#living life on the edge of Potentially Ruining Everything for 3+ years straight has done some Things to my brain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tyrustrash · 5 years ago

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Huge Updates

Hey, all! As you know, the world is in a certain state right now causing us to change our daily lives. One change for me is that I now have more time and motivation to write. Also, I published a book on Amazon!! It is a collection of short stories, some of which you have seen but with some changes (For obvious reasons) The link is this: Orientation https://www.amazon.com/dp/B085RRGQ2N/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_919HEbGVEBPPR Also, I am in the process of writing three more books!!!! Which is what I wanted to share with you. The chapters below will be the first two chapters of my young adult novel. The story is about two guys from seemingly different paths meet each other and bond over their shared pain. Theo is a member of a band that is trying to get signed to an agency, while Lucky is his college's best soccer player trying to get his team to nationals. They begin a secret relationship as they uncover more about themselves and their dark pasts. Some more info about the book: the couple is white-latino/asain, contains some sexual content, eating disorders, self-harm, and more. The other novels in development are as followed: 1. A story following a group of guys on a reality competition show competing to be members of a new boy band. 2. A group of teenagers gaining special powers and forming a team to save their town, and the world, from danger. (Has potential to be a series) 3. The other book I mentioned is another collection of never before seen short stories. I hope y'all enjoy the preview of my first novel! Chapter 1: Lo Mejor Comienza The crowd cheered their lungs out as they hyped up their favorite band, Going After You. The sold-out stadium held 40,000 of their fans holding every bit of merchandise the group had. There were a few fortunate fans that struggled their way onto the stage to get ahold of a member, but security managed to drag them away. However, one fan was able to grab the edge of Lucas' shirt and pull off a piece as she was being dragged off. Lucas didn't mind it though, he took it as a sign that he was their favorite, which he had that thought for all the fans. The members of the band looked out into the crowd and smiled as they continued their set. Lucas made sure to make his perfectly white teeth reflect the stage lights into the audience as he gave his perfect smile while he sang. His posture gave off high-end clothing store mannequin vibes: same old them as the rest, but somehow seen as better since where it came from. Gabe banged the drums while giving his rounds of pterodactyl screeching in between beats. The sweat coming from his head flew across the stage because of his hair flinging around caused by his head banging. Blake played his guitar with his swift fingers as he harmonized with Lucas. He had this chill aura around him that seemed to say that he was going with the flow. Lastly, Theo focused his attention on his keyboard. Unlike his bandmates, Theo chose to maintain his attention on his instrument. Not because he didn't appreciate his fans, all the hours spent writing letters and sending autographs said otherwise. He found it hard to multitask since he would get caught up in one thing and ignore the other. At one point in the concert he attempted to nod and smile to the fans, but he got off-key and played the wrong notes. Other than that one mishap, that night had gone well. The band stayed after for three hours to do the meet and greet with the fans. Although their entire bodies were hurting like hell, the pain was worth it if it meant making their fans happy. Everything was running smoothly. Fans stood in a straight line, which was harder than it seemed given they would let their excitement control them and try to form a tsunami, then they would get a picture with the group. So on and so on. This whole cycle repeated itself, concert and after show activities, for three weeks, with another six to go, they never wanted it to end. It was what they always dreamt about. All the hard work, all the nights without sleep, all the tears shed due to the stress-induced anxiety. All of it was finally worth it. However, sometimes it seemed liked hell on Earth. The pain and scars on their hands from their instruments. The times where they lost their voice from singing for up to eight hours a day. The visits to the hospital for when fans get too wild and would manage to make contact with a member. It was challenging in the beginning to form a balance, but it eventually happened. They wanted stardom to continue. They wanted to win a Grammy, star in their own movie, and go down as one of the greatest bands in musical history. Aside from those generic goals, each member had their own goal. Lucas wanted to be a model in New York Fashion Week. Gabe wanted to be the new owner of Playboy magazine. Blake wanted to start a non-profit organization. Theo wanted the loud banging would end. The loud banging. Theo rapidly blinked his eyes and looked around, suddenly snapping out of his daydream. He felt the cold water of the shower over his body. He wiped some of the water off of his face, also while taking a deep breath. He was at a loss of words, mainly because there was nothing for him to say at this point. "Two and a half hours." Lucas softly yelled, but in a nice way, from the other side of the door. "Hurry up. Some of us need our beauty shower." Although his time in the shower always took at least two hours, which all the others knew at that point, it felt like ten minutes. He always tried to shorten his time, but he never got around to fixing it. He never got around to fixing himself. "That's not a real thing." Theo heard Blake make the comment. "Oh shut up" Lucas said as his voice faded off, presumably going off to get his bathing kit from his room. Theo looked down and realized that there were still bits of thrown up food on the floor of the shower. It was rare that he would go off into his imagination after his habit. His shower routine typically consisted of beginning contemplating life, then spend most of his time dreaming, and end with him panic purging while rushing to get done. But lately he has been under a lot of stress. He finished up cleaning and turned the shower off. He placed an extra towel on the floor, per the request of Lucas, so that water didn't get all over the floor. As he dried himself off, he wiped off some steam that was on the mirror. The way he looked at his reflection, it was like seeing someone he didn't know. It was like there was something missing, something wrong. He looked around the room and his eyes fixated on random objects. Blake's razor that he always left out. A pair of Gabe's underwear, something that the boy always forgot to take to his room once he finished showering. Judging by the pair it seemed like it had been there for two days. His eyes locked on the can of air freshener sitting on top of the toilet. He felt short of breath seeing the tiny droplet of blood on the bottom of the can. He picked it up and turned it. Feeling the aluminum on his hands made his breathing stagger, it made his lip quiver. He inhaled sharply as his hands gripped the can tighter. Bringing the can closer to his body, a tear rolled down his cheek. Before he could do anything else, Lucas shouting stopped him, for now. "I need to get in now if I plan on getting enough sleep tonight." "I'm almost done." Theo said monotonal. He wished he meant it, but it's only the beginning. Gripping the can, causing his hands to fade into red, he turned his attention to the door. What was on the other side could have helped him, but it was no use. He was of no use. Not wanting to do anything else, he came back to his normal state of mind and brushed his hair with the brush that he has had since he was eight. He checked his phone for any notifications, but there was nothing. He frowned thinking he ruined everything. He put on his night hoodie and shorts then exited into the hall. Upon entering the hallway, he took note of Lucas and Blake arguing over some skincare routine. Lucas swore he needed to spend at least an hour on his routine for it to work, however, Blake counterattacked that he shouldn't be rushing Theo since he would spend as much time in the bathroom. Lucas grabbed his suitcase-sized bag of products and carried it into the bathroom. Theo grew worried that he was the one who had caused their argument, then wished he had used the can. Blake sighed as he plopped down on the couch. He turned on the TV and Pitch Perfect was playing. He turned up the volume but made sure it wasn't loud enough to wake up Gabe who was already asleep. They had their TV set to just music-themed programs, thanks to Gabe's technological skill. Last night they watched the first season of Glee. They wanted to watch every known music-related thing so they could take inspiration and help with their band. Their band. Although they had only been active for a year, they managed to gain a steady following and regular gigs at some small clubs that would allow a group of high schoolers to perform. Going After You was named after them chasing their dream to be the next big thing, which didn't make sense to some people but it was the group's style. However, they have yet to make any real progress in the real world. Maybe it had to do with them constantly changing their music style, but whatever it was, they needed to buckle down. Theo walked to the kitchen and poured himself a big glass of milk, with a bendy straw to go through the lid. He contemplated for a bit before he made the cup, but he needed something to ease his stomach. He made his way over to the couch and sat next to Blake. "Just like my showers, you should be used to Lucas' skin routine." Theo said as he brought his legs up to sit crisscrossed. Blake chuckled as he took a bite of the sandwich he had made earlier. "I know, but it still gets annoying. Mainly because he thinks it'll actually work. He's been doing that shit for a year now and it hasn't done a damn thing." Theo laughed a little, nearly causing him to snort out milk. "Come on, you're supposed to be the nice one of us." "Can't be the nice one when Lucas has been keeping me awake for the past two hours because he needed someone to complain to about not being able to get into the bathroom." "Sorry." Theo said with a soft voice. "Don't worry about it, I had some fun messing with him. It's so fun freaking him out." Theo gave out a soft laugh before Blake straightened himself a little. His face became a mixture of concern and stern, making Theo tense up and scoot away from him. "So, you know you're supposed to be last in the bathroom order." Theo looked down at his cup. He tried not frowning, but kept his feelings to himself, like always. "It was just that I had dinner before you guys." "What does that have to do with anything?" Before Theo could answer, Gabe walked in from his room, in only his underwear. He scratched his lower back as he made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and drank some milk straight from the jug. Blake let out a heavy groan, but Gabe didn't care. After that, Gabe grabbed a beer and went to sit in the recliner. Gabe was the one that didn't care about how he looked, he always had high confidence in himself that he didn't care what others thought about him. One time he went to school in a skintight spandex suit that outlined some of his more prominent features, resulting in him having to be sent home to change. Another time he went streaking across the neighborhood. He even managed to outrun the cops that were called. As he sipped his beer, Gabe adjusted his crotch which caused Blake to make a face of disgust. "Bro, I'm trying to eat." "Don't act like you've never adjusted yourself." Gabe replied while keeping his focus on the TV. He took another sip. "We're all guys, we've all done it." "But at least I have the decency to not do that while someone's eating." As the two discussed crotch touching and other typical guy things that Theo never understood or cared enough to learn more about, Theo stared blankly ahead, focusing on nothing. The world around him started fading and his surroundings transitioned into a new setting as he went back into his dreamworld for the eighth time that day. This time he imagined them all performing at his future wedding. He was marrying the person people expected him to marry, but he was sharing the moment with his closest friends, nothing could ruin it. Well, one thing. The person he imagined he was marrying. It was the wrong person. Wrong for him, but right for his parents. As he played his keyboard, he used his peripheral vision and he saw his parents sitting in the front while cheering his name. Their cheers grew louder and louder. Every time they said his name, he found it harder to concentrate. The loudness became unbearable to the point it snapped him back to reality, where he found where he heard his name being shouted. Theo sat between his two friends as they were both looking at him. Gabe patted Theo's shoulder as he leaned closer. "So, which is it?" "Which is what?" Theo asked as he became confused. He looked at the hand on his shoulder and started to build up panic. Blake let out a sigh as he tossed his paper plate in the trash can next to the couch. "The theme for our gig tomorrow night. I wanted to go for more modern and pop-ish since it would fit the crowd, but Gabe wants full out punk and rock and roll." "I thought y'all were talking about crotches." Theo remarked as he stirred the straw in his cup, seemingly easing himself. He scrunched his face thinking about his friends talk about touching themselves. "We were." Said Gabe. He finished his beer and tossed it towards the trash can, but missed. Blake picked it up and threw it away. "But it turned into trying to finalize what we're doing tomorrow." "I don't care. Just decide. It's just a soccer game that we're performing at. I mean, who even does that? And a college game too." Gabe chuckled as he patted Theo's back. "It's a paid gig, and it's exposure. "You say that every time." Blake told him. "Well, it is. And it would be one of the biggest crowds we've performed at. Anyone could be watching, like an agent, or scouts for a reality show." "You also say that every time." "Man, what's your deal? You don't seem like you care." "I care. It's just that if we keep changing our style for each performance, then it'll be harder to get signed to a label." "It's called having range. It shows we can do any genre." Gabe turned back to Theo. "So, what style? "Pop, I guess. We've done that the most and it seems to be a crowd pleaser every time." Theo said after thinking for a second. Like Gabe, he was just as eager to get signed. But like Blake, he had the mindset of sticking to one style until they get signed. Another moment in their band career that seemed to be one of the most challenging things. Before Theo could get up and go to his room, he noticed the marks on Gabe. There were kiss marks made from pink lipstick covering the area above Gabe's boxers. He pointed at them, resulting in the other two to look. "What's that?" Gabe laughed. "Come on, man. I know you haven't been with a girl, but I'm sure you know what this is and where it came from." "Is she here now?" Blake asked as he stood up. His face getting redder than a teacher's mark on a test when they give someone an "F". "I mean, obviously. I came out of my room when we finished. Fucking my girlfriend really makes me thirsty." "Bro, you know what the lease says. No overnight guests." "What they don't know won't hurt them." "Hold up, how long has she been here? When did you bring her?" "About four hours ago. We've been at it that long, a new record. Had to miss dinner, but don't worry, I ate alright." Theo shook his head. "Wait, she's been here for a while? Usually you two make as much noise as possible." "Wanted to try it out to see if we could, now we know we can do it even while y'all are asleep. But it was hard getting it one while having to hear y'all argue over some damn skincare routine, but perhaps the arguing helped cover it up a little." "No no no." Blake interjected, completely ignoring the second part. "She is not allowed overnight." "Come on. It's not that serious. She has stayed over countless times before and no one noticed." "What! Do you know how much trouble we'll be in if we're caught? We could be evicted!" "Calm thyself. We haven't been caught yet, and we won't. As long as you don't snitch. Besides, don't act like you've never broken that rule." Blake fell silent for a quick second. He blinked rapidly before speaking with a slightly higher-pitched voice. "I don't know what you're talking about." "Melissa. I know she has stayed over before after one of your escapades." "That was different." "How?" "It was accidental. We went to sleep immediately afterwards and forgot." "Yeah right." "Theo, you have anything to say right now?" Blake asked as a way of changing the subject, but no response. He and Gabe looked back and saw Theo standing at the side of the couch staring blankly at the wall. "THEO!" Theo blinked rapidly and gazed his attention to the two of them. "What now?" "Nothing." Blake sighed. "Just go to bed now. You really need the sleep." Before anyone could do anything else, the bathroom door opened and Lucas stepped out. His face was covered with one of his face masks. "Can y'all stop arguing, please. The yelling isn't good for my skin." "The hell." Gabe said. "How is us yelling upsetting your skin?" "I'll have you know that people yelling makes me stress, and stress can cause breakouts. I can't have any of that, especially at tomorrow's gig. In fact, I can't have that ever. I have to stay looking flawless." Before Lucas could continue with his routine, he turned to Blake. "Before you freak out again and we have a repeat of tonight, I've also broken that rule. Better get your rage out now and soon. Can't have too much more yelling." Blake couldn't say anything to him since he quickly slammed the door. With a final huff for the night he went to his room. Gabe smirked. "It's adorable when he loses." "Maybe." Theo said. He went to the kitchen and rinsed out his cup. While he was there, he began doing everyone's dishes, not because they had a rotation, but because he wanted to. "Sometimes it's hard dealing with an argument over the smallest things." "But sometimes it's fun. Right?" Theo smiled a little. "Yeah. Can be." "That's the spirit!" Gabe grabbed two more beers from the fridge and before he headed to his room, he went beside Theo. He placed a hand on his shoulder, causing Theo to become worried. "Hey, you'll find a girl someday, just keep looking. And I'll make sure to not tell Blake if you bring her over and you want her to stay over." "Thanks." The faintness of Theo's voice was barely audible. He didn't even look at Gabe, only keeping his head down. Gabe went into his room, leaving Theo alone. He looked around and took in his surroundings. Just a plain and small apartment the group found a few months ago. They saved up from all their gigs for nearly a year to be able to afford it. It wasn't anything to brag about, but it was better than what he had before. His family, his neighbors, everything about his old life, it was too much. He wanted to leave it all, and he did. Or so he thought. After pushing back any memories from his past he wanted to forget, and also finishing washing the dishes, he made his way to his room. Along the way he heard moaning coming from Gabe's room. Before he could enter his own room, Lucas stepped out of the bathroom, bare naked except for some scrub covering most of his body. Theo attempted not to look, but failed since Lucas always made a presence when he entered a room. "Ayo, Theo." He said, his hand on his hip, hip sticking out. "Don't worry about what Gabe said. You know how he is." Theo could barely form a sentence. "How do you know what he said?" "Dude, the apartment is smaller than Gabe's brain. You can hear everything." They laughed. Theo turned the handle of his door. "Nice to see you taking time out of your routine to console me." Lucas shrugged. "No biggie. Besides, I had to let my body scrub settle." "I can see." He thought for a second. "Well, I don't want to see. I've always questioned what you did in there for so long, maybe I didn't have to know." "Well, know you do. Now, what do you do in the shower that takes two hours?" Theo's eyes slightly widened. He felt short of breath but pulled together a response. "You'll never know." He said in a quick and sassy tone. Lucas nodded at Theo before he went back inside the bathroom. Theo opened his bedroom door and went in. He slammed the door and leaned back on it. He exhaled heavily. After standing for a minute, he made his way to his bed. It helped clear his mind by looking around his room and seeing all his favorites things. His room was decorated with posters of his favorite musicians, including various Kpop groups, mainly Got7, Kard, Twice, CLC, Day6, and Girls' Generation, and posters of American artists like Ariana Grande and boy band In Real Life. He had lots of stuffed animals scattered around the room. There was a box of snacks beside his bed that held snacks that he saved up for weeks. He sat on his bed the main dating app on his phone. He opened the chat he had started with someone he has been talking to for the past few weeks. Still no new response. He plugged his phone onto its charger and placed it on the windowsill next to him. He pulled out and opened his laptop and pulled up his search engine. He began researching the college they would be performing at. Although it was in their town, he somehow knew nothing about it other than that it valued sports over academics, like most American schools. He mainly focused on the soccer team. He found articles talking about how the team has had a mixed season so far and was unsure if they'll qualify for nationals. Searching further, he found profiles for each member. He spent the next hour reading about what each person was like personality wise and about their skill level. All of them seemed impressive on paper, but somehow weren't on the field at times. They had never qualified for Nationals, which made them the only team at their university not to do so. Statistics show that this season was their best, which wasn't saying much since it was like a toss of a coin if they won a game or not. During his time reading, one player in particular caught his attention. Lucky Moon. Not just because of his name, but his other attributes, he stood out. He made the most goals this season, given that he was the striker. Off the field, he helped volunteer by tutoring other students and being an assistant coach for a little league team. He seemed like the model student, the perfect person. Theo smiled reading more about him. Delving deeper, Theo learned that the college actually did halftime shows for all the sporting events. One time they had an aerial acrobatics group perform at a volleyball match. Although it seemed weird for a college to go all out for a sporting event, it could pay off for their band in the end. Hopefully. Shutting down for the night, he put up his computer and covered himself with his favorite blanket, the one he had since he was a child. He laid his head down on his green monkey pillow as he thought about tomorrow. How it could be the best day of the group's career. All the possibilities that could come from it. The best began tomorrow. Chapter 2: Stop the Rain The mixture of rain and sweat covered Lucky's face as he ran across the field. He didn't bother wiping it off, it made him stronger, it built up endurance. The grass was harder to run across because he hasn't been cleaning his shoes properly and almost had moments where he almost slipped. There was only one set of lights on, somewhat keeping him warm. He kept on running, while also kicking the ball, for what seemed like forever. He had just reached the halfway point. Every so often he would tighten his fists, which kept him awake. It was two in the morning. He had hardly gotten sleep the night before, and the night before that, and basically every night for the past week. Soccer cleared his mind, made all the stress go away. Not only was this time in the early mornings useful for extra practice, it was his time to think and relax. His schedule was filled with classes and practice that he doesn't get a break. Whenever he was in his dorm, his roommate made too much noise with his gaming stuff and the occasional party. Lucky started getting up early to get some alone time on the field before he went back to his dorm to get a little more rest before his seven o'clock class. It wasn't the healthiest schedule experts might say, but it worked, it helped him stay stable, physically and emotionally. Something that he always needed work on. He shook his head thinking about his wounds, he needed to focus. Focus on his future, his grades, his happiness, but most importantly the ball he was kicking. He finally reached near the goal to shoot. With a hard kick, the ball leaped off the ground and swerved to the back of the net, nearly tearing it. He slightly nodded and gathered the ball. He made his way to the nearest bench, which held a towel and his water bottle. He sat down and wiped his face with the towel, which was about useless since the rain had gotten it damp. What it did was absorb what it could, but his face had streaks of liquid. In the end, he didn't know why he did anything with the towel other than it was muscle memory, the rain would just get his face wetter. He took several chugs from his bottle, the water moisturizing his dry throat. Picking up his bag, he placed the bottle in the side pouch and the ball in the back. While he was standing to leave, he saw a figure walking towards him. Upon closer examination, it was Coach Jupiter. She carried an umbrella and was dressed in her coaching attire. Coach Jupiter held out the umbrella to Lucky, but he remained in his spot next to the bench. She slightly nodded and got as close to him without making him feel uncomfortable. "What're you doing out here at this time of day?" Lucky shrugged his shoulders. When he opened his mouth his words came out bold, yet calm. "Extra practice." "It's not good to practice out in the rain." She came closer to him to try getting him under the umbrella, but he stepped back. "It helps build stamina." He said with even more boldness, but with a kind inflection. He didn't know if it was true, he thought it sounded like she would believe him. "Also helps with feet work." "Need someone to practice with?" "I was just leaving." "Too bad. I thought since you were here at this hour you were committed to the team." "I am!" Lucky shouted. Upon realizing that he raised his voice, he lowered his head in shame. "Sorry." "No need to apologize. Besides, how did you even get on the field?" Lucky kept his head down, feeling ashamed at what he did. "I picked the lock on the gate. But I always make sure to lock it back up when I leave." "Always?" She said while raising an eyebrow. Lucky realized what he said and step back a little while scratching his leg with his foot. "You've done this before? When? How long?" "Every day for the past two weeks." His voice was weaker than before. He sat down on the bench, resting his head in his hands. He began sobbing, his words becoming semi-inaudible. "I'm so sorry. Please don't kick me off the team." Coach Jupiter sat down next to him and held the umbrella over both of them. "Hey, calm down, it's alright. You're not off the team." "Really? Isn't what I did against some kind of rules?" Coach shrugged. "Yeah, most definitely, but I'm not going to report you or do anything." "Thank you." He said with a sigh of relief. However, he raised an eyebrow. "How did you know I was here?" "I got a notice from a bystander saying the lights were on. I came to see what was up." Lucky nodded a little. "I didn't mean any harm." "I know, but," She started saying, causing Lucky to look up and gulp. "If you wanted more time to practice, why didn't you contact me and set up an extra schedule? I would've worked with you. That's what I'm here for." Lucky stayed silent for a minute. Coach looked at him with her wide eyes, trying to figure him out based on his body language. He was hunched over, feet shaking, his right hand was brushing through his hair, and he still had a few tears coming out. "It's okay." She said. "Take your time." Lucky took a deep breath. Thoughts ran through his head and he didn't know what to say. He could tell the truth, which was more than likely a bad idea. Or he could say what she more than likely wanted to hear. Whatever he said, he made sure to make it seem better what was the truth. "I just wanted to practice some more. I know nationals means a lot to the team, and to you since it'll be your first one as a coach, and I felt like since the others look up to me, I needed to be better so we can win some more and qualify. I didn't ask for your help because I wanted to improve on my own. To show that I have the discipline and dedication." All Coach could do was nod and pat Lucky's shoulder, which seemed to calm him down. "Lucky, you are an amazing player, perhaps the best one on the team." "And I want to be better." He interjected. "I want us to go to nationals. I want to see that trophy in our case." Coach Jupiter let out a soothing sigh. "And we will, one day. Maybe this year, or maybe next year, but we will win it. But we won't if we're not in our best condition. Next time you want extra practice, talk to me and we can work out a healthier and somewhat better schedule. How does that sound?" Lucky looked her in her eyes. He couldn't form any kind of facial expression. But Coach made a face though. She seemed like she cared. He was happy to have someone in his life that seemed like they cared about him, someone who wanted to spend time with him, but he shook his head. "Thanks, but I'll see about it." He told her as he stood and put on his bag. "Let's see how we do at this next game." Coach stood up. She gave him another pat on the shoulder before she walked off, leaving him standing in the rain. Lucky looked up at the sky. A few drops of rain hit his eyes, causing him to blink rapidly. As he started walking to his dorm, he wiped some rain away, kicked some grass, and sighed heavily. He managed to get to the door and lock it back up, making it seem no one was ever there. As he walked away, the single set of lights that was on started flickering, then went dark. Lucky entered his dorm building and pushed the button for the elevator. He rested his hand on his hip as he waited. The elevator always took forever, even though there were only five floors. He didn't mind waiting, especially after practicing. It gave him a little time to cool off. The elevator dinged. The doors opened and there was only one person getting out. "Sup, Lucky!" The guy said as he went into a bro hug. Lucky accepted the hug. Although he wasn't too close to him, they did have some sort of friendship through Lucky's tutoring sessions. The guy left and Lucky took his spot in the elevator. He pushed the button for the fifth floor and watched the door close. The elevator always felt like it was going slower than a snail. He thought since they were paying a ridiculous amount for housing, the service would be good quality. The long time, the interior falling about, and the constant smell of sewage, and all that was just for the elevator. The rooms were worse. Upon coming onto his floor, he looked around at all the decorations. Each floor had a different theme, and his theme was the ocean. Cut-outs of different ocean animals covered the wall, along with streamers of different shades of blue. A pinboard hanging on the wall next to the elevator held mini questionnaires filled out by the residents of the floor. One of the questions was if they were a sea creature, which would they be. Lucky answered dolphin, because they are sleek, fast, and that people often make assumptions about them and have no reason to worry. He reached his assigned room at the end of the hall. He looked at his name tag, which was a dolphin, which he thought was a coincidence. He tapped the head of the dolphin before entering, a ritual he had since he started college. Touching his name tag before he entered his room. The first thing he saw was one of his roommates, Matt, asleep on the couch. Lucky grabbed a blanket form the rack in the corner and covered him up. Matt let out a weird groaning noise and turned but stayed asleep. When Lucky went to open his bedroom door, it was locked. "I'm busy!" His main roommate, Spada, yelled from the room. "Come back in a few minutes!" Before walking off, Lucky could hear the noise of a bed squeaking. Grunting, he went to the little kitchen area. Every time he really needed to get some rest, Spada pulled some shit like that. Every time he was gone for longer than thirty minutes Spada had her over. But he never had the strength to say anything. Opening the fridge, his face remained emotionless at the sight of a basically empty fridge. At that point, he was just over his roommates not keeping up with the one simple task of grocery shopping. The only thing edible he could see was some milk, a few slices of leftover pizza, and a half empty ketchup bottle. He grabbed a slice of pizza and poured him a glass of milk. As he chewed, he pulled out his phone and opened a dating app and went to the message section. There was only one person who had a conversation. Lucky smiled for the first time that day. He thought he might've met someone but didn't know if it would work out. He didn't know what to respond with. He hadn't replied for at least five hours. The right words had yet to come, even though the other person's message was really simple. It asked what he was like when he was younger. They had been getting to know each other better, but he has been picky about what he shared, especially life before college. He didn't want to change the subject since it seemed rude, but he also didn't want to make them mad by lying. He began typing a sentence but stopped when he heard his bedroom door open. Spada's girlfriend lurked out of the dorm, waving to him as she exited. Spada came out next, only in his boxer briefs. He went to the fridge and sipped some of the milk straight from the jug. "Can you please use a glass?" Lucky said as he took another bite of the pizza. Spada placed the milk back in the fridge. He maneuvered his way around the tiny kitchen space and leaned up against the counter next to Lucky. "You already have some." "Besides the point. Others might want some later and they more than likely don't want your germs. Besides, I know where your mouth has been." Before Spada could respond, he finally got a sniff of Lucky and nearly gagged. "Dude, you stink." Lucky sniffed his own armpit and shrugged. He has grown accustomed to his stench that he built up an immunity to it. It took him really trying to sniff to catch it. "Yeah, I do. It's called sweating. It's what comes when one is physically active." "I'm physically active." "Sex and parties don't count." "Hey, don't diss those. I be sweating pretty hard while doing so." Spada crossed his arms. "You need to shower. I don't want to be smelling that the rest of the night." Lucky turned to him and scolded him. "I was going to when I got here, but you were busy." Spada stood straight up in a defensive manner. "You know the rule we set up at the beginning of the year. If one of us has company over, we shall give them privacy." "But I didn't think it would include the middle of the night." "There weren't any time restrictions when we made the deal." "Whatever." Lucky sighed as he made his way to the bedroom. Before he took off to the shower, he looked back at Spada, who was shaking his head. "You know," Spada started saying. "I wouldn't mind waiting out here for whatever amount of time you needed. That's if you ever bring a girl over." With that, Lucky slammed the door. There were times he despised Spada. Times where just his presence caused annoyance. He had the typically rich daddy's boy vibe, but lacked the rich daddy. Whined whenever he didn't get his way, bitch until he does, just plain punchable. On the other hand, there were times Spada was kind of tolerable. The times where they got drunk together were nice and good bonding moments, but those were rare sense Lucky didn't want to risk showing up to class or practice with a hangover. Spada once invited him to a threeway with his girlfriend on the terms that they wouldn't do anything with each other, but he declined out of respect. One time they to the arcade and made a mountain with all the tickets they had earned, then destroying it by jumping into it and rolling around. Putting all those thoughts behind him, Lucky went straight to the bathroom and locked the door. He stood in front of the mirror and stood straight into his eyes. He began that state of being where everything around him became too real and where he started contemplating life. What life was, what he was doing there, and what will happen if he dies. Or in his case what would've happened if he had died. Or what things would be like if he was never born. Shaking his head rapidly, he got out of those thoughts. He turned on the shower and waited for it to get hot. In the meantime, he took off his clothes and placed them neatly in the corner. Remaining in only his black briefs, he went back to staring at himself in the mirror. This time he stared at his body. At the wounds he had. The cuts across his six-pack. The bruises on his sides. The everlasting burn wound on the upper part of his arm. As he ran his fingers over it all, he tried staying strong. He kept reassuring himself that it'll all be over soon. He wanted to continue looking, but the mirror fogging up stopped him. He took off his underwear and stepped into the shower. The hot water hit him sharply, giving him the best feeling he has had for the day. He simply stood in the middle of the shower and let the water go all over him. It took him a good minute or two to begin. He poured some of his Axe body wash on his hands and started rubbing his body. He took it easy around his wounds since they were sensitive. He used the green apple shampoo his sister got him, only because he was out of his regular kind. He let his hand slip down his body until he reached his v-line. He tapped his fingers across it, enjoying the tingling sensation that slowed throughout his body. He let out a soft moan as he reached lower. He grasped his crotch and let out a louder moan. His head flung back and his eyes closed. Just the feeling could've made him finish since it had been forever since he had felt some sort of pleasure. He started moving his hand, the shampoo helped made a smooth rhythm. He used his other hand to rub his chest. His hands became synchronized in motion resulting in a higher amount of pleasure. All the feelings going through his body sped up his hands and he couldn't stop. It felt like electricity going through his veins, lighting was about to be next. Just as he was about to release, there was a loud bang on the door. It startled him so much that his hand sharply gripped over himself and he released over the front of the shower. His knees felt like jelly and he had to hold onto the rail so he wouldn't fall to the ground. "Hurry up, bro!" Spada said. Lucky took a moment to catch his breath. "I can't fall asleep with the shower running." Lucky groaned as he cleaned up, again, and turned the shower off. He stepped out, dried off, and wrapped the towel around his waist. He wiped off some of the steam on the mirror and brushed his hair. In the corner, he saw some of his residue on the corner of the tub. He took the edge of the towel and wiped it up so that Spada wouldn't complain. Finally finished, he grabbed his dirty clothes and walked into the bedroom and over to his dresser. He took off his towel and tossed it and the clothes into the basket. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a pair of light blue briefs. After he put them on, Spada turned on his bed and faced the ceiling. "Sorry about earlier." Lucky went to his bed and got under the covers. He took note of Spada's weird change in attitude, which wasn't uncommon. He adjusted himself and his pillows before responding. "About what?" "About saying if you ever bring a girl over." Spada let out a sigh. "I didn't mean to come off snarky." "It's fine." No it wasn't, but it wasn't the time. "Don't worry about it." "My thing is," He started, resulting in a soft groan from Lucky. "You're so attractive, no homo, you can get any girl you want. You're the star soccer player, a people helper, and you're Asian, girls love ethnic guys now." "Don't say that!" Lucky slightly yelled. He hated it when people brought up his race, not because he was ashamed, but because he thought it was never needed to be brought up. "I thought you were tired? Why don't you get some sleep, maybe it'll help your brain." "Hey, don't get upset at me for stating facts." "Well I don't want to hear your so-called facts." "Well, what do you want to hear?" "You sleeping." Spada chuckled. "Man, I can help you." "I don't need your help." Lucky turned to face the wall. "What's your type? Blonde, brunette, redhead? Maybe another ethnic person." Lucky became furious. He grabbed a bottle of water from under his bed and threw it at Spada. "Stop saying that! As I said before, I don't want or need your help. Stay out of my personal life and leave me the fuck alone!" Without saying anything, Spada made a face of confusion with a mix of anger. He tried throwing the bottle back, but it failed to reach halfway across the room. He huffed and turned to face the wall. Lucky wept silent tears. He pulled out his phone and went back to the message conversation. He scrolled through the entire thread, wanting to relive one of the happy parts his life had. From where they talked about school, hobbies, and dreams for the future. Although he had a gist of what he wanted for his dream, all he could think about was making a new dream reality. After a long time of thinking, he finally decided what to say. Let's talk, in person, after my soccer game. I know a place we could go and be alone. With a simple click of a button, his life changed. Whether it was for good or bad, that was debatable. What wasn't was his feelings. Feelings for soccer, feelings for freedom, and feelings for the one person that could truly care about him. A ding. Lucky looked back at his phone and formed a small smile at the message notification. He smiled more when he read it. I'll be there.

#gay #lgbt #bisexual #debut novel #books #gay books #fanfiction

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watchmegetobsessed · 6 years ago

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Shawn Mendes // Boundaries Part 10

hope yall spending christmas with eating and sleeping, and got everythig you wanted! here is part tennn, enjoy!

ALSO IT CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT TOO!!!!!!

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

As I imagine, this is what Death entering a room would feel like. Sucking everything lively and happy from around, sending chills down your spine, bringing all your fears to you in just one second making you wish you never woke up this morning.

As I stand at the window staring at my reflection I feel Knox’s hand gently touch my waist and I want to shake it off, but I can’t. I’m frozen.

He gently, but quite firmly turned me around and I finally faced him. My stomach became one big knot as my eyes bet those icy blue ones that I wished to never see again. He looked just the same, dark eyebrows, hard cheekbones and a pretty manly beard with combed back hair, his usual style topped with a suit that probably cost thousands of dollars but it’s just a few pennies for him.

A distorted smile appears on his lips as his eyes travel down my body and I already feel disgusted even though nothing has happened.

“You know, I’ve been watching you all night, I was waiting for your client to leave you so we could talk,” he starts with a very secretive tone and I’m trying my best not to look at him. I want to tell him Shawn is not a client, but I choose not to. “How have you been?”

“What do you want?” I manage to speak up, my voice coming out weaker than I wanted it to be.

“Why so fussy? Just wanted to catch up with my girl.”

“I’m not your girl,” I hiss at him. “And get your hand off of me,” I finally say. I think I surprise him for a moment, but he quickly regains his confidence. His hand falls off of my waist and I can’t help, but stare at the ring on his finger. The fucker is still happily married.

“You know, I don’t like the way things ended between us. I feel like… we could do so much better.”

I see the shining in his eyes and two years ago I would have already been falling into his arms with jelly knees, but not today. I’m not who I was when he made a total fool out of me and I’m just hoping I’ve became strong enough to keep my walls up.

“There is no we. Never was.”

“Judging from the way you screamed my name when we went to Atlanta there was.” His cocky smile disgusts me and the thought he just brought to me makes me want to vomit. I don’t say anything so I don’t throw up, but this gives him the chance to continue talking.

“I know you think I’m the Devil, but we both know this is not true. You’re just… angry at yourself, I don’t blame you. Things could have went better. But maybe we could meet sometime, when you are done with this boy and ready to be with the man of your dreams.”

He has no idea what he is talking about. His little ways don’t get to me anymore, this sweet-talk doesn’t make me fall on my knees and beg for his attention. I now know what it is like when someone treats you as a partner and loves you without condition. And Shawn is the person who taught this to me.

“That boy made me feel like a woman while you just treated me like a dumb doll, making me feel like what we were doing was right. But it wasn’t and you are still a sick bastard. You shouldn’t even come near me, Joshua made it clear to you that our business is over. I’m not interested in your little games anymore, I actually know what I worth now.”

I keep eye-contact for as long as I can, using everything in me to stand as powerful as possible in front of him. I watch as a small smile creeps its way to his lips.

“You slept with him, didn’t you?”

He doesn’t seem angry or worried, it looks like the situation entertains him and it’s making me shiver. My lack of answer tells it all for him as he lets out a delightful chuckle, throwing me towards the edge.

“You think you found the love of your life, right? Oh, poor naïve girl. I see sex still means everything to you and this boy was lucky enough to get a taste of it and you are now all worked up on him.” He takes a step closer to me and I suck on my breath when I want to back from him, but I bump to the window. “Nothing can change the fact that you are just a prostitute. People rent you out like a book or movie, use you for their own satisfaction and then throw you away. That boy has no idea what you do and how you live, but I know. I’m the only person who knows everything about you and if you think there is a slight chance of you living in a normal relationship with him… You are more stupid than I thought.”

I’m on the verge of tears as I’m still staring at him and his stomach-turning grin he is looking at me with. It sickens me how such a handsome, successful and potential man can be a rotting pile of shit inside. And the worst part is that he is still not finished. Placing his filthy hand on my upper arm he leans very close to my ears so I can feel his hot breath on my skin. I have to stop myself from scratching myself wherever it hits me.

“I assume he has no idea about the package you come with. You are good at hiding it, but it is there. What do you think the world will think about your little lover if they find out his new girlfriend is involved with drug dealers and extortioners from the worse kind?” I don’t say anything, just press my lips together tightly as I stare at one point on the floor. “Exactly. That would ruin him even if you can use his money to cover every loan you are still paying for. The word will travel fast, Sweetheart. And you can bet I’ll be fast to hop on that wagon and give out all your little dirty secrets.”

He steps back and a tear rolls down my cheek. My hands are shaking and I feel like I’m about to faint any moment. I look up and see Shawn standing in the doorway with two bottled waters in his hands, watching us with his jaw clenched.

I turn back to Knox and seeing the satisfaction in his eyes is my worse fear, but I can’t do anything about it. What he just told is true. If anyone finds out who I am Shawn’s career and maybe life is ruined. I can’t do this to him and I was so stupid letting everything go this far between us.

“I hope your wife finds out soon what a fucker you are,” I spat at him before I manage to finally move my legs and walk away.

The moment he can’t see my face I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and I see Shawn blurrily as he immediately puts the waters down and rushes to me. We collapse in the middle, his arms circle me tightly as I bury my face in his hard chest.

“Who was it? What did he tell you?” he asks frantically, looking for Knox in the crowd, but he can’t see him anymore, he is long gone.

“I want to go back to the hotel,” I mumble into his neck as he is stroking my hair soothingly.

“Okay, let’s go.”

We rush through the groups of people trying to be as invisible as possible, we make it down to the garage and I’m extremely thankful I don’t have to have a shame walk to the car in the ring of paparazzi. I sit as low in the seat as possible, covering my face from the flashes that light through the windows. Shawn slowly drives out of the garage and when we are finally on our way back to the hotel I sit up straight.

“Naya, what happened?” He reaches out and places his hand on my thigh giving it a gentle squeeze and it’s making my heart ache.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I whisper as I stare out of the window, not daring to look at him because I know I would just start crying.

He doesn’t try to get me to talk, we drive back in total silence and it continues like this when we are on our way up to our room. Shawn’s eyes never leave me, examining me with concern all over his face while I feel like I’m totally drained out. I know tonight is the end of it, as much as I hate to admit, Knox opened my eyes and I know I have to end everything by the time the Sun comes up. But Shawn deserves an explanation and closure.

He opens the door for me and walking in I kick my heels off heading to the bed. I sit down to the edge Shawn soon joining me, sitting next to me in silence, just waiting for me to say anything.

“I’m sorry you saw that,” I say, my voice barely coming out more than just a whisper.

“Who was he?” he asks, and for my biggest surprise he doesn’t sound mad, he is just worried for me which makes it even harder for me.

“He was one of my first clients, I worked with him when I was a newbie. He is… a highly manipulative person, he made me fall for him, but he only needed me as a toy, to have someone to play with when he was bored.”

Shawn sits there without a word, giving me the time to collect my thoughts. I slowly turn to him and let him take my hand between his palms. The hot touch of his skin is soothing, but it also makes me feel guilty knowing what I’m about to say.

“I thought I loved him, but he really just wanted to make me weak so he can get me to sleep with him. He made me emotionally attached to him so I was basically on my knees the moment he snapped his fingers. Joshua doesn’t let clients book someone two times in a row, at least a month has to pass, but because Knox made me this wreck and so dependent on him I went back to him on my own. In my own free time.”

“Did he ever hurt you?” he asks and I can sense the tenseness in him immediately.

“Not physically. But he destroyed me from the inside. I was his obeying sex slave until I saw a text thread with his friends. It was the guy from that party… he talked about how he wants to use me until I’m totally lifeless and he was planning on buying me out from Joshua. Though it’s not possible, he doesn’t trade his girls, it got me boiling. I confronted him and somehow got him raging, he admitted to having a wife, which he hid from me the whole time somehow, and he told me I will never be a functional adult ever in my life.”

The tears are dwelling in my eyes again and for a moment I feel like I can’t do it. I just want to curl up in his arms and tell him I want to be with him forever. But then Knox’s words echo in my mind and I sober up.

“Shawn, these past two weeks have been… the best time of my life,” I tell him with a bittersweet smile. “You taught me so much and…” I take a deep breath and just let the words roll down my tongue. “And I love you.”

His eyebrows raise and I see happiness in his hazel eyes.

“I love you too,” he tells me and I feel like I’m about to punch myself in the stomach with what I’m about to say after this.

“But we can’t see each other anymore.”

I watch his face fall and I immediately wish I could take it back, but it’s too late and deep down I know this is the right thing to do. It’s the most painful thing seeing him hurt like this knowing it’s because of me.

“I don’t… I don’t see why… I mean…” he starts shaking his head as he refuses to accept what I just said.

“Shawn, it’s just not possible. With the life that you live and the one that I live… We can’t do this. I can’t do this. I became an escort for a reason and I’m not bringing you into my mess. If anything gets out about my real identity and the stuff that I’ve been linked to… I would never forgive myself for ruining your career.”

“Why do you think you’d ruin my career? It’s not like you killed someone, right?”

“No. But there are other bad things and I would hate the thought of harming you in any way.”

“But you can’t be sure this would happen!” he protests, obviously not knowing anything about my background and where I come from.

“I am sure, Shawn. And don’t try to come up with ideas to save the situation. I know it’s hard, but I can’t let you do this to yourself because of me. It’ll be better if we just… don’t see each other after the agreement is over.”

“But why don’t you want to… to fight? I’m sure we could figure something out, I though this thing meant something to you!”

“It means everything to me!” I choke out as I slide closer and without a second thought I throw a leg over him and sit on his lap hugging his waist with my legs. “It means so much, you mean so much to me. I said that I love you because I do. I meant it. And because I do, I wouldn’t be able to live with the thought of harming you. I’m not going to let you battle my fights, I don’t want to involve you in my dark past. This is why I’m letting you go.”

His eyes shimmer from tears he is probably holding back, his fingers are roaming my back as I slide my hands to the base of his neck. I’m taking notes of everything, how his skin feels on mine, the line of his defined jawline and cheeks, his adorable curls and the way he licks his lips.

I can tell he is battling himself, he wants to protest against me, but he also wants to respect me and my will. I run my finger along his jawline stopping at his lips.

“If this is what you want… I respect it,” he says finally speaking up, but I can hear the endless sadness in his voice and my heart breaks. “But can I ask just one thing?”

“Sure,” I smile at him letting the tears run down my cheeks not caring to hold them back anymore.

“Can we forget about it just for tonight? Just for one more night, please. As a goodbye.”

I immediately nod my head and without hesitation I press my lips to his kissing him hard and passionate.

All barriers fall down and we cross every boundaries as he pushes me down to the bed getting on top of me. My cheeks are wet from my tears, running onto my lips, but he doesn’t seem to care. We kiss like it’s the end of the world, and in a way, it is for us. I tug his shirt off of him as his hands quickly work on my dress and make it disappear in no time. In just a few minutes both of us is naked, tangled in the sheets and in each other. One time it’s me on top, the other it’s him. He litters my face, my neck and my collarbones with open-mouthed kisses, lacing my fingers through his hair I pull his face up to me so I can kiss him.

I manage to get on top of him once more as his erection is pressed to my inner thigh. I rock my hips against him and a satisfied moan slips through his perfectly pink lips. I press my lips to his rosy cheek before leaning closer to his ear.

“I love you. I really do,” I whisper, his large hand covers the back of my neck as he is pulling me down for a kiss.

“I love you too,” he moans into my lips and my heart is racing. I reach down between us, I need to feel him inside me.

I position him to my entrance and our eyes meet right at the moment he slips into me and fills me up perfectly. I gasp at the pleasant feeling as I’m adjusting to him. His hands grab onto my waist and gently starts me moving, but soon I start lifting myself up and dropping down on my own. I sit up throwing my head back, letting a guttural growl out in pleasure, his hands travel up on my body until they find my breasts and squeeze them passionately. I place one hand on his while putting one to his chest and leaning on that arm while I never stop moving.

“You are so beautiful,” he mumbles leaning up and pressing a kiss to my chin before flipping us over.

I immediately wrap my legs around his waist and when I feel him go as deep as possible I scream his name out. He slams into me again and again, hitting that one spot that is making me shiver under his touch, his lips return to my neck sucking on my skin and I’m sure I’ll have a nice hickey in the morning, but I couldn’t care less.

“I love you,” he tells me again and I’m whimpering under him as I’m getting closer and closer to my orgasm with each thrust.

“Shawn, I- Ah…” I’m lost in him, I look into his eyes, I see the sorrow in them and I just want to make him happy again. I would do anything to see him smile again.

Except one thing.

I pull him down for a kiss so I don’t have to look into his eyes and he picks up his pace as we both are close to our climax. My fingers dig into his back, probably leaving marks on his skin, he is moving forcefully and fast, his hair is covering his forehead, some locks stick to his sweaty skin, but he still looks like the man of my dreams. He probably is.

I finally reach the top, moaning his name I throw him over the edge and he releases himself into me as well. With a few more sloppy thrusts our highs die down and he collapses to the bed besides me, pulling me to his chest. My cheek is pressed against his hot skin, I can hear and feel his heart beating crazily.

A few minutes later he pulls the cover over us, our legs are tangled together and I’m playing with his hair at the base of his neck as we are just silently lying in bed facing each other. I can feel my eyelids getting heavier with each passing moment and I’m trying to fight my tiredness wanting to spend as much time with Shawn as possible, but I just can’t help.

“Sleep, baby. I’ll be here in the morning. I promise,” he whispers pressing a soft kiss to my forehead as I close my eyes.

“I love you,” I mumble under my breath, but I’m already drifting off to sleep. I feel his fingers touching my cheeks and I’m almost dozed out when I hear his reply.

“I will always love you.” His voice echoes in my mind as I finally fall asleep in his arms.

#shawn #shawn mendes #mendes #shawn mendes imagines #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #mendes army #shawn mendes x reader #boundaries #boundaries series

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astrawoven-blog · 6 years ago

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GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Nata’li Kovak NICKNAMES: Nat, Little One, AGE: 23 BIRTHDATE: October 27th GENDER: Female HOME PLANET: Waii T’aan SPECIES: Meraqi SPOKEN LANGUAGE: Common OCCUPATION: ‘Attendant' // Information & Acquisitions Specialist FACTION: Praestrigiae CLASS: Witch / Alchemist

APPEARANCE

EYE COLOR: Black HAIR: Orange/Red HEIGHT: 5′0 BUILD / BODY TYPE: Toned, curvy NOTICEABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: Bioluminescent freckles line Nata’li’s cheeks and brow, as well as along the curves of her chest, shoulders, hips, and along her legs and arms. She seems to shimmer in most light, making it difficult for her to hide away if she is not transformed into a different appearance. Her skin is rather soft to the touch,

INTERESTS

LIKES:

exploration && discovery

ruins && ancient cities

history && magic

waking up early

oceans && water

tropical/warm climates

being rewarded/praised

fruit && tart flavours

DISLIKES:

cold weather

being ignored

infants & babies

being alone

nausea && stomach aches

preaching

small winged creatures && most birds

sudden movement in her peripherals

PERSONALITY

INTELLIGENCE: High

ALIGNMENT: Lawful Evil

ABILITIES

hp.

▮▮▮▯▯ - 3 / 5

phy atk.

▮▮▮▯▯ - 3 / 5

phy def.

▮▮▮▯▯ - 3 / 5

mag atk.

▮▮▮▮▮ - 5 / 5

mag def.

▮▮▮▮▯ - 4 / 5

speed.

▮▮▮▯▯ - 3 / 5

SPECIAL NOTE: Physically, Nata’li is only average. Magically, however, she is a power-house, and thus usually fights from a distance, or from behind someone who can better take a hit.

SPECIALTIES: With nimble fingers and a silver tongue, Natalie specializes in information and theft -- and many brands of magic. Gifted in particular with light and water based magic, as well as her shapeshifting abilities. She uses these to her benefit more often outside of combat than within it.

WEAKNESSES: Natalie is not overly useful in a physical fight, defensively, or offensively. Without her magic, she is not much better than the average person off the street. Her loyalty to Broghan is also easily taken advantage of, although it can be a double edged blade if handled carelessly.

SKILLS && ABILITIES.

RACIAL TRAITS.

▶ Ocean’s Guard - with each hit taken from water-based magic, speed increases ▶ Siren - persuasion attempts have a higher chance of success ▶ Regeneration - once a day, use remaining strength to heal wounds ▶ Nimble Fingers - pick locks and pockets with greater efficiency ▶ Barrier - create a shield that protects one individual from magic damage ▶

CLASS TRAITS.

▶ High Magic stat ( magic attack is +3 ) ▶ Able to wield any simple/small weapon ( staffs, pistols, knives, daggers ) ▶ Can cast spells with the cost of bodily energy ▶ Contract Specialist ( has either 4 small familiars or 2 large ones ) ▶ Deception / Intimidation ( ability to trick or scare others easier with the aid of magic ) ▶ Pressure ( ability to cause status effects via pressure pointing or poisoning )

FACTION TRAITS.

▶ False Identity ( ability to falsify identification documents and assume a persona )

EQUIPMENT

A staff or other magical aid of choice

Basic bag of materials ( including a ritual kit, dice and a few days worth of food )

A small craft ( can hold 1 - 2 people comfortably )

20 Crypto ( currency )

BACKSTORY

Nata'li was very small when she last saw Waii T’aan. Brought to the surface city of J’ai-Qiita by her mother, she was small, curious, and enchanted by the newness around her. It was the first time she had seen the massive metropolis; and it was also the last.

She had stood out from her fellow meraqi even in the ocean’s depths, but on land, she shone like a gem. She was an obvious target; and worse, an unguarded one. Accompanied by an at best inattentive ‘guardian’, it was child’s play to snatch her up, and smuggle her off world.

Confused, afraid, and desperately homesick, Nata’li was shuttled to auction in the cargo hold of a slaver’s ship, learning from the other captives - some, having been slaves their whole lives - of what awaited her, when the ship landed. Their captors trained them, to try and break their spirits; and with Nata’li, their efforts could only be described as a success. She was alone. Her family was gone, and these people... They were worse than any monster that she could ever have imagined.

She felt a terror so sharp it made her whole body numb, as she stood - trembling, and sobbing, upon the auction stage. Her tears did not dampen how she sparkled and glimmered; a true jewel of meraqi beauty, even at so young an age -- and quickly, sharp bells rang out, chiming with the promise of what could, perhaps, be even worse.

When it was all over, the young girl could scarcely walk, for how her legs were trembling. When she was presented to a tall man with fangs that jutted down toward his chin, she did so on her knees, dangling limp from the rough hands of the others who presented her. She had never seen a grarkbor before -- and he terrified her, at sight alone.

He was introduced to her as Broghan; and he was to be her new master.

Life as a slave had been presented to Nata’li as being very straightforward. Easy, to understand, both in concept and in practice. She would work, she would do as she was told; and if she did not, she would be punished. But, as Broghan returned to his home, taking her with him... things were not so simple.

Although Natalie did spend some of her time working, under the watchful eye of his more experienced workers, there were days... brief moments, where he seemed to treat her less as a slave, and more like a daughter. When she made him laugh, when she behaved well and met with him for strange dinners, as he sat and stared at her with a confusing expression upon his face. It wasn’t like what she had been told of - the hunger of older men, which she had even seen before, in her time on the slaver’s ship. It was... something different. Something... almost kind.

She wanted, desperately, to have a family again. Her own had been lost, as Broghan had explained to her. Her mother, and her father... they were dead. That was why she had been taken -- but he was taking care of her, now. They were... family. If only she could behave. If only she could be good enough.

So, for Broghan -- for the benefits he promised, and for the love that she craved as much as she craved the air and the water itself -- Nata'li strove to be the best of all of Broghan’s ‘family’. She worked herself to the bone to accomplish any task that the older man set forth, so desperate was she for his approval. She even endeared herself toward the other slaves, starving for affection from nearly anyone who would offer it. From Broghan, however... she craved it, most of all.

Being small, unassuming, and more loyal than he could ever have expected, Nata’li was a surprisingly effective spy. It began when she was cleaning one of the many rooms of the house, wiggled into a vent to clean it out; unaware of her presence, a small group of potential business partners entered the room to wait for him. They spoke quietly, though openly, of their plans to double cross him. Furious, and horrified, at the idea of her guardian being hurt, Nata’li hastened to tell Broghan before they could do so. She remained in her hiding place until their meeting was over, and quickly slipped to his side once they had left.

From there, he took advantage of Nata’li’s sharp ears and eyes, using her to greet his associates, meet them by chance in his offices, or clean the rooms while they were there. She was able to uncover a wealth of information for him; people easily assumed she was naught but an uneducated slave, leaving documents out for her to read at her leisure, having conversations in languages she quickly picked up, and outright ignoring her presence as simply a slave. All of this only lifted her value, in Broghan’s eyes -- and as a result, earned her a room of her own.

When Broghan brought her to what came to be her quarters, for the rest of her life, he told her a story; of another daughter that he’d once loved, and who had been stolen away from him. It had been her room, before -- but it was Natal’i’s, now. The gesture sealed for Nat the vision she had of Broghan as a father; and ensured for Broghan her loyalty, for years to come.

One night, this loyalty saved his life. A woman slipped into the house, and was horrified to see Natalie in a room that had once belonged to Broghan’s daughter -- their daughter. Her name, she said, was Urza. She said that she had once been his wife, but that he had done terrible things. That Nata’li was in danger. She swore that she could help Nata’li... and, of a habit to manipulate and lie, Nata’li played along. Urza said that she could not take Nata’li that night -- that her presence changed everything. She promised, though, that she would return for her. That she only needed to keep the secret for one more day, and then she would be free. Free meant nothing to Nata’li, though; she valued Broghan’s approval so much more. She waited naught more than an hour after Urza left to pad along the halls to Broghan’s room, and tell him the truth.

When Urza returned to ‘rescue’ Nata’li, the meraqi girl went with her; and lead her straight into a trap. Broghan was waiting for them. He mocked her - tormented her - and with Nata’li, he slaughtered her.

From that day on, Nata’li became Broghan’s right hand. The first he turned to, for many things. Nata’li became steadily more like family, true family, as the years went on. Admittedly, after a time... it went to her head. She got cocky, and forgot that she could be punished.

Broghan did not hesitate to remind her of the price of failure. Dragging her down to the surface of Gliskarbor, and even further beneath, he reminded her of her weakness, compared to him. In the heat and the pressure that made her collapse to her knees, gasping for air, and struggling to survive -- he made her beg him to spare her. It was by his mercy that she lived; she couldn’t forget that. He refused to let her.

He wasn’t so bad, though -- or, so she told herself. He had cared for her, protected her, taught her, and in his own way, cherished her. She owes him her life... and so, she cannot leave. Cannot betray him. But, as time goes on, freedom... It does have it’s own sort of allure, doesn’t it?

#; profile #profile - Nat

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themattress · 7 years ago

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My Top 50 OUAT Episodes

And now, as a final goodbye to OUAT, I give you this list of my personal picks for the 50 best episodes in the series, listed in order of airing. Two-hour broadcasts are counted as one here.

1. Pilot - 1x01. One of the best TV pilots of recent years due to how quickly it grabs you and emotionally invests you in its magical atmosphere and the plight of its central characters.

2. The Thing You Love Most - 1x02. Best watched immediately after the pilot, as it deals with the same story but from the dark and twisted perspective of its villain, the Evil Queen.

3. Snow Falls - 1x03. Snow and Charming are, well, charming in their first adventure together and the start of their romance, as is sweet Mary Margaret in the present day.

4. That Still Small Voice - 1x05. Jiminy Cricket of all characters gets a surprisingly dark and emotional backstory that resonates with him in the extremely intense present-day scenario.

5. The Heart is a Lonely Hunter - 1x07. Jamie Dornan gives an incredible performance as the tormented Sheriff Graham / Huntsman, all the way to the episode’s tragic conclusion.

6. Desperate Souls - 1x08. We get our first true insight into the backstory of the enigmatic Rumpelstiltskin, and Emma becomes sheriff, making this a truly pivotal episode for the show.

7. Skin Deep - 1x12. A truly subversive, twisted take on the Beauty and the Beast story, with some unexpected layers added to Rumple’s character and Robert Carlyle’s performance.

8. Red-Handed - 1x15. Little Red Riding Hood IS the Big Bad Wolf. That is awesome.

9. Hat Trick - 1x17. One of the most terrifying, surreal episodes in the entire series, with the great Sebastian Stan knocking it out of the park as the deranged Mad Hatter, Jefferson.

10. The Return - 1x19. We learn why the curse was cast in a devastatingly emotional story that adds more to the characters of Rumple and August as the season enters its final stretch.

11. The Stranger - 1x20. August’s true identity is one of the best reveals in the whole series.

12. An Apple Red As Blood - 1x21. Part 1 of the season finale, as Regina in both the past and present gears up to finish off her nemesis, with the episode ending on a huge shocker.

13. A Land Without Magic - 1x22. Part 2 of the season finale, the best finale the show ever had, and quite possibly my all-time favorite episode. Almost everything about this episode is perfect and gives you the feeling of a story coming to its end as the threads come together.

14. Broken - 2x01. A solid season opener that sets the show on an exciting new course.

15. Lady of the Lake - 2x03. Things really pick up as Team Princess is formed, Cora is established as the new Big Bad, and we get some beautiful moments between Snow and Emma that make it all the more shameful that the show utterly ruins this dynamic later on.

16. The Doctor - 2x05. Dr. Whale is Victor Frankenstein. Did NOT see that coming!

17. Tallahassee - 2x06. The first adventure that “Captain Swan” (Emma and Hook) partake in together, while at the same time we finally learn about Emma’s sad past with her ex-lover.

18. Queen of Hearts - 2x09. A thrilling conclusion to the first arc of Season 2, where we finally learn Cora’s motivations and get an epic fight between the heroes and the villains.

19. Manhattan - 2x14. This episode is a real turning point, with Emma’s ex-lover being revealed as Rumple’s long-lost son, along with several new insights into Rumple’s past.

20. The Queen Is Dead - 2x15. One of the show’s most emotional episodes, in no small part thanks to Bailee Madison’s truly amazing performance as young Snow in the flashback.

21. The Miller's Daughter - 2x16. We learn about Cora’s fascinating backstory and the true nature of her relationship with Rumple. But then she dies, and the season totally falls apart.

22. Second Star To The Right - 2x21. Finally it feels like shit is getting done, and the concept of a terrifying re-imagining of Peter Pan in the flashback is immediately captivating.

23. And Straight On 'Til Morning - 2x22. The mess Season 2 became gets cleaned up in this gripping finale, with a brilliant new story set-up laid out to be followed in Season 3.

24. The Heart Of The Truest Believer - 3x01. OUAT is truly back at the top of its game here, juggling four different plot threads perfectly and introducing its greatest villain, Peter Pan.

25. Lost Girl - 3x02. The flashback here is meh, but the present day stuff is nigh-perfect.

26. Quite a Common Fairy - 3x03. For the first time, Regina’s potential redemption feels good and genuine, and Rose McIver’s re-imagining of Tinker Bell is a delight from the start.

27. Good Form - 3x05. Hook’s backstory is amazing, and Captain Swan truly begins here.

28. Ariel - 3x06. JoAnna Garcia Swisher makes a truly perfect live-action rendition of Ariel, and the interactions between all the characters in Neverland take a truly engaging turn.

29. Dark Hollow - 3x07. Belle and Ariel, on a mission from Rumpelstiltskin, team up to fight John and Michael Darling who serve the villainous Peter Pan. Only on this show, people!

30. Think Lovely Thoughts - 3x08. The “Nevengers” truly show how far they’ve come working as a group here, and we get one of the show’s most shocking and twisted reveals.

31. Going Home - 3x11. The perfect series finale that isn’t a series finale, with the action increasingly slowing down so that you can fully appreciate the emotions. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if the show had ended right here, I’d have been completely satisfied.

32. Witch Hunt - 3x13. Just plain fun and funny, with great dialogue and great character interactions that really get you re-adjusted to these characters and to life in Storybrooke.

33. The Jolly Roger - 3x17. Quite possibly the quintessential Hook episode, showing just what kind of a person he was and how he desperately wants to be a better man now.

34. Snow Drifts / There's No Place Like Home - 3x21 / 22. After the incredible letdown that was the climax of the Wicked arc, we get this two-part finale that really embodies the magic OUAT had and never quite will again, with Emma’s character arc coming to a fitting end.

35. The Apprentice - 4x04. “The Dark One lies. The Dark One tricks”. This episode does a perfect job at re-establishing Rumple as a true villain and a schemer to be reckoned with.

36. The Snow Queen - 4x07. Quite possibly the most heartbreaking villain backstory the show has ever had, plus riveting scenes between Elizabeth Mitchell and Jennifer Morrison.

37. Smash the Mirror - 4x08. It’s overlong and the Regina and Robin subplot is complete bullshit, but everything else in both the past and present is golden. The 4A arc peaked here.

38. Shattered Sight - 4x10. The boffo comedy in this episode is cringe-inducing, but all of the serious, emotional stuff centered around the Snow Queen and her family gets me every time.

39. Poor Unfortunate Soul - 4x15. Ursula’s backstory is kind of iffy, but the effect it has on Hook and his development here is really good, as are the villains and August’s return.

40. Sympathy for the De Vil - 4x18. “Evil isn’t born, it’s made”...except in this case, where it is 100% born and takes us on a twisted tale that could pass for a good Twilight Zone episode.

41. The Broken Kingdom - 5x04. The twist of the glorious kingdom of Camelot being a kingdom literally built on sand, and its monarch a disturbed megalomaniac, is a great one. Plus, Snow and Charming actually get do something heroic after a long period of inactivity!

42. Nimue - 5x07. The actors portraying Merlin and Nimue really sell the doomed epic romance between the two, as we get the most far-back flashback in the show’s entire run.

43. Labor of Love - 5x13. This episode can be summed up as “The Nevengers are back.” That alone counters the disappointment of how blandly Hercules and Megara are portrayed.

44. The Brothers Jones - 5x15. A touching tale of brotherhood, good intentions gone wrong, self-loathing and forgiveness, plus giving Hook closure with his big brother. I just love it.

45. Firebird - 5x20. The flashback is utter tripe, but the escalation in the present-day story, the performances, and Captain Swan’s True Love test makes this episode well worth it.

46. Last Rites - 5x21. Aside from that moment with Robin, this episode is awesome, especially the Underworld scenes with the duo I never knew I wanted: Hook and Arthur.

47. The Other Shoe - 6x03. This episode embodies what the show SHOULD have become: a more light-hearted series with adventures-of-the-day starring Emma, Hook and Henry.

48. A Wondrous Place - 6x15. Hook sails on Captain Nemo’s sub, the Nautilus, alongside Aladdin and Jasmine, meeting up with Ariel and facing down Jafar. Only on this show, people!

49. The Song in Your Heart - 6x20. Because really, who doesn’t love a Musical Episode? This one centering around Emma and her marriage to Hook makes it all the more special.

50. The Final Battle - 6x21 / 22. It’s got a LOT of problems, but the ending it reaches is truly one that fits the show, and we would have been better off if ABC hadn’t renewed it afterward.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Price of Gold - 1x04. Rumpelstiltskin’s first showcase episode, and he’s terrifying in it.

Dreamy - 1x14. Screw the haters, I really liked this episode! It was hilarious and sweet.

The Crocodile - 2x04. Our introduction to Killian Jones / Captain Hook. It’s a good one, and I’d have liked it better had Rumple’s role in both the past and present not been so disturbing.

Save Henry - 3x09. A tad anti-climactic and the Regina focus was misaimed, but still good.

New York City Serenade - 3x12. A damn fine start to a new beginning for the show.

Rocky Road - 4x03. Elsa and the Snow Queen are both fantastic characters, both shown well here. It’s held back by the introduction of Will Scarlet, who ended up being a waste.

Darkness on the Edge of Town - 4x12. This episode gives us the visual of villains on a road trip stopping at a drive-thru. You just gotta love that! Also, the Chernabog was awesome.

Operation Mongoose - 4x21 / 22. Despite Isaac’s (and by extension, A&E’s) terrible writing, the weird situations and performances from the actors makes this an entertaining finale.

Siege Perilous - 5x03. A good old-fashioned Camelot adventure is just what I wanted.

The Bear King - 5x09. Again, screw the haters. The show needed more episodes like this, a standalone where the plot takes a pause and the side characters are allowed to develop.

Broken Heart - 5x10. The present-day plot is absolute crap, but the flashback in Camelot is really well executed, and Colin O’Donoghue is clearly having a blast playing Dark Hook.

Souls of the Departed - 5x12. Not ideal for the 100th episode, but a good start to the Underworld arc, with a lot of familiar faces returning and a great new villain introduced.

Devil's Due - 5x14. Despite her fate in this episode, it’s great to see the writers presenting Milah more sympathetically than she was before, and Hades continues to be a delight.

Our Decay - 5x16. The first episode where Zelena feels truly human instead of the cartoonish psychopath she was before, with her and Hades’ romance being legit touching.

Sisters - 5x19. While I don’t much care for the subplot with Prince James, the main plot featuring the reconciliation between Cora, Regina and Zelena is great and beautifully acted.

Strange Case - 6x04. Oh, Mr. Hyde, you left us way too soon. The episode is sadly weighed down by Rumple’s textbook abuse toward Belle, which we now know is never truly punished.

Dark Waters - 6x06. A good bonding episode between Hook and Henry, plus a great new character from the Land of Untold Stories who is actually faithful to his source material!

Heartless - 6x07. For once, Lana Parilla actually gives us an old-school Evil Queen performance, where she’s scary and truly malevolent rather than campy and over-the-top.

Mother's Little Helper - 6x16. I really like the Dark Realm, and wish that more was done with it. The reunion between long-time rivals Hook and Blackbeard is also a lot of fun.

The Black Fairy - 6x19. The retcon that Rumple was born a Savior is ridiculous, but the titular Black Fairy’s backstory actually makes her an interesting character for the first time.

A Pirate's Life - 7x02. It was nice to see Emma again, and even better to see that the Hook in this arc is actually Wish!Hook rather than the original, who is still living happily with Emma.

The Girl in the Tower - 7x14. Robin and Alice are beyond precious as a couple in both the past and the present, finally washing away the bad taste left behind by “Ruby Slippers”.

The Guardian - 7x18. It may have been late in coming, but Rumple / Weaver actually becomes interesting here as we get to explore his relationship with his newfound friends.

Homecoming - 7x21. It’s good to see several old characters again, and even better to see all the loose threads from that abominable Season 6 Wish Realm two-parter finally addressed.

Leaving Storybrooke - 7x22. Except for Rumple’s end, most of what happens following Snow and Charming’s appearance is utter shit. But.....at least the show is finally over!

#Once Upon a Time #ABC #Opinion

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itsfarmerphil · 8 years ago

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Ever heard of success criteria? Ever heard of people chasing after success? Ever heard people saying how they want to succeed? What does success look like to you? What does it look like to those around you? Is the team striving towards the same goals and shared success? Interestingly enough, looking up success we find the definition of

suc·cess

[səkˈses]

NOUN

the accomplishment of an aim or purpose:

“the president had some success in restoring confidence”

synonyms: favorable outcome · successfulness · successful result · triumph ·

Hollywood ending

antonyms: failure

the attainment of popularity or profit:

“the success of his play”

synonyms: prosperity · affluence · wealth · riches · opulence

antonyms: poverty

a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity:

“I must make a success of my business”

synonyms: triumph · bestseller · blockbuster · sellout · (smash) hit · megahit ·

winner

antonyms: failure · flop

archaic

the outcome of an undertaking, specified as achieving or failing to achieve its aims:

“the good or ill success of their maritime enterprises”

ORIGIN

mid 16th cent.: from Latin successus, from the verb succedere ‘come close after’ (see succeed).

What is your aim? What is your goal? What is your target? What will it take to accomplish?

What is your purpose? What is your reason? What is your direction? What will it take to complete it?

What does prosperity look like when it comes to success? What does it look like where you live? What does it look like in the world around you? What will it take to achieve it?

Bible in One Year 2017 (Day 11) : Psalm 8, Matthew 9:14-38, Genesis 24

Today’s devotional looks into success. Ever noticed how some people look at success as “fame, fortune, or greatness“? Success isn’t a bad thing to happen as God’s success is incredible. Society may see success as “fame, fortune, or greatness” but we can look into God’s Word and find that success is a good thing as it is a blessing from God! So let’s take a look into today’s Word from God and see how in the old and in the new testaments we see how success is presented and how it is different when we hear from Jesus…

So let’s start with praising God for His creation…all that He has created…

1 Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory in the heavens. 2 Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. 3 When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?

5 You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. 6 You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet: 7 all flocks and herds, and the animals of the wild, 8 the birds in the sky, and the fish in the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

–from Psalm 8

How often do you consider all that God created? In those 6 days from nothing to everything…Do you sit in amazement? Do you praise God? Do you consider all He has set into motion, prepared in advance for you to accomplish and complete? Do you praise God for that too? He created so much including you and me. Let’s praise God today for all He has done and for the incredible creation we get to be a part of!

Yes things happened but God made plans that we can be restored to Him thru Jesus and forgiven for the sins of our lives! Yes in this world there are things that are taking place that aren’t as they should be but one day everything will be settled!

If we reflect on Jesus’ way to success then we may live out our lives differently:

Jesus Questioned About Fasting

14 Then John’s disciples came and asked him, “How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?”

15 Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.

16 “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. 17 Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

Jesus Raises a Dead Girl and Heals a Sick Woman

18 While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, “My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.” 19 Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples.

20 Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. 21 She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”

22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

23 When Jesus entered the synagogue leader’s house and saw the noisy crowd and people playing pipes, 24 he said, “Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep.” But they laughed at him. 25 After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up.26 News of this spread through all that region.

Jesus Heals the Blind and the Mute

27 As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!”

28 When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”

“Yes, Lord,” they replied.

29 Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”; 30 and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” 31 But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region.

32 While they were going out, a man who was demon-possessed and could not talk was brought to Jesus. 33 And when the demon was driven out, the man who had been mute spoke. The crowd was amazed and said, “Nothing like this has ever been seen in Israel.”

34 But the Pharisees said, “It is by the prince of demons that he drives out demons.”

The Workers Are Few

35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

–from Matthew 9

We see thru God’s Word in today’s reading how Jesus redefines success. We need to review His vision, His life, and His teachings! Remember how God’s ways aren’t our ways? Remember how His ways are better and higher than our ways? Remember how we are to not lean on our own understanding but to put our hope and trust in God? As such how Jesus has defined success isn’t really how the world around us would define success!

Success doesn’t mean popularity! Looking at Jesus we find how some loved Him and other hated Him! In v33 above “Nothing like this has ever been seen in Israel.” but in v34 above “It is by the prince of demons that he drives out demons.” — not everyone had the same view of Jesus! Not everyone appreciated what He did and was doing and to this day continues to do! Similarly, if we think that success means popularity we may end up being in a shock or surprise!

Matthew shares what Jesus’ success looked like when we read:

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.

–from Matthew 9:35

Our church has a 3 fold mission which aligns to the above. We are to be an outreaching church, embracing church, and a discipling church.

Today’s devotional (Day 11 – Bible in One Year 2017) points us to what we need to do to succeed in following Jesus’ example:

The need is urgent

Jesus saw that ‘they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd’ (v.36). Today, we see millions who don’t know Jesus and are spiritually lost. In addition, we see millions who are starving, homeless, suffering from preventable diseases and without even the most basic education.

The motive is love

Jesus had compassion (v.36). This is the strongest word for love in the Greek language (derived from the Greek word for ‘guts’). It is used only of Jesus. It could be translated ‘he was gutted’ – his heart broke.

Jesus was unconcerned about worldly categories of importance or success. Here we see him helping two very different classes of people – an important ‘ruler’ (v.18) and a woman whose menstrual bleeding would have made her unclean and left her on the fringes of society (v.20). Yet Jesus had compassion on them both.

The trigger is prayer

Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field’ (v.38). Pray for more people to be raised up who will follow Jesus and reap the harvest.

The potential is vast

Jesus said, ‘The harvest is plentiful’ (v.37). Jesus has modelled what success looks like – proclaiming the kingdom and demonstrating its in-breaking into history. Now he calls you to follow his model – to share in his mission, multiplying its reach.

–from Day 11 – Bible in One Year 2017

So let’s pray for wisdom! Let’s pray for guidance! Let’s pray for discernment! Let’s pray for direction! Let’s pursue God in all we do that in all our ways we acknowledge Him and He will make our path straight! So let’s pursue God and allow Him to help us to success by guiding our steps…Today’s devotional speaks to it this way…

Commanding Scripture

Obviously, Abraham did not have the Scriptures that we have – but he did have the commands of God that later became part of the Scriptures. God commanded his people to only marry other believers in him. Abraham told his servant he must not get a wife for his son from the Canaanites, but from his own people (vv.3–4).

Compelling Spirit

The Holy Spirit leads us as we pray. Although the words ‘Holy Spirit’ are not used in this passage, it is clear that all the participants are in a position to be guided by God, listening to him and being led by the Spirit. Abraham’s servant prayed from his heart (vv.12,45), Rebekah appeared ‘before he had finished praying’ (v.15), and when Rebekah appeared, Isaac was out in the field where he had gone to meditate (v.63).

Common Sense

The choice of Rebekah made sense. She was clearly someone who was appropriate for Isaac. It so happened that she was ‘very beautiful’ (v.16). She was also ‘a virgin; no man had ever lain with her’ (v.16). Most importantly, she was clearly generous, gracious and kind. Her immediate response to the request for water was not only to offer it, but also to say, ‘I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking’ (v.19).

Counsel of the Saints

One of the ways in which God guides us is through godly advice (‘saints’ is used here in the New Testament sense to describe all God’s people). Although Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage was very different from the modern western marriage in that it involved a large element of arrangement, there was also an element of choice. Rebekah was asked, ‘“Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she replied’ (v.57). Isaac chose to marry her and ‘loved her’ (v.67). They were following the counsel of the saints in the sense that everyone around, especially their parents, recognised, ‘This is from the Lord’ (v.50).

Circumstantial Signs

This is one of the clearest cases in the Bible of God guiding through circumstantial signs. The servant asks for a sign and was given exactly what he asked for (vv.12–26). However, as we have seen, the sign was not random. It was a test of Rebekah’s character, which she fulfilled.

–from Day 11 – Bible in One Year 2017

Psalm 8

Matthew 9:14-38

Genesis 24

What does success look like to you? Success is… Ever heard of success criteria? Ever heard of people chasing after success? Ever heard people saying how they want to succeed?

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