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29. A Portrait of Adelaide

Welcome to my mini Adelaide gallery. Here are some of my favourite shots and moments on my recent trip. It was difficult to choose a theme to focus on for this experience - solo traveling and loneliness; wayfinding, legibility and bus rapid transit; small towns, crystals and cappuccinos - the list goes on. I ultimately settled the takeaway from my trip was the theme of creation. From the emerging baby animals and astounding local art, inspiration was in the air and Spring with it.

I will say though, there are so many benefits to traveling in the off season. Australia in August is more lush and approachable without the heat. My tour groups were  small and I was able to accomplish everything on my list (and more!). South Australia has a lot to offer and I can’t wait to go back!

Remarkable Rocks, 2018.

The Remarkable Rocks on Kangaroo Island are a 1.5h drive from Adelaide’s CBD. A granite formation on an island mostly made from limestone and crusted sand dunes, the rocks are a remarkable anomaly. Created under immense pressure, the site is a massive, natural-made playground. There was a lot of joy (and danger) walking among these rocks on the top of a sheer cliff. Just don’t get thrown over by a selfie stick.

Sea lions, Seal Bay, 2018.

Sea lions are adorable with their golf balls sized eyes and long whiskers. Easy to see why they’re nicknamed sea dogs, they love sleep and lounging. They are awkward on land, but can run faster than we can if they want to. This particular colony of sea lions is endangered and heavily protected. Their population continues to shrink at 1-2% per year due to heavily polluted waters, fishing industries and a long gestation period. Mum and pup above, a group of females having a lie-in below.

Koala & baby, Hanson Bay Sanctuary, 2018.

Taken at one of the few places where you can consistently see wild koalas on Kangaroo island. These little guys love living at the very tops of trees (I have many photos of blurry, furry, sleeping bums) which makes them difficult to see. Koalas eat eucalyptus, and sleep for 22 hours a day so it was pretty lucky this mum and baby were active when the tour was there.

Two-bit Villains , Adelaide Arcade, 2018.

Sitting in the former ballroom of this historic arcade, the ambiance was interesting to say the least. My journal notes, “I can’t help thinking, maybe the millennials aren’t blameless after all. This soda shoppe has opted for full-on hipster, complete with old typewriter, golf lawn flooring and wicker furniture. I’m sitting between an old radio, records, and tiki torches. At least the owners aren’t trying to take themselves too seriously in this grand old ballroom.” It was so tacky what they made of it. Amazing cream soda though.

Adelaide Sunset, 2018.

Taken from my hotel room, beautiful pastel clouds on my last day in Adelaide, creation in its final moments.

Glenelg Memorial, 2018.

This pavilion and square were beautiful. Adelaide could set records for its cleanliness and amazing beaches. So many people were out enjoying the water (and rowing!) along with dogs and families lounging on the pier.

Adelaide has a population of around 1.3 million people. Traffic was really light and it was straightforward to get around on public transit, minus the lack of advertising for the free bus loop. You can reach Glenelg from Adelaide on the only remaining tram line in the city, making it easy and accessible.

Waterfall Gully to Mt Lofty Summit Hike, 2.1km in, 2018.

This was one rewarding and hard hike. It didn’t help that I walked to the base of the mountain before the actual hike (7.5km already), so it was one hell of a workout. The small bump on the hill is a tiny lighthouse, which was my final destination. This hike took me 2.5 hours roughly with all my pauses, and I took a bus on the way down haha. I was proud of myself at the summit.

In total, I walked 27km over the course of two days. I wore my new balance running shoes (not sponsored) and they were slippery on the hills and tough incline. My hat goes off to the mountain goat seniors who were practically skipping ahead of me on the trail. Also don’t fuss about carrying too much water, you’re gonna need it.

Selfies, 2018.

I traveled by myself so I took my own photo thanks.

Admiral’s Arch, 2018.

One last shot of Kangaroo Island. I took a day trip and saw all the highlights in the same day. As a single person, this was ideal because I didn’t have to hire a car and still got to see everything. I could see this tour being stretched out for two days for sure, but this worked for me.

I also did a wine tour of the Barossa valley (no question why there aren’t good photos from that day) and I’d recommend staying in the valley and doing a hop-on, hop-off tour up there. I had never done bus tours before, let alone bus tours by myself, so two one-day tours were a good place to start for me. I also did a fair bit of exploring in the city, in North Adelaide, Norwood, Rundle St East and the Entertainment area.

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8. The First Eleven Days

I was perusing pictures and realized I've gotten in pretty deep in the world's most liveable city. Check out below for the top 10 free things to do in Melbourne!

1. Gallery hop

Check! I've seen a couple of indie galleries and there's definitely more on my list, including the Australian Center for the Moving Image (ACMI) with their VR tech. I was lucky enough to go to the Dior exhibit at the National Gallery of Victoria (NVG).

I'd also say the State Library exhibition about Ned Kelly and the founding of Victoria and Melbourne were pretty cool too. Lots of important context about Indigenous peoples and the cultural heritage in Australia.

2. Rooftop views

Anyone who knows me also is probably aware I'm not keen on heights. But I held my breath and stepped out on the Melbourne Star Observation Wheel, one of only four in the world.

I still outwardly groan looking at this.

Also getting on wasn't free, shame.

3. Alleyways for days

Ouu public art! Loads everywhere, but the best instagram spots are the alleyways for sure. I took a sunny early morning stroll and saw many photoshoots in session. Some areas are commissioned, some more organic.

Oh hey laneway.

4. St. Kilda

Though it's still spring in Melbourne, St. Kilda is a trendy area and a quick getaway from the city by tram. Eclectic buzz of bars and restaurants, people love easy access to the beach.

A coooold day in St. Kilda. I've been since but need more photos.

5. Fitzroy

Fitzroy stole my heart from the first time I walked through the area. Cool as a movie set and just as raucous, this neighbourhood is where I wanna be.

Any good bar pics of Fitz? No? Okay then.

6. Royal Botanical Gardens

Putting Allan Gardens in Toronto to shame, and almost giving Central park a run for its money all on its own, the Royal Botanical Gardens is immense and delicate. Amazing views, paths, cafes, and even a couple of gondalas to keep you going between the tiny islands, this is a gem near the heart of the city.

I wanna be here all the time.

7. State Library of Victoria

Not to be confused with the State Library of British Columbia, the State Library of Victoria is an jaw-dropping, thought-provoking place to spend an hour or day in. I've been back twice.

Did you know there's little green bankers lamps in heaven?

8. Churches

Lots and lots of beautiful old churches here. One of my favourites has actually been converted in East Melbourne. The St Patrick's Cathedral is also beautiful.

There's residential uses in here!

9. The Shrine of Remembrance

I'm not gonna lie, the first time I came here, I may have teared up a little bit. I was a little overwhelmed at the scale and location of this memorial. It sits atop a large hill for better visibility along a major avenue. There's also a Cenotaph to the immediate right of the shrine.

I'm not crying, you just hit me with a selfie stick.

10. Yarra River

This one's personal for me, but I love walking near water. There's also a bunch of rowing clubs right on the river and it's great watching them go by, navigating some very challenging obstacles (namely, black swans, bridges, and tourist boats).

Let it run!

That's all I can say about Melbourne for now. There's lots more to eat, shop, say and do, but I think that's a good start.

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25. Reasons to wash your fruit

So you’ve been feeling guilty, finally went to the store and bought some produce. Good on ya. Maybe you saw someone’s instagram post of their brunch overflowing with berries, or read up on the benefits of kale and swiss chard and caved. Either way, you’re sitting there scratching your head about how to eat all this fresh food before it’s too late. Well, hopefully you heed my advice in this listicle and always, always take a second to wash your fruit and veg before you eat it. Based on my own experiences working in a food warehouse, here are ten key reasons the very least you could do is run your fruit and veg under some cold water first before diving in. Seriously, it’s the bare minimum.

1. We don’t wash our hands.

This one is workplace specific. If a warehouse values quality control, they’ll pay their workers the time it takes to wash their hands before the start of their shift and after eating breaks. Some places do require hand washing, even changing hairnets and gloves each time you leave the work station. But mine doesn’t, and with exception of a couple of “employees must wash their hands before returning to work” signs, it’s not enforced. Hopefully workers are also wearing gloves, but skip to #6 if you’re leaning in to this one.

On a greater scale, the picker who took that fruit off the tree likely wasn’t near a washroom the whole day. Just think about that for a sec. I’ll leave the rest to you.

2. Your perfect pear was beside a rotten one.

When your perfect pear gets picked off the tree, it’s immediately out into a bag and then a larger crate with all the other pears. That means all pears, small, large, bug bitten, and rotting are all up in each other for long periods of time. For those that remember biology, fruits give off gases that help ripen the bunch. This is helpful for the ecosystem in your fruit bowl, but in reality, I see so many rotten and maggotty pears they’re no longer fruit. So your perfect pear is probably covered in rotten pear bacteria. It’s mouldy blue and gross.

3. It was frozen.

All fruit that’s not in season but somehow still sitting in your local grocery store was frozen. Sorry for the surprise! Yeah, it might not look or feel like it, but the majority of the pears I’m now working on are straight out of the freezer. Sometimes fruit is frozen again after for easier transport. But anyway, the fruit is coated in a special coloured preservative before being locked away for months before being sorted for an order. And yes, it can affect taste and texture. Mmmmmm.

4. We use pesticides on everything.

Part of the packing process is giving all fruit a chlorine-pesticide rinse before they go out for shipping. This helps prevent fruit fly infestations and wipes away low level surface dirt. Fruit also needs to be washed at certain pH markers for it to be considered safe for consumption, and adding acids help with that.

5. Food contamination

Part of the “washing hands” food safety thing is reducing chances for food contamination, among other things. So if I have peanut butter or eat something with lactose in it for lunch and properly wash my hands, I’m not triggering an allergic reaction for someone around the world, or introducing new bacteria into another ecosystem far far away. Environmental contamination prevention is why we have to careful about taking leaves off on some orders. But again, it’s not always enforced. Food contamination is the same reason why we can’t wear strong perfumes and deodorants to work. Do people do it anyway? Of course they do.

6. We sometimes don’t get gloves anyway.

I got a pair of latex-free gloves my first day, threw them out at 5pm thinking we’d get new ones for the next shift. I was never given a new pair. I’ve bought my own gloves since then, but most people are wearing the same disposable gloves every day. Enough said on that.

7. Spiders and creepy crawlies

For the arachnophobes and bug haters, you can’t control what may have crawled on your fruit prior to it being picked. Pollinators come in all shapes and sizes, but if the thought gives you chills, just wash your fruit.

8. Fruit & veg aren’t that clean to begin with.

Gotta love fruit, it’s a product of the earth and the tree that bore it. It was exposed to rain and wind and good dirt. Sometimes the fruit comes down the conveyor belt still smelling like manure and compost. Can’t complain too much on this one - it’s the most obvious non-industrial reason to always wash your fruit and veg. Good dirt begone!

9. Machine’s not that clean either.

The machines that handle your fruit and veg aren’t scrubbed down to their core at the end of the work day. My workplace gets pretty close and personal with the cleaning but there’s no way every part of the machine is entirely hygienic.

Also remember #4 about how we use pesticides to control pH? Yeah, the tank where pH is tested and where all the pears are dumped in before being packed is only emptied once a day. So the pears at the end of the day are in the dirty bathtub water of aaaaallllll the other pears. Yummy right?

10. Fruit is handled by a lot of people.

A lot of people are behind the fruit and veg you see at the grocery store. Everything you see has been vetted, selected and ordered for that store and price point. So while not every fruit you see in the store is ‘perfect’ there are lots more that never make it to the shelves for cosmetic reasons.

Some of the people that definitely have touched your fruit and veg before you are the fruit pickers, two tiers of packers, quality controllers, and the people who actually pack the shelves. That doesn’t take into account the entire chain of production, but at minimum three or four people have touched each item before you did. So wash your fruit and veg folks.

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24. Purpose

One good thing about my job is the endless hours give you a lot of time to think. When I was sifting through hundreds of wet pears the other day, I spent most of my shift thinking about purpose. As my lovely coworker Julie constantly reminds me, you’ve got to remember why you’re doing this because otherwise, she grimly says, you might not make it.

My current job is to push pears on a conveyor belt half a foot forward and to make sure the machine doesn’t jam approximately every forty seconds for ten hours a day. I also pick out the rotten, squishy, bug bitten pears. I see pears the size of cherry tomatoes, sweet potatoes, and as round as oranges. They can be white, orange, red and brown, but all of them smell like chlorine. Needless to say, it’s also very, very repetitive.

Julie’s mantra has me thinking. My purpose right now is to get my visa for another year in Australia. Every morning when I wake up, my purpose is to get ready for work so I can succeed. I practice this every day by eating good food, laughing, listening to music, making an effort to talk to friends and fam at all hours of the day. My world at this packing shed is very small, and it’s worth mining all the good out of this experience so I make it through the next two months.

And I can do it. Saving up, planning my next adventure. Making an effort to maintain the friendships in my life, be creative.

When I decided to come to Australia, I told myself I had a year to figure out exactly what the hell I wanted to do with my degree and my career. The question “what is my purpose?” daunted me. I thought pressing pause on my life and moving around the world might help. But with each passing week in Oz, I panicked. I still hadn’t decided what I wanted to do and I wasn’t making any personal progress on why I came here.

Until the lovely Julie started saying several times a day, remember why you’re doing this. And I was left alone uninterrupted for hours afterward. Remember why you’re here.

What’s your purpose? The visa. With the added joy of saving lots of money. For Ryan. For the experience to travel, to give yourself time. For the visa. For the visa.

By the time I graduated last May, I was on autopilot. I was fed up with planning and school. My Grandpa passed away as soon as I started my job back at the city. I was miserable and had no motivation about anything really in my life. All I had going on just sort of ended.

My life right now isn’t like that. My current job forces me to put one foot in front of the other. At the end of the day, I’m mentally able to walk away from work and focus on the next thing, which is a big improvement over my other jobs that left me a giant ball of stress. Now, I can focus on myself.

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23. Farm work

Perks about farm work and living in the country:

Fresh air

Simple accommodation & simple lifestyle - the ultimate in minimalism and self care

Stars 🌟

No sucking up to middle management

$$$

Lots of time to think and reflect on things

Close to everything in a ten minute drive, (if I had a car)

Downsides to farm work :

Long hours and tired body

Limited internet and entertainment

Literally no privacy or space to make a phone call

Loud, wet workplace

Can't be a minute late ⏲️

Communal everything

Having to go to bed early (night 🦉)

Don't have a car

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22. Tasmania

I’ll admit, in my previous post I did a little Australia bashing over the whole farm work thing. For this entry though, I want to focus on my recent trip to Tasmania and how much I loved the whole experience. There are so many things to see, do, and eat, I could definitely see myself going back for another trip.

Remarkable cave - outline creates the same shape as the state.

Tasmania is the island state off of the southern coast of Australia. It’s a small place, with the capital Hobart home to just around 522 000 people. It reminded me a lot of home with its beautiful scenic landscapes, friendly people, and four season climate. Almost 42% of the state is protected, meaning there’s a lot of untouched forests and tons of animals, with large conservation signs for the Tasmanian devil.

I went to Tassie over Easter and it was an excellent time of year to go. The weather was warm but not too hot, and it only rained in the mornings when we were driving from place to place. I went with Ryan and he was happy to do the driving. The roads we used were paved, and the highway system was relatively easy to navigate with offline google maps. Hobart does have many one way streets, so that part was tricky, but otherwise he did a remarkable job (even with me squeaking in alarm in the passenger seat beside him.) The drives in Tasmania were fairly short distances, max five hours on the day from Hobart to Launceston with the stop in Wineglass Bay. The ride was so pretty, I’d go so far to say it gives Great Ocean Road a run for its money.

We flew from Melbourne into Hobart, were we spent the first three nights. The first evening we checked in and walked where the Salamanca market normally takes place. We walked around Battery Point, a very pretty and historic neighbourhood near the water where I had an excellent cup of tea at a cafe and he had a meat pie. We also walked constitution pier where all the fisherman line up their boats filled with woven baskets.

Constitution pier, wicker baskets.

The next day, we picked up the car and drove to Port Arthur. Port Arthur historic site was an open air penitentiary for convicts who had reoffended in the new colony in the 1880s. Today the buildings that remain on the site are mostly in ruins. We went on a free walking tour to get started to know what we were looking at. There was a library for rehabilitation, a church (first thing to be built), foundations of the officers buildings, and cottages for the big wigs. Port Arthur was built and led by convicts, who stripped lumber, made boats, cooked, and provided for themselves. There was a pecking order of jobs for the best to worst behaved convicts, and even a separate jail for those that reoffended again. Many men returned to Port Arthur several times throughout their lives, but others were able to learn a new trade and live a far more productive life than in the UK. It was a very interesting piece of history in Tasmania and for Australia.

Port Arthur, looking from pier.

Port Arthur also didn’t have any walls. It had a quiet, sheltered bay with a single road traveling in and out with an infamous dog line to alert guards of escapees. The surrounding landscape was uninhabited, and many convicts gave up trying to survive in the bush after several days. One somewhat successful attempt was a rowing crew who managed to escape to New South Wales, north of Sydney, but they were recaptured four months later. Another convict escaped twice by swimming, but again was caught. The most devastating and powerful stories were around the place were the two islands in the bay - the smaller island was a cemetery. Both convicts and free men were buried there, and apart from some small stone headstones sneaking through the trees, it could easily be missed. The second island was a penitentiary for children - young boys who were separated from the adults in Port Arthur, but made to serve out a sentence. Apparently it’s due more to this island that the place was designated a world heritage site.

Port Arthur was the site of the only mass shooting in Australia in 1996. There is a memorial garden paying tribute to the people who lost their lives there. In that sense, Port Arthur is important for its historic and modern presence in Australia’s culture.

After Port Arthur and the Remarkable Cave, Ryan and I began the climb (literal) up the lookout at Mount Wellington. This was a narrow, winding road with a sheer drop off on the side (cue the squeaking). The lookout had an amazing view over the entire city of Hobart. It was also quite windy and cold from the climate below.

The next day, we went to Bruny Island via the ferry. Ryan had never driven onto a ferry before, but the ride and the island reminded me of Prince Edward County. Getting off the ferry, we drove straight to Bruny island cheese Factory for a cheese plate and a cappuccino. We then went past the Neck Lookout and picked up some delicious fudge at the chocolate factory. Tracing our steps back to the lookout, we climbed the perilous stairs and took in the view. Would recommend giving Bruny Island place a night of its own! It’s a beautiful place for a drive or camp in summer I imagine. That evening I wasn’t feeling well, so we picked up some spicy Malasiyan and some small gifts, swam, and got groceries.

The Truganni “neck” lookout.

To note:

The Neck lookout was named after Truganni, a local native woman who lived when the white colonizers arrived. After her sister and mother were kidnapped, her father disappeared, and her fiancé killed in front of her, she was made to work for the colonizers. She was raped repeatedly and eventually escaped to thwart the invaders. She was successful numerous times. As she grew older, she feared her body would be stolen and used for science, which is exactly what happened. Today, her body is on display in a museum in Europe, and has not been returned to her land.

Driving near Dunalley.

Friday was Good Friday, so we anticipated stores being closed. We drove to Freycinet National Park to go to iconic Wineglass Bay. I was underprepared - turns out you can’t drive up it, it’s a full on hike. After racing through 40 minutes of terrain, we made it to the lookout, filled with children and elderly people as we mopped our brows. Afterwards we had a yummy lunch of cheese, olives, sourdough bread, prosciutto and salami, and started on to Launceston.

Wineglass Bay.

I can say I didn’t have the opportunity to give Launceston a fair shot, but I really liked the parts I saw. By this point, aggravated by the sprint-walk, I was definitely feeling sick. I proceeded to sleep through most of the evening and much of the next day. We skipped out on the highly recommended brewery tour and banished thoughts on hiking Craddle mountain, which sounded lovely but simply wasn’t in the cards this time around.

Church on St. John street, Launceston.

Easter Sunday we went to Cataract Gorge for brunch. This unintentional but highly romantic spot was a good way to test I was feeling better and that tea should always be served with hot, not lukewarm water. Also, there were peacocks strutting around, and it was highly enjoyable watching people interact with them.

Cataract Gorge peacock.

Devonport was the smallest place we stayed. That night we ate Indian, and rose early the next day to catch the Spirit of Tasmania.

The spirit of Tasmania.

Now let me just say right off the bat I’m not an all-inclusive resort person. I tried it and it doesn’t work for me. I need to move around and see stuff, not engage in drinking as my primary activity. I’m fine for the first day or two, but then get bored beyond belief. In my mind, resorts and cruises are similar in that the activities are limited, but cruises are worse in that you can’t leave. The ten hour journey on the Spirit was quite enough for me. Other people might have enjoyed it with its movie theatre and slot machines, cafes and bars, but the Indian food wasn’t settling well and I tried my very best to sleep it all away.

Catching a quick cab we quietly rocked back into Melbourne, which felt like quite a large city by the time we got back. If I were me, I’d go back to Tasmania in a heartbeat.

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21. Old MacDonald

This whole ‘pick apples and we’ll give you another year’ scheme is nonsense. I want to stay another year in Australia, ergo I’m immediately inducted into a broken system that seems hellbent against reason.

I have to complete 88 days of farm work. It can be fruit picking, fruit packing, mining (actual digging), construction, tree planting, tree felling, working with farm animals (directly), and sometimes disaster relief. The gist is, it’s mostly seasonal work available in mostly rural areas. But not just rural, it's gotta be within a list of acceptable postcodes. This last part makes it tricky. So off to the county I go.

When I think of rural Victoria, I think of the whole state like a giant spiderweb. At its heart, Melbourne, a growing and bustling city. The father out you go, the smaller the nodes become. Civilization drags on and dwindles, stretching until its last, meager breath. Where I was today was actually a few notches above nothing. Definitely a far cry from a rural outpost. It’s got mom and pop shops, a strong retail market and decent transit. It’s even got the largest KFC I’ve seen in a while, probably former corporate real estate venture that dried up. And strangely, it thrives. It would be as if Brockville, Ontario were suddenly the place to be. Very different from what I was expecting.

So cut to my adventure today:

I woke up super early and got to Southern Cross station. I hopped on the train, which was actually quite easy to snooze in. Quick transition to a coach bus, and voila. I’m in Brockville - I mean, Shepparton.

A sweltering walk in hot jeans led me to today’s Mecca - MADEC. This part was exactly like I pictured, office-like, cheap, grey, supposedly cheerful seats. I was greeted and told to sit and wait for an intake form for work. Finally I felt as though I was brushing up against some sort of system - some structure I realized I sorely missed. I was asked and confirmed yes, I was a working holiday visa and yes I was looking for a second year.

I was whisked into a narrow hallway and asked for my passport. In the hallway. Not at the desk I just saw. After dropping and shuffling through my bags, my details were copied out (which could have been done online, I grumbled). I stood in the same hallway for a photo. This was for my madec card I learned. I was then told to sit through a (mediocre) recorded presentation on fruit picking.

When I first came in, a distant voice was droning on about not smoking near the workplace, which I dutifully tuned out. Don’t smoke, won’t, never will. But this was only the first bit. I was given an induction sheet, which turned out to be a multiple choice quiz to make sure you’re paying attention. The presentation was narrated by an Australian woman speaking very matter of factly about not pooping next to fruit trees (use washrooms provided whilst sitting correctly on toilet seat), the importance of hand washing (answer d) all of the above), and right of ways with tractors (they’ll crush you). Don’t get me wrong, it was important but presented in a bone-headed, ‘well duh’ sort of way.

Anyway the presentation barely covered a fraction of what the woman was saying, maybe three short bullet points for each topic. And it was shown on the screen in small font, in English, Chinese, and two other languages I couldn’t identify. Fairly straightforward for me, but I had concerns.

As a native English speaker, I could tell I had an immediate advantage over the other two young women also there for their induction. I was able to ask questions about why I was only given one farmer to text and set up my first day, where local backpackers and motels where, and could they please email or call me first if something was available (turns out it’s first come, first serve, best of luck. There is no wait list or other way to do this better, apparently.)

So I trekked three hours for a piece of plastic, one phone number, and a promise of employment hopefully within the week. Thanks Shepparton.

I’m very aware of how I sound. The blind confidence, the assurance that I could walk into a recruitment agency and walk out with more of a plan is laughable. Every step of this journey requires effort. I keep forgetting that. While questions and concerns are answered and dismissed online, in practice it’s much more difficult. Like when getting an apartment, getting a job, printing pictures, transportation - and getting farmwork. All it takes is getting out there and hitting the pavement and rolling with the punches. There’s an applicable mixed metaphor for my situation I’m sure. Until then.

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20. The Whitsundays

Customer Feedback Form: 2 days one nite aboard the Hammer sailing yacht

Rate the following out of ten, with ten being the highest score.

Boat presentation and cleanliness 5/10

Crew 7/10

Food 6/10

Adventures 9/10

Sleeping quarters -2/10

Would you recommend to a friend? Yes/No - Definitely Not™ this boat

General comments and recommendations

Overhead crew member call patron “actual b*tch” within earshot.

Bed above me was so low I kneed the guy in the back each time I turned over.

No shoes allowed !!!!!!! Fungus abound??

Grumpy crew member quoted as “tying knots to pass the time and avoid smoking more”

Charging $2.50 a water.

Party boat ensured bumping tunes 2k18

Beautiful breathtaking beaches

Spotted stingrays and plenty of fish (no dot com required)

Experience of a lifetime with my parents delivered in a backpacker package

A Little About You

Sex: female

Age: 22-26, 50+ and over

Nationality: frustrated I have to scroll down to ‘C’ every time

Dietary restrictions: more chocolate please

Swimming ability: Swim OK (actual response)

How did you get to Airlie Beach?

Plane/train/automobile/scooter

*Above is a satirical review of a recent boating adventure in the Whitsundays. Any similarities to persons or places fictional or fake are coincidental and completely unintended.*

Some maybe relevant pictures:

The mast and first blue sky, day one. We sailed until sunset and anchored in a small Bay under the stars for the night.

During one of our many rainy moments, we saw a rainbow! Full curve on the entrance to the Whitehaven beach.

Happy snap of Whitehaven beach, before everyone arrived for the day.

Gorgeous and grey skies with silica sand.

And that was the whitsundays!

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19. Burn

I'm writing this here partly as a confession and partly a warning to those wishing to hop on the nearest and most direct series of flights to come to Australia.

First I'll start off with the context. I wear sunscreen on my face almost every single day. I'm almost a proud owner of a large floppy sun hat. I'm hyper vigilant about wearing sunglasses to avoid squinting.

And I'd be lying if I said that was sufficient.

The sun in Australia is very strong. Regardless of my precautions and the jokes friends poke at me, I seem to be the one who's waking up in the middle of the night in agony.

Yesterday was Australia day. I had my hat, sunglasses (prescription and gag ones), and liberally applied sunscreen. Went in the water a couple of times, dried off, got water, listen to a podcast, relaxed.

Several hours later, my top of my foot started to hurt. We took it as a sign and headed back home.

I haven't been burnt this bad since I was a little girl.

There seems to be some shocking research suggesting every sunburn larger than a person's palm puts them at a greater risk of skin cancer. I already have family members who have been treated for skin cancer. And that's why this burn in particular, where the total surface area is about five of my palms, turns my stomach over.

The joke with my friends is I'm not a beach person. I get sand everywhere and with all the sunscreen I'm hot, sticky and uncomfortable. Going forward, I'm switching from a "not beach" person to a "can't beach" person. I can't keep putting myself through this much pain and wasting my week recovering. Lying on a beach isn't my ideal day off anyway.

Here are my new rules:

1. Don't go to the beach and lie in the sun for four hours.

That's it! Easy, right? Until it's not. Strong beach culture here. And I do want toearn to swim and surf and snorkel in the ocean. So then what? Here is the plan:

No longer than 2-3 hours at the beach, period

Hat all the time

T-shirt all the time (to purchase)

Drink plenty of water

Sunscreen (and reapplying, trying new brands)

Bring your own shade (dab)

Just not go.

It sucks my friends can get away with one sunscreen application and don't have to take as many precautions as me. But they aren't me. So here I am, burnt to a crisp on my feet, back, and legs. And it's not happening anymore.

Stay safe kids.

[lmrphoto]

11. The one with the 23 year old

The final exciting installment in which I interview the lovely people I'm living and traveling with for a year.

Name - Bianca Trelle

Age - 23 as of yesterday

Dream occupation - graphic designer (Editor's note: Bianca is v ambitious/ talented/empowered & would like to have her own company one day v soon)

But currently applying for - *laughs* my imaginary graphic design job. Could you work in a bar? I think so.

Why did you come to Australia? - I graduated, with no luck finding a job. Candelaria told about moving to Australia, and I thought, if I never do it now, I never would. (Candelaria takes a bow in the corner).

Happy birthday! Are you a birthday person - Yes. My phone has 57 notifications right now. My donut was so good, it was my breakfast this morning. (Note: the donut was Bianca's birthday cake. There was raw cookie dough on top + sprinkles).

What are your first impressions of Melbourne? Reminds me of the streets of Toronto and Paris, combined them, put them together and spat them back out.

What's your favourite thing to cook? - Pasta. Because it's comfort food and I'm Italian so.

What reminds you of home right now? - I feel nothing really reminds me of home yet.

What are your goals for this year? - Oh man.

Get a job.

Get an apartment.

Travel.

Vitamin D.

Live outside my comfort zone.

Go IN the water.

Take a picture with a Quokka. They smile, they're so cute aw.

And have fun.

What's one thing people don't know about you? - I don't know, I'm not sure. I'm gonna open up if I trust you so there's not much hidden.

Are you dressing up for Halloween? - If we're going out yes. Do you have a go-to costume? If I had to guess, a baby. Or something super nice easy like a cat. Maybe.

Go-to karaoke song? - there are several. And I am not ashamed. Pick one! My heart will go on..

Do you sing in awkward places? - the shower, the club, friends houses, nothing weird. The usual.

What do you think of the men in Australia? Oh my Lord. Heart eye emoji. I am dying hahaha.

Final thoughts or impressions - I've never been interviewed before so this is fun. *Slurp sound*

What's with the rain Geller? - Bianca, about Melbourne weather.

[lmrphoto]

14. Sweet Dreams in Carlton

So guys, we did it! As a collective, we moved into our little apartment on Lygon street. I’ve waited to post this to give a full review of the experience.

As anyone who has ventured out of their parents’ basement for any length of time (Millennials, amirite?), moving out is a drag on your time, wallet, and patience. For us in particular, we had about two suitcases each, plus groceries and other miscellaneous bags we’d already managed to accumulate. Not so bad, until the morning arrived to head out from Flinders Backpackers. 

We turned the key at our new place after much negotiation with lifts, UberXL, and two flights of stairs to our own Snapchatted fanfair. The unit was dirty,  mouldy smelling, and I’ll admit now, sort of bleak. 

Our first act was to open all the doors and windows, shut the fridge door (not unplugged, so was slightly congealed) and hold a team meeting on the sofa. 

First, we needed to eat. Getting to the apartment with our stuff took much longer than anticipated. Next, a trip to Ikea or Kmart. We needed bedding, kitchen utensils, and perhaps most importantly, bleach and cleaning supplies. It would be a costly day for all of us. Lastly, we needed to take the rest of our remaining energy and pull a Mary Poppins to “Make it Work” (we’ve since started Project Runway).

With no internet or AC, we began. We had some cheeseburgers that would make Five Guys blush and set our sights on the giant K in the sky. Kmart turned out to be the best choice. We got a starter kitchen set, bedding, pillows, lamps, mugs, and a drying rack. Then we hopped across the mall for all the cleaning supplies, and crammed it into another Uber on the way back.

And then we scrubbed. Oh, we scrubbed. TLC would have been proud. The kitchen turned out to be a lighter colour and the bathroom was no longer a scene of a horror movie. We played the Grease soundtrack and attacked various surfaces to the melodies of “You’re the One that I Want” and “Beauty School Drop Out” with vim and vigor. 

We ate at University Cafe on Lygon for dinner and celebrated being free from our hostel. We were all a little exhausted, giggly from the trauma of constantly jockeying for sinks and lifts with 50 strangers for the past two months. We were free. Or so we thought.

Our unit came with some issues, most since resolved. It turns out, we don’t have AC, though we were told we did. The inside of our shower didn’t have a door handle. Two windows didn’t open, and a third had a possessed blind. ¾ of our oven burners don’t work (still) and there is no carbon monoxide detector.

What I can say though, is this: I never thought I would enjoy the prospect of turning a key in a lock to my own place more. I feel like we’re settled, we got this, and I’m already on to the next thing, which is:

14.1 Life without A/C

Some people have lived their entire lives without cool air passing over their bodies in their homes. To these people, I respect you tremendously. Having worked outdoors at a wading pool for several years, I knew I would adjust to the heat. But I also had the relief of being cool at the end of the day. Here, it’s hot all day, except on the days it pours. Or on days it’s only 20 degrees. Melbourne is weird. So instead of roasting in our apartment, I’ve devised a keep-cool strategy. It involves an outdoor pool, a library, some twine, and three rotating coffee-shops to lower our core body temperature.

Meanwhile, people in Canada freeze. How horribly appropriate to complain about heat. Better listen to Grease Lightnin’. 

[lmrphoto]

13. Road Trip

Over one wonderful week ago, we saddled up in a lil rented Toyota Corolla and drove for two straight days on the Great Ocean Road. What came out of that experience was the following:

Always pack more snacks then you need.

Drive on the right side. Buy the extra insurance.

See a seagull, SQUACK!

There must always be music playing, preferably 24/7 karaoke.

Don’t lose your room key to the hostel in the first ten minutes.

See kangaroos in the last ten minutes of the trip.

Belly laughs make everything better.

*whispers* koala-koala-koala-koala (gets out of car, no koala to be seen)

Don’t go to the $20 lighthouse. Buy beer instead.

Become much closer friends as a result.

[lmrphoto]

12. Jump!

Coming here I inadvertently began rubbing elbows with 'traveler types' - you know the ones. Those people with smiling pictures and dazzling landscapes and seemingly endless funds, who brag about their trips to Italy or Thailand and how cultured and adventurous they are. I've met German and English and Irish and Scottish and French and Spanish people. They all have those quick-dry towels, backpacks big enough for their whole lives and have a slightly sunburnt, manic, wide-eyed look to them. I find watching them in a new place is not unlike a fish returning to water. They have no qualms about starting over, meeting people, jumping in to new jobs and experiences, and being open to new opportunities. Being temporary.

I, however, am not this. I also did not miraculously transform in to one of these people by coming to Australia. I think nothing ruins a good picture more than a selfie. I also don't want to go through this year worried about likes on my posts and trying to appear happy when I'm not.

¶

What I've taken to realize is one of the greatest joys of my day is being alone. I woke up this morning and found an article on the New York Times. I read it all through breakfast at the table surrounded by others. Last week, I found another article about controversial performance art in China. I listen to podcasts. I like time to myself, time to think. There's immense pressure from living in a hostel. With so many people in one place, I've felt inspired to create almost every day I've been here. My ideas come in the shower, in bed, on walks, on the tram, and at the gym, after a workout, snacking on trail mix. That's where my joys are.

So why the crying? I'm missing out not taking the chances I'm seeing. While others jump like fish upstream, my feet remain firmly on the ground. So, how do you jump? Any ideas?

[lmrphoto]

10. Facts & Opinions

Have that grain of salt ready - some facts and opinions coming your way.

I’ve now been in Melbourne for twenty-one days. I have lived in a hostel for all of those days. I took and passed a course on how to serve alcohol responsibly. I laced up my ‘trainers’ and hit the ground running, applying online and in person for a bunch of jobs. I have shaken hands and sent many, many emails explaining how I’m a friendly Canadian looking to make connections. I also learned it’s very difficult to find an apartment for three people.

I’ve also noticed Australians are incredibly nice and forthright people. Because I appear Australian up until the moment I start talking, I can say I’ve bamboozled some when they start chatting to me about the weather, the AFL game, the play they’ve just seen, etc. I have also experienced the reverse - where I seriously cannot understand what’s going on and we both had to shake our heads and move on.

I can say living in student accommodation for as long as I did prepared me thoroughly for hostel life. Although I can say I had no intentions for staying here for as long as I did, I also need to recognize I’m doing it! I’m here with one of my best friends! Living in Australia! Living in the closest upside-down version of Toronto without copyright infringement.

Until the day comes where I don’t hear approximately 23 other languages while eating breakfast, I don’t think it’ll sink in that we made it, and everything is going to come together - job, housing, friends and a quality internet connection.

Having this time in limbo has also provided an opportunity to be available for options that I wouldn’t normally consider. What do I want to do for today? For this week? For this year and the year after? What about my career? Do I have to stick with planning or go in a different direction? Why not try being a bartender or waitress or barista and find purpose in that? Why not ask to speak to the manager and hand over your resume with confidence, and believe in yourself? After all, it’s that chutzpah that landed you here. 

Cheers!

Listening to: You Would Have to Lose Your Mind, The Barr Brothers.

[lmrphoto]

7. Be prepared, will you

Where am I? Probably the most inspiring room devoted entirely to reading.

Welcome to the State Victoria library. Cursing myself inwardly for not bringing my notebook and writing here the whole day.

[lmrphoto]

5. It begins

I leave today! My goal is to get to the airport for around two.

If I had to describe how I'm feeling, I'd say it's like being on a rollercoaster just before it starts. While you're strapped in waiting for the operator to press the button, there's this hollow feeling in your gut and your palms are slightly sweaty. Niiiice.

I also found out this morning that Malcom Gladwell's podcast Revisionist History released a second season at the start of the summer. I'd highly recommend it but only if you're a Gladwellian. I also have new episodes You Must Remember This and Criminal, which I talk about pretty much non-stop. These have all been downloaded on my iPod all ready to go.

A really good friend to me once mentioned your attitude makes the difference. And focus on your breathing. I've decided despite my crappy plane seats, I'm going to enjoy the travel time.

Also this morning are some goodbyes, to mom and dad and Graham. I love you all and I'll be in touch when I have wifi!