#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was

[wonder-worker]

Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.

[purplesurveys]

594

How are you today? I’m doing okay. My classmates in my least favorite class, Newspaper Layout and Design, have been a big pain in my ass and I’ve been carrying the entire class on my back because no one has the initiative to start giving a fuck about the requirements (I’d want to not give a fuck either, but someone has to and I’m probably the most grade-conscious person in that class) – but it’s a Friday and I’m having amazing coffee right now so it balances out. Do you have mean comments that replay in your head and haunt you? Not really. Some days I’ll remember the one hate comment I got on my ask.fm which led me to delete my account altogether, but it doesn’t bother me because I kinda proved that person wrong eventually.

For context, they told me I should stop wishing to be in UP so bad and to actually pass the entrance exam first before I’m allowed to talk about how much the university means to me. Joke’s on them – I passed the UPCAT not long after. Doesn’t mean I’d forgot the demotivating message, though.

^If so, do you know why that is? I always want to please people and thrive on compliments, so I’m bound to remember every single bad thing anyone tells me. What are you currently worried about, if anything? I’m worried about my deadlines for my Layout class. The requirements are a group effort, and so long as my classmates don’t start moving, I can’t really pass my parts anyway because I have to wait on them. UGH Did you go Black Friday shopping this past Black Friday? Pls stop asking me first-world references

^If so, what was the best deal you got? Have you ever been Black Friday shopping? What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? Do you wear a watch every day? No. Wearing them always makes me feel like there is something on my wrist, and that bugs me haha.

Pineapple or pepperoni? I don’t like either. All-cheese pizzas are my favorite. What food makes you feel nauseous? Not to say that it makes me feel like vomiting or dizzy, but I was never really a big fan of blue cheese. I can handle it on my pizza and sometimes its flavor jibes well with the other cheeses, but the taste always sticks out so I’m not particularly obsessed with it. Have you ever seen a spirit? No. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want it traditional, so I’m going with green. It’s gonna have all sorts of decor like baubles, snowflakes, tinsel, leaves, etc. My family has always made an effort to make our trees look super nice and detailed and I wanna pass that on when I have my own place and maybe even kids down the road. Name 3 youtube channels you've been loving lately. HiHo Kids, Mankalor, and Moon Jeongwon’s vlogging channel. Do you have a youtube channel? I do but it’s only so that YouTube can tailor my homepage to what I’m into at the moment, and so that I can like/dislike videos haha. I don’t post my own content. ^If so, does your family approve? ...I don’t think they should have an opinion about me owning a YouTube account. But in any case, they don’t really mind. What do you think about the new "for kids" or "not for kids" rules? Like, parental control? I guess it’s a good thing. Kids have always had very makulit hands and end up seeing stuff they’re not supposed to. Makulit is a Filipino word that defies translation, but I guess the closest thing to it is either mischievous or restless.

Case in point: Back when I was in high school, I was working at one of the library computers when these Grade 1 kids sat at the computer beside me. They were searching images of the movie Frozen and it was all normal for a bit, but they scrolled too far down and eventually they landed at this very questionable manip of Elsa and Anna doing some stuff that kids that age definitely shouldn’t be seeing. ^ Do they affect you? No. I’m neither a kid nor a parent. What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten? [slight trigger warning for the vegans!!! Sorry, Filipino cuisine can sometimes be a lot to take for non-Filipinos]  I’m super adventurous when it comes to food so I haven’t found anything I’ve tried disgusting. I don’t particularly like the flavor of bopis (pork/beef lungs and heart) and pinapaitan (goat and ox innards meat flavored with bile, tamarind and chillies), but I don’t find them disgusting, and I’d still eat them if that was served at a family party.

What food is so disgusting you could absolutely never eat it? Dog/cat meat. Do you like sushi? Love sushi. What color was the last sweater you wore? Gray. Name 3 material items on your wish list right now. Nintendo Switch, a new pair of shoes (wow I really am a grown-up), and cash. Are you planning on doing Vlogmas (for youtube) this year? No. Zoella’s the only person I know who still does lmao Have you ever done Vlogmas before? No. Have you ever made money off of youtube? Omg no Are you happy that the year is coming to an end? SO HAPPY. 2019 felt like it was three fucking years long. Have you ever bought a designer purse? I haven’t bought any with my own money. Do people tell you that you look sick when you wear a certain color? No? ^If yes, what color? Do you consider yourself creative? Not at all. ....outgoing? Kinda. It depends on the situation. If I’m meant to be doing something I like or hang out with people I know, I can be very outgoing; but if it’s an unfamiliar situation, I tend to be more shy and let other people lead the way. ....free-spirited? I don’t think I’d call myself that. ....shy? Yep, at first. ....socially awkward? It’s a hit or miss. Sometimes I’m great with socializing; other times I just miss the mark. Do you often feel alone? Mostly during the Christmas season. Otherwise it’s an on-off thing for me, but the loneliness is for the most part turned off. What could be the theme song to your life? I never know what to answer in questions like this. My life has had a lot of phases and it’s hard to sum it all up into a single song. List three new songs you've discovered this year that you like a lot. I Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House, the Summer section of Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons (thanks, Portrait of a Lady on Fire), and Joji’s Dancing in the Dark. If you could win a shopping spree in any store, what would it be? Fully Booked. Do you wear jewelry often? Very seldom. List 10 of your favorite girl names. I list them on surveys all the tiiiiiimeeeeeeeee. Uhh Olivia, Mia, Arden, Harper, Juliana/Julia, Isabella, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Lily, Emilia. I’m feeling the name Eloise tonight too, so let’s throw that one in as a runner-up. List 10 of your favorite boy names. Miguel, Joaquin, Javier, Jacob, Mason, Noah, Liam, Seth, Leon, Luis. Andres is also good, so I’m putting that in even though it’s name 11. List 10 girl names (or up to 10) that you don't really care for. That’s so many and possibly offensive :((((( I’ll just go with boomer names like Sally, Linda, Agnes (sorry to my Lola, who’s named Agnes), Karen, Pamela, Susan, Brenda...and maybe more common ones like Angela, Marie, Sam. List up to 10 boy names that you don't really care for. Not a big fan of boy names in general, but ones I don’t particularly like nor dislike are names like John, George, William (lmao just naming all the royals now I see LOL), Benedict, Jeffrey, Donald, Michael, Daniel, Drew, Mark. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real? Five. I didn’t find out; I just put the clues together. Do you own a Polaroid camera? Nope. I want one though. ^If so, what color is it? List one past regret. The one dumb thing I did in one of my classes where I forgot to submit something on time, and I had to make do with a late submission, which would already have deductions. Do you own Converse, and if so, what color? i used to; they were red. I stopped wearing them after a bit though so my mom threw them out. We have white Chucks now – my sister brings them with her in her dorm but when she’s home, I’d borrow it sometimes. What color was your senior prom dress? Let’s plz avoid talking about the stuff we purposely want to forget Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Nobody, other than the colorblind folk on Twitter/Tiktok who make wholesome videos separating different colors of Skittles or M&Ms heh. What's one pet peeve of yours? People who DRIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO LANES YO WHAT’S UP WITH Y’ALL Would you ever consider a career in writing? Sure, I’m kinda headed that way anyway. What was the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? Astronaut. What was your first favorite color? Purple. What is your favorite color now? Pink or black. Do you know a lot of people with the same middle name as you? Yeah, Isabelle is very common. But where I live it’s usually spelled Isabel or Ysabel. Do you like the name Brynn? Not really. It sounds very 2010ish, wherein people would give their kids double-N’s like Kaitlynn, Rylinn, Brooklynn, Ashlynn and I was never a big fan of that trend (except for Finn, Flynn, and Quinn, which I find cute). List five names you hate the spelling of. Literally those 4 names I just mentioned. Oh and in the Philippines, there’s this trend of putting H’s on otherwise normal names, e.g. Jhulia, Mhae, Ghabriella, Mhark...it’s common in the lower classes so I don’t judge, but like it’s just not really not my taste lmao. Do you watch Niki and Gabi on youtube? No. Do you watch Brooklyn and Bailey? No. ....Bethany Mota? No. But I did see her once when YouTube held a FanFest here in Manila and she was part of the lineup. ......Gillian Bower? ....LaurDIY? .....Family Fizz? ....Chronically Jaquie? No to literally all of those. Have you ever purchased a youtuber's merch? No they are always way too expensive lol ^If so, what did you buy?

[mysticmikalla]

hello !! i was wondering if i could request something? how would the rfa + minor trio react to an mc whose an introvert? like shes only rlly outgoing when shes comfortable nd hates public speaking nd if shes around a crowd for too long then she needs to be by herself for some time. like she’ll just lay on the bed and stare at the wall for a little while or take a nap and rest until she feels like she can be around people again. and sometimes she’ll get rlly iffy abt romantic touching

Oooh i relate heavily to this MC!! Introverts unite!

***

Yoosung

“Zen invited us to a party this friday” your boyfriend mentioned

Ah, damn, there goes your friday night of rest and movies

The week had been so tiring and you couldn’t wait to just stay in all weekend

“Oh, really?”

“Yup” he nodded

“Are we going?”

“Yeah I guess…”

“Ok, cool.”

He puffed out air from his cheeks

“…”

“…”

“Do yo actually want to go?” He eyed you

“Uh, no..”

“Oh, thank God! I don’t want to either!” he let out a sigh of relief, “What excuse should we use this time? That I’m sick or you’re sick?”

“I was already sick last time, its your turn”

“Okay. Movie marathon, then?”

“Movie marathon.” You smiled

God bless your equally introverted boyfriend

Zen

See, you loved your boyfriend, you really did

From the moment you joined the RFA, he was all that filled your mind

But sometimes he could be a little….touchy

Don’t get me wrong, you loved it when he cupped your cheek before he kissed you, or absentmindedly drew circles on the skin of your shoulder when he had his arms around you

But it got a little too much sometimes

I mean

Did he have to have his hands on your thighs…all the time? 

Sometimes you wanted to talk with your hands or grab something but he was always holding it

It felt a little restraining sometimes

And you felt guilty about having these thoughts!!

He was the perfect boyfriend!! What were you whining about!!

You felt ungrateful, and your friends told you as much

But you couldn’t help it, it was the way you always were

And it wasn’t with just him, either

He must have eventually caught on

“You don’t really like it when I touch you like this, do you?” he asked you out of the blue one day

“Why do you say that?”

“C’mon, MC, you grow stiff when I touch you sometimes”

You felt awful. Had you hurt his feelings?

“I’m sorry, Zen…I really like it when you touch me, its just…I like some space for myself sometimes…” You attempted to explain, avoiding his gaze

You expected him to be angry, but he just?? laughed??

“I understand, MC. It’s hard to keep my hands off you, but I’ll try to keep it to a minimum”

Jaehee

You were fretting all night long

It was the first RFA party you hosted, and the members insisted you gave a speech at the end of the night

You know, to thank everyone for coming and whatnot

There were so many people, all kinds of people

It terrified you

You practiced your speech all night, but still felt like you would choke up on your words

It was worse when Yoosung went on and on about how Rika gave the most amazing speeches ever and was super charismatic, and you couldn’t help but feeling like you had to live up to her 

Jaehee was the first to notice how quiet and anxious you seemed

When it was time, Jumin took the stage and gave an opening speech

You envied his confidence, and dearly wished you had a silver tongue like his

“And now, I’d like to introduce the person who made this party possible-”

Before you could make your way up the stage, a certain other someone had taken your place

Jumin was confused lol

“Assistant Kang, what you are you-”

You watched in awe at how Jaehee improvised an entire speech, acting as natural as if she were talking to a close friend

What kind of dark magic is this,,,

She would smile reassuringly in your direction

“I could tell this was troubling you,” She simply stated once you asked why she went up there instead of you, “I couldn’t let you go up there if you didn’t feel good about it.”

Rika who?? Jaehee is the true savior tbh

Jumin

He was…rather shocked when he first met you in person

You were always so bubbly in the chatroom, hyping up Zen’s selfies and going along with Seven’s jokes

But when you all got together for the first time, you were… shy?

Not shy, he noted, just reserved

And honestly, he really  liked it

He especially liked it when you two got closer, and the only one who got to see your outgoing, passionate, intense side was him

It made him feel special

He’d do most of the talking whenever you two went out to eat on company dinners

Being the charismatic man he is, it was no problem for him to carry most of the conversation

The only thing he was confused about was your need to be alone at times

You told him that it you were similar to Elizabeth the 3rd

She loved receiving attention from him and being pet, but she also needed time alone to do…you know, what cats do

He understood it after that

“Does that mean I can keep you in a cage sometimes?”

Jumin nO

Seven

You couldn’t wait. You could not wait to get home after the party

Take off those uncomfortable heels, slip into your PJs, watch your favorite show and just relax

You were daydreaming about it at the party

The RFA parties were always really fun, but draining

Greeting and making small talk with all the guests absolutely exhausted you

You were nearly bouncing up and down with excitement when the last guest left, ready to go home

“MC!” Seven beamed, “Are you ready?”

“?? For??

“The RFA after-party, of course! We’re are all going to Jumin’s for a drink right now.”

Your heart sunk

You loved hanging out with them, you did

But you were just…so tired, and needed some You time

Unable to say no, you ended up going along

While at Jumin’s, you remained quieter than the rest, mainly sitting on the couch and playing with your phone

Yoosung and Zen were already drunk and loud, and you really just longed for the quiet of your home

You felt your boyfriend grab your hand

“Come on, I’m driving you home.”

“But we just got here-”

“MC, I know you. I can tell you’re not fully into this right now. It’s okay. Let’s go home, yeah?”

Bless him

V

He’s an artist

So out of everyone, he’s the one who understands your need to take some time to be alone and think the best

For you two, a lot of quality time together was spent with your backs to each other, you with headphones on and him drawing or painting

While he didn’t have a big problem with crowds and socializing quickly with new people, but he started to avoid them because he knew it made you uncomfortable

What a cutie

And honestly, he also preferred to hang out with just you or a smaller group of friends than a lot of people

Not the biggest party animal anyway, so your weekend plans were quiet and easygoing

Napping together is also a part of your routines

Not necessarily cuddling and touching, just…

Knowing that the other is there is enough 

Saeran

He would sulk at first when you dint text him back right away

Or when you kept your phone calls short, and rarely called him first

Or when you said you’d rather stay home that night instead of going out with him sometimes

Being the insecure lil bean he is, he’d think he had done something wrong, or that you didn’t love him enough

And thinking he did something wrong, he wouldn’t contact you for days

And because you were recharging, you wouldn’t contact him either

Someone help these two!!

It wasn’t until you showed up at his house a few days later, acting casual that he would get it

“Wait…you’re not mad at me?”

“?? No?? Why would you think that?”

“You weren’t really speaking to me so I thought…”

You apologized, and explained the whole introvert/extrovert thing, and how sometimes you needed some time to yourself

He later took a quiz on Buzzfeed and found out he’s an ambivert

nerd

[switchblades-and-cherries]

The Town That Time Forgot-Chapter 1

Ok so this is an Modern!Outsiders story that I have been thinking about writing for a while now. And because I want to make my life even harder lol. I think I’m also going to be tossing in the 100 writing prompt challenge by Sunshockk on Deviantart into the mix. Now whether or not I can actually write 100 chapters of this is a different story, but I figured it would be cool to see what chapters I could make with just 1 word as inspiration.

I actually chose not only the word but also who Ellie meets first with a random picker, so the fact that this has Sodapop in it doesn’t necessarily mean she will end up with him...We will see how the story progresses to see who she chooses ;) . Also if you would like to see what Ellie looks like, I drew a picture of her here .

All of the lovely boys are in this story as well, so do not fret. And because Ellie is 25, I have upped their ages a bit.

Ponyboy 19 Johnny 21 Sodapop 21 going on 22 Dallas 22 Steve 22 Two-Bit 23 Darry 25

This all being said, Let’s get to the story!!!

 Word Count: 1,824

Warnings: Cussing, Socs harassing Ellie

Word Inspiration: Bubble

"The town that time forgot"

That was where I was headed, the real name for it was Rocksville funny enough. It was a once abandoned town out in Oklahoma, but since has grown to a population close to seven thousand. Though the revival of the once ghost town was not what made it remarkable, or gave it it's name-No, it was due to the fact that the whole town was still modeled as if it had never moved past 1965. The buildings were built in that style, the food was still grown locally so that it could be sold for less. Heck, even the people never moved past the era, everyone still dressed in the fashion, drove the cars, even the houses were decorated with fifties through sixties decor. It was a Rockabilly dream, and my soon to be home.

When I had found the Rockabilly community I fell in love, having always been drawn to the era, I always wished that I could have been born then, instead of the nineties. When I changed my entire lifestyle, my mother suggested that I go live with my grandmother for a bit, and if I liked it, get a house of my own in the community. Grandma had always been part of my life since I was little, and had told me stories about her younger days, mom said that she influenced me, but grandma just says that sometimes the soul doesn't move past the times they loved the most.

So here I was, driving down the highway in my nineteen fifty-seven Chevy Bel Air, getting strange looks from people my own age, but thumbs up from my elders. Excited didn't even begin to explain how I was feeling, it was like a sense of longing was finally being fulfilled, like where I was supposed to be was finally within reach-And as I pulled off to the side road that led to the town I realized, it really was. I knew that the community was very closed off, but I didn't realize how much until I pulled up to the gate, it was like this whole town was in its own little bubble.

"Hello there sweety, what can I do for you?" The elderly man asked, walking out of his small room and up to my car.

"I'm here to see my grandmother, Donna Smith" I replied, smiling at the gentleman.

"Well I'll be, are you little Ellie? Donna talks about you a lot, glad to have ya finally stop by, My name is William" He smiled back.

"Very nice to meet you William" I replied before he nodded.

"Right then" he spoke before turning around and making his way to the gate. He grabbed the keys from his belt and unlocked the giant padlock, before pushing the gates open.

"Wow this place really is old fashioned" I stated to myself, watching as he waved me over.

"Enjoy your stay dear, and welcome to Rocksville" He told me before I kept driving, seeing him close the gates behind me and return to his room. The town was a bit empty on the way in, nothing but a few farmlands, but as soon as you hit downtown, you knew it. I felt like I was about to cry as I drove through the streets, people crossing, old cars lining the sides. Old soda shops, diners, and movie theaters, along with so many mom and pop shops. It was only after the second red light that I realized-I had no idea where grandma's street was in this town.

"I guess I should ask someone if they can give me directions" I stated, pulling off into a parking space on the side of the street. Cutting my car off, I gathered my purse and stepped out onto the street, quickly making my way to the sidewalk, making sure to give a thank you wave to the people who had stopped to let me get out and around my car. People were a heck of a lot nicer here than in the cities I've been to, that's for sure. I looked around for the best place to ask, there was a small clothing store in front of me, a small food store beside that. The mechanic at the end corner looked promising, if anyone knows almost everyone in town, it's a mechanic.

Mulling over my options, I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of whistles and cat calls.

"Hey there pretty lady, haven't seen you here before"

"We would have remembered this one boys"

"Want us to show ya around? You'll have a good time"

Looking behind me I saw a group of what I could only describe as Socs making their way towards me. Looking forward again I rolled my eyes.

"No I'm fine thank you" I stated, trying to be polite, even if they didn't deserve it.

"Awe come on baby, it will be fun" what I could only guess was the leader, said as he grabbed my arm and spun me around. Ok, I take back what I said about people being a heck of a lot nicer here.

"I said no!" I told him, taking my arm from his grasp.

"Well looky here boys, the kitten has claws"

"They're more fun when they fight back"

"Makes winning them even better"

"Listen, I'm giving you five seconds to leave me alone," I told him, I may not look it, but if growing up with four older brothers taught me anything, it was how to protect myself.

"Or what?" The leader asked with a smirk.

"Or your ass is going to be on the ground"

"what did you say bitch?" he snarled

"One"

"You think you're tough shit huh new girl?"

"two"

"Ok I've had enough of your shit"

"Hey! Why don't you three piss off and leave the lady alone" A voice spoke up from behind us. I turned to see a guy who one could successfully describe just by saying "movie-star handsome". Short brown hair, bright blue eyes, and a jaw-line that should probably be illegal. He wore a blue mechanic outfit, with the top tied around his waist, showing off his white undershirt.

'Dang grandma these are where the good-looking guys have been hiding?!'

"Stay out of this Curtis, this doesn't involve you" The leader of the Soc gang spoke.

'Curtis? First or last name?' I wondered.

"Maybe not, but I'm not gonna stand by while three creeps harass her" He spoke, stepping in front of me.

'oh ok then, didn't know I looked that dainty but I appreciate the action'

"what did you say?" The leader asked, getting in the guy's face.

"Do you really want to do this again? Remember what happened last time" The man coolly spoke. The Socs just scoffed, the two in the back muttering their displeasure.

"You can keep the little broad, but this isn't over Curtis" The leader said before he and his goons left. The man sighed before turning around to face me. Seeing him up this close I could get a better look at him. He seemed older, not as old as me, but perhaps in his early twenties. Though his face said that he hadn't had the easiest life, there was a maturity to him that was beyond his age.

"You ok?" He asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Oh yeah, thank you, I really appreciate it" I smiled.

"No problem, though I would have liked to see you put him on his ass" he smirked, causing me to laugh.

"I would have too if you hadn't stepped in. But thanks to you, I didn't have to get my dress dirty" I smirked, this time it was his turn to laugh.

"You're new here, never seen you around" He stated.

"Do new people really not come here all that often?" I asked, this was the third person who said I was new.

"Well no-But the pink in your hair kinda makes you stand out" he smiled, motioning towards my pink streak.

"Oh...Yeah, I suppose it would" I chuckled.

"Were you needing help with anything?" he asked.

'Ok I stand by my first thought, people are a heck of a lot nicer here'

"Oh yeah, actually I do need some help. I'm here to stay with my grandmother for a bit, and I'm not exactly sure how to get to maple street" I told him.

"Oh that's simple, just head down this road and turn right on the last crossroad, onto Bel Lane. Keep going on that road till you come to a curve and it's the first road on your left right after the curve." He told me, gesturing the different directions.

"Keep going, make a right on Bel Lane, keep going, first right past the curve" I repeated.

"Got it" he smiled.

"Thank you so much, and for helping me out with those guys. I'm Elizabeth by the way, but everyone calls me Ellie" I smiled, holding out my hand.

"Sodapop, nice to meet you Ellie, hope to see you around" he smiled back.

"You too" I nodded, turning to head back to my car.

"Enjoy Rocksville" he called out.

"I already am" I laughed. I climbed in my car and looked over, Sodapop must have already gone back to the mechanic shop.

'Well this town keeps getting more and more interesting' I smiled to myself, pulling out onto the road and heading to grandma's house. With Soda's directions it didn't take me long to find the road, and soon I was pulling up into grandma's driveway. Being greeting by her small Yorkie, Pattie, as soon as I climbed out of the car.

"Hey girl, long time no see" I smiled, squatting down and picking the excited dog up.

"Is that my granddaughter I see!" I heard my grandmother's voice call from the front porch.

"Tis I!" I called back, rounding the cars and smiling. Grandma hugged me as soon as I stepped onto the porch, being careful of Pattie.

"Did you have trouble finding the place?" she asked as we walked inside.

"A bit, but a mechanic in town helped me after he helped me with a Soc problem," I stated, putting Pattie down.

"Oh dear, I hope they didn't both you too much, you have to be careful with some guys in town, they need a good smack upside the head" she stated, sitting down in her chair.

"Yeah" I laughed

"But Sodapop Curtis helped me out," I told her.

"Oh, he is such a nice young man isn't he...Single too" she stated with a smile, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Grandma! I just got here!" I blushed.

"I'm just saying" she shrugged, leaning down to pick Pattie up, and sitting her on her lap.

"I have a feeling living here is going to be very interesting" I laughed.

"You have no idea sweety" she patted my hand with a wink.

I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it. I’m going to have the next chapter out as soon as I can ^_^

[5moremins]

Comms Course

Thu 2/6/2020 at 7:44pm... feeling still kinda sick, eyes closing on me. 

so i just took an $800 communication course on ‘how to communicate with slides’ by Own The Room led by instructor named Stewart (and oh many did he look like a Stewart!) ... yeah my job paid for it. 

in the beginning they asked me, why are you here? why do i want to improve my communication? is it really because you want to communicate better at your next presentation at work? what’s that why behind the why? i said something around not wanting to let my comm weakness come back to prime my own self-worth and capability, which it started doing, at work. (finding myself potentially getting myself in a rut) and wanted to be validated.. on my areas of both strengths and weaknesses. but maybe it’s more about me wanting to be taken more seriously (also a lot more to unpack there but lets not get there rn)...? but really simply bc i want to be more badass... and i know i can. (damn wouldnt it be cool if i had the eloquence and swagger of BO?) lol kinda funny bc back in 2011 at the bcg interview, they asked me what my strength was, i said ‘communication’ and ended up rambling away...

it was interesting. i’m glad i did it. it’s so hard to stop myself go into the defense mode of judging them (the class, the instructor) so that i can protect myself from their ‘judgment’ (in quotes because it’s not really the judgment that i think it is). i size them up and determine that i’m better than them so that i can tell myself later that what they are saying isn’t so material. WHAT KINDA COWARD AM I?!?! but it’s good, it’s good to recognize these instances (which have been happening alot). these are all the places i can grow more in. channel this negative energy into something positive... i.e. instead of spending energy on judging them, spend it on nurturing myself. self love. wowww i’m so... self-helping these days lol. u know what, it’s good for me.

another interesting thing was that i found myself comparing myself these other people and being relieved that these people are also human, some better and some worse than how i was.. realizing that these “other people” are just human, not so super-human and not so super-better than I ever will be... ok lets unpack this. this is stemming from the immigrant days of always feeling like i’m 2 steps behind, will always be, no matter how hard i try. looking at every average joe american kid as someone who’s just more gifted, better, than i am, because i had this “gap” of 10 years (# of years spent outside of US before coming here).. it’s true, in the beginning, when i first moved here, every kid in class seemed so much more capable than me because i couldn’t speak the language... but it’s been 20 years, and sure, i didn’t spend first 10 years of my life abroad, but that’s not a gap that sets me back... it was a privilege that i got to experience that not many could. that fact that i ramble isn’t really due to me being an immigrant, but prolly because that’s how i innately am inclined to be. c’mon! stop putting these other people on unjustifiably high pedestals. 

kinda related to another realization.. most of the lesson today was about being ‘different’, being ‘exceptional’. but this is so contrary to how i’ve grown up! in the last 20 years! because i thought all these american kids/people were so much better than me, they became the ‘goal’ ie the state that i’m striving to reach... so by definition, i’ve put in a lot of effort to fit in, to be in that box these americans drew for me. success also was defined by these people. yes, be excellent, but only in a way that’s been done before. being actually exceptional (i.e. be an exception to the usual) is not what i ever trained myself to be. so being told, hey, now you gotta be different, i kept on seeing myself ask ‘can i do this?’ ‘how much of my personality should/can i show?’ ‘what’s acceptable?’ ‘is this okay?’ because if you stay within the box, you don’t really have to ask these questions. but once i get out, there’s a whole lot more i’m unsure about. someone draw me a new box! 

but i don’t need a box. that box represents comfort and a weird mental limitation i’m only applying to myself. BE FREE. BE FREE AMY. be me. embrace what makes me, me. stop putting a box on myself when i want to actually be free. stop muting my authentic self to stay within the box. (...which i do do this alot at this job. feeling the need to be more corporate-y, mute my energy (it’s unprofessional!) and personality...) i don’t want to end up as a muted gray at the end of my life, when my core is a vibrant orange. (or green? yellow?)

u know what tho, i didn’t cringe as much watching myself in the video. progress in self love! good job. also i made a pitch of my empire (”AEMP”) and people liked the idea, asked me after if it’s an existing startup... so thats good i guess.

key takeaways from the session: 

strength: i’m magnetic. people like me. i engage people. i bring good energy that is contagious. charisma. good to confirm.

weakness: weak language (uh, uhms, you know, etc) reduces my executive presence... ‘aw amy is cute’, but that’s not where i want to be (or do i?)... also good to confirm. also, posture. also, stop bobbing my head so much.

tactical todos!:

drinking penalty starting tomorrow

“think, edit, speak” every time

pilates? for core and posture.

write out the narrative for every presentation (who what when/where why how)

“get over yourself”... presentation is about the audience, not me

after coming home i watched a lot of example videos of good orators.. obama, ronald reagan, margaret thatcher, MLK jr, JFK. also watched elon musk (lol if he can i can), steve jobs, bill gates, jeff bezos, indra nooyi, michelle obama, elizabeth holmes, jack ma, etc... none of these are perfect human beings or perfect communicators. i don’t really care to talk like a politician, but i do want to be able to influence and inspire with my words with my own personality. 

unfortunately people judge you based on your looks, but u can build your charisma: frame, substance, and delivery.

my unfounded confidence tells me that if any of these people can do it, i can. just gotta be humble enough to acknowledge that shit i should work on this and actually put in the effort.

starting with... drinking salt water(? or diluted coke?) every time i say uhs or uhms or youknows or let me start by sayings or any other filler words.

[mhhrr19]

Authors note!!! I'm only on day two of this game so if 707 seems off or anything else then my bad lol reading other lemons (yesh this is a lemon) i got a feeling for who he is. But for the sake of my story let's pretend people want to hurt Rika and your nervous about joining RFA. (Lol didnt get to this part so I guess there's a part two!!lol) Warnings: sexy 707, smut, sex, other kinky stuff idk You understood the worries of the other members of RFA but you felt like you were being watched yet like this was different. Everywhere you went, you felt evil watching you, the kind of malice only a demon would have. You haven't slept in two days and barely eaten. After 7 said there were confidential files all over the apartment, you barely entered it. You slept on the floor right in front of the door and always went out to eat. You lost your job and only had little money for food. Something about the RFA made you want to stay but the conditions you set for yourself made you sleep deprived and always hungry. To keep your mind off of your fears you opened the app hoping 7 was online. Something about him made you forget your worries. Maybe it was his joking behavior on life, the Golden eyes that drew you in, or perhaps it was the fact that he knew many secrets and you didn't have to worry about slipping something up. You sighed seeing as how no one was online. You should of known it was 3am after all. A small tear slipped from your eyes as you prepared for bed. The draft of door passed through your clothes and the makeshift pillow was hard. You shivered and whispered his name, wishing he was here. The light of your phone broke the darkness indicating a text. You jumped straight up and ran to the light. A text from 7 asking why you were awake this late. You smiled and replied it's not nice to hack a person's phone. A few minutes passed before he replied. You face froze a little at the words. "Hey i know you lost your job because you chose to stay at the apartment instead of going home. I thank you for that. According to your bank records you've been eating out alot and you don't have much money left. Why aren't you useing the kitchen? I know there's plenty of food. I stock it myself. Perhaps are you bad at cooking?? Lollll I couldn't imagine that XP also seeing how active your phone is im taking it you aren't getting enough sleep!! You need to take better care of yourself or else we can't kidnap Elizabeth the 3rd!!!" Even though 7 just hacked every inch of your privacy, you were glad he did. You didn't have to bring it up first, you didn't have to sound so helpless. You smiled as you typed. " 7 it's not good to make a habit of hacking my whole life! But since we are on this subject can I ask a favor of you? All of these files make me nervous and can you come over and take the ones I can't see? I want to be the new Rika, maybe even better if I can but I want RFA to trust me first. Your the only one who's know the contents of these files and the location but I know it's late and you don't have to if your sleepy." Your hands shook as you hit the send button. You waited ten minutes in fear that you asked to much of him. His response finaly came. It was short but it was what you wanted hear. A simple "yes lol". 20 minutes passed and you tried to make yourself look a little better. The black circles under your eyes covered in make up, wrinkled jeans and Hoodie with a coffee spill on it gave away the fact that you never went home for clothes. The doorbell rang and jolted you out of your thoughts. You swiftly opened the door to see a smiling 7. "Ooo kitten you haven't been taking care of yourself!" 7 purred as he walked in. You blushed as you looked down at the floor. He was taller in person and his eyes seemed to glow with something you couldn't tell what it was. "Thank you 7 for coming so late. You could of waited till daytime if this bothered you too much". You sheeply replied as he brushed away the papers on the couch. He spotted the makeshift pillow in the corner of the room as he looked around. He noticed nothing was out of place. Nothing. He sighed as he grabbed your waste and pulled you into his lap. His lips brushed your ear as he whispered "This is your home now. Don't be worried to use it." The blush you had on your face quickly disappeared as a single tear ran down your cheek. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you burried your face in the nook of his neck. His headphones pressed against your temple as you started speak. "I want to do so much with RFA. I want to help people and change the world but when I look at this place it reminds me that I'm replacing a person who was loved by everyone. I'm scared ill mess up. I'm scared that if I make this place my home, then you and the other will hate me. Her papers are everywhere. Her hand writing is on sticky notes. You cared for her so much that you kept this place stocked with food." Your sobbing interrupted you, just as you drew in a deep breath filled with the sweet sent of 7, he chuckled. He pulled your hips closer as his long fingers found your chin. With a light tug he pulled you to face him. "First off kitten we would never hate you for doing what we asked you to do. You gave up your old life for us. You aren't replacing Rika and you shouldnt compare yourself to her. You are what we need right now. I've seen every paper you wrote for school, every work project, you are smart, you are what we need right now. This place isn't a temple for Rika. The only reason I kept this place stocked with food is cause I felt that someone would come along and help us. And I was right. You came so now you have to make this place yours." You smiled through the tears and nodded at his words. "The first thing we need to do is make this place yours" He purred as he pulled your hoodie over your head and tossed it on the stack of papers in the corner of the floor. You blushed as how you were only wearing a see through tank top and black bra peaking through. As you tried to cover yourself, 7 picked you up and sat you ontop of the kitchen table. His lips crashed into yours as he positioned himself between your legs. With every passing second his kisses grew deeper and hungrier for yours. He bit your lips as he pulled back A little for air but unluckily for you, you didn't get such a break as you gasped at his fingers curling under the hem of your shirt.with a quick chuckle he removed your shirt with one shift movement and threw it so it landed in the sink. He kissed you once more slipping his tongue in as he grabbed your ass. Your legs quickly found themselves around his waist. You were so lost in the kiss that you didn't notice he was about to pick you up. With one bite he lifted you up and made his way to the bathroom. He let your legs drop to the ground as he started to bite your neck. You started to whimper as he got closer to your soft spot on your neck. He grinned as he heard your breath stop. He hovered his lips above your spot as he watched your reaction. Craving more he bit down hard earning a gasp and you moaning his his name. You bit you lip as you looked into his hungry eyes. He smiled as he kissed his bite mark causing you to moan once more. His fingers were quick at work as they undid your pants. 7 skipped passed your breast and kissed a trail down your stomach. Bracing the bathroom sink every time he would bite a place on your stomach. He stopped just above the hem of your jeans and looked up at you. You saw his face watching your every move as you asked him what he was doing is hopes to figure out why he had stopped. His grin appeared once more as he stated with a slight smugness he was thinking of where throw your pants to make sure you knew this was your bathroom. A deep blush appeared across your face as his breath sent shivers to your core. He tore your pants down at the sight of your blushing face and picked you up bridal style. "I can't take this tease anymore!" He shouted as he tossed you on the bed. He flipped you over on your stomach and made you get on all fours as he crawled ontop of you. You moaned as you felt his kisses and bites on your back. He unclipped your bra and tossed it in the open closet and his hand found its way to your breast and pinched hard on your nipple Causing you to back your ass into his groin. He let out a deep growl as he rubbed his erected member against your ass. You could feel how large he was through his jeans and you got pleasure from the pressure only to have it torn away as he flipped you on your back. The sudden movement caught you in a daze. You barely saw him remove his own shirt and pants as he came crashing down on you. He engulfed your lips in a passionate kiss as his fingers wasted no time in ripping your panties off. You gasped as the cold air hit your soaking wet womanhood. 7 smiled and he said "don't worry, you won't be cold down there long". Before a blush could form on your face 7 slammed into you with full force. You scream his name as he bottom out in you. 7 let out the most erotic moan you could fathom. He lifted himself up just enough to look you in the eyes. "Kitten your too tight and we need to fix that" with that said he began rocking his hips and forcing you to feel his every inch with your walls. He quickly found your g spot and aimed for it everytime. You were so lost in the feeling that you hadn’t noticed your nails digging into his shoulders causing him to moan and thrust into you much faster and harder. His hair tickled against your neck as you felt a build up in your stomach. You whimpered as he started kiss your neck "7 im gonna cum if you keep this pace up" You barely said between moans. You'd hope he'd slow down some so you wouldn't cum so fast and enjoy him some more but he only smirked and drove deeper and harder into you. You arched your back as your walls pulsed around his member and with a wave of pleasure you had came. He pulled out of you as you caught your breath and before you could complain that you didn't make him cum, he flipped you over on your knees once more and slammed into you again. Not even missing a beat he kept his fast pace from before and leaned down hovering over your shaking body. "Kitten im going to make you cum many more times before I'm over so just relax and enjoy the pleasure." What seemed like forever, 13 different positions and too many orgasims to count, 7 had finaly thrusted one last time releasing his cum in what seemed to be your womb. He collapsed besides you and pulled you closer as he struggled for air. You lost your voice a long time ago due to you screaming his name. 7 pulled the blankets over you and said with that you should be able to get a good night sleep now. You smiled at his remark and kissed his chest once last time before a deep sleep quickly overcame your aching body.