#lizard snake glasses beard beanie

[space-salaman]

pov: toni learns to cook 🥞 more pancake memes? more pancake memes.

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[originaljediinjeans]

Endgame Retcon #2: Hulk and Rocket show up to New Asgard. “Where’s Thor?” “He...only comes out once every so often.” Valkyrie leads them into a patch of forest higher up the fjord. They are fortunate and run across Thor. He’s a mountain man, dressed in plaid and wearing a wool beanie, he still has the heinous hair and beard, and he takes generous sips of liquor from a hip flask. He jovially offers to take Hulk and Rocket exploring in the woods with him to look for animals and identifies some of the trees and plants surrounding them, excitedly points out an animal scat he spots under a bush, being a shameless nerd about his new passion. They follow him back to New Asgard. Korg and Miek are in the front room of his house playing video games. Stormbreaker is hung over the fireplace. Thor offers his guests beverages and refreshes himself by downing a whole bottle of whiskey. (Still alcoholic) Then Thor leads them to the back room to show his guests his pride and joy. Several Asgardian children and their parents are gathered in a room full of glass tanks, each containing some kind of reptile and a heat lamp. Thor shows off the specimens to Hulk and Rocket, a couple of turtles, a few lizards, some snakes. Once the other visitors go home, Thor opens the biggest case and pulls out a four-foot ball python, which he introduces as Loki, and which he insists is THE Loki, his brother, back from the dead. Loki gets put back in his tank, and Thor takes his guests back to his quarters. He offers them more alcohol and takes another drink himself. Valkyrie is following and watching the whole time with patient annoyance. Thor sits down on the couch with Korg and Miek and plays video games with them for a few minutes. Rocket and Hulk give him the schpeel about them getting a second chance to stop Thanos. Thor is only reluctantly convinced once they mention that they’ve got beer on their ship. And plenty back at Avengers HQ. 

Thor dies a glorious death in the final battle (idk, not sure how else it would end for him, for better or worse). The people of New Asgard welcome home the people who were snapped with rejoicing, and hold a victory feast to commemorate the defeat of Thanos. There was already a city council running the town with Val at the head, and with Thor gone and no other surviving heirs of Odin they decide to appoint Val permanently to the position of Mayor, with an elected Governor as co-ruler. 

After Thor’s death, the Asgardian kids come back to Thor’s reptile room and find that the tank with the biggest snake is empty. 

Loki, returned to his normal shape, watches from the edge of town and takes a drink from a liquor flask. He’ll wander the universe committing mischief for the rest of his days, always mourning for his family, but he’ll always wander back to New Asgard once in a while and mingle with his fellow Asgardians as a slightly familiar stranger, hang out on the dock or drink ale with them in the tavern, or just check on Valkyrie. And he is always welcome at Korg and Miek’s place to play video games.