#loki x esje 007

[rviner]

@wilddwcrds loki x esje - the castle

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Is it jealousy or bitterness? Both come easily to Loki but now, he finds it difficult to discern which emotion sours him. For a year he guided Esje through the intricacies of combat but in turn he learned a sense of purpose. An awakening of motivation and responsibility previously foreign to him. Now, he battles with an odd sense of loss as Cas demanded her to only be trusted with Roan's teachings. But, defiance is just one of the many bonds Loki shares with Esje and he finds relief from the continuation of their training. He is happy to admit that he witnesses the fire of improvement flickering within Esje's eyes. Even if her approach to combat now carries more of a strategic flow. A far cry from the crazed and chaotic violence that he grew within. "You are tired." his voice is a contrast gentle after the harsh clash of their blades. And, it's far too easy for Loki to disarm Esje with a flick of his wrist, the sword rattling to the ground in a metallic clang.

His head tilts subtly, not in challenge or smugness. Her days are stretched thin between Roan's teachings and their own sessions, so Loki's statement isn't with disappointment but with concern. Acutely aware of how defensive she is to any hinted criticism, Loki's gaze stays soft. "It is hard to fight with anger if you are tired, Esje. Maybe we should try earlier sessions before you go to him." but there comes the faint bitterness, or jealousy, punctuating the end of his words. "In time you will learn how to power through weariness but that is not today. You have done enough, love." he glides his blade away and quickly reaches for hers between them, offering it to her. "You are obviously learning well from Roan. And with the bow and arrow too? Astrid? She is good with it, you will be a well-rounded fighter before we know it."

[rviner]

@wilddwcrds loki x esje - jan 26th

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Before even a whisper of light dares to grace the skies, Esje stirs restlessly beneath layers of furs. Enough to bring Loki from his own sleep, a slight huff escaping him as his eyes lift open. His arm winds around her frame with an instinctive desire to draw her closer and anchor her back against his chest, a silent plea for her to stop disturbing the tranquility in their shared warmth. He gives delicate kisses along the curve of her shoulder, shifting to bury one into her neck. "What is it?" he murmurs to not disturb the silence that blankets the schoolhouse. With a gentle turn he meets her gaze, studying her features momentarily in the darkness. "Are you worried because I am leaving?" he assumes and his hand weaves through the soft strands of her hair in an absentminded caress. And he's sure she can see the playful grin etch over his features. "Or..." he begins with a teasing whisper. "Perhaps it's not worry that keeps you awake." Loki feigns a contemplative hum as he drops another kiss to her skin. "You're jealous." he decides and chuckles warmly. "Because you wanted to go?"

[rviner]

There's a flicker of amusement in Loki's expression, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips, as if he knows secrets hidden within Esje's very soul. He feels as if he does, and as he watches her study the blade in her hands, his eyes never leave the sweeping gaze over her features. He feels as if he could recount the contours of her expression with his eyes closed. "See. Decisions are easy to be made." he answers her once she looks back to him, his smirk still there for her to see. He knows her well now, and knows that tomorrow will bring more thoughts she has to question. He knows himself now, that he will not mind hearing them. There's that word again. Patience. He's sure it taunts him now.

"I am not lying!" Loki scoffs out, a look of offence over his features but he remains playful. "I am happy for you, I mean it!" he declares and if only he didn't have a history steeped in twist and turns of his words. She might just believe him. But he is being honest. Every time he witnesses her progress, he swells with pride. Even if it's due to Roan's teachings and not his own. The word patience returns to him again, and not taunting but mocking him. But, it's impossible to remain bitter when her laugh sounds like that, a melodic cadance that brings out Loki's quickly and suddenly. "I would be bored, but I would also have a peaceful life." he muses teasingly, guiding her so they can leave the castle. Loki continues to walk even as Esje disappears behind him, and it's natural for him to slow and dip slightly while she clambers herself to his back. It's just as natural for his hands to find a gentle grip against her legs. "Ah, so I am mule now. I see." he chuckles.

They are not even half way back to the town when he senses the shift in her breathing. When her chuckles fade into a tired string of a sound. It pulls a smile to his face, warmer and far more genuine than he has felt for some time. One that he doesn't need to practice. And, by the time they reach the schoolhouse, Esje is in a deep enough sleep to barely be stirred as he lowers her to the bed. He can see her eyes open wearily in response to the movement, but Loki presses a soft kiss to her forehead before guiding her gently under the furs. "I love you." he whispers, his hand sweeping white hair from her face. "And I promise, I am happy for you." and he doesn't think he minds if she remembers these words, or the sincerity in which he says them with.

END.

"and i answered." esje quips with a self-satisfied grin curling over her lips. it's always a challenge to decipher loki's intentions, his words veiled in layers of mischief and cunning. but beneath his jests lies a reservoir of wisdom, a trait she's learned to appreciate, even if it's not always readily apparent. "so in a way, i will one day be thankful for how difficult all of this seems to be." she muses, her gaze drifting to the weapon cradled in her hands. with a decisive nod she looks back to loki. "okay, i will focus on this first and then the bow." the path forward may seem clear now, but esje knows all too well how swiftly the tides of her mind can change. perhaps tomorrow, something else will seem a better idea instead.

"you are one of the best and worst liars i have ever met, loki." esje remarks with a laugh, her amusement bubbling forth despite the hidden bitterness lingering in loki's tone. but she isn't deterred by it. especially when laughter happens far too easily between them, esje all but cackling. "i am hilarious. you would not like me so much otherwise. you would be bored." she states in full amusement, waving the blade again in a point toward him, but it's lowered as he approaches and draws the session to a close. esje feels the weight of exhaustion settling over her and sighs softly. "fine." she concedes with playful defiance and as loki takes the sword from her, she can feel a sense of relief. the day has been long and even if she would never admit it, she can feel the heavy pull of her eyes wishing to close. "of course i can walk!" she laughs out at him, but her lips then twist with a mischievous grin. "actually, no, you are right. i am too tired to walk." she swiftly changes course, moving behind loki so she can hoist herself onto his back. "there, at least now you are useful."

[rviner]

"That was not what I said. I asked you the question." Loki wears a soft grin as he watches Esje, his gaze lingering on her mischievous smile and his ears tuning to the note of it in her laughter. He notices how her humor mingles within the seriousness of her ambition. In many ways, he wishes he held the answers she seeks, but all he can do is chuckle gently at her words. "Nobody wakes up as a warrior." he begins, his tone carrying a hint of vulnerability reserved solely for her. To the outside world, he always remains a Jansen wolf, born into a lineage of brutes that suggests every battle comes easy. "We've endured years of training, Esje. But one day, and suddenly, all of the earlier lessons become clearer and make more sense. This part is the worst. None of it seems useful, none of it seems important. It all seems boring and slow. But, then you progress and the foundations laid become second nature." his grin widens, a fleeting smirk masking the depth of his words. "You should learn the sword and axe first, I agree. They are the staple of a warrior, especially when you are given your own."

Feigning offense at her accusation, Loki scoffs lightly. "I am happy for you." his reply is sincere, though the sharp glint in his eyes betrays a different sentiment. But Esje's laughter breaks through his bitterness, drawing him away from his intense brooding and bringing a quick laugh out from him. "Please, don not tempt fate by suggesting my brothers as your tutors next." he playfully warns, pressing a finger to his lips as if disallowing the Gods from even hearing her words. And as Esje laughs, Loki can't control his own laughter in response. "You are not funnier than I am, you are simply laughing at yourself." he mentions in full amusement to the moment, gesturing to her floppy laughter and deciding that tiredness has certainly swept over her. "We should go, this is not an important trick to learn now." Loki says fairly as he stows his blade, his steps lazy as he approaches her. With a gentle touch, he takes the sword from her hand, mindful of the danger her laughter poses. "Let me take this before you laugh so much you injure somebody. Which will be me." he's still laughing to her, a tender kiss dropped to her forehead before his hand sweeps against her jaw and rests gently at the back of her neck. "Can you even walk!?" Loki teases as he guides her so they can leave. "Or do you consider yourself too funny to walk now?"

wishing to tease him, esje wears a broad grin as she raises her brows and darts her eyes to the doors. "if you wish to leave, so be it." she challenges with a subtle nod of her head but her chuckle betrays her swiftly. she even giggles to his statement with childish humor. "well, i know how to hunt and to use a bow for it. we all learn to do that as children, loki." she rolls her eyes teasingly, able to be serious at his suggestion. esje ponders it with a moment of deep thought, mind rushing with the consideration. "i think i would choose to focus on the bow and arrow. but then, i will still need to learn with a sword and axe so...it makes more sense to focus there?" she thinks aloud, shrugging with a helpless sigh. "i wish i could snap my fingers and be a warrior. it seems it was that way for everybody else." she huffs. "why does everything require so much thought, loki? it is exhausting."

her gaze narrows when she hears the familiar bitterness in loki's words. "he is a good teacher, loki. you should be happy for me." esje states with a rather proud tone, brows raising again to highlight his statement. "i would even rather be taught by thorin and vidar than not at all." she barks out a laugh then. "imagine. i'd probably learn far more because i would wish so intently to kill them." esje snorts in her laughter, a hand coming to her mouth as it does nothing to help the accusations of giggling from loki. "i am...not giggling too much. i was simply funny, i cannot help that." she returns, lost in amusement now as she tries another attempt at the trick. she readies her stance, only to burst out into more laughter and the raise of the sword is lowered again. "you are being serious and now that's what makes me laugh, because you never are." she waves her free hand. "okay, let me breathe and then i try." esje composes herself, straightening her spine with a deep breath only for the exhale to be a snicker. "you look so grumpy at me just because i laugh!? do you not like it when someone else is funnier than you?"

[rviner]

Loki's gaze flickers over Esje's features, wishing to capture the hope that sparks behind her eyes so he can see it whenever he wants to. Mirroring her smile, his laughter echoes and his hand presses mockingly to his chest as if struck by an unseen blow with her words. "Esje." he chuckles in feigned hurt. "If that is truly what you think, should I leave?" Loki grins now, able to predict the stern words he will receive as a reply. With a cocksure tilt of his head, he stands taller with his declaration. "I can teach you many things." his voice laced with confidence, though he shrugs after the statement. "Except for the bow, unless it is to hunt." it doesn't matter to him how many mentors Esje wishes to guide her, as long as he's one of them. But there is a selfishness he can't shake, preferring if she wanted only him. "Do you not think you will learn more if you focus on one thing? And therefore you will master it quickly?"

He can't control the small jolt of jealousy that surges as she mentions their Alpha, and the way she cares deeply about his opinion. Rational thoughts are nowhere to be found and Loki shrugs with a forced indifference. "He may also wonder where you learned it, but I do not think he will care. Being trained by him is just to placate your brother." he has to say it to ease his own mind, trying to hide away the bitter edges of his words.

Their laughter intertwines, but Loki's is purely from the addictive melody of Esje's. "I am waiting for you to go again!" he laughs at her, gesturing to his readied stance. "You are giggling too much." he chides with a smirk of mischief, feigning complete innocence for his words. "I am the only one being serious, maybe you have tired yourself enough where everything seems hilarious." Loki's gaze lingers over her and he gestures, this time feigning an authoritative tone. "Go on, Esje. It is not hard, you can do it if you focus."

esje feels a gentle flutter in her chest as loki's words wrap around her like a warm embrace. his support ignites a flicker of hope within her, a smile pricking her lips instantly. "you are right, the element of surprise does suit me." her eyes brim with excitement as she chuckles. it's as if he holds a lantern in the dark corners of her mind, illuminating pathways she never dared to tread before. "and it is so fun! it is more fun than this. no offence." she says without shame and a quick wave of her hand. esje gives loki a quick and sharp glance when he vaguely suggests patience, and she can't control the swift scoff. "well i know i certainly will not be able to get lessons from you about that." she quips in amusement as she grins. "i have a lot of catching up to do, loki. i have to throw myself into all of this and...make up for the lost years."

there's a grin about playing a little trick on roan, and esje chuckles just imagining it. "maybe when i am better at more things, i can do the trick to annoy him. otherwise he will just think i am wasting my time." she decides, still careful about how anyone perceives her while she learns. which is why she scoffs out in offence as loki laughs at her, huffing with annoyance. "stop, go again. i will do it this time!" she asserts passionately, readying her stance as loki does the same. esje takes the moment seriously, focusing to the task at hand until loki's quip makes her falter and let out a reluctant laugh when it throws her concentration. "loki." she scolds him without ire, fighting her grin. "do not do that when i want to...focus." she flusters, laughing again and jabbing her blade towards him in hopes of it stabbing his arm. "can you not be serious for even five minutes?"

[rviner]

Loki can finally let his chuckle free, once again in admiration for Esje's mischievous spirit. His smile mirrors hers, and he gives her a playful but dutiful nod as he predicted she would not leave the training room until she mastered the useless yet amusing trick. He also listens intently as he explains about her hesitancy with the bow, and Loki refuses to admit that he has also been among the warriors that likened archery to fanciful hunter skills.

His mouth is truly sealed shut, and swift as the wind, he changes his opinion in a matter of seconds. "It requires different skills. Besides, even warriors joke with each other to get a reaction." he shrugs to her. "I think the element of surprise suits you, Esje. And archers are still trained as we are, you do not have anything to lose." he hopes to renew a spark of motivation with his words but ultimately Loki is aware that Esje's mind has to wind through its own course before finally reaching a decision. Thinking of every possible outcome that sits before her. However, when it comes to forfeiting their sessions so she has more time to focus, Loki senses a wave of selfishness that he can't control. A frown flits over his lips while he considers the idea, but he simply can't bring himself to lapse their time together. "Maybe days of the week instead. You do not need to become a master of everything so quickly, even though you want to." the irony of him suggesting patience is not lost on him either.

Loki grins at Esje's small mutter, a quick laughter emitting from him. "I think he would find it funny. Roan is not as serious as people assume." he shrugs, keen eyes then studying over Esje's stance as she prepares to disarm him. Loki remains still, already anticipating the disarming of her own sword due to the angle she drives forward from. He falls into quick laughter, both to the flail and her words. "I bet you don't." Loki retorts in a teasing quip, waiting for Esje to collect the sword again. "I thought you said you never want me to make anything easier for you?" he challenges her, snickering as he readies again for another try. "Will you demand for Roan to change his grip like this?" Loki grins wildly, a nod of his head to encourage the next attempt. "The worst you can do is cut my knuckles, and even if you did slice away my fingers from the bone, there is still my mouth. You will be fine."

esje gives a thoughtful nod to loki's words but is more tuned to the subtle graze of his hand against her face. her eyes flick between his and a softer smile lifts her lips. sometimes, the complexities of loki do not seem as confusing as they used to. an earnest tenderness comes naturally to him, contradicting his brutal ways in combat. "i still wish to learn it. i want to annoy people too." esje grins with her insistence, laughter escaping in a quick note.

the encouragement from loki brings another nod over her head, esje sometimes exhausted from the way she thinks about so many things at once. she enjoyed learning with astrid, and felt a continued swell of pride at handling a bow. but a gnawing in the back of her mind urged her to consider if it was enough. "well, astrid said that it is sometimes a little joke that being an archer does not require as many skills." she explains to loki's question, a shrug of her shoulders following. "i want to prove myself so my capability is never questioned. ever." her view is absolute, finite. "plus i enjoy learning from you too. i wish there were more hours in the day now. roan's lessons, astrid's and yours. surely there must be a way to create time for it all."

as loki dodges the clumsy swish of her blade, esje's laugh emits like a cackle and she waves her free hand in apology. "you are fine, i knew you would get out of the way." she teases, readying her position and eager to learn this little trick. esje's eyes follow where loki points to, nodding as she listens and then prepares. "i am not going to disarm the alpha, loki." she mutters, despite a small grin tugging her lips because suddenly the thought is amusing to her. but her gaze narrows as she deciphers where she needs to aim. she prepares, trying to follow loki's teaching to the letter. she drives forward hesitantly, aiming the point of her blade towards the grip but what happens next is nothing short of a flail that only sends her own grip loosened from the weapon. disarming herself in the process and the sword clattering to the ground as she laughs. "that does not count!" esje points in warning at him. "i panicked. your hand is too close, i do not want to cut off your fingers. again. lower your grip." she demands in a bossy wave of her hands as she collects her sword.

[rviner]

Loki finds her spirited defiance endearing, and he wonders if Esje notices the subtle curve of his lips whenever she insists and asserts. There is one across his face now, tugging at the corners of his mouth as he struggles to suppress a chuckle and nods to acknowledge her words. "I did not mean it quite so literally." he explains, his voice tinged with amusement. "What I meant was you will need to learn to conserve your energy in battle." his words carry a playful cadence at her fiery determination. As she mentions the sword, Loki shrugs nonchalantly, stepping closer to Esje. With a gentle sweep, he clears strands of moon-white hair from her face, his hand coming to rest at her jaw. "It was a trick we used to annoy each other during training. It is not so useful in battle." he reveals, though he senses she'll still insist on mastering it.

As Esje mentions her lessons in archery, Loki's gaze scans over her features and witnesses the spark of motivation that lights behind her eyes. "You must always follow where your talents are, Esje. Why do you not seem so pleased to be good at something?" he quizzes, gaze narrowing slightly as his thumb brushes against her cheek. "Instead of being here you should spend more time with Astrid and the bow." he explains, urging her to not let the defeat he can sense win. And of course, she insists about the sword trick and begins to swipe her blade, making Loki have to tear from her and dodge the steel with a laugh. "Okay! Esje, I will teach you but I cannot teach a thing if you take my head." he teases her, stepping a healthy pace backwards as he draws his own sword next. "It can only really be done when you are face to face, so it is pointless to use in battle because if you are close enough to do this then you are close enough to kill them." he shrugs, adopting his previous stance. "But maybe you can do it to show off to Roan." this time he grins instead of bitterness tinging the Alpha's mention. Loki rotates his wrist so she can see the grip and he gestures with his other hand to the guard. "You simply aim the point of your sword here, tuck it under and you twist it so it catches and pull. Try." he goes back to his stance, edging just a little bit closer to make it easier for her.

loki's voice carries beneath the clash of steel, reaching esje when she exhales heavily, weariness evident from the hours spent honing her skills. but she is determined not to falter, especially in the presence of the pack's alpha who now teaches her. still, under roan's guidance, a nagging sense of incompleteness gnaws at her. a missing link refusing to fall into place. meaning her already lengthy days bleed into even longer nights. where once again, esje is adamant on being taught by loki. "i'm fine." she asserts, brushing aside disheveled strands of hair just moments before loki effortlessly disarms her, sending her sword clattering to the ground.

"if i have to learn how to fight when i am tired, it might as well be now when i already am." she retorts but then she is gesturing toward the fallen weapon. "how did you do that? you didn't even get my hand." she queries with a mix of fatigue and curiosity, and some mild irritation as she inspects her unscathed knuckles. esje catches the subtle shift in loki's tone. though unspoken, she senses his reluctance towards her training elsewhere. so, she ignores the quip and draws in a deep breath as she takes the sword from him. "i think i have a natural affinity for the bow and arrow." she muses, her defeat evident as she recounts astrid's warnings about the weapon's perceived unseriousness due to the common use in hunting. and being taken seriously is one of esje's main objectives. "i was good at it, she said." she nods with a slight smile of pride to loki before she waves the sword in her hand. "i want to learn how to do what you just did. that little..." she precariously and heavily swoops the blade around. "the flick thing. and then we can go." she demands and requests at once.

[rviner]

"You shouldn't worry." Loki replies, his voice a mere whisper yet carrying certainty. Confidence embodies him easily, strengthened by his unwavering beliefs in the intricate tapestry of fate. However, the contours of his journey have shifted profoundly since intertwining with Esje's. His fingers delicately trace the newly bestowed braid by Rineike, affection as tender as the way he smiles at her before gently tucking it behind loose tendrils of hair. "I have always known my fate, Esje." he asserts with a resolute gaze, diving deep into the green pools of her eyes. "Before I met you, I would have agreed that this might be my fated path. Dying for my brothers." he continues, his words whispered from unwillingness to shatter the warm quiet they share. "Now, I believe my fate is to die for you." he hushes, conviction weaving seamlessly into the soft timbre of his voice. A chuckle follows as Esje rolls her eyes, and as always, Loki mimics the motion with his own. "See. Like I said. You are jealous you can't go, too." he teases, a mischievous glint in his eyes. But his grin becomes fond as she mentions their time together, his hand untangles from her hair and trails against her back, his gaze tracing the path his palm takes and lingering as it caresses her hip and grazes against her waist. "You...think?" he whispers, feigning surprise and his eyes are alight with playful mischief as they meet hers once more. "What can I do to make you know that you will miss me? Clearly, I am doing something wrong." he adds with a playful lilt, stifling his chuckle from growing too loudly. "Think." Loki continues with a scoff. "I say that my fate is now tied to you, and you tell me you think you will miss me. Esje. My love, how cruel you are."

the uncertainty of loki's upcoming journey lingers around esje, her body entwined beneath the soft furs and sheets and mirroring the way her thoughts twist and turn. in the quiet of the room, the warmth of his arm draping over her draws her closer, his kisses easing her tense shoulders. "of course i'm worried." she whispers softly, turning to face him as a hint of a frown creases her brow at his question. his playful grin melts her defenses, coaxing a chuckle and a roll of her eyes. "i am not jealous, that's stupid. i am nowhere near ready to go alone. i only wish more of us could go, so I could join you." esje confesses, her fingers tracing the contours of his face. "because I've realized, we've spent every day and every night together for a year. this will be the first time we won't." her touch lingers as another frown tugs at her lips. "i think i'll miss you." she admits, pulling slightly away from him to read his reaction within the darkness.