#lmk if i should tag anything else i want to be extra careful with this one

[pixelated-whump]

@ailesswhumptober Day Thirteen - Crushed

TWs: Child death, Minor Whumpee, Kinda graphic violence and stuff, please be careful and don't read if you can't handle this kind of stuff

Contents: Aside from everything up there, broken bones, suffocation, all that jazz, and again, Mabel is a minor and dies in this

Characters are Mabel (Aka M, She/Her, Around 12), Riley (Aka R, She/Her, Around 12), C (It/He/Whisker, Around 15), and F (He/Him, Around 14), all refs can be found here.

Also posted on Ao3!

Final warning, I rated this as Mature on Ao3 for a reason, please proceed with caution.

There’s a creak above Mabel’s head. She looks up nervously, gently tapping her sister’s shoulder. “Riley, we really shouldn’t be here-”

“It’s fine!” Riley huffs, tossing something to the side. “I’m almost done, anyways. Like I said, we’ll be in and out in no time at all.”

It takes a few more minutes for the fox hybrid to get done gathering supplies, flinging the front door of the abandoned house open and walking out. Mabel pauses for a moment, and hears the sound of wood cracking. Oh no.

Before she can even get her limbs to move, the wooden supports of the building collapse in on themselves, and wood and brick comes crashing down onto her. Mabel vaguely hears the panicked voice of her sister, but it’s overshadowed by the painful pressure on her entire body, minus one arm. She screams as there’s a sickening crunch of various bones.

The cat hybrid screeches as the debris shifts slightly, ending up with more burying her. She can barely breathe, hyperventilating uncontrollably and sobbing.

A hand grabs her own exposed one, trying to pull her out. Mabel screams again, panic washing over her in waves as her breathing gets shallower.

“Mabel!” Riley sobs somewhere in front of her, pressing Mabel’s hand to her face. “Oh my god, Mabel!”

In one brief moment of clarity, Mabel realizes that this is it. She’s dying, and there’s nothing she can do about it. Tears slip down her cheeks, only able to hear the sounds of her sister’s sobs and her own shallow breaths.

She closes her eyes and waits to die.

---

“-ello? ...Hello?”

A voice makes its way to Mabel’s ears. It doesn’t sound like Riley, not at all. She lets out a groan, opening her eyes and lifting her head.

There’s a black- no, very dark blue cat looking down at her. She’s in a plain white area, though the ground underneath her is solid. The cat smiles in relief. “It’s been so long since we’ve gotten a new... visitor to the Void.”

He reaches out his paw and she takes it, stumbling as she stands up. “Who... Who are you? Where are we?”

“I’m C. You’re in the Void, although...” He pauses, pursing his lips. “Do you remember anything?”

“I thought I died,” She says, gasping and looking around. “Riley? Riley?!”

C rests his paw on her shoulder. “Easy, your body is still recovering.”

Mabel stares at him with wide eyes. “I need to find my sister!”

“She’s not here, as far as I know,” C explains, voice gentle. “Can you tell me your name?”

She falls silent for a moment. She doesn’t even know where she is. “It’s- It’s M-Mable.”

“We usually take one-letter names around here,” C says, gesturing for her to follow him. “How’s M sound to you?”

“It’s... fine, I guess.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” C reassures her, though it doesn’t really work. “It took me a hell of a long time to get used to it, too.”

“How did you find me?” M asks, tail swishing behind her.

“Well, normally I’d find you while doing my daily rounds, but...”

“Why hello there, my good friend Copycat!” A creature interrupts him, someone with sharp teeth and seemingly no eyes, but with a closer look, it seems they’re just hidden.

C sighs. “Hello, F. I’m showing our new friend around, if you’ll kindly buzz off for a bit.”

F hums, floating around M and almost examining her. “Oh, now I remember!” He exclaims. “You’re that cute butterfly-cat-human-thing I found.”

“...Butterfly?” She asks, head tilted. As if on command, wings on her back flutter.

“Yeah, the Void tends to corrupt its residents,” C explains, giving her a pitying smile. “It’ll take some time to get used to. C’mon, let’s go finish the rest of our tour.”

And M follows, because... she has nowhere else to go now.

M, Mabel, Mercy, was now a resident of the void.

And as selfish as it sounds, she hopes her sister will join her.

[chocotonez]

enhypen summer dates pt2: bonfires

a/n: burnt marshmallows > browned marshmallows

summary: enhypen + you on a bonfire date

cw/genre: Mild cursing, fluff, fire, food, English is not my first language and lmk if anything else should be tagged!

link to 1k June special!! -> (^_−)−☆

heesung

-idk why I can never see him going outside but it takes a lot of convincing for him to go to a bonfire especially late at night

-holds your hands by the fire pit, pointing out shapes in the flames, humming softly

-you probably have to yell at him to get off his phone so he can enjoy the outdoors

-can get bored kinda easily but as long as he’s with you he doesn’t care that much

-he’s willing to walk through seven feet of mud if he’s holding your hand

-gets stressed if the fire gets too big because he thinks one of you is gonna get burnt ;;

-sings really softly but don’t fall asleep pls he wants to go inside and cuddle on a mattress

jay

-dawg is grilling!!

-one time at a bonfire my friend was making sandwiches like it was a production line so that’s pretty much Jay grilling over the fire

-makes sure you are well fed and comfy!!

-makes bomb ass s’mores as well, brings extra blankets, he wants to see you all comfy and cozy during your little excursion

-covers your eyes so you don’t get smoke in them

-lays your head on his lap so he can play with your hair, and gladly carries you back to the car if you fall asleep (if he didn’t fall asleep by the cozy fire himself)

-likes to take care of you while you’re enjoying the bonfire, loves staring at you illuminated by the flames, loves being with you <3

-def not a common date but still, if it’s with you it’s fun!

jake

-tells scary stories but might just end up scaring himself

-I have a feeling he’s not very good at roasting marshmallows but it’s ok!! the fact that the marshmallow he toasted for you is scorched and bubbling adds texture and character!!

-tries to impress you by throwing a bunch of tinder into the fire and flexing his muscles while he carries a bunch of sticks

-gets really worried if you get too hot or there is smoke in your eyes :( immediately asks if you want to go home because he just wants you to have fun!!

-he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable ever <3 especially not during a date

-probably rambles to you about any sort of things on his mind, whether it be interesting mathematical formulas or scientific theories or his favorite episode of a new show he was watching

sunghoon

-“babe watch me throw this *random object* into the fire” “sunghoon what the FUCK?!”

-having tons of fun

-probably scares away any wildlife nearby without how much he laughs and he’s always pinching your cheeks while feeding you toasted snacks

-tells you scary stories but acts them out too!! mainly so you don’t get too scared

-pretends he’s a fire-bender and you get slightly worried for his health because he is messing around so closely to the flames but he reassures you that he’s a fire-bender

-“flames do not burn a dragon!!” “Do you need some neosporin?” “ya :(“

-karaoke with you

-really loves bonfires with you, even though you’re just outside

sunoo

-there for the view which includes you + fireworks + and nice sunset!

-is kinda sassy tho, gets all whiny if he gets smoke in his eyes

-brings a ton of blankets so you guys are all nice and toasty and you can cuddle even tho there’s a fire and you end up sweating but it’s ok if it’s with him <3

-he talks a lot, about his day, about your day, where he wants to go tomorrow, his favorite stars…

-makes you toast all the food over the fire because he’s too comfortable wrapped in his blankets on his chair to move

-def not his fave date but he doesn’t mind because he gets a ton of cute photos with you

-he’s down for any sorta date but he doesn’t want to get dirt on his pants and smoke in his hair!!

jungwon

-quiet, just enjoys the fire with you by his side

-feeds you s’mores or toasties

-both of you probably end up taking a nap and wake up to a dying flame and bright stars staring down at you <3

-he doesn’t really have any sort of noticeable attitude towards bonfires, like cool…ur outside….I guess

-but he’s really focused on your comfort, so he brings fans, blankets, extra water, fans smoke away from your eyes and emergency burn treatment

-holds your hand the entire night, looks up at the stars in awe but they look even brighter in his eyes

-probably ends up burning his hand and getting really embarrassing when you fuss over him tho

niki

-will randomly pop out at you after telling a scary story before hugging you and giggling

-plays with sparklers and you worry there’s going to be more fires than necessary before the end of the night

-hides his face in your arm if too much smoke gets in his eyes

-“I can make s’mores better than you y/n” and ends up melting a marshmallow <3 that’s ok tho you let him win the s’mores competition

-makes up new constellations with you and gives them stupid backstories, the Big Dipper becoming a soup ladle

-tires himself out from playing around too much and probably falls asleep on your shoulder

-he likes bonfires w you :) it’s so cozy but honestly he could do anything with you and he would still love it

•••

taglist: @chansburgah

[boqvistsbabe]

number 11 with boqvist please? x

Untitled and unedited

A/N: haven’t written in awhile and this is kind of shit but it helped me get out of my writing funk (I think). Also I tried to make the reader gender neutral so if I fucked up somewhere please let me know and I’ll fix it :)

Words: around 700 (I think this is the shortest thing I’ve ever written)

Warnings: none (if you see any lmk)

Prompt: Back Hugs from the Physical Affection list

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was supposed to be coming home from a long roadie and you were trying to make him a surprise dinner. It wasn’t going well if the burnt garlic bread was anything to go by but at least the pasta looked okay.

As you were playing up dinner you felt two arms wrap around you from behind.

“Hello älskling” he mumbled in your ear.

“Welcome back bubs, how do you feel?” Your murmured your response as you turned to wrap your arms around him with a smile.

“Like I don’t care if I eat because I just want cuddles.”

“I think I can manage that.” Was your response.

———————

“But babeee,” Adam whined, “I don’t wanna have to share you with everyone else.”

“Well you’re gonna have to deal with it. Hana has been planning this get together for weeks and I haven’t seen her in forever.” You mumbled as you finished putting your earring in.

“I still think we should stay home, I feel like I haven’t gotten to spend time with you in forever.” He said as he walked up behind you and looked at you through the mirror with his best pout.

“We need to go, but you might be able to convince me to leave early if you play your cards right.”

“Yes yes yes! I will play all my cards right because all I wanna do is spend time with you.” He flashed a big smile at you before wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you back into him. You returned his smile through the mirror.

—————-

By the time he had his second glass of wine at the party he was already turning into cuddly Adam. Well extra cuddly Adam since he’s cuddly to start with. When he had walked up to you and wrapped himself around you, you had turned to smile at him because how could you not?

Currently you were talking to Hana, Jakob’s wife and Olga, Sergei’s wife, and Adam was wrapped around you from behind with his face tucked in close to your neck.

It had been a few hours since you both had gotten there, so you were thinking about politely excuse the both of you so you could go home and cuddle. While watching Christmas movies of course.

You ended up doing just that and you knew it was definitely worth it when Adam gave you that smile when he started the car to go home.

——————

“Why do you always do that?”

“Huh?” Was his oh so intelligent response. In all fairness it was well past midnight and you had been laying in bed for awhile; so he was probably close to being fully asleep.

“You always hug me from behind. Like I mean right now technically it’s more like spooning but still. You always seem to prefer to hug me from behind. I’m not complaining I’m just curious why that seems to be your favorite way to hug me.”

“It’s cause of your face.” He mumbled, holding you tighter.

“My face?” Now you were the one with the less than intelligent response.

“You always look surprised, but like happy surprised. Because you weren’t expecting it. And then you smile that really pretty smile like when you’re really happy and content. And I like knowing I’m the one that put it there.”

“Oh.” You hadn’t exactly been expecting that.

“Yeah, now can we go to sleep? I love you but I need some sleep and so do you.”

“One second.” You turned around real quick to give him a big smile before leaning in and pressing your lips against his in a soft kiss, “I love you so much bubs.”

“Love you too älskling.”

With that you turned back around and he pulled you impossibly closer.

————-

Tagging some friends:

@tysonjost-taylorsversion @2manytabsopen @ilyasorokinn

[saltymongoose]

Important: Community Label News and Other Questions for Y'all

[Flagging Posts & Content Policies (Questions at the Bottom)]

Hey guys, more news on the Community Labels! Just so everyone knows, if you're on desktop and see the three little dots on the post and you hover over it/click it, it shows this:

Apparently we aren't supposed to click the flag if the post is properly labeled, because that reports the post to Tumblr as needing a manual review for one. It also looks like this on mobile:

I'm just putting this out there in case y'all are like me and click new things just to see what it does (I almost did it for some posts on my for you page 🤦‍♀️). I'll also be going through all my prev. posts sometime this week to check for what needs to be labeled (smut has already been 👍), but tags work pretty well for now until I go through all 600+ lol. (Though if you do think something needs a warning, please lmk!)

As for content policies someone asked the Tumblr Support Twitter if NSFW content was allowed now with the labels, and this was what they said verbatim: "Hi there, community labels don't change our content policies: and some types of content are still not welcome in the community. More info on what we consider NSFW here: tumblr.com/policy/en/comm.."

However, they deleted this response just recently (??) so I still have no clue what's going on in that regard. I don't post anything that's against the current content policies and don't plan on it either, but just for those who may want to do NS/FW art or smth: please be careful and don't get banned because Tumblr is vague about this. I'll try to keep y'all updated if I find anything new, but just be cautious for now.

[The Actual Questions]

As for questions relevant to this blog, here's the deal:

Since I'm going through them anyway, do y'all want anything else tagged for regular asks? Like specific characters, for instance?

This concerns smut (!), so it's very important. Considering how this will make keeping adult content hidden far easier, do y'all think I should still keep it strictly on Ao3 or just post it both here and there? Either way, it's ending up on Ao3 for archival purposes, but I wanted to get your opinions. All shall still be tagged, warned of, and put behind a read more (for extra safety) and we'd probably have to wait like a week or so till the rollout ends - but still, this alters things a bit and I wanted to know if your thoughts have changed on it.

So lmk what you guys think, I look forward to hearing what your opinions are. :)

[bunnykawa]

what are you doing, step bro? (sakusa x f. reader)

summary: To your parents, Sakusa was the greatest son. To you, he was the best big brother you could’ve ever asked for, but you could only find that out with a little force.

a/n: i literally just started college so i won't have much time to write but i have some stories in my drafts that'll be posted in awhile lol. should i open requests for haikyuu drabbles since they're short but still entertaining?? idek i feel like no one is reading this rn LOL but if anyone is reading this, lmk ;)

(edit: I HAD TO REPOST THIS CS IT WASNT SHOWING UP IN TAGS so sorry if you already liked this post)

warnings: 18+, incest, mentions of drugging,  mentions of somnophilia, mentions of parental neglect, noncon/dubcon/rape, sakusa is a dirty pervert i just don’t know how else to tag this, degradation, slight manipulation

"(Y/N), this is your new big brother, Kiyoomi," your mother said, holding tightly onto your small shoulders as you stood in front of her.

"You can refer to him as your nii-san from now on." Locking eyes with you was an older boy with long black wavy hair, two moles on the right side of his forehead, and a white face mask on the lower half of his face which blocked his nose and mouth. How odd, you thought. You could tell he was disinterested with how his eyes were blank as he stared at you.

That was the first time meeting your step brother, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Being four years younger than Sakusa, you two never really got along. Of course you had to respect each other, but there was nothing to really talk about other than when his volleyball games were or unfulfilling small talks. Sometimes he would make snide remarks, asking if you even showered when your hair was only slightly messy or if a smart word ever came out of your mouth when you stumbled over your words. Sometimes he was just mean to you in general to the point where you would cry. You always tried to ignore it, though. That was when you were younger. You couldn’t help that you weren’t that smart and he was your nii-san after all. Your parents would brush it off.

You celebrated his victories together, only because you had to. I mean, you were the younger sister of one of the nation's top three aces in high school volleyball. There was no way your parents wouldn't celebrate. He was their pride and joy.

Smart, athletic, incredibly attractive — everything you felt like you could never live up to.

Your own biological mom so obviously and painfully liked him more than you.

Before you even entered high school, Sakusa was old enough to move out and go to college where he continued to play volleyball. When he visited during the holidays, you still wouldn't have decent conversations with him. He would still insult you. It even made you cringe when you had to call him nii-san. Why address him as your older brother when he didn't even act like it?

But you dealt with it because you had to.

Fresh out of Itachiyama Academy, you're focused on studying for entrance exams for colleges in your area rather than what would happen if you ever had to see Sakusa again. But, you were expecting to see him very soon.

Gentle knocks are heard from outside your door and before you can respond, your mom is already opening it.

"(Y/N), Omi is coming today and he's gonna be here for a week. I have to go to the grocery store to buy food and I'm gonna run other errands so it's gonna take awhile," she says, leaning her head into your room. You respond multiple times with "okay" so she can leave your room sooner.

Textbooks and notebooks are strewn across your bed with you on your stomach, trying to cram as much information in your head as possible.

"That means I might not be here in time for when he comes, so you have to open the door and greet him," she adds.

"What about dad?" you ask with a grimace. The most you would do is say hello and scurry back into your room.

She rolls her eyes at you. "He's working late again. You know that, (Y/N)." With a sigh, you agree and she finally leaves your room after bidding you a "goodbye."

You can't remember the last time you saw Sakusa, but it was probably almost half a year ago. Ever since he left for college, your parents were even more distant towards you. They probably felt like they didn't need to worry about you because you weren't doing anything important.

When Sakusa came over, he barely acknowledged you and you were okay with that because it meant he wouldn't be bothering you.

But that didn't mean his blank stare wouldn't catch your attention whenever you came out of your room to eat or use the restroom. The atmosphere felt...very odd around him. You couldn't necessarily come up with a reason why.

Suddenly, you hear knocking on the front door. It had to be at least an hour or two since your mom left and the thought of who was waiting at the door made your stomach churn.

"Nii-san is here," you mutter to yourself as you got up to open the door. Right as you open the door, Sakusa was staring down at you with the same blankness in his eyes from before with his usual face mask. His hair was shorter than you remember.

Mindlessly, his eyes seem to scan your body before returning to your face, making you feel self-conscious. You were only wearing black spandex shorts and a loose tank top. Subconsciously, you rub your arm and step back to make space.

"(Y/N)," Sakusa acknowledges you in a deadpan voice. It's no surprise to you.

"Hi, onii-san. How are you?" You try so hard to be polite, but Sakusa seemed to have a naturally dominant energy that overwhelmed your senses, even if he also seemed to have the personality of a jar of mayonnaise. You step aside so he can come in. He wore gray sweatpants and a black windbreaker that was zipped up all the way. As soon as he makes it inside, he removes his face mask, stuffs it in his pocket, and starts unzipping his jacket.

"I'm good," he hums, "Where's mom?" He places the backpack he was carrying on the couch and takes a seat as you close the door.

"She's out doing errands and dad is working. Do you want some tea?"

"Yes, please. Make sure you wash your hands before you do. Thank you," he said. You walk into the kitchen, muttering "germaphobe" under your breath at his extra request. Unbeknownst to you, he watched you from his place on the couch as you walked around the kitchen, pulling the tea kettle out of one of the bottom cabinets and looking for cups. His gaze followed the outline of your ass in those tiny shorts that hugged your bottom tightly.

"What college are you planning on going to, (Y/N)?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm applying to the college you're going to and three others," you replied from your spot near the counter.

Sakusa actually perks up at your answer. "Oh, cool. You'll love it there if you get in. Only if, though. You're not the brightest."

You couldn't help but let your face fall in a frown at his seemingly small comment. Quickly, you compose yourself and brush off his remark. You got the water boiling in the tea kettle and reached high for the teacups that were sitting on the top cabinets. Your stepdad definitely put them up there.

A presence looms close behind you, which makes your whole body automatically freeze and tense up. A veiny, bulky arm reaches up easily to grab the teacups while another one snakes around you to pull your tank top down as it was exposing your stomach. You're not sure if you're imagining it, but you definitely feel something stiff brushing up against your back.

"You need to be careful. Don't wanna hurt yourself, do you?" Sakusa commented, leaning forward so his mouth was right next to your ear. A blush found its way onto your cheeks from feeling him so close to you.

He usually hated being so close to people. What was so different today?

"R-right," you stuttered, "Thank you, nii-san."

Confrontation wasn't a strong trait of yours.

You guess that moment was when it started getting really weird between you two. You still had small talks from whenever he would actually see you come out of your room, but you wanted to avoid him as much as you could. However, that was hard when Sakusa insisted that you drank tea together every night and, of course, your parents insisted, too.

Your nii-san wants to spend more time with you, they would say excitedly. Better late than never!

Maybe if he was showing the slightest bit of interest in you, your parents would finally care about you. So, with much hesitation, you started drinking tea with your step brother every night. Sakusa even made the tea himself so his poor little sister wouldn't tire herself out with carrying that heavy teapot.

You're still not sure if you're imagining things, but the tea tasted different from how you made it. And you swear that the tea didn't make you so sleepy after drinking it until he started making it.

"Come here," Sakusa would say with a smirk, "Onii-san will take you to bed."

You would pass out before you even made it to bed, but every morning you woke up with sticky thighs, only blaming it on sweating while you were sleeping.

Until one day, you didn't drink all the tea that he made you. You still fell asleep, though. Your brain was hazy enough to make you lose consciousness as he helped you up from your seat in the kitchen.

Sakusa laid next to you on your bed. You were placed on your side so he could slide under the sheets right behind you to press his hardened length against your ass. This was his favorite part of the night. He spent a few minutes playing with your cunt to make it slick enough for him to let his cock break through your walls.

You barely stirred awake. Didn't even move an inch as he caressed every part of your body, from your soft nipples to the sensitive nub between your thighs.

He pushed the elastic of his sweatpants down to his thighs quickly. His cock hit your ass before settling between your folds. A satisfied moan leaves his lips when he feels your wetness coating the top part of his shaft as he rubbed it against you. He hooked his arm around one of your legs so that you were spread open enough for him to fuck you and rub your clit at the same time with his other hand.

He wanted that sweet nectar completely coating his dick. He remembers the way you tasted and how you came on his tongue the night before, despite being blacked out from the little pills he would dissolve in your drinks. You tasted so clean and smelled so fresh. It was impossible for your nii-san to control himself around you.

And when did your ass look so good? God...Sakusa couldn't believe he never noticed how cute and well-shaped you were. You weren't that little girl he met when you were both kids. You were pushing adulthood now. Still pathetic looking, still too shy, still small around him, but fuck, he definitely would have pushed you over the counter the first day he came over and fucked you until you were crying and gagging.

He continued rubbing circles onto your clit and letting his cock soak up your juices. Gently, he positions the tip at your entrances and pushes in slowly.

"There you go," he whispers in your ear, "I know it's a little big. Don't worry."

He manages to fill you up all the way, making him groan. Your walls were tight around him. He thrusts in and out of you carefully, salvaging the feeling of your slick interior.

But you didn't drink all the tea, which means that you could wake up earlier than he expected.

Sakusa didn't expect you to wake up now.

You stirred slightly as you regained consciousness. Although your eyelids were heavy, you tried to force them open only to be met with darkness.

"Mmm," you croaked, rubbing your eyes. The odd feeling of being filled up suddenly made you wake up more. "W-what's going on?"

"Fuck," Sakusa muttered from behind you. You felt a hard chest pressed against your back and...a hand on your pussy. No, something inside your pussy. And that voice was so familiar.

You quickly whip your head around when the realization dawns on you. What the fuck is happening? While your eyes adjust to the dark room, you see two familiar eyes staring straight back at you. He stopped grinding his hips against you for a moment as if time stopped.

"...Nii-san?" you hesitated. His breathing was heavy and he stayed silent.

"Nii-san, what are you doing?" you asked in a panicked voice. You quickly tried to get up from your position, only to be held down by Sakusa’s muscular arms. His hand wrapped itself over your lips to prevent you from screaming.

“Be a good girl and stay quiet, (Y/N),” he whispered. A muffled scream tries to escape your lips. He continued to fuck you slowly, leaving a burning feeling in your walls. The same sore feeling that you would sometimes wake up to within the past few days.

For a moment, you pry his fingers off of your mouth. "I don't understand...Why are you...?" You yelped in surprise, horror, and pleasure as he delivered a sharp thrust from behind you. The smack of his hips against your bare ass made you cringe and feel so disgusted with yourself. Nii-san is actually inside me.

"My poor little sister," he chucked darkly. He suddenly wraps his arm around your knee tighter and forces your legs wide open, your knee almost touching your chest. Instead of putting his hand over your mouth to shut you up, he kneads your breast. His hands were so large.

"You think you can walk around the house looking like a little slut in those tiny shorts?" He stretches you open with his hard cock with slow, yet hard, thrusts. It left your mouth agape, but no sounds left your throat except for small squeaks that you couldn't hold back. "You stupid bitch. Just as dumb as I could remember. Fuck, you don't know how much I wanted to bend you over and fill you up with my cum like the stupid, desperate slut you are."

He was satisfied as you were barely fighting him. All you did was desperately search for something to hold onto and bite your lip because you were so scared. His words were painful. "Look at you. A waste of fucking space, only good as a fuck hole. Didn't even realize she was getting drugged and getting fucked every night because she's so fucking stupid."

Weak. That was all your brain was telling you, mocking you, as Sakusa didn't stop moving against you and insulting you. This wasn't the first time. It just so happened that this time you were able to wake up.

"I-I..." you stuttered, "I'll...I'll tell mom and dad." The sheets were gripped tightly between your fingers. "I'll tell them- mmmm...what nii-san has been doing to me..."

"If you tell mom and dad, they wouldn't even care," Sakusa said in a patronizing tone. The way his hand was caressing you made you wanna cry.

“They would!”

"Mom and dad don't even treat you like a daughter, (Y/N). When was the last time they told you they loved you?" Even if his question was rhetorical, your mind went completely blank. You can't recall a moment where they ever told you they loved you.

"B-but, this isn't right! You're not supposed to be doing this," you argued. It was a surprise that your mind wasn't completely clouded by how big his cock was and how his thrusts felt almost hateful.

"You think they would choose your side? You'd be ruining your own life. Maybe you'd ruin mine. And it'd be. All. Your. Fault." With each syllable, his movements became sharper. "You don't wanna betray your nii-san by saying something, do you?"

"You love your nii-san, right?"

You do. You love him so much, even if you tried to avoid him and he never said a single good thing to you in your whole damn life.

Because you have to love him.

You stopped gripping on the sheets to the point where your knuckles were turning ghostly white to brush away the tears rolling down your cheeks. Your body shook, from both crying because of Sakusa's painful words and how hard he was fucking you. The pleasure building up in your core was overwhelming you, making that intense feeling of having to pee forced out of you.

Hearing your sniffles and small cries, Sakusa pulls you even tighter against him, but doesn't stop his relentless thrusting. It turned him on even more. He pushes your hand to brush away your tears for you, like good big brothers should.

"It's okay, (Y/N). We both know mom and dad don't love you."

A loud cry erupted from your chest. Maybe if your parents cared about you, they'd be running to your room to save you the second you started crying. But, no. Sakusa was basking in the fact that you were hurting on the inside. After years of negligent silence, you were finally letting it all out.

"But nii-san loves you," he said with a smile.

Although his words seemed to stun your entire being, you manage to choke out a "What?" Like it was the first time someone ever told you that they love you.

His torturous thrusts almost distracted you. Fuck, why did it feel so good to have your step brother fucking you on your side like this?

"I love you." He sweetly grabs your face so you can turn your head to look at him. There was a pounding in your ears coming straight from your chest. A warm feeling spreads throughout your stomach.

"You...you love me, nii-san?"

"Of course I do." He was actually smiling at you, "If I didn't, would I be inside you right now?"

His face didn't seem so blank anymore. Sakusa never ever smiled at you. Hell, he never really smiled in general. Someone actually loved you. Holy shit. And he was even pounding away at your insides like you were a fuck doll.

Is that why he's so mean? Was he just trying to hide his feelings for you this whole time? You could die laughing right now. His cock felt so damn good rearranging your guts against your will yet you were struggling to accept it.

Your cheeks naturally puffed up in happiness as you smiled so brightly at him. The flip switched in your brain so easily. Without another word, Sakusa kissed you passionately, because he knew you would let him continue to ravage your body. Your hips began to buck from the pressure building up in your lower half and you starting pushing your hips towards him, welcoming his length inside you. It felt like you needed more of him. More of his love.

Love me.

"Nii-san," you gasped against his lips. His movements never faltered, which you figured was from his amazing athletic ability and stamina.

"Be a good little sister and cum on my cock," he coaxed. He could tell you were so close to cumming from how tightly your precious cunt was hugging his length and how you were squirming against him. You were both slick with sweat. As you started squirming more violently against him, Sakusa tightened his grip on you.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whined desperately, “Nii-san, I’m gonna cum!” You grabbed his arms and pushed your fingernails into his skin, making him hiss from the sudden pain. With a firm grip over your mouth, he muffles your screams. Satisfaction settled in your stomach as you exploded all over his cock. Your sweet juices trailed down your thighs onto the bedsheets.

As much as Sakusa wanted to, he couldn’t fill up your insides and see your hole dripping with his cum just yet. He quickly pulls out of you and lets his seed shoot onto the bare skin of your ass. The shock of your orgasm left your thighs trembling, your skin wet, and your eyes drooping.

“You’re the best little sister.”

You would’ve replied, but you could barely form any words as you lost consciousness again. When you woke up the next morning, you were fully dressed and cleaned up, with no stickiness between your thighs like how you used to wake up.

Sakusa actually cleaned you up this time. You felt your heart melt and butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Everything seemed to go back to normal between you two, with the same small talks and not really seeing each other often, but he always had a knowing smirk on his face whenever he saw you.

Whenever his eyes would trail up your body to meet yours, you could feel a warmth in your stomach spread all throughout your body which forced you to look away quickly. Whenever he insulted you, you would feel your thighs press together. Whenever you caught yourself admiring his features when he replaced his face mask for a new one, you smiled softly to yourself.

When it was time for him to leave, you couldn’t help but let a few tears shed. He was all set to go, with his backpack on and his mask covering his face.

“Hey, don’t cry, (Y/N),” he cooed, wiping your tears away, “You know I won’t be gone forever.”

You sniffled, “I know. I just hate being here alone.” Well, not necessarily alone. You just hated being ignored and neglected just because you weren’t your brother.

“If you manage to get into my college, you can move in with me. How does that sound?” You instantly perk up and dry your tears with your shirt.

"Really?!” you asked with excitement. You imagine all the things you could do with your nii-san without your parents in the picture. You could go out together, hold hands, share kisses, just about anything. He could even fuck you whenever he wants.

These thoughts about your own step brother would've made you feel sick before.

But that was before you knew Sakusa loved you. Now, you couldn't help but ask your mom when the next time your nii-san would be coming to visit. While you were waiting for his next visit, you studied hard.

College would be so much fun with your nii-san with you!

Part 2

[timep3tals]

Could you a do a fic were Peter and Morgan have to learn how to share and love each other? Or maybe jealous flash gets extremely salty when he sees peter and tony's natural intimacy as father and son?? 😊

As much as I enjoy the first idea, it’s too long for a drabble. Maybe one day I could write a fic! I hope you enjoy!

Ever since half the universe’s spectacular return from the dead, it’s been even harder than normal for Flash to ignore Parker. Not that he was obsessed with Peter, but the guy was just ever-presently there, even when he wasn’t physically in the room with them.

But that might also be Flash’s jealousy talking when he sees the other teen holding hands with MJ (how he swung that one, Flash will never know), or making private jokes with Ned, or when he brings Tony fucking Stark to every school event there was. Flash is decently sure he’d seen more of Tony Stark in a few months than he had in a lifetime. 

Every decathlon meet, Iron Man himself was just there. Stark even brought this way-too-high-tech-to-be-bought camera that hovered midair and filmed everything Parker said. He came to every PTSA meeting with freshly baked cookies while Parker slouched in the chair, like he was somehow fucking embarrassed Stark was there, chatting up the nearest Linda or Karen.

After school, three times a week (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays), Stark was there, picking Parker up with a cheerful arm (the only one Stark had left, because he was just badass like that) around his shoulders and a smile so adoring Flash always had to look away. It wasn’t fair. What had Parker done to deserve Tony fucking Stark worshipping the ground he walked on? What had Flash not done?

Hell, he pays more attention in class than Parker does. Usually the nerd is sitting in the back of the classroom, tapping away on his phone rather than paying attention. Flash saw the other day he was texting Stark. Parker also doesn’t do anything in gym, just makes faces at Leeds while doing sit-ups when Flash was actually busting his ass to get the best times.

But somehow Parker got Stark, and Flash got nobody. Not even his own parents. Sometimes, even their driver wouldn’t show up to pick him up from PTSA.

On those days, Flash would grumpily eat Stark’s delicious, homebased cookies and seethe over the fact he only got to taste them because of Parker.

All of the building resentment came to head one Thursday afternoon. The night prior, Flash’s father had yelled at him over the eighty-nine he got on their last Calculus test. Parker, the kid notorious for never paying attention in class, got the only one hundred. He even got five extra points, for a 105, because of some stupid extra credit project he did that Stark supposedly helped him on.

The bells had just run to release the students to go home for the day. Flash slammed his locker shut and stomped outside, on a warpath with no particular destination. It wasn’t until he saw Parker outside waving goodbye to MJ, smiling that stupid smile of his, that Flash finally snapped.

“Hey, Parker!” he shouted. “Penis Parker!”

Parker didn’t even flinch. He just turned and raised a single, unimpressed eyebrow. It was a face he’d seen Stark make many a time in PTSA meetings when he thought something was stupid or ridiculous, and it made Flash burn to see it on Parker’s face directed at him.

“Who the fuck do you even think you are?” Flash went on. 

“Is this a rhetorical question?” Parker asked, eyebrow raising even closer to his hairline.

“What’s up with you and Tony Stark? You his new little boy toy, or some shit?” The eyebrow lowered. Parker’s face closed off, and Flash knew he struck a nerve he shouldn’t be poking at, but he was so satisfied at finally breaking past that cheerful front that he couldn’t stop now he’d finally found the chink in Peter Parker’s seemingly indestructible armor. “I mean, why else would the most powerful man in the world pay attention to some fucking nobody like you.”

“Do not talk about him like that,” Parker said, low and fierce and protective in the way Flash had never heard him before. “Tony would never—“

“Oh, first name basis!” Flash let out a hysterical laugh. “You must really think you’re something special, then, huh? This is just rich. The lamest kid from school somehow gets all the love from the savior of the universe, just because he’s kinda smart. What about me?” 

What about Flash’s parents? What does he have to do to get all the love people so openly give to Parker? Why wouldn’t anyone look at him the way Stark looks at Parker, like Stark would jump in front of a speeding train if it meant Peter would smile?

“Right, what about you?” a cold voice demanded, older and deeper than Parker’s. Flash felt his insides curdle as he turned to see Tony fucking Stark, standing taller than Flash had ever seen. Stark’s chest was swelled with fury, and those eyes usually hidden behind sunglasses bore nakedly into Flash’s own. “Who the hell are you?”

“Tony,” Parker said, “don’t worry about it, let’s just go.”

“No, no,” Stark said, brushing Parker’s urging aside. He wouldn’t look away from Flash, and Flash just wanted to die. How did he forget Stark picked Parker up on Thursdays? “I want to hear the name of the little punk who thinks he can talk to my kid that way.”

“Tony,” Parker groaned, exasperated.

“It’s Flash, sir,” Flash said. His eyes finally dropped to his feet where his stomach sat heavily. He could barely stop his hands from shaking as the most powerful man in the world bore holes into his head. 

“Flash. God, who the fuck thinks up kids’ names anymore?“ Stark shifted minutely closer, and Flash skittered a nervous few steps back. “Listen kid, I don’t care who the fuck you think you are. No one messes with my son. Ever. You understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” Flash squeaked.

“Good.” Flash chanced a glance. Stark slid his sunglasses back on and leaned forward. “Do not think for a second I wouldn’t do anything for this kid. The threat should be pretty fucking clear, even for moronic teenage ears. Peter is brilliant and kind, and three hundred times the person you will ever be. So what about you?” Flash swallowed. “You will only ever be worth the way you treat other people. Like shit.”

And, just like that, Stark tucked his arm around Parker and steered Parker away towards a shiny, silver Lamborghini that Stark tossed the keys to Parker for. Parker kept glancing back at Flash with worried eyes, but didn’t say a word as he peeled away from the curb. Flash was left standing, shaking, in front of the school with no one around him. Not even his so called friends dared to come close to the kid who Tony Stark chewed out.

You will only ever be worth the way you treat other people.

When the driver showed up an hour late to take him home to a place where no one spoke, Flash sat down, pulled out a piece of paper, and began to write a letter to every kid he’d ever pushed down, staring with Peter Parker.

Tag List: 

@keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars @riseuplikeglitterandgold @just-the-daydreamer @baloobird @roaringgay @serendipity–goddess @tony-wheres-my-supersuit @spider-beep @swagfictonreadingnerd @tcny-stcrks @josywbu (lmk if you want to be added or removed! i’d always love more names to put down so... wink wink, nudge nudge)

[choices-and-voices]

hi sorry if this has already been asked somewhere but im was wondering if you had any tips on how to get the best experience without having to pay ?

Hi there! Don’t worry, this question hasn’t been asked before, and I am honestly super flattered that you value my opinion enough to ask it ☺️ I’m not sure how helpful my tips will be because I don’t exactly consider myself an expert in this, but here are some things that came to mind! I’ve gone into quite a bit of detail, but if you want a quicker overview, just stick to the bold headings. Also, if any of the people reading this have good tips of their own, please lmk! I’m always learning new things about how to do this too 💕

1. This one’s a bit obvious, but still – take the opportunities that the game gives you to earn free diamonds. That means watching the bonus ads every day (5 diamonds/day), playing through chapters as often as you can (including replaying old books if there are no new releases – 2 diamonds/chapter), and watching ads at the end of book chapters for an extra diamond. Obviously, all this is a bit of a balancing act – you want to be playing Choices often enough to build up your diamonds, but not so often that it takes over your life and makes you feel frustrated, because what’s the point of it if it’s not fun anymore, y’know? So I’ve always been careful not to overdo it. Even if all you do is watch the bonus ads every day, that’s 35 diamonds/week – basically, one big diamond scene a week – which is honestly not too shabby.

2. At any one time, only play 1-2 books that you’re really invested in, and try to supplement that with another 2-3 books that you’re not really invested in or are replaying just for diamonds. As tempting as it can be to rush through every good-looking book in the app all at once, that just leads to a situation where a) you’re trying to divide your free keys between waaay too many releases, and b) there are so many demands on you for diamonds, you never get to consistently spend them on anything. So I personally think it’s best to only read a couple of good books at once, and instead of marathoning them, break them up with chapters from less-good books – this builds up your diamond stash for spending on the good books. Which leads into my next point:

3. Don’t zip through books too fast – even if most of the chapters are already released, spreading them out helps you earn more diamonds for them in the meantime. I’m really lucky to have been playing Choices for so long that almost all the books were presented to me in weekly release format – if I downloaded the app for the first time today, and saw all the fully-released books on there, I feel like I would be way too overwhelmed to play. So I reckon that, even if a book isn’t technically a weekly release for you, make it a weekly release! You might decide to play all the books you’re really invested in on a particular day when you have more free time – say, a Sunday. Then, you have Monday-Saturday every week to earn diamonds for those books, and something to look forward to at the end of it all. As for what you do with those diamonds:

4. Be smart about what you spend diamonds on. There are a couple of different components to this tip – it involves things like a) figuring out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general, b) figuring out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books, and c) planning ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. To address each of those things one-by-one:

a) Figure out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general. Off the top of my head, there are 6 main types of diamond purchases in Choices: ‘friendly’ scenes with LIs (12-25 diamonds), ‘steamy’ scenes with LIs (25-30 diamonds), scenes with your whole friendship group, collectible items (e.g. the tapestry pieces in Bloodbound, the clues in Veil of Secrets, etc.), outfits, and pets. Your mileage may vary a lot on which of these are most important to you, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. But my general advice would be to i) prioritise group scenes above LI scenes, ii) prioritise ‘friendly’ LI scenes above ‘steamy’ LI scenes, iii) avoid collectibles, and iv) go for outfits and pets only if you really like the look of them. This advice is based on the fact that, firstly, I think you get a better experience of immersion in a book if you know a bit about all the characters around MC, rather than just about one LI; secondly, ‘friendly’ LI scenes tend to tell you more about the LI than ‘steamy’ scenes, which are often 80-90% copied-and-pasted erotica despite being more expensive; thirdly, collectibles are a massive drain on diamond stores, and almost always unlock quite short, generic scenes that it’s easy to find on Tumblr or YouTube; and fourthly, both outfits and pets don’t do much except appear in the story at key moments, which can be a really nice touch but is still only needed in moderation. Of course, there are exceptions to these rules, and you might find that those exceptions are sometimes book-specific. Which leads me to Part B of this point:

b) Figure out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books. It’s all well and good for me to say that group scenes are usually better than LI scenes, but when I’m playing a book with an amazing LI but a pretty meh supporting cast (*cough cough* Myra Dixon carries Baby Bump on her shoulders *cough cough*), I obviously may need to adjust my spending habits slightly. Moreover, by focusing all your diamond spending on just one main thing per book – like Myra’s romance in Baby Bump, or the party’s side-quests in Blades of Light and Shadow, or the posse in Queen B – I think you end up with a much better playing experience, because you feel like you’re seeing at least one facet of the story in-depth instead of getting a patchy surface view of lots of different facets. For the most part, the purchases you prioritise in a book can mostly depend on personal taste, but there are a few books where some background knowledge might be helpful in the decision. Four things that I think are worth flagging are that i) the ‘competition books’ (America’s Most Eligible, Queen B, Hot Couture) do require regular outfit purchases to win, although winning isn’t that much better an experience than being runner-up; ii) Veil of Secrets and Nightbound are two books where it’s worth saving 30-35 diamonds for the final chapter, because your MC is forced to leave the small-town setting if you don’t; iii) Across the Void is a book that frequently invites you to spend diamonds to save characters’ lives, but their death arcs are honestly much better-written and more sensible than their survival arcs; and iv) the It Lives series is the only one where characters can die due to an accumulation of choices you make throughout the story, so maybe it’s worth keeping some diamonds in reserve for that one. Which just leaves us with one more sub-point:

c) Plan ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. I want to take this opportunity to thank whichever people in the fandom maintain the Choices wiki, because oh my gosh, they are lifesavers. For the last year or so, my response whenever a new Choices chapter is released has been to wait a few hours, Google ‘[book name] choices’, open the wiki result, and skim through to check how many diamond choices are available & how much they cost. Because all the wiki includes are the possible responses to every choice presented – it doesn’t even state the wording of the choice itself – this is a relatively spoiler-free technique that helps a lot with big picture planning. For example, you might decide not to buy an early group scene because there’s a nicer-sounding LI scene later on, and come to think of it, you should replay a few more chapters of another book first to save up the diamonds for that scene. If you don’t mind encountering just a few more spoilers before you play the chapter, you can also scout out its diamond scenes in more detail by searching the relevant book or character tags on Tumblr, or by looking for a chapter stream on YouTube. You may decide that you don’t need to buy a diamond scene if you’ve already seen it played through by someone else, or alternatively, you may decide whether or not to buy a diamond scene based on how good it looks in an existing playthrough – in either case, these techniques can help you thoughtfully ration out the diamonds you have, instead of being caught off-guard whenever a diamond choice comes up.

5. On the subject of the Choices wiki, it’s also a great way to maximise your success in books without using diamonds. Whenever there’s a ‘right’ option to a choice that gives you a better outcome later in the chapter, that’s indicated in the wiki. So with a bit of pre-reading of the wiki before you play the chapter, and/or with the wiki open on a separate screen as you play, you can get the best outcome without having to buy that outfit or bonus scene that promised you ‘an advantage.’ Obviously, your mileage may vary on whether this method is actually worth it, or whether it takes all the fun out of Choices by ‘cheating’ at the gaming aspect. I personally view Choices as more of an interactive story app than a game I’m trying to beat, so I have no issue with this method, but opinions may differ and that’s okay.

6. If you’re really feeling like a lack of diamonds is limiting your playing experience, it may be best to start out with ‘cheaper’ books until you have more diamonds stored up. In this case, I’m using ‘cheaper’ to mean books where there are fewer diamond scenes, where diamond scenes are less expensive, and/or where diamond scenes don’t play as big a role in the plot. It can be hard to identify which books fit this bill, but as a general rule, it’s more likely to be the earlier-released ones or less-popular ones. Some which I’d recommend are the first few books of the Freshman series, the #LoveHacks series, the High School Story series, the Perfect Match series, Most Wanted, The Heist: Monaco, Wishful Thinking, Bachelorette Party, and The Royal Masquerade.

7. Finally, a really quick tip for making the most out of free keys – keys are used up as soon as you start a book chapter, and refresh ~every 3 hours. This means that, even if you don’t have time to play chapters every 3 hours, you should try to open the app roughly that often and just click to unlock a chapter. When you finally have time to play, you’ll have a whole lot of chapters ready to go plus another two refreshed keys, and you can power through them at whatever speed you need to fit in them into your break time or to earn diamonds for an upcoming release. Once again, this is a tip that may need to be practised in moderation, because you don’t want to be constantly interrupting your life to load up an app on your phone. But even if you just log in and unlock chapters every 6 hours, or every 12 hours, that’s still 2-4 extra chapters ready for you at the end of the day plus your two free keys.

I think that’s about all for my tips! Thanks for reading, and I hope it helped at least a bit ❤️

[superhero--imagines]

A/N: So there will be at least 2 more parts after this one, it’s all too long to put into one post. LMK if you want to be tagged :)

The next part is going to be from His POV, and it’ll be posted tomorrow

Tags: @ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark​ @treestarrrrrrrr​ @jelly-snow-stark​

                   <--- Part 1 Here!  /  Part 3 Here! --->

* Ben sighs as he takes in the tiny hut that’s his home now

* It’s all one room, and it’s smaller than his bedroom at home

* “Well it’ll have to do” he sighs, dropping his duffel bag to the ground

* “Ow!”

* He misses you so much he can even hear your voice

* “Ben if you’re alone you can stop pretending now!”

* His face breaks out into a grin, he should have dropped you a bit more gently

* He unzips the bag, and your head pops out

* “So how long have you known?” You ask, rubbing your aching limbs

* “In what galaxy would you let me leave without saying goodbye?” His grin broadens, as you climb out of the bag.

* “I figured you were hiding in the ship though, I didn’t think you hid in my bag” he admits, peering inside the bag

* “Where did my underwear go?”

* You didn’t come this far, to only come this far

* You had spent years trying to keep Ben from the dark side, and you weren’t about to leave him by himself just because of a small hiccup like this

* It’s pretty cozy with the two of you in that hut

* You hope back home Holdo, your mother, found your note

* All of this seemed a lot easier in the movies, going on spontaneous adventures, chasing after artifacts

* Oh well, at least you have people who love you

* You didn’t plan this very well, and neglected to bring many clothes, you are glad you brought underwear

* You mostly end up wearing Ben’s clothes

* “Aw come on, you know I wanted to wear that shirt today”

* “Do you want to wear one of mine?”

* Despite himself, he blushes when he see’s you roll up the sleeves of his dress shirt

* “No it’s fine” he says with a huff, he can’t help but think it looks cuter on you

* It’s still early on in the story, so Luke only has a handful of disciples currently

* You usually stay in the hut, until the late morning when the padawans go to the cliff to practice light saber training

* Then you run basic errands, like washing your clothes, bathing, cooking/catching/gathering lunch, reading and sleeping

* You and Ben will usually share meals together, he’ll either eat some of whatever you made, or share his rations for the day

* “You know, it’s like you’re an adult”

* You freeze when you hear Ben say that

* “What do you mean?” You try to stay calm as you breathe in deeply. Ben can read minds in the future with ease, it only hurts when the other person refuses to give him the information

* There’s no guarantee he hasn’t been able to read your mind all along, just going along with your wishes to keep you at ease

* “You hunt and gather like a pro,” he shrugs, taking a big bite of the stew you made. “It’s like you don’t even need my help”

* Oh, he’s sad

* You get it, in this body you’re younger than him.

* But your mind is much older, so you’ve always taken a more dominant position in your friendship

* But being here, somewhere you aren’t supposed to be. Ben had thought for once, he could take care of you

* But even here, you do the laundry for both of you, you cook for both of you, and you even cleaned the hut while he was training

* “Ben, the fact that you even want me here is more than enough”

* And it’s true, you can’t imagine anyone in your past life tolerating a bossy girl like you following them around

* Especially at this age

* “Of course I want you around, you’re my best friend” There’s a rosy tinge on his pale skin, eyes staring a hole into his bowl of stew

* Ben’s really special

* “I know”

* At night is when the work really comes

* You fumble around with a book, or embroidery, or sharpening your hunting tools, until Ben finally falls asleep

* Then you lean against the his bed frame, and stare at the door until dawns early light

* You don’t know exactly when Luke starts to suspect that there’s darkness in Ben, so this is how you’ll keep him safe

* You’ll be caught, but at least this way you can save him, even if it’s just prolonging the inevitable.

* “Why do you always sleep on the floor?”

* “Would you rather I sleep with you in your bed?” You ask, at which he stammers and blushes

* “N-no, I would sleep on the floor and you could sleep on the bed”

* You smile as you sharpen your spear, he’s still awfully kind to you

* “Nah, you have to train”

* You get caught after a week, maybe a month if you’re especially careful

* It’s the first time your mother slaps you

* But even after she can tell you’re not sorry

* “What were you thinking?”

* You know how it looks, that a stubborn child followed her best friend not thinking once about the people she was hurting

* You can’t tell them, you can’t tell them that all of this is to save them, to save Ben and to even save yourself

* “The force showed me, Ben is my prince and I’m his knight”

* So you tell a great big lie

* “You saw the future?” Luke sounds skeptical, you don’t blame him

* You nod

* “What else did you see”

* Well crap, you’ve already screwed up the timeline enough just by being so present in Ben’s life

* What’s something small you can tell them? You can’t tell them about Rey, a lonely girl in Jakku, not yet. You can’t tell them about Poe or Finn either, who even knows what they’re up to right now

* “There’s a droid, orange and white, BB8”

* “What about the droid?”

* Well fuck, you didn’t think they’d ask questions

* “It’ll be a key player in keeping balance in the force.”

* The adults don’t doubt you know what you say you do, but they agree that Luke isn’t the right master for you.

* From what they can tell you’re not particularly force sensitive

* You will learn under Leia as her senator

* You can only nod in agreement

* You fuss over Ben more than Leia does when you’re about to leave

* “This is my spear, for when the other kids bully you, or try to take your food”

* “The other kids don’t bully me”

* “And this is my cloak, for if you get cold at night”

* “I have my own cloak”

* “And this is my-“

* “I’m not going to miss your things,” Ben interrupts “I’m going to miss you”

* You can feel your eyes begin to sting

* “I’ll miss you too”

* You hug him long and tight, boarding your ship and returning home

* “You know Jedi can’t get married?” Luke asks his nephew

* “Grandfather did”

* “Yes, because that ended so well”

*”He had you and Mom didn’t he?”

* The years fly by, you study well under Leia. Showing an aptitude for politics and negotiation

* Your mother’s much happier now as well, now that you’re not spending every waking moment trying to save Ben Solo, you actually don’t cause any trouble

* You wonder how Ben is doing often, you haven’t seen him in years

* But you know there’s not much you can do for him

* You’re not Rey, you don’t have a force bond with him

* All you can do is hope he’s alive and happy somewhere

* You meet Poe in your early adolescence, it’s made very clear you aren’t to ask where he came from

* “What are you up to?”

* You glance over your shoulder, as you sit on the dock, Ben’s dock.

* “Just taking in some fresh air” you say back with a smile, you should work on getting on Poe’s good side

* “Makes sense,” he grins as he stands beside you, taking in the cerulean blue of the lake. The same lake Ben would practice using the force on “of course you’d want to be around what you are”

* You know you’re much older than 16, but you can’t help the blush that blooms on your cheeks

* “Mind if I join you?” He asks, and not trusting your mouth, you motion for him to sit beside you

* He grins and he sits next to you, his knee bumping against yours

* He’s just as funny and charming as he was in the movies

* You’re carrying back a basket full of fruit when you see him walking down the path, you’re about to greet him when he wordlessly takes the basket out of your hands

* Underestimating your strength, and how heavy the basket is, he accidentally spills fruit along the way, stumbling every few steps as he does

* You sigh, he’s just as reckless too

* But he’s your friend, you think with a smile, picking up the fruit that trails behind him, before walking by his side once more

* As time goes on, you lose your sense of urgency, absorbed in your lessons and your daily life

* Still you wonder every so often how Ben is doing

* Is he’s eating enough, if he’s managed to make any new friends

* You sigh

* You wish you could call him, or send him a text, anything

* Just to make sure he’s still alive

* A light bulb practically flashes over your head

* Maybe you could write him a letter!

* You pull out a piece of paper, so excited to tell him about everything that’s happened

* Your pen hovers over the paper, where do you even start?

* With Poe? The politics classes? How you were going to represent the planet as an ambassador?

* Or how much you miss him

* How much you think about him, and hope he’s doing well

* You sigh pushing away the paper and pen, some things you can only say in person

* “You’re all set, aren’t you?” Holdo asks you, and you nod “Got everything you need? Did you pack extra underwear?”

* “Mother!” Your fave erupts into flames, you can hear Poe laughing as he boards the ship

* “Don’t fuss over the girl Holdo” Leia says, “Now dear, you remember your etiquette lessons, yes? Don’t be afraid to stab a man right through the chest if he gets too close”

* Between the two of them, you don’t know who’s worse

* It’s all fairly standard once you land, you greet the king and queen of this planet, thank them. Greet your maids, chef and staff

* “We have a Knight for you as well ambassador”

* You’re about to tell him there’s no need, you’ll be fine on your own

* But then you look over to your Knight

* “We believe it’s someone you may know well”

* His face, it’s the same, and yet completely unfamiliar. He’s well built now, a large frame that towers over you

* “It’s been a while” He says, the hint of a smile playing in his face

* Those eyes haven’t changed, deep, and honest

* “Ben!”

* You nearly yelp, you feel tears prickle the corners of your eyes as you throw your arms around him

[amethystpath-writes]

A Gentle Blade Part 14

Part 13 here

It's been a long while since I had a whump scene with Leera, but here we are.

TWs: Torture, mentions of death (of briefly mentioned character), mention of past abuse, nonconsensual touching towards end (brief mention), <-straddling ...(If I miss any lmk!)

Tag list: @tears-and-lilies

******

If wouldn't have mattered how long Sir Guard spoke; the queen wouldn't sleep until she hurt Leera. Rennera wouldn't say what she would do to her prisoner, but she did say Sir Guard wouldn't want to be there if he didn't torture. He would be there, whether he liked it or not; Leera wouldn't want to be alone. Or would she? Maybe she would be embarrassed if he were there.

It was too late to turn back now. Sir Guard was behind Rennera on the stairs to Leera's cell. If he turned back now... It would be cowardice to sleep in another room, away from the assassin who he was responsible for. He was the reason she was there. Sir Guard felt he needed to see Leera's torture, if not to make her feel better, then to punish himself.

"Knock, knock, my dearest assassin," the queen chuckled with high pitched hums. Sir Guard couldn't wrap his mind around the change in demeanor. Just earlier she had been talking about how she hated to hurt Leera, and any prisoner. She had just been talking about the abuse she went through, but now she was back to a sadistic torturer. How quickly she changed...then again, she had been silent the entire way from Sir Guard's room to the dungeons. She must have been preparing.

Leera whined like a dog preparing to be kicked by an abusive owner. Sir Guard had to look away from her before he did something he might have regretted more than what he'd already done. He turned his attention to the door, which he shut before taking up his usual space next to it. Sir Guard stared at the wall across from him. He hated that he couldn't plug his ears in order to stop hearing the assassin's harsh breathing.

"I have company in a few days," Rennera began to explain. "My conferences didn't go as expected so they will be visiting our great home. I'd like for you to be by my side." She spun on a heel to face Sir Guard. "You, too, my future king." He raised his brows. His lips parted, as well. Before he could say anything, the queen continued. "My assassin needs prepped in a particular way. I'm afraid you might coax my visitor's minds into helping you escape and I can't have that."

The assassin shook her head wildly. Sir Guard couldn't help but watch the panic on her face, the panic he ultimately caused. "I wouldn't. I won't. I promise I won't."

"Now, now." Rennera took lingering steps toward her captive. She bent at the waist, raising a sharpened nail to Leera's face. The assassin's eyes squeezed shut as she turned her head away in a series of small, nervous jerks. "You already agreed for our little session today. Best not to make it worse for yourself by begging, no?"

She nodded against the nail which barely touched her, but was still frightening nevertheless. Leera muttered a tiny, almost unheard, "Okay."

Sir Guard believed what all the queen had told him now. Even after the character change he witnessed, he believed her. She sounded evil, the way she suggested the assassin not beg, but it was that that Sir Guard caught onto, the piece that let him know Rennera really hated to hurt the assassin. She didn't want Leera to beg because that made it harder for her to pull through.

"Guard-" Sir Guard's attention snapped up if only because he was used to the assassin's nickname. He was fond of the name 'Sir Guard' now, though he felt bad that he never told Leera his real name. He almost did once before he came up with his best friend's name. "I need you to follow me. Bring the assassin. If she doesn't walk on her own, you drag her."

You're only saying that to prove your worthiness to your guard. But Rennera was a queen. Most people would have thought just owning the title would be enough. Sir Guard knew better. In some aspect he knew Rennera was doing the right thing, just as he had in some way; it didn't mean he liked her any more. He despised her as much as himself.

"Come, darling." The queen's black dress tailed her, dragging across the stone floor.

The other guard waited on Sir Guard with a bored expression. He quickly realized the queen was calling him darling. He shook his head, blinked a few times, and followed. It was difficult not to turn his head back to look at Leera who walked behind him.

"I can walk her," Sir Guard said, speaking to the man even further behind him than Leera. He turned his head just barely enough that he could see a little bit of the wall in his peripherals. It was safer Leera walk with him than the other guard. He seemed much more callous- certainly willing to drag her if she walked too slow like she nearly was.

"Her Majesty ordered me to walk her."

"She'll walk faster with me, and the queen hates waiting. I can hear her opening the door on the top step already. We're behind." He added. "And if you have not noticed, I am having to speak louder than I'd like because you and the prize are so behind."

To his surprise, it was Leera who responded. She gasped and the sound of footsteps ceased. "Please don't," she blurted and the guard behind her hummed in confusion.

"Keep walking."

"No, no, no. Please, you can't let him walk me. I'm going." But she wasn't moving.

"Walk. Now."

Leera continued to cry, unmoving on the stairs. What was she doing? Was she really afraid that Sir Guard would take over and hurt her? Was she scared of him now because he slapped her? She must not have trusted him anymore. Sir Guard reckoned he deserved it.

"Please," Her voice raised to a wail. Her body hit the hard stairs as the guard pushed her down.

"If that's not what you want, it's what you'll get," the guard said.

Then it struck Sir Guard. She was acting out because she wanted to be lead by him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. It was that she did. Leera felt safe with him. Before he could smile, he gruffly demanded her, "Up, now. Let's go."

She scrambled passed him on all fours before standing and beginning to walk. She gave him no trouble, acted as if she were afraid stepping wrong would upset him. Her acting skills were coming along well.

The assassin turned her head once- before they could approach the queen- and mouthed a thank you, to which Sir Guard gave a long blink. He couldn't nod or else the man behind him would know something was going on.

Even if the queen didn't like hurting Leera, Sir Guard couldn't let her know that he cared for the assassin at all. If he showed that, Rennera would be forced to take action, and then neither he, nor Leera, would ever have a chance at leaving the palace.

Rennera tutted as she spotted Leera, then Sir Guard, and finally the other. "I don't suppose there were problems, my dearest assassin? It took you quite a while." She looked at her own dress, suggesting she should have been the slow one.

Sir Guard actually heard the assassin swallow. He said, "She only needed a little coaxing, Your Majesty. I think her fear in my presence merits enough as any amount of added punishment."

"Of course," was all the queen said in return.

The door was already open. Rennera stepped passed the threshold and the others followed her. Leera's harsh breathing was getting worse with every step. Sir Guard was afraid- but also hopeful- she would pass out before the queen could torment her.

He wondered what would happen if Leera did pass out first. Would the treatment be worse or better? It was hard to tell. On one hand- if she passed out- she wouldn't feel anything and it might be harder to tell when the queen should stop, so she might stop early. But this could also be the same reason that she hurt Leera more. Without the cries, Rennera might accidentally overdo it. The latter would be great for the queen, terrible for the assassin.

As the four of them walked across the royal rug of the throne room to another door and staircase, Sir Guard pondered further. This time, he thought about something the queen had mentioned earlier.

A hiccup in her meeting amongst the kings and generals of other kingdoms. They must not have believed she was worth her word and that was why she was so persistent now in fixing Leera up. It was an extra measure to assure others viewed her like her husband.

What did this all mean to him? Well, Rennera only ever referred to him as her 'future king'. He never had the confidence or preparation to tell her he didn't want to marry her. He would marry her if it kept Leera safe, or as safe as she could be. Sir Guard couldn't stop her from hurting, but he could at least be there to comfort her afterwards. If he refused Rennera when the time came, he couldn't be there. Maybe he could, but not in the way he needed to be. He would be no help to Leera if he was whipped until he was motionless and unconscious.

Sir Guard wondered what this next meeting would look like. The queen clearly had the intention of broadcasting Leera. How would he be shown though? Would Rennera demand he stay silent, be a puppy dog at her side to make her seem like a master of authority? Or would she expect him to be as evil as she was to Leera?

A door opened. The queen and crew flooded in. Two torches alongside the same wall as the door lit the room with flickering light. Various wooden tables scattered the open room, each with different...supplies on them. Most of which were metal. Most of which were stained various shades of red. Sir Guard felt as if one of those tools were pinching his lungs. He swallowed.

It felt selfish to think that he couldn't stay and watch. That feeling of selfishness was what made Sir Guard stay though. He needed to be here, in this...this Torture Room for Leera. And anyways, what kind of future king would he be if he couldn't stand to see prisoners like this?

I'm not this kingdom's future king. That's what he wanted to think, what he'd even say to Leera when she mentioned it at one point in time.

In all reality, or as reality spun on, the thought more or like became, I am the future king. I have to fill the old king's place. Not fully, of course. He could do as Rennera did; make the orders for guards to hurt the prisoners. But what if all of the prisoners are innocent, or they were forced into doing something?

Now again he thought of Leera. The assassin wasn't forced to be an assassin. From what he gathered from her poorly secreted self was that her father was taken prisoner and- as opposed to only being tortured- was killed while in captivity. Sir Guard assumed Leera became an assassin out of her own good will. She admitted she didn't kill for just anyone. 'I don't kill for people with overloaded bellies. I kill for the people whose ribs I can see, or can't see due to the loose fabric in place of skin' the assassin had said days ago. All in all, Leera wasn't forced to be an assassin, but even then she did the job only when it was fitting for the rest of society. Sometimes it backfired, like now as she was being wrestled onto a stone table. Sir Guard hated himself more than ever.

"I'll keep this simple," the queen practically announced.

Sir Guard couldn't tear his eyes away from Leera. She wasn't looking at him. He wondered if she hated him as much as he did himself. The assassin said before that she didn't hate him, but it was hard to believe, harder to believe than the queen actually being a semi-decent person.

"My future king has had many issues with you before, with your complaining and whimpers. So," She said the last word sharply, suddenly. "I have come up with an idea. I will use- hmm..."

Rennera moved on from the stone table to the nearest wooden one. Sir Guard still watched Leera all the while.

The assassin was held still by thick leather restraints bolted and strapped around the table. There was a seemingly new addition to the table. Sir Guard could tell it was new only by the fact it had no dirt or grime adorning it. It was a...a metal bracket, Sir Guard thought, and it was movable. By the looks of it, it was split in the center and pushed aside when not in use. However when someone lay down on the table, both sides were pushed together and locked in place on either side of the person's head. But why restrict the head?

As if on cue, the queen inhaled and released the breath with a sharp squeal as a shing- as well as some loud clunks- sounded throughout the room. Sir Guard's eyes finally left Leera to see a sharp short dagger glinting in the torchlight. The queen handed it off to the second guard in the room, the non-future king.

Rennera said to the guard now, "You'll cut lines in her lips- vertically. She won't give you trouble. Thank Bliss for new inventions."

That's why, Sir Guard thought mournfully. The torture would be done to Leera's mouth, and therefore her head needed to be as still as the rest of her body. It made him feel sick.

The other guard didn't waste a moment, already trying to figure out the easiest way to complete the task, which he didn't seem to mind doing at all. Sir Guard hoped he was only as great of an actor as everyone else in the room. He doubted it.

"Can I-" The guard gestured to the table, or Leera.

"Whatever will make this a speedy process," the queen answered, and the guard nodded, climbing on top of the table and straddling the assassin, looming over her with dagger in hand.

Leera tried to look away, but cried out as the metal brackets must have dug into her scalp. Sir Guard imagined there were spikes being driven into her head. He swallowed, watching, not saying a word- though he had many he wanted to say. The table was small enough that climbing on top was entirely unnecessary. The queen must have known this. Why did she agree? Sir Guard tried to think hopefully. Perhaps she is only trying to please her guard. Word will spread of cruel treatment of prisoners, but great treatment of the Guard.

"Get off of me!" Leera screeched at the man. "Get off!" She tried bucking her hips if only to knock him off balance, but his knees were well planted on either side of her and he only chuckled at the motion.

Pig, Sir Guard thought disgustedly.

Rennera said as Leera continued to protest, "Grab her mouth at the joints of her jaws."

The man followed instruction and Sir Guard quietly cursed himself. It was he who had done that and the queen caught onto it, using it to her advantage.

Every moment grew worse. Leera screamed and cried, begged between individual slices of skin made by the blade. Sir Guard wanted nothing more than to scoop her off of that stone table and carry into the very woods he found her in.

He considered what would have happened if he hadn't brought Leera back to the queen at all. Could they both have been free? No, of course not. The reason he brought the assassin to Rennera, he knew all along, was because there was no chance of freedom as long as Rennera wanted the assassin. The whole reason he brought her back was so that he had enough time to learn how to reason with the queen and convince her to release Leera. Nothing had changed. This was still the goal. It was just becoming slightly difficult now with the meeting of kings and generals coming up so soon-

No.

A thought struck Sir Guard. Rennera already stated he was to be at the meeting- most likely it would be a conversational dinner. What would happen if he was recognized by the others? The queen thought Sir Guard as only being a bounty hunter. She had no idea it was an act, one used to fool her into keeping him around. He refused to be Leera's guard at first only as a 'playing hard to get', though he didn't expect it would make him worthy of being her next king. Either way, to Rennera, Sir Guard being her king would be the first time he had experience with royalty. It wasn't, and that's why this next 'conference' as she called it would be so dangerous.

******

Part 15 here

[mothmansfriend]

when i’m sad oh god i’m sad (pt. 2)

link to pt. 1

follows a very similar timeline to @tearxofink‘s fic Rules for a Functioning Alcoholic but will prob have differences (such as no established relationships) and takes place in @illogicallyinclined‘s hockey au after the mention of Remus possibly having undiagnosed bipolar disorder

update: i think its important to acknowledge roughly where this takes place in the big timeline bc D doesn’t really drink past freshman yr in this AU because of self preservation and trauma, alcoholism was more an issue before then in high school (when remus and d were Rowdy Boys) but the stress of Logan’s concussion lead to some heavy drinking that was caught quickly by Virgil because Remus Cannot Keep Secrets.

summary: Remus has undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and is dealing with a severe depressive episode in the aftermath of realizing that binge drinking with D wasn’t just his own search to Feel Something, but was also D’s relapse into alcoholism. Remus comes to the realization of lost time during manic episodes and refuses help.

tw: graphic descriptions of a depressive episode, self harm (burning),  suicidal thoughts, and suicidal intent (but not attempt). unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol abuse, mentioned alcoholism, undiagnosed mental illness, miscommunications on shared trauma, ask to tag if i missed any.

There are a number of places that are simply uncomfortable to sleep. Barely sitting up and using the chairs provided by the previous tenants as a pillow is certainly one of them. It takes Remus a moment to identify what woke him up as there's another round of knocking on his door and he doesn’t want to respond. It’s bright out,the sun is blocked from his figure by the curtains covering most of the windows. He hears Roman’s muffled voice as the locked doorknob jiggles, “See? I told you he’s not here, Virge. There’s nothing to be worried about, if he doesn’t show up by tomorrow I’ll go look for him. You know how he is”.

Their footsteps move away and Virgil speaks, “Can you text him? I’m just worried, Thomas said that-” his voice fades as they enter the kitchen.

Remus can barely pick himself off the floor before his phone lit up with a notification.

the shittier twin: You good? LMK when you’re coming home, Virgil is lowkey freaking out  (received: 10:14)

He stares at the words willing his brain to focus as he decides, maybe he should reply.

He sends a photo of a fat pigeon he took outside a club him and D got kicked out of a few weeks ago. It would be clear that the picture was taken at a different time, but does get message of ‘I’m alive’ across. Which is about as much as Remus is willing to communicate to people that haven’t even tried to contact him before now. How sad is it that his twin brother didn’t even check on him until six days later. Or maybe he should be asking if it’s sad that after four days Roman still hasn’t noticed that he’s home, or that it took Roman six to even ask? Remus spends all this time in the theatre and in the arts studio, and still Roman was the only one to ask, though at the request of someone who wants to get mad at him. He considers if maybe that he is a bad person, and that isn’t something he normally would care about, but if he weren’t then people might have checked on him. He usually hangs out with D almost everyday and he swears he’s never been gone more than maybe four days. But no one else seems concerned at all.

He considers reasons why this might be and gets stuck on Roman’s comment that he hasn’t been gone that long, and the implications then of him being gone longer. Things that don’t really make sense, but he knows losing your train of thought and getting distracted is a part of ADHD, but maybe, this is much more concerning. How does he know that he’s only ever been gone so long, maybe those lapses are more than a few minutes of zoning out. Which leads to, does Remus know who he is during these lapses? The contrast between the two prince twins have always been clear in their behaviour, Roman who follows every word their parents whisper in his ear. The boy grew up to be an actor after years of who takes any command without thought at that chance to be on top, and revelled in praise. It’s the cowards way of survival, are you really living if you’re not you? He knows Roman wasn’t quite loving that, but he still complied. Remus has always known exactly who he is and who he always will be. But the uncertainty of who he is in those spaces that seem to be taking up more and more space, maybe he;s been following someones script too?

He’s constantly changing his mind and forgetting where he is, are his feelings his? If everything the thought he knew about himself is slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass than how does he make it stop?

—

Virgil slides into the recently empty chair next to Roman the second Patton gets up to ask the waitress for another round of coffee, he steals one of Roman’s sausages and speaks, “By the way, I’m catching a ride to your place with you and D”.

Roman squawks at the sausage thief, “Why? I already told you Remus isn’t home!”

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Yeah I know, just humour me. I went to talk to Joan before we left and Thomas said Remus texted to apologize for missing practice, he’s never done that before! I just wanna come check, you can make fun of me later or whatever.”

“Fine, whatever, I know you’d just show up anyway. I don’t think him texting Thomas means anything though, even if it is weird.”

“Well we can agree to disagree then.”

—

The entry to the apartment the Prince twins share with D was just as full of banter as expected. D and Roman irritating Virgil without effort but Virgil matching that with his own comebacks and determination to check on Remus. “Alright, Emo Knightmare, let’s go knock on his cave door so I can know you again, that he isn’t home” Roman drops his bag next to the couch and heads down the shared hallway of D, Remus, and the storage closet. D walks past him with comments of a essay due tomorrow and disappears. Roman walks down and knocks on the door sternly once maintaining eye contact with Virgil knowing there will not be a response. Virgil follows him and he knocks again after a moment and jiggles the knocked door handle. “See? I told you he’s not here, Virge. There’s nothing to be worried about, if he doesn’t show up by tomorrow I’ll go look for him. You know how he is.” Roman turns and leads them back out into the living room towards the kitchen.

Virgil pauses for a moment watching the door before he follows, “Can you text him? I’m just worried, Thomas said that he actually texted to apologize for not showing up today. You know when Remus is out he never remembers to charge his phone, it just seems weird.”

Roman exhales and wordlessly pulls out his phone shooting off a text to his twin before pulling some leftovers out of the fridge to offer to Virgil despite the fact they had eaten not long ago. Virgil accepts and he puts it on two plates for the microwave. Roman’s phone vibrates on the counter with a text. The emo leans over to read and snorts, “Wait, is Remus’s name actually ‘the shittier twin’ in your phone? He just send a picture of  what appears to be an obese pigeon, that doesn’t answer my question at all!”

Roman shrugs, “Of course it is, and yeah that sounds about right, it’s like he’s trying to communicate through hieroglyphics, he’s just telling us he’s fine.”

Virgil’s dark eyes examine Roman’s face for any reflection that he’s just trying to make him stop bothering him with his concern, but when he sees nothing he drops his defensiveness, “Yeah, okay, he’s your brother, he’s kind of like a cat I guess. He always comes home right?”

The microwave beeps and Roman slides the extra plate in front of Virgil, “Exactly, he’s just like this, I’ll text you when he comes back. You don’t need to worry about it, Virge.”

Virgil shoots him a small smile before taking his plate to the couch closely followed by the oldest Prince twin as they settle down with Netflix until they need to leave for their respective classes.

—

Roman blearily wipes his eyes as he wakes up in his dark room and rolls over to check the time. 2:34am wake up and bathroom break time. He briefly considers just rolling over and waiting four or five hours until he needs to get up for class, but decides there’s just a higher chance of getting a restless sleep the rest of the night. The hockey captain rolls out of bed standing in his room shirtless and only wearing a random pair of soft sleep pants and stumbles out of his room, crossing the living room and entry way he’s about to try the handle of the dark bathroom door when it opens to reveal a tall dark figure.

Roman jumps back with an admittedly embarrassing squawk before recognizing the dark figure to be a freshly showered, exhausted, and almost weak looking Remus. The two stood in silence for a moment, Remus not even reacting to the sight of his brother. Roman awkwardly laughed for a moment, “Holy shit, Remus! I didn't even realize you were home.”

Remus stares emptily, moving to walk away without replying, Roman stops him with a hand on his shoulder, “Are you like, uh, okay? You kind of look like shit”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say as suddenly Remus’s face hardens into a snarl, “Oh fuck you, Roman.” His voice cracks halfway through but it doesn’t do anything to diminish the venom in his voice, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Christ! If you’re going to be an asshole then nevermind, I just wanted to check up on you. You know, like a concerned brother just might do?” Roman fires back suddenly feeling defensive. The tone of voice Remus uses almost sounds scared to him but he doesn’t have the energy to pry at Remus in the hallway less than 6 feet from D’s door at 2:30am.

“You don’t get to play any kind of concerned brother role right now! You don’t just get to decide to be concerned one day, it’s all about appearances with you, I dont fuck with that!” Remus’s voice raises as he gets more and more riled up, his voice sounds like shit as if he hasn’t used it in days, “Tell me when you think I got home, Princey, huh? You don't know shit about me and it’s time you stopped asking like you do.” He steps towards Roman edging back down the hallway to the living room.

“Why am I supposed to know when you got home?” Roman fires back, “You’re an adult! You’ve taken care of yourself fine for years, I’m not your parent I don’t need to know where you are twenty-four-fucking-seven!”

Vaguely, Roman hears D’s bedroom door open and feels brief regret that was smashed by Remus shoving him backwards. “You don’t need to know! But, did you ever think to wonder? Did you ever once care enough to ask? No! I don’t remember ever being gone more than three or four days.”

Roman recoils for a second in confusion but counters standing his ground, “What does that fucking mean? You own a calendar, a phone, you should know your average in the last year has been like five to seven days, you can’t blame me that you decide to go on a bender every 6 months or less. Can’t you ever grow up?”

“It means I don’t know where I was for two to four of those days at least! You self absorbed prick! Fuck!” Remus crumples for a second, his facial expression looks so, lost. He violently grabs and tugs on his still damp hair. He stands back up face guarded once again. “I know I never go out without a plan, I have paid some fucking terrible prices for that that you never need to know about. But, you’re telling me that I was out there and I don’t remember it? And no one thought to mention anything to me? And you’re asking if I’m ‘okay’? Fuck that, fuck you. I’m going back to my room, and ideally I’ll fucking rot and die before I have to look at you again,” Remus seethes before turning and slamming his door without waiting for a response.

Roman sags at his brothers exiting remarks, making tentative eye contact with D who waits in the dark hallway. “I don’t know what to do,” Roman says quietly.

D moves towards him moving them to the couch offering a comforting touch to the remaining twin, “Roman, I cannot tell you that I have any idea about what just happened. But, it seems like he just wants you to be there for him, in his own weird displays of affection he does love you and I think maybe he’s scared sometimes that you don’t care for him, and he lashes out. But right now, you need to go back to sleep so you can go to your boring nine am lecture, and I’ll try to spend time with him tomorrow. Sound good?”

Roman examines D, letting himself feel vulnerable for a moment but trusts that D knows what to do. He’s known the twins since high school, if anyone knew it would be him. “Thank you, D” Roman whispers, leaning into the little affection for a moment before he stands up and moves them back down the hallway.

Roman goes to the bathroom as originally planned but thinks about the things his younger brother had said. How much is he missing? What does it mean for Remus to simply not remember days at a time? Is it because of drinking too much or something else?

As Roman tucks himself back into bed, preparing himself for the restless sleep he had been trying to avoid. His mind wanders, and he can’t help but think that maybe he should be questioning blood stains on Remus’s carpet a little more.

[ohmandsuch]

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Where else can I find your pictures?

You can find some of my favorites on my instagram, and you can also read about my travel stories with the photographs on my travel blog.

Hey, you deleted my caption! My apologies. For a long time, I deleted all captions: it brought me a lot of stress relief to manage my blog in a clean way that I could easily sort by tags and colors. Categorization porn, I suppose haha. I now try to leave sources in as much as possible, but will delete if it includes negativity, gore, spammy self promotions, etc. I also reblog from everywhere on the assumption that the op pictures are properly sourced, even if most likely they are probably not. I just enjoy scrolling through pretty pictures on my blog, so ultimately, my blog is for me, not for you. but lmk if you want your picture reposted w/ caption.

Who is ohmandsuch? An anonymous being who, for internet purposes, is a genderless, ageless, and bodiless entity who just really likes nature and fantasy. This is actually a sideblog for dumping my photography. If you want my main blog, try frolickingthroughmanatees. I also have a band if you are interested in quirky tunes and weird instrument moods.

What does your name mean? Ohm & Such: an ohm is an S.I. unit of electrical resistance. It’s also a play on ‘Om,’ which is part of the mantra “Om shanti” and has spiritual significance in religions and practices including Hinduism, Buddhism, Yoga, meditation +..... Om shanti has no translatable meaning, but is often said to be an invocation of peace, the sound of the universe, vibration, concentration. I like that this username mixes the physical, natural world with the spiritual world, as well as the westernized “boho” hippy world hahaha

What is your profile picture? My dog, Lucky: a male Australian shepherd / Golden retriever mix who recently passed away after many many MANY happy years of being a very good boy.

Do you take submissions? I would love your recommendations! Especially if you are an original photographer who wants some extra publicity: I only have around 800 followers but would love to do what I can to help your work shine. Or if you just happen to have some awesome pics you think I would appreciate, toss them at me!

love and sunshine, 

-infinite monkeys at infinite typewriters