#living in the real world (ain't it fun)

[naelysvelaryon]

who: @daceystvrk when and where: semi-flashback to the gathering in kings landing, naelys finally meets her years long penpal...all by chance. context: despite once being betrothed to adam, nellie and dacey never had the opportunity to meet. until now.

there were far more seven pointed stars adorned across the majestic, rebuilt halls of the red keep; though what surprised her more was the fact that influence had also spread beyond the halls of the keep and into the streets of the capital. she had been perched upon the velvet recliner beside the stained glass within the velaryon apartments; and when she saw a procession in the distance she was surprised to find it a collection of followers of the faith, adorned in robes of white and with chains and maces in their hands.

they seemed to be whipping themselves, and it was all she could think of as she clutched her hands together in this grand sept, standing side by side with members of her family and her court. why would these people do such harm to themselves, and for what purpose?

the septon seemed to continue to hurl down word after word, and for a while she was managing to ignore it and focus on the vividness of the colours on the glass. that was until the nature of the words thrown from the pulpit began to change, and it were words referring to the sins of lust and fornication that caught her attention. not like a hook, but rather like the feeling of a hand gripping her neck and forcing her to look. and suddenly she found herself listening, half aware that most of the sept would believe the septon was alluding to the oldest of the velaryon sisters - and even that naelys found inherently cruel. it felt as though they were standing, and there was a flame directly over them.

and he felt like he could see right through her, and see the memories of her braavosi perfume and her purple bedsheets. and his eyes, or the sound of her laugh mixing with his own.

she quietly muttered something about excusing herself and finding there were too many people, all but pushing by vhaenessa and deimos as she kept her hands clasped together as she walked; the doors seemed as though they were moving further and further away, and the walls were collapsing in. people knew naelys struggled with packed places and loud noises, or at least she prayed they did. she picked up her pace and let the door slam behind her, not knowing if any saw the slight tears that were sprung to her amethyst eyes.

they were not subtle, they were pools that swum, and threatened to finally fall. and fall they did as she let it in a short inhale of air, wiping her cheeks with the back of her sleeve.

it was not until she turned around and saw another dark haired figure standing outside did she realise she was not alone in standing outside of the sept doors. she momentarily froze, wiping her cheeks one more time in defeat. the lady had seen her. "are you waiting for somebody?" naelys asked, still feeling some wetness on her cheeks as she remained fixed in place. she did not know what to say. "i can go back in and get them for you."

[jirsungs]

DRUM ME, STUPID! ☆ p.js

pairing: drummer!jisung x fem!reader

drum me, stupid! synopsis: a story about a college student enjoying her life in school perfectly fine, until one of her friends drags the group along to watch their school's band perform. little did she know that day would be marked as the day her whole world turned upside down because of a particular, nonchalant, and difficult drummer boy. a drummer boy who spilled his entire drink on her brand new outfit at a party and never came back.

genre: college au, social media au (some chapters will be written though!), music band au, slight enemies to lovers, unrequited love (for a bit), whole bunch of fluff, angst, mutual pining, silly humor

warnings: explicit language, college partying, alcohol consumption, A LOT of banter between characters including sexual/kys/death jokes of the sort, reader's kind of an ass (in the beginning), jisung ends up being a lover boy once the "nonchalant" wears off, yeonjun flirts like 24/7, overwhelming feelings that the characters can't handle

author's note: hi! since i've always enjoyed reading smaus and always get writers block with full on stories, i decided to make my own :] please excuse my bad knowledge on any of these majors or experiences and none of this reflects the real lives of the kpop idols! this was written solely for entertainment and fun! enjoy!!<3

comment if you wish to be tagged for the story's updates!

profiles #1 ☆ profiles #2

chapters will be added once they're posted!

episode 1: i did NOT agree to this gc name!

episode 2: costumers of ningcreates?!

episode 3: the universe is out to get me

episode 4: p.y.t (pretty young thing) (written)

episode 5: jisung's a coward, we all say in unison

episode 6: the latte lounge incident (written)

episode 7: hating each other era

episode 8: future uncles and aunt

episode 9: apologies & new beginnings

episode 10: what a lover boy!

episode 11: love like the movies (written)

episode 12: super obvious, but still not a confession

episode 13: my wonderwall, at least i hope so (written)

episode 14: she's going ghost mode on me

episode 15: ain't no way a girl got you like this

episode 16: i missed you

episode 17: i missed you (too) (written)

episode 18: finally mine!

episode 19: ningcreates (expanded) fan club

episode 20: she fr got him liking musicals

episode 21: drummer's girlfriend duties

episode 22: i fear yeonjun's loyalty to latte lounge finally paid off

episode 23: first mistake: letting y/n out of your sight wtf

episode 24: you maam caller

episode 25: wym drummer boy has a driver's license??

episode 26: only losers make wishes at 11:11

episode 27: pussy boy stand up

episode 28: no girls allowed at rockway rehearsals! (written)

episode 29: crashed ynsung's date lol

episode 30: ning bag that shit

episode 31: drummed her stupid!

END! started: 06.23.24 finished: 09.03.24

BONUS CHAPTERS:

#1: close to you (written) tba. . .

#2: the not-so-silly apple or orange juice debate tba. . .

#3: finally meeting the parents? tba. . .

© JIRSUNGS. ANY TRANSLATIONS/REPOSTS/PUBLISHES OF MY WORKS ON ANY PLATFORM ARE STRICTLY PROHIBITED! ALL COMMENTS, REBLOGS, LIKES, & FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU, MWA! <3

[hermitcraftx]

the only reason dream everrrr had a platform or was popular is bc everyone made thirst traps of. his blond fake sona for years (he has fucking BROWN HAIR???) and then when he revealed he was a pedophile creepy weirdo right after he revealed his face everyone that made a career making daddy dream manhunt NSFW didn't stop blogging because some people would fuck steaming piles of human garbage if it was white and had abs. like every dream stan I've ever met is perpetually living in 2021 and dream is too and if that's not the biggest sign of the world's most colossal fumble I don't know what is. genuinely the only talent dream has is being uncannily manipulative and vague to try and get away with everything and play the victim later on after he says genuine rancid dogshit but he's not even the best at that. genuinely he's the definition of a career made by other people and if he thinks for a second his little white suburban fake redneck yuppy mr beast wannabe that he's going to successfully be a right wing grifter after being known as the gogy wogy uwu yaoi queerbait streamer (and yes I do think he's genuinely the ONLY real person that word applies to) then he's fucking insane. ain't nobody fucks with him. he's a footnote in Minecraft history. the worst people alive in the community don't fuck with him. tommyinnit is having tea with jacksepticeye and doing comedy shows and having fun with all the remaining good internet ogs and regularly pulling lots of views meanwhile the only way dream stays relevant out of his cesspool wretch infested pedophile apologist echo chamber that is his fanbase is regularly triggering dsmp drama to feel sorry for himself. can't do manhunt without cheating and it wasn't even an original idea another abuser took that from him can't do an smp tommyinnit made that for him it really seems to me on a psychological level that to a degree some of that cdream shit wasn't roleplay because dream knew the most memorable part of the biggest part of his career would be tommyinnit forever and always. and now he has to fight for tommyinnit beef scraps saying slurs and shit when he's not even involved getting way too comfortable after Trump gets elected when tommy barely pays him more mind than he paid Logan Paul when he WORKED with dream for YEARS. tommyinnit gets to be known as the man who fostered love and care for his fan base, an all around good person and joy to be around and a ray of light in the dark space that is the mcyt space, and a guy never backed down on his morals and ethics whereas dreams only claim to fame now are being a cheating bigoted ableist creepy pedophile-esque freak with no concept of proper boss/employee conduct or creator/fan conduct with a Republican bastard and a sexual assaulter as friends who was seen as mildly hot by teenagers in 2021 without y'know being able to comprehend you're not supposed to reciprocate. and I know it keeps him up at night because otherwise he wouldn't try and regain relevancy by starting shit with Tommy every 6 months. is it because tommy is an adult now, clay??? when people look back on fond memories of fandom in 20-30 years not a single person will be able to look at anything dream has been apart of without grimacing not even his fans because I know all those arguments on behalf of a nasty ass pervert will not be fond memories. the only original thing he's done is say the r slur- oh wait. I mean groom minors- oh wait. I mean be a bigoted racist- oh wait. I mean have gross misconduct with a fan- oh wait. I mean start drama a lot in hopes of getting attention- oh wait. genuinely the most pathetic shadow nothingburger ass of a man I've ever seen in my life may dogs eat his face off in the middle of the night.

[mrsknowitallll]

Come Hell Or High Water

Sammie “Preacher boy” x Black Plus Size Reader

Summary - What was supposed to be a night full of fun, a night filled with passion turns into something else entirely, something that’ll change the trajectory of both your lives forever.

Warning: Child abuse and neglect, smut, murder, foul language, violence

A/N - This one is a little bit heavy with some sensitive topics. If any of the things mentioned above trigger you I highly recommend skipping this fic, I have more in my masterlist pinned on my page that are much lighter. Hope you guys enjoy! I just loveeee me some Sammie. 🤭

You sighed heavily, wiping the sweat from your brow as you finished sweeping up the kitchen.

Your father was away visiting some relatives up north for a few days so you had the place to yourself for a while but that didn't mean that the work ever stopped.

"Keep up with the land and keep my god damn house clean, if I come back to some mess we gone have a problem you hea?" He grabbed onto the back of your neck roughly.

"Yes papa." You stiffened in his hold, nodding as best as you could.

But the weekend was just around the corner and after the week you had, you just wanted to relax a bit, take some of the edge off.

When you heard about the opening of Club Juke you just had to attend. Word spread that they were gonna have great food, top notch music and some and the world’s finest liquor, you’d be a fool to miss out. You weren't quite old enough to drink but you were old enough to get in and that's all that mattered to you.

You put on your best dress, a silk number that was a deep shade of red, it hugged your curves real nice, your ass especially.

You wrapped a matching shawl around your shoulders and slipped on your heels.

You grabbed your purse as you headed for the door, but not before looking at yourself one last time in your small kitchen mirror.

"Aren't you a little young to be here miss?" Cornbread questioned as you stepped near the entrance.

"I'm old enough and my money just as good as everyone else’s” You waved a few coins around, a few dollars you saved from babysitting.

His eyes followed the money, snatching it from your hands without hesitation and stepping aside to let you in.

Your ears perked up at the sound of singing, a smooth soulful voice coming from the small stage which was surrounded by people dancing so you couldn't quite see.

You walked over as if you were in a trance pushing people out of the way earning several curses from the other club patrons.

You eventually got to the front staring up at the culprit.

You felt heat pool from the top of your head all the way to the tips of your toes as you locked eyes with him.

His skin was smooth as silk, a pretty dark brown that seemed to glisten even under the dim lighting in the club, he was dressed in a simple suit, nothing too fancy, good enough for the little joint, just right for him, and his slender fingers strummed his guitar beautifully, fingers dancing over the strings like magic.

You drank him in like a glass of wine, eyes eventually sliding back up to meet his once more.

He grinned down at you, shooting you a wink.

You looked away feeling your face flush, thank god it wasn't visible.

After a while you settled down at the bar, still stealing glances at the boy from across the room, him doing the same.

Finally he began to approach you and you did your best to act casual, if casual was adjusting your outfit and asking the bartender if you looked okay.

"My, my aren't you pretty." He whistled eyes trailing your frame causing you to squirm.

"And you're quite the charmer." You smirked trying to play it cool.

"You enjoy the show?" He questioned taking a seat next to you.

"Absolutely, you sure can blow." You shot him a compliment causing him to grin.

"That ain't the only thing this mouth of mine can do." He leaned in, hand brushing your thigh.

"If i didn't know any better i'd say you was tryna sweet talk your way into my drawls. You don't even know my name, how you know i ain't a serial killer?" You teased.

"It would be an honor to die by these pretty hands of yours." He intertwined his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles sweetly.

"You wanna get out of here?" You squeezed your thighs together, staring at him hungrily.

"Sure thing." He placed his hat on his head, placing his guitar over his shoulders.

You giggled as his lips trailed from your neck down to your exposed chest, his hands gripping your wide hips tightly.

"As much as i would love to take you right here right now, i think we better go somewhere more private." He glanced around the dark woods wearily.

"My house is near by, my pa gone for the week, it'll just be you and me." You pecked his lips smiling wickedly.

He scooped you up in his arms, and took off running, surprising you with his strength.

You laughed until your stomach started to hurt, hitting his shoulders, squealing for him to put you down.

He finally did once he reached your porch, setting you down gently.

As soon as you unlocked the door he was on you, hands sliding beneath your dress, grabbing ahold of your thighs and lifting you up, placing you on your kitchen counter, lips attacking yours in a rough, sloppy kiss.

He unbuttoned his pants quickly, slipping them down just enough to pull out his hard length.

You spat on your hand, wetting it before grabbing his dick, stroking painfully slow.

He ripped your panties off, fingers dipping into your core, your arousal soaking them.

Just before he could sink into you the door was slung open, revealing the one person you weren't expecting to see for at least another day or two.

You jumped from the counter quickly pulling down your dress.

You shook in fear as he surveyed the scene, his face contorting quickly, from shock to blind rage.

"I leave you 'lone for a few days and i come back to you spread open on my kitchen counter like some hooker!" Your father screamed sending a harsh slap across your face.

"Now wait just a minute mister ain't no need for all that, it was me that came onto her." Sammie struggled to keep his pants up.

Your father swung on him, landing a clean hit on his jaw causing the boy to stumble.

You ran over to him, holding his face in your hands.

"You alright?" You questioned, tears brimming your eyes.

He nodded.

"Come hea!" Your father grabbed you by your hair suddenly, dragging you out the front door and tossing you onto the lawn.

He proceeded to stomp on you like he was putting out a cigarette bud, not beating the life out of his daughter, his only child.

You placed your arms over your head protectively, screaming in agony, the pain unbearable.

It all abruptly stopped when you heard gunshots ring out.

Sammie stood beside you, your father's shot gun in hand, his lifeless body now lying next to yours, blood staining blades of grass.

You stood on shaky feet wincing, arm gripping your middle.

You spared a single glance at your father, face blank.

You weren’t fazed by his death, that man never loved you, never cared for you, hell he began beating the daylights out of you the moment you learned to walk and talk so why should you give a fuck if he lived or died?

What you were worried about though was Sammie, you snatched the gun from his hands tossing it to the ground.

He shook rapidly, tears streaming down his face like a waterfall.

"Hey, hey! Look at me, don't go there okay? Come back to me." You tapped the sides of his face attempting to snap him back into reality.

"I- i gotta call Sm-Smoke a- and Stack, We gotta get rid of him we gotta get him outta here." The boy grabbed your father by his feet and began dragging him back into the house.

You took ahold of his arms, helping him.

“You stay here ight? I’ll be back soon.” Sammie adjusted his clothes.

“Like hell I am, I ain’t letting you go nowhere by yourself, not with the state you in, nor am I staying here with a dead man, i’m going with you!” You persisted, slipping your shoes back on.

Sammie knew there was no point in arguing with you so he just let you follow him.

“Well i’ll be.. damn lil man I ain’t know you had it in you!” Stack crouched down in front of your father’s body, observing the bullet wound.

You huffed in annoyance at the man’s antics.

He had been cracking jokes since the two of you went and got him, nothing bout the situation y’all were in was a laughing matter.

“Look, Stack was it? I don’t know if you noticed but Sammie’s not taking this too well, see he just killed a man and while that may be a tuesday for you and your brother it’s obviously a life changing experience for him, he’s clearly traumatized and now is not the time for games. You gone help us get rid of this motherfucker or is your comedy special gone run all night?” You crossed your arms stepping into his face, gritting your teeth.

Sammie grabbed your hand squeezing tightly, a silent show of gratitude.

You just glanced over at him smiling weakly.

Stack pursed his lips, eyes widening slightly.

He burst out laughing after a few seconds, holding onto his gut like you said the funniest thing in the world.

“My fault little lady, I ain’t mean no harm.” He held his hands up in surrender.

“She a keeper lil Sammie.” He briefly glanced over at the boy, winking.

“Me and Smoke gone take care of this here, the two of y’all just worry bout getting the fuck outta town.” He looked between the both of you.

“What?!” You spoke in unison.

“Y’all killed a man a skip and a hop away from a club full of people, you think they ain’t hear them gunshots? You think niggas ain’t gone ask questions? They gone notice this motherfucker is gone sooner or later and connect the dots. Don’t you got family? You think they ain’t gone wonder what the fuck happened to this nigga? That they ain’t gone come snooping round? Y’all gotta get the fuck up outta here, quick ‘fore the sun come up.” Smoke glared at the two of you.

“My entire life here in Mississippi, i can’t just pack up and go, leave everything i know behind.” You stared at the man in disbelief.

“We ain’t got no choice.” Sammie spoke gruffly.

You turned toward him, a “you can’t be serious” expression on your face.

“Look I get where you coming from, ion wanna leave mississippi behind either, my ma and pa, my brothers and sisters, but we ain’t got no choice in the matter now, what’s done is done, we gotta go.” He grabbed your hands intertwining them with his pulling you closer to him, planting a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Enough of that lovey dovey shit get the fuck on.” Stack waved them off.

You packed as many clothes as you could into a small duffle, gathering some of your father’s old clothes for Sammie as well.

You tossed the bag in the back of the car, hopping into the passenger side, Sammie on the drivers side, the engine already running.

“You stay safe, keep yo eyes peeled and yo head down.” Stack pat Sammie on the head.

“And protect ya lady, that mouth of hers gone get y’all in a world of trouble.” He teased.

You flipped him off causing him to chuckle.

After you said your goodbyes you and Sammie took off down the road, wind whipping against your faces, minds running a mile a minute.

You placed your hand on the back of Sammie’s head, fingers kneading through his hair gently, soothing him.

“I’m sorry I got you into all this mess, if it wasn’t for me you’d still be with your folks in that club, playing music, having yourself a good time.” You sighed heavily staring down at your feet.

“Hey look at me.” He took his eyes off the road for a moment to look at you.

You glanced up meeting his soft gaze.

“I ain’t worried bout none of that nonsense, the club, the music, none of it. If I didn’t do what i did that man would’ve killed you and i definitely wouldn’t be able to live with myself then.” He shook his head.

“Plus I been unhappy here for a long time, I always said i wanted to see the world, now’s my chance.” He confessed.

“And music don’t just exist in the Delta, it lives right here within me.” He pointed at his chest.

“No matter how far I travel the music ain’t gone ever leave my side.” He smiled pridefully.

“I got all I need right here, just you, me and the blues.”

[suzukiblu]

. . . . . . listen this is a personal thing, everyone has their own takes, so don't take this as me trying to yuck anyone's yum, this is just a quickie lil' vent post off the dome, BUT:

When a fic does a no-powers AU and makes Kon a fully normal high school student and/or farmboy who has lived a fully normal rural or even SUBURBAN life, no matter how well-done the fic itself is, I just kinda feel like that's just not a very good translation of his character, especially when it's usually standing next to a MUCH better translation of Tim. Like, it just ain't the vibes, you feel me? I cannot TELL you how many times I've seen a real good and lovingly-crafted Tim take standing directly next to a quickly-scribbled "this is not even recognizably Kon" take, and it just takes me RIGHT out of even really, REALLY good fics/art/anything.

Kon also never gets to be the mermaid, in my experience. Or the vampire. Or whatever magical creature or whatever in human/magical creature AUs. And like . . . guys I am so sorry I KNOW it's fun to give Tim a mermaid tail, I LOVE giving Tim a mermaid tail, but the whole point of Tim Drake is that he is a totally normal dude who is just Like That(tm), he would be Like That(tm) if he had been born in Star or Metropolis or CENTRAL, and he was like that WITHOUT any dead parents. The dead parents came after, for Tim!! So if you make TIM a half-angel vampire while KON is the totally normal dude, you EXPLAIN why Tim is Like That(tm) and Tim Drake quite frankly should defy all explanation.

Anyway be the change you want to see in the world; I def need to write more homunculous!Kon or maybe the selkie or centaur concepts that have been percolating in my head or maybe just some new weird fun thing about Tim "Totally Normal Dude" Drake and the supernatural bad bitch he pulled by being [ FEASIBLE EXPLANATION NOT FOUND ].

( and how LONG have you been sixteen, Conner?? )

[nxttheendxfthestxry]

Nick snorts at that, nodding in agreement and pointing to Nari with his free hand, squeezing her hand back lightly. He nods quickly in agreement with her and looks back to the nurse, smiling at what she says. "Well, we really appreciate it. Assuming a certain friend of ours is the way that she is, next time she's in the hospital we'll recommend if she can that she requests you for her nurse."

His head picks up at a flurry of sound outside, chuckling to himself. "Incoming."

Jackie bounds in in a moment, closing the door behind her, "Sorry, Nurse Aila-- Nari! How's it going, how's everything, everyone?" She beams at the couple, setting her hands on her hips. She'd just finished getting in some of her intern hours, and she was dead exhausted but too wired to even think about resting, she'd been counting the minutes waiting since she'd found out Nari had checked in.

Nick chuckles. "Hi, Jackie."

"Understand it entirely," Aila laughed. "Fergus versus onion rings has become a game."

Nari snorted. "That I'd like to see." She squeezed Nick's hand, smiling. "Thank you, Nurse Aila. For... not writing it down."

Aila waved her off, chuckling. "I understand secrecy. I do. I'll be in the delivery room, and I'll do what I can to keep any..." She waved her hands around a bit. "... disturbances related to it contained."

[bbyjackie]

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒... 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒 — ♡

one piece social media feat: strawhats special appearance: whitebeard pirates, heart pirates, kid pirates

》 in honour of barbie!! (+ oppenheimer)

♡ liked by nefertari_vivi, ace and 10.4k others

_ynln: barbie girls in the new world 🎀💄

[music: Beauty And A Beat - Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj ♫]

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, lovenami, theroronoa.zoro, nicorobin, nefertari_vivi, sogekingg.usopp, blackleg.sanji, jinbe, ilovecottoncandychopper, S0U1K1NGBR00K, FRAAANKY

FRAAANKY: LETS GOOOOOOOOO 🔥🔥

nefertari_vivi: so happy to meet up with you guys again!! 💕

↳ _ynln: we missed u!

↳ lovenami: lets do it again!

↳ blackleg.sanji: YOU WERE SO BEAUTIFUL VIVI 💞💘❣️💕🥰😍

lovenami: we look so good omg ‼️

ace: CAN'T BELIEVE WE RAN INTO EACHOTHER

↳ _ynln: EEE IM SO GLAD YOU JOINED US!!

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HEHE IT WAS SO FUNNY WHEN U FELL ASLEEP ACE 😂

sogekingg.usopp: BEST DRESSED CREW IN THE NEW WORLD

trafalgar_d.law: it looked like you all copied doflamingo's style

↳ _ynln: PLEASE DELETE THIS B4 HE SEES IT I DONT WANT TO DIE🙏🙏

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HEHAHHA TRA GUY YOURE RIGHT

↳ doflamingo_: Looking good @_ynln

↳ _ynln: you're old enough to be my dad 😐

↳ doflamingo_: Add a dy to that

↳ theroronoa.zoro: more like you should dy off 😭😭 (liked by trafalgar_d.law, _ynln, sogekingg.usopp)

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: fire song choice (liked by _ynln, theroronoa.zoro)

♡ liked by marco_o, iampops and 14.3k others

ace: ran into these losers 😪

tagged: _ynln, p1rateking_luffy

marco_o: so when you said you couldn't do cleaning duty, you were out watching barbie

↳ ace: And I'm bad like the Barbie (Barbie) I'm a doll, but I still wanna party (party) Pink 'Vette like I'm ready to bend (bend) I'm a ten, so I pull in a Ken

↳ marco_o: you need to be put down

_ynln: omg i made it on THE FIRE FIST ACE'S ig?! 🫢🫢

↳ ace: YOU WERE LITERALLY IN THE LAST PHOTO DUMP

↳ _ynln: NO WAY YOU POST ME IN THE SAME DUMP AS LUFFY AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY W THAT 🤨🤨

↳ ace: mb you're the no.1 fr 😌🤞

p1rateking_luffy: LERS DO A MOVIE NIGHT AGUIB WIEH SABU TOO

↳ saaaa_bo: real, if that's what you were trying to say

iampops: Sons, let's go watch barbie together

↳ ace: pops i ain't even gonna lie, there's no way we can bring you to the theatre and not have the marines after us 😭😭

↳ _ynln: ace YOU'RE the liability, i literally ran into the marines and they were offering me DOUBLE your bounty to turn you in

↳ lovenami: AND YOU DIDN'T DO IT?

♡ liked by nojiko.ko, blackleg.sanji and 6.9k others

lovenami: glad this fit is boutta be on my new bounty poster 🤞

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, _ynln, nicorobin, nefertari_vivi

_ynln: nami nahh 💀 we were running for our LIVES

↳ themarineofficial: my mum told me to chase after my dreams (liked by _ynln, FRAAANKY, theroronoa.zoro)

↳ sogekingg.usopp: WHO TF HACKED INTO THE OFFICIAL MARINE IG LMFAOO 😭😭

↳ lovenami: scariest notification

trafalgar_d.law: luffy? more like goofy. why's he trying to rizz up the camera man like that

p1rateking_luffy: Tra guy what does rizz mean

↳ trafalgar_d.law: RIZZ: Another word for spitting game/how good you are with pulling and sustaining bitches. [Urban Dictionary]

↳ p1rateking_luffy: I GOT THAT ILLEGAL RIZZ 🤪🤪😇🙏🔥🔥

↳ _ynln: LUFFY WHAT

↳ lovenami: ?!!

↳ jinbe: ?

↳ trafalgar_d.law: wtaf

↳ p1rateking_luffy: Ace told me to say it :((

↳ saaaa_bo: ACE STOP RUINING LUFFY'S DIGITAL FOOTPRINT

↳ ace: GUYS OMG DONT HATE ON ME TBF HE PULLED HANCOCK AND SHES LIKE 30

blackleg.sanji: MY BEAUTIFUL GODDESSES IN ONE FRAME HOW DID I EVER GET THIS LUCKY TO BE BORN INTO THIS LIFE 💓💖💘🧡💕💖💗❤️

↳ p1rateking_luffy: I'm in the photo too!

↳ blackleg.sanji: sadly.

↳ _ynln: 😭

♡ liked by sogekingg.usopp, BONBONBONCLAY and 12.7k others

p1rateking_luffy: Last nighT was fun

tagged: ace, theroronoa.zoro, _ynln, blackleg.sanji

ace: WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO ME?

↳ _ynln: dude you were GONE 😭

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HAAHGAHA DID YIUO SEE THE THINGFW WE DFEW ON YOURE FACE

↳ trafalgar_d.law: ever feel bad about yourself? think about luffy's spelling (liked by saaaa_bo)

lovenami: WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING TO YN AND ZORO IN THE SECOND PHOTO

↳ lovenami: WAIT WHEN WAS THE PHOTO EVEN TAKEN?

↳ p1rateking_luffy: Ryght after the marnjnes follqweod you g0uys instead

↳ sogekingg.usopp: aint no way i was fighting for life and these rats were having the time of their life 🫤🫤

↳ _ynln: 😝

↳ p1rateking_luffy: 😝

♡ liked by killerrr, SOU1K1NGBR00K and 10.1k others

_ynln: strawhats take on oppenheimer next 🖤

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, lovenami, theroronoa.zoro, nicorobin, nefertari_vivi, sogekingg.usopp, blackleg.sanji, jinbe, ilovecottoncandychopper, S0U1K1NGBR00K, FRAAANKY

themarinesofficial: strawhat ladies and roronoa zoro i will need to arrest you for stealing my heart ❤️

↳ _ynln: LMFAO UM IM CRYING??!!

↳ nicorobin: This is slightly uncomfortable

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: LMFAO THE WAY ZORO IS INCLUDED AHHAA

↳ blackleg.sanji: BACK OFF FROM THEM 🫵

↳ theroronoa.zoro: just crucify me again

sogekingg.usopp: OKAY BUT FR WHO HACKED INTO THEIR ACC 😭😭

↳ FRAAANKY: nah people in the marines just getting bored fr

ace: YOOO LETS MEET UP (liked by _ynln)

↳ p1rateking_luffy: @saaaa_bo COME TOO

[goatpaste]

Ain't it fun living in the real world? ('Cause the world don't orbit around you) Ain't it good? (Ain't it good?) Being all alone Don't go crying to your mama (Run to your mama) 'Cause you're on your own in the real world (Don't go crying) Don't go crying to your mama (To your mama) 'Cause you're on your own in the real world

Been thinkin bout I Saw the Tv Glow for the last couple weeks...

[Commission Prices][Etsy][Buy me a Kofi]

[mspopstar]

Okay! Now what would happen if you locked Kirby, Shadow Kirby, Keeby and the other Kirbys in the same room?

KE: "Kirby! Hello!!! Where are we?!? Is this some kind of game!!!"

KB: "Ah, an' Keeby's finally awaken."

SK: "Took you long enough, now that everyone has arisen. We can begin to investigate our trapping."

KU: "What the hell is goin' on here anyways! I was busy takin' a nap and now I'm here, talk about rude, right? Right, Kirby?"

KB: "Right, Kusa. Well, I'm not too sure about what's goin' on myself... It's a bit odd isn't it."

AKAA: "..."

SK: "Do you think we've been kidnapped?"

KB: "Heeeh? I don't know? Probably. I'm makin' guesses but I can't think of anyone who'd do this."

SKB: "What do you mean?"

KB: "Bein' in a white room doesn't really strike as my greatest Nightmare so it can't be the Nightmare Wizard either. We're awake and if he had a evil plan he would make it way more extravagant..''

SKB: "Anyone else that piques your thoughts?"

KB: "Can't be Yin-Yarn, we're not made out of yarn and this room does NOT feel like pants. Necrodeus can't be behind this 'cause he'd also just kill us all too. Can't be Taranza, he's too preoccupied with Sectonia and he'd rather torture me for days on end than kill us... Probably wouldn't involve any of ya'll. Susie... Susie wouldn't do this kind of thing I think and if it was her we'd already have broken out of this cage. Gryll would rather challenge ya' than trap ya' and I haven't eaten Salt, Pepper and the other one so I haven't a clue why'd I have that stinkin' witch's ire... Kracko isn't strong enough to pull something like this off....Neither is Whispy"

KU: "Woah, that sounds like... A LOT! I'm gonna take a nap, so..."

SKB: "Any other ideas, Kirby?"

KB: "Can't be Dark Crafter cause... We're all smooth. Hyness is out of the question, he promised me he wouldn't do anythin' evil. Marx is the same as Nightmare, this too borin' for him to do. Too weak too."

SKB: "How... How many people hate you?"

KB: "A lot. Ah. Hate... This is Zero ain't it."

SKB: "Wh..Who?"

KB: "No, no, no... Agh. He's... He's like Dark Mind but actually a threat! Your world's Zero's him I think. Anyways, Dark Mind wasn't that big of a deal but Zero... Zero's a big deal. I hope it ain't him. But... we're in a white room. Thinkin' about it now this seems like somethin' he'd do. Guy lives off of makin' people suffer so trappin' us in a prison with no food, water, or anything really makes sense. He's literally gonna bore us to death an' probably feed off of the resultin' sadness from that... Awh, an' he's probably gone an' messed up Pop Star while we're here. Crap."

SKB: "...I hope it isn't that but let's calm down first."

SKB: "You, yellow one. Why are you covered in blood? What do you remember last before coming here?"

KB: "It's Keeby, Shadow!"

KEB: "Hihihi! I had a really fun cage match!!! Knuckle Joe said he'd take me out for a huuuuge super mega, ultra deluxe, beef bowl with ramen if I won so I went all out! Guess I got a lil' too excited cause then I went an' passed out an' now I'm here."

KB: "Ah, sounds like ya' won. Good job!"

SKB: "Affirmative. Here I appeared closing my eyes during yet another arduous training session with Meta Knight."

KB: "Eh? Nuh-uh! He was doing his afternoon patrol-y thinー"

SKB: "My Meta Knight, you ingrate."

KU: "...I was playin' around at the Dedede Resort Casino. Y'know, pinball and then I decided to take a nap by the beach after a hefty loss. Then I woke up here. Well. Wake me up once you've figured out an escape plan an' all that."

KB: "Awh, that sounds like a lotta fun, ya' have to invite me sometime. I found myself here cause Gooey licked my face to get at a fish I had and I had to rub my face real hard to get all that slobbery stuff off. When I opened my eyes, I was here!"

SKB: "That's it? you were licked by that infernal pet of yours and then you closed your eyes and that's how you appeared in this room?"

KB: "Heey, Gooey's not my pet he's my friend! What about it?"

SKB: "Well, Kusa and Keeby found themselves here after sleeping. You and I simply...blinked. Akaabi over there... I don't know. What I'm getting at is that there's no connection."

KB: "Geez, you know now that I'm thinkin' about it... If I had known we'd all meet up like this I'd have packed a picnic basket or lunch or somethin'."

KEB: "Yummy!!!"

SKB: "By the stars, Kirby, you're right... This is terrible."

KB: "Heh? What, ya' don't like picnics?"

SKB: "No, you daft fool. Food. We're going to starve in here."

KU: "GAH, DON'T EVEN SAY THAT!!!"

SIX HOURS LATER...

AKAA: "here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here--"

SKB: "Akaabi, please."

KEB: "Loop numba' 3236, loop numba' 3237, loop numba' 3238, loop numba' 3239, loop numba' 3240, loop numba' 3241, loop numba' 3242, loop numba' 3243, loop numba' 3244, loop numba' 3245, loop numba' 3246, loop numba' 3247, loop numba' 3248, loop numba' 3249, loop numba' 3250, loop numba' 3251, loop numba' 3252, loop numba' 3253, loop numba' 3254, loop numba' 3255, loop numba' 3256, loop numba' 3257, loop numba' 3258, loop numba' 3259, loop numba' 3260, loopー""

SKB: "Keeby, please."

SKB: "Kirby...?" KB: "Yes, Shadow?" SKB: "We're not dead, right?" KB: "No... I don't even think that's possible, right?" SKB: "Everything and anything will inevitably die."

KB: "...Huh. Probably not. Why're askin'?"

SKB: "Well..."

KB: "Hhmm?"

KEB: "ーnumba' 3261, loop numba' 3262, loop numba' 3263, loop numba' 3264, loop numba' 3265, loop numba' 3266, loop numba' 3267, loop numba' 3268, loop numba' 3269, loop numba' 3270, loop numba' 3271, loop numba' 3272, loop numba' 3273, loop numba' 3274, loop numba' 3275, loop numba' 3276, loop numba' 3277, loop numba' 3278, loop numba' 3279, loop numba' 3280, loop numba' 3281, loop numba' 3282, loop numba' 3283, loop numba' 3284, loop numba' 3285ー"

KU: "SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOORREEEEEEEEEEー"

AKAA: "here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta hereー"

SKB: "I have done a lot of terrible things, and I have a sinking feeling that this is my personal Hell. Maybe when I was training with Meta Knight, instead of dodging properly, he halved me. Thus, for my slothful behavior and negligence leading to the harm of many before you showed up... This, this is my punishment. If so, I give my regards to Lord Morpho. She truly has outdone herself this time."

KB: "Hmmn. I don't know. This doesn't seem like a punishment, don't it?"

SKB: "That, that right there is why I'm on edge and close to losing my mind! Stop it!"

KB: "Heeh? What'd I do!?"

SKB: "How can you be so... so calm?!"

KB: "Hm. It's a little bad, yes, but I'm surrounded by friends and I always manage to get out of these sit-chyuu-waytions, don't I?"

AKAA: "here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here I gotta get outta here ー"

KEB: "numba' 3286, loop numba' 3287, loop numba' 3288, loop numba' 3289, loop numba' 3290, loop numba' 3291, loop numba' 3292, loop numba' 3293, loop numba' 3294, loop numba' 3295, loop numba' 3296, loop numba' 3297, loop numba' 3298, loop numba' 3299, loop numba' 3300, loop numba' 3301, loop numba' 3302, loop numba' 3303, loop numba' 3304, loop numー"

SKB: "AKAABI, KEEBY, CUT IT OUT!!!"

SKB: "Is it impossible for you still yourself for more than a second you spaz?!?"

AKAA: "...No."

SKB: "And you, be quiet! Nobody wants to hear that. I tolerated you licking off your own blood and babbling like an animal but if you continue that jabbering, you'll see a real animal!"

KEB: "Hii－! Scary!"

KB: "Shadow, calm down."

SKB: "Don't refer to me as Shadow, refer to me as Kirby! I hate this! Stuck with a bunch of lesser beings!"

KB: "...Well, I can't do that cause I'm Kirby. So calm down, okay?"

SKB: "H-How can I? I'm trapped with you and them and I'm stuck, and I can't go home a-and andー"

KB: "Shadow, it's gonna be fine. I'm sure of it! Totally sure! 100% positive!"

SKB: "How?"

KB: "Cause I belive in myself and my selves!"

SKB: "It's BELIEVE! BELIEVE YOU ASS!!! I'm not YOURS either!"

KB: "Anyways, chillax Shadow. I've figured out a way to get out of here!

SKB: "...."

KEB: "Ooh, ooh! Me too!"

KB: "Aren't ya' gonna ask how?"

SKB: "...How?"

KB: "It's a bit of a hunch, and I feel like dumb for not realizin' earlier but couldn't we just warp outta here?"

SKB: Can... Can the Warp Star even make it here? Wherever here is?"

KB: "I dunno, better to try than do nothin'! Plus, ya' gotta remember. The farther we are, the faster it is! Dedede said it can build up an huuuge amount of speed but then he started talkin' maths so I tuned it out!"

SKB: "Well... If that is the case, I suppose it could work. Go ahead and call it."

KB: "WAAAAARRRRRRPPPPPP STARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

KB: "Now we wait."

SKB: "Wait, wait, wait! ...Kirby."

KB: "Yeah, Shadow?"

SKB: "Correct me if I'm wrong but... If your Dedede said that the Warp Star increases with speed and force relative to the distance of the summoner, right?"

KB: "Geez, what now Shadow? Can't ya' be happy and wait patiently?"

SKB: "No. It could kill us all. You know how your Warp Star constantly explodes when you land because you don't decrease its fv? Let's say you're summoning it from...20 miles away. That's fine cause the combined velocity and force wouldn't be dangerous.... That'd be like... F⋅v≈1.2075×10^9, right? Anyways, not too big of a deal! Small explosion, very managable."

KB: "Heeeeh?"

SKB: "The force and velocity of your Warp Star expoentially increases relative to the distance of its summon or target, building up lots of energy. That's why they're so dangerous but so quick. So, if we all are far FAR far away. Depending on where we are... if it's then the force and speed of the Warp Star will increase with such an exponential level strength that once it makes impact it will be like standing right next to hundreds of thousands of Bombers exploding all at once."

KB: "Oh I'm sure it'll be fine. Plus maybe it'll break this prison! Win-win!"

SKB: "With us in it."

KB: "P'shaw! It'll be fine! I've been through worse!

SKB: "Kirby."

KUU: "Whaat? We're still here? Lame. What'd I miss"

SKB: "Kirby here is going to harness the infinite power of exponential force of a Warp Star and kill us all"

KB: "Nuh-uh! Shadow's bein' a sourpuss cause he couldn't save the day like he wanted. I'm about to break us out."

KUU: "Well, how long will it take? I'm gettin' sleepy again. Hungry too."

KB: "...I dunno..."

SKB: "Well, there is a positive. It's gonna come here quick. By this point, it will eventually exceed the speed of light and a blazar jet. Perhaps more even. You probably don't know, but it theoretically can travel between dimensions so..."

KB: "So... 'Kirby, you're plan might work?' is what ya' mean to say?"

SKB: "Yes! Yes it will work, it will work and then we will be disentigrated as a celestial object makes impact with the force of travelling past the speed of light."

TEN MINUTES LATER...

AKAA: "Do you all hear that?"

KB, SKB, KEB, KUU, AKAA: "?"

*Piii-------------------------------------------------------!!!!!"

*Krrkk...k..*

KB: "Yay, it's here!!!"

SKB: "..."

KEB: "AHAHAHAAH!!!! BRING IT ONNNNNNN!!!!"

AKAA: "WE'RE GONNA GET OUTTA HERE!!!!"

KUU: "Is it gettin' hot in he-"

A̴̟͇̞͈̘̱̟̙̗͑̎̓̎̎̊̇̐Ȧ̵͚̘̗͈͓̘͓Å̴͈̝̀͌̀͗̅͊̅̚͝ͅA̶̛͕̠͜A̷̗̙͕̪̻̭̞͕̗͌À̷̡̒̑̅̅̂̉͊̂̑A̶̧̠̱̲̝͎͐̈̂̉́̚Ȁ̴̡͘A̸̢̼̻̲̫̖͚͗̔͐͊͂͗̏͐͌A̷̗͛̏̐͂̉̋̿̎̋̌A̴͕͙̩͚̩̩͖̍͌̋̅̉̇̈͂́A̸̮͎̲̭͍̫͈͆͒͆̈̚͝Ą̶̩͈̱̟̱̖͖̉Ã̸̛͇̗͖̳̣̩̂͊̍͊Â̷̰̪͍̻̳Ḁ̵̌̑̄̎͗̔A̸͕͍̦̲͙̼̳̼͔̽̐͝A̵̧̢̺͉̩̺̎͌̏͛̄Å̴͔̯̽̈́̉͌͊͝Ả̴̙̎͜Ȁ̵̛͇̰̟̠̮͖̗̅͊̔̇͂̑Ȧ̶̧̰̦̮̞̭̮͕̳Ä̴͓͚̥̪̤̤́̆̈́͐̈́̐̏͝ͅH̸͚͍̱̿́̋Ḩ̶̧̫̒̒̒̚͝H̸̝̪̮̜̭͗͐͋̑̋̓̚Ḩ̷̮̳̲̤͙͚͇̇͋̓̔̐Ḫ̶̻̩̬̲͇̠͊͑͊̈́̆̍͑̾͠ͅḦ̸̛̙̱̎̽H̸̙̹̒̐̒̾Ḩ̶̛H̸̙̰͉̱̘̰̘̙̭̣̑͊͌̓̾̓̓̏̌A̸̧̨̛̰̪̰̲͈͗̉̓́̑̾͘͠͝A̴͚͔͋̀̓͘͝͠Ą̸̛͕̞̮̰̖͈͊͒̾̀̕A̶̢̡̢̡̞͔̪͔͈̲͋̈́̇̔͘À̵̢̩̱̰̙͔͆͜A̴̖͈͉̟̝̣̠͋́A̴̢̦̲̐

???? LATER...

[the-most-humble-blog]

If the Scent of Southern Peach Pie Doesn’t Override His Rational Thought...He Ain't a Foodie.

Let’s cut out the pretentious food argument.

If you’re a woman, and your man can:

Smell you up close

Clock your natural essence

Get a whiff of post-gym, post-pants, post-reality feminine funk

…and still casually return to scrolling TikToks?

You’re not in a relationship. You’re in a polite hostage situation.

Because biologically, chemically, spiritually—

The scent of a full-grown female homo sapien is supposed to make a man’s prefrontal cortex unplug like a refrigerator in a blackout.

If it doesn’t?

You’re not soft.

You’re sterile.

You’re not adored.

You’re aromatically irrelevant.

🧠 Let’s Break It Down — Science Style

Your scent is not just sweat.

It’s not just body heat.

It’s not just laundry that gave up halfway.

It’s a chemical assault.

A biological telegram.

A pheromonal throat punch to the rational mind of any man near enough to breathe without filter.

And when it’s real—

When it’s adult, unapologetic, untamed—

It speaks to his DNA like an old war song.

“This is not a princess.

This is not a sweetheart.

This is a reproductive omega unit sent to end your independence and turn you into a provider with a mortgage.”

🧨 The Scent Shift: From Princess to Predator

Every man knows this moment.

She looks small.

She sounds sweet.

She wears perfume.

She crosses her legs like a Disney nun.

And then she walks past—

In leggings.

With no barrier.

And suddenly he’s hit with a fog bank of heated femininity that smells like both:

The end of his logic

And the beginning of his next three children

This moment is not cute.

It’s cataclysmic.

It’s the moment his dick says:

“Hey brain? You’re done here. We’re in charge now.”

🤯 The Scent of a Grown-Ass Woman Is a Revelation

Every man makes fun of it.

But every man remembers the first time he caught a raw, unfiltered, musty blast of real feminine adult funk—

And realized:

“I’ve been sniffing girls.

This is a woman.”

It’s not gross.

It’s not bad.

It’s overwhelming.

It’s the scent that reminds him:

She has hormones, not hobbies.

She has ovaries, not opinions.

She has cycles, not social media aesthetics.

This is the olfactory sucker punch that makes a man reevaluate his life and ask—

“Am I ready for this level of responsibility?”

Because that is what her scent communicates:

“You playin’? I’m built for extinction events.”

🥵 If You Don’t Understand This... You’ve Never Smelled It

This ain’t floral body spray.

This ain’t VS Mist.

This ain’t the soap that lied about pH balance.

This is:

Skin that’s lived

Sweat that’s earned

A cooch that’s fully clocked into the present moment

It’s the smell of:

Evolution

Fertility

Ancestral risk

It’s not pretty.

It’s holy.

And if your man can catch it and still casually pick at chicken nuggets?

He’s not yours. He’s just waiting for your period to be over so he can break up clean.

💬 Why Does This Matter?

Because if your scent doesn’t trigger his animal,

then he’s not in this for your soul.

He might like you.

He might respect you.

But he’s not obsessed with you.

A man in love with your scent is a man who:

Can’t focus when you enter the room

Needs to smell your pillow when you’re gone

Gets flashbacks when you walk past in shorts

Would start a war if someone else touched your laundry

🧴 Scented Submission vs. Sterile Safety

Do not sterilize yourself into irrelevance.

We live in a world of:

Scent erasers

Feminine wipes

Loofah genocide

Vagina paranoia

And in the process, women have forgotten:

Men aren’t turned on by clean.

We’re turned on by human.

Real feminine scent is:

A hormonal handshake

A chemical come-hither

A musky mid-day reminder that the divine is sweaty and unapologetic

🧠 TL;DR

Your scent should override his logic

If it doesn’t, he’s checked out

Musty doesn’t mean dirty — it means real

Feminine scent is not perfume — it’s power

If your scent doesn’t make him pause, you’re dating a body, not a beast

💣 CALL TO ACTION

🔁 Reblog if you’ve ever been mind-controlled by a smell you couldn’t explain

💬 Comment if you’ve ever walked past your man and watched him spiritually malfunction

📩 DM if you secretly know your post-leg-day scent is what made him propose

🧼 Share this if your man has ever looked like he just saw God after pulling your leggings off

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:

This post is satire, biology class, pheromone theory, locker room gospel, olfactory theology, and constitutionally protected performance art.

It does not promote filth.

It promotes freedom.

If you’re offended, you’ve never loved anyone enough to bury your face in their funk and whisper, “Don’t shower yet.”

This post is for the primal.

The honest.

The scent-blind believers in curated lies can scroll past.

The rest of us will be over here—

breathing heavy and thanking evolution for sweat glands.

[wtftarot]

How can you navigate your life from here on?

Thank you, @lifeofaie for suggesting this reading, I really loved the idea.

Listen, I fuckin love a good road trip, ok? And navigating on a road trip ain't that different from navigating your life. Great music and shitty snacks. Wrong turns and detours that end up being half the fun and the whole story later. Arriving later than you planned or having plans changed entirely. How it always seems like the more you try to plan and control things the more they go off the rails. What do you need to keep in mind on this road trip called life? (yes I know how dorky that was, nope I don't care, yes all of these are gonna be heavy on road trip metaphors) Consider this reading, stopping and asking a local for directions and I promise not to lead you to the den of a serial killer. What is your inner compass saying? Is it time to make a rest stop? Let's fuck around and find out.

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Road Stretching On, The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere, or the Road to Ol' Kentucky and head on to your reading

The Road That Stretches On

The Tower, Seven/ Swords Rx and the Magician on the bottom of the deck.

This reading is HEAVY. Some of y'all who came to this reading are dealing with some heavy mental shit. I am not a mental health professional, please seek one out. Tarot is awesome and helpful but it is not therapy.

Take a breath. I'm so fuckin serious right now. You need to breathe and clear your mind even for a second. Don't ya just love how many people come to readings and then ignore the simplest advice given? To just take a breath? ( I love y'all, but some of y'all need a lil call out every now and then) The reason why I'm pushing y'all to stop and breathe is cause y'all's mind never. fuckin. stops. does it? Never. I had to restart this reading three times, cause I just kept getting wrapped up in y'all's anxiety spiral. And, I know it's hard but if you never make a conscious decision to try and slow down and give yourself a second, it's not gonna happen. Human brains are mostly auto-pilot and if you don't try and take the reins every once in a while it'll just keep doing what it's doing. Y'all are incredibly overwhelmed by making decisions for your future. It's like you see your future like the picture you chose, a road stretching on forever that can lead to anywhere depending on the turns you make but for you there's something that could be lurking in each turn. Something you're not seeing and that is terrifying to you. Now the main contender here looks to be anxiety about the state of the world, climate change, wars, pollution, famine, natural disasters, and on and on. Like y'all seem to be thinking what's the point, everything's going to shit. Listen, I'm gonna try to be gentle but when I tell y'all I'm very passionate about this, I am downplaying so fuckin hard. A lot of people fall into this overwhelm, it's not your fault. Governments and corporations put a shit ton of effort into keeping us feeling overwhelmed, cause overwhelmed people are too drained to put up a real fight. The point of trying is you being happy. That is worth it. The point is you can spread that joy. The point is to make a difference while you can. The point is that yeah, the world may be going to hell in a handbasket and you're just one person but you are a whole ass person. Who doesn't have to take this shit lying down. You want to live your life but are terrified of what might happen if you do. You feel like the world is a scary place and it can be sometimes, but you're so scared of truly stepping into the world, you never let yourself be or do much. It's like y'all are super fuckin excited for the road trip but are so scared of what may be around any turn, you just keep going on the same road letting it take you wherever it does. To get anywhere you want to go you have to make some choices. Yea, they may not always turn out how you planned but here's the thing: You will be okay. What you need to do to navigate your life? I'm sorry, y'all are gonna hate this advice but trust yourself. Sweetie, you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for, hell you may not have any knowledge of your full capabilities cause you've never let yourself reach them. Tarot readings can help you navigate, but all the readings in the world won't help you get anywhere if you never put your foot on the gas.

random ass vibes: I dunno if y'all forgot to eat but like I've been ravenous this whole reading, The cartoon Roadrunner, venus, tea, sunburn, flowers, 666

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere

The Star, the Five/Pentacles Rx and the High Priestess on the bottom of the deck.

Listen, honey. You can handle this. And you know you can. You're listening to your intuition, learning to trust yourself if you don't already. Y'all are navigating your life, you may have rough moments as we all do but y'all are learning to handle those moments with grace. I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out why y'all are even at this reading, seems like the topic of this reading ain't something y'all need help with. And it ain't, y'all are killing it in this area. The reason y'all are here? Y'all need some encouragement. Maybe need is the wrong word, cause y'all are doing fuckin awesome either way. Deserve. That's the word. Y'all deserve some encouragement. The road you're on may be unconventional or the people around you very strongly disagree with. Or maybe they just strongly disagree with you, your identity as a person. (I dunno where "strongly disagree" is coming from but it keeps popping up in my head?) I feel like y'all have actively had people put you down and were able to power through and encourage yourselves, so you may not need others to encourage you. BUT we all deserve to be encouraged, just cause you can power through without supportive voices doesn't mean that you should have to. SO GET READY FOR SOME CHANNELED ENCOURAGEMENT MOTHERFUCKER! Y'all have been doing a fuckin amazing job moving away from shitty past situations and are not fucking giving yourselves enough credit. Yes, even if it was "just" some mental blocks. Oh, "just" a mental block are you kidding me? Do you know how hard getting over your own mental bullshit is?? Y'all are over here, learning to parkour over your mental bullshit like a goddamn ninja, acting like it's no big deal. Sweetie, that's huge, you do realize that? To be honest with yourself, call yourself on your bullshit and then do something about it? Step fuckin one of that is daunting. And I'm hearing that y'all were able to get through faster than even your guides were expecting. Honey, how powerful are you? Not only that, but y'all are learning to argue with your self-deprecating thoughts. Asking them, who gives a shit what they have to say? And taking all the energy you used to put into pushing yourself down and using it to build yourself up. That's SO fuckin badass, y'all! Talk about fuckin alchemizing shit. Y'all saw how much time and energy it was taking to keep yourself small and hurt, thought: Wonder what would happen if I used that to build myself up instead? And then you went and did it and ITS FUCKIN GORGIOUS. The blessings are gonna start rolling in with this new energy, but you already knew that. Cause motherfucker YOU are the blessing! Y'all are really embodying your own power and strength and are KICKING ASS. The last message is to let yourself rest, y'all are doing a lot. So give yourself a break, let yourself sleep in a bit later. Set aside time to just chill, you won't lose your progress while you sleep.

random ass vibes: receiving roses, worms, gardening, astronomy designs on clothes, 18, hide and seek

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The Road to Ol' Kentucky

Shout out to all my fellow Kentuckians! How y'all doing?

The Moon Rx, The Queen/Wands, the Page/Cups Rx and the Five/Wands Rx on the back of the deck

Y'all are being called to really embody yourself and your power moving forward. It seems like y'all not only have it in your head that you're a Page when you're a Queen (queen energy, not gender). You're wrong about the whole damn suit. Others may have convinced you you're being sensitive when they're being an asshole and you're pissed about it. (As if letting people talk shit about you is "weak" right?) Y'all think you're the negative aspects of the Cups: Overly emotional, flakey, manipulative, disorganized, and self-centered. When the truth is you're the positive aspects of the Wands: Passionate, creative, driven, confident, and strong-willed. Y'all are really fuckin hard on yourselves, okay? Others may have been intimidated by your strengths and convinced you they were your weaknesses. If y'all have been feeling stuck, this is why, alright? You are stuck cause you've been told that the way to get unstuck IS the reason you're stuck. Think of it like this, y'all are an airplane, convinced by cars that flying is your biggest weakness, trying to figure out why you never seem to get anywhere. Airplanes can roll around, sure but they're MADE to fly. It's time to do some hard thinking, probably back to when you were a kid. What were the things you loved and pursued, how did you pursue them and what bullshit did others say about it? Like, did you get super focused on an activity you were doing, forget about choirs or some shit, and then be called irresponsible and lazy? When you wanted something, were you the type to push and work towards it, then be called stubborn or relentless or annoying when others decided they wanted you to do something else? Because there are some good qualities y'all have that are how you're supposed to show up in the world that you're not letting yourself embody. To be clear, I'm not talking about being told you're acting like an asshole when you were, in fact acting like an asshole. I'm talking about strengths you had that were demonized to you and in an effort to be a better person you stopped using. Now they've atrophied and you've gotta work them out to get them back. Cause, listen the typical way of navigation ain't gonna work for you. Y'all can continue to roll around and try to get where you wanna go, but it's gonna be slow and a billion times harder. You ever seen an airplane trying to go down a road through town? Think a sec on on how hard that would be. Cause that's you, right now. There are no road maps for the sky, ya know? Y'all are charting your own path. You need to stop trying to make yourself follow the road map for life that others are using. It's not gonna work for you, cause it was never meant to. Y'all are on an unconventional path, the only way forward is to embrace it.

random ass vibes: Back To The Future, coffee, night owl, finding your people, reds oranges and yellows, clouds, libra, cats. Thelma and Louise

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[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi! can i request ken x (male) reader who’s from texas and breaking ken’s idea of the patriarchy (mostly the realities of cowboy life lol) thank you!!

"Now what're you supposed to be, a cowboy or somethin'? Because it looks like you're goin' to a fashion show upstate."

Blinking owlishly, Ken spun around on his heels, coming face-to-face with you. He looked at your clothing up and down, noting you had a hat similar to his, along with ripped jeans, cowboy boots, and a buttoned plaid shirt.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion, not seeing an apparent difference.

Nevertheless, he realized you were another human male who was trying to talk to him, and he was excited! This was his big chance to learn more about the patriarchy of the Real World!

But he didn't wanna let his eagerness show too much, so he leaned against a nearby pillar, keeping the books tucked against his side.

"Nah, I ain't goin' to no fashion show....partner..." He made a poor attempt at mimicking your accent, which he noted was heavily Southern, and it took all your willpower not to laugh your ass off.

Yet you couldn't help chuckling anyways, which made the blond pout as he adjusted the brim of his hat. "Awh I'm only teasin'." You shook your head. "I will say it does fit ya pretty good. Haven't seen anything like that back in Texas."

"...oh really? Thanks!" He put a big smile back on, trying to sound cool and casual. "Sounds like a fun place. I'm just here..seeing what this world's all about...getting accustomed to the patriarchy. Man, I wish Barbie told me about-"

"Hold on..." You stopped him in his tracks, being perplexed by several things he just said. "What about the patriarchy? You act as though it's a lifestyle-"

"Is it not? Because I see it all around us!" He spread his arms out. "It's incredible! Everything's backwards but yet...I'm just amazed! This world caters to us men!" Then he stepped closer, showing you the books in his hands depicting studies of horses and patriarchy, a sparkle in his eye. "Look, these books have already taught me so much!"

You blinked, taking one of them and frowning as you recognized the barcode as being from the school your cousin attended. "Ya realize you stole these from a school library, right-?"

"Back in Barbieland, we Kens had none of this stuff!!" He ignored your remark, yanking the book from your hands as he continued to babble on and on and how "awesome" the patriarchy is while pointing to a nearby horse statue.

He's acting as though this was the first time he's ever heard of it, firmly believing that it's all about men and horses.

That would've convinced you that this guy was either insane or living under a rock all his life....had he not mentioned "Barbieland", "Barbie", and "Ken".

'As in...the dolls my little cousins played with?' You pondered. 'Well it would certainly explain the outlandish outfit..and how it doesn't look like any lights are on upstairs...'

"So.." You cleared your throat, he was quick to shut up and let you continue, blinking as you offered your hand. "Before I forget...the name's [y/n]. A pleasure to meet ya."

He studied your gesture intensely, before putting forth his manliest handshake possible, his eyes lighting up when you laughed and complimented his strong grip. "And I'm Ken, the pleasure's all mine."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Well, [y/n]. You seem to embody everything a human man is, so...you got any advice for a fellow man who only just recently learned of all these great luxuries?" He raised an eyebrow.

You thought about it for a few moments, letting his hand go as your gaze went back to the books tucked under his arm. "Yeah, uh..for one, ya seem to be holdin' onto this "idea" that patriarchy's all about the horses. I hate to break it to ya....but it ain't that simple."

"....wait, it's not..?" He blinked in bewilderment, looking to the books and frowning. "Are you sure? Because these books told me-"

"They're outdated an' used for history projects at school. They don't accurately showcase modern cowboy culture, which is what ya seem to be enthralled with."

"...these don't???" His voice became higher-pitched, becoming utterly devastated that he was lied to. "But if it's not about horses..then...then what about the statues, hm? And those officers riding them?!"

"Ken..in this world anybody can ride a horse if they wanted to. You just happen to see more guys than gals doin' it."

"Oh..."

"Look, it's true that more men are in charge of stuff here in LA, but the patriarchy is really just a messy system that harms both sides." You frowned slightly. "It ain't somethin' I'd wanna idolize."

"...but why?"

You sighed, unsure of how you could possibly dumb it down for him even further. "'cuz it's turned some of my own friends and family into vile dirtbags who think the world owes them everything. I'd hate to see ya fall down that same pipeline."

He nodded in slight understanding, but seemed rather sad as he hugged the books to his chest, feeling like his dreams were shattered just as he began to realize them..

"I thought it was just like Barbieland..."

"Ya'll got a matriarchy there?"

"...I guess..? They write all the constitutions and stuff."

"And...how do they treat ya?"

"Like we're accessories." Ken huffed, eyebrows knitted together in frustration. "They aren't terrible, but...I only have a good day when Barbie looks at me..which...hasn't been happening lately. I was thinking if I could show her the cool horses and stuff...she'll see me differently. See me for the man I can be."

You never expected for this conversation to derail into you trying to resolve a doll's identity crisis, but it's clear he was holding onto the misconception that the "Real World" was just opposite of Barbieland--where men had it all here and ruled without flaw.

That was far from the truth.

"Now changin' yourself for a lady isn't what ya wanna do, son." You patted his shoulder, causing him to look up at you in astonishment. "You're good enough as you are. But I take it that deep down...ya just care about the horses?"

He nodded again.

"Then..how about instead of reading this misleading garbage--" You tapped the binder of one of the books "--ya talk to someone who's lived the authentic cowboy life? Somebody with experience?"

Looking all around, he seemed confused for a moment, before his gaze returned to yours. "Like....you?"

"Yup."

"Isn't being a man and wearing this not enough?"

"It's a wee bit more complicated than that. It's hard work. But if you're interested in that sort of life, I can tell ya all about it." You offered, smiling as you watched the grin return to his face.

"I'd love that. Now if I don't need these stupid books, then I'll just--" He went to toss the stack into the nearest trash bin, but you were quick to intervene.

"Hey, hey, hey! Ya can't just throw away school property like that!"

"...but you just called this "garbage"."

"It's a figure of speech, Ken." Sighing, you just shook your head, taking the books off his hands. "You'll learn a lot about that here. Let's just go return these and I'll tell ya all about my life back in Texas. Whatever ya wanna know, I'll do my best to answer."

Ken's eyes shimmered at the prospect of hanging out with another guy..like all the other humans he's seen. That's all he truly wanted, really--just to bond with someone and not be in some aggressive rivalry unlike what he had with the other Kens.

He's lucky he ran into you.

"Can I ask something now?"

"Sure..if it's less than ten words." You humored him.

"Do..you..own..horses..? That's four." He grinned, counting on his fingers just to be sure of it.

"I do. Poor things couldn't take the dry heat of Texas, so they came along with me in a truck. I'll show ya pictures after we return these books."

Ken nodded eagerly, unable to hide his excitement as he followed you back to the library, ready to learn more about your culture.

[yuurivoice]

We've hit the stage of Echoes of Evalas' creation that I'm spending a lot of my quiet time with scenes and characters, including time that is usually occupied by...well, nothing creative. At least, it hasn't been creative time in a long while.

Some of the dearest and most important moments of my young creative daydreaming was before bed. If I might overshare, it was specifically as I lay in bed and tried to drown out unpleasantness I'd hear from other rooms of the house. I'll spare you the details.

I didn't even have music at the time, though in later years as I became a depressed teen, I'd throw some music on my computer to fantasize and fall asleep to.

Oftentimes, these stories and characters I'd contemplate were favorites from various things I enjoyed. In time they'd adapt and evolve into something of my own, in worlds and stories of my own making.

Sometimes it wasn't so grand. There were no sweeping narratives or adventures. Just some self insert character being comforted by a friend or a lover.

Recent nights, I've thrown on my EoE playlist and let my mind wander. I haven't really done that in a long time. Haven't had the need to these days. I'm not running from much. Life is quiet. But as I start to turn over more stones and find what's beneath some of the characters and themes I'm exploring, I've found myself here again.

I don't know if anyone will love what I am making, and I never have. Every person who has let my characters and stories into their hearts means a whole lot to me, though. I've not forgotten when all of this was nothing more than a comfort to myself to soothe away all my fear and loneliness.

As it all starts to come together I'm seeing a stark difference between where I am at as a writer and creative in general in comparison to BitterSweet Chapter 1, as I've revisited it recently.

The pieces were there but it's so clear to me that I didn't have the conviction that I do now. I didn't have the comfort or security of knowing that I can take chances and be bold. I thought I had to color within the lines, and lacked the confidence to really let it rip.

So as much as I've been looking forward, I've also looked back. Further back than I typically like to.

When Charlie said he never thought he'd be this old, that was real shit man. I was a morbid kid. I have a crystal clear memory of being on a school bus in Washington state. Blink 182 just dropped an album. I hate Blink 182, but I listened with a friend whose face I can barely remember. As the high schoolers got on the bus I remember thinking...damn, I'll never be that old.

Not sure what could possess a child to feel that way. Or how that feeling could linger for years. It took a long time to find enough faith in myself to live. Now that I've got it, I think I'm encouraged to give breath to those lost dreams and wandering fantasies. Echoes of Evalas is an exploration of that.

I can't even grasp what that really means yet.

Things like faith, anger, insecurity, and longing for change. I've rattled a lot of locked doors while digging up this story and putting it together.

I am uneasy. That's probably how I've ended up writing this essay in bed, and boy is it a rambling one.

There was a point somewhere. I am excited for what's to come, but uneasy. Not out of fear that anyone will like it or content brained thinking like that. More like...a reverence for this magical thing I've found. Storytelling is magical for me. And that's not me waxing poetic, I think there's something terrifying and beautiful about it. It is the thing I was made to do, and the actual experience of crafting a story like this isn't just fun. I'm removing chains from my soul.

If that ain't magic, I don't know what is.

Anywho, I need to sleep. If you read all that, thank you for putting up with my yapping. 💖

[lagerloutfic]

a tough as balls year for little old me, but as the old proverb goes, no matter the horrors there is always ao3 in bed. writing and reading.

doubled down on my love for hockey and feel like i understood the game better, imbued more of the narratives, and discovered more players to be stupid about.

stopped trying to fight being an f1 girlie and threw myself in head first. what a gorge little community of freaks (affectionate) who like to watch the zoom zoom.

here are some things i wrote. not sure if i love them all, but they were all glorious distractions and so i'm hopelessly fond. not a single word could have happened without @crunchycrispy, the eternal muse.

hockey stuff

🐶 got that dog in him | E | 7.1k | the connor mcdog fic haha...oh boy. the good news is i am not alone in thinking how much connor looks like bowie and the bad news is, we're all going to hell. despite living in fear someone is going to cancel me for bestiality, i loved writing connor/bowie pov and imagining my life as a pampered little pooch, beloved by all. on my wishlist for 2025, tbh.

💦 warm ride | E | 2.3k & wrap me round your wedding ring | E | 6.8k | William Nylander/John Tavares | eurosleaze 4 DILF captain shame writing willy is a true joy, thoroughly recommend everyone have a turn. this was darker that i usually go because i don't like to hurt my own feelings but i'm happy with how wet and pathetic JT turned out and the whole structure of part 2. 😈 love drunk off this hump | E | 8k | Frederik Andersen/Auston Matthews | the gang's all here and they are fucking idiots this might have been the most fun thing i wrote this year? just good vibes, silly times, a thrilling ensemble of dickheads being stupid hockey bros. everyone should jerk off with the homies, the thesis.

🥛 no use crying | E | 38.6K | Brock Boeser/William Nylander | milk bar fic sex-worker AU ummmm, look. i just wanted to write boys with big milk jugs. do these fellas know each other? no. does the world make sense? nah. did i have a fun time, YES.

🦷 different kind of buzz | E | 3.5k | Macklin Celebrini/Will Smith | | pain, teeth & horny 4 hockey | those fucking rookies, goddamn actually can't believe we are witnessing the birth of a new pairing right under our noses, but it's happening. we are living in the historical moment! thank you to all the sickos who are writing willmack, posting the content, thinking the thoughts. the real MVP of this season, along with @fast-burn for making it spesh.

🏒 let's call this the playoff hockey coping strategy collection 🏒

absolutely bonkers time where i dealt with playoff hockey through fanfiction. actually do not remember half of these, so that's cool.

say it, say it again | E | 4.1k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | soft dick fic.

but close ain't close enough | E | 6.3k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | get your captain pregnant with help from your girl

go ahead and try a little crazy on me | E | 4k & don't you even try and explain | e | 12.1k | Leon Draisaitl/Arturs Silovs | winner's room goalie fucking | whomst among us was not enchanted by arty during that series? probably the most enjoyable voice to write, i do really want to write a part three where everyone gets freaky in spain so someone bully me until i do it.

better put that business to bed | E | 2.8k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | voice kink

just the touch of your hand | E | 3.4k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | McDepression and spanking

if i could make a wish | E | 2.8k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | omg, MORE McDrepression?? Get a new theme, girl!

i'm gonna tell you right now, they're all i'm thinkin' about | E | 7k | Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid | you are never gonna believe there's a THIRD McDepression fic out there by moi. This time with a cute outfit!

🏎️ f1 stuff 🏎️

👀 unsafe release | E | 18.2k | Alex Albon/George Russell | when that childhood friend becomes hot and weird and scary it's your girls first f1 fic! started life as a quinn/petey fic lol okay who is she? this was HARD to write. new fandoms are tricky, there's so much to learn. but good to be sobbing into the google doc at a million am, it builds character etc etc

🌪️ a lasting advantage | E | 18.7k | Alex Albon/George Russell | okay but actually i wasn't done with these bitches more of the same, but with extra mental breakdowns and lashings of shame! buttsex, finally, and a beloved OC.

💬 hot rookie slagsss | M | 5.7k | Alex Albon/George Russell/Lando Norris | horndogs in the groupchat i just wanted to write something with dialogue so i didn't have to bother with all the bits in between and text is so fun for that. so fun to thrash this out with @latecomersprivilege and @ctimenefic. it takes a village, y'all.

flippin' hell. when it's all laid out like that it's really something. what's next? i literally have no idea! how fun! thanks to anyone who interacted with me this year, the likes and comments and stupidity keep the motor running. open mouthed kisses for all xx

[sweetybaty]

I low key feel like Flippy and Lammy have an adversarial relationship most of the time, but when it comes to Flaky it becomes "the enemy of my enemy is my friend". Basically ain't NO ONE that isn't pre-approved by both getting anywhere near her, sorry Flaky.

Flippy: look Flaky, he specifically asked for YOU rather than accepting I answered the door. I don't trust that! Why did he need you specifically?

Lammy: Exactly, you know how men can be! I barely accepted Flippy, I think I want some random approaching you, especially if he asked for you BY NAME without asking me or Flippy if he may do so?!

Flaky:

Flaky: He was the mailman. The letter was addressed to me, and he was told to hand it directly to me because it's a letter label "hand to recipient only"-

MWAJSJSJJSAJHJ THE ENDING OMAGA??? I LOVED IT, IT SO THEEEEEMMM ! ! ! I DED. Love the little scenario for real.

Pretty on point! And none of their filters are good to go throught

When I imagine them interacting, like 99.99% of the time they are being enemies I can assure you, even in that tiny percentage left they refuse to call themselves even "allies" tho, every chance they have they might throw a little poison.

Flaky really is delusional tho, would have hopes of them getting along thanks to those brief alliances.

It is unconfy , afterall they are fighting bcuz of her,

Personally I think it's better for her they dont get along, the mansplaining, girlsplaining, gaslighting would be out of this world JHSAJHAS

I imagine them like this lots, I swear bebe looks away for a mili second and then sees that (there wasnt a scream or word uttered)

For me it's fun, I'm not the one living it JSAHJAHASJHASJHAS

[rockybloo]

Keep forgetting to mention that one good reason Jack has for being irked by Charming is the nearly constant microaggressions from him.

Charming is basically a spoiled rich kid who learned all he knows about the world from his father, who is a king, and teachers only dad approved of.

So he says some shit on a near constant basis he ain't fully aware is horrifically ignorant because the lad ain't educated about Bookmarked that live outside his kingdom's walls. So he's gonna have one hell of a time learning the world is a lot different than what his daddy told him.

I'mma say right now that Charming's whole story arc will be the closest to "real world stuff" this fun little fairy tale story will probably get.