#lol dont mind the 5th pic..

[daddldee]

　　　➷　　┈　　i belong to you　　✶　　⌑

[froghwon]

so I'm answering in an ask instead of dm cause my reveal gift to you is running slightly late and I wanna keep the mystery hope you dont mind! I spent part of xmas weekend moving so I'm a bit behind on things 😅 I traveled a couple hours north of where I live so not far at all! went to see my mom and nephews! and siblings I GUESS lol. ohhhh see in my schools recorders were like a v brief thing then (1/6)

at 5th grade we could chose to start in orchestra if we wanted (I did and ended up playing violin for seven years). ahh its always a bummer when super good urls are just sitting unused. the dolls I've gotten are all the cute plushie style ones that go for sale on twitter! the first seungkwan one I have is so cute the hoodie it wears has a tangerine on it and just the overall size and shape is fantastic for pcs I think jun and shua have been the ones I've pulled most? I bought a regular version of attaca the other day and the big transparent thing in it was shua and I know I had an album that had a shua lenticular in it too. semicolon? I've been trying to start collecting for victon! there's a store I'm near sometimes when I go visit my parents or friends back home that sells albums and they've had victon before so each time I go I check and if they have an album/version I don't have I get it and add it to my collection. I've gotten a lot of luck pulling one of my biases in their albums so far. I super wanna get their lightstick in a month or so. I did get hao's!! getting tattoo colored is a great purchase too!! can I ask what your tattoo is of? reminds me I need my two big ones touched up something awful. yeah the sleeve thing is a gripe I have with the regular version too. the things on the side have no bottom so half the stuff falls out! omg jealous you get a week off!! I go back to work tomorrow morning wahh haha. I hope dinner with your parents was nice and oh mann cornbread sounds yummy. my old roomate made some once that had bacon bits in it it was soo good!! haha idk where my guess would have been that you live but if you got that white christmas I'm gonna say LUCKY!! lol it was so warm here on christmas it didn't even register that it was winter. I mean I wore sleeves but I didn't even need a coat it was so warm! -secret carat

haha that's no problem! i like the ~mystery~ omg moving during the holidays?!? ur so brave, moving is so much work D: i hope ur settling in ok <3 oh how nice! are your nephews young? are they old enough that you can play with/talk to them?

oh cool!! string instruments seem so complicated to me >.<

ikr??? they could at least switch to it temporarily 😒😒 oh cute!!! a small seungkwan 🥺 lol we always have the best luck with the members we dont bias :'') i got shuas pc from my attacca album, but the vocal u concept was my fave (the mermaid one they did for ver 2), so i wasnt mad <3 oh cooool :D idk anything about victon, but im all about enabling people to consume hehehe oh wow! i havent bought any lightsticks yet, they're so expensive D: i figured if i ever go to a svt or mx concert, i'll just get the lightstick then :> oh nice!! and i did end up ordering dk's version bc i got an amazon giftcard for christmas lol ✌️🤪 yeah! i got a big jellyfish on my hip 😊😊 and i got it done in a watercolor style so it's not completely filled in, and theres spots where it looks like the colors are bleeding out :> i can dm u a pic later ^^ oooooo when did u get ur tattoos?

oh rip <3 i hope ur week goes by quickly! idk what im gonna do with all this free time ksdnfksdf i just binged movies all weekend :P dinner was good! we made a bit too much, so we had the leftovers for dinner today :P also i ended up making biscuits instead of cornbread hehe and i was planning to make milk bread tomorrow! ^^ ooooo bacon cornbread sounds so good 🤤 maybe if my mom makes soup sometime this week, i'll make cornbread :> and i did get a white christmas! it snowed a lot on christmas day, and it snowed more this morning, this is what it looked like in my neighborhood today

u didnt need a coat? kjdnsckjsd wow u must live further down south, i live in canada, and its freezing >.< i took my glove off for a few minutes to look at something on my phone and i thought my hand was gonna fall off :P

i hope u had an awesome holiday weekend! ❤️💚 ty for making time for me even when ur busy moving :'')

[looking4mybambi]

Alright soo ik bdsm/dominant & submissive relationships have so many gender roles that differ from couple to couple, and how each person partakes in that role as individuals in a relationship are different.

As people we all like different things as well and we all SHOULD know what we like as individuals and in a real COMMITTED goal oriented unbreakable successful dom/sub relationship each person knows everything that their person likes and should naturally forget about knowing his or her own likes because each of you got that on lock and can please there person without them telling you when its needed and how to do it or what they are in the mood for..

I am a dominant. But for me I'm a bit different from most . Growing up as a kid very familiar with poverty, I didn't have very many friends so what attention I got was being laughed at for having such bug feet being so young plus I was the tallest in my class up till the end of middleschool, I had long lanky arms a good bit of baby fat (as ma use to call it) and long legs with goofy ass knees so I hated shorts because back in elementary where the bullying started, I may be wrong about this but I don't think Walmart could carry any and1 basket ball shorts that covered my knees nor could we afford It honestly. The kids would call me things like "jolly green giant, sasquach, big dumb (especially if I had to read out loud.. I'm not a good out loud reader) big retard or just tard.. that line of name-calling cease to exist come my 5th and 6th grade years.. mind u I spent an extra year in 4th grade soo I was just adding more fule t on the fire for my later years.

My mother, a single mom of 2 terrorists that worked her hardest to make sure we had what we needed and by doing so came overtime hours after working solid 12s 5 nights a week so she now worked 7 12s a week to get her ot in and be home in the morning to feed us and get us off to school so she can relax and sleep. Like any exhausted human, if there's something that can help you feel good enough to work 7 days a week and be able to parent with the bare minimum sleep, I think most would consider the option heavly. And then addiction..... sooo yeah more hell in school. Long story short .. I got tortured in school. It subsided in the last 2 years before I quit my jr year. But anywho my friends consisted of band in 5-6 grade football and wrestling in 7-8 -9-10 (injuries wrecked my entire school also didn't help my popularity non. And lastly jrotc my freshman year in high school. And a ton of females did band and jrotc (basically a free period lol) so I got tight with females in school while the dudes bullied the fuck out of me... I learned how to be a gorls best friend, do hair, nails, make up. Whatever I needed to learn I did... then sports was where I learned that most men are pigs weather its in a locker room. Or at home she another huge plus and can relate to females. I learned how to gossip and and learned any and all kinds of things girls like from fat free foods to why yell what those socks that look kinda like jon boats or canoes yaknow the shortest socks and adult human could even wear def entirely to short to even be related to ankle socks and how do yall keep them things on your feet while in shoes?!?! Some welfare witchcraft type shit goin on there ima throw that out there 🤣 hell my moms almost died one day she asked me how her hair looked after she curled the sides of her hair on either cheek but she curled both sides to the insides of her cheeks and I told her teacher try curling them out it would look better and she was stunned that I knew what I was talking about . Long story short I took so much time knowing whT makes yell tick, physically, mentally, stomachally ;p, definitely sexually.

Sooo on to this i watched ole ma get beet on by men my whole life and when I tried to fight em off her ( almost every fight that got physical between my mom and a man) there i was right i. The middle of the action knot knowing what the fuck ima do next i was only 11 so I took moms beating more than once.

I've been beaten on by females, alot... yea big ole me.. absolutely refuses to hit back. and ill die that way.

All these events me me the dominant that I am today... I'm strong and I will fight even if I don't want to. I am a protector. My person will feel safe, I can't take fear away ofcorse but I promise she won't be fearful of me.

I take care of my person idc what she ASKS of me ill do it. My rules are simple.

1.) Don't fuckin lie to me.

2.) Don't fucking cheat on me.

3.) Fuckin communicate

4.) DONT FUCKIN BREAK RULE ONE!

Lol I wear my heart on my sleeve and am a very passionate dom. I love giving my person attention and I love to cuddle up to movies, I'm even a hopeless romantic sometimes and I cook I love cooking honestly.

Im also into all sorts of shit forced play, cnc role play and love me a good brat that likes to play hard to get ;)

Most importantly im a dominant that builds his relationship off honesty, respect, compromise and the glue that most dominant men now phase completely out...

LOVE!❤

Now lady's can I ask a very simple question.. well this if me telling whoever will read it about the kind of man I am ofcorse with a recent pic of me (earlier today) to show that im not a terrible looking man.. soo why am I single?

All this is 1000% honest I absolutely DO NOT LIE. I will not play any sort of spin games with anyone. Lol hope someone enjoys

[vvanini]

This bus concept is so cute, and all the art is so amazing!! Do you have head canons for it? Like where are the losers going? How did they choose who they would sit with? Why was Richie sad?

Oh anon thank you so much 💖💖 and im so glad you asked because i am obsessed with bus trips and winter,,, i wanted to combine the two and drew them going on a ski trip jsjdkdkdl so here are my hc's for the losers

-> How they chose who to sit with:

They knew one of them had to sit alone because, well, they are 7 people, someone probably suggested they should draw straws but Bill volunteered right off the bat cuz he wanted to sit alone anyways lol

Stan is definitely the type to always sit on the window seat so he probably just asked a few people if they were okay with him doing that if they sat together and then agreed to sit with the first person who said yes (Bev)

I think Eddie would also be the type to always prefer window seats so he would just sit on one randomly and the other losers would choose their seats accordingly, i dont think they would have preferences over each other, everyone would be fine with sitting with anyone

-> Bill would come wearing the most comfortable clothing he has, he would also bring 2-3 pillows and would be the one to sleep the most lol. He likes to just get comfortable and doze off

-> Stanley would bring a polaroid to take pictures of the birds/views he might like, they also take lots of group pics. Richie uses it to catch the other losers off-guard and take ugly pictures of them

->  Bill = the one who falls asleep first

     Mike = the one who falls asleep last

     Stan = the one who keeps waking up to every little noise

    Bev & Ben = the ones who can sleep despite whatever is unfolding around them

-> When Richie finally falls asleep Stan gives Ben the polaroid and tells him to take a picture of Richie sleeping with his mouth open, as revenge

-> Ben makes the mistake of bringing gum and opening it in front of everyone and all the losers take one, literally leaving him none. But he would be fine with that cuz he's a cool guy 🥺

Him, Bev and Mike would be the ones to bring snacks i think

-> Eddie falling asleep on Mike 🥺 Mike would have the absolute best shoulders/arms to fall asleep on, not to mention their height difference making it perfect for Eddie to rest his head on Mike's shoulder

-> pun war: Richie suggests a  game where you have to make a pun about the chosen topic or pass. 3 passes and you get disqualified. Winner gets Bill's 3rd pillow

Last place: Eddie

6th place: Bev

5th place: Bill

4th place: Mike

3rd place: Stan

2nd place: Richie

1st place: Ben

-> Richie sitting next to Bill when Ben falls asleep cuz he gets bored, or when Mike moves next to Bill he sits next to Eddie, he just changes seats a lot

-> Everybody doing their own thing:

Eddie with his headphones listening to music looking outside, occasionally sharing it with Mike/Richie, feeling like an edgy main character, contemplating life

Mike bringing 2-3 books and attempting to read all of them

Stan looking out the window admiring the view, daydreaming

Ben playing on his gameboy and Bev watching him play from the back, taking turns playing

Bill resting againt his pillows, shoes off, rambling to whoever is listening, dozing off, daydreaming

Bev would bring a few of those friendship bracelet string thingies and he would teach Stan how to make a bracelet and they would make a few for the losers

Richie would play on Ben's gameboy or read comics but he probably would get motion sick and find someone to talk to instead

->  I know it seems like there'd be lots of shenanigans but i dont think they'd cause any ruckus, maybe they'd get too loud once in a while but that would be it i think

-> they would play games like never have i ever or telling facts about themselves that the others dont know about or telling interesting stories

As they get tired it would eventually turn into a therapy session and they would open up one by one, share whatever's upsetting them

The exact story Richie was telling? That's up to your imagination anon, i didn't have something in mind while drawing that sorry :/

That's all i can think of right now, feel free to share your own hc's if you have any!!

Now i wanna be 14 again lol

[ace-apple]

cbuUgw

(chumlochcaight so since i recently made a new ref for her CHORAN MASTERPOST (aka infodumping on my fave oc)

ALL HER INFO UNDER THE CUT (its really fucking long!!)

Part 1: Lochainin

aight so first off ill need to explain lochainin

(the lochainin campaign is set in the year 1987 in michigan (well when they’re not in lochainin) btw!)

choran is actually a dnd character of mine in a campain called lochainin im doing with a couple friends

and this is a group pic of all the player characters i made a while back! ill summarize them from left to right (pls remember that only choran is mine!!)

quinn- 11 yrs old, he/him, jewish, has an affinity for moss and pretty much lives in the woods. druid

hans- 10 years old, he/him, german, loves frogs and is all around baby. druid

emerson- 10 years old, she/her, german, hans’ twin sister. more levelheaded. barbarian (both hans and emerson are technically npcs now, since the person who played the two of them left the campaign) 

choran: 15 years old, she/her, caucasian, chaotic bastard. rogue

delilah- 15 years old, she/her, jersy-italian, her parents have ties to the mafia, choran’s girlfriend, jersey accent. monk

aight so here’s the story/lore

lochainin is an alternate dimension that humans sometimes fall into through puddles. the gang (shown above) jumps in a puddle and falls down into Lochainin. lochainin is a very swamp-like place, but also has other terrain such as forests and caverns. lochainin is inhabited by humanoid frogs and toads (called losgann and buaf/buof respectively), they have human intelligence, posture, and speech capabilities, but some things like modern medicine are foreign to them. 

now there’s this Empire we barely know jack shit about but it exists and most of the humans that fall down end up with the Empire. currently in this campaign all we know is that a lot of people dont like the empire. we just know the empire exists

aight here are the npcs (that i can remember lol) 

- Crecil (losgann, he/him, tavern worker, party found him in a sewer not long after falling into lochainin)

-Ugma (buof, she/her, captain of the local guard in one of the villages)

-Zax (buof, they/them, good at navigating, at the time of writing this we’re going with him to the north to look for dryads cause they might know the way back home)

-Iris (buof, witch in t’og swamp who gives quinn and hans a weird potion that essentially takes them on an acid trip where they both get their druid levels)

locations: T’og swamp- village the party comes across after finding Crecil, has a tavern, local guard (Ugma is the captain) that is pretty much all volunteer work (choran joins up with them for a day at one point), and a market.

Crystal path- cavern with lots of crystals. they have fiberglass like shards when you lick them (we know this because choran licked one of the rocks). has large crystal beetles who’s blood can be cooked for good nutrition.

Part 2: Story

this is just a summary of the stuff that has happened in the campaign so far (as of writing this) (might not be accurate since none of us took any fucking notes lol)

they fall into a puddle and end up in lochainin. choran finds a human skull in a sewer and decides to keep it. they fight a strange acid spitting monster that almost killed choran by getting acid on her arm (that’s where her arm scar is from!) they find crecil in a cage but had found a key earlier. choran takes an axe out of a block of wood they found in a dead end.

they show up at t’og swamp and stay at the tavern. at one point choran gets drunk off of a substance known as death cap ale (death cap being a type of mushroom). we still have no idea if that was poisonous or not. 

uhhh a lot of stuff i dont remember cause it was a while ago and i spaced out a bunch

eventually they come across some tower place i also dont remember why we were there. a couple of losgann were fighting each other, eventually they notice us after one of the party members failed a sneak roll, we fought them but choran killed one of them after getting stabbed in the ankle (she sliced their neck with an axe). since their death was completely unnecessary nobody is very happy with choran for doing this. delilah is especially unhappy with her girlfriend for commiting homicide.

 fasldkjfasolfjasdo;lf and now theyre in the crystal path with zax going to look for the dryads since they might know a way for the party to get out of the place.

Part 3: Choran

oh hey now we finally get to my girl!!! might as well start with the basics of a dnd character: stats and shit

Strength: 13 Dexterity: 17  Constitution: 13  Intelligence: 13  Wisdom: 13  Charisma: 17

(yeah my stat rolls were really crazy)

Alighment: Chaotic Neutral

Race: Human (all of the party is!)

Class: Rogue

unfortunately, i don’t have my character sheet and i dont have it listed elsewhere so i dont remember any of my proficiencies or most of my items, but i do know she has a human skull on her that she found in the sewer they found crecil in

she’s a bit of a wild child, rebellious teen phase is turned up to 11 with her. she got a tattoo that may or may not have been legally obtained (the warning symbol on her right shoulder). her and delilah have been banned from their local cvs pharmacy. 

now for backstory, and hoo boy.

alright so choran was born to two rich parents who were very strict about her life. textbook helicopter parenthood and then some, really. they didn’t let her make friends, enrolled her in a private school (the kind with uniforms and shit, not the kind too poor for a janitor like my private school). they often told her exactly how to behave, with their own words contradicting themselves! (aka one time theyll tell her to speak up and another time theyll tell her to be quiet). she felt like her parents could never make up their minds about what they wanted her to be.  Eventually in 5th grade they let her go to a public school, but still forced her to wear skirts and proper clothes and not really express herself. By the end of 6th grade her parents sent her to live with her aunt on the other side of town, despite having always called her a “bad influence”. turns out that bad influence was actually being a decent human being to choran, letting her actually have friends over, go to parks, choose her own clothes, etc. in middle school she met delilah and quinn, and eventually through delilah she met the german twins.  her original name wasnt actually choran by the way! her full legal name is Lalia Ouroban, but since she moved and got her own life away from her parents she decided to go by Choran. the only member of the party to know her real name is Delilah. and then in 8th grade choran and delilah started dating and then the lochainin events happened!

[prehistoricmancunt]

Yo can we get an inventory of all your tattoos? I can't believe you have 22 I feel like I can only call to mind, like, 14 of 'em

yeah sure! if i inserted pics we’d be here forever, but in this pic you can see a lot of them: 

my 1st one was the roses on the left inner arm, 2nd was the text in the inner right arm, my 3rd and 4th are on my outer wrists and are little branches (pics here), 5th and 6th i dont really have pics of but one is a tiny match under the bee and another is (lol) a tiny rickety deathly hallows on my ankle i did when i was bored. 7th and 8th i got at the same time and they’re the ones just lower (1-800-i-feel-ok and coffee beans), 9th the bee, 10th, DEFY on my hip did it myself (pic here), 11th, a small ‘F’ on my left index finger above my nail that i did myself, 12th, grass on my left calf did it myself (pic here), 13th was the branch on my right calf  that i did myself (same pic as last link) and 14th was GROW i did on myself (same pic as defy link), 15th is a tattoo on the back of my left arm that my ex gave me that i never show bc it’s awful, 16th was ‘this is real’ on my left forearm i did myself (pic here) (you can kind of see the F in that one), 17 was the fish i did on my left knee (pic here), 18th was the flower lady Mars Hobrecker did (pic here), 19th, lavender on my hand i did (pic here), 20th beginning of baby’s breath flower on my left hip that i can’t find a pic of rn except for me tattooing it (so beware it’s needles and stuff but pic here), 21st the rosemary around my right knee i did (pic here) (you can see the match tat in that pic) and last but not least is my they tattoo!!!!!!

of my 22 i’ve given myself 12.5 

happy to give meaning behind any tats! (though quite a few are just bc they’re pretty)

[baepsayy]

i was tagged by @seesawsope, thanks yous!!

what’s the smell of your shampoo? uhh something citrus/lemon

what’s your aesthetic? late nights, backpacks, stacks of books & mangas,

if(!glasses)  {   printf(”is blind \n”); } else {   printf(”can see, kinda \n”); } repressed anger, black clothes, shirts 2x the actual size, shrug emoji/ fight emoji no inbetween, “ce ziseși, mă, de perfectu’ simplu?!”, loud music into headphones, 23/7 tired with snack breaks, intended bad grammar

what’s your favorite time of day and why? nights. s i l e n c e and ppl are asleep. if it’s only me at home, days are okay too

what do you most like about the beach? never been. still waiting for it. i’ll have an opinion on it then

what do you worry about constanlty? could’ve done better. won’t pass exams. will fail uni. am a waste of space, my parents would have been much better without me. ppl think im ugly and dumb

what is a song you’ve cried to before? it’s been years now since any piece of art (music, movies, literature) was able to make me actually tear up, but some songs that bring me close to are nevermind (suga) and young forever (bts)

what are some relaxation tips for your followers? im, like, the worst person to ask this tbh. but i’d say try to empty your mind for a little. forget for a moment about stress factors and think about your favorite something. play a lil with your pet, if you have one, give them a kiss on their forehead. if you can, have a “you place”. idk ur room or some place outside if u r that type of person i never take a step outside so, scroll through pics of animals or sceneries    (or, y’kno’, you could always bury urself in games, play fifa for hours, no, bad advice, dont do that)

what are some things that make you tear up? thinking about and trying to find my purpose in life, bc it’s all in vain and pitch black. how dumb and stupid and ignorant i was years back. frustration and anger. how i have absolutely no talent in any domain.

what is your favorite from each of the senses?

   smell: home, hot coffee, after rain

   touch: lil bro’s hair listen it’s SO soft, mom playing with my hair, dad massaging my head when i have migraines wow these are all family related lol,  fluffy animals or birds have you ever held a baby duck it’s BLISS 

   sound: rain, piano, ppl i care abt laughing

   sight: no errors in my code lmao, my people smiling, really good art styles, sunsets, stars

   taste: bitter-sweet coffee, mom’s cooking, sour stuff - like lemon - sweets

what is an alternative reality you’d like to live in? one in which im not the current me (as a person), i can sing & rap, am smarter and was allowed to go to karate and or other sports 

what are some troubles you face on a daily basis? anxiety, migraines, social phobia does self hate count

what is a scene from a book that makes you really sad? beside all of my faves dying? hmm the ending of the 5th book of Cireșarii where the kids basically put it bluntly that from then on they’re gonna go each their own way and my heart breaks into million pieces 

say something to your followers: i love yall and hope yall can feel as much happiness as possible and stay healthy! may your pets live forever and your biggest wish come true this year  also im sorry this got so long ahh

i’ll tag: @imakitcat @fullyautomatedgayspaceescapism @aaxe21620 @phrasesleftonpaper @fishfu @animehonor @04thelouvre only if you wanna do it, no pressure

[seriesofcostumes-blog]

Friday 5th October

Mood: fkn shit, let's hope no one walks in cause it looks like a massacre, on my face.

I think this is the biggest break I’ve had in months. I’m just a shitty person, I don't know how to help people, and am so selfish. Tonight has been the worst night this whole year. I can’t remember the last time it was this bad. 

I’m not okay. I try really hard to be. Whatever I’ve got going on inside is so silent. The turmoil, anxiety, self-doubt, everything. Eleanor, you wouldn't even notice a single bit of change on the outside. I might become quieter or more distant but then you won't notice a thing in an hour. I’ll become my usual, quirky and random self. You would think “oh maybe she’s over whatever it was.” But I’m honestly so stressed that I can’t even manage simple tasks. My family and relatives probably know me as the laziest person when in reality I’m just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by every fucking thing. I can’t do anything right.

The thing is I don't even know what my problem is. I’m fucking disgusting and incapable of anything. I’ll never be anyone's number one or first priority. I’ve been exposed of bias my whole life from friends and family so I don’t expect it from others. But sometimes it felt nice to fantasize. However, fantasies aren’t real. And that's the truth lol

I’m so unattractive. I know that people have at least one thing that they love about themselves but I don’t think I do. Whenever someone would ask me what I like about myself I would say something different to anyone. I don’t really have a real answer or decline the question in hopes of not looking or sounding like an attention seeking bitch. I am disgusting. I don't like my body. One half of my face droops so its basically another level of asymmetrical. my double jointed fingers are gross, my teeth and mouth are disgusting. My hair is so thin. My forehead has its own forehead. My voice sounds like I’m about to cry and swallowed a toad. I have stretch marks practically everywhere- you name a spot and you got it lol. I’m so hairy, soo hairy. My back is another level of disgusting because of acne, scars, and spots. My love handles are pretty much love bags at this point. My inner thighs are basically charcoal from the friction. My belly has so many folds. I don’t remember the last time I took a proper selfie cause I feel weird smiling. My pics are basically catfish. I don’t like the moles and beauty marks on my face, I don’t like the birthmark I have on my toe- I will never take my socks off. My palms are 24/7 sweaty. I hate my nipples and my saggy tits. I hate my arms and its shape. I have so many chins. I’m disgusting.

You know they say that whichever body part you notice the most on another one, that's the body part you notice most on yourself or are the most insecure about. I think I notice everything. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve been like this my whole life lol. I think I used to like my lips, but then I realized that I should keep them shut considering what they’re hiding and also my voice, bleh. I like my eyebrows I think, on days the ladies don’t fuck it up.

The only thing I’m good at is eating. I’ve been told this my entire life lol and its true. I’m good at eating and wasting money. I have no social life. I feel like I make the first move most of the times, I feel like no one will talk to me if I dont send them threads of annoying messages but oh well. Omg, I have no life. Despite having no social life, you would expect me to be good at uni but no. I don’t study. I’m exhausted all the time from doing nothing. I feel dead whilst living. I only have two friends, one of I don’t even get to see as often anymore. I don't even know if I’ll make it to getting a degree. I’m just a disappointment. I most of the time am convinced that no one will ever truly like me. I’m quite pathetic if you haven't noticed. Writing this has been so much easier than writing any ordinary post or assignment- which I should be doing, considering I have one due in two days. My social anxiety is bleh so I can’t even do interviews, but I try to convince myself that maybe I’ll grow out of it cause I’m in this phase of my life. I feel like everyone I know in my life is moving forward and doing things while I'm just here. Sitting. Unmotivated to do uni, incapable of being loved, unworthy of the things my family gets for me cause I can’t get them anything in return. I could tell how disappointed they were when I told them that I dropped Law. imagine how disappointed they'll be when they find out that I can’t do anything else. I’m not good enough for anyone lol and that’s okay cause I know that. I’m just a fat fuck who doesn’t know how to do anything. Because of this, I feel so lonely despite being surrounded by so many people.

I have no hobbies, I don't even write anymore- I’m not even good at it so there's no hope with that. I don’t know how to drive even though I want to learn how to, I’ve called the lady but shes always fully booked whenever I’m free.

I’m just really overwhelmingly fucking sad about how I don’t deserve anything or anyone and how I’m incapable of anything and anyone. I just wanna do nothing but the thought of doing nothing numbs my mind. I don’t want to tell this to anyone cause they’ll worry and I’m not worth being worried about. I don’t want to be a burden. I’m just so fucking sad.