#livinmyteenlife

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

when me and my crush had an eye to eye contact

[condimentum-blog]

Hi :) I just wanted to tell you that I included you to my Follow Friday post/17326055936/yhens-follow-friday-guys-i-am-now-presenting ! JSYK :) Thanks for making my dashboard colorful with your posts, hope that you'll stay amazing! God Bless and have a good day!

Thank you so much! :')

[seventeenislife-blog]

kadarating lang ni inay, nagdala ng empanada for pasalubong :) Syempre nangunguna si yeye (livinmyteenlife) sa pagkuha ng tuna flavored empanada. Bute pa ako hindi choosy. Kahit anong flavor, keri lang :) beef and tuna . oye :)) My naalala ako sa empanada :) Eh kasi 24 nga ngayon diba ? :P

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+: summer in bullets

Learning French - the first few weeks of my summer break was spent being bilingual. I am actually bilingual already, I am fluent in both English and Filipino (I should've said Tagalog, but I remembered what my Filipino professor said sooo, yep.) I know I wouldn't even need French in the near future, but because I was fascinated with this language, I decided to give it a go. Actually, I'm still stuck at Module 1 because I've been busy after taking up the first few lessons but I've already signed myself up for the Beginner's Italian course.

Going to the beach + wonderful beachside nightlife - after Jacob's, our sweet little puppy, passing (rest in peace, baby boy), Dad decided to cheer us up by taking us to Boracay. The nerves aren't kicking yet until I rode the plane. It was my first time riding one so ha ha go judge me. It did made us happy, the beach is so lovely and the nightlife is one of the things I definitely miss. Ahhhh I miss the beach so much I swore I would definitely come back after my baccalaureate graduation (I have to wait for 3 years but so what). I've been an indoor person always but going to that paradise, I realized how much I loved sitting by the beach, stepping on the fine white sand, having a legit reason to wear swimsuits, appreciating the lively nightlife and watching different cultures bond.

Back at South, but not really South-south - shortly, and I mean the-very-next-day shortly, we went to my father's province, Mindoro, and spent the rest of the Holy Week there. T'was actually a much less exciting experience but nevertheless, it was fulfilling. I am never a fan of living provincial style (I am always the city girl by heart, but where I'm living is actually still considered a province, yeah, go figure) but it was kinda fun too. Highlights were going to this river resort even for just a few hours, singing non-stop in the karaoke before going back home and finishing 2/3 of the Divergent trilogy.

Some schtuffs - after going back here in the North, t'was a swirl of events; coloring my hair a couple of shades lighter, my sister's baccalaureate graduation, some strolls and roadtrips, planning my *hopefully* 18th debut party, attending an 18th debut party, celebrating my best friend's pajama / swimming birthday party, enrolling myself for the next term and other stuffs. Yeah ... stuffs.

Books, Movies and TV Shows - ahhh yessss, summer wouldn't be complete without these three gems. I've watched movies or tv shows by day and red a couple of novels by night. I've been reviewing some books too in Goodreads and I find it fun being a critic, giving opinions and rating well-deserved novels. My summer reads are always a mix of different YA genres particularly dystopian and contemporary romance. I've also seen a couple of movies online and in theatres; I've watched the sequel of The Amazing Spiderman earlier this month (GWEN STACY I WAS ROOTING FOR YOUUUU) and I was planning on watching Maleficent and *drum rolls* The Fault In Our Stars later this month too.  For my TV Show cravings, I've finished Pushing Daisies (ahhh, a great and quirky show, I LOVED IT and two seasons are not enough!) and I'm currently in the season 2 of Once Upon A Time (badass. That show is badass and cool and I feel like a giddy child once again with those fairytale references). I've been planning to watch Once Upon A Time in Wonderland and Teen Wolf afterwards sooo, yep. I do hope I'm finished with the former before the term starts.

*PENDING LAST MINUTE SUMMER TO-DO'S INSERT HERE *WINK**

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+: To Jacob

I remember the first time we’ve met. You’re the grumpiest and most snobby puppy I’ve ever seen. You didn’t liked it when we scratched the back of your ears and you always jump from our arms whenever we carry you. You didn’t liked me. It was a mutual feeling; you’re not my most favorite from the three puppies either. I preferred your little uncle, Tutti. Whenever I go to Mama’s house, I can rarely see you because you always hide from me. Tutti and Gray will happily welcome me and lick my fingers but you stayed farther, watching me as I cuddle the two.

Mom don’t like puppies. She didn’t like any animal as a pet at all. So when she said we’ll adopt one from the three of you, I was clearly overjoyed. I suggested her to get Tutti because he’s the sweetest.

One tired evening, I came home and heard Mom said that she got ‘Jacob’. I was confused, I mean, who’s Jacob? Then I saw you. A little grumpy and sad looking puppy, sitting under my Mom’s bed table … a puppy on her bedroom! I admit, I didn’t really like the idea of you getting picked over Tutti. But Mom insisted that she liked you because you’re shy and quiet. So I felt a little bit curious and excited of you. But you still don’t like me or any of my sisters. You just want Mom and you just follow her wherever she goes.

You are very shy and scared of us. You shake terribly whenever we tried to hug or carry you. You don’t want to be touched. I tried talking to Mom about your attitude but she’s still curious about you. So I just tried working with your behavior.

There came the bathing duties. On the first few days, Mom bathed you. Then I accompanied her bathing you. Until I was the only one bathing you most of the time. You never resisted on bath time, in fact, it is as if you’re looking forward to it. I loved the way you smell, that’s when I started loving you. You don’t have that stinky dog smell, Mom said you shouldn’t smell bad. You made my sister’s room your own personal toilet that she became tired of cleaning your junk and made a makeshift wooden fence so you won’t be able to step on her room again. You learned to pee or poo on the laundry room. You made Pikachu your own chew toy. You became sooooo active we can’t actually keep up with you.

One evening again, I called your name, expecting you’ll peek at the screen door as you always did whenever I come home and instead of you, I saw a little fluff, a puppy smaller than you. Gray. And I was so confused. Mom said she replaced you with Gray and we should call him Jacob instead. We obliged, since we can’t resist his cuteness. The problem is, he’s too loud and too hyper. And …. he’s not you. I get the feeling of missing you. Gray, although really cute and irresistable, is different. We agreed to take you back as soon as we can.

You came back and I am so happy. And then you stopped shaking whenever I carry you. You started to accompany me whenever I wash the dishes. You liked it whenever I sing to you. You lick the bottle’s butt whenever I am refilling them with water. You started to sit beside me whenever I eat, waiting for me to drop down some food for you. It seems weird to me that you loved bread, that you do that little cute hungry face whenever we eat ANY kind of bread. And so we always keep in mind to give you some for breakfast.

And then you learned how to ruin things and bite them and chew them all. I once came home with the floor full of scraps of paper and knocked things. You stared at me innocently and I smiled. I realized how much I loved you, because normally, I would really get mad because of the mess you’ve made. But no. You stared at me and jumped at me, welcoming me as if you’re presenting your piece of art.

You also became fond of biting us subtly. It doesn’t hurt but sometimes we get mad at you for doing so. We understood that your teeth are growing so we just scold you and say stop. You will stop. And then you became very active by day and so cute and quiet by night. I always scold Ate whenever she bothers you and plays you crazily whenever you’re sleepy.

You became too fond of me. And I became too fond of you too. You never bit me or go crazy whenever I carry you. I am even the first one you’ve kissed. You wait for me to come home and guard me as I eat and wash the dishes. You listened to my goddamned singing. You even guard me whenever I go to the bathroom to do my business. I always tuck you in before you sleep. Whenever Mom drives me to the terminal to go to school, you will always accompany me and put your head out of the window. You loved hanging your head and body in there. You loved it very much, especially when it is windy and the sun is shining pretty. And then you started waking me up. Literally. You wake me up at 6, you enter my bedroom and put you tiny paws on my legs. If I haven’t woke up yet, you will climb up and lick my ears. I will sit up and laugh. That particular moment happened just mere days ago. I remember you staring at me when I stood up, you are sitting on my sheets and I told you to eat breakfast with me and just then, you climbed out.

These last few hours are unbearable, Jacob. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It was too painful to see you struggle your sickness. Yesterday, we bought you some clothes, it was my school’s team you’re wearing. We put the cute little green shirt on you and we’re happy that you liked it. You slept in my legs the way home. We told you to keep holding on for us. Last night, we saw that you fought a little and forced yourself to be strong for us. You do. You showed us that you’re fighting. You even did what you’re normally doing last night, with so much effort, just for us to see that you’re fighting. You stayed beside me while we’re eating. You’ve eaten the fish we’ve given you underneath the table (just like what you’re always doing) and you accompanied me again in the kitchen.

I told you that you can do it a while ago. I can’t bear to look at you. I stayed outside of the clinic. I knew that morning that you are already weak. And I am also tired, Jacob. I am also very weak. We both tried, we all tried. I took the last picture of you and posted it on Instagram, saying “Get well soon”. We left you for a while and came back home. I was prepared. I knew it will come. I cried at the shower. I cried a lot. After an hour, you left us. I stayed at home, I don’t want to see your tiny, already thin, lifeless body. Mom said you looked like you were just sleeping. I just can’t bear it. I don’t have the guts.

Before we left you at the vet, I said you are Superman. You stared at me when I bid goodbye. I didn’t mean that it was my last goodbye after all. I just want to remember you as my sweet, playful and intelligent puppy.

We are all torn by your loss, most especially Mom. She can’t shut up about you. She can’t stop crying. The woman I knew who hated pets …. broke her heart because of your loss. She loved you so much Jacob and I felt her pain too. So much. Me and mom are the ones who grew too fond of you and I know we’re yours too. At least you get to know and see Dad hours before you left. I wanted you to know that he wanted you for so long and he’s equally sad to see you go too. He’s torn too, that we are deeply affected by your loss. He had done everything he could, we got out of the house and we’ll be going out of town for a week. But your ghost is not in our home, it is in our hearts.

I am so heartbroken. I never felt this kind of loss before. It is a new feeling, it is not sadness. It is a very painful loss, like a hole has been cut in my chest. For a month, both of us grew. For a month, you’ve changed this household. You made quite a history in our family. You completed what’s missing. You built different dreams. Others say that we should replace you to mend the wound. My mom and I have the same answer: never in a million years. I wanted a dog. I am waiting for a pet until you came and made my life happier. Then you left. I don’t want to replace you. You are too special, you’re our first pet and the emotional trauma is too much. I can’t even breathe and think normally at the moment.

You are with us for just a month. You loathed me on your first two months and loved me at your last. You left too early but you made a great impact on our hearts. Jacob, I miss you. I love you, my baby boy.

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+: url change, start of summer break, delirium trilogy nostalgia and second year in college thoughts

So it's been two years since I last changed my url so it seems only fitting to change it something Taylor Swift-ish finally. Obviously, it was inspired by The Lucky Ones. It should be looklikeasixtiesqueen but unfortunately it was already taken. Believe me, I've spent an hour thinking about a new url. I've tried burnedtoobright (from the spoken narration of the IKYWT mv), twoheadlightsshine (from Treacherous), lostintranslation (from All Too Well) and butlovinghimwasred (from, obv, Red). But I loved my new url, nevertheless.

It was officially the start of my summer break and I'm feeling what I'm feeling last summer. I do hope this one's better. I have so many plans this summer break and hopefully, I would have done them before the new school year opens.

IDK, it just occurs to me that I always associate summer with Delirium. Maybe it's because I first red it in 2011, I made my Delirium blog in 2012 and I've campaigned for the TV show last year. What's in store for Delirium this summer? I'm thinking I should buy Panic by Lauren Oliver but the moment I first saw it on the local bookstore, it practically screamed Delirium to me. I missed this fandom, srsly.

I'm still waiting for my grades to appear as of the moment and I'm crossing fingers that I wouldn't fail to any of my subjects this semester. Seriously, I wouldn't want to flunk in any of my subjects. I don't think I could handle being an irregular student anymore. I don't want to retake my subjects, ever. But still, I am excited for new possibilities when I enter my second year. I know it's a whole new experience and subjects and I'm pretty sure that if I had survived my first year full of shitty minor subjects, then I can take my exciting major ones.

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+: listening music from pop to country to indie, stressing over projects and finals, feels & realizations

Okay so this is my first time to blog about whatever's happening for ages. Blame it on the lack of time, focus and all the hassle happening when I first started going to college.

I'm not blaming anyone, though.

Well to be honest, I'm consistently enjoying the college life, sans stress, of course. It's funny because I fully understood the thing behind why am I so irritable and moody whenever the term ends but hey, I've already written the reason why a year ago. I felt as though I'm still in high school but at the same time not. Some days ago, I've received a nice copy of literary compilation book of our school publication and it just blows me hard how I missed writing. I remembered rejoicing when I was accepted to be a part of our school publication when I was in third year in high school. Now it seems that I'm neglecting that one opportunity that came to me once and never intending to write again anymore. I know that it's such cliché if I would say that everything changes when you go to college ... but it is. It's true. And there's never going back.

It scared the shit out of me sometimes, realizing how fast-paced my life is right now. One day I was practicing for graduation, then now I am stressing over some dipshit final products our professors are giving us. Not to mention, the equally shitty final exams. I wanted this term to end so bad; I never got the chance to fully rest and slow down these past few weeks. I don't really want to complain though because like what I've said, I'm enjoying college life. I loved the freedom, the newly-found outspoken attitude, the little nothings and the new opportunities.

Of course, it never fails me to think when he will finally come, I do.

Or maybe, I'm just waiting for him to come again.

Screw me reading 'Flat-Out Matt'. I've been having post-Matt Watkins feels since I've re-read 'Flat-Out Love' going to school and back at home and I wanted someone as geeky and funny and sweet and imperfect as he is right now. Fuck it.

Seriously. Matt Watkins and that bonus chapter. And I'm re-reading it again. Ugh.

This was supposed to be a college-related post. Not another book feels post.

Well, there's not much to say anyway besides being stressed and anxious and all so I think I'll just end this post with a simple ....

I want my very own Matthew Watkins.

There.

I ended it with book feels. Again.

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

so i heard taylor swift's coming back here in manila and i wanted to cry and laugh and scream and do cartwheels at the same time because i'm sure yet i'm not sure if i'm going to see her FOR.THE.FIRST.TIME.EVAHHH and i'm hoping i would because omg i've been waiting for this my whole life and i never got the chance to go to speak now world tour last 2011 because of my stupid exams and now red tour's happening in summer and that's the time when i will have to enroll for my second year in college and omg i really do hope i would go help me hrgjfdhgfhghohtriogt

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

2013 was like a roller coaster ride. Unlike 2012 which is also a year full of emotional breakdowns, confusion and challenges, 2013, though very fast, was a year full of firsts and ends.

The year kicked off with, usually and now my last Intramurals at my Alma Mater. Though nothing beats the fun and bubbly Intrams 2012, last school year's foundation celebration is rather challenging and at the same time, memorable, since this is our batch's last. My section, Perseverance, won the Field Demonstration performance (two in a row for me and my fellow ex-Benignity students).

Some events (particularly this year's Camping and Turn-Over ceremony) followed, then I finally graduated. This was the time I'm finally saying to myself: "I really grew up so fast, it's such a blizzard, I can't even believe I'm finally going to go march on that stage and get that freaking diploma off of our school directress' hands!"

Then comes the prom, or known as the Graduation Ball. Believe me on how much time I've been dreaming about this day to come and it ended ... so plainly. I don't know why, well, I do know why. But sometimes I can't help regretting that night. It's like a one night stand or something. Must be the dress or my hair. Or my very own "delayed gratification" of ... well, you'll know if you'll read further.

Summer had been the "intro" of me being an emotional wreck. Must be the nerves of being a college student in mere weeks. I'd rather not talk about this. It's so ... private and sad. Let's just say this is the start of being in the darkness.

I finally became a Psychology student. I've been dreaming this for years. I mean, c'mon! Last couple of years, I am terrified because I may not be one after I graduate high school (I thought I'm going to pursue Medicine or some other Doctoral courses). But I got it ... in my dream school, for heaven's sake! I admit it's not that popular or dream-school-worthy, but it's my school and I love it.

I wouldn't trade my major for the world. Seriously. Why would anyone choose to go otherwise? Is it because of the status of the school itself? Money? Parent's choice? Being a ball and chain on their boyfriends? (I'm serious) Such foolish reasons. If that's your dream, don't let anybody stop you. Don't let anyone choose for yourself, you know what's best for you.

I got to do the things I've never done in high school, of course, in a good way. I got to go places on my own, have my own set of friends to hang out with whenever, wherever. I got to watch a live band for the first time. I sang my heart out. I met different people. College really is the Real World 101. You get to learn new things that would come in handy as you grow up. 

And ... yes. The moment I realized there's second chance but realizing I'm a second late. And I know I can't have him any other way again, but, I do really hope he's honestly happy. As 2013 ends, I finally HAD to let go of you now. I had no reasons to hold on further, anyway.

Then I finally admitted to someone about my "dark days", since it became like a switch. It's not mood swings, it's ... something darker. And the good thing was I let go of it the moment it came. I know I am stronger and I am proud of myself for seeking help. I know I'm not alone in this. I am a survivor, a fighter.

Indie music had been my only friend that time and I will never let go of it, the very same thing it did to me when I need someone, something to hold on to.

Anyway, I'm still processing what the firsts and ends really are. I think I'm still somehow in between. It doesn't matter if I graduated in high school and went to college this year. It doesn't matter if I experienced the "darkness" I always wished to go away. It doesn't matter if I've done some things that made me happier or more confused. It's the lessons I've learned this year. It's the conclusions that came with those moments.

And I know 2014 will have so much in store for me. Negative or positive, I'll be stronger and wiser to think about the lessons it will bring.

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

Meron bang neon blinker sa noo ko, stating na I believe in destiny at true love? Pwede naman yun diba? I mean, a girl can dream, right? Madami akong gustong gawin; matutong mag-play ng kahit na anong instrument, manalo yung banda naming Neutrons Collide sa Talent Fest at makilala ang true love ko. Kaso nag-break kami ulit ng akala kong destiny at true love ko. Ang gulo din ng akala kong napaka simple at boring kong buhay. What to do, what to do? Because in every step I take, mayroong nangyayari. It's up to me kung paano ko to tatanggapin at isi-sink in sa utak at puso ko.

Hi guys! Please check out my story on Wattpad! For the fans of Filipino contemporary romance, this one's for you! Thank you guys!

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+

dammit

i wish i could dance with you all through my life and my heart will break at the same time it'll shine through the darkest of nights

sorry but it's still you

but i'm not sorry for feeling this way

and i'm definitely not sorry for hoping that you two just end it  for good    just leave. i know you're not happy anymore, i just ... sorry but i'm not sorry either.

let's

go

back

to the way it was

the way you look at me and smiled ....

the way you .... the way you just do.

i hate you       i hate you for making me love you

it has always been you 

you and everything in between

    can it be just us again?

really.

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+

Sorry. I'm just so busy with school. College and all. Ughhh

My Internet Usage is, uh, well, limited (for the lack of better word) so please bear with me.

Midterms is coming oh jeez

I don't know what to write

Ugh

What?

Yep. College is tough. You got that right kids. Don't hurry up.

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+ Happy Independence Day!

Yep. Happy Independence Day to all Filipinos.

No classes, yayyy!

    But, srsly, I don't have classes every Wednesday so yep

So college life becomes me.

Aw hell no

It's not an easy life, lemme tell you

I had to deal with different personas, I mean, it's a really different world compared to high school.

It's also my first time to ever encounter a rally against the school administration. It's pretty amusing on my part, actually, 'coz it's my first time.

No more fooling around though, in fact, I've just finished my assignments. I loved my subjects, well maybe except College Algebra and Society and Culture... but only the professor. I particularly loved General Psychology, of course, it's my major.

Perhaps, more luck to me.

And I missed my friends and my previous school so bad. I even went there with my former classmates to hang out with my previous (and still the best) adviser and we hanged out at the library, just like the old time's sake.

I can't even hate being a college student, I mean, I got to do what I  haven't done in the past. That counts as something.

I just have to wait and hope for the best :>

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+: pre-college dramas (i knew this will happen, eventually)

it's really better if you are equipped with the things that's going to happen, like what's happening literally right now. i'm freaking out because i learned that the enrollment for the freshmen is long due (april, to be exact, wtf) and i am sitting here, really confident because i told my parents that they can enroll me next week, so there will be no problems. i mean, i'm not yet even fussing about it since i learned that i passed the entrance exams. it's like 4th year all over again, i shouldn't be expecting this because i'm already at college .... but no.

to be really honest, i can't feel the support, you know? i'm going to college, like, ok, go to college whatever. when they did something good, they'll rub it in our faces, as if we got the greatest privilege in the world but to be totally honest, it is considered as an obligation. they don't get it, i mean, i really wanted to be a psychologist and i wanted to go to that school even though a typical student wouldn't even thought of it as their number one choice for college. i wanted to be there, i really can see myself studying there and my very own parents are the exact people who discourages me even more. i am already frustrated about college, missing my high school friends, having a hard time adjusting .... and they're making me even more frustrated by not supporting me on this. we wouldn't even talk about college unless i opened the subject up to them.

maybe it is because the problems has been piling up, way too high, that my emotions started going haywire again. summer's ought to be good, but sadly, it isn't. i only have 2 weeks to enjoy it, but i simply can't. i'm going paranoid and anxious and everything is kicking in my insides. sometimes i imagine my brain blasting into pieces because of the problems it all took.

but then again, even if my inner positivism is really weak, i started looking for alternatives. and that alternative is equally good, to be honest, but not enough to make them satisfied. i know it'll take a lot of energy (and i mean a lot of it) and patience to propose the alternative to them but i can confidently say that making up the alternative is partly their own fault because of their lack of moral support.

here's the alternative (and i only made it up within the last hour): go to a school far away from home, take up fashion designing, stay on a dorm and escape, i mean, live there alone. it's for the benefit of me, and i know i'll be happy with it. really happy, you don't know how blissful i will be if it became true. it's too dreamy, i know, but i'll talk to them within this week (i only have a little amount of time) if the issue regarding the first school is not settled. i'm serious.

no more funny business this time. oh, how very mature this post is!

[dressedlikedaydreamss]

+ : Pre - Graduation Jumpiness and Anxieties

There's no backing out now. I'm graduating this Thursday.

I mean, I know right? I've been waiting for this day to come since I stepped my foot at I - St. Therese room (now, Grade 7 - Prudence). I've been waiting for this day to happen since I began high school.

You know what? I should sleep right now because it's already past 10 pm and I had to wake up early because we're going to have a General Rehearsal tomorrow for the Baccalaureate Mass and the Graduation Rites. Since only two things in this world calm me down (specifically: surfing the internet and sipping a hot mug of choco-coffee drink), I decided to why not rant about my anxiety that maybe all of the people who had experienced going out of high school also felt this.

There is one thing I noticed to myself: I am extremely moody whenever the classes are going to end. I am really irritable, hot tempered and frank. But maybe it's because I am afraid. All of us were. All of us are anxious of what's outside, what's in beyond our limits, what life has to offer after high school. At the same time, I felt anxiety. I became too jumpy, tired, some times over reactive (not over acting) and at certain points, selfish and jealous. Maybe it's because I am not yet ready to let go. Of all, of my friends, of senior life.

As much as I wanted to grow, I also wanted to freeze the time, straight to the moment when I first led my eyes on my first love, watched him grow and loved every single moment of it. As I watch him taking a bow in every practices, all I could ever think is how he completed me. I wanted to scream "That's my first love!". I can't imagine how we grew apart, how we became happy in our own lives, thinking how much I loved him then.I wanted to feel the same way I felt when I am never sure if what I felt is just plain crush or in the verge of falling in love again, I wanted to feel the pain, because the pain made me stronger and wiser. I mean it. This time, I really mean it. The pain I felt made me much better than I was. I wanted to freeze the time whenever me and my friends are having a really good time or doing absolutely nothing. I wanted to do it all over again, feel silly and awkward again with them, just do something plainly stupid and reckless. I wanted to feel the excitement, the rush, the out of this world feeling whenever I do something out of my league. I wanted to feel the shining moments: the first time I saw my poems and essays crisp, printed and in actual magazine, the moment I first marched with my fellow MV Officers at the Audi-Gym for the Entrance of Colours, the pride I felt whenever someone is side-stepping in front of me as a sign of respect for higher officers, the recognitions I received for the essays I wrote (though not as much, but I am still proud), and many more that I can never forget.

It's impossible, saying goodbye to these memories. These memories, all of these happened in a span of four years in high school. How could I ever forget the very first time? Those times that all I ever wanted is to fit in ... ending at the same feeling. How could I ever fit in in this world? At college?

But why am I trying so hard to fit in, when I am born to stand out? (Hehehe, stealing quotes from What A Girl Wants really is a smooth move, Yhen.)

It's not goodbye after all.