stand you, the first thing I think is to read his private journal.) And then we have a title drop, because of course.

Jayden comes in, and Angela hides behind the curtains. He's talking on the phone, to Grayson, talking about their father. Apparently, daddy's cut Grayson off. He kind of deserves it. However, either Jayden is stupid or he just loves his brother enough, he's given Grayson some money via a joint bank account.

Jayden ends the all, and then starts to change. AND OH JEEZ, WHY. (Also, if I was Angela, I would have played up the entire 'just studying the rooms' thing, so that it wouldn't be weird. She's going to get caught in 3... 2...) He then notices her hiding behind the curtain the mirror and screams at her to get out. Which... wouldn't you? Damn, she's stupid and being kind of creepy. She screams at him about what happened... but offers nothing about why she was fucking hiding behind the curtain like a creeper.

She storms from the room, but he stops her. He apologizes, and rightly says that he doesn't like people invading his privacy. SHE WAS HIDING BEHIND THE CURTAINS... She tells him that he has a fever, which 1) Caroline told her this earlier and 2) she can feel how hot he is even with him holding onto her wrist. She insists that he should take some medicine, and that nothing could be more important than his health. He asks why she cares so much, but she insists that she doesn't.

She goes back down to her office, when Ashton calls. She tells him that she's having a hard time at work. Although it's been like ten fucking minutes, JFC. Grow a backbone. He just wanted to check in on her, and quickly hangs up.

Caroline comes barging in and starts barking out orders... which seems highly suspicious. Like I get that Angela's an intern, but dear lord, she's not fucking stupid. However, it's probably best not to continue to piss her off, so Angela agrees to do the work. But the second that she turns it in to Caroline, she chucks it into the trash and says that Diana doesn't need it anymore. Uh-huh.

At lunch, somebody comes in to give Angela a sandwich, which she didn't order, but it's her favorite. She questions one of the other ladies, who was said to have placed the order, but she says that Jayden said to order it for Angela.

At the end of the day, Angela leaves the building to call for a cab (and what's wrong with the office phones?), when she literally runs into Jayden. She says that nobody told her when her hours were supposed to be, and he offers her a ride home. BUT THAT'S VIP. However, despite Angela insisting that she'll call a cab, which could take hours to get there. He's worried about her being mostly alone at the resort, so he calls his driver and asks him to take Angela where ever she asks right now. Angela argues about this, but Jayden gets angry that she's so argumentative. She takes his car back home, and the entire time, she can't stop thinking about Jayden.

After a shower and change of clothes, Angela gets a text from Grayson. She tells him about working with Jayden, but Grayson insists that his brother isn't that bad. Grayson says he has a nice apartment. In LA. Even though he's been cut off financially. Uh-huh. He sucking dick out there or something? He also says that the female lead is pretty, and that he misses Angela.

The next morning, Angela thinks about what Caroline said, so she tries to find something “approrpiate” to wear to work. However, upon not finding anything in her own closet, she decides to raid Amelia's closet. Since it's before noon, Amelia's still asleep. She looks through Amelia's closet, and finds a dress, but eventually decides that she shouldn't have to change who she is just to please some asshole lady who's not even really your boss. Downstairs, William asks Angela to join him for breakfast, but she insists that she doesn't want to be late and leaves. In her own car.

When Angela gets in, Caroline and Diana stare at her, and Jayden doesn't show any outward signs, but Angela can tell by the look in his eyes that he's aroused by her. She never really wanted to catch his attention, but seeing Caroline being so jealous is a perk, she decides. She and Diana go into Angela's office to talk design.

Later, Angela bumps into Caroline who's like “your sister is a slut.” Lol, yes she is. Your point? She also implies that, since Angela is “dressed nice”, Angela must also be a slut. (By that standard, you're probably just as much of a slut as Amelia is.) Angela ignores her. Caroline accuses Angela of trying to land herself Jayden, but Angela's just like “I got this job because of my dad and my talents. I don't care about Jayden.”

Caroline storms off, and Angela realizes that Jayden was behind her... pretty much the entire time. She then randomly projectile vomits onto Jayden's shoes. She vomits again, this time over herself, and then passes out. And here we go...

[absolutelyiris]

i wish regular people & the media would respect eva so much more - she's not ryan's "baby mama", she's his girlfriend and he obviously is very dedicated to her - plus, she didn't "refuse" to accompany him to the oscar's, she made her own decision to stay home with her daughters and i'm sure he totally respected that. people need to accept they are together & really happy at that - & need to stop shaming or trying to tear them apart - ps i love the little things you find about them - so lovely

Yeah, people are really gross about it. Brad and Angelina were unmarried with kids for years and I personally can't remember the media doing that "baby daddy/mama" shit, and I sadly don't think it would be happening if Eva were white. And the whole "shipping Gosling with every white actress he interacts with/hoping he dumps his lady for them because omg so cute!!!!" is a whole other level of gross. Their relationship and Eva specifically is treated with a ton of dismissive hand waving and disrespect, it rubs me the wrong way. This isn't some fling, they've been together six years (longer than ANY of his other relationships), they have two kids, and Gosling has been unusually open and blunt about how happy and devoted he is to Eva and their children- like, I don't understand any of the baseless speculation and disrespect.And to be honest, Eva won't ever win with some of his fans and the media. They walk a red carpet, their every interaction will be microanalyzed and Eva will be judged and insulted for her appearance, her age, any baby weight she still has on, etc. She's accused of not supporting him (even though Ryan has been vocal about her being his backbone behind the scenes) and when she openly does, she gets accused of being calculating and manipulative because of the "backlash," when honestly? I get the feeling Ryan doesn't give a shit about red carpet junk? Some of his fans are more outraged on his behalf over Eva's absence than Ryan himself is. And that in itself just seems like a chance for everyone to pile on the WOC for not being the perfect wife and mother up to their impossible standards. Tl;dr- Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes seem really happy and in love with each other and their babies and also seem to be really happy and in love with their privacy and current public arrangement and people, media and fans alike, need to leave Eva be unless she chooses to put stuff out there. And you're welcome! We get so little but they're really cute and if people would stop hating and just watch Ryan's films and enjoy her blurry ass instagram pics, I could not have to side eye y'all every other day lol.