#local adult woman can’t shut the fuck up about anime boys in love

[tanjir0se]

I just think that Giyu getting hurt in a battle or something and almost dying and Rengoku wants to tell him he loves him because he almost missed his chance but he can’t figure out how to say it so instead he is like GIYU I UM. I AM. UM. I WOULD LIKE. FOR. YOU TO MEET MY BROTHER please. Bc his brother is so important to him that having a person meet him is almost like saying I love you. And Giyu is like ok because he KNOWS how important Senjuro is !!!!!!! !! And also his own family is dead and he misses knowing what it’s like to have a sibling!!!

And so they go get udon with Senjuro and it just turns into a date that only Senjuro realizes is a date that he’s third wheeling. Goodnight

[grass-skirt]

what are your least/most favorite anime trope?

Okay this took me a long time but in my defense I was giving it serious thought! So here’s what I’ve got so far. 

Tropes I love:

Characters who are adorable and tiny and also unreasonably powerful

Shark teeth. Allow me to repeat myself. SHARK TEETH!!!!!! I fucking love characters with shark teeth.  

Cat ears. I’m not gonna lie, I like cat ears. On boys and girls. Cat ears for everyone (everyone who is cute).

Characters who are really nice but who look super scary. I’m not talking about delinquents who are secretly softies. I’m talking full Angel Densetsu–characters who are super nice and don’t even try to be scary in any way but unfortunately for them they come across as so intimidating that they can go “Excuse me you dropped your pencil” and ppl freak out because they think they’re about to get stabbed

Giant, terrifying, massively powerful man with super scary face!! ….and a tiny adorable child on his shoulder who loves him.

Misunderstandings used for comedy. (You know, like the school delinquents all becoming terrified of a character who is actually a total softie)

Your standard 4 Heavenly Kings style overpowered groups. Like the Student Council or the neighborhood delinquent crew.

I do kinda like tournament arcs. They can be a lot of fun.

Super hot androgynous characters who more often then not are evil. Is it bad representation? Yes! But they’re cool and hot so like… yeah

Super buff giant women. Are there enough of them? Hell no. But I love them when they are there.

Local girl is dumbass but boy does she try her best with a whole lot of aggressive enthusiasm! (Think Little Witch Academia)

Smug evil women. The real powerful ones who the main characters try to yell at and defy but she’s just still there grinning smugly and talking about how cute they are for thinking they can stop her.

Tropes that should die:

Female characters who are supposedly super strong and powerful but never fucking get to do anything ever. 

Sexualized earlier mentioned tiny, cute, and powerful characters (”they may look like a 10 year old but they’re actually an adult or thousands of years old!” doesn’t make it any better) 

Incest subplots… which is a different but kind of related topic since it’s usually younger sisters who are in love with their older brother or vise versa)

Perverts who never shut up about saying gross things and harassing every single woman around them but are still core members of the main group and will never fucking go away or die. And like 5 year old boy characters who are perverts and are used to creep on women in a secret and ~non-predatory because they’re just a child~ way

I really could just say fanservice as a whole. I mean, take your pick. The female character who just ~loves~ telling the MC to feel her giant boobs? Dudes tripping and falling face/hand first into a girl’s boobs? A group of boys peeking on the girls in the hotsprings episode but getting yelled at and slapped so it’s all okay b/c the girls can stand up for themselves (or not)? Female characters constantly talking about each others’ boobs and groping each other? Female characters being kidnapped and stripped and chained up naked and possibly tortured so that 40 year old animator and manga artists can get off on it? Burn it all. Sex and sex appeal and all that isn’t inherently bad, but jezus anime and manga cram a lot of it into inappropriate situations and in super sleezy, gross forms.

Characters acting like they need to dedicate their entire lives to the shit they said when they were 5 years old (aka, fantasies about girls’ physical and emotional purity because they’ve spent their entire lives in love with 1 person only)

Similarly, harems where a ton of girls fall in love with a dude because he’s like… kind of nice sometimes. That, and the reverse of where there’s a million girls all in love with the same guy because he’s emo and brooding and mean (we all know I’m talking about Sasuke and Tobey Maguire in Spider Man 3)

Characters who want to say something important (usually confessing their feelings), starting to say it, and then going, “…No… It’s nothing” *fake smile*

A never ending series of massive villain and hero powerups. Oh, you just beat a villain who could blow up the entire earth? Well this next bad guy can blow up the whole solar system. And then the next guy can blow up the whole galaxy! (cue training arc and/or massive gifted powerup.) Ya can’t substitute good writing and an interesting plot with characters who can destroy an increasingly large number of buildings or planets or galaxies.

Oh, and here’s another related one. Where the main character scarifies his abilities to temporarily gain the power to defeat the bad guy who was so overpowered that there was no other way to defeat him. Aaaaaaand then he gets his powers back 1 or 2 arcs later with no long term consequences for the supposed sacrifice. (Looking at you, Bleach.)

Overly complicated attempts at philosophical depth that don’t actually mean anything and barely even relate to the plot. “This world is but a hollow egg, propped up by a sea of roses with thorns that are built from the hearts of men who dream of honey but can’t grasp the apple before them…” *Followed by 5 more minutes of back and forth debate delivered through abstract symbolism and then the villain and MC sword fight.* Symbolism is real and can be done well and with genuine meaning behind it, but a lot of the time there’s just nothing actually there. Plus, symbolism is something you show. You can’t just have a dude say metaphors about apples and dreams for 5 minutes and have it count. 

This one’s actually a bit more serious IMO. You know the whole Naruto/Sasuke dynamic? The one where person A and person B are friends, and then person B decides to do horrible things and hurt everyone around them but person A still views them as a friend no matter what? Yeah not a fan. Friendships aren’t a contract where once you call someone a friend once you need to be their friend for the rest of your life and tear yourself apart trying to help them. It sets bad expectations to kids about what friendship is when they think that their friends will continue to want to spend time with them and see them as their friend regardless of how shitty they’re being.

Alright that’s all I got for now!!! 

[loudlytransparenttrash]

The left’s perversion of children

An eight-month-old Canadian baby who is female, is the first child in the world to have their gender marked as “unknown” on official documents. The baby will have a “U” (for “undetermined” or “unassigned”) in place of an “M” or an “F”. The baby’s mother, or father, or whatever they call themselves, also refuses to be defined by any single gender. 

A father forces his eight-year-old daughter to recite hands up don’t shoot and to believe that black people are being hunted and gunned down by racist white people to the point where she bursts into tears with fear and confusion. Another child is forced into tears when her mom tells her that she will be targeted by police because of her skin color. The same series shows a mom teaching her daughter that Republicans hate women and black people, they also find it hilarious teaching their kids how to masturbate and how to have sex.

A mother forced her three-year-old son to start ballet dancing as punishment for liking boy things. It all stemmed from one day, she says, she handed her son a flower and he said he did not want it. His other crimes involved not liking Frozen and pink popsicles. The mother thinks that if her three-year-old son rejects random feminine tastes now, he’ll reject concepts like “kindness and decency” in the future and she fears he will not respect women.

A Texas mom has demanded for her local kindergarten to allow her five-year-old “transgender daughter” to use the girl’s bathroom. The kindergarten has gender neutral bathroom options available but this is not good enough, as the mom believes that not using the girls’ bathroom would affect her child’s well being. 

A new teaching aid is telling school children that terrorists kill people because they believe they are “treated unfairly and not shown respect,” and related terrorists struggles to the women’s Suffragettes movement, saying “The Suffragettes used violence and were called terrorists. Today many people think of them as brave women and admire their struggle.” Talking About Terrorism recommends teachers “invite children to write a letter to a terrorist” to better understand their cause which will lead to “greater tolerance.”

A Canadian province has passed a law that gives rights to the government to take away children from families that don’t accept their kid’s chosen “gender expression.”

I can’t even find the words to describe this one, just watch.

Lesbian gender non-comforming moms are raising their two-year-old son to also be genderless. Buzzfeed celebrated them in this video as they laugh about forcing their son to wear dresses as he cries “no!” and teaching him that the little boys and girls in his books aren’t really boys and girls and oh, they’re also shocked that even after raising him to be genderless, their son still acts like a boy.

The author of a children’s coloring book has invented a character named “Toni the Tampon” to instruct children that men can menstruate. Cass Clemmer, the author of The Adventures of Toni the Tampon, has been using her coloring book character to “destigmatize” menstruation. Now, however, she also wants to “de-gender” the female biological process and to persuade children that men get periods too.

Transgender activists are furious a documentary was aired featuring an expert who believes that helping children with gender issues feel comfortable in their own bodies is preferable to encouraging them to mutilate and distort themselves into believing they are the opposite sex. Activists concerned about the film Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best? say they fear that the decision to give airtime to the views of Canadian psychologist Kenneth Zucker will “damage the lives of trans children.” Zucker was fired and the world-renowned child gender clinic he ran for 30 years was shut down. 

Parents who oppose their children being forced to share bathrooms and shower rooms with opposite-sex kids must begin “putting aside their prejudices,” says a leading transgender activist. Mara Kiesling and her supporters are pushing for government-enforced nationwide changes in civic practice about sex and kids, even though available data shows fewer than 0.3 percent of the population try to live as members of the opposite sex, and that very few “gender confused” young kids continue their transgender feelings into adulthood.

FCKH8 put several girls as young as six in front of a camera and told them to say ‘fuck’ a lot while they explain to everyone “I shouldn’t need a penis to get paid,” “which one of us will be the one in five who will be raped by a man,” and “our worth comes from the shape of our ass.” The video then shows a boy in a dress, followed by some large woman encouraging people to buy ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ t-shirt.

Mother’s Day is banned from several schools, with children being told they cannot celebrate or create gifts for their mothers in an effort to “celebrate diversity, inclusivity, and also to nurture our students who are part of non-traditional families.”

A government-funded study calls for adjusting a measurement used to determine obesity to correct for differences across ethnic groups. The race-based adjustments lower the Body Mass Index for children of African descent, making them seem thinner. Scientists studied children of various ethnic groups between the ages of 4 and 12, and developed a race-based technique to “adjust��� BMI definitions to ethnicity. The new adjustments mean black children are less likely to be classified as overweight or obese than a white child with the same BMI as you know, it’s racist to be honest these days. 

Another school has displayed posters providing messages to its students of support and love. Undocumented students are loved and told that they are safe and there are no walls in this classroom, that black students are loved and their life matters, that Muslim students are loved and are not terrorists, that Mexican students are loved and are not rapists, that LGBT students are loved and are perfect, that female students are loved and that they will not let men grab them. And that’s where the love stops. Missing an entire group of kids…  

Doctors have been told to refer to expectant mothers as “pregnant people” so as not to offend transgender people in official guidelines issued by Medical Associations. The booklet states: “A large majority of people that have been pregnant or have given birth identify as women. However, there are some intersex men and trans men who may get pregnant. We can include intersex men and trans men who may get pregnant by saying “pregnant people” instead of “expectant mothers.”

A video produced by a Rochester family entertainer aims to teach young children to accept adults of the opposite sex entering their bathrooms. In Mr. Loops’ video, he and his wife dance around bathroom stalls with animal character puppets, singing “No matter your gender, we gotta remember, it all comes out the same in the end.” LGBTQ Nation’s assessment applauded it, saying Mr. Loops’ video “explains bathrooms and bigots in the best possible way.”

A father teaches his confused seven-year-old daughter why she isn’t allowed to say all lives matter. Because she is white, she can only say black lives matter. He goes on to explain to her after she tells him she wants to grow up to be like Martin Luther King Jr, that she cannot as she is not oppressed and she is just “another well intentioned white person.” 

Another couple sat their six and eight-year-old children down to tell them that black people are being hunted by police officers, that is why Black Lives Matter exists. They say their child interrupted them as they were giving their lecture, and they snapped, saying “This isn’t the right time for a joke.” As they tucked their daughter into bed, they told her a bed time story of how black people are being targeted and abused by police for no reason, and they took great pride in how progressive and woke their child was when she said she wants to stop police from hurting black people. She concludes, “I realized, with sadness and shame, that, if we had been black, we would have had these conversations long ago.” 

Teachers in California are struggling to calm children down about the election of Donald Trump. At an elementary in San Pablo, a teacher held what’s called a ‘restorative circle’ with about 24 of her nine-year-old students. They each took turns holding a yellow ball and expressed a gamut of emotions from despair to hopelessness about the future under Trump. 

They also love taking children to protests and giving them grown up signs to hold. We see three-year-olds holding signs saying ‘I like unicorns and reproductive health care,’ ’my body my choice,’ ‘GOP Hands Off Me,’ and ‘white silence equals violence’ at the Women’s March and during Black Lives Matter protests, they hold signs saying ‘please don’t shoot,’ ‘no justice no peace,’ ‘my generation is next, don’t shoot.’

A two-year-old boy started dancing like Beyoncé and when his parents asked him if he wanted to be a girl, he said yes. So the boy became a transgender girl. Controversy began in the child’s Minnesota kindergarten when the school decided to teach the other kindergarteners about gender identity and reading them stories about how they can change their gender if they feel like it. Ten kids transferred to another school after they began asking their parents if they could become transexual too. In response to the parents moving their children, LGBT activists lined the kindergarten hallway chanting slogans and holding signs. 

Elementary schools are now holding “Black Lives Matter Day,” after school districts say “By almost every measure, people of color are not treated equally by our society." The school resource toolkit is used to teach lessons like “Looking at Race and Racial Identity Through Critical Literacy in Children’s Books” where coloring book pages that say “Black Youth Matter” are given to the kids and students must go through lessons titled, “Racial Disparity in the Criminal Justice System.” Students also watch Jesse Williams’ BET speech, as well as formulate responses as to why “All Lives Matter” isn’t a good response. The children will also be recommended websites discussing Michael Brown, as well as encouraged to read things like “White Privilege and Male Privilege” and “Black Lives Matter Syllabus,” which touches on the “moral ethics of black rage and riotous forms of protest,” and “the myth of black on black crime.” 

North Carolina enrolled grade-school students in a “Black Lives March and Rally” where the teachers could opt-in or opt-out their classes, but parents were not given a choice. Stef Bernal-Martinez, a teacher of 6-year-old children, signed up all the children in her class for a “Black Lives March and Rally” to take place during the school day. Ms. Bernal-Martinez describes herself as a “Radical Queer Progressive Educator.” The school’s K-4 Associate Director, Raenel Duncan-Edmonds, brags the school is training “activists.”

After recent terror attacks, a children’s news website created a page for kids to learn about Islamophobia. It begins: “Following recent events in the news you might have been hearing a lot about Islam and maybe the term ‘Islamophobia’ - but what does this mean?” It declares that Islam is peaceful as “The word “Islam” comes from an old Arabic word meaning “peace,” although the following day they were forced to correct themselves, adding “The word “Islam” actually means “submission”, implying submission to Allah.” 

A mother was summoned to her seven-year-old son’s elementary school and was told her son was at the centre of a ‘major incident.’ She was told that the situation was so serious she would have to sign an official form admitting her son was racist. Her son’s crime? Asking another student if he was from Africa. The kid broke down in tears when he was faced with a furious reaction from staff. The mother says, “I was told I would have to sign a form acknowledging my son had made a racist remark, which would be submitted to the local education authority for further investigation.”

An eight-year-old came home from school and asked their mom why she liked Trump when he is a racist and hates women. A headmaster of an elementary school gave a lecture featuring his own brand of politics, alarming the kids about the state of the world. He said he hoped to see his pupils again next week ‘if Trump has not pressed the nuclear button by then’, and sent them home with a newsletter reinforcing his point. 

Bank Street School for Children has a new diversity program that is segregating children based upon their race. The “Racial Justice and Advocacy” program divides children into an “advocacy group” for white students and the “kids of color affinity group.” White children, beginning as early as age 6, are told “they’re born racist,” while students of color are “taught to feel proud about their race” and are given cupcakes and treats white children are denied. “Even white babies are capable of racism,” they say. The program is taught by the school’s director of diversity, Anshu Wahi, described as a “longtime social activist.” Wahi allegedly has also indicated in school presentation slides her desire to give students of color “a dedicated space” to “voice their feelings” and “share experiences about being a kid of color.”

Major stores have decided to remove ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ toy and bedding departments as gender activists believe a child playing with a “stereotypical” toy or a girl sleeping in pink princess bedding sets them on a path of conforming to damaging gender roles. Children are not gender neutral and if these loonies fresh out of their gender study classrooms believe otherwise, that’s probably because most of them have not yet had kids and really have no idea what children want.

A grade three class in Toronto took to the streets with signs and an oversized papier mache oil pipeline to protest the laying of an actual pipeline in western Canada. Also in Toronto, first-graders brought home student planners marked with the international days of zero tolerance on female genital mutilation and ending violence against sex workers. Another school banned best friends because that made other kids feel left out. A six-year-old boy in Denver was suspended for singing the pop anthem I’m Sexy and I Know It to a female classmate, violating the school’s sexual-harassment policy.

Kids are being taught about “male privilege” and shown images of men and women cleaning dishes and playing football as part of a program to break gender stereotypes and reduce domestic violence. The program’s material says children ages six to eight will be taught to chant statements such as “girls can be doctors and can be strong” and “boys can be gentle and can mind babies.” They will also be taught about male privilege, or “automatic, unearned benefits  bestowed upon dominant groups based on gender and race.” 

[ael-xander]

Ti'taris Awakening Chapter One “I can’t miss it! I can’t. Just can’t!” The woman raced to unlock the door. Hearing the click, she opened the door, slamming it shut behind her while grabbing the remote on the table by the door. Clicking a button, the large flat screen television flared to life. Tossing her briefcase, Lysse kicked off her shoes followed by vaulting over the back of her sofa, until she landed on it. Music reached her ears as an opening sequence of an animated character fought against evil incarnate. Sighing, the young woman reclined against the sofa. “Made it, just in time. Today’s episode is the climax in the battle between Namorian and Ephram. Go Ram!” Sucked into the storyline, Lysse spent the next hour living the classic battle of good versus evil. Throughout the show, she spoke encouragement, made comments, and reacted to the twists and turns in the episode. As the show came to the ending, Lysse gasped. “You can’t leave it like that! Oh hell, I’m going to have to take a day off of work next week! No fucking way." The credits played, reminding Lysse that she left a mess upon her arrival. Shaking her head, she picked up her shoes and put them in the nearby closet and moved her briefcase to her home office. She hesitated a moment, her eyes glancing at the computer, but decided it was better to not even be tempted. There wouldn’t be a hint of the next episode for at least another couple of hours. With a rueful sigh, Lysse went to her bedroom and changed her clothes. What was it about Ti’taris Awakening that seemed to call to her soul? It was just a cartoon, but there was something more than that. The setting was outstanding, so real, but at the same time, there was something about the lead character, Ephram. His voice was pure rough silk and brandy; his looks were pure bad boy with a hint of platinum. She knew the voice actor, Devlin Roarke, and though he was handsome, his natural voice wasn’t the same as he did for Ephram. The joys of working in the media industry were she got to meet the people who did the voice work for many cartoons, commercials, and such. When she heard the concept behind Ti’taris Awakening, Lysse had been simply amazed and negotiated its serial in the US. The company she worked with had taken her advice to heart and now they were reaping the rewards of the merchandising as well as the children and adults watching the program religiously. Even she couldn’t help but be pulled into the world of Ti’taris. Having read the background and the character bios, Lysse found herself almost seeing the world as she worked and lived helping the show to become its own reality. For a while, she put it down as preproduction jitters, but now, now she was completely and utterly hooked. Lysse busied herself, making her meal, poring over her work on a couple of contracts dealing with two upcoming films, one of which dealt with a live action version of Ti’taris Awakening. She chuckled remembering hearing Jacob Stevenson saying, “Tit ahris” for the name instead of “Tee tahris.” Correcting him hadn’t helped much, but he was going to stay to the original storyline as much as possible. Of course, she wasn’t able to answer the only question he had. “Who created this show?” That was the ultimate question. Who created the show and managed to produce such an absorbing critique of humanity, of good versus evil? Try as she might, Lysse couldn’t get behind the mounds of legalese and roadblocks thrown in her way. Normally, she could get around anything, but this remained out of her reach. Just when she thought she was getting close, things would suddenly close up. Her eyes strayed towards her computer then to her watch. He’d be on. Maybe, just maybe he’d give her another clue to finding Ti’taris Awakening’s author. Before she realized it, Lysse stood before the computer, booting it up. Sitting in her chair, she logged online quickly, signing into her messenger system while putting her email client to work. Lysse scanned her emails, deleting the junk before catching sight of a name. Stopping, she smiled. He had written her early this morning. Lysse, Just wanted you to know I’m not sure I’ll be online tonight. Work is beyond unbearable. Keeping the thought of talking to you as a reward if I can beat back the savage beast to his chamber. Have you considered my offer? I don’t want to rush you, but to be honest, I’d love to finally meet in person. Your safety comes first though, so whatever you deem best. Always, E. Mikkelson. Softly, she caressed the screen. He always signed it with his initial. A half smile crossed her face. She knew it was because he was afraid people would equate him with the character Ephram as they shared the same name. Over and again, she told him not everyone would make that comparison, but he told her of the times he had with others who did. She couldn’t blame him for his reluctance, but since most people referred to the character by his nickname, Ram, she didn’t think it was an issue. Yet, it touched her to see him sign his name, including his last name as an act of faith. Maybe it was time to meet him in person. Deciding that it was time once again to creep out of the shell of seclusion she wove around her, she replied. She was off this weekend and if he were willing, she’d love to meet him somewhere public, like the local bookstore. They could get a drink, talk books and go from there. Hitting the send button, Lysse closed her eyes and released her breath. Fear curled around her heart briefly. She wasn’t much to look at, fairly plain actually. What if she wasn’t like he expected? Too late now for regrets, Lysse. Just deal with it. Finishing the rest of her email, Lysse prepared to log off when her messenger showed Ephram logging on. E_Mikkel: Lysse, you there? Lysse_Astarte: I’m here. You okay, Ephram? Things go okay at work? E_Mikkel: Something like that. Just recovered enough to get online. How was your day? Lysse_Astarte: ☺ Almost missed today’s episode, but got there in the nick of time. Did you see it? E_Mikkel: Saw the last 45 minutes of it. Was quite spectacular. Amazing sequence with how Namorian managed to grab Mara and cut Ram’s arm. What do you think are the consequences that Namorian raved about? Lysse_Astarte: *thinks * Honestly, I’m wondering if he’s talking about the way the war is tearing up the lands. The more I watch it, the more it reminds me of here with our environmental versus big business. Yet, at the same time, it’s different. We know the earth can renew itself given a chance, but when you give the land and its people no breaks, no time to heal, then in a way, you destroy the foundations. E_Mikkel: I thought so too. What I found interesting is that Ram thinks by ridding Namorian, all things will be settled. Lysse_Astarte: Yeah. Unfortunately, it’ll take more than just stopping Namorian before that happens. He’s also got his followers and the generals who have control of their areas. But getting rid of the head will make it easier to negotiate peace from a position of power. I only hope that Ram realizes that death alone won’t stop the destruction of Ti’taris. He needs to also begin a campaign to rectify the wrongs done on both sides. E_Mikkel: What do you mean by that? *lifts brow* Lysse_Astarte: I mean Ram’s army has done wrong too. Yes, it’s in the name of peace, justice, and balance, but they’ve still done wrong. If they don’t rectify the errors and harm they’ve done, then they’re just as guilty of lording over the peoples of Ti’taris as are Namorian and his henchmen. But by going back and making tithe to the land, just as Galzora asked, then it would be the first step to showing they’re not of the same mold. E_Mikkel: Great point, Lysse. I hadn’t considered that aspect at all. Since Galzora is the Soul of Ti’taris, she would know how the land feels. Lysse_Astarte: More importantly, I think she’s a physical manifestation of the land and the people. Just as Mara is the heart of the Llewadaghs and Van is the head of the Tuathas, Galzora is the living representative of Ti’taris, letting Ram know what the land expects of him when he rules. E_Mikkel: ☺ You’re damn good at seeing this, Lysse. Too bad you’re not an advisor to the show. I see you got my email. Lysse_Astarte: * blush* Yes, I did. I’d love to finally meet you in person. Are you available this weekend? *bites lip nervously * E_Mikkel: Yes! Are you sure you want to do this? Lysse_Astarte: I’m sure. Just worried once you see me that you’ll regret it. E_Mikkel: *taps Lysse on head * No, remember you’ve shown me your picture before. You’re beautiful and I’d be honoured to be hanging at your side. Lysse_Astarte: Flattery will get you most anywhere that chocolate won’t. How about Patterson’s Bookshop around 2? E_Mikkel: Sounds like a plan. I’ll be in jeans, hiking boots, and prolly my Ti’taris Awakening t-shirt. I’ve got short spiky almost black hair, brown eyes, and a crooked grin. Lysse_Astarte: *tilts head and grins mischievously * You sure you’re not— E_Mikkel: Lysse Myrlene Astarte! Don’t you dare imply that! Lysse_Astarte: * giggles * Whatever do you mean, Ephram? E_Mikkel: Playing coy won’t work, Madame. I know exactly what you were implying. Lysse_Astarte: Well, dammit, Ephram, the description is one we hear all the time about Ram. What did you expect? *    *    * That was the question- what did Ephram expect? He rubbed his bandaged arm, looked at the instant message (IM) with a ragged sigh. Running a hand through his spiky hair, he tried to figure out why on some level it bugged him that she tried to equate him, even playfully, with Ephram on Ti’taris. Uh, because it’s true, asshole? Because you need her to help you save your world and in turn save hers? E_Mikkel: Not sure, perhaps that you’d think me different? Lysse_Astarte: You are different, Ephram. Very much so. But you used the exact same description that Galzora did in the third episode in describing him to Mara. I was just teasing, Ephram. I’m sorry. ☹ Ephram cursed. He’d forgotten that Gal had described him exactly that way when Mara and Van had asked about him. That was one of the problems in having a special recorder that taped and rotoscoped everything into anime form to be sent to the shadow world known as Earth. E_Mikkel: No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I had totally forgotten Galzora’s description. Trust me when I say my description is unintentionally like Ram’s. Lysse_Astarte: You sure you’re not mad at me? E_Mikkel: * hugs you tightly * I’m sure. I’m just a bit on edge dealing with work and a pain in the ass competitor. Lysse_Astarte: * hugs back * That sucks, Ephram. Tomorrow will be better? E_Mikkel: I can only hope. What about you? Lysse_Astarte: I’m catching up on the end of the workweek. Just some things to straighten up and then get the contracts for the T.A. movie into the right hands. After next week, I’m on vacation. Whooo hooo! E_Mikkel: Congrats, lady. What you doing for your vacation? Lysse_Astarte: Not sure. Prolly hang out here at the apartment. Depends on how I feel. E_Mikkel: Too bad you couldn’t come spend time with me while I go gallivanting around. Lysse_Astarte: That’s right, you’re going away for a couple of weeks. * pouts * I’ll miss our conversations. E_Mikkel: You wouldn’t if you come with me. * winks * Lysse_Astarte: * shakes head* You flirt! I bet you say that to all the women you know. I don’t know if I could leave and not be available by phone or computer. Not with the movie deal like it is right now. E_Mikkel: Once we meet, think on it, okay? It’d be fun having a friend around while I do my play job. Lysse_Astarte: I’ll consider it. It does sound more fun than sitting home alone. Ephram smiled. This woman wasn’t easily persuaded, but from the moment they met via email, chat, and through his lawyers, he knew she was special. It was only when she got him the coveted TV airtime on a major network that he realized she had something special, perhaps even a gift of power from Ti’taris. Then he saw her picture and knew their fates were linked beyond the two realms, Reality and Shadow. How could he explain when they met that she lived in Shadow and that Ti’taris was the land of Reality? Would she even believe him? Hell, he was the spitting image of his anime character, as he never thought he’d ever see a person from Shadow. Yet, he was going to go into the Shadow world to meet the beautiful Lysse and try to convince her to come save his world and hers. Ram knew that if they failed and Ti’taris fell, it would be only a matter of time before Earth fell as well. Lysse dying was unacceptable. The idea tore at his soul, knowing he would do anything to save the woman. Thus, Ram lived with the dilemma of knowing that heavy lays the crown of rulership. Men had died for him, women had longed for him, and he only knew pain and suffering would worsen if he lost. But Galzora promised him that she from the other land would be the key to victory, if only he could have her trust. Time was running out and now he had to get her help. They talked a while longer on other things as Ram took notes on the changes wrought by his war with Namorian. These helped him to keep on target, not to mention that Lysse’s advice had proven sage on many occasions, none of which, when seen by her and the viewing audience even hinted at Lysse that there was something more going on. Finally, he sent her to bed, promising to see her on Saturday. Leaning back in his chair, he let out a sigh. “Let me guess—Lysse is playing hard to get?” Van asked as he entered Ephram’s room. “No, in fact, we’re meeting on Saturday. It’s just hard knowing I’m still deceiving her.” “Look Ram, if there were another way, we’d have done it. I don’t like that we’re lying to a Shadow person either, but we have no choice. Not until we meet her and get her to Ti’taris.” Ram’s dark brown eyes took in the grey eyes of his best friend, Van Sethos. “I’m wondering if she’s a full Shadow person, Van.” “What?” “There’s something about her that radiates unusual, even among the Shadow People. Even the half breed lawyers we have noted it.” Van’s pale brow lifted under his long bangs. “You think she’s part Ti’tarisian?” Ram nodded. “Yeah, I do.” “That could complicate things.” “Or make them better.” “Yeah.” Van squeezed Ram’s shoulder. “We’ll muddle through this. Watching her on the cams has been interesting. She’s not the usual type I’d go for, but there is something very inviting about her.” Ram growled. “Yeah, but she’s not your type. Remember that.” “Jealousy already? The mighty Ram has fallen.” “Fuck off, Van. It’s not that.” Van chuckled. “As you say, Sire. I’m heading to bed. The guards are up and doing their rounds. We should be okay for the night.” “Thanks, Van. See you and Mara in the morning.” “Night, Ram. Get some sleep.” Ram never let his eyes wander from the monitor as he keyed in the code that pulled up the special remote recorder that allowed him to watch over Lysse. His body tightened as she crawled naked into bed, her body pale against the navy blue sheets and matching comforter. Every night he could, he watched her while she fell asleep, sometimes waking up to an unbearable pressure as their dreams merged, causing him to seek a hands on relief to the sexual tension she brought to him and his life. He had a feeling tonight would be like none other. Their dream bond seemed to be even stronger after she watched the latest episode of Ti’taris Awakening. Hopefully tonight he could convince her in the dreams that he needed her to come with him and to give him trust when they met. Without it, both their worlds would be doomed.

[undothedamage-blog]

Dear Parents

Hi. How ya doing? Being a parent is weird and hard and rewarding, right? That’s been my experience anyhow. Most of us are trying to do the best we can. There’s a lot expected of us. There’s a lot of pressure in raising a tiny human without fucking up. And I hate to add to your growing list of duties and concerns and necessary steps in raising a happy, healthy person but there’s something really important you need to do.

Teach your children what abuse looks like.

Now, the hardest part about doing that is actually going to be learning yourself what abuse looks like.

“I know what abuse is!” you say.

Sorry. You probably don’t. Statistically speaking, I’m more likely addressing somebody on the other side of the screen that hasn’t been properly educated on the realities of abuse. We’re fed a lot of myths about abuse. You don’t have to be ashamed because society failed to teach you right. It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to correct that error now.

I would suggest you sit down with a copy of Why Does He Do That? (my favorite book so far on the topic written by one of the world’s foremost experts). I know, I know. You’re busy. You’re stretched thin. You probably already lack time to read for pleasure as much as you did before you have kids and now some rando on the internet is assigning you fucking homework? But trust me, it’s worth it.

After that, teach your kids. Teach them what abuse looks like. Teach your sons especially what constitutes abuse and that there is no excuse to justify it and that they alone are responsible for their actions.

How?

There’s lots of ways (and a lot depends on their age). But here’s a list of suggestions:

Don’t ever force your children to hug or kiss someone if they don’t want to, not even Grandma, not even YOU. This teaches them bodily autonomy and that not even loved ones are entitled to violate their boundaries.

Make comments or ask questions about media you consume together to get them to think critically about the ideas presented to them. This might mean saying “hmmm, I wonder why there are so few girls in this movie.” or asking “How do you think [character a] felt when [character b] wouldn’t take no for an answer?” This can be a hard step because you’ll need to train yourself to spot problematic content in the first place. And I’m not saying you can’t watch anything problematic (you might as well give up TV altogether). Just challenge your kids to think about what they see. i.e. If you’re watching Batman the Animated Series you could say “I really don’t like the way Joker treats Harley Quinn. Do you think she deserves that?”

Acquire (whether by purchasing or borrowing from a library) positive representation of women and relationships for your children including (and perhaps especially) your sons. The publishing and media industries only market girl-centric stories to female audiences which contributes to boys growing up learning that stories and the world revolve around them. They also tend to only push media that deals with interpersonal relations and emotions on girls, leaving boys with action and violence heavy stories. This can send the message that empathy and emotional labor is for girls.

Talk to them, especially older kids and teenagers, particularly when they reach dating age. Invite them to ask questions and talk about their opinions about abuse to get them engaged in the conversation rather than simply lecturing. Take advantage of a captive audience (riding in the car for example) and teach them little bits here and there on a regular basis.

Respect your children and allow them reasonable control over their own lives. I’m not saying you should let your kid decide, “nah, I hate shots. I’m skipping my vaccinations.” But you should definitely give them the power of choice as often as you can. Maybe that means letting them dropping soccer for theatre or picking between two options for dinner’s side veggie. The important thing is they are raised in an environment that doesn’t predispose them to accepting total control from someone else.

Model healthy relationship dynamics in your own romantic relationship if you have one. This is especially important for dads. Even if you’re not abusive, you may engage in behavior that is based on the same underlying attitudes and entitlement that fuels abuse because society has taught you that it’s all right. It’s on YOU and you alone to recognize and fix that. 

Set hard and fast rules in your home regarding respect of women. Don’t allow your kids, especially your sons, to use misogynist language (shut down anything that labels women as inherently crazy or inferior, don’t condone the use of words like bitch or cunt, etc.). And no matter how awkward you feel, make sure you talk to them about the unrealistic and misogynist aspects of most pornography (when age appropriate).

Learn and utilize appropriate parenting tools especially regarding punishment vs. consequence, assertive vs. authoritarian parenting, and similar issues to avoid falling into abusive parenting patterns. How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Siblings Without Rivalry, Unconditional Parenting, and many other wonderful books will help you raise emotionally healthy kids with strong self esteem. Remember, there is no shame in seeking education to learn to how parent. It’s a skill like any other and nobody is born knowing how to do it right. But the old joke about wishing there was a parenting manual handed out when you have a baby? It’s only half true. There’s plenty of quality manuals (and unfortunately some shit ones too, so watch out). But you have to go get them yourself.

Insist the men and boys in your household participate equally in housework. To do otherwise reinforces the idea that men are entitled to have women take care of even their most basics needs (like a clean home or clean laundry or food to eat). Teaching your daughters to do an oil change and use a power drill is wonderful and great and you should do that too. But it’s arguably even more important to make sure you teach your sons not only how to clean, cook, manage a budget, do the grocery shopping, care for babies, etc. but that is expected of them just as much as it is of any woman.

Insist upon comprehensive sex ed programs that cover topics of consent, bodily autonomy, respect, and partner abuse. If your local schools don’t provide them, check for community offerings (the O.W.L. program offered at many Unitarian Churches is one such program and don’t worry, it’s secular). If there’s nothing available, take it into your own hands. Talk to your kids about this stuff and provide them appropriate books and resources on the topic.

Do your best. You won’t be perfect. No parent ever is. But if you try and if you never give up, you’ll more than likely succeed in raising kids that not only aren’t abusive, but that will not be drawn into an abusive relationship.

That said...

If you have teen or adult children you may very well face a situation in which they have either been abused, or accused of abusing someone else. What do you do then? Well, that first book I mentioned (Why Does He Do That?) lays out in detail exactly what family members should and shouldn’t do in these situations. But I’ll give you a quick and dirty summary:

If your child is facing abuse:

Believe them. And don’t blame them.

Don’t pressure them. Don’t pressure them to give their abuser another chance NOR should you pressure them to leave their abuser.

Listen to their needs and offer your support.

Give them the respect that their abuser won’t.

Get yourself support so that you can vent your sorrows and concerns to somebody else instead of burdening the abuse victim with comforting you.

When possible, and only if the victim agrees, offer practical support (such as paying for her to go to therapy, driving her to appointments, etc.).

If you child has been accused of abuse:

Believe the victim. Chances are they are telling the truth. When your child makes excuses for their behavior or tries to downplay it, press them on it for details and to describe what they think is their partner’s point of view on the matter. This will often reveal that they are exaggerating and/or lying and that they have not been honestly listening to or empathizing with their partner. Then make sure to talk to the victim and get her side of the story.

Do not make excuses for your child. Do not ask the victim to forgive them or give them another chance. Make it clear to your child that you will not participate in talk in which their victim is blamed or dehumanized or otherwise insulted.

Make it clear that you expect your child to get into a reputable abuser program (Lundy Bancroft describes what to look for to make sure it’s a good program in his book). Do not tell them to go to therapy or couple’s therapy. Only a program designed to address abuse will do any good and even then, only if the abuser chooses to do the long, hard work of changing. Conventional therapy can often make the situation even worse.

And in either case, avoid provoking the abuser. Chances are the abuser will take it out on their victim in private rather than risk damage to their reputation with you by lashing out at you.