#loads of fun with the dress

[fab-livious]

Broppy enchanted au, I have no idea if anyone has done this before but regardless I will make my own version

[deoidesign]

I met the me who made different choices

[rasoyas]

geeta was the only reason the rasoyas' apartment was going to be clean... but APPARENTLY she passed away of old age while i was playing blue's first few weeks 💀 moved raj into his own little tiny apartment and now... oh dear god... the clutter that's on the way...

[buglaur]

rufus and sawyer with their first horse, russet!

[scarlettcryptid]

saw cool screenshots of someone playing dress to impress on roblox so i opened it thinking it was just a dress up game but it's a timed fashion show game and i don't know how to unequip items and the chat is ignoring me can someone with a functioning brain cell please tell me how to remove items from my avatar in this fucking roblox game

[nerdie-faerie]

My twenties are for learning to love all of the 'girly' things I rejected as a teen finally exercising some autonomy

[floorpancakes]

i refuse to let clamp off the hook for underutilising himawari's fucking fascinating character setup and traits but on a less serious level im obsessed with the concept of her as an instigator of chaos.

like she's way less airheaded than she seems and it doesn't come off like Default Airhead Girl Behaviour or even Default Girl Companion That Ships Her Friends primarily (like not as hard as some other series by comparison I mean she's very I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE by default) specifically she just seems like someone that thoroughly enjoys being a little shit in a sincere way and giggling at her dumbass friends and has a shade of high emotional intelligence about it all. like she's just girl of all time. she's i don't know where im going with this just take this low effort meme from when i watched the holic stage play on youtube this isn't a coherent thought it's like 2am ill come up with better thoughts later

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

i've found all my old dance costumes and am having as much fun with them as u would imagine

(i'm keeping the pompoms)

[victorluvsalice]

Okay, with all the pictures and shells and fish and whatnot sorted, it was back to regular gameplay -- just in time to see Kelly sampling the fish platter I'd had to leave on the counter because I couldn't get it to drag into the fridge right away. XD I quickly got it away from her while I directed Victor to say hi to Shadow (who was very happy to see him again), Alice to grab the eggs out of the coop (two hatchable and one regular -- really gotta clear out all those roosters), and Smiler --

To start decorating the place! Or, well, to FINISH decorating it, more accurately, as I'd spent a little time dragging all their various Spookfest decorations, along with the two pumpkin carving stations, out of the attic while getting their pictures and souvenirs sorted. Some fun purple icicle lights for the eaves and black-and-white ghost banners on the fences completed the look --

As did Alice starting her pumpkin! Because a) you gotta have jack-o-lanterns for Spookfest and b) in my personal experience, the best way to complete the "Spooky Spirit" tradition is to carve a pumpkin -- interacting with ghosts and occult Sims is kind of iffy at best to get it to fire. *shakehead* Oh Sims 4... I naturally had her carve up a kitty pumpkin, on a pale orange pumpkin -- and she did so well that it turned out to be a masterpiece! :) Alice is just good at The Arts, what can I say.

And right after that, the first trick-or-treater showed up at the house! Smiler at the time was busy in the greenhouse brewing up a soothing skin balm potion (and getting their Herbalism skill up to level 6), while Victor was busy bathing Shadow (and then magicking away the resultant puddles), so it fell on Alice to give the visiting teen a trick or a treat. I had her quickly change into a costume, picking "space ranger" more or less at random, and give the kid some candy. Because she's a nice lady at heart, even if her "Loner" trait means she actually ignores the "Trick Or Treat" tradition herself. I then sent her inside to paint while Smiler started on their jack-o-lantern (a white one with a big grin on it, natch) and I sent Victor down to begin his (an orange one with an owl design, because I hadn't seen that one yet) --

And then, upon seeing the pets both downstairs, I went "hang on -- doesn't Kelly have a taco outfit? I should dress her up in that for Halloween! And Shadow as -- oh, wait, all she has is her little sweater and bow-tie...looks like we're popping into CAS for a second to get her a costume too!"

And so I did, choosing one of the "super-llama" outfits for her (in yellow and black, because you know that Smiler picked this out XD). Alice put Shadow and Kelly into their Halloween costumes, played a little bit of laser pointer with Kelly, then headed into the studio to do a playful painting, while Victor and Smiler got back to work on their pumpkins (going into CAS had knocked them out of their actions, and Smiler in particular had to start over because the game wouldn't let me resume their previous pumpkin, meh). So that was Alice and the pets all dressed up for the holiday...

[hella1975]

realised i havent complained about my job in a while despite working a shit ton lately including holidays (10 hours xmas eve + 7 hours boxing day + 10 hours new year's eve 🤡) so here's some quickfire BOLLOCKS ive had to deal with:

the kp (19F) and supervisor (33F) almost got in a punch up LMAO

my manager decided to have a complete breakdown on nye and took it out on literally everyone. like he overbooked past our capacity and instead of being normal and just cancelling some people even if it meant losing money this man instead started pulling tables out of his arse and creating new seating areas (anyone who's worked in hopitality knows you Cant Just Do That least of all DURING the busiest night of the year). naturally we had a shit ton of customers complaing about being too squidged together and who got to deal with it? THE FLOOR STAFF i hate everything

same manager same night kept snapping at all of us im still furious about this okay basically i was working a 10 hour shift and at 6pm there's a shift change, so we all tend to move sections and when you've been working the same (shit) section for 6 hours this is a GODSEND. so i got moved from my least favourite section to my favourite section and there's always a bit of a scramble around the shift change bc we're all picking up where someone else left off so it's where MOST of the mistakes happen. this happens daily to every single waitress no matter how experienced. and do you know what i had the nerve to do? i forgot to give this one couple their menus. literally they had not sat for even 5 minutes and were waiting on drinks anyway and my manager STORMS over like 'why havent window 1 got menus' and i immediately was on it like 'oh shit sorry ive just taken their drinks order ill bring them now'. this utter CUNT walked off bc he cant handle actual confronation and the next thing i know one of the supervisors comes over like 'we need you running food so me and you are gonna swap'. and im here like 'okay. weird. i hate running food so this is less than ideal but i cant argue'. i find out from the other supervisor (bc waitresses are GOSSIPS i was always going to find out) that my manager apparently swanned down to them like '[redacted] cant handle her section i need one of you to take over she's in another world' HELLO???????? count ur fucking days

did u know the holiday period actually makes customers ruder. did u know that. did u know the season of joy and giving ends the moment u step into a pub. because i know that now

there should be a law that ur not allowed to flirt with someone who's working. like maybe an exception if they start it first and you just reciprocate but aside that if they're on the clock in a job where customer service demands they be nice to you then DONT FUCKING FLIRT WITH THEM my god i could kill you. one man literally tried to set me up with his son when i was trying to just take a drinks order and that was one of the TAME examples

the bar staff kept clocking off before me and purposely sitting on tables closest to my screen to drink just so they could brag. psychological warfare im telling you

[isaacathom]

my thing is that im now just imagining the multiverse of florians based on three flex points in his life, and its like. what am i meant to do with this (ramble, clearly)

so there's three things that make Florian de Kasimir who he is, at a base level, at the start of the campaign. These are: The Incident in his youth, his father's debts, and his decision to join the Temerian army. so, what happens when you take the diverging paths at each point?

the most interesting alternate florian, to me, is one unburdened by the incident or the debts, but who still joins the army. This is a Florian who has no reason to especially dislike his family, who has been raised and loved as best his parents are able, who continued his education but did not excel, who was not prevented from entering the high life of nobility. This is a Florian who, given he's 34 at the campaigns start, almost certainly is married, and who more than likely has a child, if not children. This is a Florian with serious, genuine ties to his home and his family. A Florian who could never have been in the campaign as written, because the moment he found out about the war he would have returned home. Instantaneous. Hell, canon Florian only joined the campaign's quest because he wanted money - with the debt not a factor, there's no reason that the NNY Florian would have any reason to do so.

The tragedy of NNY Florian to me is that he was certainly in the Temerian army during the third northern war, and given that Florian's from Temeria's south... well... The likelihood that he survived the crushing defeats Temeria suffered under Nilfgaard in those opening weeks is low. This is a Florian probably as happy as he could be, multiversally. A Florian who has seen suffering, but has plenty of joy to propel him forward, rather than spite. And he would predecease YYY Florian.

So, i guess run down:

YYY Florian - Canonical. Had the incident, had the debts, joined the army. No loyalty to his home beyond the abstract, joined the party on the promise of an extravagant payday, decided not to return to Temeria when he found out about the war bc he knew that would get him killed immediately.

YYN Florian - incident, debts, not in the army. I have no fucking idea who this cunt is. Given Florian's upbringing, the diversion required for this one to not join the army is significant. Depressingly, I assume this Florian was one who suffered a serious injury before he could enlist, and is therefore... not doing... great... this is i think the closest we can get to a 'Bad Timeline' Florian, emotionally.

YNY Florian - incident, no debt, army. The lack of debts is not quite so significant (since canonically they've become irrelevant), but it would change his post-2nd war life a decent bit. Possibly he even completely quits the place, as canon florian would consider the existence of those debts the main thing shackling him to his family. So, sans debts, Florian might just peace fully the fuck out. Fuck off up north, even, completely dissociate from all the shit. Just invent himself a new life now that he doesn't feel like he has to save any of his money for dealing with debts that will, hereditarily, become his responsibility.

YNN Florian - incident, no debt, no army. ???? who is this man. whats he doing. all the non-army florians confuse me because his physical ability and prowess is like. his thing. its what he has going for him. for the sake of distinguishing YNN from YYN, we'll say that while he also suffered an injury which prevents him from being a soldier, the fact his family aren't skint broke means there's the option to find him SOMETHING to do despite that? some nigh-do nothing job working for some other noble. an irrelevant man, by all accounts, just quietly hobbling around a duke's estate carrying out menial tasks. When that duke or whatever inevitably gets steamrolled by Nilfgaard, Florian probably just keeps working because ? what's he gonna do. can my boy cook? we must ask these questins

NYY Florian - No incident, yes debt, yes army. Now the key different here is that this Florian is decently educated and *not an bastard*. He's nice enough, jovial even if you catch him in a good mood, and he likely volunteered for the army with the intent of earning money to pay off the debts as the primary motive. The debts reduce the marriage prospects, so he's not married, but DOES care about his family (more than YYY, anyway). This connection prevents him from fucking off up north when the 2nd war ends, but he likely still ends up doing mercenary work to cover for ~things~. Likely still in Temeria when the war breaks out though.

NYN Florian - no incident, yes debt, no army. Now, because the N-- series Florian's aren't bitter jaded assholes as a general rule, and were continuously educated into their teens, this means that the N-N ones have options of finding alternate employ. Instead of volunteering for the army as NYY, this Florian may find himself in a similar employ to YNN, just in a more 'this is a way of paying of the debt' way. indentured servitude-y vibes? this may actually go better for florian in the long run because that situation probably bothers the fuck out of him, so when nilfgaard storms in hes like 'hey nilfgaards whats up. we can be chill' because the loyalty isn't quiiiite there.

NNY Florian - no incident, no debt, yes army. the lovingly married man from earlier. Joined the army to defend his family, is still in the army now, and the nilfgaardian invasion has not gone well for him, i can tell you that.

NNN Florian - no incident, no debt, no army. who the fuck is this man. who are you. are you real? is this even still a florian de kasimir at this stage. is this a misnomer. i genuinely have no idea. best outcome for this guy is he's just like NNY except the angle he takes of 'defend his family' is more... political? and that, in the absence of any combat prowess (some injury in his teenage years, we'll say), when presented with the nilfgaardian army, he's like 'hey. how about you don't kill me or my family and we just chill?'. nilfgaardian collaborator. not sure he's happy, per se, and the fact some of his cousins are in the army doesn't help that, but like. sure. alternatively instead of collaborating he flees with them up north? both are options. the nilfgaard collaborator one's the funniest in the overall context of Florian as a canon character because he *hates* nilfgaard. so the idea that 2-3 versions of him are either nominally onside or fully onside is funny.

vibes!

[ets-intrests]

Fun photos from a road trip + San Antonio Spacecon with my girlfriend under the cut!!!

[wolfskinmask]

i just think it is abundantly easy to research and expand your tastes nowadays that if you're actually interested in it you can do so. no i won't be taking questions either.

[ayyyyysexual]

Tumblr on the Seven Seas

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow

Can we stop all normalising the use of "sc*rvy" as a fun little thing to call people?? I literally had sc*rvy last year and it was even worse than when I got my hand cut off. Fuck anyone who uses the S word without even considering how triggering it can be to those of us who have ACTUALLY suffered though it

🌅 castedaway Follow

No wenches?

🏴‍☠️ white-beard Follow

Honestly you people are so insufferable I genuinely hope you walk the plank

🌅 castedaway Follow

AHOY???

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

Okay but OP is literally a landlubber, mateys

🌴 pegmeg

nahhh why is it literally always landlubbers faking scurvy and sending plank threats ☠☠

768 notes

🗡wagscallion Follow

everyone says "land ho!" but never "land ma'am"

💨 matelotsaboteur

Really makes you think

2,041 notes

💃 crossdressing101 Follow

this whole crew was so gullible ngl, i just cut my hair and dressed in my fathers clothes and they all fell for it, hook line and sinker??

💃 crossdressing101 Follow

honestly im surprised no one has found me out yet. surely i dont seem that much like a man? i mean it makes this way easier but like. im still a woman. obviously

🕺 crossdressing101 Follow

mateys i have come to a shocking realisation,

34 notes

⛵ privatesteer Follow

wildest argument for piracy i've ever heard was that the gold stored on government ships is dangerous cause it weighs them down, so they're just 'lightening the load'

🧜‍♀️ kiss-pretty-ocean324 Follow

աaռռa ʟɨֆȶɛռ ȶօ ֆɨʀɛռ ֆօռɢ?

⛵ privatesteer Follow

no thanks

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

🕶 monstermaterdeactivated16520210

i have drowned at sea

36,251 notes

⚓ shiveringtimbers Follow

14,811 notes

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow

i am SO sick of the term "ship-shape" like, matey, which shape?? Ships come in so many fucking shapes like have non of you ever boarded more than one vessel in your career???? Anyway fake ship fans DNI with this post i can NOT be bothered with your tomfuckery today

💦 longjohngolder Follow

girl its not that deep ☠

🌏 boat-enthusiast Follow

to YOU. i just get it

1,147 notes

🙍‍♂️ dudeindistress Follow

honestly being held for ransom isnt that bad. kinda nice to be held

4,733 notes

🦜 pollypockets Follow

SQUAWK

🐦 aviated Follow

CAW SQUAWK SQUAWK

🦜 pollypockets Follow

CA-CAW

790 notes

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

the cabin boy just winked at me?? after offering to help clean my gun? privately. in my quarters. tonight.

🍑 plundermebooty Follow

i think i hauve scurvy

142 notes

🌊 swabmydick Follow

mateys I SWEARR my captain and his first mate are gonna kiss before our next voyage. they literally have so much romantic tension every time i see them its nauseating

🕶 longjohngolderdeactivated16511205

wtf its so problematic and harmful to ship real people?? unfollowing rn i thought you were better than this

🌊 swabmydick Follow

i literally rob and kill people for a living?????? that's where you draw the line???

🌴 pegmeg

op killed them

🌊 swabmydick Follow

even better news mateys, they kissed ☠☠☠

96,538 notes

[viiioca]

i love heavensward: a series of bulletin points

your last ally in all the city-states is an elf who would unironically lick the sweat from your armpits in front of the entire congregation. he begs his dad to let you couch surf. one of his brothers admits to your face that he wished you would die

two members of the swiss guard arrest your children so you punch them in the neck until the judge says you're free to go. the pope personally calls you to apologize for the trouble

ilberd tries and fails to hotbox you to death

a hot elf wife takes you on vacation to a nest full of cool bugs

anytime there's a serious moment estinien challenges the tone of the scene by pulling a giant novelty eyeball out of his pants which is played 100% straight every single time. not a single soul questions this or reacts in surprise

the prettiest elf in the world gets arrested trying to yell at his dad

Occupy The Vatican Right Fucking Now!!!!

the pope stances on the deck of an airship and flies away into the sunset after his eunuch traumatizes you

the emperor of garlemald shows up to call you a dipshit, leaves, and then you don't see him personally again for 1.5 expansion packs

we summon a naked catgirl and the first thing tataru does is give her a pair of louboutins and put a bow on her little kitty tail. she is the most deadly serious person in the entire organization

you take a quick detour to visit the angriest woman who's ever lived who calls you and everyone you're with a pointless dumbfuck moron shit idiot (affectionate). then she gives you a gun she invented that sharlayan banned for being too cool

theres a flying allagan war crimes factory full of broken robots who think you're stupid. an entire legion of garleans are abandoned here to form a feral colony with the escaped lab animals. the robots make fun of them

the dad of all the dragons on the whole planet calls you his favorite in front of his real child who he hasnt talked to in 4000 years

an evil wizard tries to get revenge on you for killing his cousin but the pope loads his soul into a bong and takes the fattest rip. the next time you meet him you mostly learn about how much his wife bullied him

estinien picks up a second eyeball. surprise development!: there is an angry dragon ghost living in the eyeballs

thancred gets punched in the face

you watch two dragon brothers fight because one called the other's dead wife a foul and trifling hoe

you save your friend through the power of friendship, and littering. as soon as he feels better he jumps out of a window and doesnt talk to you for two years

the guy from the box art wont stop trying to kill you because he is actually john videogames: astral traveler

after 15 hours of wondering what happened to all the scions and learning just the ones you've been able to FIND were flung into the afterlife, you discover lyse and papalymo are fine. they werent even hurt. they have been playing desert dress up with the ala mhigans while youve been freezing your pussy off trying to end a multigenerational religious war with the dragons and depose a corrupt head of state. they tried to send one letter and then gave up

the consequences of littering catch up with you. in eorzea, the fine is $Giant Dragon

[ervotica]

Imagine this: youre in college, and after all those boring classes you come to your job at the donaldsons that includes riding him in the couch for as long as your legs allow you.

Tashi just coming home to thats sight and just making herself a afternoon drink unbotherd.

Dbsnhxhsb

omg shut up???🥲

warnings; all smut not much plot, older!art, so much potential for this series aghhh

a/n; art is an ear freak i literally feel it in my balls he loves it when u suck on them ears (he did it to tashi so he likes doing it to others too <3)

the front door clicks and you wander through, in this teensy little white tennis dress that art told - no, commanded - you to wear when you came to work. the dress that shows the strain of your hard nipples through the fabric, swollen into points like diamonds, the one that slips upward and reveals the perky swells of your ass, the barely covered seam of your pussy when you trounce up to him, chirruping nonsense and smiling at him like he’s the only man in the world.

he murmurs something indiscernible - a pleased noise that reverberates at the back of his throat - and you lean over the back of the couch, sliding your manicured fingers across the expanse of his chest, chin tucked to his neck.

“hi.”

“hi, baby,” he murmurs in that low, rasping way that turns your insides molten.

fast forward no more than ten minutes, and you’re both bare, art’s thick fingers curled round your waist as he uses you as a fleshlight, lifting you up and down like a ragdoll and watching, entranced, as your cunt flares and parts for his thick cock; you sob and babble, slumped forward against his chest, nails digging into porcelain skin, teeth scraping along art’s cheekbone.

“i know, baby. i know,” he grunts, and you’ve never heard a sound like it. your cunt clenches, a soft silk wrap around his cock, and he’s turning his head to suck at the corner of your mouth, all spit and drool and tongue, so much of it that it drips from your chin, globs of it pooling between your tits.

the front door clicks and you’re both too lost in each other to care as tashi comes through the living room and enters the kitchen; art hooks one of his huge hands under the crease of your knee, lifting your leg until it’s draped over his forearm, bracing his feet against the leather of the couch as he jackrabbits up into you. you make a sound somewhere between a moan and a scream, and then tashi’s figure is crossing by you once more, drink in hand, lithe fingers nudging at your jaw to examine your expression. she bends at the waist, pinches your pert little nipple and rolls the bud between her fingertips, and smirks - fucking smirks - as your pussy clamps down on him like a vice; art lets out a stuttered breath, pulls you down onto him, and cums on the spot.

neither of you quit writhing against each other; he has at least another load in him, cock already chubbing back up encased in your spasming walls, no doubt an angry red and drooling precum. tashi settles herself on the armchair opposite you, already disinterestedly flicking through tv channels.

“want my mouth on you,” you whisper, face pressed just below his jaw, breathing hot air onto his neck.

“in a minute, baby,” he supplicates, grunting as he sheathes himself further into your tight warmth, balls heavy and swollen and slapping against your ass with every filthy rock of his hips.

tashi crosses one leg over the other, the picture of boredom, and says, “bite his ear. he loves that shit.”

you do just that, teeth rolling over his lobe as you suck the sensitive skin into your mouth.

he almost cums again, hands sliding up and over your back to still your movements so he doesn’t blow his load right there.

oh, tashi’s going to have fun with you. mould you into a perfect little toy for her husband, take some of his intense, fervent pining off of her, let you be the center of his world so she can focus on improving his game.

she might even keep you if you’re lucky.