#liz: Ur Experiences Are Not Universal
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vacantgodling · 1 year ago
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For the pride asks!
1. Which labels do you use?
7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?
15. How has your identity changed over time?
<3 MJ
MJ!!! happy pride ��💛 i’ll do this for me & ur favorite vampire boys (so darren, gabe, n & beau :>)
1. Which labels do you use?
i personally use queer (my sexuality is mad complicated and i can’t really find a term that i like. if i were to pick something close i’d say achillean or mlnb/mlm really resonates with me & i love that damn toothpaste flag in part out of spite) & transmasc (i consider myself a trans man for the most part but my relationship with being a Man is complicated by being nd/black etc so transmasc in itself feels right but i also like genderqueer — queer is my favorite tbh)
for darren he’s bi!
gabe is demiromantic demisexual & he’s gay. he kinda learns that he’s these things throughout the story bc he’s like deadass never been attracted to anyone until he and darren start getting close and he doesn’t really know what to do with himself lmao
n is a transman & tbh he hasn’t thought about his sexuality too much cuz he’s married to his ambition 💀 he would definitely say he’s queer but he doesn’t really care too much about defining himself too hard bc until beau he had No Plans of being with anyone romantically or sexually lol. not bc he doesn’t feel that kind of attraction or anything, he’s just been more focused on his career lmao
beau is pansexual :3c also he’s a vampire which is just being inherently queer in he & n’s universe.
7. Are you the "token" queer person in your family?
for me, nah. two of my older cousins are gay and there’s probably more but i’m not close to my fam. i am however the token trans person 🤪
for darren nah, both his parents (dave & liz) are bi, and olice has some gender fuckery/aspec vibes going on but she doesn’t really have labels for anything yet.
gabe technically no? but he doesn’t really talk to his mom about this type of stuff lol. + being a millennia+ old celestial vampire… sexuality and labels are just cute human concepts to her. it’s different for gabe bc he was born on earth and while not raised like “human” or anything he doesn’t have the same experience as the few other celestials around.
n, definitely yes. his mom is super supportive but he doesn’t talk to his grandparents.
beau doesn’t know his birth family so that’s a complicated question. apart of the larger vampire “family” definitely not lol. in this universe, even being a vampire is a status of being queer so.
15. How has your identity changed over time?
for darren it was more straightforward he liked boys growing up and realizing he could like girls was kind of a secondary thing? he’d say it’s cuz of the whole cooties debacle from youth and he took that shit too seriously as a kid, so he never really had girl or femme id-ing people he hung out with until olice came into his life and then after that he realized oh, shit. yeah girls hot also awooga. (not bc of her she’s a sister to him but him realizing oh i can talk to girls and not die, oh they’re hot too)
gabe really didn’t have any type of sexuality awakening until darren lmao like it’s kind of funny. if you asked him before he would say he was aroace bc he didn’t like anyone and even his close friends didn’t spark anything in him. darren was different tho—he flustered him and he liked being around him and Maybe wanted to kiss him? so that’s when he realized he was probably demi instead bbhggh
n was one of those i knew i was queer from birth types so he doesn’t feel like the journey was with his identity, just more getting the curtain to match the drapes—or, getting how he presented outwardly to match his feelings inward. he was one of those athletic tomboys who hated being associated with girl shit, etc but had grandparents who raised him try to force him into that box, which is why he doesn’t talk to them now.
beau is also similar to n; bc being a vampire is inherently queer in their universe (in general too probably but yknow), because he was turned so young (around 5) he’s always felt inherently queer so there wasn’t much of a Journey to figuring himself out in that sense.
and then my long ass answer under the cut
when i was younger i never liked being a girl. but i didn’t really think of myself as a boy either? i just thought of myself as “deadname” and that was the extent of everything. i hated being feminine but i didn’t really resonate with being a “boy” because i didn’t like sports and the like. at some point i kind of just accepted that i was a “tomboy” but i still just felt like “deadname” that was my gender lmao. at least up until 8th grade where (2) things happened. (1) i found yaoi and (2) i had a Queer Awakening experience. for the first part i’d been really into japanese anime and shit for a long time but when i discovered yaoi and saw 2 men being able to love each other romantically and sexually it really opened up my worldview. i kinda never thought about having a partner. i’d had people say they liked me before but i just never felt like… into them? but looking back it’s probably bc i knew they saw me as a girl and that’s what i didn’t like i just didnt know that lmao. but seeing yaoi made me subconsciously realize that i would want a partner if it was like That. i didn’t know what That was at the time (the that being, me also being a dude lmao). and the queer awakening was when i was coming back from a school trip and my friend at the time fell asleep on me with her head on my shoulder. and i just remember thinking so so VIVIDLY “omg it’s like i’m her boyfriend” and the idea of it filled me with euphoria?? i tried to think “nah i should be thinking gf bc i’m a girl right?” but my brain rejected that Immediately. after that when i got into tumblr in hs i kind of started learning more about being gender-fluid and so i kind of dabbled in that—bc around that time the friends and gf i had were very like. oh boys suck and shit and i couldn’t just be a boy without feeling some type of way? but i definitely wasn’t Just a girl. i tried to convince myself maybe i wasn’t a boy at all bc i still didn’t feel like i could be one—i still didn’t like boy shit. i liked wearing skirts (at the time), i liked dress up games and feminine shit… so clearly i had to be Partially a girl? so it kept me in the closet for a long bit until i finally was like nah i’m like. just. a dude. a guy. all of this gender shit kind of went hand in hand with my sexuality bc i always hated the insinuation that i was a lesbian (which happened a lot, got called lesbo, my mom kept asking me if i was a lesbian bc i was physically affectionate with my would become hs gf at the time—and i realize now off topic that tbh i wouldn’t have dated her if my mom and her mom and other people weren’t putting pressure on it to be romantic? like friends can hold hands and cuddle for fucks sake Lmao) bc i’m not a girl or a woman lmao. i didn’t really like being bi either bc at the time i thought it was only being attracted to men and women and what about nb people (i’ve learned better now but this was in hs) plus my own gender was up in the air so like???? pan was my go to and i really felt at home in that label for many years. until i think a few years ago where like idk how to explain well but i just realized while i do think women can be pretty and even sexy i’m just not like. attracted to them in the same way that i’m attracted to men or nb people that aren’t femme leaning. so that’s why mlm/mlnb feels right to me? like my partner’s agender for instance lmao, but they’re my self proclaimed goth hibimbo and they tend to dress femme bc they like the fashion so like. it’s not the presentation of femininity that i’m not attracted to? so in that sense i still feel like it’s not quite correct but. words are dumb we move.
this was so long rip
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bluehwale-main · 1 year ago
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UR WEAK RIZ WILL work universe pls let liz experience being loved by tue most sweetest kindest cuz she always deserves the utmost best nd ntg else
okay ykw im ditching tht guy IM IN LOVE WITH U!!!
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motherstyle-a · 6 years ago
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it’s a myth that kids are cruel, because we don’t grow out of it.
poetry    starters   ,     accepting  .
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cool      in     regard    ,         from     above     the     rims     of    glasses     ,        cigarette    coming    away    from    rose    lips    in    careless    puff    of    smoke     .           attention     to     the     other     has    been    fickle     past    the    point    of    filling    drink    order         –––        focus     much     more    content    to    linger     on    the     prose    of    dreiser    ,          &       the    occasional    turn    of    a    worn    page    .        spoken     word     is     enough    to    gain    it    back    ,      though    ,       even    if    only    for    a    moment    .        even     in     timbre     ,        neither    here    nor    there    ,       but     a    hint     of     sardonic     slip   ,              ❛               –––         i    suppose    some     of    us     don’t    .            ❜
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marvelouspeterparker · 4 years ago
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professor’s sweetheart
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pairing: professor!tom holland x student!reader
summary: professor holland teaches british literature at your university. you hadn’t expected much when you signed up for the course, but the experience is everything and more than you could have hoped for. 
word count: 15.1k
warnings: there is smut in here but it’s not the main focus (wild, i know)
notes: uh yeah i’d say just don’t fuck your professor? this is purely fictional. be safe, you know how it is <3
also she wrote a professor!harry styles fic, but if i hadn’t read that (over and over) i probably wouldn’t have been inspired to write this. so check out @songbirdstyles​ !
i listened to this playlist while writing it if ur interested :)
give me feedback please!!
“What class do you have next?” Your friend, and roommate Liz asked. You were both walking out of the cafeteria. It was 1:15, you had just finished lunch and you had fifteen minutes until your next class. You pushed the doors open together and braced yourselves as the cool late September breeze hit you, blowing your jackets open. You put both sides of the jacket together in front of you and crossed your arms to block the cold out. 
“Um,” you thought back for a moment, the cold temporarily knocking your senses right out of you. “British Literature.”
If you were being honest, you had taken this course because it fulfilled one of your requirements, but in the end it felt like one of the most rewarding parts of your college experience so far. The material was interesting, and instead of being bored out of your mind throughout the whole hour and a half of class––it was actually entertaining. You had your professor to thank for that.
“Oooh,” Liz twisted her lips to the side to suppress a knowing smile, but the look in her eyes gave it away. “With Professor Holland?” She asked, batting her eyelashes innocently. 
You rolled your eyes and bit your tongue to hide your smile. “Yes,” you shoved her playfully to the side making her step in a pile of leaves, the crunch under boots loud as ever as it carried through the crisp air. “Shut up.”
You and Liz had been roommates since your first year at university and had now spent four, coming up on five semesters rooming together. Luckily, you really hit it off, and easily fell into a routine together, forming a bond as you ate lunch and dinner together, studied in the library, had dance parties in your dorm, and more. You knew each other inside and out, often having random late night conversations while you procrastinated your work or couldn’t sleep, about literally anything and everything. Bottom line is, you trusted each other, which is why she knew about your sort-of-crush on Professor Holland. 
To be fair everyone had a thing for him, he was just that kind of guy. He was sweet and compassionate and funny. Professor Holland was one of those genuine professors who sincerely cared about their students and their well-beings. He was incredibly understanding. He’d schedule dozens of meetings with his students all in one day just because he wanted to help and make sure they were all alright. He liked to check in every now and then, not because he had to, but because he wanted to.
From what you could tell he also seemed like a people person. No matter who he was with, whether it was a student, his teaching assistant Jacob, or his fellow professors––he was always attentive, cracking jokes, enjoying the conversation. Everyone seemed to love him. But you could also tell that a part of him was just a tad bit cocky, but in a joking and love-able way. 
All this goes to show that you spent way too much time thinking about him, and observing him, which could either be seen as really endearing or really creepy. 
“Look I’m just saying,” Liz shrugged, “Enjoy the class.” She nudged you, “I know I would.”
Realizing you were approaching the writing and arts center, and Liz’s next class was in the building across the street, you sent her off. “Yeah yeah, okay. Bye.” You tightened your arms around you and scurried off, skipping a crack in the sidewalk and walking up the steps to the building. You opened the door and were immediately welcomed by a rush of warm air and let out a sigh, rubbing your hands together as you made your way to the lecture hall. 
You pulled your phone out and checked the time, 1:22. You still had 8 minutes to spare. You were still walking and only glanced up from your phone right as you were about to walk into the door and were stopped suddenly when you crashed into a hard chest. You immediately felt two warm hands grasp your arms to steady you and were suddenly enveloped by the smell of tea and mint. 
“Woah! I’m sorry, love, are you alright?”
You froze as you looked up, feeling very much like a deer in headlights as you realized you quite literally crashed into your professor. “Oh––um,” you swallowed, suddenly feeling like the air was escaping you. You cleared your throat trying to save yourself from anymore embarrassment. “I’m fine––I’m sorry, that was my fault. I wasn’t looking––” You paused when you noticed the small smile on his face, his warm eyes making you forget what you were going to say.
“It’s alright, Y/N. It was partially my fault as well, I was too focused on––” he seemed to snap out of some trance, straightening himself up as his hands dropped back down to his sides and into his pockets. “Uh, well that’s not important.” He pulled one hand out of his pocket––he was wearing those blue slacks that you thought made his thighs look great, respectfully, of course. He checked the time on his watch and you had to stop yourself from ogling the veins in his arms as he did so. 
He looked up at you, brows furrowed playfully and you actually had to remind yourself to breathe. “You’re almost ten minutes early. You that eager to see me?” He ended his question with a teasing smirk and your mouth opened and closed a few times before you managed to string together a response.
“I––um, I just really like this class and you––you’re my favorite professor.” You blurted out, your cheeks heating up as you realized what you just admitted. You had to force your eyes to go back to their normal size after they practically bulged at the realization of what you said. “And I mean, I just happened to get here early so...I thought I might as well get settled in.”
Your professor cleared his throat, trying to hide his smile as he glanced down at his shoes for a moment then back up at you. “Well then.” He extended his arm, pointing towards the open door of the hall and stepped aside. “Please, after you.” 
You gave him a small smile in return along with a quiet thank you and stepped through the door. But before you could walk over to your seat, you felt him lean over behind you to talk lowly in your ear. He was standing a respectably close distance, but his presence was so overwhelming it was as though you felt him everywhere. His breath caressed the smooth skin of your cheek as he spoke. 
“I’m technically not allowed to have favorites, but I do appreciate that you enjoy having me as your professor, darling.” It shouldn’t have had such an effect on you, really, it shouldn’t have. But something about him referring to himself by his title really did something to you. You took a sharp inhale as you stood up straight, your whole body on high alert as you turned your head towards him, your eyes refusing to look at his and instead finding solace in the fabric of his navy blue button up––which he’d rolled up to his forearms. 
“And if it means anything, I rather do enjoy having you in my class as well.” You snuck a peek at him, lifting your gaze slowly and only caught a glimpse of his soft lips as he smiled before walking over to his desk. 
You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you walked up the steps to your usual spot in the middle row, near the aisle. Your legs felt like they were going to give out any minute, and the man hadn’t even touched you––well not in the way you wanted him to, anyway. But enough of that. 
You checked your phone again, trying to calm down your heartbeat as you took in a deep breath, 1:28. People started shuffling into the class, the overlapping sounds of chatter and laughter rupturing the energy the room had when it was just the two of you. At 1:32 Professor Holland started the class, getting everyone’s attention smoother than anyone should be able to. You could almost feel everyone’s eyes focusing on him, some weren’t even listening to him, they were just so entranced by how good he looked and the way he sounded––his accent was just so endearing, you had to admit it. 
The hour and a half went by rather quickly but today you were more aware of yourself, of Professor Holland––even more than usual. It seemed as though his eyes would travel to your direction more often, after he made jokes as if to see your reaction, or while he paused in his speeches. 
At the end of the class, despite there being dozens of other students moving around you, you felt as though your professor was watching you as you made your way out of the room. But it had to be your imagination, there was just no way. 
When you got back to your dorm, Liz still wasn’t back yet so you decided to take a shower and spend some time relaxing. You had already done your work for the next day and your other work for the rest of the week––well, you decided you’d do it later. 
You changed into sweats after your shower and hopped on your bed, deciding to switch between your apps for an hour or so––honestly you’d lost track of time. Liz strolled in soon after, closing the door with a loud groan, throwing her bag on the floor.
You smiled, looking up at her from your lying position on the bed. “Hello to you too.”
She grumbled in response, finally looking at you. When she noticed you were already wearing your pajamas she pointed to you, her brows raised. “Good idea!” She immediately went to her drawers and picked out a random pair of sweats and an oversized sweatshirt, changing with lightning speed for someone who was sluggishly groaning not even a minute before. 
She grabbed her phone and sat on her bed opposite yours, cross-legged, facing you. She looked at your face for a few seconds before squinting her eyes at you. “You have something to say. Spill.”
You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face. 
She looked at you pointedly, “Well go on.” 
So you told her about your encounter with the infamous brit today, how you bumped into him, what he said to you, the glances he sent your way. When you finished recounting everything you took a deep breath, “But––this could all just be in my head you know, just me overreacting.”
She stared at you with a dead expression. “Are you fucking dumb?”
“Hey!”
She ignored you, rolling her eyes while she tried not to laugh. “Dude he totally wants to fuck you.” She said nonchalantly.
Your eyes bulged, “W–What do you––What?” 
“Oh please, it’s so obvious.”
You opened your mouth but when nothing came out, you paused and looked down at the carpet. After a few moments you looked back up at her to find her with a knowing smirk on her face. “Are you serious?”
“Of course I am, when am I not?” When you were about to speak, she interrupted you. “Don’t answer that. But look, it seems like he’s into you. I think you should hit that.”
“But we––that’s not allowed!” You paused, “Is it?”
She laughed, “A ha! So you do want to!”
“Oh shut up, you already knew that. Everyone wants to, it’s not a big deal.”
She made a face, “Yes, but you’re the only one who actually has a chance at getting it.” 
You looked at her, a skeptical look on your face. “Even if that was true––he’s still my professor…”
She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Yeah but it’s not like it’s in the handbook or anything. Plus, you’re both legal adults, so. There you have it. You’re free to bone.”
“You did not just say that.”
“But I did.” She smiled, lying down in her bed. “You really could, though. Just don’t tell anybody.” When you didn’t say anything else, she spoke up. “Okay I’m gonna take a nap now. You have a lot to think about.” 
You ignored the last part and went back to your phone, “Yeah you do that.” 
Throughout the rest of the afternoon and night you couldn’t stop thinking about this whole situation. This was bad...Or was it? It seemed all too complicated, that was for sure. You weren’t even sure he looked at you or thought of you that way. 
You fell asleep playing all the pros and cons of hypothetically getting with him, your mind an endless loop of your professor, his voice, how he sounded when he practically whispered that he liked being your teacher. This was all too much.
❊❊❊❊
All of your senses were in overdrive. All you could feel were the hands tracing every curve of your body, playing you like a toy they’d made themselves. The tongue, teeth and lips following and leaving marks everywhere the hands traced. All you could hear was that sweet, rough voice telling you praises and calling you endearing names as your whole body shivered from the pleasure. Your eyes locked in on the ones staring up at you with pure hunger and awe as you ground yourself down on his cock.
“That’s it darling, just like that. You’re doing so good for me.” His lips curved into that oh so familiar smirk. “I taught you well, didn’t I?”
You woke up sweaty, your shirt sticking to your torso, a wet patch on your panties, your nipples pebbled in the cool air of your dorm room. A sex dream. Of course you had a fucking sex dream about him. Fuck. You were just lucky that your next class with him was on Thursday so you didn’t have to see him today. Because that would not help you at all. 
You checked the time on your phone, squinting at the brightness before turning it all the way down, 10am. You got out of bed with a groan and took your toiletries bag and your towel to the bathroom, deciding to take a shower this morning, instead of later on at night. Lord knows you certainly needed one. A cold one too.
You were frustrated, frustrated with yourself for feeling this way about your professor––sure, he was only a few years older than you, but it was the principle of the matter––frustrated that you were overthinking this entire thing, and most importantly you were annoyed because you were extremely horny. 
When you got into the bathroom, you locked the door and set your stuff down. You put your hands on both sides of the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror. Who are we and what happened? You sighed and grabbed your toothbrush, brushing your teeth quickly and aggressively, since everything seemed to be a hassle this morning. You’d hoped that once you hopped in the shower, you’d calm down. 
When you made your way inside, you sighed contently at the feeling of the warm water pattering against your skin, freshening you up immediately. Your nipples were still hard, between your legs still wet. So you brought a hand down between your thighs, the other to your breast as you stood under the water––almost as though the water was washing away the sinful act and thoughts right at the source. You laughed at the thought, nope, nothing can wash this away. 
You squeezed your breast and tugged at your nipple, rubbing your sensitive bud just the way you liked. You were still sensitive from...your dream, so it didn’t take long for everything to build up. You couldn’t help yourself, your mind brought back the remnants of last night that you remembered, the way his hands gripped you when he steadied you, the way his arms looked, and you came with a whimper that was louder than you would have liked. You bit your lip, closing your eyes and resting your head back on the tiles as the water continued to fall on you. 
When you came back to your dorm, Liz was on her way out but she stopped, raising her brows at you, “So have you come to a conclusion?”
You walked past her into the dorm, “Go to class, Liz.” You heard her cackle down the hallway as you closed the door. 
You got dressed casually, not rushing since there was nowhere for you to go and decided to go to the local cafe near the school. You needed to clear your head and get some work done, and you definitely would not get any of it done in your dorm. Not today, anyway. 
You checked the weather and seeing that it was a little warmer today, you put a sweatshirt on, grabbed your bag along with your phone and your laptop and you were on your way. The breeze felt refreshing this morning as you stepped out of your dorm. Your walk to the cafe was only ten or so minutes but it felt good. 
Stepping into the little shop, you were immediately hit by the aroma of coffee and sweets, surrounded by the sound of light chatter and utensils clattering on the wooden tables. The warm light above you brought a sense of comfort as you made your way over to the counter. The line was rather short so you managed to order your usual drink and snack quickly. As you were waiting for the cashier to hand you your things, your eyes scanned the shop––the ambience was rather nice and the talking almost felt like background noises. You wouldn’t mind staying here to work.
As you gathered your things, you turned around in search of a free table––which would be the deciding factor in whether or not you would stay, you did not want to awkwardly share the small table space with some stranger. You took a few steps into the seating area and almost choked on your breath when you made eye contact with the last person you wanted to see today. 
He smiled charmingly at you, teeth and all and quickly made his way over before you even had a chance to think of escaping. “Y/N!” He stood in front of you, his eyes bright. He was actually happy to see you? He was always happy to see everyone, it didn’t mean anything. 
His voice snapped you out of your annoyingly loud thoughts.  “Fancy seeing you here.” He nudged you playfully, “How are you?” He was wearing a very tight white button up that was unbuttoned until the third, showing a generous amount of his chest, a grey suit and pants, along with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. It took you a few more seconds than it should have to process that there were actual words coming out of his mouth.  
You forced a smile onto your face but the more you looked into his eyes, the more genuine it became, almost impossible to wipe off. “I’m good. Was just grabbing breakfast before I start my work. You?”
He raised his cup, “Same as you. Have a bit of time before my next class.” 
You noticed that you couldn’t tell what exactly was in the cup and your curiosity got the better of you. You pointed to the cup clasped in his fingers, “Is that coffee?”
He furrowed his brows in mock offense, “I only drink tea, darling.” He leaned his upper body forward to whisper to you, his cheek almost touching yours, “I’d think you would know that about your favorite professor.” He tutted playfully as he stood up straight again, watching you, a look that you couldn’t quite pinpoint in his eyes as he watched you over his cup, taking a teasingly long sip. 
You looked up at him, your mouth slightly open, not a clue what to respond. When he pulled the cup away from his mouth he looked down at you, his gaze drifting down and you’d never felt more exposed, despite the fact that you were wearing two layers of clothing. “I like your sweatshirt.” He smiled, glancing down at it before looking directly into your eyes, his head lowered slightly.
Your eyes widened in surprise and your head snapped down to see your spiderman sweatshirt looking back at you boldly. Oh––Oh. You lifted your head back up to find him still smiling at you softly, he didn’t seem to be teasing you at all. “Um thanks.” You could feel your cheeks heating up, despite the cool air that swept your legs as someone opened the door to the cafe. “Are you uh–– a marvel fan?” 
He pursed his lips playfully, “Yeah,” his hand came up to rub the back of his neck, “Yeah you could say that.” He licked his lips and took another sip of his drink.
Your eyes, with a mind of their own, trailed down the column of his throat, following the vein on the side of his neck, the way his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed the warm liquid. The action almost seemed provocative, in both meanings of the term. 
Suddenly you felt very hot and you knew that you had to get out of there before you made a fool of yourself in front of everyone, but most importantly him. You perked up, “I uh––I have to go professor, but it was nice talking with you. See you tomorrow!” With that you quite literally ran off, wincing as you turned around, having noticed the way his lips parted as if to speak, a furrow between his brows appearing out of confusion and concern. You really had to get control of yourself. 
You practically berated yourself as you speed walked away. God, that was so stupid. And not to mention, incredibly rude! He’d probably be upset with you now, or maybe even mad. It’s just––unbelievable what he did to you, without even actually doing anything. It took you the entire walk there to realize that you unconsciously made your way back to your dorm––so much for the library. But you’d had enough social interaction for today, so you decided you’d stay there.
You got in your bed and buried yourself under the covers, deciding you needed the comfort of being hidden in your mattress after the embarrassment you’d just experienced. You lied there just staring at the plain, white ceiling for way too long until you let out a loud huff and sat up, before grabbing your computer to start your work. 
Deciding to check your college email before you started, since they were incessant and it was easy to miss something, you scanned down the list of messages in your inbox. Your eyes skimmed through the boxes on the left of your screen, notifications that your professors left feedback on your assignments, the weekly newsletter, club events, a message from Holland, Tom––
You shut your computer immediately, eyes bulging as you held your breath. You swallowed thickly, as you stared into nothing in front of you, your eyes barely taking in anything, your mind a big ball of fuzz. 
After taking a few deep breaths, and telling your overdramatic brain to calm down, you opened the laptop again. Biting your lip, you hovered your mouse over the message, reading over the small bits of information you could see in the preview.
Holland, Tom
Just checking in
Hi Y/N, I just wanted to make  …
You could feel your heart beating through your chest. Oh God––Wanted to make sure what?? The sensible part of your brain said to just open it to figure it out for yourself. But the irrational, idiotic part of your brain was yelling at you to not open it under any circumstance. What if he wanted to make sure you didn’t get the wrong idea? Did he know how you felt about him? Were you that obvious? Maybe he thinks you’re clinically insane and wants to make sure you’re getting the attention you need? You did run off like a crazy person, after all. 
You shut your eyes tight and groaned loudly into your hands. Liz walked in and whistled lowly, taking in everything in front of her. You looked up, confused and looked at the time, realizing it had already been two hours since you first left the dorm, meaning she was done with her classes for the day.
“What’s up?” She took a seat at her desk, propping her legs on the table as she leaned back.
You waved her off, deciding it would be best to let this blow over and ignore it for now. You’d go back when you were in the right state of mind. 
She started telling you about her day and annoyingly, your brain decided today would be the day that it would not shut off. Your brows were furrowed as you tried your best to focus on what your friend was saying, but she wasn’t even looking in your direction, staring up into the air above her as she spoke animated, hands waving around, so she didn’t even notice you struggling to pay attention. 
Your eyes kept flitting back to the screen of your computer, your fingers swiping across the trackpad to turn it back on when the screen’s brightness lowered every now and then. 
Liz looked back at you and stopped her spiel. “Alright what’s up with you?” 
You sighed deeply and looked up at her. “Sorry, sorry. I just––I saw Professor Holland today––”
“Already?” She interrupted you, a goofy smile on her face. “Damn, you work fast.”
You threw the nearest pillow at her, “Shut up! I didn’t fuck him.”
“You should’ve.” She pointed out, holding the pillow to her chest. 
You glared at her until she raised her hands in surrender, then continued, your eyes bouncing from object to object in the room as you babbled. 
“I went to the cafe and I saw him and he came over to me and we started talking––and he whispered in my ear and he was joking around with me and he sipped his tea and he was super close to me and super hot, and I couldn’t handle it so I basically ran off without giving him a chance to say bye.” You took a deep breath, “And then he sent me an email after I saw him and I still haven’t opened it because I’m scared and I don’t know what he said…” You took another breath and looked at your friend, blinking as she just stared at you.
After a moment, she spoke up. “Dude just open the email.”
Your eyes widened almost in offense. “Did you not listen to anything I just said?”
“Yeah you practically fucked in the cafe then you got scared and ran away.” She spoke nonchalantly and you could tell she was fighting off a smile. “Look, eventually you have to open the email anyway, you can’t just ignore it. So just do it and rip the bandaid off.” You were about to speak up when she interrupted you, “I promise it won’t be half as bad as you think. We both know your mind is absolutely filled with the craziest ideas.” 
You huffed and fell back down on the bed, not bothering to argue since you both knew she was right. 
“Shit, I’m starving.” She looked at the time, “Yeah it’s about time for me to eat food.” She stood up, “Come on, let’s go.”
“Can you please get something for me?” She knew you well enough that you didn’t have to tell her what to get. You gave her your best smile and shrugged your shoulders.
“Are you serious.” She looked at you, deadpan, standing like the little emoji of the woman standing in place with her arms at her sides. 
You had to suppress your smile, “What if I see him?” You asked incredulously, lying further in the covers. “I’d rather stay in here and hide, for now.”
“You have class with him tomorrow––”
“That’s why I said for now.”
She cracked a smile, rolling her eyes as she grabbed her things, “You’re ridiculous.”
“Love you!”
“Yeah yeah,” she waved her hand and walked out the door. 
A few moments passed after Liz left and you sat up yet again, putting your computer on your lap as you swiped the trackpad, making the screen light up again. You checked the time, it had been almost an hour since he sent the email, you really shouldn’t make him wait any longer. Not that he’s waiting at all, he probably didn’t even notice that you hadn’t responded.
You inhaled and exhaled slowly, swallowed your nerves and clicked on the email. 
Holland, Tom
Just checking in
Hi Y/N, 
I just wanted to make sure everything was alright. You seemed kind of stressed when you left earlier and I’m hoping it wasn’t because of anything I did. Can we check in tomorrow in my office? Hope everything is going well. 
Warmest Regards,
Professor Holland
He wanted to meet tomorrow after class. In his office. Alone. 
Oh, fuck. You could hear Liz in your head going Yes, fuck. But you quickly shoved her aside. 
You read over the email about five times to make sure you weren’t misinterpreting anything, because that would be even more embarrassing. You clicked the reply button and slowly wrote out your response.
Hi Professor Holland,
Everything is fine, but thank you for asking, I appreciate the concern. I’m free tomorrow after class if you’re available then.
Thank you!
Y/N
You hit send and not even two minutes later, you received a response. 
Hi Y/N,
Perfect! I’ll see you then :)
Warmly,
Professor Holland
How on earth were you supposed to focus on your work now? More importantly, how were you going to focus in class tomorrow?
❊❊❊❊
The next day, the butterflies in your stomach would not calm down. When you stepped into the class, he was talking to another student and you tried to sneak past to your seat unnoticed. You thought you’d succeeded but once you sat down and looked up, you made direct eye contact with him and you swear you stopped breathing. You barely even recognized the sound of everyone moving around you, getting ready for class to start. 
He parted his lips and reluctantly turned back to the student still talking to him, snapping out of his daze, but not after glancing back at you. You swallowed and sank down in your seat. This was going to be a long class. 
At 1:35, class started. Professor Holland stood up and clasped his hands, making his way to the middle of the floor in front of everybody, his voice reverberating through the room. 
“Good afternoon everybody. Hope you’re all doing well.” His eyes found yours and you bit your lip nervously. You could see him swallow as he watched you, before moving his gaze elsewhere. Was that because of you? Surely, it had to be a coincidence. Maybe you made him uncomfortable. Oh great––
He went on, seemingly unfazed, eyes darting back to you subtly before continuing. The discussion soon turned to the book you’d just been assigned to read. The book was rather lengthy but there were always so many things to talk about within only a few pages––which you loved, so it was taking you all a while to go through everything together in class. 
The conversations often took up a lot of the class time since Professor Holland simply loved talking and he always found everyone’s interpretations interesting and worth exploring––eager to hear our classmates perspectives. He also often said that he was not good at using technology, so he preferred to just talk and show rather than use his computer. Honestly, you found it endearing.
The conversations were always interesting to listen to, people never failed to give you insight on things you hadn’t even thought of before, but sometimes––some people were just a little stupid.
Someone brought up a slightly sexist point that made absolutely no sense but since you weren’t the one to call someone out in front of a room full of people, you stuck to your facial reactions instead of audibly responding. You turned back to the front of the class to see Professor Holland’s opinion to find that he was watching you, trying and failing to suppress his smile. 
He put both hands in his pockets which you found ironic considering they would jump out any time soon––he loved to talk with his hands. His eyes got serious, the smile on his face a little less friendly as he addressed the sophomore who made the comment. “I don’t know if you’re aware of how ludicrously sexist that comment you just made was, but now you know.” He turned to the rest of the class. “Remember to think before you speak. This isn’t to necessarily call anyone out. It’s a warning. Senseless remarks will not only affect my view of you, but your grades as well.” 
He went on and tried to shape the boy’s comment into something appropriate to discuss and you honestly couldn’t focus on anything else he said, you were just looking at him in awe and in shock. Sure, this was the bare minimum, but since it was so rare to see, it was very noticeable and even impressive when you noticed it.
God, you adored this man.
Near the end of class, he announced the next assignment, a paper you’d have to write about a comparison you made between any point in the story, a character, a theme, a hidden meaning, etc. and something in our modern reality, a social norm, a popular belief, etc. Your essays were always very open ended in this class, giving you room to write about almost anything you wanted to. Your professor knew that the assignments would be more enjoyable if there was some choice involved. He truly was good at his job. 
“Look, reading’s hard sometimes, I get it. I’m dyslexic, so trust me, I understand. But I never let that stop me.” He paused to look around the room and it was so silent you could hear each other’s inhales and exhales. The power he had over a room full of around one hundred people was insane, and in a weird way, also turned you on. “I know the book is massive. Listen to the audio books if you have to, I don’t mind. But get the work done either way. It’s not for me, it’s for you. I want you to get the best grade you can in this class.”
“Bring me interesting material. I don’t want to fall asleep reading your work.” He joked and smiled proudly when laughter filled the room. “The essay is due in two weeks. Good luck.”
There were a few thank you’s and goodbyes scattered around the room as he sent everyone off, people scurrying from all sides to the exits. 
You took your time gathering all your things and took a deep breath when the last few people made their way out, silence soon surrounding the both of you. You put your bag over your shoulder and walked down the carpeted steps, suddenly finding the dark grey pattern to be the most interesting things you’ve ever seen––and also watching your steps so that you don’t fall down them in front of him. You could barely hear the soft patter of your shoes as you walked down. When you finally got the main floor you looked up and saw him waiting for you patiently, things in his hands, a smile on his face. 
“Let’s go then, shall we?” You nodded shyly and he led the way, his office only a hallway away from the lecture hall. You found it slightly odd that he didn’t try to make conversation on your way there, since he always loved to. But you tried not to think too hard about it. Maybe he was just tired. 
When you reached his office, he opened the door and let you walk in first. Your eyes immediately scanned the room out of curiosity as you stepped inside, noticing his desk, the wood a dark mahogany which was covered with stacks of papers, picture frames, pens, and a few marvel funko pops––so he really was a fan. You’d never actually been inside of his office before. It was an intimidating thought for you to be in his office with him, alone. You just didn’t want to embarrass yourself. 
You turned to him and gestured to the chair across from his desk, “Do I just––”
“Please,” he interrupted eagerly. “Make yourself comfortable.” 
You took a seat and he set his things down next to his desk before sitting as well. His hair was coiffed to perfection today, curls sculpted nicely, a dark blue suit on his body with a black shirt underneath. He took off the suit jacket and put it on the back of his chair and you could see his veins and muscles bulging and shifting in his arms as he moved. He clasped his hands in front of him on the desk and wow he had nice fingers. You really had to get a grip on yourself––
“How was class today for you? Well, besides that one disappointing comment.”
You smiled, “I always enjoy the class, but yeah that was uh, disappointing as you said.
“I think your interpretations are always very insightful and very interesting. It’s almost a shame that you don’t share them with the whole class but part of me likes it that we keep them between us.” Oh? “Plus, I know how scary it can be talking in front of all those people. I almost shit myself first time I taught that class––”
You let out a surprised laughter and he couldn’t help laugh as well. 
“Shit, sorry! I mean––” He sighed, “Language, sorry. I’m British.” He shrugged, “Can’t help it.”
You shook your head, “It’s okay. Personally I think curse words spice up conversations.” You smiled proudly when he laughed at your joke. 
His smile radiated a more nervous energy after his laughter died off. “When you ran off yesterday, that wasn’t––was that because of me? Because if I did something to make you uncomfortable I’m so sorry.”
You tilted your head, trying to think of a way to explain. “No it wasn’t, well––it kind of was?” You had no idea why you would tell him this, but apparently your mouth was moving without agreeing with your mind first. 
There was almost a pout on his face and you had the sudden urge to reach over the table and smooth it out with your lips. “It’s just, well––You make me just a little bit nervous, to be honest professor.” You looked down at your lap and back up at him timidly.
He raised his brows, “Oh––”
Your smile was strained and you wanted nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the floor. 
“Well that’s not a bad thing, is it?” He looked at you almost, hopefully?
You laughed, “No trust me, it’s not.” Your eyes widened at the realization of what you’d basically just admitted to him and you didn’t know if you should feel embarrassed or relieved when the smirk appeared on his face.
But the words that he uttered next cleared that up for you. “Well, if I’m honest, you make me nervous too, darling. And definitely not in a bad way.” He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, almost teasing you with how good he looked.
You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly feeling dry, crossing your legs, your thighs squeezing together, and he definitely noticed, his eyes trailing down your body as he licked his lips as well. 
The tension in the room was so thick but you found that you didn’t want to escape it, if anything you wanted to carve your way through it, stay for as long as you could until it snapped. 
Your professor spread his legs, his hands coming down to rub at his thighs as he watched you and the sound of your heartbeat pounding filled your ears. It was almost as if there was an unseen force pulling the two of you together, but before it could there was a knock at the door. 
The both of your heads snapped to the door to find it opening slowly. Jacob, Tom’s teaching assistant popped his head in. You had talked to him a few times, he was always very nice. He didn’t attend every class, but you guessed that he would be attending the next one. “Hey man.” He turned to you and smiled, “Oh hi Y/N.” You waved and let out a small hi in response. He turned back to the professor. “Your next class is starting like––” He looked at his watch. “Now.” 
“Shit, sorry man. Lost track of time.” He got up and you did too, smiling sheepishly as you grabbed your things, getting up from your seat. “I’ll be right there.” Jacob nodded and closed the door.
You both made your way over to the exit slowly, still reeling from what maybe could have happened and what you both obviously thought of. The silence was loud around you, but it wasn’t scary this time. 
“Let me know if you need any help with the upcoming assignment, alright? Don’t be afraid to stop by if you need to.” His gaze dropped down to your lips for a split second before reaching your eyes again. “For anything.” He looked at you with an expression you couldn’t describe but quickly tried to mask it with a smile as he opened the door for you, his eyes practically holding yours captive. 
“Thank you, professor. I will.” 
You stepped out and he watched you for a few moments before closing the door. You looked back, smiling as you caught his eye and as soon as he stepped back in the office, you practically ran out of the building and to your dorm, a stupid grin on your face. 
“Holy shit.”
❊❊❊❊
When you practically burst into your dorm room, scaring Liz half to death before you told her what happened, let’s just say she wasn’t surprised in the slightest.
“I fucking told you!” She flopped onto her bed, still staring at you pointedly as she did so, a smirk on her face. She pointed at you before dropping her hand down dramatically by her side. “You like, owe me a soda now or something.” 
You rolled your eyes but you were so giddy the smile still hadn’t dropped from your face. “Well I do owe you for getting me lunch yesterday, so maybe I will buy you one.”
❊❊❊❊
Over the weekend, you started working on the essay for British Literature and you were already about halfway done since the topic you chose actually interested you. But you found yourself questioning if you were writing it properly as you went on. You weren’t sure if it was because you wanted it to be near perfect since you’d found out he paid extra attention to you, or maybe you just wanted to talk to him again––you’d never know. 
After discussing with Liz, you decided you’d stop by his office on Monday afternoon once you were done with your classes. You knew he liked to stay in his office until late at night sometimes, he always said we could stop by whenever, if we needed something. So you decided to take advantage of that, shoving down your anxious thoughts and doing what you wanted. 
Liz may or may not have convinced you to wear a shirt that was––aesthetically pleasing, to put it, specifically in the chest area so you were more than eager to see your professor’s reaction. You were a little nervous, you didn’t want it to seem like you were trying too hard, but you thought you looked good in this shirt, and you had a right to feel good about yourself. Since it was a little chilly outside, you hid it under a sweatshirt for now.
You got to his office and found yourself staring at the dark wood, hesitating to knock on. After taking a deep breath you rapped your knuckles against the door. 
You heard a faint Come in! And you took a deep breath and opened the door slowly to find him sitting at his desk, “Hi Professor Holland.” He was finishing some notes on a student’s essay but his head snapped up immediately at the sound of your voice.
He dropped his pen and sat up, “Please,” he motioned to the seat across from his desk and you smiled gratefully before settling down. “What can I do for you? Everything alright?”
His eyes looked sincere and concerned and you could feel your insides melting a little bit. 
“I just––I really want to do well on this essay,” He nodded for you to continue, “But I’m just not sure if I’m going in the right direction.”
 He nodded understandingly, “Well let’s have a look, shall we?”
You reached down to grab your things when he stood up and walked past you, your eyes following him in confusion. He gestured to the couch, a somewhat impish smile on his face. “Just thought it would be more comfortable––and easier for us to look together, of course.”
You nodded, a small smile on your face as you picked up your bag and sat next to him on the couch. “Right, of course.” It was a loveseat so there wasn’t much room for either of you to distance yourselves.
You got out your computer and opened up the essay. You had already opened it before you got there, not wanting to have to awkwardly wait for it to load. Yes, you overthought things but––it helped sometimes. “I see you came prepared,” he joked and you couldn’t help but smile. He really did notice everything, didn’t he.
“Well I’m really confident about the topic of my essay, I think it’s interesting. But I feel like I may be adding too much into the paper, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking things or if I should take some things out.” 
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. I meant it when I said I appreciate having you in my class, you know. I always love reading your work. You write well.” 
“Thank you, professor.” Though you saw his eyes darken at the title, he commented on it.
“You can call me Tom when we’re alone, darling. No need for formalities.”
“But I like calling you professor––” Your hand shot up to cover your mouth and you spoke before he could, ignoring his smile, “I mean um. Tom––Okay I can try that.”
His tongue passed under his teeth, a devilish smirk on his face as he watched you squirm under his gaze. “No you know, now I think professor is growing on me.”
You pursed your lips, rolling your eyes. “Prof––Tom.”
He raised his hands in surrender, “Alright alright.” 
“Why don’t you read it to me? It’s easier to see where you can improve when you hear it out loud.”
You swallowed nervously, nodding your head as you brought your laptop closer to you. “O––Okay.”
You started reading your paper out loud, voice becoming slightly steadier as you went on, two fingers scrolling up the trackpad. He made comments as you read, only praise––and with each compliment you felt yourself getting hotter. Very good. Always write so well. Nice point there. Mhm. Good girl, that’s an excellent point. He shifted his way closer to you gradually as you read on and when his thigh touched yours, you had to tell yourself not to jump from the contact.  
He placed his arm on the back of the couch, basically around your shoulder and you had to smush down the urge to throw your computer and climb into his lap. His thighs did look very inviting with the way he was sitting, though. 
He moved closer to you and you could feel his breath cascading down over your shoulder as he brought his hand to the trackpad, his arm over your thigh, fingers scrolling through to where he had a few suggestions. 
When he finished his few remarks, you could hear the proud smile in his voice. “See, I knew it wouldn’t be as bad as you thought. You’re a good writer...” He paused and you turned your head slightly to find his lips mere inches from yours, his eyes trained on your mouth. His words were barely a whisper when he spoke up again, “A good student.” You both leaned in slowly and his hand came up to hold your cheek lightly. “Bet you’d be a good girl for me too.” 
You gasped lightly and leaned forward, giving in and finally pressing your lips to his, both your hands grabbing his jaw. He moaned immediately, his body pressing into yours as you twisted to face him, his other hand coming around your waist to pull you in. You felt your laptop slipping off your thighs and squeaked, making the both of you laugh and pull away, flustered. 
“Careful, love.” Tom grabbed the computer and put it down on the floor gently, confirming that you saved your work before pushing the lid closed. 
The air in the room was hot, thanks to Tom in general, but also thanks to what you just did. So you pulled away and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Tom’s pout when he thought you were getting up to leave. Since there wasn’t much space on the couch, you stood up to take your hoodie off and you heard his breath hitch when his eyes fell upon the shirt you were wearing. “Christ-”
“Now what’s this?” Tom said almost to himself, his eyes staring at you in wonder and awe. “Never seen this little number before.” He noticed the clothes you wore? His hands were already aching to feel you again, reaching out for you subconsciously and you bit your lip to calm your smile as you sat back down, letting your sweater fall to the floor softly. 
“What, this old thing?” You joked, looking down at the shirt––yeah, you looked good. “You like it?” You looked up at him, a cheekily innocent look in your eyes.
He put his hands around your waist and pulled you into his lap, enjoying the gasp it elicited from you. You put your hands gingerly on his shoulders and the way he was looking up at you made you never want to leave this position ever again. You tilted your head and licked your lips and Tom couldn’t take it anymore, he kissed you again, hands gripping you firmly, anchoring you to him. He pulled away after a good while, wanting to look at you again, his lips parted, practically panting like an animal. You really had an effect on him, but he did the same to you. 
His eyes were taking you in, basically capturing a mental image for later. “God, you look heavenly, darling.” You squirmed in his lap and bit your lip when you felt a bulge growing underneath you. He leaned forward and left a trail of kisses on the tops of your breasts, leaving a few teasing nips and sucks here and there. You squealed, your hands coming up to run your fingers through his hair. You pulled his head up by his hair and the look in his eyes looked absolutely feral––like he wanted to eat you. 
You were about to lean in and kiss him again when a knock at the door surprised the both of you. You both jumped off of the couch as Tom threw out excuses. “Yeah just a second!” You straightened out your shirt as Tom did the same to his pants and you picked up your things. 
When he saw that you were settled, he took a deep breath and answered the door. His colleague and best friend Professor Osterfield, was standing there, a grin on his face. “You div, are you ever going to be on time for our monthly meetings?––” He stood up straight when he noticed you standing behind Tom. “Oh, I didn’t know you had company.” He looked between the two of you and it seemed as though he pieced everything together. Maybe Tom had told him about you? If he did, you wouldn’t be worried Tom didn’t seem like the type to tell unreliable people his business––and they were best friends after all.
You smiled at him in acknowledgement as moved aside to let you pass. “Sorry,” you looked between the both of them, “I’ll let you get to whatever you have to go to.” You looked at Tom once you were out of his office, “Thank you for the feedback, professor.”
You could see him fighting off his smirk before he replied, “Of course.” His stare was impenetrable as he looked at you, “Feel free to come by whenever.” You could see the hidden meaning in his words and let the hint of a smile show, before nodding and walking off.
Harrison looked at him, a pitiful smile on his face. “I hope you know what you’re doing, mate. You should be careful, for the both of you.”
Tom sighed, not wanting to have this conversation. “I know, man. Let’s go.” 
❊❊❊❊
You found yourself missing Tom as soon as you left. God, this was kind of pathetic. But at least your feelings weren’t necessarily one sided––he did say you made him nervous too after all. You doubt he’d say that if he just wanted to fuck you––he was better than most men. And sure you might be a little biased, but at the end of the day he had a good heart and he was educated. So bonus. 
When you stepped into your dorm, your roommate was sitting on her bed, snacks in hand as she looked at you expectantly. “Now these,” she gestured to the food on her bed, “are either for a story time, to rebuild your energy or both.” 
You laughed and changed into your pajamas, starting to tell your best friend about everything that just happened. She often interrupted with her reactions and comments.
Oh. My. God.
Shut. Up.
You’re fucking lying! 
“But we didn’t fuck.”
“Boo––”
“Yes, boo.” You laughed, “Professor Osterfield knocked at the door and dragged him off to a meeting so.” You shrugged.
“Professor Osterfield...is that the hot blond one?” You nodded and she continued expressing her feelings for the man. “I’d let him teach me a few things––”
“Literally bye.”
She laughed, “What? Come on have you seen him––”
“I’m a little preoccupied with another professor to be honest.”
She nodded, handing you a bag of chips as you settled in your bed. “True. And oh how lucky you are.” You smiled in agreement. 
❊❊❊❊
Today was the day the essay was due and though you normally handed it in at the beginning of class, for once, you didn’t and you could feel Tom’s gaze following you as you walked up the steps to your seat without so much as a glance in his direction. You’d stopped by his office a few times over the past two weeks since Harrison interrupted you, but you never did anything more than kissing and grinding. You were both too scared of getting caught, but that doesn’t mean you hadn’t thought about doing more in there.  
Tom liked to have physical copies of the essays, just in case technology decides it’s against him (his words), so everyone had until 8pm tonight to drop it off by his office. You were definitely going to use that to your advantage. 
You didn’t wear anything provocative to class, you didn’t really want that kind of attention today, plus you knew that Tom’s interest in you wasn’t solely based on your appearance. So you put the revealing items on under your clothing. And honestly, the thought that no one knew what you were wearing underneath it all only excited you even further. 
You crossed your legs, relieving your tension and biting your lip as class went on, enjoying how flustered Tom would be every time he looked at you. You felt so submissive when you were alone with him, but when you were in public like this? Free to tease him subtly from a distance? That’s where you had all the power. 
You had him blushing and stuttering throughout the whole class, though it wouldn’t have been easy for everyone else to notice, for you it was so obvious. He kept rubbing his hands together, pacing around as his eyes darted to you every few minutes. At one point he went over to sit down at his desk, which he rarely did while teaching––and you were fairly certain it was to hide a bulge in his pants. All thanks to you. 
In the middle of the class, you felt your phone vibrate in your bag and pulled it out just to see if it was an emergency. You were pleasantly surprised and could feel your whole body react when you noticed who the message was from.
Tom: Having fun, are you?
Your eyes shot up to the front of the room and you bit your lip to contain your smile when you noticed him glaring at you.
Y/N: I always have fun in this class, professor ;)
You put your phone away afterwards and focused on the class, knowing it was killing Tom that you weren’t giving him more attention. Your heart was racing and your panties had a wet patch by the time class was over. You had a feeling he was going to try to keep you after class, so you hurried up and gathered your things, sighing in relief when a few students went up to his desk to talk to him. 
You smirked to yourself and headed straight for the door, your head high on your shoulders. But just as you were about two feet from the exit, Tom spoke up. 
“I assume I’ll be seeing you later, Miss Y/L/N?”
You turned around, eyes slightly widening as you noticed him, the group of students near him.
He smirked slyly, “To turn in your paper, remember?” His eyes were giving you a knowing look.
You swallowed, nodding as you smiled at him innocently. “Of course, professor.” You enjoyed the way his eyes darkened only slightly, only noticeable to you. “See you then.” With that you walked out.
❊❊❊❊
You practically skipped to his office at around 7:45, before knocking at the door, four knocks in a specific pattern––the code you’d made together. 
“Come in, darling!”
You walked in and quickly shut the door, a chuckle escaping you. “You know someone could hear you from the outside one day, right?”
He shrugged, “I’ll just blame it on my accent. Could call everyone darling, they don’t know any better.”
You laughed. “Okay well––Professor Holland,” you said, loving the way he looked at you when you uttered his title. “I brought this for you.” You took out the printed essay and placed it on his desk.
He pushed his chair out, his eyes following your every move as he spread his legs. “Oh is that right?” 
You took the invitation and took your reserved seat in his lap, linking your arms around his neck as you looked down at him. “Mhm, still want a good grade in this class you know. You are my favorite professor after all.”
He smirked smugly, licking his lips. “And you,” he kissed your lips before pulling away briefly, “Are my favorite girl.” He brought his hands up your back and pulled you into him as he kissed you again. This time, longer and deeper, wanting to feel you as much as possible. “Teased me so much in class today.” You smiled into the kiss and he continued, “Almost wanted to take you over my knee right there in front of everyone.” 
You moaned audibly and he brought his hand up to your neck, gripping you softly but firmly, giving you room to pull away if you didn’t approve. When you leaned further into his grip, he grinned and pulled you closer. You started grinding down on him, basking in the desperate groans and sighs you were coaxing out of him, the way his movements became more frantic as he bucked into you. 
After debating with yourself in your head for a moment––struggling to think properly with his hands all over you, you got off of his lap and smiled at the small whines of protest he let out before reaching for his belt. You made eye contact with him and noticed how wide his eyes were, hopeful, hungry, but hesitant. 
His hands reached for yours, “You don’t have to, darling. If anything I should be doing this first. God knows I’ve thought about it.”
You pouted, trying your best to ignore his words and focus on the task at hand. “But I want to,” you kissed his cheek, “I wanna make you feel good, professor.” He nodded, barely able to speak.
“Yeah? You wanna be a good girl for me?” 
You nodded eagerly, licking your lips as he pulled himself out of his trousers. “More than anything. Wanna make up for earlier.” You got down on your knees, mouth practically salivating at the way his member stood tall against his abdomen, his tip leaking with precum. 
Your hand wrapped around him just as a knock sounded at the door. Professor?
The both of your eyes widened, the both of you looking around for some sort of answer before he ushered you under the desk, tucking himself back in hastily, pulling his chair as much as he could and sitting at the edge, hiding his unbuttoned and unbuckled pants. Luckily for the both of you, the back of the desk reached the floor, so whoever it was wouldn’t be able to see you hiding underneath. “Uh––Come in!”
The person walked in and you recognized the sound of her voice, she often spoke up in the lectures. You couldn’t remember her name, though. You do, however, remember that she often spoke up only to get Tom’s attention. You’d heard her gush about him in the halls just outside his class in the hopes of him hearing her. You couldn’t blame her, but the thought still irked you. “I just wanted to give you my paper. I hope it’s not too late.” 
Tom checked the time on his watch, 7:58. “Nope,” he laughed breathlessly, trying to compose himself, “Not too late at all, in fact just in time.” 
She handed her paper to Tom and he gave her a tight-lipped smile, trying his best not to think about the fact that your hands were trailing up his thighs and that he could feel your warm breath hitting the exposed part of his member––he really hadn’t payed attention when he tucked himself back in. 
Before he could send the girl who’s name you still hadn’t remembered off, she took a seat across from him and he swallowed nervously, a little frustrated since he was so close to getting his cock in his girl’s mouth. 
It seemed that you somehow read his thoughts because as soon as the girl kept talking for another two minutes, you pulled his member out and stroked him, licking up his shaft and he tensed, taking every ounce of self control he had not to look down at you. His hand reached down and held your cheek gently, just wanting to feel you. You nuzzled into his palm and he had to bite his lip to suppress his smile, not wanting the student across from him to think his endearing expression was meant for her. 
You honestly completely tuned out all the words she was saying, your sole focus pleasuring Tom. But you didn’t miss the flirty and falsely innocent tone in her voice. You couldn’t see her but she was no doubt batting her eyelashes at him as well. 
When she made a comment about how good his shirt looked on him, you couldn’t help yourself, you sucked his tip into your mouth with no warning, making him groan unexpectedly. You paused, eyes wide and playful as your mouth stayed around him.
“Are you okay professor?” 
He let out a strained smile, “Yes, Emma, Sorry––” So her name was Emma. “I just uh banged my knee on the desk.”
She hummed a small okay and went on.
He caught your eye, trying his best to keep his expression neutral, but boy was it hard. Especially when you were looking up at him like that, with his cock in your mouth. You licked around his tip and lowered your mouth around him and he had to force himself to focus on the girl who was still talking to him.
You were not playing fair but quite frankly you didn’t care. You were making him feel good and yourself too. Your hand was pumping him, your tongue swirling around him as quietly as you could, while your other hand found its place between your thighs. 
In the middle of Emma’s speech, Tom’s eyes drifted down and widened, his breath getting caught in his throat when he noticed your other hand, moving between your legs. He stuttered out an excuse, unable to tear his eyes away from you for a moment, “Uh, Emma I’m so sorry––I just have so much work to do, but feel free to come back––” he paused to swallow when you sucked harder around him in reaction to his invitation. “Come back next week if you have any problems or anything else you’d like to discuss.”
She hesitantly but respectfully said goodbye and was on her way, closing the door behind her.
Tom’s hands immediately shot down to hold your head, his mouth dropped open as he watched you, approaching his high. “Shit, that’s it darling that’s it. So fucking good for me.”
“I’m gonna cum––” he warned. You simply hummed around him and sped up your movements, feeling yourself clench as he panted, his hips bucking slightly as he came into your mouth. You unfortunately weren’t able to cum but you were sure there’d be other chances. You popped off of him and swallowed his load before licking up his length teasingly slow. “Fuck, such a good girl.”
He pulled his chair out and brought you up to stand between his legs, tiling his head to look up at you, his hands rubbing up and down the backs of your thighs absentmindedly. “Was someone a little jealous?”
You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but failing to fix your annoyed facial expression. “Maybe.”
He tucked himself back into his pants and stood up, chuckling as he squeezed your cheek. “I’m yours.” He pecked your lips, before looking in your eyes, “And I’m most definitely repaying the favor when we get home. I mean––if you want to, of course.” Home. 
You couldn’t help but smile, “Yeah––Okay.” 
You’d never been to Tom’s house before so this felt like sort of a big deal to you, but you were going to try and calm your racing thoughts and heart. You and Tom agreed that you would go around the corner of the building for him to pick you up in his car, not wanting to risk anyone seeing you.
As soon as you were settled in, seatbelt on, Tom drove off and honestly the thrill of having to hide was exciting to the both of you. His hand was gripping your thigh throughout the whole drive and you could tell it was meant as a reminder that he was there for you, but also that he could barely contain himself. 
Seeing Tom drive you, the flashing street lights illuminating his face, highlighting his jawline, his hand gripping your thigh––this was a sight you knew you wanted to see more. The intimacy of it all made you warm inside and the feeling of Tom’s fingertips digging into your skin only riled you up further.
You leaned over to kiss his cheek and he smiled at the feeling of your soft lips drifting over his skin. “Darling––” His words were cut off by a harsh moan when you trailed your lips down to his sweet spot, the noise almost too loud for the quiet, tense air in the car.
You teased, licked and bit at his skin, not afraid to leave marks. It was Friday now, if anyone saw them on Monday, they would just assume he’d had an eventful weekend. Honestly, the thought that no one would know that you were the one who left those marks excited you––it would be a secret between you and Tom, a thing for the two of you to share on your own.
Tom’s hands were now gripping the wheel and your thigh with force, trying to get his bearings. “You’re being very naughty today, love. Can’t say that I don’t love it though.”
You smiled sinfully into his neck, continuing your actions. Your hand slid over his thigh teasingly slow to rest on his bulge, fingers squeezing ever so softly and he practically jolted in his seat. “Christ––love unless you want me to crash this car I suggest you stop.”
You pulled away, satisfied with how much you’d riled him up. He almost whined at the loss of contact, subconsciously upset that you’d actually stopped. But as your hand reached back down to find its place between your thighs, his tone shifted. 
“Don’t you dare touch what’s mine. That’s my job.”
You actually felt a shiver pass through your body and you squeezed your thighs together at the sound of his dominant voice, excited for what was to come.
When you made it to his apartment, you barely had time to take in the scenery and take off your shoes and jackets before he dragged you to his room. But from what you saw, the decor was simple but elegant, much like Tom. His bedroom was the same, but again, you weren’t too focused on it.
He turned on the dim light in his room, wanting to be able to see you as he pleased you. He stepped closer to you and placed his hands on your waist, looking deep into your eyes. “You still want this?” 
You nodded absolutely certain. “Want you to take me.”
His pupils dilated and he pulled your shirt up and over your head, licking his lips, eyes widening when he noticed what you were wearing and you couldn’t help but smile.
“Christ, were you wearing this all day?” 
You nodded again. “The underwear’s matching too. Wanna see?”
He got down on his knees, a teasing but desperate tone to his voice. “You’re a smart girl, don’t ask stupid questions.” He unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down along with your socks, mouth dropping open as he got to see the full set. 
You ran your hands up and down your body teasingly as he stood up. “Do you like it?”
He shook his head, smiling in disbelief, “Again with the silly questions, love.” He leaned in to kiss you, pulling away to take off his clothes. “You look like a goddess, darling.” You could feel your skin heating up from his words and his stare. He pulled you in for another kiss before bringing you onto the bed.
You lied down in the middle and spread your legs, waiting for him eagerly as he lied down between them. “Can’t fucking wait to taste you, love.” 
He pulled your panties over to the side and licked into you, his tongue softly swiping through your folds. His eyes rolled back as he moaned into you, “Taste just as perfect as you look.” He slid his hands around your thighs and pulled you in closer, smiling at the small squeak you let out.
His tongue was exploring you, finding all the spots and all the tricks that made your toes curl and your breath hitch. He was keeping this all to memory, memorizing the way you feel, the way you look. When your breaths quickened and your fingers tugged at his curls, he locked his arm around your stomach, slid one, then two fingers inside of you and sped up his movements, moving his head from side to side as he hummed onto your clit. 
Your body tensed and you held onto him for dear life as the knot in your stomach gave out, the pleasure spreading all throughout your body. Your mouth dropped open in ecstasy, your neck craning back and Tom couldn’t look away from you. You looked like a painting and he wanted to commit it to memory. 
He let go of you and kissed his way up your body, soothing you with his lips. Your legs were still twitching slightly, your stomach clenching and unclenching when his kisses reached your cheek. “Look so pretty when you come for me.” He kissed along your jaw, “Can’t believe you’ve deprived me of such a beautiful sight for so long.” He kissed your lips and tugged your bottom one between his teeth, before looking at you, eyes wide, “You gonna give me the privilege of seeing it again?” 
You smiled, your hands coming up to hold his cheeks. “You can see it whenever you want. As long as you’re the one making it happen.” You pulled him to you and kissed him, the both of you moaning into the small gaps between your mouths. 
He started to pull away but you whined and pulled him back making him smile. “I’ve gotta get a condom, love.”
He tried to get up again but you pulled him back down, “M’on the pill Tommy.” You looked up at him, pouting and he almost gasped––the effect you had on him was insane. “Just fuck me please.”
He didn’t need anymore convincing, grabbing a hold of his cock and swiping it through your folds, groaning out loud at how good your wetness felt. You bucked your hips and realizing you were getting desperate, he finally slid into you and all your senses immediately tuned into him. 
Just like your dream––All of your senses were in overdrive. All you could feel were the hands tracing every curve of your body, playing you like a toy they’d made themselves. All you could hear was that sweet, rough voice telling you praises and calling you endearing names as your whole body shivered from the pleasure. 
His eyes were watching your face, taking you in as he thrusted into you, making sure you were enjoying everything he was giving you. You felt absolutely amazing and so did he. “So perfect for me, darling. That’s it.” He bit his lip and sped up, making your jaw drop as you stared into his eyes, completely open and vulnerable to him. His touch was tantalizing, even better than your fantasies which only meant you’d become more addicted to him and what he could do to you.
He grunted, angling his hips when he found your spot, hitting it over and over, bringing his hand down to play with your clit. “Told you I wanted to see you cum again, pretty girl. So you’re gonna cum then I’m gonna fill you up. That sound okay?”
You nodded eagerly, eyes watching his every move as your hands gripped his arms, your thighs burning invitingly as they stretched around him with every thrust. Then you uttered that one word that always had him almost inappropriately weak for you. “Want to be full of you, professor.”
His jaw slacked and he paused for a slight moment before picking up his pace, faster than before, hips chasing after both your highs, fingers still rubbing you just the way he learned, just the way you liked. “Fuck-–”
A few more thrusts and flicks of his wrist and you were tensing under him, your pussy clenching around him as he let out broken curses and moans, losing his rhythm and releasing into you with a groan. 
He rested some of his weight on you for a moment, the both of you smiling and laughing breathlessly as you took in the moment. Your hands came up to play with his curls and he sighed, leaning into your touch. He lowered his head into the crook of your neck and left a few soft kisses, coaxing some sighs from you as well.  
After a moment, he rolled over and took you with him, making you nuzzle further into him, his arm wrapped around you, your leg slung over his waist. His hand was rubbing up to your ass and down to your thigh, lulling you to sleep while simultaneously riling you up again. 
He kissed your forehead and you kissed his chest in response. “That was fucking amazing, love.”
You nodded and hummed in agreement, “Even better than my dreams.”
He pulled back to look at you, you could hear his heartbeat quicken and you tried to hide your face in his chest. “You had dreams about this too?”
That made you lift your head up to look at him. You could see in his eyes that he wasn’t joking but you were still slightly shocked. “Too?”
He smiled, licking his lips, “Well maybe we should discuss them, and try them out for ourselves.” His hand found its way between your legs again, making you moan but that didn’t stop you from responding.
You nodded, “For research purposes, of course.”
“Of course.” He grinned, “See, I knew I taught you well.” He leaned in to kiss you deeply, “My girl’s the perfect student.” 
You spent hours exploring each other's bodies as you reenacted your dreams, both exceeding each other's expectations every time. By the time you fell asleep in each other's arms, it was late at night and you were sweaty, and tired, but overwhelmingly pleased.
❊❊❊❊
The next Friday, it was halloween. Liz had somehow convinced you to go to a halloween party with her. On top of that it was a frat party. And even worse, you dressed up as a school girl because it was all last minute and you didn’t have any time to get a costume. 
“Oh come on Y/N, you look hot!”
You turned in the full length mirror to look at your ass that was almost visible in this mini skirt. “You think so?”
“Duh.”
And that’s all the convincing you needed to go out. You needed a little college fun. You hadn’t been to a party in who knows how long because you were always focusing on your work. You deserved this. Also Liz said it was a celebration of your “lay”, yes, she said lay. 
“I’m just saying you cannot let me get with him again.”
“Liz it’s literally his frat house that we’re going to and we both know you have little to no self control.”
“Well damn. You couldn’t have sugar coated it?”
“What, you want me to throw a packet of splenda on you?” You joked.
She shoved you, “Dude shut up,” she laughed.
You looked down at your bare thighs that were only partly covered by your thigh high socks and rubbed your arms, regretting not bringing a jacket when Liz spoke up again. “Oh shit, is that Professor Holland?”
Your eyes shot up and made direct eye contact with him. He was wearing a hoodie and some sweats but he still looked great as usual. His eyes trailed down your body and soon your shivers were no longer because of the cold. 
“I’ll just wait here.” Liz said suggestively and you walked over to Tom. 
“H–Hi.”
He put his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out to touch you, he didn’t know who was around. “Well hello to you too.” He looked into your eyes, a smirk on his face. You rubbed your arms quickly for warmth, and Tom had to control himself to not look at your chest, even though he could see your nipples hardening from the weather through your shirt. He wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms and take you home. 
“Any plans?” You asked.
“No, I'm just about to go home. I’m uh guessing you have somewhere to be?” His eyes traced your figure again.
“Yeah um me and Liz are going to a frat party.” You pointed back to your friend and gave him a small smile and shrug. “She convinced me.”
He wanted to kiss you so bad but he had to restrain himself.
“Be safe tonight, yeah?” His eyes were comforting, as they always were, but this felt almost more personal? Almost like he didn’t want you to go. And honestly, after seeing him, you almost didn’t want to either. You never defined your relationship with him, so honestly right now he was like a friend with benefits––professor with benefits, if you will. 
You nodded, licking your lips nervously. “O––Okay. I will. You be safe too!”
His eyes followed you as you walked off, your friend pulling you along, obviously whispering to you, probably about him. You looked so fucking good and everyone else was going to see that too. It’s not like he owned you or anything, but part of him really wished he could claim you, openly care for you and be affectionate. His thoughts were a mix of wholesome and raunchy and he had no idea how to act.
He almost felt wrong but he couldn’t get the thoughts out of his mind, the way you looked up at him sheepishly, the innocent look in your eyes while you were wearing that mini skirt. His cock was bulging in his boxers ever since he first laid eyes on you. When he got home, he made his way to his bed, undressing almost immediately. Lying down in the middle of the bed, just where you were days before brought a flood of memories into his mind, only making his member throb even more. He tugged at his cock, spitting in his hand to make it slick.
Images of you were flashing in his mind as he sped up his movements, desperate for a release. 
He was dying to get a taste of you again. The memory of the way you felt under his fingertips, the way your muscles clenched when he hit the right spots. The way you tasted when you were dripping onto his tongue. The way you looked at him when you came, your lips parted to release broken moans and whimpers. The way your fingers gripped his curls as your body tensed. It was all enough to make him spill over his hand, his breaths coming out in quick pants as his head dropped back onto the pillow.
“Fuck.” He really had it bad for you. 
❊❊❊❊
Tom had texted you during class on Tuesday to meet him in his office when you were done with classes for the day. When you stepped into the room, he locked the door immediately, bringing you over to his desk, his lips chasing yours. Screw worrying about people hearing you, he wanted you. Now. 
“God, just seeing you in that tight little costume––you have no idea how badly I wanted to ravish you. The thought of all those dumb frat boys seeing you in all your glory like that––I was absolutely beside myself.” So that’s what this was about. His hand came up to hold your cheek, his eyes fiercely staring into yours and you nuzzled into his touch, your hand holding his wrist softly and his eyes softened at the sight of you.
“I’m gonna absolutely devour you.” You gasped and he smiled, pulling your pants along with panties down. He sat you down on his desk and got down on his knees, licking his lips. “As soon as I got a taste of you, I knew I wouldn’t be able to go without it ever again.” He kissed your thigh, looking up at you. “You gonna let me have a taste again? Wanna make you feel good, lovie.”
You nodded, swallowing roughly, “Y––Yeah. Yes please.”
He chuckled breathlessly, “Such a polite little thing you are.” He kissed his way from your inner thigh to your center before licking a torturously slow stripe from your hole to your clit. You let out a sigh and gripped the desk, your fingertips becoming lighter at how hard you were already holding it.
His hands held your thighs open, putting them over his shoulders, holding you in place. His tongue was languidly licking you up and down, savoring your taste and your moans, coaxing them out of you one by one, nonstop. He looked up at you and your breath got caught in your throat, the look in his eyes fierce, almost as if he could see your bare soul and he clearly liked what he saw. He brought his lips to close around your heat after every other swipe of his tongue, passionately kissing your heat. 
“So fucking good, angel. Always the best for me.”
You nodded, licking your lips, one of your hands coming to grab at his curls, making him growl into you. “Only for you, Tommy.”
He didn’t stop his tongue or his lips until you came, your back arching, fingers frantically grabbing for whatever you could hold, lip trapped between your teeth to muffle the moans that so desperately wanted to escape into the quiet air of the room. He kept going until you had to pull his head away from you, overwhelmed by all the pleasure and scared that you would scream and alert everyone in the building about what you were up to.
His hands were caressing your thighs, eyes looking at you in awe, almost too innocently for what you’d just done. He stood up between your legs and leaned in to kiss you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue and his lips. 
He pulled away to look at you, hands holding your hips as your legs wrapped around his waist. You brought your arms up to link around his neck, looking up at him appreciatively and absolutely spent. “So do you think I should wear school girl outfits more often?”
He laughed, his hands holding you tighter, “If you do, my head is never leaving between your thighs.”
You smiled cheekily, batting your lashes at him. “Promise?”
He’d never gotten down on his knees quicker in his life. Let’s just say it took you another hour before you left his office.
 ❊❊❊❊
Over the past few weeks it had become a routine for you to go over to Tom’s office to seemingly “work on your assignments and review,” so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to show up unannounced Friday afternoon. Without meaning to, though, it seemed you showed up a little too early, and ended up overhearing part of Tom and Harrison’s conversation. 
“I can tell Y/N means a lot to you, mate. Don’t lie.” Your heart dropped to your stomach as you skidded just in front of the door, about to turn the corner inside. You backed up and stayed pressed to the wall. Luckily no one really stopped by this side of the building at this time on a Friday, so no one would find you snooping around in the middle of the hallway. 
“No I just––”
No. He said no––Okay you weren’t going to freak out. This always happens in the movies, and then the main character runs away before hearing the most important part and they overreact. So you decided to just...wait it out. 
So you waited and waited. And the more the silence overwhelmed you, the louder it got. You could feel the tears starting to form in your eyes because you really thought your feelings were mutual. But just as you inched your foot backwards to walk away, he spoke up again, his voice quiet. 
“She means everything to me, man. I––It scares me, honestly. I just don’t want to mess it up.” 
This time the tears fully formed in your eyes, but for the absolute opposite reason. You smiled and wiped at your eyes, not even bothering to hide anymore as you turned the corner, surprising Tom, his eyes widening as he took in your appearance. Harrison turned around to see you and his gaze filled with concern as well. 
“Tom––” your voice was quiet but there was a smile on your face. 
“Darling––” He rushed over to you and grabbed your hands, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs to catch the few tears that escaped. “What’s wrong, are you alright?”
Your hands came up to hold his wrists as you looked into his eyes, “I heard you talking.” 
His face dropped in realization and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 
Harrison cleared his throat and subtly made his way out, “You guys have some things to discuss.” He put a hand on your shoulder and you both smiled at each other appreciatively before he walked out, shutting the door behind him. 
Tom took your hands and brought you over to the couch. “I hope I didn’t scare you off, love.”
You shook your head immediately, even climbing in his lap to prove him wrong and he smiled gratefully. “No! It’s just that we never really talked, you know, about us.” He nodded and you took that as a sign to continue, enjoying the way his hands subconsciously slipped under your shirt to rub at your skin soothingly. “I like you Tom, obviously. But I like you a lot.” You linked your hands behind his neck. “I think I might be falling for you.”
His eyes started tearing up as well, as he smiled, “Yeah well, I think I’ve already fallen for you, darling.” 
You looked into his eyes and your smile brightened, “Okay maybe I lied––I’ve definitely already fallen for you as well.”
You both laughed lovingly, pulling each other in for a sweet kiss.“Look,” Tom started, licking his lips. “I don’t know what this means for our future, but all I know is I don’t plan on letting you go any time soon.” 
You kissed his lips softly, “Well I don’t plan on leaving any time soon either.” 
“Good.” He looked at you and you felt as though your soul was out and open for him to hold and love. “Cause you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N and I don’t ever want to lose you.” 
You could feel your eyes tearing up again. This felt good. This felt like home.
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atinykidult · 4 years ago
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LIZ I NEED A PLACE TO RANT OH MY GOD that ATEEZ TEASER MADE A TOTAL OF 0 AMOUNTS OF SNESE it’s 3:09 aM AND i’m LYING IN BED THINKING WHAT DID I JUST WATCH ok i do not recommend watching this at 2am in the DARK because wow it is lowkey horror with the background instrumentals and THE VOICEOIVER CJSBCJDBFHDHCB their voices are IN UR EAAAARRRSSSSS jenfnsbfjsjd very asmr seonghwa would be proud———but wow that was one HECK of a teaser i’ve never seen anything like this before :(():);):$;:)
(This is long, so I’m putting a keep reading haha to anyone curious, below is screaming over Ateez’s new teaser)
when you watch it WHENU WAKE UP please do let me know what you think about it because i am simply just beyond shook LIKE WHat is 5:07??? WHY DID THAT HAPPEN TO YUNHO??? SAN??? POOR MINGI?? i’m trying to express my frustrations without leaking anything that actually happened in the teaser because i don’t wanna spoil it for you HAHAHAHAH ALSO I NEVER RESPONDED TO YOUR ASK i am v v sorry i will do it here: you asked me hoping that my day got better than my avocado paste and in fact it did!!!!!!!
i did a lot of fic inspiration and i found an amazing 3 pic moodboard that would fit with my fic when i finish up tomorrow/ the day after?? i’m really really excited because one of my friends is coming over tomorrow for dinner and it’s been a whole month since i last saw her due to covid :’)))))) but YES!!! thank you so so much for listening to me rAnt and i’m sorry for plugging up your inbox!! i hope everything has been good for you? make sure to let me know if anything interesting happens!
i do have a qotd for you: AFTER YOU WATCH THE ATEEZ TEASER, which ateez member’s situation would you rather be in and why?? i’ll say san for me, but i’ll give you the reason why afterwards :)))) so no spoilers!! i love u very very much and i do hope that your day is not avocado paste, but instead freshly toasted bread that makes the best crush when you bite into it, but is still soft on the inside 🤧🤧🤧💓💓💕💕💞💞❤️💘💖💝💝💗 sending you FOREVER LOVE (and once again i’m sorry i sent 4 asks) :0
I’M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE 😭 I hope you enjoyed whatever you’re up to as I’m writing this!!! Make sure to get enough sleep and hydrate! 💞💞
BUT!!!! THAT HONESTLY SOUNDS LIKE SUCH AN EXPERIENCE!!!!!! THE VOICE-OVERS HAVE SUCH A GOOD RECORDING QUALITY—IT WOULD BE MAGICAL!!!!!!!
According to Google: “Angel number 507 is a message for us to seek wholeness, independence and advancement. It also denotes freedom from limitation, and the possibility of promotion. Number meaning 507 adds vibrations of spiritual awakening, inner knowing and good fortune.”
BUT I’M JUST SO SHOOK FROM IT OVERALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS A CINEMATOGRAPHIC MASTERPIECE, AND I’M TRASH FOR GOLDEN SHOTS LIKE WERE IN THERE LEFT AND RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE MUSIC WAS AMAZING AND THEY DID SO WELL ACTING AND THE QUALITY WAS AMAZING AND AND AND
Vivi, I love hearing your thoughts more than you can know!!! Honestly, it’s the best feeling in the world to get to hear your reactions, and what you’re thinking, and what you’re going through!! <3
Also, thank you for thinking of not spoiling it for me; it’s so sweet and thoughtful!!!
Tbh all their positions sound horrible, and if there’s multiple universes than they’re all cut off from each other anyway?? So, yeah, all bad options? But probably Wooyoung’s bc the major thing seemed to be that his dance place got locked up? In which case, I think there’s the best chance for him to get everything back together to where it was. I might have misunderstood it though. >.>
Anyway! This is a monster of a reply and i’m so sorry. Most of it is screaming (belatedly with you) so I guess the major points for conversation are: Why did you pick San’s? And how was your day? ^^ (I love you so much, Vivi!!!)
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sfaioffical · 5 years ago
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SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA:
Kota Ezawa: National Anthem, and Mike Henderson’s At the Edge of Paradise Opening Friday, November 8 at Haines Gallery. On view through December 14, 2019.
National Anthem, the artist’s most recent project is a stirring and timely body of work that offers a powerful meditation on protest, patriotism, solidarity, and hope, depicting professional NFL athletes “taking a knee” during the national anthem to protest police brutality and the oppression of people of color.
Mike Henderson: At the Edge of Paradise, Henderson’s thirteenth solo exhibition at Haines Gallery, features a suite of newly created, large-scale abstract paintings whose complex palettes and carefully worked surfaces explore the tension between gestural and geometric abstraction.
The Qualitative Validation Principle - Marc Horowitz (2001) Ever Gold [Projects] presents The Qualitative Validation Principle, Marc Horowitz’s second solo exhibition with the gallery. On view November 9 – December 21, 2019.
BoundarySpan – a group exhibition featuring Michael Arcega (BFA 1999), Jimin Lee (MFA 1997), Paula Levine (MFA 1988), Sherwin Rio (MA 2019), Desiree Rios (MFA 2017) In a time of increasing divisiveness, separation, polarization, and fortified walls, artists can serve critical roles in building indirect associations, nurturing connections, and reminding us of the importance of considering a multitude of perspectives. BoundarySpan is a group exhibition at the Natalie and James Thompson Art Gallery displaying works by artists Michael Arcega, Jimin Lee, Paula Levine, Sherwin Rio, and Desiree Rios. On view November 12, 2019 - February 21, 2020
Shaw & Co. - Richard Shaw (BFA 1965, Martha Shaw (BFA 1966), Alice Shaw (MFA 1999), Virgil Shaw & Friends Gallery 16’s exhibition “Shaw & Co.” presents a collection of work by members of the Richard and Martha Shaw Family, plus a plethora of SFAI-affiliated artists—faculty and alums—including Richard Shaw, Martha Shaw, Alice Shaw, Rebeca Bollinger, Mike Henderson, Don Ed Hardy, Bob Hudson, Sahar Khoury, Alicia McCarthy, Jim Melchert, Ruby Neri, Cornelia Schulz, Wanxin Zhang, and more!
Völva Saga, Silenced – Monet Clark Join Monet for the opening of Völva Saga, Silenced, a 24 hour projected performance video at AP/SE on November 15. The piece will run 24 hours starting at noon with a request to gather at dusk 4:45, to 6pm
Savor The Moment and Table Testaments - Nancy Willis (MFA 2005) Nancy Willis will feature in two upcoming exhibitions this month. The first is Table Testaments which opens November 16 at Arts Benecia, then Savor The Moment opens November 23 at Chandra Cerrito / Art Advisors in Oakland.
Fresh Focus: Small Works Exhibition of Recent Bay Area MFA Artists - Jordan Taylor Holms (MFA 2019) On December 11, 2019 SFMoMA Artists Gallery opens this exhibition featuring small-size artworks by recent and current MFA artists of the Bay Area, including alumna Jordan Taylor Holms. The show will be on view through February 23, 2020.
NEW YORK
Urbanites and Ur-Beasts – Olive Ayhens (MFA 1969) On view October 30 – December 20, 2019 at Bookstein Projects, Urbanites and Ur-Beasts is Olive Ayhens fourth show with Lori Bookstein and the second at Bookstein Projects.
Umwelt - Christine Davis (BFA 1992), Patricia Olynyk, Meredith Tromble (SFAI faculty) Umwelt exposes the multilayered work of artists who engage with the sciences, while offering visitors a nuanced view of what science both is and can be. Meredith Tromble, Patricia Olynyk, and Christine Davis are artists who approach science as material for art. Through their works in digital media, installation, sculpture, and photography, Tromble, Olynyk, and Davis orient viewers to a playfully provocative and imaginative world of questioning. On view at BioBAT Art Space November 1, 2019 – March 30, 2020
Women in Possession of Good Fortune - Kira Nam Greene (BFA 2002) Women in Possession of Good Fortune, an exhibition by Kira Nam Greene, refers to the opening lines of Jane Austen’s novel, “Pride and Prejudice” and alludes to both the persistence of sexist assumptions and the achievements made by women from different races, ages and sexual orientations. On view at Lyons Wier Gallery November 7th - December 7th, 2019.
Catch and Release - Carolanna Parlato (MFA 1980) Often employing only a few colors and compositional elements, Parlato’s newest paintings are efficient in their drama and demonstrate the sheer power of limits: just this much is just enough. Carolanna Parlata’s solo show, on view at Morgan Lehman November 7 – December 14, 2019.
Liz Atz and Gelah Penn: Splice - Gelah Penn (MFA 1973) Please join us in celebrating alum Gelah Penn during the opening of Splice on November 22 at The Yard: City Hall Park.
Los Angeles, CA
Units by Seth Lower (MFA 2008) On January 9, 2020 Seth Lower will host a book launch and signing for his latest, Units at Book Soup in Los Angeles. “Units contains photographs taken from 1994–2017. The images depict a variety of everyday materials and situations, many seen in sets, parts, or multiples. Within such scenes, Lower seeks out a kind of integrity (or lack thereof): standards of measurement, materiality, vague questions about the boundaries of entities and experience.”
NEW JERSEY AND ONLINE
Show Me Your Neon and Winter Solstice – group exhibitions featuring Holly Wong (MFA 1995) Show Me Your Neon is on view November 18 – December 31, 2019 at Gallery 1202.Holly creates installations, assemblages and works on paper, integrating non-traditional approaches with more traditional sewing techniques associated with the history of women. Her approach is both non-conventional but also deeply rooted in her history and culture. Winter Solstice opens November 16 at MarinMOCA and is on view through December 22, 2019.
Paul Valadez (BFA 1997) Visiones Latinx: Selections from the Permanent Collection and Mucho Caramelo If you are in New Jersey before December 11, 2019 check out Paul Valadez’s group show Visiones Latinx: Selections from the Permanent Collection, and click the link above to view Mucho Caramelo, an online exhibition of Paul’s recent gift to the Latin American Studies program at University of the Pacific in Stockton, California.
Seattle, WA
Boundaries – Claire Brandt (MFA 2005) Boundaries, opening Nov. 14 and on view through December 9, 2019 at The Factory in Seattle, WA is an exhibition of Claire Brandt’s paintings and a performance of States of Being Traced, her interactive drawing project.
Austin, TX
Allochory – Jamie Spinello (MFA 2007) Jamie Spinello’s 7 foot tall sculpture, "Allochory”, will open on Saturday, November 16 as part of an outdoor sculpture group exhibit, "Convergence". “Convergence” is a collection of public art works that were funded by the City of Austin for 2019 as part of the Art In Public Places, Tempo Program. This is an official registered East Austin Studio Tour Event located at #456 on the tour map.
Top image credit: (left) Jordan Taylor Holms,��Holy Grails and Zero Degrees, 2019, Acrylic on canvas, 24 x 20 inches. (right) Jordan Taylor Holms, Look the Part, 2019, Acrylic and oil pastel on canvas, 13 x 11 inches.
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sciencespies · 3 years ago
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The True History Behind 'Six,' the Tudor Musical About Henry VIII's Wives
https://sciencespies.com/history/the-true-history-behind-six-the-tudor-musical-about-henry-viiis-wives/
The True History Behind 'Six,' the Tudor Musical About Henry VIII's Wives
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Meilan Solly
Associate Editor, History
Inspiration struck Toby Marlow during a comparative poetry class at Cambridge University in fall 2016. Participating in a discussion on William Blake, he found his mind wandering and began scribbling a series of unrelated notes: “Henry VIII’s wives → like a girl group … Need Lucy!!” 
Then an undergraduate student tasked with writing an original show for the upcoming Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Marlow brought his idea to classmate Lucy Moss, who agreed to help bring his vision of a Tudor-themed pop musical to life. The product of the pair’s collaboration—Six, a modern reimagining of the lives of Henry VIII’s six wives—premiered on London’s West End in 2019 to much acclaim. (A cast soundtrack released in September 2018 similarly became an unqualified success.) Now, after an extended delay caused by the Covid-19 pandemic, the musical is finally making its Broadway debut.
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L to R: Abby Mueller (Jane Seymour), Samantha Pauly (Katherine Howard), Adrianna Hicks (Catherine of Aragon), Andrea Macasaet (Anne Boleyn), BrittneyMack (Anna of Cleves) and Anna Uzele (Catherine Parr)
Liz Lauren
Six “didn’t come out of a love of the Tudor period particularly,” says Marlow, 26. “It came from us having an interest in the representation of women in musical theater, having women on stage doing funny and hilarious things.” Moss, 27, adds, “What we were interested in doing was reframing the way that women have been perceived in history and telling their side of the story.”
The Tudor period, with its “soap opera”-esque political machinations and rich cast of female characters, offered the duo the opportunity to explore contemporary issues like feminism through a historical lens. Though Six prominently features the rhyme historically used to describe the fates of the Tudor king’s queens—“divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived”—the musical moves beyond these reductive one-word summaries to present its subjects as fully realized individuals. “With all of them,” says Moss, “there was so much of interest beyond the moment they got married or divorced.”
Marlow and Moss drew on a range of sources when writing Six, including Antonia Fraser’s The Wives of Henry VIII and documentaries hosted by historianLucy Worsley. The musical’s layered repartee deftly balances references to Tudor culture with nods to modern music, like the line “Stick around and you’ll suddenly see more” (a play on “Suddenly, Seymour” from Little Shop of Horrors). Still, Marlow explains, the show’s goal isn’t to convey history with 100 percent accuracy. Instead, “It’s [asking], ‘What if Anne Boleyn was like this?’ And how does that change the way you think about this very famous historical figure?”
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Six frames its story as a makeshift talent competition in which the wife whose life was most tragic “wins.” The rules are simple: “The queen who was dealt the worst hand … shall be the one to lead the band.” Each wife sings a solo summarizing her experiences, engaging in acerbic banter in between verses. (During these numbers, the other wives act as both backup singers and dancers; beyond the six solos, the 80-minute show features three group numbers.) Ultimately, the women decide to form a girl band instead, leaving the king out of the narrative and imagining an alternate future featuring far happier ends for all of them.
Historian Jessica Storoschuk, who has written about Six extensively on her blog, has found that in school and popular culture, the queens are usually only talked about in terms of their fate. “[Six] is this kind of ridiculous satire of [that],” she says. “It’s a really intelligent way to explore their experiences, or, I should say, one part of their experiences, because their downfalls are not all of their lives.”
Below, find a song-by-song (or wife-by-wife) breakdown of the true history behind Six. Click through the interactive tools to learn more about specific lyrics from the show.
The song: “No Way,” a Beyoncé- and JLo-inspired “girl boss feminism” anthem, says Moss
Though Catherine of Aragon’s marriage to Henry lasted 24 years—collectively, his five other marriages spanned just 14 years—she has long been overshadowed by her successors. The daughter of Spanish monarchs Ferdinand and Isabella, Catherine came to England as the bride of Henry’s older brother, Arthur, Prince of Wales. But Arthur died shortly after the pair’s wedding, leading the Spanish princess to (eventually) marry his heir, Henry. 
By all accounts, the couple enjoyed a loving relationship that only deteriorated due to a lack of a male heir and the king’s infatuation with Anne Boleyn. In the late 1520s, Henry sought a divorce from his first wife, arguing that her previous relationship with Arthur was the reason for the couple’s lack of a surviving son. Determined to protect her daughter Mary’s rights, Catherine refused to concede.
Apple News readers, click here to view this interactive.
Six’s account of these events, “No Way,” takes its cue from a June 21, 1529, meeting at Blackfriars in London. After years of debate over the validity of the royal couple’s marriage, a papal court was conceived to address the king’s so-called Great Matter. Appealing directly to her husband, Catherine fell to her knees and delivered an impassioned monologue:
Intending (as I perceive) to put me from you, I take God and all the world to witness, that I have been to you a true and humble wife, ever conformable to your will and pleasure. … If there be any just cause by the law that ye can allege against me, either of dishonesty or any other impediment to banish and put me from you, I am well content to depart, to my great shame and dishonor; and if there be none, then here I most lowly beseech you let me remain in my former estate, and receive justice at your princely hand.
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A 1544 portrait of the future Mary I, Henry and Catherine’s daughter
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
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Portrait believed to depict a young Catherine of Aragon
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
After uttering these words, Catherine left Blackfriars, ignoring the clerk’s calls for her to return. Without turning around, she declared, “On, on, it makes no matter, for it is no impartial court for me, therefore I will not tarry.” The queen was correct in her assessment: Henry had no intention of remaining in the marriage. Determined to wed Anne, he broke from the Catholic Church in order to make her his wife.
Catherine’s Six solo could’ve been a “super emotional [sad] ballad,” says Moss. Instead, she and Marlow chose to emphasize the queen’s defiance, emulating Beyoncé’s “Run the World (Girls)” and setting the tone for the rest of the musical.
The real Catherine followed through on her fictionalized counterpart’s pledge to remain “queen till the end of my life,” refusing to acknowledge her marriage’s annulment even on her deathbed in 1536. Catherine’s legacy, historian Julia Fox told Smithsonian magazine last year, “is that of a wronged woman … who did not accept defeat, who fought for what she believed to be right until the breath left her body.”
The song: “Don’t Lose Ur Head,” a “cheeky” number modeled on Lily Allen and Kate Nash, according to Moss
Arguably the most (in)famous of the six wives, Anne is alternatively portrayed as a scheming, power-hungry seductress; a victim of her callous father’s vaulting ambition; or a worldly, charismatic woman who rose to the kingdom’s highest office only to be targeted by jealous men.
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A near-contemporary painting of Anne Boleyn
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
The truth of the matter depends on which scholar one asks. Most of Anne’s letters and papers were destroyed following her May 1536 execution on contrived charges of adultery, incest, witchcraft and conspiring to kill her husband, so much of what is known about her comes from outside observers, some of whom had reason to paint her in an unforgiving light. Even the queen’s date of birth, writes historian Antonia Fraser, is a fact “that can never be known with absolute certainty (like so much about Anne Boleyn).”
Anne’s song in Six, “Don’t Lose Ur Head,” draws its name from her method of execution: beheading by sword. Moss says she and Marlow view the number as a playful response to historians’ continued vilification of the queen as “calculating and manipulative”: “We were like, wouldn’t it be fun to mock [that trope] and make it that she was like ‘Well, I’m just living. I did this thing randomly, and now everything’s gone crazy.’”
Apple News readers, click here to view this interactive tool.
Though the tone of “Don’t Lose Ur Head” is intentionally more irreverent than the real queen, who Storoschuk says “was incredibly shrewd, very well educated, well read and well spoken,” the broad strokes of the song are historically accurate. Anne spent her teenage years in the courts of Margaret of Austria and Francis I of France, gaining a cosmopolitan worldview that helped her stand out in England. When she caught Henry’s eyes, she was a maid of honor in service of his first wife; rather than becoming Henry’s mistress, as her sister Mary had, Anne refused to sleep with the king until they were married. To wed Anne, Henry broke with the Catholic Church and established himself as head of the Church of England. Finally, the once-besotted king fell out of love in dramatic—and, for Anne, fatal—fashion just three years after their long-awaited marriage.
The song: “Heart of Stone,” a slow, Adele-like ballad
Henry’s third wife, Jane Seymour, has gone down in history as the “boring” one. According to Fraser, she was intelligent and “naturally sweet-natured,” with the “salient characteristics [of] virtue and common good sense.” Historian Alison Weir similarly describes Jane as “endowed with all the qualities then thought becoming in a wife: meekness, docility and quiet dignity.” 
Moss and Marlow tried to flesh out these descriptions by highlighting Jane’s political savvy. During her comparatively brief courtship with Henry, Jane drew on many of the same tactics used by Anne Boleyn, most notably by refusing to sleep with him until they were married. Presenting a submissive front may have been a tactic, says Moss. It’s also worth noting that Jane used her position to advance causes she cared about, including restoring her stepdaughters, Mary and Elizabeth, to their father’s favor and speaking out against the closure of England’s religious houses.
Apple News readers, click here to view this interactive.
On one occasion, Henry reportedly dismissed his new wife by advising her to “attend to other things, [for] the last queen had died in consequence of meddling too much in state affairs.” “Heart of Stone” acknowledges this risk, but Six’s version of Jane chooses to remain steadfast in her love of Henry and their son, the future Edward VI.
Following Jane’s death in childbirth in 1537, Henry memorialized her as “the fairest, the most discreet and the most meritorious of all his wives”—a distinction no doubt motivated by the fact that she’d given the king his only surviving male heir, writes Weir. (Edward took the throne “Six” reflects this enviable status by identifying Jane as “the only one he truly loved.” As she herself acknowledges in “Heart of Stone,” however, Henry’s affection is conditional on her ability to provide him with a son.
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Henry chose to include Jane, rather than his then-wife, Catherine Parr, in this dynastic portrait. Painted around 1545, the work depicts Edward, Henry and Jane at its center and Mary and Elizabeth in the wings.
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
Speaking with Vulture last year, Moss said, “The idea was about the strength of choosing to love someone and committing to someone, and that being an equally valid feminist experience.” She added, “I love that [Jane] gets to say, ‘I wasn’t stupid, I wasn’t naïve.’”
The song: “Get Down,” a 16th-century take on the rap and hip-hop “trope of being popular and bragging about your Ferrari and your Grey Goose,” says Moss
Anne (or, as the musical calls her, Anna) of Cleves was, in some historians’ view, the most successful of Henry’s six queens. After just six months of marriage, she earned the king’s enduring affection by agreeing to an annulment. Then, she proceeded to outlive her former husband, not to mention the rest of his wives, by a decade. “[Anne] did get pushed to the side in a rather unceremonious way, but she had a pretty good life,” says Storoschuk. “She was given several properties. She gambled a lot. She got to go hunting, she had the best clothes and the best food. She was loved at court.”
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A 1540s portrait of Anne of Cleves by Bartholomaeus Bruyn the Elder
St. John’s College, University of Oxford, via Art U.K. under CC BY-NC-ND
“Get Down” focuses on this victorious period in Anne’s life, celebrating her independence as a wealthy, unmarried woman at Tudor court. In line with the musical’s goal of reclaiming the narrative, the number also reframes the incident that led to Anne’s annulment. Henry, enchanted by a flattering Hans Holbein portrait of his bride-to-be, was reportedly repulsed by the “tall, big-boned and strong-featured” woman who arrived in England at the beginning of 1540. Declaring “I like her not! I like her not!” after their first meeting, the king only went through with the wedding to maintain diplomatic ties with Anne’s home, the German Duchy of Cleves, and other Protestant allies across the European continent.
After just six months of marriage, Henry, eager to replace his short-reigning queen with the young, vivacious Katherine Howard, had the union annulled on the grounds of non-consummation and Anne’s pre-contract with Francis, Duke of Lorraine. Anne, from then on known as the “king’s beloved sister,” spent the rest of her days in luxury.
Apple News readers, click here to view this interactive.
Moss studied history at Cambridge and says much of her schoolwork centered around early modern German visual culture. Six actually includes a standalone song, “Haus of Holbein,” that satirizes 16th-century beauty culture and Henry’s portrait-driven search for a fourth wife: “Hans Holbein goes around the world / Painting all of the beautiful girls / From Spain / To France / And Germany / The king chooses one / But which one will it be?”
Given Holbein’s reputation for accuracy and Henry’s own declining looks (at the time of the couple’s wedding, the king was 48 years old), Marlow and Moss chose to turn the tables, having Anne proclaim herself a fan of the much-vilified portrait. Further cementing Anne’s mastery of the situation, “Get Down”’s refrain finds the supposedly unattractive queen hanging up her likeness “for everyone to see.”
The song: “All You Wanna Do,” a catchy number modeled on the work of “young pop stars sexualized early on in their careers,” like Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears and Ariana Grande, as Marlow told Vulture
For much of history, Henry’s fifth wife, Katherine Howard, has been dismissed as a wanton woman of little import. Writing in 1991, Weir described her as a “frivolous, empty-headed young girl who cared for little else but dancing and pretty clothes.” Fraser, meanwhile, wrote that “[h]ere was no intelligent adult woman, wise in the ways of the world—and of course courts.” More recent scholarship has taken a sympathetic view of the queen, with Gareth Russell’s 2017 book, Young and Damned and Fair, leading the conversation. As Russell argues, “[Katherine] was toppled by a combination of bad luck, poor decisions, and the Henrician state’s determination to punish those who failed its king.” 
Katherine’s Six solo, titled “All You Wanna Do,” echoes Russell’s characterization of its subject as a victim of circumstance and predatory older men. Though her exact birthdate is unknown, Katherine may have been as young as 17 when she was beheaded on charges of treasonous adultery in February 1542. Henry, comparatively, was 50 at the time of his disgraced wife’s execution.
Apple News readers, click here to view this interactive.
The king was far from the first man to sexualize Katherine. “All You Wanna Do” details the queen’s relationships in heart-wrenching detail, from a liaison with her music teacher, Henry Manox (the song suggests that he was 23 to Katherine’s 13, but as Storoschuk points out, he may have been closer to 33), to an affair with Francis Dereham, secretary to the dowager duchess, Katherine’s step-grandmother. When each new romance begins, the teenager declares herself hopeful that this time will be different. By the end of the song, however, she realizes that all of her suitors have the same goal in mind.
According to Moss, she and Marlow wanted Katherine’s song to start out with a “sexy, seductive” tone before transforming into a “narrative of abuse” with echoes of today’s #MeToo movement. Marlow adds, “It was kind of like us talking about what happened to one of the queens and finding a way of relating it to something that we would recognize as a modern female experience.”
Katherine’s “life was so tragic,” says Storoschuk. “She was so young, and she really had very little agency over her own life. ‘All You Wanna Do’ really encompasses that.”
The song: “I Don’t Need Your Love,” a soulful, Alicia Keys–inspired love song
Often reduced to the one-word summary of “survived” or the role of nursemaid to a succession of ailing husbands, Henry’s sixth wife, Catherine Parr, was actually a renowned scholar, religious reformer and perhaps even protofeminist. In Six, she takes ownership of these attributes, refusing to be defined by her romantic relationships and instead listing her manifold accomplishments: “Remember that I was a writer / I wrote books and psalms and meditations / Fought for female education / So all my women can independently study scripture / I even got a woman to paint my picture.”
Apple News readers, click here to view this interactive.
As the last of the six to take the stage, the fictionalized Catherine has dual obligations: namely, sharing her story and setting up a satisfying musical finale. “We needed one of the queens to be like ‘Wait, we shouldn’t be competing with each other. We should support each other,’” says Moss. “Fortunately, [Catherine’s role] as a writer, educator and advocate for women helped with that.” Encouraging the wives to take back the microphone, Catherine calls for them to assert themselves outside of their marriages to Henry. “It’s not what went down in history,” the six admit, “[b]ut tonight, I’m singing this for me.”
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Catherine Parr’s fourth husband, Thomas Seymour
Public domain via Wikimedia Commons
The real Catherine led a rich life beyond what’s captured in “I Don’t Need Your Love.” As alluded to by the song’s first verses, which find Catherine telling a lover that she has “no choice” but to marry the king, the twice-married young widow initially had another suitor in mind: Thomas Seymour, the dashing younger brother of Henry’s third wife, Jane. (The would-be couple wed soon after Henry’s death in 1547, but their marriage was tainted by Thomas’ improper conduct toward his new stepdaughter, the future Elizabeth I.)
Despite being forced into a relationship with Henry, Catherine made the most of her position, pushing her husband to embrace Protestantism and encouraging him to restore his daughters to the line of succession. She narrowly escaped an attempt by the court’s conservative faction to have her executed on charges of heresy, winning back Henry’s favor even after he’d signed a warrant for her arrest. Catherine died just a year after the king, succumbing to complications from childbirth in 1548.
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Based on a True Story
British History
Elizabeth I
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Henry VIII
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harrv · 8 years ago
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today may not be a good time to post this and im sorry for blowing up ur notifs but what the fuck !!!! i hit 1.1k followers !!!! i usually do my follow forever posts at end of the year but i didn’t do this last year bc i was waiting to hit 1k ! now here i am !
i made this blog on april 21, 2014 and had my first post in may 1st of the same year then abandoned this blog and officially came back after a year and now this blog has been running since july 2015 lmao it took me 2 yrs to get 1k rip me
anyways! my experience here on tumblr is Awesome so far! (i am not being sarcastic) (or am i?) and i met great people thru here and have made a lot of amazing friends and lost quite a few, sadly
of course @ everyone thank you thank you thank you thank you all for making my tumblr experience great! i still don’t even understand why y'all still follow my lame ass trash of a blog but i couldn’t ask for more lol i love y'all for still keeping up
NOW all i wanted to do right now at this very fucking moment is to give my mutuals a Huge Shoutout for being so so fucking lovely and so so fucking awesome and so so fucking nice! (even tho i only every occasionally talked to some of you and wish i had the guts to talk to everyone), my sappy ff starts below! :)
special mentions
the pepito elvis gc (i am only mentioning the ones that talk the most) - amy aka the louie who mistaken this harrie gc for a larrie gc (@given-a-chance), cat (@smolbirds), brenda aka my mom (@sweetcreature-lou), amber aka pure (@skamb3r) , antwahnise (@gilmoregirlsau), and fucking ciarra aka #1 harry hater who also sings like an angel (@larriez)
what the flipping fuck guys i love every single one of you??? thank fuck im in the same gc as y'all and thanks for indulging the shit outta me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even this gc is still a Baby (its only three weeks old) i had so many fun memories with y’all :’) and i think its really cute waking up with like 79 messages <3</p>
henri (@onlyangele) - love even tho we had only talked thru replies u made me laugh so much binch wish we could talk more
vika (@louisosoft) - the sweetest darling!!! every time i see u on my notifs i fucking smile bc i just love ur blog ok??? and i love ur cat even tho i kinda despise cats (dont block me im a dog person)
libby (@angelpolvo) -  girl………………… ur the Gayest and also the Nicest and i just love the shit out of you??? i love that we screamed over josephine vander bc thats what gays do right ??? and bitch??? is she urs already???? I AM DYING TO KNOW PLS UPDATE ME
rachel (@sugarbabykink) - rachel, u cute ok?? ur very fucking cute and i love seeing you on my dash, tw*tter tl, and ig :’) and **** ** ******** forever
liz (@angelharry) - remember when u wanna change your url but you’re scared and i was the one who encouraged you to change it and supported u thru it wow Great Times lol and i love your shitposts???? you’re one of the funniest people i met in my life ??  wow ?????????????
……and of fucking course, the snapchat king, the louis to my harry, the harry to my louis, my moon and stars, the bitch who still puts up with my stupid gay ass and im wondering why he still does that wtf……………………………..
agatha (@lourrious) - bih. what the fuck ??? i would d*e for you???? i never thought we’d be friends until Now??????? such Soulmates we are, aren’t we? the universe really found a way for us to meet again ? wow ? and thank fuck i knew you !!!! thank you for always making my day and making me laugh with ur snaps and making me smile whenever im sad. you are always there to comfort me, and i never met someone like that til you. bih, i would sell my liver just to meet you in person. im getting all sappy bc of u bitch and i love getting sappy. i treasure you very close to my heart. heck i treasure you in my heart. you’re always in my heart bih :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3)
that’s it whew okay lets start
(bolded are…well..u know the drill)
# to b
@1-800-garbage @1989rosesxx @19yrs @1dconcertblog @3chic @8walls @acejade @aimhpal @alestiaa @alwaysinmyheartweet @amaerie @anathemaer @anchorliam @andd-all-his-little-things @ange1s @angelbud @angelharry @angelhoney @angeliety @angeltaurus @asterfairy @aurae @avenroger @babeharrie @beauthxrry @beingsoft @bengaligf @beysharrys @bloglaurel711 @blushbae @boringangel @buerella @butimthechosen1 
c to e
@candybisous @catharticphan @cherrielouie @chilllarries @coffeegirlfriend @compasstatt @complementarytatts @constellarry @curlycuelou @dancerharry @dareharry @degenerateharry @doriangrayss @dvinefeminine @eclecticitys @ecliptique @edolouis @elebeard @engjelll @estrelune @etherealnyc @everrsincenewyork @eversincesnlharry @exposealienharry
f to g
@fairydustlou @favoriteirishmember @feminist-tomlinson @fendiontop @filthyt0kyo @fireprocf @flowoury @flufy-louis @fondsmol @fooledangel @foolsgoldkink @forharrys @frickydazzle @fuckboivibes @fuckingastrology @gaysfic @gayymothman @geantle @geminivenus  @gigglelou @gilmoregirlsau @girlov @given-a-chance @glitterrthug @gloomycancer @glowingangel @glowystyle @godgavemelou @goldenharrie @goldvnbby @grapefruitseltzer @grinching @growgardens 
h to k
@h-isforhome @happileeds @happlouis @haroldtwerkin @harrsys @harryandlana @harryfromplanetstyles @harryftariana @harryhugs @harrylouie @harryrs @harrys @harrysgayalbum @harrystyles-mybabyboy @harrystylesisaprettyprincess @harrystylesthealbum @harryz @hazzastop @heckheckk @hershelstyles @hesnlt @highlightharry @holyfucklarrry @homeisharry @homelyrics @homemp3 @horchati @howgreenmetblue @hufflepufsh @hzzs @imafoolforlou @iridescentblooms @itrose @itslovestylinson @jeffsazoff @jennydixon @kalelube @kathrynactually @kingsofpeace @kissharryufool @kitkatp @kiwilivemp3 @knjpeg
l to m
@languidheart @larriekisses @larriez @larrsygettinglarried @larrydagger @latte-louis @laurnts @lhrryonce @liames @lilcurlies @liltinylouis @louiesdarlings @louis2k15 @louisbuttcheek @louisisloved @louislikesboys @louislittletummy @louisosoft @louiswantstomarryharry @lourrious @lovehoperomance @loves2much @loveutae @lthica @lunarosa @magicalhalo @memeharry @menudo @mexicanasapphic @minirose @mitamdemo @mitamhalo @moonblessd @moonsunhl @mounshine @mutualfond
n to r
@notsebastan @oceanoflouis @ofsighs @olivemel @onlyangele @onlyangelharold @oopstatt @organicysl @packersbeanie @pearlgorl @petalful @peterpansexuallarrie @pinkflowerlarrie @pinkflowersharry @pinkhalo @poppunknouis @poptropicaofficial @purerosewaters @rainbowlads @realfalsiane @realytired @redsatin @redyke @rlphlaurn @rose-forces @rosegoldeyelids @rosehoneywater @roseofhalfeti @rosedgirls @roseputa @roseylouie @rosyharry 
s
@satinmilk @scaryharrybooeylouis @sccorpio @secret-lil-rendez-vous @sherrybomb @shimmersapphic @skamb3r @smolbeanlt @smolbirds @sofharry @some-guys-like-guys @spaannk @spceboystyles @sspookyjimchristmas @strawberrylipg1oss @strawberrypiebaby @styles2017 @stylesandtrash @stylespaceboy @stylespug @stylinsoney @stylishirish @sugarbabykink @sweetcreature-lou @syzygay 
t to z
@t-h-e-q-u-i-e-t @thegayankle @thegaynkle @thekhilla @thelovesclubs @thereylouis @thestyles @tigertat @tomlinfeeling @tomlinfinitys @tomlinsonaoki @toxicsxciety @trianglelouie @tzujs @unf @vanillagloss @vagueangel @vainbitch @vibrantess @victoryjacket @viplourry @virgomtv @warmfringe @waturs @westindia @wildepixie @wwwlouis @xlytherin @yowapeda @yslfond @yvesdidas @yvhes @zarnes @zourrygf
i thought i’d like to add my fave non mutuals bc i usually unfollow non mutuals but here are the ones that made it so hard for me to click on their unfollow button:
@organicstunts @kindofsharethat @dunkirks @domestic-harry @softhie @thedebutsingle @worththewhiletweet @youfuckingloosah @softestswan @birdonahotdog 
YA THAT’S IT FOR NOW BYE
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einstienette · 7 years ago
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Hi I saw a post of yours where you said you would be majoring in Civil Engineering in uni. I may want to pursue engineering as a career. Could you provide some guidance on colleges, programs and what Civil Engineering is? Thanks -L
Hey, thanks for asking! So glad ur considering engineering as a career, and civil might be one of ur disciplines! For universities, it depends. Some schools have a separate application for specifically THAT school of engineering, rather than the university. Some just ask you to check off what discipline you’re interested in. Research what type of universities have a school for engineering and see if you might be interested!
Look up how competitive is the school, and what are your chances of getting in (I used Cappex and it helped out a lot. I was able to narrow down what schools to apply to and what were my chances of getting in). If you’re a freshman/sophomore/junior and you’re thinking about doing engineering enrichment programs/internships ohhh my god, please do it. It helps soooo much on your application like you will not believe it.
http://www.engineeringedu.com/store/index.php?route=information/information&information_id=8
That link above helps you find engineering programs for hs students by state (sorry if ur an international student, then idk :/ )
Civil engineering is mainly the construction and maintenance of buildings, highways, roads, etc… but they have different concentrations! Some of them are structural, environmental & water resources, geotechnical, and transportation engineering.
When ur in uni, after your second year, you start taking classes more focused on your concentration. The average amount of time you would have to spend for your bachelor’s degree if you decide to do civil engineering is about 4-6 years.
If you have any more questions or anything, feel free to message me and I’ll be happy to tell you more about my hs experience, advice on the college process, and whatever information that helps you decide what to do in the future!
Best of luck,
Liz
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