#living in the real world (ain't it fun)

[bbyjackie]

𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒... 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒 — ♡

one piece social media feat: strawhats special appearance: whitebeard pirates, heart pirates, kid pirates

》 in honour of barbie!! (+ oppenheimer)

♡ liked by nefertari_vivi, ace and 10.4k others

_ynln: barbie girls in the new world 🎀💄

[music: Beauty And A Beat - Justin Bieber, Nicki Minaj ♫]

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, lovenami, theroronoa.zoro, nicorobin, nefertari_vivi, sogekingg.usopp, blackleg.sanji, jinbe, ilovecottoncandychopper, S0U1K1NGBR00K, FRAAANKY

FRAAANKY: LETS GOOOOOOOOO 🔥🔥

nefertari_vivi: so happy to meet up with you guys again!! 💕

↳ _ynln: we missed u!

↳ lovenami: lets do it again!

↳ blackleg.sanji: YOU WERE SO BEAUTIFUL VIVI 💞💘❣️💕🥰😍

lovenami: we look so good omg ‼️

ace: CAN'T BELIEVE WE RAN INTO EACHOTHER

↳ _ynln: EEE IM SO GLAD YOU JOINED US!!

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HEHE IT WAS SO FUNNY WHEN U FELL ASLEEP ACE 😂

sogekingg.usopp: BEST DRESSED CREW IN THE NEW WORLD

trafalgar_d.law: it looked like you all copied doflamingo's style

↳ _ynln: PLEASE DELETE THIS B4 HE SEES IT I DONT WANT TO DIE🙏🙏

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HEHAHHA TRA GUY YOURE RIGHT

↳ doflamingo_: Looking good @_ynln

↳ _ynln: you're old enough to be my dad 😐

↳ doflamingo_: Add a dy to that

↳ theroronoa.zoro: more like you should dy off 😭😭 (liked by trafalgar_d.law, _ynln, sogekingg.usopp)

CAPTAIN.KIIIID: fire song choice (liked by _ynln, theroronoa.zoro)

♡ liked by marco_o, iampops and 14.3k others

ace: ran into these losers 😪

tagged: _ynln, p1rateking_luffy

marco_o: so when you said you couldn't do cleaning duty, you were out watching barbie

↳ ace: And I'm bad like the Barbie (Barbie) I'm a doll, but I still wanna party (party) Pink 'Vette like I'm ready to bend (bend) I'm a ten, so I pull in a Ken

↳ marco_o: you need to be put down

_ynln: omg i made it on THE FIRE FIST ACE'S ig?! 🫢🫢

↳ ace: YOU WERE LITERALLY IN THE LAST PHOTO DUMP

↳ _ynln: NO WAY YOU POST ME IN THE SAME DUMP AS LUFFY AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY W THAT 🤨🤨

↳ ace: mb you're the no.1 fr 😌🤞

p1rateking_luffy: LERS DO A MOVIE NIGHT AGUIB WIEH SABU TOO

↳ saaaa_bo: real, if that's what you were trying to say

iampops: Sons, let's go watch barbie together

↳ ace: pops i ain't even gonna lie, there's no way we can bring you to the theatre and not have the marines after us 😭😭

↳ _ynln: ace YOU'RE the liability, i literally ran into the marines and they were offering me DOUBLE your bounty to turn you in

↳ lovenami: AND YOU DIDN'T DO IT?

♡ liked by nojiko.ko, blackleg.sanji and 6.9k others

lovenami: glad this fit is boutta be on my new bounty poster 🤞

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, _ynln, nicorobin, nefertari_vivi

_ynln: nami nahh 💀 we were running for our LIVES

↳ themarineofficial: my mum told me to chase after my dreams (liked by _ynln, FRAAANKY, theroronoa.zoro)

↳ sogekingg.usopp: WHO TF HACKED INTO THE OFFICIAL MARINE IG LMFAOO 😭😭

↳ lovenami: scariest notification

trafalgar_d.law: luffy? more like goofy. why's he trying to rizz up the camera man like that

p1rateking_luffy: Tra guy what does rizz mean

↳ trafalgar_d.law: RIZZ: Another word for spitting game/how good you are with pulling and sustaining bitches. [Urban Dictionary]

↳ p1rateking_luffy: I GOT THAT ILLEGAL RIZZ 🤪🤪😇🙏🔥🔥

↳ _ynln: LUFFY WHAT

↳ lovenami: ?!!

↳ jinbe: ?

↳ trafalgar_d.law: wtaf

↳ p1rateking_luffy: Ace told me to say it :((

↳ saaaa_bo: ACE STOP RUINING LUFFY'S DIGITAL FOOTPRINT

↳ ace: GUYS OMG DONT HATE ON ME TBF HE PULLED HANCOCK AND SHES LIKE 30

blackleg.sanji: MY BEAUTIFUL GODDESSES IN ONE FRAME HOW DID I EVER GET THIS LUCKY TO BE BORN INTO THIS LIFE 💓💖💘🧡💕💖💗❤️

↳ p1rateking_luffy: I'm in the photo too!

↳ blackleg.sanji: sadly.

↳ _ynln: 😭

♡ liked by sogekingg.usopp, BONBONBONCLAY and 12.7k others

p1rateking_luffy: Last nighT was fun

tagged: ace, theroronoa.zoro, _ynln, blackleg.sanji

ace: WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO ME?

↳ _ynln: dude you were GONE 😭

↳ p1rateking_luffy: HAAHGAHA DID YIUO SEE THE THINGFW WE DFEW ON YOURE FACE

↳ trafalgar_d.law: ever feel bad about yourself? think about luffy's spelling (liked by saaaa_bo)

lovenami: WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING TO YN AND ZORO IN THE SECOND PHOTO

↳ lovenami: WAIT WHEN WAS THE PHOTO EVEN TAKEN?

↳ p1rateking_luffy: Ryght after the marnjnes follqweod you g0uys instead

↳ sogekingg.usopp: aint no way i was fighting for life and these rats were having the time of their life 🫤🫤

↳ _ynln: 😝

↳ p1rateking_luffy: 😝

♡ liked by killerrr, SOU1K1NGBR00K and 10.1k others

_ynln: strawhats take on oppenheimer next 🖤

tagged: p1rateking_luffy, lovenami, theroronoa.zoro, nicorobin, nefertari_vivi, sogekingg.usopp, blackleg.sanji, jinbe, ilovecottoncandychopper, S0U1K1NGBR00K, FRAAANKY

themarinesofficial: strawhat ladies and roronoa zoro i will need to arrest you for stealing my heart ❤️

↳ _ynln: LMFAO UM IM CRYING??!!

↳ nicorobin: This is slightly uncomfortable

↳ CAPTAIN.KIIIID: LMFAO THE WAY ZORO IS INCLUDED AHHAA

↳ blackleg.sanji: BACK OFF FROM THEM 🫵

↳ theroronoa.zoro: just crucify me again

sogekingg.usopp: OKAY BUT FR WHO HACKED INTO THEIR ACC 😭😭

↳ FRAAANKY: nah people in the marines just getting bored fr

ace: YOOO LETS MEET UP (liked by _ynln)

↳ p1rateking_luffy: @saaaa_bo COME TOO

[wtftarot]

How can you navigate your life from here on?

Thank you, @lifeofaie for suggesting this reading, I really loved the idea.

Listen, I fuckin love a good road trip, ok? And navigating on a road trip ain't that different from navigating your life. Great music and shitty snacks. Wrong turns and detours that end up being half the fun and the whole story later. Arriving later than you planned or having plans changed entirely. How it always seems like the more you try to plan and control things the more they go off the rails. What do you need to keep in mind on this road trip called life? (yes I know how dorky that was, nope I don't care, yes all of these are gonna be heavy on road trip metaphors) Consider this reading, stopping and asking a local for directions and I promise not to lead you to the den of a serial killer. What is your inner compass saying? Is it time to make a rest stop? Let's fuck around and find out.

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Road Stretching On, The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere, or the Road to Ol' Kentucky and head on to your reading

The Road That Stretches On

The Tower, Seven/ Swords Rx and the Magician on the bottom of the deck.

This reading is HEAVY. Some of y'all who came to this reading are dealing with some heavy mental shit. I am not a mental health professional, please seek one out. Tarot is awesome and helpful but it is not therapy.

Take a breath. I'm so fuckin serious right now. You need to breathe and clear your mind even for a second. Don't ya just love how many people come to readings and then ignore the simplest advice given? To just take a breath? ( I love y'all, but some of y'all need a lil call out every now and then) The reason why I'm pushing y'all to stop and breathe is cause y'all's mind never. fuckin. stops. does it? Never. I had to restart this reading three times, cause I just kept getting wrapped up in y'all's anxiety spiral. And, I know it's hard but if you never make a conscious decision to try and slow down and give yourself a second, it's not gonna happen. Human brains are mostly auto-pilot and if you don't try and take the reins every once in a while it'll just keep doing what it's doing. Y'all are incredibly overwhelmed by making decisions for your future. It's like you see your future like the picture you chose, a road stretching on forever that can lead to anywhere depending on the turns you make but for you there's something that could be lurking in each turn. Something you're not seeing and that is terrifying to you. Now the main contender here looks to be anxiety about the state of the world, climate change, wars, pollution, famine, natural disasters, and on and on. Like y'all seem to be thinking what's the point, everything's going to shit. Listen, I'm gonna try to be gentle but when I tell y'all I'm very passionate about this, I am downplaying so fuckin hard. A lot of people fall into this overwhelm, it's not your fault. Governments and corporations put a shit ton of effort into keeping us feeling overwhelmed, cause overwhelmed people are too drained to put up a real fight. The point of trying is you being happy. That is worth it. The point is you can spread that joy. The point is to make a difference while you can. The point is that yeah, the world may be going to hell in a handbasket and you're just one person but you are a whole ass person. Who doesn't have to take this shit lying down. You want to live your life but are terrified of what might happen if you do. You feel like the world is a scary place and it can be sometimes, but you're so scared of truly stepping into the world, you never let yourself be or do much. It's like y'all are super fuckin excited for the road trip but are so scared of what may be around any turn, you just keep going on the same road letting it take you wherever it does. To get anywhere you want to go you have to make some choices. Yea, they may not always turn out how you planned but here's the thing: You will be okay. What you need to do to navigate your life? I'm sorry, y'all are gonna hate this advice but trust yourself. Sweetie, you are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for, hell you may not have any knowledge of your full capabilities cause you've never let yourself reach them. Tarot readings can help you navigate, but all the readings in the world won't help you get anywhere if you never put your foot on the gas.

random ass vibes: I dunno if y'all forgot to eat but like I've been ravenous this whole reading, The cartoon Roadrunner, venus, tea, sunburn, flowers, 666

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

The Road to Anywhere and Nowhere

The Star, the Five/Pentacles Rx and the High Priestess on the bottom of the deck.

Listen, honey. You can handle this. And you know you can. You're listening to your intuition, learning to trust yourself if you don't already. Y'all are navigating your life, you may have rough moments as we all do but y'all are learning to handle those moments with grace. I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out why y'all are even at this reading, seems like the topic of this reading ain't something y'all need help with. And it ain't, y'all are killing it in this area. The reason y'all are here? Y'all need some encouragement. Maybe need is the wrong word, cause y'all are doing fuckin awesome either way. Deserve. That's the word. Y'all deserve some encouragement. The road you're on may be unconventional or the people around you very strongly disagree with. Or maybe they just strongly disagree with you, your identity as a person. (I dunno where "strongly disagree" is coming from but it keeps popping up in my head?) I feel like y'all have actively had people put you down and were able to power through and encourage yourselves, so you may not need others to encourage you. BUT we all deserve to be encouraged, just cause you can power through without supportive voices doesn't mean that you should have to. SO GET READY FOR SOME CHANNELED ENCOURAGEMENT MOTHERFUCKER! Y'all have been doing a fuckin amazing job moving away from shitty past situations and are not fucking giving yourselves enough credit. Yes, even if it was "just" some mental blocks. Oh, "just" a mental block are you kidding me? Do you know how hard getting over your own mental bullshit is?? Y'all are over here, learning to parkour over your mental bullshit like a goddamn ninja, acting like it's no big deal. Sweetie, that's huge, you do realize that? To be honest with yourself, call yourself on your bullshit and then do something about it? Step fuckin one of that is daunting. And I'm hearing that y'all were able to get through faster than even your guides were expecting. Honey, how powerful are you? Not only that, but y'all are learning to argue with your self-deprecating thoughts. Asking them, who gives a shit what they have to say? And taking all the energy you used to put into pushing yourself down and using it to build yourself up. That's SO fuckin badass, y'all! Talk about fuckin alchemizing shit. Y'all saw how much time and energy it was taking to keep yourself small and hurt, thought: Wonder what would happen if I used that to build myself up instead? And then you went and did it and ITS FUCKIN GORGIOUS. The blessings are gonna start rolling in with this new energy, but you already knew that. Cause motherfucker YOU are the blessing! Y'all are really embodying your own power and strength and are KICKING ASS. The last message is to let yourself rest, y'all are doing a lot. So give yourself a break, let yourself sleep in a bit later. Set aside time to just chill, you won't lose your progress while you sleep.

random ass vibes: receiving roses, worms, gardening, astronomy designs on clothes, 18, hide and seek

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

The Road to Ol' Kentucky

Shout out to all my fellow Kentuckians! How y'all doing?

The Moon Rx, The Queen/Wands, the Page/Cups Rx and the Five/Wands Rx on the back of the deck

Y'all are being called to really embody yourself and your power moving forward. It seems like y'all not only have it in your head that you're a Page when you're a Queen (queen energy, not gender). You're wrong about the whole damn suit. Others may have convinced you you're being sensitive when they're being an asshole and you're pissed about it. (As if letting people talk shit about you is "weak" right?) Y'all think you're the negative aspects of the Cups: Overly emotional, flakey, manipulative, disorganized, and self-centered. When the truth is you're the positive aspects of the Wands: Passionate, creative, driven, confident, and strong-willed. Y'all are really fuckin hard on yourselves, okay? Others may have been intimidated by your strengths and convinced you they were your weaknesses. If y'all have been feeling stuck, this is why, alright? You are stuck cause you've been told that the way to get unstuck IS the reason you're stuck. Think of it like this, y'all are an airplane, convinced by cars that flying is your biggest weakness, trying to figure out why you never seem to get anywhere. Airplanes can roll around, sure but they're MADE to fly. It's time to do some hard thinking, probably back to when you were a kid. What were the things you loved and pursued, how did you pursue them and what bullshit did others say about it? Like, did you get super focused on an activity you were doing, forget about choirs or some shit, and then be called irresponsible and lazy? When you wanted something, were you the type to push and work towards it, then be called stubborn or relentless or annoying when others decided they wanted you to do something else? Because there are some good qualities y'all have that are how you're supposed to show up in the world that you're not letting yourself embody. To be clear, I'm not talking about being told you're acting like an asshole when you were, in fact acting like an asshole. I'm talking about strengths you had that were demonized to you and in an effort to be a better person you stopped using. Now they've atrophied and you've gotta work them out to get them back. Cause, listen the typical way of navigation ain't gonna work for you. Y'all can continue to roll around and try to get where you wanna go, but it's gonna be slow and a billion times harder. You ever seen an airplane trying to go down a road through town? Think a sec on on how hard that would be. Cause that's you, right now. There are no road maps for the sky, ya know? Y'all are charting your own path. You need to stop trying to make yourself follow the road map for life that others are using. It's not gonna work for you, cause it was never meant to. Y'all are on an unconventional path, the only way forward is to embrace it.

random ass vibes: Back To The Future, coffee, night owl, finding your people, reds oranges and yellows, clouds, libra, cats. Thelma and Louise

Like this reading and wanna enable me doing readings to put-off doing my laundry? Leave me a comment on how you liked it or a tip with the lil thing at the bottom of the post!

[nexusnyx]

Hello🥰 It's not a request per say, but I'm really curious what's one of your favorite Joel headcanons if it's ok to share it now? Your writing is amazing, thank you for sharing it with us!

Jules, I am so glad you asked this question. I've been dying to just talk about the things Joel Miller enjoys.

(Also, thank you so much?! It means the world you enjoy my writing! <3)

Starting from the top, shall we? Pre-outbreak Joel Miller, well..

He's reserved only to people he doesn't trust. If you don't know a thing about Joel Miller, you better bet Joel doesn't like your ass.

Worry not about miscommunication—that's a word his vocabulary lacks. Whatever he feels or not for you, he'll make it known. Unless you're his old neighbors, Joel has no qualms about keeping shit to himself. He'll just say it.

His mouth got him into trouble when he was younger. Often.

It's why he learned to react in his mind first, speak later. Too bad his face gives away his feelings anyway.

Speaking of feelings... Joel Miller is a romantic. Big, big time. It's why he's single after all these years and Sarah's mom — "if it ain't the right thing, I don't want it."

Joel's not scared of being alone because he likes his own company. It's why he values so much when he finds another one he enjoys, too. He appreciates real connections. Good conversation.

Hates small talk. Will not do it. Will get away with doing it 9/10 times.

Blood is made of caffeine, sandwiches, and take-out food, which is why...

He's a whore for home-cooked meals. He gets by on his own, but he doesn't have the heart for cooking. Tommy got those genes. Joel would sell his soul for home-cooked meals everyday, and he'll say it to whoever hears it.

Workaholic only because he wants to put Sarah through a good university, but when she complains about the lack of time she has with her father, he compromises. Hires more people, tries to balance work and Sarah.

Balance is not really his expertise. But Joel's good at compromising. Rationalizing. He's a man of structure, of building things from scratch—he knows the value of firm, solid base.

Not really a sports kind of guy, actually. He'll watch it, but... Shrugging it off. "I don't see what the big deal is over a ball. I mean — it's fun, but damn. Breaking windows and busting fists on walls ain't my thing. Not over a damn football, at least."

On the other hand... history buff. Over the strangest, weirdest, most specific topics. Joel has trouble naming three countries in Asia, but he can tell you in details everything about Mayan construction and their society. Go figure.

He's a man of taste. Good food, strong alcohol, fruit picked from the tree, and woman who let him sink to his knees and taste them 'till he's drunk on it. He's starving, quite often.

Joel's a tease.

He can play a game of chicken all night long. No fucks given about how hard he's straining in his jeans or the beads of sweat trailing from his nape down his spine — if you touch him when you two are out, he will make you live to regret it. To whine and cry his name.

Joel loves a playful thing. Seriousness is imbedded in his bones, he loves a person that can make him laugh.

His sense of humor is... peculiar.

("It's shite. You're sense of humor's the same as a fifty-six year old man, Joel." "You say that and yet, you're laughin'... how does that work, beautiful?")

You know his taste? His sharp tongue, his clever brain and quick fingers? Yeah... it makes him a cocky bastard.

Everything Joel has of insecurity, he equals in cockiness once he knows his person's attracted to him.

Reciprocity's big on him.

Joel pays attention to details. He'll remember the outfit you were wearing the day you two met 'till the day he dies, which is why he knows when he's in deep from miles away.

Loves being surprised, exactly because of this ^.

Joel loves through gestures, through words, through action.

Love language is touch, touch, words of affirmation, touch.

Never gonna half-ass anything that matters to him. Never.

Will play to you when he decides to confess his feelings. Will sing his heart out, even if he’s not that good at it (his words), will make himself vulnerable and open like a wound if he thinks he’s in safe hands.

One in a million. Joel’s one in a million and when the right person comes along to appreciate it, Joel only glows. Only glows up, and gets finer with each passing day, like a great wine.

(If you’d like me to do post-outbreak Joel, I could..)

[vidavalor]

I think you're the fifth blogger I've seen mention Shax's thing for Crowley... I still can't see it even though I really want to 'cause I think it's hilarious... send help... 🤣🥲😔

I can try lol. Chocolate cake? *slices*

More fun with Shax and Crowley under the cut. We're also going to look at part of Gabriel & Sandalphon's visit to the bookshop in S1 for some bonus fun since it fit in here as it's a parallel scene.

TW: Brief mention of Sandalphon and his homophobia.

For the most part, Shax isn't really in love with Crowley... she's just got a Mr. Brown-level pash on the Crowley that Crowley projects. While Aziraphale hides that he's an angel from the human world so Mr. Brown only believes him to be human, Crowley hides the extent to which he's human and living like one from the demons in Hell. As a result, the demon pursuing him has got exactly one thing correct about Crowley-- that he's hot lol-- but Shax's opinions as to why only partially overlap with ours and Aziraphale's because Shax believes Crowley's big reputation. She doesn't know what we know about him or see him the way we do. Like Mr. Brown with Aziraphale, she exists in part to highlight how insular Crowley & Aziraphale's world of their life together is and how much they have to playact in their respective worlds to keep that secret life they have with one another private and intact.

Shax is a demon who loves being a demon. That's what makes her crazy to us. Most of the other demons we've met are just miserable, even if they're playing along, but Shax is a real go-getter. She's ambitious and she lives to serve their master Satan. She wants to be good at being a demon and she's in love with *Crowley* lol. To us, this seems bananas because ain't no demon ever hated being a demon more than Anthony Jemimah Crowley... but it's proof positive of how decent a job Crowley has been doing at projecting an air of general demonicness for the last six thousand years.

Crowley has been a prince of Hell forever. He's gotten the top jobs-- the stuff of Shax's dreams, really-- and was a particular favorite of Satan, whom Shax worships. He was basically Hell's resident rock star, breezing in every few months to give a demonic presentation and shoot the shit in Lord Beezlebub's office for a half-hour before taking off for Earth again. If you were Shax, spending literally *thousands of years* in that overstuffed, dark, actual hell hole, Crowley showing up must have been like a visit from sexy Santa Claus. Shax is one of those Effort-making demons and most of the demons in Hell are more terrifying than attractive, ok?... even if you find terrifying attractive, like Shax sorta does or at least thinks she ought to.

Who's going to light your fire down there? Hastur? He'd *literally* light you on fire....

We've seen Shax have to deal with misogyny in the workplace (ugh Demon Josh) and you know she never got any of that shit from Crowley. She probably mostly got a "Shaaaaax! How's it hangin'?" from Disco Tony, who was thrilled to have remembered her name this time. Shax was playing it evil demon lady cool on the surface but girl just wants to be first string for the finest demon in Hell and she was swooning internally every time Crowley swooped in to grace Hell with his presence for a hot minute.

There has been suggestion in the series that several demons that we know of from Bible lore are, in Good Omens, all actually Crowley, which furthers this idea of Crowley and his big reputation a bit. The show has actually already done this with a Biblical figure, in that Bildad the Shuite is an actual Biblical character that the show just made be actually the demon Crowley under a different name, so it would make sense that the reason why we haven't seen other famous demons from The Bible in the series are because they're actually Crowley.

One is canon, basically, which is Astaroth/Astoreth, since Crowley was Nanny Astoreth in S1 and I doubt he stole the name from another demon who exists in the GO universe. When Crowley tells Aziraphale he changed his name when they are watching Jesus' crucifixion, Aziraphale first posits two other demons' names and neither of them exist in GO universe to date but both are, lore-wise, powerful: Mephistopheles and Asmodeus. A lot of other great meta has been written about these choices-- in particular, how well Mephistopheles fits Crowley to a tee, which I really, really agree with. You could assume then that the reasons why more audience-known demons like Astoreth and Asmodeus have never shown up in GO-- and we've met the highest-ranking demons already-- is because they actually *have* and they're all just really Crowley.

In demon lore, Astaroth is part of the "evil trinity" with Beezlebub and Lucifer and is a high-ranking demon in Hell... as well as is basically a genderbent serpent goddess with Crowley traits... so safe to say that's one of Crowley's aliases. Crowley has also had his name of "Crowley" for thousands of years by S1 but when he's rolling up in The Bentley in 1.01, Ligur and Hastur clarify what Crowley's "calling himself up here these days", indicating that he might have gone by more names than we might have realized.

Asmodeus, as we all probably know by now, is the demon of lust. A French novel from the 18th century also popularized the idea of Asmodeus as a sort of Cupid, which also goes along with Crowley, who loves love and got genuine joy out of trying to set up Maggie and Nina. So... from Shax's perspective, why *wouldn't* you want Crowley? He's the fine as fuck, Serpent of Eden, legendary prince of fucking lust here lol.

Shax showed up to reclaim his apartment for Hell and you know she expected a scene the likes of which have not been seen on Earth since a post-concert hotel suite occupied by Led Zeppelin lol. She was expecting (fantasizing lol) about having to wade through a rock music blasting, orgiastic drug den to find Asmodeus in his sex dungeon of a bedroom, somewhere in the black silk sheets beneath three playthings.

You know she actually found Crowley, alone, having just finished vacuuming the most fastidiously clean flat this side of Heaven, fully dressed and watching Barefoot Contessa on his massive plasma screen while the only drugs being mixed were special-blend fertilizer for his houseplants. Ina was making Jeffrey red-wine braised short ribs and Crowley didn't say so to Shax, of course, but he's always on the lookout for something his angel might like for dinner. Hang on a second, Shax, gotta save this recipe to my favorites...

At least the black silk sheets were accurate? lol

What probably confuses Shax a little is that she's been meeting up with Crowley and she still wants him and badly, even as it's becoming increasingly clear that he's a bit more complicated than she thought he was. Technically, she should consider him a traitor because of how he betrayed their Master but he's hot, ok, and maybe it's a little sexy to be so bad that you'd defy Satan? (Aziraphale agrees lol.)

Shax has Mr. Brown-level fantasies about where this could go. Crowley was a favorite of Satan's and she can bring him back into the fold. She can heal him. Yeah, this lady demon has gone and got herself one of those 'I can fix him' disaster scenarios. She hates this for her too but she can't help it. He's so sexy. She's been in Hell for a long time. She's sleeping in the bed and showering in the tropical rainforest paradise dream shower of Asmodeus himself, ok?

She's undoubtedly tried to get him to stay. She's so offered for him to live with her in secret and Crowley nearly choked on the air he doesn't need to breathe trying not to laugh at the irony of that one. It's not Shax's fault that he's just not that into her. She's a bad bitch and everything. That's just not his thing. He's just the lonely GI who basically fell asleep during a performance of The Ladies of Camelot. He has always given off the impression that he's into everything there is to sell the whole 'demon of lust' thing but he's really not. Shax doesn't know that, though, because to know that is to know Crowley well and Shax does not.

Does Crowley know that Shax is into him? Yeah, he does.

Shax's thing for him is basically the same thing as when Crowley tries to make a phone call after having taken out the mobile phone network for miles. It's the oh, shit, right, that thing I did that's now fucking up my day in the present... He didn't lead her on specifically as much as he just gave off the vibe in general that he's this debauched, wild, so very wicked demon and, well... if your name is Aziraphale, that's not terribly inaccurate lol... but if it's not, then it's actually not true at all...

...and this is why Shax cannot for the fucking life of her figure out what the deal is with Crowley and this angel.

Yes, Shax is trying to goad Aziraphale into confirming that he has Gabriel in this scene but this scene also comes off as Shax so incredibly done with how jealous she is over this, in her eyes, ridiculous being, and she's bitchy as all fuck about it. There were other ways to crack at Aziraphale than over his relationship with Crowley and she goes at that hard. She calls The Bentley an old piece of junk when she's really clearly calling Aziraphale that and saying that she doesn't know why Crowley hasn't gotten "an upgrade" since, implying that she considers herself just the upgrade Crowley needs. She brings up 1941 via the rumors that she heard "80, 90 years ago" that Crowley and Aziraphale were "an item", which we know are at least partially derived from what happened with Furfur, who his Shax's closest friend and totally has tried to tell her that this thing she has for Crowley is hopeless because he's doing that angel, Shax. (Poor, pining Furfur lol.)

Shax knows somewhere that Furfur is probably correct but she's decided to pretend that it's Furfur's thing for her that could have caused him to misconstrue at least part of it, right, because the demon of lust only having eyes for one being, let alone that being being this angel, is absurd to her (even if she thinks she can tame him lol.)

Aziraphale is an angel, for one thing. The bastards who did this to The Fallen and who cast their Master to Hell. Their sworn, hereditary enemy. It was one thing when maybe the angel was a dalliance. Asmodeus, lonely and bored on Earth, tired of all the sex with the mortals, and so very bad that he could corrupt an angel. That's a little hot, actually, if you're Shax, but it's the fact that that... does not appear to be what this relationship is... that unsettles her.

During S2, Shax learns that Crowley has a permanent invite into and keys to the bookshop and that Aziraphale can drive Crowley's car to an extent that Shax even has to trick him to allow her to enter it. The angel really seems like he might be Crowley's partner, which would mean that this wasn't Crowley fucking an angel on a whim in 1941 but that Hell's wild prince of lust has actually secretly been in a romantic relationship with Aziraphale for at least, to Shax's knowledge, almost a century.

The purported baddest demon that ever demoned, shy of the literal devil, is apparently mad for this fusty angel and Shax just cannot get it, ok?

Crowley is a a broody, black-clad rock star and Aziraphale is this twee little bookselling angel to her. Shax thinks maybe this was all part of Crowley's breakdown or something and she's Mr. Brown so she hasn't given up hope here, not for most of S2, but she's mostly been trying to figure out how to get Crowley's attention and that's the funniest part of her whole pash, imo.

Shax has no idea what Crowley is into. She can't figure this out to save her life.

She has no idea that it's over before it started because she is just not what primes the engine of Crowley's star factory over here. It's not personal. He just doesn't have a shred of sexual interest in her. Gabriel is getting more action from Crowley this season and he tried to murder him lol. Crowley's spent millennia cultivating a persona of a sex god and now he's got to live with it and he's just praying he never finds out anything she's fantasizing about him because he shudders at the thought of whatever she envisions them getting up to.

Look at what Shax is wearing when she comes to Earth to meet with Crowley, for one of the more hilarious things...

In Hell, Shax wears modern clothes. When she comes to Earth to meet Crowley in the year 2023, she wears a vintage-inspired outfit that is spanning the mid-1930s through WW2 in style (the era she knows he was involved with Aziraphale, who is her main point of reference for what attracts Asmodeus over here lol)... and the dress has the biggest damn bow ever seen. You could see that bow from space. It's like she's trying desperately to figure out what turns Crowley on and so far she's come up with well, he drives an old car and he's rolled that angel so he likes... old things... vintage clothes, like the angel's. She's trying to out-bow-tie Aziraphale.

Now that Shax can spend time with Crowley alone and the possibility of seducing him is ever-present (lolololol), she's spending time trying to figure out what turns on the prince of lust. She's trying to get Crowley's demonically lustful attention and she's reduced to bow ties, okay, take pity on her... she's just like I don't know what his deal with these are, exactly, as it seems kind of specific... but he can unwrap me anytime if that's his thing...

Then, there's that she's sitting too close to him on the park bench and raking her eyes over him while he's sprawling on it. He's not sprawling in a way meant to be enticing. He's actually mid-existential crisis here but that's fine by Shax. She likes 'em a little dark.

My favorite, though, is a scene that actually parallels S1 in a hilarious way and that's from the hot water boiler scene in the other meta that prompted the ask here but isn't a bit that I mentioned in that one.

As Crowley goes back into the bookshop (and he'd never been happier to be on the other side of that threshold in his life lol), Shax is then as physically close to him as she's ever been. If you notice, she actually inhales twice. The first is a regular breath-- which demons don't technically need to take but yeah lol-- and her expression is all oh Satan, he smells amazing and then she straight up sniffs the air as he opens the door. Girl is huffing her fill over here for those shower fantasies for months to come lol. Crowley knows it as his eyebrows are in his hair as he's turning back around like he's all did she seriously just *sniff* me? ugh...

Shax knows Crowley saw her (honestly, probably also *heard* her... Shax, love, a little subtlety wouldn't kill you...) so she covers it up by pretending like she smelled Gabriel in the bookshop. You smelled the archangel in there, huh, Shax? When you can't get through the door? When Gabriel is the same species as Aziraphale, whose bookshop this is, so this can't be some kind of angel-scent you're claiming you noticed here? lol This then parallels and adds to this Sandalphon scene in S1:

I know there's some debate about if there's such thing as an angelic or a demonic smell but I've actually always taken it to be that there isn't. It would seem to me that it would be hard for them to blend in on Earth if there was and if the demonic one was something off-putting to humans, at least. I think most of us, though, do believe that the "evil" Sandalphon is smelling in the backroom is Crowley but considering that the comment comes from Sandalphon, who is introduced to us with reference to his smiting of people in Sodom and Gomorrah, it honestly just comes off that Sandalphon is a raging homophobe and I've actually always taken that as the reason why Gabriel is here in this scene in the first place.

Absolutely nothing happens in this scene. It's a routine checkup. What is the Supreme Archangel of Heaven doing there? Why is he blowing so much smoke up Sandalphon's ass the whole time? It's kind of like he saw that Michael or someone had assigned Sandalphon to do a checkup of sorts on Aziraphale-- or Sandalphon had assigned himself-- and Gabriel pretended that he wanted to see in person how "the great Sandalphon" worked so that he could tag along and make sure that Sandalphon didn't bother Aziraphale. We also learn that Aziraphale hasn't seen Sandalphon in a long time and I'd bet that Gabriel is responsible for that. Gabriel's 'whatever, idgaf' response to Aziraphale's Jeffrey Archer books comment is so... Gabriel hadn't the first clue who Jeffrey Archer is or why his books would be evil lol. He could have easily further encouraged Sandalphon's pursuit of the "evil" scent. He didn't because he could care less what Aziraphale does in the backroom of his bookshop. If anything, he's jealous of him for having found a way to have some freedom and privacy. Gabriel is queer-- he is like Aziraphale. He's just closeted in S1. He's looking out for Aziraphale here by using his power to shut down Sandalphon and then "you can't have a war without war omg wow you are a poet!" him out of there as fast as is possible. If there truly was an 'evil'/'demonic' smell, Gabriel should have been able to smell it, too, and he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have been able to subtly shut down Sandalphon the way he did.

So, Sandalphon isn't smelling a demon. He's smelling another man. The "evil" is that Sandalphon can smell remnants of another cologne that isn't Aziraphale's in the backroom of Aziraphale's bookshop and Sandalphon is a homophobe, so he's implying that Aziraphale having sex and with a man is 'evil', even if there's no direct evidence here of that, just the implication of it.

This then would mean that Shax can't actually smell Gabriel in the bookshop in S2. Like Sandalphon, she's pretending to have a supernatural sense of scent but she's really just smelling Crowley. While Sandalphon was repulsed by the idea of Aziraphale's bookshop backroom having the scent of a man, Shax is just inhaling that same being's scent because omfg. so. good....

...something she can't stand that she has in common with that bastard angel, Aziraphale, who is actually allowed to breathe Crowley in anytime he wants... it's just ridiculous to her. Why the fuck does that beige bookseller get to have the sex god of Shax's dreams in his bed and she doesn't? What could Crowley possibly find attractive about him? That she doesn't know and can't really figure it out shows how little she really knows Crowley and also how little imagination she really has.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi! can i request ken x (male) reader who’s from texas and breaking ken’s idea of the patriarchy (mostly the realities of cowboy life lol) thank you!!

"Now what're you supposed to be, a cowboy or somethin'? Because it looks like you're goin' to a fashion show upstate."

Blinking owlishly, Ken spun around on his heels, coming face-to-face with you. He looked at your clothing up and down, noting you had a hat similar to his, along with ripped jeans, cowboy boots, and a buttoned plaid shirt.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion, not seeing an apparent difference.

Nevertheless, he realized you were another human male who was trying to talk to him, and he was excited! This was his big chance to learn more about the patriarchy of the Real World!

But he didn't wanna let his eagerness show too much, so he leaned against a nearby pillar, keeping the books tucked against his side.

"Nah, I ain't goin' to no fashion show....partner..." He made a poor attempt at mimicking your accent, which he noted was heavily Southern, and it took all your willpower not to laugh your ass off.

Yet you couldn't help chuckling anyways, which made the blond pout as he adjusted the brim of his hat. "Awh I'm only teasin'." You shook your head. "I will say it does fit ya pretty good. Haven't seen anything like that back in Texas."

"...oh really? Thanks!" He put a big smile back on, trying to sound cool and casual. "Sounds like a fun place. I'm just here..seeing what this world's all about...getting accustomed to the patriarchy. Man, I wish Barbie told me about-"

"Hold on..." You stopped him in his tracks, being perplexed by several things he just said. "What about the patriarchy? You act as though it's a lifestyle-"

"Is it not? Because I see it all around us!" He spread his arms out. "It's incredible! Everything's backwards but yet...I'm just amazed! This world caters to us men!" Then he stepped closer, showing you the books in his hands depicting studies of horses and patriarchy, a sparkle in his eye. "Look, these books have already taught me so much!"

You blinked, taking one of them and frowning as you recognized the barcode as being from the school your cousin attended. "Ya realize you stole these from a school library, right-?"

"Back in Barbieland, we Kens had none of this stuff!!" He ignored your remark, yanking the book from your hands as he continued to babble on and on and how "awesome" the patriarchy is while pointing to a nearby horse statue.

He's acting as though this was the first time he's ever heard of it, firmly believing that it's all about men and horses.

That would've convinced you that this guy was either insane or living under a rock all his life....had he not mentioned "Barbieland", "Barbie", and "Ken".

'As in...the dolls my little cousins played with?' You pondered. 'Well it would certainly explain the outlandish outfit..and how it doesn't look like any lights are on upstairs...'

"So.." You cleared your throat, he was quick to shut up and let you continue, blinking as you offered your hand. "Before I forget...the name's [y/n]. A pleasure to meet ya."

He studied your gesture intensely, before putting forth his manliest handshake possible, his eyes lighting up when you laughed and complimented his strong grip. "And I'm Ken, the pleasure's all mine."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Well, [y/n]. You seem to embody everything a human man is, so...you got any advice for a fellow man who only just recently learned of all these great luxuries?" He raised an eyebrow.

You thought about it for a few moments, letting his hand go as your gaze went back to the books tucked under his arm. "Yeah, uh..for one, ya seem to be holdin' onto this "idea" that patriarchy's all about the horses. I hate to break it to ya....but it ain't that simple."

"....wait, it's not..?" He blinked in bewilderment, looking to the books and frowning. "Are you sure? Because these books told me-"

"They're outdated an' used for history projects at school. They don't accurately showcase modern cowboy culture, which is what ya seem to be enthralled with."

"...these don't???" His voice became higher-pitched, becoming utterly devastated that he was lied to. "But if it's not about horses..then...then what about the statues, hm? And those officers riding them?!"

"Ken..in this world anybody can ride a horse if they wanted to. You just happen to see more guys than gals doin' it."

"Oh..."

"Look, it's true that more men are in charge of stuff here in LA, but the patriarchy is really just a messy system that harms both sides." You frowned slightly. "It ain't somethin' I'd wanna idolize."

"...but why?"

You sighed, unsure of how you could possibly dumb it down for him even further. "'cuz it's turned some of my own friends and family into vile dirtbags who think the world owes them everything. I'd hate to see ya fall down that same pipeline."

He nodded in slight understanding, but seemed rather sad as he hugged the books to his chest, feeling like his dreams were shattered just as he began to realize them..

"I thought it was just like Barbieland..."

"Ya'll got a matriarchy there?"

"...I guess..? They write all the constitutions and stuff."

"And...how do they treat ya?"

"Like we're accessories." Ken huffed, eyebrows knitted together in frustration. "They aren't terrible, but...I only have a good day when Barbie looks at me..which...hasn't been happening lately. I was thinking if I could show her the cool horses and stuff...she'll see me differently. See me for the man I can be."

You never expected for this conversation to derail into you trying to resolve a doll's identity crisis, but it's clear he was holding onto the misconception that the "Real World" was just opposite of Barbieland--where men had it all here and ruled without flaw.

That was far from the truth.

"Now changin' yourself for a lady isn't what ya wanna do, son." You patted his shoulder, causing him to look up at you in astonishment. "You're good enough as you are. But I take it that deep down...ya just care about the horses?"

He nodded again.

"Then..how about instead of reading this misleading garbage--" You tapped the binder of one of the books "--ya talk to someone who's lived the authentic cowboy life? Somebody with experience?"

Looking all around, he seemed confused for a moment, before his gaze returned to yours. "Like....you?"

"Yup."

"Isn't being a man and wearing this not enough?"

"It's a wee bit more complicated than that. It's hard work. But if you're interested in that sort of life, I can tell ya all about it." You offered, smiling as you watched the grin return to his face.

"I'd love that. Now if I don't need these stupid books, then I'll just--" He went to toss the stack into the nearest trash bin, but you were quick to intervene.

"Hey, hey, hey! Ya can't just throw away school property like that!"

"...but you just called this "garbage"."

"It's a figure of speech, Ken." Sighing, you just shook your head, taking the books off his hands. "You'll learn a lot about that here. Let's just go return these and I'll tell ya all about my life back in Texas. Whatever ya wanna know, I'll do my best to answer."

Ken's eyes shimmered at the prospect of hanging out with another guy..like all the other humans he's seen. That's all he truly wanted, really--just to bond with someone and not be in some aggressive rivalry unlike what he had with the other Kens.

He's lucky he ran into you.

"Can I ask something now?"

"Sure..if it's less than ten words." You humored him.

"Do..you..own..horses..? That's four." He grinned, counting on his fingers just to be sure of it.

"I do. Poor things couldn't take the dry heat of Texas, so they came along with me in a truck. I'll show ya pictures after we return these books."

Ken nodded eagerly, unable to hide his excitement as he followed you back to the library, ready to learn more about your culture.

[thelastofharrington]

steve harrington nsfw alphabet

A/N: you know the drill! the title says exactly what it is lol. i had some fun collaboration from my roommate on this one. nothing super new or original here, but just wanted to throw my two cents in because i looooooooove steve harrigton and i loooooooove this format. enjoy!!! MDNI!!!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Steve has trouble admitting it, but he is literally the sweetest there ever was or ever will be. He does it all, the cuddling, the caresses, the hot baths and massages. Especially after an especially rough go at it, he's right there with you the whole time. But even on the vanilla, missionary, slow days, he's right there with you.

He also needs it himself sometimes, especially if he feels like he's been too rough with you. He gets so carried away sometimes and no matter how affirming you are during the act, he can sometimes feel bad after the fact anyway. It's not unusual to give him a reassuring kiss on the forehead (or 30) after an especially rough session.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Well,,,this is an nsfw alphabet,,, so truthfully, his favorite part of his body is dick. He stays humble for sure, but he knows the truth. He has an unmatched power under those too tight jeans. He loves the way he can make you feel with it, he loves watching you suck on it, he loves how still every time you struggle to take all of it.

Honorable mention: he loves his hair.

His favorite body part of yours, however, is definitely your eyes. It would be easy enough to say your tits or your ass (except he's definitely a boob guy), but truly it is your eyes. He loves how expressive they are, how he knows exactly how you're feeling just based on the slightest change in your eyes. He can see love, he can see desire, he can see excitement or fear. He can read all of it just by the looks of your eyes.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Fact of the matter is, he loves to cum on your face. It's hedonistic and he knows it, but he just gets something so primal out of it. He loves being able to mark you like that, and taking a mental picture every time he gets the chance. Or a secret Polaroid, when you give him the green light.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Steve is pretty much an open book with his partners, and especially you, but to the outside world he has a few. He comes across as a real vanilla softie to the other people in his life, with the childcare and all, but you are one of the few lucky people to know the truth: he loves to dom. He loves to be in control. He loves to watch you beg and whine. But he's not too crazy, he's definitely a soft dom. Not a single thing is done to you that is not out of his desire to bring you closer together and to be as intimate with you as possible.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He is a slut. Or at least he was, until he met you. But not because he loved casual sex - he was just constantly searching for the one. Thank God that's over.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary. His favorite body part of yours is your eyes, after all. He lives for the eye contact. But, this is not to say he is boring or vanilla. He's almost never without his finger on your clit, your leg hoisted up on his shoulder, or his hand around your throat.

He's not the craziest in bed, but he is by far the most earnest and loving, and this makes him the best.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on his mood, but generally he's able to laugh with you. If a leg gets stuck somehow or you knock heads, it's never awkward and the mood is never ruined. He doesn't generally have giggly, light hearted sex, unless he's drunk, but he's a totally safe space to be yourself.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He ain't Steve "The Hair" Harrington for nothing. He's a pretty hair guy from head to toe, chest included. The carpets certainly do match the drapes, but generally speaking, he keeps things more under control south of the equator than on the top of his head. He appreciates the look of it full, but is not above a manscaping.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's incredibly intimate. He loves to be there with you in the moment. He doesn't sacrifice kink or play or intensity for romance, he somehow combines them all seamlessly. You never know what you're going to get when you get into the bedroom (or car...or family video storage closet...or bathroom...), but you never have to worry about it being lacking of intimacy.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When it comes to masturbating, he always prefers to have a live stimuli, if you know what I mean. He's very into watching you touch yourself while he strokes his hard cock from the chair at the end of the bed. There's nothing he loves more than watching you pleasure yourself at the thought of him, right in front of his face.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise. He's great at giving it, but he loves to hear it. He's not proud of his ego, but he's not going to stop you from stroking it (literally). Hearing your pretty little voice whine and beg for him makes it for him. Loves hearing how big he is, how good he's making you feel, how good he looks from above you. He loves it all

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere he can get his hands on you, he's not picky. In fact, he loves the thrill of it thinking you might get caught somehow. He loves holding his hand over your mouth to keep you from moaning too loud if he just had to have you in the middle of a crowded party.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The littlest, most innocent touch from you can get him hot and bothered within seconds. A hand on his chest while you laugh, your knee pressed up against his on the couch next to each other, even holding hands can get him feeling some type of way. He just literally can never get enough of you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not into degradation. This can seem contradictory to his soft dom tendencies, but you will be hard pressed to get him to be actually mean to you. He wouldn't ever hit you (besides the common spanking), would never call you anything degrading. He's all about the praise, the control, the edging, and not so much about the degradation of you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He's no better than any other man, he definitely prefers receiving head, but that doesn't mean he's unskilled. Quite the opposite, actually. He's great at it and when he's in, he's all in. He is a proponent for fair trade, so as much as he loves to receive, he also loves to give.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really just depends on the day, the mood, the weather. He is totally versatile. His favorite, however, is nice and slow. Making you beg for it, savoring every last moment. It may be slow and sensual, but it is not any less intense.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Considering his affinity for sneaking off in public, he is very much so accustomed to the art of the quickie. He loves to be able to go slow with you, but when he knows he can't, he's great at efficiency. You'll be hard pressed to recall a time you didn't cum at least once, regardless of how fast it was

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Steve is ready for whatever it is you throw at him. He can tend to stick to what works, so it's really up to you to provide anything new and exciting, but when you do - he's right there with you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It actually needs to be studied by scientists how he's able to bounce back so fast. The most he ever has gone in one night was 3, but the most he's ever gone in one day? When he's alone with you uninterrupted, he can literally go all day long. His favorite is getting to regain his strength by making you cum on his tongue and fingers over and over and over again. The question quickly turns from how his stamina is, into how is yours?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Canonically, there wasn't much available in the 80s. But he made do with the massagers at hand. The name of his game is and always will be the level of pleasure you experience. There is nothing he loves more than making you cum, he's not picky with the delivery method. But his favorite is holding the wand to your clit while he fucks you, loves the feeling of you constantly squeezing around him while you reconcile the pleasure between the two.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Steve takes everything you do as a tease, he can never get enough of you, that he's always ready to tease right back. He's competitive and doesn't like to lose, but he likes to make you cum even more, so his teasing doesn't usually last long. Even if it is some fun in the moment, especially if you're somewhere in public where he knows he can get you alone relatively soon after.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn't necessarily loud, be he is talkative. He is always talking low in your ear, whispering praises and commands.

"Just like that, pretty girl."

"You're doing so good for me, taking that cock so good."

"You make me feel so good, baby, keep doing that with your mouth."

Never so loud that anyone besides you could hear, but he's always getting the point across.

As for other noises, he's a big whimperer. Especially when his dick is down your throat.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He's a hand holder. He does it out of instinct and reflex, but when he's inside of you his hands automatically find yours. They could be exploring your body, and they definitely do, but their natural landing is your hands. He loves to hold your hands above your head more than anything. It just comes naturally to him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

BIG COCK. BIIIIIIIIIIG COCK. HUGE! Like literally so huge I can't even begin to describe it to you. Also, a very hairy and manly chest.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He literally can't get enough of you or the act. We've already discussed how he's ready to go anytime, any place, with just a simple touch from you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It just depends. It's not uncommon for him to curl up behind you immediately after and fall asleep whispering sweet nothings int your ear, but he also loves the intimacy of staying up all night just hanging out and talking to you. Usually it depends on how intense or rough the sex was, how much it took out of him, but he usually can hang for a good while after.

[superums]

she's everything he's just miles—miles morales x barbie!reader

barbie movie spoilers. fluff mostly. angst in cannon event section. mentions of death. three mentions of "y/n / (name)" in total. you're mostly called spider-barbie. no race mention so anyone can read. spider barbie art (i got inspo from): black ver, braid ver, white ver. 1610 miles! happy national gf day to all who celebrate 🫶🏿💗

color coded text: miles, you/spider-barbie, rio, ken

general headcannons

when miles met you he though you were perfect. covered in pink head to toe—'they're like a doll straight out of the box...' he said breathlessly as he watched your hair seem to perfectly fall back into place despite the pink mask that covered your identity.

'that's because i am one~' you responded and he swore he saw a colorful background of hearts and flowers appear behind you.

you and miles are total opposites, one of you live a a life of imperfection and flaws—from finding out your uncle tried to kill you to be known as the anomaly amongst all the spider people & be called a mistake in-front of his friends just to find out they knew all along—and the other only has perfect days everyday.

his parents love you! at first they were a little iffy, you wore all pink and had a big hair due. "the bigger hair, the more secrets!" rio would say as she tried to persuade him to go after someone else, someone who could speak spanish.

jeff thought you were a gold digger (even though miles had no gold whatsoever), and tried to say you're a bad influence but now he views you like his own daughter (both of them do!).

when it's major holidays (valentines day, christmas, national barbie day ect.) mile likes to get/make you something. last valentines he got you this big spiderman plush that you keep on your bed no matter how much it contrasts with your dream house because he got it for you.

your gifts fall a little flat because none of the kens fashion packs really fit miles and none of your worlds art supplies are actually real so instead you always take him to barbie land for a day just so you two can do fun things together like beach and have a choreographed dance party.

he loves barbie land trust me but he dose get a little jealous. some of the kens there really like you and he feels like he kind of has to try a little more to get your attention because they keep trying to show off.

speaking of ken you have one and he feels a little insecure whenever he's around even though he knows you don't like ken like that. "you're literally made for each other." he says and you can't really debate that because it is true to an extent but you always reassure him that you love only him.

"i may be made for ken but ken isn't made for what i need like you are." you bring both your hands down to his and hold it tight. "please don't think less of yourself because of ken's, they're not who i like, you are."

speaking of jealousy

sometimes he gets jealous of you ngl. he wants to live in a world where you can just float from your roof to your pink cadillac, fight crime and still make time for the mall, the beach and girls night every night.

when he comes to you visibly upset about the things he goes through—his dad, school, his villians, his friends he tells you all about hoe he wishes his world was easy like yours.

you however tell him that his dimension isn't so bad—going to birthday parties, to see children and the elderly smile, watching the smiling faces as spider saves new york again—"your worlds amazing, you just think it's bad because thats all you know." you always tell him as you hug him from behind. miles always seemed to agree as he would quiet down after that "yeah i guess it ain't so bad..."

when you're in his world he practically holds your hand like someone is going to steal him from you. he gets nervous because even though he's spiderman he has no idea what he's gonna do if someone cat calls you or trys to slap your ass. especially in new york like what if they shoot him yk???

when you're with him you always wear things like like this[the green ones]or this [the yellow one] and he always gives you the best compliments, sometimes if you wear a dress he peaks at your butt a little when you walk ahead of him but he tries to be respectful!! his mother would tear him up if she found out he wasn't.

when you found out a way to make that peice of plastic of a phone to actually work you made him open up a instagram for you now u just post pictures and close the not knowing the evil that lurks (misogynists)

his nicknames for you are bonita and carriño (im a miles wouldn't say that (mamas) believer😼) and sometimes he calls you bella but he reserves it for when you take his breath away (when ever u invite him to barbie land galas every other week)

your terms are a little outdated because of the time period you were 'made' in but you call him things like darling, sugar and dear but you've started adding sweetheart, baby and honey to your selection after he joked that you sound like a grandma one time☹️

your cannon event

entering your second/third year of being spider-barbie things got difficult in barbie world. [after the events of the barbie movie] you suddenly got villains—two deranged doctors, and even your own ken. not only did they seem to come back just to get revenge but they also get more and more difficult to defeat.

it started with a glitter shortage and now you've had to fight your ken who's become a venom variant. your ken was jealous that you were spider-barbie while he was just a variant of news reporter ken and he tried to become spiderman himself by infecting himself with some mysterious substance.

now the two of you are fighting in a burning building.

"ken stop this isn't you!" you dodge his heavy punches. it was getting super hot and the building was about to collapse. the both of you are surrounded the flames. "ken please stop this.." you tried to reason with him but a strong inky black hand wrapped around your throat.

your pink lenses were broken—you were feeling light headed now snd the fire was making it worse. "please..." a tear rolled from your face to venoms as you started to see stars surround your vision. you tried to kick your feet to get him to stop it but it only met with the hard, unmoving mass of venom.

one by one the ceiling started to fall in and venom could only laugh as he saw you struggling. venoms long tongue came out of his mouth and his spikey teeth started to retract as he inched closer to your head. he was going to eat you.

by a miracle a burning beam narrowly missed you and fell on him. gasping as you fell on your back narrowly missing the fire you turned to the inky black figure. "ken!?" limping to him you saw your other half struggling under the beam. "(name)....?"

"i'll save you!" you put your webs on the burning beam you tried your best to move it. you were too weak. crying you put your other web on it, struggling to move the object.

"(name), go on without me..." kens voice wavered as he searched for your hidden eyes. the inky black substance of venom seemed to slip off of him like water. "but i need you!" you reached for kens face only as more support beams fell from the ceiling.

hearing footsteps you turned around, there was a cop in the doorway if the wear-house, holding the black pistol to you, you had no choice but to leave, no one knows you're spider-barbie.

you don't know this but your universe and everyone else's is heavily connected through the toy line (like in the movie) so your line of toys was very effected by your cannon event

theres mattel branded action figures when you're crying holding kens picture, theres toys where you're called 'depressed spider-barbie' and they're even selling play-sets where your dream house is in disarray

when miles found out he had to call you but they went unanswered. you've been m.i.a for almost three days, you haven't answered any of the texts messages or calls that your friends sent you and they knew someone had to reach you because the your toy products we're getting sadder by the hour.

crying into the spider-man plush that miles had given you. hugging yourself you didn't notice miles come through the portal—"(name) are you okay?" he put his hand on your waist as he sat on the edge of your bed. he knew you weren't.

you were wearing a shirt took from him and you hair and makeup weren't even done. "miles i.." you looked into his eyes, his brown irises full of worry. he brought his hand to your face as a way to soothe you but he's not good at this like he wants to be.

"it's nothing." you said as you turned your head to wipe the tears off your face. "please don't act like that bonita.." you knew you shouldn't do this to him—but you aren't made for this and neither is he. "i had my event today." was all you could muster before you cried into him. "i know i know..." he said as he rubbed your back.

he tries his best to get you away from barbie land for a bit. gwen, hobie and pavitr handle the crime while you recover.

he brought you to his home and had to beg his parents to lets you sleep in his room, in him bed with him, and at first rio almost hit the back of his head with such a ridiculous question

but then she saw how broken you looked. "jeff this is serious their makeup and hair aren't done.." they caved but he had to keep the door open which he had no problem with.

he distracts you with playing video games, or going out to festivals and carnivals just to clear your head.

it took a week for you to feel better enough to go back to barbie land and when you left your toys changed to something different.

"spider-barbie has a new boyfriend!" news articles were everywhere—imagine miles' surprise when he saw him in his spiderman suit carrying you through barbie land. they named him ken carson and made him dominican but he'll take it.

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. {Laughing} Like that's ever gonna happen. {Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes} What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was lookin' kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead The years start comin' and they don't stop comin' Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin' Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow Hey, now You're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait till you get older But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire How 'bout yours That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored Hey, now, you're an all-star {Shouting} Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold {Belches} Go! Go! {Record Scratching} Go. Go.Go. Hey, now, you're an all-star Get your game on, go play Hey, now You're a rock star Get the show on, get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold -Think it's in there? -All right. Let's get it! -Whoa.

Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? -Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. {Laughs} -Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint. Now, ogres - - They're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. -No! -They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. -Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! {Gasping} -Right. {Roaring} {Shouting} {Roaring} {Whispers} This is the part where you run away. {Gasping} {Laughs} {Laughing} And stay out! "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures." {Sighs} {Man's voice} All right. This one's full. -Take it away! {Gasps} -Move it along. Come on! Get up! -Next! -Give me that! Your fiying days are over. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! -Get up! Come on! -Twenty pieces. {Thudding} -Sit down there! -Keep quiet! {Crying} -This cage is too small. -Please, don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! -Oh, shut up. -Oh! -Next! -What have you got? -This little wooden puppet. -I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. -Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. -Father, please! Don't let them do this! -Help me! -Next! What have you got? -Well, I've got a talking donkey. {Grunts} -Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. -Oh, go ahead, little fella. -Well? -Oh, oh, he's just - - He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - - -That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! -No, no, he talks! He does.

I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw. -Get her out of my sight. -No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! {Gasps} -Hey! I can fly! -He can fly! -He can fly! -He can talk! -Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Oh-oh. {Grunts} -Seize him! -After him! He's getting away! {Grunts, Gasps} {Man} -Get him! This way! Turn! -You there. Orge! -Aye? -By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated..... resettlement facility. -Oh, really? You and what army? {Gasps, Whimpering} {Chuckles} -Can I say something to you? -Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! Are you talkin' to - - me? Whoa! -Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. -Oh, that's great. Really. -Man, it's good to be free. -Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? -But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're mean, green, fightin' machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. {Roaring} -Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me sayin', if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks! You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - {Mumbling} Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day. -Why are you following me? -I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone There's no one here beside me My promlems have all gone There's no one to deride me But you gotta heve friends - - -Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't have any friends. -Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest. -Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? -Uh - - Really tall? -No! I'm an orge! You know.

"Grab your torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that bother you? -Nope. -Really? -Really, really. -Oh. -Man, I like you. What's you name? -Uh, Shrek. -Shrek? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that, Shrek. You all right. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want to live in place like that? -That would be my home. -Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. -I guess you don't entertain much, do you? -I like my privacy. -You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You've trying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. There's that awkward silence. -Can I stay with you? -Uh, what? -Can I stay with you, please? -Of course! -Really? -No. -Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay! Please! Please! -Okay! Okay! But one night only.

-Ah! Thank you! -What are you - - No! No! -This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles. -Oh! -Where do, uh, I sleep? -Outside! -Oh, well. I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. {Sniffles} -Here I go. -Good night. {Sighs} -I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. I'm all alone There's no one here beside me {Bubbling} {Sighs} {Creaking} {Sighs} -I thought I told you to stay outside. -I'm outside. {Clattering} -Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? -It's not home, but it'll do just fune. -What a lovely bed. -Got ya. {Sniffs} I found some cheese. -Ow! {Grunts} -Blah! Awful stuff. -Is that you, Gorder? -How did you know? -Enough! What are you doing in my house? {Grunts} -Hey! {Snickers} -Oh, no, no, no. Dead broad off the table. -Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. -Huh? {Gusps} {Male voice} What? -I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying orge! What do I have to do get a little privacy? -Aah! -Oh, no. No! No! {Cackling} -What? -Quit it. -Don't push. {Squeaking} {Lows} - What are you doing in my swamp? {Echoing} Swamp! Swamp! Swamp! {Gasping} -Oh, dear! -Whoa! -All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! -Quickly. Come on! -No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. -Oh! {Sighs} -Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them. -Oh, gosh, no one invited us. -What? -We were forced to come here. -By who? -Lord Farquaad. -He huffed und he puffed und he...... signed an eviction notice. {Sighs} -All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? {Murmuring} -Oh, I do. I know where he is.

-Does anyone else know where to find him? Anyone at all? -Me! Me! -Anyone? -Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! {Sighs} -Okay, fine. Attention, all fairy tale things. Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially worn out. In fact, I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! {Cheering} {Twittering} -Oh! You! You're comin' with me. - All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure. I love it! -On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek. -Hey. Oh, oh! -I can't wait to get on the road again. -What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Can I hum it? -All right, hum it. {Humming} {Grunts} {Whimpering} -That's enough. He's ready to talk. {Coughing} {Laughing} {Clears throat} -Run, run, run, as fust as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man! -You are a monster. -I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me!{Grunts} -I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll - -

-No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons. -All right then. Who's hiding them? -Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? -The muffin man? -The muffin man. -Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin man. -The muffin man? -The muffin man! -She's married to the muffin man. {Door opens} -My lord! We found it. -Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. {Man grunting} {Gasping} -Oh! -Magic mirror - - -Don't tell him anything! -No! {Ginerbread man whispers} -Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? -Well, technically you're not a king. -Uh, Thelonius. -You were saying? -What I mean is, you're not a king yet. But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess. -Go on. {Chuckles} -So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are! Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot tubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Please welcome Cinderella. -Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the land of fancy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy.

Just kiss her dead, frozen lips and find out what a live wire she is. Come on. Give it up for Snow White! -And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina colads and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona! -So will it be bachelorette number one, bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three? -Two! Two! -Three! Three! -Two! Two! -Three! -Three? One? {Shudders} Three? --Three! Pick number three, my lord! -Okay, okay, uh, number three! -Lord Farquaad, you've chosen Princess Fiona. If you like pina coladas And getting caught in the rain -Princess Fiona. If you're not into yoga -She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone who can go - - -But I probably should mention the little thing that happens at night. -I'll do it. -Yes, but after sunset - - -Silence! I will make this Princess Fiona my queen, and DuLoc will finally have the perfect king! Captain, assemble your finest men. We're going to have a tournament. -But that's it. That's it right there. That's DuLoc. I told ya I'd find it. -So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle. -Uh-huh. That's the place. -Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? {Laughs} {Groans} -Hey, wait. Wait up, Shrek. -Hurry, darling. We're late. Hurry. -Hey, you! {Screams} -Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just - - I just - - {Whimpering} {Sighs} {Whimpering, Groans} {Turnstile clatters} {Chuckles} {Sighs} -It's quiet. Too quiet. {Creaking} -Where is everybody? -Hey, look at this! {Clattering, whirring, clicking} Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don't make waves, stay in line And we'll get along fine DuLoc is perfect place

Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes, wipe your... face DuLoc is, DuLoc is DuLoc is perfect ...... place {Camera shutter clicks {Whirring} -Wow! Let's do that again! -No. No. No, no, no! No. {Trumpet fanfare} {Crowd cheering} -Brave knights. -You are the best and brightest in all the land. -Today one of you shall prove himself - - -All right. You're going the right way for a smacked bottom. -Sorry about that. {Cheering} -That champion shall have the honor - - no, no - - the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place and so on and so forth. Some of you mae die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. {Cheering} -Let the tournament begin! {Gasps} -Oh! -What is that? {Gasping} -It's hideous! -Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. -Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named champion! Have it him! -Get him! -Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now. -Go ahead! Get him! -Can't we just settle this over a pint? -Kill the beast! -No? All right then. Come on! I don't give a damn about my reputation You're living in the past It's a new generation -Damn! {Whinnying} A girl can do what she wants to do And that's what I'm gonna do And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me Me, me, me -Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me! And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

just so everyone knows, there are like 5 other asks with the rest of the Shrek script in my inbox…..

but i’m only posting this one, so you’re all so very welcome!!!

(also thank you so very much @genlossicle, your commitment is astounding and very much appreciated lol)

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Clover's personality (in-depth)

This thing turned out way longer than intended. As promised, I wrote my opinions in regards to Clover's mbti; I also wanted to include the enneagram but figured it would be too much, so I'll do that separaretly. For those who wanna get straight to the point, just scroll to the end of the post for a pic of the functions I think Clover has. But if you want more details, read the whole thing. Probably not many people will wanna do that, but I had fun, lol. Please excuse me for nerding out

Analysis

Even before they got into the Underground, Clover thought to themselves "Ok, this is a dangerous mountain and I ain't coming back, I'm probably gonna die and therefore not live to see the rest of my life play out BUT I'm gonna follow my values anyway. They're worth the risk." To me, right off the bat, that's Fi over Ti (aka inner values and morals over inner facts and logic).

I've done some research on this stuff and found out how "Fi knows the value of something not by analyzing it but by feeling it deep inside themselves that it is how it should be" Ti has to be as objective as possible, Fi doesn't. So I sat down and thought about how exactly Clover approached situations.

I feel like their main reasoning for being in the Underground were their inner values and beliefs of finding out what happened to the children. That's why I'd say they're an introvert rather than an extrovert (it's not because they're quiet and reserved, although they are, but because Clover's inner world affects their outer world). Now, both Ti and Fi look inward, and those inner thoughts and feelings affect how they interact with the external world. The real question is: is Clover objective enough to be considered a dominant Ti user?

We can see in the Vengeance route that Clover is stubborn with their beliefs and refuses to look at things from a more... logical POV: "Asgore killed five humans. Is it fair to wipe out every other monster in my way who gives me even the slightest reason to do it?" Martlet was the only exception because she was the only one who had tried to be nice and understanding. Clover's dark side is that they're tunnel-visioned and see morality as black and white (don't look deeper as to WHY the monsters do what they do), and blindly follow their own beliefs over what objectively makes sense. Just like Ceroba, who I'm positive is a feeler (she only considers how she felt about Chujin and not how skilled of an engineer he actually was, even when there's clear proof he wasn't the best at his job). 

Objectively, it's not fair to kill so many monsters after only five humans were killed. If Clover wanted fair vengeance, they would have stopped after five monsters were killed. But no. According to Clover's own logic, everyone morally imperfect, everyone who's hurt them, who tried to hurt them, or messed up somehow, must die. So, Clover isn't thinking about what makes sense; they're thinking about what makes sense to THEM, and stubbornly hold onto that till the end (again, like Ceroba), even after Martlet's warnings. She says how the Royal Guard will be after them.

The logical (T) thing to do would be to STOP before things become even messier, but once again, no. Clover doesn't care about the consequences, only fulfilling their mission that is driven by their own set of values. No matter which route you choose, you will be presented with Clover's own version of what "justice" means. It's not the objective truth, it's not what's the logical thing to do; they follow their own framework based on their (our) choices.

"If unhealthy INFPs are dealing with threatened values or viewpoints that oppose their own, they can go the other way and imagine that others are all corrupt, thinking badly of them, and deluded. They may see themselves as the only people who see “the truth”, or the only people who really care to make a difference in the world. They can become especially harsh and critical of others and take on a martyr role, gradually secluding themselves from other people". - this feels like geno Clover; they thought they were the hero but they were playing the villain all along

Now that I think about it, the logical thing to do, the one that makes the most sense, would be never to have entered Mt. Ebott in the first place. And if vengeance was what Clover wanted to do, it is fair and makes objective sense to kill only five monsters (since that's how many humans died). But as explained, Clover didn't follow that logical conclusion, but rather their own twisted sense of justice. The same goes for neutral. It's Clover who chooses who gets to live and who gets to die based on their own beliefs and feelings, which are not backed up by facts. Everything they do they do because they themselves feel like it should be done. They are the one who decide who gets to live and who doesn't based on their own opinion/how severe they think the misdeed of the final boss is. This counts for the regular monsters who attack them, too; again, THEIR own subjective decision.

For example, they might see Dalv's actions as acceptable/forgiveable and spare him, but not Starlo's and kill him. Objectively, both characters are messy in their own way, but Clover gets to be the "judge" and decide their fate, not objectively looking at the situation, but subjectively. In short, according to them, Dalv may deserve to live, but not Starlo. 

And even if they're a dominant Ti user, which I don't think they are, Clover is more past and future-oriented than present-oriented (N over S). As mentioned, they thought about how much they'd risk by going down Mt. Ebott (potentially dying, and definitely never seeing the surface ever again, or their family) but they followed their heart's desires; to them, morals and ethics (their own morals and ethics) were more important than what the more logical thing to do was (stay on the surface where it's safe).

In other words, they could already "predict" what would happen in the future, while in the present moment (the beginning of the journey).

And right before sacrificing their soul in pacifist, they think about how their death would affect ALL the monsters in the future, whether they had directly met and befriended them or not, even though they wouldn't be there to see it.

Clover seems to be able to easily move between the past, present and future, unlike sensors, who are mainly in the present moment (this is what I've heard somewhere at some point and remembered it, dunno how true it is). They can easily recall the past, and what they remember are things that moved them on the inside.

I've heard some of my friends say that Clover's character arc was to become a kinder person (develop their Fe), which, honestly, I don't think is the case. They simply acted on their inner views of what justice truly means, without further analyzing whatever they believed justice to be.

In pacifist, they're naturally selfless and kind and forgiving: a bit of a prankster, but they're one of "the best souls" according to Martlet. Just look at the ACT options that they used to befriend monsters. Quietly listens to Decibat, offers Dalv a handshake (and friendship), easily forgives Martlet, Starlo, and even Ceroba (+ gives her a hug), endures so many hardships yet keeps their heart pure and selfless. 

They were always driven by something bigger than themselves (like Chujin, who I also think is a N user).

ISTPs are more adventurous and independent and flexible and focused on current problems in the present moment; Clover has been future-oriented from the start; they depended on Toriel to take care of them, and didn't try to immediately "adapt" to the monster world. Their 1st reaction was to stay safe and cozy. ESTJs (yeah, at some point I thought Clover could be one) are more "ruthless" in their pursuits, they "force" others to adopt their inner values. Clover doesn't do this in any route; they simply act upon their own beliefs, but aren't demanding that other monsters to have those same beliefs.

That's why I think they're an INFP.

Functions

Fi (dominant) – "If something goes against their moral code, they will not go through with it." It went against Clover’s moral code to spare monsters in genocide and abort the mission, so they didn’t, regardless of Martlet’s warnings.

"Fi dominants are inclined to speak up against beliefs or actions that go against their personal values or express disapproval of certain behaviors." I can't find the screenshot, but in the Mines, if you interact with the character who's in the same room as one of the puzzles, Clover will find out how that character pulled a prank on that guy who later got a promotion in the pacifist end credits (I need to reply the game to find the screenshot). But basically Clover was upset that their own morals weren't met and gave them a "disapproving look" or smth

"Ti dominants most often feel compelled to speak out when people are acting inconsistent (ie: contradicting themselves) or when people are being illogical from the Ti user’s perspective." I think Clover reacted to the above situation as a Fi user

"Unlike Fe users, Fi users are very blunt and direct. Fi and Te creates a person who is brutally honest about their opinions and feelings. If they don’t like a person, they will let that person know." Not a person in this case, but an example of this are the options we get for Martlet's questionnaire. Clover will have no problem honestly giving her the lowest scores for both questions; we also also get the chance to honestly tell Ceroba that we're not into Starlo's training. There are these cases where they're direct as well:

...and blunt:

they would have given at least a smile or a thumbs up, but no, their honest opinion is their honest opinion

"They appear cold and withdrawn, but tend to warm up as they get to know a person."

Ne (auxiliary) – "Ne views a situation from multiple angles and motivations" I feel like this is best seen in pacifist; this is exactly why Clover decided to give up their soul in the end; they saw all the motivations of the monsters, from many different angles. On the flip side, in the vengeance route, it’s the complete opposite situation: Clover only looks at things from their own pov, completely disregarding others. That’s the thing about the INFP dark side: INFPs become "disillusioned or stuck in their ways." This 100% describes Clover at their worst: stuck in their ways is already explained, while we can say they were disillusioned when even Martlet turned against them/gave up on them (in Genocide). That was enough of a reason for Clover not to feel bad about finishing her off. They never liked her, but they definitely liked her more than anyone else, so I’d say it counts.

"Creative, open-minded, and able to think outside the box" We can say Clover’s creative when they build Axis’ robot companion, solved the two puzzles in the Mines, they’re also most likely into role-playing just like Starlo, based on their clothes (and they seemed into the whole larping thing with him), and how they seem to be into drawing; open-minded, definitely (Clover with everyone; the pacifist route in a nutshell); able to think outside the box (this goes hand in hand with them being creative: I forgot to mention the many creative ways they found to befriend monsters)

"Ne lives in the present like Se does but makes connections to past and future." Imo, this is exactly what Clover does (their sacrifice in the future, and all the things other monsters had said to them in the past; however, they DO interact with the present world at the same time. This is what I meant when I mentioned how they "jump from and connect all 3")

Si (tertiary) – "happy in their comfort zone" Is this Clover? Yeah. Initially, this was their "default" reaction/behavior: with Toriel. They subconsciously became more independent thanks to good old Flowey. As I said, their values led them to take the risk and come into the Underground in the first place, not adventure/excitement (the way I see it). Were they also seeking the truth? Yeah again, they wanted to know the truth behind the whole situation, but I think it had more to do with how they had found the fact that no other humans bothered to look for the kids immoral.

"Si users may draw on their past experiences to guide their present actions and decisions" Example, how the detailed lines they remembered everyone said in true pacifist, influenced them to make the decision to die in the present moment. Or when they asked Ceroba if she would date Starlo, after hearing and remembering Crestina mention his crush on her beforehand, wanting to set them up.

"Si users have a strong memory for past experiences and details" Yep, explained above. Also, dunno if this counts as noticing details, but we can make them beat the Shufflers’ game with ease.

"Si users are typically practical and realistic in their approach to solving problems" The Snowdin mini-quests come to mind (although they use past information here too to figure out what each character needs to be helped). Also, how they fixed the elevator by using a pickaxe (most practical & realistic choice). They’re also pretty rational while dealing with Guardener, and in general, while dealing with enemies.

Te (inferior) – I guess this is why I suspected they could be an ESTJ.

"seen as leaders" By everyone.

"Come up with ideas quickly" Pretty much throughout the game. They’re more low-key about this than ESTJs though.

"Ruthlss and domineering" This is them in vengeance route

"Extraverted Thinkers recognize the emotional content, but then they set it aside to focus on the facts" I feel like this inferior function of theirs is mostly seen in flawed pacifist. They recognized Ceroba’s emotional situation, but chose to be fair and just instead.

"Te users are logical" Recognizing the dangers of the Underground and deciding to stay with Toriel. We can also say it makes sense that Clover attacked those who attacked them first, and finished Ceroba off (Te is what is objective, but from the external world)

"Though they are generally free spirits, they like to have a certain order in their lives. They do enjoy structure, just as long as it does not intrude with their feelings/morals/ethics/etc. They like to be the ones to create the structure, not to have the structure to be created for them."  Vengeance route and Clover’s "mission" come to mind. Basically, the structure is that, whoever Clover sees as morally flawed, gets to die. And they stick to it

tl;dr this picture pretty much explains the way I see Clover's functions in a nutshell ↓

[monkeymindscream]

ngl watched the toh ending and thought you would hate this

First of all, kind of honored I take up enough space in your mind for you to see something and think "wow, this person on the internet I know of ain't gonna like this." That's very sweet Anon, thank you for sharing this with me.

Secondly, I didn’t… hate-hate it. I had a fun time watching it! And if I ONLY cared about the protags, I would have been very happy with it!

Unfortunately, I overwhelmingly care about properly telling a good story. Like even if Belos hadn’t been my absolute favorite, I’d be kind of disgusted with how much of their own plot the show left to be inferred.

"It was just Belos's backstory, the plot didn't need to go into detail for him-" Belos is the reason there even WAS a plot. Quite literally everything of importance that happened in the show happened as a direct result of his actions.

He formed the Emperor's Coven → Lilith and Eda have to duel to get in → Lilith curses Eda to win the duel → Eda doesn't join a coven at all and becomes a criminal → while on the run from the EC she finds King → to make a living she hocks human stuff → Owlbert steals Luz's book → the show happens.

Leaving out the backstory/the deeper look into the motives of the guy driving the entire plot (after teasing the fuck out of it, might I add) is comparable to only hinting that Lilith was the one to curse Eda, but never elaborating on it. Because truly, why bother hinting at that stuff if nothing at all was going to be done with it? From a storytelling perspective, it's appalling.

And before anyone tries to use "it's because the show got cancelled!" as reasoning, don't. They had options for how to handle this. They wanted Philly to have the paper-flat character they seemed hellbent on giving him? Cut Caleb out entirely. "A single overzealous puritan stumbles on a world inhabited entirely by witches and demons and conspires to destroy them." There. Clean, simple, doesn't leave any holes. They wanted to keep the whole "good brother/evil brother" angle? (which by the way: still the most boring, bullshit angle I've ever seen) Leave out the Collector. Take the time used on him and put it towards Caleb and the Wittebane history.

And before anyone tries to argue about that, I'll leave you with the fact that Dana decided to add the Collector after she was told the show was being cut short. She KNOWINGLY chose to take the already very limited time she had left to tell her story and dedicate it to a flight of fancy rather than actually tie up the loose ends she set up.

That's what I hated about this last episode. Once the adrenaline of watching it for the first time wore off, there was really nothing left but disappointment and a sense of this could have been BETTER. And there's no real reason I can think of for why it's not better, which is. Infuriating.

[mazeinthemiroh]

you said we could spam you with requests??? AH you just opened up so many possibilities for me <3333 could you do a skz reaction for them showering w their s/o for the first time?? i love them sm <3 your work is amazing

stray kids reactions to showering with their s/o for the first time

genre: fluff, crack, suggestive

word count: 0.6k

warnings: cursing

pls like and reblog if you enjoyed! feel free to request anything <3

bangchan

he's the one to suggest it obviously. he will randomly say to you "hey, you wanna... save water with me?" and then laughs hysterically like the dork that he is. he will look at you with the biggest grin you've ever seen as he starts giggling at your reaction. of course you say yes to your boyfriend's cheesy request. he's so excited it's actually hilarious, he can't stop looking at you and touching you and smiling his head off. you can't help but adore him.

lee know

this little shit- okay so he will make flirty comments the whole time just for the sake of it. and also he will grab the shower head and run the shower cold only to point it at you because he loves CHAOS. you were expecting a peaceful shower time with your boyfriend? i'm sorry to break it to you but that ain't happening. i think you are much safer having a bath because he's fully relaxed and occupied with the bubbles <3

changbin

gosh, he's all over the idea for real. he can't stop grinning when you step in the shower with him, dork number 2. his hands are all over you, he can't even help it. from your hips to your back to running his fingers through your hair. he also loves it when you turn him around and massage his shoulders and back, because he needs it. the way your fingers kneed into his joints perfectly, in just the right way. the whole situation is like heaven to him.

hyunjin

honestly, he would've preferred to have a bath with you. he's a romantic guy, he likes the idea of you chilling in the tub together and enjoying each other's presence. but he is still excited about showering with you. he will be bossy though. he tells you to pamper him, wash his hair for him, and treat him like the prince that he is. which you happily oblige to, of course. and seeing the little smile on his face warms your heart more than anything else.

han

it's like the most casual thing in the world to him. some people would be flustered and shy about showering with their partner for the first time but NOPE. not hannie. he's a confident king. confident in himself and in you and in your relationship. without even asking you he's lathering shampoo in your hair and starts talking your ear off about the corrupt society we live in or about the cute pokemon key chain he found at the store yesterday. best shower ever.

felix

it's a very fluffy occasion for you both. like hyunjin, he would like to have a bath with you too, just to chill and relax, but he doesn't care either way, so long as he is with you >.< he will do your hair and essentially take care of you in any way you need him. so respectful and caring and gentle. after the shower, he loves to grab a massive, fluffy towel and envelope the both of you inside it <///3

seungmin

"hey, seungmin, you want to have a shower with me?" "why?" "because... it'll be fun?" "okay but whyyy?" "because... i want to?" "yeah, but why do you want t-" "seungmin!!" that's essentially how the conversation would go. he's just so confused about why you would want to have a shower with him. but once you finally get him in there, he sees why... you catch him staring at you and then looking away bashfully, avoiding eye contact altogether. he's acting like he did before he started dating you, and you find that adorable.

jeongin

is as bright as a tomato when you even suggest the idea. will take him about a whole-ass week for him to prepare himself mentally for this and when the time finally comes he is still not ready. he suddenly becomes very interested in the walls of the shower, the shower head, the shampoo and conditioner sitting on the side; basically keeping his eyes occupied on anything that isn't you.

[bahja-blix]

😐💀 A Dumbass Appeared (Ask Edition) A post regarding Viv Stans (Part 2)

Before we begin I want to say that I will absolutely not be censoring the person in this for valid reasons. I'll however censor the people who are just regular visitors.

What brilliance unfolds in my ask box? They put themselves out there on purpose "because reason"... I guess?

Reminder This is the Internet, you put yourself out there, your out there forever and if you do something stupid or say something stupid, your idiocy might go viral enough where you get called out so don't expect people to cover you up when YOU did this To Yourself

When I changed my bio to say "Bored ASF, Ask a Goth" I didn't mean be a god damn loser and make up shit on purpose for Bait reasons.

Yes this is real and Yes these were sent by a Viv Stan and it's OBVIOUSLY Bait but I still wanted to review it just for fun because I was literally laughing my ass off and I ain't even high!! 🤣 that And the actual person was Serious about deleting their profile along with taking the time to remove one by one every like and post from their profile which is hilarious. I didn't even make a post at the time and they disappear Anyway 😂. So I had absolutely no option to respond regardless. Lol you didn't think I'd see that but I did LMAO. You took the time to send me this but couldn't take a couple seconds to block me right after so I don't see your profile disappear but I guess you're just that stupid. What stopped you from just deleting your account without going through lengths to type this shit up?

We start with Kona, a boot lickin Viv stan living in denial over the fact that their obviously a Viv Stan. I said I wasn't going to answer this but this is HORRIBLE 😂 How could I Not share!

I love how you literally sat here and took the time to go ""Anonymous"" on the first ask you sent me showing your name and profile only to turn around and send me Another ask and Then another begging to me down on your knees basically telling me to forget I saw your ass 🤣🤣🤣

Omfgfgfggg🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely applaud how you "went out of your way to ALL these critics" like your some kinda Big Dawg white knighting for Viv telling us to "Listen up" because God Damnit "This town ain't Big Enough for the two of us" only to completely disappear off the face of the earth because you knew I saw your ass and you got scared.

I'm assuming you saw my last post where I said "Stick it" when referring to someone else that didn't agree with the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community...so you took it to heart and used it in the ask!? Did my post offend you 🥺🥺🥺? Omg I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a boot licking Viv Stan... I truly am (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

So... you attack Showtoonz for no reason other than *Double Checks Notes* ahh here we go "Having valid opinions" fresh off the table *chef kiss excuse* lol

LMAO they really said "Ass takes" omg no wayyy 😂

I also applaud how you basically said that the entirety of the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community an "embarrassment to our democracy" lol where that come from? and that the best argument you can come up with is that "*ughhh* your all "cOnSeRvAtIvEs" like did you travel across time and space through the Internet, see my page, and pretend to get triggered over the fact that I'm p***tically balanced in every direction?? Open minded if you will!? What does critiquing a show have to do with what's going on outside in the world? You do realize a lot of these people critiquing Viv Are in fact Democrats (me included in that spectrum) that Were fans of Viv and don't agree with Viv because she messes shit up on purpose 😂

Love how your one of those people that's obviously too far on the edge who are an actual embarrassment to society because this is the shit you put out there along with the

"YoUr NoT oNe Of Us" argument because what else would you pull out of your ass like legit your literally the type of person that likes to sniff your own fucking farts... Geez

I can't stop laughing 🤣

"One of Us! One of Us! Gooble gobble, Gooble gobble, One of Us! One of Us!" Like I can't. We Dems ain't gonna bow down to you and kiss your ass like your some kind of King so you might as well get over it buttercup

Regarding the last one for Bait reasons you decided to bring janky brained Joe into this... What a legend! You really showed us Dems the middle finger and went "Fuck ALL of You" 😂 Hey pal I'm NGL, but all I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so into your own p***tical fart clouds so much because all that methane n shit will clog up your thinking.

"OMG I've been exposed by my own "Brilliance" in taking down these critics, please don't expose me"

W H E E Z E !!!

this last bits my favorite part

"*Clears throat* "If you disagree with me I'm going to "delete my account"

(Welp I guess I disagree with you :D, have a nice day ^^ Adios!! 🤣) Wait? You were actually Serious??? 🤣🤣🤣

"run to Twitter" with all my problems (because of course your one of those losers) and "bitch" to my two followers that "Will raise all hell" down onto those "Antis" who are so Mean and Negative where my post is sure to go viral enough to take down the entire critical community and reap their rights away from them"

Without any proof, but instead your tail tucked between your legs as you run and hide.

PA THETIC

Managed to get this on the way out. A Viv Stan in denial who's also a hypocrite. Oh but we "anti Viv Stan critics" have "ass takes" and "no valid criticism" You blindly support woomy... The same person who attacked multiple people in our communities for having valid opinions!

Fucking Cringe dude

[wonryllis]

MOOT GAME : " put your moots and their biases in a prompt generator and rate them!! "

only if u want to ^^

、ㅤ🍓 ⋆ ࣪ 午 MOOTS IN PROMPT GENERATOR ᵎᵎ

that's such a creative game! loved doing this!! since this is an enblr account i've only done enha bias,, included everyone except those who have left or are inactive or whose bias i don't know. (p.s. @okwonyo this is the one i suspected was you :) ( MUTUALS )

@jaesvelvet ( cha )

jay. cuteee 8/10 and then taking pictures and getting sad when the cast comes off but really like drawing on cast is therapeutic.

sunghoon. that's straight up soft romance like ahhh 10/10 sucks for that friend to see y'all lovey dovey even in sleep but that's literally the purest thing everrrr

heeseung. now this is my thing, we're getting on to the real deal everything/10 can read this trope thousand times and still love love love it though cha it'll be pretty sad for you bae.

@hoes4hoseok ( piper ) & @heelvsted ( rin ) & @boyfhee ( caelin )

jay. this is crack, full of crack but this trope is saurrr good one of the best of all times and piper would probably elevate it even further obvious x obvious 11/10 we all love that don't we.

heeseung. oh my god rin you living in a f2l fanfic this is so good and cute and fluffy like 17/10 imagine lee heeseung cheering you up with his silly jokes and rizzless(full) attempts at flirting. if you ain't falling for him there's and then, then you are god's strongest soldier.

heeseung. this is 1000000/10 this is so unique, don't know if it's cael's cup of tea but it's definitely mine! crack and romance,,, next level of crack like imagine cael getting her enemies to lovers arc after becoming a ghost and scaring the daylights out of people, fun right?

@jangwonie ( fae ) & @atrirose ( seiu ) & @jungqkook ( aurora/haru )

jungwon. this is totally my type again, the sick in love would do anything to see you happy tolerate all your shit, find it adorable ... 99/10 those lovesick eyes that watch you tell the most unhinged thing and think of how much they love you and how cute you are and how much you mean to them. like okayyyyy that's love.

riki. so cute so cute so cute so cute,,, love/10 literally so good sei is living in her own yn world and we are all just side characters. and not to mention this is so riki too he'd definitely fight and then somehow be discovered by the one he has feelings for and they boom the awkward confession and kiss ahhhhh i'm in love with this prompt,, kinda manga vibes which i loveeee

heeseung. noooo this is the cutest yet saddest prompt everrrr,,, haruu babe im so sorry this had to be it buttt let's look at the cute and crack part only especially if you get scared and startled easily imagine him trying to talk to you not having shown himself yet and you just get scared and scream lmao 9/10 becuz i don't wanna see haru sad.

@enhalov ( muse ) & @okwonyo ( jiah/bambi )

jay. the perfect little yn moment straight out of "how to get your crush to notice you" 100000000/10 love love love thisss, museee you got such a banger prompt, so so so fanfic coded i can't stress enough on how perfect it is and how much you suit this!!!

sunoo. this is a kdrama moment! 7/10 because pda (i feel shy even witnessing it) but good for muse you're showing it off to everyone and that too on ny eve like imagine the fireworks finishing off and then sunoo goes for a kiss becuz now everyone's attention is off from fireworks.

jake. okay no why is this so jiah coded? bambi would definitely do this for jake like a million times yk reminding him how much he means to her and how much girlie loves him. "she needs to make sure jake is always aware of his importance in her life!" infinity/10 one of my favs.

@joomiu ( nat )

sunoo. cuteeee strangers to lovers starting on the train 7/10 falling asleep on someone's shoulder is such pure fluff. nat better seize the opportunity to bag sunoo up, you don't getting him laying his head on you everyday.

sunghoon. this is so classic but still so heart fluttering man 111/10 absolute cuteness. full of domestic vibes! i know for a fact nat would do this and then giggle over this for weekss,, i mean who wouldn't.

jungwon. this is thousand kisses nat vibes totally fits her vibes and can literally imagine this actually happening, nat fussing over the fogged up glasses and lovesick won staring at her with heart eyes omgggg gem/10

@heecyon ( bee/ally)

sunghoon. this is like a lifetime kinda love you gotta grab it while you have it 9/10 absolute domestic vibes yk a supporting partner who goes to all ends.

jake. this is cute, super cute, next they kisss. 6/10 because we hate getting sick

jay. another angsty one we here 1000/10 for my sad loving ass. the star-crossed illfated turned forever lovers we go. this gives the love, rosie vibes i cried my eyes out to that but that was some good emotional shit.

@heesbaby ( cinna ) & @ctrlemis ( art )

jay. classic and then they realise their feelings and fall in love. 15/10 cinna and her dream jay date?

sunoo. now this seems very unlikely,, it would be more like both of them screaming their lungs out but this is nevertheless super cute so 9/10

sunoo. this so gives art vibes. can really picture it all happening, sunoo all excited to match? and then there's art secretly loves it but no way is gonna show it on the outside and happily wear it to make sunoo and sunoo's mom happy. 9/10

[stephiii29]

Ain't it fun?

Living in the real world

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can you do Barbie x female!reader where Barbie returns to the real world and falls head over heels for the reader and vice versa?

-Greek myth anon 📜

You first met Barbie for a short time when she's crying outside the school, feeling hurt and anxious for the first time in her life.

You didn't initially know who she was, assuming she was going through a rough breakup.

But while her eccentric pink cowgirl outfit threw you off for a moment, you didn't wanna just leave her alone. You'd feel bad for the rest of the day.

So as a women concerned for a fellow women, you approached her.

"Hey, um..are you alright-?"

"No!" She bawls. "Is this what the Real World's supposed to be like?? Where girls hate you and men objectify you?? None of this makes any sense!! Ever since I got here I started having all these weird emotions and I feel all mushy and....oh no....that's exactly what Weird Barbie warned me about!!"

"Girl, that's all part of the universal.....wait, did you say Barbie?" You blinked.

"Y-Yes..I'm Barbie. Stereotypical Barbie, actually." She sniffles, confused when you sit beside her and offer a tissue/handkerchief. "O-Oh..thank you so much...?"

"[Y/n]." You say as she dries her tears. "You know I used to love those dolls growing up. They've entertained me for hours as a little girl. So...I guess I should thank you for giving me a good childhood, assuming you really are a Barbie."

That's genuinely the nicest thing any human's said to her so far, and you give her a hug to express your support and comfort.

She cries again, but she's happy this time (much to her confusion), and you tell her that humans cry for all kinds of reasons..so it's nothing she should be too worried about.

Sadly the sweet moment doesn't last long as she's whisked away to Mattel in a black SUV, although you hold onto hope that you'll see her again.

And you eventually do in a place you least expected to find her: the gynecologist.

Barbie--now taking on the human name "Barbra"--explains how she left her "dollness" behind, being reasonably nervous, but you reassure her this is a great first step towards embracing both her humanity and womanhood.

After your appointments, you hang out together and exchange phone numbers, keeping in touch and texting back-and-forth.

You end up going on shopping trips together, getting coffee/pastries, getting your nails done, going to small concerts, etc. Just fun little things humans (and women) typically do.

If anyone tries harassing you, you're each other's best defenders.

Barbie's quick to fall head over heels for you now that she truly got to know and spend time with you.

You're funny, kind, protective...and the first person to ever ask if she was okay when she visited the Real World.

When she's not with you, she's gushing over you to Gloria and Sasha (who had to be the ones to tell her that she's in love).

Likewise, you were in love with her too, getting warm and fuzzy feelings just from looking into her eyes and seeing her smiles and radiant optimism.

Eventually you both confessed (at the exact same time), and while it's a little awkward, you're finally a couple and end up moving in together.

You love listen to her ramble about the next exciting thing she just learned about human culture (esp the technology).

"So you're saying this is Alexa and she knows everything????" Barbie points to the device in your kitchen. "And she can play any song???"

"Pretty much, yeah." You chuckle, smiling as she asks Alexa to play "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore.

She starts dancing, and you join in, singing along to the lyrics.

Indeed, she finds it fun living in the Real World with you <3

[disenchantedif]

Assign the ros songs off the rep album 👀

YES, I SO WILL. Keep in mind Rep gives very "new love interest" vibes so some ROs feature more heavily lol.

Ready for It: MC/Wraith

"But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom, holdin' him for ransom; some boys are tryin' too hard, he don't try at all, though"

End Game: MC/Amri

"Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy, I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me; and I can't let you go, your handprint's on my soul, it's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold"

I Did Something Bad: Amri

"I can feel the flames on my skin, he says, "Don't throw away a good thing," but if he drops my name, then I owe him nothing, and if he spends my change, then he had it coming"

Don’t Blame Me: MC/Theo

"And baby, for you, I would fall from grace just to touch your face; if you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay; don't blame me, love made me crazy, if it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right"

Delicate: MC/Avery

"This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me; we can't make any promises, now can we, babe? But you can make me a drink"

Look What You Made Me Do: Amri

"The world moves on, another day another drama, but not for me, all I think about is karma, and then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure; maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours"

So It Goes: MC/Amri

"All eyes on me, your illusionist, all eyes on us, I make all your gray days clear and wear you like a necklace; I'm so chill, but you make me jealous, but I got your heart skipping when I'm gone"

Gorgeous: MC/Charlie

"You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk; you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong"

Getaway Car: Taisiya

"I'm in a getaway car, I left you in a motel bar; put the money in a bag and I stole the keys, that was the last time you ever saw me"

King of My Heart: MC/Amri

"I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own; I made up my mind, I'm better off being alone; we met a few weeks ago, now you try on calling me, baby, like trying on clothes"

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: MC/Amri

"My love had been frozen deep blue, but you painted me golden; oh, and you held me close, how was I to know that I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets"

Dress: MC/Viktor

"All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting, my hands are shaking from all this; say my name and everything just stops, I don't want you like a best friend"

TIWWCHNT: MC (feat. The Bestie Squad)

"Here's a toast to my real friends, they don't care about the he said, she said; and here's to my baby, he ain't reading what they call me lately"

Call It What You Want: MC/Amri

"Walking with his head down, I'm the one he's walking to, so call it what you want to; my baby's fly like a jet stream, high above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new"

New Year's Day: MC/Avery

"I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away; I want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day"