#llh's love language

[qpjianghu]

Li Lianhua + saying "I love you" without saying "I love you" (2/?)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[extraordinarilyextreme]

Ladies and gentlemen, in recent days, have you been well? I am Di Feisheng. Once, I only wished to comprehend the greatest lost knowledge, and fight another battle with my old foe Li Xiangyi to my heart’s content. But, alongside old friends, and new friends, as we solved cases in all four directions, as well as completed my revenge, it seems that some things are no longer the same. The present me is still willing to intensively study martial arts and dedicate myself to progressing my kung fu. But I will also admire the breaking waves, the rising sun, and the mountains and rivers; I will also enjoy the fireworks of the day-to-day. The wish of my heart is, namely, freedom, stretching as far as the skies and as vast as the seas. I hope you and I can live carefree and traverse the lands unhindered. If it is fated, we will see each other again. - Di Feisheng

[hualianisms]

Not father & son, not master & disciple, but a secret third thing

First of all, let me preface this by being clear that everyone is free to headcanon anything they want and like/dislike anything they like/dislike! That being said, sometimes I see international fans interpret FDB as LLH's son, or their dynamic as parent-child or otherwise familial, and as a native chinese speaker, I just wanted to share some reasons why I personally did not interpret them as familial.

Granted, at the start of the show, FDB is kept in the dark and also not up to LLH's level of skill in solving cases. However, FDB quickly catches up in crime-solving skills, intellect and maturity by the 2nd half of the show, after a well-written growth arc. I think the beauty of the characters and relationships in this show is that they grow & evolve, and are meant to do so. The dynamic that LLH & FDB had in episode 1 is quite different from their dynamic at the end of the show. By the later episodes, they are 2 adults who are very much equals.

Why I don't read them as father & son:

LLH & FDB act and speak in a manner that is far too informal & familiar with one another, which would be extremely inappropriate for any kind of parent & child, even a surrogate one. Several times, FDB calls LLH by just his first name "Lianhua", and sometimes even calls him "Damn Lianhua" when he is angry/upset at LLH. This would be extremely rude for a disciple to call a master, or a son to call a father. No son talks to his father the way FDB talks to LLH, and no disciple talks to their master like that. Unless the son/disciple hates the father/master, and is outright rejecting his father/master altogether. As we see in the show, not only does FDB not hate LLH at all, he instead cares deeply for LLH and would do anything to save him. Why, then would someone scold/curse someone they care about? Does the trope of the upset spouse/partner sound familiar?

For comparison, see FDB's interactions with He Xiaohui, who he is close to - he is informal & affectionate with her, but never calls her anything other than "娘 niang" ("mother"). I can't emphasize enough how taboo it is in Chinese culture to ever call your parent or parental figure by their name under any circumstance.

2. In ep 31, FDB himself explicitly rejects the idea of LLH as his shifu and himself as LLH's disciple, responding that he is too old to be LLH's disciple and it was merely a joke. He clearly sees LLH as an equal, and rejects the notion of their relationship being anything other than that of 2 adult equals. LLH also tells his shiniang that FDB is not his disciple, and a few episodes ago LLH told FDB that he has never understimated FDB.

Coding/hints as something other than platonic:

Zhiji/zhijiao - FDB calls LLH his 知交 zhijiao in ep 19, and 知己 zhiji in ep 34. "In this life, I, Fang Duobing, recognize you as my only zhiji." is practically a love declaration. And this bond is reciprocated by LLH, bc in a deleted line in ep 19, translated by forayuarchive on twitter, LLH is the one who first calls FDB his zhijiao.

To clarify, Zhiji is not specifically a romantic term, but it's what was used in both The Untamed and Word of Honor - both dramas based on danmei novels with canon gay main pairings - to bypass censorship, to code the bond between the main duo as deeper than your typical platonic male friendship. (See this post for a detailed explanation of the significance/history behind the term zhiji, and see this twitter thread for an explanation of the meaning of zhijiao in MLC - especially how zhijiao is specifically mutual, reciprocated).

2. Married bickering - forayuarchive on twitter has discussed in these twitter threads how the tone of many of LLH & FDB's interactions (especially FDB) is similar to how married couples or romantic partners speak to one another bc of the level of familiarity, tone and language. For my fav example, see this note (translation by forayuarchive) that FDB left LLH in ep 35, which reads pretty much like a note that a spouse/partner might write when leaving their shared house in a hurry.

3. "Xiaobao" - Personally as a native Chinese speaker, LLH calling FDB "xiaobao" in front of everyone is a level of intimacy that genuinely would make me feel embarrassed to hear as a third party. 小宝 xiao bao (literal meaning = "little treasure") is usually something you call actual babies/children AND is FDB's family nickname for him, so if you're calling a grown man that in front of everyone including his colleagues, family and even strangers, then one might assume he is likely either your biological family or your romantic partner. (For comparison, just imagine calling your s/o their parent's special childhood nickname for them at work.)

4. Deleted lines where FDB calls LLH "xiaohua'er". 小花儿 Xiaohua'er ("little flower") is very intimate and feels like something someone might call a lover. Or, at least, definitely not a platonic shifu, even less so a parental figure. (For meta on the names that LLH & FDB use for one another, see forayuarchive's twitter thread.)

5. More deleted scenes (translated by forayuarchive on twitter), perhaps cut due to censorship, which make apparent LLH's high regard and deep care for FDB. For e.g., a line of internal monologue by LLH in ep 40, translated here by forhenjun, shows that LLH thinks of FDB as the only person in his two lifetimes who has always treated him as a human being rather than putting him on an unfair pedestal.

6. Official MLC accounts act like as if they ship them.

As murderedbyhomework mentioned, there is a song in the official soundtrack of MLC called "Fanghua's Day-to-Day Life" (yes, the exact same words as their ship name). Sounds like a couple's daily domestic life, doesn't it?

The official iQiYi Romance youtube channel lists clips of LLH & FDB under the romance category.

The official MLC douyin account posts MVs with emotional captions (e.g. this one translated here by forayuarchive) that emphasize how much both LLH and FDB mean to one another. Another official MLC douyin calls LLH & FDB the person each other trusts the most.

The MLC clips posted by the official Guangdong TV weibo account also has captions such as these (translated by rice_jpg) that straight up describe FDB's feelings towards LLH as "when you like someone" (very similar CN phrasing as the phrasing used to describe romantic crushes).

7. They are subtly paralleled with a canon straight romantic couple (see fanqxiaobao's twitter thread on the parallels btwn LXY/QWM scenes and certain LLH/FDB scenes). MLC also made a distinct change from the novel by not having FDB get married to Princess Zhaoling, even though the drama could have easily given FDB a romance with her.

8. If you're familiar with chinese romantic tropes or the danmei genre, LLH & FDB fit many common romantic tropes e.g. sharing a drink on the rooftop under the moonlight, forgotten first meeting in childhood (and then meeting again properly as adults), power couple fighting side by side (they even held hands!), nianxia, protective younger ml, sickly older mc - just to name a few. Danmei even has many stories of shizun/shifu & disciple pairings who fall in love as adult equals.

There's honestly lots more but these are just some off the top of my head. Again everyone is free to interpret anything! This is just me explaining why as a native chinese speaker I personally did not read their dynamic as that of a father and son.

[murderedbyhomework]

Something about that line in 愛蓮說 “sayings out of love for lotus” 可遠觀而不可褻玩焉 (the lotus can only be viewed from afar but not touched and played with), and cheng yi describing Li Lianhua to have a 柔和的冷漠敷衍 (a gentle and soft kind of cold uncaring and carelessness) to him. Something about Li Lianhua forever distancing himself from people when they scream “let me know you let me love you” at him, forever not letting people close even when they’re touching physically, but not because he thinks he’s too noble for it, but because he thinks the people around him are too noble for him, a dying man with very little left in life to tie him to it, to stick around him for long. Llh and his “pushing people away is my love language” because just like the lotus he named himself after, the people around him are truly noble and the gentlemen among men, and he feels near undeserving of them and their presence.

[technicolouredmonochrome]

this is ridiculous but after watching mysterious lotus casebook fang duobing might just be my favourite character of all time???

he's just so endlessly optimistic and idealistic and it's ridiculous at first but he learns and grows and adapts but it doesn't turn him into doom and gloom man just makes him more practical and grounded. he's loyal to the people around him. he makes friends through the sheer power of puppy dog eyes and positivity. he will not hesitate to kill a man for touching LLH, but will also call out LLH when he's being a piece of shit. he has loving parents that he loves just as much in return and doesn't for a second waver when he finds out they are not his birth parents. he knows the power of chosen families. his love language is acts of service. he will never hesitate to stand for what he believes in.

his nickname is xiaobao (aka little treasure) and everyone that loves him calls him that because as much as they love him, they are also in awe of the fact that he would choose to love them in return with the full force of his devotion. LLH looks at this boy with his one memory of LXY that has changed his entire life and thinks: even if the entire world went to shit because of me at least i did one thing right.

i just love fang duobing so so much. and his character in mysterious lotus casebook is a wonderful portrayal of what it means to be optimistic in a world where good may not necessarily win, when you sometimes have to grapple with loss, where you might fight hard for something you believe in and lose it anyway. what it means to fall again, and again, and again. what it means to pick yourself back up. what it means to keep on going.

[bbcphile]

@nutcasewithaknife, your tags are AMAZING!

#THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE BECAUSE YEAH YESSS#i adore this because this bluffing is INTEGRAL to how they get around to trusting each other again i think?#like#after the 10 years dfs is unsure of who lxy has become and llh still sees dfs as the one who betrayed him#and the ensuing bluffing and threats of violence feels like they're poking at the edge of their trust for each other#and every time a promise of violence turns out to be a bluff they know each other a little better#honestly? i think the amnesia arc becomes a turning point because it makes llh realise that dfs ultimately just wants him to live#after all these bluffs any action that dfs has taken is towards that end alone#And by the time they toast to their 10 yr stabbiversary i think dfs is relieved because he too has realised that llh understands his goal#and will trust him and even maybe rely on him henceforth#That's the real tragedy of the final episode isn't it? dfs has complete trudt they're on the same page#that li lianhua understands his goal. that they will not betray each other's trust this time over.#but dfs hasn't realised that llh would decide that his goal was merely holding him back and set him 'free' instead of meeting him halfway#anyways. that was a bit of a tangent but THEY MAKE ME INSANEEE (@nutcasewithaknife)

I agree so much about the way other bluffs and the amnesia arc help them recalibrate their understanding of each other and brings them closer! What breaks my heart about the final episode and the scene where DFS gives LLH the wangchuan flower is that I feel like the initial bluffing about the yin leaves comes back to bite DFS again, given the look of hurt wariness on LLH's face when he says "I thought we were friends now." It feels like he still associates the flower with that initial threat (and possibly never realized it was a bluff), and also thinks that DFS just wants his fight and for him to be LXY not LLH--not understanding that fighting as equals is a love language and communication style for DFS and that the fight was supposed to be a celebration of having survived and overcome their obstacles and their past and finally being together--and so it feels like a lot of the progress they made during the amnesia arc and the newly wed room was erased. And I completely agree that some of it is because LLH wants to set DFS "free," and I also think some of it is that LLH kind of wants to reset things to the way things were when they didn't understand each other as well, because it's easier for him to let go and leave DFS behind to die if he can convince himself that DFS just wants a fight and won't mourn him too much because FDB can replace him. 😭

The Yin Leaves Threat Is a Bluff (MLC Meta)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook fans: Are we ready to talk about how the yin leaves threat was a bluff?

So many people seem to be taking Di Feisheng at his word that he wanted to make Li Xiangyi eat the yin leaves of the Wangchuan flower to regain his martial arts for one last glorious fight and that he was fine with Li Xiangyi dying very painfully from their poison after. And I see why: after all, LLH took him at his word, too, and LLH is famously smart and a good detective.

However, LLH has a history of jumping to false conclusions about DFS and, like the rest of the jianghu, assuming the worst of him: in fact, his mistaken belief that DFS broke the peace treaty and had his shixiong killed is the central misunderstanding that nearly destroyed both their respective sects and each other. So, since LLH is canonically very bad at telling who actually wants him dead and who loves him, it’s worth investigating this further. And looking at DFS’ history of bluffing is a good place to start.

DFS and Bluffing

Di Feisheng has a history of bluffing and/or threatening to kill or torture people when he doesn’t mean it. Here are some of his most notable examples (but click here for a much longer list of things he’s lied about or withheld info about):

Threatening to kill Qiao Wanmian to convince LLH to let him find a cure for Bicha (he doesn’t kill women)

Threatening to torture Gao Qian for information (he searches rooms instead)

Threatening to kill FDB when LLH says he’s trouble (the smirk after shows he was joking)

Threatening to kill Xiao Zijin at the wedding if LLH doesn’t help him get into 188 prisons (LLH walks him into a trap and yet DFS doesn’t even try to hurt XZJ in the fight)

Lying about poisoning and curing QWM to protect LLH’s identity and pretending to kidnap her

In all of those examples, DFS is trying to help or protect LLH, albeit in a very dysfunctional way. In the first example, he’s trying to blackmail LLH into living; the second example is to solve the case to find Shi Hun to expel the Asura Grass so he can find a cure for Bicha; the third is a joke, but also one designed to make LLH admit he does care about FDB because LLH is pretending he doesn’t care about anything as a prelude to giving up once he finds SGD’s body; the fourth is to get evidence that someone framed the Jinyuanmeng so LLH will trust him again and want to live to figure out who really killed his shixiong; and the last is to protect LLH’s identity (even though he only agreed to protect it until the Asura Grass was expelled. He’s trying to prove to LLH that LLH can trust him and he wants to help him, not harm him.)

All that to say: DFS has a history of bluffing about threatening to kill people if he thinks it will help Xiangyi live, and will take on the role of the villain—role the jianghu regularly casts him in—if he thinks it will help. And as some of those examples show, he also doesn’t share his plans with LLH until after the plan has been completed. And just look at all the things DFS withheld from LXY at their first donghai battle if you need more examples: he doesn’t mention that he knows it’s a frame job or why he stole SGD’s body. In all these examples, it’s not just that DFS has control issues and doesn’t want to share theories until he has proof: it seems likely that he knows/assumes LXY wouldn’t have believed him, because LLH already proved he didn’t trust him when he fell for the frame job, broke the peace treaty, and attacked the Jinyuanmeng. DFS assumes that there’s no point in presenting information to someone who won’t listen to it; he’d think it’s a waste of time and energy that could be better spent actively solving the problem.

But Why Bluff About the Yin Leaves?

Yao Mo’s Questionable Loyalty:

When DFS says he just needs LLH to live long enough to compete with him, he’s not talking to LLH himself: he’s talking to Yao Mo. In fact, the entire yin leaves plan was Yao Mo’s idea. And that changes everything.

Why? Well, for starters, Yao Mo is the one who invented the Bicha poison and gave it to JLQ to use on LXY (without DFS’ knowledge or permission). That alone is reason enough for DFS to not know if he can trust him, and this lack of trust explains why DFS never told Yao Mo that the mystery patient was LXY/LLH or that he was poisoned by Bicha. Since JLQ poisoned LXY because DFS paid so much attention to him and to fighting with him, it makes sense that DFS would try to protect LLH by hiding his identity and not drawing attention to him. 

But of course, as soon as Yao Mo figures out the mystery patient was poisoned with Bicha, that secret is blown. The pained face (and Throat Bob of Emotion) DFS makes while Yao Mo is having this realization shows not only how upset he is that they don’t yet have a cure, but also how worried he is that Yao Mo now knows it’s LLH, which makes everything more complicated.

DFS was right that Yao Mo would figure it out, since the first thing Yao Mo does after this realization is tell DFS he’s thought of a way “to heal him so he can compete with you.” DFS had pointedly NOT mentioned competing with him in front of Yao Mo yet (to hide LLH’s identity), so this is definitive proof that his cover is blown and that DFS needs to find a new way to keep LLH safe. 

This new plan is to downplay how much LLH means to him, and that motive explains so much about this scene. We know from watching him grieve and tear up while mourning LLH at his personal waterfall after his enthronement ceremony that DFS is miserable because of LXY’s supposed death and that he doesn’t see the point in fighting anymore without him, so we know that one last fight with LXY wouldn’t fix that: he’d still be dead and DFS would still be devastated. 

(Here are some screenshots of him mourning at the waterfall.)

But this isn’t common knowledge. In fact, it seems to be a closely guarded secret; he’s mourning in private, with only Wuyan as a witness. In public and to the rest of his subordinates, he’s trying to project the attitude of the unemotional, unflappable, heartless demon of the jianghu because his reputation is part of his armor that keeps him safe. It lets him seem like he doesn’t have any weaknesses (since “a swordsman shouldn’t have weaknesses”), and it keeps people from knowing that his primary weakness (other than the mind control bug) is LXY/LLH. 

(NOTE: He’s not even comfortable with anyone other than Wuyan and the three kings knowing he cares more about reaching the pinnacle of martial arts than he does about the Jinyuanmeng itself, and it’s not clear if any of them know that he mainly wants to increase his strength and power to free himself from the mind control bug. That’s how closely he guards his vulnerabilities.) 

With that in mind, if he wants to keep Yao Mo (and therefore JLQ) from knowing how important LXY is to him, there’s only one possible answer to Yao Mo’s question about whether he’d mind if LLH dies from the yin leaves after the fight: pretending he wouldn’t object. If he said he’d give up a fight rather than let LLH die from the yin leaves, then Yao Mo would know LLH matters to him more than fighting, which would be revealing a weakness. If DFS said he would give the entire Wangchuan flower to LLH to cure him and would therefore be sacrificing his chance of getting stronger, it would be painting an even larger target on LLH’s back and showing Yao Mo that endangering LLH would be the key to controlling him. The only safe option for both LLH and DFS is for DFS to claim he doesn’t care if LLH dies after they fight and to give orders to find the flower.

Here’s a gif of his command about the Wangchuan flower:

Notice his furrowed brow, the tightness around his eyes and mouth, the way he’s almost wincing as he gives the order? He is miserable about having to play this game and his incredible poker face is barely up to the task.

Here’s a still image of right after the pronouncement; you can still see the barely suppressed wince.

After this command, he dismisses Yao Mo from the cave immediately so he doesn’t have to keep pretending he’s going to sacrifice LLH. The entire time Yao Mo is present, even while he’s walking away, DFS holds himself completely motionless, staying in character from the bluff and desperately waiting to be alone with LLH. The instant Yao Mo is gone, DFS slumps in relief, or at least, does his version of a slump: he bows/droops his head as though the weight of what just happened was too much to shoulder. 

Here’s a close-up of his reaction:

DFS’s relief at being alone with LLH shows that he believed LLH knew him well enough to know when he was bluffing.

He was wrong. 

LLH: Believing the Worst of DFS (again)

LLH’s belief that DFS wants to kill him for a duel makes sense, since at this point, he still thinks DFS did in fact have SGD killed and broke the peace treaty, and he’s pissed off, feeling betrayed, and also in pain (from the medicine and the Beifeng Baiyang transfer that made him cough up blood, and from all the snake bites–he’s primed to read those as exclusively aggressive and cruel attempts to heal him at all costs for the fight, and not to realize that DFS would absolutely do all these things to himself to heal his own martial arts without batting an eye. And he’s in too much pain to see the horrified look on DFS’s face when LLH coughs up blood and DFS realized he almost killed LLH while trying to cure him.) 

But that doesn’t mean LLH is right. 

DFS, upon seeing that LLH has again cast him as the heartless villain, doesn’t try to dispute it. In the same way that he didn’t explain about why he took SGD’s body at the donghai battle, he doesn’t explain himself about the flower, possibly because he thinks he doesn’t have time to waste arguing. His goal is to get LLH to live–he grieved him for a decade, after all, and doesn’t want to have to do it again–and he is painfully aware that he is running out of time. LLH hasn’t exactly been subtle about only staying alive to find and bury SGD’s body, and now that they’ve accomplished that, he wants to make sure LLH doesn’t give up. Growing up in Di Fortress, DFS probably learned how to recognize what it looks like when people give up on life, and seeing those signs in LLH would explain some of the desperation behind his actions.

So, what does he do instead of trying to convince LLH the threat was a bluff? Here’s a gif of his response:

He swallows his disappointment at being thought a heartless killer–bowing his head again and shaking it, then looking up at the cave roof in exasperation–and takes a long, long inhale to collect himself and to quickly brainstorm a new plan. Once he’s figured it out, he says LXY’s name and launches into stage 2 of his plan to convince LLH to live: correcting the initial misunderstanding that first led LLH to not trust him anymore. 

DFS tries to convince LLH that someone conspired against both of them a decade ago–the truth he thought LXY wouldn’t believe him about on the ship–because if that worked, then it would solve two problems: 1.  LLH might believe him that he doesn’t want to kill him for the rematch if he knew he hadn’t had SGD killed, and 2. LLH would choose to stay alive to find SGD’s real killer and get revenge. 

And when LLH doesn’t believe his initial attempt, he gives what is possibly his longest speech in the entire show detailing the evidence supporting his claim that they were both set up and offers to help him find the truth in exchange for their rematch. While he definitely does want a rematch, DFS mentions it here in part because LLH thinks it’s all he cares about; if he were to offer to help without requiring the fight, LLH would be less likely to believe him and even more suspicious of his claims, especially since LLH currently thinks DFS would kill him for said rematch.

But unfortunately, his plan for them to team up fails as he thought it would all those years ago, so he decides to play along with being the heartless villain LLH thinks he is, and it’s only then that he threatens to kill FDB (revealing FDB’s parentage in the process), because he knows that LLH would stay alive to protect FDB. 

I have another 2000+ words worth of thoughts about his talk and fight with FDB–the way he tries to “kidnap” him first instead of fighting him, the way he looks miserable during the fight instead of enjoying it the way he did during the fight at QWM and XZJ’s wedding–but it will have to wait for another meta because this is already way too long as it is. The point, though, is that he’s not fighting FDB because he wants to or is enjoying hurting him: he actually hates every second of it and of performing the role of jianghu villain LLH has once again cast him in. But he’s doing it because he thinks it’s the only way to keep LLH alive. 

These aren’t the actions of someone who just wants to sacrifice his old rival for a fight; they’re the actions of someone trying everything he can think of to keep the person he loves alive. It’s an incredibly convoluted way to show his care, but given that he’s desperate, out of time, and can’t get LLH to trust or believe him, it makes sense that he’d fall back on a reliable skillset that’s kept himself alive despite all the odds: bluffing, keeping his true goals a secret, adopting the mantle of villain, and letting himself be hated for things he hasn’t done.

With both the fight with FDB and with the yin leaves threat, DFS plays the villain to try to force LLH to live, because he’d rather LLH hate him and live than love him and die. 

Because Di Feisheng has never wanted Li Xiangyi–or Li Lianhua–dead.

[skymoonandstardust]

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2 ,  chapter 3

Chapter 4

An: sorry this one is short. Haz and reader finally meet though, so that’s something! next part will be longer, i promise. 

Burning. Scorching pain was all Harrison felt. His heart was pounding, either from the terror filled dream he had just left or from the pain, he couldn't tell. Someone was groaning somewhere in the room and It took him a second to realize it was him.

From the sterile smell of chemicals in the air and the very medical looking try beside his bed the part of Harrison that was conscious and sane realized he was in some kind of hospital.

But where? . .this obviously isn't Asgard.

Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to conjure any memories of what had happened and how he got here. . .but there wasn't much. Just a disjointed image of the throne room full of gods laughing and cheering at him, then a pain between his shoulder blades and blackness. 

It makes no sense! . . .but I have bigger things to worry about.

Frantically his eyes roved the room, trying desperately to see anything that could tell him where he was but there wasn't much there either. He could see a blank black rocky wall that suggested somewhere underground, but that didn't tell him a lot. It could still be nearly any of the nine world's and the bookcase full of books wasn't very useful. Mostly because the spines were too far away to detect what language they were written in. 

Suddenly Harrison heard steps approaching.  Without even thinking he surveyed his surroundings again and once more came up with nothing.

Not a single thing in reach to help me defend myself. Just my luck. 

A second of thought did away with the possibility of pretending to sleep. Whoever it was had obviously heard him so there was no use faking. The only thing to do was to wait and meet whoever was coming. 

A gorgeous lady in a midnight black dress rounded the corner. The dark crown glinting on her head kept him from making the mistake of Calling her a nurse or matron, but he hardly noticed it. The fact that she looked half dead was more than a bit distracting.

Next to her E/C eye a dull lifeless white one glimmered and the one side of her body looked blackened as though it was dead and rotting away before his eyes.

Harrison tried to keep the horror out of his eyes and not flinch away but he saw in her face that she had seen it anyway, seen it and accepted it as though it was to be expected and she got it everyday.

Probably because she does, you twat.

He immediately felt guilty and looked down, pretending to nod in greeting, masking his regret as a sign of respect.

"My lady." 

She nodded back, lips still pursed.

"Your highness. We are honored to have you with us."

"Thank you," Harrison shifted and cleared his throat, "but where exactly is here? Do you know what happened?"

"I don't. All I know is that my border guard found you and brought you to me as you are, and I was hoping you could tell me why you're down here."

She sank down in a chair with a sigh. "But of course it wouldn't be that easy.He'd make sure it wasn't." 

She seemed to be talking more to herself than to him, but Harrison spoke up anyway. 

"Him? Him, who?"

The Queen went on like she hadn't heard him.

"I can at least tell you where you are though. You died somehow and came to my realm, Helheim."

It suddenly seemed like there was no air in the room. 

"H-helheim. So you must be?" 

Hel nodded, her face screwing up in even more displeasure before she stood and gave him a mocking curtsey that seemed to make more fun of herself than of Harrison.

"Yes I'm Hel, daughter of Loki and the giantess Angerboda and ruler of the Underworld. Welcome."

"Thanks." Harrison chuckled dryly. "I feel all comfy and cozy now." 

Her lip lifted slightly, letting a smile flicker across her face for a second before it was gone and she was examining him intently, as though he was an interesting pile of bones or the next person on her torture list and she was deciding how to play with him. 

"You seem to be taking this very well, Odinson." 

Harrison raised an eyebrow. "And you thought I'd be cowering and weak? Is that how you wanted me?”

The instant the words were out he knew he'd made a mistake. The pain and anger in her eyes hurt him more than his wound ever had as she stared him down with her unnerving mismatched eyes, lips pressed into the grimmest line yet. 

"I am not my father."

Harrison felt the need to point out that wasn't really an answer but, it was answer enough for him so he just nodded awkwardly again and risked a glance at her. 

"I know, my apologies. You're not Loki any more than I'm Odin."

The few stringy H/C hairs bounced with the full luscious locks on the other side. 

The silence dragged on as Harrison found himself examining her again. Try as he might, Harrison couldn't get over her appearance. Half of the queen’s face was flawless skin, gorgeous H/C hair and a deeply stunning E/C eye. If he had seen only that side facing him he would have thought without doubt that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and cower. . . obviously the inheritance of her father, Loki, who was indisputably handsome among the gods.

The other side made her seem like an exhumed body.  Blackened wrinkled rotting flesh led him up till he was gazing once more into the lifeless glazed white eye. Only a few of the H/C hairs cling on stubbornly, as though they refused to be decomposed with the rest. 

I have no idea which side is worse. . .

 Hel cleared her throat and spoke suddenly.

"You will find that you are well known and loved here as you were everywhere else. We are honored to have you. So, as Asgard and Midgard grieve, we will hold a celebration for your arrival. As soon as you are well enough for it, I will hold a feast in your honor to welcome you properly."

Harrison's mind started racing and his brow furrowed. Unfortunately his confusion didn't go unnoticed.

Hel's forehead furrowed as she looked at him

"What's wrong? You're not pleased with that?"

 "What? No! thank you, I'm glad to hear that and eagerly looking forward to it. . . But, I'm. I'm just--surprised.

"Why?" 

Her half blank stare bored into his blue eyes, clearly issuing a challenge.

She wants me to say it. Fine, I will. Nothing less than she deserves after everything.

"Well it's just. . .my father was the one to condemn your brothers. He sent you here. So. . ." He trailed off, not quite sure how to end and not daring to say the words.

"So you would expect me to torture you for all eternity sooner than honor you and give you comfort."

Harrison tried to speak but really, what words could he say after that? It was true, but she seemed to be expecting an answer anyway so he simply nodded.

"As you said, you are not Odin, and I am not Loki."

Hel stood, nodded to him once more and walked off without waiting for another word, and Harrison found himself staring after her.

Yes, I think I'm beginning to understand that. . .

@madmadmilk @hollandroos @hazmyheart @marvellous-holland @queenofmotherfuckingterrasen @aidiastyles @hey-its-grey @mysmileyspideyboi  @pascalispedro @a-sea-of-fandoms @scarlettsoldier @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious @scarlettsoldier  @fangirl-who-dreams @esoltis280 @theresnofandomforthis @cassiopeia-barrow  @dragonangel-funandfire @iaiabear @coffeeismylife28 @katiegoddessofmischief

LLH taglist: @the-crazy-fanfictionist @spideygirl2003 @allegra-writes @rebekkah4766 @musicandbokkslovingweirdo @petersoftboyparker @fanficparker

[letslearnhangeul]

[Blog Update] 7.7.19

Hello Everyone!  Thank you so much for being patient with me on my very unexpected and long hiatus.

I am glad to announce that I am returning to this blog!  Life happened and I was very busy this year trying to take care of myself and my studies as I have just wrapped up 50% of my undergraduate career so I hope you guys & gals understand.

[Some Updates on Myself & My Blog]

Let’s Learn Hangeul launched about 3 years ago as a small passion project of mine to help myself learn more Korean and share the knowledge/journey with the community on Tumblr.  I love learning languages.  It’s been so much fun getting to share my journey with you guys and watch my blog grow, and so inspiring to receive overwhelming support from a wonderful community who supports my interest in studying foreign language.  In terms of my blog, here are few small changes to look out for:

·        name/url spelling correction from “hangul” to “hangeul

·        new banner inspired from the old one

·        new avatar/icon designed by my self! (I’m lowkey proud it almost looks like my own airlines or something haha)

Which segues into the next section ->

[New Business & What to Expect]

The revamped look is only the beginning.  After doing some clean up and reflection, I realized that one of the biggest challenges in producing my own content was finding infographics/designs for the content I wanted to put out.  But, I realized that as a result of working in some pre-professional student orgs, I developed a skill set to start developing my own content and make is as original as I want it to be.  This means that moving forward, I hope to produce:

·        content centered around monthly/weekly themes

·        vocabulary lists/grammar & sentence structure lessons

·        history/entertainment/holiday bits

I am still getting used to the new program and self-design, and each of my posts will now contain a LLH (Let’sLearnHangeul) mark as well.  I am in the process of making more content so please be patient!

Once again, thank you so much to everyone who supports my blog and continued to breath life into it while I was gone!  Let’s continue making great progress, together!

[qpjianghu]

Li Lianhua + saying "I love you" without saying "I love you" (1/?)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[kingsandbastardz]

Yeah it doesn't matter how much you love your parents or whether they're very close with you - there are some things you just don't want to say or show to them. I 100% agree that they didn't start as friends and that their first impressions were trash. On one hand, FDB was trying to establish hierarchy with a guy he saw as being an arrogant upstart with delusions of his own self worth/abilities. His repeated attempts to establish a pecking order was totally his expression of that. But...on the other hand - out of every other possible insulting relationship he could have picked to show his dominance, why did he chose sifu? He had enough fuel to argue that his rank was higher (easily could have chosen master for "I'll take charge of you bc you're so lowly and pathetic.") but he went with the thing that involves reciprocity in behavior when what he really wanted was for DFS to acknowledge him as his better. lmao. I guess this means he also wants to be acknowledge as being smarter, more learned, having more to offer.

I feel like this points to a certain type of upbringing where he was taught to take charge of people seriously. It isn't just about being insulting, but also "I'll teach you real kungfu." I mean yeah he was being a little shit. But I'm willing to bet he'd actually take it seriously if DFS took him up on the offer against all expectations. (he wouldn't like it, but he'd actually put thought to it and try to teach him something or at least protect him lmao)

The interesting thing about the trust issue is how he trusted dfs to not harm him, but didn't trust him with LLH. So I wonder if it's partially himself taking a sort of responsibility over dfs' actions in that he thought he could physically manage him or whether he was treating it like having two dogs that don't like each other and managing the situation in the easiest way he could think of: keep both parties apart.

He didn't like dfs' violence, but if he can trust him to handle himself well with menial tasks or things requiring strength? He'd appreciate someone who works so I can easily see him as having ideas that DFS was ultimately trainable. That is until he found out he was actually that DFS. Which brings up the question - did he ever figure out whether DFS had an issue with his martial arts, or did he continue to assume that DFS was tricky and had been faking helplessness all along? I mean, later on when looking back at things and understanding how big of a liar LLH had been. Or did he assume LLH and DFS had been mysteriously colluding with each other?

DFS revealing himself completely to fdb in the pear array of longing/lost love/whatever that thing is called -- i would personally be like wtf how do you hide that level of power? Ppl with any level of training should be feeling it just by him sitting quietly in the next room. (side note: these kinds of complete reveals is always accompanied in my head with implied vulnerability. Not physically in this case, but usually something emotional or psychological. In this case, I point toward the intrigued oh-no-he's-hot moment from fdb's pov. And dfs' playful, almost flirtatious, behavior as he's being ganged up on. And also skill-and-power as the implied language they share between the two of them as an ongoing conversation.)

I love dfs being fdb's equal from his own standpoint. But I keep getting the idea that fdb wants to establish certain kinds of boundaries regarding their relationship if only because Fdb is the type that talks. He needs to discuss things. Things went sideways with LLH because LLH refused to communicate over lying. But at least he does talk. DFS.... obviously doesn't. He talks so little, llh developed the ability to read his mind to understand him. So it's like FDB still uses the old language of himself being the good hero and DFS being 'the great big demon' like he's still that child at the beginning of the series treating everyone like they're storybook characters -- though he's clearly progressed past that emotionally by the end of the series. His mouth and mental definitions still haven't changed because as far as we know, he and dfs hasn't had important conversations yet.

I have mixed feelings about the care FDB makes LLH accept because while it comes from a good place, like you kind of said - where he sees this as the type of understanding he wished he had as a child. But if you remove the understanding from the care itself, this is what he had from his parents where they tried to anticipate and provide for his needs/wants until they thought he was hurting himself. In a way he's replicating this with LLH - and just like his parents, he came to the realization that LLH (and himself) would do what they'd want regardless of what the caretakers want - which is for them to be safe. At the very least, I think he came away from all this with a better understanding of what his parents went through.

And back to fdb venting his energy at DFS who doesn't mind because:

it gives him a chance to play around

he can absorb it without damage.

he likes seeing fdb become exponentially stronger - it tickles his lizard brain in the fun sword place

FDB is cognizant dfs is a human and not an object so wouldn't take it too far since they're part of the same unit, but he's still going to come out of the other end of their interactions with a bit of a buzz. Think of him as being a human rage room. You know the ones where people can go for an hour or two and without being judged, they smash every piece of china and furniture in there?

DFS is like a mild version of that room except none of the dishes will break. Until he does. I wonder what will happen in a post canon where DFS might potentially have ptsd surrounding violence framed as either mastery or a game? Which isn't what these two do at all, but there might be enough hints of similarity to trigger memories... Or would he lean into this to purge his hind brain of fear through exposure and FDB is the one that gets weirded out?

Anyway. One last thought about LLH giving DFS and FDB to each other. I love that the letter is given to FDB while it's addressed to DFS. I've been in situations like this as a kid where a parent will be talking to someone else, but I fully understood the implied and silent direction would be for me to follow up repeatedly with the other kid and to ensure their safety, or that they follow the instructions, or supply any help they might need to complete that task. DFS is not llh's responsibility because he's a grown ass adult - that's why he phrased it as "If you are interested" at him. But for FDB it was very much - "Follow him. Keep an eye on him. Pick fights with him if you have to. It's very important to me that you take care of him Make sure he's ok."

mysterious lotus casebook is about a generation of people stuck in time, and one boy who's the age they all were when they stopped moving forward but unlike them he still gets a chance to be Young

[qpjianghu]

Li Lianhua + saying "I love you" without saying "I love you" (3/?)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[qpjianghu]

Li Lianhua + saying "You were my brother, Shan Gudao, I loved you" without saying "I love you" (4/?)

Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023)

[murderedbyhomework]

There's a saying somewhere on the cn fandom that 如果角姐是戀愛腦，李相夷便是師兄腦 (if jiao liqiao is love brain, Li Xiangyi was shixiong brain) and like it's so true tho. Like we as a random do not talk about just how much Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua loved his shixiong, even outside the obvious "spending his remaining 10 years with the one goal of finding his shixiong's remains and immediately giving up on fighting against death after finding sgd to the extent where dfs had to bring out the big guns to get llh to continue living for a while".

There's way too many stuff I could talk about but I'll briefly talk about Wenjing. As depicted in canon, Wenjing was sgd's 18th birthday present for lxy, made from Yun Metal (not that lxy knew it at the time). The name of the sword itself says a lot about lxy's love for his shixiong. Wenjing (刎頸）refers to the phrase 刎頸之交, aka "a friendship/relationship one would slit their throat for, referring to friendships where one would willingly and gladly lay down their life for the other". Li Xiangyi is the one who names this sword, and he directly references this phrase when naming the sword. One could say wenjing was a symbol of just how much sgd meant to lxy.

So how much does wenjing mean to Li Xiangyi/Li Lianhua? Going off canon, lxy was a bit of a peacock, and he liked to show off things he deemed impressive, yet for things that were actually really important to him, such as his love for cheap candy, he kept close to his chest. So what about Wenjing? It's a beautiful sword, and very well made, but Li Xiangyi never showed it off to anyone and kept it extremely private, because in his opinion, sgd's gift was something he wanted to keep just for himself. As top of the Jianghu, a lot of him was shown to the public and under public scrutiny, everything about him placed on the spotlight, placed on a pedestal, yet lxy was possessive enough over this sword to keep it to himself, like a secret only his shixiong and himself would know.

And then there's lxy always keeping wenjing on him even during his years as llh. As lxy, he had shaoshi as a sword already, and he didn't need another sword on him, not really, because he's proven that even disarmed he's not defenseless, but he kept wenjing on him anyway, because it was probably a symbol of his shixiong's love for him. And as llh, he would continue keeping the sword on him, despite being a wandering doctor who supposedly knew no martial arts and would be too poor to have such a beautiful sword.

And finally, llh chose to destroy shaoshi instead of using it to end himself (it's canon he literally said to shaoshi "using you to end me is rather inappropriate"), but despite wenjing later being revealed as, in fact, a sign of sgd's betrayal and hate of llh, llh never destroyed that it. He did throw it into a cliff face so no one could ever reach it again (low key excalibur situation hmn), but in my mind, it wasn't ever an action of hate against sgd, not a rejection of his gift, but rather llh throwing wenjing away from himself before he could actually get really mad and destroy this gift from his shixiong. He might have left wenjing behind when he went off to die, but we all know Llh's love language is abandonment.